#right now. so. you can imagine how fucking rabid i am

[lovphobic]

sorry to go back to that horrid post but i can assure you you would rather have a scar from a biopsy than to have your loved ones whoever they may be choose how to take care of your body in death because you denied a biopsy because it would scar. shut the fuck up about scars they arent shit in the grand scheme of things

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch. 4

A/N: Here she is! Another heavy chapter LMAO pls heed all the warnings and put yourself first always! Also pls give me asks I am a rabid dog without them and will rattle my cage without them. I need the interaction or else I will frown. As always, everyone say thank you to my amazing beta reader and loml B @rapline-heaux

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect, crying, familial issues, abandonment issues, blood from biting own lip, covering ears, pinning someone down, mention of open relationship, threat of suicide but as a form of reassurance(?), allusion to possible past addiction, delusional thoughts and manipulation kinda, the yandere-ness has begun

You scrolled mindlessly through your phone, looking for any kind of distraction as the elevator ticked up at a maddening pace. You just wanted to be home without having to worry about what Jungkook was going to do–

And of course, he was slumped against your door. 

You heaved a sigh, swallowing down the pain of seeing him so dejected. Not that you had to try very hard as fear quickly replaced the emotion when you saw another man standing there next to him. You didn’t recognize the figure with an expensive suit, but you certainly had no desire to as he tried tugging Jungkook up. 

The two men’s eyes snapped to you the moment the elevator dinged, making your presence painfully known. Meekly stepping out of it, you gave the men a tight smile that you neglected to remember they couldn’t even see since it was far from reaching your eyes and you still had the mask on. The man standing regarded you lazily, looking you up and down for a moment before his gaze morphed into an emotion you did know quite well: hatred. Pure, unbridled, hatred burned in his gaze, making you feel warm beneath your mask.

But what the hell did you do to this guy? You don’t remember seeing him ever, especially not in your past. Almost everyone who’s seen your face is dead, trusted, or in hiding themselves, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to recognize you, at least not enough to hate you.

“Is this her?” His voice was deep and filled with a venom you were sure wasn’t warranted, but you had little interest in engaging. It did irk you when his eyes looked over your form and his snarl deepened. You just got off work, can’t he give your looks a damn break?

“Can I help you?” You responded with an equal amount of venom, internally cursing yourself. So much for not engaging, dumbass. Your pride was getting the better of you. 

The man before you cocked a brow, “Yeah, you could tell me why my boyfriend refuses to go back to his place until he speaks to you.” Jungkook did his boyfriend no favors in satiating his evident jealousy, his gaze only fixed on you with an emotion you knew nothing of.

Fuck.

That was a good question. A question that could cost your life, so you decided to tread lightly– or as lightly as you could considering how shitty of a job you were doing already. If this guy was one of Jungkook’s boyfriends, that meant there was a pretty good chance he was also a part of Bangtan, and you’ve poked that hornet’s nest more than enough. 

You cleared your throat, “Jungkook.” He nearly keened forward at your voice saying his name, and it made you sigh, “Go home, yeah?” He frowned, slumping back against your door childishly, making his boyfriend glare at you even harsher somehow.

“This is ridiculous.” He spat, eyes never leaving you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d take that as him calling you ridiculous and say something stupid. 

“Yeah? Imagine how I feel.” You sneered back. Obviously, you didn’t know any better right now. But goodness graciousness, this guy was shortening your temper at mach speed. You evidently had the same effect as he scoffed, “Look, what do you want from me?”

“I want my boyfriend to get up from your doorstep.” He hissed.

“Great.” You gritted your teeth, “Me too.” You stepped closer to them, “So why are you being such an asshole about it to me?” 

He rolled his eyes, and you wanted to badly to see him try to do that with a black eye, “Becuase obviously you did something to upset him.” It was your turn to scoff, “So fix it.” 

“Right, 'cause I’m the problem.” You muttered sarcastically. You were pretty used to being blamed your whole life for a whole number of things, but you took that shit because you had to. You didn’t know this guy, and you didn’t have it in you to care right now. 

“You saying he’s the problem?” He snarled, obviously protective of the man. The jealousy at the fact that Jungkook had someone who loved him so much when you didn’t even have a pet was quickly outweighed by your anger and a twinge of fear at this man getting in your face.

“Hyung, you’re making it worse.” Jungkook groaned, and you were a little surprised at how sober he sounded. You thought if he was leaning against your door he was trashed, or at least semi-drunk, but he was speaking clearly, “Just wait for me at my place, okay?” The older man ignored him, crossing his arms and keeping his hatred trained at you.

“I’m saying no such thing, fuck.” You huffed, “If anything, I’m saying you’re acting like a real dick right now, and I’m not in the mood.” You explained harshly, “Take your jealousy or whatever the hell your problem is with me somewhere else.” 

“Jealousy?!” He guffawed, “Me? Jealous of you?!” Ouch, damn. The way he could knock down your self-perception with three words was almost a talent. The power of tone never ceased to amaze, and especially at this moment, wound you. You knew he was more attractive than you. You had eyes after all, but evidently you struck a nerve with him to warrant that response. 

“Oh, my bad.” You sarcastically mocked, “You’re seeming real secure right now. I must be mistaken.” You could hear Jungkook sigh, undoubtedly regretting helping you with your sarcastic tone years ago.

“Do you think I’m enjoying this? He looks miserable.” He grunted, pointing to his dejected lover.

“So leave then.” You challenged.

“Is that what you do to people you care about?” He spat, “Leave?” 

Okay, that struck a nerve with you, “You don’t know a thing about me.” You fumed. You didn’t want to leave anyone, least of all Jungkook, but you also weren’t too keen on sticking around and getting yourself killed. You didn’t anticipate Jungkook not giving you the choice. 

“Well from what I’ve seen, I can’t say I see the appeal.” He retorted. Is this guy calling you ugly or a bitch? Or is it both? 

“Taeyung!” Jungkook scolded his boyfriend.

Your eyebrow twitched at the thought. Fuck this stranger to all hell, “You’re not doing yourself any favors either, I can promise you that.” You looked him up and down, forcing an unimpressed look on your face, and you could see him bristle at your actions. 

“Y/n, come on.” He sighed. Great, now you both know each other’s names. Just what you needed right now. More fucking knowledge.

You sighed, not wanting to upset Jungkook anymore than you were about to by fighting with his boyfriend,  “If I talk to him, will you get the fuck out of my face?” You prodded. 

Taehyung clenched his jaw. God, you were the worst, even worst than he and Jimin thought. You had the worst personality and your face… It would only be fair for you to be as ugly as your attitude, and the fact that you weren’t only pissed him off more. Even worse, you were stunning with a mask on. He swallowed hard, “Fine.” 

“Yipee.” You deadpanned, turning to Jungkook, “Ready?” You asked and he scrambled to get up, taking your bag of takeout from you so you could fish out your keys. 

“Is that a routine you have or something?” Taehyung seethed quietly. 

“I’m just being considerate, hyung.” Jungkook shot back, “Especially when her guest is being so mean.”

“The last thing I’d consider him is a guest, Kook, don’t worry.” You rolled your eyes, taking off your mask so you could put it away before you forgot. Taehyung already had your first name, address, and how your eyes looked, Showing him the rest of your face wouldn’t make you any more in danger than you already were. 

Taehyung wanted to punch a goddamn wall when he saw your the rest of your face. You were stunning and instead of shrinking away from him and out of his lover’s life, Jungkook was clinging to you, and you were more than holding your own. You matched his energy, calling attention to how much of a dick he was being, and he didn’t care for the mirror you proved to be. Even with that stupid piece of tissue clinging to your lip, saturated with blood, you looked beautiful, and it pissed him off. 

“What happened to your lip?” Jungkook asked worriedly, making Taehyung fume even further. 

It took you a couple seconds before you remembered, and you sighed, “Just bit it earlier, that’s all.” You explained, taking the tissue off before flicking your gaze to Taehyung, snapping him out his angry hypnosis with your face, “Bye.” You urged him. 

“Watch yourself.” He warned, making you scoff.

“Thanks for the concern.” You quipped back as you unlocked your door, walking in to let Jungkook bid his stupid boyfriend adieu.

Jungkook watched you retreat into your room before looking back at his boyfriend, “You know better than anyone you catch more flies with honey.” He remarked, making Taehyung huff.

“She’s mean.” He simply said, and this made the miserable man snort. You were anything but mean, your kindness was one of the many things he admired about you. It was effortless, you weren’t even trying to be good. You just were. It scared and enticed him so.

“She’s really not.” The younger man said, “You were really mean, and I’m literally the one who taught her how to be mean back, a little too well obviously.” 

“Taught her?” The man echoed his lover. What, were you a child? Why did his boyfriend need to “teach” you anything? And why the hell did it bother him so much?

Jungkook shook his head, “Nevermind. What I mean is she would’ve been way more receptive had you just been a bit more polite. Then you’d have something to report to Yoongi.” He sighed, irked at the fact that his boyfriend’s kept prying about you since his mood has been sour these days.

Taehyung chewed his lip, obviously guilty, “We’re just worried–”

“Sure.” He cut Taehyung off, making the older man scowl, “Just go wait for me, alright? Let me handle my own things.”

“So she’s yours now?” Taehyung bitterly remarked.

“Tae, please.” Jungkook sighed, “You’ve never been the jealous type like this, so I have no idea where this is coming from.” He grit out, and Taehyung bristled at this, the words on the tip of his tongue but before he can even think to say them, Jungkook spoke, "Just go, okay?” The older man rolled his eyes but followed his orders, the doors to both apartments closing at the same time.

—

You had changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt the moment you got in. Not only was it because you didn’t want to overhear what Jungkook and Taehyung were talking about, but you also knew this conversation was going to drain you beyond belief so you wanted to be prepared to go straight to be afterwards. 

You entered your living room right as Jungkook closed your door, and you plopped onto the couch, already tired of this, “I don’t know what you want me to say.” You huffed, sending a glare to your turned-off TV. Should’ve never gotten the damn thing if it was going to be the catalyst for this much grief. 

“You know what I want you to say.” He sighed. All the desperation from earlier in the day seemed to have tapered off and now you were both just left tired. Part of you was thankful he wasn’t freaking out like that right now, you rarely saw him like that. In your years of friendship, Jungkook and you basically never fought. You could count the number of times on one hand. Most often, the moment a disagreement arose, you dealt with it then and there. Keeping distance and being dismissive was new between the two of you, and it drained you both, “Tell me why, and I’ll let it go.” He professed and you scoffed. You weren’t sure how much you believed him judging by the dark circles blooming beneath his barely subdued crazed eyes.

“What difference does it make?” You refused to meet his eyes even as they burned holes in your cheek.

“You said you weren’t scared of syndicates or mafias.” He blurted, and you stiffened, “So tell me why.” 

You shrugged, “I lied.” It was a half-truth, but you knew it wasn’t enough. Gone were the days when cagey lies and half-truths were sufficient between the two of you.

"We've both lied to each other enough, but it's time to stop, yeah?" He asked, and you could tell his sanity was toeing a very thin line but you simply huffed, “Come on.” He groaned, “Why won’t you tell me?” 

You remained staring at the TV, “I can’t.” 

“Can’t or won’t–”

“Both.” You crossed your arms, “The more we talk about this, the worse it’ll be for me.” You added, “And you, probably.” 

“Fine.” He hissed, and for a moment you thought he was going to leave, “Then I’ll tell you what I know.” He pushed off of your door and walked to stand in front of the TV. It sounded like a threat, and in a way, you knew it was.

You swallowed hard, “Don’t you dare tell me a thing.” You warned. Knowledge is almost everything when it comes to risk assessment. If you knew too much, there would be no running away, there would be a chase. You could not afford to be chased. Hell, you couldn't afford to even be having this conversation in the first place.

“Why?” He challenged, eyes colder than you’ve ever seen. You pressed your lips together, not wanting to entertain this, "What's the harm in knowing things?" He was prodding you to show your understanding. He was baiting you and when you remained silent, he flashed a bitter half-smile before speaking, “Very well. I know that I am Jeon Jungkook, cyber specialist of the Bangtan syndicate, one of seven leaders.” 

You dug your nails into your palms and fought the bile that rose up in your throat. One of your worst nightmares come true, and yet, you were stuck. Your body was rigid and your mind could barely process the million ways the reality of the fact could and was actively ruining you.

His words made your chest seize, and you wanted to throw up. The fucking cyber specialist, a whole leader, of the most powerful syndicate in the country had been coming to your apartment every week? How stupid could you be? “Stop.” You seethed.

“I know that you acted weird when the camera panned to the audience during the fight on Friday.” He took a step forward and you pressed yourself further into the couch, “I know that you said it was because you saw a teacher in the crowd, but that wasn’t true.” 

“Enough.” Each word was like a stab to the chest. In more ways than one, you were sure nothing would be left of you by the time this conversation was over.

He wore that bitter smile so seamlessly, “I know it wasn’t true because I checked every single person in that fucking crowd, not just teachers.” 

“Please.” You pleaded, pressing your nails so deep you could almost feel the acrylic snap.

“The only one who called into work that day doesn’t know you.” He spat, and you felt utterly ill.  

“Jungkook.” You croaked.

He pressed on without a care in the world, eyes trained on you, “You wanna know who was in that crowd?”

“No.” You protested.

He clicked his tongue, “Too bad, it–” 

You shook your head, covering your ears, “Shut up, shut up!” You exclaimed, palms pressing to muffle him. 

In no time, he pinned your hands to your side, hovering over you with a fierce glare, “I can’t let you run away from this.” He snapped, “Not from me.” 

“Why not?” You hissed.

“You mean too much to me.” The vulnerability and the sheer honesty in his voice, made you regret asking. Your heart cried out for more as your mind begged to run and never look back. 

You struggled against him, significantly harder to hold your own against him when he was sober, “Let go of me.” You pleaded, your words having a double meaning that he didn’t care to listen to.

“Never.” He huffed like it was a promise, plucking at your heartstrings, “I can’t.” He said quietly, making your hairs stand on end, dropping his head to rest on your head, “I just can’t.” He breathed, lips moving along your crown.

“Can’t or won’t?” You mocked him, tears stinging you at the affection while he let out a humorless laugh.

He slid his hands from your wrists to interlace his finger with yours, still holding your hands down in a fierce grip, “Both.” He breathed. You hated your body for wanting to relax against his touch.

“You’re making a mistake.” You admitted solemnly, “You shouldn’t–”

“Enough of that.” He snarled, stunning you silent, “As I was saying,” He continued, pulling back but hovering over you still, “There was a certain Moon Byungjoo in the crowd.” Your uncle’s name made your stomach tighten and you internally begged Jungkook not to notice. The man in question quirked a brow at you, “That name mean anything to you?” You opened your mouth to deny it, but he shook his head, “Just stay quiet if you’re going to lie.” The venom in his tone hit your heart, the pain radiating to your throat.

“That’s not fair.” You whispered, “Like you’ve never lied to me.” You spit out, glaring at him, trying to look anything but how petrified you are.

“I’m not anymore.” He shot back, and you rolled your eyes, but he remained headstrong, “I’ll ask again, does that name mean anything to you?” 

A mix of anger and betrayal filled you, “You know the answer already, don’t you?” You hissed and he flashed you that sickening smile again.

“He called you that day I was here, didn’t he?” He asked, and you kept your mouth shut, blinking the tears back as your carefully woven mundane life began to unravel, “Now, I didn’t know what you could possibly have to do with Byungjoo. I even went as far as researching you, and you know what I found?” You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as he spoke, but his eyes never broke contact with yours, “Nothing.” He sighed, “You basically didn’t exist until you enrolled in school.” 

“That wasn’t fair.” You whimpered, trying to keep your tears in, “We promised we would stay out of each other’s business–”

“I can’t lose you.” He quickly interjected, his shield cracking for a moment to show you the desperation in his gaze, “So I did what I had to do, for us.” 

You swallowed thickly, “What us, Kook?”You hissed, trying to hurt him even if it tore you down too, “We’re just friends is all.” You fixed a cold gaze on him, “Just study buddies who stuck around too long.” However, his grip only tightened on your hands.

“Friends?” He spit the word bitterly. He gave you an incredulous look, “Be honest with yourself for once, and then try to tell me that again.” He breathed, mere inches from your face now, and you had nowhere to sink into any further. 

You wanted to protest again, tell him that he was being crazy. You wanted to say that he was looking for more in the relationship you shared than what was there, but he was no fool. It didn't take a genius to know that the feelings you held, the bond you both shared, the feelings you had wasn't mere friendship. The trouble was you didn't know what the hell it was. It was the deepest connection you'd ever had and yet, you had no idea where to place it. 

He sighed, eyes cast down for a moment, “I didn’t want to do that, you know?” He admitted, pulling back a little, “When the guys found out I made a friend they insisted on doing a full background check, a week of tailing, and even random bout of tailing, but I told them to stay out of it.” He admitted, and your body shivered at his protective tone, “Our relationship was too important to jeopardize.” This made you grind your teeth in frustration. Maybe he should've let them dig into you or drive you away, save you both this grief.

“And now?” You pressed.

“Now,” He echoed, “It’s too important to lose.” You didn't get it. You knew why Jungkook’s friendship was so important to you, he was essentially all you had, but he had much more than you.

“What if it’s lost already?” You glared at him, but he didn’t seem shaken.

“It’s not.” He affirmed, and you didn't get how he was so sure, “We can rebuild, stronger than ever.” 

You shook your head. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Something had to be wrong with him with the way he was talking like your relationship was so profound and… Your own lies tasted bitter on your tongue. It was hard to think clearly with him this close and with this much fear coursing through your veins, but even with all that, you knew. You knew he was right, and it made you sick to your stomach.

“I searched and I searched for any connection to Byungjoo and you and then…” You started squirming, wanting a head start before being viciously hunted, but he only pressed his arms into your legs, hands still holding yours, “Did you know that the first record of you started almost exactly five years ago?” He trailed off, eyes scrutinizing yours, “And I mean actual record, not the fake ones that were made also exactly five years ago.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was over. Truly, madly, deeply, over, “You know what five-year anniversary is coming up?” He asked and you tried to stand, tried to run, but it was no use. None of it was ever any use, and you knew it.

In the blink of an eye you were pinned to the floor, his legs locking yours in place as his hands stay intertwined with yours, “Don’t do this!” You cried, and the tears finally fell, “You don’t understand–”

"I couldn't believe it at first." His face was stone as you tried to look away from him, unable to face him now that he knew who you really were, "My y/n? The girl who I had to teach sarcasm to? The girl who needed me to show her how to use a coffee maker?" You struggled against him, wanting more than anything to cover your ears and just fade away, “Originally I thought you were amish or something, but a cold-blooded killer? A child progidy asassin?” His words were like fire, and you wanted to be swallowed whole by it, “How could that be when you were scared of your ice maker for almost a year?” What was once funny memories turned into stark reminders that this life had never really been yours to begin with. Your life would never be your own.

"Stop it, please."  You sobbed, embarrassment crushing your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut. In your childhood it was all about the mission, and any other knowledge would just get in the way. You didn't learn how to properly write until you were a teenager, let alone interact with people your age. It was Jungkook who painstakingly helped you learn the most basic tasks and subtle inflections. He never once got frustrated or gave up on you and here he was, his palms pressing against yours as he tore your walls to shreds.

“And then… he said your name.” Your whole body froze, your thrashing coming to an end, but the tears never stopped. “He said it to me, and only me, but it’ll be no time before the other guys question him.” He explained, eyes still unbelievably cold as he regarded you. Byungjoo, that fucking rat. You should’ve known, but what made it worse was that if you never befriended Jungkook, your name wouldn't matter that much. They wouldn't know your birthday or your address or anything, but you put a target on your back the moment you let him into your apartment all those years ago.  

"I'm dead." Tears kept falling, but your body was stone now, and it would be soon. All those years of trying to survive and be somebody outside of your father, would be for nothing. You couldn’t outrun your past, and you felt stupid for ever trying.

He ignored your words, but you felt him squeeze your hands a bit harder, “At first I thought you were playing me," He grit his teeth, making you shiver. You wanted to protest, but he just pressed on, "but then I understood.” You finally looked at him, confusion filling your eyes with the tears as his gaze softened. He leaned down to your ear, “It was fate.” The way he said it nearly made you teares freeze on your face. Something about it sounded almost sinister, but what was worse is you could tell he genuinely meant it. 

“What?” You squeaked out, and he chuckled darkly. You could hardly recognize him like this, and you wondered if the Jungkook you knew was nothing but a facade or if this was just another part of him.

“Come on, two mafia darlings finding each other against all odds and genuinedly not knowing who the other was.” He pulled back to look at you, eyes transparent now as his pupils dilated, “We’re perfect.” He breathed. You could see he wasn’t angry, but you couldn’t recognize that look in his eyes, “No more running, green girl.” The nickname made your body tremble beneath him. 

“Just let me–” 

He quickly cut in, “I’’ll protect you.” He kissed softly at the tear running down your cheek.

You shook harder, “They’ll kill me.” You cried softly, “I don’t have anything to offer. I don’t know where my father is and–”

“Shh, shh.” He soothed you, but it did little to help, “I won’t let them kill you.” He promised, and you weren’t sure how much he could keep the promise, “If they do, I’m going with you.” Your eyes bulged at this.

“You can’t mean that.” You tried to reason with him, but he simply shook his head.

“I mean everything I say to you.” He leaned his forehead against yours, breathing you in deeply, “You’d do well to remember that, okay?” He pressed another kiss to your forehead, “I’m gonna go talk to them in a bit.” He sighed, not looking forward to it.

“T-Tonight?” You asked. 

He hummed in agreement, “No time like the present, huh?” He sat up, finally releasing your hands, but keeping your legs still as he sent you a sharp look, “No running, okay?”

“I don’t have anywhere to go.” You ruefully responded, nerves running on overdrive.

“Oh come on, I know Eunhwa worked for your father.” He tsked, and you flinched, not noticing the way he softened at your fear.

“Not even she is willing to risk her life to help me right now.” You snapped,looking away from him in shame. You had no one, no one except him. Even if you did try to run on your own, it would be two seconds before a bounty the size of Seoul was on your head. You’d be found by someone else, but you couldn’t help but feel like Jungkook would stop at nothing to find you first regardless, “We originally agreed to wait a few weeks since anniversary week is kind of…” 

He snorted, already knowing the situation. He was one of the men that helped craft it. Nothing involving your family happened during that time, which made you all so hard to find, but obviously not hard enough, “Lucky me then.” He finally released your legs and you scrambled away from him. A flash of hurt came and was gone from his pupils before he extended his hand to you, “I never wanted to do any of this.” He reminded you, finally sounding like the Jungkook you knew but it did nothing to ease you, “I never wanted to scare you like that, but it was the only way to–”

You hugged your knees curling into yourself, "But you did." You sighed, feeling so unbelievably empty, as you struggled to take in a breath, “Just go.” Your voice cracked, and he recognied the tone immediately. 

“No, I’m not going to leave you like–” He tried to offer to help but you just covered your ears as you cried into your knees. 

“Leave, please!” You rasped, and that’s when it hit him. Regardless of the affection you both felt for each other, your relationship was fundamentally changed. You were no longer each other’s escape, you were the grizzly reality. 

“No.” He seethed before crumbling down next to you. Despair washed over him at the reality of your relationship, but not even that could get in the way of his need to be close to you. What he had with you transcended wrong and right. You were tattooed into his psyche.

“Haven’t you done enough?” You croaked before his body covered yours. Even if you had the energy, you weren’t planning to fight his embrace, not when your traitorous body managed to relax as his mahogany and rain scented cologne invaded your senses, allowing you to take your first real breath since this whole ordeal. 

“I won’t leave you like this.” His voice was muffled as he pressed his palms over yours to quiet the outside world, “Even if it’s my fault.” His breath hit your forehead as he kissed the skin, “Even if it makes you hate me.” He promised, “I’ll never leave you like this.” He began his rhythmic tapping, just like he always did, and the familiarity brought you both comfort, even if just for a moment. 

“I hate this.” He let out a small sigh of relief when your hate wasn’t explicitly directed at him, “I’m scared, and I never wanted to be that girl again.” For the first time, Jungkook found himself wondering what exactly happened those five years ago. He wanted to know every little thing about your life before him. He wanted to know why you were alone, if you were loved, if someone hurt you, and most importantly, he wanted to know who, “I’m dead.” You cried into his chest. 

“No, you’re not.” He all but promised, “I won’t let them.” He pressed a too-sweet kiss to your forehead.

“Why?” You asked again, even though you knew you weren’t ready for the answer. 

“Because…” He trailed off, trying to think of what to say, never letting up on his taps, “You’re mine.” He mused, and you succumbed to your despair even further as your body shook violently. 

“And what do I have then?” You sobbed, “What’s mine then?” Your life had never been yours, and you suddenly felt so foolish to think it ever would be. Made to be a puppet and cursed to never cut the strings. 

“I am.” He immediately responded and you shook your head, but he only held you tighter, “Don’t be scared.” He breathed, “No matter what happens, I’ll always be here.” He promised, and it broke your heart that the notion both scared and eased you. You simply nodded as you both stayed that way and then once your breathing stabilized, he let you be alone.

“I don’t know how I’m going to forgive you for this.” You admitted, the both of you hurting from your statement.

“I know.” He looked to you with a soft smile, “But you will eventually, and that’s all I care about.” 

He set his jaw before taking his leave, and he could hear your breathing trying to steady even as he closed the door. He leaned against the wood, sighing as he closed his eyes. It was just a rough patch. You just couldn’t see how good this was for both of you. Even if he had to rebuild your relationship all by himself, he would. He’d do anything if it meant keeping you. Maybe he was an addict down to his core, trading one vice for another. He didn’t care either way.

-------------------

If you enjoy my work, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi (also pls send me an ask, I love to hear from y'all!)

Masterlist

[takerfoxx]

I'm not traditionally a poly shipper (though I've been delving more into it as time goes by), but if there's one that I'm absolutely gaga about, as if in makes my personal top five ships and might even slot in right beneath KyoSaya and SuleMio, it's the one that almost certainly could not and should not happen in canon, but the thought of it still kinda makes me rabid with what could have been.

I am of course talking about AsuReiShin, AKA the Israfel Special.

Evangelion shipping is often a bizarre experience, especially amongst the core trio of pilots. There is just so much material among these incredibly fucked up characters, so many things that ought to be drawing them together, and yet they are all damaged in such specific ways that drive them to behave increasingly toxic, avoidant, or even abusive toward one another. They're all such hot messes of trauma and hangups that, hate to say it, the Rebuild ending of everyone essentially just making peace with one another and fucking off with Shinji hooking up with the controversial new girl that he at least doesn't have any baggage with was probably the healthiest choice, if not the most satisfying.

But even so, the reason I dig this triad specifically is because if you change even just a little bit about each character, you find the same traits that drove them apart suddenly drawing them together, and each individual pairing makes so much sense. Asuka and Shinji is the most obvious, with Asuka's aggressive bullying suddenly becoming proactive encouragement, and Shinji's meek avoidance now becoming the calm, stabilizing force that she needs. With Asuka and Rei it's similar, with Asuka's hatred of Rei's passivity now being being a drive to push Rei to experience and enjoy life and establish an identity, while Rei's gentle observation and lack of a filter would be give Asuka a much-needed source of self-reflection. And with Shinji and Rei, we've already seen how Shinji's kindness has encouraged Rei to step outside of her sheltered world and seek human connection, while also providing Shinji someone he felt was worth stepping up and fighting for.

Now, take all three of those dynamics and combine them together. You've basically got the perfect Id, Ego, and Superego situation. It's practically the adolescent Kirk, Spock, and McCoy dynamic!

Plus, there's also the other factors that would bring them together, even beyond the whole being hormonal teenagers in a stressful situation. Despite having wildly different personalities, they all had their lives destroyed by NERV, from Shinji losing his mother and being neglected by his father, to Asuka's mother losing her mind and taking her life thanks to the Evangelions, to Rei literally being created by Gendo to serve a terrible purpose and thus being robbed of ever having a life. That sort of "in the trenches" experience is exactly the sort of thing that would cause them to form bonds and seek comfort with one another, especially if they were all to learn of each other's past histories, and motivate them to stand up for one another against NERV's machinations, but ah, I'm delving into AU fanfic territory.

Point is, no, I don't think it would be wise for these three to seek out romance with one another, either as couples or all three of them together. But man, if they each just had just a little bit changed about them, can you imagine the pure emotional catharsis?

Note: I didn't really say anything about Kaworu because while I feel that he's probably the healthiest singular choice for Shinji, it's basically only with Shinji, making him his own separate deal entirely.

[sunlightandsuffering]

It's kind of cute how Fratboy Eren begs Mikasa to come to his frat parties every time even though he knows she'll say no

CHIVALRY IS ABOUT BUYING THE GIRL AN UBER IF UR GONNA HAVE A BOOTY CALL LOL !!

Eren has never been one to indulge Mikasa, he can’t, she’d be spoiled rotten if he did everything she said, gave her everything in the world she deserved, the most perfect, beautiful– stop, he’s getting a little carried away. 

He simply can’t indulge her though, or she’d be a brat, which is ironic seeing as how if anyone was spoiled he was, a nepo baby and richest kid on the block, but he doesn’t think it’s changed him too much. 

On the other hand, Mikasa is already kind of a brat, maybe if he had indulged her when they were younger she wouldn’t have turned into this angry little feminist spaz. 

Maybe she’d be sweet and loving, and his girlfriend hanging on his arm. 

But as he tries to picture it, he simply can’t, can’t get that patented murderous glare out of his mind, how just one glance gets him hot. 

No, he likes her just as she is, full of burgeoning rage at the patriarchy, and hypocritical just for him. 

The contrast of her is fucking beautiful, and who would have thought that his tenth-grade vow to become a sexist asshole in pure spite of her would reward him so well. Because where other men receive her rabid dislike, Eren receives her reluctant affection and nothing is hotter than her showing up to his frat house in an uber at 3 am, after repeatedly telling him no. 

Nothing is better than being the only man she’ll make an exception for. ​​

That hit of dopamine every time she rejects him, knowing she’ll make an exception in the end, that she’ll turn up on his door step spritzed in light perfume, freshly showered and shaved, wrapped up in sweats and an old oversized sweater just for him. She’s like a present to unwrap, and he adores it. 

So, he texts her, against all common sense, despite the fact that there is an entire sorority in his house right now, a girl with tits the size of melons trying to hang off his arm, he does it. Eren, 11:18 pm

come over, miss u, kinda wanna get my dick wet. 

And although he wonders if the last statement was a little bit much, imagining her enraged reaction makes him practically giddy, how she’s probably fuming about it right now. 

And sure enough, seconds later, like she simply couldn’t wait to respond. 

Mikasa, 11:18 pm

Fuck off Yeager

Women are not objects I will not be coming over now, or ever

The typing bubble continues for a while and he watches in amusement as it appears and disappears several times before she finally stops responding. 

Eren decides to throw fuel on the fire as the blonde with melon tits leaves him, deciding he’s not worth the effort, and privately, Eren agrees. 

Eren, 11:30 pm

i’ll let you suck me off

God, what he wouldn’t give to facetime her right now, watch her respond in real time because he can only imagine the shocked outrage. 

Mikasa, 11:31 pm

That’s not the win you think it is Yeager. 

Eren, 11:31 pm

could be… if you show up 👅

Eren receives nothing else from her for the next several minutes, and before he can stop himself he’s ordering her an Uber, because you know chivalry isn’t dead after all. If he’s going to get her to come over mid-party for a booty call, he might as well be a gentleman about it.

[voidsentprinces]

I love how I can follow you for normal stuff like polls about who has the best tits and then be confronted with a solid almost uninterrupted page of mushroom swiss burgers. Quality content (genuine)

See, this is why, whenever I see one of those "Looking for FFXIV Blog" posts. I am adamant that I am not a FFXIV Blog. I am a junk drawer, I am a chaotic mess, I am a hoarders' paradise of bits and bobs. The house is filled with a variety of things, while the wall paper is of tasteful Urianger and Y'shtola poses. The contents held within the house are as varied and multiplictous as my brain will allow...also I have no impulse control for the most part.

So, while I may appear as an FFXIV Blog. I am FFXIV Blog, the same way a pizza is technically a full course meal with it be comprised of meat, vegetable, cheese, and bread.

Today, polls to imagine your face squished firmly between a pair of hypothetical and fictional racks. In seven hours after I wake up? Miss Congeniality spam. Tomorrow? Who the fuck knows...maybe I'll hyperfocus on fondue fountains or MGMT.

Final Fantasy XIV, now with a side of these rabid tasmanian devils thrown into a stationary room for several hours. STEP RIGHT UP!

[child0feden]

EVEN DEEPER

vegard “ ihsahn ” tveitan x reader

- nsfw headcanons for vegard and his breeding kink!

this ovulating shit is kicking my ass, i am so unused to it because i am usually on birth control and now that i am not i feel like a rabid dog lolol <3

- view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: we are unholy by urgehal - satan bless you by sabbat

* 18 + content ahead, please do not read if you are a minor *

- vegard has a breeding kink that is just so beyond strong!

✩ most of the time, you are usually on birth control but the two of you often still treat it like there is a real chance of you getting pregnant when having raw sex together…

- sometimes vegard really does completely forget that there is not actually a huge chance of you falling pregnant after sex at all

✩ like he will lay limp on his back next to you after finishing inside of you and softly trace small patterns your stomach with his calloused fingers! obviously, you ask just what exactly he is doing and he will usually say something like “ just in case… there’s always that 1% chance, isn’t there? ”

- you always just gently smack him on the shoulder and laugh quietly under your breath because yeah right…

✩ but he just absolutely loves the idea of putting his baby inside of you, loves the idea of watching as your body grows his baby and your tits slowly but surely fill with milk over the steady months of your pregnancy

- vegard just does not think there is any stronger way in the world to properly lay his true claim on you than putting his baby inside of you for all to see

✩ he knows very well that some of the other men in your shared friend group think you are just so beyond beautiful and think that they could treat you much better than him, which they absolutely could not and he could only ever blissfully imagine the look on their face every time they would have to see you with a bump that holds his baby growing bigger every day… not to mention when you eventually had the baby and they would see how it was just a perfect mix of both you and him? oh he daydreams about how annoyed they would look every single day…

- you guys usually always end up having sex in the cowgirl position!

✩ vegard just thinks it is the absolute best position for his cum to reach the deepest place it possibly can inside of you, he absolutely loves to roughly fuck himself up into you when you are in cowgirl too… when he is about to cum, he almost always grabs your hips and slams you down onto the very base of his cock, going in as deep as he possibly can whilst he groans deeply and you gasp in pleasure, feeling his hot cum shoot up into you…

- in the midst of having sex, vegard will often delve into the absolute filthiest dirty talk right in your ear about wanting to fuck his baby into you as you grind yourself down onto his cock and desperately moan for more

“ wanna put my baby in you so bad… you want that, pretty girl? want me to fill you with my cum? fuck! you’d look so beautiful growing my baby, wouldn’t you? ” ( you cannot even really attempt to give an actual response other than repeating “ yes ” in between your own loud moans and gasps )

✩ he just absolutely loves to cum right inside of your cunt, it is beyond just rare that he shoots his load anywhere other than deep inside of you

- sometime later, you eventually do come off your birth control and vegard is so absolutely excited about it… he almost yells in pure excitement when you first tell him that you stopped taking them…

✩ the timing just feels so perfect to him! emperor is doing pretty damn good, they are making a damn good few tape sales and you guys are living very comfortably in a pretty spacious yet cozy little apartment together in norway

- this is around the time that you both realise neither of you really mind actually having a baby together… and so you guys continue having sex as you usually do with no condom, no plan, certainly no birth control and with vegards breeding kink blooming stronger than ever inside of him…

✩ whenever you are ovulating real bad, your sex drive is crazy high and you have the strongest baby fever coursing through your brain

- so of course, vegard absolutely loves when you are ovulating! it is when you are the absolute most recipient of his breeding kink

✩ i mean, you are always recipient of it anyways but when you are ovulating? it is almost like you have a stronger breeding kink than he does, you are damn near constantly jumping his bones and fucking him for hours at a time, practically just begging him to put his baby inside of you whilst you ride his cock

- if any of his warm cum begins to slowly drip out of your cunt after he slides his softening cock out of you, he will either gently finger it back into you as you softly whine due to being a little sensitive or he will just slip his cock back into you so that he can keep the cum inside

“ gotta keep my cum inside of you, pretty girl… c’mere… lift your leg, i’ll keep it inside of you ” ( he is always so gentle as he turns you around, moving you onto your side into a spooning position before sliding his cock back inside of you and pushing his head into your neck, littering soft kisses there as you giggle from the feeling of his frizzy hair tickling your warm cheek )

✩ vegard always takes the absolute best care of you after sex like this too, making sure you are well hydrated, making sure you have everything you could possibly want and softly stroking your stomach whilst comfortably cockwarming in a spooning position! when the two of you fall into a deep sleep together, he often has incredibly vivid and clear dreams about what your future kids would look like, what your future life would look like

- it really is no major surprise at all when you fall pregnant within the first two short months of first coming off birth control and vegard could not have been happier when you told him <3

[emcandon]

I return from my bg3 stupor with a fresh 2 am question:

was the TAU story and world a concept you were baking for a long time until you had a chance to write it, or was it a more recent creation?

Do you find it easy or hard to build out new story concepts? Like, do you need to sit on them a while until they feel right, or does it just come pouring out of you from the start? Or a secret, third thing?

Just anything about your personal creation process!

lol hi it might not surprise you to learn that i am also steeping in bg3 (i am still stumbling around act 1! i'm not allowed to play until i hit daily sequel writing quota, which is healthy, i'm sure, but does mean i am somewhat behind just about everyone i know who is also playing :P)

(my first Tav is an enormous nb tiefling bard named Faretheewell who is, imo, perfect. very beautiful. very kind. definitely does drag. lying a lot, but mostly just for funsies. has turned astarion into their little purse dog.)

ANYWAY, TO THE ACTUAL QUESTION:

TAU's an interesting case because it was cannibalized from a couple different ongoing projects into something entirely new.

The characters had been floating around in different iterations since about 2013, and their final forms in Archive are quite distinct from the original seed! Imagine Sunai as an exiled diplomat who got involuntarily apprenticed to a cursed king/the last magician in the world; imagine Veyadi as a disowned god-child tasked with murdering the last magician! I'm still probably going to use that world somewhere so I'll mum about it now (it's the one I call "grandma heist.")

((imo that's why you should always yoink characters you like from whatever source you enjoy, be it your own or something else -- they will inevitably change in their new context, often so substantially that they are nigh unrecognizable.))

The story concept also originated in 2013: "Pacific Rim, but the mechs are built out of the kaiju, and pilots must have survived being poisoned by those kaiju." The addition of strange and upsetting AIs of divine power was somewhat inherited from the story Sunai and Adi came from, where divinity was fraught, fractured, and hungry.

Here's a funny. In 2017 I thought TAU would be a nice, simple, clean project. However. I know some folks who turn out gloriously clean first drafts. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. My brain is a hazardous work environment, very non-OSHA compliant. Basically I do a lot of thought work in the drafting, so the drafts are consequently messy, and there are a LOT of changes from concept to actual workable manuscript.

Which I suppose is to say that story concepts nest in my brain quite often when it is healthy. The frequency with which I land on new and interesting story thoughts is actually a pretty good indicator of how well I am doing ambiently! Right now I'm storing up a lot of them, some of which I am fairly rabid about -- nearly as rabid as I am about Archive, which is the real indicator of a project that is ready to transition from Thought to Work. They are described here as "apocalypse magicians" and other such things. There's one that's going to be kind of an argument with Lovecraftian unknowability via desconstruction of Enlightenment epistemologies + queer identity destruction, and another that's going to be the Le Carré approach to espionage + magic as divinity meets public service + interplanetary empires intruding on your bumfuck planet offering the solution to climate change might still be bad actually. (I want to write that last with my wife and we are making SUCH GOOD FUCKING SHIPS FOR IT.)

How to summarize this? 1) find a story notion/concept about which i can obsess, 2) actually start writing it, 3) mess up spectacularly for a few drafts, 4) finally whittle together something more or less correct, 5) that's my editor's problem now!!

[madaboutmunson]

sad-rockstar-Steve x tour-photographer-Eddie

Little idea I had and decided to write it

"I do NOT want this assignment, Marney!" Eddie pushes the flimsy file back over to his agent. He already knows what's inside. It shows up at least once a year, which was a relief comparing it to how frequent the request used to be.

"Eddie, baby, hear me out. It’s not an assignment. It is a project. It could get you back on the radar. It's not even a tour, really, it's a residency, and his team have already provided you with a list of shots he wants for the book. It's pose, point and shoot, Ed. Easy money." She slides it back over to him, keeping her fingers on top of it firmly, drumming her bright red talons on the card as she looks him right in the eyes, "and it's not like the gigs have been rolling in for you, now have they, sweetheart? Other than the family portrait business that I know you absolutely adore!" She smirks and holds his gaze. Using his favourite pet name against him makes his blood boil, but he isn't angry with her. It was Him.

"Gigs drying up for us is not my fault! The last client wanted all candid behind-the-scenes shots. I provided that. I edited them, barely, because they wanted the realism of life on the road, and they ok'd them. It's not my fault the internet is a cruel, unforgiving place!” Eddie exclaims in annoyance, “Especially when it’s full of Harronites, or whatever those lunatics call themselves." Eddie mumbles under his breath.

She raises her eyebrow at him, "He asked for you specifically." She says, and flicks open the folder revealing an old photo Eddie had taken of Rock Phenom Steve Harrington at one of his shows. He didn’t know what was so special about the picture. He’d taken this shot hundreds of times for artists. It's on a list of shots they can ask for. The artist climbs the barrier, and the hands of the fans reach up to them like worshipers praising their false idol. Eddie waves his hand, and the artist looks straight down the lens. It's supposed to be a duality of intimacy. The solid eye contact with the camera whilst in the arms of strangers, eager to reach out and touch their obsession which none of them would ever possess. Lest of all, that guy. 

What a piece of work. Ruined Eddie’s career and, damn, near ruined his life! 

"He says," she balances her reading glasses on the tip of her button nose and pulls the sticky note from the photo, "no one captures his truth like Eddie Munson." She flips over the message so Eddie can see, “Signed it too. Could be worth something?”

"I've never even spoken to the guy. Why's he so obsessed with me?" Eddie whines, and his agent shrugs.

"Does it matter, Ed? There are a lot more zeros here than we'd see normally."

"Something seems off about this. I don't like it."

"You like his stuff, don't you?"

"Did! I did like his stuff until I published that stupid photo. He's been on my case ever since."

"Not flattered, Eddie?" She laughs

"At first, sure. Until his demands started rolling in, and his fans started giving me grief for declining them. They called me washed up! I hadn't even begun! I thought that picture was gonna be my big break! It went viral! Remember you told me that! But it was actually my demise, Marn!" Eddie seethes, “Imagine calling up your horde of rabid fans because you couldn’t get your way!” He closes the file and folds his arms. “No fuckin’ way! I can’t post a picture of a fucking sunset without his fans all over it like a rash.”

“Then just say yes, Eddie. It can’t be any worse than it is right now.” Marney says with a kind smile of compassion. She did want what was best for him, and though it killed him to admit it, he did need that money. He was in debt up to his eyeballs, barely breaking even at the studio, and the numbers on the cheque he saw, could clear that and then some.

Eddie sighs and sinks back into his chair, “I’m gonna regret this. I know I am.” he says tensely, running his hand through his hair.

He looks up at her, and she is already back in her chair, phone in hand, finger poised over the green call button. 

At his lowest, Eddie admits defeat and nods.

[invisiblefoxfire]

Seen an alarming number of people on my dash passing around a post insisting that Biden is just as bad as Trump, and listing some bad shit that has happened under Biden as proof of this, all framed as a "this is WHITE PEOPLE'S FAULT and just because you have white privilege and aren't being targeted by these things doesn't mean Biden isn't EVIL" and...

And these posts are being shared by people I have seen, recently, also sharing posts about how you need to watch out for psy-ops and propaganda, and you need to remember just HOW MUCH WORSE Trump is, and how anyone who can needs to vote for Democrats to prevent the US from becoming a literal overt christofascist dictatorship.

And it looks like the moment they saw a post that said "you only think that because you're white," their guilt over having privilege caused them to crumble.

I can't believe I'm having to write this. I can't believe the people I follow don't already know this, aren't already on the lookout for this. I can't believe there's a very serious chance that these campaigns will work and too many young people won't vote because "Biden is bad too" and the entire world will have to suffer under the christofascist dictatorship the Republicans are overtly, not secretly, but openly promising to institute under Trump.

Biden sucks in a lot of ways. He's done things he shouldn't which should make you angry. He's not done things he should have which should also make you angry. There are some things people think he should do which he doesn't actually have the power to do (which is why you vote the whole ballot, not just the president). He has also done a lot of really good things that people aren't talking about as much because anger and outrage get more clicks. (No, I am not going to list them here because I'm just one poor queer trans disabled guy who is mustering up the last of his energy to post this today, but I've shared lists of good stuff he's done before, and I will again whenever they pop up.)

Trump wants to burn down the world and start armageddon in the name of the evangelical christian religion. He wants everyone like me to die. He wants every queer person to die. He wants every disabled person to die. He wants every brown and black person to die. He wants to write Israel a blank check to nuke every last Palestinian. He wants to flood the air with deadly chemicals. He wants to get rid of no-fault divorce to trap people in abusive marriages. He wants to get rid of birth control and turn every person with a uterus into a baby producing factory. He wants to start fresh wars with everyone on earth. He wants to suck Putin's dick. He wants to burn down the rainforests. He has a rabid group of fascists, many of whom are fucking cops and military, chomping at the bit to make things so much worse than you could possibly imagine.

Things are bad. Things are bad right now. If you do not vote for Biden, you are saying you're fine with things getting unfathomably worse for the entire planet.

If you think it is more important to do nothing wrong than to do something right, if you think it is better to keep your soul~ pure by never voting for someone imperfect than to vote however you have to to stop far greater evils from taking power, then fuck you.

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA. The propaganda will not come in the form of a MAGA red hat wearing skinhead trying to persuade you to join him. It will come in the form of a post that says "actually I'm OPPRESSED by the democrats and if you vote for them you are RACIST." It will come in the form of someone pretending to be on your side who is framing voting as somehow not woke enough. It will come in the form of someone who pretends to be just like you telling you that there's no point in voting, so just stay home.

They are putting SO MUCH EFFORT into trying to persuade young people not to vote, because voting MATTERS. But if you don't vote, and the Republicans win, then you might never get the chance to vote again.

Both parties are not the same. FUCKING. VOTE. Because if you can vote democrat, and you don't, and the republicans win, the horrors that will be unleashed as a result will be on your conscience for the rest of your life.

[unusual-raccoon]

okay, so! the idea i said i needed to run by you? i spent hours doing these edits to explain it better adsgsjd

so i was thinking about modern abo jaceluke (it doesn't have to be tied to any of the aus we've talked about, but it surely can fit somewhere there!) and I thought "to what means would rhaenyra go to stop jacaerys and lucerys' relationship?"

and then i thought that pretty much like in canon, the one to see rhaenyra despairing over something and take a rash decision and fuck it even worse would be daemon. so daemon sees rhaenyra arguing with jaacerys constantly about lucerys and decides to step in. he contacts lady misery, a past lover and the chief redactor of the most notorious gossip twitter and instagram diary, silk diaries, and asks her to post the compromising pictures she must have of jacaerys from his many escapades to the north and make it look like it's happening as of now. for a price, lady misery complies and releases the pictures from a year ago and makes it look like it's happening right now.

jace, who didn't even tell cregan about his drunken make out session with his sister doesn't have any proof to defend himself, and knows his relationship with lucerys is in real danger. that's probably why he sounds so desperate to contact lucerys, because he knows his younger brother is really insecure and that he's been fed lies about jace's hookups by their parents and aemond (who wants to see them break up so bad). it doesn't help the fact that jace knows lucerys knows how many people jace has fucked over the years and that it can probably make sense in lucerys' mind.

lucerys knows his brother and deep in his heart knows that he wouldn't hurt him like that, so jace has to be telling the truth. however, because he's still insecure and hurt, and because lucerys is a little, revengeful shit, and cannot cope with jacaerys thinking he's a child, he hits right where it hurts jace the most ;)

jace comes home the next day and they have angry sex. like, super angry sex. because lucerys is angry at jace for sleeping with girls before him (*rolls eyes*) and jace is so fucking mad lucerys made him fucking grovel and sound "pathetic" over text and cannot stand the idea of lucerys running to aemond (like, that makes him rabid). so they fuck like beasts for hours and hours, break the bed and probably end up with lucerys knocked up 🫢 this all came because i wanted to picture them having hate sex/angry sex without them actually hating each other...

My brilliant talented baby!!!

These edits are insanely well done 🤩. I am in awe. It’s such a great story telling medium.

It’s so funny you went with the supposed cheating angle, because as I was thinking of the modern AU featuring the twins, I had the same thought, wondering what pushed Luke into Aemond’s arms and away from Jace. My mind, much like yours, landed on suspected/fabricated cheating.

Their texts are exactly the kind of argument I’d imagine they would have, particularly with Jace being so desperate to know Luke is okay. Only for the utter heartbreak of seeing him flaunting about with Aemond to sink in like a knife to the heart.

Much like you I think Jace would be rabid upon his return. I think Luke might play really hard to get, might even put up some protests, physically or otherwise.

(Potentially even bordering on some super undernegotiated CNC 🫣)

They’re a mess of bite marks and tears and torn skin and bloodied nails when the deed is done, and Lucerys had made a mantra of the words “I hate you”, yet as they lay on the aftermath (not afterglow - it looks like a fucking crime scene) he mutters, “I hate you…for leaving me.”

Jace, the king of aftercare, would leave once more, albeit briefly, to gather supplies to clean them both up. As he’s wiping Luke down with a warm, damp rag, he’d murmur, “So do I, baby.”

Luke hates the idea of them being on poor terms though, he literally cries over it and Jace hushes him with numerous, tender kisses.

“I know you’d never cheat, I know it,” Luke would babble, clinging to his brother’s shoulders.

“It’s just seeing those pictures, J, it was like something came over me-“

His brother kisses him again, softer, smiling. Grazes the back of his knuckles against the bruised state of his brother’s hips.

“I know the feeling.”

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Good evening S :3

I’m new to writing rpf, but I love ur stuff and decided to shoot my shot.

Chris who decides to wear some rings to spice up a premiere outfit. He doesn’t think much of it, other than it giving him something to fidget with when things get a bit hectic. However, he notices halfway through that Sebastian is acting… differently. Not worryingly so, but just enough to get Chris’s attention. It’s only when they get back to the hotel room that he realizes what’s been wrong. Sebastian is fucking rabid over his rings. He’s begging, fucking crying, pleading with Chris to please touch him with the rings on.

“Please, Chris! Please, fuck, I need it. Been drivin’ me crazy all night, but I’ve been good. Been y’re good boy. Please, Sir!” Sebastian is so needy and is burying his head in the nape of Chris’s neck.

So when Chris finally gives him what he wants, finally gets him off, Sebastian is just insane. Screaming for his Sir, telling him how good it feels (when he can talk, his brain is too foggy and pleasure drunk to talk most of the time), and just making the most obscene noises.

And when Chris finally lets his good boy cum, Sebastian is immediately boneless and out of it. Curling into his boyfriend’s chest and murmuring in Romanian. Chris takes off the rings (now wet with pre), and kisses his baby all over, whispering little words of love to him.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away, but I hope that’s okay :)

Aw, thank you for shooting your shot! No worry about getting carried away, I Am Here For It. Thank you for this 😘

We're all fucking feral over Chris' hands and whenever he wears rings, we all collectively lose it, so... I can't fucking IMAGINE what poor Sebastian would be going through.

Pleading, melting, crying for those hands, damn fucking right 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[bigger-rat]

(Pls don’t put this in the f.hr tags cause I don’t want to bring up bad memories for ppl) but I remember when things were imploding and that one group (you know the one) literally scrambling for things to make the game problematic to cover up the fact that they were just angry that the author wouldn’t cater to them and agree with their bullshit shipping discourse (they’re all self proclaimed ‘antis’ whatever that means and the author didn’t understand what that was and when the author didn’t blindly agree with it and take a position in the bullshit shipping discourse they all turned on them, they might try to cover and say that they don’t like the game or creator anymore for a different reason that doesn’t sound as stupid but THATs literally the base of why the fandom implosion happened. Because of bullshit shipping discourse agshjd)

BUT anyway the funniest thing they tried to claim was that sidestep, the 30 year old MC, was grooming Herald… a 25 year old man going on 26. Do you remember that?? Am I going crazy?? They definitely tried to claim that aghdjd god I’m dying laughing right now while remembering this. They were so desperate

I won’t lie I am forever bitter at them because they sent the author tons of death threats and hate mail & then acted like the author had some sort of responsibility towards them (the entitlement from them was and still is crazyyy) when the author was also sick w covid and had job and financial insecurity due to covid complications and *god forbid* didn’t want to and probably couldn’t physically handle their fandom wank, and then they acted like the author was the Literal Devil for taking care of themselves

Everything honestly has a silver lining though because the writing quality has just absolutely skyrocketed since the authors time on tumblr, and I feel like without that much needed break that the author took due to all the stress that book 2 wouldn’t have been nearly as good as it is now. The author also appears to be thriving now, which is awesome. Sometimes we need a painful journey to have a happy ending :D

(Sorry to vomit in your inbox like this lmfao)

No lol you're right and you should say it.

What they did to Malin was VILE. They were nothing but kind to the community, they appreciated every piece of fanart people made, were active in the community, they let us play bits of book 2 long before it was out. And these rabid fans literally bullied them out of the fandom.

The author shouldn't have so publicly do things for a specific few friends IMO, not because it's inherently bad but because everyone is insane on this website and that was a ticking time bomb.

And then, god forbid, someone came up with a compelling but problematic sidestep/herald ship (COUGH smute COUGH), and the author liked it, and how DARE they like a problematic relationship in a story about a LITERAL FUCKING VILLAIN. The pearl-clutching is unimaginable.

I don't remember people saying that Herald is being groomed lol but I do remember people going off on power dynamics and how it's an abusive relationship and like. Yes, the romantic relationship in the game where you invade people's minds and also constantly beat your friends/lovers into a bloody pulp are.. a little problematic! Grow the fuck up and go watch steven universe or something.

Imagine reading a book about a literal SUPER VILLAIN and being shocked that they're a bad person who has toxic relationships. Just fucking imagine that. The book in which you routinely kidnap people's bodies without their consent and invade their minds? Problematic?? Wooow.

I'm sad that Malin got chased out of the community but I hope they can sleep better now that they, a 40-50 year old person with a job and a life, don't have to navigate the kindergarten drama of some terminally online zoomers and their shitty shipping fantasies.

[casspurrjoybell-28]

The Alpha's Addiction - Chapter 46 - Part 2

*Warrning Adult Content*

Burn - Cyrus

When I leave the dinner early, claiming fatigue, Beau takes it upon himself to follow after me.

I can only imagine our mothers giggling together about how sweet we are for each other.

I hear him trotting behind me as I walk back to my office and am tempted to put a hole through the oak desk.

Instead, I lean against it and run a hand through my hair, bracing myself for whatever shit that annoying mouth of his is sure to spew.

"Did you still want me to tell you Koa's little secret?" he chirps, splaying his body across the sofa, attempting some kind of pose.

He's had one too many glasses of wine.

"Is there something to tell? Was it not just a ploy for our parents to catch us kissing?"

He twirls a curl around his finger, an aggravating smile coming to his lips.

"Well, that's not all it was. I only have the best intentions for us, Cyrus. Sometimes you just need a little... push in the right direction."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs.

"Koa played a mean trick on me, letting me hear it as you fucked him. So I got him back with a trick of my own."

I frown.

What the hell is he talking about?

"Beau, just spit it out, already."

He laughs drunkenly, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"You really don't know your own mate's handwriting?"

I freeze.

Handwriting?

Koa's writing?

What does he...?

Then it hits me.

Hits me like a ton of bricks.

The note.

The letter Koa left me, ending things for good after I took his heat.

The letter I believed because of the pattern of my mate's past rejections.

"I even wore gloves and rubbed his worn clothing all over the paper to make it smell like him. I'm so clever, aren't I? You should really be thanking me."

Koa didn't write it.

Koa didn't write it and I left him.

I left him, alone and vulnerable after fucking him like a rabid beast.

After knotting him repeatedly, the most intense mating ritual there is because it leaves an Omega sore and in need of care from their Alpha and I fucking left him because of a note I thought he wrote because I was so damn gullible.

I can blame it on exhaustion, heartbreak... whatever... that doesn't change what I did. I left him like that.

Then I ignored him because I thought that was what he wanted.

Moon Goddess knows what Koa's already been through and I took what my wolf craved and left him, open and raw and filled with my essence, like he was nothing more than an object to use and dump.

I am never going to forgive myself.

I must be the biggest failure of an Alpha, of a mate, that there is.

"Now don't you get upset with me. I did you a favor, Cyrus. Things were getting nowhere with him. Now you can focus on our mate union. How it was meant to be."

I turn to him, jaw and fists tight with the wrath overtaking me.

This little cunt from hell...

"Wait... Wait.... don't you want to hear Koa's secret first?" he stutters nervously.

"The truth about him is..."

"CYRUS. CYRUS."

My spine goes rigid as I immediately recognize it's Oliver screaming for me beyond the walls of my office.

Before I can react, the boy bursts through the double doors, face flushed with exertion and streaming with tears and snot.

My eyes widen.

His arms... they're tied behind his back...

"Desmond took Mama."

His chest wracks with heavy sobs.

"He's taking him back there. Back to that bad man. The one that hurt Mama."

I swear I feel my heart drop to my stomach.

Never have I felt terror like this.

Pure, icy terror, deep in my gut.

"Who? Who is he taking Koa to?"

Oliver whimpers.

"My real dad. Alpha Zacan of the Blood Pack."

Suddenly it all makes sense.

Who Koa and Oliver were running from when I first found them in the forest.

Why they were so scared, so distrusting.

'Alpha Zacan of the Blood Pack.'

Zacan took Koa.

Zacan hurt him and for that, he is going to burn.

[sems-diarie]

fem!reader x deku + fem!reader x katsuki

“you know, izuku,” katsuki pretends a somber mood when he says it. he tries to hide the way his mouth desperately wants to curl into a cruel smirk.

“you’re fucking sick,” the blond hero spits. deku’s eyes go wide, his broad shoulders squaring.

“she’ll hate your twisted guts when she finds out,” katsuki continues. “she’ll be humiliated, you perverted fuck. probably won’t speak to your sorry ass for weeks.”

“poor idiot might even come crying to me about it, and what else am i s’posed to do ‘cept let her weep it out? should i tell miss thing the number one hero milks his dick to her like a fucking rabid animal?”

deku whimpers. flat out whimpers at the implication, at the outright admission. he squeezes restlessly at the roots of his bushy green curls. “you choose now of all times to be a snitch?!”

“i’ll show you a snitch, you dirty, fist-fucking—,”

“i’m not..! you don’t understand, kacchan.”

deku takes a breath, straightening up and daring to look his life-long best friend in the eye. even after having been caught with a.. cum-filled flashlight of their sweet, unassuming third. “she’s—amazing, a super capable and strong and admirable hero,” he squeaks.

katsuki doesn’t miss a beat, “oh, so that’s why you fuck that raunchy fleshlight and cum buckets in it like a monster? i mean, who even approved this shitty fucking design? you’re humping yourself dumb and sobbing when you cum dry—because she’s cool.”

izuku is steaming, whistling out and crimson at the ears while katsuki berates him. his brother rants at him—izuku is gross, and the prissy princess would choke izuku out on her own when katsuki tells her. katsuki even flat out laughs; at some point, the blond hero scans deku’s mortified tears and just cannot hold it together even one second longer. katsuki nearly doubles over with the weight of benign joy, barking out heartily. right in izuku’s face.

“s’not funny,” izuku pouts, eyebrows pinched tight. “you’re nothing but a dickhead.”

“if she has any good sense, she’ll find you as laughably pathetic as i do,” katsuki offers. the man grins, even, when he says it. all teeth, all fang, and a pink tongue. “god, maybe you should thank her? i’ll bet she gets you through your week like nothing else, pervert. bet you pull up your text messages with her while you fuck your favorite little toy? you’re a sen-ti-men-tal kind of freak, deku. how long have have you even had that thing?”

“oh, i’ll bet you know all about sentimental items, kacchan.”

katsuki jerks straight up, pointing a finger at deku’s freckled face. “shut your mouth—!”

izuku squares his jaw, hotly holding katsuki’s gaze with his own wild eyes. “i saw you take her panties last week. stole ‘em right out of her drawer, didn’t you?! and for what, i can only imagine. would you fill in that blank for me, please? for all of us?”

“and you were so comfortable about it, hm?” deku pushes and pushes and pushes. “didn’t sweet thing say somethin’ about her clothes goin’ missin’? hm? she’ll be happy to know this noble hero c-caught the dirty sicko!”

izuku has the nerve to lament, to look mournful and puppy-like when digs the knife into katsuki further. “she’ll be devastated to know it was her favorite hero of all time, stealing pocketfuls of her cute little panties to wring his balls in—,”

katsuki glares through deku’s skull. his pouty lips pucker tight, like a sour taste has wrung his tongue. his cheeks flame pink with splotches. he grinds his teeth together for a second or two, so caught up in all the different ways he could gouge deku’s eyes out—but catches himself.

“fine.” katsuki breaks bread.

a single, deep breath. on both ends.

“we’re both..,” katsuki starts again.

“we’re just..,” izuku clicks his tongue. wracks his brain a bit before he sends katsuki a bright, sheepish smile. “members of the fan club. some really, really intense… members…”

katsuki scoffs.

“right. that’s what we are. more intense than most, i suspect.”

the two of them shift uncomfortably in light of these new revelations about each other. silently, they eventually find themselves cursing you—misguidedly, of course.

“i mean,” katsuki coughs to clear his throat, “that piece of plastic was so fucking full, man. how’d you fill it so damn deep? there was a fuckin’—a fuckin’ puddle on the floor beneath it! a filthy fuckin’ puddle of your hot, slimy jizz, deku. and why was the hole fucking gaped open?!”

“enough, katsuki!”

“some fan boy you are,” katsuki snorts. “i’m just surprised you didn’t break the stupid thing.”

izuku shifts silently under katsuki’s watchful eye. the man’s knees fall open as he adjusts his seat at the trough of his bed. katsuki stands, rather icked, a few feet away.

“…i—,” deku clears his throat. “the—eee, um. the handle is broken. i fear i might have to return for a n-new one.”

“twisted fuck,” katsuki shakes his head at the man before him. blond eyebrows raise high as katsuki grins monstrously. “usin’ all that strength on a pocket pussy? i’ll never let you get your hands on her.”

katsuki is quiet again, for a beat. deku has just enough time to resent the accusation—he’d never break you. you know that—you mock izuku for being so thoroughly gentle with you all the time.

and then katsuki asks, “when do you think you’re gonna go?”

deku hangs his head, silently howling in an inconceivable amount of humiliation. “i was.. on my way out before you stormed in like a—like some kinda bat from hell.”

katsuki blinks. “on your way out with a pile of nut on your bathroom floor?”

“it’s—the shop’s not, uh, far. not when i fly, anyways.”

“flying for some pocket pussy,” katsuki repeats.

izuku’s chest clenches tight when his beloved homeboy sounds less surprised at the confession; instead, the grunt katsuki makes is one of a man whom of which has had his brilliant suspicions and inferences confirmed.

“how the fuck are you so pussy whipped without the pussy?”

“shut up,” izuku snaps. “put ur boots back on if you’re coming.”

pro hero deku has a fleshlight of you. it’s off brand hero merch from some shady corner of his city. it had caught him by surprise, he hadn’t been looking for it.

well, izuku hadn’t been looking for a fleshlight with.. you on it. it’s a tasteful design—he blames that, of all things, when he decides to slap a one hundred dollar bill on the register and scurry away without making eye contact with anyone.

snooping around where he shouldn’t be, katsuki finds it—used, dear god!—and threatens to tell you, their beloved, angel-dearest friend, about it every time deku does something to even mildly piss him off.

[cambriancruelty]

it's amazing y0u run this bl0g, pretending t0 be the victim, when y0u p0is0ned s0me0ne against his inn0cent m0irail and rightful culler, then st0le him away f0r y0ur 0wn.

CAMBRIAN: hello? Why the fuck are you on this account?

CAMBRIAN: Let’s take this message in order because there’s a lot of bullshit in this ask to wade through

CAMBRIAN: First of all,“pretending to be the victim”? Have you met me? I am very aware of my generalised awfulness. I make no pretence on that matter. And I don’t post about this situation at all, because you’re not important enough to be anything but a footnote, so this opening is pathetic and inaccurate.

CAMBRIAN: Now as for your next point, if you are who I think you are, it is one of my grandest regrets that I didn’t go to the effort of “poisoning” your victim against you. Maybe he would’ve gotten away sooner. Unfortunately for everyone involved, it took a bit longer, since he took a little time to realise you were a fucking monster and a creep and put a bullet between your eyes about it. Once again, you betray lack of understanding of what actually happened, and also come across as rather a whiny little bitch.

CAMBRIAN: On the subject of your supposed “innocence”, you manipulated and hurt someone I value an incredible amount, and tormented him in a way that’s left lasting psychological scarring. Furthermore, you did everything you were accused of! None of it was untrue, you just didn’t want him to resist you. Your hands are not clean, no matter how much you pretend. You were a predator and a monster and I am glad you were put down like the rabid dog you are, now stop your yapping about it and go back to rotting alone in a dream bubble for eternity. Or better yet, do all of us a favour and curl up and double-die. I’m not going to write up a proper refutation of this one. Go fuck yourself

CAMBRIAN: And finally, on the topic of stealing him, you’re a fucking idiot. I have not stolen him for myself. He is his own, a wonderful person with his own interests and life and skills, none of which you get to see. He allows me and several other people the privilege of knowing him, a thing I am grateful for to this day, but he belongs to himself, utterly and entirely. He has gotten to live past the things you’ve done, built a life for himself. And you will never get to know the person he’s become, because you were nothing but a monster who controlled him for your own sadistic whims, and now he’s gotten away from your influence and is surrounded by people who actually care about him.

CAMBRIAN: this ask was idiotic, arrogant and not even accurate. You have an eternity of your pathetic and monstrous soul withering away ahead of you, use it to write a better one maybe? Or just grow up and accept that you lost, you tried to control and manipulate someone and he (deservedly) killed you for it.

CAMBRIAN: tell me, did it hurt when you died? I hope so. I hope it was agony, I hope the shot wasn’t clean and you bled out. I hope you know the worst pain imaginable, so that when I finally get my fucking hands on you I can match it. You hurt someone I cherish, and if you so much as try to crawl your pathetic corpse back into his or any of our lives, I guarantee I’ll find for you a fate worse than you can imagine.

CAMBRIAN: In short:

GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG AND DIE IN A HOLE YOU BITCH ASS WHORE

CAMBRIAN: :) (:

[simplyholl]

A MONTH?!

Me every night for real.

Steve is such a buzzkill. I did his birth chart cuz I just had to know and it was surprisingly air dominate. 🤣 Mine is too.. please let me know if I’m ever that annoying 😬

Thor is so funny in this one. Sticking his ass out when he gets out of the car and ignoring you completely when giving out compliments!

I just know that Loki was pumped when Steve told him to make up with you for the team.

And what is that, a fucking negligee?

That line took me out 🤣🤣

I just imagine him on Ru Paul’s Drag Race and she’s all “You better work, bitch!”

Ahh the slutty caftan 🥵🔥

The women with their tits out!!! 🤣 how can I be Agent and these women at the same time?!

"Damn this spherical assassin." he roared. "Get thee from my sight!"

I just imagined you saying this in your Thor voice and it took me out! 🤣

Thor losing his dick! You are so funny! Thor watching Loki pull bitches during that time. 🤣

As smooth as Carrera marble. Heyy shout out @coldnique

"And yet you know very well that I am partial to a little erotic asphyxiation, Agent. I'd be happy to be on the receiving end for once."

Me looking at my baby hands that would barely wrap around his girthy dick, let alone choke him good 😭

Like I'm hiding a fucking boner.

"I wouldn't recommend fucking on sand, darling." Loki murmured casually, without moving his head. "Even magic cannot remove every grain from one's nethers."

I was just thinking you’d never get all that sand out of your cootie cat 🤣

"Is Laufeyson wearing lingerie?"

Scott's glazed eyes widened as he swayed gently, carefully lifting a finger to point directly at it. "Now that, is excessive. Am I right, fellas?"

"Take it offfff...wooo-ooo!"

I am Scott. He is me. 🤣🤣

remembering the force of which the flat of his femur would slam against the back of your leg as he mounted you like a demon

LIKE A DEMON I- HE WOULD CRACK MY BACK LIKE A GLOWSTICK I JUST KNOW IT HE COULD BLOW OUT THE SIDES OF MY VAGINA LIKE A DAMN TIRE AND I WOULD THANK HIM

Time to get wet.

Too late for that

the beautiful Amanda

Fuck, he's so fucking hot when he's a dickhead; you chided. Why? Why, God, why am I like this?

Out here asking the real questions. I’d like to know too 🤣

"Tell me to stop, Agent..."

Fuckkkk that is sooo hot!! The world could be crumbling down around us, my leg getting chewed off by rabid gorillas, brain eaten by zombies and I wouldn’t tell him to stop. 🤣

As always, I loved this!! I’m excited for the next one. Will we get that ice cream? Will he eat it off us? 🤣

Hot & Bothered [Avenger!Loki x Fem.Reader]

Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection A Link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: (13) A slutty caftan threatens to break your resolve. Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. Smuttish. Language. "Friends"w/ benefits. (w/c 4.6k)

Since the mission where Loki revealed he could see into your mind, you had stayed a rooms width from him at all times. You had no idea if it would make a difference. You hadn’t stuck around long enough to find out. But it made you feel better.

At least, that was what you told yourself.

You would admit that a month without Loki in your bed felt like twelve. But if the asshat did have the audacity to leer into your thoughts- all he would see is simmering rage. It made you feel better, knowing that. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Steve’s chevy drew carefully into a marked bay to the excited squeals of Wanda and Nat sandwiching you in the back seat. “Now ladies don’t get too excited..." Steve drawled. "Let’s all disembark in an orderly fashion.” He gently pulled up the handbrake, giving it an overcautious tug. “It’s the beach, not a bordello. Most accidents happen twenty feet from your destination and carelessness...costs lives.” He glanced over his shoulder, cocking an eyebrow judgementally at the three of you jostling in the seats like rowdy children. You pursed your lips to stifle a laugh. Only Rogers could make a day out at the beach with three half naked women in the back of his open top car into a lesson in health and safety. “Yes, Sir.” Wanda said reverently, as you and Nat begin to shake with silent laughter. Steve frowned, his next remark interrupted by the growling roar of an approaching engine. A green Jaguar swung into the bay beside the chevy screeching to a halt against the tarmac with a furious skid. Steve’s frown deepened. “Remind me who taught Laufeyson to drive, again?” You rolled your eyes, avoiding the sight that was about to present itself. “May we disembark now?” you sniped, trying to stay the urgency in your voice. “Yes Ma’am.” he replied, keeping his eyes fixed on the doors of the Jag opening in sync. The men inside unfurled from the car one by one like movie stars. Thor straightened first from the passenger door, flicking his blonde hair back over bare, bronzed skin. He swung a gym bag with a towel hanging out over one engorged shoulder, throwing Nat a subtle wink as he turned and slammed the door shut. You could have sworn he was sticking his ass out. Wilson tipped you and the girls a nod, sliding a pair of sunglasses on as he turned appraisingly towards the beach. “Got out usual spot cordoned off?” he said solemnly. Steve nodded, as Wanda piped up. “I’ve still to enchant the barriers. but they’re aware.” Sam nodded, as your eyes wandered to Loki at the other side of the Jaguar. He ascended from the driver’s seat like an aftershave advert, running a hand through loose, glossy hair. The trademark black suit he had chosen was incredibly out of place. But what else would Loki Laufeyson wear at the the beach? you thought abrasively, realising too late that you were staring. Even in profile, he was devastatingly handsome. His arrogance set in a glacial expression as he observed the beckoning flats and dunes with distaste. The god screwed up his eyes towards the sun, brow furrowed before a theatrical snap of his fingers made the driver door swung shut unaided with a muffled slap. “How do we look, Thor?” Wanda cooed, standing and placing her hands on her hips. Red hair fell around her shoulders, trailing down to the curve of her bikini-clad cleavage. “Both you and Romanoff look incandescently buxom this fine day. A delight for the eyes and the imagination.” he growled, leaning a ham-sized forearm on the roof of the Jag. Wilson smacked him in the stomach.

“What about her?” Nat scoffed, waggling a thumb in your direction. Thor flushed, readjusting the bag resting on his shoulder as his eyes searched frantically for something to focus on. “Come, Wilson, Banner...and Lang, do not forget the ardent spirits!" he shouted as he jostled away, shaking his rounded ass with every step. “We must secure a prime location.” he boomed, gesturing dramatically ahead to the empty stretch of beach far too loudly to be anything less than suspicious. You rolled your eyes as the men shuffled away, bickering. “What was that about?” Nat murmured at your back as the three of you filed out of the chevy. “It’s a long story, but suffice to say its some Asgardian bullshit.” you scoffed. “So you and Loki are still...-” she started, before you cut her off. “Mortal enemies? Yah.” you snapped bluntly. Nat chuckled. “Maybe you guys are too similar.” she said, sliding on her sunglasses as Wanda raced ahead, palms glowing red. “He’s a lying, arrogant arsehole and I am nothing like him.” you mumbled, rummaging in your bag as sand sank into your flip-flops. “He’s always been those things, what changed?” Nat probed. You could tell she had her interrogation-mode on, and this was a fight you would lose. With her, you always did. You sighed. “He can-” “Agent, can I have a word?” Steve called politely behind you. Nat gave you a nod, walking on as you hovered for the captain to catch up. He jogged across the sand in a pair of salmon coloured chino shorts, every inch the frat boy who never was. Placing his hands on his hips, he came to a stop. “It’s not gone unnoticed that things have cooled between you and Laufeyson again.” He arched a brow, blue eyes full of condescending concern. “Spats like this can really upset the ol’ team spirit, you know?” You pressed your lips together, inhaling through your nose. Steve continued, unawares. “I know he’s not the easiest but...just make an effort to be pals again. He might surprise you.” “Duly noted.” you said, forcing a smile. You spun away, throwing your eyes to the sky in a silent scream. The rest of the crew had set up camp near the middle of the stretch of beach reserved for the team thanks to Tony’s coastguard connections. You walked on for another minute, flapping your towel out and throwing your bag down. A sigh rose in the thick, hot air as you felt the warmth shifting beneath your ass. Reaching for your book, a long shadow fell over the golden sand spread before you. “Agent.” You closed your eyes, willing death to take you swiftly. “Go away.” you said through gritted teeth, shoving your sunglasses on and opening your book without looking up. The yellow, tea stained pages lay flat against your crossed legs, hunched over to prevent curiosity ruining the drama of your resistance. All you could see out the corner of your eye were a pair of ridiculously toned, naked calves. You swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “Impossible, I’m afraid. I have a direct order from the boss to ‘make nice’ with you.” he quipped. You flinched as a dark green beach towel manifested, stretched neatly on the sand next to yours. “I informed him that I am always nice but apparently there are limits to the naivety of Captain Rogers. Who knew.”

You tried to focus on the words in front of you, typeface blurring as Loki’s pale body barged into your peripherary. Please don’t be wearing the skimpy, tight trunks, you thought; cursing the growing heat between your legs. It’s just the sand. It’s just the warm sand.

So, how have you been, darling?” he drawled innocently, an undertone of sarcasm tainting practised sincerity. “Fuck you, Loki.” you snarled, reading the same line of text for the sixth time. “Why don’t you just dig around in my head and find out?” Loki laughed softly. “You’re missing me, that much is obvious.” he purred. “The sexual frustration is tangible, Agent.” You inhaled sharply, head snapping to the side. All the insults and barbs on the tip of your tongue melted at the sight of him. Of course he’s wearing the fucking tight trunks, Jesus Christ, you thought; fighting to maintain stoicism. And what is that, a fucking negligee? The god’s impossibly long legs were stretched out over the edge of the towel, ankles crossed and resting on the sand. The fine hairs on his calves caught the sunlight, running up to his achingly thick thigh muscles which flexed as he adjusted his hips. Some kind of slutty caftan was wrapped around him, hanging open whoreishly around his thick, muscled torso. Luxurious sides of the garment hung to the flawless build of his body, the edges spreading out at those toned hips. The hue of his skin was visible through the cover-up, expensive silk-chiffon shimmering lightly in the afternoon rays. Gold embroidery laced the edging, the hem shifting seductively up his wide femurs as he settled back without a care in the world. The fateful pair of swim shorts clung to his upper-thighs, material cutting every-so-slightly into taut muscle. Low rise nylon skimmed the base of his Adonis belt, deep grooves of definition rolling upward to the abdomen you still felt pressing the breath from your body atop you in your dreams. Loki snickered, reclining back on his elbows. Clearly, he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. “For someone who is so appalled by the very idea of my revelation, you certainly are resistant to discovering the solution. And there is a solution, Agent.” “Does it involved you monologuing?” you hissed under your breath as Steve sauntered past towards the larger group, subtley side-eyeing you both. You flashed a strained smile in his direction, continuing through gritted teeth. “Because I don’t think I have sufficient will to live to spare.” Loki lay back against the towel, a pair of classic Ray Bans manifesting over his eyes. He raised his arms, slotting them casually behind his head as he tilted his chin towards to the sun. “In my experience, a monologue vastly improves the quality of any conversation, Agent.” You frowned. “But no one else can get a word in.” you snapped blankly. “Precisely.” he smirked. There was a pause. “That caftan looks stupid.” you sniffed, petulantly. Loki said nothing, the ghost of a smile flickering at his dimples. Your reluctant stare ran over the bulge of his biceps, carved and ferocious beneath the feminine allure of the chiffon. A flank of loose black hair haloed his head, spilling over those broad shoulders and spreading in loose waves against his collarbone. The muscles there flexed as he adjusted himself, arching his back before settling into position. The edges of the sensual robe fell to the sides of his thick trunk, the sight of his defined obliques hitting you like a truck.

You looked back to your book quickly as he raised his head, interest piqued by a high pitched noise over by Wanda’s forcefield.

“Oh look, Agent. Your fans are here.” he drawled, gesturing lazily to the side. Your eyes flew up, immediately seeing twenty hysterical looking women shamelessly trying to bypass the security barricade down the beach. Three of them had their tits out, t-shirts held high in your direction. “I think they’re for you, actually.” you replied coldly, returning to your novel. He lowered his sunglasses, giving a polite wave. “Oh, so they are. My mistake.” he quipped, lying back down with a telltale smirk curling his lip. A minute passed in awkward silence. “Are you really just going to lie there?” you said, irritation seeping through the words as you re-read the same line over and over. “Are you really going to pretend to read that book and summon most tedious images you can muster to avoid my mildly telepathic endeavours?” he countered. You slammed the book closed, twisting towards him as he continued. “Darling, I’m delighted to inform you that you aren’t interesting enough to ignite the phenomenon most of the time.” Your jaw clenched, a growl building as you glared at him through your sunglasses with a futile waste of a death-stare. “Are you alright Agent? You seem perturbed.” he said with mock-innocence, offering a concerned tilt of his head.

“I’m fine.” you replied, a little higher pitched than you’d intended. “It’s your brother whose lost it.” Loki clucked, letting his head fall back with an amused sigh. Tendrils of hair nestled between his shoulder-blades, the fairness of his luminescent skin making your eyes water with reluctant desire. “It makes no difference if you are mine physically. Between he and I, you belong to me.” “Uh huh.” you grunted, feeling your heart beat faster. Disinterest. Hold it together, idiot. You cleared your throat. “What if I told you I was madly in love with your brother and would positively die without him?” The two of you looked up, just at the moment a large inflatable ball smacked Thor in the mouth with a loud slap. He stood dazed for a moment, before his fists clenched. “Damn this spherical assassin.” he roared. "Get thee from my sight!" He attempted to kick it away, and missed. Loki fought to retain his composure. “Well firstly, I would have you medically assessed.” he smirked, before melting to a frown. His voice deepened, regal gravitas seeping through. “In truth he would be forced to decline or face the eternal judgement of the Asgardian Elderbook. I can assure you that it is not an experience he wishes to repeat.” You let out a puff of air, scoffing heartily. “So he’s broken your Most Assyoor-red Oath before.” you mocked. “Nothing stopping him doing it again, clearly its a slap on the wrist.”

Loki chuckled, rolling his neck in a semi circle and letting out a low, sensual groan as something clicked. “My brother lives in abject terror that any attention towards you may be construed as an attempt to undermine the Oath’s hold.” he murmured casually, pausing for effect. “In truth, he had his manly appendage removed from his form for a millennia the last time he forswore the Oath of Most Ass-ure-red Recompense.” the god hummed, pointing his toes and digging them into the sand. “I was there for the enchantment. It was quite something. Even for a god, a millennia is not an insubstantial amount of-” “Wait, he didn’t have a cock for like a thousand years?” you gasped, scouring around to make sure no one was in earshot. Loki shrugged. “Indeed. As smooth as Carrera marble. I may have pulled a few strings as I am known to do, Agent. In the end he only served six hundred.” “Explains why he’s such a relentless pervert.” you mumbled, catching sight of Thor jogging along the shoreline with Wanda hoisted over his shoulders. “Quite.” Loki said solemnly. “But the boon was that I gained his Oath by coming to his aid...eventually-” “-which you wasted on me.” you finished bitterly, concentrating on Wanda screeching with hysterical laughter as Thor threw her in the air like a doll. A wave of envy surged in your belly. If only Loki wasn’t such a wanker, you thought. Your unwelcome companion sat up on the beach-towel, the crunch of his sickeningly defined abs visible in your periphery. He leant his face over your shoulder, the heat from his skin so close to yours feeling warmer than the pulsing sun. “You say wasted, I say...invested, Agent.” You swallowed, trying to think of anything in this moment other than Loki flipping you over on the sand and grinding his solid torso against your keening body. Shit, you thought; as the mental image of his sandy hair flipping over those achingly hot shoulders filled your mind. Your thighs squeezing around his hips as he dragged himself against your own. His fingers curling around the edge of the towel as he fell apart inside your hot cun- “The ‘Offs are staring.” Loki sneered, nodding towards a conspiratorial looking Nat and Wanda hunched together casting unsubtle glances in your direction. Lang broke out the tequila already, you thought with a grimace. A coy smile pressed against Loki’s dimples as he watched your cheeks flush. “They’re just impressed I’ve not choked you yet.” you said, aimlessly turning the page of your book while you feigned disinterest. “Ah.” Loki breathed, resting back on his elbows again. “And yet you know very well that I am partial to a little erotic asphyxiation, Agent. I’d be happy to be on the receiving end for once.” You let out a ragged sigh, clenching wetly beneath your bikini bottoms. Wayward grains of sand stuck to your inner thighs, a mix of anxious sweat and arousal combining under the lightest of flirtatious interrogation. You snapped the book closed, placing it pointedly over your crotch. Like I'm hiding a fucking boner. “I’m surprised you told them of our dalliances, actually.” Loki continued, un-phased. “Considering how absolutely loathsome you find it all.” he purred, drawing his muscled knees upwards, feet flat against the towel. The perfect position to straddle him, you thought; gaze lingering on the mouth-watering bulge protruding from the tight trunks. “It was a slow news day.” you muttered, shaded eyes running over the landscape of his hips, up the valley of rippling abs.

How you wanted to feel him harden through the twin, thin nylon strips of your swimsuits. Feel his meaty erection inflating against your messy, hot slit begging to be filled. How you would rub against it; the flushed, swollen nerves that missed his every moan, his every lick, every thrum of his talented fingers.

Loki’s sharp jawline was pointed to the sky, the sweep of his cheekbones accentuated by dark wayfarers that concealed any indication of interest. Silence, at last. There was a pause. “I wouldn’t recommend fucking on sand, darling.” Loki murmured casually, without moving his head. “Even magic cannot remove every grain from one’s nethers.” Without thinking, you smacked his thigh with your book, making him flinch. “Ow.” he growled, immediately springing to his knees, looming above you. Curls fell back in a black curtain behind his ears as he slid the Ray Bans into his hair. Those smouldering eyes bore into yours, flashing menacingly beneath a fluttering fan of dark lashes. “Be careful, Agent." he purred darkly. "That was dangerously close to flirting.” You shivered. “You wouldn’t want to give me the wrong idea, would you?” he growled, cupping the side of your neck with one sand dusted hand. His thumb rubbed the angle of your jaw once. Twice. “Stop...reading...my..mind, asshole.” you enunciated slowly through gritted teeth. The line of your vision which had begun at his chest, rose inch by inch to meet his. “Would that I could, Agent.” he murmured, as you heard the sound of muffled footsteps approaching at a run. “But you see...that depends on you. And you won’t hear it.” Loki’s brows slanted thoughtfully, as time ran out. “What happened? You guys...cool?” Wilson shouted warily, every thunder of his long legs on the sand beside Nat making your stomach twist as you jumped to your feet. “Fine.” you said bluntly, seeing Rogers flushed face jogging close behind them as you began dusting sand from your legs. “Who fancies a swim?” you said flatly, looking between Wilson and Natasha. “What an inspired idea.” Loki said, gracefully rising to his feet. With a tilt of his head, the sand which had worked its way beneath his fine body hair; the golden grains which had nestled into his curls, all fell in magnetic synchronicity with a gentle hiss to the towel. You rolled your eyes. “Come on.” you grumbled, yanking Nat behind you towards the ocean. Trying to keep your attention on the shoreline despite the hum of conversation behind, Natasha was wise enough not to ask questions. The larger group drew closer, the bottle of liquor in Scott’s hand glinting as he teetered on his feet. You stopped beside him, refusing his offer of the hooch. Steve and Sam stripped their t-shirts, throwing them on a growing pile of discarded clothing. “Is Laufeyson wearing lingerie?” Scott hissed loudly to Wilson. Sam scrunched his face, a theatrical grimace stretched across his features as he turned with an incredulous shake of his head. “It’s called style, Lang. I wouldn’t expect one so chronically under-endowed as you to appreciate that.” Loki drawled, making a show of drawing back the chiffon and placing his hands on his cut hips. “It is kind of excessive.” Banner chimed with a hint of jealousy. You watched every stare lower to the bulge in his tight swimwear on full display. Scott’s glazed eyes widened as he swayed gently, carefully lifting a finger to point directly at it.

“Now that, is excessive. Am I right, fellas?” he slurred, jovially elbowing an increasingly beleaguered looking Wilson in the chest.

Your eyes combed up Loki’s long legs, each hot slice of muscle flashing into view as he shifted his stance. His fingertips dug into the long lines of his hips, haughtily observing his would-be critics. Always needing a reaction, you sneered; coveting every inch of tantalisingly forbidden skin. You licked your lips, biting the bottom one as Loki’s abdominals clenched. The caftan fluttered in the breeze, grazing the backs of his knees as he stood silently, absorbing their reluctant admiration. How his thighs were so unnaturally carved you would never understand. Your own squeezed together, remembering the force of which the flat of his femur would slam against the back of your leg as he mounted you like a demon. The sound of skin slapping, rasping groans becoming louder as he found his release in you. As he found himself. Thor’s voice broke your daze, blinking as you realised that you too, had succumbed to the inconveniently hypnotic draw of Loki’s crotch. “Can we disperse with the talk of my brother’s various accoutrements and protrusions?” Thor muttered, pulling at his own shorts. “I have it on good authority that beneath those bathing pants he possesses nothing special.” Loki whipped round, the caftan swirling dramatically. “Careful brother. For one in such a tenuous position, I would not recommend you become judgemental on the manhoods of others.” he sneered, teeth bared. “Need I elaborate?” Thor swallowed, his cheeks paling as you bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “Alrighty.” Steve clapped his hands awkwardly, before ushering the stunned looking group closer to the sea. “Everybody in the water. Time to get wet, come now...let’s go. Time to cool off.” The splashes of half a dozen muscle-laden bodies sounded around you as you waded forward alone, welcoming the crisp coolness of the sea rising against your thighs. Thor ran past, knees high before diving head first into the surf. The resulting wave hit you in the chest, making you gasp. Flecks of salty water stuck to your lips, licked away thoughtlessly as the sea level grew deeper. You squatted, letting yourself begin to float, breathing deeply. “I hate to mention it…” You grimaced towards the horizon as Steve’s saccharine tone floated over your shoulder. “...but about that little snaffoo row-de-tow...I hope that I can still count on you to give it the ol’ college try with you-know-who.” “It’s complicated Steve.” you said through gritted teeth, kicking your feet forward and floating on your back. He looked down at you sceptically, his blonde hair blindingly bright in the direct sunlight. Like an angel, you thought. An innocent, irritating angel. “I’m no ninny." Steve scoffed with uncharacteristic bite. "I have my suspicions you and Laufeyson share more than just the occasional ride, if you know what I mean.” he hissed, scanning for eavesdroppers. His cheeks flushed. "The motorcycles, I meant the...listen- pull it together. There are lives at stake.” You snorted defiantly. “The only life at stake is Laufeyson’s if he doesn’t-” “-If he doesn’t what, Agent?”

You floundered, face submerged in water before you spluttered to the surface. The seabed grazed your toes as you found yourself upright again, wiping salt water from your eyes with the back of your hand. Steve looked between you with one brow arched, his steely glare leaving you under no doubt to his feelings on the matter. Loki descended deeper into the gently lapping waves, water parting around his muscled knees as he sashayed elegantly into the chill without a flinch. The caftan billowed around his hips, ballooning backwards in the breeze with a regal sway. He shrugged the fabric from his shoulders, a static of erotically charged electricity making it cling to his skin as you watched it inch slowly down. When the teasing fold of material fell past his biceps, he whipped it off in one well-placed swoop of his hand before the lower hem had a chance to touch water. “Take it offfff...wooo-ooo!” Scott yelled animatedly, before Wanda splashed him in the face. “S-spring b-break!” he choked between splutters, fists raised to the sky. You couldn’t take your eyes off Loki, your chin dipping to your chest as he drew closer. He threw the chiffon cover-up high into the air with a flourish, where it spread like a wild, black bird; fluttering in a spasm before vanishing into nothing. Scott ooo’ed. At least it didn’t burst into flames this time, you thought sourly, remembering your red dress he reduced to tatters with his teeth and hands. He must save that for other peoples clothes. Splashes of seawater dripped from Loki’s lower stomach over his hips, the veins of his forearms standing erect as he rolled his shoulders with a casual sigh. Trying to keep your face neutral was a mammoth task, as your eyes crawled down his solid chest to his swaggering hips in those tight little trunks. You needed fucked. Badly. But not by- You sucked in your cheeks, biting hard to stop the thought in its tracks as he drew closer. Water stilled around Loki's naval as he came to a stop, forming a triangle with you and a grim-faced Rogers. “I’m sure what my colleague was trying to ineloquently convey, was that we were simply jesting.” Loki hummed politely, dipping his hands in the water and running them past his temples. Dry tendrils hung temptingly over the ropes of muscle by his collarbone, the rogue smattering of moisture on his cheekbones making him glisten in the sun. The god cocked an eyebrow, tilting his chin down and casting a teasing glance up at a pink-faced Steve. “You needn’t be so serious all the time, Rogers.” Loki smirked at the boss while you clenched desperately beneath the merciful cover of nature. “Do you concur, Agent?” he purred, winking imperceptibly as Steve cleared his throat. You had to admit, under the circumstances, it was the lesser of two evils. “Right. Yeah, sorry Steve” you sighed reluctantly. “I was just being…-” “-Facetious.” Loki finished. “She enjoys goading me, Rogers. It really is rather annoying. But she makes up for it in other ways, don’t you Agent?” he said innocently. There was an expectant pause. Steve's eyes narrowed, as you suddenly wished a freak riptide would carry you far away from these idiots. Loki cleared his throat, stifling a laugh. “Being a good student during my lessons, talking me up to shareholders...the beautiful Amanda, for instance and so on.” He waved a hand limply as he talked, the casual condescension making your stomach clench.

Fuck, he’s so fucking hot when he’s a dickhead; you chided. Why? Why, God, why am I like this?

Steve’s eyes pin-balled between the two of you. He folded his arms, the heated flush of his reddening skin looking comical beside Loki’s uniform creamy perfection. “I don’t want a sniff of trouble out of you for the rest of the day.” he said haughtily, narrowing his gaze towards Loki. “And I have a job for the two of you, since you’re pals again.” Lines appeared in Loki’s forehead as he sank chest deep into the water, dipping his head back. He emerged seconds later like a fucking tease; his hair sodden in a raven slick. Swathes of water dripped over his shoulders, rolling down the crevices between landscaped abs. His biceps bulged as he raised his arms, raking the wet mass of hair back from his angular face. “A job, on our day off. How thoughtful.” he sneered. Steve rolled his eyes, tutting. “We need more water from the snack-hut. It’s closed today but Tony had a copy of the keys. It’s about half a mile up the beach.” he said cheerfully. Sensing your reluctance, Rogers eyes grew bright with wholesome excitement. “And hey, y'all could even grab an ice cream for the walk back.” “Do you hear that, Agent?” Loki drawled sarcastically, mimicking Steve’s enthusiasm. “Ice-cream.” Steve flicked his hand, a set of keys landing in your palm which shot up from the water. He turned silently, beginning to wade over to the main group currently occupied with stopping Lang snorkelling with a straw up one nostril. You watched him depart with a fluttering in your stomach, feeling gentle ripples splash further up your waist as Loki approached like a panther stalking wounded prey. Like you knew he would. His hands slid around your hips beneath the water, pulling you gently back with an inaudible thump against his crotch. You could feel the heat of his breath against your wet hair, fat droplets of salt water dripping from his forehead to your cheek as he hovered. “Tell me to stop, Agent...” he murmured warily, fingertips tightening around your hipbones. There was something new in his voice. Thick, and hypnotic. Sweet, almost. Sincerity? You shook the thought away. Your eyes fluttered closed, marinating in the feeling of his solid chest pressed against your back. The moist sheen of your bodies sticking together reminded you of ill-advised, sweaty, animalistic, magnificent sex. And him. God, how you craved him. If he wasn't such a- Loki’s fingertips toyed with the waistband of your bottoms, grazing inside just enough to scratch the edges of your pubic hair. He moaned softly as your ass circled against his hips, firm biceps tensing around your shoulders like a venus flytrap as his deep baritone trembled. You could feel the delicate skin of his lips millimetres from your cheek, testing the precipice of your resistance. “Let’s get this over with.” you sighed defiantly, brushing his hands away. You raised a finger, jingling the keys to make your point. “Everyone’s thirsty.” A smile tugged at Loki's lips as he watched you rise from the water towards the shore, the curve of your ass making his neglected cock twitch within the tight swim shorts. “Some more than others, I suspect.” he said quietly, tilting his head.

To be continued in Hot & Bothered: Utterly F*cked Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection

Tags @gigglingtigger @meowmeow-motherfuckers @muddyorbsblr @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @loopsisloops @thedistractedagglomeration @loveroflokiforpoeticjustice @123forgottherest @holdmytesseract @joyful-enchantress @sititran @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @vbecker10 @imalovernotahater @thomase1 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @xorpsbane @filthyhiddles @peacefulpianist @maple-seed @yelkmelk @lunarnights95 @mistress-ofmagic @goblingirlsarah @ozymdias @peaches1958 @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @astridstark13 @coldnique @arch-venus25 @skymoonandstardust @springdandelixn @cheekyscamp @lovelysizzlingbluebird @ladyofthestayingpower