#right time wrong vision
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One of the probable reasons as to why Kaeya didn't arrive on time for Crepus and Diluc when they were attacked was because he, and the knights with him, had no vision, and thus, cannot use a teleport waypoint.
Him receiving his cryo vision when he was supposed to get scorched by Diluc was genuinely the biggest slap to the face given to him by Celestia. It arrived just in time to save HIM.
Even now, the vision only heals and shields him alone as a manifestation of his desire to keep living from that fight... but he can't use it to help others.
#ngl this description was a shock to see purely coz wtf were inazuma vision bearers doing lmao#unless they didnt want to leave their countrymen alone while the decree was still up#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yeah idk what else to say about it other than the fact that Kaeya's vision is the biggest middle finger from celestia#celestia: lol f this kid specifically. he did nothing wrong but his fam sure did#1 more thing but do they have to approach a teleport waypoint to use it?#im assuming they do purely coz they dont memorize where all the other waypoints are#ngl this opens up to other ideas like cyno tighnari and collei travelling instead of teleporting is coz nari hasnt been to mond#same with others taking a boat coz they havent encountered that waypoint yet#i guess that explains things for most inazuma vision bearers actually :O they havent left the nation so they cant unlock the other waypoints#wow i have a lot of thoughts here in the tags yet again. kaeyachi with the tags that can be a whole entire post instead.#right back to kaeyangst but seriously what a wicked timing. him receiving it too late to prevent everything#him also receiving it just in time to let him continue living his life full of lies...(his own words not mine)#did he start learning how to use it immediately? did he fear its usage because it meant celestia was watching him?#did he stare at it in betrayal? throw it off a cliff? hide it in his drawers?#so many thoughts hnghh
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After forty-five minutes of no word, the three of them finally decide that someone should go check on Tango. Normally, Xisuma would have reluctantly advocated for just starting without him—it’s Tango, he’d probably gotten caught up in Decked Out work, he’d apologize and laugh it off later and wouldn’t change—but he’d seemed so genuinely excited this time. He’d rambled back at them the moment Etho had invited him to join in on the wither-mining. He’d promised he’d try to show up. He’d checked the time more than once.
It’s been a while since most of the hermits had seen Tango outside of his fortress. Or spoken to him for more than about twenty minutes if their name wasn’t “Zedaph”. Or—it’s been a while. That man is working himself to death, Xisuma swears.
(It’s… not Tango’s fault, Xisuma tells himself. He’d meant to have more done by now. The whole Empires fiasco had put a damper on that. Tango’s always been the sort to fixate a little on his latest project. Besides, all of the Hermits get caught up. It’s normal to occasionally go a week or two without talking to anyone else. It’s just that it’s starting to hurt a little, to reach out and get...)
(Xisuma will make up a better excuse. It’s why he volunteered to go check on him. Save Tango and Etho a little heartache.)
(Tango had been really excited—but so had Etho.)
It’s a short enough elytra flight to the Deep Frost Citadel. Xisuma takes a deep breath. He’ll probably have to locate Tango and convince him to come up from the outside. That place is a death trap already to half the server, and Tango’s normally in the maintenance tunnels instead of the main body of the cave, which are a death trap in a unique “largely unfit for habitation by anything breathing” way that Tango seems to be the only one who knows how to navigate. He’ll make sure he’s okay, and then…
Xisuma‘a thoughts come to a pause as he approaches. There’s someone else at the Citadel, standing near the base of the hill, just past where the borders of Tango’s snowy base fade into the grassland.
A few minutes of approach later, and it becomes clear it’s Tango. He’s standing oddly, his feet braced and arms unsteadily placed forward like he’s worried he might fall. When Xisuma lights another rocket, he looks up in Xisuma’s direction, but before really catching sight of Xisuma, he turns around and winces, rubbing his eyes repeatedly.
“Hello,” Xisuma says as he lands. Tango turns to—not quite look at him? Tango is looking in the direction of Xisuma, certainly, but isn’t quite looking at Xisuma’s face. Maybe there’s too much glare in Xisuma’s visor today?
“Oh, hey X! How’s it hangin’?” Tango says.
“Oh, you know, I was just here to check on you. You’re a bit late to our demonstration.”
“What?” Tango says. “It’s—of course it has.”
“Did you get caught up?” Xisuma asks. He tries very hard not to sound disappointed.
“I—yeah,” Tango says. “Sorry, I swear I set an alarm, but if you’re here I must be later than I thought.”
“Probably nearly an hour by now.”
“I’ve been—a whole hour? Feels like longer,” mumbles Tango.
“The others agreed to wait if you’re coming, and you’re already outside,” Xisuma says. “We can get over there in a few minutes. It’s not too late. Put on your elytra and—“
“No!” yelps Tango, stepping back, stumbling, and then, eyes wide, looking around like he’s trying to find something. “I mean, uh. Not used to open-air flying right now. I was planning on taking the nether but I ran out of fireproof potions and don’t have the blaze rods to make more, so here I am. I promise I didn’t mean to be late, I just…”
Xisuma has no idea where to start. But. “Tango, you built the nether hub? You know you don’t need fireproof potions to get to the Ancient City we’re using.”
“Haha, yeah,” Tango says, and doesn’t elaborate.
“So I guess you were going to the shopping district, to get more blaze rods and their portal?” Xisuma says.
“Yeah, uh, then I realized I, uh, don’t. Remember how to get there,” Tango says. “And, well, you know how it is. Even when you have permission to leave it’s still kind of daunting!”
His voice goes high and a little squeaky. His eyes, Xisuma realizes, have had a sort of wild fear to them since Xisuma first suggested stepping further than where he’s standing. If Tango had pupils, Xisuma imagines they’d probably be darting. The rest of his facial expression does the work well enough.
Xisuma really doesn’t know where to start.
“And you’ve been stuck here for… nearly an hour?” Xisuma says.
“Yeah. Man, I got permission to leave and everything,” Tango says again, which, okay, very concerning phrasing, Xisuma’s just going to put that away for the time being though, because there are a lot of other things to unpack here. “And like, I wanted to see the Withers and a Warden fight! Who would win, right?”
He still hasn’t moved. As Xisuma’s talked, he’s gotten closer to looking Xisuma in the eyes, but it’s more like he’s very confidently looking at Xisuma’s chin. He keeps squinting and blinking when his eyes aren’t wide with a wild, lost sort of panic.
He’s also still rambling.
“Probably for the best I don’t leave, though. I mean, I held you all up, I’d hate to hold it up further because I got caught up. I can just go back; best to keep doing my duty after all. Sorry about that!”
Tango turns back towards his base, as though making that excuse was the excuse he needed to go back towards safer ground. Maybe another time, Xisuma would have let that be, but the thing is, Tango and Etho had both been so excited, and Xisuma can hear the disappointment in Tango’s voice. He doesn’t want to be making this excuse either. Xisuma has no idea what, but something’s wrong.
(Well, Xisuma has some idea, but while he may be a derp, he’s pretty sure it’s rude to ask someone whether they’ve gone blind, developed agoraphobia, gotten possessed, or multiple of those things at the same time. If someone doesn’t bring it up it’s not Xisuma’s business, right? Right.)
(He’ll just…)
“…no, we want to do this with you,” Xisuma says. “Do you need help getting to the cave we’re doing it in?”
Xisuma can see Tango warring between the pride that stops him from asking for help and whatever it is that had paralyzed him the moment he’d tried to step past his base’s borders. He can see Tango war between how easy it would be to claim he didn’t have time and how much he’d wanted to see the wither mining.
“It’s all going to be underground?” he says.
Weird question. File that away. “Yep! Inside an ancient city!”
“And I got permission to leave,” mutters Tango. “So it’s going to be fine once I actually get there.”
“I can even grab some fireproof potions from Cub’s shop when we’re done,” wheedles Xisuma.
“…fine. Lead the way. Uh, and, if you could hold my hand. It’s… very hard to know where I am outside of my base when it’s so bright,” Tango says, voice a little small, and okay, so a mix of all three. Xisuma really should pry, but he’s got what he came here for, and it’s not really his business, is it? He’s sure Tango’ll work it out in the end. He’s a smart guy.
“Gladly, my friend. Let’s go die to withers sixty times.”
Tango laughs shakily. “Yes, let’s!”
Xisuma laces his fingers around Tango’s hand and, suddenly aware of just how many things there are to trip on, starts walking towards the Ancient City.
Gosh, but this is going to take an hour, isn’t it? He sighs and pulls out his messenger to tell the other two. A thought strikes him.
“You know, next time you have this problem, you should text ahead. You can use text-to-speech, you know.”
Tango barks a laugh, louder this time. “Yeah, sure, that’s going to be on my mind. Yeah. I’ll do that.”
Well, good enough for Xisuma!
They make their way to the Ancient City together.
#hermitcraft#tango tek#xisumavoid#a bee fic#had this idea stuck in my head since I watched this episode yesterday#anyway Xisuma’s right it’s a mix of ‘base is eating him so he normally can’t leave’#’no longer has effective daylight vision and it’s kind of painful’#and yeah a bit of agoraphobia#once he’s in the ancient city for the record he’s fine and has a grand old time and the other two don’t even know somethings wrong#xisuma meanwhile (king of minding his own business) just Says Nothing At All#and tango gets home through the nether with heat resistance for his little ice problem#sure THAT won’t continue to be a problem or anything!#also for the record zed is aware tango’s weird but also has No Room To Talk so is just being a supportive friend#anyway once again. At SOME POINT I go into more detail on ‘the base is eating him’#but not today!
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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Jerry: “I won’t let you take her.”
Joel:
#disassociated king#one thing about me is I will support joel’s rights#and also joel’s wrongs#so sorry I’m late in saying anything about the finale lol I’ve been busy#joel’s disassociative rampage has not been lost on me though#joel is an empathetic individual but his protective instinct holds precedent above all#I don’t think he inherently held a grudge against or disvalued any of the fireflies he killed#make no mistake he’s not a monster#but that fatherly drive is primal#he had parental tunnel vision that entire time#I’m not sure he even really knew what he was doing#not mean psychoanalyzing joel in the tags under a meme post#the last of us hbo#tlou spoilers#joel miller#the last of us#ellie williams#pedro pascal#tlou#the last of us hbo spoilers#bella ramsey#tlou hbo
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just went through the second part of the AQ and to put it mildly, im not handling these sad Victorian children well
#By not handling it well i mean im crying#LUMINE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU#You worried about fucking CHILDE but not the actual CHILDREN we got in prison?????????????#Who cares if childe is dead or not freminet the actual child nearly got dissolved like mentos in coke!#Who cares about childe here??? Lynette nearly had her ptsd triggered lyney DEFINITELY got at least a panic attack#THEY ARE AT THE FUCKING PRISON WOMAN GET IT TOGETHER#also why are we having visions about childe ew and why are they fully cinematic?? Who is filming???#Like childe funny as a meme to observe but don’t actually get him that close don’t test me know ur place#When did we even become that close with childe??? Im sorry what???#I can’t keep seeing them kids in life threatening situations on trial then this????#Arlecchino you are on a THIN FUCKING ICE#Im watching you!! Im watching you you better not turn into an abuser by actual standards#*break into genshin codes* stay right were you are sweetie im coming rn im going to get you out of this game into a loving family#Im not handling this well#genshin impact#freminet#lyney#lynette#yes I know im the last human on earth to do the quest leave me alone it been a busy time#Im going to kill anyone that get between me and the safety of these kids CHILDE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PLOT YOU ARE MAKING THIS TAKE TIME
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I am once again feeling sad and unappreciated on main
#how come when other ppl send fics on discord theres always ppl reading them right away and sending messages to talk abt it#when i do it *crickets* 99% of the time#maybe i'll get smth like ''yay'' or ''woo'' in response but no one has ever said shit abt the actual content of my fics4#WHAT. AM. I. DOING. WRONG.#NO ONE EVEB FUCKIGN CLICKSD ON MY NEW FIC ONE FUCKING HIT NO KUDOS LITERALLY WHY#i stg that dream i had where someone said they liked my ideas but would never read any of my fics bc they hate my writing style#wasn't even a dream it was just a vision that's 100% true#im sorry im not spiraling over thie specifically there's a million other more serious reasons im upset but this is just the straw that broke#the camel's back man im breaking down
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when I read books I don’t usually imagine characters as specific actors but for the picture of dorian gray I’m imagining hugh dancy as basil (but specifically those pictures where he looks more girlfriend than the women he’s standing next to + looks like he belongs in a flower field or some shit, you know what I’m talking about), matthew macfadyen as lord henry (I’m really just imagining mr darcy) and sam reid as dorian gray (because dorian is definitely blond + serves the same kind of cunt lestat does)
#I know in the movie dorian has black hair or whatever#but I think that is SO wrong dorian is described to have gold waves like the princess he is#kinda like how people draw achilles you know#does anyone else see my Vision#the last time I had specific casting in mind while reading was circe#because I kept imagining her as jenna ortega and I have no idea why but it felt right#the picture of dorian gray#basil hallward#dorian gray#lord henry wotton#ghost speaks
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Alright fuckers I took another stab at it and did the thing, I may/may not finish the actual like, proportionate version one day but he needed to exist and hair hides all my arm related sins.
Please dear gods anyone whose art is even a tertiary focus Lycion NEEEEEDS a Knot All Men shirt I am beset by cursed visions but usually I write them or make cursed little dolls (yes there will be a cursed little Lycion doll with a cursed little shirt but the embroidery thread is fucking fighting me on Mithrun so I dunno when)
Also he has a smoothie
Because one of the many reasons I really do not draw much is I am aphantasmic and do not and cannot visualize so let me tell you every single aspect of this except the shirt just. Happened. What are poses. What are limbs. Bodies exist but WHY.
The shirt had to be a crop top tho for legal reasons that was extremely clear to me
(Hey fun realization tiny Lycion and I feel exactly the same way about all his lil elf limbs they're all wrong and we hate them WAS MY MISTAKE NOT TRYING TO DRAW HIM AS A FURRY. Fuck. I think furries are harder but I might try it.)
#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#lycion#lycion dungeon meshi#knot all men#lycion deserves a knot all men shirt#i am almost the worst person to make this happen gang you have no idea#gonna make the doll one hot pink i'm so excited#but i mean my art is still somehow better than it was a decade ago despite literally never drawing anything#so read art tutorials! and tips! they help even with 0 practice!#(you should probably also practice)#(i'm not gonna i have too many cursed visions to write i have no timeeeee)#(which sucks cuz i am at the stage of 'can see where everything is wrong' but know i'm not gonna practice and then improve)#eh we living that how to draw manga life#didn't cross a million words on ao3 by having a balance of interests#the proportionate version has all his tattoos and everything but Poses Exist and i hate them and he has been redrawn 3 times already#because they are Wrong but How Are They Wrong i can't visualize i literally do not know what right looks like#other aphantasmics can draw and y'all are stronger than the fucking gods#how you pose
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it's been a while since i've cried hard enough to have a headache but. sure got there today, babes!
#ghost speaks#personal#ripped my favorite tights i've had for 5+ years and can't replace#can't return my glasses#got ptsd triggered by going past my old church because i took a wrong turn because i was. crying about not being able to return my glasses#have been crying for a solid 40 minutes straight#am still incredibly aware of how isolated and lonely i am#my parents are on vacation so i won't see a friendly face or get a hug till sunday night at the earliest#just. doing BAD#(well. there is the faint hope that the office manager will take pity on me since her office literally cannot manufacture lenses#that will meet my needs)#(but considering i spent a lot of the last hour yelling and begging out loud trying to work out a maximally sympathetic pitch)#(and also dreading 1-2 years of not having transition lenses because theirs fuck with my color vision)#(i'm not sure the hope makes things. better?)#i am gonna. make hot chocolate because it sounds like a marginal improvement over crying without that#the last time i couldn't stand up or i'd start crying harder was yesterday but boy did i not miss it#i thought i might feel better in the morning. ha. ha ha. ha#(like i know this is temporary i'm just. i just. i am so tired and SO stupidly ridiculously incredibly upset)#(like my emotional equilibrium right now is. not)
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deh vieni non tardar remains the most beautiful aria ever written. to me. but ONLY when performed in a very specific way. otherwise it is absolutely unbearable.
#anyway i do get people who laugh at this aria and say its stupid. because clearly they just never heard it sung Right.#the way i hear it in my head is heavenly fucking music. insanely magically beautiful. idc if it's sTyLiStiCaLlY wRoNg or whateva#mozart himself could manifest here and tell me it cant be sung that way and id flip him off (he wouldnt tho. he'd understand my vision <3)#tebaldi is the only person who does the ending Right. she completely glosses over the giunse alfin tho and the first part of the aria#and id say the tempo in that one recording is a tad too fast#but nvm. never heard a recording that would 100% satisfy my idea of how it should sound.#anyway. nozze opera of all time etc etc what is new#mozart#opera tag#le nozze di figaro
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guys i don’t even know what you’re talking about he’s just a little guy. look at him. he’s too liddol for his robes.
(i gave him an undershirt because he’s too baby for tiddies)
#felix’s art#my first time drawing him#i had a vision so here it is#not sure how i feel about it plus it’s very doodle like#inspired by that one kian drawing (the big eyes/head and small body thingy)#nothing wrong here! he’s just smol. dont worry about it felix this is the real him right nothing could possibly come soon#i think this is a good time to put on some jerwee#jrwi riptide#niklaus hendrix#oh yeah and this is the ash wedding present i suppose
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The horrifying thing about magic, the arcane arts, is that it is because it's alive. It's conscious and it doesnt like being taken advantage of. It demands a payment. A return of equal or greater value.
The terrifying thing about magic, it can take, whatever. It. Likes.
That is the scariest part. Technology is similar.
Thor said it himself. Respect it and it'll respect you.
The issue with chaos magic... the chaos realm... it doesn't care.
The wailing screams from the scarlet witch. The red whip tails piercing at her body. Tearing at her veins, her sharp nails tearing at her face.
Chaos magic as the tendency to demand its price and give more. The team are seeing this.
Her wailing scream breaking into laughter. The churning soft ha, ha, ha. Her blood stained hands hanging loose. Eyes red as scarlet, her head cracking up. Auburn hair falling in weak strands, a to wide grin spread.
A simple finger raise, aimed at the many she felt crossed her.
The scarlet witch bleeding from healing wounds. The red of her powers tearing at the seams of this reality. The pounding of the payment and gift given shredding into the team.
Vision body crumbling. Clint flying into a poster. Natasha formed wrapped in lace. Bucky screaming. Steve stunned coughing up water. Sam screaming running for a body.
Thor eyes gripping blue, mumbling apologies to nothing that was there. Hands visibly shaking with statics of lightning.
Tony eyes Bruning with tears as howard stood their, grin empty of a smile and gash seeping red.
It was her world to make of it.
#well... this got dark#its for an au#im trying to work out how her powers is gonna work#unhinged wanda maximoff#womans rights and wrongs#tw trauma#tw body horror#tw blood#drabbles#the avengers#no one is having a good time#tony stark#bucky barnes#steve rogers#clint barton#sam wilson#natasha romanov#the vision#thor odinson
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can’t stop thinking about Marie reviving Kevin. does anyone ever manage to open the gates of Heaven again. does anyone even bother to tell Linda if they do. does Kevin lose more and more of himself as the years go on, and she’s forced to lose her son a second time. Linda carrying around a warded box with Kevin’s final tether in it so that he can’t accidentally hurt anyone, never knowing if it’s safe to release him from this world, if he won’t be worse trapped in the veil with no one to hold on to at all. one way or another, to love your child is to cage them.
(which is not to say that it’s her fault or even that she could have done anything differently. this is an impossible situation. this is something neither of them ever should have been forced to go through. her son is dead, and nothing can ever change that, and the best she can hope for is to hope that she can send him to heaven before she gets killed, too. because once an acquaintance of the winchesters, always a target for people who have a grudge against them. linda goes through. a lot. in the next few years. family is hell and all.)
the way this shakes out in my head is as a hunt. someone is using a ghost to kill people, and it becomes clear, very quickly, that this ghost is kevin. that someone stole him from linda. and the worst part is that kevin has been a spirit for years now and the magic keeping him under control is strong enough that he can barely tell what’s happening. to him, he’s lashing out to protect his mom, even though she’s not there and he’s just being used. it’s a horrifying fate. and “the only way to save him is to put him down, it’s mercy,” except they still don’t know if that’ll send him to Heaven or Hell or further into the Veil or worse.
and I am thinking about marie finding this little box, open because Kevin is being forced to attack the Winchesters, maybe even his mom, as they try to save him, and marie pulling out the ring his ghost is tied to, and marie, who listened so closely to Linda talking about her son, so proud of him and so torn apart by grief. I’m imagining this takes place early on, before Lucifer has had a chance to get to the twins, so all the family Marie has is the Winchesters, and Castiel, and Jack, and none of them are really her parents. Dean is hot-and-cold unable to connect, and Sam tries so hard to take care of the twins but can barely look them in the eyes most days, and Castiel prepared for a baby and got something else entirely, and Jack is. Well. Jack is someone she cannot imagine outliving, cannot conceive of a world without.
And so what I’m saying is that she’s holding that ring, and she’s supposed to destroy it, and she can’t. She can’t. Kevin’s spirit is here, and if she can fix it- if she can fix it. Jack elsewhere suddenly gulping down breaths because his heart is racing too fast and his power is being dragged from him into his sister’s hands, and realizing that this is how Marie felt when he brought back Castiel. She didn’t complain, so he grins and bears it. It is an awful, exhausting thing.
But Kevin lives. With all his memories of being a ghost, of losing himself, of being used as a weapon. He’s alive. He shouldn’t be, but he shouldn’t have died either. There’s a girl looking at him, who is his height and younger than him by more than a decade and needs this to have been a Good Thing she did.
at least he gets to hug his mom again.
#so you know. a few thoughts. Kevin should get to live damnit#LET! HIM! COME! BACK! WRONG!#(I’m aware this ignores the whole ‘Chuck sending him to hell secretly and then other shit happening’ plotline but uh.#If The Show Did Not Care To Resolve That. Fuck Em.#they were literally happy to let Kevin wander the earth as a ghost and lose his mind. and fuck em!!! no he the fuck will not!!!#he will only lose his mind a little bit and then be alive again and have to live with it. I mean how old even if he right?#looking at himself in the mirror and Marie did her best but the picture of Kevin Linda had on her was a year or two old by the time he died#and that’s all Marie had of him to go off of. that and memories. and she did her best.#but kevin looks at himself. he’s too old he’s too young he doesn’t fit his own skin.#he expects his hand to go through objects. he dissociates for hours. forgets to eat or sleep or drink.#he’s not a prophet anymore. there are no prophets. and yet sometimes his ears still ring around angels and his vision is scarred over with#writing from tablets long since destroyed and his head is too full. he refuses any offer of the Winchesters to live in the bunker.#he’s a ghost and he’s a teenager and he’s an ex-prophet and he’s kevin freaking tran#marieposting#spn#kevin tran#linda tran
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theres a lot of things that I wasn't expecting when watching evangeleon for the first time, but the thing that threw me for a loop the most was the shinji tragic gay romance arc????? Hello???? After all that girl stuff?????
#This is not a bad thing btw#Just so hilarious how they did so much will they won't they with the girls and then he just fell heads over heels with Kaworu#Say what you want about holding the same still frame for five minutes but that shot.... With the music.... heartbreaking#I think it's really cool that that's the one time the audience doesn't get to hear shinji lose it#Got very disappointed when the next episode didn't deal with that at all#Which don't get me wrong- I think the trippy ''how can I be happy'' stuff was cool!#It just would've been better if they had done any kind of lead up to it whatsoever#like can you imagine if they're all rushing to stop the third impact and then something happens and we get those last two episodes#no further explanation no hints as to what's really going on outside shinji's head besides quick shots that might just be misdirection#It would be so cool it would be so cool do you see my vision#Idk maybe they do that in end of evangeleon but I couldn't watch it#tried to push through but man... It's so bad....#None of them would fucking do that#Anyways I heard the mangas different I wanna give that a read#All the characters are so good im obsessed with all of them#Please give all legal rights to evangeleon to me I have so many good ideas I can make evangeleon better then sliced bread you have no idea#No one is going to read this BUT IF YOU DO please talk to me about evangeleon I need someone to talk about evangeleon with#Anyways#Nge#neon genesis evangelion#Evangeleon#shinji ikari#kaworu nagisa#My post
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oh....thinking about ivaan and how maybe they aren't a fighter but a paladin instead. and how that's where the "seraph" alias would (partially) come from in bg3 setting....and how perhaps he's gonna break his oath eventually. that seems like something i can make work... 📝
#'make work' sounds like a fake phrase. wtf#'make it work' yes but without the 'it'? feels wrong#oc seraph#idk yet....all i know is they have Big Sword.....#i thought fighter for sure but an oathbreaker paladin is a vision that got beamed right into my mind#well. i still have plaaaannyyyy of time to think abt it since i still haven't finished rhidian's playthrough#and i Really want to finish theirs#cas.oc
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one thing i was not at all prepared for about having to go without glasses for a week is how the navigating my environment itself isn't a huge barrier--i have to be really slow and careful and it's annoying, but it hasn't actually stopped me from doing things including in the 'god this is going to be a hassle, i don't even want to start' way--but the major loss/change in sensory input as well as Oh God the HUD is Wrong is apparently a huge depression trigger. replacements cannot happen soon enough
#moogletalks#second half reminds me of when i tried contacts for a few weeks as a teenager and Dear Reader I Hated It#the contact care part aside it felt so SO bad to walk around places that aren't my bed without glasses on my face#and it turns out that feeling is the same whether i can or can't see while i'm wearing them!#i started wearing glasses full-time when i was eight and they're part of my brain and body map now#it used to throw me for a loop a lot when people talk about only wearing theirs part of the time; just because Wait but Your HUD#i thought maybe it was just a 'well i guess they must not need them as [often/heavily] as i to for daily life'#'i wouldn't be so freaked out by the idea of going about my day without mine if i weren't worried about not having them when i need them'#and tbh i think this kinda puts the kibosh on that because my vision *is* shitawful and things *are* more difficult without correction#My Life Would Not Be Unaffected on a Logistical Level#but i feel *considerably* less visceral OH SHIT FUCK THIS DERAILS EVERYTHING about it than many many many other smaller things#it's just kinda oh. well. alright then let's go#in fact i wish i could take a lot more things in stride like this one emotionally lmao#but the lack of the glasses themselves feels exactly as horribly wrong as it did over a decade ago#glasses can come with all sorts of fucking annoying problems and hassles to deal with!#but given the choice of affordable; sturdy; well-fitted glasses with the right prescription etc#i would 100% choose that over unassisted vision#including the increased peripheral vision i'd get from not wearing frames#braintag#adventures in mental illness
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