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#rinse and repeat its just been a difficult week im sorry its not anyone elses fault
toastsnaffler · 3 months
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argh..
#dont wanna rain on anyones parade but iwtv ep7 missed the mark a lot for me i was disappointed in a lot of the writing choices#but glad i watched it w my roommate so we could pick it apart after#man. went for a walk and it made me feel so tired i feel rly dizzy and sick#and ive been feeling better today. but a lot of that is just determination not to feel worse and i have to hold it together now shes backw#im just so so so tired everhthings taken so much out of me these past few months. and im still not doing very well#and i dont know what to do with that or where to take it i feel so helpless and alone. and its fine i know ill get through it#but it just really really sucks feeling so bad so much of the time its so painful and exhausting and isolating#started crying as soon as she left to go to bed im struggling to keep it all in one place and i just want. things that are unfair to want#i know shes not able to be sympathetic or emotionally present w me in the way i want her to and i really appreciate that she lets me talk#and makes an effort to spend time w me n does so much i cant ask for anything else but i just. i dont know what i need right now#everything is so unreal and everyong feels so far away i feel so untouchable and i cant shake the unwanted feeling and its not anyones#fault its all on me its my stupid broken ass brain and im so so tired i dont even know anymore#im going to go to bed bc i have fucking work tomorrow. up at 6:30 and packed schedule and overtime 👍#all while exhausted and then crashing from meds andnthen ill come home and pretend its fine to her and do nothing and cry again and sleep#rinse and repeat its just been a difficult week im sorry its not anyone elses fault#need to brush my teeth ufgh. i dont know if i can stand up again my head hurts#.vent
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