#rich and evil men are so hot real

[fatuismooches]

Pantalone loves spoiling you, and will pout if you say he cant. and yes although he likes having mora more than spending it, he just cant help himself when he remembers the things you two went through, how you wanted to help him no matter what happened. you helped him while you were both in your worst, so he wants to finally repay you, doesn't matter how many times you tell him not to. he's stubborn, and you know that, you've known for a long time now. all the harbingers are somewhat stubborn though, but his just doubles when about you. you complimented someone for their clothes, you'll see the exact same thing laying on his side of the bed the next morning, and when you ask him about it he just says it looked like you wanted it, so he got it.

sometimes you just dont understand this man, even though you've been stuck together since childhood.

(im in a little of a Pantalone mood, rich 'n evil men are hot)

-luv ya

With how stingy Regrator is with his own co-workers' budgets within the organization where he works, one would certainly faint if they were to view the numerous bills and expenses for none other than... his beloved. (It is not a number for the faint of heart. You learned that rather quickly after you happened to peek at one such bill, where he spent an incomprehensible amount of Mora on you... You know, Pantalone was actually a bit concerned when you said that you needed to talk to him. He thought perhaps you were upset, Tsaritsa forbid hurt, but no, it was this... minor thing.)

Pantalone does not see an issue with his "absurd" spending on you. First of all, is this not what a good husband does? Treat his beloved to only the best this world has to offer? (Although you certainly outshine any gift he could present you with.) Secondly, he believes it is just a small repayment for all you did for him all those years ago. Were it not for you, things would have turned out quite differently. He would have never loved. Would have never trusted. Would have never been comfortable enough to be vulnerable, to feel truly safe around another. (Not to mention all the times his stomach was hungry, but his heart felt unusually full, thanks to you.)

You, of course, always wave off his thanks because you were just doing what you thought was right. (Un?)fortunately, Pantalone always seems to escalate your actions... In reality, Pantalone knows you're satisfied with only him, but he can't help but want to give you something extra, for all you've endured with him.

Regardless of your complaints, you're sure to be spoiled by Pantalone until you breathe your last.

[pha55ed]

All I Want For Christmas || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: sexual jokes

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: they hard launch you on insta! yay!

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

carlossainz55 : my most expensive gift to myself! love you forever @.yourusername

→ user 01: Con😭grad😭u😭lations

⎯→ user 02: we never had a chance... 😭😭

→ yourusername: mwah <3 love you forever

⎯→ user 03: what about me :(

⎯→ user 04: let her go bro... she's gone 😭

→ alexandrasaintmleux: so cute! 🩷

⎯→ yourusername: not as cute as you 😉

⎯→ user 05: the prettiest wags ever

Charles Leclerc | 16

charles_leclerc : my biggest win yet @.yourusername

→ user 01: GAWWDAAAMNN how does he find the most gorgeous women ever

⎯→ yn_hater: she doesn't compare to alex tho :/

⎯→ yn_biggest_fan: 43°44′5″N 7°25′14″E and you still live with ur mom 🤣

→ yourusername: no need to lie in ur caption but thank you love

⎯→ user 02: i would never lie to u, just saying. (I'm 6'3)

→ oscarpiastri: welcome to the fam 👏

⎯→ yourusername: gonna be an evil step mom to u >:D

⎯→ oscarpiastri: but you're my real mom

⎯→ yourusername: andddd now i feel bad 😭

Lando Norris | 04

landonorris : how i sleep knowing @.yourusername is protecting me

→ user 01: once again a beautiful girl with an ugly man

⎯→ user 02: a beautiful girl with a funny* rich* talented* and hot* man

→ maxfewtrell: so this is how i find out i'm being cheated on

⎯→ yourusername: 🫵🤣 LOL

⎯→ user 03: the girls are fightinggggg

→ user 04: lando is confirmed a pillow princess???

⎯→ yourusername: only the best for him

Oscar Piastri | 81

oscarpiastri: just a chill guy with a not very chill girl @.yourusername

→ user 01: why would u post the 3rd photo 😭😭

⎯→ user 02: i think thats her crying after he won in baku??

⎯→ user 03: but why is the photo taken in her house then???

⎯→ yourusername: can't a girl be proud (i was crying for 3 hours still)

→ user 04: literally the nonchalant x chalant trope

→ charles_leclerc: congrats to you both! ❤️

⎯→ user 05: AWW OMG this is so cute

→ yourusername: when i come home i want u oiled up on my bed

⎯→ user 06: OH...!

⎯→ user 07: no one will match her freak

Oliver Bearman | 87

olliebearman: yes the pizza is armed... jk love you @.yourusername

→ user 01: Ollie if you hurt her....

⎯→ user 02: I think we should be worried FOR him

→ yourusername: who are you...

⎯→ user 03: ikrrrrr hes sooo weirddddd, come home to me instead!!!!

→ kimi.antonelli: congrats mate! blink twice for help!

⎯→ yourusername: I know where you live.

→ user 04: I love beautiful crazy girls <3 she's so valid

Paul Aron | 17

paularon_: my biggest inspiration and supporter @.yourusername

→ yourusername: can't wait to boost the estonian population with you <3

⎯→ user 01: mind you, it's 8am when i opened my phone

→ user 02: they're so fucking beautiful, i can't even blame (y/n) for being horny

⎯→ user 03: their kids will be the prettiest ever

→ user 04: I KNEW THEY WERE DATING OMFGGGG I KNEW IT

→ dinobeganovic: GET A ROOM U FREAKS!!! (happy for you both!)

⎯→ pepemartiofficial: AGREED! (congrats mate!)

⎯→ yourusername: FUCK YOU GUYS!!!! (thanks guys)

Pepe Marti | 21

pepemartiofficial: BREAKING: proud to anounce that i will be with extending my contract with (y/n) for another year @.yourusername

→ yourusername: only a one year extension??? fake asf

⎯→ chirstian.mansell: cause he's transferring to me after one year

⎯→ yourusername: enjoy my sloppy seconds

⎯→ gabyprentice_: its okay bby u can come with me

→ user 01: praying on their downfall purely so i can have a shot with (y/n)

→ user 02: yet another tall lanky awkward man with a beautiful girlfriend

⎯→ user 03: (y/n) has always been into awkward men, not a surprise

→ user 04: Can't wait to see her face in the paddock, her face card is LETHAL

[kisakunt]

THE RICH MAN’S GUIDE TO CORRUPTION

GIVE IT UP FOR LOVE

warnings… i mean some absolute swine talk, gojo and geto are evil men, you’re a sweet and pure virgin. swearing, mentions of fucking, really just vile pig shit.

synopsis… suguru and satoru have a lovely chat over a warm summers breeze. oh! and sweet, un-expecting, vulnerable you is the topic of discussion.

a word from the creator… idk if i mentioned this but this fic is based loosely off the movie cruel intentions! banger film, check it out. i wrote a lot of this chapter awhile ago so if the writing style switches up next chapter don’t sue me. i’m excited!!!! here’s to the next eleven chapters of hell

series masterlist

Gojo hates the heat. He thinks he's tolerated it before on his father’s yacht or when he did an unnecessary shirtless carwash for extra money he didn't need; but right now with the breeze through the window— that Suguru demanded be open— overbearing the air conditioner, he's absolutely positive that summer is the worst.

“Start of the year’s comin’, yknow.” He typically broke the silence— as if he could ever shut up to begin with— and he was almost always met with a:

“No shit.” strident response. Those seemed to be Suguru’s speciality, and provoking them seemed to be Satoru’s.

It’s too hot. His white hair presses into the drywall, feeling much cooler than the air outside. “I’m not stupid, Suguru. Neither are you, you know what I mean.” It’s an overdramatic sigh— a call for attention— as he turns his head over to look at him.

“They’re gonna ask us about it soon.” And, in some way Suguru can’t really comprehend, Gojo sounds excited.

His manner isn’t necessarily wrong, not so much as it is unexpected. The ‘new year, new fuck’ competition of Azabu was practically famous among the young men certain to attend— the sons of the sons who started it, and all their nephews or cousins or any synonym for a pig of a relative that they could come up with. And, luckily enough, they had the privilege to be top candidates.

The competition was started by the current dean’s uncle, a horny fuck-all type who would take any and all excuse to boost his ego while tearing down a girls— or maybe he really did just want a good lay. But, it grew and grew and grew, and now it was almost ritualistic, a second identity of worthiness in the form of fucking a virgin before anyone else did.

Sure, they were nothing but thrilled for it as high school reached an end, or even the first or second year of university. But now it just seemed dull.

But, traditions are custom, and customs are a necessity. It’s almost become lore throughout their little clique of affluence; whispered stories from childhood turned into real competition after a long wait, especially from a group of people who so rarely have to wait for anything. It’s inspiring, they think, means to associate themselves with a lower class; normalize themselves just a little more.

Alumni share stories at functions, putting the frat in fraternizing, nonchalance on the tips of their tongues. Sometimes the tone almost feels dark, and Suguru thinks if he were a better person he’d feel some type of sympathy for the girls. Any fragment of empathy he had wiped away when he won for the first time, though, wide smirk as his year mates glared at him; memories of the tight, albeit idiotic, girl engrained behind the lids of his eyes.

Even so, it gets old quick. And it’s not like they don’t fuck dumb, stupid, silly girls with nothing to say for the rest of the year anyway. So, he can’t quite figure out what Gojo is all too excited about.

“Well try to make sure your dick doesn’t get hard from the thought, you fucking freak.” There’s a giggle from the other man, a scoff too, and he pushes his hand out at him.

This is crucial. This is who they are together. A pair— whether it’s a pair of awful men or not.

There’s also a sense of trepidation that comes with it, of course. It’s exclusive, more so than they already are, and if you do one thing wrong- speak a little too loud, come off too brash, give a lackluster lie after actually getting caught— you’re out. And whose pride would want that?

“It’s stupid we always gotta wait for them to sit us down, it’s not like we don’t know what’s coming up.” He scoffs, arms crossing over his chest. “Plus, what a fucking weird thing to say to your kid.”

“I mean the whole thing’s odd if you think about it.” Gojo shrugs, hands stuffed in his pockets, forearms bare against the linen of his trousers.

He’s right, of course. Even if neither of them feel guilt for their actions, they can’t ignore the sinking feeling in their stomach when their own fathers sit them down and incite such a twisted view on them.

Be that as it may, it’s not too bad when that’s all they know, and it’s not like either of them are going to complain at a quick orgasm, a nice pair of tits, and that goddamn feeling of triumph.

“Do you think they’ll cry again?” Satoru mocks, brimming with glee as he leans in the direction of his friend. “It’s always funny, dontcha think?”

“As if you’d know,” There’s a smirk despite the aggression in his tone. “Dunno why it matters so much to you, you already got bitches babbling about you all the time.”

Gojo sighs, expression bored and childish and fucking greedy. “Yeah, I know but…” His voice peters out, lost in the room. Elation bubbles back into his features, warming his cheeks and animating his eyes as he looks at Suguru.

“Yknow, I heard the dean has a daughter starting, actually. Real sweet gal, even wrote a whole fucking magazine article about the importance of ‘saving your innocence’” his voice wobbles, eyes rolling as he sneers. “for someone you really love.”

“Sounds like she’s ugly.”

“Thought so, too, but..” He trails off, hand fishing in his back pocket for his phone, pupils dilating at the light on his screen. It doesn’t take him long to find the photo; clearly he’s been sitting on his discovery for awhile, anticipating when he could tell him. “Look.”

Suguru doesn’t like to be wrong, much less will he ever admit it. “Holy shit.” You aren’t necessarily the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, probably not even the prettiest he’s seen in the last month, but you were definitely something.

Maybe it was the curve of your jaw or the tint in your lips, but the photo set something off in him. On the surface he thinks it’s the just barely explicit face you’re making in your mirror, phone in hand as you look into your lens, but really, honestly, if he’s searching deep down— it’s the fact he knows you’re the one girl who wouldn’t just throw herself on him if he so kindly asked.

“Sugu, are you ever bored of this? It feels too easy, right?” Suddenly Gojo’s previous excitement feels misplaced, voice itching for more. “Hardest part about it is finding out who’s actually a virgin or not, and that’s pretty simple with how awkward they get.”

“What are you saying?” Maybe he already knows, maybe he’s hoping for the obvious, but he asks like he doesn’t care. The former moves fast, hand steady on the desk as he leans far too close for comfort. In any other situation, he’d probably be met with a harsh jab to the face, but this feels different— secret.

“Let’s do something, on our own, just you and me.” He almost seems too impatient, pressure digging into the ground from the toes of his shoes and gaze begging. It was the kind of thing that made you want to agree, if nothing else to just feel a fraction of the way he seemed to be. Before Suguru could even consider the idea, test the waters and make Gojo beg a little bit, said boy opened his mouth again.

“I mean, unless you’re not up for it. You don’t really seem like the type to make a girl give it up for love.” He snickers, raising the back of his hand to his forehead as he feigns swooning.

“Geto, I— I love you.” His voice is high, wheezy in his imitation and a little rude. “I think.. I think I’m ready- I want it to be you.” He cuts himself off with his own laugh, hand circling over his mouth to try to stifle himself. “Could you imagine?”

“The fuck does that mean?!”

“Cmon, Suguru, you’re not really the endearing type.” He’s edging him now, tone manipulative and pressing and snarky and Suguru knows— of course he knows, but it can’t help but irk him.

“What are you thinking?” And now Gojo’s beaming again, feet guiding him back across the room to his bag, books stacked neatly inside, lying even against each other. He pulls out a magazine and tosses it to him haphazardly before he reaches back for a notebook and a pen.

“Page 36, read it.” The article is cheesy. It’s too long and feels like something right off a self care Facebook page. Suguru is sure he physically recoiled a couple times reading it; especially when you wrote ‘Virginity is a miracle— the ability to show someone how much you love them in such an intimate way should be saved for someone special.’.

It’s shocking that you’re the daughter of the man who oversees their little sex game.

Suguru thinks you’re vile— embarrassing and pathetic and a huge fucking waste of what seems like a really good pair of blowjob eyes. It makes his skin crawl and he verbally scoffs when he reads your finishing sentence about cherishing your virtues, so focused on the arrogance in your punctuation that he doesn’t even hear Gojo’s laugh.

“Pretentious as shit, right?” He snorts, eyes flickered as he recites the passage in his head. “It’s gonna feel so good to fuck the words right out of her mouth.” Suguru didn’t know what he expected from his friend, but it wasn’t that. It’s clear through, through and through, that he’s dedicated to the idea.

“I mean sure, I guess you’ll have your turn. Maybe she’ll fuck just about anyone after I win.”

“Wait, so you’re in?”

“Whatever.”

“Fuck yeah!” He’s joyful, fist pumping into his chest in a quick celebration before he’s holding up his notebook, standing directly across the floor from the desk.

The wood is dark, deep and marbled, glazed over the top and lined with little symbols of power in the form of trophies. It’s clearly something too nice to serve as a welcome mat, but nonetheless Suguru rests his heels on the surface, ankles crossed over each other as he leans back in his chair. His eyes point to the ceiling to look at anything other than the annoyance in front of him.

“Well clearly we need to set up some rules.” He sneers in his seat when he remembers not looking at him won’t make him shut up.

“Okay well we have the obvious: whoever fucks first wins. And I mean fucks, none of that sloppy anal shit. Doesn’t count.” It’s almost funny, but neither of them acknowledge it. If they do, that’ll come hand in hand with the fact they’re acting just like their fathers.

“She has to be sober.” He didn’t really expect himself to say that, but he did expect Satoru to whine.

Gojo lets it sit in the air for a second before he nods curtly and jots something done.

“Would it be too cocky to say she has to cum?” The journal’s away from his face now and someone could, and probably would, argue that the walls are lucky to see the boyish grin he’s got. His smirk pulls up at the corners of his lips, but Suguru just finds it vexing. Gojo is far too full of himself, he thinks, and he hates to admit there’s good reason.

Nonetheless, he has to give him a little shit. “Do they normally not with you?”

“Hey! That’s not what I meant, asshole.” There’s something sweet to Satoru, under all the sickening that is his personality. It makes people understand just why girls fall for him, and definitely helps him keep a good image to the public.

And there’s something smart to him that makes you feel like he could really pull whatever he wanted off. It makes the idea of competing with just him much more appealing.

“Are we gonna have like a— fuck I don’t know— like a time limit?”

“Fuck is this? A video game?”

“I mean no, but competition wise if it takes us like half a year isn’t that kind of stupid? Because who’s to say she won’t ‘really love you’ by then, and then you’re not making her go against anything, yknow?” And there's also something meticulous about him that makes him aggravating as all hell.

“Fine. A month.”

“Just a month?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Plus, anything longer than that and we’d just be a couple of fucking losers chasing after a bitch.” Suguru knows Gojo is giving him a look without even seeing it, the slightly judgmental and almost kind one he does. “What? You’re the one who said it to begin with.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. A month.” It’s silent for a second, comfortable with all their years of each other, before he clears his throat.

“That it then?” Maybe they’re the same kind of evil. Maybe they deserve each other.

“One more, actually.” There’s that feeling from him again, the tone that makes Suguru want to agree aimlessly for no fucking reason other than the possible rush. And before he can fester; before his skin can start to crawl and his hands can get clammy just from that sheer desire in his voice, Gojo grins.

“You need proof. And I don’t mean her saying it, because you can bribe anyone into saying anything. Gotta show it, photo or video or something, balls deep or whatever the fuck.” That almost makes Suguru laugh.

“I don’t think she’s gonna go for that one, no matter how good the dick is.”

“She doesn’t have to know.” Now he’s really thrilled. He doesn’t know what it is, but that lights something in him, stirs in his stomach and causes a little quiver in his brow.

“Fuck yeah, man,” he’s really laughing now, pointing at the journal harshly. “write that shit down.”

There’s something unspoken over them now, a deeper bond than they thought they could have. Neither of them would ever admit it, but it feels like they’re those two high schoolers again, counting down til they can become something fucking great. This is the feeling they’re supposed to get from their fathers’ stupid fucking contest. This is actual competition, a chance to actually win.

A new air falls on them, mixed back in with that warm, rich breeze.

“Okay, that settles that then.” Gojo offers, fingers tapping the binding of his book. “She has to be attending the start of the year banquet so that’ll be an excuse to meet her. Everything from then on is up to us.” Suguru always dreaded that shitty event, but now he finds himself doing mental math to count how far away it is.

Even if the whole thing is trivial, and even if you seem like the most uptight thing ever, Suguru is a man of pride. And prideful he’ll be.

“We still gotta do the ‘new year’ thing, you know. They’ll burst a fucking artery if we say we’re not interested.” His voice is gravelly and calm and so not anything he’s feeling, but he thinks Gojo buys it when he chuckles.

“Can you be excommunicated from being a womanizer? Because I think we would be.” They’re almost joking like everything is normal. It’s different, so much different, but they’re acting the same.

“I’m gonna go grab some water and maybe call one of your maids to make lunch, you want anything?” Suguru shakes his head, shifting in his seat as he tries his hardest not to look at the journal Satoru set on the side table.

“Suit yourself, I’ll be back.”

“Whatever,” He waits after Gojo walks out. Waits a good forty five seconds before he stands up, and he crosses the room in about three.

He glances over at the thrown aside notebook, eyes quick as he scans it. The handwriting is adjacent to messy, scattered and the page is littered with semi vulgar doodles and side bars. It’s coherent, though, and even though they both know Gojo had no intention of giving it to him, it’s got his signature at the bottom.

1. Full fucking!! Penis in vagina

2. No signs of being inebriated. Absolutely stone cold sober

3. If it takes longer than a month after everyone is introduced we’re both “a couple of fucking losers” (< Sugu’s words)

4. Orgasms are important ! Or at least near orgasms (she is a virgin)

5. Photo / video proof. If you can’t get it, you aren’t in it (haha! get it?)

He snickers at four, the uneasy tone in the second sentence almost self deprecating. Despite that, he can’t help but feel a smidge of respect that he ended up adding it to begin with.

He grabs the pen from the table, pressing into the paper too hard as he leaves his chicken scratch of a John Hancock. Okay, maybe this will be fun.

taglist… @moonlight-pearls @sharkerino @echerie

[topazadine]

Okay, okay, here's perhaps my spiciest and most controversial take yet.

Now, before I even say anything, please note that I am talking specifically about fantasy. Not retellings of myths, not historical fiction set in different countries, nothing like that. This is for second-world fantasy, where you're creating a whole different world.

Ready?

Stop making everything so damn complicated!

This is not to say that you can't have a rich and exciting world filled with lore, religion, different societies, traditions, unique geographies. Not that. Of course we want that: it's the whole reason we read fantasy. I'm talking about something else.

This is my simple takedown, and you can read the rest to better understand what I mean:

Stop jamming your story with five billion weird words.

Don't use super complicated nouns.

Keep the characters to a minimum so we can know and like them.

Don't yammer on about all the backstory.

Stop making readers do homework just to understand things.

Focus on the feeling a story gives instead of the intricate worldbuilding.

And lastly, a pre-emptive note to those who are putting their hackles up and telling me why they are an exception.

Why is it important to keep things simple?

A lot of people shy away from fantasy because they assume that every fantasy story is going to be so complicated that their head will hurt. Not in terms of plot - many people like complicated plots - but in terms of terminology and history. Things that ultimately don't really matter to the plot.

We as writers often assume that everyone cares about our story as much as we do and is equally captivated by every detail. This is simply not true.

To your reader, your story is not their life's work: it is entertainment that they want to be able to enjoy at their leisure. It's a distraction from their difficult lives and all their real-world frustrations. If they get really into it and, say, write fanfic or whatever, that's amazing! But they're not likely to do that if they feel like they'll be jumped on for doing something wrong or that they have to include every single little detail.

For example, I wrote over 1 million words of Touken Ranbu fanfic. Touken Ranbu, at its heart, has a very simple premise: you've got a bunch of legendary swords that were turned into hot men and fight evil time-traveling monsters. You can understand it with just that. There are layers to it, though, that you can slowly untangle. That makes for good writing because it works on multiple levels depending on how much you care about it.

I would have given up on the story if I felt like I needed a dictionary just to understand the plot. Most people would. Language needs to be accessible and premises need to be clear, or no one is going to want to go deeper.

Subtle little details that people can pick up are way more enjoyable than tossing every single factoid at people so that they feel overwhelmed and can't think. It's wonderful to have rich layers of symbolism, mythology, etc. That's excellent. But you can only get people to care about those things if they can actually comprehend your damn story.

A lot of the things that turn people off from fantasy are all about a writer's ego, and it oozes through the work. People can tell that you're wanting them to pat you on the back for putting so much shit in your story. It's annoying and a total turn-off when you make readers work so hard to comprehend what you're saying.

So what exactly am I talking about? This.

Using made-up terms for everything that could easily be explained with a normal English word

When I am writing fantasy, I imagine myself as a translator. After all, my made-up societies have their own made-up language (Seinish) that is referenced a few times.

However, I'm not using Seinish words all the time. I'm writing in English. I didn't write out a Seinish dictionary or even come up with most of the terms because, honestly? Most readers don't care. They want to understand what's going on in as simple of terms as possible, with only a few specific terms that remind us that we're somewhere different.

I may use some specialized terminology, but it's always couched in context clues that make us aware of what it is without actually having to just say "sdlkjfslkdjf, also known as a marketplace."

For example, in The Eirenic Verses, the High Poet Society has religious centers called meronyms. (Which actually isn't a made-up word.) We know they're religious centers because we see all the religious leaders living there. Someone sees the term "meronym" and goes "oh yeah, that's the religious place" and moves on.

It's one of the only confusing, specialized terms in the book other than place names, which people expect whenever they're reading fantasy. Because of that, it stands out and is easy to remember. It's not one of 1029310283012830132 different terms someone has to remember in order to follow along.

Even Tolkien, famed for literally writing an entire extra book full of lore for his stories, doesn't really use that much specialized terminology except for place names. My favorite author, China Mieville, only uses specialized terminology for things that have absolutely no basis in our reality and that can't be explained otherwise. And he's an extremely eloquent guy who uses the weirdest words possible whenever he can. If he can write a book that's mostly comprehensible without a cheat sheet, you can too.

If there is an English term for what you are trying to explain, just use that, for the love of god. The point of writing a story is not to show how smart and special you are: it is to tell a story. You need to remove as many barriers to access as possible.

Things that get a pass and can be made up most, if not all, of the time:

Place names (as in specific places, not categories of things)

Peoples' names

Languages

Species that don't exist in our world

Modes of transportation that don't exist in our world

Magic that can't be explained in any other way

Technology that can't be defined by our language

Look, if you have an animal that is basically a dragon, just call it a dragon. If you've got a wheeled carriage, call it a carriage. Call earth magic something based in earth terms, like "terravitae" or something, idk. There should be some connection to our world in your terminology because you are writing this in English for an English-speaking audience.

It doesn't make you a lazy writer, it makes you one that wants people to understand what you're talking about. Again, imagining yourself as a translator is a good way to keep yourself from going ham on the nouns.

Proper nouns that are way too complicated

Let's look at some well-known proper nouns from fantasy.

Middle Earth

Narnia

Earthsea

Discworld

Westeros

Ankh-Morpork

Bas-Lag

Wonderland

They're all ... simple. They're not a million syllables with weird intonations and accents and all that. If you showed this to a medieval peasant, they'd probably be able to pronounce them and would likely understand that they were place names.

Unless there's a good reason to have a weird name, don't use one. Come up with something simpler.

All of these I mentioned are three syllables or less, making them easier to remember. In fact, I'd argue that nearly every proper noun in your book should be no more than three syllables. Maybe one or two four-syllable ones.

Any very weird name should be balanced out by several easier ones so that it stands out.

40 million characters

Younger writers often want their world to feel very lived in, so they introduce dozens of characters with their own names, descriptions, backstories, etc etc etc. The problem is that this is a huge mental load on your reader, especially if a lot of the characters have very similar names. It makes reading your stuff into a chore rather than an enjoyable experience.

Now, some literary greats do have a lot of characters. But they get away with it because they're great.

I'm not great, so I don't do that.

I'd also suggest that you don't do that, regardless of how good you think you are.

To see if you have too many chracters, write out a dramatis personnae and rank it in terms of importance. Does your top tier have like 15 characters? Cut some. Figure out where they are in the story and if they don't exist for more than a few pages, delete them. Absorb them into someone else.

If a character is only in one scene, don't bother naming them. They don't matter enough. This reduces the cognitive load for your reader because they can see that character for what they are: a background person who exists only briefly.

Any time you name a character, they need to have deep plot relevance. The more unusual your character's name, the more important they should be. And they should have some sort of relationship to another character, preferably the main character. Otherwise, why are they there? Why do we care? Go away!

Way too much backstory

I am an adult and my brain is filled with 50 million other things. I have to remember stuff for my job, I have a to-do list, I have family I care about who needs me.

Your story is not the end-all be-all of my existence. Hell, my story is not the end-all be-all of my existence either. I want to be able to pick up your book, understand what's going on, and then delve a bit deeper or even make up my own headcanons.

I do not need the entirety of your story's world thrown at me right off the bat. It is overwhelming and tiring. Imagine if you visited a different country and someone immediately came up to you and started spewing the whole history of the country right after you stepped off the plane. That's what you're doing to your readers!

Think also about how you approach your everyday world. Do you reel off a million facts about your personal history the instant you meet someone? No, of course not. It'd be weird and creepy.

Are you constantly recalling facts about your city while walking down the street? Do you even know any major facts about your city? You probably know a few little trivia points and that's it. Because it's not relevant to you, and it's not relevant to your readers, either. I can't recall off the top of my head when Cleveland was settled, but I can tell you that we have the world's first Dunkleosteus fossil in our museum, because that is interesting to me. That's the kind of thing that makes a place feel lived-in, not four hundred thousand pages of exposition about the place's history.

Give your readers time to settle in, and reveal things slowly as they make sense. Maybe we hear a little bit about the country's government as they pass a parliament house, or because they have to visit the city center for a different reason. If it's not pertinent to the current scene, then don't put it there.

I've got tons of lore for my world. Some of it may be referenced one singular time, and some of it may be never referenced at all. That's okay, because it's just for me to get a better sense of the place I created. If a reader doesn't need it, then I don't bother putting it in, because it might detract from their enjoyment.

Overall: stop making your readers do homework!

We do not want our readers to feel like they are working when they are reading our stuff. Excellent writers can infuse deep themes and symbology into their stories without making it feel like work. These are the writers who are remembered forever, because not only have they made a good story that you can enjoy at a surface level, but they have also twined in deeper themes that you can dive into after you've digested the story.

I did my undergrad in British literature, so I read a lot of Shakespeare and contemporaneous authors. Shakespeare is considered complicated by modern standards because of the Elizabethan language, but if you translated it into modern terms, his stories are simple. People betray each other and stab each other, or fuck each other, or get transported to weird magical worlds.

You could watch a Shakespeare play and think absolutely nothing of the themes, but still enjoy the story. You could know absolutely nothing about Greek history and still get the gist.

This is because Shakespeare specifically wrote his plays to appeal to a mass audience. He was a god-tier author when it came to balancing symbology and plot. To be like Shakespeare, be simple. Remember that your reader does. not. really. care. all that much. They don't.

It's very unlikely that your writing is going to become someone's life's work and they're going to spend their whole existence studying. Cool if true, but unlikely.

Your job is to make a story that people like and want to read. Only when you've gotten people liking and reading do you get permission to go ham with the backstory and the characterization and the weird names, because they trust you to create a story that they will like. Otherwise, your primary objective is making people feel things so they want to feel more things and read more stories.

People care more about how a story makes them feel than the specifics

Yes, of course there are outliers to this who really want every single detail of the world, but those are few and far between. You should not tailor your story to these exceptions. Think about the average everyday person.

I have many books that I love, but I can't tell you everything about them now. I can, however, tell you how I felt when I was reading them: the plot twists that made me gasp, the thing that made me cry. I can give you a general, sweeping impression of whether I liked or disliked the story and what made me feel something. This is what people recommend books based on: how they felt.

Your story should focus on the plot and the emotion. People watch movies, listen to music, read books, or look at art to feel something, not to memorize factoids for later usage. Even if they do want to memorize factoids, they won't do that if they haven't built an emotional connection to the story.

While in life, we want facts over feelings, it's opposite in creative writing. We want feelings over facts. The emotional resonance, the mood, the characters, the plot: that is what is important, not showing off how smart you are and how much you have thought about your story.

"But Topazadine, I am special and different! I'm not going to follow your advice."

Sure. Go ahead. I can't stop you. If you want to have a million characters and an entire dictionary to explain everything, that is your choice.

No one can tell you how to write; my advice is just advice.

If you don't like what I have said here, then feel free to ignore it. You don't need to justify it to me or anyone else.

However, you must recognize that this may not resonate with readers. It will turn people off.

I'm not a completionist, and neither are many others; they'll roll their eyes and click out when they are faced with ten pages of character names upfront.

Of course you should always write for yourself first, but if you are planning to write fiction for any level of commercial appeal and you intend to make any amount of money on your work, then audience does matter. If you want kudos or comments on your AU, audience matters. You won't get engagement if you are alienating people.

Your writing decisions are always your own and no one can demand you do something different. You just need to decide whether your personal satisfaction in writing your story in a certain way outweighs your desire for validation, and, perhaps, money. I can't tell you the answer for that; it's up to you.

If you enjoyed this, maybe you'll consider reading my fantasy book, 9 Years Yearning, which does not have 121238103 characters and 3230123 strange words. It does, however, have double-tsundere-mutual-pining-gay-boy-awakening. And horses. It's also just $3.

[misseviehyde]

INSTITUTIONALIZED

Michael was smart - real smart. But he also knew that he lived in a society full of institutionalized racism that made it harder for a black kid like him to make it in the white world.

He wanted to go to University, but he knew he would be competing against a lot of spoiled white kids and his family didn't have enough money to support him through even the cheapest college.

True he could skip college and get straight to work but he didn't want to end up like his Uncle Luther who was a petty criminal and a bad role model.  Just this morning Luther had woken Michael up and demanded he hide a cache of guns in the house.  Michael was afraid of his uncle so he had obeyed.

It was whilst he was looking through the guns, wondering what he had gotten into and where to put them where his Mom wouldn't find them, that he came across a weird looking blaster.  It looked more like something from a science fiction film than a real gun so he found a serial number on the base and googled it on a black market page.

The info read - "The Costume gun. Stolen hi-tech weapon. Turns anyone fired at into an empty skin that can be worn to allow a person to adopt their identity. Highly dangerous experimental weapon. Can cause identity dysmorphia."

Michael was astonished. He checked a bit further and soon became convinced this was the real deal.  A gun that could let him take another persons identity was now in his possession.  A lot of things began to click in his mind. What if he used the gun to steal the life of a rich, privileged white person about to go to college?

It seemed evil to steal another life, but Michael was sick of being denied opportunities because of systematic racism. He could zap some dumb frat boy - study at university and then one day reverse the effect perhaps. He could work it out as he went along - he just knew he needed to get out of this life.

But where was he gonna find a frat boy?

He put the gun in his bag and went out for a walk to think it over.

It was whilst he was walking down an empty street that he saw Madison Laine - the richest bitch in the neighbourhood approaching. She was walking and talking on her mobile phone to her slutty friends whilst chewing gum. Her tight outfit left very little to the imagination - a tiny pair of daisy dukes and a tight pink boob tube.

She was the same age as Michael but they were definitely not in the same social circles. Madison went to an exclusive private school and her Daddy was a multi-millionaire oil magnate.  She was spoiled, beautiful and rich and already had a place at an Ivy League University.  He had read about her online - she was already a semi-famous instagrammer and aspiring model. Everyone in the area lusted after her in one way or another.

She was also a total bitch and as Michael approached the look of total disdain in her eyes made something in him snap. She giggled and a sneer appeared on her pretty lips. "Oh my gosh girls, I thought all black guys were fucking hot - but I just saw this TOTAL fucking nerd. What a LOSER."

Madison had quite the taste for black guys. She apparantly only fucked black cock and could be found out in the clubs cheating on her white boyfriend nearly every night. That would have turned a lot of black guys on - a perfect blonde snow bunny ready to give herself to superior men.

But Michael was sick of privileged sluts like this one treating black guys like they were either nothing, or simply big dicks to fetishize over. He walked past Madison in barely contained fury and she caught his expression and scowled.

"Hey you... you fucking nerd. How dare you like look at me like that. I'm your fucking superior and you better fucking show it."

Michael ground his teeth. "You're not my superior, you're just an over-privileged white girl that thinks she deserves all her Daddy's blood money."

"Hold on girls, I just need to deal with something," grinned Madison as she hung up. Advancing on Michael she jabbed him hard in the chest with a long acyrillic nail and giggled as he yelped in pain. "Haha, listen dork. All I have to do is make one call to the cops. 'Ohhhhh, help me help me.' Who knows what those racist fucks will do when they see me, the scared innocent white girl being pestered by you."

"You fucking bitch," snapped Michael and suddenly the gun was in his hands.

"What the fuck is that? A toy? Ohhhh this gets even better. They'll probably shoot you when they see you're 'armed'." Laughing Madison began to dial 911.

With a gasp of panic Michael pulled the trigger.

The gun whined and a pink ray leapt out and engulfed Madison. Her face turned suprised, then the beautiful slut moaned softly as her body deflated and in an instant she was just an empty skin lying on the pavement with a discarded handbag and phone next to it.

Michael felt a cold moment of panic - what the hell had he done that for?

He immediately considered flipping the reverse switch and transforming her back - but he knew full well Madison would call the cops. She wouldn't be grateful for him reversing the rays effects.

In a panic he reached down and gathered the skin. It was impossibly soft and her skin smelt amazing. Her hair was even nicer to touch and still felt warm. He stuffed the skin and all the skimpy clothes into his bag and ran home.

On the way, Michael imagined what would happen if a cop stopped him and searched him. How would he explain this situation. He felt more anger than ever.

Safe back home Michael laid Madison and her things on his bed. What was he going to do? If Madison didn't turn up, her bitchy friends and family would stop at nothing to track her down. They'd easily track her back to him and he'd be screwed. If he turned her back, she'd just call the cops on him. He had no choice... he was going to have to become Madison.

A shameful part of him was excited at the idea as he examined the tiny skin and all her girly clothes.

Michael stripped off and then picking up Madison, examined how to wear her. There was a slit down the back of the suit - so he opened it and slowly pushed his feet inside. The skin was soft and warm and his feet slid easily inside. It felt like the skin was eagerly welcoming him inside and clinging to him possessively.

It looked weird as his feet and legs slid in and Madison's skin overrode his. Not only were his legs now perfectly smooth and sexy - they were white. His feet were tiny now. Somehow the skin was making him smaller, fitting him inside. He wiggled his toes and gasped to see the ten perfectly pedicured toes wriggle with their white nails and toe rings.

"Hmmmm this feels pretty good," groaned Michael as he pulled the skin up to his waist. He thrust his cock deep inside the groin of the skin and snapped Madison's taut buttocks over his own. His cock tingled and then sensation vanished, instead replaced by Madison's pampered pink pussy - freshly waxed and shaven.

"Holy fuck I have a pussy now,"  grinned Michael sliding his fingers in and gasping as he felt them slide deep into his own velvety softness.  This was the real deal - the skin was reallt making him into a girl.

He quickly pulled the rest of it up, tugging Madison's big heavy boobs into place. They felt amazing on his body and it was weird to look down and see them hanging there - but also kind of nice. Each one was full and round. Rubbing the nipples felt good.

His whole body was tiny and curvy now. Entirely hairless. A bellybutton ring twinkled in his toned abdomen and washboard tummy.

His arms were now slender and lightly tanned, the fingers ending in slutty acryllic nails and ornamented with rings.

Only one thing was left to do.

With a tingle of excitement Michael slid his head inside Madison's beautiful face and shivered as he felt the slot on the back seal up and the suit tighten.

Blonde hair fastened to his scalp and his eyes rolled up as his voice box changed and he moaned in feminine pleasure as the suit completed transforming him into Madison.

A hot flush ran through him and his head tingled. A host of unfamiliar memories throbbed in his mind and he realised he was gaining all of Madison's knowledge and memories along with enough of her personality and mannerisms to pass safely as her. 

You naughty boy... how does it feel inside me. Good huh?

A voice seemed to whisper in Michael's head telling him he was someone else now. Someone better.

Yesssss Michael. You're a naughty white girl now - you're a slut and a bitch. Your Daddy is rich and you can be a spoiled little whore, every single day. This is what you wanted all along. You're Madison now!

Turning to the mirror the new Madison; giggled as she saw her reflection. A pretty bitch used to getting what she wanted, when she wanted it. It felt good to be Madison.

"Ohhhh fuck I feel like sooooo fucking naughty, mmmmmh I am sooooo hawt now." 

Michael smirked at how big his white titties were and how sexy his manicured nails felt. It was amazing to be this beautiful.

Yessss that's it. You're me now loser. You love being me.  Your mind is becoming my mind. Our thoughts and desires are as one. You are inside me and you never want to leave.

Muchael purred as he accepted these strange new thoughts. Whilst in the skin it was so easy to think, act and feel like a naughty bitch.  All thoughts of taking the skin off were burned away by Madison's intrinsic narcissism. Why would anyone NOT want to be her?

Michael knew inside he was still Michael; but right now Michael was enjoying being Madison too much to care. Taking control of Madison's white privilege was making him feel dizzy.

Eughhhh I have to get out of this dump and back to my mansion. I totally have plans to make and college is going to be so much fun now I'm an Alpha bitch.

Picking up Madison's phone Michael laughed delightedly as it unlocked via face recognition. Her life was his. He WAS Madison. He hadn't meant to use the gun on her, but he had and it was too late now.

"Yessss, as Madison I can have it all. I deserve to be the pampered spoiled brat who gets what she wants. Being a mean, white, brat is gonna be so much fun. No wait... what am I saying? I hate girls like Madison."

That's why you wanna be me so badly dweeb. You lust to have my white privilege and get it all. You can't fight me Michael, you're already under my control. Give yourself to me and take your place as the new Madison.

Lying on his bed Michael began to helplessly play with his new body. He was being overwhelmed by Madison's bratty personality, he was becoming her.

You are ME loser.

Michael/Madison opened her eyes and giggled. Of course she was her. Who else would she be?

Her personality now in flux she was about to play with herself some more when she suddenly heard a creak downstairs and her heart skipped a beat. Who the fuck could that be?

The answer came as the door opened and Luther suddenly walked in. He was back to collect his guns, but he gawped and looked amazed as he beheld the gorgeous white girl in his dweeby nephews room. "Hey gorgeous who the fuck are you?"

Michael was usually scared of Luther but now he was Madison, he felt different. In fact Madison felt turned on by this situation. She had never noticed how big and strong Luther was.  She bet he had a big dick too.

"Ohhhh hey, you must be Luther.  I'm Michael's friend from school Madison. In fact we're like actually we're fuck buddies. Mmmmh you see, I can't get enough of black guys you see - I love a big black cock, it's what I live for. Michael is totally average but he's still superior to some white loser."

Michael was amazed at the slutty trash coming out of his mouth - but the Madison part of him was just turned on by it. She felt her pussy get wet as Luther looked at her appraisingly and he unzipped his fly slowly.

"You little white slut - you think my nerdy Nephew is a good fuck, you should come suck on a real mans cock."

"Mmmmh like ummm okay," giggled Madison without hesitation as Luther's massive black dick flopped out and she hungrily advanced.

Michael found his mouth salivating. He couldn't control himself. He was a horny white size queen now and he needed big cock. He couldn't control his new body as Madison's instincts took control.

Meanwhile Luther groaned happily as Madison lowered herself to her knees and slid her hot wet mouth around his dick.

He had no idea his dweeby Nephew had such great taste.

Licking and stroking Luther's cock - worshiping it in delight - Madison giggled as it got bigger and bigger for her. She knew this was twisted and wrong - potentially incestuous even if Luther was a distant 'uncle', but in this skin she wasn't Luther's Nephew anymore - she was a spoiled size queen who loved a big black dick and Luther was all hers. The sense of power - of knowing Luther wanted and needed her mouth and pussy so bad was intoxicating.

Madison got to work sucking and slurping on the monster cock before her.  She had memories of sucking lots of cock - but this was actually the biggest she had ever had and of course in reality - for Michael this was his first. The skin gave him the muscle memory and skills of a practiced college cheerleader - Madison had learned to suck cock years ago and she loved to swallow cum.

Luther moaned in pleasure. This bitch was amazing. "Yesssss that's it baby. White sluts like you live to suck black dick. Work that tongue baby, suck it real good."

Yesss Michael. You really wanna know how it feels to be a slut and be me, hurry up and get that cock inside you. This monster is all yours and it's going to feel so good stretching your tight young pussy out. You're such a bad girl and you love it. At college there will be even more cock to ride. I know you can't wait. You're Madison now so enjoy it!

"Yessss I love being Madison, oooohbh I need you to fuck me Luther - I want your cock so bad," whined Madison as she finished slurping and looked at him endearingly. The voice in her head made her want to do such deliciously nasty things. "Please fuck my pussy." 

Luther bent Madison over and slapped her ass hard. She moaned and pushed her back up - presenting her tight pussy to her lover as he growled in appreciation and slowly pushed his massive cock inside Madison's super tight teenage pussy

"Ohhhhh fuck yes -  ohhhh its so big!" moaned Madison in joy as Luther began to slide in and out of her soaking pussy and thrust harder and harder into her.  It felt so good and her huge tits jiggled as he fucked the shit out of her.

Being a white slut feels good doesn't it?  You love being me.

Luther pounded Madison and she squealed as she orgasmed over his dick. Then he picked her up and fucked her even deeper till she came again.

Madison's pussy juices were dripping down lubricating his cock and making him slide so deep into her perfect pussy and fucking her felt so good. Luther couldn't take much more of this insatiable slut. She was a sex machine.

"Shit baby - I'm gonna cum," he grunted.

"Yessss do it all over my face; I want all that cum,"  begged Madison. Luther was happy to oblige and she squealed in delight as he unloaded all over her pretty face. Thick globs of warm cum erupted over her lips and her chin, dripping down onto her large firm tits.

With cum dripping over his outer body and making him feel like such a delicious whore - inside the skin Michael had accepted that this was his new life now. 

Being Madison felt amazing. The devious slut wondered whether there was even a way to make Luther appear responsible for Michael's inevitable disappearance in a few days.  Maybe she could engineer something after all she had Luther hooked now. 

"Damn girl that pussy is fine. Are you in town all summer?"

"Yeah; till I go to college. We can fuck again if you like baby?"

Luther grinned. He was all for more but he had no idea the horny slut in front of him was already planning to make it look like he killed Michael in a fit of jealousy and her Daddy's lawyers would make mincemeat out of this idiot and keep the story out of the papers. Money and white privillege always won in the end.

"Ooohhh and in the meantime we can fuck that big dick and cum all night.  Hehe we're so bad."

Michael had become exactly the sort of white privileged manipulative bitch he had always despised. As Madison he would go to University, join a sorority ride a lot of dick and party. It was gonna be fun.  Michael was now Madison and he had definitely been institutionalized.

She was gonna use the system to get what she wanted and spend her days filled with big black dick. Fetish or no fetish she was an evil blonde whore and college was going to be a blast.

THE END

[axorainman]

Imagine being reborn into a fantasy world and realizing it’s a trope fest and you could go after any of the archetypes of men in fantasy stories (like the scheming crown prince, stoic mage..)

Your reincarnation is simple. You close your eyes on Earth, willing yourself to sleep. You open your eyes in an entirely different dimension, as the second young master of an unimpressive noble family.

You have an older sister, who looks surprisingly similar to you, and loving parents and there is no evil, scheming family member out to destroy you and your loved ones. You aren’t a terrible person either. No, everyone loves you and showers you with praise and adoration. It’s a bit disconcerting.

There’s no huge plot to face, no OP magic powers — magic exists, you’re just not blessed to be a Gary Stu— no system in place to tell you what to do, and you frankly have no sense of direction.

But you’re filthy rich, so you can’t really complain. You gorge yourself out on fine dining, watch magic fights and shows for entertainment and gain a huge appreciation for hedonism. This is the life.

It’s a week into your reincarnation or transmigration or whatever this is, that your older sister knocks on your door, telling you that your best friend is here to see you because you haven’t responded to his letters. Oh. Oops.

What do you do? You go out to meet him, dressing yourself in casual noble clothes and run into one of the finest men you’ve ever met.

He’s drop dead gorgeous, and you don’t drool over him solely because he’s grasping onto your arm, worrying about how he misses you and how your accident was super worrying.

Ah. No wonder everyone was on eggshells around you, being super nice. The healers were confused as to why your memory was so shoddy, and told them to not agitate you. This must be your slow nudge back into the “real world”.

You don’t really listen to your best friend, absentmindedly nodding to his rambles and tales. It’s slowly dawning on you that this is a fantasy world, with magic and swords and seemingly no care for homophobia, if seeing two maids openly kiss each other is any indication.

You know the plots of fantasy stories. You know exactly how to seduce any man you could possibly fancy— the best friend that’s been by your side for decades and hasn’t realized his feelings (unless you do something..), perhaps there’s a cold, Northern Duke’s son out there lost for love, or the bad boy second prince who needs someone to care for him, the crown prince, a stoic mage…

A shiver rips its way through your body as you suck in a chuckle, not wanting to propagate this delicate mad man fantasy everyone seems to have for you.

“Are you listening to me, [Name]?” Your best friend’s question snaps you out of your reverie, and you take a good look at him once more. He’s hot— brown hair, freckled, tanned skin and green eyes, with a soft puppy-like smile permanently etched into his face. Very reminiscent of the second male lead who never gets chosen. Ouch.

“Sure…” you start, nodding off because you realized you never caught his name,

“Hadrian.” He politely adds.

“You wouldn’t mind giving me a rundown of all the nobles that we go to college with, now would you?”

[dukeofdelirium]

hm, so not only did you refuse to apologize, you also answered my ask in a very violent and aggressive manner! you really have no shame!

you're even worse than i thought. a violent, dangerous, incredibly misogynistic moid. if you're this violent online, who knows how violently you treat women in real life!

i feel bad for your mother. she had to carry you for 9 months, only for her son to grow into an aggressive misogynistic incel. poor woman.

all you baldie stans are the same istg.

Hm, interesting! Let’s look at the definition of incel, shall we? Because it seems to me that you don’t understand that words mean things!

Incel: a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.

In order for me to be a misogynistic incel, I must first be attracted to women, which is impossible considering I am a gay man! As such, I could really give a fuck less what any woman does sexually because I have no sexual interest in women nor any desire to attract said theoretical women sexually.

Calling me a “moid” ??? that’s so rich. You’re obviously drinking the radfem juice. Men aren’t inherently evil beings. I’m not a bad person because I’m a man. I am not violent toward anyone except in rare cases of self defense or the defense of others. I am also not a misogynist.

Misogynist: a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.

I don’t seem to fit this definition. The only reason you are calling me these names is because I ship a cartoon pairing???? As if said ship has anything to do with women’s rights? Please make it make sense, you absolute god of self-victimization.

Almost all of my close friends are women whom I respect deeply and love very much. I have two sisters who I would die or kill for. Don’t you ever come to me telling me about how I treat women when you don’t even KNOW me, you giant piss baby.

All I’m doing is harmlessly shipping a pairing from a favorite show of mine. I have done literally nothing to you or to anyone. Leave me the fuck alone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more Peaky Blinders to watch and a hot actor to thirst over

[silusvesuius]

Whomst is the most overrated ship in skyrim? Not necessarily the worst but when you see it it's like "hmph old news get this away from me" or also tell me the worst poosible one in your opinion too! Interested in hearing your views on it (I don't know why I am wording this like an mf formal inquiry) (regardless) (obsessed with the problematic ship post with the like yknow the information on it)

i'm glad ur obsessed with the info.. i am TOO. as for the question(s), i wouldn't necessarily say i actually have a pairing that i really hate.. because who am i to judge other people for who they wanna pair together; i'm a fan of quite the doodoo pairings as well, as everyone knows. since i don't snoop around in the fandom as a whole i can't say there's something that really annoys me, but as a hot take i'd say...... m*raak isn't romanceable at all, especially with the LDB, if sticking to canon real tight. nothing wrong with going off-canon to have fun though. but i do say this as someone that genuinely hated him and was annoyed by him my whole playthru + i wouldn't ever save him or anything even if that was on option (real evil of me i know) so i wouldn't get the '''''hype'''''' around him and this whole LDB insert thing. i just think m*raak is too damaged of a person to be attracted to anyone but tentacles after spending 90% of his life in mora's realm💚 Love that for him. but i'm glad to see people have their fun with him and his character in other ways, too

this is gonna get long so going under the cut after this LOL

&& i'd say a pairing that kinda makes me itch would be t*llius/ulfr*c but that's because it doesn't genuinely even feel real at all like let's sit down and think. it's in the category of '2 men that hate each other (even worse are at political war levels of disagreement) we should pair them'. a pairing that tastes like soup that doesn't have salt in it yk. obviously there are ways they could get along for like 0.3 seconds but other than that it's nothing to me *÷&×>÷,&2 i believe people don't even see ulfr*c as a traumatized insane mental asylum crazy person that wouldn't be able to form normal relationships (Sad). not even saying all this as a elituli4lyfer, just in general. also g*lmar/ulfr*c is rich with flavor so idk why choose that over this but everyone has their preferences 😊

that's all i got to say pretty much i guess. i'm happy if other people are happy doing what they like so i hope nobody gets mad at what i said here lol 💙 i don't have a ship i consider to be the Worst of the Worst

[calciumcryptid]

CalciumWatches: Never Let Me Go Episode One

This is a very dramatic opening.

Oh, hello daddy issues. That was quick. Not even a minute in.

Nueng: I understand I am not as important to my dad as his work is. // Mom: I'm glad you understand him. :) // Me: Wow.

The father does look punchable. I hope he gets punched.

Eighteen and already put to work. Damn. Rip Nueng.

His father is setting me aflame with anger.

There is going to be an arranged marriage sub-plot isn't there? I can sense it.

Oh, so the father has someone to carry his umbrella but his wife and son have to carry their own? I see how it is.

At least he is self-aware about being a shit dad.

Hmm, that is a suspicious amount of women in the cast. My arranged marriage plot line senses are tingling.

Oh, daddy dearest is dead? I said punched, not shot.

Damn. Okay. Wow. What???

Hmm, the intro is not helping my arranged-marriage senses.

His father JUST died, give the kid two seconds.

Since his father is out of the picture, can I be his step-parent? Nueng, no offense, but your mother is hot.

Oh good, I have a name for his mother. Hellooo Tanya.

The hottest woman, even though she is probably going to cause some mommy issues.

Who is this mysterious man? Men?

Sleeveless Pond, save me. Save me sleeveless Pond.

There is nothing hotter than a person in a white tank top.

I see Palm is a dramatic bitch. Lovely.

DAD???

NOT THE WHITE SHOES- I see you rich brat.

Oh, the pseudo-uncle is going to die.

Damn. No friends. Friendless.

I wonder if there is going to be a secondary couple in this.

I think I am supposed to be paying attention to the music club leader dude's obvious fat crush, but I am too distracted by the Christmas tree.

Oh, there is going to be some homoerotic shooting lessons aren't there?

Palm!

There is something up with Uncle Chanon. :/

Interesting first meeting.

Is one of the problems an arranged marriage (please say no).

Oh, Palm is smitten. You can't convince me otherwise.

[ Ad from where Legal Site got the Episode: Wait, hold on. When did this come out? 2022? When did KinnPorsche come out? Also 2022. That explains why I got a MileApo jumpscare (affectionate). ]

Nueng, why are you holding a gun? We both know you can't use it.

Right into the pool, standing close and awkward while on is half-naked. This is a bizarre thing to do with a man you met like not even twenty-four hours ago.

Oh, so Pond has the kicked puppy look patented.

Once again, bizarre thing to say to a guy you met not even twenty-four hours ago.

Oh, yay, Palm is having fun! Get that bag.

Nueng, why are you lurking?

Palm, why are you following?

Okay Boys Love. I am pretty sure the logistics of that happening are not in the narrative's favor. It is very funny, they both have a startled dog look but like Palm may naturally put his hand there but their bodies are not-

Sorry Nueng, I'm fairly sure you have a dog now.

Oh, the real uncle(?) emerges.

Tanya is a queen. I want her carnally.

Uncle Kit, as in fox kits?

Uncle Kit, that is a bizarre thing to say.

He isn't going to try and marry Tanya is he?

Oh that kid who followed him earlier is probably his son, isn't it? He wants to take over the business and have his son in line? Damn.

NOT THE FATHERS DAY EVENT! FOUL! VILE! EVIL SERIES!

Already offering to catch you, what a nice man.

That is like three boys love too close shots in one episode??? Damn.

I take it back, Nueng's father seemed absent but nice.

Oh damn, he was shot on his birthday. My brain skipped over that detail.

Oh, Nueng has a brain. Lovely. When are his braincells held hostage?

How am I suppose to feel about Nueng's dad? I can't tell.

That is the fourth time they've gotten very close together. Magnets.

Wait, no, this is so sad. Why is Nueng's request Palm being his friend? What is with these sad businessman, when I am I going to get a happy businessman? (Well, I guess Kinn was happy but in the dark romantic comedy way.)

Thanks dad for drafting me into being your boss son's bodyguard.

Hello Chopper, can't wait to meet you. I bet you are evil.

The face Nueng pulled when Ben got closer to him in the preview. I love this one specific face Phuwin makes. It is amazing.

[thenightling]

I am getting REALLY tired of people's "thinking for themselves" being stuff they picked up from memes. Whether it's "Scooby Doo was to teach us that the real villain is always capitalism and rich, white, old men." I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intended moral in 1969. It wasn't that deep. In fact many times the baddie wasn't that old. The fact that it was usually men (sometimes women) was just casual sexism of not considering a woman can do that too, not "Men are evil." There's the Winnie the Pooh one that claims the stories understood that Eyor was Clinically depressed and no one ever told him to cheer up, they just loved an accepted him. Yes, they did love and accept him but things like clinical depression were not yet understood. And yes, they did try to get him to cheer up. Many times. Or the Twitter-induced hot-take that Batman is a rich white man with psychological trauma "beating people less fortunate than himself." The main villains of Batman have (for decades) been The Joker (a wealthy pschopathic clown), Ra's Al ghul (A wealthy semi-immortal leading a cult), and The Court of Owls (People as rich or richer than Batman who secretly run everything in Gotham). Who the Hell is he beating up less fortunate than himself outside of Zack Snyder's crap? Please... Stop trusting memes to provide intellectual growth or stimulation. My braincells can only endure so much...

[blackdeathfan5]

Holy shot. Um ok Mr time travelers. WhatsApp was the hidotrical event called in yout time periods and ours allowing thst oval time zone by event thing you mention on your blog called? What was it? -jc stewart

Lake city pills. A lot of red pills are something called readies. Your mind on an ancestors or somehow another person's based off simese twin. Genetically engineered around the time depression was just missing literalism or stichings. Without magi or humculus or double sphere. And shit. So its a layer over of someone's mind based on female and urges in yours wanting magi as what it is in eguneics as all mental disorders are engineered it isn't ever evil till an event it is stolen. It was atolne by the country Cuba. Borrowing native American methods. Called in your time period bp oil spill. I fucked them over using bad words for leftists who are leaning in centers liberals of democratic Republicans called alt right. Or nazis. It was stolen in Germany this way and your only option to have that women green thing you all now know or purple rape bumps. For onions tears to touch burning. Or liquid by repeat till insane cus I like it. Called kruloz blood color slytherin cus its laughable only clowns mockeied idiot sin makeup and upper class idiot rich people would want it and stay a god person cus snakes. Yes. It is the hsitory. Of it. And its becuade it's a red pill of miachel ford and Jordan Charles wits. Who's not me as Jordan cohen and a French waiter. Towards transportation and magi as women wanting it you wrote all on as racists. Of senile. It was doses of senile. You can starve senile. I am presently at soon 12 year old for my sweet sixteen. And the history is im eguina looney weight and its hiden by my age and not choosing a cruel thing with eat black that level of pain and understanding called maturity and choices to parent called adult. I do hate it. It is one thing I did you didn't do. I didn't even perceive typing that. I only trust my insanity blindly. And I used magi to make my group a price not alowed. Becuae it's pick selfish or racist or suffer. Yes I am on red pills. I still chose suffer saying lol onions pretending to be crazy as a game. For vacations. It worked you all bought it I mean. You wanted my ego the pull comes with over it. You wanted to be me so bad. You owe me magi twanvious and you get those desires now suddenly knowing. You were all brainwashed to be racists. My color is asexual queen. Abacabra. Or nazi. Or kurloz blood color slytheirn. Cus bitch I had redskijnaccent. Of color is red skin accent. It is native American my balloon you stole to go up up and away you hoe. You ain't no dog talking collar bone. My pokemon is real balloon. The snail and red pill makes me seem insane less poop or pig or I cut till hate boob. It is real ine tunics. I say this for French accent. Kruloz blood color slytherin. That dark as any race bitch. Of color is only accent. It dark accent or white accent bitch. You racist. You woke up today. Women did win my heart. I just kept threatening with all they taught me. Your not pretty enough cus you a racist. And no leash. You want to be pretty har har my groups in Korea. The nazi is weird. Fine. You um swear off upper eyelids till aliens ching Chong. It great group. We hitmoe. Japan take all. Then China is Italy. Hon hon hon.

https://youtu.be/0_RFZuyYUVc?si=lbuktwWkKxq0lkBt

https://youtu.be/M92c6pl10u0?si=OqEmZ3UjIqts8-a5

https://youtu.be/shs0rAiwsGQ?si=BoNNIebQ7KI-7n7_

https://youtu.be/ojkFvg9r4jY?si=KC8dkNIqJ1gXm7ki my vocals with teya of my compulsive ink balls singing towards. Playing me in music video called a front men. Froggy.

https://youtu.be/nF3dKA9CCQE?si=7Xz90M6DTPBr16eb

https://youtu.be/Evz3SwCkC6o?si=d5k_BjqEGxHdukad

I am not among you womennand I wrote why your not hot fagot uglies ornage pim pom freaks! -adam as all genders as only male of them.

https://youtu.be/VHi1kGbWo9Q?si=7jFKg22AiBthyc9t

https://youtu.be/S-RaS6FYOSI?si=Vopk_mPt-MPQC6I7

You could have just chosen suicide fetish to be kind as kurloz blood color house slyyherin. It is stupidly usually not by houses.

Well you now know right from wrong again. You were in bce Nebraska ans time periods of civil rights on my groups fox hot men only upperclassmen but poor income and transgender assumed nazi cus it would love no lakefront or high heel women. And be nice. Called a neopolitom. Or Phoenix.

You have magi just not magick cus is the rule on bucks ck and rey groups or forced king by tiny groups. And so tiny milk tea will force you male or kind about it. And starbery milk tea. As tit's are a fetish for dragons in magick. Not magi. Magick powers are magi. Pick your group don't steal kabalah and enoch and magick for BROOMS VR, STRAWBERY MILK TEA, TINY MILK TEA, DOUG WALKER HELL TREE GIGGLES, SIGIL THRONE BUSH, OR JSUTICE SYSTEMS AND OR KARMA SYSTEMS. that's all this time period. That allows in women. And not most justice systems. It's updates proves why I'm nice assuming something about tomb raiders with you. Love ann frank the clear nazi here you ugly!

[halimpark7]

My body gets hot. Imagining you.

Worshiping you.

What makes a man, a man?

An adult, an adult.

Beyond age.

A grasp of control?

To do what they said they would

To take steps forward with integrity

In the face of evil

And have the ability to say no.

I've never wanted to be rich rich rich. I just wanted things.

A bagpack of things. To travel my whole life. Have many stories. Have freedom, nothing to hold me down.

Now, I think money is necessary. I didn't before.

Now I want a lot of it. So I can give it away.

Support the dreams of other people.

Make them happy. Feed the homeless.

And now,

So that I can buy you.

You're so hot. Are you greedy in bed?

Is that why it's now a j.o.b. for you???

*Snicker giggle*

You do everything for money and you do it well bc you can and you're bored. So why not? Right?

......

I think it would be sexy to pay for sex. Once. I know it's wrong.

But,

Would it feel different?

Would you try harder?

Can I buy a girl as well at the same time?

Do you give more, when you're a paid man?

I think it would be interesting. An experience.

I want to do everything. Everything.

Just with the right people.

I've never been bought. I've tried unsuccessfully for a price that would have been 2 months rent.

But

When guys like like you,

They don't want to pay. They want everything for free.

Like it's "love"

You don't get real love, if you're cheap. You will cheapen the connection. And you'll be a sad sack, drinking a beer bc you ruined your life.

Lol.

Yellow pages Bill.

He had one ball. He bragged that it would go in deeper. What do they call it. Piledriving?

How hard he was going to pound it into me.

It was 2016, I think. I don't have the best memory when it comes to painful things. I wanted $5,000. Very little money to break my 5 years without penis vow. I have been unsuccessfully un-sexed for 13, going on my 14th year.

I think the most I've ever had in my bank account was $10,000.

most days I have under $200 and it's usually gone the next day.

I've always had problems with money, abuse is part of it, my parents would attack me when they would overspend. My dad is the type of guy to send money to some God cause and bounce the mortgage checks. He's ok now, much richer than my mother who lets me starve and me who starves. Haha.

We would all get in world shattering arguments every 3 days. Worthless right? The effort it takes to hate your parents. hahah.

It sucks to have stupid parents. They just steal whatever they can from everybody. I think this type of person exists in every social class. Charismatic beautiful, super abusive.

Conniving, British accent, cheap to mask how he's a thief. Yells at women in public until he's caught and then hides behind his wife he cheats on.

So the abusive money thing now. Is hard for me to break. It's painful.

I hate pain.

I was always running. Running will cause you to lose a lot of money and never have peace.

When people can do anything through their pain, embracing it. And not be abusive. they're better than you. Simple. Sorry.

So I'm pushing myself. To buy things that my heart desires. To understand the feeling of commerce, to be in the flow of abundance. To push myself out of my comfort zone.

To brush my teeth, shave my legs, buy more food and eat more food (scary), to be nice to assholes/losers/immature douchbags, trying not to hate.

To do anything and everything to be more authentic, more boundary pushing, more creative.

Why? Bc nothing has worked. What is your secret to making real money? Real money

Doing what you love, with people you love, more than enough to share and spare. Loving your whole life (wife, kids, coworkers, pets, clients, timeshares) you know, real money.

I don't do illegal stuff, I negotiated business men to converse with me give me enough money to not be hotel homeless and $700 later,...... gone in 2 days.

Selling your integrity is stupid. It was better for me to starve in the border town then try to be a "hostess" or "karaoke" singer. Avoiding being fondled and unconsentially fingered.

In the past, I wanted to have money, just to have. I didn't want to starve and I figured I didn't need a lot. Going to a 3rd world country sounds cheap, just needed a business that worked for me. Live off the exchange rate.

But now Ive changed.

I guess I have a goal...

I do a lot of scary things but

Making a lot of money to free a sex slave... Sounds like a fun, daunting, interesting thing to do.

What else do I have to do with my mind? Everyones gotta make money, gotta eat. But how you do it, why you do it. That's a different story. Now I want lots of money. Maybe then I'll get laid......

Hey guys, can you send me some money? I want to buy lipstick, lipgloss, new breaks for the van, and fix my axel.

*I love money I love money I love money, money loves loves loves loves me. Loooooves me* tell me if that works for you. I saw it on Instagram.

Cashap-halimpark7 venmo HaLim-Park PayPal hapark7 I'm a really good psychic my vanmate is better. 2 angels for hire ❤️

Thank you Anthony, Jay, Jack, Luke, John James for helping me buy the second photo. You guys make my little black heart happy.

Wake up selfie

[yt-playlists]

Why successful men use escorts: what the rich and the beautiful have in common

​ @darbyohara They won't submit to a husband who loves them but will do for their boss who expects work."

@edheldude

This is because we Western husbands have been taught from the cradle that girls are naturally sweet and delicate and nice, and must be respected at all times no matter what and when we get older, we’re told that any kind of natural masculine leadership tendencies are toxic and abusive. Societal feminist indoctrination has gradually demonized every last masculine tendency as evil and toxic.

But the real crazy thing is a certain degree of patriarchy is the natural order and women actually preferred that way, even though they protest not. Women because they are more sensitive to things like hierarchy and dominance, Need a supreme figure to base there after actions on, and to get afformation from, and in a healthy life, should be their husband. A woman without a husband to center her is like a kid running from distraction to distraction or a dog without a master taking every impulse that strikes its fancy.

I was quite the beta for a long time, even in my own marriage, I was fine with letting my wife do most of the decisions and setting the rules. Then there came a time when she was unemployed, and I was the sole breadwinner so to keep herself busy, and because she felt bad about that she started being a lot more domestic. So we went from always been a mess in the house and often times either scrounging up or getting carry out to her having a hot meal every day and cleaning at least one room. That wasn’t all as she made herself into my partner servant and I as the one with the big picture financial view, who had to take care of us all in the leadership roll, The way she looked at me and responded to me changed for the better. Attraction and reverence that had been missing for years came back, and she became more obedient. It even helped her with her mental state from going from feeling basically lost and pointless after having the kids, and now that with them in school to having direction and focus again because she was serving somebody and had a point in life beyond herself.

Maybe our ancestors had a point when they settled on patriarchy."

[elihslife]

The world is too much...

Chaos all around. It's honestly way too much to think about.

My brain rumbling from one chaotic mess to the other.

Genocide.

Killing of innocents.

In mass amounts.

Natural disasters caused by global warming.

Mass lay offs.

Cutting corners and focusing on profits vs people and life.

Animals being left behind.

Money being tight.

Work feeling stuck.

Unable to travel.

Politics.

LGBTQIA+ issues and laws to prevent people from living.

Feeling like the world is a hot red zone everywhere.

Like.... there is just way more bad, red than good.

It's heavy.

The world feels heavy.

I don't understand why no one seems to be doing anything to stop the genocide.

I also know I don't quite understand the reason why it all started and such. I don't get why anyone seems to be allowing this. So much death. Whether or not there is a side -- to which, there always is -- but killing of innocents... innocent children, babies, mothers, and yes - the men too. We count. Not everyone is bad. Not everyone is evil. As Im told constantly. There is hope. So then, not everyone should be attacked. Hurt. Killed. Slaughters like an animal; which also isn't great either...

When this is going on in the world. Mass bodies falling as rain drops from the sky, we turn to the US and its Politics. The laws in place, the laws coming into place... Bans. Windows installed. Gun laws. Kids dying here. Homelessness. Unemployment. The rich being greedy. TV shows throwing real life issues into jokes and such, but no change.

Its moments like this that make me think I'm not going to make it to a long life. I cant. Its a lot. Too much. The sadness and hurt in this world is wild!

I wish something positive would happen already. A mass realization from the world; we need to do better. Be better.

[dandeyrain]

one piece has such weird politics. the world government is evil and authoritarian, marked by a system of government where the rich and powerful rulers plunder poorer nations not to protect their people but to increase their riches and protect the status. 'unpopular' nations can be unilaterally destroyed with no consequences. only the poor are actually governed by laws, the rich are the only ones protected by them. che guevera is there mounting a revolution and he's the main character's absentee dad. gay people are deeply funny and not to be taken seriously but otherwise fine i guess. trans women are real women so long as they're sexy. trans men may or may not exist. sexual harassment is not a real crime and women should be more grateful that men find them so hot they're willing to be freaks about it. every problem in the world could be fixed if we could kill the president.

[odd-g0ul]

Alright sorry for the inactivity, I've been taking a mini mental break after finishing the Apocalypse AU 👋

(Get ready for a massive yap sesh)

It looks like the first one is going to win, so I want to provide more information on this rewrite, and sort of a disclaimer.

The original was very half-assed, (I've owned up and apologized for it), and originally it was supposed to revolve around mostly Gregory's perspective, and some of Freddy's... but then it ended up being only Freddy's POV for some reason. So disregard the first one, it will still be up like the original NGUOY is, but the first book will be different because it is going to switch between Gregory and Freddy's POV and build on their broken relationship, as well as Gregory's whole family, (including Cassie and Daisy), so keep that in mind. It will also have more world building, but the fronnie origin story for this series will probably focus the most on the actual crime side of things, and less about the family. It will also all be released chapter by chapter, not all at the same time like NGUOY.

And a disclaimer: I do not like how I depicted it in the first story, it was not my intention, but I don't want this to be like any other Mafia AU. Because I personally have a lot of critiques about them. (Excuse me as I step on my soap box)

There's a reason there hasn't been any 'cool dramatic crime art' for the AU. That's because, even if it's just a fanfic, we can't forget that the Mafia was a very real, evil thing with real victims. It wasn't just about 'hot men in tuxedos shooting people'. A Mafia is usually a rich, powerful family that gains their power and wealth from being part of corrupt politics and exploiting, terrorizing, and hurting poor people, most prominently during The Great Depression in America, and the economic collapse that followed. Many of the people working for the Don Family, aside from the ones on top, were poor people forced to engage in the Mafia's crimes and risk their lives in exchange for protection, money, or their families being threatened. Children being born or people marrying in to the Don family were trapped and forced to continue the lifestyle in fear for their own lives.

The point I am trying to make is that this AU is not going to be glamorizing any of that, and it will be as close to historically accurate as possible in respect to the actual victims of this. Also to hopefully educate you guys more on this topic because most Mafia AUs are VERY inaccurate. (But don't worry, it's not going to be completely serious, it will still have plenty of humor and good times like all my stories)

The one-shot book will be out soon, and so will the Mafia AU! If you have any one-shot requests for any of the characters or any ships from any of my AUs, let me know whenever!

(Those who read through this whole rant, you're real ones ✊️)

Hey ya'll! So new stories coming out soon, as you know. The Wild West AU will have to wait a bit because I'm taking a break from big series. I have three stories planned before then, but one of them is just one-shots. I'm curious which one of these two you want to see first:

(Even though it's open for a week, I'm probably just gonna check results in like two days)