#rinharu is always implied in everything I write

[badpostureart]

Bullying Ikuya for Sport

I wrote this piece back when I watched season three of Free! for the first time. The short of it is that I thought the first two-thirds of the episodes were shit and it was all Ikuya Kirishima’s fault. Though I’ve had the time to chill out since, I’m still a bitter bitch, and will be publicly airing out my grievances anyway.

______________________________________________________________

The Inciting Incident

Just when Haru is finally starting to feel happy and optimistic about the future going into university, Ikuya shows up with his bottom lip stuck out to guilt Haru into believing that it’s his fault that he’s so damn miserable.

From the jump, Ikuya acted horribly selfishly towards Haru. He commodifies his swimming in an attempt to garner attention from his brother, isolates himself and then blames Haru for abandoning him, goes out of his way to avoid reconciling with Haru even though he tries multiple times to apologize and explain himself, and commits perhaps the greatest sin of all by making Haru’s falling out with Rin all about him.

Ikuya never bothered to consider that Haru may have actually had a valid reason for wanting to quit swimming competitively, let alone the fact that he obviously didn’t do it with the intention of hurting him. Has Ikuya seriously never stopped to consider that Haru might have been feeling incredibly lonely himself? He saw firsthand the state Haru was in after he quit the swim club—clearly, something was seriously wrong with him! But from the way Ikuya talks about Haru, even in hindsight, he believes that the boy sat alone at his desk hiding his face in his arms is the picture of strength. I don’t understand how it’s lost on Ikuya that Haru’s friends are a major source of his strength, and their absence took a massive toll on him.

What’s more, Ikuya was able to continue swimming regardless of whatever Haru was doing. Both Rin and Haru are so fucked up over what happened that they completely stop for a while and need to find their way back to each other in order to transition into adulthood. Ikuya is able to move to America with his darling older brother and continues to swim competitively. Then he has another near-drowning accident and because Haru wasn’t the one to save him, he thought “Haru is really gone.” From there he (somehow) concludes that he needs to stop relying on other people even though his brother and his best friend are right there to support him. Hiyori was the one to dive in to save Ikuya from drowning! Then as teenagers, Ikuya has the gall to make Hiyori listen to him say that no one was around to save him? Fucking huh? I don’t even like Hiyori, but I’m offended on his behalf! Would Ikuya have been perfectly content with continuing to rely exclusively on Haru if the middle school team never broke up? How does he justify feeling bad for having responsibilized the people around him to look after him, while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge that people (especially Hiyori) have been and still are around to save him?

Despite realising back in middle school that swimming alone makes Ikuya feel terribly lonely, he’s fallen back into believing that’s what he should be doing in university. He’s re-adopted the exact same unhelpful attitude he had as a kid—he fronts like he’s unbothered by everything when he’s actually miserable. He also thinks relying on others makes him weak and he ought to be strong enough to go at it alone. So, instead of reaching out to his many friends (like Nao suggested he do), Ikuya’s found himself someone who actively isolates him further from everyone else. Even when Ikuya’s teammates at university approach him asking him to join a medley relay, Hiyori pops up to help him decline the offer because Ikuya’s convinced himself that he “can’t swim his best in team events.” Notice that instead of encouraging Ikuya to make new friends and to try swimming with them, Hiyori helps prop up the deluded narrative Ikuya’s come up with for himself that people who compete as part of a team are weak. And this is what Ikuya wants him to do! He thinks that if he ignores the past for long enough, he’ll just get over it and then come out on the other side stronger for it!

While everyone around him has put in the work to grow up, reconcile with the past, make amends, and find a dream to hold on to, Ikuya regresses into an angsty pre-teen who thinks everyone else is a jerk while being the most self-centred and uncooperative of all! He actually accuses Hiyori of misunderstanding him when he challenges the idea that Ikuya isn’t weak and can become the kind of person he wants to be. How can Ikuya honestly be mad at Hiyori for pointing out how fucking inconsistent he is? If he honestly believes that focusing solely on himself is the only way to be strong, then why in the name of god is he letting himself pine over Haru so often? Why doesn’t he try not doing that? And if it’s because he finds he can’t stop himself from doing so, then maybe he needs to re-evaluate his thinking instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for himself. Stop romanticizing the misery you make for yourself like you’re a character in a fucking storybook! It’s unproductive, it’s juvenile, and it’s not reflective of the reality you live in!

You do this to yourself, Ikuya! I don’t feel bad for you at all! And you’re damned lucky you have such caring friends because you’ve got some nerve acting this way towards them!

Why be mad at Ikuya (in S3) and not Rin (in S1 and S2)?

I apologize for talking in excess about this, but the “conflict” of this season of Free! is nowhere near as compelling as it was in the first two seasons. Perhaps my qualms lie primarily with the writers because Ikuya wasn’t introduced to the story until after season two. Thusly, during those two seasons, we never heard anything about Ikuya at all. And in fact, during that time we saw firsthand the extent to which Rin and Haru radically impacted each other! The resolution to Ikuya’s arc doesn’t feel nearly as satisfying as watching Haru finally reconcile with Rin again. And how could it? Ikuya’s arc ends two-thirds of the way through the season!

What did Ikuya do for Haru in season three? How did reconciling with Ikuya help develop Haru’s character? And that’s not to say that friendships need to be made up of a series of transactions to be meaningful. Not at all! But because Rin and Haru left such a lasting impression on how the other developed, Ikuya’s relationship with Haru is doomed to never feel as impactful in comparison. 

One may argue that Haru went out of his way to change for Ikuya by practising and participating in an IM event. However, as soon as Haru makes amends with Ikuya, he goes back to only swimming freestyle again. If Haru had been steadfast this entire time that he only (and I mean only) swims free, then it would make his choice to learn the other strokes quite significant. But you’ll notice that throughout the series, Haru adjusts and becomes more flexible in what he’s comfortable doing. At the start of season one, he was only swimming free individually. In season two, he continues to swim free individually, but he also does medley relays as the anchor. In season three, he tells Asahi that he only swims free (both individually and in medley relays) when he’s competing, but he does all the other strokes during practice too. Knowing that Haru was already familiar with the other strokes before deciding to join the IM makes it that much less moving—especially knowing that Haru didn’t have a genuine interest in swimming any of the other strokes again in the future. Moreover, the thing that made Rin’s reconciliation with Haru possible was Rin realising how shitty it was of him to ever demand that Haru should swim differently simply for him���in recognizing that Haru is a person (and a swimmer) in his own right, and isn’t a measure of Rin’s success, he can realize what an injustice he did Haru as both his friend and as his rival. 

It’s no loss to Haru if he doesn’t place in the IM. When Iwatobi subbed in Rin for Rei, the team was disqualified. But they all felt it was well worth it. It was more important to break tournament rules and to swim freely if it meant being a team again. In doing so, they were able to stay true to who they were as individuals and were reminded why they fell in love in the first place. With Ikuya, Haru was made to stray from his convictions temporarily just so that he could get through to the other boy. Why doesn’t Ikuya feel bad about that? He made it so the only way Haru could even fucking talk to him was if he orchestrated a meeting that Ikuya couldn’t walk away from, and Hiyori couldn’t interrupt!

I felt that after episode 8, things essentially go back to “normal.” No lasting changes in any of the characters come about except for Ikuya and Hiyori. Thusly, Ikuya’s reconciliation with Haru seemed to have only taken place so that Ikuya and Hiyori could mature—it otherwise had very little to do with Haru himself! And you can see that just by looking at him. Haru is obviously relieved that Ikuya’s found himself again, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the way surprise gives way to absolute peace on Haru’s face when he realizes Rin’s wrapped him up in an embrace and that they’re okay again.

One instance was a little more impactful than the other, even to the characters in the show! And that’s not because friendship is a competition, it’s that each relationship is unique and means different things to each person. However, as a showrunner, I think it’s a bad move to make the protagonist focus all this energy and attention on someone he previously didn’t think about at all over the course of two seasons just for the sake of creating an incredibly stupid conflict to resolve! It’s no wonder why Haru wasn’t thinking about Ikuya in high school when he was still thinking about Rin. Ikuya wasn’t terribly likeable when he and Haru met, and his character post-reconciliation is barely any different than before!

The reason this season is the worst by far is how fucking forced it all felt compared to the previous ones. Rin and Haru’s feelings for each other are equal in depth and intensity. As a result, it’s glaringly obvious in contrast that Haru does not feel as strongly about Ikuya as he does about him. Ikuya propped Haru up as a hero who he wanted to emulate. Because of that, Haru became a glorified, mystified figure instead of being established as Ikuya’s equal. What’s worse is that Ikuya’s entire identity has always been the result of mimicking someone else. Rin and Haru already had personalities of their own before they met. Ikuya’s problem throughout the entire fucking series is his stunning lack of confidence in his own personhood. As a kid, he shadowed his brother and then collapsed in on himself when he didn’t have Natsuya to mirror after anymore. Then, he endeavours to copy Haru, and when he’s faced with the reality that Ikuya will have to exist as Ikuya without Haru, he recedes into having no confidence and is unable to entertain the idea that he is in control of the person he is or wants to be.

And Haru knows all this about Ikuya. He knows the kind of person he is. The first time they met, Haru gathered that Ikuya had an attitude problem because he watched him spend the better part of their first day in middle school glaring at Asahi. Then Ikuya makes a fuss over nobody taking swimming as seriously as him and joins the swim club only to start copying Haru before he finally confides in his teammates that he feels incredibly lonely swimming by himself. Compare that to the impression left by Rin. In comes this kid, all enthusiasm and toothy grins, taking Haru by the hand and promising to show him magic. He was extremely endearing, so it’s no wonder he left such a deep impression on the people he met as a kid. 

Most importantly, the reason Rin fell apart when he was abroad wasn’t that he invented problems to blame Haru for, it was because he went too long without a proper support system. Unlike Ikuya, Rin didn’t go to Australia with family or friends. In fact, he struggled to create relationships because of the language barrier. He once tried to describe a cherry blossom tree to his classmates and was given a mop. If that wasn’t bad enough, the one thing that was supposed to provide Rin with a sense of belonging, swimming, he massively struggled in. It was the whole reason he went abroad, right? Sure, he’d have to be on his own for a while, but he thought he could bear it if it meant he could become a stronger swimmer. He was forced to contend with his own shortcomings every single day and couldn’t even talk to anyone about it because they literally didn’t understand him. At least if he went home to Iwatobi, raced his childhood rival, and won, then maybe all that struggling would’ve been worth it. But it wasn’t. He hated himself for how useless he felt. If Rin couldn’t even prove to his childhood rival that he was worthy of his father’s dream, then how could he believe it himself?  

What makes Rin and Haru’s relationship so tragic is that after nestling himself deep into Haru’s bones, Rin departs suddenly and returns to Iwatobi almost unrecognizable years later. What makes their reconciliation so sweet is that the person Haru fell in love with finally comes home. Rin absolutely turned Haru’s world upside-down and introduced him, to risk sounding cheesy, to sights he’s never seen before! He broadened Haru’s world to the point where he started wanting things that he never cared about before and didn’t think he ever would. Rin brings out things in Haru that nobody else can—a competitive spirit, and a desire to put himself out there and experience new things. When Haru finds out that Rin was going to give up on all the beautiful things he showed him when they were kids of course he wanted to be the one to show Rin those sights again! In reconnecting, they were able not only to accept the past but to walk together towards the future. They’ve been spurring each other forward since the day they met! Rin makes Haru want to move forward, want to grow, want to change! He meets Rin to share a dream with him. And that’s, like, the most romantic thing I’ve ever fucking heard! 

So, you’ll have to forgive me for being unsympathetic towards Ikuya. He’s so far out of his fucking league here and he has no idea! He is seriously so self-important that he thinks he can force his way into Haru’s orbit and position himself in a place as special as the space occupied by Rin. Get with the fucking program, Ikuya! 

______________________________________________________________

P.S.

I would like to extend my sincerest thanks to everyone who liked my first post and for leaving such thoughtful comments. These mini-essays (for lack of a better term) are part of a purely self-indulgent project where I pen down my thoughts about the Free! series. Collectively, the entire project is a whopping two-hundred pages and counting—though most of it is in the form of bullet points. And while I could just dump the entire thing here, I don’t think it would be fair to ask anyone to read that much—especially all at once. That said, it can’t hurt to share some bite-sized excerpts at a time!  

Although I didn’t start writing about this series to share my thoughts with (virtually) anyone, I figure since I’ve already written the damn thing I might as well post some of it. If no one ultimately reads anything I write, then nothing lost nothing gained. But knowing that there are people out there interested in hearing what I have to say (wordy as I am) means the world to me. So, thank you again.

[rinharu-purple]

Hi Rinharu~

What are the hints between Gavin and MC for wedding plans?

Heyho nonny!

Thank you for your "straight to the point" question 😅💯🙋‍♀️

There has been a couple of posts about this in the past. I touched upon this topic here and Cheri had her take on this here. So I would love to give you a different perspective on this if I may.

Spoiler-free short answer is... There are too many hints both from Gavin and MCs side about their wedding plans, desire to be inseparated forever or to age together. But there are also many people who are blessing their love and wish them to tie the knot. And finally their story has a setting which showcases them as a couple on their way to become Mr. And Mrs. So I will try to bullet point through them and I hope I can do it justice and I am truly sorry for some asks which I won't be able to answer anymore (about the newest PV and the chapters) but I will write a post in general which will answer most of your questions I promise!

Spoilers ahead!👰🏻🤵🏻💖💙

💍Hints from Gavin

1) Brilliant Date "I won't let go of you... Not in this life". It is actually just an addition to Gavin's "I'll accompany you till the very end." saga. The fact that this is his character line is the biggest hint one can look for. But I decided not to include too many "I wanna stay with you forever" type of claims from both since the undertone of this is not exactly about marrying stereotypically.

2) Splendid Glimpse Date: The ritual of binding their hair with a red string and then improvising and proposing to her on stage. (Also the color red has been used by PG in Gavin and MC's Karmas more and more in the last few months, the red umbrella, the red ribbon, the red silk ball etc.)

3) 2 Become 1 Date... Pretty much everything in this date is a hint and I think it's about time I write an analysis on this. But to point out the biggest clue, Gavin bought a gem for this occasion. We can safely assume what he bought is actually an engagement ring since you don't just by a gem for such an occasion, but it's left for our imagination... For now ;)

But there is something else in this date which is my Headcanon and can be found here.

4) Call from Dreamers Date: "On my next birthday, I will use what I didn't have the chance to use last time" Meaning his birth register which is necessary for two bureaucratic actions... To change your nationality or to apply for marriage... Which one do you think Gavin's meaning here? 😉

Speaking of next birthday ...

5) Hometown Date, Gavin mentions of buying a piano for the house in the future and implies that MC would be living in there too. Here both of them decorate this future house together in their minds ^_^

6) ASMR Hairpin... Also during the "Right Beside You" section of his birthday, Gavin gives his maternal grandmother's hairpin to MC alongside with the accessory box it was in, he suggests they fill the box together and tells that he will have something to tell her once the box is full.

7) Phone Call "Halves"

"Whether it's the present or the future, I will always share half of my life with you"

Does anyone else get the Edward Elric proposal vibes here?

8) Dream Lake Call where he asks MC about her dream wedding and tells her that in case she wishes to have a high profile proposal he would just hoist her on his shoulders caveman style so that she can't back up (aaah the good old at-the-beginning-Gavin...😄) Which we know he really did...twice! This guy never jokes about such things lol.

9) Call with Mr. Keller here

Mr. Keller: I wonder when I will receive an invitation from both of you.

Gavin: Someday, you will.

There are many more instances with Gavin but I would like to count some from MC as well.

💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒

💍Hints from MC

1) Amusement Park Date "My dream of an everlasting romance has finally come true." We need to understand one thing about MC. She loves fairytales, specifically the Cinderella story. Be it her midnight waltz with Gavin in S1 CH19 and S1 CH33, be it Gavin putting on crystal shoes for her, be it them contemplating about finding each other despite all odds in Three Lifetimes Date but also her asking him directly if the prince (he) would go for someone else had he not found Cinderella. Going along with this, both of their wedding themed pics are in front of a fairytale castle.

2) Late Autumn Date "The rest of my life is yours, The years that we’ve missed out on are also yours (whatever I have, I will give it to you. I will give everything to you, leaving nothing behind)"... I really have nothing to add to this to be honest. It speaks for itself LOUD AND CLEAR! 💖💖💖

3) 2 Become 1 Date "So this is how people felt when they found their Mr. Right." I will explain everything in more detail when I analyze this date I promise!

4) Beautiful Future Call: Gavin remembers that MC mentioned of moving to a Shangri-La where they can live, just the two of them, in a far away future.

5) Growing old together CH19

What shall I say about this? It's quite self-explanatory isn't it? ;) The complete Eternal Winter era has numerous points of MC expressing her wishes for an everlasting staying togetherness with Gavin. More to this can be found here.

6) Halloween AU Fullmoon Date where she directly proposes to him... Spoiler alert, Gavin refuses her because they've just met lol😂

7) When she tells him she wants to see him wearing a tuxedo in Slightly Drunken Date during her love confession "No more talking! Just listen to me! When I said that, I meant it. Not about the bass playing, but you. I like the gift you gave me, I like the bracelet you gave me. I also like that love letter that I never read. I want to see more sides of you...When you’re eating, when you’re sleeping, when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you’re wearing a tuxedo (ehm...mask...ehm), or red in the face from drinking."

8) Not being able to refuse him. Both in the Assistance Date and S2 CH23, MC has recently repeated her inability to say "no" to Gavin. Which hints at the possibility or rather the impossibility of her saying "no" to him in case he proposes;) Come to think of it, she has never ever refused Gavin in any circumstance over the last 4 years. (Accept for sneezing into his fave twice while he was leaning in for a kiss and not listening to his cautious warnings of not getting in danger lol. For you @playheej :*) BTW there were other cases were she expressed her inability to refuse Gavin but the recent ones should draw the picture.

9) 2 Become 1 Date "No matter whether the wedding is real or fake, I ONLY want to be YOUR BRIDE" As a matter of fact, they both say this:

At this point I don't know if one needs any more hints than that. I mean it is written on black and white here, leaving no room for interpretation. At this point it is not even a hint if you ask me but a statement that makes it abundantly clear what these two plan with each other.

💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒

💍Other people wishing them to just tie the knot

Will go bullet points here because you didn't originally ask for this dear nonny, but you get it anyway 😛

1) Susan from Splendid Glimpse Date

- Now let me fix your makeup. Soon your Gavin will have a beautiful bride at his side.

- What do you think, bridegroom?

2) As mentioned above Mr. Keller on his call asking for the date ^_^

3) MCs Aunt in Spring Festival Date "Actions speak louder than words. We're old and won't be around for her forever. I hope you can keep your word, stay with her, take good care of her and love(cherish) her."

4) Panda from Amusement Park Date "I want them to be my parents!"

5) Minor as the #1 GavinxMC supporter! #sis-in-law

6) The Whole STF #mrs. Commander. I thought of including CH37 here, but I wanted to mention in this posts the scenes that are about marriage overtly.

7) Anna during 2 Become 1 Date in front of Gavin: "I'm tearing up, seeing you getting married". Jeez chill your horses Anna, it's just a fake wedding🙈 (tell me more about it 😏)

8) The granny from Rainbow Date: "Looking at you reminds me of the time when my husband and I were young."

9) It is just a hint without giving out names, but there are these two moments with MC's dad and Gavin's mother here. Both Gavin and MC believe that they've found the person in each other of which their parents were telling them about and wishing for them. There is also a Freudian twist to this but it deserves a whole post for itself.

💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒

💍The Setting

Okay I left this for the latest because it is still a thing in the making. But the main story, company projects and dates have many instances for Gavin and MC that take place in a "wedding/newlyweds/fiancées" setting.

1) The Whole S1 CH15... You were wondering when I would make a CH15 reference weren't you? 🤣 Besides my gushing about this episode here and here, the most prominent thing about this was how MC and Gavin were taking care of Perry in a family portrait setting. Not to mention they were mistaken for his parents twice.

2) S2 Guardian Project.. . Gavin and MC visit a tausend year old marriage tree... On the Northern Mountain!

3) The Stories Project...Gavin and MC investigate a man who's lost his fiancée and committed suicide. This was the hardest story I've ever read in the MLQC universe and how this story resembled that of Gavin and MCs frightens me up to this day.

4) The whole series of Brangelina-style adoptions😂... Let's be honest, these two adopt anything and everything, regardless of whether they are living beings or mere objects. Their children's names are: Sparky, Pearly, Thorny, Greene, Little Blacky, Flyer, Jumpy, Perry*, Panda*. Sorry dear nonny I needed a relief after remembering the "Stories" Project :D

5) Role-playing "Mrs. Bai" on the Fragrant Traces Date and boy it was a delight 😍😍😍

6) I can swear that their kiss in S1 CH37 is on the 7th step of the 3rd floor stairs but can't prove it🙈. It is a Loveland High School legend that says the couples would have an everlasting love of they kiss there. It's just my Headcanon though so has to be enjoyed with a grain of salt ;)

💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒

So there you go nonny, I hope I could have collected everything under this post, although I'm pretty sure that I've forgotten about many more hints because Gavin and MCs story has the most hints about being a couple on their way to making future plans, which suits to their "conventional love story" trope. Which makes their story highly suitable for such references and thus spoiling us with many sweet moments. So I'm certain that we will be given many more hints in the future, so we can look forward to them 💕💕💕

----—----—---—-----—

Masterlist

[redxblueihateloveyou]

To be honest, I don't feel like it should be "Only RinHaru is a valid ship" or "Only MakoHaru is a valid ship". I can see why people would start shipping RinHaru as they grow more mature and spend more time in the fandom because their relationship is more complexe. But when I watched Free for the first time (the week I turned 16) MakoHaru was quite boring to me. I started shipping it after watching Starting Days. Do I think RinHaru is a beautiful ship too? Yeah! Both are 'canon' in their own way

It’s really not true. And I’m just stating facts here, not stuff out of my head. If you prefer stuff like Makoharu it’s your choice, maybe you like these sort of relationship, who knows, but saying that they’re both as canon is just a lie.

You won’t read anywhere that Haru looked at Makoto and his heart fluttered and his body felt hot, but you can read it about Haru looking at Rin. 

There’s only one ship in Free! that’s written like this “It’s like I can feel him. I can feel Haruka with me. It’s annoying. As soon as I think about him, my heart starts beating so fast and I can’t keep calm. He can’t be near, but I still feel him. I can sense him. Am I this obsessed? Everything that I wanted... It’s much hotter now, it burns me. And I’ll burn Haru with this flame”. And no, you won’t find anything like that with Makoharu. And that’s only one outs 1000 of quotes like that...  only about Rinharu.

If you’re having some troubles understanding characters, you can always read the books or free! rediscovery or producer comments or watch cd dramas. There they literally write over scenes how characters feel, which I think is obvious as it is tbh. Like here, for example. This is a legit thing from the book:

Miraculously me and everyone who was watching with me got everything the creators tried to tell without the commentary, but, hey, not everyone’s brains work the same way (and I don’t mean it like you’re stupid, I mean maybe my mind is just ordinary and yours is extraordinary).

I just genuinely wonder... in such moments, those who don’t ship Rinharu think what exactly? Stuff like “Rin just doesn’t see his own happiness that’s right before his eyes”? lol

They even openly admitted that nobody else ever made them feel that way, so it’s just facts. Not my opinion or anything.

Mooks are same. Rinharu mook gives off an entirely different vibe as the others, containing even borderline sexual stuff, which never happened to other ships.

I just myself prefer to not wear blinders. I have ships who are less canon than the other in animes. In some situations saying “just as canon” doesn’t work. Just say “I prefer that for some reason”. It’s a free world. People ship literally whatever in Free even for absolute no reason at all. Will I ever get it? No. But seriously after seeing ppl shipping something over Wangxain, I stopped being surprised.

For example, if I ship a less canon ship, it’s usually because like in bakudeku case I don’t like the way they’re when they’re together and I don’t see how it would work. But stuff like that doesn’t apply in Makoharu/Rinharu case, because Rin and Haru bring out the best in each other and you can’t really argue with that since it’s very clear. So the reason to not wanting them to be together, when they clearly want to be together must have something to do with either your personal preferences (which is like some people truly prefer just staying afloat to surfing waves, also habit is much easier, love is much harder) or with “I don’t want Makoto to be alone” (which is not a good reason to ship it tbh).

So no, in reality, romantic realtionships are always hinted only in Rinharu case. Since that first “Romantic, isn’t it?” Never once anything like that implied to any other ship. Sousuke also never made Rin’s heart skip a beat. They’ve actually also specifically added scenes where Rin picks Haru over Sousuke and Haru picks Rin over Makoto. Which is also why I’ll never get how you’d ship these.

P.S. when I was 16 I’ve watched CW shows, so let me just say 16 and 20 is a huuuge difference when it comes to preferences. There’re things I’ve watched back then, that I wouldn’t watch now without laughing, so who knows what it would be later haha 

[badpostureart]

Message in a Bottle (pt. 2)

For anon, who asked my thoughts about secondary characters in Free! (continued).

I like Natsuya, I really do, but the guy needs to smarten up! While it’s totally understandable that he wanted his little brother to step out from his shadow and become his own person, I think it’s unwise to just throw Ikuya in the proverbial deep end, watch him almost drown himself, and refuse to help him. It’s obvious that Natsuya cares a lot about Ikuya, but he seems to struggle with actually being there for him. I don’t know why as an older brother, knowing your baby brother is shy, you wouldn’t try and introduce him to other kids or offer to do things together. It sounds like he just stopped showing up for Ikuya and didn’t explain to him why. Now, it isn’t Natsuya’s fault that Ikuya became a moody son-of-a-bitch as he got older, but he made it so that Ikuya didn’t feel comfortable confiding in him anymore. There would be no need to strap Hiyori with the responsibility of looking out for Ikuya and giving him updates about how he’s doing if Natsuya would just show up. Then again, it wasn’t until recently that Natsuya even considered showing up for himself and thinking seriously about what he wants to do with his life…maybe he thinks commitment is scary, hm?

I don’t think Natsuya purposely withheld love/affirmation from his brother. Maybe he just underestimated how badly he needed it or felt too awkward to say how proud of him he was. How all of this became Haru’s fault of all people is beyond me, and maybe that’s why seeing the Kirishimas actually reconcile and start to communicate felt…just meh. I’m not sure Natsuya understood the gravity of what he did, nor do I think Ikuya directed his hurt at the right person. They’re in a much better place than they were, but I’m not sure either brother fully owned up to anything, does that make sense?

Which segways to Ikuya himself. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that some of my frustrations with this kid may simply be due to projection. I too was once a moody son-of-a-bitch, so I get it, I do. And because I get it, I know that at a certain point, you gotta own up to it. You gotta say, “My attitude is shit. Yeah, people have let me down, and I feel lonely and angry, but I can’t keep holding onto all this shit and being miserable. I have to do something about it.”

In Dive to the Future, Ikuya expressed wanting to be a hero like Haru: “Not a hero that fights evil and stuff, but the kind that everyone looks up to. The kind that helps out whenever someone is lost or stuck.” But the only “heroic” thing Ikuya seemed to have done since smiling at another kid in kindergarten was convincing his university team captain to put Hiyori on the relay team with him at regionals—which they should have been doing together the whole time anyway! Then in the Final Stroke, Ikuya tells Rin, “Back then, I looked at the stars with Haru like this…as I made a wish to be able to swim faster.” So, was he just saying that “hero” stuff to look good? Or does he think that people admire Haru simply because he is a fast swimmer?! See, here I go getting pissed off again!

This is perhaps a bit off-topic, but something that both frustrated and interested me was Ikuya’s curiosity about the nature of Haru’s relationship with Rin. He’s straightforward in asking Rin if he’s happy to see Haru win or finds it frustrating, he tags along with them to see the venue in Sydney despite being “well aware…that this is an important place to you [two],” and asks Rin if he was okay not being in the room with Haru after he collapsed for the nth time. It seems as though the primary reason Ikuya wanted to start spending time with Rin was to try and sus out why he’s so important to Haru. On the one hand, it feels like he’s intruding and being nosy. But on the other hand, the more he pries, the more Rin talks about how much he adores Haru and the more it’s made plain that Haru feels the same way…and as a member of the Rinharu propaganda department, I hoard those moments like treasure! 

Ikuya certainly pisses me off, but he’s not a bad person, y’know? Just dramatic! But so am I for getting so worked up over his shenanigans!!

For someone who has always been “mature for his age,” Hiyori has a really warped understanding of how friendships work. Ikuya was patient and reached out to Hiyori when nobody else seemed to give him the time of day and from thenceforth, he became this glorified hero figure in Hiyori’s eyes that he wanted to hoard for himself. He actively chased away people who tried to get close to Ikuya, dubbing them unworthy of being his friend, even though those people would probably become his friends too if he wasn’t such a territorial weirdo. Even after Ikuya reconciles with his old relay team (despite Hiyori’s attempts at preventing this), Hiyori remains weirdly possessive over Ikuya. When Sousuke compliments Ikuya’s strength as a swimmer in light of Sydney’s prelims, Hiyori thanks him. Sousuke, reasonably enough, wonders why he’s saying thank you. I don’t think it was because Hiyori was trying to take credit for Ikuya’s strength or to thank Sousuke on his behalf, but more likely that he means to say thanks for complimenting his Ikuya. Hiyori seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Also, I still can’t believe he got away without so much as a bloody nose after telling Haru that “everyone who swims with you ends up suffering somehow, huh?” The sheer audacity is baffling!

Ryuuji, much like Haru, has unorthodox methods and is a bit of a weirdo, so I think he’s a good fit as his coach. However, I also think he’s sometimes too hard on Haru and his advice that he should “throw things away” to become a better swimmer is fucking awful. I won’t go as far as saying that Haru’s falling out with Rin after Sydney is Ryuuji’s fault, and I don’t think he was wrong to tell Rin that he needed to fix things himself, but Ryuuji was the one to tell Haru that “the only ones who make it are the ones who don’t waver an inch, even if something happens to someone they care about.” Or in other words, one shouldn’t let things in their personal life affect their swimming, no matter how dear or important. This logic operates under the assumption that swimming is (and should be) completely divorced from everything and everyone else, which is directly contrarian to how Haru swims! It’s literally what sets Haru apart from someone like Albert! Moreover, if your athlete calls you in the middle of the night out in the pouring rain and tells you he’s ready to sacrifice everything to improve despite explicitly saying previously that he won’t do that, you’d probably think something must’ve happened, right? Then you watch him over-exert himself because he’s in a hurry against his own anatomy and your solution is to shove Rin against a wall and tell him that it’s his responsibility to fix things with Haru?

I’ve never been in sports myself, so I can’t say for sure to what degree a good coach should be involved in their athlete’s personal life when it’s clearly affecting how they perform. Still, I don’t know how realistic it is to expect Haru to just forget everything while he swims—because on the one hand, it’s important to focus on himself as he is instead of pushing himself too hard in order to surpass others, but on the other, distancing himself from the people that he cares about so he can spend all his time and energy training is counterintuitive because his bonds are where he draws his strength from. I suppose this is why the expression “don’t mix business and pleasure” exists because swimming simply isn’t “just a job” for Haru, nor is it separate from everything else he cares about. This is his life we’re talking about here! I hate the idea that life is supposed to stop just because a person has a job to do!

And hell, maybe I’m misinterpreting things and Ryuuji’s stupid advice to Haru had no impact on his decision to throw himself into a self-destructive spiral. But if Ryuuji wants Haru to avoid the mistakes he once made, I think it's unwise to advise him to stop concerning himself with people he cares about. Y’know that shit Ryuuji told Rin? That he needs to “grab on to what’s important” to him “and not let it go”? That’s the advice he needs to give Haru too. He doesn’t need to give up anything—all he’s ever had to be is himself. Wait, shut up. Just as I’m typing this out, I realized that Rin pulling Haru into an embrace in the night pool is literally grabbing on to what’s important and not letting go. Oh! I’m gonna make myself cry! GOD, I LOVE RINHARU! Much like Haru’s personal life being intertwined with swimming, BadPosture’s Free!meta is never without Rinharu!

Kinjou is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch with a history with Ikuya and Hiyori that I am completely oblivious to. I’m seriously wondering if there was another movie or something that I missed because I don’t know what’s going on with them. He shows up for the first time at the end of Road to the World to tell Hiyori that he thinks he’s worse off being friends with Ikuya and to call him “Hiyori Crybaby.” I don’t remember Hiyori’s character ever being established as a crybaby, so I’m not sure where this nickname came from. Then in the first part of the Final Stroke, we see that Hiyori and Kinjou met as kids, but something else must’ve happened between then and university because kid-Hiyori moving away suddenly doesn’t explain Kinjou’s animosity towards Ikuya.

At the prelims, Kinjou calls Ikuya “Mermaid Princess Hero,” which means he’s probably heard Ikuya’s claim that he “gave up his heart in order to get stronger,” but “couldn’t become human.” Who’s to say if he knows anything about Haru? Anyway, he also brought over another breaststroke swimmer named Kotetsu Sudou to intimidate Ikuya, saying, “You might always be pushing Hiyori and your brother around…but don’t get full of yourself.” So…Kinjou bullies Ikuya because he doesn’t want him going around thinking he’s hot shit? I was gonna say that this is pretty unnecessary, but I just remembered the whole “Bullying Ikuya For Sport” thing, so I guess I’m not one to talk… Anyway, he goes on to say something rather curious about Ikuya’s performance at prelims: “Don’t show me such mediocre swimming. There’s too big of a gap between you and Sudou…even though there’s someone rooting for you.” Does he think that Ikuya’s performance should be enhanced knowing that he has Hiyori back home rooting for him? While that’s an awfully romantic statement, it’s not exactly realistic! Then later, Kinjou confides to Hiyori that he’s jealous of Ikuya because he’s “blessed” …presumedly in the form of cheerleaders Natsuya and Hiyori. Perhaps knowing that Ikuya takes his support system for granted is what makes Kinjou dislike him. (And perhaps he and I have more in common than I thought!) Then again, in the second part of the Final Stroke, Kinjou apologizes to Ikuya for “always lashing out” at him and Hiyori, effectively resolving the matter less than two minutes into the movie. So…that’s that?  

Then there’s the business with Kinjou’s cousin, Kiyo. What the hell happened to him? Is he even still alive? Because I know next to nothing about this mystery relative, Kinjou’s conversation with Ryuuji about him “going through a lot” is really confusing! And then in the next movie, Ryuuji says to Kinjou, “I’ll save you someday, too!” LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. (And in case you forgot, Ryuuji, your only charge ends up in rehab after one season of you coaching him! You aren’t in any position to be saving anybody, bitch!!) Anyway, it’s obvious that Kinjou’s arrogance is his way of overcompensating for the fact that he’s a lot more sensitive and cares more than he wants to let on. He’s something of a tsundere whose actions run contrarian to his words—because while he keeps saying that he’s only swimming for himself, he joins the Haru protection squad and swims to give Haru a chance at competing in the final. So, in short, I think Kinjou is alright, but I haven’t spent enough time with him to get to know him, y’know?

Albert is something of an enigma, but mostly because I have no idea what his motivations are. He’s an ominous figure in the world of swimming, with the nickname “Odin” instead of the usual animal motif. Mikhail cautions Rin that his swimming is “out of this world” and Isuzu says there are rumours that anyone who swims with him “feels their mind being torn apart.” But when he meets Haru, he seems…nice? He’s not arrogant like Kinjou and he actually seemed to be kind of free-spirited. We see that he’s an exceptionally quick learner and he acknowledges Haru as a swimmer. Nevertheless, competing against Albert disrupted Haru’s subconsciousness (in that the answer to the big “why do you swim” question gets fuzzy in his mind) …but I’m not exactly sure why. Mind you, Albert’s interactions with Haru after they met are just downright bizarre. He says such cryptic shit like, “The water favours you, I can tell,” but he seemed so genuinely pleased that I can’t get a proper read on him at all!

It’s my understanding that Albert’s team manager is living vicariously through him, and so Albert has been strapped with the expectations and dreams of someone else. I can understand why he’s a clinical swimmer because the only things that matter to his team are his appearances and results. With that all said, I wonder if Albert chose to miss the finals in Sydney partly as an act of defiance against his manager and partly to fuck with the psyche of other swimmers—especially after dismissing Kinjou completely before the semi-finals and telling Haru that he’s “not swimming for fun today. I’m just going out there to do my job.”

Feeling as though he had to take on Albert alone is what made Haru “throw everything away” (in the form of a dissociative episode where he breaks things off with Rin), and then launch himself into self-destructive training under Ryuuji. The second part of the Final Stroke is all about Haru recanting that idea and accepting the support of others. Meanwhile, Albert is hardly in this movie at all! I think my biggest question is whether or not Albert likes or wants to break the spirits of other swimmers. I honestly don’t think he does, so I can’t help but feel bad for him. Still, his general cadence is so fucking weird! I have no clue what he’s thinking at all!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

When you ship a couple, do you care about who is top or bottom or have a reason to ship so? I know for a fact that for wangxian, the role is clear because the author said so. But how about the other couples such as rinharu or akakuro?

I, of course, usually have my preferences, to me it all based on the character observation and some real life expiriences. I mean, I just don’t think it’s always this obvious, cause it depends on a person. Like some like to dominate in life, but give up control in bed, some like to dominate everywhere. So to me it all comes to some character specifics, not like a particular sorting scheme.

There’s one thing I’ve noticed tho is that tops are usually, if you ever noticed, have better control over their emotions. I mean, they’re more stable I’d say, which is very important when it comes to this kind of position, cause even tho bottoms, of course, can also sometimes be dominant, but in general, bottoms intrust their bodies into tops hands and if you look at it like that, you’ll realize, that some people are just not very suitable for this. 

I mean, Wei Wuxian is way too emotional and he’s very unstable when he loses control, so during sex in the books he just loves to put himself into Lan Zhan’s trusted hands, fully giving himself up to him, plus have you heard all of his babbling and things falling from his mouth during their sexcapades? I mean, I just love the fact that he’s so into it, he doesn’t even give a fuck about what’s he saying, where they are or how loud he is. Not to mention, that as a person who always cared about all the people, I think he's allowed to want to be taken care of for once. Same for Xie Lian. Like Lan Wangji and Hua Cheng on the other hand don’t give a fuck about everyone else in the world, their main and only priority is their other half xD

Harurin is a Harurin to me for many reasons. Firstly, we’ve talked about it a lot, and I think it’s easier to explain it this way: their characters dynamic is just so crazy similar to Wangxian, that they even share an absolutely identical scenes and to the point where I was asked to do a reincarnation AU vid several times (and I’m working really hard on this one, cause they’re both way too special for me, but I’ll finish it xD).

Secondly, I just don’t think that Haru is the kind of person who likes to give up control, no he actually likes to be pinned down and if he is, he usually just turns it all around and still has the last word in it haha Like even during the fence scene, when Rin said “you will swim for me”, I mean, we all know that Haru of course doesn’t mind, he loves swimming for him, but he does not like when someone talks to him like that, so same as to when Sousuke tried to be agressive and push him, it’ll only end with Haru being like “really tho?”. And it all usually leads to some sassy and poingnant remarks like “well, don’t embarrass yourself and cry then”. He just no likes it, no will budge like this. He loves things to be on his terms, so you gotta know ways around this. That’s why all things Rin did during Austaralia trip were very sneaky. 

So I don’t mind them switching in fics, but it depends on how you write it. And Rin is the only person, who’s allowed to do all the things to Haru, he’d never allow anyone else to do. So once again, depends how you play it out in the fic. I mean, Haru also canonically loves driving Rin crazy and sometimes purposefully fires him up like during the TYM episode, where he hasn’t stopped teasing Rin about his driving skills and saying that he was better, until Rin sped up and started showing off. But once again, in situations like this, he’s the one in control, too.

But to me yes, it’s like this. I prefer it this way and I love pampered Rin, plus he’s so soft, man, and his heart is way too gentle, he’s like my romantic sakura blossom. And don’t you just wanna squish him and mess him up.

Not to mention that I’ve discussed this a lot with gay friends, who also said the same thing, that they do not get why it’s called Rinharu. Same as we discussed Sousuke and how he doesn’t give off any top vibes at all. Also with all the hidden gay metaphors in Free! I really don’t think that that scene when Sousuke and Rin argue about who takes the bottom bed wasn’t intentional, just cause I wasn’t the only one who thought about the hidden agenda in this.

As to akakuro, like I’ve said here and here, canonically Kuroko likes to be spoiled and praised, it’s been mentioned and implied in a lot in different situations. I mean, throughout all the Teiko he encouraged Akashi’s favoritism and to the day loves to use it to his advantage. Akashi, on the other hand, truly just enjoys being a dom, literally everywhere, whether it’s basketball, them going on vacation or just bossing people around, and he loves to spoil and pamper Kuroko, so I really can’t imagine them switching. I mean, it’s just how they like it, so to me after all the observations Kuroko is clearly a confident bratty sub, who in fact can use his puppy eyes to make his dom make anything, and absolutely loves this kinda power.

Sometimes I genuinely do not have a preference and love it both ways equally. Like with Ereri, for example, even tho, the author said that Levi is always a bottom. Although I kinda understand why, since Levi is probably tired of the need to be in control of everything in his life, while Eren has literally no control over his life at all, but clearly wishes he had.

So yeah, depends on characters, their lives and what are their relationships.