#rhett's phone bit was HILARIOUS

[jula483]

(x)

[memzhay]

The Elevator

Rhett and Link stepped into the elevator on the 8th floor of the Courtyard by Marriott Downtown in Portland, Oregon.  Portland was always a fun town to visit: cool vibe, easy nonstop flights, excellent coffee, that giant awesome used bookstore. They were meeting with a team from Laika Studios, the ones who did Coraline, to talk about a possible animated version of Bleak Creek. If everything went well, this could be a perfect fit for the story. They were trying not to get their hopes up, but were both fairly nervous and excited to see how it turned out.

They were alone in the elevator, Link reading aloud from his phone about the history of Laika and what the company was about, when the elevator suddenly stopped with a jolt and a loud grinding sound from the back wall. They grabbed onto the walls both letting out startled yells of curse words and general panic.

“What the ever-living crap?!” Link shouted. “You alright?” he said to Rhett, grabbing onto his arm like a life vest in the ocean.

Rhett’s eyes were wide with terror, his knuckles white as he grasped the handrail for dear life. He’s not alright, Link realized.

Well, Link thought, he can’t be the one to go to pieces all the time. Rhett should get a turn here and there. “Hey man,” he said gently. “It’s alright. It’s not moving anymore. Did you get hurt at all when it dropped a little there? Your knees? Your back?”

Rhett shook his head quickly. Eyes locked tight, face red.

“Breathe, man, just breathe!” Link commanded, taking his right hand in both of his. “Hey Rhett, look at me a sec. Boy, you’re tore up aren’t you? Come on Rhett, deep breaths.”

“Fuck.. Fucking.. FUCK!!” Rhett shouted, but he then sucked in a huge lungful of air and opened his eyes, locking them onto Link.

“There we go,” Link said with a smile he hoped was comforting. “Here. Let’s check out this lovely carpet down here. Let’s just sit you down.” He kept a hold of Rhett’s hand in one of his, putting the other on his shoulder and guiding him to the floor of the elevator. “I’m gonna talk to the front desk and see what the actual fuck, right? And you just breathe.”

Rhett nodded wordlessly from the floor. Link opened the panel above the floor buttons and grabbed the emergency phone. Rhett heard him talking to the front desk as he tried to get a hold on himself. He wasn’t claustrophobic or scared of elevators or anything. Why was his heart racing so bad? Why was Link relatively unscathed? Link once melted down when he dropped a pen off a damn balcony! Why couldn’t he get it together? In what seemed like a fraction of a second, or maybe 50 years, Link was on the floor next to him, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his knee.

“They think it was a damn bird or something,” Link said. “Stuck in the whosie-whatsit thing that the cables go in up there. They have somebody on the way. We’ll hear them up there soon.”

“We killed a bird?!” Rhett cried.

“We did no such thing!” Link insisted. “That bird made a very bad decision. We just happened to be here.”

“Who gets stuck in an elevator?” Rhett demanded. “That’s something that happens in movies, not in real life!”

“Hey, we get in a lot of elevators,” Link said. “You get in enough elevators, you get stuck eventually. It’s math.”

“Fuuuuuck!” Rhett groaned, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his head on his knees. “Laika!” he yelled.

“On it!” said Link, standing up and scrolling through the contacts in his phone. Rhett heard him talking, but he sounded far away. Get it together, McLaughlin! Next thing Rhett knew, Link was again seated on the floor next to him.

“They are apprised. Told us to be safe and let them know what happens. This will make a great ice-breaker for the pitch meeting, don’t you think?” Link said patting his back with a chuckle that sounded slightly forced. “Now,” he continued, “What to do to take your mind off things until our friends fix the problem?”

“When I’m in a stormy ocean,” Link began.

“Oh, you couldn’t possibly!” Rhett objected.

“I rub myself with calming lotion.”

“UGH!!” Rhett protested.

“And crawl inside a soft cocoon,” Link continued hypnotically.

“Stop man. For reals,” Rhett said with a strained laugh.

“Alright,” Link agreed. “But ‘The Puzzle’ doesn’t get talked about enough. That shit was dope!”

“When in your life have you ever said ‘That shit was dope’?” Rhett demanded.

“Just then,” Link admitted.

“You’re a freak,” Rhett said amused.

“I’m your best friend who you love so much,” Link corrected.

“Maniac!” Rhett laughed.

“The best friend a man could ever ask for! Hair all full of silver moonbeams and eyes like the Caribbean!” Link needled.

“BARF!” Rhett proclaimed.

“A friend like no other! Heart of an angel, whimsy of a jester, and the lithe body of a sleek jungle cat!” Link added striking his best sexy tiger pose.

“The nerve!” Rhett giggled. “The absolute, unmitigated gall!”

They leaned against the wall chortling until Rhett was breathing normally and seemed more grounded. “You got any more tricks in your Link Neal bag of foolishness?”

“Spread your legs,” Link instructed.

“I beg your pardon!” Rhett said in shock.

“It’s pretzel time, Rhett,” Link said nodding his head.

“Be serious!” Rhett demanded.

Link raised his face to the overhead lights. “Cuddle Queen Jean!” he intoned, “Be with us in this our hour of need! May we cuddle and cuddle well!” Link crawled into Rhett’s lap and scooched around. Rhett muttering under his breath about god damn elevators and birds and indignity, but obediently wrapping his arms and legs around Link who nuzzled into the base of his neck, sing-songing “Pretzel time, pretzel time,” and letting out a contented sigh.

“Unbelievable,” muttered Rhett. “It would be pretty hilarious if they find us like this when the doors open,” he admitted.

“I hope there are at least 3 people with cell phone cameras at the ready. The fans would love it. This is vintage us and I’m here for it,” Link stated matter of fact.

Link made a point of taking deep slow breaths in and out, continuing until he noticed Rhett was matching his breathing.

“Daddy like peanut butter,” Link said into his shoulder.

Rhett snorted derisively. Link pulled his head up, raising his eyebrows. Go with the bit, Rhett. Always go with the bit. No exceptions.

“Daddy don’t like elevators,” Rhett said miserably.

Link nodded and laid his head back on Rhett’s shoulder. That’s more like it.

“Daddy like puppy dogs,” Link continued.

“Daddy don’t like losing his shit,” Rhett said.

“Daddy like emotional honesty,” Link cooed.

“Daddy don’t like liver,” Rhett said with a smile.

“Daddy like his best friend,” Link said happily.

“Daddy does too,” Rhett said fondly.

“Hey, I win,” Link said peacefully. “You didn’t say ‘Daddy don’t like’.”

“Yep, you win,” Rhett sighed, giving him a good squeeze and leaning his face into Link’s hair. “You win.”

[clumsyclifford]

hi bella i'm here bc t-shirt by thomas rhett w jalex?????? totally not bc we're listening to the song and have the same brain???? never??? not at all??? ok ily bye

sam the fact that you will just indulge me like this...........i adore you. anyway here’s some thomas rhett jalex to soothe your soul thank you for asking me to write this after i told you i wanted to write it dlgkmdfklgmfj

ao3 link!

-

Jack has a table when Alex arrives. 

“Hey, hey, hot stuff,” he hears, and looks up to see Alex leaning over the patio fence.

“Wow, and only ten minutes late,” Jack says, making a show of checking the time on his phone. He gives Alex his most look-how-impressed-I-am face.

Alex laughs and reaches through the fence to poke at Jack’s shoulder. “I’ll be in in a sec,” he says, and then retreats to go around front. Jack figures he can wait a little longer. Alex will probably stop in the bathroom before he joins Jack at the table, anyway.

A few minutes pass, and then someone tugs gently at Jack’s ear, so Jack puts his phone away, this time for good, and turns a smile to Alex.

Alex looks good. He always looks good, would look good even in a paper bag, even in nothing at all (especially then), but there’s something about the all-black combination that makes Jack’s heart race. Clothes were invented, Jack decides, to be worn by Alex. All clothes.

Leather jackets in particular.

“Hi,” Alex says warmly (he’s trying not to say it warmly but Jack knows he can’t help it), before dipping his head to kiss Jack. “How was work?”

Jack smiles. He always smiles around Alex. He’s probably in love with Alex, but in a relationship this young it’s hard to say, and Jack falls so easily it’s actually ridiculous. The words taste sweet under his tongue, so he leaves them there for the moment. For whatever it’s worth, he imagines he’ll have many days on which to share them.

“Fine,” is what he says instead, as Alex sits down. “Some of this paperwork is going to be the death of me, but you don’t want to hear about that.”

“I do,” Alex insists.

Jack shakes his head. “I promise you, you do not. I was telling Zack about it on my lunch break and I’m pretty sure he fell asleep.”

Alex chuckles. “Well, Zack’s not your boyfriend.”

“That you know of.” Jack waggles his eyebrows. It makes Alex laugh, which is always the goal, and Jack laughs too, mostly to show that he’s joking, but also because Alex’s laugh makes Jack laugh. 

“Fair enough,” Alex concedes. “Well, lucky for you it’s Friday, so no more work.”

“It’s Friday for you too.”

“Yeah, but I have lesson plans to draw up, papers to grade, et cetera.”

Jack squints. “Do you…do you think I don’t have work to do over the weekend?”

“Gonna be honest, I still don’t fully understand your job,” Alex says good-naturedly. 

Jack grins. “That’s okay,” he says. “You look amazing tonight.”

It makes Alex look down at himself, only to look back up at Jack, and under the multicolored string lights of the patio (why are there still Christmas lights up in June?), Jack can see a blush rising. “Thanks,” he says. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Thank you,” Jack says. It’s just his work suit. Their date night restaurant is within walking distance of Jack’s office, for convenience reasons, and Jack is still in his suit for the same reason. “I thought I’d make a bit of an effort, you know. Once in a while.”

“Well, if you set the bar low, you can only ever really surpass expectations,” Alex points out. Jack claps triumphantly.

“Exactly!”

The waitress approaches then, asking for drinks orders and informing them of their deal on appetizers, two for the price of one. Jack orders a beer and Alex gets water, because he’s driving, and as the waitress leaves, they decide almost without conversing that they’ll be taking extreme advantage of the two-for-one deal. 

For the rest of dinner they make small talk, except it’s not really small talk, because Jack cares so much to hear about the inane things Alex’s students have done that day; he’s been dying for an update on the gossip about the history teacher and the math teacher, and gasps when Alex shares how a student actually asked Mr. Hood if Mr. Clifford was his boyfriend. (“I’ve literally never seen Calum speechless like that,” Alex says, smirking. “It was almost hilarious.”) It doesn’t feel like small talk to hear about Alex’s day and to talk about his own, because Alex’s eyes are trained on Jack with so much focus that Jack feels like he’s explaining something much more complex and profound than just the broken coffee machine in the break room at work. It would be small talk if they had nothing else to talk about, but they have, and just aren’t; for two hours, while they slowly work their way through their own food and each other’s (Jack shamelessly nicking mozzarella sticks off Alex’s plate), they just catch up.

Jack is probably a bit tipsy as they reach the end of the meal. After Alex pays — immune to Jack’s myriad efforts to stop him, including but not limited to stealing his wallet — they sit at a mostly cleared table, waiting for the check to come back, and Jack stares at Alex. He finds himself doing it more often lately, and he can’t put a finger on why, except that Alex is so goddamn pretty it’s impossible not to stare.

“What?” Alex says, bracing his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. He leans forward. “What are you lookin’ at?”

Jack folds his arms over the table in front of him and mirrors Alex. “You’ve got something on your face,” he says. Alex starts, frowns; Jack giggles. “I’m teasing. You don’t. You’re just so fucking good-looking. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

The blush from before returns with a vengeance. “Careful,” Alex says lightly. “Talk like that might get you into trouble.”

“Are you trouble?”

Alex doesn’t waver. “I might be.”

“That’s where I wanna be, then.” Jack grins. “You wanna come over after?”

“No way,” Alex says, but he’s lying, or joking. There’s a glimmer in his eye that might just be the ridiculous Christmas lights, but Jack has seen it before. “I’ve seen your place. You messy bastard.”

“Hey, I cleaned!” Jack protests. It’s stupid, but he had, and not just because he’d hoped to bring Alex back with him tonight. (Okay, mostly for that reason.)

Alex laughs and pulls Jack into a kiss across the table, and it settles in Jack’s sternum, warmth throughout his chest. He can tell Alex is holding back, and he likes it. 

“Fine,” Alex says, as they break. “Twist my arm. I’ll come over.”

“Yeah, you will,” Jack says, smirking, and just then the waitress returns with the check.

-

They don’t even make it to the landing.

Well, they do, but clumsily, with a lot of tripping and almost-falling. Jack’s not sure if he’s holding tight to Alex so they don’t have to stop kissing or because he’s legitimately afraid to fall over. He’s mostly sober, just tipsy enough that he’s laughing at things that aren’t that funny, like when they reach Jack’s door and Jack realizes he’s forgotten to get his keys out. 

“Shit,” he giggles, and instead of searching for them he just kisses Alex again. Alex is no help at all; he melts into it like every other one, arms securely around Jack’s waist. For a minute Jack forgets that this is supposed to be the beginning of the night, and not the end. Alex’s hands find their meandering way up the back of Jack’s shirt, and Jack makes a quiet noise at the cold of his fingertips against Jack’s skin. He pushes gently at Alex’s chest. “Okay,” he says, slightly sobered, “let me get the door open, you impatient fucker.”

Alex just gives him a cheeky smile and leans in for one more kiss. It’s really fucking hard to turn Alex down, and for a second Jack wonders if he should even bother. Then he feels Alex’s hand dip into his back pocket, and when Alex pulls away this time he’s holding Jack’s keys.

“Too slow,” he says, mouth curling into an enticing smirk. 

Jack shakes his head. “Your fault,” he says as Alex unlocks the door, admitting them both to the apartment. The keys clatter as they land on the dining room table; Jack’s going to forget they’re there later, and Alex will inevitably remember. Both of them kick off their shoes somewhere in the general direction of the front door, and by that time Jack’s grown impatient himself. When Alex looks first at Jack and then past him to the bedroom, a question in his eyes that’s also an answer, Jack wastes no time.

It’s messy, but it’s always messy; Jack loves that about Alex, that he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty, to play rough and leave Jack satisfied but wanting more. Anyway, Jack feels they’ve earned the right to be a little messy. Alex is a middle school teacher, and Jack’s working an office job, for fuck’s sake; if Alex wants to be the reason for wrinkles in Jack’s shirt, Jack’s in favor of that.

After, Alex cuddles himself into Jack’s chest, face pressed into Jack’s neck, trying to absorb Jack’s warmth. Jack doesn’t have control over the air conditioning in his building, and as a result it’s always either slightly too cold or hot. In summer months it’s the former, and Alex isn’t wearing a shirt, which is probably lending to the chill. Jack could suggest that Alex get dressed, but he likes Alex like this, clingy and cuddly, leeching heat out of Jack’s skin. Alex runs cold, unfortunately for him, but Jack runs warm. 

(It’s just another way they’re perfect for each other. Jack keeps running into them, the things that make Alex and Jack complementary, like how Jack doesn’t like pickles and Alex does, or how they don’t share any of the same favorite breakfast cereals so they’d never eat the other’s, or the fact that somehow, having held hands with many people in his life, Jack’s never felt his fingers fit as well as they do between Alex’s. Maybe he’s just romantic, but fuck if he doesn’t feel like he and Alex belong together.)

“You could put a shirt on,” Jack murmurs, pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead, after Alex shivers and curls tighter against Jack.

“Boring,” comes Alex’s muffled voice. It sends a buzz through Jack’s skin. “Zero points for creativity.”

Jack laughs. “Come on, Al, you’re freezing. Take one of mine.” Alex makes a noise of protest. Jack gently pats his back. “Alex, you’re a big boy. Don’t be stubborn.”

“Your mom’s a big boy,” Alex says, but he rolls away and, with a great dramatic sigh, crosses to Jack’s dresser to rifle through his t-shirt drawer. “Any suggestions?”

“I suggest you put a shirt on.”

Alex shoots him a look. “Duh.” He pulls out one of Jack’s Orioles t-shirts and grins. “Oh, this is it for sure.”

Alex pulls the shirt over his head, and when he resurfaces his hair is hopelessly messed up. Jack can’t help but smile at it, at the whole picture. It’s too much for him, Alex in his Orioles t-shirt and boxers with the fucking American flag on them, which is his idea of a joke (and had, of course, made Jack laugh). 

“What?” Alex asks. He does a spin as if showing off the new look, and Jack snorts and shakes his head. “Stop staring at me, you creep.” He takes a running jump towards the bed, landing with a screech beside Jack and crawling over him. Their legs tangle together, and Jack gazes up at Alex, overwhelmed, hoping he never stops feeling overwhelmed by Alex.

“You just look super hot, that’s all,” Jack says gratuitously. His pulse racing, he tugs Alex down into a kiss. Alex goes willingly, and Jack closes his eyes, drowning in everything Alex; the image of Alex twirling around in Jack’s shirt, the cold of Alex’s skin where Jack’s fingertips graze his hips, Alex humming quietly in the back of his throat as he deepens the kiss, Alex’s hand in Jack’s hair, Alex’s cologne permeating the whole room, Alex’s mouth on his, and all of Jack’s senses Alex Alex Alex until nothing else matters, just him and Alex and the universe on pause.

(He almost says it, really, almost ends the kiss with I love you, you know?, but he stops himself. That’s the kind of thing people do when they don’t have the time to wait, and Jack has time. They have all the time in the world.)

[harper44]

Both of my favorites are mores: 1) the one where Link couldn’t stop laughing after he said Grape Jam with weird accent and 2) When Stevie quizzed their moms and how Link’s mom said how much she loved him oh and also the Mad Gab one where itsmikeapufty originates!

I don’t remember which more that first one is from? I adore the mad gabs one, it’s hilarious. I wrote about the one with their moms which is so so so sweet. It took a bit on an angsty turn, but here you go:

Link quickly heads back to their office after finishing the more, smile still etched into his face. He sinks into the couch and rubs his eyes, a few more tears slipping free. That more couldn't have hit at a more perfect time. He’s been missing home and his mama lately and that was just what he needed to get him through. He’ll call her later and tell her they filmed it today. He’ll tell her he thought her favorite color is gold and they’ll reminisce about the ice cream bars and he’ll tell her how her grandbabies are doing. She’ll tell him again that she’s proud, this time not through his employee and prerecorded. And maybe Link will cry again. 

“I’m glad we did that,” Rhett says as he enters the office, stopping when he sees his best friend wiping one last tear from his face. 

“Yeah, me too,” he says. Link nods in response to Rhett’s look asking if he’s okay. “We’re real lucky, man,” Link says, pushing his glasses up. 

“We are,” Rhett says, taking a seat next to him. 

Their shoes touch each other where they’re resting on the floor like they usually do. Link looks down at their one point of contact and he thinks about a night a long time ago when he ran to his mama’s arms. Maybe he was fourteen. He’d been with Rhett all day and he can’t remember now what had made him realize it. He was confused and hurting. Rhett was going with some girl, maybe, and Link told his mama that he was in love with his best friend. She soothed his teenage heartache and helped him lock it up in a box in his mind where things that aren’t allowed in the bible belt of the south belong. 

She’ll ask him about Rhett when he calls her later and he’ll tell her he’s well and they’re doing great and Mythical has never been better. She’ll let silence hang over the phone line until Link has the courage to tell her that they are still okay. Even though he wishes the luck had stretched a little farther, he’s lucky to have his mama.

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

So I’ve sent this as a prompt to someone before, but I’d like your take on it! The boys meeting on tindr 😏

I already told this to Lora but I have to share with the rest of the class, too. I talked about this exact thing with Mick like a day or two ago. So apparently, Lora and me share a brainwave. :D I ain’t mad. I hope you don’t mind that I changed it a bit. It’s not Tindr. That wouldn’t have been as fun as this. 

—

Link’s phone lit up on his nightstand and cast a bluish glow on the ceiling of his bedroom. He’d just turned the lights off and tucked in but he couldn’t resist checking the notification.

You have (1) new match(es)

Link perked up. He’d downloaded the new dating app Incognito earlier that evening. He hadn’t tried dating through an app before. Not something you wanted to do when you worked in a semi-public profession as an internetainer.

But he’d heard some of the crew talking about Incognito and gotten intrigued. There were no pictures, no real names unless you decided to share them with someone you’d matched with. This was his first match. He’d been picky and he knew it. Everyone’s answers to their bio questions had just felt either boring or felt like they were trying too hard. Link had chosen to like only three men’s profiles and, apparently, one of them had liked him back.

Link wasn’t exactly looking for a relationship in this thing, so he wouldn’t have needed to be so picky. He didn’t have time for one. Right now, work took too much of his time and his brain power. There was also the fact that he wasn’t exactly out of the proverbial closet yet. He’d only recently come to terms with it himself. Bisexual. That was what he was going with right now. He knew the label didn’t mean that much. It might still change but even getting to accept that had been a struggle.

Not even Rhett knew yet. Link wanted to tell him, of course he did, but something was stopping him. That was probably the biggest reason he wasn’t ready for a relationship with a guy. Keeping something like that from Rhett just sounded both exhausting and too wrong.

But he did want to dabble a bit. He’d never been with a guy, so even texting – let alone sexting – with one seemed kind of thrilling. So, he’d chosen the “looking for a hook-up” option when he made his profile.

A message bubble popped on his screen.

PaddleBoardMe: Hey! You still up?

Link’s stomach did a little somersault. This was the profile he had desperately wanted to like him back. Everything this guy had said had either moved Link or made him laugh out loud. Also, his screen name was hilarious. Link wished he’d gone more cutesy and sexy with his own.

BlueEyes78: Hi! Yeah, was just about to go to sleep.

PaddleBoardMe: Oh! So, you’re in bed then. Sounds good. ;)

Link couldn’t help but blush. It was stupid but, suddenly, he felt like a teenager again. How the heck did one flirt with a guy? Link knew the answer was just like you did with a woman but he still felt unsure.

BlueEyes78: Yep, it’s pretty lonely here.

Link sent the message and immediately felt stupid. That was such an obvious answer. He was a writer, goddamn it. He could do better, right?

PaddleBoardMe: Want me to keep you company? 

BlueEyes78: That sounds nice. What do you want to talk about?

Link sighed. That wasn’t any better. Maybe he needed to just forget about this whole thing.

PaddleBoardMe: Early morning tomorrow. Been a real stressful week.

Link eyed the message for a while. Was he trying to talk about it or was this a hint? Link gnawed on his lip and made a decision. Mr. PaddleBoard had chosen the hook-up option as well so Link hoped he wasn’t too far off with his reply.

BlueEyes78: Wanna let out some steam?

PaddleBoardMe: Yes, please. ;) Wanna tell me what you’re wearing?

Link sighed with relief. He wasn’t even sure why he was so worried about upsetting this guy. He didn’t even know him yet. But his profile had really caught Link’s eye and maybe even a tiny bit of his heart. Not that he would confess that to anyone, let alone himself.

BlueEyes78: Just some black boxer briefs. In bed, remember?

PaddleBoardMe: Mmh, sounds perfect. Wanna get hard in them for me?

Link swallowed and shifted on the bed. His boxers were filling up surprisingly quickly. He let his palm rest on his semi and squeezed lightly. His eyes drifted closed for a moment and he hummed from the pleasure.

BlueEyes78: Kinda already am.

PaddleBoardMe: Oh, you’re a needy little thing. Or maybe not that little?

BlueEyes78: I’ve been called big. I wouldn’t really know.

Link froze. Why the hell did he send that? It took a while for Mr. PaddleBoard to answer.

PaddleBoardMe: What do you mean?

BlueEyes78: Nothing. Just forget about it.  

PaddleBoardMe: Kinda sounds like you might be inexperienced.

Link sighed and cursed. He felt like an idiot. He stared at the screen for a bit and then a little smirk crept on his face. Maybe this could still be salvaged.

BlueEyes78: Would that turn you on?

PaddleBoardMe: Hell yeah, baby.

Link cheered silently. He could work with this. It was the truth anyway.

BlueEyes78: I’ve never done this before. Not online, not in real life.

PaddleBoardMe: A virgin! Lovely. I’d be honored to pop your online cherry.

BlueEyes78: You sure? I don’t really know what I’m doing…

PaddleBoardMe: That’s actually kinda hot. Like I’ll be the first guy to ever get you off. Thinking about that is making me all kinds of hard.

Link drew a deep breath. He was really gonna do this. And the guy seemed actually pretty sweet. He wiggled on the bed, leaning against the pillows to better position himself. His left hand drifted back on his cock.

BlueEyes78: You gonna touch yourself and think of me?

PaddleBoardMe: I definitely am. Tell me a bit about yourself, just so I can get a better visual. Are your eyes really blue?

BlueEyes78: Yep. Bright blue. I’m tall, fit enough (for my age lol), dark brown hair with some gray in it but I promise it’s very sexy.

PaddleBoardMe: Oh, fuck me, that’s exactly my type.

BlueEyes78: Yeah? Would you like that then? Me fucking you?

PaddleBoardMe: I’d love that. Thinking about that right now. I’m on all fours and you’re behind me. I can feel your cock press against my hole. Fuck, you’re so big. Not sure I can take it. But I really want to be good for you. Since it’s your first time.

Link read the message twice and, all of a sudden, he was breathing heavy and he was painfully hard. How did this guy do it? How did he, with just a few words, make Link feel like he was actually there? Link slipped his fingers under his waistband and tugged it down enough to release his cock. His hand immediately wrapped around it and started slowly stroking. He moaned out loud.  

BlueEyes78: That sounds amazing. I’m so hard right now. I wanna be inside of you.

PaddleBoardMe: I’m begging you to do it. I want you so bad my thighs are trembling. I’m arching my back, backing up against you. Please. Fuck me.

Link’s hand was a blur on his cock. He wanted so badly to be with this man; he didn’t care what he looked like. He was swept away by his words.

BlueEyes78: Okay, yeah, I’m inching in you now. Fuck, you’re so tight.

PaddleBoardMe: Oh, yeah. You feel so good, filling me up like that. Baby, fuck me hard. Make me feel that big cock. Make me yours.

BlueEyes78: You have no idea how hot this is for me. I’m so close already.

PaddleBoardMe: You’re so sexy. I want you to cum for me. Think about rawing into me while you do it. I’d let you do that. Just take me bareback. Wanna feel all of you.

BlueEyes78: Holy fuck. I want that. Wanna press my fingers into your hips when I pound into you. Wanna make you whimper with my cock. Want to make you plead for more.

PaddleBoardMe: You can leave bruises. I don’t care. Just need you fucking me into a wreck. I’m pleading. Cum into me. Fill me up.

Link groaned and changed his hand position. His head fell back thumping on the headboard and his wrist went on overdrive as he chased his orgasm with low whines and whimpers. His thigh muscles spasmed before his cock did. He came hard, an impressive amount of cum painting his torso all the way to his chest.

BlueEyes78: Fuck.

PaddleBoardMe: Did you u cum for me, baby?

BlueEyes78: Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever cum this hard in my entire life.

Link was still slowly pumping his cock, enjoying the last shivers of pleasure. He felt exhausted.

PaddleBoardMe: I’m so happy to hear that.

BlueEyes78: Did you get there?

PaddleBoardMe: Oh, yeah. You took me so good. I came all over myself. Wanna see?

BlueEyes78: Okay.

Link’s stomach clenched deliciously. He hadn’t thought he was gonna get a picture tonight. It took a moment for it to load. When it did, Link devoured it hungrily with his eyes. It was of a man’s stomach and crotch. He was still holding onto his dick. He was still strikingly hard; the picture had to be taken right after he’d reached his orgasm. His stomach had an impressive spattering of cum on it. But that was not what made Link’s heart miss a beat. What got to him was the fact that he recognized that stomach. He’d seen it many times before. Time stopped.

PaddleBoardMe: Hey, where’d you go?

Link was staring at the photo, jaw hanging slack, hand still wrapped around his cock.

PaddleBoardMe: Everything okay?

It was Rhett’s stomach.

[secret-keeper18]

TNTL #22 Moments

I didn’t realize how tall Rhett and Link are until they were standing next to Ian

Another episode of Courtney and her brothers I live for this

“Hello Courtney. Do you know who I am? I am your biggest *whips open fan* stalker.”

The return of everyone’s favorite bit, let’s be real here, what wasn’t hilarious about this part??? “Oh boy there’s a shirt now.” “6-6-6” “hOlA pIzZa HuT-!” Shayne clumsily placing the phone back on the stool and stumbling around it to show off his shirt with Courtney looking unimpressed behind him and fake hitting him. Peak sibling vibes

“I was really tryna figure that one out” “me too man”

Damien and Shayne’s impression of Rhett and Link being so spot on that Link doesn’t even realize how subtle some of the things he says is. Also they literally even look like slightly younger versions of Rhett and Link

Shayne not realizing there was a fish hanging off of Rhett’s crotch and his eyes just slowly drifting down from his face to the fish and just. Immediately losing his shit.

Everything Damien says during his bit for Shayne was in English but I still can’t understand any of it. The monologue though “AH! OH! I can still hear the bullets coming by at night-“

Shayne finally got to say “I’m Shayne Topp from So Random and you’re watching Disney Channel” but the absolute FLIP to “Alright everybody be cool” and holding the wand against Damien’s throat honestly gave me WHIPLASH. Also the way Damien just immediately straightens and goes wide eyed clearly he felt the same way. “Uh Shake it Up is next.” Fucking comedy gold here.

The absolute SPIT TAKE Ian does when he sees Shayne come out shirtless and with that dumb expression

“That’s a little Rhett and Link joke for ya right there”

*gesturing to apple* “what the fuck is this” and Link physically shaking and moving so much trying to stop himself from laughing

“This was like a rite of passage. I feel like I’m one of the team now.” Like these two helped Smosh out of the sinkhole and they felt like they were the ones out of place like look at these humble boys we stan.

Courtney shaking the bell loudly and obnoxiously and the rest of the boys wincing but not wanting to tell her to stop having fun reblog if you agree

[rileyrooin]

R&L Live: Detroit

This jumps around and I discussed the show a bit more than in other recaps because there are moments from it that I want to remember. I recognize that I am incredibly fortunate to be able to attend shows and afford VIP tickets. If you aren't interested in reading, or if you want to send me nasty messages about this, I encourage you to just scroll on by instead. As always, please do not repost my pictures without permission.

I attended this show with Mr. Rooin, and two of my friends, R (my BFF) and B. R and B (heh) are both GMM fans. It would be the first time either of them has seen the guys live.

The Show

Britton opened the show. The crowd in Detroit loved him and he really fed off its energy. During the merch song, he started giggling mid-song because we were all laughing about the lyrics; his giggles made the crowd laugh more and he had to stop playing for a minute to compose himself. It was very cute. I cannot wait for him to put out an album. There are several of his songs that have been stuck in my head since the show.

After a brief intermission, Rhett and Link came out on stage. I expected to have a good view since our seats were in the front row, but I guess I didn’t really think about just how close they would both be to me (but especially Rhett). But, suddenly, there he was right in front of me.

As they settled in to begin the show, Rhett scanned the crowd, taking it all in. His eyes briefly met mine when he did so, but he continued to scan and then, unexpectedly, his attention came back to my face. My poor heart just about leaped out of my chest when he shot a small smile at me. I thought I must be imagining it, but once he broke eye contact, R elbowed me and whispered, “Did Rhett just recognize you?” I shrugged and tried to concentrate on their opening banter about the meaning of the name Detroit.

I'm going to share some highlights because no one needs a play-by-play of every moment of the concert:

Tokyo came early that night. Of course, even after Rhett told the crowd that he would do it one time only, there were people who thought they would be cute and continue to shout it and other garbled nonsense (including someone pretending to be CCR). This led to sassy, sarcastic Link making fun of people shouting stuff. Rhett got a bit grumpy at one point and gave the crowd a stern dad expression. I didn't capture either of these moments on camera, but they were hilariously in character.

The setlist was basically the same as the Columbus show, but with fewer songs. We didn't get “Water Dispensing Tab” or any of the other songs they've been subbing in for it in other shows. I feel like something else was removed, but I'm not sure what. I love all of their new songs. I wish they'd release them so people who can't attend the shows could hear them, as well.

At the venue, on either side of the stage, stand two huge knights set into niches in the wall. One of the running themes of that night's banter was Rhett wanting the knights to come to life. He had an elaborate ritual he wanted the room to perform to bring the knights to life that included hissing like a cat, other strange noises, and some voguing. When that didn't work, they moved on, but came back to the topic several times throughout the show. My favorite one was before “Middle School Girlfriend.” Rhett suggested that perhaps if Link played all three of his recorders at once, the knights would come to life. Much like the escaping a simulation handholding from Ear Biscuits, Link was game to give it a try. So, Rhett offered to hold his third recorder for him. The moment was funny, but I was focused on the extreme softness in Rhett’s eyes as he helped Link. The photos don’t begin to do it justice.

After the recorders failed to bring the knights to life, Link tried to steer the conversation back to “Middle School Girlfriend” banter by saying, “This is not unlike what my first kiss looked like.” Rhett was seemingly disinterested in returning to his stool/mic, so he leaned forward to speak into Link’s. Link pushed him away and said, “Get… Get your face outta my mic!”

Throughout the entire show, I kept having to tell myself to stop staring at him. My attempts at having some level of chill were continuously destroyed by Mr. I'm Going to Make Eye Contact Unexpectedly throughout the concert. It sounds foolish, but even though I was in a venue with so many other people, there were moments where watching him play the piano and guitar from that close felt incredibly intimate. But, maybe that's just my crush talking.

The rap section of the show was highly entertaining yet again. Their enthusiasm and excitement during it is so much fun to watch.

During “It's My Belly Button,” he was so close: that cute belly on display right in front of me as he dad danced his heart out.

During one chorus, when he got to the “something I want to show to you" line, he pointed at me. R grabbed my arm and hissed, “Dude, he fucking loves you.” (n.b. This all sounds like wishful thinking from a ridiculous fangirl, but I swear it's true. I harbor no delusions that there was some secret message in his actions. I know it meant nothing; he was simply playing up the moment for a reaction. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the attention, though.)

Meet and Greet

After the show, we were quickly ushered into a long line that wrapped down the side and around the back of the theater. I used the opportunity to run to the bathroom to freshen up the best I could. My group and I hung out in the line while I proceeded to try to calm my anxiety about talking to them again. One of the things that helped me with this was the soothing sound of Rhett's laughter echoing in the large space. Another thing that helped was watching how amazing they are with all of the fans they meet. From kneeling down to meet children to really focusing their attention on each person they chatted with, it's clear that every interaction is important to them. I know I've said it before, but we love some seriously great guys, y'all.

Prior to the show, I’d talked to Mr. Rooin about how I really wanted to have a nice picture of me hugging Rhett. Ever the patient and understanding one, he offered to hang back while R and I talked to the guys so he could attempt to get that picture on his phone (since Gary would have mine). (Spoiler: he got the picture and it might be my current phone lock screen.)

The line moved quickly (the meet and greet time goes by so fast), so it wasn’t long until it was our turn. R went ahead of me and introduced herself to Link, shaking his hand as she did so. As R moved on to shake Rhett's hand, Link's attention shifted to me over her shoulder. I smiled at him, once again blown away by how blue and intense his eyes are in person. I opened my mouth to introduce myself, but before I could, he welcomed me into a hug and said, “Good to see you again.” He patted my back like the last time, but held the hug for a couple seconds. “How've you been?”

“Good. Better now, though,” I answered as we broke apart. He grinned at me and I felt my heart melt a little bit. And then I turned to my left and into the open arms of the bearded one. He patted my back twice and I squeezed him tightly. He held the hug for a moment, holding me against him, and I probably clung onto the hug for a few seconds longer than I should have. I couldn’t help it; his hugs feel so damn good.

As I stepped back, I realized Link was talking to me again. “It's been awhile.”

“Well, only since April.” In my mind, I was thinking: Why am I getting sassy with Link?

Rhett said something in reply that made my whole face flush and caused my brain to shut down. I looked to Link for rescue. He simply laughed at my reaction, so I laughed with him while my mind was chanting wtf wtf wtf.

Then, Rhett said, “Okay, step up here for the picture. Where do you two want to be?” R, who is the extrovert between us, had fallen totally speechless in their presence. She's a Link girl, so even though logistically she should have been on Rhett's side based on where she was standing when he asked the question, I slid between them so she would be next to Link. (And, yes, so I could be next to Rhett.) As I put my arm around Rhett's waist, I glanced up at him and he was smirking away. I'm sure my crush is terribly obvious to him, but… meh, what are you gonna do? Gary took the picture while I tried to take in the moment and how it felt to have his body pressed so close to mine with his hand on my shoulder. After that R did a solo picture with the guys. She finally found her voice to ask for hugs before she left and they obliged.

I did an individual photo with them and then, my meet and greet time was nearly done. I handed Rhett the letter I'd written them and stammered out an explanation about how I hoped they would read it later. He smiled kindly and then passed it back to me to give to Jenna. I hung around watching while B and Mr. Rooin met them. Finally, we got our posters/bags from Jenna, Lily, and Lincoln. I talked to Britton for a minute before we made our way out and took a picture with him this time. I almost made it out of the theater before I teared up. Almost.

I feel very fortunate and grateful that their shows have been in locations close to me. Years ago, when I discovered these two and became a fan, I never expected that I would have the opportunity to meet them once, let alone three times. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be someone they would recognize on sight. I heard them say similar things to other fans who they'd met before. It's comforting to know that even though there are millions of fans out there, they see us.

[les342]

Rhett and Link in Columbus

I saw Rhett and Link in Columbus last night and the show was so much fun! Unfortunately my memory for detail isn’t that great and I was sitting too far back for my cell phone pics to be any good, but that’s okay. I’m just really glad I got to be there.

As most of you probably know Link’s cousin Britton Buchanan, who was on The Voice, was the opening act. I don’t watch that show so I didn’t know what to expect as far as his music, I really liked it. There was only time for a few songs, but I liked what I heard and definitely want to listen to more. And in between songs, Britton talked a bit and at one point told the story of how he and Link got stuck on their tour bus. After the show in St. Louis Friday, they traveled over night to get to Columbus, sleeping on the bus. When they got there everyone got off the bus, but didn’t bother to wake up up Britton or Link. When they woke up at 11:30 everyone else was gone and they were stuck on the bus. They couldn’t get the door to open! Apparently, there was a button at the front of the bus that Link spent ten minutes pressing because he thought it would open the door, even though it didn’t. Eventually the bus driver was called and he let them out. This was really funny, not only because of the situation, but also because it just seems like such a Link sort of thing to happen, doesn’t it? 🤣

And of course, Rhett and Link were awesome, as usual. I was excited to hear the new songs. I don’t remember them all, but there was one about getting a sunburn and my favorite was the one that Rhett said they wrote after overhearing a conversation at the dog park...between a man and his dog. This was especially funny because after an “argument”, Link had to be the dog. He pretended to be a dog, barking included. It was hilarious! And of the old songs I was very excited to hear Epic Rap Battle of Manliness, Epic Rap Battle Nerd vs. Geek, and It’s My Bellybutton. It was a great though. As much as I loved seeing the Tour of Mythicality, I think I liked this even more. I love their music. Maybe this means they’ll more new music, and hopefully new music videos too.

[loulougoingsolo]

Does it end with a hole-in-one?

Valentine's day blues hit me hard last night, which is why I never got to writing my thoughts on yesterday's GMM episode (Jade & Barbara are such sweethearts), but even wild horsicorns on a wedding cake couldn't keep me away from commenting today's romantic episode.

As usual, I know very little about H3H3 channel. I've read about their legal battles, and I've seen a video or two of theirs, but that's really pretty much it. I probably should watch more of their content, but I've been in a weird mood lately, and it's best I stick to light comedy. Emphasis on Light. Obviously, I need to listen to their podcast tomorrow, and because of that, I'm installing the Twitch app on my phone as we speak.

I love it how Jordan is summoned when ever they need someone to make unadulturated inappropriate comments on GMM. Androgynous Andy (Jamie?) was a great improvement on the previous mannequins kissed on the show. The talking and moving head made everything just a little bit more awkward. The kissing sound effects were hilarious!

I don't know how they managed to spin the bottle so that it hit each of them in turns (unless the wheel was indeed rigged), but Rhett definately got the worst kisses today. Link really went for it with the toothpaste mouth, he was the only one of the four who actually kissed instead of just eating the gross stuff. Can someone with better knowledge of the bible tell me, what Andy was referring to when they said first Corinthians while Ethan was kissing the black edibles?

I can't with the windbakers 😂😂😂. They look like some weird wind worshipping cult. I felt really sorry for Fresh/Ethan when Windy spilled all that anchovy juice on his face. Sven's story about his mother dying was a little morbid, but the lasagna looked very promising before flying away. If only their oven was not just a backdrop!

I think it's a bad mistake to propose to someone in public, unless it's been agreed upon beforehand. I really don't see the romance in being proposed to in a game show, it just puts the person you are proposing to in an impossible situation. I feel you're asking for trouble when you take that route. The pet store proposal was pretty cute though!

I wonder if all people watching this episode realize that Rhett and Jessie have a huge size difference between them, and that was probably what he was really joking about. But thank you for not making the deflowering joke.

The horsicorn cake was really beautiful, the cake topper was so cool! But don't they know by now not to give Link anything potentially dangerous?

I'm a huge consumer of rom coms, I just was told by my therapist to watch some last week, but I haven't really followed her instructions yet. I'm trying to figure out what my favourite rom com is, but I've seen so many it would be hard to name just one. I like Easy A a lot, because of Emma Stone, and Kissing Jessica Stein kind of rocked my world, and everything with Sandra Bullock is always funny...I prefer the genuine romantic comedies, but if there is too drama involved, it kind of ruins it for me.

I haven't seen Hitch or the Princess Bride, but all the others mentioned on GMMore I've watched, even the No reservations one (not my favourite though). Link's question about Hitch ending in hole-in-one sounded SO inappropriate, but he was thinking about the wrong movie, which explains it. But Jen's shocked reaction "What just happened?" was hilarious!

How can Chase like Dermot Mulroney? He's so cringy, I've always felt he was the worst casting choice for that role. The only part about My best friend's wedding that I liked was Rupert Everett singing at the wedding reception.

Ok, since my life is currently nothing like a romantic comedy, I think I'll go bake myself a batch of cookies and watch at least one romantic comedy to get through this day. Being single on Valentine's day is not exactly a dream come true.

[hautemistakes-blog]

“Everything I did was to protect YOU.” - Spencer

            “I know — I know, you keep saying that, and I know you meant well and I really appreciate it but — Leon doesn’t think it’s a good idea anymore.” Lily had been trying to keep eye contact, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She felt HORRIBLE that it had even come to this, and she felt even WORSE that it had happened so soon into the new year but if she didn’t do it now — another six months would pass and who knew how much longer she’d be around at this rate? Her hair had gotten longer and things had progressed really quickly into what at one point had felt like her life — to a horrible movie that made her feel sick every time she opened her eyes. The guilt alone was enough to push the tears to well in her eyes, threatening to spill over the brims and ruin her mascara. Things had taken such a steep decline since last year and she needed to wash her hands of it — get out of the darkness that seemingly wouldn’t leave her.

           “And it’s not just Leon — it’s Rhett too, and Spencer — you’re amazing don’t think you’re no—” There’s a rough grip on her shoulders, finger tips prodding deeply into her flesh like hooks. Cold washes over her, stomach INSTANTLY twisting into knots. “Ow—” Lily winces, expression screwing together as her words turn to pleas, “Ple—please let go of me, that hurts.” Spencer wasn’t trying to hurt her, but people could sometimes not realize their own strength. Lily’s fingers move to his grip, wrapping around him to try and ease his hand off her shoulder, but when her eyes connect with his, fear creeps back into her throat. “Spencer—” She should have just listened to Leon — every time she didn’t, something terrible happened. They were going to do this tomorrow — together, but he showed up and Lily couldn’t wait. She couldn’t take it.

           And now she was panicked. “I just think — maybe we should just — take a break for a few weeks just to see if that helps.” Now her story was changing. First it was ‘We can’t hang out anymore’ and now — now it was giving him hope, but she was TERRIFIED and what else was she supposed to do? “I’m just going through a really rough time and—” The tears were spilling and Lily had pulled away from his grasp by snapping away, but where his fingers had been was THROBBING painfully. Lily moved, the back of her hand coming up to wipe at her cheeks as she ducked away from him to give herself some space. Her phone was in her back pocket and if she was just able to text Leon — he could be over here if he wasn’t busy and maybe it would be better. “I have to focus on me for a bit.” Which was hilarious and perhaps the most un-Lily thing to do, but something had to change and Leon had given her a million things to say. That was one of them.

           She heads for her room, hand slipping into the back of her jeans just needing a few more seconds — but it’s not her that’s stopping suddenly. Spencer’s hand tugging her around, grabbing where he had been holding moments ago. It causes Lily to wince, a gasp falling from her lips as legitimate FEAR pumps through her. “Spencer, please.” Lily pleads, unable to stop the tears from falling. She doesn’t even see it happen but he’s grabbing the phone, yelling something in her face — but all she can focus on is the anger in his eyes and how hot his breath is on her face. It’s suffocating and she’s certain she won’t have to worry about it for much longer.

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

Incognito - part 4

If you missed them, you can read the first three parts here.

---

Link’s house was dark and quiet. He sat on the couch. He’d turned the TV off a while ago. Trying to do anything felt useless; he couldn’t concentrate. So, he just sat in the darkness and ached.

Rhett’s expression haunted him. He’d never seen him so small or so hurt. But at least with that, Link’s panicked thoughts about their friendship being a sham were effectively proven wrong. Rhett obviously loved him. But did he love him? And if he did, how could they go on from that?

Rhett had called him, multiple times. Link wanted to talk to him. He needed the sounding board that Rhett usually was for him. But he couldn’t pick up. How could he talk this through with him without hurting his feelings even more?

Link’s phone lit up again. He picked it up expecting it to be either a text or a call from Rhett, but it was a notification from Incognito. Link sighed and tapped on it. He’d gotten a third match and match number two had sent him an unsolicited dick pic. Link cocked an eyebrow at the photo. It wasn’t a very good one, and neither was the subject of the photo. He blocked the user. There was also a message from Mr. Paddleboard – Rhett.

PaddleBoardMe: Talk to me.

Link groaned and was about to click away from the app when another message popped up.

PaddleBoardMe: Talk to me like I’m not me. Like I’m a stranger. I know you. You are overthinking this thing right now and talking it out would help. You obviously can’t talk to Rhett right now. Talk to me.

Link stared into the darkness of his living room for a while. His first reaction was to scoff and tell Rhett he was being ridiculous. But when he thought about it more, he realized Rhett was right. This might work. It was worth a try at least. Anything was worth a try at this point.

BlueEyes78: So, guess what happened today?

PaddleBoardMe: What?

BlueEyes78: I found out that my best friend has been lying to me.

PaddleBoardMe: I’m sorry to hear that. Are you sure he’s been lying?

BlueEyes78: Well, it’s not like I’ve ever outright asked him if he likes men. Never occurred to me he might. But I do feel like not telling me is a lie.

PaddleBoardMe: Fair point. Did you tell him?

BlueEyes78: Did I tell him what?

PaddleBoardMe: Did you tell him you like men?

Link frowned at the screen. Of course, Rhett knew he hadn’t told him. So, he had to be calling Link out. He was saying that Link shouldn’t be so mad, because he’d done exactly the same thing. But it wasn’t the same. Right?

BlueEyes78: I would’ve told him. Soon.

PaddleBoardMe: Really?

Link stopped to stare at the screen. He wanted to write ‘yes, definitely’, but if he was totally honest with himself that was probably a lie.

BlueEyes78: Yeah, okay. I’m not sure I would’ve told him.

PaddleBoardMe: Why? 

Link’s fingers hovered above his screen. Why wouldn’t have he told Rhett? He’d never really properly examined his apprehension. He just knew something was stopping him.

BlueEyes78: I guess I was scared.

PaddleBoardMe: What were you scared of?

BlueEyes78: His reaction? Something changing between us.

PaddleBoardMe: Do you mean you were scared that he might abandon you because of it?

Link’s stomach dropped. Just reading those words chilled him to his core. That was not the reason. His mind couldn’t even conjure up a scenario where Rhett would have ended their friendship because of a confession like that.

BlueEyes78: No. It’s hard for me to believe he’d do that to me.

PaddleBoardMe: Good. I would have been offended if you did.

BlueEyes78: Rhett

PaddleBoardMe: Sorry. Okay, so what do you mean then?

Link sighed. He didn’t know.

PaddleBoardMe: Okay, if that’s too hard of a question to answer now, can you at least tell me how long you’ve known?

BlueEyes78: That you’re Rhett?

PaddleBoardMe: No. That you’re attracted to men.

BlueEyes78: Not long. Well. I’ve kind of known for a while but I just… It was hard to accept.

PaddleBoardMe: I can relate.

Link couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. Why hadn’t they just told each other? None of this app business wouldn’t have ever happened and things would be fine between them.

BlueEyes78: Yeah, I guess. Have you known for long?

PaddleBoardMe: A few years.

BlueEyes78: Years?!

Link let the phone drop on the couch and got up. He’d thought that maybe this was fairly new for Rhett too. Maybe few months, six at the most. But years?! He’d been lying to Link for years. Sneaking around with guys behind Link’s back. Getting fucked by strangers when… No! Link shook his head and refused to finish the thought. He was definitely not jealous. He was definitely not thinking Rhett should have never been fucked by anyone else except him.

PaddleBoardMe: I’m sorry. Just being honest.

Link stared at the message. A short laugh forced its way out.

BlueEyes78: Did you just seriously quote our song to me?

PaddleBoardMe: Oh! I didn’t mean to!

PaddleBoardMe: But that’s actually kind of hilarious.

Link smiled. He could imagine Rhett sitting on his bed, head whipped back, laughing that booming laugh of his that always made Link’s insides tingle. Link suddenly felt warm and soft.

BlueEyes78: Hey, Rhett?

PaddleBoardMe: I’m not Rhett.

BlueEyes78: No, just be Rhett, okay? Why didn’t you tell me?

There was a long pause. Link wondered if Rhett had just closed the app. Maybe he’d decided not to answer. Or maybe he was on his way here? The thought made Link’s heartbeat quicken. What if Rhett came here? What he just walked in and they continued the act that he was someone else…? Link swallowed and with considerable self-restraint didn’t continue on that path of thinking. His phone lit up.

PaddleBoardMe: Because I love you.

Link frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

BlueEyes78: That makes no sense. You didn’t tell me because you love me? Aren’t these kinds of things usually shared with loved ones? 

PaddleBoardMe: No, Link. Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t tell you because I’m IN love with you.

There it was—confirmation. Link’s breath caught. With trembling fingers, he wrote.

BlueEyes78: I need a minute.

Link closed the app. He put away the phone and took off his glasses. His palms pressed into his eyes hard enough to make him see stars. Rhett was in love with him. Link’s heart was racing. A smile crept on his face. Rhett is in love with me.

His hands dropped and he hugged himself tightly. It felt like he had to hold on to himself; like he was disintegrating. It felt like he was being broken to pieces and put back together again – everything all at once. He felt dizzy and exhilarated.

“Rhett’s in love with me,” he whispered, smiling like a madman.

Wasn’t this exactly the thing he’d been afraid of? If it was, why was he suddenly so insanely happy?

Because you’re in love with him too, you idiot.

Am I?

He was. Suddenly, it was as clear as day. He was in love with Rhett. He was in love with his laughter. He was in love with his humor. He was in love with the tenderness he treated everyone around him. He was in love with those long limbs that Rhett so gently kept in check, trying hard not to let his large presence scare anyone. He was in love with his kind eyes and his soft beard and that mole that hid beneath it. He was in love with the way Rhett looked at him as he spoke, like Link was the only other person that existed. He was in love with his best friend. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t be in love with Rhett. That was the worst possible option. His mood sank as quickly as it had lifted. Loving Rhett like that was not an option. That kind of love would end eventually and when it did, he’d lose Rhett. Link sighed. He knew what he had to do, but it pained him to know. He put on his glasses and picked up his phone. He had to put an end to this. He had to save their friendship.

BlueEyes78: I’m sorry.

PaddleBoardMe: What are you sorry about?

BlueEyes78: We can’t be together like that.

PaddleBoardMe: I know. Don’t worry. It’s okay.

BlueEyes78: I get that it hurts. I don’t want to do this, but it just isn’t an option.

PaddleBoardMe: I get it. Don’t worry about me. I’ve been living with this for years. I’m gonna be fine.

Link’s eyes filled with tears. Rhett didn’t get it. Rhett thought it was because Link didn’t feel the same way about him. But that would be better. It would be easier for him to move on if Link never told him.

BlueEyes78: Are we gonna be okay?

PaddleBoardMe: Always.

BlueEyes78: And I’m sorry about the whole sexting thing.

PaddleBoardMe: You know what? I’m not. I mean I’m sorry it’s obviously making you uncomfortable. But I kinda like the idea I got to be with you once. Even though I didn’t know it was you.

BlueEyes78: Well, consider it my gift to you. You’re not getting anything for Christmas now.

PaddleBoardMe: Me making you cum is definitely the best Christmas present you’ve ever given me.

BlueEyes78: Rhett

PaddleBoardMe: Sorry. That was a bad joke. I know it’s a bit fucked up. But this whole situation is a bit fucked up.

BlueEyes78: I’m so sorry.

PaddleBoardMe: Stop apologizing. I promise on Monday everything is gonna go back to normal.

BlueEyes78: Promise?

PaddleBoardMe: I promise. You won’t even know anything weird happened. I love you. As a brother.

Link almost threw his phone into a wall. The words cut him like a knife. This is what you wanted. Deal with it. Do it for him. Do it for the years and years you get to spend together now.

BlueEyes78: I love you too. As a brother.

It was like the words were written in his heart’s blood. Link gasped for air. He had to do it. He had to just learn to bear this pain. That was the only way he could keep Rhett forever.

PaddleBoardMe: See you on Monday. Have a nice weekend.

BlueEyes78: You too.

Link closed the app and tilted down on the couch. The phone slipped from his fingers and dropped on the rug. He tugged his knees against his chest and fought to keep the pieces of him from falling.   

[loulougoingsolo]

The light at the end of the tunnel

I was doggysitting today, and forgot my phone charger at home, so I was unable to comment today’s GMM earlier. I also had to think about how I felt about some things before writing this post. One of the things that I needed to process was the fact that Link has new glasses which are significantly different from the previous glasses. For a split second I thought, wait, what is this?! but then I saw a pretty smile, a pair of beautiful eyes and the beautiful thing that is Link Neal, and to be honest, glasses or no glasses - or different glasses - I love him just as he is. The glasses are different, but they are not in any way worse than the previous ones.

/// Here begins a somewhat too serious commentary about the first segment. Feel free to skip. ///

The other thing (the one that needed a lot more processing) was that, frankly, I am very much against death penalty, and even though the last meal segment was about notorious serial killers and their choices of things to eat as their last meal - I had trouble getting over the fact that after eating their apple pies and fried chicken, someone decided that it was ok to kill them. I know that is something that people have very strong opinions about, but personally I believe that no one has the right to make a decision on behalf of another person whether they should live or not.

I’m not going to say I didn’t enjoy this segment or that I didn’t find the jokes they made funny, because I did. I am somewhat fascinated by morbid things, and I’ve read stories about serial killers and been entertained by them. The fascination about these horrifying things is a very primal thing many people have in common - but deep down, I would have preferred a game about the last meals of people who just died for whatever reason - rather than a game about just people who have been executed.

/// End of the too serious commentary. ////

I haven’t really watched any of the videos in Binging with Babish channel, because I rarely watch other than baking and dessert tutorials or something very specific like a thousand sushi tutorials - but I went to see the channel trailer just now, and it made me hungry. I am a bit of a food enthusiast and I may need to watch some more videos of his.

The second segment was hilarious. I am a huge fan of the Simpsons, and anything involving close hand-torso-hand synchronized activities and colourful crayons is guaranteed to be a success. I only wish I could hear the original audio to this. Also, who put the kitchen utensils on Link’s side of the table? (I just spent way too long trying to find out what movie that question about the name of the reddish coloured crayon was from. I am positive it’s from somewhere and I will probably lose my sleep trying to find that quote...Oh, and I think the word they were looking for was magenta.)

I have no words to express how much I loved seeing Rhett in those pink high heels. I already knew either of the guys can walk more skillfully in heels, but darn he looked good in those. Link’s reverse heel shoes proved that high heels really do give you a better posture, and flipping them up removes any posture you ever had. 

I’m not a huge fan of the deep V-neck on men, but I could grow to love the flipped up version, if it comes with a belly like Rhett’s. I prefer a slightly softer version of a belly over a sixpack any day, and I think Link was pretty into it, too.

The only thing worse than bellbottom jeans are too short bellbottom jeans. No, wait, the belltop jeans are just horrifying. And the mullet just adds to the horror. Since Sia is my absolute favourite singer, I see nothing wrong in Rhett looking a bit like her (he should have kept the pink heels for that though), but that is more emo than Sia-esque in my opinion. I can’t believe Link just invited Rhett inside his pants. What even is this?!

It was so cute how Link wanted to eat Rhett’s last meal. He wanted all that chocolate pudding and was so sorry he didn’t come up with it. An interesting interpretation about the tunnel of light from Link. Since I’m on an investigating mood today, I tried to find a reason other than being ready for the tunnel, for him choosing a pomegranate for his last meal, and being the heathen I am, the only symbolic meaning I could find that made any sense to me was that it is believed to be the original forbidden fruit. Is it too much of an interpretation to assume Link wants to taste the forbidden fruit on his last meal? Along with the things he loves the most - peanut butter, a bigshack and a log of cookie dough? This was a weird More, but I loved it so much.

It was killing me to see that Link had three spoons through the entire More and Rhett was forced to sit next to that huge bucket of beans unable to eat any...

[loulougoingsolo]

Perfect Mythical Things

I was a little critical yesterday with the new GMM, but when it comes to today’s episode, I have only praise to give. The episode was everything I could ever ask for in a Mythical setting, and I almost wish I could erase most of the not-so-positive things I said yesterday. @rhettandlink, today was perfect in every mythical way.

The first segment was “What am I stepping on?” and the first very pleasant thing I noticed was that instead of the black curtain they’ve had before to separate each other, Rhett and Link now had a wall which allowed them to see each other’s faces. No peeking necessary, and as it soon proved out, physical contact was possible - it is very important to be able to grab a friend when you’re in pain. The first of many stranger things on this episode was the adorable dog licking Link’s feet, and some evil mind among the crew decided that instead of a cute furry animal, Rhett was given a huge spider. A bit unfair, but very entertaining.

I still have a couple of episodes of Stranger Things S2 to watch, so I was grateful for the no spoilers interview with Dacre Montgomery and Joe Keery. I love how most of the interview was just the four guys complementing each others’ hair - they are pretty amazing, so it’s understandable. I wonder if Rhett was intimitated by Joe’s fluffy locks - it must be a rare thing for Rhett to see someone who’s hair is even more glorious than his. Then again, Rhett does have the beard, so he wins.

The slang word segment was hilarious. I love the involvement of fans through twitter questions, and the words acted out were so funny. I don’t know if I can ever erase the image of Alex dancing in that see-through shirt. I can easily imagine someone talking to Ellie on the phone and ending up saying I love you - I say the wrong things on the phone all the time so I found this very relatable. And the missed kiss bit was just killing me with laughter, even if the end of the story was a bit tragic. I hope these words get added to the urban dictionary - it’s my go-to-place on a regular basis when I think there is an inappropriate phrase used on GMM - in most cases, my suspicions prove to be true.

The helium rant was amazing. I don’t know if it’s healthy to inhale helium, but since laughter increases your lifespan, I would say this was very healthy to watch. I particulartly enjoyed Link’s belly button rant which turned into a confession of his love for the perfect belly button of a guy called Billy. For the record, though, Rhett, cats’ butt holes are cute. Not weird, but cute. Ok, dogs have pretty butts, too. I don’t know where I’m going with this...

There are no words to express how much I loved the More today. I mean, Rhett giving Link a foot massage? I don’t care if it’s with cheese spray - as long as hands and feet are touching, I’m pleased. I also think it’s great that Link shaves his toe hair and whatever he pleases, for his own enjoyment - smooth skin is nice, and hairless legs look better in tights. I made a weird cackling noise when Rhett responded to Link saying he doesn’t like his feet massaged with “You wanna do me, then?”. There was a genuine look of dissapointment on Rhett’s face.

Ok, so, I loved everything about this package of internetainment. This was perfect, on so many levels. This episode had many strange things on it, but also all the necessary mythical things.

[loulougoingsolo]

ASMR gone wrong? :D

I’m a bit disappointed that I chose to watch today’s GMM on tv instead of my phone with headphones. Not that I didn’t enjoy seeing Rhett and Link on a bigger screen (I always enjoy that), it’s just that the sounds would probably been much more intense through headphones.

This episode was, for the most part, an ASMR video from your worst nightmares. Loud eating noises are a pet peeve of mine - I know nothing worse than all the munching, slurping and smacking that a loud eater can create. But when it’s done for entertainment by Rhett and Link, it’s a whole different matter.

I think these games where Rhett and Link co-operate instead of competing against each other are always very delightful. Somehow, their long friendship shines through even more clearly than usual, and there’s no need to root for either of them, when they have a common goal, so I can just sit back, relax and enjoy observing their dynamics.

Seeing Rhett eat beans is always a joy. I tried explaining my dad why I was laughing so hard when Link didn’t guess the beans right away, but I guess it’s one of those things a not-so-mythical beast may find hard to understand. Or the fact that Rhett was certain about Link eating cereal on the first round. Have I told you that I love watching these two eat?

Link was being extra playful today, and apparently he is also clear-voyant, at least, when it comes to recognizing the crew members blindfolded. I guess it was possible to hear some kind of muffling with Saagar’s beard, but I didn’t hear anything different. The look on Lizzie’s face when he said her name was priceless. He should have stuck with that instead of guessing Chase. Then again, Rhett was just as good at figuring out that it was Kevin on the last round.

I don’t know if it’s just me, or does anyone else think the guys looked extra pretty today? They just appear to get cuter with time. Anyway, since they were so cute and fluffy, I had to add a more visual component to my post. Also, because this was (hands down or up) the most hilarious little moment in today’s episode.

[loulougoingsolo]

Nothing that a little GMM and love can’t cure :)

So, my day didn’t start on a high note. I was feeling very frustrated with myself and life in general. i was stressed, upset and annoyed by all the bad stuff that’s going on in my life. There was a sun in the sky, but I just couldn’t see it because of all the clouds.

I had my therapy session today, and it helped a bit. Kind words from the sweetest of people (<3) also helped. And what finally brought the sun back was today’s GMM. I forced my dad to watch it with me, and we ended up laughing together, which was pretty amazing.

I don’t think Rhett and Link need to worry too much about being replaced by virtual vloggers. They have their own beautiful, unique personalities, and there is no way that the connection they have with us every day could be achieved by a computer software.

I seriously loved how goofy the guys were today. Rhett was such a cutie when he said he felt moved by the anime girl, and then they both were making fun of Barbie and Ken. And bringing back the Tokyo thing was also fun (my dad didn’t quite get why I was laughing there).

The motion detecting camera thing at the end was hilarious. Of course, Link chose to be a pretty blond girl with blue eyes, and Rhett chose something involving food. I think Link wasn’t too excited by the Hell part, whereas Rhett enjoyed Link’s virtual performance (it must have been the glasses that got the girl’s eyes all wonky).

I always enjoy watching Rhett and Link play games, and today’s game was almost as enjoyable as the one where they were goats. I couldn’t stop laughing at their chicken impersonations. I loved it, Rhett especially seemed to have a hidden talent of screaming like a chicken - Link was more like a turkey, but I loved it just the same.

So, my day seems to be ending in a much better place than it started. The reason I’m posting this so late is that I ended up watching a film with my favourite actress (Tilda Swinton) in it. The film was a bit weird (a Bigger Splash), but she was as amazing as always. Dakota Johnson looked lovely, and Ralph Fiennes was much more entertaining than in the English patient. A few minutes ago the sun was shining from a clear blue sky, literally and in my mind. It’s dusk now, but there are still some lovely shades of pink and peach in the horizon. I tried to capture the sunset but our window hasn’t been cleaned in ages and my phone managed to lose all the beautiful colors, but here it is, anyway. I love each and everyone of you <3

[loulougoingsolo]

Well that is a big spider

You know that feeling when all your dreams come true at once? I had that happen to me just a minute ago while watching GMM, and especially GMMore. And now I will list all those amazing dream-come-true moments: 1) Now, in my mind, I call Rhett a golden man quite often. He has that amazingly golden hair and beard, and today he had that golden hoodie. I know Link was making some snarky comments about it, but if Rhett looks good in a golden hoodie, he should wear one, because Rhett is made of solid gold. 2) Staying on the subject of clothing, I love it when Link wears a t-shirt. Cardigans are also nice, but not when they cover his beautiful t-shirted body. I made a wish he'd remove the cardigan, and omg, he did! And with that hot swift move that I love. 3) I think seeing Rhett and Link dance is one of my all-time favourite things. I love Link especially, because he is so amazingly good at dancing. The GMMore today was so good I almost died. I most certainly laughed more than I have in a long time. I didn't know such game existed, but that was just amazing. There was so much going on, like gosh, it takes my breath away just to think about it. That dip at the end was so cute. And the fact that Link turned his phone off was hilarious - all that work for nothing! Oh gosh I need to watch that again! 4) They always manage to entertain me when they talk about celebrities, and today was the ultimate celeb episode. I can imagine they pissed some people off by talking about these conspiracy theories, it was a bit of a risky move, but I loved this. In a way I see it as them laughing at themselves, too, because Rhett likes to theorize about stuff like this, and I love it how they keep bringing up their love for Beyonce. I can imagine this episode will bring us some theories of our own: were they saying something else when mocking G.W.B. and Britney, the clip where Britney said we should just trust our president was an interesting choice in the current political situation, especially since they don't usually talk politics. That Taylor Swift clone theory was also something to talk about more. I'm on the fence about the Katy Perry theory. I know that those things happened a really long time ago, but there was a child involved, and for that reason, this thought popped into my mind, "Too soon, maybe?". I also googled that spider, obviously. I didn't know they get that big, but lucky for me, I don't suffer from arachnophobia at all. Compared to the previous things we were told not to google, this was a lot less traumatizing. Ok, I think I got most of the biggest highlights of today's episode listed. Now I need to go watch that dance one more time :).