#rick flag fluff

[moonpascaltoo]

RICK FLAG

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all rick flag stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

MASTERLIST • DC MASTERLIST • 05/26/24

@foli-vora ⭒ danger high voltage ⭒ lover ⭒ free ground You’d never known panic like this. You’d never known pain like this. “Rick? Eyes open. Please baby. Come on now.” ” He’s okay. He’s okay. ⭒ hear me

@lacontroller1991 ⭒ bull ride ⭒ husband for hire ⭒ you’re not bad

@loverhymeswith ⭒ nothing will ever be the same pt2 Jotunheim has fallen and Project Starfish is on the loose, but all you really care about is Rick.

@darling-i-read-it ⭒ already married Rick and the reader are secretly married

@drabbles-mc ⭒ all settled

@blackbat05 ⭒ different You were always at odds with a certain Colonel. Will Christmas change things?

@coweye ⭒ love hurts You and your lover Rick Flag do some squad conflict resolution.

@seancekitsch ⭒ hot to go Rick knows he shouldn't shit where he eats. Rick knows Waller would demote him in a second if she knew he was letting you and your de facto guard dog have special privileges on this mission. Rick knows he shouldn't take you up on your offer to play a game.

@reveluving ⭒ request

@ohcaptains ⭒ pity me, i need you you’re not read to say goodbye, not yet.

[reveluving]

hold me closely ; rick flag x reader

summary: 'cool, calm & collected' is how many describe the Flags, and they're right. to a certain degree, at least. (a.k.a some of your & Rick's favourite convos in the family group chat)

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff & humour (ft twin sons Ethan & Richie, daughter Irene & Tofu the cat!)

a/n: made sumn for my rick babes (+ s/o to my girl @lacontroller1991​ for the cutest hubby rick ask??? ily) so enjoyed imagining what it’s like to be his wifey and mother of kids eeee <33 love y’all!! don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

disclaimer!! despite the face claims (joy from rv btw) & running theme here, you are highly encouraged to imagine yourself or your oc as the MC however you see fit!

» wanna read more rick flag fics or anyone by joel kinnaman? check out my j.k. m.list!

↳ january 19th ༉‧₊˚✧

me 🌸 : how's Tofu, kids?

richie : [ sent 3 photos ]

mister e : pretty gud mom

me 🌸 : ??? the last photo??

my beloved ❤️ : @.mister e what did we tell you about putting Tofu on your head

mister e : i told richie it was a bad idea but he didn’t listen 😔

richie : ??? u literally suggested the idea??? 🤨

↳ march 21st ༉‧₊˚✧

me 🌸 : have u guys seen the package i brought in this morning? i ordered a pillow for your sister

richie : [ sent 3 photos ]

richie : dw we gave it to her already

mister e : Tofu also conquered the box just so you guys know

↳ june 5th ༉‧₊˚✧

my beloved ❤️ : store’s got vanilla ice cream but it’s not the one you asked for. is it still okay @.me 🌸?

me 🌸 : more than okay! tq ❤❤

mister e : nvm we bought like, 9 different kinds

mister e : [ sent 3 photos ]

me 🌸 : ? how???

richie : dad drove us to four different stores lol

my beloved ❤️ : i still don't think it's enough

↳ july 4th ༉‧₊˚✧

richie: [ sent 3 photos ]

[ my beloved ❤️ reacted with a ‘ ❤️ ’ ]

[ mister e reacted with a ‘ 🎉 ’ ]

[ you reacted with a ‘ 🥰 ’ ]

↳ july 22nd ༉‧₊˚✧

richie : what do you guys call a fake noodle?

me 🌸 : what?

richie : an impasta

[ my beloved ❤️ has removed richie from the group ]

me 🌸 : RICK

my beloved ❤️ : it’s a little funny, i admit

mister e : heh

my beloved ❤️ : you wanna join your brother, too?

mister e : no sir 🚶

↳ august 6th ༉‧₊˚✧

mister e : [ sent 3 photos ]

mister e : richie, irene and i @ the aquarium + ice-cream and bookstore after

[ you and my beloved ❤️ reacted with a ‘ ❤️ ’ ]

richie : hope the dinner’s going well!

me 🌸 : [ sent 2 photos ]

my beloved ❤️ : [ sent 2 photos ]

my beloved ❤️ : it's going amazing. thank you boys 😌

» juuust in case you're still confused: 'my beloved ❤' is Rick, 'mr e' is Ethan & 'richie' is, well, Richie!

» ❛ fun lil’ trivia about the flags ༉‧₊˚

Irene and the twins have an eight-year age gap!

Richie’s full name is Richard Flag the Third.

Although identical, Richie has certain mannerisms that resemble his father. The same case applies to Ethan, the younger twin, who picks up more of your quirks. Despite that, Richie, usually the photographer of the group, encourages (and even adds to) Ethan’s odd photo ideas.

Sporty ahh kids. All three of them. Need I say more?

» gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[blackbat05]

Back Home

Dad Rick Flag x Reader

Plot: Rick comes back from another assignment at work and makes a big decision.

Genre: Fluff, PG-13

A/N: This can be read as a standalone or a continuation from <Exploring>! Actually, if you visit my Rick Flag masterlist, if you're looking for Dad Rick Flag, I'll recommend reading <Fresh Start> first and go in order until <Exploring>! Feel free to ask me any questions and reblogs are always appreciated!

Tags: @the-slumberparty

Blinking the sleep away from his eyes, Rick reaches out for the familiar body warmth only to be met with an empty bed.

He turns to check the time. 11.40am. Looks like he slept longer than usual. Entering the private contract business wasn’t easy. The week was filled with endless schedules that seemed to never end.

Rick hears a clang from the kitchen and decides that it was time to get out of the comfort of the sheets. Walking down the hallway, he could hear your whisper followed by an outbreak of giggles from his lovely daughter.

He peeks into the living room to see his two boys, Daniel and Robin Flag playing with their figurines. The former teaching his younger brother how to make them stand. Rick smiles and couldn’t be prouder of Daniel. It felt as if like it Daniel was just a baby just yesterday.

Rick continues further towards the kitchen undetected, heart growing at the beautiful sight of his two favorite girls cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

“We don’t want to wake Papa up yet do we?” Rick sees you carefully plating the eggs onto the plate of toast and bacon.

Freya Flag, the oldest of the three shakes her head. She grabs a cup, pouring orange juice into it. “We’re going to surprise Papa!”

“Consider me surprised pumpkin.”

Freya turns around to see Rick standing at the entrance of the kitchen, arms extended. “How about a hug?”

“Papa!” She squeals, attracting the attention of her siblings from the living room. A patter of footsteps could be heard, before all three bodies converge onto Rick.

“Papa! Papa! We missed you!” Freya clings onto Rick like a koala, not wanting to let go anytime soon. “Mama said you were supposed to be back on Tuesday but you didn’t back and I was sad.” Her pout made Rick’s heart melt. Bringing his daughter close, he attacks her with kisses.

“I know, the flight was late so I came back late.” Rick apologizes. His current job was anytime better than being the leader of the suicide squad but if he had a choice, he wouldn’t want to leave his family forever. “I’m sorry pumpkin.”

The children seem to accept his apology as they drag him to the living room. You follow behind with the tray of food that you and Freya had meant to surprise him with.

“Papa! Did you know, Miss Wilson gave me this pencil case as a present because I got the highest marks in spelling?” Freya whips out her prized possession, showing it to Rick who was impressed.

“Did you now? I didn’t know my little girl was a genius!”

Freya beams, satisfied at the compliment. Daniel then lays out his newest figurine collection gifted to him by your parents, telling him about each figurine in detail while your youngest climbs all over Rick.

“All right lightning McQueens,” you chuckle. “How about we let Papa eat first before we continue?”

You settle with Rick at the dining table, watching over your children play with the figurines and toys that were scattered on the sofa.

“Why aren’t you eating?” You see Rick looking at you, plate yet to be touched.

He smiles at you, unable to form words at that moment. But there weren't any words that need to be exchanged between the two of you.

"Maybe I should quit."

"Quit? Did something happen?" After Robin's birth, Rick had bought up the conversation with you, that he was prepared to go back and do what he did best. Minus the superhuman threats he had to face on a frequent basis. You were concerned, but who were you to stop him?

Rick takes a deep breath, looking at his children playing noisily in the living room. Sure, he was used to being away for long periods of time. But this time he wasn't alone. He finally had a family to come back to.

"I just don't want to miss our little ones growing up. I want to be there for them, no matter how big or small. I want to be there for you."

You lean forward, taking his hands into yours. "And you are. You are always there for us. You have no idea how proud the kids are of you. Should have seen Freya telling her friends and teachers all about her daddy. But if you must, whatever decision you make, you have our support."

At this moment, Daniel runs to the table with a ball in his hand. "Daddy! Come and play catch with us!" He takes Rick by the arm, dragging him towards the garden where his older sister and younger brother await excitedly to finally play with their dad.

Rick turns back and you make a shooing movement. "Go! You have been summoned, Mister."

These moments remind Rick that he was so blessed. His children, were so full of life, always giving him the energy that he needed. And you...

You were his rock all these years. When he first met you while volunteering at the children's center, stumbling back after months - away from the clutches of Amanda Waller and created a family that he always wanted.

Focusing his attention back on the kids, Rick puts on the glove.

"Alright, let's play!"

As the kids scramble to their position, he sees you washing the dishes in the kitchen and catches your eye. You can't hear him, but he's sure you know what he's saying exactly.

"I love you so much."

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Surprise!

Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag

Summary: Rick loves sneaking up and scaring you when you least expect it. But turn about is fair play….

Word Count: 1371

(Fic is 100% inspired by this GIF)

You loved your boyfriend, but sometimes he could be a real jerk. Lately, Rick had gotten it into his head that his new favorite thing to do was to scare you. Well, more like surprise you. He would wait until you were coming out of the bedroom or walking down the hall, then he would use his Special Force stealth training to sneak up behind you and kiss your cheek, causing you to jump nearly through the ceiling. Or he would get home early from a mission and slide his arms around your waist while you were doing dishes, resulting in more than one broken glass. Or his latest endeavor had been tapping on your car window while you were checking emails on your phone, leading to you glaring back at his delighted face.

But the final straw came when you had arrived home after a really rough day at work. Throwing your keys onto the counter, you start searching through the refrigerator for any leftovers that might have been forgotten. You found an old container of Chinese food that still looked edible, so you grabbed a fork and started walking to the bedroom.

“Welcome home, darlin’.”

You jumped a foot into the air as you lost your grip on the container of food, shrimp and noodles spilling across the floor. You glared at the relaxed, grinning form of your boyfriend splayed out on the couch with a beer in his hand.

“Damn it, Rick! How many times do I have to tell you not to scare me like that! Now what I’m I supposed to eat?”

Rick held up his hands in self-defense. “Hey, I’ve been laying here for the past twenty minutes. It’s not my fault you’re not very observant. Besides, that stuff had been in there for over a week. I did you a favor.”

“You could have at least cleared your throat or given me some sort of sign you were there. We’ve talked about this!”

“I know, but you keep giving me the perfect opportunities. How am I supposed to just pass that up?”

You crossed your arms in annoyance. “Well, how would you like it if I scared you like that?”

He chuckled as he took another sip of his beer. “You could try, but I don’t get scared. Plus, I’ve been trained too well to let you get the drop on me.”

“Well, we’ll just see about that!” Turning around in a huff, you stormed off to the bedroom with Rick’s snickering following you down the hall.

For the first few days after the challenge had been issued, Rick was extra on edge, coiled like a spring just waiting for you to try something. But you were no idiot. You knew that if you wanted even the slightest chance to scare Rick, you needed to bide your time and wait until it wasn’t on the forefront of his mind. And slowly but surely, Rick began to relax again. He was no longer peeking around corners or entering a room as if scanning for armed gunmen. But it wasn’t until three weeks later that you finally got your perfect opportunity.

Your boss had given everyone an unexpected half-day so the IT Department could install updates on the office computers. This meant that you arrived back at the apartment early, but you didn’t think much of it until you opened the door and heard the shower running. A smile slowly stretched across your lips. Rick was expecting to have the apartment to himself for at least another four hours which meant…..

You heard the shower turn off and you quickly dove behind the couch, phone at the ready. There was no way you were going to miss the opportunity to catch this on film. You listened as the bathroom door opened and Rick’s feet padded down the hallway. Just as it sounded like he was at the edge of the living room, you burst up from your hiding spot and yelled, “Boo!”

It was even better than you had hoped. Rick was wearing nothing but his multicolored towel wrapped loosely around his waist. As you popped up, he jolted wildly, arms flailing and a surprisingly high-pitched scream coming from his lips. “Ahhh!!!...... Fuck!”

At this point, you were bent over, cackling in triumph and joy. You glanced up and were happy to see a small smile on Rick’s face.

“What? You think that was funny? Well, you got me good.”

Tears streaming from your eyes, you managed to choke out, “Oh my god! I’m sending this to everyone! Wait until Harley sees it! She’ll never show you any respect ever again! And DuBois! Has your old military buddy ever heard you screech like that?”

“Don’t. You. Dare.” Rick growled, but you could still see the twinkle in his eyes. He rushed over and tried to grab the phone from your hands, but you dodged, twirling just out of his reach. A wide shit-eating grin spread across your face as you hit the send button and then tossed Rick the phone. “Here you go!”

He stared dumbfounded at your phone now in his hand. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

A small ding could be heard as Rick’s phone alerted him to a new message. Picking it up off the counter where he had left it charging, he glanced at the screen and then rolled his eyes in your direction. Turning it to face you, you could see the video you had just sent him with the bold message “GOT YOU” right above it.

“We both know you were going to try to downplay the fact I actually scared you. Just say you were startled, or your instincts kicked in. So, I wanted to make sure you saw the proof because there’s no denying that! I got the drop on and scared the great Rick Flag!” You smugly crossed your arms over your chest, daring him to refute the evidence.

Rick sighed sadly. “No, you’re right, darlin’. A man’s got to know when he’s been beaten. You scared me.”

You walked over and wrapped your arms around his neck. “That’s right I did. Doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

“No. I understand why it bothers you. I’m sorry, and I’ll stop.”

“Thank you, babe. That’s all that I ask.”

Rick ducked his head so it hovered just a few inches above yours. “You know…. That could have been pretty dangerous. I am a highly trained soldier. If I had my gun on me, I might have seriously hurt you.”

“I thought about that, but I figured the chances of you having your gun just after coming out of the shower were very low. And it’s not like you could really hide it in that towel.” You leaned in closer to kiss him, but something stopped you. Trying to hide your smirk, you said, “Well, maybe I was wrong…. It seems like you’re packing something under there.”

Blushing slightly, Rick murmured, “Wouldn’t you like to find out?” He closed the distance between you as his lips crushed into yours. You ran one hand through the damp hair on the back of his head as the other hand ran along the top of the towel, right where the material met his skin. Just as your hand started to ease it lower, Rick’s work phone began to ring. He sighed annoyedly as he stepped away from you to grab it. Growling at the terrible timing, he answered, “Flag here.”

“Oh. My. God.” You could hear Harley’s voice squeaking through the phone even without it being on speaker. “I can’t believe she did it! She got you so good!.... And speaking of so good, I really like what I’m seeing here, Colonel. How ‘bout you wear just that towel on the next mission?”

Rick glared daggers at you as you shrugged sheepishly. “I might have sent it to a few other people besides just you.”

Hanging up the phone, Rick took a few steps towards you, a mischievous look in his eyes. “Oh, you are so dead.” You squealed as you rushed down the hall towards the bedroom, Rick close on your heels as he slammed the door behind him, his towel dropping to the floor.

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Sometimes a family is a girl, her pet rat, a traumatized soldier, and his feral girlfriend

Got a prompt over on AO3 that was basically just Sebastian being Rick's lil buddy and it turned into Rick and Harley accidentally adopting Cleo and Sebastian.

Rick jolts awake at the sound of a soft knock on the front door. He can just make it out over the sound of the torrential downpour that’s going on outside. The knock gets louder. Harley stirs beside him but doesn’t wake.

As a precaution, he grabs her baseball bat from the corner of their room and goes to answer the door. He cracks it open, bat hidden behind the door, and is shocked at what he sees.

Ratcatcher Two is standing out in the hallway, soaked to the bone and shivering. She’s got Sebastian the rat cradled in her hands.

Before he can say anything, Harley comes up and wraps her arms around him from behind. “Who’s at the door, baby?” she asks sleepily.

“Uh… It’s Cleo and Sebastian.”

“Hmm?” It takes a second for her brain to catch up but suddenly she’s wide awake and shoving him aside. “Oh my god! Get inside, hun, you must be freezing!”

Cleo sniffs and tells them, “I had to leave my living situation—it was becoming dangerous. We didn’t know where else to go. Sebastian figured out where you lived a while ago, Colonel Flag, since you saved him from Peacemaker.”

Sebastian waves from his spot in Cleo’s hands and Rick awkwardly waves back. It’s true that they’d saved each other back in Corto Maltese but it still feels weird to be waving at a rat.

He can hear water running and then Harley’s back. “C’mon, sweetie, let’s get ya into the shower so you can warm up. Towels are on top of the toilet and I got dry clothes for ya when ya get out.”

Once Cleo silently slips into the bathroom, she turns to Rick and says, “Baby, I love you but you’re absolutely useless right now.”

“Right, sorry. Lemme get the couch set up for her.”

Harley helps him wrangle a fitted sheet over the couch and stack several blankets and a pillow on top of it. Once that’s done he goes into the kitchen to make some quick breakfast sandwiches—his specialty. He even makes a tiny one for Sebastian.

He brings them out to the living room and he sees Cleo sitting on the couch with Harley. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms. He can hear her saying, “I had to get out of there. We were fine until it started raining and we couldn’t find anywhere dry to sleep.”

“Well you’re stayin’ here as long as ya need to.”

He sets the sandwiches on the coffee table and Sebastian immediately starts eating his but Cleo looks wary. “C’mon, eat up. You must be starving.”

She reaches for the sandwich and takes a small bite. “Thank you, Colonel Flag.”

“Please call me Rick.”

He goes to the bathroom to clean up the wet towels and hang up Cleo’s soaked clothes, figuring that she doesn’t want an audience while she eats.

Harley’s tucking her into bed on the couch when he gets back, Sebastian fast asleep on the pillow next to her head.

She creeps back over to him, flicking the lamp off and bathing the apartment in darkness. They stand there and watch the pair for a second. She leans against his side and sighs, “Can we keep her?”

He chuckles. “Yeah, we can keep her. C’mon, let’s go to bed, Harls.”

----------------

Cleo awakens slowly from the best sleep she’s ever experienced. It takes her a second to recognize her surroundings but then she remembers last night. She stumbles towards the sound of voices and the smell of bacon.

“Sometimes I wish I had two of ya,” she hears Harley say.

As she walks into the kitchen she vaguely registers the couple wrapped up in each other’s arms as Harley sips from a coffee mug. “Why do you want two Colonel Flags?” she asks sleepily.

Harley promptly spits her coffee all over Colonel Flag, which immediately wakes Cleo up. Had she said something wrong? He’s now blushing furiously, which just confuses her more.

“I’ll tell ya when you’re older,” Harley manages to wheeze out once she’s done coughing.

Oh. Oh! That explains a lot.

Colonel Flag excuses himself so he can change his shirt and Harley busies herself with getting a plate down from the cupboard and loading it up with scrambled eggs and bacon. She sets it on the table and says, “Dig in!”

Colonel Flag comes back with a dry shirt on and says, “Okay, so we’re all just gonna forget the last two minutes and focus on finding Ratcatcher Two here a place to live.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay, Sebastian and I will be okay on the streets again.” It’s really all she’s ever known besides the four walls of a prison cell.

“Fuck that!” Harley says. “Sweetie, we can’t in good conscience just let ya be homeless again.”

“Why?”

“You… you literally told me you got threatened with a knife yesterday, hun.”

“Oh well we’re not gonna go back there obviously.”

She’d been squatting at the old orphanage with a group of homeless teenagers and that had been working out fine for the last month. That is, until things turned violent when one of them got too high and had a bad trip.

She doesn’t argue this time when Harley insists that she needs to be off the streets and that she thinks there’s a few units available in their building.

-------------

Cleo trails behind the couple as they make their way down to the leasing office. Her heart is pounding and she’s trying to keep her breakfast down. She already knows she can’t afford a place in this building—she doesn’t even have a job. She’s been resorting to petty theft to stay afloat but hasn’t tried anything big like a bank robbery again. The last thing she wants is to get thrown in jail again.

The property manager—a balding man in an ill-fitting suit—eyes the three of them as they approach. Cleo hangs back in the corner while Colonel Flag and Harley stand there imposingly.

“So, here’s the deal,” Harley begins. “Our friend Cleo here is lookin’ for a place to live. Got any openings?”

He snorts. “Sure, but I highly doubt she can afford them.”

She can feel her face heating. He’s certainly not wrong. She clutches Sebastian tighter, who squeaks at her soothingly.

“How much?”

“Fifteen hundred.”

“Nah, that ain’t gonna work. Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna rent a place to her for three hundred a month, no more than that.”

“Do you know how much money I’d lose if I did that? I’m already renting to you two assholes practically for free!”

“Ya say that like I’m supposed to give a shit. Listen, we’re the reason you don’t have more supervillains crawlin’ all over this place but if that won’t persuade you, I got a baseball bat with your name on it.”

The property manager pales and manages to stammer out, “Ah, I think I do actually have a unit. But, uh, it won’t be available ‘til next month.”

“Perfect!” Harley chirps. She turns to Cleo and throws her arm around her shoulders. “Looks like you’re stayin’ with us for a couple weeks!”

As they’re leaving the property manager’s office, Harley remarks, “Ya know, I think that License to Kill shirt I got ya for your birthday really helped our case.”

Colonel Flag sighs and says, “Harls, we really need to do laundry.”

“Not it!”

The couple continues to bicker about whose turn it is to do laundry as they make their way back to the apartment.

“I could do it,” Cleo pipes up from behind them. It’s the least she can do to thank them.

They immediately stop arguing and turn to look back at her. In unison, they say, “Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Harley elaborates, “You’re our guest, hun. We’re not gonna make ya do chores. Especially because it’s his turn to do laundry!”

Colonel Flag pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “Harls, we’ve been over this. I gave you a break last week because you were hungover. It’s your turn!”

“Most of it is your laundry anyway!” Harley whines.

“Because you keep stealing my shirts!”

“… Okay, ya got me there.”

------------------

Cleo wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she knocked on Colonel Flag’s door. She wasn’t entirely surprised to see him living with Harley Quinn, after their epic love confession in the ruins of Jotunheim. What she was surprised to see was just how domestic the couple’s life had become.

Over the next few weeks she listens to them bicker like an old married couple about some of the stupidest things but she also sees the way Harley comes up behind Colonel Flag for a hug every night while he cooks dinner, and how she’s always making sure he’s taken his meds at bedtime, and the way he carries Harley to the couch when she’s complaining of cramps and just wants to lay on the couch and eat raw cookie dough all day.

He’s even carried Cleo to the couch once when she embarrassingly fell asleep at the breakfast table—she really doesn’t function well early in the morning.

She’d woken up with her head on Harley’s lap and the TV volume on low.

“Mornin’, sweetie! Sleep well?” she’d chirped, just as Colonel Flag was carrying her abandoned breakfast plate over to the coffee table.

Having been homeless or in prison her whole life, she essentially needs a crash course in being a functioning adult in society. She’s never opened up a bank account, learned how to cook, or had a job.

The first order of business is opening up a bank account, which Harley helps her do. Ten thousand dollars magically appear in said bank account the next day and Cleo doesn’t question it. It’ll give her a nest egg to live off of until she figures out the whole job situation—if she even wants one, Harley comments. Being a criminal is a perfectly respectable career, in her opinion. Cleo needs to think on it.

While Harley is dragging her all over Gotham to various stores so she can buy things for her new apartment and clothes and other necessities, Sebastian is having the time of his life with Colonel Flag. It warms her heart to see them interact. Sebastian helps with the cooking and every Friday they watch football together.

“Baby, we’re gonna borrow the d-bag truck. Where’re the keys?”

“Stop calling it that,” Colonel Flag deadpans, without even taking his eyes off the TV. He rummages around in his pocket and tosses the keys over his shoulder, Harley catching them easily.

“Why do you call it a d-bag truck?” Cleo asks as they make their way to the building’s parking garage.

The car they stop in front of is a massive black pickup truck, and suddenly the moniker makes sense.

They come home from furniture shopping three hours later to find the boys sulking.

“Did your sportsball team win?” Harley asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sebastian squeaks indignantly in agreement.

It’s with a mixture of sadness and hope that she receives the keys to her new apartment on the first of the next month. This place has become home for her. She’s never felt safer or more cared for than she has in the last few weeks. She’ll miss watching movies on the couch with Harley and watching Colonel Flag and Sebastian cooking together. She’ll even miss the couple’s constant bickering about who’s responsible for doing laundry (somehow the answer always seems to be neither of them).

The sadness doesn’t last long though. She’s been moved in for two days when the couple shows up on her front doorstep, inviting her over for family dinner, as Harley puts it.

She ends up at their place every Tuesday and Saturday night for dinner going forward.

[practically-an-x-man]

"What is a 'slay queen', and why did they just call me that?"

Prompt idea for you

Oooooh this is an Eris prompt if I've ever seen one

____ This Time It's Not So Literal

Word Count: 1.5k Content Warnings: none really, it's pretty cute ____

"This goes against everything I stand for," Eris grumbled, his fingers twitching for his spear. He didn't have it with him, regrettably, and their restless fingers found the fabric of their skirt instead.

"You look great, though," Rick offered, glancing down from their right side. Eris shrugged, fighting hard not to feel uncomfortable with the clothing.

She ran her hands down the front of her sundress, smoothing down the fabric. It was dark red, the color of old blood, and the fabric rippled loosely around her legs as she walked. His arms were bare, showing off their array of freckles and scars. At least it had pockets. He had a knife, only about three inches long and sheathed in a leather case, tucked into one of them.

God, he wanted his spear.

"A thousand years, and I've never worn a dress for longer than a few minutes," he muttered, "I guarantee it."

"I'll have to take your word for it." Rick said, a faint smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, "You don't like dresses?"

"It's not that I don't like them, I just..." Eris huffed, taking loose fistfuls of their skirt for emphasis, "How the hell are you supposed to fight in this? I mean, it's got movement, but there's just so much fabric. It gets in the way, someone could grab it... it's a hazard. It's just as bad as wearing a cape."

"Point of today's that we shouldn't have to do any fighting," Rick pointed out, "Besides, I'm sure you'll just cut that skirt off if we happen to run into something."

"Damn right I will."

"Besides, all I said was to pick a disguise," he added a moment later, "Why pick a dress if you don't want to wear it?"

"Because it's pretty," Eris sighed, taking an extra step to make the fabric ripple a little more dramatically, "And I didn't think it through at the time."

They were approaching a fountain, spitting jets of water high into the air, and Eris hopped up easily onto the low concrete wall surrounding it. If nothing else, it was a lovely day for espionage, and a lovely park to spend it in. The grass was green and the sun was high, and their dress seemed to shine like a jewel when it caught the right light. He kept finding Rick's eyes on him- much more than usual, for whatever reason.

She walked along the edge of the fountain with loose, casual steps, letting her eyes scan the scene ahead of her. Rick was squinting. Eris wasn't. Her eyes were a lot darker than his were, after all. She was built for bright summer days like this. Under the warm sunlight, her skin practically glowed.

"He's on the other side of the park," he said, his voice light and casual, "Down by the water. Feeding the ducks."

"Hm. Looks like we'll be having ourselves a little picnic, then," Rick replied, lifting the basket in his other hand, "If we want to be close enough to listen, that is. Good thing I came prepared."

"I'm starting to think this is all by design," Eris said, their smile flashing bright as they looked down at him. Standing on the edge of the fountain, it was one of the rare occasions she stood taller than him. The backsplash of the water sent a cool, gentle mist over her skin, and she allowed herself to bask into the feeling for a moment or two.

"Yeah? What design's that?"

"I think our target's a ruse." he said in the same faintly amused tone of voice, "I think you set this up so you could court me."

"It's a very real target, darlin'. Straight from Waller's list." Rick responded, glancing from Eris down to the other side of the park, "The fact that I opted to catch him here, though... alright, maybe that was me."

He lifted his free hand up to them, palm up in invitation. Eris just stared at it for a moment or two.

"Rick Flag, are you seriously suggesting I hold your hand?"

"We're s'posed to be a couple."

"We are a couple." Eris pointed out with a shrug, "By most modern definitions. Aren't we?"

"I mean we're s'posed to look like a couple." he corrected, though his fingers twitched like he was about to withdraw his hand. It did look a little awkward there, held up in an unacknowledged invitation like that. Rick shrugged. "I'll let go if it looks like there'll be a fight. I promise."

It was the same reason she wasn't very fond of hugs. One hand devoted to holding onto someone else's was one hand out of use in an emergency. Or even worse - not that they thought they were in danger of this with Rick - that someone could get a more dangerous hold on her, like a bear hug with a knife to her throat, with just a well-timed tug. Besides, he was on their right side- their dominant side. The side where her only weapon was tucked into her pocket.

It was... unsafe.

Eris sighed and placed her hand in his own. Rick beamed so brightly it looked like a second sun. It made something flutter deep within her.

Still holding Rick's hand, he hopped off the edge of the fountain and smiled at the way it made his skirt float out around him. His feet hit the ground, sandals scratching against the pavement, and they couldn't resist twirling themself around Rick's hand. It made their dress flare out, rippling like soft red flower petals on the surface of a pond.

"Slay, queen!" A passer-by called out, drawing Eris' eye. The stranger was tall, with multicolored hair and a panting terrier on a leash trotting out ahead of them. Eris' brow furrowed, and she tilted her head at the stranger, but they'd already shifted focus.

"Rick?"

"Hm?"

"What is a 'slay queen', and why did they just call me that?" Eris asked, rather bluntly. Rick let out a strained cough, poorly disguising a laugh.

"It's a good thing, doll. It, ah, it means they like your dress." he said, clearly biting back a smile, "That was kind of cute, that thing you did there."

Their expression darkened at his use of the word cute, but Rick seemed undeterred. He reached over, managing some kind of... maneuver that ended with his arm across Eris' shoulders, and lightly tugged her in against his side. It was far too smooth for him to be annoyed. The clever moves always got him.

"You're not allowed to be so charming, cowboy." they told him. They could feel Rick chuckle from beside them.

"Yeah? Why not?"

"It's... unbecoming of me."

"Unbecoming?" he teased, "I know you know more modern slang than that."

"Sometimes the old words work best." Eris pointed out, then twisted around to press their knuckle into the space between his ribs. It couldn't have hurt, but it made Rick squirm a little. "And you're changing the subject."

"Which is?"

"Which is stop it." she huffed, "I think you're starting to forget who I am."

"You are a thousand-year-old metahuman who claims to be war incarnate, and I believe it. You've got so much blood on your hands, you could make your own damn ocean. I didn't forget that, hon," Rick said, then shrugged, "I just don't care. Believe it or not, wartime, you're not the first bloodthirsty meta I've spent time with."

"You're gonna regret that when you get your throat slit before your fortieth birthday."

"I'm forty-three." he drawled, then fired her another bright grin, "And maybe I'll live to be ninety, and you'll be holdin' my hand at my deathbed when I kick it. You'd made a pretty last sight, doll, I gotta say."

Eris scoffed and ducked their head, refusing to let him see the way they flushed.

"I thought I told you to stop that."

"I thought you'd learned by now that I don't listen," Rick fired back, grinning at her. The sun brought out a few different colors in his eyes, their usual muddy gold-hazel blooming into a surprisingly vivid green around the edges. Eris held his gaze for a moment or two longer than she really needed to. She always thought he had such interesting eyes. Almost.... lion-like, in a way.

Rick's arm tightened around their shoulders in a bizarre little side-hug. Shit. He'd noticed the staring. He didn't seem to care, but he'd noticed.

"Where's the target?" Eris muttered, craning his neck to look past Rick's broad frame. He thought he saw a glimmer of amusement pass over Rick's face, but it was gone with the mention of the mission at hand.

"Still feeding the ducks," he replied, then lifted the basket still held loosely in his other hand, "Should we get on with our picnic, then?"

[justreblogginfics]

Okay, so I’m not too familiar with this character, I know I’m gonna have to be now, because this absolutely amazing!

My heart couldn’t take it, it hurt so much! And I liked it! 😭 The angst was just so good and how you wrote how he was feeling, every detail about it was just awing to read. I couldn’t get enough of this, it was so so so good! 😩

in no time at all, this will be the distant past.

rick flag x reader

summary: as rick returns home from corto maltese, he finds solace in you

brief nsfw, 18+

word count: 2.9k

a/n: idk man is it fluff? i guess? angst? hurt/comfort? is it good? is it bad? who knows! whatever this is, i hope you like it! (:

Rick woke you from a fitful sleep when he entered your apartment at sometime past three AM.

You could hear his shuffling, the shifting of the floorboards under his feet and the sound of the kitchen sink croaking to life for him to fill a glass.

With sleep heavy limbs and sheet streaked skin, you pushed yourself onto your elbows and waited for him. He’d been on mission for four days and was no doubt spent and bone weary. You knew whatever greeting he could garner for you would be brief, but you didn’t mind. He’d likely grab your face with calloused hands and place three kisses to your face - forehead, nose, lips - in that order, before hushing you back to sleep and heading to the en suite to wash off all the grime he had accumulated while saving the world.

You’d usually fall back asleep by the time he was clean and shower warm, fully relaxed and content with the fact that you had felt him for yourself, that you had seen him in the flesh.

There were times when he was off on a particularly long or dangerous mission, where your mind would play tricks on you. You’d see what you swore was his board figure out of the corner of your eye, thought you’d hear his voice calling you from the balcony, and wake with sudden adrenaline that you had heard his key in the door. The only time that his apparitions would stop their haunting was when you finally knew he was back with you in the safety of your home. It was when your mind cleared it’s worried fog, allowed your heart to stop it’s painful clench and let your muscles unwind and soften from their perpetual tension.

But when you watched him slink through your bedroom door tonight, you felt no familiar relief. Your eyes widened and you straightened yourself against the headboard in shock at the sight of him.

In an obnoxious yellow shirt that he had certainly not left in, he looked downtrodden and broken. Blood and soot matted in his hair, his skin pasty white with blushes purple and green, and he seemed to be covered in scrapes and cuts of varying thickness and severity. He walked with a noticeable limp and his clothing was tattered and filthy. Rick had come home in different stages of damage over the years, but you had never seen him like this.

“Baby? What happened?” you asked, still stunned at his disrepair.

Rick looked at you, his eyes deep set and shadowed. His bottom lip twitched and his jaw clenched so heavy you could see his muscles pop and shift in his neck. His expression journeyed from surprise at your wakeness, to shame, and then back to the twisted pain he had come in with. You watched as he took a deep breath, his chest noticeably shuttering on the exhale and your worry began to mount. You refused to wait idly in bed any longer, you threw off the blankets with the purpose to rush to him and mend him the best you could (before scolding him for coming home before getting sufficient medical attention). But Rick beat you to it. In two long strides he met you on the corner of the mattress and stopped you from standing with a hand to your shoulder. His palm was uncharacteristically cold, and you could feel the caked dust and dried blood depositing to your skin.

He towered above you like a collapsing building, swaying and buckling under his own weight until he tumbled to his knees. You tried to catch him as he fell, but gravity was stronger. The room quaked under the clatter of his knees and you cringed at the thought of his already fractured body going through anymore injury. With his free hand, Rick came to grip your waist in a tight hold before his head fell to your lap. He had toppled so quickly, it seemed like his body had finally lost it’s fight, and with that came gut wrenching tears.

You held him to you like a woman crazed, clawing and grasping at his body with your hands and feet to enrapture him in the cocoon of your touch. Your crazed embrace reminded you of a painting you had once seen, of a sullied soldier come home to collapse at the feet of his wife in search of forgiveness for all that he had seen and done.

Panic festered in your gut and spread through your blood like a virus as you held him. Your mind pulsed with questions, concerns, and fear of the worst; all of which were just begging to fall from your lips. But you kept quiet aside from the murmured coos and gentle attempts to calm him. He seemed next to inconsolable as his body shook against your own and he howled with a ferocity you had never heard from him. You had nursed him through many tearful reunions and terrified recollections of his missions, but never like this. All you could do is twine him with your limbs and hope that your love for him was palpable enough to heal him. Or at least enough to get his sobs to stop.

After what felt like an eon of salt water and snot on the fabric of your sleepwear, Rick’s cries began to cease and his body stopped its frightening tremble. You stroked his rumpled head until he was well enough to raise from your lap and fall back to his heels to look at you. His face was brightly flushed from his crying fit, damp with tears, sweat and snot. His eyes were glossed red and his face was in a quivering frown. Never had you seen your man so broken.

“Rick, please,” you choked through your own set of burgeoning tears, “what in the living hell happened?”

He let out a hiccupped sigh as his brows creased, “shit got real, real bad out there. It was like nothin’ I’d ever seen.”

You didn’t realize it, but you had begun to hold your breath.

“It was messy, and bloody and we lost more people than ever. Barely made it out myself. I ain’t sayin’ that to scare you, but… I barely made it out alive. There was… baby, it was so bad.”

You hand clenched tight in the remains of his t-shirt as he continued.

“And just… she was never about helpin’ anyone. Never about order or peace. None of ‘em are. It was always about whatever she wanted.”

“Who? Whose she? Amanda?” you asked in a frenzied whisper.

“Yeah, Amanda,” he said her name with a sneer, “she never cared ‘bout those kids or any civilians. It was always about her agenda.”

“Hasn’t it always been?”

Rick shook his head, “not like this. Never like this.”

“Oh, Rick,” you slipped your bottom lip into your mouth and watched as his gaze became a thousand miles long.

“I’ve done things I ain’t proud of, but I stopped at this. Waller’s fuckin’ crazy, darlin’ and… there’s gonna be fallout, but I don’t care. I’m tired. I’m out. I’m done,” he blinked back to reality and focused back to you.

“You’re done? You’re quitting the Task Force?”

“The Task Force, ARGUS, all of it. I can’t trust any of those fuckers. Not for shit, not for anything. They don’t value anything over their own hides.”

You moved to caress his cheek with a meek noise of sadness and Rick moved to cover it with his palm.

“S’not worth it. None of it is. I know what I want, and who I want to be. Who I want to be with. And none of those things have to do with Waller and all of ‘em got to do with you. With you, and the life I want for us.”

You whispered his name and he kissed your fingertips.

“I’m out baby, and all I want right now is to be with you.”

His confession was shocking, as he had never made it as sweeping as he just had.

Rick’s job was of frequent contention for him. Before he became involved with Amanda Waller and her shady dealings, he enjoyed his work. What he did for ARGUS fulfilled him, made him feel like he was making a positive difference even when his days were grueling or tough. He’d come home wrapped in bandages, with spiky black sutures sticking up like cactus needles from his skin; but he always came home to you with his values and morality intact.

That all changed when he was hand picked to head Task Force X.

Rick was a noble man, raised on the bible and law and order, had only ever seen right and wrong like black and white. Over the time he spent as the captain of his round up of criminals, he gained the ability to see grey. He learned the value of doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. It was one of the many things you respected about him. He enjoyed growing as a person, opening his eyes to the world and molting his skin to a new way of thinking.

Though, as time went on and Waller’s missions for the squad encroached on the grey and bled into malevolent black, Rick hadn’t been the same. With each following operation, any residual gratification had drained from his eyes and his conscience came home in tatters each time.

So, of course, there had been talks of Rick finding a new job. Sometimes he would rage the idea to you as he paced in the kitchen. His face beet red and his hand pulling harsh draws through his hair as he fumed about Waller and her constituents. There were whispered promises over secure phone lines of a better life when he would call from wherever in the world he was. There were jokes he’d make when you’d pass a help wanted sign or when he’d thumb through the classifieds in the paper,

“I’d be much more appreciated as a dishwasher, I’ll tell ya that much,” he’d snark and flip the page.

But none of his past declarations had ever felt this sincere or emotionally earnest.

With a deep breath, you filled your lungs with air to help clarify what you were about to say to him. You were also a whirlwind of emotions at this point, feeling tugs of worry, shock and relief. A relief that maybe you would never have to say goodbye to him again. No more thinking discarded laundry piles were him late at night; no more draped sheets over picture frames in a desperate search to ward off your longing for him; no more lone crying sessions when he’d kiss you goodbye before dawn and promise to be back soon, when you both knew that simply wasn’t a guarantee he could make.

Before you could gather your thoughts to speak, Rick shook his head to preemptively stop you.

“Not now,” he murmured, “not yet.”

He pushed up to rest on his knee and towered to his full height. He removed his hand from yours and you let it fall loosely to your lap as Rick’s eyes roamed over you.

“I just need you, right now. I need to remember what good things are like.”

His board palms came to gently rest on your waist, fingers falling in ascending order as he began to push your shirt up your torso. His movements were deliberate and gained heat as he skated the material across your skin in sensual strokes. Rick moved the fabric over you in a maddening massage as he felt you in all the right ways through the frustrating barrier.

“I just need to feel you.”

Of course, you let him.

Rick fucked you like a man starved, like a man who had gone mute and could only express his love through his body. He confessed his passion with his mouth between your legs, and his devotion with swirling thrusts of his cock inside you. He kissed your mouth with tender reminders of affection, and messy hashings of possessive infatuation that reminded you that you were his. He plucked orgasms from your body like it was his purpose, his satisfaction only coming when he knew he could add a mental tally mark of your peaked pleasure.

Your thighs stung with flowering pain from his powerful drive, but you only wanted more of him. You gripped his ass to push him deeper inside you and hooked your heels around his body to keep him in place. You pulled at his hair and clothed him in his arms, hands wandering around his beautiful form, but never breaking your tight embrace. You wanted all of him, fully and completely, and you needed him to know.

You think he did, you hoped he did.

After his impressive stamina finally petered out and he stuttered his hips into yours for the last time, he fell to his elbows and your panting breathes mixed with the pungent smell of sex that hung now in your bedroom. Still heaving, Rick brought his slick lips upward, to plant a kiss to your forehead, then the tip of your nose, and a final one to your lips. His post mission calling card, the one that told you he was ok, that he was home, that he was finally safe.

With your cheek to his bare chest and your arm slung over his waist, you felt Rick’s fingers dip up and down the notches of your spine. He drew circles over your skin and tapped gentle tunes to your ribs and you swore he was taking inventory of your body, making sure that you were still as intact and soft as he left you. You were, save from the marks he had just left on your body from his intense love making.

When the feeling had returned to your limbs and your brain could form coherent thoughts, Rick’s unsettling return surfaced again. He was still dirty, the sheets (and yourself, for that matter) would need to be washed and some of his wounds still needed tending, too. While it seemed anything serious had been patched up, if haphazardly, he had a few cuts that had begun to pill with fresh blood. You needed to pull him back to himself enough to convince him to clean up, and hopefully enough to tell you exactly what had happened out there in Mexico.

“You know we’re gonna have to talk about it sooner or later,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence that had grown around you.

Rick sighed, “can it wait ‘til tomorrow?”

“Maybe,” you wiggled from his embrace to kneel beside him, much to his dismay, “but we have to deal with these, baby.”

You gestured idly to a few of his cuts.

“Some are still clearly open, and just waiting for infection.”

Rick said nothing, just stayed in his reclined position against the pillows and reached out to brush a splotch of rusty blood (his blood) from your skin.

“I know that these things take time for you to talk about, I’ve been with you long enough to know that,” you nudged him with a small smile and he puffed amusement through his nose, “but you scared the hell out of me tonight, Rick. Fuck, you sorta still are, if I’m being honest.”

He frowned, “I never want to scare you, darlin’. I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head quickly and bent to kiss his sternum.

“I just need to know your ok,” you said to his skin, “and I won’t be scared anymore.”

When you leaned back, Rick’s face crumbled back into the man who had entered your room hours before. He looked tired and conflicted and war torn. His jaw swiveled as his tongue slipped over his teeth, and he swallowed thickly.

“I’m not ok,” he said in a resolute tone.

“What happened out there…” he trailed off and shook his head.

He then looked up into your eyes and reached for you. Rick pulled you to shuffle closer to him and arranged his hand on your rib cage, his thumb traced the swell of your breast.

“But I’m far more ok now that I’m with you. And knowing that we have an entire future in front of us, together, that will be so much better.”

Your heart constricted in your chest and filled with thick emotion. It wasn’t what you needed to hear from him, what you needed to help him heal, but it was enough. It was more than enough for now.

“Alright,” you said in a near silent whisper as your throat stung, “I love you.”

Rick closed his eyes as you spoke, like he wanted to soak in your words, ones that you had said a thousand times before, and commit to memory. Like he wanted to block out every other sense or distraction he could that could have him forgetting this moment.

“I love you, too,” he said and opened his eyes, “more than you could ever know.”

You eventually pulled him from the ruined sheets to the bathroom where you shared a shower, and he let you patch him up the best you could. His hands never left your body, stretching and contorting in whatever awkward way he had to when you went to retrieve towels or gather supplies. He kept you in his grasp and in his eyeline, his own reminder that he was ok, that he was home, and that he was finally safe.

i hope you enjoyed and if you did, please let me know commets, likes and reblogs!

xoxoxoxooxoxxox

[kitkatpadywaks]

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Key: 🔥Smut - 💢Angst - ❤️Fluff - 💀Dark Themes - 💕Slow Burn - ❤️‍🩹Hurt/Comfort - ✔️Complete(Series) - ❌Incomplete(Series)

Last Updated: 19th November 2024

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Kang the Conqueror x Reader

Inevitable

Summary: you don’t know kang, but he knows you

Peter Parker x Reader

My Safe Place (is Next to You)

Summary: after being outed as spider-man, peter’s life has become a mess. he finds solace with you

Scream

Ethan Landry x Reader

Fake Blood (E)

Summary: spoiler: the blood isn’t fake. alone in your apartment after your friends had been attacked, you ask ethan to stop by. he does in an unexpected way and you get more than you bargained for

Whispers

Summary: request: “fluff w/ ethan Landry where he thinks she’s asleep so he whispers I love you…”

The Hunger Games

Coriolanus Snow x Reader

Always Forever (E*)

Summary: coriolanus finally lets himself acknowledge that he can’t stand to see you with anyone but him

Eventually (E*)

Summary: coriolanus could appreciate irony, but the one person he desires more than anything wanting nothing to do with him pushes him to new territory

Breaking Bad

Saul Goodman x Reader

Taking Care

Summary: after jesse beats up saul you help fix him up

The Boys

Soldier Boy x Reader

The Bet (E)

Summary: butcher leaves you to keep on eye on soldier boy and things become interesting when a deck of cards gets involved

<< back to main masterlist

[princessmisery666]

In case you missed it 💜

For make up title game: "I Would Do Anything For Love.... Including That"

Rick Flag x Reader.

Not beta’d. posted from my phone sorry if formatting is off.

You're pouting, full on toddler pouting because you think it will help sway Rick’s decision.

Rick knows he’s going to agree, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you, including what you’ve asked of him, despite the shit he knows he’ll get from Task Force X. But it will be worth every joke he receives because he likes the way you beg. The imploring tone you use, pressing your body against his, running your hands up and down the exposed skin of his arm, lips ghosting over the shell of his ear. It sets him ablaze and he has to swallow down a groan.

If that weren’t enough to make him agree he especially loves that in order to get what you want you bribe him, offering him something he wants in exchange for something he’d do for free because he just wants to spend time with you.

“So I wear this to the movies?” Examining the multicoloured hoodie, “and you’ll come to the weapons seminar with me?” He asks, setting out the deal.

“Yes,” you say, looking up at him from under your lashes. “I promise.”

He’s getting the better half of the deal, spending eight hours giving lectures to rent a cops and then spending his evenings with you in exchange for him wearing a piece of clothing and sitting through a movie.

He sighs, faking that it’s an inconvenience but it’s really not. “Fine.”

“Yay,” you squeal, jumping up and kissing his cheek, “you're the best.” You skip toward the locker room, excitement not allowing you to keep your feet on the ground.

Rick watches you go, sighing sadly this time, “I love you.”

Though he’s not sure you haven’t already figured it out, maybe he’ll find the courage to tell you that soon. For now he’ll keep showing you, the best way he knows how.

Made up fic titles.

[reveluving]

It's missing Rick hours, so why not talk about Rick and (Y/N) (crazy) family fluff!

warnings: fluff & humour!

a/n: Dysfunctional but lovable family fluff >>> Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I had fun thinking about it! Don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

check out my j. kinnaman m.list for more Rick content!

Do you guys remember the Dee Dee twins from Batman Beyond? I know they're supposed to be Harley's granddaughters but imagine if this takes place post-TSS events, and yes, Rick lives, okay?

He's always been—mf engaged to (Y/N) the second he woke up from unconsciousness and has lived together in a quiet lil' neighbourhood since.

But anyways!

I can't stop thinking about them being Harley's goddaughters or protégés instead, and one day, she begs you and Rick to take care of them for the week while away for a once in a lifetime gig. 

“You listen to your aunt (Y/N) and uncle Rick while I’m gone!” She’d say, though, she should’ve known better than to think her own carbon copies, of all people, would listen. 

I can just imagine you and the girls being joined at the hip, telling them stories from your days as a criminal, even if you’ve left that life behind. Rick’s the ‘grumpy uncle’ they love to annoy. But! They may be opposites, but the second someone talks bad about you?

Rick will see red, no doubt, but if he hears the girls discuss on how to get rid of the loud-mouthing pos, he wouldn't encourage it. But he sure as hell won’t stop them either—these are Harley girls we’re talking about; it’s not like they listen to him all the time. And, well, if they proceeded with whatever they had in mind, well, the bastard deserved it, didn’t he? Nobody really liked Mr Walker anyway.

What they'd do throughout the week their beloved aunt (Y/N) and uncle Rick, a headcanon:

Switching conversation topics when they're bored at the flower shop you work at. One second, it would be about the flowers, which, let's be honest, they're barely listening to, only to excitedly ask about what crimes you've done were the most memorable ones. Without the presence of customers, of course.

Pranking or scaring away any women who visits Rick's workplace solely for the purpose of gawking or flirting with the man, despite knowing he's married. A simple hiss or a quick display of the baseball bat they had with them ("We like playing baseball, don't we, Dee Dee?" "Yes, we do, Dee Dee!) and the visitor's out of the door!

Not once have you nor Rick seen these two play baseball.

They just really love their aunt (Y/N) and uncle Rick, okay!

BONUS: If you also have to babysit Bruce the hyena, the twins would sneak him out of the house at 3 AM, purposefully messing with Mr Walker's front yard and making sure he sees it. He didn't see the girls, however, so, when he tells his neighbours about a hyena on the loose, most of them just he was the one with the loose screws.

I initially thought Rick would work as a lumberjack, but, imagine if he was the sheriff of the neighbourhood?? Mr Walker calls him to complain about the hyena problem, obviously unaware of the culprits silently snickering at one another as they watch him desperately demand for 'justice'.

"Mr Walker, I personally don't think it's possible for a hyena to cross the city undetected for the sole purpose of terrorising just your garden," Rick responded calmly, though, he was unable to bite back the condescending hint in his words, "But, we'll look into it."

Once Walker's out, looking more stressed now that even the sheriff himself was looking at him funny, Rick would glance at the twins, raising a questioning brow at their futile attempts to look innocent before returning to his report.

"Good job." He'd say nonchalantly, and rather than looking peeved or disappointed, they spotted the small smile on his face. He didn't bother turning when they high-fived.

But other than the fact that he's been cockblocked since their arrival, and honest to God, it's been driving him nuts, they've made your and his days much livelier than the usual.

I can see it now; you're all watching TV, Rick holding you against him with one arm around you while he leisurely pets Bruce's mane with the other. Similar to the beloved house hyena, the twins sat on the floor in front of you, listening to them cheer for the antagonist and argue about what's for breakfast tomorrow.

Yes, the Flag's were quite the household, it seems.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚ 

[lacontroller1991]

Fluff/WhumpTOBER 2024

Whoop whoop, we're back baby! I am very excited for this years prompts!! Prompts taken from @flufftober and @whumptober

Most will be written in terms of female pronouns (if not from a first person perspective) as that's what I'm familiar with.

Day 1: Lost Pet Meet/Race Against The Clock: Edward Teller (Benny Safdie)

Day 2: "Left. Other left!"/Trust Issues: Deacon

Day 3: Favorite Scent/Set Up For Failure: Nick Valentine

Day 4: Market Day/Hallucinations: Modern AU Ernest Lawrence

Day 5: Acorn, Chestnut, Pine Cone/Sunburn: Cooper Howard

Day 6: Mistaken Identity/Not Realizing They're Injured: Robert MacCready

Day 7: Hoodie Weather/Only for Emergencies: Nick Valentine

Day 8: Chopping and Piling Wood/Sleep Deprivation: Ernest Lawrence

Day 9: "Don't do that!" "But..."/Obsession: Cooper Howard

Day 10: Bet, Game, Contest/Blow to the Head: Deacon

Day 11: Ingredients and Spells/Seeing Double: Deacon & Robert MacCready (ft Duncan and Shaun)

Day 12: "This is spooky." "Really?"/Starvation: Cooper Howard

Day 13: Attic, Cellar, Hidden Room/Alt:Secrets Revealed: Deacon

Day 14: Fantasy AU/Mundane AU/Left For Dead: Daryl Dixon

Day 15: "What are you wearing?" "It's laundry day!"/Childhood Trauma: Deacon

Day 16: Yes, No, Maybe/Necrosis: Ernest Lawrence

Day 17: Only One Bed/Nowhere Else to Go: Robert MacCready

Day 17 Alt Ending: Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Day 18: Bewitched/Revenge: Sole Survivor

Day 19: Yarn/Blood Trail: Nick Valentine

Day 20: Alt: "Wait, you love me?" "Always have."/Emotional Angst: Gordon Stevens

Day 21 *my birthday whoop*: Bonfire/Body Horror: Deacon and Robert MacCready

Day 22: Heirloom/Bleeding Through Bandages: Deacon

Day 23: Stormy Night/Forced Choice: Deacon and Robert MacCready (ft. Duncan and Shaun)

Day 24: Comfort Food/Radiation Poisoning: John Hancock

Day 25: Haunted House/Surgery: Modern AU Ernest Lawrence

Day 26: "I can't find it."/Nightmares: TBA

Day 27: Alt: "I hate it." "No, you don't."/Voiceless: Robert MacCready

Day 28: Lucky Charm/Denial: Rick Flag

Day 29: Time Capsule/Fatigue: Robert MacCready

Day 30: "Forever?"/Recovery: TBA

Day 31: Make a Wish/Asking for Help: Robert MacCready

If you guys would like to be tagged for any of these, please let me know!!! These will all be posted on AO3.

[satansapostle6]

Characters I Write For

Please message me with any ideas/requests! I need ideas(short fics or series)

Mostly write for fem!readers. I can write fluff, angst, smut, etc. If I’m not comfortable with something I can let you know

Character/Actor List

Favorite Characters/Actors To Write For

Draco Malfoy, Weasley twins

Jesse Pinkman

Paul Dano characters

Josh Hutcherson characters

Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Damon Salvatore, Silas, Klaus Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson

Rodrick Heffley

Bellamy Blake

Ezra Fitz(should probably make it clear I don’t condone)

Ian Duncan(Community)

Charlie(It’s Always Sunny)

Luke Castellan, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase

Finnick Odair

Tommy Shelby

Killian Hook

Paul Dano

Klitz(The Girl Next Door)

Dwayne Hoover(Little Miss Sunshine)

Edward Nashton(The Batman)

Calvin Weir-Fields(Ruby Sparks)

Brian Wilcox(Fast Food Nation)

Joby Taylor(For Ellen)

Nick Flynn(Being Flynn)

Josh Hutcherson

Peeta Mellark(The Hunger Games)

Mike Schmidt(FNAF)

Josh Futturman(Future Man)

Devon Bostick

Rodrick Heffley(Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Jasper Jordan(The 100)

Cillian Murphy

Tommy Shelby(Peaky Blinders)

Dr. Jonathan Crane(The Dark Knight)

Neil(Watching the Detectives)

Christian Bale

Patrick Bateman(American Psycho)

Bruce Wayne(The Dark Knight)

Breaking Bad

Jesse Pinkman

Jane Margolis

Saul Goodman

Harry Potter(Golden Trio Era)

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Hermione Granger

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Ginny Weasley

Luna Lovegood

Neville Longbottom

Draco Malfoy

Pansy Parkinson

Blaise Zabini

Theodore Nott

Daphne Greengrass

Adrian Pucey

Terence Higgs

Harry Potter(Marauders Era)

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

Lily Potter

Severus Snape

Regulus Black

Lucius Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy

Bellatrix Lestrange

Arthur Weasley

Harry Potter(Fantastic Beasts Era)

Newt Scamander

Queenie Goldstein

Leta Lestrange

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Luke Castellan

Thalia Grace

Jason Grace

+ Gods

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Emily Prentiss

Derek Morgan

JJ

Penelope Garcia

David Rossi

Elle Greenaway

Cat Adams

Megan Kane

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

John Winchester

Mary Winchester

Castiel

Charlie Bradbury

Rowena McLeod

Adam Milligan

Lucifer

Ruby

Jessica Moore

Gabriel

Benny Lafitte

Bela Talbot

Jo Harvelle

Ellen Harvelle

Superstore

Jonah Simms

Amy Sosa

Marcus White

Garrett McNeill

Dina Fox

Cheyenne Lee

Bo Thompson

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore

Christopher Hayden

Luke Danes

Logan Huntzberger

Jess Mariano

The Hunger Games

Peeta Mellark

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn

Finnick Odair

Johanna Mason

Haymitch Abernathy

Pretty Little Liars

Aria Montgomery

Spencer Hastings

Emily Fields

Hannah Marin

Mona Vanderwaal

Alison Di Laurentis

Jason Di Laurentis

Ezra Fitz

Toby Cavanaugh

Jenna Marshall

Caleb Rivers

The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Katherine Pierce

Elena Gilbert

Jeremy Gilbert

Bonnie Bennett

Caroline Forbes

The Originals

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Rebekah Mikaelson

Freya Mikaelson

Hayley Marshall

Marcel Gerard

Davina Claire

Twilight

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

Alice Cullen

Jasper Hale

Rosalie Hale

Emmett Cullen

Victoria

The 100

Bellamy Blake

Octavia Blake

Jasper Jordan

Shameless

Fiona Gallagher

Lip Gallagher

Carl Gallagher

Frank Gallagher

Mandy Milkovich

Kevin Ball

Veronica Fisher

The Bear

Carmy Berzatto

Sydney Adamu

Richie Jerimovich

Suicide Squad

Harley Quinn

Rick Flag

Blackguard

Once Upon A Time

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Killian Jones

Rumplestiltskin

Robin Hood

Ruby

Hades

Community

Jeff Winger

Abed Nadir

Annie Edison

Troy Barnes

Ian Duncan

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Charlie Kelly

Dennis Reynolds

Dee Reynolds

Mac

Cricket

House MD

Greg House

Robert Chase

James Wilson

Lisa Cuddy

Parks and Recreation

Ben Wyatt

April Ludgate

Andy Dwyer

MCU, Marvel

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Natasha Romanoff

Bruce Banner

Wanda Maximoff

Loki Laufeyson

Peter Parker(Holland, Garfield, Maguire)

Gamora

Peter Quill

Scott Lang

Steven Strange

Jessica Jones

Wade Wilson

DC CW

Oliver Queen

Barry Allen

Felicity Smoak

Laurel Lance

Sara Lance

Malcom Merlyn

John Constantine

Leonard Snart

Ray Palmer

Caitlyn Snow

Julian Albert

Rip Hunter

10 Things I Hate About You

Patrick Verona

Cameron James

New Girl

Jess Day

Nick Miller

Schmidt

Other Characters

Charlie Kelmeckis(Perks Of Being A Wallflower)

Jesse Eisenberg Characters

Dr. Who(10th Doctor)

Will Probably Add More

[foli-vora]

masterlist.

reader & prompt(s) below each title. warnings are noted on each fic.

FRANKIE MORALES:

⋆ Caught Out 18+ f!reader. spice/friends to lovers. “Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

⋆ Cold to the Touch 18+ f!reader. smut & angst. “It hurts...” “What?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you...” "Why are you so cold?" "I do not have an answer for you." "Don't call me that." “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.” “Can I kiss you?”

⋆ Attention Seeker gn!reader. fluff. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

MARCUS PIKE:

⋆ For Him gn!reader. fluff. “You wrote me a song?”

⋆ Rough Lines 18+ f!reader. YSE/RTY universe. angst & smut. “Is that a drawing of me?”

DIN DJARIN:

⋆ Say You'll Stay 18+ f!reader. angst/smut.

⋆ Before You Go f!reader. angst. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

⋆ Uncertain Intimacy 18+ f!reader. fluff & spice. “Can I kiss you?”

JACK DANIELS:

⋆ Stepping Stones 18+ f!reader. smut/angst/fluff.

⋆ Errands 18+ f!reader. Smut/fluff. "Can we go home yet?"

DAVE YORK:

⋆ Your Taste I Crave 18+ f!reader. smut. “You know where to find me.”

PERO TOVAR:

⋆ Greedy f!reader. fluffy/spicy. "I have no idea what you're talking about." “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

⋆ Don't Hide From Me 18+ f!reader. soft smut. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

JAVIER PENA:

⋆ Stuck of You 18+ f!reader. smut. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” “I'm going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name.”

⋆ Before My Eyes 18+ f!reader. spicy/smut. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.” “You’re so fucking cute.”

⋆ Gaze Into Me

f!reader. fluff & smut. “I didn’t mean to say that but yeah, I love you.”

⋆ Rule Breaker 18+ f!reader. smut. “Just once.”

EZRA:

⋆ Close Calls f!reader. Angst. “This isn’t adrenaline, I want to spend my life with you."

STEVEN GRANT:

⋆ Tear Into My Heart f!reader. angst. “I fucking hate you” “Let me do this, please.” “You’re my everything.”

⋆ Sunny Days: gn!reader. fluff. “I love seeing you smile.”

RICK FLAG:

⋆ Hear Me f!reader. angst. “The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

FRANK CASTLE:

⋆ Close Up 18+ f!reader. smut. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Christmas is for Friends and Family

Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag

Summary: When you tell Rick that you don’t do Christmas because it is a time for family and friends, neither of which you have, he makes it his mission to prove you wrong.

Word Count: 1510

TW: Fluff, Alone for Christmas, Found Family, Language

“Hey, Flag. Whatcha working on?” you asked as you casually sauntered into your partner’s office.

He glanced up momentarily from his computer then refocused on the screen. “Tryin’ to get these reports done so I can go home. I can’t believe Waller is making us work late on Christmas Eve.”

You plopped down heavily on the edge of his desk and grabbed a handful of candy out of the dish just next to your knee. “Seriously? That really surprise you? She’s like the Grinch, Scrooge, and Krampus all rolled into one.”

“Better be careful, if she hears you talking like that, she’ll never let you leave.”

“I don’t care. It’s not like I have plans.”

“Oh, come on, darlin’. It’s Christmas Eve! You can’t tell me you don’t have something planned.”

You tried to look as nonchalant as possible as you said, “Nope. I don’t do Christmas. Christmas is for friends and family. And I don’t have either.”

Rick looked slightly hurt. “I’m your friend.”

You popped another candy into your mouth. “No, you’re my coworker. You have to like me for the sake of the team. I meant people who I hang out with outside of work. Who actually thinks about me once they walk out those doors at night.”

You thought you heard Rick mumble something that sounded suspiciously like “I do think about you…all the time” but you brushed it off as wishful thinking. “No, I’m going to do the same thing I do every Christmas. Sleep in, spend the entire day in my pajamas, and eat three day old leftovers while I binge some crappy tv.”

“So, is that why you’re still hanging out around here even though it’s pretty obvious you are done with work?” Rick scoffed. “You just don’t want to go home to an empty apartment all alone? That’s just sad, darlin’.”

You knew he was kidding around, but the retort hit closer to home than you wanted to admit. You stood up abruptly from the desk. “Listen, I was going to offer to help you finish your paperwork in the spirit of holidays and all that, but just forget it.” You stalked to the door as Rick tried to sputter some sort of apology, but you ignored him. Just before you left the room, you spun around to face him.

“Merry Christmas, Colonel Flag.” Then you slammed his door shut loudly.

As you stalked down the hall to your office, you mentally kicked yourself for overreacting. Rick was probably the closest thing you had to a friend either inside or outside the walls of the prison. And the playful back and forth banter was just how the two of you joked around. But ever since your mom died, it had just been you on your own. And you liked it that way. However, sometimes on nights like tonight, the loneliness and isolation hit you like a truck. You had dedicated all your time and energy into your career but what did that leave you with at the end of the day? A one-bedroom apartment and some leftover Chinese take-out.

You sighed as you grabbed your keys and bag from your desk. Turning to leave, you were startled to see Rick standing in your doorway. Part of you wanted to rush over and give him a huge hug, to say how sorry you were for being a brat and storming off. But the part of you that was still hurt by his words was stronger. You pushed past him, jerking your arm out of his grasp when he went to stop you. He tried calling after you, but you just yelled, “I’ll see you on Monday” and kept going.

When you got to your car, you threw everything into the back seat and climbed in. It was only then that you let the first tears stream silently down your cheeks. Once again, you had been given the chance to make things right, and you had thrown it all away. And you wonder why you don’t have any friends.

A knock at your door woke you from your deep slumber. Groaning, you rolled over to see the clock showing 5:48. What the hell! Even on workdays, I don’t have to get up before 6. Whoever that is better just fuck off.

You didn’t hear anything else for a moment, so you snuggled back under the covers and tried to fall back asleep.

BAM, BAM, BAM. You shot up in bed as your front door rattled from the force of the knocking. Grabbing your bathrobe off your chair and your gun from under your pillow, you hurried down the hall. Reaching the front door, you peered cautiously through the peephole, gun raised. But you lowered it with an aggravated sigh as you saw the familiar Colonel on the other side.

“What the fuck do you want, Flag?” you yelled through the wood.

He pressed his face against the other side of the peephole, smiling broadly. “Merry Christmas to you too! Let us in, this hallway is freezing!”

“Then leave! I told you I don’t do Christmas!”

“Well, you do this year. Now let us in!”

You finally realize what he just said. “Wait…. who’s ‘us’?”

Unlocking the door and cracking it slightly, you were promptly shoved out of the way as it suddenly slammed open, and Rick and the entire squad burst into your apartment. You stared openmouthed as each of them filed in with armloads of decorations, food, presents, and lights.

You turn to Rick in astonishment, “How…What…?”

He beamed back brightly, throwing one arm around your shoulder. “Waller’s out of town so I was able to pull a few strings. Everyone’s got to be back by tonight, but I figured none of us should be alone for the holidays. Especially not when there are people who care about us that would love to spend them together.”

You watched as Harley organized the presents, Boomer frantically struggled with a box of tangled lights, Abner fiddled with your oven, DuBois and Lawton argued over the best spot to set the tree, and Cleo controlled a hoard of rats into stringing garland from the ceiling.

You were speechless. The tense ache that had been throbbing in your chest since last night slowly began to fade. You looked up at Rick through misty eyes, “I don’t know what to say. Especially after how I stormed out last night.”

“Ah, it’s okay, darlin’. I took it too far and I shouldn’t have teased you about being by yourself. I mean, I’m one to talk! Before I thought of this, my plans for today were eating a microwavable pizza while I reorganized my gun safe!”

You could feel his deep laugh reverberating throughout your body. It felt so comforting and safe, that you couldn’t help but lean your head into his chest. He glanced down at you and smiled, before murmuring in a softy voice so only you could hear, “Hey, I know this job can be tough. And there are times when you feel alone or isolated. But I’m here for you, always. You are so much more to me than just a coworker. You are the best partner and friend a guy could ask for. And I’m sorry if I never said that before.”

“No, I feel the same way about you. I don’t know why I said that last night. You’ve always been an amazing friend, Rick. And I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise. And this?” You motioned to the chaotic merriment throughout your apartment. “This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.” You rolled out from under his arm to stand chest-to-chest facing one another. Then you wrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at his face. “But I do have one question for you.”

He ducked his head lower until it hovered just above yours. “And what’s that?”

Lowering your voice, you whispered, “Did Cleo bring those rats with her or were they already in my apartment?....You know what, I don’t want to know.”

Rick chuckled again as he pulled you closer against his chest, wrapping his strong arms around your back. You opened your mouth, but before you could say anything else, Harley popped up holding a wilted piece of parsley over your heads.

You eyed her curiously. “Uh, Harls…. What are you doing?”

She shrugged. “I couldn’t find any mistletoe. And I figured neither one of you would ever make a move on your own so…” She shook the pathetic plant for emphasis.

Rick and you quickly exchanged an embarrassed look but then he stared deep into your eyes. “It might not be the real thing, but it is a tradition.”

You smiled coyly back at him. “Colonel Flag, are you asking if you can kiss me?”

He blushed slightly as he muttered, “Well, you know… the mistletoe... and only if you want to.”

Grabbing his chin, you pulled him down towards your lips. “You never needed an excuse to do this.”

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Ringing in the new year with three soldiers, an insurance agent, and a criminal who sucks at geography and spelling

Got a prompt for a New Year's fic in which Harley meets Rick's army buddies and they try to wrap their heads around the fact that their friend is dating THE Harley Quinn. Happy New Year, motherfuckers!

Rick’s sitting on the couch in a rented cabin in the woods—sipping a beer and catching up on life with his two closest army buddies that he hasn’t seen since his ill-fated reunion trip that was interrupted six months ago. Harley’s with him this time, so no chance of anything bad happening.

“Dude, you’re dating Harley Quinn?” His buddy, Kane, asks incredulously.

Apparently he hadn’t specified last time they hung out. Whoops.

“Isn’t she wanted in like seven countries?” His other friend, Ramirez, asks.

“Not anymore,” he replies. Actually, that might not be true, now that he thinks about it. They have immunity from Waller and her bullshit, but not necessarily any foreign governments. Best not to take any international trips, just to be on the safe side.

“Wasn’t she with the Joker for like, a really long time? How has he not killed you yet?”

“Oh, I don’t think Mistah J is gonna be a problem for us anymore,” Harley slurs as she makes her way into the living room—plastic glass of champagne in her hand. She plops down on his lap and pats his cheek. “Ain’t that right, baby?”

He chuckles and pulls her closer. “How many glasses of champagne have you had, Harls?”

“Um… I lost count?”

“How many bottles have you had?”

“Oh! Two!”

He grabs the glass out of her hand and downs the rest of it. “Okay, that’s enough of that for you.”

“They weren’t big bottles!” Harley whines.

“Wait wait wait,” Kane interjects. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that and not elaborate. Did she kill him, Flag?”

“Wasn’t me!”

“You killed him?”

Rick contemplates his answer very carefully. These are his ride or die best friends who have been through the worst with him so he’s pretty sure they won’t turn him into the cops.

“Seriously maimed him,” is what he ends up landing on.

“With his bare hands!” Harley says proudly, with a wet kiss to his cheek.

There’s awed silence for several moments as what he just revealed sinks in. He doesn’t see what’s so surprising about it. It’s not like he hasn’t killed before. He’s killed so many people, in fact, that he’s lost count. Besides, Joker isn’t really that scary.

Ramirez looks like he’s getting ready to say something about the whole thing when Kane’s wife, Rachel, makes an appearance. She has beer and a glass of champagne with her—the latter of which she offers to Harley, who makes grabby hands at it.

He grabs it before she can and sets it aside on an end table out of her reach. “Awww, you suck!”

He chuckles and kisses her temple. “You’ll thank me later when you’re not puking your guts out at midnight, Harls.”

That seems to satisfy her and she relaxes into his embrace.

“So,” Ramirez says. “This is the same Harley who almost burned the apartment down trying to make mac n cheese?”

“That was one time!”

“Three times, Harls. And then there was the time you set off the fire alarm making cookies.”

“That was one time!”

“And the time you—” she claps a hand over his mouth before he can finish his sentence.

“I think they get it! Now can we please change the subject?”

Rachel does the honors, as she comes back to the living room with her own glass of champagne. “So, Harley, what do you do for work?”

“Oh lots of stuff! Rob banks, murder dictators, yell at doctors. I have a card!”

She shoves her hand in her pocket and emerges with her handwritten business card. It’s covered in glitter and the ink is smudged. She hands it over to Rachel, who doesn’t really know what to make of the whole situation.

“Oh. I just… work in life insurance,” she says awkwardly, before attempting to read the card.

Rick snorts and tries to cover it up with a cough. People never quite know what to make of Harley when they first meet her.

“Does that say… ‘mercerany’?”

“It does,” he says with a laugh. It’s a running joke at this point. She’s in his phone under the name “Mercerany #4 (Harls)”.

“I was six margaritas and about five shots of tequila deep at that point, so sue me.”

“You also just suck at spelling even when you’re sober, Harls.”

“Fuck off!”

Rachel squints at the smudged handwriting. “Finder of lost things?”

“Oh! Yeah! I’m great at findin’ lost shit! If ya lose somethin’, I’m your gal!”

The alcohol keeps flowing as Harley launches into her story about her time with the Birds of Prey and Roman Sionis. Before Rick knows it, Rachel is lamenting about her asshole coworker who’s been making her life a living hell.

“And HR won’t do anything about it!”

“Oooh, want me to show up and set her desk on fire?”

Rachel laughs and almost chokes on her champagne.

“She’s serious, you know,” he feels the need to clarify. And then adds, “Maybe don’t go straight for arson, Harls? You’d probably get your point across just fine by yelling at her.”

“Can I at least use the giant hammer?”

“Sure, why not,” he says, before downing the rest of his beer.

“God, you are so cool!” Rachel gushes. She’s at least a full bottle of champagne deep at this point. “Can we be best friends?”

“Yes!” Harley agrees. “Ooooh! You should do roller derby with me!”

“Harls, they live in Montana.”

“Where the fuck is Montana?”

“Across the country, Harls. The state we’re in right now, in fact.”

“Oh. Well that sucks.”

The women settle for getting each other’s phone numbers and promising to text each other every single day.

Rick checks his watch once Harley starts losing steam—five minutes to midnight. He nudges her awake and tells her, “C’mon, wake up, you’re gonna miss it.”

She’s wide awake once the countdown starts.

Ten! Nine! Eight!

She quickly stands up and pulls him out the door to the front porch—where they’re surrounded by a blanket of snow.

“Happy New Year!” they hear from inside the house.

Harley rolls up on her toes and pulls him into a kiss. “Happy New Year, baby,” she says, forehead pressed against his.

“Happy New Year, Harls.”

They share another kiss as the snow starts falling again.