#rick started it he used the stupid dumb ass rick word FIRST.

[blushweddinggowns]

When Steve’s mom forced him to get a tutor for biology, he was not happy.  Frankly, he was pissed. Sure he was sitting on a solid D- and yeah he wasn’t exactly known for his academic prowess, but it still sucked. He didn’t have time for tutoring. He had things to do, especially when it came to Sundays. It was one of only two days a week when Steve got Eddie all to himself, no band practice, no sports, no Hellfire, just the two of them. 

But Eddie, the goddamn hypocrite was actually on his mom’s side.

“I’m just saying that it would help with the college thing.” He said, rolling his eyes at the way Steve glared at him. Maybe it would have been more intimidating if he wasn’t currently straddling his lap and playing with a piece of Eddie’s hair, but Steve was too comfortable to move, even if he was pissy. 

“Y’know, there’s a solid chance nothing I do will be good enough for a college.”

“Well then at least we can say you tried, can't we?"

“I’m just saying, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you think I’m just going to start academically succeeding out of nowhere. My dumbass won’t be our ticket out of here,”  Steve sighed, ignoring the way Eddie’s eyes softened at his words. He was staring downward, eyes focused on a suddenly interesting bleach stain on Eddie’s shirt. 

"You’re not stupid Stevie."

And as sweet as that was, it wasn’t true. He was a straight C- student on a good year, and that took effort. And yeah, the two of them may be in the same ballpark with their grades, but it was different. Eddie was actually smart, just not when it came to people outside of Wayne and Steve telling him what to do. He taught himself how to draw, how to write, Jesus, he basically taught himself how to read, all while living in a house from hell for his formative years. He didn’t know what it was like to be truly dumb. He missed 2⁄3 of middle school and he was still doing better in English than Steve was. 

Steve could feel his eyes start to get wet as he sniffed, instantly annoyed at himself for getting emotional over something so stupid. But at least it fits the profile, stupid people do stupid things. 

He didn’t fight it when Eddie hooked a finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at him. He kissed him first, two light pecks to his lips before mumbling against his mouth, “I could never be disappointed in you. You could drop out tomorrow and I’d still love you as much as I do now.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile a little at that, “Yeah?”

“You know I would. And well…in all honesty babe I always thought drug price inflation was going to be our ticket out of here. I have been overcharging ninth graders for like, a year and a half now.”

Steve smacked his lightly in the chest for that, even if it made him laugh, “Ass. If you can’t trust your local drug dealer then who can you trust?”

“Not my fault I have a family to take care of,” Eddie grinned, swooping in for another kiss, "But seriously baby you're not stupid."

Steve opened his mouth to argue but Eddie slapped a hand over it before he had a chance, “And I know you don’t want to hear it but you’re not. Who was the one to find out that Rick was shortchanging me?”

Steve rolled his eyes. That didn’t even count. He was just the first one to notice that the numbers Rick had written didn’t match up with what the scale said, and the first one to threaten him over it. Eddie would have figured it out eventually. 

But he let it go, mumbling beneath his hand,  “I did.”

“And who saved us fifty bucks in rent after threatening the landlord with a lawsuit?”

That…that shouldn’t have counted either. Steve had been on a cleaning kick that day and just happened to stumble across an old copy of their lease. And he only read through it because he was bored waiting for Eddie to come home. And the only reason he knew there were violations was because he spent nearly 80 percent of his time there, and yeah maybe he was good at threatening people with legal jargon, but that was only because he retained shit he’d heard from his dad.

“I did but-”

“But nothing,” Eddie interrupted, “Because you were also the guy who actually paid attention during CPR class and saved that lady from drowning sophomore year. And you’re managing to scam your parents into giving you money while banging gay trailer trash. If that’s not smart, I don’t know what is. So I think that you're more than capable of passing a biology midterm. And even if you're not it won’t erase all of the other things you’ve done. Understand?”

Steve blushed, a confusing mix of annoyed and pleased at the praise. Part of him still wanted to fight him, even if everything he said was technically true. But a bigger part wanted to get back to kissing him, and he knew Eddie wouldn’t let it go without him conceding at least a little. 

“I understand,” Steve sighed, “But if I’m a big fat failure at this you’re still contractually obligated to love me.”

He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck, eyes darting to his lips every few seconds while Eddie chuckled, “Baby, you could try to kill me and I’d still love you.”

Steve leaned back in, tired of waiting. He licked over Eddie’s lips, smiling when he obediently opened his mouth so he could slip his tongue inside. Besides, maybe he was right, maybe Steve could handle it, but it didn’t matter either way. As long as Eddie loved him, he’d be fine. 

And that’s how Steve found himself being shaken awake by Eddie on a Sunday for freaking studying. Yeah the make-out session from last week had been pretty convincing but it was a whole different thing in the light of day. 

He groaned at the sound of Eddie’s voice, purposefully loud as he sang out, “Time to wake up sunshine! You got some learning to do!”

Steve buried his face in his pillow, groaning again when Eddie took that as an invite to sit on him. He leaned over, whispering in his ear, “If you wake up now I’ll make it worth your while.”

Steve giggled, immediately charmed by the asshole who was already starting to tickle his sides, “What, like you did last night? How are you going to top that?”

Eddie whispered a few more things in his ear, some very interesting things that suddenly left certain parts of Steve very much awake. He pushed Eddie off of him before jumping out of bed, scrambling to put on the loosest pair of sweats he owned while Eddie laughed behind him. 

They went downstairs together, and somehow Steve only managed to embarrass himself twice during the whole interaction. It helped that Nancy ended up being  one of the most patient people on the planet, always willing to re-explain the things that Steve didn’t get on the first try. It helped even more knowing that Eddie was in the other room, like his presence alone was his own personal security blanket, even if all he was doing was snoring on the couch. 

The whole thing wasn’t nearly as bad as Steve had been expecting. He had kind of thought that the daughter of someone who could stand to be friends with his mom would be…well a bitch. But Nancy was nothing like that. She was straightforward and to the point, but also kind with 0 condescension to Steve’s lack of studying skills. 

They drove her home after, and he had to admit she dealt with him and Eddie bickering over the radio like a champ. Eventually she just threw her hands up and batted both of them away, with a stern, “Passenger side gets to pick!”

But at least he knew who ABBA was now, and Steve was a pretty big fan of both their music and the way it made Eddie cringe. He kept it on the whole ride home and surprisingly enough, he was actually looking forward to their next session. 

He thought that would be the next time he saw her, so imagine his surprise when he walked into first period with Nancy Wheeler already seated by the window, a book in hand. That was new. He walked up to her, taking the desk in front so he could turn back. She didn’t notice him at first, too absorbed in her book. He gently tapped on her desk, knowing from previous experience that it was really easy to jumpscare people when they were absorbed in reading.

She glanced up at him, surprise written all over her face. Which made sense, this was probably the first class they’d ever had together.

He smiled at her, “When did you get added to this class?”

Steve frowned when she looked away from him before answering, voice quiet, “I’ve uh, been here all year actually.”

Steve blinked at her, stomach twisting in a knot. Oh. Oh no. Could he look like a bigger dick? But maybe he could still save this, “Oh. Then I guess this is what you meant when you said we’ve met before?”

Nancy shook her head, still looking anywhere but at Steve’s face, “It was uh, actually last year? We were lab partners in Mrs. Kay's chemistry class. And um, I guess as a warning I’m also in your History class. And uh, Biology. That’s why I’m your tutor.”

Steve stared at her, mouth opening and closing like an idiot. He knew that he was a bit notorious for his one track mind, but he didn’t realize that it was that bad, “I am so sorry.”

She shrugged, “It’s not your fault I’m forgettable.”

Steve opened his mouth to argue, but the next thing he knew he was being shushed by the teacher and Nancy was already back to reading. He wiped a hand down his face, mind already racing on just what he could do to make up for accidentally ignoring her existence for a year plus. But by the time class ended and he turned around she was already walking out of the door. 

She was fast for such a little person. And despite the fact that they apparently had three classes together he couldn’t manage to catch her once. He whined to Eddie about it the whole way home, glaring at him when he had the audacity to laugh. Steve was still pouting about it by the time they walked through the front door of the trailer, especially since Eddie was still giggling behind him. 

“Babe, I said I was sorry! And hey, at least you didn’t fake date her right?”

Steve groaned as he flopped down into their bed, only the slightest bit appeased when he felt Eddie tug his shoes off for him, “Lab partners is so much worse. I didn’t even know her name until last week. I’m awful.”

“Oh come on, you can still win her over!” Eddie said as he plopped down next to him, laughing when Steve immediately started to play with his hair, “You just got to use some of that signature Harrington charm.”

Steve sighed as he twisted a lock of Eddie's hair around his finger, trying and failing to make his brain come up with an answer. But then it hit him, “Hey, do you still have enough stuff here to make more muffins?”

Eddie raised a brow at him, “Are you going to try and bribe her into liking you with chocolate?”

“If you make them for me I will,”  Steve was trying to put on his most convincing face, the cute one that almost always got Eddie to do what he wanted. And it seemed to be working if the way his eyes softened was anything to go by. 

Eddie sighed, pretending to think about it for a second, “What’s in it for me?”

Steve leaned into kiss him, two quick pecks to the side of his mouth before saying, “My undying love?”

Steve loved how something so corny was enough to make Eddie melt, “Deal.”

God, he was so easy. 

He left Eddie to bake while he drove all the way back to his house. There were a lot of other things he’d rather be doing than digging around in his mom’s desolate wrapping paper drawer in the middle of the night, but he made it work. 

By the time he got back to the trailer they were baked and cooled, and Steve made sure to give Eddie a thorough kiss for his efforts. He wrapped a few of them up in some purple cellophane, paired with a pink and white bow, the least ugly combination he was able to find at one a.m.

He added a small white card, scribbling a little something into it before presenting it to Eddie in bed, “Tada! What do you think?”

Eddie laughed as he took it from him to inspect, in good spirits despite the fact that Steve insisted he stayed awake until it was finished. He seemed just as impressed with his handiwork as Steve was, “I think it’s perfect."

Steve preened, “You think she’ll like it?”

“She’ll love it,” Eddie reassured before gently placing it on the nightstand. He grabbed Steve’s arm, hauling him down from his sitting position to nearly laying on top of him before grabbing a blanket to cover them both up in, “Now can we please go to sleep?”

Steve didn’t argue when Eddie went to turn off the light. He was right, especially since he was going to make them wake up early on top of it.

The next morning Steve was actually in class early. For the first time in well…ever. But Nancy had still beat him there. She was in her usual place, nose in her book. She didn’t even look up when Steve sat in front of her, but she did startle a bit when he dropped the gift on her desk. 

He grinned at her, way too excited for her reaction, “These are for you! To say I’m sorry for y’know. Being oblivious.”

Nancy looked at the muffins and back to Steve, a small smile slowly growing on her face, “You made me apology muffins?”

“Well…Eddie made them,” Steve admitted, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, “But I helped! And did the decorating and wrote the card.”

Nancy plucked the small card off the ribbon. She read it out loud, her small smile transforming into a full blown grin, “‘I’m Sorry I’m an Asshole.’ I’m guessing you did the little frowny face too?”

Steve nodded, “I may have the art skills of a ten year old but I do mean it. You’re not forgettable Nancy. I’m just an inconsiderate moron. Okay?”

Nancy stared down at the gift in her hands before looking back to Steve, voice soft, “I…thanks. I appreciate that.”

They talked for a while after that and Steve was pretty sure he was planted firmly on the path of forgiveness. But he wanted to be 100 percent sure. He had made it this far, why not push a little more?

“Do you want to have lunch together today?”

Nancy looked more than a little surprised at the request, “Oh, I already have plans with Barb.”

Steve shrugged, “She can come too. The four of us can go to Benny's and get some burgers or something.”

“Isn’t that against school rules?”

Steve smiled to himself. He forgot for a second that he was talking to a goody two shoes over here, “Only if you get caught. And if we did Eddie and I would take the blame, scout’s honor.”

She bit her lip, hesitating before finally nodding her head, “If Barb says yes then, um, sure.”

That was good enough for Steve, even if he had no clue who Barb was. But he’d trust Nancy’s judgment. And surprisingly the whole thing goes a lot better than Steve had been expecting. He was a little scared that their table would be dead quiet after they all realized they had nothing in common, a completely unfounded fear considering that Eddie was with them. He had a knack for getting people to open their mouths, even if it was only to tell him to shut up. And that little skill was great to get both girls to open up a little. 

Turns out Steve and Nancy actually had something in common, a mutual love for Blondies, in particular Heart of Glass, while Barb and Eddie both agreed that it was one of the most annoying things they’d ever heard. They created a united front to tease them both over it, and Nancy and Steve bonded over just how misunderstood Deborah Harry was. 

It was fun, fun enough for Eddie to invite them both to lunch more and more often. Nancy says yes more than Barb, who is surprisingly busy with a few of her extracurriculars. But it’s still fun. Nancy’s fun. And soon spending lunch together turns into inviting her over to watch a movies with him and Eddie at the trailer, or getting food while Eddie was caught up in Hellfire or Band practice. 

It all snowballs into the two of them spending a lot more time together, most of it outside of their tutoring sessions. And Steve was starting to think that he had actually managed to make a friend.  The real cincher is just how well she gets along with Eddie, and watching them both laugh together was enough to make Steve feel all warm and happy inside. 

Because he likes Nancy. Like, really likes her. Like doesn’t want to throw her to the wayside likes her. She’s smart and kind, a little strict in a weird but pleasant way. And sometimes he’ll look at her and Barb doing something, something as casual as whispering to each other at  the lockers, all smiles and shared secrets, and Steve can’t help but want that. 

Because he doesn’t really have his own friends outside of Eddie. He has his teammates sure, but it’s not like he can let himself get too close to them. Then there were Eddie’s friends, and they were all great, really, but they weren’t…his. There was Wayne, but as much as he loved him he’d always be more of a parent then a friend. That said, Eddie was still his best friend. He loved Eddie, he loved Eddie more than anything on the planet. 

But he can’t…talk to Eddie about Eddie. And yeah, maybe it was a bit too feminine to want to gossip about your boyfriend at the lockers with a new girl bestie. But then again, he probably lost his “man” card the second he shoved his tongue down Eddie's throat for the first time. And it’s not just that he wants someone to talk about his relationship. He wants her to be able to talk to him too. Whether it be her own crushes or complaining about her parents, he wanted to connect with her more. It sounded…fun. Maybe gay as hell but whatever. Technically it was fitting. 

But he knew that he couldn’t have that if he didn’t tell her the truth. 

~

 From this fic, and the 1.5 Part of this post

Part 2 Part 3

@missarte-beltane

Idk tag etiquette so I only added the person who asked for it because I don't want to be annoying! But if you want to be added let me know!

[jeezricksa]

c-136  grandpa  and  grandson  insist  on  pissing  each  other  off  by  using  the  words  “rick-diculous”  and  “morty-fied”  solely  for  the  undiluted  feeling  of  joy  upon  seeing  one  another  cringe.  thatse  it

[starlessea]

"Don’t Cry”

A/N This started off as a drabble, but I got carried away and it turned into a one-shot. I’m really happy with how this one turned out! Based on number #39 from this prompt list for @phoenixblack89​

Summary: Daryl hates seeing your tears. He’d much rather see you smiling, instead.

Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee

Atlanta High School.

You’d graduated a long while back — so long ago now that you’d forgotten the feeling of walking its halls, and having your shoes squeak against the cheap wooden planks.

You could see the rows of lockers you’d chatted by daily, and the one in particular where you’d shared your first kiss with a boy whose name you couldn’t remember. The doors of the classrooms seemed familiar, as did the posters on the walls which were the same as they’d been when you attended — something about washing your hands and remembering to vote for class president.

It was as though time stood still.

And, in this very moment, there was nothing you wished for more.

Daryl’s hand was warm on your cheek, and his thumb gentle as he drew faint circles over your skin. You leaned into his touch, the same way you’d done with that boy against your locker — not even a few feet away.

But this was different.

This was Daryl.

Your lips quivered, trembling like a leaf stuck in the wind. Your hands felt numb as they pressed against him, so hard that you thought they would bruise. But all you could hear were those damn lockers — their doors slamming open and closed as they caught in the draft.

Like a sarcastic fucking applause.

Daryl tilted your head up, gently guiding your gaze from his collar to his face, where your eyes caught his. And your breath died in your throat, before bubbling into a sob that rang out in the air like the Atlanta High School bell.

He was smiling.

“Don’t cry,” he said — in the most calm, accepting tone you’d ever heard a person speak. It lacked all of his usual bite, the gruffness you’d come to know and associate with the man.

It sounded foreign.

Maybe that was why, despite his words, the tears poured over anyway, and settled on your cheeks where he swiped them away with a flick of his thumb.

“I wan’-” he started, but paused for a second to grimace from the pain. “I wanna remember ya smilin’.”

You choked on another watery cry, shaking your head away from his gentle hold, as you returned your focus to his wound.

The bite on his collarbone was deep, gushing blood quicker than you could soak it up with the tattered remnants of your jacket. His skin was a stark, vermillion red, as were your hands, as was the floor, as were those fucking lockers where you’d smeared his blood as you tried to carry him to safety.

Everything was red, red, red.

You pressed more firmly, soaking it up with fluttering hands that burnt from the sheer heat of his skin. He felt like a match having been set alight — burning brilliantly beneath your palms as you tried your best to quell the flames.

Daryl rested his hand over yours, engulfing it. “Listen to me, ” he rasped — and you panicked at how much more weak his voice was sounding — “there’s flares in my rucksack.”

He glanced over your shoulder, at the abandoned bag sitting near your feet. It was stuffed with supplies from the school — all of which were now completely useless, and nowhere near worth his goddamn life.

Sweat beaded on his skin, and collected in the dips of his collar — like little pools of salt water.

He squeezed your hand. “Ya gotta get to the roof an’ flag down Rick,” he told you, his smile dropping from his face as he became much more serious. “He’ll come for ya.”

Your hands stilled over the wound for a second, easing their pressure as you took in the man’s words. Then he flashed those eyes at you, which begged for you not to argue.

But you did.

You kicked out your leg behind you, sending that backpack sliding across those cheap wooden planks, and making it thud against a locker. You didn’t need the flares.

You just needed Daryl.

“I can’t-” you yelled, but your voice split, and the man quickly hushed you before it got too loud. After all, the dead had you surrounded. “I’m not leaving you behind,” you spluttered.

Your tone was frantic, panicked, desperate.

You could feel his heartbeat pounding underneath your palms, where you pressed down against it. It was as though you held his heart in your hands — and he’d probably argue that you always had.

Daryl shook his head smally, careful not to disturb the bite further. “An’ ya can’t take me with ya,” he replied.

No, you thought, you would carry him out if it killed you, you would fight your way through, and get him to the infirmary, and you could-

“I ain’t gonna make it, baby girl,” he whispered, “‘m sorry.”

And you broke.

Suddenly, you were aware of the flickering overhead lights that made his skin look so clammy, so sickly. You were conscious of the blood smear trail he’d left behind — that vibrant scarlet which reminded you of a burning sunset — and the pounding at the doors, and the feet squeaking on those floorboards like the lunchtime rush between classes.

“You will!” you yelled, not at all caring about how loud you’d gotten. “You have to, Daryl,” you cried, pleadingly.

His hand felt so warm that it made yours seem cold. It felt like you were the one dying — your heart shattering each time he took a wheezed breath, or flinched in pain.

“How am I-” you asked, but by now your voice had tapered off to a mere whisper. You shook your head. There was no question about it. “I can’t go on without you,” you told him.

You could hear the blood rushing to your ears as your breaths got away from you — too shallow and too sparse. Daryl looked worse each passing minute, his olive skin now a translucent grey.

He took both of your hands in his, making you drop your jacket, as blood seeped through the material of his shirt. You tried to fight against him, eyeing the trail of red as it ran along his collar like a stream, but he kept a hold of your wrists firmly — with the little strength he had left.

“Ya can,” he growled — the grit to his voice causing you to instantly still — “an’ ya will.”

And he flashed those eyes at you again, but this time they had his usual spark behind them.

“Yer the damn strongest woman I e’er met,” he went on, letting his grip loosen on your wrists ever so slightly, “‘m jus’ happy a dumb ol’ redneck like me got to spend a couple good years with ya.”

Then, he smiled.

“It was fun.”

He let your hands drop out of his, no longer having any fight left. But instead, you used them to clamber onto his lap, wrapping them around his torso as you buried your head deep into his chest — his warm, red chest.

“Please don’t talk like that!” you cried, your words muffled by his clothes and lost to his skin.“I’m not going anywhere! I want to stay with you-”

“Nah, that ain’t happenin’,” he snapped — but his hand remained light on your head, gently stroking your hair in his attempts to calm you. “I swear to god, I’ll haunt yer ass if ya dare pull somethin’ tha’ stupid.”

But you grabbed onto his shirt until your knuckles flashed white, bunching up the material in your fists like you couldn’t bear to part with it. It smelt like him — underneath the coppery scent of fresh blood.

Slowly, he tried to coax you out, but you could feel the way his hands shook, and it only made everything worse. Those hands had always been strong — had always been the ones to pick you up and set you back on your feet every time you fell.

“Look a’ me,” he pleaded, his voice croaky. He tilted your chin up again, in the same way he did every time he went to kiss you — and it made your heart hurt, because no kiss followed. “C’mon now, don’ cry,” he whispered, his breath much too hot against your skin, “‘m here.”

“But you won’t be,” you wailed, the words startling you as they crept out from your mouth.

You hadn’t wanted to admit them.

“But I am now,” Daryl replied, just as quick. “So please jus’ smile for me, would ya?”

His hand fell down to your waist, before rubbing small circles in the small of your back — just how he did every morning to wake you up.

You couldn’t do it, but you needed to do it.

For Daryl.

You uncurled yourself from his chest, and wiped away the fresh tears with your shirt, blinking away the rest. You moved in his lap until you were face to face, trying not to catch a glimpse of his wound which continued to pour red.

Then, you finally smiled back at him.

It was wobbly, and forced, but it was wide — and full of love.

“Atta girl,” he choked back, his voice breaking for the first time.

You couldn’t tell whether his glassy eyes were from the fever, or the pain, or from you, but you bit your lip either way.

Don’t cry, you told yourself, and watched as he did.

“Yer so goddamn beautiful,” he mumbled, raising his thumb to the corner of your lips. It was as callous as always, but at this moment it only felt soft. “I was one lucky son o’ a bitch,” he declared, with a warm smile.

You raised your hands in return, cupping his face and feeling his beard tickle over your palms — thinking back to the times you complained at how unkempt it was. His forehead dropped down onto yours, and the heat from his skin radiated outwards, setting you ablaze as you touched.

“I love you, Dixon,” you confessed, as though it were the first time and not the last. “Now and always.”

The overhead lights hummed as they flickered like camera flashes, and the pounding at the door became more incessant.

So, you drowned everything out with a press of your lips to his — as Daryl tilted your head up in the way he always did, and gave you one final kiss which tasted like seasalt and copper. It was underneath the locker where you’d had your first kiss, but now it marked your last one with the man you loved most in this world.

“Me too,” Daryl whispered, as you broke apart. He glanced over your shoulder once again, at the discarded backpack across the hall. “Now get outta here before they break through.”

You stumbled to your feet violently, needing a strong, stark shock to actually be enough to pull you away from the man for good.

And you didn’t look back.

You couldn’t. If you so much as caught a glimpse of those angel wings or heard as little as a breath escape his mouth, you wouldn’t have left.

And that would’ve killed Daryl in more ways than one.

So, you retrieved the backpack, and opened the fire escape door a few feet away, before slipping behind it, and sliding down to your knees.

The concrete cut your skin open, and once again you were confronted with red.

A cry escaped you, which morphed into a wail as you clutched your chest and tried to fix the bleeding happening inside it — the red that you couldn’t see.

But a shout startled you, and ceased your sobs as soon as they sounded.

“Don’ cry!” Daryl’s voice yelled, muffled by the metal door but still strong, and guttural, and fierce. “I can hear ya!”

So, you picked yourself back up, and set yourself on your feet in the same way he’d taught you how — and you ran for the roof, flare in hand.

Atlanta High School always had the best rooftop view.

The sunset stretched out in the distance, one of brilliant vermillion, and warm, copper orange. The balcony was the same as you remembered, with high metal railings to keep students from jumping, or getting too close to that view.

This roof had been the place where you’d yelled about hating this place, this town, this state — and had cried out to the sky about wishing to anywhere but here.

But now you didn’t want to leave.

Because your everything was right here.

You held the flare in your hand, wondering what colours it would burst and illuminate the sky — whilst praying it would be anything other than red.

You let off the flare, and a single gunshot followed.

End.

Feedback is always welcomed; I love hearing what you all think - so feel free to comment, send in an ask, or just message me if you want to chat!

Also, if you enjoy my writing, you might want to buy me a coffee or commission me - tips are always appreciated. Thank you for reading!

A/N Blame Jess and Shannon for the increase in angst.

But I’m glad to be getting more comfortable with writing it!

How did you guys find this one? I actually think it’s one of my personal faves? Please let me know :)

Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the tags!

Tag List:

@xxboesefrauxx @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @teel-dinosaur @speakinglikeconstellations @bunnymother93 @alularae3 @death-becomes-her @royaleclown @alex-sulli @julesmalek @fuseburner @riverscyberwife @browneyes528 @julesclues @diaryofkali @solinarimoon @ssonia13 @phoenixblack89 @srhxpci @jocyc1997 @bvbwestfall @graniairish @bitchynicole @whitexwingedxdoves @potatochic2003 @suranne-doesstuff @witch-of-letters @sweatywildpanda @daryldixonstorm @btsiguess-kpop @dead-leviathan @reichelhache @thatmemechick @lokiswhqre @marylimlp @jodiereedus22 @shittyoudidntneedtoknow @deadthewalking @abbyz28 @pandorahurtsx @mileysnavely @wceasley @abzidabzy @caelys @chiliiscereal @2257-blr @i-knowyou @daryloverdixon @sunnyjellybean @potplantbedspread @alkeino @trash-dino-5000 @odys @m3l4t7n1n @captainbobbybarnes @huffledor-able541​ @byakugan-breathing 

[thebigqueer]

A while back you mentioned something about the Apollo kids parents meeting up every one in a while and Apollo running into them during one of those times. Do you think you could write a lil fic about that?

ahhh yes that’s one of my favorite headcanons!!

thanks for the prompt, and i hope you like this! and, as always: i do little to no editing on these fic prompts, so don’t be too judgmental as you read through them. they’re definitely not my best work but i just can’t ever be bothered to look back aslkdjslfkd

this will be in first person because idk i really loved apollo’s pov in first person so i hope i do his character justice lmaoo

also as i was writing this i’m not gonna lie i felt really bad for apollo all he wanted was to have some time with his children 😭

also!!! we are!!! so starved!!! for dad!apollo moments!!!! bro can we just!!! see more dad!apollo moments!!!! come ON rick!!!! i didn’t realize how much i wanted them until i wrote this halskjfaslkjf 

I will say, I wasn’t quite sure what to be expecting when I came down to the mortal world today. It definitely was not to find out all of my exes regroup annually to mock me. 

Since becoming a god again, I’ve made it a personal promise to come down every once in a while. I’ve grown quite attached to these mortals, especially to my demigod children. After all, my own descendants are the best of all living beings; it’s only fair that I come and talk to them every once in a while. And, believe it or not, being around mortals helps me, too. It makes me find comfort in a world where lives may be short but lives are lived; as a god, I only ever exist. 

When I was human, though, I truly lived. It was exhilarating. Now that I am a deity again, there’s a hollowness that resides in me.

Sometimes coming down to this mortal world helps me simulate that experience of being human again. It helps me feel less lonely up in my world of immortality and timelessness. 

The sun blazes overhead as I traipse along to my cabin after just meeting with Dionysus. The insufferable bastard beat me once again at pinochle and would not stop gloating, so I decided to storm away from the wine god before he could start beating my ass in Uno.

However, as I approach my cabin, my rage ebbs away. My demigod children stand around the entrance, talking in hushed voices, and my heart bursts with warmth. It has only been a few weeks since I’ve last seen them, but each time I do, I feel only a flush of pride looking at them.

“My children!” I exclaim. “I’m here once again!” 

They all jump as if I’ve scared them. For a moment, no one says anything. Then they break apart and each of them offer me a shaky smile of their own. 

“Hey, Dad,” Will says, his voice a bit higher than I remember.

I step forward, happiness flooding over me. It hasn’t been too long since I’ve seen them but it certainly feels like it’s been millennia. “How are you all?”

Kayla pushes a pack over her shoulder. “We’re... good. How are you?”

Her words carry a bit of hesitation as if she’s nervous. Suspicion crawls over me. I cross my arms and respond, “I’m good too. Why do you have that bag over your shoulder?”

Austin, Will, and Kayla all turn to each other, sharing a look of panic. A shiver runs through me as I realize they’re up to something. I smile. “Ohhh, are you planning something? A prank, perhaps?” I rub my hands in anticipation. “Can I get in on it?”

Austin raises a hand and scratches his head. “Um, not quite. We’re actually... going somewhere.” 

Panic seizes my heart and I rush forward. “Going somewhere? Where? Like, a quest?” I reach out to my children and hug them, feeling each of their bodies in my arms. “Why did no one tell me? Oh, gods, what if I never see you again?” Tears well up in my throat. I’ve only just come down to the mortal world, and they’re already leaving for doom?

“No, no, no!” Kayla exclaims, pushing against my arms. “Not like that, Dad! Not a quest. We’re just going out to the city. No need to worry.” 

Relief washes over me and I laugh, taking my arms away from them. “Oh, that’s great! Are you going somewhere fun? Can I come?”

Before any of them can answer, a familiar demigod steps out of the Apollo cabin. They step towards Will and hand him a pack of ambrosia. It takes me for a moment to remember that it’s Nico di Angelo. He opens his mouth to speak to Will, then stops when they notice me. “Oh no,” they mutter. 

“What do you mean, oh no?” I ask, the claws of suspicion creeping over my skin once more. “What are you three up to? Is Nico coming with you?”

Nico whispers to the three, “You haven’t told him?”

“Not a good time,” Kayla hisses.

“Well, I guess now is a better time than never,” Nico says. They turn to me and state blatantly, “They’re going to meet their parents in New York City.” 

Kayla and Austin smack their faces and Will sighs. “You could have let us say it,” the blond mutters.

“Better to know from a child that isn’t his,” the child of Hades reasons, shrugging.

I blank. I was not quite expecting that response, and definitely not so casually. I stare at the four demigods quizzically. “Oh? I suppose that’s fair. But all three of you? All your parents know each other?”

“Um, well... they’re kind of friends,” Austin admits. “They... communicate often.”

A wave of humility washes over me. I will admit, it’s a little bit embarrassing knowing that the three people you’ve had children with all know each other and actively communicate. I would have suspected they’d feel a bit awkward with each other, but I didn’t quite expect they would be actual friends.

I tip my head in a sad nod. “I see. Well, I hope all three of you have fun today!” I’m trying not to sound too upset, but it’s a little bit hard when you’ve come down to the mortal world just to find out your children are going to be going into the city far away from you.

“Hey, Dad, we can hang out later!” Will suggests, a kind smile balancing over his lips. But he’s only saying that out of pity. He feels bad for me. This makes me crawl in further into myself.

“Yes, that sound alright,” I promise, feigning a smile. "But, really, don’t feel bad.” My shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “The last time I met your parents their careers were becoming quite busy. I suppose you don’t see them as often as you’d like, is that correct? And at this point, you’ve been seeing me even more often than your own mortal parents. It’s only fair that you have some private time with them.”

A tense silence tightens the air around us. Austin shifts on his feet. After a moment, Kayla says, “Well, we better go. We’ll see you later, though!”

A cold fist seizes my heart.

Will winces. He reaches over and squeezes my shoulder. “We’re sorry to leave you like this, but we didn’t expect you to come by today. We can definitely do something later, though. The three of us will be back by six. Nico’s going to do ghost stories tonight, too, so maybe you’ll want to hear those.”

I wave my hand dismissively and try on a smile that doesn’t quite fit right. “No, really, don’t feel too bad. I’ll come by later and we can do a movie night together after Nico’s ghost stories. I’ll see you later! And have fun!”

They all glance at each other hesitantly, then seem to come to a collective agreement. “Thanks, Dad,” Austin says, pulling me in for a hug. The other two do the same, then all three demigods wander out into the sun, aiming for the exit out of camp.

Nico stares at me, eyebrows raised. “So, what are you going to do now?” Picking at their jeans, they add, “You’re Apollo, so I’m expecting that you will be doing something stupid.”

I frown. “Those are brave words for a demigod to say to a powerful deity.”

“You’re too mushy at this point to pulverize me. They’ve made you soft.” He means it as an insult but their eyes glimmer. A smile laces his mouth.

I offer them a smile back. “Well, I suppose you are correct. I shall see you for your god-tier ghost stories.” 

Nico shakes his head and turns to leave. “Please never reference modern things ever again.”

~

A little bit later, I’m balancing on a chair at a pizza shop in New York City. I’ve chosen the disguise of a businessman, mostly copying the image of a fairly attractive man I met on the way. Perhaps I will go and look for him after I’m done stalking my children. 

The scent of pizzas swirl around me, contaminating my nose. The excited chatter of families and friends surround me. Some afternoon sun pours in through the open windows, offering the entire pizza place a relaxed look.

Somewhere to my left, a large group eats and talks, laughter echoing from their table. All my children are sitting to one side of the booth, while the adults loom over them on the other. Will’s bright blond hair gleams blindingly as the sun washes over his locks. 

I wasn’t quite sure of what I was expecting from all three of my exes. Perhaps more gray hair, some wrinkles over their faces. No doubt all three of them have those, but they each look at peace, happy with life. There’s a brightness in their eyes as they gaze at their children. 

I understand that look. I feel the same pride when I see all three of them. 

Envy roils inside me. I’m not sure why, considering that I see the three demigods more often than they see their own mortal parents. Perhaps I’m just nervous that they adore their mortal parents more than they care for me. 

But I wouldn’t blame them if they did either. I’ve spent too long only caring about myself. A coil of embarrassment wraps around me.

But I’m changing that now, aren’t I? I wasn’t the best parent, but I can only hope my children are seeing that I’m here for them. I only want what’s best for them.

Another burst of laughter erupts from the booth, and I turn my head, straining my ears to listen. Naomi’s silky voice echoes over them: “...and just as he got up he tripped over himself and fell on the ground. Honestly, I have no idea how he could have been a god, but he sure was dumb.” Naomi sighs. “Maybe that’s why I thought he was so adorable. People just constantly try to impress me. He did, too, but at least he was failing. He may have been a god, but he seemed almost human the night I met him.”

With a shiver, I realize that she’s discussing the moment she met me. Red hot embarrassment spreads over my face. Gods of Olympus, that was a terrible evening for me. I was just so awestruck by her performance. She literally made me come down just to see her perform. I could barely contain my excitement when the show was over!

Will’s sunny voice stands out, amusement lacing his voice. “Speaking of dating, tell us about your new girlfriend. I don’t remember you telling me about her too much at our last Iris message.” 

My eyes widen. Girlfriend? I wasn’t aware Naomi was queer! A pang of guilt stabs me in the heart. What else don’t I know about my loved ones? I know I haven’t quite kept up with her, but shouldn’t I at least know this about her? 

Shouldn’t I know anything about the three of my exes?

The chatter continues for a bit longer. The adults discuss some more dating history, especially surrounding their humiliating encounters with me. I cower behind my newspaper, feeling only the heat of embarrassment under my skin. Why must I be such an idiot?

Perhaps this is why my children don’t seem to like to me too much. Because I only ever do things to embarrass them. Maybe I’m just a loser of a father.

As I wallow in my own pity, the conversation turns another direction. My ears strain a little more. This time Latricia is speaking, a whisper of nostalgia brushing through her words: “He sure was something. But I think that we can all agree on something: I’m glad he came into my life. Without him...” Her lips quirk into a smile and she brushes her fingers over Austin’s. “Well, without him, I don’t think we’d have each of you. He really brought light into our lives.” She sighs. “He may not have stuck along too much, but you three make it sound like he’s getting better. I’m just glad that... that you’re getting to talk with him again. It seems like he really is starting to care about his children.” Latricia’s eyes rove over all three children, eyes glimmering with satisfaction. “I’m glad he’s seeing you three in the same light as we do.”

My ears turn hot and a red blush coats my cheeks. She’s right; I do appreciate them. Without my children, I don’t know how I could have managed to get through everything I did. Even now, after all that’s happened, it feels as though I have nothing better to look forward to than knowing how amazing they are. Tears stab my eyes. 

And I almost jump out of my seat when someone calls, “You can stop hiding behind that newspaper, Apollo. We know it’s you.”

The voice surprises me so much I pop right back into my typical godly form, chiton and all. I’m already so embarrassed that I barely even realize that I’m half naked in public now. Grimacing, I stand and offer an awkward wave. “Ah, hello.”

Darren Knowles smiles at me, a knowing sparkle in his eyes. “You thought you were being stealthy, didn’t you?”

It’s been a while since I’ve really seen Darren, and the years have certainly aged him. Yet there’s still a flutter in my chest as I look at him. He doesn’t look so bad; he’s probably in his thirties or forties. I smile. “Well, I thought my godly powers would help disguise me.”

“Not as well as you thought,” Latricia remarks, smirking at me.

“How long have you known I was here?”

This time, Kayla speaks up. “Dad, we literally knew you were here the moment you got here.”

I blink. “And you didn’t call me out?”

Will shakes his head. “We wanted to see what you’d do. Gotta say, I’m surprised you didn’t do anything too spontaneous. Good job.” 

He’s teasing me, but even then I feel a brush of humility come over me. “Well, I have to say that I didn’t quite know you three only come together to make fun of me.”

Naomi waves her hand in a dismissive manner. “Only to make sure our children know how lucky we are to have them.” Her eyes rove over me, almost as if judging how much I’ve changed. “I haven’t seen you in a while," she notes.

The three adults share a look, carrying a silent conversation with each other. Will, Austin, and Kayla watch me as if they expected me to do exactly this. Austin laughs. “You really don’t take no for an answer, do you?”

I shrug. “I just... I don’t know. I know I already see you three often enough, but I suppose I just wanted to see how things were going. Especially with your parents.” I glance at them, my cheeks blooming red. “I haven’t exactly been the best parent in the past. I just want to apologize. And let you know that your children... Well, they’re some of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met. You’ve raised them better than I could ever have.”

Silence lingers in the air, waiting for someone to make the next move. Then Darren gestures to the food before them. “Why don’t you sit? I suppose we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

Blame Me - Chapter 5

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Specified gender: Female

Word Count: 12K

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader,

TW: Canon typical violence, canon divergence, gore, murder, mention of past child death, mention of major character death (OC), Daryl and Aaron bonding time, Daryl and y/n bonding time, major character death

Genre: Horror ig?

Series: Blame Me

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

A/N: Okay, this is probably my least favourite chapter, but I can’t wait to write the next chapters. Chapter 6 and 7 are gonna be painful y’all so good luck. Enjoy!

<i>Daryl was quiet, Beth noticed. He was always quiet, but not like this. He hadn't been like this since after he'd lost his girl. Not that anyone knew that except for his asshole older brother. Beth was worried, about everyone, but right now, she was worried for Daryl most of all. Any time he <b>did</b> open his mouth, something sarcastic, cold or cynical came out. It wasn't like him. Maybe in the early days, but definitely not now. He couldn't stop thinking about everyone they'd lost. Not just at the prison, everyone they'd lost along the way. Even who he'd lost before. He didn't have much to lose before, but the people he had, were everything. She was everything. But she was gone. Probably dead. He was just holding out hope on another pipe dream. But even despite that, he couldn't bring himself to remove his ring. The cool metal almost burnt his skin whenever he thought about her, or anyone else he'd lost. Like a reminder of his failure. Since the prison had fallen, every day with Beth felt like a blur.

He shouldn't dwell on it, he knew that, but he couldn't help but wonder how many people died. How many people got out. If anyone other than him and Beth did. Part of him thought that it didn't matter.  Hershel was dead because he didn't kill the Governor when he had the chance. He owed it to the vet to protect his daughter. And somehow, that had ended up with them in some old shed, something similar to what he and Merle would have lived in once upon a time, in the middle of the woods. Somehow, he'd ended up playing a dumb game, like some damn teenagers. At least Beth wasn't too far off. He took a sip of the moonshine as she started explaining, clearly slightly tipsy from her first-ever drink.

"So first, I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch. You really don't know this game?" Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise, not deterred by his so-called "intimidating" stare. Daryl moved the hand that was in front of his face, shifting his position slightly.

"I never needed a game to get lit before."

"Wait, are we startin'?" She asked, and while her face stayed the same, Daryl picked up on the teasing lilt in her voice, eyes shining slightly.

"How do you know this game?" He questioned, using his pinky to point at her

"My friends played. I watched," She shifted slightly before lightly shaking her head "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

Daryl reached forward to the glass of water and lifted it to his mouth, looking just as unamused as before "Ain't much of a game."

"That was a warm-up. Now you go," Beth insisted but Daryl just stared back at her for a second, shrugging.

"I don't know."

"Just say the first thing that pops into your head," She shot back with a small smile. Plenty of things popped into his head, but they were too personal to share with Beth. Too much about his girl. He didn't know if he was ready to tell her yet. Daryl knew Beth wouldn't care, not really, but just thinking about her made his brain and chest hurt. An aching he couldn't get rid of.

"I've never been out of Georgia," Was the answer he settled on. He was gonna leave Georgia, right after his hunting trip. Leave early, fly to South Carolina and surprise (Y/N) and her ma. But it never happened. Dead made sure of that. Beth's eyebrows rose slightly. He was an outdoorsy guy, a hunter. She thought he'd have been all over.

"Really? Okay, good one. I've never... been drunk and did somethin' I regretted," She stated after taking a sip of her drink. Beth knew she was starting to push the line slightly. Knew his fuse was slightly shorter after the prison. But he didn't bat an eye, just reached forward and had a drink.

"I've done a lot of things," He replied, keeping his gaze on the table. Yeah, like leave his girl behind. Didn't even go looking. What kind of husband didn't even try to find his wife when the world ended? "I never been on vacation."

"What about campin'?" Beth questioned but Daryl shook his head immediately.

"No, that was just something I had to learn to hunt," Because, his family were shitty people, and didn't even think to go looking when he went missing as a kid. Not that he added that.

"Your dad teach you?" She asked, and she knew that the line was getting toed here. She'd never asked about his dad, but from interactions she'd overheard with Daryl and Rick, sometimes Carol or even Carl, their relationship hadn't been pretty. Daryl released a hum of agreement.

"Alright... never have I ever been in love," Beth said, and she saw Daryl's eyes flicker down to the ring she still wore from when she was still with Jimmy. She didn't really expect much, but it was the only thing that came to mind.  His eyebrows furrowed slightly, bristling at the implication behind her words, and he found himself spinning his own ring with his thumb, absentmindedly.

"The hell ya implyin'" He snapped, eyes narrowing slightly, and Beth looked slightly alarmed by how defensive he got and how quickly. She'd seen his explosive temper before but she'd never been at the brunt of it. But Daryl didn't back down, even as she showed him her scared eyes. The damn girl had no right prying. He'd played her stupid ass game, given her some stupid ass answers. But then, he swore he saw (Y/N) in the corner, giving him that disapproving look that made him swallow any anger he'd had right up, and he looked to the floor, taking a second to breathe.

"Ya ain't ever been in love?" It was clear Daryl was asking about Jimmy and Zach. His brain wandered to Zach, asking him every day without fail about what he did before the apocalypse; getting bitten on the way out of that store; getting crushed by the helicopter. Having to deliver the news to beth, who didn't even react.

"I loved Jimmy sure, but I wasn't in love with him. Zach neither. Meant a lot to me, both of 'em but, never loved 'em like that. I only married Jimmy because I thought we were the last ones left," Beth explained, and to anyone else, it would have sounded cold. But Daryl understood. This world did weird shit to your brain, and it didn't surprise him that she'd latched to Zach and Jimmy. While he was thinking, Beth watched his expression. She noticed the look of despair that crossed his face quickly, and how it hardened a second after. And finally, after over a year of them being in the group together, she saw his ring, as he brought his arm to rest on his knee so his other hand could twirl it. He hadn't even noticed he'd done it. He bit his lip, deep in thought, before he looked up and saw Beth's expectant eyes.

"Did you have to kill her?" If that didn't get under his skin he didn't know what would. No disapproving look from his not-there wife could stop the rage bubbling in his chest. It boiled up his neck, to his face and he just knew he'd gone slightly red. Almost immediately, he saw regret on Beth's as he stood up.

"I'm going to take a piss," Daryl snarled, picking up one of the empty jars on the table and smashing it as he made his way over to the corner of the room. He heard Beth's breath hitch in a suppressed gasp of surprise.

"You have to be quiet!" Beth hissed, and that only pissed him off more. He knew there were walkers outside, knew he was being stupid, but she'd started prying. Drunk or not, she'd gone too far and he'd had enough.

"Can't hear ya! 'M taking a piss!" He yelled back, to which Beth shot back some response about being quiet, as he unzipped and started doing his business "What, are ya ma chaperone now?"

Daryl zipped himself back up but didn't bother to do his belt up, and it clanked against his button. He knew this would be a good place to drop it since she had gone silent, but she'd taken a dig at him. One way too personal. One that involved <b>his</b> family. One she had no business in. So he whirled around, voice much louder than it should have been.

"Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never-never eaten frozen yoghurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus," He slammed his hand against the cluttered table he stood next to, as the emotions that had built up over the past few days finally poured out. Beth looked scared, but there was anger dwelling behind her eyes too "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."

Daryl had started pacing, and he narrowed in on the blonde, tone sharp and cold. He knew he was lying at that point. True, he'd never relied on anyone for protection. But he'd relied on his girl for so much that he didn't even know where that list started or ended. She just swam in his head, and she could see those disapproving eyes again. Normally they were directed at Merle, but now they were directed to him, real or not, it stung being at the end of her contempt. And that only pushed him over the edge. Beth tried to stop him with a call of his name, but now he'd begun there was little that would stop him.  

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everythin' was fun. Like everything was a big game. Never got to say goodbye to ma wife. Never got to know if she was alive, dead, turned, murdered. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention," Beth didn't flinch when he brought up her failed suicide attempt. But when he mentioned (Y/N), that sad look was there again, and the anger in her eyes faded.

Daryl hadn't meant to say it, but he was so furious, so sad, so frustrated, so mad at the world, that it had slipped out, in a rare moment of vulnerability. He sprung the walls back up as soon as he'd let them down.

A crashing at the door and the growling of walkers made his head snap to the door, so fast he swore it should have snapped. And he couldn't stop. The seething, burning feeling was eating him up.

"Oh, sounds like our friend out there is trying to call his buddies," He tripped over the pans and pots and various other shit on the floor, making way too much noise. If he wasn't so angry, he would be cursing himself out now. He was sure he'd do that later.

"Daryl, just shut up," Beth begged through gritted teeth, but Daryl just turned around and pointing, a sharp smile playing on his lips. If Merle were here, he'd tell him he looked just like their Daddy. And he did, as much as he hated it. If his girl were here, she would be screaming at him. by now. She would have stopped him by now. But they were both gone. Just like everyone else.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now. Come on," Before he'd fully processed what he was doing, Daryl had grabbed Beth's arm, dragging her to the door and kicking it open. "It's gonna be fun."

"We should stay inside! Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!" She protested, screaming out as she tried to fight out of her grip but he wouldn't let her go.

"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass," Daryl whistled and the walker stumbled over, before he put a bolt in its shoulder, pinning it to the tree behind it. "You wanna shoot?"

"Daryl, I don't know how!" She exclaimed, fighting as Daryl pulled her in front of him, holding her in place with one hand as he got ready to shoot with the other.

"Oh, it's easier. Right corner," A bolt landed in the walker's leg and Beth finally broke free, turning around to face the redneck as he stepped away slightly, so he could pull the string back into place.

"C'mon it's fun," He was being fueled by unbridled rage and adrenaline now. A tiny voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Rick told him he'd regret this later but he pushed it away. Instead, he pulled Beth back into the previous position and shot the walker right where it's dead, rotting heart was.

"Kill it!"  Daryl let go again as he stormed ahead to the walker.

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice," Beth had decided that was enough, and with an annoyed huff, she sped ahead of Daryl to plant her knife into the walker's forehead "What the hell you do that for? We was having fun."

"No! You were being a jackass! If someone found your wife-" She growled back, and Daryl's glare burned into her but it didn't deter her, even as he got right into her face.

"Don't. That ain't remotely the same," Daryl shot back, rage burning through every vein, every organ, every muscle. But Beth knew she'd gotten to him, even if it was just a little bit.

"Killin' them ain't supposed to be fun!" She said, her own eyebrows coming into a glare and Daryl stepped even closer.

"What do ya want from me, girl?"

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin'! Like nothin', we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you. It's bullshit!" Beth finally yelled back, frustration making tears build behind her eyes but that only seemed to rile Daryl up more, even if it had been toned down. Didn't give a shit? She really thought he didn't care? He'd damn near died for his people. He'd killed for his people and she thought he didn't give a shit?

"Is that what you think? Huh?" The only thing he could think as he heard himself were the words he'd said to his brother years ago, that was coming back to bite him in the ass. You really are our Daddy's son.

"That's what I know," Her words were instant, and Daryl could tell from her tone that they'd been building up for a while. But his mouth moved before his brain could fully process the thought.

"You don't know nothin'," He hissed, looking away for a second, as his voice wavered slightly.

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid," Hell, if that didn't make him stop. His chest heaved as she spoke, his body taking a moment to recover from the anger that had made him shake. Been a while since he'd been that pissed off. But those final words, made his eyes narrow again, just as they'd softened.

"I ain't afraid of nothin'," Daryl stated, leaning in again. Beth had a look in her eye, telling him she didn't believe him. And she was right. He was scared every damn day. Every single damn time he thinks he's the most scared he'll ever be, some new herd, some new asshole, some new loss takes its place.

"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me," Daryl couldn't meet her eyes. He had been like her once. When he left for a hunting trip he never came back from. Then, he got stuck with his piece of shit older brother and became that asshole again. Then his brother was gone, and he had a new family. He wasn't who he had been with (Y/N), didn't know if he ever would be like that again, but it had been a start. Until the governor took that from him too "And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."

Every time someone got close, they died. Or put at great risk, or went missing, or got bit.

"Too close, huh? Ya know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends, ya can't even shed a tear. Yer whole family's gone, all ya can do is just go out lookin' for hooch like some dumb college bitch," It was a low blow, but he was so drunk, so angry, he was struggling to get his words out like they were getting stuck in his throat.

"And your wife is gone and you don't say shit! Your brother died and you closed off! At least I talk about the ones I've lost instead of pretendin' like nothin' happened or like they didn't exist!" She snapped back, and the second the words left her mouth, she looked like she wanted to take them right back. Daryl stopped right there, frozen like a deer in headlights before turning around. Beth tried to reach for him but he shrugged out of her touch.

"Y'ain't got the right," He huffed out, the last of his anger dissipating, and he felt that void opening up again. The one that haunted him anytime he thought about his wife for too long. His shoulders deflated, and his gaze fixed on the back of the shed they'd found. Beth was hovering behind him, he could feel it. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me."

"Daryl-" Beth tried again, sympathy lacing her voice but he just shook her off once more. She watched as his shoulders tensed, and she prepared for him to rip into her again but instead, they started shaking lightly. Everything was crashing down on him all at once and he couldn't shake the thought of his girl alone, trying to survive on her own. Or his girl, eyes milky white and lifeless, feet dragging and body acting like dead weight as her pale, rotting skin peeled off.

"And ma girl? Maybe I could've done somethin'. Maybe I could've helped her," His voice cracked, the emotions finally crashing over him in a wave, and this time he didn't stop Beth as she wrapped her arms around his middle, head pressed against his back. He didn't stop the tears or the sobs that escaped him.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking," Beth's voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between them. Crickets and the wind brustling the trees were the only sounds as Daryl looked over to her, sat on the porch in the pale moonlight.

"Ya feel sick?" He asked, twirling his knife on the wooden panels beside him, glancing over dark eyelashes.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad," She responded. Her hands were playing with the loose threads on her jeans, and she had this happy look in her eye. Too happy, but he didn't say anything. Not this time.

"Yer lucky yer a happy drunk," Daryl felt that stab of guilt again, as he thought back to the argument earlier. The one he could've dropped, but instead he blew it out of proportion and turned into Merle. Into his daddy.

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink," Beth gave him a pointed look, eyebrows raised slightly, but there was a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, 'm a dick when 'm drunk," He stabbed his knife into the wood and he let out a small huff before reluctantly opening his mouth again "Merle had these biker friends. Real buff, stern assholes. Didn't give a shit 'bout nobody but themselves. One day, he dragged me along with 'em to this back alley bar. Real dodgy place. Was barely 10 and we were all wasted. Merle was high. There was this girl with her friend and the guys wouldn't stop runnin' their mouths. Especially Merle. Never knew when to quit. Turns out, girl had heard everythin' they'd been sayin' 'bout her and her friend. She comes stormin' over, face red, lookin' pissed as all hell and starts gettin' in this guys face. Merle decides it's a good idea to grab her ass, and she goes for him, punches him right in the eye. Gave him one hell of a shiner."

Beth let out a small giggle as she took a sip of her moonshine and Daryl's lips quirked up slightly. His fingers worked to spin his ring around again and again and she watched it with a glimmer of shock that still hadn't faded away.

"I tried gettin' between and she shoved me away. But one of Merle's buddies, he don't like that. So, he pulls out his gun and raises it over ma shoulder to her face, right here," He points to the gap between his eyebrows, watching as Beth's own eyebrows rose "And this bar goes dead silent. C'aint hear a damn thang, but she just glares back. His buddy starts threatenin' her, sayin' how he's gonna do all these things to her and she don't say anythin'. Just looks back at him. All that because she stood up for herself," Daryl couldn't help but smile at the memory, despite how much it had freaked him out at the time. Only time he didn't get pissed at someone for hitting his brother. Fool deserve it.

"How'd she get out?" Beth asked, leaning forward slightly like she was on the edge of her seat.

"Managed to get between 'em. Guy punched me in the gut. I puked. They all started laughin' and started patting her on the back. 'Balls of steel', Merle said to her. She thanked me for gettin' between them and asked how I was. Walked her and her friend back to her car. And I don't know if she was tipsy or what, but she asked ma name. Asked if we could have a new introduction 'nother day or somethin. You want to know what I was before all this? I was just drifting around with Merle... doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother. Got better when I met her. (Y/N) made us better," Daryl's eyes flittered down to his ring this time, looking at the grime and dirt that accumulated and pulled it off to wipe it on his shirt.

"You miss him, don't you? I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoyin' and overprotective. And my dad. I thought- I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. That's how unbelievably stupid I am," Tears had formed in Beth's eyes, but she laughed through them. But she couldn't shake that image of her Dad, the governor stood behind him.

"That's how it was supposed to be," He grumbled. Beth was naive, but she wasn't blind. She could tell he wasn't talking just about her dad. He was talking about the life he had with his wife, a life he could have had. The life he deserved to have. Subconsciously, she couldn't help but be slightly jealous that she never had something like that.

"I wish I could just... change," Beth responded after a pause, and Daryl's eyebrow raised, slightly confused.

"Ya did."

"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now. Sounds like ya girl was too."

He didn't say anything, biting his cheek lightly as he slid his ring back on. It was his comfort, she was his comfort. Maybe she was still out there. Maybe.

Maybe she was dead in a ditch. </i>

It still felt like a dream. He was still sure that if he gave himself a hard pinch she'd disappear right from his grasp. Everyone had dispersed thanks to Aaron and Carol's shepherding, but Daryl didn't miss the way (Y/N) watched after Carl and Judith, like she was scared something would happen. She didn't let go of him, not for another few minutes, that felt like seconds to him, and he would never complain. It didn't feel real.

There would be questions later, enough to bombard them back into hiding. He didn't care. Nothing mattered. She was here.

Eventually, Daryl managed to clear his head enough to pull her into the house his family had now evacuated out of. It felt alien, holding her again. Seeing her. Actually seeing her, not imagining her in some drunk or fear-induced frenzy. They were huddled together, in the corner Daryl had taken the night before. He couldn't let go, not now. There was something different about her. She'd changed. The apocalypse did that to you, he supposed but, this was different. There was guilt like she was hiding something from him. She'd done something, and he wanted to find out what it was.

"How the hell'd ya get here?" He asked, voice low and a grin rose on her face, which made his eyebrows furrow in confusion "What?"

"Ain't nothing. Just didn't think I'd hear your voice again," (Y/N) responded, her grin widening when he took her hand and started playing with her ring. "I was with mom when it started. Started travelling down to Georgia to find you and Merle. Met some people along the way."

She suddenly went quiet, her smile falling, and Daryl knew that look. Seen it on everyone's faces after camp; saw it on Carol, Beth, Maggie and Hershel's faces after the barn, Glenn and Maggie after the governor, Beth's after the prison; Rick, Carl and Michonne's the night with the claimers; everyone's after Terminus; Sasha and Gabriel after Bob and Tyreese. His, Maggie's and Glenn's after Beth.

"What happened?" If anyone else had walked in, they'd probably have never believed it was his voice. He didn't believe it. Merle would be giving him hell for it. Her eyes darted to his, and her grip on his hand tightened.

"There were this married couple, Andrew and Oliver, and their kid, Anna. Real sweet, curious. Never wanted to leave me and the other leader Kai alone. Some twins, Danica and Ben. Danica and Andrew were hotheads, reminded me of Merle, just less bigotted," They shared a chuckle at that. Daryl didn't need to say anything to her for her to know her brother-in-law was gone. She'd seen it on his face when she mentioned him earlier. After all this time, she could still read him like a book. "Kai was my best friend. Felt like a sibling. They were military, stopped me and mom from going into the city. We were gonna keep looking for you but Anna got sick. Really sick. For three weeks, we went out looking for medicine and she'd go through it in days."

Hell, he'd almost forgot about the disease that spread through the prison. Nearly killed Glenn. Awful as it seemed, it didn't that important anymore. Pretty much everyone that was sick died to the governor anyway. Didn't matter. Not really

"When she didn't get better, her dad's asked me to put her down. I was going to do it in the evening, in case she passed, but I decided to wait until morning. Died in her sleep. Turned quickly. We lost Andrew and Danica," Daryl squeezed her hand but she didn't respond. Her eyes were unfocused, but he saw the sadness flickering in them. The shame and guilt. That's why she was watching Carl and Judith earlier. "We were in the woods for a while. Me, mom, Andrew, Kai and Ben, lived that old Dixon lifestyle," She teased, in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. But he saw past it. She was holding something back to stop him from worrying.

"Then what?" She just shook her head, and Daryl pulled her in, tucking her head under his chin again. Not yet. He'd wait as long as she needed. They didn't need words for him to understand. (Y/N) let out a small sigh of contentment and Daryl resisted a smile. He'd lost hope in finding her. Thought he'd never get to hold her like this again. And before he knew it, he was telling her everything. But when he got to Terminus, she froze and pulled back.

"You were at Terminus?" (Y/N)'s voice was laced with concern and confusion, and it took Daryl half a second to connect the dots. His eyebrows rose into his hairline, which made (Y/N) laugh slightly."I was there for three days. Fuckers tried to kill me but I put up a fight. That freak Gareth locked me in a room so I didn't 'scare the newcomers'. An explosion and some walker's guts got me out."

"Ya gotta be shittin' me, right?" Daryl laughed, genuinely laughed, and he swore he'd never seen so much elation on his girl's face. "Carol set off that explosion, got us out."

(Y/N) leant her forehead on his shoulder, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. The whole time, he thought she was so far away, or that she was gone, or dead, or bitten but she was right fucking there at Terminus. If he'd paid more attention, maybe he could've found her. Fucking idiot.  

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Daryl asked, catching (Y/N)'s arm as she started to climb out of the sleeping bag they'd been sharing. It'd taken a while for Daryl to convince the group to let her stay with them. They didn't trust her, and he couldn't blame them, but he wasn't going to be separated from <i>any</i> of his family. Neither her nor them. Eventually, Rick had nodded, despite Sasha and Abraham (mostly - Rosita and Carl hadn't exactly been happy about it either).

"Aiden and Nicholas want to take Glenn, Tara and Noah on a dry run, I gotta go with them to make sure they don't do something dumb," (Y/N) replied, pulling on her jumper but Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Careful, (L/N), that's ma family yer talkin' 'bout," He shot back, sharper than he wanted. However, she was taking a dig at his family when she barely knew shit about them. She just chuckled and rolled her eyes, coming closer to press a kiss on his forehead.

"Not your family, dummy. Nicolas and Aiden. They both hate me because I called them careless. Among other things. And they are. They don't know anything about life out there. If these walls hadn't come up when they had, those boys would have died long ago. Almost everyone here would have," She replied. He watched her carefully, giving her a look that she couldn't recognise. He was still getting used to this new version of her. Trying to get to know her again.  She wasn't that different, not really, but she was slightly colder towards others and seemed to have a shorter fuse where unbreakable patience used to be. Well, unbreakable unless you were Merle. Some undying rage never left her eyes.  She was still her old self, but she'd changed. It made him wonder what she'd been through. What she wouldn't tell him the day before.

"Why'd ya stay if this place ain't secure?" Daryl asked, pulling her slightly closer. Then he saw it. That look flashed across her face. It was gone almost as soon as it came, but he'd caught it. Guilt was ripping through her, despite how much she hid it. Why was she guilty? What was she hiding?

"Why'd you?" (Y/N) responded quickly, and even with this new version of her, he still knew her well enough to know she was changing the topic. And she did too, as evident from her heavy sigh. "I had a promise to keep."

There was more to it than that, Daryl could see it so clearly it was practically slapping him in the face. But he knew pushing wouldn't get them anywhere.

"People here are weak. Carol and the kid think it too. Hell, I do.  Glad yer goin' with 'em," He gave her a quick kiss, running his thumb over her ring. "Keep an eye on 'em for me."

"Of course," (Y/N) smiled back, and from the surprise on Deanna's face when she walked in to check on them, not that he'd cared enough to notice at first, it wasn't something that had happened often while she was here.

"And you keep yourself safe, ya hear?" Daryl demanded, and while it was firm, (Y/N) saw the glimmer of fear in his eye. Can't lose her again. The words went unspoken but she heard them. A hard squeeze of his hand and a kiss on the cheek, and she'd wandered out the door, Glenn, Tara and Noah trailing close behind.

Time seemed to drag out while they were gone. It'd been around an hour, and he knew it shouldn't be too much longer before they returned. It was only a dry run. He'd finally showered, if only for his girl's sake than anyone else's, and he couldn't stop pacing. Carol had tried to employ his help, but he shut her down. With no news on a job from Deanna, Daryl couldn't stop himself from getting lost in his thoughts and drowning in his worries. His girl had said that the boys were careless. What if that cost her? What if him asking her to protect his friend meant she did something stupid? What if she didn't come back? What if he lost her again? For good, this time?

His worries were cut in half when the creaking and scratching of the gate broke through the air and he immediately jogged from his place on the porch to the gates, seeing the group come back in. They all looked pissed, and none of them more than (Y/N). She was walking in front of Glenn almost protectively, and he just knew something had gone wrong.

"You three need new gigs, you're not ready for runs yet," Aiden snapped from behind, making the four turn on their heels. Daryl felt himself moving forward when Aiden got close to (Y/N) and started pointing "And I'm gonna talk to my mom about getting you a new job."

"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards," Glenn shot back and (Y/N) gave him a grateful look. They set off again but were pulled back by Aiden grabbing both her and Glenn's arms.

"Hey, we've got a way of doing things around here," Aiden tried, making a poor attempt of establishing his authority, which deflated when she scoffed.

"Yeah, ones you don't tell me about apparently," She grumbled. There it was. That short fuse. That undying rage. Daryl slowed to a stop as more people started to gather at the noise. She looked over to him, telling him with a glance that he might have to step in if it got too far.

"You tied up walkers," Glenn shot back, and that set Aiden off. Nicolas bounced between each foot awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"It killed our friend!"Aiden shouted "Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."

"Not when they put our people in danger," (Y/N) stepped closer, almost chest to chest with Aiden, and Daryl smirked slightly. That was his girl.

"If that's the case, we're just as screwed as your last run crew," Glenn agreed, putting a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to get her to back off. They shared a look, and she reluctantly took a step back. Glenn was trying to keep it peaceful, but he wasn't Aiden get away with this shit. Neither was (Y/N), except Daryl wasn't so sure about the peaceful part. Aiden shifted at Glenn's words, and Nicolas narrowed his eyes. Daryl took a step closer, shooting the latter man a warning glare.

"Say that again," Aiden stated, lightly shoving Glenn's chest. He brushed off the warning words of Noah and Tara, and both Glenn and Daryl could see that (Y/N) was barely holding her rage back. Glenn squeezed her shoulder lightly, clearly seeing it too. She was waiting for the right moment, but she was going to break any second. "C'mon tough guy."

Glenn just stared back at him, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly, and the expression pissed Aiden off even more. (Y/N) had to bite back a laugh. "No one's impressed, man. Walk away."

Someone had clearly alerted Deanna to the situation because she came running out, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes slightly at the woman. It was pretty damn clear she didn't like her. However, her expression softened slightly, and some of her anger dissipated when she saw Enid join the newly formed crowd, with Carl not far behind her.

"Aiden, what's going on?" Deanna asked, running over. Daryl saw Rick slowly making his way over with Michonne, and they were both observing too. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut and it felt stifling.

"These two have got a problem with the way we do things. Why did you let these people in? Why didn't you kick her out?" Daryl's eyes furrowed, and his glare settled. This asshole was really trying to get them thrown out? After the shit he'd just heard?

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there," Glenn immediately answered and he barely had time to dodge as Aiden swung for him, while Deanna shouted his name. However, (Y/N) immediately shot into action. The fury she'd been suppressing exploded out all at once, and she didn't hesitate to land a punch ride to Aiden's nose. She'd hit him with enough force to cause his nose to bleed, and Daryl felt a twisted sense of pride in his stomach.

"(Y/N)!" Enid yelled, and (Y/N) looked over to her in panic, scared someone had lunged for her. But while she was distracted, Nicolas had managed to get a hit in on her side, making her fall backwards slightly. Her eyes darkened and she went to attack him, but two arms latched around her waist and yanked her away from the fight. At some point, Aaron had come running towards the commotion and had snuck up behind her. He was trying to talk to her, to calm her down but she only saw red.

However, while the people had been distracted with (Y/N), apparently well-acquainted with her outbursts, no one had thought to stop Daryl. The second, Aiden lunged for Glenn, he was running at them, anger boiling inside of him, but then Nicolas dared to lay a hand on his girl and he felt like that day in the woods with Beth. When he couldn't stop his anger. It just flowed through him, and soon Nicolas had been pinned to the floor with Daryl's arm to his neck. Rick sprinted to them, shouting at him, but Daryl had tuned him out, eyes focusing on the son of a bitch below him. He felt arms yanking him away and he growled something (he couldn't even remember what he was so damn pissed) to, who he assumed was, Rick. Aiden stood up and went to walk towards (Y/N), which made her struggle slightly in Aaron's hold, until Michonne stepped in front, pushing him back.

"Back the fuck up, asshole," (Y/n) shouted, pulling in Aaron's arms, and Michonne narrowed her eyes at Aiden.

"You want to end up on your ass again?"She warned, staring him down until he backed up. After another minute, Rick finally made Daryl let up and Rick pushed him away slightly just for good measure. He was practically vibrating with anger, but he backed away, picking up his crossbow before walking to his girl. Aaron let her go hesitantly, and Daryl wrapped an arm around her waist, both to ground himself and to prevent her from going anywhere. He could feel the heat radiating over, and how pissed off she still was as she and Aiden glared at each other. Deanna stared at her for a minute, a look filled with scorn that nearly set Daryl off again. Aiden had taken the shot first, she couldn't blame his girl for shit.

"I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now and always as equals. Understood?"She shot a pointed look to her son, who looked away in shame as he wiped his nose, getting blood on the back of his hand. Daryl hid a smirk, despite the anger still stirring in his stomach. "Everyone turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me."

Deanna pulled Rick and Michonne to one side, and the pair watched for a second, as Glenn walked off with Maggie. Then, Daryl turned his girl to look at him, inspecting every inch of her to make sure she wasn't badly injured.

"Y'alrigh'?" Daryl questioned softly, placing one hand on her cheeks, which she leant into affectionately. It made his stomach do flips, and he was sure he was blushing but if he was, she didn't say anything. Made him feel like a damn teenager again. She placed her hand over his, touching his ring with a small reassuring smile.

"I'm all good, Dixon. Might have a bruise on my ribs, but I'll live," She replied and Daryl turned to look at Nicolas with a dark look. They were so caught up in themselves that they didn't notice Aaron watching them with a curious look. He was smiling softly. He hadn't been able to get much out of his friend when talking about her husband. She'd let a little slip when she, him and Eric got drunk during her first week, but she'd never told them his name, or anything deep. If she had, maybe he would've been able to reunite them sooner.

Everyone dispersed, with Aiden and Nicolas following Deanna back to her house. (Y/N) watched after them, glaring holes into the back of their heads.

"(Y/N, I know you're pissed off, but you have to quit the fighting. Deanna's going to kick you out if you aren't careful," Aaron warned, folding his arms over his chest, and Daryl's head snapped over furiously. However, (Y/N) turned to him with a face that told him she'd heard this a million times before.

"Fucker went for Glenn first. She just defended him," Daryl murmured and Aaron let out a deep sigh. Guess it wasn't just (Y/N) he had to watch out for now.

The next day, Daryl and (Y/N) had been moved into their own house, and while she was hesitant to leave Eric and Aaron, neither she nor Daryl could deny how nice it was to have their own privacy. It almost felt like life before the apocalypse. Well, besides the fact that this house was worth more than they ever could have afforded before the world went to shit. And they were missing a certain loud-mouthed idiot. Enid also technically lived there, but she was always in and out. One thing both he and his girl knew, was that he was suffocating in here. He hated not being out there. So when she suggested he go hunting, he was out of the door quicker than she could blink. He felt guilty leaving her behind, but she could manage her own, and she had her own jobs to do. Besides, Enid could keep her company. She'd be fine.

The bushes rustling made his crossbow shoot up. Daryl narrowed his eyes, trying to pick out if it was a person, walker or animal, but he quickly realised it was a human and his guard went up tenfold.

"Come out! Now!"He snarled, placing his finger on the trigger as the person began to emerge. Aaron. Son a bitch scared the shit out of him. Not that he'd admit it. He lowered his crossbow with a huff upon seeing the recruiters alarmed face. "Ain't ya supposed to be in Alexandria with Eric?"

"(Y/N)'s watching over him. You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?" Daryl just grunted in response and Aaron studied him, as he checked the string of the crossbow. He wasn't as bad as he made himself out to be. He could see it in the way he acted with (Y/N) alone, and that wasn't even beginning on the rest of his family "Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy? Rick doesn't seem to be an expert at that."

"There ain't much of a difference no more," Daryl snapped back. What was with this guy? Didn't he know when to stop prying? Wasn't none of his business. Aaron didn't miss the way he squinted at him, or how his shoulders squared defensively.

"That how you feel about your people? About (Y/N)?" Aaron questioned. Daryl tensed slightly before continuing forward into the woods.

"Why ya following me?" Daryl snapped. If it had been anyone else, he probably would've been shouting by now. But Aaron was (Y/N)'s friend. He could talk about her like that. He meant no ill will. Others don't get the right. They didn't know her. They just expected the worst because he was some redneck. Expected her to be the same.

She was so much more.

"You ride horses?"Aaron asked, trying to lighten the situation. He'd really hoped he could save that horse. The kids had been asking him for weeks. At least he wasn't suffering anymore.

"I ride bikes," Daryl responded shortly. Aaron was kind, and he could see how his girl was friends with him. Why she trusted him. They'd taken care of her. Seen that pretty clearly yesterday with Aiden and Nicolas and stopping her from killing them. But everything felt too much still. He wasn't used to being somewhere like this. Even before everything. Even with his girl starting to bring him to the right path. Everything was just overwhelming. He knew Aaron was trying to help, to get to know him,  but whether that was out of kindness or to stay on the good side of his girl, he still hadn't figured it out.

"I take it you don't mean 10-speeds," When Daryl didn't say anything, Aaron let out a small sigh. "I know you're feeling like an outsider. (Y/N) does too, even if she tries to deny it. It's not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well-meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women. And you should hear how they talk about (Y/N) sometimes. People are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain. They're scared of you and me for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It's less and less every day. So let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna's party tonight."

By that point, they'd both stopped. Daryl looked back at Aaron with disbelieving eyes. Like hell was he going to some dumb as shit party. People'd stare, whisper, ask questions. They did little else when he was around, normally.

" I got nothing to prove. I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothin'," His eyes flashed back to Terminus. Glenn's terrified eyes. The rage in Rick's eyes. Carl's trembling in the storage container. His girl, who'd been so damn close that if he'd stopped for a second, he would have found her.

"Yeah, they were," Aaron replied, smiling at him slightly before walking past him.

"Yer goin'?" Daryl raised his eyebrows, and (Y/N) turned to smile at him. She didn't look herself. Actually no, she looked exactly like herself. But the old her. This wasn't the new, hardened, mildly terrifying new (Y/N). It felt alien. Almost wrong. But hell if she didn't look good, even if she was dressed up for a dumb ass party.

"I want to get to know your family. Besides, I need to prove a point to Deanna and her shithead sons. You sure you won't come?" She trailed over to him and admired him in the last rays of the sunset. He didn't want her to go. Didn't want her near Aiden, Nicolas or Deanna's other son, who he had the pleasure of not yet meeting. He'd only just gotten her back, and everyone wanted a piece of her. It was starting to piss him off.

Daryl just shook his head, moving some stray pieces of hair out of his eyes at the same time. "Naw. Maybe later."

(Y/N) nodded, before taking his hand, using the other to reach up and play with the ends of his hair. He squeezed her hand, a silent demand of her to stay.

"Never thought I'd see you with long hair, Dixon," She said absentmindedly and he snorted quietly. Sometimes it slipped his mind that the last time she'd seen him, he'd looked almost completely different.

"Watch yourself, (L/N)," He shot back, but there was no venom. Just a tender look in his eyes that was reserved for only her. She let out a quiet laugh and brought their joint hands up to kiss the back of his hand before letting go. Merle was right, the asshole. She did make him soft.

He watched the party from a distance, glancing through the window. Trying to get a look, trying to find the courage to go in. His girl or not, the idea of going in there made his skin crawl. Daryl wasn't a people person, it was pretty damn clear. He wished she'd stayed at home with him, but it did make his heart ache slightly knowing she was only going to try and connect with his family. She didn't get pissy about the fact he called them family, didn't judge, didn't expect them to trust her just because they were married. Just tried to connect with them

He let out a heavy sigh, cursing under his breath and turned around, beginning to head back home. Hell, he'd started calling it home now. Maybe it was being with her again, made him feel at home. Maybe he was getting used to this place. Not damn likely. As he was walking past Aaron and Eric's house, (Y/N)'s old home, the light on the porch switched on, and Aaron walked outside

"Daryl. Hey," Aaron greeted, and Daryl resisted a sigh. Sure, he was nice but it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was about him trying to get to know him for (Y/N). But thinking about it, that was exactly what his girl was doing with his family. Goddamn it.

"Thought you were going to that party over there," Daryl responded, leaning against the fence.

"Oh, I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle, thank God," Aaron smiled, looking relieved and Daryl furrowed his eyebrows

"Why the hell did you tell me to go, then?"He snapped, feeling a little guilty by the outburst until he saw the amused (but oddly proud?) look the other man was giving him.

"I said try. You did. It's a thought that counts thing," How long had this guy spent with (Y/N)? Starting to sound just like her.

"All right," Daryl mumbled, pushing off from the fence to walk away until Aaron's voice stopped him again.

"Hey, come in. Have some dinner. Come on, man. It's some pretty serious spaghetti," Aaron offered. Daryl turned to face him, sure he'd see a teasing look on his face. Expecting it to be a joke. But there was a hopeful look on Aaron's face along with a small grin. Yeah, he was starting to see why (Y/N) liked him so much. He hesitated, biting his lip nervously for a second, before walking back to the house. Aaron's grin widened, but Daryl pretended like he hadn't seen anything.

Apart from a greeting from Eric, the three men mostly sat in silence, digging into the spaghetti. Daryl knew he should probably be more aware of how he was eating, he was slurping and he probably looked like a pig (if (Y/N) was there she'd be giving him hell for it), but he'd stopped caring. And while Aaron and Eric shared an occasional muffled laugh, they didn't seem too bothered. Daryl couldn't help but notice the empty two settings on the remaining chairs, and apparently, Eric had followed his gaze.

"We're still getting used to (Y/N) being gone. Enid too. She didn't live with us, but she stayed here a lot because of (Y/N). Guess we still haven't gotten out of the habit of setting their seats," Eric joked lightly, and Daryl made a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something," Eric seemed oblivious to the pointed looks Aaron was giving him, and the confused one that Daryl seemed to have etched onto his face. Eric was more bubbly than Aaron, more talkative, but still sweet. He didn't expect responses from Daryl, happy to just talk away. Maybe (Y/N)'s friends weren't too bad " I really think she just wants something to talk about, so... if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to..."

Finally, Eric looked over to his husband, seeing him shaking his head and his words died on his tongue. Looking awkwardly between Daryl and Aaron before settling on his pasta, a small apologetic smile on his face

"I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?" As if she'd heard Eric's silent plea to be rescued from the mild embarrassment of the situation, the sound of the door opening made Aaron and Daryl shoot up until they heard (Y/N)'s voice following.

"Aaron? Eric? You home?" She called, sounding tired, and Aaron let out a relieved sigh, before calling her into their dining room. Daryl couldn't help but smile as she walked in. It still felt like she wasn't real. Like she'd disappear any day and he'd wake up in that barn, or on the road, starving and dehydrated. She grinned back at him, but she didn't miss the teasing wink Eric gave her. "Hey, Dixon. What're you doing here?"

"We invited him for the infamous killer spaghetti," Eric grinned at her, nudging her hip with his shoulder as she walked to stand between his seat and Daryl. Instinctively, Daryl took her hand, and she bit back a child-like grin. Aaron gave her a look, one he couldn't recognise but she clearly did as she glared back at him playfully.

"You told him yet?" She asked, turning slightly to look at Aaron properly, nodding her head towards Daryl slightly. Daryl's confusion only furthered. Why did everyone seem to know what was going on except him? Hell, he was willing to bet if Enid was here too then she'd probably know.

"Was just about to, but <i>someone</i> nearly let the cat out of the bag," Eric looked away guiltily, but it was obvious he was forcing back a chuckle.

"Tell me what?" Daryl finally spoke up, and he didn't miss the way her hand tightened around his. Her grin turned slightly mischievous as Aaron started leading them towards their garage. Aaron opened the door and (Y/N) squeezed Daryl's hand again (and if she saw his cheeks starting to go pink, she didn't say anything) while her friend flicked the light on.

The garage was stuffed with spare parts and something that looked suspiciously like a motorbike beneath a piece of huge sheet. (Y/N) let go of his hand, opting instead to lean in the doorway, smiling softly at the excitement that flickered in her husband's eyes, even if his face stayed stoic. It'd been so damn long since he'd seen something like this, and while it reminded him a little too much of Merle's biker buddies, this also felt like home. He felt like a kid in a candy store. Aaron and (Y/N) shared a knowing look behind Daryl's back

"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them," Aaron explained, as Daryl started picking up pieces, admiring them and putting them down again.

"It's a lot of parts for one bike," Daryl stated, trying to hide how happy he was, and he could practically hear (Y/N) rolling her eyes

"Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. (Y/N) tried to figure it out, but it wasn't her area of expertise," There was a teasing tone in his voice at the last sentence and Daryl heard his girl mumble something along the lines of 'shut up. "I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is, you're going to need a bike."

"Why?"Daryl pulled back the sheet and saw the skeleton of a bike, with a box of tools next to it.

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you. I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore," Aaron replied. Daryl understood that, probably better than most people in this community. (Y/N) let out a hum of agreement, and Daryl looked over as she turned to glance back into the house. She was protective of her loved ones. Always had been, and he was really starting to realise just how much Aaron and Eric meant to her.

"You want me risking mine, right?"Daryl questioned, sounding sharper than he wanted, but Aaron could tell he meant no harm by it.

"Yeah, because you know what you're doing. You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person, "Hell, he really had spent too much time with his girl. Daryl bit his lip in thought, but he already knew his mind was made up. Being in here all the time was killing him. Even with his girl here, he knew he couldn't stay here for long without getting antsy.

"I got nothing else to do. Thanks. I'll get you some rabbits," Aaron let out a loud laugh at that, patting Daryl's shoulder as he stepped past him, back to his girl in the doorway. She was smiling, asking him silently how he was feeling. He just gave her a tiny smile, and clearly, that was enough for her, as she wrapped her arm around his side.

Daryl couldn't help but notice how close (Y/N) had suddenly gotten with Glenn, Rick, Tara and Maggie. He noticed the way the rest of his family seemed a little more at ease with her, not exactly trusting her yet, but clearly getting on that track. Carl still wasn't sure about her, but Daryl didn't miss how he'd come and actually started conversations with her a few times, instead of avoiding her completely. Part of him was suspicious that it had something to do with his obvious crush on Enid. And while it made his heart warm that she was starting to become integrated with his family, there was always someone whisking her away now. He just wanted to spend some damn time with his wife, but he had to go out with Aaron, and she was going on another run.

And every damn thing that could have gone wrong absolutely did. It'd been a god damn trap, and now he was trapped in a car, surrounded by fuck knows how many walkers with his wife best friend. And the walkers just kept coming, pouring out of the trucks, banging on the window. How fucking long until that glass shattered and they were made into walker meat? But despite the hell going on around him, he couldn't stop a chuckle escaping his lips. It was fucking ironic. Aaron gave him a bewildered look.

"I came out here to not feel all closed up back there. Even now, this feels more like me than back in them houses. That's pretty messed up, huh?" Daryl explained, looking over at Aaron, who still had that look, but had a small, almost sad, smile on his lips.

"You were trying," Aaron said, and Daryl shook his head lightly. Wasn't exactly a choice. There were the kids, his friends, his family. Then (Y/N) got added into the mix, and that was it.

"I had to," He shot back, eyes watching the walkers that were gnashing their teeth outside the window.

"No, you didn't. Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road. Then you went off on your own to the barn. Storm hit and you lead your people to safety. That was it. I knew I had to bring you people back," Aaron had this gentle look, and he went quiet, thinking for a second. When he spoke again his voice was thick "You were right. We should have kept looking for that guy in the poncho. I shouldn't have given up. You didn't."

Daryl went silent, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He'd given up. On his girl. Given up on her, lost hope started thinking she was dead. And look at what happened.

"I didn't, because I gave up before," It didn't take a genius to figure out what, or rather who he was talking about "Hadn't seen her in two years. Thought she was dead. Found 'er. Ain't givin' up this time. I'll go. I'll lead 'em out. You make a break for the fence."

God, she was going to kill him for this.

Aaron's head snapped over, the beginning of tears in his eyes quickly disappearing as he processed Daryl's words. "No, no, no. This was my fault."

"Wasn't a question. And this ain't yer decision. It ain't nobody's fault. Just let me finish my smoke first. Promise you'll look after ma girl, 'right?" Daryl brought the cigarette back to his lips, taking a draw. He ignored Aaron' stare, his leg bouncing lightly. This'd destroy her. But, she had people to look after. And people would look after her for him. His family would be there, Aaron, Eric, Enid. She'd forget about him after a while.

"No," Aaron said sternly, and Daryl was almost taken back by the tone. Never heard him talk like that. "You don't draw them away. We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together, alright? Whether we make it or not. We do it together. We have to."

Daryl fell back into that silence, biting his lip in thought. (Y/N) would probably never forgive him if he let Aaron die. But she'd never forgive Aaron if he did. Fuck. Shit.

"Alright. You ready?" Daryl took one last drag before extinguishing the cigarette and picking up his knife instead. Hell, he couldn't believe he was agreeing to this. Sorry (L/N) "We'll go on three. One, two-"

But three never came as one of the walkers outside's guts spilt on Aaron's window, making them both freeze and exchange a puzzled look. There was no gunshot. The dead didn't kill their own. His door was suddenly yanked open, making Aaron scuttle back and lean on Daryl slightly, before he saw a guy standing there, holding a badass staff. He climbed out, followed immediately by Daryl. Everything was a blur of guts, blood and aching muscles until they got back to the gate and closed it. He was pretty sure he was just running on adrenaline at this point

"Hey, Daryl?" Aaron said breathlessly and Daryl looked over to see him smiling "Take care of her your damn self."

They got back just in time to see all hell had broken loose. The sound of shouting and screaming greeted them as Spencer let them through the gate, and Aaron had gone sprinting ahead, followed soon by Daryl and Morgan. Daryl's heart was pounding, worried (Y/N) was in the middle of it. Shit, shit, shit, shit. (Y/N) and Abraham were holding Pete down as he squirmed and glared up at them. And there on the floor, Deanna was crying, begging while she pressed against the slice on Reg's neck. Alexandrian's watched in terror, and horror as he choked on his own blood, and Daryl didn't miss the look in (Y/N)'s eyes, beneath all the fear and rage. A look he knew too well. She was reliving something. He only wished he knew what. It was then Daryl noticed Michonne's bloody katana on the floor, where Michonne herself looked at it with disgust. Rick was stood beside Abraham and (Y/N), watching Deanna with pity, but waiting for her instruction as Reg ultimately stopped moving. The air was silent, still, and he could see Aaron bouncing slightly from foot to foot, desperate to check up on his husband as Morgan watched with disdain.

One bullet, and it was done, blood splattered on (Y/N) and Abraham's faces. But she didn't even flinch. Just stared blankly. When they got back to their house, Enid, who'd allegedly been told to stay in the house but snuck out (in Enid like fashion) was wrapped under (Y/N)'s arm. She looked scared still, and Daryl had tried to comfort her, even if it hadn't been much, until (Y/N) had been relieved from the situation and took over. She was like a mini carbon copy of his girl, with the addition of teen angst, but she was easy to talk to (even when she was traumatised). His girl still had that blank look, had it since Rick pulled that trigger, and somehow that scared him more. She ushered Enid to her room, and Daryl knew she would either leave within a few minutes, or she wouldn't move until morning. But Enid didn't protest, just gave (Y/N) a quick hug and rushed upstairs.

His girl was still silent, as they reached their room, as they started changing into their pyjamas, as she went off to brush her teeth and wash the blood off her face, as they climbed into bed. It wasn't until Daryl reached out to touch her and she flinched back, did he attempt to break the silence.

"(Y/N)," He mumbled, and she raised her eyebrows to show she was listening but didn't meet his eyes. His stomach was in a knot, worry, nerves and interest as he watched her. "Hey, look at me."

It took her a minute, but reluctantly, she dragged her eyes up to meet his and he saw it. Guilt, anxiety and trauma all wrapped in one.

"Talk to me," Was all he said, and that was all it took. It was spilling out of her before she could stop it, and her hand found him desperately.

"After Anna, Ben, Andrew, Kai, Mom and I were chased out. Moved camp every day. Didn't know where we were going, just kept moving. One night, we were distracted. Ben was talking about smoke or something, and Kai started sayin' how we should go towards Washington. Said it was one of the few places that might have civilisation. We let out guard down," (Y/N) hesitated again, and Daryl squeezed her hand tightly, prompting her to continue. Every word she spoke, the sadder her eyes grew. The guilt kept building and building, and Daryl felt his own pit of dread in his stomach. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. "Some assholes come out of the woods, demand our supplies. I said no and they... they shot Kai. Then Ben and Andrew. Started going through our stuff, held me back as they murdered my family. Then they grabbed mom and-"

Daryl didn't hesitate in pulling her in when her voice hitched and she stopped again. He held her so tight, he was almost certain it was hurting, but she didn't voice any complaints. She just curled into him before continuing.

"Those bastards slit her throat. I had to put her down when she turned. Left me in the middle of the woods. When Reg... I just saw mom. It was like I was back there, reliving again and again on repeat. And I can't help but think that if I'd stepped forward, maybe Reg would be alive," She whispered, fingers clutching onto the sleep shirt he wore. He shook his head, placing a kiss on her hair.

"And you'd be dead. Ain't yer fault. None of it. Not yer ma and yer family. Not Reg. Weren't nothin' you coulda done. Ya cain't blame yerself for it," Daryl said, and while his tone was gentle, the words were firm but they seemed to do nothing to ease her, she just held on tighter. "I know that ain't everythin'. What happened?"

"We lost Noah. He was right there. We had him, and then he was just gone. Glenn and I, we held onto him so hard, but the walkers they- they got him. Pushed him against the glass. We had to watch-" It was then Daryl felt her pull back and she adjusted so her arms were wrapped around him, tucked under his chin again when he pulled her close.

"I'm sorry," He didn't know what else to say. Noah was gone. That kid was something else, annoying sometimes, sure, but he brought this hopeful light to the group, even when they were damn near dying on the road. He found his brain starting to ache and a weird feeling in his chest. Daryl was well acquainted with loss, everyone was now, but it never got any easier. Not when the losses kept coming, and to the people who deserved them the least. He couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been to watch. What it was like for her. He didn't want to. The thought alone was enough to give him nightmares. So he just held her tightly, even as he felt a wet patch seeping through his sleep shirt. Even as she shook. Even as she drifted off, exhausted and hurting, and he laid awake for hours after. He couldn't make it okay, even if he wanted to. And hell he really did. He couldn't bring Noah back, couldn't wipe the memory from her or Glenn's mind.

The only thing he could do was be there for her, comfort her, help her out of that place whenever she went there.  However, the only thing he could do, right at that moment, was hold her and not let go.

TAGS: OPEN

Tags (for this series): @graniairish @fuseburner @gloomystorm @bxxbxy @browneyes528 @hoemadegrace @reichelhache​

[pricklerick]

magnum opus

Quick disclaimer: I don’t usually post warnings on my blog, but I’m going to now - this is a ficlet/summary of a huge Rick and Morty story that I’m completely unqualified to write. DEAD DOVE; DO NOT EAT. Guys, this is dark. Trigger warnings for incest, underage sex, pregnancy loss, postpartum depression, attempted suicide.

I’ll preface by saying that this is a story that’s been bouncing around in my brain for a while now. But I don’t feel that I have the maturity or life experience to tackle the subject matter and do it any justice at all. These are heavy topics that have affected many people, and the last thing I’d ever want to do is exploit them, minimize them, or misrepresent them.

So, if you choose to continue, know that you are responsible for the media that you consume, and know that the things I write (or the perspective of the characters that I write) do not necessarily reflect my personal opinions.  

Okay, that being said, have an angsty fic summary!

Morticia (known as Tish) and her Rick have been fucking for years. Tish knows that to Rick, she’s an easy lay - an accessible warm body at best. But to Tish, Rick is everything.

She’s seventeen, and Rick gets really antsy about an adventure to a universe where space herpes is airborne. He insists that Tish get a series of ridiculously painful alien vaccinations that leave her shaky and nauseated for a week. Tish puts up with it, because Rick gets what Rick wants, and Rick wants a very specific isotope of Nihonium that can only be found on Space Herpes’ Andromeda galaxy. Once Tish is feeling better, Rick drags her off to spend a single afternoon harvesting rocks. The whole thing goes off without a cinch for once, and Tish totally forgets about it.

But it’s not long before Tish starts feeling off again. She’s exhausted, can’t eat or sleep, and one night when Rick grabs her tits and squeezes just like she needs him to, Tish screams at the sensitivity.

Rick stops cold and just looks at her, that same look that he gives to a gadget that’s not behaving how he wants, and in that moment, something grows cold in Tish’s stomach.

She knows.

She takes test after shitty drugstore test, spends close to $100 at the gas station down the street. On her third trip, the cashier looks at her in undisguised pity, and Tish has to stop herself from punching him in the face.

“Rick, I think I’m pregnant.”

She doesn’t think, she fucking knows. Rick’s face stays carefully blank. He keeps tinkering with the android in front of him, the only sign that he even heard a quick blink and the subtle movement of the muscles of his throat as he swallows hard.

“Rick?” she prompts.

“Jeezus, Tish, I’m old, not deaf. Fucking heard you the first time.”

She huffs, lets her left hip rest against the countertop where he’s working, folds her arms across her chest to hide her shaking hands.

Rick sighs, swiping the goggles up so that they catch in his hair. “Not a problem,” he says evenly, carefully looking in any direction but to her.

Tish blinks. She’d expected… more. An explosion, a few curse words, hell, even some pointed fingers.

Rick is reaching for a drawer, pulls out a syringe that’s filled with a vicious purple fluid. “I mean, really Tish, there’s a whole— a whole multiverse of options out there. And you - you still insist on using fu-fucking horse piss!”

He’s coming at her with the needle. Tish’s body reacts before her brain even comprehends the situation, and she backhands Rick hard enough to send him stumbling. The syringe shatters on the floor, and Tish gasps, her hand stinging from the impact.

Rick is looking at her, both hands supporting his weight on the countertop. His chest is heaving. He spits blood, glaring at her, and Tish’s heart sinks to her toes.

"Fine,” he hisses. “You wanna play Mommy? Wanna tell your mother that you’re pregnant at seventeen? Knock yourself out, baby. I’ll fucking let you. At least nobody will think twice about your retard baby - you’re dumb as rocks, Tish, stupider than dirt.  And when this crashes and burns, like I know it will, when you’re in over your head and you hate yourself and that little mutation of genetic material that’s percolating in your gut like a goddamn tape worm, you remember this.” Rick looms over her, leaning so close that Tish can smell bile on his breath. “You remember that Grandpa Rick fucking told you so.”

And in a swirl of vivid green, he is gone.

Weeks go by and Tish is as sick as a dog. Beth is too busy grieving the loss of her dad to notice Tish’s hollow eyes and vacant expression; in fact, Beth seems to blame Tish for Rick’s disappearance.

And she’s right to, Tish thinks.

Tish doesn’t say anything. She loses a lot of weight - her cheeks are hollow and her jeans hang from her hips. All the while, she replays Rick’s words over and over again…

You’re dumb as rocks, Tish.

Tish knows she’s sick in the head. It’s sick to fall in love with your abusive grandfather, and even more sick to sacrifice everything for your abusive grandfather’s incest-baby. Tish can’t explain it. She’s always been good for nothing - not much to look at, useless at school, no real talent to speak of.

And then, one night when she was thirteen, Rick drunkenly grabbed her hand and dragged her through a portal, and Tish found her purpose.

She was good at playing side-kick. Dumb enough to shield Rick from his enemies, just smart enough to do (mostly) what she was told, and unquestionably devoted. Like an animal, she overheard Rick say once. Throw her a treat every now and then and she’ll come running.But Tish had thrived with Rick, despite everything. She followed him, pandered to him, drunk-sat him, memorized all of his quirks and habits. And when she was fifteen and neither of them could deny the draw of their bodies any longer, Tish had given herself to him, had quaked and keened beneath him as he mapped her with his hands and lips and tongue…

Tish was Rick’s, as sure as she was anything, and Rick, Rick was everything. And now, she had a part of him. A little piece of Rick, growing inside her.

Rick and Tish, forever and ever.

Tish is stupid, but she knows this much - if she does nothing else in her life, nothing at all, she’s going to do this. She’s going to leave her mark on the world, her mark and Rick’s.

She’s going to have this baby.

Still, that’s a hard thing for a seventeen year old to articulate, and Beth is less than supportive. Tish says nothing. She just dwindles away until one morning, 84 days after Rick left, she passes out in the middle of remedial algebra and wakes up in an ambulance. The paramedic refuses to hear Tish’s pleas of “low blood sugar; I skipped breakfast,” and Tish finds herself ushered into the ER, complete with ass-baring gown and oversized hospital socks.

“Congratulations,” the idiot in the white coat says, hardly glancing up from his clipboard. “You’re going to be a mom!”

Tish tunes him out as he prattles along about ultrasounds and hyperemesis gravidarum and dangerously low potassium levels. He tells her that she’ll be monitored overnight, and that her parents have been notified.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she wakes, holy fuck, Rick is there, staring at her with glittering eyes. Above her, Tish hears the blip-blip-blip of the heart monitor as it speeds.

Rick’s eyes never leave her face, but his hand snakes under her blanket, searching. He skims past her cunt, pausing as if to linger there, but then settles northward, fingers slaying wide over Tish’s pelvis as he palms the barely-there knot that rises beneath the dip of her hipbones. Tish’s whole body trembles. There’s something feral in Rick’s eyes, something deliciously possessive about the heat of his hand against Tish’s clammy skin.

“You’re an idiot,” Rick tells her solemnly.

I know, she starts to say, but it comes out as a moan.

The secret is out. Beth is casually disappointed in Tish for “repeating the same mistakes,” but admits that she hadn’t expected much better from her younger daughter. Rick explains away his absence with a bombastic story, complete with waving hands and drunken sound effects, and things go back to normal.

Rick refuses to talk about the baby. Tish only brings it up once, to let Rick know that she’s decided on adoption. He grunts and shrugs, and that’s that.

But Tish notices Rick watching her out of the corner of his eye. When they’re on adventures, Rick seems to move a little slower, to make more space for Tish, and once, Tish swears Rick shifted his body between her and and a hostile Gromflomite, almost as if he were protecting her.

And the sex.

The sex.

Rick worships her body in a way he never has before. At first, Tish assumes it’s because her tits are a little fleshier, but that’s not it. Rick can hardly keep his eyes and hands off of her, is always eyefucking her in the kitchen at breakfast, or cupping her ass as he slides past her in the hallway. He catalogues the changes in her body with his tongue, undressing her slowly, even massaging her lower back after a grueling day. When she doubles over at the dinner table with round ligament pain, Rick is in her room that evening, massaging her belly with a special alien oil. When her jeans won’t button, he takes her to an intergalatic shopping mall. He bitches the whole time, but he parades Tish around with his hand on the small of her back, and nobody bats an eye.

Tish loves it and loathes it. She basks in the glow of the moment, then cries into her pillow at night. It’s stupid to romanticize these little moments with Rick. He’s capable of altruism when it suits him, but it’s not like he loves her or anything.

Tish knows that she can’t keep this baby - she can’t raise a child alone, and, selfish as she is, she won’t give up her life with Rick.

She can’t.

But this baby, Rick’s baby… it deserves more than a shitty life on a deadbeat, backwater planet.

And Tish can give it that.

So with Rick’s reluctant help, Tish selects an off-planet adoption agency that is willing to place humans. She interviews potential families in her spare time. “I have an appointment,” she’ll announce, and Rick will sigh, blast a portal into the wall, and accompany her to the office. He hangs around, hovering at her shoulder until the receptionist calls her in, and then he disappears without a word. When the meeting ends, Tish finds a portal waiting for her in the corner of the reception area, and Rick tinkering in the garage.

They don’t talk about it.

There are more things that I’d like to work in here, but honestly, guys, I’m just not gonna. This is a fic that deserves some real life experience and at least 100k words, and I can offer neither. I want to hit on Tish’s lack of self worth - at this point, she’s living for this baby, because she views it as an extension of Rick. To Tish, this kid is the only thing of worth that she has to offer the world, and it’s the fact that it’s Rick’s, not hers, that she thinks is important.

On Rick - he loves Tish, in his own twisted way. He’s not at all interested in the baby, but because Tish is, he’ll play along. The idea of anything happening to Tish is absolutely unacceptable to him, and he was totally monitoring her (and the baby) while he was away. He couldn’t help himself. That’s why he came back when Tish was hospitalized. He wanted to make sure that Tish wasn’t going to kill herself trying to have this kid. And he missed her.

I don’t want to shy away from the darker aspects of the story. Namely, the incest and abusive/unhealthy relationship that Rick and Tish have. I imagine Tish worrying about the potential for genetic abnormalities, and wondering about the ethics of addressing this with potential parents. Maybe she brings it up to Rick one day, and he immediately whips up a little gadget and scans their baby (I really like the idea of Rick performing an amniocentesis, but I don’t know if that’s a little too much). But either way, I imagine Rick saying, “She’s fine,” and Tish just bursting into tears, because their baby is going to be just perfect, and also, it’s a girl.

And Rick just kind of fingering Tish’s hair and tolerating her crying it out.

Pregnancy kink. Rick is a kinky bastard, and I think a huge part of him is going to be hella turned on by the changes in Tish’s body. She’s literally growing a part of him. His baby’s baby is having his baby. It’s fucked up and it’s science, and Rick is gonna be so here for it. I’m not a smut writer, but I would love somebody who is to just take this and run with it.

It’s going to start with sex, but eventually, the further along Tish gets, the more possessive Rick is going to be of Tish. Yeah, it’s kind of hot that his granddaughter is carrying his child under their family’s nose, but there’s probably a deeper part of Rick that is just screaming for acknowledgement and absolution. THIS IS MINE. SHE IS MINE. I want to see jealous, anxious, overbearing Rick. And as this thing forces them to confront some ugly truths, I want to see that possessive, kinky, fucked up side of Rick soften into something that’s more protective and positive. I want to see him openly praise Tish’s body, and then eventually, praise Tish. I want him to slow down when she needs him to slow down and create space for her when she needs space. I want attentive, careful, gentle Rick.

But guys, Tish is going to lose this baby.

She’s like eight months along and begging Rick for a real adventure. She feels good, and she’s tired of sitting on her ass. And some stupid little thing goes wrong. Maybe she misreads a situation, or mishandles a weapon, or uses the wrong code word. And she falls, or maybe she takes a bullet and then she falls.

But she loses the baby.

Tish is not okay. This is postpartum depression meets miscarriage guilt. She blames herself for losing Rick’s baby. For eight months, this is all she’s lived for. She knew that this was her one shot, her one opportunity to leave a mark on the world.

And it was Rick’s baby. The thought of destroying anything of Rick’s is just unbearable to Tish, and it’s her fucking fault. She is useless on an adventure, and more than that, her stupid body is useless, sacrificing her baby to keep her alive.

Rick is fine once he realizes that Tish is out of danger, so Tish tries to be fine, too. She takes a week or two of bed rest, but she can tell that Rick is uncomfortable acknowledging her loss, so Tish tries to let it go. She goes on adventures, forces a smile, makes herself get out of bed and come to meals.

Meanwhile, Rick is kind of coming to his own conclusions. I imagine him holding the body of his daughter and thinking how perfect she is, how tiny, and how she looks exactly like Tish. And that thought, the thought of this tiny little Tish that could have been running around on some planet… well, that stings a lot more than Rick thought it would.

I mean, he’s okay. He doesn’t need another daughter, and he sure as hell doesn’t need a great granddaughter. He looks over at Tish, resting pale-faced in an alien hospital bed, and he hears the blip-blip of the heart monitor, and he knows that he’s complete.

But still, he can’t help but wonder, and something in his chest throbs as he does.

But Tish bounces back as well as he could have expected. Sure, Rick sees the shadow in her eyes, but when she grips his hand and says, “Where are we going today, Rick?” he answers her, because that’s so much easier.

Tish is fucking drowning. I’m not sure what the tipping point will be, maybe just a tiny misunderstanding with Rick, or a bad grade, or a joke about teen pregnancy at school. But she’s done. She’s fucking done.

She tries to slit her throat in the bathtub.

Once again, she awakens in an alien hospital, and once again, Rick is staring at her with glittering eyes.

And he’s pissed.

“That’s the second time I’ve found you in a pool of your own blood,” he says. He’s gripping her hands too tight, baring his teeth and hissing. In the dim hospital light, he looks absolutely feral, and Tish is terrified.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers hoarsely.

Rick’s face crumples, and something inside of her shatters at his disappointment. “I’m sorry!” Tish wails over and over, tears running hot down her cheeks.

She’s sorry for everything.

Rick crawls into bed with her, monitors be damned. Tish is crying so hard that she can barely breathe, and suddenly, Rick is there, curling around her, tucking his face into her neck and burying his fingers into her hair.

“Shh, shh,” he shushes her. He holds her tight, murmuring senselessly in her ear as she babbles to him. It all comes out, all of Tish’s fears and failures, like the bursting of a dam. Tish couldn’t stop it if she tried. Rick never says a word, but his grip around her tightens, his fingers working little patterns into her skin as she speaks.

“Fuck,” he breaths as Tish runs out of steam.

“I’m sorry!”

Rick sits up. “Don’t!” he hisses, then looks away, as if ashamed. Tish tenses, but before she can respond, Rick reaches for her hand and squeezes tight.

“If I have to hear you say you’re sorry one more goddamn time…”

Tish bites back an apology.

Rick swallows hard, clears his throat. His fingers twitch in the way that Tish knows means he misses his flask. She notices for the first time that Rick isn’t wearing his lab coat. He’s still sitting up in the bed, gazing at the floor as if he can’t bear to meet her gaze.

“Do you know… Tish, do you have any idea - fuck. Don’t - don’t ever, Tish. Please, don’t ever make me do this again. I - I can’t…”

He breaks off, shoving a fist into his teeth and grimacing, and the image is so incongruous with the Rick Sanchez that she knows that Tish can’t help but reach for him. He pivots at her touch, and there are actual tears in his eyes.

“Tish, it’s you, baby. Just you. You’re… you’re the only - the only good thing. All the rest of it, the adventure, the science… It fucking doesn’t matter, okay? Nothing matters.”

Tish’s breath catches.

“No, you’re still not…” Rick makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever done, the only thing I’ve ever... ever… Fuck!” He throws his hands in the air. “You’re... you’re my magnum opus, okay? You complete me.”

“Oh,” says Tish stupidly.

“Yeah, ‘oh,’” Rick mocks. He’s flushed, biting his lip and running his fingers through his wild hair. “I can’t believe… just, just, Tish,” he looks at her now, dead serious, “Don’t make me say it again, okay?”

Don’t make me lose you again. Please.

“Okay, Rick,” she agrees, crawling into his lap and tucking her head under his chin.

And like, things aren’t magically okay. It’s never a healthy relationship. Tish never gets over losing her baby, and Rick never mentions it again. But there’s something about Rick calling Tish his “opus magnum” that really satisfies me in a way that no fic I’ve read has yet. And I like to think that they are a tiny bit more open now, or at least, they know each other better. Tish might never have any self-worth, but she knows that Rick values her, and that’s the best feeling. And Rick is a little softer with Tish, and he never quite loses that protective streak that he picked up while she was pregnant.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 26

TW: abuse

——-

“How does it feel? Well it feels like I’m on fire!”

---

Vic Fuentes kissed me.

Out of nowhere, Vic Fuentes’ lips were on mine.

And I was just sitting there. Like a fucking moron!

I guess he noticed because it was over as soon as it started. He pulled away all too quickly and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he said uncomfortably, “I shouldn’t have done that. I just....I just thought....Fuck.”

He leaned back until he was lying on his back on the floor, his hands over his face. He groaned into his palms.

“I’m a stupid motherfucker,” he groaned. It sounded muffled but I could hear the conviction behind each word.

I was still left speechless. The feeling of Vic’s lips on mine was still strong on my senses. And I was still beating myself up for not kissing him back. From the looks of it, that was also why he was beating himself up.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Kells. I’m so, so fucking sorry. That was dumb of me. Shit.” His hands were off of his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut. He didn’t want to look at me, but the pain on his face was more than apparent from where I was sitting.

I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault; that I was just surprised but if it had registered quicker, we would be making out now. But I couldn’t find the words to tell him. So I did the next best thing.

I got out of the chair I was sitting in and got on the floor. I crawled until I was by his feet then straightened up to straddle him.

Vic opened his eyes. “What are you...?” he trailed off. I didn’t respond. Instead I leaned down and kissed him.

As soon as our lips connected I felt sparks shoot down my back. And this time, Vic kissed me back. His hands ran down my sides to the small of my back where they slide up my shirt to rest on the spot. The feeling of his skin on mine sent more sparks through me.

I could’ve stayed kissing him forever. His lips were so soft and molded with mine perfectly. Even though I had started it, he took control.

He strengthened his hold on my body as he kissed me harder. I ran my fingers through his hair just to get a grip on something. That just caused him to kiss me harder.

He held me tight and flipped us over so he was straddling me. Our lips parted in that moment. He looked down into my eyes with lust in his. I stared into his dark eyes as I ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. I chuckled.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you,” he whispered, his eyes still closed.

“Then why’d you stop?”

When he opened his eyes this time I saw that the lust was gone. “Because,” he started, “if I don’t then we’d end up doing things that we’re not ready for yet. I don’t wanna start something that you’d never want me to finish.” He ended his sentence with a cocky wink that caused me to shove him playfully.

“You’re such a perv.”

“Maybe, and maybe I can show you how much of a perv I can be.” This time his sentence ended with him nipping at my neck. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Vic Fuentes’ lips on my skin.

“Maybe,” I whispered.

Too quickly his lips were off of my body. Then his body was off my body. I pouted.

“Don’t give me that look,” he chastised. “I’d love to stay on top of you, but I can hear my mom downstairs. Do you wanna stay for dinner?”

I sat up. “No, I’ve gotta get home. My mom’s shift ended early today.”

He nodded. “Okay, well let me walk you out.” He reached down to grab my hand and pulled me up. Once I was on steady on my feet he pulled me in and kissed me again. This one was softer and not at all as heated as the one before it. I melted into him as he held me.

He pulled away after a little bit and sighed. “I’m so glad I get to do that now.”

I blushed, unable to hide the fact that I was just as glad. He locked our fingers together as we walked out of his room.

“So,” I started as he led me down the stairs, “are we dating now or...?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, “do you wanna be?”

I blushed. “Maybe...”

We reached the door when Vic took both of my hands in his. “Just say the word Kells and I’m all yours.” He kissed the back of my hand before giving me a soft, sexy smile.

I could’ve melted right there.

“I, um, I should go,” I stuttered. Damn him for getting me so flustered.

Vic chuckled at my reaction. “Okay, I’ll stop bothering you now.” He opened the door and ushered me out. “But I’ll be thinking about those lips of yours on mine all night.”

I turned crimson at his words. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” I rolled my eyes. “Have a good night, Quinn. I’ll text you later.”

I nodded. “Seeya.”

I walked down the porch steps to my car, got in, and drove home with a smile on my face and a fluttering heart the entire time.

***

The week of thanksgiving came and went all too quickly. Since the move and the recent divorce proceedings, Mom didn’t have enough money for her and me to travel back Oregon to see my grandparents, so we enjoyed a relaxing week at home with each other. It was nice being able to spend that time with her.

I didn’t tell her about Vic though. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.

In fact, I didn’t tell anyone about Vic and our kiss. Part of me didn’t want to jinx what had happened, and another part of me was just saving my own ass.

What if Vic didn’t want anyone to know? He was a popular and feared kid at school. If word got out that he had kissed the new kid he’d probably hate me. And what if he wasn’t out? That would be even more embarrassing for him. I’d never want to out someone before they were ready.

These were just some of the thoughts that were running through my head as I was FaceTimeing Vic.

“What’s on your mind, Quinn?”

I shook my head to clear out the voices. “Nothing. Just trying to get out of my food coma.”

Vic chuckled. “So I’m guessing you and your mom had a feast last night?”

“Yeah. Mom kinda goes all out for thanksgiving. This year especially.” This was our first thanksgiving without Rick, and according to Mom, it was going to be one of many. She was really done with his shit and she didn’t want anything to do with him.

“What about you? How was your thanksgiving?” I asked Vic.

“It was nice. We have a lot of family that comes over for holidays. Got to hang with some extended family that we haven’t seen in a while.”

I nodded. “You know, I’m kinda jealous.”

“Why’s that?”

“All of my extended family is back in Oregon, and even though I miss them, I’m not down for going up into the middle of nowhere.”

Vic chuckled. “So I take it you like Cali more than you thought, huh?”

“No,” I said defensively, “I just like the city.”

“Sure Kells,” Vic said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes to try to conceal the smile that was playing on my lips. I always got a little giddy when he used my nickname.

“You know, we should do something tomorrow.”

“Something like what?” I asked.

“Like dinner maybe?” It came out as a question, a nervous question.

“Victor Fuentes, are you trying to ask me out?”

He scratched the back of his neck. “Something like that.”

“What’d you have in mind, Fuentes?”

He shrugged. “Maybe you come over and we can make out in my room.” That wasn’t a question. It took everything in me not to scream out “yes” the instant that sentence left his mouth.

“Well don’t get too excited there, Quinn. Your dick might jump out of your pants.”

“Oh, you’d love to see that.”

“I’d love to do more than see it.” I chewed on my bottom lip and daydreamed about being with Vic at that very moment. All of this flirting was going to put an end to me if we didn’t act on it soon.

“Maybe I should come over now,” I said before going back to chewing on my lip. I tried to do so oh-so seductively. Not completely sure I pulled it off.

“Hell, I’ll come to you.”

I almost told him to do it when I heard glass shattering from downstairs. Vic must have heard it too because he gave me the same confused look I was giving my phone.

I stood from my laying position on the bed and walked to my closed door. I opened it and looked down the ledge from the top of the stairs.

I saw Rick. He was drunk and holding a golf club.

He swung the club at a vase that was on a side table from the front door. Then he swung it at the pictures on the wall, knocking them off and shattering the frames.

Then he started walking toward the living room.

“Kells...” I ignored Vic’s call because my focus was on one thing: my mom. I knew she was still downstairs.

“Kellin!”

“Shut up!” I whispered harshly. I turned the volume down on my phone and put it in my pocket. I didn’t hear what else Vic had to say, but I know he was trying to talk me out of what I was going to do next.

I tiptoed down the stairs and crept into the living room. Luckily Rick wasn’t in there, but that meant he was in the kitchen with Mom. As if on cue, I heard Mom scream.

I rushed to the wall closest to the doorway and did my best to stay out of sight.

“C’mon Mary, it’s a holiday. Don’t you wanna spend some time with your husband?” A crash came after that sentence.

“Please, just leave,” Mom pleaded.

“Why would I wanna do that? This is the longest we’ve talked since I moved out. Let’s catch up.” There was another crash followed by my mom’s sobs. I peeked into the kitchen and saw that Rick had backed my mom into a corner. She was trapped.

My mind was racing. How could I help her? What could I possibly do without getting us both killed? The sad reality was that I had no idea, and the longer I stalled the worse it would get.

“You fucking kick me out, take my job from me, serve me with papers, and ruin my fucking reputation. You deserve everything that’s coming to you!” he seethed. I saw him swing the club and hit my mom’s shin. She yelped in pain.

“Oh did I hurt you?” he asked sarcastically. “Good. Now you know how I feel.” He swung and hit her again, this time in the stomach. It was hard enough for her to start coughing up a bit of blood.

I couldn’t watch anymore. I did the first thing I could think of: I snuck up behind Rick and grabbed the club as he brought it back.

“Oh, it’s you.” He had turned to see what stopped his next attack. When his eyes met mine, he gave me a sick smile. “The fucking cock block. I’ve been wanting to do this for some fucking time.”

I didn’t know what he meant but I soon found out. He pulled the golf club closer to his body which brought me closer to him. Then he brought his knee up to my stomach and swung the club at my head when I let go because of the pain.

There was a ringing sound and black spots in my vision. I fell to the ground upon impact.

I heard my mom scream. I felt the pressure of Rick’s shoe against my outstretched arm as he stepped on it.

“Where’s the tough guy, huh?” Rick asked cockily. “You can’t stand up to me now, can you?” A kick to the stomach. “Little bitch.” Another kick.

The black spots in my vision got bigger and more opaque. Every part of my body that was in contact with Rick’s foot ached then numbed itself, as if I was losing all sense of feeling in my body.

I heard my mom begging for me to stay with her, to breathe. Then I heard her get hit by Rick because she “talked too much.” He must have hit her in the head because the last thing I remember was blinking my eyes open to see hers closing in front of me.

[twdeadfanfic]

Sad Love Life

Summary: The reader and Daryl share their sad love stories during late night watchs, until eventually they come out to each other as bisexuals.

This story was important for me, I based it on a dream in which Daryl and I were friends and were sharing a watch, talking about our love life (though I don’t remember anything and all that I wrote here about Daryl’s past comes from my imagination), and when I told him I was bisexual, he told me he was too. That dream made me so happy. So for my, Daryl’s bi. It’s not mentioned here, but I also think Daryl is demisexual(or asexual), and I think I might be too.

I hope you all like this one-shot, it’s a bit on the long side, let me know your thoughts.

* Link to my masterlist with my other works can be found on the description of this blog. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but tumblr doesn’t show posts with links in the tags.*

-----------

You shifted restlessly in your sleeping bag. You couldn’t fall asleep. It was difficult for you to sleep even before the world went to hell, now that the dead walked around it was almost impossible for you to fall asleep at night, paranoid of walkers sneaking on you and afraid of the nightmares you might have. It usually took you hours of turning and tossing until you fell asleep out of exhaustion.

Giving up you sat up and looked around. Almost everyone was asleep or trying too, besides Daryl, who was sat down watching over the group, and Rick, who was pacing around the perimeter. Around four months had passed since you lost the Greene’s farm but it still hurt to think about what that place could have been for all of you. Now you were forced to camp in the middle of nowhere more often than not. Like that night.

The more you tried to fall asleep, the less sleepy you felt, and you were starting to feel a headache forming. Groaning in frustration, you gave up and silently walked towards Daryl, sitting down next to him. If you couldn’t sleep, at least you’d keep him company while he kept watch, though he didn’t seem to mind the solitude and silence.

“Can’t sleep.” You grumbled.

“Don’t trust Rick and I to make sure your ass ain’t eaten?” You knew he was joking and you nudged his foot with yours. You didn’t trust anyone more to keep you safe than those two.

It hadn’t been easy, get to be friends with Daryl, and at first you hadn’t really wanted to have him around, you were always annoyed at him back at the quarry. Things were different now, and you were glad you both had become good friends. By now you were sure he must be one of the best persons you had ever met, no matter it was hard to get him out of his shell.

“If you want to sleep I could keep watch for you.” You offered though you were pretty sure of what was going to be his answer.

“Nah, I’m good here.”

“Okay, mind if I sit with you?”

He shook his head again. "You should rest though.”

“In a bit.” When you were exhausted enough that you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

For a while you both stayed there in silence, but you felt calmer with Daryl next to you. You looked around at the sleeping group and smiled softly when you saw Glenn and Maggie snuggled together. Sure it might be easy to fall asleep with someone holding you, or at least lying there awake would be more enjoyable.

You caught Daryl glancing at you through the corner of his eye, silent. When he realized you had caught him, he dropped his gaze to the ground without saying anything.

“If you want to tell me something just do it, it’s fine.” You told him softly, but  he shook his head in silence. You had been friends for a while now and still it was hard to get him to tell you what was on his mind most times.

Eventually, when you had given up on the idea of him telling you what he was thinking, he began talking.

“You were with this guy at the quarry…Richard? He didn’t want to go to the CDC but you did, and you both parted ways like nothing…”

You were taken aback, you hadn’t expected Daryl to bring up something like that. You could only blink at him in surprise and he shrugged, looking away from you and seeming self-conscious. You let out a long breath as you thought about his words.

“It…it wasn’t like nothing.” It had actually been a long night of fighting about it. “But I knew that going with all of you to the CDC was the safest idea, and I wanted answers.” The ones you had found weren’t enough and were terrifying, but at least it was something. “He didn’t agree, thought we’d be better on our own. None of us was going to change our mind, so…” You shrugged.

“But it was like you didn’t care about what happened to each other.” Daryl pressed, and you knew he didn’t mean anything bad and you were glad he was sharing his mind with you, but still, you were feeling guilty and embarrassed.

“It’s not that, I did care, I hope he’s okay wherever he is.” However, you hadn’t thought back to him in quite a while, if you were honest. “But I told you, we had different ideas so we decided it was best to part ways…” Or you had decided it, you hadn’t been sure Richard wasn’t just going to grab you and push you into his car, but you guessed he hadn’t wanted to cause a scene in front of everyone.

Still, you were feeling guilty and you began to fidget. Daryl seemed to notice it. “I don’t mean it as something bad…just asking…” He shrugged shyly. “I always thought he was an idiotic prick.”

That made you snort quietly. “We hadn’t been dating for long.” You had met each other just a few months before the apocalypse. “But yes, I’m pretty confident he was an idiotic prick.” Both you and Daryl chuckled. “He wasn’t that bad before, but he turned worse and worse as the world went to shit, always telling me what to do and what not, trying to control me, behaving like I was a useless damsel in distress or some shit.”

You rolled your eyes, annoyed. You had put down more walkers than him yet he behaved towards you like you couldn’t do anything by yourself. He wanted to be on top of everything, to have people following him, he had hated how first Shane had been a leader to the camp, then Rick, despising the men, always trying to turn you and anyone he could against them. But you had known the value of both Rick and Shane, and Richard wouldn’t be like that in a million times. The reason he hadn’t wanted to go to the CDC was to get rid of Shane and Rick, you knew it, and to have people following him, but you hadn’t wanted to be part of that.

“Pff…didn’t you save his ass in the woods once when he walked right into some walkers?” Daryl raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yep.” You scoffed. “And he didn’t lose time to get angry at me and tell me how much I had embarrassed him in front of everyone.”

“Asshole.”

“Pretty much an asshole.” You chuckled again and Daryl smirked. “But not the biggest asshole I ever dated, though. Neither the second.”

Daryl looked at you amused, “Really?”

“Yep.” You laughed quietly. “I don’t have the best dating history, you know.”

“Who was the biggest one?” Daryl asked and you were surprised to hear him asking a personal question, but you didn’t mind it. You liked the idea of getting to know each other better, he was a good friend after all.

“You really wanna hear my sad love life, Dixon?” You half-joked and he shrugged. “You’re gonna tell me about yours?” You honestly couldn’t imagine Daryl being in a relationship but who knew.

“You can tell me or not, don’t care.” He mumbled, dodging your question, and with the way he was turning and looking away for you, you could see you had made him uncomfortable. It hadn’t been your intention, and you felt bad.

“I’d like to, venting about it seems like a good  plan to spend the time.” You smiled at him, hoping he wasn’t upset. “If you really don’t mind it, I think I just got in the mood to rant about Richard.”

Daryl glanced at you through the corner of the eye and you thought he wasn’t going to say anything, but then the corner of his mouth twitched into a tiny smile.

“Go ahead.”

*

“But you knew he had more girls?”

“Yeah…”

You had spent the last couple of nights telling Daryl all about the awful guys you had dated. Honestly, you’d never thought you’d talk about something like that with Daryl Dixon of all people, but it was good. Sometimes it was fun, other times it still hurt to talk about it, but it felt cathartic.

“And you didn’t care?” He was frowning at you now.

“It’s not that I didn’t care…it’s…complicated.” You let out a sigh. “I was young and dumb, you know.”

“Was he older than you?”

“Yeah, but not like the one I told you yesterday.” You had dated someone ten years older than you when you were in your late teens and now the memories made you cringe. Daryl just hummed without saying anything.

“I just though…I don’t know…He always told me how I was the best one, but that the others blackmailed him to be with them or some shit, but that he wanted to be with me no matter what…” You huffed at how silly you had been. “Or then he’d tell me that he wasn’t sure if I truly loved him and how I had to prove it to him. But I was never enough to be the only one, it seemed.” You shook your head, disgusted and upset. That one still hurt, you felt you had been an idiot, but you had been in love nonetheless.

“We don’t have to talk about this anymore.” Daryl offered, noticing your distress, and you gave him a weak smile.

“No, it’s fine, I like it…I never told anyone the full extent of it, you know…” You had been too embarrassed to share it, but you felt Daryl didn’t judge you. “I just feel so stupid now, but I couldn’t help myself, I was young and in love with that prick.” You let out a sigh. “I don’t know why I’d care that much about being number one and the one and only for that prick.”

“He does sound like a prick…” Daryl mumbled.

“He had his good things…he knew how to be pretty charming…” You shrugged, you knew you had been an idiot. “Anyway, about one year and a half later he moved away with this girl, younger than me, pretty, I was so brokenhearted…” You’d cried for weeks, didn’t get up from the bed, and now you shook your head in embarrassment. “He still called me and all that, at first I tried to ignore him but…Anyway, here comes the fun part and by fun, I mean worst.”

“Wasn’t it bad enough? You’re worse than a shit romance novel.” Daryl joked and you nudged him with your shoulder, but you knew he didn’t mean anything bad.

“We’re getting very novel-like, mind you. Well, he comes one day, calls me saying he wants to meet, and then he tells me that he’s getting married cos his girl is pregnant, but that he really hopes to keep seeing me cos he likes me more, and kisses me and yeah, well…it wasn’t fun.”

Your heart had been shattered and you thought you would never be able to put it back together, but you did. Daryl looked at you as if shocked. “What a damn prick.”

“Yeah…yeah he was…”

“So you didn’t see him more after that?”

“Well…” You fidgeted, embarrassed.

“Seriously?”

“I told you, I was stupid and young…I kept seeing him when he came to the town but it didn’t take me more than a couple of months to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore…” Still, you had been brokenhearted for months and months. “I couldn’t take it anymore and I started to see how he really was.”

“Took you long enough.”

“I know…”

Daryl didn’t say anything else and you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you had been wrong, maybe he did judge you…maybe he thought you were a homewrecker bitch and an idiot, maybe you were. You felt a lump in your throat and you swallowed hard.

“It’s just I can’t see you acting like that…” Daryl said quietly. “Dunno…I thought you’d have punched someone like that in the face.”

You snorted. “Yeah well, back then I wasn’t like I am now.” You had grown a lot, both before and after the apocalypse. You all had grown after the apocalypse. “And I was an idiot in love.” You let out a sigh. “But yeah, I bet you had never done something stupid because of that, so whatever.”

Daryl shifted uncomfortably and you knew better than to press it. During the nights you had been telling him about your love life, you had asked him about his too, trying to learn something more about him, but he never told you anything. You had begun to wonder if he had ever had a relationship, but you didn’t want to press him and make uncomfortable. By now you had given up on the idea of getting to know more about that part of his life.

You stayed silent, you didn’t feel like thinking or talking more about your relationships for the night. Besides, you didn’t have many more to tell…

“There was this girl…uh…” Daryl began talking and you looked at him surprised. Was he really going to tell you about a girl he had dated? You held your breath, hoping he’d continue, he seemed to be looking for the right words, frown on his face.

“She was friends with one of the girls my brother was hooking up back them…with more than one, probably. I must have been like seventeen or eighteen, I used to go with my brother and his friends to this bar each night, where the girls were. So there was this girl…I didn’t think she’d have even noticed me, but one night she began talking to me. I didn’t know why. But she kept doing it, night after night…like she was interested in me…so yeah…”

He really was telling you and you couldn’t believe it. It made you so happy that Daryl would open up and share it with you, you couldn’t help your smile as you listened to him. You could guess how hard it must have been for that girl to get Daryl out of his shell.

“So…I don’t know if you want to say we got together or whatever…I thought she liked me…” You could see how uncomfortable Daryl was, his cheeks blushed, and you wished you could make him feel more at ease but you didn’t know how. On one hand you felt like telling him he didn’t need to tell you, but now that he was actually sharing it with you, you wanted to hear it.

“But, she didn’t like me. Didn’t know why I even thought she did.” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head. “What she liked were my brother’s drugs. He used to deal back then. So one day she told me to get Merle’s stash for her…and yeah, well, I did. When Merle found out…he wasn’t happy.” You didn’t want to even imagine the fight those two must have had. “And once she realized I wasn’t going to be able to get her more of Merle’s stuff, she didn’t even look at me again…so yeah…I was an idiot too.”

“Daryl…”

You looked at him but he was looking away, cheeks red, arms around his knees as if shielding himself. You wanted to hug him or something, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable. You were brokenhearted at someone doing that to him. You had wondered how hard it must have been for that girl to get Daryl to open up, and she had only taken advantage of it. You were enraged at her, you wanted to slap her, yell at her…You couldn’t believe someone would use Daryl like that after getting him to lower his thick walls, after getting to know the sweet, great man he was…

“That girl was a damn prick, as stupid as mean.” You huffed. “She didn’t know how lucky she was, she didn’t know what she had!” You couldn’t help how mad you were. Daryl just scoffed, shaking his head. “I mean it, Daryl, she didn’t deserve you. At all.”

He looked at you at that, frowning and as if trying to see if you might be messing with him. He seemed to decide you were genuine, but he just shrugged again, looking away. You didn’t know how to make him feel better, you didn’t know if you could.

“At least we know we aren’t the only ones who are idiots when they are in love.” You joked softly, waiting for his reaction with bated breath.

Daryl scoffed but a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked at you. “I wasn’t in love or nothing.” He grumbled.

“Okay.”

You didn’t press it more, grateful he had shared that with you. It seemed you weren’t the only one with a sad love life, and you hoped you were helping each other to mend your past broken hearts as you shared your stories.

*

Next day you were back at sharing Daryl’s night watch, both of you in silence. Neither of you had talked again about the stories you had shared last night. You kept thinking about Daryl’s, grateful he had shared it with you but also sad and mad at the girl who had used him like that and taken advantage of Daryl’s big heart.

You weren’t sure if Daryl maybe regretted telling you, or if he was now awkward and uncomfortable, but you didn’t mention anything else about it, just in case. He was silent and thoughtful, yes, but you didn’t think that more than usual.

“You ain’t telling me nothing today?” He asked you after a while, surprising you a bit. You looked at him but he was looking away. You didn’t know if he was really interested or if maybe he just thought you might be bored there.

“Don’t have much more to tell, I’ve told you about almost every awful guy I’ve dated I think.” You said and Daryl just hummed.

You chewed on your nails as you considering telling him one last story, this time a little bit different.  You were mostly sure Daryl wasn’t going to react badly to it, but still, you knew how Merle had been and Daryl was his brother after all…but both Dixons were different, and Daryl had come a long way since stepping away from his brother’s shadow. And after all, he had shared something private and deep with you yesterday, it might not seem like it but you knew it had been hard for him. You knew he had to trust you to talk to you about something like that, and you were grateful you had his trust. You wanted to share something deep with him too.

“You know how I’ve told you only awful love stories?” You asked and Daryl nodded. “What if I told you about one that wasn’t awful?”

“Okay.” He shrugged.

“It doesn’t really have a happy ending, though.”

“Didn’t expect any less from one of your stories.” Daryl half-joked, looking at you with a tiny, half smile.

“Mean.” You nudged him playfully. “Anyway, I was in my second year of college and I met this new girl. She was like, super smart, had gotten there with a scholarship and all, and I thought she was so pretty, like one of those girls you think doesn’t exist out of a magazine or something like that.”

You smiled sadly, the memories were bittersweet. “Anyway we began talking and soon we were friends. But I…I didn’t like her only as a friend, and the more time I spent with her, the harder I fell for her. So one day, we were celebrating we’d passed our exams and I kind of kissed her out of the blue. But, she freaked out and left, didn’t talk to me in days.” You’d been so scared, berating yourself, thinking you had lost her and her friendship forever.

“Until a few days later she came to my place and I opened the door and she kissed me and it was just…” You let out a dreamy sigh, smiling like an idiot at the memories. “She’d never thought she might like girls, had never let herself think it. But once she did, she realized she didn’t want me only as a friend either. Lucky me. And so well, we began dating. Best damn relationship I ever had, I think.”

You sneaked a glance at Daryl, trying to see his reaction at what you were saying. He was looking at you and seemed a bit surprised, but you didn’t know if in a bad way or not. When you caught him staring he looked away, though he kept glancing at you through the corner of his eye.

“Daryl, if you want to tell me something, go ahead.” You told him softly.

“Just…didn’t know you liked girls…” Daryl mumbled.

“Yeah, well…didn’t feel like I had to go around announcing it.” You weren’t ashamed or anything, but the other people in your group didn’t introduce themselves saying hi I’m hetero or anything like that, so you didn’t know why you should have.

“Didn’t mean it like that…” Daryl said quietly. “Just…you’ve been telling me about all those guys you dated…”

“It’s not my fault most of my awful dates were boys.” You chuckled awkwardly. “I like both boys and girls, I’m bisexual.” You shrugged, trying not to make a big deal of it. Daryl didn’t say anything, making you feel a bit insecure. “You think there’s anything wrong with it or something?”

“Why would I?” Daryl looked at you weird and you shrugged.

“Dunno…some people don’t really take it well sometimes...”

It could go from them thinking there was something wrong with liking girls, to others thinking you were either hetero or a lesbian but confused, or that you wanted it all and wanted to be special and different, or whatever shit you had ever had to hear, or to them deadpan telling you bisexuality didn’t exist. As if you didn’t know how you felt.

“Yeah, well, some people are idiotic assholes,” Daryl said, making you snort, giving relieved, grateful smile that he returned, the corner of his mouth twitching into a tiny one. “Why you didn’t get a happy ending with that girl?”

“Well…when we graduated she got this really good grades cos I told you, she was damn intelligent. And she was offered a scholarship to study in a super good post-grad school in another country, it was a dream come true, right what she wanted, a super good chance. But I couldn’t go with her.” You couldn’t afford it and you needed to start working as soon as possible to pay your loans, your grades were neither brilliant.

“She said that then she wasn’t going to go, that she would stay with me. But I couldn’t have her missing that, not because of me, she deserved it, she was bound to do great things. I wasn’t going to hold her back from all that. So I ended the relationship, told her to go…” You realized you were almost crying, your voice breaking, and you let out an embarrassed chuckle, sniffing and rubbing your eyes. “So yeah, no happy ending…well, a bittersweet one.”

You were surprised to feel Daryl’s hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly, comfortingly, and you gave him a grateful smile, placing your hand on top of his.

“God…I hope she’s okay…that maybe this madness hasn’t reached wherever she’s living now.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Daryl offered, even though at the CDC you had been told the infection had spread worldwide. He might not look like it, he might fight it, but Daryl was just the sweetest.

*

Next night you joined Daryl again and for a while you both stayed silent. It wasn’t that unusual but still, as you stole glances at Daryl you noticed him even more thoughtful than usual, seeming nervous and fidgety.

“You okay?” You asked him and Daryl nodded in silence without looking at you. You still felt there was something off with him “Daryl, if you are worried about something, or anything, you know you can tell me.” You told him softly as he shifted as if uncomfortable.

“Ain’t nothing.” He turned slightly away from you, and you didn’t press it.

For a while he didn’t say anything, but then he began talking again, his body still slightly turned away so you couldn’t see his face. “It’s just…I’ve been thinking…what you told me yesterday…just…nothing.” He trailed off, looking more uncomfortable and unsure than you had ever seen him.

It was making you feel bad for him but you didn’t know what he was trying to say or how to help him, though you guessed it might have something to do with another bad love story like the one he had told you a couple nights ago. You wanted to give him some support and you reached out for his hand, but he flinched it away roughly. You were about to apologize but he gave you a side way glance and relaxed a bit, slowly sliding his hand closer to yours until you felt his fingers gently drumming over yours, nervously.

After a little while of silence, you heard him swallowing hard and taking a deep breath, and then he began talking again. “I hadn’t really had anyone before, when I was little, like friends, not beside my brother. People in my town didn’t like Dixons…I can’t blame them…” This wasn’t really what you had expected him to start telling you, but you were glad he was telling you something more about his life, and you listened in silence. “Anyway…I was in high-school and there was this group in class, they’d always pick on me, making fun of me, cos you know, redneck trash and whatever…”

“Hey.” You couldn’t stop yourself from lacing your fingers with his at that and squeezing his hand. “You are nothing like that, okay?” Daryl just shrugged.

“I know what I am.” He murmured. “Anyway, I got into a lot of fights with them. And there was this guy in my class, I don’t know why but he began standing up for me…got him into trouble too. But he didn’t seem to care. And yeah, well, we became friends.” Daryl fell silent again, his fingers playing nervously with yours. You squeezed his hand gently as you waited for him to keep going.

“Merle wasn’t around so I had none but him. We’d hang out, we’d get into fights with whoever picked on us, it was good. Yeah, yeah, it was good… There was this time that Merle came back for a couple weeks, though, and he didn’t like him, didn’t like that we were friends, though I didn’t understand why back then. Told me to stop hanging out with him, he even threatened him, but neither of us listened to it. Merle didn’t like that…”

Daryl swallowed hard again, his fingers twitching nervously, and you rubbed your thumb softly over his knuckles, trying to reassure him.

“His parents didn’t like it either…how were they gonna like their kid being friends with a Dixon…” He scoffed and you hated he still thought so low of him sometimes, but you didn’t say anything, letting him speak. “Especially not after my brother threatened him…but he didn’t care, didn’t stop hanging out with me. Until one day, his parents picked up their things and left our shit town, they had found a job in another one or some shit…didn’t even let him say goodbye…”

“Daryl…” You squeezed his hand, your heart hurting for little Daryl. “I’m sorry…”

“Yeah, well…”

Daryl shrugged, seeming uncomfortable, and you both stayed silent for a while, your thumb tracing gentle circles over the back of his hand.

“I…I’ve been thinking about what you told me yesterday…” Daryl began quietly but then he stopped again for a little while. “’being thinking about what you said…about that girl, that you…that you didn’t like her only as a friend…” He stopped again and you waited until he felt like speaking again, you thought you guessed where this might be going to and you didn’t mind waiting the whole night if he needed it.

“And I…I’ve been thinking…maybe…dunno…” He shrugged, uncomfortable, his hand shaking ever so slightly in yours, and you squeezed it gently. “Maybe I…dunno, but maybe I… maybe didn’t like him only as a friend, either…don’t know… I just…dunno. I’ve been thinking all the time about what you told me…and then thinking about back then…and I think…I think that maybe I…that maybe I too…don’t know…” He trailed off, he seemed to find it hard to put his thoughts into words and he seemed so uncomfortable and nervous that it was hurting you. He looked at you for a second, his eyes nervous, before looking away again.

“It’s okay, Daryl.” You tried to reassure him softly, he was such a close, private person, and with what you knew about his past and family, you knew how hard this must be for him. You couldn’t be more grateful that he was sharing it with you, but you didn’t want him to keep going if it was making him feel bad. “You don’t need to tell me anything else, it’s okay. But if you want to, then I’m here for you, alright?” You squeezed his hand again.

Daryl nodded, looking at you for another second before looking down. “I think…I think that maybe…that maybe I’m like you in that.” He whispered. You didn’t know what to say, afraid of saying the wrong thing, but you didn’t want to not tell him anything either.

“And how do you feel about it?” You ventured and Daryl just shrugged, seeming helpless. “It’s okay, you don’t need to have anything figured out and it’s nobody’s business but yours.” Daryl didn’t say anything, looking away. “But, if you are like me…then, well, what I’m going to say, I think it’s more than okay.” Daryl looked at you at that, still seeming unsure.

“You told me yesterday, didn’t you? That it was okay, that there was nothing wrong with me liking boys but girls too. Didn’t you?” You tugged at his hand gently and he looked at you, nodding softly.

“Then, if you might like both girls and boys too, it’d be okay too.” You shrugged, trying to say it casual, like it wasn’t a big deal, giving Daryl a smile. His eyes darted back and forth from you and the ground and then he nodded, the corner of his mouth lifting into a tiny, tiny smile.

He still seemed a bit nervous, and like he didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t seem as uncomfortable and scared as he before. You stayed silent too, holding his hand, letting him process everything and calm down.

“Hey, Daryl.” You started when you thought he was feeling better. “Thank you for sharing all this with me, really, it means a lot to me. More than I can tell you, seriously.”

Daryl looked at you with a soft smile at that, his cheeks still blushed but he seemed to be feeling better, and this time it was him who gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “It was you who started.”

“Yes, and I really liked it, I think it was good for me, made me feel better.” It had been bittersweet, but you had liked to share all the bad and the good times, the memories, healing the bad, cherishing the good, and getting Daryl to know you a bit more.

“Me too,” Daryl said quietly and you couldn’t help your smile. You really wished it was true, that he felt better about everything, about himself.

“You don’t have to but…if anytime you feel like talking about this…well, I’m here for you, okay?” You offered softly, didn’t want to press it.

“Yeah…yeah, okay.” Daryl smiled softly and nodded.

You squeezed his hand back and carefully leaned against his arm, resting your head in his shoulder, a silence that had nothing of uncomfortable filling the night’s air as you kept each other company during the watch.

-------

I’m a bit nervous about this, I’m not going to lie, but it was important for me to write it.I hope I did it good...what you thought about Daryl’s past love stories? It was fun to imagine that side of him, but also challenging. 

Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked it! If you have a moment, please let me know your thoughts in the comments, your feedback makes my day! 

As always, English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistakes.

If you want to be tagged (or removed from the tags) let me know!

@momc95​  @jodiereedus22​ @osweetdevilo​ @sapphire1727​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @crustyrose​ @checkintoreality​ @daddys-little-princess67 @sesshomaru-lover​ @crossbowking​ @coltcas​ @feartheendlesssummer​ @izumi37​ @gruffle1​ @cutiepiemimi13​ @drina365​ @kuolematkorjaavat @daeshaunex2 @twdeadlysins​ @stressed-lasagna​ @teenyforestfairy​ @yenne-yen-illustrations​ @mychemicalimagines​ @nikkipea​ @crazycatladyalustriel​  @miniprz  @wolfkg​ @paybackbarnes @haleypearce @nikki082489 @dotslabyrinth @mtngirlforever @superflannel @blckbuttler @deanervs   @linktheloveabledork @sourwolf-sterek32 @iminlokisarmysofi @traveleraroundsworld @deliciousassafrasssandwich @angelontheinside @friendly-black-cat @firehoopinmama @d0ntfitin @ivars-snowflake @mblaqgi @lxdyred @a-dlv @elysijin

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Into My Web (Chapter 6)

Alright lovelies, some of you won't be happy with this but as of now, this story is going on a temporary hiatus. I really just can't bring myself to do more of it. I'm so uninspired.

Most of you saw my other post and already know this.

I agonised over this and worked myself up. But after talking to a bunch of readers/friends and thinking about it. The best thing for me to do is put this story on hold for the moment and do one of my others.

And trust me when I say I have plenty of others in the works.

I’ll come back to this one once my brain feels inspired to do so.

----------------------------

Arabella groaned as her eyes fluttered open. Her head hurt like a bitch, she had forgotten just what a hangover felt like. But it was the sounds outside that had roused her from her sleep. As her brain started to function properly and her senses came back to her, she made out the frantic shouting. She jumped out of bed just in time to hear Beth shouting her sister panicked. Arabella looked over the railing as Maggie came out of her cell, doing the same as she looked at her sister.

“One of the fences are down!” Beth yelled, her voice laced with fear as she cradled Judith in her arms. The colour drained from Arabella's face and she darted in her cell, grabbing her machete before she ran down the stairs like a bat out of hell, Maggie hot on her heels.

When she got outside, she saw Tyreese, Rick and Daryl pushing the fence that was bowing, walkers crawling on top trying to get in. Michonne, Sasha and Glenn where stabbing some of them, trying to get the numbers down but it seemed to be never-ending. Daryl looked up as he strained to hold the weight up, seeing her stood there frozen. She was still in her sleep shorts and pyjamas, her blonde hair wild and he might have appreciated the view if it wasn't for the fact that the prison was seconds away from being overrun. He could see her eyes darting around frantically, trying to come up with a plan. His eyes widened when she sliced her hand, running over to the fence and dragging her hand along it as she started to lead some of the dead away.

The dead followed her along and she knew her plan was working, most of them left the fallen fence and it didn't take long for the group to get rid of the ones left and start to swiftly reinforce the fence. But now they were following her, they were still here and soon enough they'd be breaking another part of the fence down. She needed to do something. Her eyes darted to the gate and she swallowed thickly, she knew she'd get her ass kicked for this, if she survived that was. She ran over to Glenn and Daryl looked over, it looked like they were arguing but he couldn't hear them. He was trying to get the fence back up quickly, there was still too many walkers for his liking outside the prison and they had to be quick. Suddenly Glenn opened the gate and she ran outside, where the fucking danger was.

“The fuck is she doin’?!” Daryl growled, making Rick look over, his eyes widening.

“Glenn, What's going on?!” Rick shouted over looking mortified.

“She threatened to shove her machete up my ass!” he called back, looking like he was genuinely scared of her carrying out that threat. Daryl and Rick watched on horrified as the tiny little thing was outside the gates, using her machete to slash and kill the walkers that came near her. Her hand was still bleeding and they could smell it, all the hands grabbing at her made her nervous but she carried on despite the pounding in her head. That was her family in there and she would be damned if they were getting in, even if she lost her life in the process.

“Get yer ass back in here princess!” she heard Daryl yell at her, clearly angry with her. But she didn't listen, she didn't let him distract her. Daryl felt like he was on a rollercoaster, his stomach was falling out of his ass having her out there without him there to protect her. He felt physically sick. He glanced to Michonne who nodded at him.

“Go,” Rick said firmly, knowing what they were thinking without words. The fence was almost done know, Tyreese and Maggie could help him with it. Daryl wasted no time in readying his hunting knife as Michonne got her sword ready, letting Glenn open the gate for them. The three of them made quick work of the remaining walkers and Arabella's chest was heaving when she was done. She was covered in blood now and her head felt even worse, the hangover making itself known once more now the threat had gone.

Someone grabbed the tops of her arms painfully hard and she looked up shocked, only to see the cold hard eyes of Daryl Dixon glaring down at her.

“The fuck was that?” he growled at her, making her squint a little as she tried to yank herself free. He was far too strong though and she winced.

“That was me saving my family,” she bit out, matching his glare.

“Ya gon' get yaself killed, ya dumb bitch!” he snarled, looking angrier than she had ever seen him.

“Let her go, Daryl,” Michonne warned from next to them. Daryl looked confused for a minute until his eyes landed on his hands gripping her arms. He released her instantly, pushing her back a little in the process as she glared at him. The skin where his hands had been was bright red and he had no doubt she would be bruised. He hadn't even realised he was touching her at all but now he felt the shame and guilt creep in. He had let his feelings get the best of him, the overwhelming fear and worry he had felt at her being out here like that. Now he’d gone and hurt her, like his dad had come out to taunt him and remind him he was a Dixon.

She just looked at him with cold eyes before storming back through the gates. He squeezed his eyes shut before following after with Michonne. She was making her way to the door when she heard Rick call her name, she whirled around to look at him looking pissed off.

“That was a stupid move,” he scolded as he stood in front of her, the others looking on warily. Her jaw dropped a little in shock. She had just saved their asses and they were treating her like this? Daryl stood next to Rick looking at her hesitantly as the others in the yard looked on.

“In case anyone of you have forgotten, there's a little baby inside those walls, and it will be a cold day in hell before I let those assholes get to her,” she sneered, her eyes ablaze. Rick swallowed thickly. Of course he hadn't forgotten his daughter was inside, he himself would gladly do whatever it took to keep her on the earth, but he had underestimated just how much this young girl cared about her. It made sense really, she spent a lot of time with Judith and Beth, and if he was honest, he felt a little emotional that someone else was willing to put their life on the line for his child. He had been worried, seeing the girl run out there like that. She had become his family in his time with her, and it had filled him with dread, like he was waiting to see her get bit right in front of him. He hadn't really considered just why she would put herself in that situation in the first place.

“Bella…” he started, wanting to apologise. She just growled and turned around, stomping back off inside. The fire inside her was an inferno, feeling like a scolded child by both Daryl and Rick. She knew they would both do the same if they had the chance and they treated her like a damn child. She went to her cell and brooded for a while, and after the anger subsided, she just felt like shit. She felt like they saw her as useless. Weak, unable to hold her own or look out for the group. She felt like she had proved herself, especially after the farm fell, but clearly not.

She glanced up from where she sat on the bed when Rick walked in, a hesitant smile on his face.

“What? Come to bitch at me some more?” she snapped. She hadn't ever spoken to Rick that way and he sighed as he sat on the bed facing her.

“Bella, I’m sorry about that okay? I shouldn't have done it,” he said, looking at her apologetically. She blinked at him before lowering her gaze, picking at the worn blanket on the bed.

“I just wanted to help,” she whispered sadly, not looking at him.

“And I appreciate that,” he said softly, taking her hand in his and squeezing it.

“You scared us, we thought we were about to see you get ripped to shreds right in front of us. You're family Arabella, you matter here, to us. I get you wanted to help us, but you can't blame us for being worried,” he lamented, making her turn her gaze to him. A deep frown etched his face and she heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry, I won't do it again,” she relented, making his frown ease off his face, replaced by a weary smile.

“Good. Next time just take someone with you. Thought Daryl was about to have a heart attack,” he chuckled as he stood up, leaving her with a quirked brow as she watched him leave. She took a moment to think about what he said, insisting she was family. It made her feel funny and she stood up, deciding to show her face once more. She was halted by Daryl walking in, looking contrite as he glanced at her through his hair. She just looked at him, her face stony as she clenched her jaw, remembering what an asshole he had been

“M’sorry, for bein’ so rough with ya,” he said so softly she barely heard him. He was looking at her like a small boy who had been scolded by his mother and she hated the pang of sadness it sent through her.

“I’m gonna go get breakfast,” she muttered, not looking at him any longer as she went to move past him. He sidestepped her though and she blinked up at him.

“I shouldn't have done it. I ain't have a right to touch ya that way. I just freaked out,” he admitted sheepishly. She found herself getting annoyed by the fact he wouldn't let her leave.

“Just let me past Daryl,” she growled, trying to move past him again but he blocked her once more.

“Will ya just listen to me for a damn minute!” he snapped, she squinted at him as her nostrils flared watching as he glared her down.

“I fuckin’ panicked alright? Seein’ ya out there, so close to gettin’ bit. It scared the shit out of me,” he frowned. She swallowed thickly and glanced to her feet.

“Like you care,” she huffed childishly, making his frown deepen.

“Yer fuckin’ family Princess, whether ya like it or not. Ya don't gotta do shit like that on yer own, not when we’re here, not when I’m here. Ya wanted to protect us, I get it. But how do ya think we'd feel if ya got bit? If they tore ya to pieces right in front of us?” he asked, his intense stare pinning her where she stood. She didn't really think about it, she just needed to help.

“I panicked too. When I came out and saw the fence, all the walkers...all I could think about was them getting in here. To Judith, Carl,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut as the images swarmed her mind of what could have happened.

“Hey, I get it. But ya don't need to go all hero on us and try to save us by yaself. Ya got us now. We’re a team,” he insisted firmly, making her glance up to him again. It stole his breath for a second, seeing her big sad eyes and he had to look away from the feeling it was stirring in his belly.

“I know,” she sighed remembering Ricks words too. She had been reckless, she should have asked for help.

“Just promise me ya won't do it again. Don't go out there alone and put yaself in danger like that,” he asked softly, looking at her imploringly. She didn't know why he seemed so concerned, for someone that didn't like her very much he seemed to want her very much alive.

“Anyone would think you like me Dixon,” she smirked, trying to lighten the mood. This heart to heart with the hunter was intense. She remembered being drunk with him the night before but she didn't remember much. She had little to no recollection of what happened after Tyreese left or how she even got to her room.

Daryl ducked his head as he snorted, his lips quirking into a smile.

“Don't read too much into it. Ya one of the strongest here, need ya around,” he said, making her blush at the compliment.

“That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me,” she said, flashing him an impish grin. He shook his head as he huffed a laugh, turning on his heel as he walked out, her following behind him.

“Ya such a smart ass, ya know that?” he asked, glancing to her with a wry smile. She shot him a toothy grin as she walked past him, going down the stairs.

“So I’m told,” she snorted, glancing over her shoulder at him before prancing down the steps in search of food.

Daryl watched after her with a mix of feelings. Seeing her like that, it had made his heart and head feel all kinds of funny and he wasn’t sure just how to process it. He thought back to the night before. He remembered fighting with her, drinking, and not much else. But there was something he knew happened with her, something that he couldn't remember and it was like an itch in his brain he wanted to scratch. To remember just what happened. He heaved a sigh as he trudged down the steps, figuring he should eat something too. They had to reinforce all the fences now to make sure it didn't happen again. The image of her in her pyjamas flashed in his mind, looking wild, feral almost as she walked out, slaying walkers like it was nothing. Staring death in the face and not seeming to care.

It worried him. She was strong, that much was clear, but there was darkness inside of her. He could feel it, like it was calling out to his own. She seemed to have such little care for her own well being. He hated how she was in his mind constantly since they started spending time with each other, he wasn't really sure what it meant but it was starting to annoy him. How he couldn't seem to stop thinking about her, looking at her when she was around, seeking her out. He just hoped to fuck that it would go away soon.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag @keeperofwonderlandus @jodiereedus22 @easnuppa @fand0m-fiend @txladyj-blog @walkingdead-dixon

[scramblingminds]

Okay anon, you asked for this AGES ago but I was a bit stuck with it. But after the last few days anon drama in this fandom, I got the motivation to finish this one! I hope this is what you were hoping for. 

Warnings: ABO. Smut. Some angst and of course fluff because this is me after all. Rated E. 

@vbabe14  @syrabylene @greyhoundsgirl

Not Here

Daryl knew it would never get easier to ride through the gates of the Sanctuary, the sight of the place putting a foul taste in his mouth. Daryl knocked his kick stand down, the arms that had held on around his waist during the ride giving a firm squeeze before slipping free.

“Let’s make this quick.” Daryl muttered as Paul hopped off the back of his bike.

“I know, love.” Paul grinned at the alpha as he headed inside the building.

Daryl tried to not go in further than the exterior, rarely even to the gardens where only asphalt use to be. They just needed an update on all the community's food stores, Hilltop would be starting to harvest their crops over the next weeks and needed to know who needed what.  

Daryl was still straddling his bike, boot bouncing as he waited for Paul. As much as he hated the place, he hated the idea of Paul being inside of it alone even more. Daryl was no fool, Paul was the strongest person he had ever met and no one would honestly be dumb enough to bother him. After all, Rosita spent most of her time at Sanctuary and Daryl had seen her greet Paul as he went in. Paul could send anyone in that place to their ass and she was just as tough.  

There was just that hindbrain part of him that didn’t want his omega anywhere near the place that he hated so much. Paul being an omega wasn’t something that meant much to Daryl, it just made his instinct rear their head a bit more than if his boyfriend was a beta. Daryl had been a bit more protective of the man over the last few days, much to Paul annoyance.  

Daryl had even nearly knocked Rick off his feet when the other alpha had jokingly wrapped his arm around Paul when they had been at Alexandria earlier that day. Before Paul, Daryl had never gone into rut with anyone. Now it was something he was very familiar with.

Over the last year they had learned it started settling into Daryl in the week leading up to Paul’s heat. Daryl would get edgy about anyone being around Paul but he only started getting physical right before Paul’s heat. Luckily Paul only went into heat every other month, not every month like a lot of omegas did.  

So, Daryl twitchiness meant they needed to get back home as soon as possible. Daryl felt like he was going to crack the concrete under his boot as Rosita walked up with a grin. He glared at her until she pulled a silver case out of her back pocket and pulled two beautifully handmade cigarettes out. Daryl had fished his lighter out of his vest pocket in a flash making her laugh as she handed over the smoke to him, he clearly needed something for his nerves.  

-------------------------------

“Things getting a little tight around here?” Paul asked as he looked over the shelves in the admittedly massive pantry. Though the shelves were shocking bare.  

Frankie chuckled with a grimace, “A bit. Our gardens were doing alright but still aren’t quite keeping up with demand. But we still have a couple weeks before we need to get too worried.”

Paul nodded at the former wife as he wrote out their list, “Well, soon there should be more than enough to go around.”  

Hilltop had the best agricultural system, their crops thrived long before Negan and they had since. Oceanside did well but their fish and other game from the forest around their home was much more needed by the other communities.  

Paul didn’t mind the Sanctuary, he had no real issues with the people or place but he still had a dislike for it. He knew it came from his love for Daryl, the pain the alpha had gone through while there. He knew Daryl was ready to leave and not just because of where they were. Paul was honestly just as on edge, perhaps more so since he knew he was the cause for Daryl’s behavior.

Paul knew that a lot of people thought less of him because he was an omega. He had fought that stereotype all his life. Being an omega just made Paul stronger however. That didn’t mean he did feel things all others felt, he could feel the hollow feeling blooming in his gut. The sweat that broke out on his neck at random as his heat approached. Daryl getting physical with Rick that morning only served to prove just how close it was getting.  

It didn’t take long to get the list together, with Laura pitching in to help them along. Paul had just stepped out of the pantry, the two ladies following when he gasped. A sharp pain hitting him right in the abdomen, starting under his belly button and burning deep into his gut. He stumbled, having to grip the wall for support as another bolt hit, this time it shocked down into his pelvis making his knees week.  

“Jesus?!” Frankie rushed to his side, “What’s wrong?”

Paul swallowed a sound that would have been far too close to moan as he pressed his hand to his stomach. He shook his head, this couldn’t be happening now but he could feel the fever spreading up his chest.  

“Oh god, is he...” Laura whispered as she took a deep breath and Paul knew before long he would be stinking with it.

“I need...” Paul hated how high his voice sounded as tremors started in his thighs, “I need Daryl.”  

Frankie turned to Laura and snapped at the beta, “Go get him! I’m going to take Paul to my room.”

Laura spun without a word and took off down the hall. Laura looped her arm around Paul’s back, if he wasn’t so busy trying not to double over with a whine he would have been impressed by how easily she hauled him with her. Her face was set in a hard expression, “We have to get you out of here. It isn’t safe to be like this out here.”

Paul felt like she might be speaking from experience but he wasn’t in a state to question the other omega. All he could think about was the ache settling inside of him and how much he needed Daryl.  

-----------------------------

“Don’t tell Carol ‘bout this.” Daryl mumbled as he lit the cigarette now dangling from his lip.  

“Or Jesus?” Rosita smirked as she snatched his lighter for her own use.  

Daryl nodded, almost groaning with the long drag he took. He had been trying to quit but old habits do die hard after all.  His nerves were always on edge whenever he had to be around the Saviors home but it was made worse by his current state of mind because of a certain omega.  

They took a few puffs in silence, Rosita moving to lean against the bike with Daryl when he twisted around on the seat. Neither of them really saw much of each other anymore, usually just in passing because their lives had led them in different directions. She was still family though and he was comfortable with just being quiet with her.  

“So,” Rosita knocked the ash off the end of her smoke, “You guys still, you know, trying?”

Daryl figured she had smelled Paul when he passed her, the fainted scent of approaching heat clear even to her beta nose. Daryl took another deep inhale, glancing at her curious face through his bangs before giving the smallest nod.  

The first few heats they went through together had been protected. Paul had been taking, still affective but expired, birth control but it ran out after not too long. Daryl had never seen Paul nervous before, the man had been a ball of tense energy as he made the suggestion that they not try to prevent anything.  

Daryl could have been knocked over with a damn feather. They hadn’t been together that long at that point, around six months but honestly, they had been dancing around each other since that first day back on the road with the truck. Daryl couldn’t fathom that someone could love him like Paul insisted he did but the idea that anyone would be willing to have a child with him was seemingly impossible.

The term mate was outdated and many partners never used it. That was what it felt like Paul had been asking though, if Daryl might want to be his mate. Paul had been so patient as Daryl’s gears ground in his brain, just picking at his shirt sleeve between reaching up to tuck his hair behind his right ear. Daryl always found the little habit so enduring, Paul was all calm collected ninja but the little quirk only ever got seen by Daryl.  

Daryl had chewed his lip and thumb nail raw by the time he finally nodded. Paul looked like a feather would take him out too as his jaw dropped before it spread into a crooked smile. Daryl didn’t know why someone as amazing as Paul had chosen him but he wasn’t a stupid man. He knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  

“I think it would be good,” Rosita snapped Daryl back to the present and he cocked an eyebrow at her, “Good for there to be more kids. Good for Judith and Hershel to have someone to play with and grow up with.”

“Ya think so?” Daryl flicked his own ash away. He had thought the same thing more than a time or two.  

“Yeah,” Rosita smile was soft as she nudged his elbow, “It’ll be good for you too, Daryl. You’d be a really great dad.”

Daryl blinked at her, a flush pooling into his face as he cleared his throat, “Yeah?”

She nodded before smirking, “Plus we’d get to see Jesus trying to ninja around with a big baby belly.”

Daryl nearly choked on the laugh that image brought to mind before he jumped at a loud screech, “DARYL!!”

Laura hollered as she sprinted out of the building, stopping halfway to him before turning and franticly gesturing for him to follow, “It’s Jesus! C’mon!”  

Daryl threw his cigarette down, his feet moving faster than his brain. He never thought he would ever be in a hurry to get back inside of the Sanctuary but he was kicking up gravel as he took off behind the beta.

---------------------------------------

Paul’s skin was on fire by the time Frankie got him inside her room. She got him sitting on the bed, he crumpled into himself instantly. Paul didn’t mind the fact that he got heats, it was a part of his life as an omega. He didn’t particularly like where this one decided to rear its head though. If it had waited just another hour, they would have been home and he wouldn’t be throbbing in his pants at the Sanctuary.  

“Okay, Daryl will be here soon,” Frankie made him sit up so she could peel his leather jacket off him and toss it in a chair by the bed, “I’m not worried about any mess or even give a shit about these sheets.”

She nudged him with a joking smile and he tried to return it but all he could manage was a groan. She tucked his sweaty hair off his face as she pulled his gloves off and tossed them with his coat. She worked on his boots next, putting them next to the door and tucking his socks inside them so they wouldn’t get lost. She struggled a bit to get his holstered off but managed and set them on top of his boots.  

She knew every inch of his skin was burning, the heat not just setting flame to his inside but it was everywhere. Paul was grateful she had been with him when this cluster fuck had happened. If he had been around a beta they wouldn’t have been as prepared to help him. It had been a shit show if an alpha had been helping him or had run across them in the hall.  

“There is water in the fridge,” Her room was laid out a lot like a hotel, like most of the living quarters in the building, “Even some food.”

“Not going be here that long.” Paul managed to mumble. He planned that once the first wave of heat subsided for them to jump on Daryl bike and get the hell home. There was no way he was spending the next three days there.  

Frankie nodded in understanding then cleared her throat as she opened the top drawer of her bed side table. She left it open as she muttered, “There are condoms in there, the kind made for alphas.”

Paul almost shook his head, almost told her how they didn’t use protection but he stopped himself and settled on a husked, “Thanks.”  

Before she could speak again the door swung open, Laura stumbling in with the force of Daryl charging in behind her with Rosita on his tail. The alpha looked frantic, both from worry and Paul’s scent that was even filling the hallway. Paul whined at the sight of him and the rough sound that came from deep in Daryl’s chest had the women scrambling out of the room, locking the door behind them.

---------------------------

Daryl’s blood felt like it was boiling as he took in the sight of Paul hunched on the bed. His face was flushed, pupils dilated and sweat had his hair sticking to his neck. He was stripped down to just his pants and shirt, to aid in easing his pain and because Frankie knew Daryl would need the easiest access possible.  

Paul wasn’t in the worst of his heat, the first and last few were always the calmest. It wouldn’t be until the next day that Paul would be little more than a begging soaked mess and Daryl’s rut would be so strong he wouldn't be able to do anything but please him. He knew once this wave was over they were getting the hell out of there.  

“Daryl...” Paul gasped, reaching up to try and push his hair off his damp face.  

Daryl was across the room in three strides, ripping his knife holsters off and letting them thud to the floor. Then he was hauling Paul up from the bed and kissing him hard. Paul moaning into his mouth, gripping his vest to shove it off his shoulders. Daryl grabbing the hem of his shirt, parting from his bruising lips long enough to yank the garment off and toss it to the floor.  

Paul’s hands trembled as he got Daryl’s shirt open but left it on, moving next to work on his belt. Daryl wasn’t going to argue with Paul’s hurry, he was ready to get his omega home as quickly as possible. Daryl pushed Paul’s pants off his hip, the cargoes not stained with any slick yet.  

Daryl’s hands slid over Paul’s ass as he shoved his briefs off. They were a bit damp but thankfully not soaked. Paul gripped Daryl’s waist as he kicked his underwear aside. Daryl groaned softly as Paul got his zipper shoved down and pushed his pants down enough that his dick snapped free.  

Paul let out a small squeak as Daryl tossed him back on the bed. Paul arched his back as he drew his legs up to lull open. Not bothering to move around to lay his head on the pillow, content where he was as Daryl stepped between his thighs.  

Daryl had to catch his breath as he looked over Paul. Thighs trembling slightly, cock swollen against his belly and already dripping but it wasn’t the part of him that needed the most attention. Daryl ran his hand down Paul’s aching belly, feeling it twitch from his touch.  

Paul gasping as his fingertips grazed over his dick down his balls, slick already starting to drip down his ass onto the bed as Daryl finally reached his hole. Paul’s back bowed up even further, heading thrown back as he nearly screamed from the touch, it was so good but not enough.  

“So wet already, need me that bad, darlin’?” Daryl leaned over him, rest with his hand next to Paul’s head as he kissed over his sweaty temple. Paul could barely nod before Daryl’s finger slipped inside him.

Paul’s hands grabbed Daryl’s shoulders, thighs falling even wider around Dary as he panted, “More, need you, Daryl. Please, hurry.”  

Daryl kissed his quivering lips; his eyes having gone glassy with both pleasure and pain. Paul whining as he sucked Daryl’s tongue into his mouth, Daryl easing a second finger in. Paul was so wet, slick thick and body so relaxed under him Daryl knew he could possibly thrust right in. It would hurt though, just a little from the first stretch and Daryl didn’t like to do that.  

When Daryl added a third finger Paul groaned but it was more in frustration as he sat up and nearly knocked Daryl off him. He gripped the back of Daryl’s head as his other hand slapped around the bed side table. When he leaned back Daryl almost moaned at the way Paul glared at him.

“Stop teasing and fuck me,” Paul held up a condom between them, gripping the corner with his teeth and ripping it open, “Before I flip us over and take matters into my own hands.”

Daryl almost liked that idea but he stared at the condom, they hadn’t used them in so long now. Daryl raised his brow at it, hoping Paul couldn’t see what was going on in his head. He didn’t know if he could handle the thought that Paul had changed his mind about wanting to have a child with him.  

Paul, of course, did see that, even with his mind in a haze of heat he could read Daryl like a book. Paul kissed his cheek, reaching down to stroke Daryl’s aching dick and slipping the condom on. He nuzzled his beard against Daryl’s jaw as he husked, “When I get pregnant, I don’t want it to happen here, babe. I want you to breed me, when we get home. Not here.”  

Daryl actually sighed as he nodded, kissing Paul deep before shoving him back on the bed. Paul falling back with a smile as Daryl ran the tip of his cock over his drenched hole. Paul reached up, gripping the sheets above his head as Daryl pushed inside.

Paul moaned, so loud in the small room but Daryl wanted him to do it more. He watched Paul’s face as he eased inside. Saw how his mouth fell open with each breath, it was like he was in pain but the way his cocked dripped over his stomach proved it was pleasure.  

Paul felt so full when Daryl was fulling inside him, not just the stretch of his hole but the hollow ache in his gut eased just a bit. He knew it would fade once he had Daryl’s knot, for a little bit at least and more than enough time to get the hell away from the Sanctuary.  

Daryl leaned down, nipping at Paul’s throat that he bared on instinct. His hips taking up a hard, deep pace, one that always got both of them off in no time. It hit Paul’s prostate perfectly, making him go so deliciously tight around Daryl.  

“Oh, god, Daryl, that’s so good,” Paul whined as he arched into Daryl’s thrusts, thighs gripping him tight and one hand coming up to hold into the back of his neck, “You’re so good, babe.”  

Daryl moaned at the praise as he slammed into Paul, leaving dark marks on his throat. Daryl leaned back, shaking his sweaty bangs out of his eyes, “Yer so gorgeous, so damn perfect, Paul.”  

Paul whimpered making Daryl move even harder. Paul could feel his orgasm bubbling just under the surface, like it was waiting, waiting for that last little push. Paul almost sobbed when Daryl’s hand ran over his stomach, pressing down where the ache to be filled was the worst. Paul’s own hand slapped down over his as he cried out, “Please, please, please knot me.”  

It was like on Paul’s command that Daryl felt the first jolt, almost like pain but it was so good as his knot grew. Just another few thrusts before Daryl couldn’t pull out, his knot keeping him inside as his orgasm hit him like a punch.  

Paul’s mouth opening in a silent scream as he came between them. The stretch not hurting but the aching emptiness inside fading for now as Daryl filled the condom. Paul’s come splattering up over their hands, that stayed just a moment more now rubbing at Paul’s belly.  

Daryl collapsed, his orgasm still running through him and Paul wrapped his arms around him tightly. Daryl’s bulk not too much for him to take as he kissed his cheek and jaw. Daryl nuzzled at Paul’s throat, just catching his breath, “Can’t wait to get ya home and come in ya fer real.”

Paul hummed at the words, “I think I want that a lot more than you do, you have no idea.”  

Daryl managed to get his elbows under him, his knot would still take a bit more time to deflate but they were happy to stay like this. He brushed Paul’s hair off his face, rubbing his thumb over his bearded cheek, “Do ya know how bad I want ya pregnant?”  

Paul’s face had cooled some as his heat settled back for the time being but his cheek bones colored just a bit pink. Sex always made Daryl’s tongue loosen up, made it easier for him to be open and honest, “How bad, babe?”  

Daryl’s thumb kept up its soothing motion as he rest his forehead on Paul’s, “So fucking bad. Want to see ya all big and round, yer going to be so beautiful but it’s more than that.”  

Paul’s hands buried in Daryl’s hair so he wouldn’t move, his eyes clear of the haze of heat but desperation still in them, “Tell me. Don’t stop, keep talking.”  

Daryl’s face was flushed but he was smiling, “Want a baby with yer eyes and all that hair. Gonna be a lil badass just like its daddy. Can’t wait to see it.”

Paul kissed Daryl gently, nuzzling his nose as he whispered, “It needs your smile and sweet personality, then it will be perfect, just like its papa.”  

Daryl could feel that his knot was gone but he stayed inside just a moment more as he breathed the same air as Paul, “Love ya, Paul.”

“I love you,” Paul kissed up his jaw, “Now take me home and let’s make this baby.”  

Daryl nodded before carefully pulling out and dragging them both off the bed. Paul grimacing as Daryl removed the condom and dropped it on the floor. He didn’t bother to pick it up, though he would apologize to Frankie for that and the wreck they left her bed next time he saw her outside of his heat.  

They haphazardly pulled their clothes back on, the room still stinking with sex and heat as they left. Rosita had been in the hall, face impassive for the noises she had to have heard. She just gave them a salute as they hurried down the hall and out of the building. They didn’t have long before the next wave of Paul’s heat would hit.

Daryl saw Frankie by his bike, giving her a nod of thanks as Paul waved sheepishly as her as they climbed on. She just smiled at them as Daryl started his bike and tore out of the gate. Leaving the Sanctuary behind him where it belonged and speeding to Hilltop, where they belonged.

-----------------------------

Paul couldn’t believe he was doing this. It was stupid as his foot bounced on the linoleum floor as he sat on the edge of the tub.  

Daryl hadn’t noticed that Paul’s heat was late, not that two days was that late. Paul wasn’t always perfectly regular, but when Daryl hadn’t started to show signed of rut the week before Paul had noticed. Daryl still wasn’t showing any signs and Paul’s heat would have usually started by now.  

Paul jumped as the small, chicken shaped kitchen timer in his hand went off. Paul sighed as it twisted it to stop the ringing. He steeled his nerves, he was a grown man and stood up. He picked up the plastic stick off the sink counter and looked at it.

Paul felt his fingers trembled as he pressed them to his mouth. A huge ever crooked smile behind it as he stared at two clear pink lines, “Holy shit.”  

[copperbora]

Concept Writing - Kit at the Vet

Heyo, beautifuls! I thought I’d share this piece, which is a concept for a maybe future story. Note that there’s certain elements which I’m not happy with - wolves are so overdone in shape shifting genre - but it’s still a great start and I hope that you enjoy it. 

Kit at the Vet By Rosanna P. Brost October 26th 2017

A kind, animal loving woman is sobbing. She has brown eyes, curly black hair and her husband is as bald as a baseball, with a voluminous moustache capable of winning best in show in any facial hair competition. He sits with one arm around her, consoling her and using his other hand to pet the strawberry blonde and grey dog laying at their feet. Despite the blood matted in the dog’s fur on one hind leg, it appears to be mildly annoyed, as does the receptionist who is sitting at the clinic’s counter. The waiting room is painted a soothing green, the floor is honeyed wood and the dog is really wishing that she could do something about the leash in the lady’s hand, which is so inconveniently attached to her neck, which the man won’t stop touching.

The dog is me and I am not a dog at all but a wolf but I’m also not that either, because I am actually Aurora Peters, Homo sapiens. These schmucks who have brought me in to Pleasant Hill Veterinary Practice are just two more in an annoyingly long line of idiots who apparently can’t read the ‘if found injured, please admit to hospital, not vet’ tag on my collar, or my name, or my mom’s phone number or even my home address. Instead, they’ve all taken me to the vet and it’s only stupid luck that there is only one veterinary practice in town for them to come to. Everyone here knows me, right down to the Russian Blue greeter cat, who has just come to say hi, but Jacob Hars, my well-meaning benefactor, rudely shoos her away. Luna gives a dissatisfied brrrt and wanders off, tail waving in the air, passing Doctor Hank Johnson as he steps out with a clip board. I meet his eyes and we share a moment of shared disgruntlement, then he greets my benefactors, the Hars, who tearily declare the usual.

“Doctor, we think she was hit by a car -”

“Her owners should know better than to let her roam!”

“There’s no name on her collar at all -”

“Doctor, if her people don’t want her, we’ll take her! She’s a beautiful animal!”

“I am truly grateful for your concern for this animal, Mister and Missus Hars,” says Hank charitably, “but I assure you, Kit has a good home and we have her on record. She’s just got a nasty little habit of jumping fences, that’s all.”

The Hars gasp and complain a bit more, but eventually Hank chivvies them out, the receptionist Tanja assuring them that they really do know me, then Hank pulls me into the back room with one of the clinic’s leashes. The moment that we’re through the door and out of sight of the waiting room he unclips the leash from my collar and glares at me. Despite the fact that he’s one tall dude, colour me uninspired - after all, there’s rainbow tabby cats all over his scrubs and he wears a bowtie decorated with paw prints. Plus, he’s like family to me, almost a second father; we even celebrate Christmas together every year and I gave him a birthday present just last week. (An obnoxiously lurid set of new scrubs, of course.)

“Kitsune, you gotta stop getting yourself into so much trouble,” says Hank crossly. “What’d you even do to yourself, girl?”

With some effort, because doing so opposes my current cute ‘n fluffy form, I speak, “I got caught in a barbed wire fence. It was rather against letting me continue on my merry way.”

He rolls his eyes. “You know, there are safer ways of practicing your bloody shape shifting! Couldn’t you have waited for shutzhund tomorrow?”

Ahh, shutzhund. Some girls have volleyball, some girls have jogging and then there’s freaks like me who compete in the lovely German dog sport of mauling guys in heavily padded protective suits - as a dog. My team mate is even a real dog, Hank’s champion Russian bred German Shepherd Vlad, (who, if you’re wondering, does indeed kick my ass at Shutzhund.) Hank got me into it because he figured that since I insist on moving around on all fours and pretending more or less to be canine, I needed to learn how to defend myself that way. Thus far, it has helped me learn how to bark convincingly, which has proven incredibly entertaining.

“Work was so boring, I needed to go out for a run,” I say, extending my hind leg and wincing at the shallow gash in it. “Good thing I’ve had my tetanus shot, eh?”

“Aurora Peters, what season is it?” demands Hank, crossing his arms.

“Fall…?” I say, cocking my head to signal my what-are-you-getting-at because honestly I have no idea why he is asking this dumb question.

“Yes, it’s Fall - hunting season, Aurora! The time of year when a bunch of idiots with guns who don’t know a deer from a shadow are running around our fields and forests looking for wildlife to put bullets in! And what are you, currently, woman?” he snarks. 

I glance at myself, then bare my teeth in a smirk which I have been perfecting in front of my mirror. “Gorgeous.”

Hank looks heavenward, as if asking God for help with bettering my youthful lack of brain cells. “A wolf! And if they don’t mistake you for a wolf, which lots of idiots hate, they’ll mistake you for a bloody flaming coyote, which people hate even more! Do you want a bullet in your brain, woman? ‘cus I can’t fix that!”

He likes calling me ‘woman’ - it’s as if he’s trying to remind me that I am actually a human, a fact which I am quite painfully aware of, thank you. 

“Not particularly,” I say, “but I wasn’t really in a field -”

“It don’t matter!” snaps Hank. “Kitsune, you gotta stay in town right now! And wear a bloody reflective vest, you ninny - emulate dog instead of arrooo.”

I sniff, “I wear it when I am hiking, but I need someone to put it on for me and I was alone, so -”

“Couldn’t you have stopped by here? Or gotten Rick, anybody to put it on for you?”

I look at him blankly, silently admitting: this would have been smart.

“But I’m alone tonight, so how the heck would I get it off afterwards?” I ask shrewdly.

Cue another eye roll. “You come by here and I’d take it off for you, you know I’m here for another hour. Kit, why can’t you have a weekday hobby? Why do you have to spend every spare minute you have running naked around town?”

He’s right, actually; if I were to transform right now, I would be naked, a fact which many townspeople have witnessed, thanks to the first time that I was hit by a bicycle (bikes are my nemesis) and the good Samaritan cyclist tried to help me. When I spoke up to say that I had just been stunned and was fine, the cyclist had fainted. Me, being kind of an idiot, had transformed back to perform CPR if needed, thinking they were in cardiac arrest - and at that moment, a long line of kindergartners had walked past the park where we were with their teacher on the way to the pool, the kids discovering quite abruptly what boobs look like. I had been unable to concentrate enough to change back, so I had ran streaking for home, only for my embarrassment to become truly complete by the police officer who had stopped by to write me a ticket for public indecency that evening. It had not ended there - for weeks I had had the parents of the kindergartners being terribly rude to me and that was about the time when I opted to spend the rest of my secondary education at home. 

“Well, since you were dumb and forgot to bring by another set of clothes for circumstances like this from the last time that you swore you wouldn’t show up here like this, you can spend the rest of my shift hanging out with Vlad until I can drive you home,” determined Hank and he herded me into his office, where Vlad was quite happy to slobber all over my face. Tail clamped between my hindquarters to thwart Vlad’s mundane yet cherished canine hobby of butt sniffing, I turned back to the door, just as Hank was about to shut it. His eyebrows shunted low over his dark eyes and I nervously laid back my ears.

“Y’know, Kit, someday this shape shifting nonsense is going to get you into some real trouble, and I might not be there to help,” said Hank and with these forbidding words, he walks off, cheerfully calling a greeting to his next, real patient.

Unfortunately, he repeats this warning in some format every time I end up at his clinic on four legs - after all, that’s how we first met - so I don’t really listen to him. Instead, I proceed to horse around with Vlad.

Like an idiot.

[ocegion]

95 regan??

“Negan, would you do me the fucking favor of having common sense?”

Rick finished shoving Negan into the RV and followed him, firmly shutting the door behind him. As soon he did it, they started hearing clawing on the other side, useless but unnerving. Clawing of walkers that were chasing them because Negan had been stupid and made noise like he did every single second of his existence and drawn them in. And Rick had had to get Negan out of the mess and it had almost ended up bad for either or both of them.

Negan’s eyes were wide, he looked pale and thrown off his game for the first time since Rick met him. Within a moment, though, he shook it off and then he gave a low, long whistle, after which he started to laugh. “Damn, Rick! That was a close one, wasn’t it? I almost thought I’d go out without a last bang.”

Negan kept laughing and Rick’s eyebrow twitched. Before he realized what he was doing, he had his hand on Negan’s neck, slamming him into the wall, and laughter was suddenly the last thing on the man’s mind. Rick grunted and grit his teeth.

“You think this is funny, asshole? You almost got yourself killed, for God’s sake, you’d be a chew toy right now without me. This is something serious to some of us, I’d appreciate it if you started taking it seriously too.”Rick was almost sure that his little moment of impulsiveness was about to trigger something in Negan he really didn’t want to face, but he was faced with the man blinking slowly and tilting his head to the side like a puppy, his expression full of genuine puzzlement.

“Wait a fucking second, Rick. I might be reading this wrong, because this looks like you’re concerned about me? But ice king Rick Grimes can’t possibly be afraid of losing little old me, now can he?”Rick huffed through his nose, and after a moment, he let Negan go. “Don’t flatter yourself. If you end up dead, your saviors blame me and kill my people, simple as that. I don’t give a shit if you live or you die” he grunted, heading to the front seat to get the vehicle moving before too many walkers gathered on front of it. He started driving, and then it was silence for a few minutes.

Negan silently dragged himself to the passenger side, looking at Rick out the corner of his eye for a long moment. “Bullshit” he said, as if the conversation had never been interrupted. “It was only a handful of them, I could handle it just fine. I’m a pain in the ass, I’m aware, but I’m a competent pain in the ass. You know that. I wouldn’t have gotten chewed in there, at most a bite to the hand or something, something I can amputate if it comes down to it. Not the prettiest idea, for sure, but even if I couldn’t that’d buy us enough time to get home and tell those shitheads I got brought this upon my-damn-self.”The only response Negan got was a grunt, and therefore, always in search of filling the air with words, Negan continued. “They’re not dumb, Rick. Well, most of them are, to be fucking honest, but not that much. If I come in and tell them it’s not your fault, they’re not likely to put it on you once I’m in heaven surrounded by pussy.”“You’re not going to heaven.”“Brilliant point, ten points to Gryffindor. Still, you’re not answering, Rick” Negan hummed, drawing Rick’s name along in a singsong-like tone.

Rick sighed and stopped the RV. They had put enough distance between the walkers and themselves, and they still had a handful hours to make the most of before they had to go back. He turned to Negan, eyebrow raised and arm hanging off the back of the seat.

“You know damn well that it wouldn’t be the first time you punish someone for something they haven’t done.”“Ah, but every time I punish someone, someone has done shit to earn it. It just so happens that if punishment falls on some other fucker’s head, it drives the point home better, you know? Like a well-lubed didlo. Funny the things you realize when you need to keep a bunch of shitheads in line.” Negan laughed, handwaved the whole thing away. “But here? No one to blame but me, if my knight in grimey armor hadn’t come in in time. You know that, prick, you know how I do things, you know how my head works. You know it all has a pattern, even if you’re too fucking uptight to admit it. Which drives us to the point that there was a chance of you seeing me dead without having to face the consequences and you still chose to save me. And that brings us back to you being concerned with my wellbeing.”

Rick stared at Negan’s dentist-advertisement smile, gaping for words he didn’t find. He grunted after giving up and stood up.

“If you’re done being delusional, I actually kind of need to bring supplies home.”“Oh no, no you don’t. You’re not walking out from out little heart-to-heart, you jerk. That’s an ugly thing to do.”

Almost simultaneous to Rick standing up, Negan did the same, and within a moment he had his hand on Rick’s chest, shoving him against a wall. Rick glared, jaw tense and nostrils wide, while Negan just made an interested hum in the back of his throat.

“Let’s face the facts, Rick, you like me. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I’m the fucking shit.”

“Why the hell would I like you? Far as I’m concerned, you should have been someone’s lunch the day all this started.”Rick’s words were dry and bitter. Negan didn’t seem to be offended by them.

“Don’t worry, I don’t doubt that you used to think so. Nowadays, though? C’mon, man, give me something. Too many picnics out here together, too much of my fucking delightful presence. You gotta like me, just a little bit. C’mon, Ricky boy, it’s ok.”

Rick held Negan’s mirth-filled eyes, and after trying and failing to get the man to let him go, he grumbled, setting his gaze aside to not have to look at him.

“You can be slightly amusing sometimes.”

“Oh, baby, you sure do know how to make a guy feel special.”

Rick ignored the genuinely thrilled sound on Negan’s words and just shoved his hand aside, and this time the man allowed it. Rick got his gun, checked everything, and opened the door of the vehicle, not bothering to look back at the man.

“So” Negan said once he had caught up with him, timing his steps so he was walking at the exact same pace as Rick, “how about I save you this time and we end up making out?”God, this was gonna be a long run.

[porkchop-ao3]

Can I request something angsty for rick j19z7? Something where he gets upset with you and idk makes you sleep on the couch? Anything really? Just something angsty that maybe leads to fluff? 🧡

Well, at first this request really scared me because I couldn’t possibly imagine how pure, lovely J19Z7 and angst could mix… But then I started writing and got really carried away and had so much fun with this. I liked to explore the idea that Doofus Rick still has regular-Rick traits deep down inside, only he’s less inclined to let them out and well… In this fic he does. I know you didn’t ask for smut but… Yeah. It led to smut. It’s pretty long, over 3K, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The world seemed to slow down for a moment as I watched the heavy, high-tech object slip out of my hands, and make its descent to the concrete floor of the garage. When it hit, bits and pieces flew out in every direction, a horrible, clunking, cracking sound filling the room. My mouth went dry and my eyes widened, and I immediately looked up at Rick sitting at his desk on the other side of the room. His shoulders hunched and he flinched at the sound. He slowly swivelled in his chair, an unreadable expression crossing over his features as his eyes met the broken gadget on the ground.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Rick! I just picked it up to look at it and it… it just slipped out of my hands.” I rushed to amend my actions, dropping to my knees and gathering up the broken parts, futilely trying to guess where they went, somehow hoping to fix it.

“That’s my Hadroneutronic Fleurific Converter.” He said in a small voice, rising to his feet and striding over. He didn’t even look at me as he took it from my hands, carrying it back over to the desk to inspect the damage.

“What does it do?” I asked meekly, not moving from my spot on the floor.

“M-more like what did it do. It’s completely dead. The neutronic regulator is shattered.” He told me, and it was one of the rare occasions that he actually sounded irritated.

“I’m so sorry, Rick. I didn’t mean to.” I said, rising to my feet, feeling guilty and sick.

“Of course you didn’t mean to, but you still-” he started in a snappy tone before halting himself, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay. Accidents happen.” He amended, but it sounded forced.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No. Just… just sit down somewhere and d-don’t touch anything else. Please.” He sighed, turning and looking around on the floor. “I might be able to fix it if the Blurthro clip is still intact, that’s what makes it-”

Crunch.

I wanted to die right then and there. I wanted god to smite me down at that precise moment in time, because of course, that electronic component under my foot couldn’t have been anything other than the Blurthro clip, could it? I winced and paused mid-step towards the garage door, turning my head slowly to look at Rick. He twitched a little, his eyes fixated on the object under my big fucking stupid baby elephant foot.

“GOD. FUCKING. DAMN IT.” He exploded, slamming his hands on the desk as he stood up with a force that sent his chair tipping back and clattering to the ground. He stepped over it with long slender legs, marching over to me and grabbing my wrist. He manhandled me out of the way before snatching the component off of the ground and groaning in annoyance. “Can you- why can’t you just use your eyes? Or even better, your brain!” He shouted, and I could see in his eyes that something had snapped.

I stared slack jawed at the man in front of me, suddenly unable to see J19Z7, instead all I saw was every other Rick. Angry. Nasty.

“Do you know how hard it was to get hold of this? It cost me forty thousand flurbos!” He exclaimed, holding the thing right in front of my face. “Which, in case you’re too dumb to realise, is a lot.”

I gasped, recoiling at his words.

“God. Why is everyone so- and they call me the Doofus! They think I’m so stupid! But they all just love you, don’t they? Every time we go to the Citadel they’re all kissing your ass, aren’t they? Jus- just cause you’ve got a nice body and a pretty face, but they don’t see just how… how inept you can be. Unable to follow simple instructions.” He seethed, letting it all pour out. I stood there and took it, crossing my arms over my chest, refusing to let my tears become any more than just a little moisture in my eyes.  “You-you’re always in here, touching my things, asking me questions that you’re never gonna be able to comprehend the answer to. You’re pretty and you’re nice but there’s no point in trying to explain anything to you.”

“I never claimed to be as smart as you, I’m just interested in what you do.” I said monotonously. “And I can comprehend the answers to my questions, I at least get the gist of most of the things you say. I’m not completely brain dead.” Rick’s expression seemed to soften, and I caught a glimpse of the Rick I fell in love with, rather than the monster that had just reared its ugly head. The parts of him that were intrinsically there simply because he was a Rick, the parts of him that he kept under control, that he didn’t usually let get the better of him.

I turned away from him and left the garage, making my way through the house towards our bedroom. I threw myself face down onto the bed, and let it all go. I cried and shook and sobbed. This is not what I signed up for. J19Z7 was not like that. He was kind, sweet, understanding, forgiving. He wasn’t angry or mean, and he didn’t have the superiority complex that most other Rick’s had. He never spoke down to me or insinuated that I was stupid. He was better than that. I hated that I’d caught a glimpse of what he kept buried, something had obviously snapped in him, he had reached the end of his tether with me and had obviously needed to vent for quite some time. I wanted the memory of him yelling gone from my head, it was the only time I’d ever seen him get genuinely angry. It just wasn’t an emotion he usually shared. Maybe that was the problem; maybe I pissed him off on a regular basis and he’d been bottling it up. Maybe I’d just witnessed that bottle over flowing, unable to hold any more of my ineptitudes.

Hours passed and I just laid there. Replaying the situation over and over in my head, analysing every word and every expression, trying to figure out whether he actually meant it or not. But Rick wasn’t the type to say nasty things out of spite, if he said something unpleasant then it was a big deal, and likely that he really meant it. That’s what made my stomach churn. Rick really did think I was dumb. He really did get annoyed with me asking so many questions and picking up his inventions out of curiosity. And it was sad, because those were some of my favorite memories with him. Just him talking to me, explaining things to me in a way that I could get, having an answer to every question. I’d learnt so much being with Rick, and it hurt a lot to know that he didn’t particularly like being my teacher.

I heard the bedroom door open. I tensed up, not quite ready to see his face or hear his voice again. Scared that he was about to call it quits, tell me to pack my shit and move back in with my parents because he was sick of putting up with me. Another sob rocked me at the thought. Rather than speak, however, Rick put his hands on my shoulders, pulling me up and turning me around. I didn’t get a good look at him before I was buried in his chest, and his hands were rubbing big circles in my back. I just lay there limply, slightly stunned, and I heard him sniffle. My heart gave a chilling throb at the sound.

“I’m s-s-so so sorry, (y/n).” He said. His voice was small, fragile and thick with emotion. He was quite clearly crying, and by the sounds of it, had been for a while. “I-I-I’m no better than the rest of them. I’m just as nasty and awful. I will understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after this, but I had to come and apologise you.”

“Rick, you’re not nasty and awful.” I murmured into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him tight.

“I’m not looking for comfort or reassurance, I’m being honest. I-I let my anger get the better of me and I was unforgivably horrible to you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he told me, taking in stuttered, jerky breaths between words. “I try so hard to keep that side of me locked away, b-but sometimes it just comes out around the people I love, who deserve it the least.

“You aren’t dumb, and you aren’t inept. You’re smart and beautiful and I love having you around, I love telling you things about my inventions, I love that you’re curious and you want to learn. But sometimes… despite myself, I get annoyed when you don’t understand something, or you do the wrong thing or- or make a mistake. I try to be understanding, because I hate that I feel so unreasonably irritated, because you don’t deserve it. It’s okay to not understand something, it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re human just like me, and sometimes I come across things that baffle me and I just can’t wrap my head around them. You don’t get angry with me, even when I come to bed at four in the morning after trying to figure something out, and wake you up. You don’t get mad when I go days in a row without devoting time to you, without kissing you and holding you like I should do everyday. You’re so lovely and understanding and I hate that I’m not like that all the time. I have these horrible thoughts that I just can’t stop, and they all came out today, and I can’t say sorry enough.”

His admission warmed me, and I understood every word. Things were clear to me, and I couldn’t find it in me to hold a grudge. I’d forgiven him, just like that. I loosened my grip on him and looked up at his face, reaching my hands out to wipe away the tears on his cheeks.

“It’s okay, Rick. I understand where you’re coming from. It’s not intrinsically bad that you feel annoyance, it’s natural. It’s the fact that you don’t always take those emotions out on the people around you, that sets you apart from the other Rick’s.”

“I don’t want to ever take my emotions out on you though, an-and I failed.”

“That wasn’t a failure, that was human. I forgive you, no harm done.” I reassured him, cupping his face and offering a little smile.

“It did do harm. You’ve been crying, I made you cry, (y/n). I don’t ever want to do that.” He whispered, his eyes filling again. I pushed forward and kissed him, and he sobbed behind my lips. I pushed him back onto the bed, laying down on top of him. Rick soon calmed down, returning the kiss with as much passion as he could muster. I parted my legs and straddled him, lining our hips up and pushing my groin into his. He let loose a strangled sound, and broke the kiss. “W-wait, this is- you’re making me-” he cut himself off, turning red.

“Making you hard?” I asked, feeling him grow between my legs. He nodded and gulped. “That’s the idea.” I leaned down to whisper in his ear, nibbling on an earlobe quickly after.

“Wh- you want to do this right now? After I said those things?” He asked, looking stunned. I rocked against him, and despite himself, he moved with me.

“Yes. This could be a good way to make up.” I told him between kisses to his neck.

“Ah, ahh- But I don’t d-deserve it.” He mewled, but his hips betrayed him, grinding faster against me. I sighed softly closing my eyes and getting lost in the sensation.

“You don’t have to deserve it. I want it. Are you going to deny me because you feel guilty?” I asked, looking down at him. He paused for a while, before finally shaking his head. “Good boy.” I smiled, shocking myself. Where the hell did that come from? Rick’s lips parted slightly, and he flushed deeper.

Rick seemed to gain a rush of confidence, sliding his hands down my body to my pants, unbuttoning them quickly and slipping his hand inside. He rubbed me quickly, trapping my clit between his index and middle finger as he stroked them in circles. My reaction was immediate, I rolled my head back and gasped shakily, tilting my hips so I ground my ass against his hard on, while giving him better access.

“Is… is that nice, beautiful?” He asked, his voice lowering with arousal. I nodded eagerly. I could feel my underwear dampening at an almost alarming rate, and got to work undressing, needing more. I pulled my top off and tossed it to the floor, my bra joining it immediately after. Rick moaned softly at the sight of my bare breasts, bringing his free hand up to play with them. He squeezed them gently one by one, rolling each nipple between his fingers.

“So good… so good.” I breathed, whining under the unrelenting stimulation. I involuntarily picked up the pace of my hips, Rick’s cock rubbing between the cleft of my ass, I looked down and noticed a dark patch forming on his pants. I licked my lips and gorged on the sight, revelling in how worked up I was getting him. Rick’s noises got louder, more frantic, and suddenly he grabbed my hip to halt me.

“St-stop, I’m gonna-” he gasped, his body shuddering beneath me as he struggled to gain back his control. “That was close.” He said sheepishly, out of breath.

“I need you inside me. Now.” I told him, and he nodded in eager agreement. I pushed his lab coat off of his shoulders and removed his shirt, taking a moment to stroke my hands over his chest, and press a few kisses into his collarbone. He took control, a somewhat rare occurrence, and rolled me off of him to lay on the bed beside him. He hooked his fingers in my pants and finished undressing me, letting his eyes roll over my naked form in appreciation. I couldn’t take my eyes off the tent in his pants. Rick was big, a lot bigger than one would imagine given his build, and I was embarrassingly needy for him. I reached for him, cupping his arousal and having a self indulgent grope. We groaned in unison, and I unbuttoned his pants and tugged them down, freeing his erection and watching it bob in the air, flushed and glistening with precum.

“Are you ready?” He asked me, coming up to kneel between my legs, placing his hands under my knees and pushing them upwards. I loved it when he moved me, positioned me, handled me. It was something I wish he did more often.

“Yes… please. I need you.” I said, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt and failing miserably. He was merciful, and lined up at my entrance without hesitation, pushing forwards slowly. There was always that initial sting, being stretched open by his generous girth, but once he was settled, that sweet sweet pleasure emerged.

“Oh my g- ahh. I’m worried I'm… I think I’m gonna cum too soon. You’re so tight.” He admitted, his head hanging low as he stared at where we were joined. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You won’t.” I assured him, his admission doing nothing but arouse me further. He took a few deep breaths, his face scrunching in concentration, before he started to move. His thrusts were cautious at first, slow and gentle, and they created tingly little bursts of pleasure that built and built, every one rubbing against my g-spot.

“Uhnn, uhh, oh God. So good, you’re so perfect.” He told me breathlessly, his pace increasing.

He would fuck me in waves, thrusting fast and hard for a while, bringing me right up the the brink, before slowing, grinding against my clit and giving me a moment to catch my breath. He did this over and over, edging us both until I was a shaky, sweaty mess with a pounding heart, on the brink of orgasm. Rick never rushed sex. It was always drawn out, built up slowly, every moment was savoured and prolonged. At times it was torturous, but it was worth it when it reached a certain point, and it all felt so good, so intense, it was almost like every thrust was a mini orgasm itself. I felt like I was constantly coming yet teetering on the edge at the same time, I was practically incoherent, able to do nothing but pant and groan, whining every time my climax built only to be washed away by the stalling of Rick’s hips. I nearly came when his cock twitched inside me, it throbbed against my g-spot as it filled me with another load of precum. Things were so slick down there and at this point I didn’t know who was the most responsible.

I stared up at Rick, who’s eyes were lidded, almost closed, yet he was still watching me. Hair clung to his forehead with sweat, and I knew I was in the same state. He leaned down and kissed me, squeezing my breast with the hand that wasn’t holding him up beside my head. Another wave came, and he thrust hard and fast, grunting and groaning against my mouth, building me up and up to my climax for the umpteenth time that day. I was waiting for him to slow, expecting that pleasurable drop in the pit of my stomach when my orgasm was robbed, the low spread of tingles as the friction suddenly stopped. But it didn’t come. He kept going, faster, sloppier and more frantic. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead into mine, wailing loudly, his grip on my breast tightening.

We came together. A beautiful moment that Rick always seemed to manage to set up perfectly. He throbbed deep inside me, filling me with his seed and I pulsed around him, milking him of every drop. My eyes rolled back, and I swear I was close to blacking out with how intense it was, it was almost too much. Almost, but not quite. It seemed to go on forever, the ebb and flow of incredible pleasure, subsiding slowly, leaving in it’s wake absolute exhaustion. The room was filled with panting when he finally pulled out of me. I felt his cum leave my body, and I could tell that there was a lot of it. I didn’t give a shit about cleaning up, I was too spent. Rick laid down beside me, draping an arm over my tummy.

“I love you so much.” He told me, still breathless. “I promise I’ll never shout at you again. And if I break that promise you- you’re free to do whatever you want to me.”

“Let’s be rational Rick.” I chuckled, interlacing our fingers together. “Whatever I want? I’d probably just do this again.”

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

The Detour

Characters: Rick Grimes, Michonne, Daryl Dixon. Judith, Carl, Glenn and Maggie mentioned.

Pairing: Richonne

Warnings: Bickering, Poor Daryl - might have scared him for life, Dumbass Rick, Implied smut.    

Word Count: 2000ish

A/N: I have tried avoiding this for sooo long. I started watching The Walking Dead with @mysupernaturalfics a while back. Not knowing much about it but JDM is big bad Negan which I haven’t caught up to yet. Ever since Michonne came on I shipped Richonne sooo hard and last when they finally kissed my trashy ass broke and I saw @waywardmoeyy Awkward Moment challenge the day after. So here goes. My first Richonne AND my first TWD fic! I am messing with time a little. I am thinking this is pre Hilltop, but Rick and Michonne are together. I know this trip wouldn’t be possible to squeeze in but it is fanfiction so deal with it. :P

Thanks to @mysupernaturalfics for getting me stuck in a richonne hole but also for betaing for me.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

It had been a long few days out on the road, filled with nothing but bad luck at first. Rick, Michonne and Daryl had left to go scavenging for food, leaving Alexandria behind in Glenn and Maggie’s capable hands.

Daryl usually liked being out on the road and he had at first on this trip too. Nothing about this world was perfect but out here he felt as if he was making a difference. He was doing something that mattered. Daryl always felt a little claustrophobic being stuck in the town for too long. Being out on the road was a relief. Right up until Rick had started trying to impress Michonne, leading to one dumb accident after another. The latest being a ill advised shortcut which had gotten their van stuck for hours causing Michonne’s mood to turn sour fast.

In case you are wondering a woman’s mood really is contagious, at least when she spend those hours struggling to get the truck loose sassing her boyfriend, who bickered back just as frustrated with himself as she was with him.

Daryl was going crazy listening to them. He hadn’t bothered speaking much since his ill advised comment that he could leave them alone for an hour if they needed a lay. Daryl didn’t scare easy, but he had learned to shut up when Michonne gave him her sideways glare. He liked his head where it was, not on the ground, severed from his body by a sword and badass bitch.

Daryl grumbled under his breath when they finally managed to free the car, but not before Rick had covered both Michonne and Daryl in mud. Rick had floored the speeder, dragging the van from the pothole, while his girlfriend and best friend were still behind the car. Daryl had been less than pleased with the muddy shower but his mood was nothing compared to the fuming woman in the back of the van as the three of them headed back home.   

Rick felt horrible about everything that happened. He knew if he had just stayed on the planned track instead of having gone off road, they would never have had to detour around a herd of walkers. They wouldn’t have been stuck in a the hot van with a broken air conditioner for three days longer than planned and they certainly wouldn’t have gotten stuck.

The thing was he had wanted to make that detour because he remembered a location of a small out of sight candy store he had passed on vacation here years ago. He had hoped to surprise Michonne with it, but his plans hadn’t gone as he had hoped and instead of making her happy, she was now furious with him.

He could probably have calmed her, if his stubbornness would have allowed it. Actually he had tried a few times. He cracked jokes trying to make her smile, but instead he just kept getting insulted every time she snapped at him.

See the thing was, Michonne might have been annoyed by the weather and Rick’s dumbass decisions along with his inability to listen to reason at times. That however, didn’t change the fact the was in love with the schmuck. All the things about him that angered her in this very minute were things she admired in him. Just not in a million degree heat with the added humidity, running low on water, covered in mud, just because dumbass didn’t warn her and Daryl to move before flooring the gas.

She was drying herself off with an old rag she had found in the back of the van, trying to get the mud off herself before it got her even more uncomfortable than the unbearable Georgia heat was already making her, when Daryl’s outburst called her attention.

“What the hell?” Daryl pulled the van to a halt, before swearing loudly as him and Rick got out onto the road, quickly followed by Michonne. “Goddammit!”

The bridge in front of them had collapsed completely. There was no way to drive back over it or even to fix it on their own. They had no other choice but to find a way around it which Rick unnecessarily announced, making Michonne bite her tongue not to say something snarky.

“I can circle back for a bit, try and find a back road,” Rich suggested causing Michonne to snap at him this time.

“I really don’t trust your navigation skills. Remember last time? I’m still getting the sand out of my ears,” she sassed him, making Rick stop mid sentence to glare at her in annoyance. He wanted to tell her that detour had been for her and not himself, but with the way she was biting his head off every two seconds, he wasn’t sure he even wanted her to know.

“It’ll be faster to go through the woods,” Daryl drew their attention to him, breaking up their staring competition. Daryl flung his crossbow over his shoulder before looking back at the two lovebirds, he could honestly do without for a while.  “I’ll find away around. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Hold on, I’m coming with you,” Rick reached into the van to get his weapons, when Michonne objected.

“I’m not staying here alone. You got us into this mess. You guard the damn van,” Michonne hissed at Rick, who were just about to bite back at her when Daryl interrupted them.

“I’m not taking neither of ya. Better you be back here watching the van bitching at each other than one of you out there bitching at me about the other,” Daryl grumbled, ducking into the treeline, leaving a rather surprised Michonne and Rick behind.

The next 15 minutes or so was spent in silence, eating a bit of the food they had found for the town. Not much, just enough to keep their energy up. Both of them knew they were being ridiculous and both of them wanted to apologize for it. Their equal stubbornness, however, stopped them from doing so.

Instead, Rick got up quietly grabbing a few of the empty water bottles and stuffing them into a backpack, before heading towards the steep hill above the lake.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Michonne called after him, biting her tongue when she realized how condescending she had just sounded. The truth was she was more worried that anything right now. She didn’t like the three of them all being separated and she knew even if Rick stayed in her line of vision she couldn’t do much to help him from up here if someone or something should appear from the woods.  

“We need water and it’s right down there,” Rick answered without looking back at her. If he had he would have seen the worry in her eyes and stopped to comfort her. He didn’t so he continued on his mission, hoping that getting them all hydrated with relieve the tension between them a bit.

Rick managed to get down the hillside without breaking his neck, so that was a plus. The water also seemed to be clear and drinkable, which got him thinking his luck might have changed. That was right up until a hoard for around 20 walkers, appeared from the treeline. 6 bullets doesn’t do a whole lot against 20 walkers, especially not when you don’t want to fire off set bullets and draw more undead, hungry corpses your way.

Rick heard Michonne calling out for him as she made her way down the hill as fast as she could to help him. He didn’t have time to pay attention to her in that moment being too busy keeping the clabbering teeth off his flesh. He was doing pretty well for a while, until he lost his balance falling backwards into the lake and for a few seconds he thought that was it. He had hugged Carl goodbye before he left and he had kissed Judith. How things were with Michonne however haunted him. It was only for a split second but it felt like hours to him as their stupid fights replayed over and over in his head. Right up until her katana came into view, slicing through the skulls of the three walkers that were basically on top of him now. She tossed him his axe back, sending him a worried look and Rick gave her a quick nod letting her know he was okay. They were going to be okay.

Rick jumped up fighting side by side with her until all the walkers were properly dead. Before he knew it her arms were around his neck, knocking him off balance sending them both tumbling backwards into the lake. This time however Rick’s bad luck had them laughing and her smile only grew when he pulled back looking at her teasingly.

“You said you needed to get the sand out of your ears, didn’t you?” he grinned when she splashed him with water.

“And you needed a shower. You were starting to stink up the car,” Michonne sassed him back, making him laugh again as he tugged her closer.

“No. That would have been Daryl,” Rick grinned, kissing her before she could talk back at him. He smiled when she moaned into his kiss, before burying her face against his neck, letting him hug her.

“I remember a small candy store the town over. That’s why the detour,” Rick explained quietly as he held her close, enjoying the feel of her back in his arms. He had missed it more than his stubbornness had let him realize. “I was trying to surprise you,” Rick smiled when he saw how taken back with his words she appeared to be, but his smile quickly faded when she suddenly released herself from his embrace, starting to fill the water bottles.

“What are you doing?” he asked rather stupidly, making him wanna kick himself, but the feeling was short lasted since Michonne looked up at him from where she was kneeling with a grin on her face.

“I am finishing what you started and then we are going back to the van, so we can get out of these wet clothes,” she stated matter of factly, causing Rick to chuckle.

“You wanna get me out of my clothes huh?” he teased kneeling down next to her and she gave him a playful push, as she rolled her eyes.

“Shut up before I change my mind Rick,” she warned but there was no real threat behind her words. All her anger had long since left her and she needed a quiet moment with him as much as he did her.

***

When Daryl reached the van everything was quiet. Too quiet for his liking. There was no sight of Michonne or Rick anywhere, which only caused him to worry further. Daryl moved his crossbow from his back, holding it ready to fire at whatever might come his way as he slowly approached the van.

After a quick sweep around it, Daryl pulled the backdoors open in one swift movement. A movement he lived to regret seconds later as he was staring directly at Rick’s white ass and Michonne soft moaned filled his ears. Daryl closed his eyes as hard as he could, before kicking the door shut yelling at his two friend’s inside.

“Couldn’t you have left a sock on the door or something? Next time I am taking the bike,” he growled towards the door, trying desperately to forget the imagine of Rick’s ass but it seemed to be seared into his brain permanently.

Even with the horrifying, way to vivid memory playing in his mind, he couldn’t help but smile when he heard the two of them giggling inside the van. The two of them deserved a little happiness and brain strapping imagery aside Daryl was happy for them. It didn’t mean he still wasn’t taking the bike next time though.

Richonne Tag Team

@mysupernaturalfics @gracedolyn @grimesgirl26 @adriellej @blacktithe7

[succinct-assbutt]

I Think I Wanna Marry You (Part 8)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Wordcount: 2.9k

Read the previous parts here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6 , 7

Warnings: swearing, drunken angels (because who doesn’t love those)

Tagging:  @julibelen​ , @ilostmyshoe-79​ , @scamanders26newtcase​ , @g-c-falorraquideo​ , @the-rain-pours-down , @explorersinwonderland​ , @babyblues915​ ,  @rizlowwritessortof​ @adoringjensen​ , @peaceloveandplumbots​, @quixoticcat, @skymoonandstardust, @girliciousdreams, @captainbitchslap, @awkward–jay, @fandomlover03,  @daesunglg , @shamelesslydean, @casually-dying-rn, @destinyesser​,

Song: Bruno Mars - Marry You (Cover by The United)

[...well it’s a beautiful night, we looking for something dumb to do

Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you...]

                                                        ~*~*~

The reception marks the end of their successful week. Not just for Dean and Y/N, basking in their successful fraudulence at the bar, but for Y/N’s family, for her sister, a beautiful bride and even more beautiful wife who emanates joy the entire evening. In the ambient garden, they are all victorious, all celebrating by dancing and singing. Dean joins the dance because he’s no killjoy, he may be in a conflicting state of mind, but he’s here to have fun. Liquor sloshes in glasses, spills onto fine fabrics and cloths, is ignored—right now, that’s the last thing anyone would be thinking about. They celebrate and laugh. Turn the music up. Dance—by God, they dance, the two of them.

Dean and his friend, his giggly, clumsy friend, his grinning friend who at the moment has no sense of personal space. Not that he minds. Y/N’s hands slithering up his chest and caressing his arms only fuels the fire in his belly, and soon enough he forgets why he was even feeling glum to begin with. She is the Y/N whom he knows and loves, his Y/N, infinitely.

“To us and our success.” She declares with the raise of her glass. Dean mirrors her, lifting his drink. “We’re such BAMFS.”

“To the BAMFS.”

They toast and he downs his drinks twice as fast as she does, finishing it in three gulps. Dragging a hand across his mouth, he wipes away the remnants of cherry wine in his stubble, but his smile is irrefutable.

Sam scrunches his nose up from the pungent burn. “God, that is vile.”

“Want me to help you out?” Castiel then reaches across the bar and tries to take the glass, but Y/N stops him.

“No way,” She admonishes as the angel frowns. “Cas, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Angels can’t get drunk, Y/N.”

“Then explain why you’re talking to the tiki torch instead of me.” She counters with a smug grin and laughter erupts as Cas, bashful, quickly tips his head and looks down into his glass. Clapping him on the shoulder, Sam laughs then stands.

“Well, if you guys will excuse me,” He looks at Y/N and Dean, “I’m gonna head to the dance floor.”

“Who’s gonna watch Cas?”

“I don’t mind.” Dean pipes up absently, swallowing the last drops of his drink. He hisses at the bitterness. Not strong enough to get him drunk (yet), but intense nonetheless.

Y/N eyes him curiously. “Sure?”

“Why not? You two go have fun.” He waves her off and straightens out, bumping a few burps out of his chest. “I’ll join you later.” He insists.

And with twin smiles, the pair nod then disappear into the crowd. The elder Winchester watches them go with an absent-minded smile, elbow rested on the bar top. Caught in a daze, his focus is grasped when he hears the low grumble of his friend and looks to him.

Hunched over, Cas groans out, “I’m never drinking again.”

Dean can only laugh. Then he goes back to nursing a rum and coke and watching the crowd sway to the music.

He watches Y/N. As the song blares on she moves to the beat with Sam, laughing at how languidly he moves to such a fast-paced song. The elder Winchester finds himself chuckling, too (because it’s drunk Sam and who doesn’t love drunk Sam?) and then leaning further back in his seat to observe.

Then, when the tempo slows, he sees Rick approaching. Smiling like always. Red faced, probably from drinking. He doesn’t remember seeing him with a glass?

“Is he seriously gonna ask her to dance?” Dean scoffs. Cas only grumbles. The elder Winchester’s gaze flits to his flaccid friend, death-glare in place and then he rolls his eyes and returns them to his former focus—and no surprise, they’ve started dancing.

“God, look at him. Piece of shit.”

“This coming from the man who hates the guy for no reason. Get over yourself, Dean.”

“Excuse me?” He turns to Cas almost instantly, brow creased as the angel pushes himself up. His head is throbbing and he grips it and groans, expression twisted.

“I said get over yourself. Rick has as much right to dance with Y/N as you do—or are you forgetting that the two of you aren’t actually dating?”

“Shut it, feathers.”

Castiel shrugs then holds his hands out in surrender. Dean bites his cheek, but this time he does not look back. He doesn’t want to. The grimness of the afternoon has returned and made his chest its warm home. Despondent, he weakly glances at Castiel.

“Cas?”

“Hm?”

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I? For not…for, well—Rick and Y/N.”

A caustic laugh escapes him at that. “It’s good you’ve realized. The only thing differentiating you—“he pokes Dean’s chest, then points to the crowd, “—from him, is that he’s got the courage to act on his feelings. That’s your problem, Dean. Yours and Y/N’s—you’re both huge cowards. Waiting for the other to make the first move.”

Dean silently watches him. The angel’s words dig into him. Carve themselves onto the walls of his heart, poison his blood. They’re in his system and he isn’t sure if he enjoys the brutality of their truth.

“I love her.” His tone is earnest and true. These words are just as brutal, just as honest.

He lifts his eyes from the floor to Cas, who only scoffs, before throwing back a shot of tequila.

“Yeah” He coughs, tone sardonic.  “And fucking water is wet. Don’t tell me. There is an enthralling woman waiting for you on that dance floor who would be much more delighted to hear that.”

And those words are just as true.

Watching his friend, a fondness crawls its way out of the elder Winchester’s belly. Drunk Cas, much like drunk Sam, is more than amusing. The only difference between the angel and his brother, though, is that Castiel manages to retain all his wisdom even in an intoxicated state, remains Castiel, an angel of the Lord who—on most occasions—is the voice of reason in Dean’s head.

And now is no different.

There is an upward curve to his mouth as the elder Winchester nods approvingly. “Wow. Who knew you become Yoda when you’re drunk.”

“I’m yoda even when I’m sober.” The angel assures somberly. Dean can’t help but laugh. He stands, claps a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Sure thing buddy.” He says. Then his eyes soften. “Thanks, anyway. You’re right.”

“I know.”

“You gonna be okay on your own here? I know I can’t trust you to stay away from the drinks…”

“I’ll be fine.”

“He’s cut off, yeah?” Dean points at the bartender, a young man with shaggy blond hair who laughs and nods, and then just like that he turns around and makes his way to the dancing crowd.

Sweaty bodies form a barricade between him and his target, pull at him, urge him to dance. Dean smiles politely and shuffles through, the air thick with the scent of sweat and various perfumes. It’s dizzying. He inches closer and closer as he tames his inner turmoil. It’s now or never.

Y/N, finally but a few inches away, throws her head back in rapture and bounces to the beat of the song. So disoriented and dislodged that it’s almost humorous. So Y/N. She doesn’t notice him come up until he taps her on the shoulder and she whips around.

Her chest stutters with heavy breaths, as a smile forms. “What are you doing here?”

“Mind if I cut in?” The question isn’t directed at her, no—he’s asking Rick.

Sweaty, bewildered Rick. Perfect Rick. Even drenched in his own perspiration and with three buttons undone he looks faultless. And that, Dean has come to learn, is okay. Rick is okay. He’s good, from what he’s seen these past days, and it’s time the strife between them melts away.

With apologetic eyes, the elder Winchester stares at the dark-haired man who tips his head back defiantly.

“Do I really have a choice?”

Inhaling deeply, Dean looks to Y/N. “Would you give us a minute?” He asks. Reluctant, she shrugs, smiles sadly and then bounces over to where Emma and Aunt Steph are dancing

His focus returns to the man before him. Dean breathes in once more. This isn’t the hard part of the evening. The hard part hasn’t even yet begun.

“Look, Rick, I owe you an apology…”

“Do you? Huh. That’s hard to believe.”

“Could you just listen?” He asks almost impatiently.

The brown eyed man folds his arms over his chest. Dean swallows.

“I’m sorry. Really. I’m sorry that for the past few days I’ve acted like a huge prick when you’ve been nothing but polite and respectful. It was…stupid of me…really stupid. You’re nothing like the guy I’ve been making you out to be in my head. You’re a good kid. You deserve to be treated like one.” Dean watches him, the heaviness in his chest melting away. Replaced by relief. Replaced by triumph. He feels a swell of calm when he sees the corners of Rick’s mouth curve up in a fond smile.

His tone is truthful as he nods. “Thank you for that. I forgive you.”

“Not pulling my leg?” Dean almost smiles as he turns his head just a little, tone ribbing.

“I wish I was.” Rick laughs. “I really want to hate you, think you’re a dick—was doing that pretty well up until a few minutes ago.” They both chuckle. The moment is brief, a flash of a second, but it’s a testament to the atonement.

“But even then,” He goes on, “I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that the guy Y/N was crazy about was actually an ass.”

“Well, I have my moments.”

“We all do, don’t we? No, you’re a good guy, too, Dean. I know that just from seeing how much she adores you.”

With a fond smile Rick’s eyes then slowly move to Y/N behind Dean. The elder Winchester glances over his shoulder, finding her dancing, laughing. Happy. When he looks back, he flashes the elder Winchester  a furtive smile, salutes and then vanishes into the crowd.

He watches him leave, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips when suddenly there’s a tug on his wrist. Dean whips around.

Smiling up at him, Y/n looks at the retreating man then her friend. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

“Do you wanna dance?”

It isn’t until she asks that Dean notices the shift in the music’s tempo, the steady strum of a guitar and the way everyone’s movements slow. People pair up. A calmness floats over the scene and even Sam, smiling down at a redhead he’d seen him with earlier, moves in and begins to sway with her.

The elder Winchester’s breath catches in his throat. He looks down at Y/N, licks his lips, and can’t help the unsure smiles that forces its way onto his face.

He nods.

Takes her hand. Leads her into position, calloused hands resting on her waist as she winds hers around his neck. They move to the beat of the music. Languid. Lazed. The world around them seems to blur, nothing but them and them and them…

No one else matters. No one needs to other than Y/N, a smile rested on her gentle features as she looks up at him and God, Dean wants to say it, he has to.

“You’re a good dancer.” He says idly, smiling at her.

“I wish I could say the same about you.”

“Oh, shut up…”

Bowing her head, she laughs then meets his gaze again. “I’m kidding. You’re actually better than I thought you’d be.”

“Is that so?”

Dean’s heart grows warmer and warmer by the second. He watches her, feels her blood run under her fingers, notices the way her skin buzzes beneath his touch and hopes it’s not just the alcohol taking its toll.

“We did it.” He says.

The space between them gets thinner and thinner and Y/N wordlessly nods as she leans in closer, the elder Winchester feeling his blood pulse. A familiar thrill courses through him like a vice, like anxiety bubbling in the pit of his belly, like heat flooding his face.

He plants his soles firmly into the ground and restrains himself. It’s a battle, but he has been a fighter since he started to walk, and he is no stranger to the pain of it all.

“Yeah.” Shaking her head with disbelief, she lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah, we did it.”

“Who would have thought, huh? I mean, not that I’m saying I was doubting the plan—“

“It’s okay, I was, too.”

“I wasn’t. I….” He opens his mouth, shuts it, tries again. “I knew we could pull it off, you know…? We always make a good team, the two of us.”

An inch away, Y/N yields and stops moving closer. “Yeah….yeah, we do, don’t we? And we always will.”

This is it. Moment of truth, esteemed and anticipated and nerve-wracking. The elder Winchester swallows, tries not to get lost in her eyes.

“Look, Y/N I...I have something to tell you. I don’t know what it’s gonna be like after or if telling it to you is the right thing to do but at this point, I don’t care. I don’t, I….” Mustering the courage, he takes this as his chance, gulping thickly. The words are there, right there. In his throat. Stuck. Forcing them out is tedious and suffocating, like they’re cutting off the air supply to his lungs.

The elder Winchester licks his lips. Y/N. His.

“I love you, Y/N.” he all but whispers…

And she doesn’t move.

Something flickers in her eyes, a recognition, an acknowledgement. He is no fool to miss it. Even the blink of an eye at this stage, at this fleeting moment, is crucial. He’s got the ball rolling now. Licking his lips, he goes on as his emotions begin to boil, to bubble rapidly like stew in a cauldron.

“I do. Terribly. For the longest time now but I only just realized it this week, and—well, you can imagine how stupid I felt because it’s been right there in front of me all this time. Only I was too big of an idiot to realize that. I love you, Y/N. I love you.”

“You…?”

“Love you.”

Love. He loves her. There. He’s said it. Felt it, proclaimed it. What matters now doesn’t matter as much; as long as the elder Winchester has purged himself of the emotions that have been poisoning him for the past few weeks.

Out in the open the words do not seem as frightening as they did in his head. They are mere words, he realizes. Amplified by his mind, little creatures hyperbolized into bloodthirsty beasts—the extortion is dissipating, Dean can feel it. He can feel the weight on his heart lessen. Can feel his lungs regain their function. His body is no longer a home to this toxin.

Love.

As he watches her the silence hanging between them turns sour and his heart wrenches. Stunned in silence, she gapes at him, the melody of the music dancing around them unaffected. Everybody else is; all celebrating and cheering and ignorant to what, to Dean, feels like the earth splitting in half beneath his feet.

“Y/N, I—“

“You….love me?”

He nods silently. Her brow furrows and she licks her lips. “Dean, I….”

But he doesn’t let her finish.

It happens in the flash of a second. So rapid, so spontaneous that even he is caught off guard but the feeling of her warm mouth on his is enough to reel him back in.

Y/N stills under his touch. Her heart stutters. Soars. His grip on her grows firmer as his lips dance against hers, idly moving to the music as they formerly were, tasting, taunting, drawing something out from her belly that feels like fire. Pressing herself closer to him, her arms tighten around his neck, desperate to have him closer.

But Dean does not rush.

His kiss is tentative and indolent and it feels like a million stars are settling on her skin/ His hand moves to cup her face, tilting it back slightly, and Y/N’s mind fogs.

Them and them and them….

Only. Always.

When he pulls back, their faces not even an inch apart, he swears he hears cheers ringing out. Laughter. Sam’s voice hidden in there, somewhere. Dean ignores it, all of it, and instead focuses on Y/N.

With half lidded eyes, he looks down at her.

“I love you…” He shakes his head.

A smile cracks through her face and he notices the tears welling in her eyes. Finally. Finally.

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I should have, but I was a fucking coward and I thought….”

“That I wouldn’t feel the same?” She supplements with a smile.

He nods. Chuckles. “I’m guessing you thought the same thing, huh?”

“More than you know. Guess we’re both idiots then.” Y/N says. Her hands slide to his face, resting on either side, the stubble rubbing against her soft palms.

“You and I will always make a good team.”

“Always?”

“Always, and forever—till death do us part, Winchester.”

And Dean can see it in her eyes, in the way she laces her hand with his and holds it over her heart that this is a promise, an unspoken oath that sits, without a doubt, on a cosmic level.

And that is enough of a hint for him.

                                                   ~*~*~*~

Aaaahhh it’s finally done !!

This series has probably been one of my longest but most full filling stories to write, so I’d like to give a big thank you for those who stuck around from the start. It’s been quite the ride, and hopefully you enjoyed. I’ll probably create a masterlist for this entire series, but if not, you can always find the entire thing in my regular *Masterlist*

(ALSO, since this is out of the way I’ve decided to open up requests so ayyee)

Thank you once again for reading! IF you liked this or would like to see more of my writing, go ahead and show show some love! Likes, reblogs and follows are always a pick me up :)

[alexanderwrites]

Top of the Flops - Cursed (2005)

A brief introduction: I watch a lot of movies, and specifically, I watch a lot of terrible movies. On purpose. Perhaps it was growing up on Adam Sandler movies that did it, but I am naturally drawn to the mistakes of cinema. Making friends that are equally as obsessed with the annals of acrid cinema helped encourage my plight, as did the great podcast, How did this Get Made? I’ve learned to embrace my love of the hot garbage, yet all my terrible film watching tended to just fall into a well deep inside my brain where it’d remain, only to occasionally crawl back out and force me to admit: “Oh shit, I think i’ve seen that”. And so, with this feature, I will attempt to look these movies dead in the eye and say “.....alright then”. These films won’t necessarily be the traditional flop, but they will exist in one of three categories (or hopefully, all three): Financial Flop, Critical Flop, or Flop inside my own Heart. And we start with a movie that swipes at those three categories with a badly animated paw and succeeds at being all of them.

Budget: $38m

Gross: $29.6m

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 16%

When you think about something being cursed, sure, you might think of someone bitten by a Hollywood Werewolf. Or, you might think of a film that is produced by Bob and Harvey Weinstein, the unsurpassed ineffectual tinkerers of Hollywood Movies. Cursed has a lot of curses, but it is hard to find one more damning than that of the Weinstein curse, which put this movie through years of production hell while they desperately attempted to lower the rating and stuff it full of stars so that people would actually go and see it. They failed wildly. Pandering is the bread and butter of Horror Cinema of the mid-2000s (let us not forget that Paris Hilton starred in the House of Wax remake that year) and boy does this film come off as a parent trying to access your love by accessing your CD collection (shit, ‘CD collection’? Sorry, this film has put me into 2005 mode, when I actually owned CDs by some of the bands in this soundtrack).

How pander-ific does it get? The film opens with a Bowling for Soup concert. Y’know, the guys who sang Girl all the Bad Guys Want? Yeah, them. Whether or not they were a voice of a generation, this film skews pretty young, and in case you were worried that they’re just aiming for the kids who ride skateboards, worry no more: the singer Mya is at the concert. Yes, the singer Mya. And the strangest thing is, the singer Mya doesn’t sing at all. Which is what, if anything, she was known for. It is entirely possible she showed up to the production, Wes Craven didn’t recognise her and instead cast her as “girl who flirts and therefore gets violently killed”. And later, the trifecta of “WHY ARE THEY THERE” musicians is complete when Lance Bass has a wordless cameo. Oh Bass, you truly were the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos! (Alfred Hitchcock was also the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos, as well as the Alfred Hitchcock of Alfred Hitchcocks). 

Aside from Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg leading the cast, (who no teen on earth cared about in 2005), the film’s attempt to celebrit-ise the cast list is, erm...weird? There’s Shannon Elizabeth (who was 5 years past being popular), Joshua Jackson (who was 10 years past being popular) and Scott Baio (who was literally never popular). As Bart once pointed out: “What’s a Chachi?”. And, if it had been released ten years later, the film could’ve had something on their hands with this cameo...

It’s odd that the film should be such a cynical Hollywood cheap-fest because writer Kevin Williamson (scribe of classics like Scream and...not classics like I Know What You Did Last Summer) is quite the meta lover, and is excitedly peppers the script with lots of digs at Hollywood. They’re not good digs: Jesse Eisenberg suggests that as the werewolf is from Hollywood, it might have breast implants, an image that’s so stupid, yet so viscerally disgusting, that I wish Eisenberg had never opened his bastard mouth to say it. Williamson is not much of a satirist outside of Scream, but you get the feeling he thinks he is. “I’m gonna make fun of dumb old Hollywood whilst making a film that is the most clear cut example of dumb old Hollywood. Haha! Take that, me!”.

The film has promise in its names: Wes Craven behind the camera and Rick Baker on makeup, but in reducing the film’s certificate, The Weinstein’s rid the movie of almost any of that great Baker body horror makeup, and any of that Craven intelligence. I can’t blame it all on them: the scariest thing about it is how horrifically directed it is: it looks like a TV Movie, and I genuinely would not surprised if Craven was napping through 80% of filming. And it’s an odd decision to rely so heavily on cheap looking CGI when Baker is around - it’s like they said “Great, we’ve got Rick Baker on board! Now, lets lock him in that cupboard over there for two years”. Because this film literally took over two years to make. A film taking a long time, a film having reshoots, and a film having rewrites, are three signs your film is in trouble. Cursed has all three of those. I mean, did it really sound promising when Men in Black 3′s rewrites were going so badly that they got Will Smith on board to help out? It damn well didn’t, and we ended up with a film with lines like “I will pimp-slap the shiznit out of you”. In 2012. 

You can tell Cursed was filmed over gigantic periods of time, which would explain why nobody in the film appears to give a shit about anything that’s happening. Ricci, Eisenberg and Jackson seem so entirely bored and quite honestly, sleepy, that it’s baffling that Wes didn’t say ‘Hey can we try that once more but this time not shitty?’. Not that he cared too much - how do you direct a film from someone’s else’s script for nearly THREE years and still care? How do you maintain a solid and consistent directing style over three years? The answer is: you don’t. 

I can not blame the bad performances. The script is so dire and laughable that caring about it requires energy which could be better spent on things such as making some lunch or clearing out your junk mail folders. I mean, what could Ricci possibly see in her character Ellie? She’s a talk show producer which never plays into her story, and after she and her brother are attacked by an LA Werewolf, what exciting changes in her occur? What emotional developments does she have to grapple with? Well for a starter, she wears a new shirt to work. It’s the most nondescript shirt imaginable, and yet it causes her co-worker to tell her she looks “Saucy”. Did I mention that this movie has no idea how people talk or act? She does so little else, except sniff the odd bit of blood, and worry that her brooding boyfriend, Joshua Jackson, isn’t happy with her. His story isn’t much better, the crux of his arc in the first half is “He loves to fuck so much, but can he learn to cut back on all the fucking?”. Oh, and he has a club to open, which is a bizarre Madame Tussauds of horror movie mannequins, but also Cher and Xena, and also a house of mirrors, and also a DJ. And Lance Bass attends the opening. It feels like the weirdest and laziest shoehorn of “Hey here’s some horror movie imagery so we can tie our movie to much better horror movies!”, and the twist is so predictable that I wrote in my notes “If Joshua Jackson doesn’t turn out to be a werewolf I will eat my own hands.”. 

         IF ONLY there was some framing to give me a hint! Darn it!

Meanwhile, Jesse Eisenberg plays Jimmy, who knows he is turning into a werewolf because he went on “internet search” and typed in the words “Werewolf L.A”. He doesn’t seem very bothered, though. As soon as they get home from their initial attack (during which Shannon Elizabeth is in a fiery car wreck and then dragged off to her death), he says, with casual indifference “Well. G’night”. After he saw a woman killed. And after they were attacked by a gigantic wolf. Nobody seems to care about anything that is happening, but why should they? Jimmy’s werewolf transformation is only marginally more exciting than Ellie’s, because he gets the Spiderman 3 style hair makeover (although this is spiky rather than floppy) and he can now suplex his bully. 

Ellie’s transformation means she can catch a fly in her bare hand, y’know, just as werewolves are always doing. The film seems to forget that they’re actually supposed to be werewolves because they never actually turn into werewolves, and it never seems to affect their lives too badly. The traditional impetus for werewolves’ story arc is that they want to stop becoming a werewolves because they don’t want to kill people. That isn’t even hinted at with either Ellie or Jimmy - they never even try to kill anyone, they never fully transform, and the most dangerous Ellie gets is when she yells “Don’t start with me!” at a producer who doesn’t want Scott Baio to be bumped for Carrot Top. Seriously. A moment that is supposed to showcase Ellie’s newfound animal fury involves a conversation about Carrot Top and Scott Baio. For most of the film she doesn’t really believe she’s a werewolf, which gives us a contender for worst line of 2005: “Everybody’s cursed. It’s called life”. Her story is thoroughly underwritten, meanwhile you wish Jimmy’s story was not written at all.

Because he’s Jesse Eisenberg, he gets bullied by someone who throws homophobic slurs at him even though, as Jimmy repeatedly reminds us, he’s not gay. Poor straight kid! That must be tough, being straight! Some of these insults include “Your dog is gay too!”, and “You ass wimp wad”. But it’s okay, because it turns out the bully is gay! And not only that, but he turns up on Jimmy’s front porch and tries to kiss him, which leads to another of the worst/best lines of the film: “i’m not gay....i’m a werewolf”. The nonchalant way he just reveals that information is ridiculous, and is another demonstration of the way that nobody seems to care very much about anything in this movie. The film doesn’t seem to care very much about its set pieces either, one of which happens moments after the porch scene. The family dog for no apparent reason is a werewolf now, too! A vague, fuzzily CGI’d ball of brown that throws itself through windows!

                                   “Ahh!! It’s an....onion bhaji?”

Meanwhile, Joshua Jackson’s secret kind of just falls out, as if Kevin Williamson was like “Oh RIGHT, there has to be an antagonist”. Joshua Jackson is a werewolf after all, and this draws the action towards the opening of his club, where Jimmy’s bully joins them for some reason, and proceeds to get knocked out instantly, a state in which he remains for the entire duration of the scene. 

  “My dying wish is that I one day star in a superhero show that is beloved for      one season and then the most hated thing on TV for the second season”

The great TV writer John Swartzwelder was known for using “for some reason” in his scripts, which worked beautifully for a solid, absurd joke. But Cursed is a supposed horror film that takes “for some reason” and bases its entire third act on it. Why are they all here at this club? Why is Judy Greer turning into a werewolf now? And why, by any stretch of the imagination, did the writers think that, after having her looks insulted, it’d be a good idea to have the Greerwolf do this:

Yes, Judy Greer is the last-minute big bad wolf, but to what end? Where was all the build up to that? What is her motivation? And how much longer if there left of this film? She gives an expository dump about how much she hates women and thus wants to eat her, and it carries about as much weight as the fly that Ellie caught earlier (callbacks!). The big fight between Greerwolf and Jimmy & Ellie feels totally unearned, and they don’t even use any of their Werewolf abilities. I mean, sure, it’s a fun sight seeing Jesse Eisenberg charging at Greerwolf with a sword and shouting “yyAAAH YAAAAAAAH”, but the scene ends without Ellie and Jimmy doing anything impressive at all, and instead a bunch of cops just shooting her to death. It’s not very clever or satisfying. At least she got to crack a few lines before her time was up, including “Showtime. Isn’t that what they say?”. Uhh...yeah I guess? Good one? The film cannot seem to make up its mind on what any of the characters think or want, and so Joshua Jackson goes from good, to bad, to good and back to bad again, and not for one second does the disinterest on his face let up.

      “I’m a fuckin wolf and uh, i’m gonna eat you now I guess. Or not. Wes!?”

The final set piece, which limps along after what feels like a 20 minute film (which is actually 100 minutes) occurs after 3 acts which involve zero emotional development, and zero cool werewolf moments. Surely now is the time for our protagonist, Ellie, to have both? Nah! Instead she slowly sort-of turns into a werewolf, by getting lumpy skin and big teeth. She never fully transforms (“It happens slowly at first” says Jackson, meaning “we don’t have the budget for a full transformation”) and doesn’t even get to overpower Joshua Jackson, which would’ve at least given her some agency and closure. That task is left to Jimmy who crawls around on the ceiling for a bit, (another classic werewolf attribute??) before eventually stopping Jackson with a shovel and a....cake serving knife. A cake serving knife that you see a lot of in the film, because apparently cake serving knives are really cool props to have as a sort of Chekhov’s Cake Server?

            “Teenagers LOVE cake servers, right” - Kevin Williamson

Jimmy saves Ellie with the help of the cake server, and once Jackson is down, Ellie at the very least she gets to smash Jackson’s head off, and his body burns. Kitchen RUINED. She doesn’t even seem upset that she’s had to smash her supposed love’s head clean off his body. And mere moments after this, Jimmy’s crush comes to the door having found their were-dog, and conveniently knowing that a) it’s his dog and b) where he lives. They have a kiss and walk off, with his bully in attendance because apparently he doesn’t have a family of his own. They all got over that evening pretty fast. After tearing a werewolf’s head off and having your sister nearly killed, would you not want to hang out for a bit longer? Just have a bit of a night in? Instead, it’s a casual “Well that’s done then, bye!”. And there’s his arc. He’s made a friend, got a girlfriend, and saved his sister. And what was Ellie’s arc? She wears a new shirt, has her life nearly ended several times, has her house ruined, and then, as Jimmy fucks off with his mates, she closes the film with the line “I’m just gonna stay here and clean”. Seriously. That’s her resolution. That’s how she ends the film. Bloodied, miserable, alone, and cleaning up the gore in her kitchen. I can’t wait for Cursed 2 to see if she managed to successfully hoover up all that werewolf fur!! 

It’s a real failure of a film in every regard. It does lean towards trying to be fun rather than trying to be scary, but couldn’t it have tried to be even a bit spooky? Could the jump scares have not been so endless and predictable. I mean, ten points for anyone who can guess where the jump scare is coming from in this scene:

Yes, a cuckoo clock is about as scary as it gets. I could tolerate the lack of care put into the story and the characters if the action and horror were there, but they really aren’t. There is nothing tense, well crafted or smart in the film. It’s baffling to think this is the guy who made Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, because this doesn’t just feel like it was directed by someone having an off day, it feels like it was directed by someone whose only experience is directing episodes of MTV’s Cribs. It doesn’t attempt to subvert, improve or even just successfully repeat the werewolf formula, instead it just throws random iconography from those movies at you with Dashboard Confessional songs playing loudly enough to distract you from this terrible film with an even more terrible soundtrack. Terrible, and yet I did have fun with it. It actually benefits from being flimsy and light as air, and as dreadful as it gets, I did appreciate it not taking itself too seriously. There are enough unintentionally funny and simply bizarre moments to make it an enjoyable watch, and it’s not the most hatable of films. It could almost have had a charm, if it wasn’t really, really, extremely bad. 

Worth a hate watch?: Yes

Worst/best line: “I’m not gay....i’m a werewolf”

Worst film of 2005?: Son of the Mask, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Doom, XXX 2, The Pacifier and Bewitched all came out in 2005, so no. Cursed might be a bad film from a bad year, but it is not the worst. Rob Schneider knows very well which film is the worst of 2005.