#riku did a proper jump tho

[thistaleisabloodyone]

While it'd be fucking hilarious (to me, anyway) if the CyberHelix versions of Kazuma and Hokuto were them singing while Riku's out here dancing, I highly doubt they did that 😂

[lynxgriffin]

The boys are back in town

KH3 commentary continues! We’re getting closer to the end now!! Under the cut for spoilers!

WHELP OKAY as we approach the ending sooner and sooner WE CONTINUE ONWARD

TO SAN FRANSOKYO

I’m excited for this world because I looove BH6 BUT I’M ALSO NERVOUS

HEEEEERE WE GO

Cosmopolitan??

Sora: EVERYTHING’S SO SHINY AND COOL :DDD

I love everything on this world so far

OH LAWD HE COMIN’

I love…Baymax…

Wasabi: Damn fake news!

Excuse U I think we beat them pretty good

Sora: Look Fred I’ve seen and been actual monsters I’d totally buy you were one

Sora YOU DORKUS

Never tell me the odds!

NO LET THE CUTE BOYS AND GALS HELP

Tadashi :((((

Sora: I dunno, that sounds suspiciously computers

MORE MINIGAMES

Probably didn’t do that obstacle course great, but oh well, managed it

Gogo all WHEN DO I LEARN TO RUN UP BUILDINGS

It’s magic, Gogo, it’s just magic

And then they all learned from Sora’s example of BE OP AND KICK ASS

STITCH SUMMON

Now we’re all 20% cooler

Man an actual news report treating a Heartless invasion like it actually would appear

Whole lotta fighting on the side of buildings here!

HEARTLESS KAIJU

Well that was a fun boss battle there

TIME TO LEARN TO FIST BUMP SORA

ba-lalalaa

Oh no now everything’s sweet and perfect HOW LONG CAN THIS LAST

OH NOOO

*clutches chest*

Oh well that ain’t good

Slooooow headtilt

Ummm I can’t target this scary moving block of pixels thing

THIS CITY IS TOO DANG BIG FOR MY TEENY TINY BRAIN

SHEESH OKAY finally got everyone for that, that took awhile

OH NO WHO’S THIS

Whooooo isssss iiiiit

DATAKU? OR REPLIKU?

Seems like it should be Dataku what with…the theming here

Sora come on that wasn’t Riku he didn’t have the right haircut

Man that’s the kinda boss battle that’s gonna hurt a person’s eyes

Sora: Are we seriously still on that kick again??

THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING

Okay seriously, is this Dataku, Repliku or Pastku?? I’M NOT QUITE FOLLOWING YET

Sora: Seriously guys this is total BS

OH NO WE’LL HAVE TO FIGHT BAYMAX 1.0 WON’T WE

OH HI Pete and Maleficent we haven’t seen you in awhile

Is Somebodykunort finally recognizing the fact that they’re maybe someone to follow

WELL SOMEBODY TELL ME FROM WHEN BECAUSE I’D LIKE TO KNOW

Fred is so genre-savvy

Okay those are definitely the blox things from Re:Coded

YUP I WAS RIGHT IT’S EVIL BAYMAX

DARKMAX

Oh I don’t like at all where this is going

I like his scary cube claw tho

Well that was appropriately epic

Just put another good chip in him??

Or not :( Sob poor Hiro

Uuuugh just that offscreen CRUNCH

OH WE DID FIX HIM

NOW THERE’S DOUBLE BAYMAX

WOW WE’RE DONE that was a heck of a deal

I’M KIND OF NERVOUS ABOUT WHATEVER’S NEXT

Oh that is bad news

Oh of course Sora’s gonna run off to realm of darkness THIS WON’T END BADLY AT ALL

LET’S JUST JUMP INTO THE GATE WHERE WE DON’T KNOW IT GOES IT’S FINE

HEY IT’S OUR HOME

*gasps* MASTER KEEPER

SORA WRONG TAKE DONALD AND GOOFY WITH YOU

EVERY TIME YOU DO THIS

TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN

YOU WILL NOT BE FINE YOU DUMB CHILD TAKE YOUR GUARDIANS WITH YOU

*tears out hair* jdsakldjal they NEVER LEARN

OH NO IT’S DARKQUA ISN’T IT

Well time to wreck Mickey’s shit absolutely I guess

“GREAT NOW I HAVE GUILT”

OH. OH HI REPLIKU

Oh damn here we go

Sora: HEY GUYS WHAT’S HAPPENI—ohhh

OMG IT’S THAT KEYBLADE

The power to explode everything

LMAO Aqua just zipping over the water like that

Oooof okay okay okay now it’s a proper versus Aqua battle, this is gonna be a toughie

Well that was indeed challenging but we managed it!

Aqua noooooooooo COME BACK TO US QUEEN

TAKE MY HAND I’M A STRANGER IN PARADISE

Yessss aaaaaaaaa

OH NO SOB

WE SAVED THE QUEEN

WE DID IT

SHE SO RELIEVED TO NOT BE IN HELL ANYMORE

Wow okay, back at Radiant Garden

Benched Nort Buddies

Demyx: Backstabbing sounds like a lot of work actually :/

REALLY, Vexen? You’re doing the actual backstabby for atonement??

Xehaort this is what you get for splitting your soul 13 ways, you never agree on anything ever again

DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY DEMYX TIME? DID YOU??

IDK about that in this universe you probably could grow bodies on a body tree

Ienzo: TF is happening here

IT’S SURROGATE DAD

OH NO IENZO. OH NO :(((

*clutches chest* They reconcile…

ARE WE REALLY GETTING TO WAKE UP VEN NOW??

Aqua please don’t blame yourself, you were in hell

Castle Oblivion lookin’ good anyway

THAT WAS REALLY FUKKIN COOL

OMG I’m so happy…I love Land of Departure…

THERE HE IS

THERE’S THE BOY

Ohhhhhh noooooooo

The OTHER The Boy

Venty-Wenty, seriously??

PLAY AS THE QUEEN, PLAY AS THE QUEEN

THE POWER OF THE QUEEN COMPELS YOU

Sora: Can we get to the helping part now??

C’MON VEN WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY

It was in you aaaaaaall along

Lie down / Try not to cry / Cry a lot

SUNSHINE BOY IS HERE

FUCK YEAH

HE’S HERE THE SUNSHINE BOY IS HERE

And Vanyeetas just nopes out of there

Yes they are realizing all the things!!

*flails* ThE GOOD BOYS!!! ARE FRIENDS

Man yeah this is seven now, isn’t it

Reunite all the families!

I love…everyone…

Aqua: It’s okay you don’t remember you were like four years old

Aqua all like I’M FINDING ALL THESE CHILDREN I HELPED OUT I’M SO PROUD OF YOU ALL

Please let them girl bond now

Lea: Will y’all start paying attention to me now

Lea: THIS IS AN INSANE AMOUNT TO GET MEMORIZED   —YEAH NO SHIT

I’m just 100% full of delight at this bullshit

WE’LL JUST HAVE TO FIND EVERYONE ELSE

YES COUNT DONALD AND GOOFY

HO BOY that sounds like an indication to run around and do what’s needed before we jump into the start of endgame stuff

VEN…YOU ARE SO GOOD…

M E A N W H I L E

Pete: Please…stop making me dig up everything…

What’s in the booooooox

Oh Lea…still needs his two friends back :(

OHAI SAIX

Hey you took Xion’s ice cream

Man that must’ve been a hell of a week

Lea: I don’t need dumb tattoos anyway I CAN CRY ALL I WANT

I’m kind of worried about some things mentioned here tho

Man this is just cutscene city ain’t it

Hi again Repliku!

Riku: Don’t talk to me or my edgy son ever again

Get it, time to himself, HURR HURR

PAOPU FRUIT TIME??

LET THE KAIRI FIGHT PLZ

OKAY SO. I suspect this is my chance to go around and do stuff before things totally go to shit!

So that’s what I’m gonna do next! Level up, find lucky emblems, cook rat food, all that goodness

MORE COMMENTARY WILL BE…AT SOME POINT

[gamingofkenna]

KH3 Day 7

I only have three plot-related achievements to go, so I think I’m pretty close to the end....!

I do Not like flying around in this giant space cube. Free me.

the Keyblade Graveyard I’m very worried. The Sephiroths appear and start talking about trying to start another dark war, but for the purpose of the great creation that comes after the war or something like that. So OK, pretty standard ‘im gonna do the evil thing for the benefit of all’ bad guy BS.

There are a million enemies onscreen how is the CPU handling this.

So they find ‘Terra’ but he’s been possessed by the villains, and his hair literally turns white. I’m real sick of white hair being the villain marker. Look your hair color should say nothing about the character of your heart this is not a mechanic I’m here for.

Why are they still protecting Kairi when her whole shtick this game was that she wanted to be strong enough to fight for herself and protect Sora? I’m also pretty sick of the ‘cute tiny eternally-underaged-looking girl who must be protected while she stands there defenseless’ trope. Let her fight. She and Axel trained together idk what her background before this was but she should at least be about as ready to fight as he is?? Let me see Kairi’s keyblade. Let her kill the big bad.

So... we lose. There’s practically a gameover scene. And then we’re back up to the chess board, except they’re different chess players? They look like maybe the same players, but younger now, and there’s a ‘checkmate’ by mini-Sephiroth, but young Hanzo pulls his king back and says the game isn’t over.

The Final World.

OK so all of this is.... very meta and existential and dramatic. Can we talk about how the spikes in Sora’s hair make it look like he has cat ears on close ups?

I don’t... really understand what happened with Kairi there. Was she the star in the final world, and by talking to her there Sora already saved her? (Was it possible to get through the final world without talking to that star? I wanted to talk to ALL of the stars it was so weird and sad and interesting) Was she never really gone in the first place because Sora seeing them all get taken and assuming all was lost was really jumping the gun on his part?

Why are we... repeating this scene? Did we time travel? I think we time traveled.

HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK

OK we revived all the keyblades from the original keyblade weirders but these looks like usernames?? Like Earthbound ending level meta but where are these usernames drawn from??? Is this just meant to SEEM like you’re calling upon the community or do these actually come from the KH community, winning the day for us?? Either way that was SO COOL!

The X-man is trying to make the X-blade. My joke comes full circle.

So the whole picking everyone off one by one thing is very tedious yes, but ALSO very thematic and I love getting closure on all of these faceless nameless pions. Blue-haired-guy gets a happy ‘death’. Weird antennae girl gets a happy death. Sora reassures someone’s just going to get ‘recompleted’ whatever that means and it sounds VERY dystopian scifi.

ROXAS IS BACK THE BLACK CLOAK GOOD GUYS TRIO IS REUNITED!! Yay congrats y’all!!! The girl’s name is Xion apparently which is funny to me, both that it’s another X name, and because I finally realize where that weird Japanese manga name ‘Shion’ comes from.

Ugh don’t kidnap Kairi again this is getting so boring.

So Xion must be the girl Axel was seeing in Kairi when he was kidnapped and trapped with her on a deserted island by a crazy wizard. They do look a little similar? Not that there’s enough variety in face models for that to be important - two main characters are literally like identical twins or something.

Y’know this fight would be so much easier if Roxas and Xion didn’t look exactly like the bad guy I’m fighting.

Why do all the trios have one girl? I mean I know the answer is sexism but what’s the in-universe answer? Is one of the ‘guys’ really nonbinary and it’s now my job to figure out which one it is in every trio because that’s what I’m doing now.

Now we freed Terra!! I think that’s everyone we were trying to find? Except the girl who’s in Kairi, and now we’re also looking for Kairi again ugh. Look Kairi doesn’t need to be a butt-kicking hero of the day like Aqua is, but can you elevate her somewhat above ‘cute little girl who is always in trouble’?

Last big fight with the Sephiroths, and then we’re coming for you, Baldie.

Aaaaaand.... he killed Kairi? Or something? I guess we know that coming back from the dead is totally an option so.

And we are In! Kingdom! Hearts! I think!

OK wait actually X-man calls this ‘Scala ad Caelum’, the nexus where all the worlds are born. Literally the ladder to heaven. Probably the topmost level of the Inception dream - beyond this is literally only our actual reality.

I died like fifteen times in that fight.

So one of X-man’s moves was literally to pull the light out of Sora, turning him into the dark Sora form that I jump into whenever my health is low and I really don’t wanna die. I’m still not sure if I morally should be doing rage form or not.

TERRA HAS BEEN HANZO THIS WHOLE TIME??????

Holy friiiiiiiiiick ok so the chess game was a long time ago, like when the first Keyblade war was.... and Terra’s teacher along with X-man were there, or something, being the chess players, and grew up to be the Keyblade teachers - except X-man was all doomsday prophet and all that, and decided to do time travel shenanigans to try to reset the whole world. Which like, valid? But also Sora’s whole ‘thats not your call to make’ should be your FIRST thought when you decide the world sucks and you wanna reset it!!

Anyway, Hanzo/Equius/whatever his name is.... probably like died or something in a previous game, or maybe even before the series started, except death is fake and he lived on metaphysically to help the new kids stop his old chess-mate (lol) from resetting the world and hopefully now y’all can CHILL.

Is Kingdom Hearts like actually just the moon tho. Was this game Majora’s Mask the whole time.

“His heart and his mind are made up” yeah but like technically.... this whole game is made up....

No joke if I was even a hair more invested in this I would be crying, I would be sobbing about this ending sequence, everyone moving on and being happy and having friends and the cat-thing found not-Roxas and some girl gets put in the replica body I don’t know who she is - is she Namine?? - but Riku is really happy and I don’t know how y’all can stand this. They’re playing on the beach with old bad guys and and Kairi is there in the sunset and they’re holding hands and Sora is gone???? He pulls a Luke Skywalker and vanishes what is this???

There’s more after the credits - eyepatch from before shows up at the Keyblade graveyard, with the black box everyone was hunting for earlier and promptly forgot about. Four white-robed people with animal masks show up too.... I don’t get any of this, but it suggests there’s something bad still on the horizon (of course).

Then we’re back to the chess game and baby Hanzo says there’s a new game - baby X has seven pieces (four of them have animal tops like from the previous scene) and then Hanzo pulls out the king (representing Sora!) and says ‘Just watch’!! So??? New series???

OK and I didn’t get enough hidden mickeys to unlock the secret ending to brb while I do that.

OK SO THE SECRET ENDING IS JUST AN AD FOR THE NEXT GAME.

I would assume at least - I actually looked up the phrase and apparently it’s nonsense that’s at the end of all the games so that’s nothing - but we see Sora, alive, and he and Riku are in the Verum Rex world, so I’m guessing.... that means something? There’s more I guess is what it means.

OK it’s midnight, I’m spending three more bucks just to sleep and turn this game in tomorrow, I’m posting this tonight and I’ll make a proper post-game tomorrow.