#right now. so. you can imagine how fucking rabid i am

[lovphobic]

sorry to go back to that horrid post but i can assure you you would rather have a scar from a biopsy than to have your loved ones whoever they may be choose how to take care of your body in death because you denied a biopsy because it would scar. shut the fuck up about scars they arent shit in the grand scheme of things

[takerfoxx]

I'm not traditionally a poly shipper (though I've been delving more into it as time goes by), but if there's one that I'm absolutely gaga about, as if in makes my personal top five ships and might even slot in right beneath KyoSaya and SuleMio, it's the one that almost certainly could not and should not happen in canon, but the thought of it still kinda makes me rabid with what could have been.

I am of course talking about AsuReiShin, AKA the Israfel Special.

Evangelion shipping is often a bizarre experience, especially amongst the core trio of pilots. There is just so much material among these incredibly fucked up characters, so many things that ought to be drawing them together, and yet they are all damaged in such specific ways that drive them to behave increasingly toxic, avoidant, or even abusive toward one another. They're all such hot messes of trauma and hangups that, hate to say it, the Rebuild ending of everyone essentially just making peace with one another and fucking off with Shinji hooking up with the controversial new girl that he at least doesn't have any baggage with was probably the healthiest choice, if not the most satisfying.

But even so, the reason I dig this triad specifically is because if you change even just a little bit about each character, you find the same traits that drove them apart suddenly drawing them together, and each individual pairing makes so much sense. Asuka and Shinji is the most obvious, with Asuka's aggressive bullying suddenly becoming proactive encouragement, and Shinji's meek avoidance now becoming the calm, stabilizing force that she needs. With Asuka and Rei it's similar, with Asuka's hatred of Rei's passivity now being being a drive to push Rei to experience and enjoy life and establish an identity, while Rei's gentle observation and lack of a filter would be give Asuka a much-needed source of self-reflection. And with Shinji and Rei, we've already seen how Shinji's kindness has encouraged Rei to step outside of her sheltered world and seek human connection, while also providing Shinji someone he felt was worth stepping up and fighting for.

Now, take all three of those dynamics and combine them together. You've basically got the perfect Id, Ego, and Superego situation. It's practically the adolescent Kirk, Spock, and McCoy dynamic!

Plus, there's also the other factors that would bring them together, even beyond the whole being hormonal teenagers in a stressful situation. Despite having wildly different personalities, they all had their lives destroyed by NERV, from Shinji losing his mother and being neglected by his father, to Asuka's mother losing her mind and taking her life thanks to the Evangelions, to Rei literally being created by Gendo to serve a terrible purpose and thus being robbed of ever having a life. That sort of "in the trenches" experience is exactly the sort of thing that would cause them to form bonds and seek comfort with one another, especially if they were all to learn of each other's past histories, and motivate them to stand up for one another against NERV's machinations, but ah, I'm delving into AU fanfic territory.

Point is, no, I don't think it would be wise for these three to seek out romance with one another, either as couples or all three of them together. But man, if they each just had just a little bit changed about them, can you imagine the pure emotional catharsis?

Note: I didn't really say anything about Kaworu because while I feel that he's probably the healthiest singular choice for Shinji, it's basically only with Shinji, making him his own separate deal entirely.

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch. 4

A/N: Here she is! Another heavy chapter LMAO pls heed all the warnings and put yourself first always! Also pls give me asks I am a rabid dog without them and will rattle my cage without them. I need the interaction or else I will frown. As always, everyone say thank you to my amazing beta reader and loml B @rapline-heaux

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect, crying, familial issues, abandonment issues, blood from biting own lip, covering ears, pinning someone down, mention of open relationship, threat of suicide but as a form of reassurance(?), allusion to possible past addiction, delusional thoughts and manipulation kinda, the yandere-ness has begun

You scrolled mindlessly through your phone, looking for any kind of distraction as the elevator ticked up at a maddening pace. You just wanted to be home without having to worry about what Jungkook was going to do–

And of course, he was slumped against your door. 

You heaved a sigh, swallowing down the pain of seeing him so dejected. Not that you had to try very hard as fear quickly replaced the emotion when you saw another man standing there next to him. You didn’t recognize the figure with an expensive suit, but you certainly had no desire to as he tried tugging Jungkook up. 

The two men’s eyes snapped to you the moment the elevator dinged, making your presence painfully known. Meekly stepping out of it, you gave the men a tight smile that you neglected to remember they couldn’t even see since it was far from reaching your eyes and you still had the mask on. The man standing regarded you lazily, looking you up and down for a moment before his gaze morphed into an emotion you did know quite well: hatred. Pure, unbridled, hatred burned in his gaze, making you feel warm beneath your mask.

But what the hell did you do to this guy? You don’t remember seeing him ever, especially not in your past. Almost everyone who’s seen your face is dead, trusted, or in hiding themselves, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to recognize you, at least not enough to hate you.

“Is this her?” His voice was deep and filled with a venom you were sure wasn’t warranted, but you had little interest in engaging. It did irk you when his eyes looked over your form and his snarl deepened. You just got off work, can’t he give your looks a damn break?

“Can I help you?” You responded with an equal amount of venom, internally cursing yourself. So much for not engaging, dumbass. Your pride was getting the better of you. 

The man before you cocked a brow, “Yeah, you could tell me why my boyfriend refuses to go back to his place until he speaks to you.” Jungkook did his boyfriend no favors in satiating his evident jealousy, his gaze only fixed on you with an emotion you knew nothing of.

Fuck.

That was a good question. A question that could cost your life, so you decided to tread lightly– or as lightly as you could considering how shitty of a job you were doing already. If this guy was one of Jungkook’s boyfriends, that meant there was a pretty good chance he was also a part of Bangtan, and you’ve poked that hornet’s nest more than enough. 

You cleared your throat, “Jungkook.” He nearly keened forward at your voice saying his name, and it made you sigh, “Go home, yeah?” He frowned, slumping back against your door childishly, making his boyfriend glare at you even harsher somehow.

“This is ridiculous.” He spat, eyes never leaving you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d take that as him calling you ridiculous and say something stupid. 

“Yeah? Imagine how I feel.” You sneered back. Obviously, you didn’t know any better right now. But goodness graciousness, this guy was shortening your temper at mach speed. You evidently had the same effect as he scoffed, “Look, what do you want from me?”

“I want my boyfriend to get up from your doorstep.” He hissed.

“Great.” You gritted your teeth, “Me too.” You stepped closer to them, “So why are you being such an asshole about it to me?” 

He rolled his eyes, and you wanted to badly to see him try to do that with a black eye, “Becuase obviously you did something to upset him.” It was your turn to scoff, “So fix it.” 

“Right, 'cause I’m the problem.” You muttered sarcastically. You were pretty used to being blamed your whole life for a whole number of things, but you took that shit because you had to. You didn’t know this guy, and you didn’t have it in you to care right now. 

“You saying he’s the problem?” He snarled, obviously protective of the man. The jealousy at the fact that Jungkook had someone who loved him so much when you didn’t even have a pet was quickly outweighed by your anger and a twinge of fear at this man getting in your face.

“Hyung, you’re making it worse.” Jungkook groaned, and you were a little surprised at how sober he sounded. You thought if he was leaning against your door he was trashed, or at least semi-drunk, but he was speaking clearly, “Just wait for me at my place, okay?” The older man ignored him, crossing his arms and keeping his hatred trained at you.

“I’m saying no such thing, fuck.” You huffed, “If anything, I’m saying you’re acting like a real dick right now, and I’m not in the mood.” You explained harshly, “Take your jealousy or whatever the hell your problem is with me somewhere else.” 

“Jealousy?!” He guffawed, “Me? Jealous of you?!” Ouch, damn. The way he could knock down your self-perception with three words was almost a talent. The power of tone never ceased to amaze, and especially at this moment, wound you. You knew he was more attractive than you. You had eyes after all, but evidently you struck a nerve with him to warrant that response. 

“Oh, my bad.” You sarcastically mocked, “You’re seeming real secure right now. I must be mistaken.” You could hear Jungkook sigh, undoubtedly regretting helping you with your sarcastic tone years ago.

“Do you think I’m enjoying this? He looks miserable.” He grunted, pointing to his dejected lover.

“So leave then.” You challenged.

“Is that what you do to people you care about?” He spat, “Leave?” 

Okay, that struck a nerve with you, “You don’t know a thing about me.” You fumed. You didn’t want to leave anyone, least of all Jungkook, but you also weren’t too keen on sticking around and getting yourself killed. You didn’t anticipate Jungkook not giving you the choice. 

“Well from what I’ve seen, I can’t say I see the appeal.” He retorted. Is this guy calling you ugly or a bitch? Or is it both? 

“Taeyung!” Jungkook scolded his boyfriend.

Your eyebrow twitched at the thought. Fuck this stranger to all hell, “You’re not doing yourself any favors either, I can promise you that.” You looked him up and down, forcing an unimpressed look on your face, and you could see him bristle at your actions. 

“Y/n, come on.” He sighed. Great, now you both know each other’s names. Just what you needed right now. More fucking knowledge.

You sighed, not wanting to upset Jungkook anymore than you were about to by fighting with his boyfriend,  “If I talk to him, will you get the fuck out of my face?” You prodded. 

Taehyung clenched his jaw. God, you were the worst, even worst than he and Jimin thought. You had the worst personality and your face… It would only be fair for you to be as ugly as your attitude, and the fact that you weren’t only pissed him off more. Even worse, you were stunning with a mask on. He swallowed hard, “Fine.” 

“Yipee.” You deadpanned, turning to Jungkook, “Ready?” You asked and he scrambled to get up, taking your bag of takeout from you so you could fish out your keys. 

“Is that a routine you have or something?” Taehyung seethed quietly. 

“I’m just being considerate, hyung.” Jungkook shot back, “Especially when her guest is being so mean.”

“The last thing I’d consider him is a guest, Kook, don’t worry.” You rolled your eyes, taking off your mask so you could put it away before you forgot. Taehyung already had your first name, address, and how your eyes looked, Showing him the rest of your face wouldn’t make you any more in danger than you already were. 

Taehyung wanted to punch a goddamn wall when he saw your the rest of your face. You were stunning and instead of shrinking away from him and out of his lover’s life, Jungkook was clinging to you, and you were more than holding your own. You matched his energy, calling attention to how much of a dick he was being, and he didn’t care for the mirror you proved to be. Even with that stupid piece of tissue clinging to your lip, saturated with blood, you looked beautiful, and it pissed him off. 

“What happened to your lip?” Jungkook asked worriedly, making Taehyung fume even further. 

It took you a couple seconds before you remembered, and you sighed, “Just bit it earlier, that’s all.” You explained, taking the tissue off before flicking your gaze to Taehyung, snapping him out his angry hypnosis with your face, “Bye.” You urged him. 

“Watch yourself.” He warned, making you scoff.

“Thanks for the concern.” You quipped back as you unlocked your door, walking in to let Jungkook bid his stupid boyfriend adieu.

Jungkook watched you retreat into your room before looking back at his boyfriend, “You know better than anyone you catch more flies with honey.” He remarked, making Taehyung huff.

“She’s mean.” He simply said, and this made the miserable man snort. You were anything but mean, your kindness was one of the many things he admired about you. It was effortless, you weren’t even trying to be good. You just were. It scared and enticed him so.

“She’s really not.” The younger man said, “You were really mean, and I’m literally the one who taught her how to be mean back, a little too well obviously.” 

“Taught her?” The man echoed his lover. What, were you a child? Why did his boyfriend need to “teach” you anything? And why the hell did it bother him so much?

Jungkook shook his head, “Nevermind. What I mean is she would’ve been way more receptive had you just been a bit more polite. Then you’d have something to report to Yoongi.” He sighed, irked at the fact that his boyfriend’s kept prying about you since his mood has been sour these days.

Taehyung chewed his lip, obviously guilty, “We’re just worried–”

“Sure.” He cut Taehyung off, making the older man scowl, “Just go wait for me, alright? Let me handle my own things.”

“So she’s yours now?” Taehyung bitterly remarked.

“Tae, please.” Jungkook sighed, “You’ve never been the jealous type like this, so I have no idea where this is coming from.” He grit out, and Taehyung bristled at this, the words on the tip of his tongue but before he can even think to say them, Jungkook spoke, "Just go, okay?” The older man rolled his eyes but followed his orders, the doors to both apartments closing at the same time.

—

You had changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt the moment you got in. Not only was it because you didn’t want to overhear what Jungkook and Taehyung were talking about, but you also knew this conversation was going to drain you beyond belief so you wanted to be prepared to go straight to be afterwards. 

You entered your living room right as Jungkook closed your door, and you plopped onto the couch, already tired of this, “I don’t know what you want me to say.” You huffed, sending a glare to your turned-off TV. Should’ve never gotten the damn thing if it was going to be the catalyst for this much grief. 

“You know what I want you to say.” He sighed. All the desperation from earlier in the day seemed to have tapered off and now you were both just left tired. Part of you was thankful he wasn’t freaking out like that right now, you rarely saw him like that. In your years of friendship, Jungkook and you basically never fought. You could count the number of times on one hand. Most often, the moment a disagreement arose, you dealt with it then and there. Keeping distance and being dismissive was new between the two of you, and it drained you both, “Tell me why, and I’ll let it go.” He professed and you scoffed. You weren’t sure how much you believed him judging by the dark circles blooming beneath his barely subdued crazed eyes.

“What difference does it make?” You refused to meet his eyes even as they burned holes in your cheek.

“You said you weren’t scared of syndicates or mafias.” He blurted, and you stiffened, “So tell me why.” 

You shrugged, “I lied.” It was a half-truth, but you knew it wasn’t enough. Gone were the days when cagey lies and half-truths were sufficient between the two of you.

"We've both lied to each other enough, but it's time to stop, yeah?" He asked, and you could tell his sanity was toeing a very thin line but you simply huffed, “Come on.” He groaned, “Why won’t you tell me?” 

You remained staring at the TV, “I can’t.” 

“Can’t or won’t–”

“Both.” You crossed your arms, “The more we talk about this, the worse it’ll be for me.” You added, “And you, probably.” 

“Fine.” He hissed, and for a moment you thought he was going to leave, “Then I’ll tell you what I know.” He pushed off of your door and walked to stand in front of the TV. It sounded like a threat, and in a way, you knew it was.

You swallowed hard, “Don’t you dare tell me a thing.” You warned. Knowledge is almost everything when it comes to risk assessment. If you knew too much, there would be no running away, there would be a chase. You could not afford to be chased. Hell, you couldn't afford to even be having this conversation in the first place.

“Why?” He challenged, eyes colder than you’ve ever seen. You pressed your lips together, not wanting to entertain this, "What's the harm in knowing things?" He was prodding you to show your understanding. He was baiting you and when you remained silent, he flashed a bitter half-smile before speaking, “Very well. I know that I am Jeon Jungkook, cyber specialist of the Bangtan syndicate, one of seven leaders.” 

You dug your nails into your palms and fought the bile that rose up in your throat. One of your worst nightmares come true, and yet, you were stuck. Your body was rigid and your mind could barely process the million ways the reality of the fact could and was actively ruining you.

His words made your chest seize, and you wanted to throw up. The fucking cyber specialist, a whole leader, of the most powerful syndicate in the country had been coming to your apartment every week? How stupid could you be? “Stop.” You seethed.

“I know that you acted weird when the camera panned to the audience during the fight on Friday.” He took a step forward and you pressed yourself further into the couch, “I know that you said it was because you saw a teacher in the crowd, but that wasn’t true.” 

“Enough.” Each word was like a stab to the chest. In more ways than one, you were sure nothing would be left of you by the time this conversation was over.

He wore that bitter smile so seamlessly, “I know it wasn’t true because I checked every single person in that fucking crowd, not just teachers.” 

“Please.” You pleaded, pressing your nails so deep you could almost feel the acrylic snap.

“The only one who called into work that day doesn’t know you.” He spat, and you felt utterly ill.  

“Jungkook.” You croaked.

He pressed on without a care in the world, eyes trained on you, “You wanna know who was in that crowd?”

“No.” You protested.

He clicked his tongue, “Too bad, it–” 

You shook your head, covering your ears, “Shut up, shut up!” You exclaimed, palms pressing to muffle him. 

In no time, he pinned your hands to your side, hovering over you with a fierce glare, “I can’t let you run away from this.” He snapped, “Not from me.” 

“Why not?” You hissed.

“You mean too much to me.” The vulnerability and the sheer honesty in his voice, made you regret asking. Your heart cried out for more as your mind begged to run and never look back. 

You struggled against him, significantly harder to hold your own against him when he was sober, “Let go of me.” You pleaded, your words having a double meaning that he didn’t care to listen to.

“Never.” He huffed like it was a promise, plucking at your heartstrings, “I can’t.” He said quietly, making your hairs stand on end, dropping his head to rest on your head, “I just can’t.” He breathed, lips moving along your crown.

“Can’t or won’t?” You mocked him, tears stinging you at the affection while he let out a humorless laugh.

He slid his hands from your wrists to interlace his finger with yours, still holding your hands down in a fierce grip, “Both.” He breathed. You hated your body for wanting to relax against his touch.

“You’re making a mistake.” You admitted solemnly, “You shouldn’t–”

“Enough of that.” He snarled, stunning you silent, “As I was saying,” He continued, pulling back but hovering over you still, “There was a certain Moon Byungjoo in the crowd.” Your uncle’s name made your stomach tighten and you internally begged Jungkook not to notice. The man in question quirked a brow at you, “That name mean anything to you?” You opened your mouth to deny it, but he shook his head, “Just stay quiet if you’re going to lie.” The venom in his tone hit your heart, the pain radiating to your throat.

“That’s not fair.” You whispered, “Like you’ve never lied to me.” You spit out, glaring at him, trying to look anything but how petrified you are.

“I’m not anymore.” He shot back, and you rolled your eyes, but he remained headstrong, “I’ll ask again, does that name mean anything to you?” 

A mix of anger and betrayal filled you, “You know the answer already, don’t you?” You hissed and he flashed you that sickening smile again.

“He called you that day I was here, didn’t he?” He asked, and you kept your mouth shut, blinking the tears back as your carefully woven mundane life began to unravel, “Now, I didn’t know what you could possibly have to do with Byungjoo. I even went as far as researching you, and you know what I found?” You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as he spoke, but his eyes never broke contact with yours, “Nothing.” He sighed, “You basically didn’t exist until you enrolled in school.” 

“That wasn’t fair.” You whimpered, trying to keep your tears in, “We promised we would stay out of each other’s business–”

“I can’t lose you.” He quickly interjected, his shield cracking for a moment to show you the desperation in his gaze, “So I did what I had to do, for us.” 

You swallowed thickly, “What us, Kook?”You hissed, trying to hurt him even if it tore you down too, “We’re just friends is all.” You fixed a cold gaze on him, “Just study buddies who stuck around too long.” However, his grip only tightened on your hands.

“Friends?” He spit the word bitterly. He gave you an incredulous look, “Be honest with yourself for once, and then try to tell me that again.” He breathed, mere inches from your face now, and you had nowhere to sink into any further. 

You wanted to protest again, tell him that he was being crazy. You wanted to say that he was looking for more in the relationship you shared than what was there, but he was no fool. It didn't take a genius to know that the feelings you held, the bond you both shared, the feelings you had wasn't mere friendship. The trouble was you didn't know what the hell it was. It was the deepest connection you'd ever had and yet, you had no idea where to place it. 

He sighed, eyes cast down for a moment, “I didn’t want to do that, you know?” He admitted, pulling back a little, “When the guys found out I made a friend they insisted on doing a full background check, a week of tailing, and even random bout of tailing, but I told them to stay out of it.” He admitted, and your body shivered at his protective tone, “Our relationship was too important to jeopardize.” This made you grind your teeth in frustration. Maybe he should've let them dig into you or drive you away, save you both this grief.

“And now?” You pressed.

“Now,” He echoed, “It’s too important to lose.” You didn't get it. You knew why Jungkook’s friendship was so important to you, he was essentially all you had, but he had much more than you.

“What if it’s lost already?” You glared at him, but he didn’t seem shaken.

“It’s not.” He affirmed, and you didn't get how he was so sure, “We can rebuild, stronger than ever.” 

You shook your head. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Something had to be wrong with him with the way he was talking like your relationship was so profound and… Your own lies tasted bitter on your tongue. It was hard to think clearly with him this close and with this much fear coursing through your veins, but even with all that, you knew. You knew he was right, and it made you sick to your stomach.

“I searched and I searched for any connection to Byungjoo and you and then…” You started squirming, wanting a head start before being viciously hunted, but he only pressed his arms into your legs, hands still holding yours, “Did you know that the first record of you started almost exactly five years ago?” He trailed off, eyes scrutinizing yours, “And I mean actual record, not the fake ones that were made also exactly five years ago.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was over. Truly, madly, deeply, over, “You know what five-year anniversary is coming up?” He asked and you tried to stand, tried to run, but it was no use. None of it was ever any use, and you knew it.

In the blink of an eye you were pinned to the floor, his legs locking yours in place as his hands stay intertwined with yours, “Don’t do this!” You cried, and the tears finally fell, “You don’t understand–”

"I couldn't believe it at first." His face was stone as you tried to look away from him, unable to face him now that he knew who you really were, "My y/n? The girl who I had to teach sarcasm to? The girl who needed me to show her how to use a coffee maker?" You struggled against him, wanting more than anything to cover your ears and just fade away, “Originally I thought you were amish or something, but a cold-blooded killer? A child progidy asassin?” His words were like fire, and you wanted to be swallowed whole by it, “How could that be when you were scared of your ice maker for almost a year?” What was once funny memories turned into stark reminders that this life had never really been yours to begin with. Your life would never be your own.

"Stop it, please."  You sobbed, embarrassment crushing your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut. In your childhood it was all about the mission, and any other knowledge would just get in the way. You didn't learn how to properly write until you were a teenager, let alone interact with people your age. It was Jungkook who painstakingly helped you learn the most basic tasks and subtle inflections. He never once got frustrated or gave up on you and here he was, his palms pressing against yours as he tore your walls to shreds.

“And then… he said your name.” Your whole body froze, your thrashing coming to an end, but the tears never stopped. “He said it to me, and only me, but it’ll be no time before the other guys question him.” He explained, eyes still unbelievably cold as he regarded you. Byungjoo, that fucking rat. You should’ve known, but what made it worse was that if you never befriended Jungkook, your name wouldn't matter that much. They wouldn't know your birthday or your address or anything, but you put a target on your back the moment you let him into your apartment all those years ago.  

"I'm dead." Tears kept falling, but your body was stone now, and it would be soon. All those years of trying to survive and be somebody outside of your father, would be for nothing. You couldn’t outrun your past, and you felt stupid for ever trying.

He ignored your words, but you felt him squeeze your hands a bit harder, “At first I thought you were playing me," He grit his teeth, making you shiver. You wanted to protest, but he just pressed on, "but then I understood.” You finally looked at him, confusion filling your eyes with the tears as his gaze softened. He leaned down to your ear, “It was fate.” The way he said it nearly made you teares freeze on your face. Something about it sounded almost sinister, but what was worse is you could tell he genuinely meant it. 

“What?” You squeaked out, and he chuckled darkly. You could hardly recognize him like this, and you wondered if the Jungkook you knew was nothing but a facade or if this was just another part of him.

“Come on, two mafia darlings finding each other against all odds and genuinedly not knowing who the other was.” He pulled back to look at you, eyes transparent now as his pupils dilated, “We’re perfect.” He breathed. You could see he wasn’t angry, but you couldn’t recognize that look in his eyes, “No more running, green girl.” The nickname made your body tremble beneath him. 

“Just let me–” 

He quickly cut in, “I’’ll protect you.” He kissed softly at the tear running down your cheek.

You shook harder, “They’ll kill me.” You cried softly, “I don’t have anything to offer. I don’t know where my father is and–”

“Shh, shh.” He soothed you, but it did little to help, “I won’t let them kill you.” He promised, and you weren’t sure how much he could keep the promise, “If they do, I’m going with you.” Your eyes bulged at this.

“You can’t mean that.” You tried to reason with him, but he simply shook his head.

“I mean everything I say to you.” He leaned his forehead against yours, breathing you in deeply, “You’d do well to remember that, okay?” He pressed another kiss to your forehead, “I’m gonna go talk to them in a bit.” He sighed, not looking forward to it.

“T-Tonight?” You asked. 

He hummed in agreement, “No time like the present, huh?” He sat up, finally releasing your hands, but keeping your legs still as he sent you a sharp look, “No running, okay?”

“I don’t have anywhere to go.” You ruefully responded, nerves running on overdrive.

“Oh come on, I know Eunhwa worked for your father.” He tsked, and you flinched, not noticing the way he softened at your fear.

“Not even she is willing to risk her life to help me right now.” You snapped,looking away from him in shame. You had no one, no one except him. Even if you did try to run on your own, it would be two seconds before a bounty the size of Seoul was on your head. You’d be found by someone else, but you couldn’t help but feel like Jungkook would stop at nothing to find you first regardless, “We originally agreed to wait a few weeks since anniversary week is kind of…” 

He snorted, already knowing the situation. He was one of the men that helped craft it. Nothing involving your family happened during that time, which made you all so hard to find, but obviously not hard enough, “Lucky me then.” He finally released your legs and you scrambled away from him. A flash of hurt came and was gone from his pupils before he extended his hand to you, “I never wanted to do any of this.” He reminded you, finally sounding like the Jungkook you knew but it did nothing to ease you, “I never wanted to scare you like that, but it was the only way to–”

You hugged your knees curling into yourself, "But you did." You sighed, feeling so unbelievably empty, as you struggled to take in a breath, “Just go.” Your voice cracked, and he recognied the tone immediately. 

“No, I’m not going to leave you like–” He tried to offer to help but you just covered your ears as you cried into your knees. 

“Leave, please!” You rasped, and that’s when it hit him. Regardless of the affection you both felt for each other, your relationship was fundamentally changed. You were no longer each other’s escape, you were the grizzly reality. 

“No.” He seethed before crumbling down next to you. Despair washed over him at the reality of your relationship, but not even that could get in the way of his need to be close to you. What he had with you transcended wrong and right. You were tattooed into his psyche.

“Haven’t you done enough?” You croaked before his body covered yours. Even if you had the energy, you weren’t planning to fight his embrace, not when your traitorous body managed to relax as his mahogany and rain scented cologne invaded your senses, allowing you to take your first real breath since this whole ordeal. 

“I won’t leave you like this.” His voice was muffled as he pressed his palms over yours to quiet the outside world, “Even if it’s my fault.” His breath hit your forehead as he kissed the skin, “Even if it makes you hate me.” He promised, “I’ll never leave you like this.” He began his rhythmic tapping, just like he always did, and the familiarity brought you both comfort, even if just for a moment. 

“I hate this.” He let out a small sigh of relief when your hate wasn’t explicitly directed at him, “I’m scared, and I never wanted to be that girl again.” For the first time, Jungkook found himself wondering what exactly happened those five years ago. He wanted to know every little thing about your life before him. He wanted to know why you were alone, if you were loved, if someone hurt you, and most importantly, he wanted to know who, “I’m dead.” You cried into his chest. 

“No, you’re not.” He all but promised, “I won’t let them.” He pressed a too-sweet kiss to your forehead.

“Why?” You asked again, even though you knew you weren’t ready for the answer. 

“Because…” He trailed off, trying to think of what to say, never letting up on his taps, “You’re mine.” He mused, and you succumbed to your despair even further as your body shook violently. 

“And what do I have then?” You sobbed, “What’s mine then?” Your life had never been yours, and you suddenly felt so foolish to think it ever would be. Made to be a puppet and cursed to never cut the strings. 

“I am.” He immediately responded and you shook your head, but he only held you tighter, “Don’t be scared.” He breathed, “No matter what happens, I’ll always be here.” He promised, and it broke your heart that the notion both scared and eased you. You simply nodded as you both stayed that way and then once your breathing stabilized, he let you be alone.

“I don’t know how I’m going to forgive you for this.” You admitted, the both of you hurting from your statement.

“I know.” He looked to you with a soft smile, “But you will eventually, and that’s all I care about.” 

He set his jaw before taking his leave, and he could hear your breathing trying to steady even as he closed the door. He leaned against the wood, sighing as he closed his eyes. It was just a rough patch. You just couldn’t see how good this was for both of you. Even if he had to rebuild your relationship all by himself, he would. He’d do anything if it meant keeping you. Maybe he was an addict down to his core, trading one vice for another. He didn’t care either way.

-------------------

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Masterlist

[madaboutmunson]

sad-rockstar-Steve x tour-photographer-Eddie

Little idea I had and decided to write it

"I do NOT want this assignment, Marney!" Eddie pushes the flimsy file back over to his agent. He already knows what's inside. It shows up at least once a year, which was a relief comparing it to how frequent the request used to be.

"Eddie, baby, hear me out. It’s not an assignment. It is a project. It could get you back on the radar. It's not even a tour, really, it's a residency, and his team have already provided you with a list of shots he wants for the book. It's pose, point and shoot, Ed. Easy money." She slides it back over to him, keeping her fingers on top of it firmly, drumming her bright red talons on the card as she looks him right in the eyes, "and it's not like the gigs have been rolling in for you, now have they, sweetheart? Other than the family portrait business that I know you absolutely adore!" She smirks and holds his gaze. Using his favourite pet name against him makes his blood boil, but he isn't angry with her. It was Him.

"Gigs drying up for us is not my fault! The last client wanted all candid behind-the-scenes shots. I provided that. I edited them, barely, because they wanted the realism of life on the road, and they ok'd them. It's not my fault the internet is a cruel, unforgiving place!” Eddie exclaims in annoyance, “Especially when it’s full of Harronites, or whatever those lunatics call themselves." Eddie mumbles under his breath.

She raises her eyebrow at him, "He asked for you specifically." She says, and flicks open the folder revealing an old photo Eddie had taken of Rock Phenom Steve Harrington at one of his shows. He didn’t know what was so special about the picture. He’d taken this shot hundreds of times for artists. It's on a list of shots they can ask for. The artist climbs the barrier, and the hands of the fans reach up to them like worshipers praising their false idol. Eddie waves his hand, and the artist looks straight down the lens. It's supposed to be a duality of intimacy. The solid eye contact with the camera whilst in the arms of strangers, eager to reach out and touch their obsession which none of them would ever possess. Lest of all, that guy. 

What a piece of work. Ruined Eddie’s career and, damn, near ruined his life! 

"He says," she balances her reading glasses on the tip of her button nose and pulls the sticky note from the photo, "no one captures his truth like Eddie Munson." She flips over the message so Eddie can see, “Signed it too. Could be worth something?”

"I've never even spoken to the guy. Why's he so obsessed with me?" Eddie whines, and his agent shrugs.

"Does it matter, Ed? There are a lot more zeros here than we'd see normally."

"Something seems off about this. I don't like it."

"You like his stuff, don't you?"

"Did! I did like his stuff until I published that stupid photo. He's been on my case ever since."

"Not flattered, Eddie?" She laughs

"At first, sure. Until his demands started rolling in, and his fans started giving me grief for declining them. They called me washed up! I hadn't even begun! I thought that picture was gonna be my big break! It went viral! Remember you told me that! But it was actually my demise, Marn!" Eddie seethes, “Imagine calling up your horde of rabid fans because you couldn’t get your way!” He closes the file and folds his arms. “No fuckin’ way! I can’t post a picture of a fucking sunset without his fans all over it like a rash.”

“Then just say yes, Eddie. It can’t be any worse than it is right now.” Marney says with a kind smile of compassion. She did want what was best for him, and though it killed him to admit it, he did need that money. He was in debt up to his eyeballs, barely breaking even at the studio, and the numbers on the cheque he saw, could clear that and then some.

Eddie sighs and sinks back into his chair, “I’m gonna regret this. I know I am.” he says tensely, running his hand through his hair.

He looks up at her, and she is already back in her chair, phone in hand, finger poised over the green call button. 

At his lowest, Eddie admits defeat and nods.

[emcandon]

I return from my bg3 stupor with a fresh 2 am question:

was the TAU story and world a concept you were baking for a long time until you had a chance to write it, or was it a more recent creation?

Do you find it easy or hard to build out new story concepts? Like, do you need to sit on them a while until they feel right, or does it just come pouring out of you from the start? Or a secret, third thing?

Just anything about your personal creation process!

lol hi it might not surprise you to learn that i am also steeping in bg3 (i am still stumbling around act 1! i'm not allowed to play until i hit daily sequel writing quota, which is healthy, i'm sure, but does mean i am somewhat behind just about everyone i know who is also playing :P)

(my first Tav is an enormous nb tiefling bard named Faretheewell who is, imo, perfect. very beautiful. very kind. definitely does drag. lying a lot, but mostly just for funsies. has turned astarion into their little purse dog.)

ANYWAY, TO THE ACTUAL QUESTION:

TAU's an interesting case because it was cannibalized from a couple different ongoing projects into something entirely new.

The characters had been floating around in different iterations since about 2013, and their final forms in Archive are quite distinct from the original seed! Imagine Sunai as an exiled diplomat who got involuntarily apprenticed to a cursed king/the last magician in the world; imagine Veyadi as a disowned god-child tasked with murdering the last magician! I'm still probably going to use that world somewhere so I'll mum about it now (it's the one I call "grandma heist.")

((imo that's why you should always yoink characters you like from whatever source you enjoy, be it your own or something else -- they will inevitably change in their new context, often so substantially that they are nigh unrecognizable.))

The story concept also originated in 2013: "Pacific Rim, but the mechs are built out of the kaiju, and pilots must have survived being poisoned by those kaiju." The addition of strange and upsetting AIs of divine power was somewhat inherited from the story Sunai and Adi came from, where divinity was fraught, fractured, and hungry.

Here's a funny. In 2017 I thought TAU would be a nice, simple, clean project. However. I know some folks who turn out gloriously clean first drafts. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. My brain is a hazardous work environment, very non-OSHA compliant. Basically I do a lot of thought work in the drafting, so the drafts are consequently messy, and there are a LOT of changes from concept to actual workable manuscript.

Which I suppose is to say that story concepts nest in my brain quite often when it is healthy. The frequency with which I land on new and interesting story thoughts is actually a pretty good indicator of how well I am doing ambiently! Right now I'm storing up a lot of them, some of which I am fairly rabid about -- nearly as rabid as I am about Archive, which is the real indicator of a project that is ready to transition from Thought to Work. They are described here as "apocalypse magicians" and other such things. There's one that's going to be kind of an argument with Lovecraftian unknowability via desconstruction of Enlightenment epistemologies + queer identity destruction, and another that's going to be the Le Carré approach to espionage + magic as divinity meets public service + interplanetary empires intruding on your bumfuck planet offering the solution to climate change might still be bad actually. (I want to write that last with my wife and we are making SUCH GOOD FUCKING SHIPS FOR IT.)

How to summarize this? 1) find a story notion/concept about which i can obsess, 2) actually start writing it, 3) mess up spectacularly for a few drafts, 4) finally whittle together something more or less correct, 5) that's my editor's problem now!!

[invisiblefoxfire]

Seen an alarming number of people on my dash passing around a post insisting that Biden is just as bad as Trump, and listing some bad shit that has happened under Biden as proof of this, all framed as a "this is WHITE PEOPLE'S FAULT and just because you have white privilege and aren't being targeted by these things doesn't mean Biden isn't EVIL" and...

And these posts are being shared by people I have seen, recently, also sharing posts about how you need to watch out for psy-ops and propaganda, and you need to remember just HOW MUCH WORSE Trump is, and how anyone who can needs to vote for Democrats to prevent the US from becoming a literal overt christofascist dictatorship.

And it looks like the moment they saw a post that said "you only think that because you're white," their guilt over having privilege caused them to crumble.

I can't believe I'm having to write this. I can't believe the people I follow don't already know this, aren't already on the lookout for this. I can't believe there's a very serious chance that these campaigns will work and too many young people won't vote because "Biden is bad too" and the entire world will have to suffer under the christofascist dictatorship the Republicans are overtly, not secretly, but openly promising to institute under Trump.

Biden sucks in a lot of ways. He's done things he shouldn't which should make you angry. He's not done things he should have which should also make you angry. There are some things people think he should do which he doesn't actually have the power to do (which is why you vote the whole ballot, not just the president). He has also done a lot of really good things that people aren't talking about as much because anger and outrage get more clicks. (No, I am not going to list them here because I'm just one poor queer trans disabled guy who is mustering up the last of his energy to post this today, but I've shared lists of good stuff he's done before, and I will again whenever they pop up.)

Trump wants to burn down the world and start armageddon in the name of the evangelical christian religion. He wants everyone like me to die. He wants every queer person to die. He wants every disabled person to die. He wants every brown and black person to die. He wants to write Israel a blank check to nuke every last Palestinian. He wants to flood the air with deadly chemicals. He wants to get rid of no-fault divorce to trap people in abusive marriages. He wants to get rid of birth control and turn every person with a uterus into a baby producing factory. He wants to start fresh wars with everyone on earth. He wants to suck Putin's dick. He wants to burn down the rainforests. He has a rabid group of fascists, many of whom are fucking cops and military, chomping at the bit to make things so much worse than you could possibly imagine.

Things are bad. Things are bad right now. If you do not vote for Biden, you are saying you're fine with things getting unfathomably worse for the entire planet.

If you think it is more important to do nothing wrong than to do something right, if you think it is better to keep your soul~ pure by never voting for someone imperfect than to vote however you have to to stop far greater evils from taking power, then fuck you.

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA. The propaganda will not come in the form of a MAGA red hat wearing skinhead trying to persuade you to join him. It will come in the form of a post that says "actually I'm OPPRESSED by the democrats and if you vote for them you are RACIST." It will come in the form of someone pretending to be on your side who is framing voting as somehow not woke enough. It will come in the form of someone who pretends to be just like you telling you that there's no point in voting, so just stay home.

They are putting SO MUCH EFFORT into trying to persuade young people not to vote, because voting MATTERS. But if you don't vote, and the Republicans win, then you might never get the chance to vote again.

Both parties are not the same. FUCKING. VOTE. Because if you can vote democrat, and you don't, and the republicans win, the horrors that will be unleashed as a result will be on your conscience for the rest of your life.

[sunlightandsuffering]

It's kind of cute how Fratboy Eren begs Mikasa to come to his frat parties every time even though he knows she'll say no

CHIVALRY IS ABOUT BUYING THE GIRL AN UBER IF UR GONNA HAVE A BOOTY CALL LOL !!

Eren has never been one to indulge Mikasa, he can’t, she’d be spoiled rotten if he did everything she said, gave her everything in the world she deserved, the most perfect, beautiful– stop, he’s getting a little carried away. 

He simply can’t indulge her though, or she’d be a brat, which is ironic seeing as how if anyone was spoiled he was, a nepo baby and richest kid on the block, but he doesn’t think it’s changed him too much. 

On the other hand, Mikasa is already kind of a brat, maybe if he had indulged her when they were younger she wouldn’t have turned into this angry little feminist spaz. 

Maybe she’d be sweet and loving, and his girlfriend hanging on his arm. 

But as he tries to picture it, he simply can’t, can’t get that patented murderous glare out of his mind, how just one glance gets him hot. 

No, he likes her just as she is, full of burgeoning rage at the patriarchy, and hypocritical just for him. 

The contrast of her is fucking beautiful, and who would have thought that his tenth-grade vow to become a sexist asshole in pure spite of her would reward him so well. Because where other men receive her rabid dislike, Eren receives her reluctant affection and nothing is hotter than her showing up to his frat house in an uber at 3 am, after repeatedly telling him no. 

Nothing is better than being the only man she’ll make an exception for. ​​

That hit of dopamine every time she rejects him, knowing she’ll make an exception in the end, that she’ll turn up on his door step spritzed in light perfume, freshly showered and shaved, wrapped up in sweats and an old oversized sweater just for him. She’s like a present to unwrap, and he adores it. 

So, he texts her, against all common sense, despite the fact that there is an entire sorority in his house right now, a girl with tits the size of melons trying to hang off his arm, he does it. Eren, 11:18 pm

come over, miss u, kinda wanna get my dick wet. 

And although he wonders if the last statement was a little bit much, imagining her enraged reaction makes him practically giddy, how she’s probably fuming about it right now. 

And sure enough, seconds later, like she simply couldn’t wait to respond. 

Mikasa, 11:18 pm

Fuck off Yeager

Women are not objects I will not be coming over now, or ever

The typing bubble continues for a while and he watches in amusement as it appears and disappears several times before she finally stops responding. 

Eren decides to throw fuel on the fire as the blonde with melon tits leaves him, deciding he’s not worth the effort, and privately, Eren agrees. 

Eren, 11:30 pm

i’ll let you suck me off

God, what he wouldn’t give to facetime her right now, watch her respond in real time because he can only imagine the shocked outrage. 

Mikasa, 11:31 pm

That’s not the win you think it is Yeager. 

Eren, 11:31 pm

could be… if you show up 👅

Eren receives nothing else from her for the next several minutes, and before he can stop himself he’s ordering her an Uber, because you know chivalry isn’t dead after all. If he’s going to get her to come over mid-party for a booty call, he might as well be a gentleman about it.

[unusual-raccoon]

okay, so! the idea i said i needed to run by you? i spent hours doing these edits to explain it better adsgsjd

so i was thinking about modern abo jaceluke (it doesn't have to be tied to any of the aus we've talked about, but it surely can fit somewhere there!) and I thought "to what means would rhaenyra go to stop jacaerys and lucerys' relationship?"

and then i thought that pretty much like in canon, the one to see rhaenyra despairing over something and take a rash decision and fuck it even worse would be daemon. so daemon sees rhaenyra arguing with jaacerys constantly about lucerys and decides to step in. he contacts lady misery, a past lover and the chief redactor of the most notorious gossip twitter and instagram diary, silk diaries, and asks her to post the compromising pictures she must have of jacaerys from his many escapades to the north and make it look like it's happening as of now. for a price, lady misery complies and releases the pictures from a year ago and makes it look like it's happening right now.

jace, who didn't even tell cregan about his drunken make out session with his sister doesn't have any proof to defend himself, and knows his relationship with lucerys is in real danger. that's probably why he sounds so desperate to contact lucerys, because he knows his younger brother is really insecure and that he's been fed lies about jace's hookups by their parents and aemond (who wants to see them break up so bad). it doesn't help the fact that jace knows lucerys knows how many people jace has fucked over the years and that it can probably make sense in lucerys' mind.

lucerys knows his brother and deep in his heart knows that he wouldn't hurt him like that, so jace has to be telling the truth. however, because he's still insecure and hurt, and because lucerys is a little, revengeful shit, and cannot cope with jacaerys thinking he's a child, he hits right where it hurts jace the most ;)

jace comes home the next day and they have angry sex. like, super angry sex. because lucerys is angry at jace for sleeping with girls before him (*rolls eyes*) and jace is so fucking mad lucerys made him fucking grovel and sound "pathetic" over text and cannot stand the idea of lucerys running to aemond (like, that makes him rabid). so they fuck like beasts for hours and hours, break the bed and probably end up with lucerys knocked up 🫢 this all came because i wanted to picture them having hate sex/angry sex without them actually hating each other...

My brilliant talented baby!!!

These edits are insanely well done 🤩. I am in awe. It’s such a great story telling medium.

It’s so funny you went with the supposed cheating angle, because as I was thinking of the modern AU featuring the twins, I had the same thought, wondering what pushed Luke into Aemond’s arms and away from Jace. My mind, much like yours, landed on suspected/fabricated cheating.

Their texts are exactly the kind of argument I’d imagine they would have, particularly with Jace being so desperate to know Luke is okay. Only for the utter heartbreak of seeing him flaunting about with Aemond to sink in like a knife to the heart.

Much like you I think Jace would be rabid upon his return. I think Luke might play really hard to get, might even put up some protests, physically or otherwise.

(Potentially even bordering on some super undernegotiated CNC 🫣)

They’re a mess of bite marks and tears and torn skin and bloodied nails when the deed is done, and Lucerys had made a mantra of the words “I hate you”, yet as they lay on the aftermath (not afterglow - it looks like a fucking crime scene) he mutters, “I hate you…for leaving me.”

Jace, the king of aftercare, would leave once more, albeit briefly, to gather supplies to clean them both up. As he’s wiping Luke down with a warm, damp rag, he’d murmur, “So do I, baby.”

Luke hates the idea of them being on poor terms though, he literally cries over it and Jace hushes him with numerous, tender kisses.

“I know you’d never cheat, I know it,” Luke would babble, clinging to his brother’s shoulders.

“It’s just seeing those pictures, J, it was like something came over me-“

His brother kisses him again, softer, smiling. Grazes the back of his knuckles against the bruised state of his brother’s hips.

“I know the feeling.”

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Good evening S :3

I’m new to writing rpf, but I love ur stuff and decided to shoot my shot.

Chris who decides to wear some rings to spice up a premiere outfit. He doesn’t think much of it, other than it giving him something to fidget with when things get a bit hectic. However, he notices halfway through that Sebastian is acting… differently. Not worryingly so, but just enough to get Chris’s attention. It’s only when they get back to the hotel room that he realizes what’s been wrong. Sebastian is fucking rabid over his rings. He’s begging, fucking crying, pleading with Chris to please touch him with the rings on.

“Please, Chris! Please, fuck, I need it. Been drivin’ me crazy all night, but I’ve been good. Been y’re good boy. Please, Sir!” Sebastian is so needy and is burying his head in the nape of Chris’s neck.

So when Chris finally gives him what he wants, finally gets him off, Sebastian is just insane. Screaming for his Sir, telling him how good it feels (when he can talk, his brain is too foggy and pleasure drunk to talk most of the time), and just making the most obscene noises.

And when Chris finally lets his good boy cum, Sebastian is immediately boneless and out of it. Curling into his boyfriend’s chest and murmuring in Romanian. Chris takes off the rings (now wet with pre), and kisses his baby all over, whispering little words of love to him.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away, but I hope that’s okay :)

Aw, thank you for shooting your shot! No worry about getting carried away, I Am Here For It. Thank you for this 😘

We're all fucking feral over Chris' hands and whenever he wears rings, we all collectively lose it, so... I can't fucking IMAGINE what poor Sebastian would be going through.

Pleading, melting, crying for those hands, damn fucking right 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[forest-butch]

horny asks you say? i’m curious what is the nastiest sex you’ve ever had? in detail

Hmmm anon well @daddyslittlelunita have had lots of sexy nasty sex 😈😈😈 but some of the nastiest would have to be once when we went to an event in San Fran and ended up leaving way early. We headed back to our hotel and Luna was all dressed up so pretty in a little lavender outfit. Itty bitty tube top, short little bottoms, white fishnets, just looking like the perfect sex toy really. We get back and admittedly, we’re both still pretty fucked up. I can’t keep my hands off of her in that little outfit, I need more. I do my best not to rip the clothes right off of her, after all she sewed it all herself, such a good femme, how could I ruin it? I start kissing and biting, licking her neck, the euphoria of her taste making me clamp down and leave hickeys all along it. My hands are wandering, squeezing her hips, thighs, anything I can. I peel off her little tube top to ravish her perfect chest. I swirl my tongue around one nipple while my hand fondles the other, my sweet kitten already letting out little whimpers and moans for me. After some biting and sucking, I run my tongue further and further down, stopping at the crease of her hips. She’s purring so pretty for me. I bring down her bottoms and what a lovely surprise for me, a white lace thong that hasn’t left much to the imagination. I lick her pussy slow and deep through the panties until she’s bucking and whining, too needy for words. I peel off the panties and my perfect angel is already a dripping mess for me. God what heaven, I am drunk off of how wet she is when I finally taste her I can feel the electricity between my tongue and her clit in my whole body. I lick and suck and devour her pussy until she is a shaking cumming mess and when I am finally satisfied, I give her a few bites on her pussy lips before coming up and pulling her hips towards me, lining my strap up perfectly with her sweet pink hole. I take my time, pulling her open a bit so I can see just how pink she is inside. I’m drooling at this point. I tease her, just the tip, just for as long as I can possibly stand it. I’m ready to fuck her endlessly. I finally thrust in, fireworks exploding, catching fire to the entire world surrounding us. I grab her by the throat and rut into her deep, every stroke going harder and harder until she’s my perfect crying angel. She looks so gorgeous, mascara running down her face, her face glitter all over both of us, she scratching at me, trying to grab a hold of any part of me she can. I can hear her cum gushing out of her with every thrust and I’m rabid now, fucking her, getting so close until I cum inside her. My good girl, my orgasm sends her into orbit, she’s cumming even harder, begging for me to never stop. We fuck like animals until she’s just a gorgeous rag doll for me to use. I pull out, she whines, so cute. I drag her up onto her knees and cuff her wrists, she’s so fucked out. I grab her by the chin and part her lips and her tongue instinctually falls out. I shove three fingers into her mouth and rub them all over her tongue before using her throat. I push my strap all the way into her mouth and grasp her by the hair nice and tight. Nice and slow, she drools all over my cock as I push in and out, gagging her until the tears start to well up again. I use her and use her until I am satisfied, she was already gone when I started fucking her throat and by the end she is just a gorgeous sex doll. Brainless, fucked out, covered in cum, perfect 🖤😈

[bigger-rat]

(Pls don’t put this in the f.hr tags cause I don’t want to bring up bad memories for ppl) but I remember when things were imploding and that one group (you know the one) literally scrambling for things to make the game problematic to cover up the fact that they were just angry that the author wouldn’t cater to them and agree with their bullshit shipping discourse (they’re all self proclaimed ‘antis’ whatever that means and the author didn’t understand what that was and when the author didn’t blindly agree with it and take a position in the bullshit shipping discourse they all turned on them, they might try to cover and say that they don’t like the game or creator anymore for a different reason that doesn’t sound as stupid but THATs literally the base of why the fandom implosion happened. Because of bullshit shipping discourse agshjd)

BUT anyway the funniest thing they tried to claim was that sidestep, the 30 year old MC, was grooming Herald… a 25 year old man going on 26. Do you remember that?? Am I going crazy?? They definitely tried to claim that aghdjd god I’m dying laughing right now while remembering this. They were so desperate

I won’t lie I am forever bitter at them because they sent the author tons of death threats and hate mail & then acted like the author had some sort of responsibility towards them (the entitlement from them was and still is crazyyy) when the author was also sick w covid and had job and financial insecurity due to covid complications and *god forbid* didn’t want to and probably couldn’t physically handle their fandom wank, and then they acted like the author was the Literal Devil for taking care of themselves

Everything honestly has a silver lining though because the writing quality has just absolutely skyrocketed since the authors time on tumblr, and I feel like without that much needed break that the author took due to all the stress that book 2 wouldn’t have been nearly as good as it is now. The author also appears to be thriving now, which is awesome. Sometimes we need a painful journey to have a happy ending :D

(Sorry to vomit in your inbox like this lmfao)

No lol you're right and you should say it.

What they did to Malin was VILE. They were nothing but kind to the community, they appreciated every piece of fanart people made, were active in the community, they let us play bits of book 2 long before it was out. And these rabid fans literally bullied them out of the fandom.

The author shouldn't have so publicly do things for a specific few friends IMO, not because it's inherently bad but because everyone is insane on this website and that was a ticking time bomb.

And then, god forbid, someone came up with a compelling but problematic sidestep/herald ship (COUGH smute COUGH), and the author liked it, and how DARE they like a problematic relationship in a story about a LITERAL FUCKING VILLAIN. The pearl-clutching is unimaginable.

I don't remember people saying that Herald is being groomed lol but I do remember people going off on power dynamics and how it's an abusive relationship and like. Yes, the romantic relationship in the game where you invade people's minds and also constantly beat your friends/lovers into a bloody pulp are.. a little problematic! Grow the fuck up and go watch steven universe or something.

Imagine reading a book about a literal SUPER VILLAIN and being shocked that they're a bad person who has toxic relationships. Just fucking imagine that. The book in which you routinely kidnap people's bodies without their consent and invade their minds? Problematic?? Wooow.

I'm sad that Malin got chased out of the community but I hope they can sleep better now that they, a 40-50 year old person with a job and a life, don't have to navigate the kindergarten drama of some terminally online zoomers and their shitty shipping fantasies.

[multiverseofmisfits]

Déjà vu in Unworldly Encounter

Do you believe that all lights in the sky are STARS and that your FATE is written in them?

"You're not actually going to that world on your own, are you? You do know that ever since you left the Dai Gurren fleet, you can't just go into other worlds on a whim."

"So what? I have my way to get there. It's not often I hear you concerned about me."

"Knowing how reckless you are, I doubt you'll even get there safely. I doubt that your immortal ass can save you from that."

"Sure, mom. Do you really need to sound like Lala? I know what I'm fucking doing. It's not like I'd go there without a reason anyway."

"With those reasons you told me, they don't convince me enough to let you go on your own. Do you really have to do this anyway?"

"If that witch is in that world, then yes. I may not be part of the crew anymore. But I still have some unfinished business with that bitch."

----

A few days passed. The beastman, in his mech Enki, managed to reach his destination. Though it may not be the exact location he expected to land on, ending up in what seems to be a mysterious forest.

"Damn. This is one creepy-ass forest. I should probably adjust the coordinates next time. Anyway, what's with the damn are-"

"You smell strange. Not from here."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The beastman was startled when that boy suddenly appeared from the bushes. Perhaps he didn't expect anyone in this forest? "Sure. I smell strange and I ain't from here! Thanks, young Captain Obvious!" Of course, there was sarcasm in his tone.

"Fuck? Captain?"

"Kid, that sounds weirder if you word them like that." At least that gave him a hint that the boy struggles with vocabulary. "Whatever. I'm guessing you live here, even though this whole forest smells like there were rabid dogs around here."

"This forest where wolves live. I live with them. They're my lupical." Due to how he struggled with his words, it was difficult to tell whether he was offended or was just explaining things.

"Lu-what now? Sounds like you're the same as that guy in old fairy tale books, except he grew up with monkeys instead of wolves." It even made him wonder if the wolves in this world were like those in his homeworld. "I gotta say that story was ape shit."

"Ape... shit? What's that?"

"Oh, it has lots of meanings. If you really wanna know, you gotta tell me first where the fuck we are and maybe what's going on around here."

"Okay. You don't smell like bad person. I help." He didn't actually trust the beastman that easily though, right? "Are those claws? So big. You must be strong too."

"Yeah, these are real big-ass claws- hey." He got interrupted when the boy seemed to be inspecting his clawed hands.

"Really? Not seen people with claws before. Wish I had big claws too."

"Wow, kid. You must be into big claws, huh? Can't say if you'll have them when you grow up. Enough of that for now though. You still need to tell me where we are... wait, do you even have a name?"

"I am Razor. This forest is Wolvendom. Wolf family lives here. Not too far from city."

"That's some lazy-ass name to call this place. Also, I bet you have siblings named Blade and Scalpel. Well, it's not like my name's any better. Anyway, you can just call me Viral."

"Oh, Viral. Nice to meet you. Do you hunt too?"

"Heh. You're asking me if I hunt? With these damn claws, I do. Not a single prey can get away with these." That may be an exaggeration though, for the inescapable part. "You know what, you got me in a good mood now. So how about after showing me around, I'll teach you some moves I know?"

"Really? I work hard then. Want to learn from you."

"You mean it, General? I'll work hard for the crew then. I'd also like to learn more from you."

"What the fuck was that?" That voice he heard for a moment wasn't from this boy. It felt familiar, yet he couldn't recall who it was. Was he mishearing things then? Shrugging off what he thought was just his imagination, Viral looked back to the wolf boy.

"Damn, you're easy to convince. We might as well need to work on that too. Anyway, don't tell anyone about me being here either. Got that, Razor? Otherwise, we'll both get in trouble."

"Okay. I won't tell."

"Good. Now that it's settled, lead the way around here. After that, we start our little training."

[cambriancruelty]

it's amazing y0u run this bl0g, pretending t0 be the victim, when y0u p0is0ned s0me0ne against his inn0cent m0irail and rightful culler, then st0le him away f0r y0ur 0wn.

CAMBRIAN: hello? Why the fuck are you on this account?

CAMBRIAN: Let’s take this message in order because there’s a lot of bullshit in this ask to wade through

CAMBRIAN: First of all,“pretending to be the victim”? Have you met me? I am very aware of my generalised awfulness. I make no pretence on that matter. And I don’t post about this situation at all, because you’re not important enough to be anything but a footnote, so this opening is pathetic and inaccurate.

CAMBRIAN: Now as for your next point, if you are who I think you are, it is one of my grandest regrets that I didn’t go to the effort of “poisoning” your victim against you. Maybe he would’ve gotten away sooner. Unfortunately for everyone involved, it took a bit longer, since he took a little time to realise you were a fucking monster and a creep and put a bullet between your eyes about it. Once again, you betray lack of understanding of what actually happened, and also come across as rather a whiny little bitch.

CAMBRIAN: On the subject of your supposed “innocence”, you manipulated and hurt someone I value an incredible amount, and tormented him in a way that’s left lasting psychological scarring. Furthermore, you did everything you were accused of! None of it was untrue, you just didn’t want him to resist you. Your hands are not clean, no matter how much you pretend. You were a predator and a monster and I am glad you were put down like the rabid dog you are, now stop your yapping about it and go back to rotting alone in a dream bubble for eternity. Or better yet, do all of us a favour and curl up and double-die. I’m not going to write up a proper refutation of this one. Go fuck yourself

CAMBRIAN: And finally, on the topic of stealing him, you’re a fucking idiot. I have not stolen him for myself. He is his own, a wonderful person with his own interests and life and skills, none of which you get to see. He allows me and several other people the privilege of knowing him, a thing I am grateful for to this day, but he belongs to himself, utterly and entirely. He has gotten to live past the things you’ve done, built a life for himself. And you will never get to know the person he’s become, because you were nothing but a monster who controlled him for your own sadistic whims, and now he’s gotten away from your influence and is surrounded by people who actually care about him.

CAMBRIAN: this ask was idiotic, arrogant and not even accurate. You have an eternity of your pathetic and monstrous soul withering away ahead of you, use it to write a better one maybe? Or just grow up and accept that you lost, you tried to control and manipulate someone and he (deservedly) killed you for it.

CAMBRIAN: tell me, did it hurt when you died? I hope so. I hope it was agony, I hope the shot wasn’t clean and you bled out. I hope you know the worst pain imaginable, so that when I finally get my fucking hands on you I can match it. You hurt someone I cherish, and if you so much as try to crawl your pathetic corpse back into his or any of our lives, I guarantee I’ll find for you a fate worse than you can imagine.

CAMBRIAN: In short:

GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG AND DIE IN A HOLE YOU BITCH ASS WHORE

CAMBRIAN: :) (:

[always-andromeda]

La Belle Fluer Sauvage…. Jay … hehe

Author's Note | oh, anon, you have no idea what you have just enabled me to do. I am indescribably happy. You have no fucking idea!!

Warnings | smut (MDNI), oral (female receiving), nothing else I can think of!

"I've wondered what you would look like underneath all those clothes." Jay speaks almost wistfully. Like he's contemplating the hills of your chest as he ran a slow, tentative finger down your sternum.

Your breath nearly hitches, "Really?" The thought that you've spent any amount of time in Jay's already packed mind has you sweating under the pressure. He simply nods, eyes darting from your lips to where that dreaded finger is beginning to lead: the waistband of your underwear.

"I've never done this before." you sputter out and search his lidded eyes for any sort of hesitation.

But he takes the confession in stride, raising his strong brow, "Oh, would you like me to stop then?" Now it's your turn to shake your head wildly. You hadn't meant it as a deterrent. Trusting him with anything and everything comes so naturally. You're sure you could tell him your darkest secrets and he'd simply stroke your cheek and look at you with that gaze that begs to hear more. How he manages to overwhelm you with hunger and leave you starving, you may never know.

"You're nervous though, aren't you?" Though he says it more like it's a statement, he waits for you to respond.

"I just...I just want you to do something. I can't keep waiting, Jay."

He smiles lightly at that. You imagine he's thinking of all of the tension and conflict he's knotted up in your belly. How you'd blushed when he told you you'd done so good for him after your last mission. He didn't have to know that that little praise had turned you rabid that night, rubbing at yourself and imagining it was his strong hands doing it for you.

You anticipate something like that image as Jay nudges your nose with his own before pliantly his lips on yours, kissing you softly. As soon as your hand reaches his jaw, the exchange becomes more heated. Muffled gasps and sighs as he shows you who's really taking control.

From between your legs, he could still hypnotize you. Maybe that's what he's doing as he instructs you softly, "Just keep your eyes on me." Because you obey. You sit and watch, breathing heavily, as he presses a chaste kiss right over the soaked center of your underwear. And, god, you ache. You whine his name and watch him brighten a little at the sound.

"Good girl," he whispers before finally taking the dreaded garment off. You almost thank him when you feel the cool air hit your pussy, instantly chilling the glistening slick beginning to form around your lips and sending a shiver up your spine. You don't freeze for too long before the flat of Jay's tongue licks a warm stripe up the center of your folds.

Even though you see it coming from miles away, the soul splitting feeling of his mouth wrapping around your throbbing clit still catches you off guard. He tames you with his tongue, swirling it around the bud; green eyes trained intently on your expression. It takes everything in you not to look away from him. Because with the way he has your hips hitched over his shoulders and holds you flush to his mouth, you wouldn't put it past him to stop.

To slap your thigh and say firmly, "Remember, eyes on me." He would absolutely destroy you. With just a few words, he could obliterate every nerve in your body and he had no clue. The thought makes you groan in frustration, hands feeling around to find something to grasp onto until his own hands meet them. They squeeze yours gently as he continues along, lapping up any and all of the juices your arousal can possibly give him.

More than that, Jay craves the high pitched cry that signals your well deserved release. He had meant what he said. He assumed that underneath your ALF jumpsuit, you would look more radiant than any other earthly sight. Of course he was right, he usually is.

With one last harsh suck on your clit, Jay hears that beautiful call. You let out the most guttural and raw sound that he thinks he's ever heard. It's the kind that persuades him to let your rutting hips slide. Because no matter how much you want to close your eyelids and soak up the pleasure, your gaze stays fixed on him. As his nose bumps into the flesh above your mound, he catches the single tear falling from the corner of one of your eyes. 

Pulling away and replacing his lips with his fingers, he gets you down from your immeasurable high and says the exact words you need to hear from him.

"There you go. You're such a good girl for me."

[vanderlustwords]

okok hear me out: bucky x reader in a zombie apocalypse. one of them gets bit and they either must find a cure quickly or accept what they have to do 👀🔪

why do you make us all angst ma'am. Halloween should be sexy or scary. Or both 😭 I still enjoyed writing this though LOL

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: your heart hurting for Bucky and a poorly-timed confession under duress but nonetheless true!! Angst but implied HEA?

Count: < 1k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"Bucky, you have to."

"Shut the hell up, I won't," Bucky snarled at you.

You bit your lip, trying to hold the tremble in. Bucky's eyes were rimmed red, and you wished this hadn't happened—that none of this happened. You wished you had never met Bucky because then, this wouldn't hurt him like it was now.

"There's a cure, I know there is," Bucky muttered as he tried to bandage you up.

"I'm sure there," you gave him a wry smile. "We just won't find it before I change."

"You don't know that," Bucky insisted.

"Bucky," you sighed. "We're in the middle of nowhere. We have no food and the next town is probably hours away. I'm just slowing you down now," you looked down at your wrist. It was bleeding through the bandage. "If you don't kill me, I'm only going to end up killing you."

Bucky closed his eyes, willing your words to not enter his ears.

"Buck," you said softly. "It's not your fault I got bitten. It's just bad luck."

"No, no, no," Bucky whispered brokenly. "I should've went through first."

"I don't think I would've been able to keep the hoard of zombies off behind us if you'd gone through first," you gave him a crooked smile. "You're a better shot than I am."

Bucky stayed silent, his mind racing a mile a minute. He couldn't lose you. Sure, he'd be reluctant to travel with someone in the beginning. But now, he couldn't imagine facing an apocalypse without you. He couldn't imagine finding safety by himself.

He couldn't imagine being alone.

"I...I can't," Bucky shook his head, his eyelashes becoming wet. "If you're staying here, I'm saying here too."

"Bucky," you sighed with frustration. "That's just going to get you killed or get you bitten too. The safe city is just three days of travelling away. You're so close."

"I'd rather be together than not," Bucky pressed his lips obstinately together. "If we can't go there together, then we're staying here together."

You clenched your jaw. God, he was so fucking stubborn.

There wasn't a cure.

At least none yet.

You were going to change whether you wanted to or not.

But Bucky was fucking condemning himself too, and you'd rather saw your own leg off before that—

"Bucky," you breathed.

"Stop trying to convince me—"

"No, shut up," you shook your head. "I—I think I know how I can stop the change.

Bucky's eyes widened. "How?"

You bit down on your bottom lip. "We know that the bite travels half an inch towards the heart every three minutes." You looked down at your arm, measuring with your thumb as you calculated how long it's been since you were bitten.

You looked back up at him. It was three inches away from your shoulder. "If you can't kill me, then the least you can do is cut off my arm."

"What—"

"Bucky, I'm serious," you cut him off. "If the virus reaches my heart, it's over for me. You need to cut up to the shoulder just in case."

"Are you sure—"

"Of course I'm not fucking sure," you snapped at him. "It's not like anyone else has done this before. But this is the only idea I have because I don't want to leave you either!"

You were breathing harshly at the admittance, lips fully trembling now.

"You think I want to be noble and do the right thing? The selfish part of me wants to tell you to stay here with me until I become rabid and forget everything but because I love you, I want you to live!" You sniffled, using your other hand to wipe at your cheek. "But since you're also a selfish idiot, then this is the only thing we can try to do if we want to keep being together."

Bucky stared at you while you half-yelled at him, not wanting to raise your voice completely and draw attention to where the two of you were.

But damn, Bucky felt like his ears were ringing.

You loved him.

"Okay," Bucky said quietly, his limbs numb. "Okay."

He started to dig through the knapsack he carried. "We don't have painkillers but I have a clean shirt we can wrap around you. I think we have enough bandages and alcohol to hold you over until we reach the next city to look for supplies."

You swallowed as you nodded. You hope you just didn't die from shock.

It wasn't too bad. The virus was already numbing part of your arm.

Bucky pulled his machine out and a rag. "Bite this," he said solemnly, and you took the rag.

"I'll do it quick and in one go, okay?" Bucky promised, his eyes still wet.

"Couple things, you know," you said shakily as you gave Bucky a tiny smile. "Matching missing limbs. Average lovers could never."

Bucky gave you an equally shaky smile. "We're not a couple."

"You think you can chop off my arm and not be my boyfriend? Think again, Barnes," you gave a dry chuckle before you put the rag in your mouth.

"Promise to be your husband if you promise to make it through this," Bucky swallowed hard, holding the machete tight in his hand as he laid you down.

"Let's not be alone, alright?" Bucky whispered as he got in position.

You nodded as you closed your eyes.

[austronauts]

Straight dudebro males in the hockey fanbase are incredibly and weirdly obsessed with mitch’s body and i beg them to STOP before they embarrass themselves further. PLEASE. 

Like, we know that men have been creepily fixated on Mitch’s body way before Mitch was even drafted to the NHL. It is genuinely impossible to look for old Mitch content without stumbling across at least 3 articles and disturbingly robust online discourse about how small and scrawny and “unfit for the NHL” he is but - 

Y’ALL. I! CANNOT! iMAGINE! the ENTITLEMENT of being some 38 yr old man, someone who listens to the Joe Rogan podcast and lives in a gaseous cloud of his own protein shake farts, thinking HE knows MORE about what Mitch’s body should or shouldn’t look like than MITCH HIMSELF (who’s been playing elite-level hockey since he was basically an ultrasound and is litchrally one of the best current players in the NHL) and MITCH’S TEAM OF TRAINERS (for whom maintaining hockey players’ bodies is their LITERAL ASS JOB) 

i am begging them to formulate a better understanding of the sheer range and variety of what athletic bodies can look like, and get it through their calcified gigachad brains that most elite athletes’ bodies are perfectly and painstakingly optimized to best succeed in their specific sport and roles! AND that having bulging biceps and a six-pack are not at all indicative of a person’s athleticism! How do EYE, a sentient potato with a wifi connection, KNOW THIS better than THEM. Like huh? You want Mitch to suddenly become Dwayne the Rock Johnson sized? But you’re still going to expect him to maintain his level of speed and ability to weave intricate plays? It doesn’t work that way, Brockinley.

i also bring this up because sooo much of the straight dudebro men’s obsession with mitch is SO mired in toxic/outdated notions of masculinity and plain old body shaming that have absolutely zero grounding in reality.

Like, “too soft and too weak”? He’s almost always one of the players who logs the most minutes on the ice, and is on both the penalty kill and the powerplay.

He “doesn’t care”? Do you think he would’ve lasted as long with the Toronto Maple Leafs, a franchise that has one of the meanest and rabid fanbases, if he did not care about hockey, his team, or winning.

It’s just so abundantly clear that these eejits’ definition of “strong” or “cares about his team” depend entirely on how many brawny teeth-shattering hits a player is willing to make or take. And I hate this because it’s this kind of idiotic perception that DIRECTLY perpetuates the exploitation of players’ bodies and culture of ignoring/minimizing short-term and long-term injuries in professional sports. 

And sure, Mitch is one of the most prominent young athletes in the NHL right now playing for one of the biggest NHL franchises. And you can’t be a famous professional athlete without making your body - the biggest and only asset you own as an athlete really - available for public scrutiny and discourse. BUT like, these MEN’S obsession with scrutinizing Mitch’s body specifically is just - I’ve rarely seen anything like it lmfao. 

They just hate to see pretty twinks succeed in HOCKeY, a SPORPS that they think is meant for strong brawny MANLY MEN who are all 6′3″ and 220lbs and aren’t afraid to lose all their teeth and retire at the age of 28 from permanent hip labrum damage and CTE. And I feel so sorry for them because :((((( Mitch still isn’t going to fuck you, lads!