#riker you ass
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Whoa there Riker that was one HELL of a massive micro aggression
Geordi is all “what the hell… did he just do that??”
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#tf2#team fortress two#tf2 sniper#tf2 demoman#the refrence i used for this is that pic of data and riker smoking weed#originally i was gonna have pyro next 2 sniper because you KNOW they could do some sick ass smoke tricks with that mask#but i changed 2 demo bcause pyros face wasnt coming out right and it was killing me#swordvan#fester posts
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Y'all I love my Riker man but I live in the humid south.
Now I love this guy :
#jonathan frakes#commander riker#star trek#poster#tng#funny#hot and humid south#got me a big ass fan today and im in love again....#i made a funny#who loves you riker baby#it was worth it tngbabe
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i love playing with names so much. any story or setting where theres a deliberate use of names and differing terms of address and you can really read into a characters choices and it says so much is the Good Fucking Shit
#examples include all the name shit going on in stuff like The Untamed#bc ive been rewatching a fucking ton of fmvs and basically all of them pull out the one time they both use their full courtesy names#because its a moment that kicks ass. is dramatic. and is MEANINGFUL to the relationship right#bc you can contrast it with the fact that wwx basically never calls him lwj. he gets very familiar very fast#other examples include a lot of sows around Boats and strict hierarchies bc then youve got a chain of command#theres episodes of tng that play with it a bit. id point to Rascals as a really really funny example of name play#bc you get picard in a 10yos body still referring to riker the same way he would as his commanding officer#hence 'hes my number 1 dad' funniest shit. i love that episode#not every ep is consistent on that bc differing writers deploy names differently#but you'll get contrasts where eg riker generally calls people their first names and picard uses surnames#so riker will say 'geordi' and picard will say 'mr laforge'. again not consistently but it does happen#boat media loves this shit bc again chain of command. its often a great demarcator of a public to a private scene#such as in Hornblower where most of the time he is 'Mr Hornblower' but in private scenes hes Horatio#and he doesnt have a Lot of those and its not super consistent but you know it when its happening#i love names. its why i have like 15 of them
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caveat: all trek is beautiful, this is in no way a better/worse thing
i joke that one of the biggest problems I have with tng characterization is the 'we need to give a character the Bad Opinion' phenomena.
an episode wants to explore a moral quandry through plot, but for that to work, they usually need to Give A Character The Bad Opinion– it's often Geordi, or Riker, or Worf who take a stance that's less generous, more defensive, or just plain wrong-through-misunderstanding. now this does give the episode narrative structure, where the character with the Better Opinion and the Bad Opinion can have interpersonal conflict, and then this can resolve in a nuanced understanding. I get it. it's basic plot construction. but this also gives these Bad Opinion prone characters some wildly uneven characterization over the show's run.
I've been rewatching some ds9 episodes (I only just finished my first watchthrough last month) and I've realized that ds9 avoids this issue by simply having so many more characters who are not good people.
It's weird when they write Geordi being unnecessarily stubborn and easily-annoyed towards Scotty, or Riker being a shouty hard-ass to Barkley– because both of these characters are fundamentally good people who we need to root for. It's weird to see them being complete dickbags above and beyond what seems congruous to their characterization, when the whole point of the show is that the crew of the Enterprise is flawed but fundamentally equipped to carry out their mission.
By contrast, it makes perfect sense that Garak would be the one to try and exterminate the Founders instead of finding an ethical peace. It makes perfect sense for Quark to position himself on the side of whatever benefits his business most, even if it's horrific. None of this feels incongruous with who they are throughout the rest of the show– because their function as characters simply doesn't depend on you rooting for them the way you want to root for tng characters.
just thinking a lot of thoughts about this horrible satellite zoo of freaks and bad people who still deserve community. thinking a lot about how you don't have to be good to have a home.
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Commander Riker, could you not put your WHOLE ASS on the touchscreen...
Science consoles
Communications and Weapons consoles
Engineering consoles (There’s a chair right there! You touched it while going to the console!)
It’s just that other people use these consoles all the time, and there’s also risk of you accidentally pushing buttons with your ass. If you could abide by this rule, that would be great, thank you.
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I just realized yet another reason why I love the "This is down. Down is good. This is up. Up is no," Data says in stng. In my brain, I keep half-expecting him to end the phrase with up is bad. For a split second, every time I watch this scene, a part of my brain hears that something is good, then, when being presented with another thing that is not the good thing, it assumes that it will be described to me as bad, because it is depicted as the antagonist to the good thing.
Data doesn't say it is bad, because it isn't. Spot being on the desk can lead to things getting knocked over, console buttons being pushed, or maybe even Spot getting thrown across the room if the ship gets tossed around (which nEveR haPpeNs). The computer is probably smart enough to know not to do anything commanded by those little toe beans. I saw a post about how Riker sits on the consoles all the time but that the computer probably knows the difference between hands purposefully pushing buttons and a butt dial. Spot's pawprints, much like Riker's ass, are logged in the computer's system only as things to not take orders from.
I got off track (which nEveR haPpeNs). I love that Data understands that it is illogical unreasonable to assume Spot understands what is and is not a preferable action. Therefore, he communicates it to him as best he can. But he also understands that there is nothing actually wrong with Spot being on the console, at least not all the time. It's an inconvenience and, perhaps, occasionally, a potential hazard. Ultimately, it is something Data wants Spot to stop doing, but not something he will say is bad, because, at least in this case, trying to convince someone something is bad is a tactic to get someone to feel guilty about doing something. Saying it "is no," at least in the way Data does it, makes it feel much more truthful because it is saying "I have a reason for asking you not to do this," even if the reason is as simple as "I don't want you to," instead of "Here's a magic word with a vague and interchangeable meaning that I can use to keep you from finding my real reasons.
I guess what I'm saying is, I want Data to be my dad.
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Do you have first time sleeping togther/hooking up headcanons for TNG characters? I was about to be like 'I'd love in particular to hear about...' but then listed about half the TNG cast (of multiple genders, but feel free to stick to male characters if you want) because I am exceptionally thirsty lol. I do personally have a strong preference for top!M!reader, but go with what's in your heart
First Time With the TNG Boys! || Star Trek TNG x Top!M!Reader +18
(Worf, Data, Will, Picard, Geordi, Lore, Q)
Worf
Boy you'll have to WORK to top Worf. Even if you are bigger than him (somehow?? mans is 6'3" and jacked). He'd love the wrestle for domination and how you pin him down and kiss the back of his neck as you taunt him playfully.
He's into biting, fighting as foreplay, and brat taming/authority. Although, if he's bottoming, he likes following directions and being praised for being a good soldier.
Bite this mf as he's jerking off, praise him for looking so stunning, Tell him he's the best you've ever fucked by far and he'll blow the biggest load of your life.
Data
Would let you top if you asked him, honestly. He's never been with another man before and the logging of information would be rather useful.
Data would enjoy you praising him, asking for consent multiple times, and generally treating him gently and kindly. He's not the rough and tumble type, that would require a minimum 3 more days of research and an "uncomfortable" talk with Troi about BDSM and the psycho-sexual aspects of it.
CALL. THIS. MAN. BEAUTIFUL. He will not know what to do with himself as you fuck him slowly and praise him for being the most amazing man on the Enterprise.
William Riker
Would be a little hesitant to let you top, but would eventually say to hell with fear and let you hit.
Has a bit of a fear of "liking it too much", because even in the far future, internalized homophobia is still a thing. Especially for a "ladies' man" like Riker. He's not too comfortable with his sexuality just yet.
Tell him he's doing good, give him open communication and a place to state his worries, and he'll be screaming your name before you're halfway inside.
Picard
Now this man is hesitant taking it up the ass- not only because he's old an worried about being sore, but was around during the pre-crackdown of homophobia in the starship workplace, when subtle homophobia was commonplace. He's worried about what the other crew will think of him if they found out about your activities together.
Assurance goes a long way with Picard, also directing him with a massive amount of respect and understanding. (he'll never tell you this, but calling him "sir" really gets him going.)
Geordi
Honestly? the chillest of them all when you ask to top your first time together. like genuine "Yeah sure, that's fine". And it's obvious this isn't his first bottom rodeo.
Likes when you dirty talk to him tbh, it's a real engine-revver when you whisper in his ear that fucking him is all you've been thinking about for weeks.
Geordi especially likes hearing about your fantasies that involve him- tell him your wet dreams!! Please!!
Lore
This man is a total slut for being degraded/domineered. I mean seriously, look at that lil guy! He's a brat just begging to be tamed!
Push him around, show him who's boss, and roleplay about being a cop and a roguish, sassy criminal.
Despite his secret obsession with being used like a fucktoy, Lore also loves being worshipped and praised on a genuine level- and on a superficial one too, to set the record straight.
Q
Q is the most excited to bottom, offering his ass at a moment's notice the second you suggest topping for your first time together.
Granted, he has no idea what he's doing, so you'd have to guide him. He likes being teased and being squirmy, so watch out for that.
What really gets Q off is the illusion of being restrained. Cuffs, ropes, anything- even you pressing him into the mattress is enough to really get Q moaning about how a "big strong human" feels so good inside him.
#star trek x reader#tng x reader#star trek tng x reader#worf x reader#data x reader#lore x reader#geordi la forge x reader#picard x reader#q x reader#william riker x reader#will riker#captain picard#jean luc picard#worf#data soong#lore soong#lore star trek#q star trek#prettyboy pistol
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HI I JUST FINISHED TNG AND AM AUTISTIC I NEED TO TALK (warning long ass post, ramblings)
Q in his stupid fucking judge outfit???? Oh my god i love him so much?? And like?? I dont even think he wanted to put picard on trial at the end he says it was the continuums orders so did he even want to do that too him? Who knows!! We do know hes gay as shit though oh my god. I love him.
The past, the Encounter At Farpoint, picard yelling for Q on the bridge and everyone probably thinking hes insane. Picard not telling any of them whats going on, even though it doesnt affect the other timelines. Tasha Yar???? Hi Tasha!!!!!! Worf with his old sash, the old uniforms, the shitty dress deanna wore in the first episode (it slayed), data being. So autistic. Liek actually hold on can i talk about tha
This episode, with all its converging timelines, really shows how data grows- not just as a character just in general, as the years go by on the ship, he starts understanding idioms, somewhat. He. He gets more human. He really does. His movements more fluid, hes smarter. He really does grow, something about his neural net constantly evolving or something. Oh my god.
The shitty future?? Worf liking Deanna Romantically Cannon??? Riker was still holding on to the relationship this whole time?? (I never noticed really. Im. Autistic.) PICARD AND CRUSHER GOT MARRIED. And then divorced BUT STILL. Picard back on earth?? Tending to what i can only assume to be grape plants or something, like his brother. Data teaches at Cambridge. He has grey hair, thinks it makes him more distinguished. Geordi has eyes! Like in two different timelines he has eyes.
Thats another thing actually, like i could have sworn at least in the earlier seasons, he didnt want. Eyes? I thought?? But like. It seems like a minor Thing, cause it showed up in that one Riker Gets Kidnapped By A Child Alien Because Its Lonely episode. And again here, and probably other places i can't remember because ive consumed all of tng in 2 months.
The present. I dont have shit to say about that actually. It sure is season 7.
OH MY GOD THE BEGINNING OF THW EPISODE BEFORE Q REAVEALS HIMSELF?? How we dont know if he Is travelling through time or if hes Going Senile. The cuts?? I mean the cuts through the whole episode is so good the cinematography in general!!!! Oh my god. The close ups, the panning, THE ACTING?? TASHA YAR??? EARLY WORF? OLD WORF? I like worf. GEORDI? DATA???? love brett spiner.
And i mean who remembers the judge scene from the first episode at this point? The foreshadowing with the jury(?)/audience(?) i didnt even. Realize until they put Picard on the stand again.
DEANNA BEING FUCKING DEAD IN THE FUTURE HELLO?????????????
Oh my god but the end scene. The end shot of the poker game? Imagine seeing the future, all your friends, drifted apart, tense at each other with worf and riker. Seeing that. And then coming back to reality, to Your Time. And seeing your friends as they are right then. Why didnt picard join them for poker?
No like actually. Did. Did he have a reason for that? Some like, weird captain thing? Or like. Some weird barrier wall thing? Thing where he feels like he should isolate himself.
But the point is, he joins his friends for some poker, i dont think he had probably played poker in years. Its just. Amazing.
You know. I think this is one of the first times ive seen her again and not cried, which is progress because every other time it was. Not great.
But now that tngs over
Hey does tumblr have a word limit? We're about to find out.
But now that tngs over, theres still a lot i have to ask. Like why the fuck did they do that to wesley? Do we see wesley again? Is still dont know who b-4 is. Whats Ro doing now? Is she good? Do we see her again? Does she know kira? Do ro and kira meet? Probably not actually. Itd probably be cool though. Do worf and deanna get married? Please. I ne- oh wait no they cant bc worf has a thing with jadzia at some point. What the fuck is up with worf and jadzia? And also where is alexander now? When does worf join ds9? Probably season 3 idk. Or Barclay? Cheif o'brien? Cause the show ran concurrently for a bit. WHY DONR WORF AND DEANNA GET MARRIED THEYRE LIKE PERFECT???? What the fuck is that guy with the ears damar? Gamar? I think its damar? Idk. Why he look like that? IS RO GOING TO DIE??
Oh hey i get to meet sisko, hes cool. He gets like visions or some shit. Q doesnt like him i think "picard never hit me ):" "im not picard."
Q and Quark. Odo and Q. Do we get to see the cunty judge outfit again? Why does he have a mustache when hes boxing sisko or whatever?
OH I GET TO SEE FUCK ASS DUKAT THEOW DARTS AT HIM EVIL. Fun.
Okay yeah im done
#does anyone want to read this?#ramblings#eh ill tag it just incase#star trek#star trek tng#star trek the next generation#q star trek#star trek ds9#data#data tng
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My redneck neighbor Doug on 'Into the Breach'
Sorry, been busy with work and life and so has Doug.
Now, let's get onto the next episode, 'Into the Breach'.
CW: Pretty chill, by Doug's standards.
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Episode 13: ''Johnny Cash would be Proud''
Welp, sometimes, you gotta go where you’re wanted. And for Little Orphan Blondie, she’s back at the Museum of Science and Industry, now doing shitty puzzles with the Jedi babies. I really do hope Gun Safety Muppet sat on one of his own guns after that bullshit, hate that blue puppet fucker.
At least the little pink girl got to keep her souvenir doll from the gift shop that Stepsister Beth . I hope these babies are going around and stealing from the storage. I would.
Church Lady left these guys in a shitty parking lot. Ha! Time waits for no man and she’s got a potluck with Sassy Park Ranger to prep for.
Aw hell yeah! My boy Toaster Strudel showing up in a stolen work van. And Daddy Warcrimes and his boyfriend MBA Rob are wondering if there’s yet another sobbing family stuffed in the trunk they can ransom once they cross the border. Never change, you two.
God MBA Rob looks and TALKS just like my asshole nephew. Ugh. “Do you think I’m lying?” “Yes!”
Wow, Daddy Warcrimes and Julio ain’t taking no one’s shit. My boys!
Toaster Strudel even went into the Empire’s dumpster and yanked out an imperial uniform and forcing MBA Rob’s scruffy ass into it. Or maybe he hooked up with one and stole his clothes. Didn’t take Toaster Strudel for that but hey I don’t judge, that’s for Jesus and your God to do now ya know.
(“Wait, that Echo likes dudes?”
“No, that he steals from people he’s banged. Come on now Meat Muffin, why you gotta be prejudiced and stuff, we got laws now, ain’t you seen Brokeback Mountain?”)
Oh, Stepsister Beth is on the struggle bus. Come ON, Stepsister Beth, start chatting with some of those other clones can get these babies out of here! Why all the male scientists got them windowless van mustaches?
Scientist with bangs is a real bitch. Don’t like her.
Look at Little Orphan Blondie plotting her way out of the Museum of Science and Industry!
Oooh my boys going all Johnny Cash with the BLACK! Love it! And MBA Rob trimmed his ass down, looks like My Wife’s First Love in Star Trek, gotta give it to him, good look.
(“I’m assuming that’s Will Riker?”
“Yeah, Captain Picard’s Number 1.”
“Why not call him Riker since you know who he is?”
“My wife told me I’m not allowed.”
“....I’m not asking anymore.”)
MBA Rob’s super power is being a wild asshole. Ya know, that’s not always a bad thing. Man, he’s good at this. Ah, there’s Daddy Rambo shooting Stormtrooper dingbats and Toaster Strudel doing a thing.
There’s Julio checking out the ladies on his cell phone. Wonder which lady he’s texting, lay that pipe where you can, brother.
Is Toaster Strudel wearing jeans? Oh who cares–look at my boy kicking ass! Being all 007! Man, hope Alex-from-Manitoba is watching from heaven, proud of his boy!
(Alex-from-Manitoba is Fives?!)
Julio fires up the stolen work truck, and off they go! Will they make it? Will they make it?! Come on, Daddy Rambo! Turn on some Folsom Prison Blues, you got this!
Even Daddy Warcrimes knows that Toaster Strudel’s on it. No wonder they gotta sideline Toaster Strudel like this, when he comes on shift everything works. Dang.
Woah! There they go! My boys! And Little Orphan Blondie! Woah!
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Tagging my Cajun neighbor's fans! @skellymom @megmca @amalthiaph @cdblake1565 @sued134 @isthereanechoinhere96
#tbb#cloneforce99#the bad batch#thebadbatch#redneck doug#cajun doug#doug watches star wars#the bad batch spoilers#star wars tv#the bad batch season 3 spoilers#tbb spoilers season 3#the bad batch season 3#tbb rampart#tbb s3#toaster strudel!
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Thomas Riker’s best moment is undoubtedly and unquestionably the fake sideburns but I have to say a close second was when he needed to find an excuse to push miles away so he just went full cunt and picked the worlds vaguest fight. Literally hit his ass with a “you know what you did!” He was seconds away from tossing his drink in miles’ face real housewives style
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star trek update time. i realized when i went to type updates on enterprise that i never posted my notes about the 4th and final tng film so that's what this post is
first of all, this move was in fact bad, but the most hilarious part of it was trying to convince us that tom hardy was sir patrick stewart's clone. i'm a little bit face blind and even EYE can see the difference there
secondly, the planet remus introduced so much confusion. why are the alien planets naming themselves after earth mythology? what is a reman? this was the only thing i really felt curious about and they never explained ANYTHING
audible reaction when picard came onscreen the first time. perfectly synchronized cries of "gross!" we're professional haters. luckily, we don't have to see him again until picard. i won't miss him.
when he told data to shut up at the wedding toast :( WHY DOES PICARD HATE AUTISTIC PEOPLE
we did use the mexico filter in this movie. really something.
it's always funny when we find a disembodied data head and despite my low opinion of tng i do appreciate that they jumped on that opportunity whenever possible
"why is your head shiny" also good. get his ass
riker's beard is back. thank god.
WEPT when captain janeway showed up. it should have been the janeway movie. i wanted to know everything about how she was doing!!!
giving data's memories to some random robot we found on the ground is so stupid. what if that guy is lore. what if he's rigged to blow
"she's a predator!!" i don't remember what this means
the viceroy looks like nosferatu
BALD TOM HARDY IS SO FUNNY. bald on bald violence. solas ass looking motherfucker. the clone reveal makes total sense when you consider tom hardy is also bald. thats the big similarity. don't worry about the lucious lips on tom hard picard lost them because of a lifetime of diplomacy or whatever. even his hs pic was bald
sexism against deanna was rampant in this movie as always. picard as like hey can you get mind raped again for us? like in the line of duty? fuck off
data licking that nasty shit like connor dbh. please.
"romulans aren't women" i love tng. just kidding, i don't
tom hardy freeing slaves like solas lol. this movie is way more fun when you pretend its dragon age
speaking of, that whole telepathic assault bit with the sex scene was wretched and vile but it was VERY rook and solas
she was so hot in her nightgown by the way. please free her but she was so hot
her revenge was also SO hot. in a better movie all the sexist stuff would have been worth it for that. just once she deserves to fight back. it was so cathartic.
i miss geordi's visor. the blue eyes are racist
they mentioned the borg in this movie and it made me miss 7
"life is meaningless if you're still alive" i also don't remember what this means
"tom hardy neck bad" i don't remember this either but i believe me
data neck pinch! i also miss spock
the little cgi squirrel or whatever was so cute. i had to check doesthedogdie
picard little spooning in this gd movie. hey also why is he cheating on beverly again didn't they get together fr in the tng finale? i hate him
tom hardy went out so sexy. impaled himself on that spear. this is the worst movie ever made and he still put his pussy into it
the scene where data had to shut down that other data :( that genuinely got me, like he's so lonely
data's princess leia moment...i can't believe they killed him fr. i know he's in picard so i was shocked when they ended the movie w him still dead
also, wasn't this movie about putting down a slave rebellion? because tom hardy was helping free slaves? granted i wasn't paying a lot of attention but captain picard, what the fuck?
also, picard being sad while geordi has to work...geordi was his bestie you bitch!!
my final note here is "WORD CUCK CHAIR" which i think i typed after worf watched riker and deanna hold hands. never forget that they dated. also, someone needs to ask him about his dead wife.
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Rewatching TNG's "The Icarus Factor," and I genuinely forgot how much of a dick Riker's dad is.
I think he might actually be one of the worst dads in Trek, and I know how high of a bar that is.
Riker's dad literally shows up after 15 years and has the stone-cold AUDACITY to show up and expect Will to not only give him the time of day, but to act like their relationship is fine actually.
Like he actually tells Will TO HIS FACE "I stuck it out for 13 years. If that's not good enough, that's too bad." Like wow man.
He's a raging asshole and I really have no idea why the narrative and some of the characters are treating Will like the unreasonable one. Pulaski actually told Will to his face to "jettison the emotional baggage" like damn fuck you lady.
And like. My relationship with my dad is - shall we say - complex. But hot damn even my dad at least has the emotional maturity to acknowledge the way he treated us wasn't great. It was all of once and he's never said it again, but he did in fact say it.
But Riker's dad is like "hey son it's been 15 years, I'm doing great. Heard cool things about you, btw your ex is a smoke show." In fairness, he makes the remark about Troi to her face instead of Will's, but I feel like that's worse?
Though I love how Pulaski is confronting Riker's dad over him and Will having an anbo-jytsu match instead of y'know. Abandoning his son. As a teen. But yeah, let's focus on how two grown men are gonna beat each other with sticks.
Like. No one, not even Troi, has said to Will "hey, I'm sorry your dad is a giant dickwad who ditched you when you were a kid. That sucks." Instead everyone is like "wow fathers and sons are weird."
And yeah, okay, Riker's dad was grieving the death of his wife while trying to raise a son. But he's still an absolute goon of a man who abandoned his son and has the gall to act like he's the injured party somehow.
And then they have one half-assed heart-to-heart and apparently it's fine now?
#like what even was this episode#also worf needed someone to watch him do klingon stuff#couldn't even focus on klingon stuff when i was too entranced by breathtakingly bad family dynamics#star trek#star trek tng#will riker#will riker's dad is awful#also forgot it was father's day this weekend so i guess now this review is timely or something#accidental relevance wee
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The best episode of TNG is Conundrum cuz it's the only episode I can think of where Riker gets to sub bottom. He is truly verse and switch but everyone wants him to top 24/7, and usually want it vanilla or want him to dom. Which he enjoys. But also sometimes it's nice to get your ass stretched out by the most beautiful woman in the universe while she makes fun of you for being so easily turned into a eager to please, moaning, mess
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Swag 1: Swag Town by L.S. Riker
Swag 1 Swag Town by L.S. Riker 1992, St. Martin
Near future America in decline - a new scenario to me, a combination of targeted assassinations of economic figures and financial terrorism decimates America's economy, with foreign companies buying up everything and turning the States into a third world country.
Swag (nickname from the phrase Scientific Wild Ass Guess) is a former cop turned hired gun who has a bodyguard client killed in front of him, dragging him into a plot to control New York's criminal underworld. Swag's role in the plot is a little cloudy, and you could tell the author had some background into finance and economics that they didn't mind sharing at length.
Like a lot of detective novels, Swag mainly just stumbles around with people either dumping exposition or trying to kill him, but the action scenes are some of the best I've read.
From Amazon
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It's time for another ADHD-fueled ramble! This one is about Homestuck, kind of. Saw a post about someone never reading it in spite of being a tumblr oldie, and that lead to some introspective reminiscing. Maybe it's interesting, maybe it isn't.
I reckon a lot of folks who read Homestuck were kind of peer-pressured into it. I was no exception, though the pressure applied was relatively passive. And if my memory serves me, I started reading Homestuck on MS Paint Adventures before I was a regular tumblr user... sometime in 2011, I think? The year I took off between grad school year 1 and 2, or maybe just slightly before that...
Anyways, around that time I noticed most of my Silent Hill fan art buddies on deviantArt suddenly switched to drawing trolls pretty much non-stop out of the blue.
I felt confused, and kinda left out. I was already feeling like being so overwhelmingly distracted by grad school had permanently damaged my connection to those friends...
So in kind of a last ditch effort to not lose yet another friend group, I dove headfirst into the webcomic, hoping to understand why the steady stream of old man yaoi had been replaced by weird preteen aliens.
If you've read the majority of Homestuck, you know what an effort that was. Its first few chapters are incredibly long and slow paced. By the time I even caught up to the trolls actually being visually introduced, I think my SH-turned-HS friends had moved on to something else entirely. :B
(Later I'd learn that the majority of HS fans during the height of it's popularity were, uh, kinda "fake fans". In that they skipped directly to the troll chapters. :B)
Granted, I had taken the longest possible road to catch up with MS Paint Adventures. When it comes to comics, any comic, I am a completionist. Maybe it's the anxiety from feeling like I'm always missing out on CONTEXT due to ADHD... My brain is broken and I must read everything in chronological release order, so that nothing is missed. (This is a big reason I never got into superhero comics.)
Homestuck was only the current series on MSPA, there were several other completed or abandoned series as well. So I started at what seemed like the very beginning, with Jailbreak. By the time I was done with Problem Sleuth I was very hooked on the throwback to text-based adventure games meets forum shenanigans baked into a comic formula.
Homestuck itself was delightful, from an adventure game mechanics perspective. It had all the frustrating backtracking and plodding story of a classic hardcore adventure, as well as the wild traditional-format-breaking jankiness of the experimental web comics imagined in Scott McCloud's "troubled middle child*," Reinventing Comics. (*as he described the book to me when I asked him to sign my copy lol)
No wonder so many readers skipped straight to the troll chapters! You really had to have a very specific string of incredibly niche, nerdy interests in order to appreciate the slow-burn of the chapters leading up to the trolls... and apparently that's exactly what I had.
Like, to the point that it took me a long ass time to warm up to the trolls at all. Maybe it was because I was an older reader than the typical HS fan and had actually experienced more eras of the internet, but the trolls were just as annoying as the real life types of internet trolls they were based on.
I don't think I started to actually like any of them until the second set of trolls were introduced. The generational conflicts between old-internet and then-current types of trolling was fascinating and honestly hilarious.
By the time I was finally caught up, the comic was close to it's first ending. (And in my opinion, only ending. As I didn't bother checking in with Hussie's later attempts to rekindle the series.)
Having read through everything on MSPA that came before Homestuck, as well as stumbling into Andrew Hussie's even older comics, blog posts and Picard/Riker ST:TNG fan edits on youtube, I had built up maybe an unrealistic hope for the future of MSPA: I was excited for the next comic project to come once Homestuck was finished.
What a big assumption! I don't think anyone would have an easy time just moving on to "the next project" after making something that had garnered as big of a reaction as Homestuck did. So watching Hussie spiral into milking HS for all he could really shouldn't have surprised me.
In an ideal world, artists, writers, creators in general would be able to just move on from project to project. Creation to creation to creation. But we're not machines, and none of us exist in a vacuum. We need to survive somehow, and our feelings of importance and self worth can get so dangerously tangled up with the reaction others have to our work.
Some may find success and never work again. Some may find success and seek to recapture that high for the rest of their life. Some will never find success and give up creating altogether. Who am I to judge or hope for anything from any creator? I'm barely holding on by the whites of my knuckles and the skin of my teeth myself.
But part of me still grieves for the "Next MS Paint Adventures Project" I made up in my head. Something that scratched the itch for interactive comics in new and exciting ways. With brand new characters, settings and bizarre lingo to get used to. There would be references to prior projects, just as HS was peppered with references to Problem Sleuth and the other MSPAs, but on the whole it would be a self-contained work, as it's predecessors were. Another volume for the abstract digital bookshelf.
MS Paint Adventures is dead, the site is just Homestuck now. Flash, the format that made up the very backbone of the comic, is dead and banished. I haven't chatted with most of my old dA buddies in over a decade. We all move on, or don't, in one way or another.
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