#rhat was just a 'I would like you to know that your actions kind of hurt me' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years ago

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ahhh 25 and 12 or 6 with calum hood please!!

I AM SO SO SO SORRH RHAT THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAD A SUPER LONG HIATUS FOR PERSONAL REASONS AND I HOPE YOURE STILL INTERESTED AND NOT MAD AT MEEE 🥺LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL LOVIEEE

Help me - C. Hood

6: “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

12: “N-no, it’s alright, come here.”

25: “Please talk to me about it.”

GIF is not mine

TW: DEPICTIONS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE/ ABUSE BY A PARENT. MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND WOUNDS, GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF FAMILIAL VIOLENCE, SELF-LOATHING THEMES AND PHYSICAL INJURY.

If this content can potentially trigger you, please do not read. Your mental and physical health is important, so please, take care of yourself. My inbox is always open.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Please do not copy, reproduce or repost without credit or in a manner than removes my username, and/or ownership from the work. Stealing isn’t cool, peeps.

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Not much was known about Y/N. In the entire school, she was the enigma. She had her friends, she was average in her classes, but still, her personal life was kept out of the general knowledge of the student body. Even the teachers knew little about the girl.

Her parents would come to every interview, every ceremony. She would go on trips, she would join in on the fun. She even attended the two week camp they held last semester, and it was the happiest that anybody had seen her.

Calum often watched the girl. He could see how her smile would drop when nobody was looking, how she would constantly flinch whenever anybody would raise a hand or wave an arm around her. He observed her more often than not, as stalkerish as that made him sound.

He was friends with the girl. They shared English and Math and some of the same friends. He enjoyed speaking to her, he loved to see her smile - genuinely smile.

He couldn’t deny the growing feelings he had for her. She was intelligent and kind, her smile could knock the breath out of him, and had done so many times. He seemed to lose all train of thought around her and the feeling was addictive. He had no idea if she felt the same, but he felt his own emotions grow tenfold every time she placed her hand on his arm, or offered her assistance when he was unsure about something, or simply when she laughed at a horrible joke that slipped from his lips.

She was angelic and he couldn’t put his finger on why such a beautiful person could look so skittish at a sudden movement.

He had his suspicions but he knew better than to pry.

However, his mind couldn’t be set at ease when they were placed into a group together. Their due date for their English project was impending, and as his mother was working from home, he chose not to offer his residence for the pair to gather.

“So, your house?” He was waiting by her car at the end of the day, unnoticed by Y/N as she rushed to her vehicle in the same manner she always did. She hadn’t expected him to be there, so when his voice travelled to her ears she couldn’t help but flinch and shy away. He frowned softly at her, “you okay?”

She blinked, tilting her head to look at him. “Excuse me?” Her keys were clasped tightly in her hands and her gaze kept flicking between her door and Calum.

He chose not to focus on the tension she held in her body. “The project?” He reminded her. “It’s due in two weeks and if we keep showing up with nothing done, Stone will be on our asses until we graduate.” He snorted, the sound bringing a small smile to Y/N’s face.

“I, um, I don’t think my house is a good idea,” her voice was soft - fragile. “Wouldn’t it be easier to do it during study? I can’t be out too late.”

“All of my study’s are designated to soccer practice, sorry,” he pursed his lips, pushing off of her car. “I would offer my place but I think my mum would genuinely murder me. She’s working from home and my sister is in the process of taking over all available space in the house with her loser friends.”

Y/N seemed to think over it for a minute. She knew that it would be a bad idea to have Cal come over, but she had no choice. She sighed, nails working carefully to pick at the skin around her cuticles - a bad habit she had adopted.

“Alright,” she nodded. “Hop in, just, there are rules you need to follow, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, pulling the drivers side door open for her when the lock mechanism clicked open.

Her heart pounded in her chest the whole way home. The mere sight of the two story residence made her feel queasy on a regular day, but the upbeat boy sitting beside her made the thought of being at home much worse. She put the car in park, turning to Calum.

Her eyes rarely met his, he noticed.

“Um, you can’t be here after 5. My parents get home around then and they don’t really like visitors.” She pulled her keys from the ignition, clamping her eyes shut for a brief moment. Sure, Calum was her friend - he was a great guy, and Y/N genuinely enjoyed his presence - but she couldn’t shake the feeling that having him at her house would end horribly. “No shoes inside, we need to stay in the dining room and please, if you use the bathroom, put the toilet seat down.”

She didn’t invite people over for a reason, but she dropped the desire to have friends over when her home began to break more. Y/N could barely remember a time when she fell asleep to anything but the sound of expletives, breaking glass or pure aggression.

Instead of questioning the barrage of instruction as she would expect, Calum simply fixed her with a warm smile, “Your wish is my command.”

She had long wished for her parents to go their separate ways strictly to save her from the fear that enveloped her the minute she stepped foot inside, however, she knew it fruitful because she couldn’t go anywhere but with one of them, and even when apart, they were harmful.

Calum followed her rigid form into the house, kicking his shoes off and placing them on the designated racking as instructed. The house was in pristine condition. It was as if there were no life in the environment unless a human was present - it felt cold.

The house was so different from his own. His mother had made sure to hang photos of both him and his sister, pictures from family outings, vacations. His father bought his mother flowers regularly and they always sat on the kitchen counter. His sister even had her own little belongings in the family areas as did he. Y/N’s house had nothing. There was not even a picture of her with her parents. The house was near void of any sort of familial comfort that it made him feel uncomfortable.

He followed her into the dining room, waiting for instruction. The atmosphere put him incredibly on edge and he could feel that there were many rules to be followed to perfection in the house.

Y/N pulled her bag open, placing her books on the table before stashing the bag into a designated nook in the entry way. The table caught his eye. Only two chairs. Both her parents lived with her, but there were only two chairs.

She returned, taking a seat at the small round table. Her eyes darted nervously to a clock mounted on the wall before softening and focusing on Calum’s standing form.

“Take a seat?” She offered. “We have just over an hour and a half until my parents get home.”

He nodded, slumping down in the seat and retrieving his own items for their project.

The time flew by quickly, it seemed. Calum’s presence was warm and he shone like a beacon in the barren home. She could barely take her eyes off of him for fear that he too would burn out like all who have entered before him.

If she could, she would have captured the moment in its entirety, preserving it for the lypophrenic moments that visit her almost nightly.

She was in the process of laughing at a joke that slipped from Calum’s lips when her eyes absentmindedly crossed over to the wall clock.

It was 3 minutes past 5.

Calum needed to leave. Fast.

She was on her feet, face paleing and her hands working to slam the books in front of her closed. She needed Calum gone and she needed to be in her room before either of them got home.

Calum raised an eyebrow at her, following her movements with caution. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“You need to go,” she was breathless despite the meager activity. It wasn’t the actions that made her breath escape, it was fear. She knew what would happen if either of her parents arrived home. She knew what would happen if they saw she was in the dining room, or if she had company. Nevermind if that company was a male.

“Oh, sorry,” he smiled softly, helping her clean. “The time sorta slipped away from us. It’s only a few past 5, I’m sure your parents will understand-“

He was cut off as she shoved his books against his chest, “they can’t know that you were ever here.” She felt horrible for rushing him out; almost as horrible as she felt for her lack of hospitality, but she needed him to go. She couldn’t bear the consequences.

She handed him his shoes, opening the front door and pushing him out. His expression was full of confusion and for an instance she thought she saw hurt flash in his whiskey coloured eyes but her state of anxiety was growing and she couldn’t bring herself to react.

“Sorry about going overtime. I’ll see you-“ the door slammed in his face, footsteps hurrying away from the wooden barrier almost exactly after, “- tomorrow?” He finished dejectedly, slipping his shoes on and starting down the path to his house.

He lived in close proximity to Y/N, but the walk did little to quell the hurt in his chest.

Y/N rushed around as soon as the door was closed. She needed to clean everything up in the dining room before one of them got home, but her efforts were fruitless.

A few minutes after she rudely shoved Calum away, she heard an engine die in the front yard. The door opened carefully and closed very soon after. The sound of heels on the floorboards alerted her to the fact that her mother was home. She was in perfect view, still trying to clean away any evidence that she inhabited the dining room.

“What the hell have you done to my house?” Her mother hissed, the sound of keys being thrown onto the hall table bouncing off of the walls, setting the hairs on the back of Y/N’s neck on edge.

Y/N felt her shoulders flinch, acting on their own accord. “I’m sorry, mum. I just felt like studying down here today-“

Her mother was next to her within seconds, cold eyes scanning over every item in the room. “This is a pig sty!” She growled, despite the only objects out of the ordinary being y/N’s textbook, a single pen and a bottle of water. “I go to work, busting my ass to pay for things you need and this is the thanks I get?”

The laughter that fell from the older woman gave Y/N goosebumps. Both of her parents were vindictive and nasty, but her mother was the worse of the two. Quick with her hands, nastier with her words. She has once thrown a plate at Y/N because she dared to ask to add salt to her dinner.

Her father, on the other hand, was a drunk who would prefer to scream insults at his daughter and wife for anything. Despite this, y/n had less fear of the patriarch.

Y/N stayed quiet, too frightened to say anything or to even move to finish cleaning. Her mother didn’t like that and wound her hand in Y/N’s hair, gazing down at her with malice as she yanked her head back violently.

“You ungrateful little brat!” She growled. “You were the worst thing to happen to me, yet I still feed you, and clothe you and keep you here while you sick the life from me like the parasite you are, and this is how you repay me?”

Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she struggled against her mother’s hand, “Mum, mum please,” she pleaded. “You’re hurting me.”

“You hurt me every day that you’re still here, it’s the least I can do to repay the favour.”

Y/N grabbed her mother’s hand, attempting to pry it away from her hair, but in the process, her nail scratched her mother’s hand.

Y/N didn’t realise until she was knocked to the ground after a force connected with her cheek. Her head connected with the floor boards, blood quickly spilling from her brow and her lip and cheek throbbing.

“Don’t you ever touch me again, you little bitch!” Her mother screamed in her face, cradling her barely wounded hand like she would a baby.

Y/N struggled on the floor, slowly trying to climb to her feet despite the ache spreading through the left side of her face. She shuffled back, hoping to get closer to the hall so she could get up to her room. Her mother had other plans.

The sound of the cupboard door opening was evident and Y/N barely pushed her disheveled hair from her eyes to see a glass hurtling towards her, connecting with the wall next to her.

The sound was near ear-piercing, a few glasses catching her arms and shredding the skin in various places. Crash after crash - she finally ran out of glasses, starting to move to the next cupboard.

Y/N took the opportunity to get to her feet and run. Her feet carried her to the door, and she was thankful that she always kept we car keys on her person for fear of moments like this.

Her mother called out expletives behind her, but she didn’t bother to turn, instead allowing her body to act on its own volition, climbing into her car and pulling out of the drive as fast as she could.

Her vision was blurring, tears staining the clarity of her sight. Her hands were shaking so ferociously that she could feel the muscles in her shoulders twitching. Her mind was anywhere but the road, but it felt like she moved between destinations so fast, barely paying mind to the road in front of her until she pulled up at a park in the next suburb.

Her fingers worked on the screen of her phone, acting of their own volition until a voice was sounding through the speaker into Y/N’s ear.

“Y/N?” The voice asked, confused, anxious even.

“I’m at the park, on Macquarie Street. I need help.”

To anybody outside, Y/N would have been a terrifying sight. Blood pouring down her face, starting at her brow, a bruise forming quickly on her left cheek, a slight swell misshaping her lip and cuts all over her arm with their own trails of blood.

For Calum, his heart near stopped when he saw her sat on a park bench with her knees pulled to her chest. The sight was a beat more than terrifying. There were no more tears in her eyes, but her cheeks were wet with recent drops. She was staring out into the green landscape as if she no longer inhabited her body. The sun was starting to set behind her.

It took all of his willpower not to rush towards her, simply so he didn’t spook her. She was as rigid as a scared animal, any sudden sounds causing her to flinch.

“Y/N?” He tried softly, stepping cautiously. Her bleary eyes shifted towards him slowly, looking down at his feet before settling into his eyes. Her face shifted into a small smile as she locked onto the warm brown. “What happened?”

With his words, the semblance of a smile dropped. She frowned deeply, a dimple forming softly on her chin before a sob ripped through her chest. Her breathing heaved her body, rocking aggressively as she poured the emotion onto her knees once again. He walked to her faster, resting a hand on her knee and the other on her head.

“Y/N?” She shook his hands off, flinching away from his touch. “Y/N, baby? What happened? Please talk to me about it.”

She gasped, knees unfurling from her near iron grip. She knew the feeling well, it being her third panic attack since she left her home - not her home - the place she used to live. She couldn’t go back there.

Calum knew the signs. He had helped Michael through many attacks before and he acted beyond thought as he sunk to his knees before her, kneeling between her opened legs. His fingers moved to the side of her face gently, as to not cause her any more fear.

The tears had halted again, but she could barely catch her breath. He pulled her head down into his chest, thankful that with his added height against the small park bench, it was not so much of an awkward angle for the frightened girl.

It took all of 2 minutes for her breathing to balance. It was a trick he learned long ago - sometimes physical contact could help Michael with his attacks, and it had proven to be helpful to Y/N.

The silence that followed was pregnant as she rested her head against him. Her fingers had clasped so tightly in his hoodie that he could barely move until she loosened her grip. Slowly, she began to peel her body away from him.

“I- I’m sorry. There’s blood everywhere. I’ll let you go,” she sniffed, her voice airy as she tried to relax her muscles.

“N-no, Y/N,” he stood slowly, choosing to sit next to her instead of on the ground in front of her. “It’s alright, come here. Only if you want to.” He held his arm out, allowing her to make her decision. Slowly, and cautiously, she moved towards him, seeking the comfort of his soft hoodie and his warmth. She let out a shaky breath as she settled in to him. He shushed her softly, moving his arm to loop around her back slowly. “It’s alright, you’re safe, darling. I won’t let you go.”

She mumbled a soft “thank you,” wrapping her arms around his waist delicately. Her forehead nestled into his collarbone, allowing the lower portion of her face to be angled so she could resume her breath maintenance.

“Who did this to you, daring?” His voice was soft, his eyes anywhere but the girl below him. The mere sight of her eliciting a burning rage within his chest. Y/N was so pure, so happy. So kind. The thought that anybody would dare to hurt her - to him, it was blasphemy. “What happened after I left?”

“It was my mum,” her words were incredibly faint, yet Calum’s attentive ears heard every syllable. He tightened his arm around her slightly. “It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last.”

He moved his hands to her shoulders, pulling her off of his chest so that he could survey her face. His fingers were calloused from the strings of his bass, but he made sure to keep his touch featherlight as he ran his finger along her wounded cheek.

It was no, that he finally realized the small scars decorating her eyebrow, her jawline, and even her neck.

“She hurts you?” The thought was unbearable, how could a mother hurt their child in such a way. Y/N was in bad shape, and to know that it was somebody who should love and protect her that did so - he was shaking from fury. “What about your father? Does he-“

“Dads always too drunk to care. He spends his time sucking down beers and verbally abusing us rather than paying attention to the constant crap I get from my mum,” her scoff was full of malice. On the outside, Y/F/N had it all but in reality, her world was a steaming dumpster fire and she spent her time yearning for love. “My parents never wanted me and they have made it obvious. This,” she gestured to her face with a sliced up arm, wincing slightly at the shift of her flesh. “Is because I had stuff in the dining room. Mother prefers I keep my life confined to my bedroom where she can pretend I don’t exist.”

Guilt washed over Calum’s face, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have pushed to go to your house.”

“It’s fine, Cal. There was bound to be an issue tonight anyways, it’s just our routine,” she sent him a small smile, eyes full of apology and sadness. “Thank you, for coming to my rescue.”

He let his thumb run across her cheekbone, relishing in the feeling of her skin underneath his palm. “Whenever you call, I’ll be there for you Y/N.” There was nothing in his actions to suggest anything but sincerity, specifically in the way his eyes lingered on hers for a second longer than normal. “You can’t go back there, darling.”

Her head hung slightly. She had nowhere to go but there. Of all of her friends, not one of them would take her in and her closest family was out of state. She had no options.

“That’s the only place I have,” she smiled at him, a miserable smile, but a reassuring one. “I’ll be okay.”

“Come to my house,” he offered, eyebrows raising slightly, a pleading pout on his lips.

“Cal, I can’t impose-“

“You’re never imposing, Y/N.” His brows furrowed. “I’ll always keep you safe, I promise.”

A sigh left her chest, her breathing smoothing and functioning correctly on its own accord, before she nodded. Fighting against Calum was a losing battle, but she wasn’t entirely against the idea. There was something drawing her in to him. Something that she couldn’t identify. Whether it be the damsel-in-distress complex that she had adopted that night, or the butterflies that erupted in her belly when he held her close, she wanted to go with him. She wanted to be safe in his arms.

So she nodded, smiling small up at him, her fingers reaching up to hold his own that were still resting on her scarred face.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, a delicate gesture full of comfort and with an inkling of the love that she so desired. “I’ll always protect you, darling.”

Tag list: @starshonerose @mantlereid @killerqueenishere @snookiebrookie @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3 @another-lonely-heart

#calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #5sos #michael clifford #5 seconds of summer #calum hood x reader #requested #caz writes stuff #I’m #so #sorry #this #took #long #thank you so much for the patience #I’m sorry I’m so shit

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red-r00ts · 6 years ago

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I think it‘s really important to be objective occassionally when it comes to love and emotions. Especially in reference to someone you have a weak spot for. I think I‘m really guilty of reading into words or actions and taking them as meaning more than they are, when in fact they carry cery little weight at all. I have to be honest with myself more instead of falling into the trap of believing things will change, because if they were going to they would. Hope is probably one of the most dangerous things in the fucking world. I have been saying this for a long time. But something I need to work on is taking someone at face value. I need to recognize that the shear fact that they are with someone else actively lets me know that where my role ends is as a friend or less than. I think I have a very hard time understanding my boundaries and my role, especially because I am so fueled and easily manipulated by Hope. And I think it is especially hard because I am attempting to be friends with someone that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I understand that plans change, and she is the absolute most important person to me in this entire Universe, and losing her would be something I couldn‘t find words for. But I think we settled into each other way too well because as friends we look and act and think a lot like we did when we were more than that. So this new role that we have taken on in each other‘s lives has a seriously blurred line. And I don‘t know what she‘s feeling. Maybe, like me, she is hoping to rekindle something me lost. Or maybe she is trying to compartmentalize me effectively so she can move forward with her love life while also establishing me as a permanent friend. I don‘t know. And I would like to have these conversations. I have tried ro have these conversations. But they are less than effective. So all I can do now is kind of turn my heart off a bit and just fall into a new role. I think it‘s going to be extrwmely dofficult. I think so far it has been extremely dofficilt, but what I think will change it is when she is finally in a relationship/a place in her currently relationship where she decides that‘s where she wants to invest her future. Because I thibk right now we both only have dreams of the future invested in each other. Or in her case, she doesn‘t have any investments at all. And I know that she‘s already started this process of moving on and forward because she can talk about my future and remove herself from it. (That‘s something I‘m working on doing on my end) And she no longer uses future tense or suggests that things will be a certain way later. Which is fine. But she is definitely having difficulty separating my roles because she has seriously pulled back from me after realizing that I was crossing into improper territory. And let‘s face it, i‘m the worst, so I will always try to find the line of things. I‘ve beeb doing it since I was a kid. And I don‘t mean to. I think subconsciously it‘s highly highly important for me to know exactly where I rank/stand in a given situation. And I think she needs to evaluate where that line exists or else she‘s going to hurt her heart a lot more than necessary. I‘m happy for her. I am. I think it‘s hard to reconcile the fact that I have completely conflicting feelings, but they aren‘t mutually exclusive and I can have them. I need to find acceptance that this part of my life is over. And I‘ve been working on it for over a year, but I‘m having a really hard time for some reason. I have stopped beating myself up over all of my mistakes that led us here (for the most part), and I am starting to feel what a friend should feel when they see their friend doing well. And she‘s my best friend. I don‘t think she will ever be anything less than my best friend simply because she knows me and accepts me and understands me in ways that I would have a hard time giving/showing to other people. But, I think even though we both feel like you should marry/spend the rest of your life with your best friend, we recognize rhat for some people that doesn’t happen. And we‘re just one of the people. I just recognize that I have a lot of work to do if I am going tl be the friend that she deserves. And I think she has work to do too in trying to officially close me off and disassociate me from the role of wife or lover or spouse or whatever. I think we both still have lifelong plans tied to each other. And while we can be friends forever, I think it‘s going to take some work to really get me in the space where all of the other exs are. And I donnt even know if that‘s possivle honestly. There may be too much there. All I know is that I need to accept that if someone really had hope and love for me in the way that we used to have for each other, things would be different and steps would be taken to move me back into that role. But I can‘t keep letting things that I‘m feeling rule my judgement. I think it‘s really important that i sit down and work through finding acceptance that she doesn‘t love me anymore, that no matter what she says or no matter what I think she is saying nothing move me out of my new role unless she exclusively says so. And even that it‘s a little tricky. And I think it‘s important that I stop searching and trying to prematurely pull things out of her that don‘t exist. I can‘t damage our relationship or else our friendship will never be stable. And even though our friendship is the strongest thing abiut our relationship, it is still very much rooted in the role of „friendship as a foundation for partnership.“ And we‘ve been trying to mold that into „just friendship.“ It‘s a difficult process. And I don‘t know that it will ever be successful. But I am going to try my hardest to be the best friend and person I can be for her.

#Random personal nonsense #just thinking a lot

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josthecommision · 7 years ago

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Chapter 1: Fighter’s Guild jr cup

1. The Elder Scrolls Short Story: Jozre 4E 4rth of Frostall 196, Cyrodiil

It was a joyous time among the students of Bruma Academy and their teachers now that the anticipated extracurricular event of the fall had finally come. The grand academy festival of martial skill was hot vibrant with the cheers of students and family alike, all scattered across the campus among the events. None were more exited of this event then the students of the junior fighter’s guild and their mentors both teacher and parents. It was at this time of the year were the young fighters proved their merit and skill in sparring against each other to see who was best. Jozre Antonius Alkazier was among the exited hopefuls ready to prove himself in combat for the girl, or as his friend liked to correct, girls he liked.

The young khajiit was of the cathey-rhat sub species known for their naturally enhanced stature and muscle bulk and it showed as the young squire towered over the other children. Many of the young contestants of equal or lesser skill tended to lose confidence over this costing them the match, a fact Jozre was all too reliant of in the past. Having lost several matches to the more skilled and confident squires, Jozre was set on wining the competitions this time around after hard earned lessons of the past. This time, the teen-cub had actually practiced his swordsmanship and was ready to conquer.

Jozre’s golden brown eyes scanned the competition and events almost as if absorbed into it all because he could hear his best friend call out to him in frustration. It was only when the blue eyed bosmeri half-blood elf tugged on the green tunic of the dark brown maned and light brown furred khajiit that he got the feline’s attention. “Jozre, come on man, nirn to Jozre!” Cody the bosmeri half-breed snapped his fingers at Jozre before presenting his short sword in fencing motions.

“hmm? sorry there Cody, I kind of just drifted there. You were saying?” Jozre asked as he fixed his blunt bastard iron sword on his back by its rope when the smaller friend rolled his eyes.

“what, already day dreaming of the sexy girls we are going to enjoy once we win? Or I hope I win, you think the girls are interested in a swift fencer? I know I can’t win against Uldisiel and his halberd but perhaps I can insert the ladies. What you think?” Cody asked his friend as he thought of the guild undefeated champion and Aldmeri hopeful who was extremely skilled with the halberd pull ax. It was understandable how the High elf boy was not popular among the nords and imperials, a fact the elf never seemed to care about despite his polite yet professional attitude towards everything. A true altmeri perfectionist on the endless quest.

“I sure hope so for your sake, Uldisiel is apparently a young generous and I can’t expect to beat him. Not that I will not go down without a fight” Jozre commented just as they were actually passing by the young high elf who had likely heard them but showed no care in the world, simply nodding to the duo before continuing his training wile whispering something.

“man, doesn’t he ever stop practicing?”

“being a genius takes effort and you know how Altmer are, their perfectionists by nature” Jozre simply responded with a shrug as they continued to walk across the festival.

There was a great amount of merriment as the people celebrated youth and the growth of new warriors of Cyrodiil and of their community. Little children enjoyed events perfectly fitting for them as apple bobbing, animal petting with goats, sheep and small cows from the neighboring farms. Even the children were given a chance to show their fire to fight as little children were given padded armor and spongy clothed sticks standing for swords to fight each other while supervised. The older warriors would get a kick at watching children hit each other with spongy sticks while pretending to be great heroes. It was all very adorable to watch and most of the boys seemed to love it.

The boys were just sightseeing and enjoying the sights of the food offered to the populace, the jesters pulling tricks and the cute girls of ages 12 and up for the ever enthusiastic Cody. Jozre was sometimes put off at how someone so young as Cody could be thinking of wooing as many girls as a guy could but their instructors always said how boys would be boys. It was when they arrived at the archery contest just as it was beginning when Jozre’s thought of archery drew him of Cody yet again but this time at his lack luster archery when it came to the heavier bows for a bosmer.

“so light hunting bow as always Cody? Have you ever thought of lifting weights to get stronger, you know, for the war long bows” Jozre said, leaning on the fence that separated the shooting ranges from the spectators as he pointed at a 60-pound war bow sitting beside the much lighter hunting bow.

“no man, that muscle stuff is for the big guys, I like it nice and fun sized. Besides, I am really good with the hunting 30 pounder. You think would appreciate bull’s eyes?” Cody asked, knowing that the 30 pounder did not have nearly the same penetration force then the stronger war bows but he was fine with having perfect aim. “anything is possible I guess, there are bound to be girls who like someone that hits the center every time”

“Ok then, you convinced me. Going to show them why the bosmer are the most accurate shooters in the land!” exited and about the contest he would do best at despite using a weaker bow, Cody and Jozre clasped hands together with a smile as they wished each other good luck “hey, isn’t the sparing competition starting soon? Better get going then man, I’ll come find you when the archery is done.”

Jozre was surprised at the realization as the archery competition started just before the sparring and tended to end half way through the sparring. The friends clasped each other’s palms and tugged at each other in a form of manly salute before parting ways, promising to cheer for each other on. I only gearing up for sparing did not take so long. …

After approaching the location of the sparring tournament, Jozre knew that his mother was waiting for him with his gear so he was not in any rush to arrive so he took the time to inspect the competition. The grounds were thick with spectators and among them were the contestants who were mingling among the crowd and their family. Champion Uldisiel was not hard to spot as he silently gathered with his haughtier family members, all sporting high end elven garbs and even his father looking like Thalmor. Uldisiel himself wore a high end gambeson with an outer layer of silk and the signature gold falcon armor of the Aldmeri dominion, gleaming even without polish. The teen-cat felt a bit of relief seeing as the junior champ seemed to be a man of action rather than bragging like his family although he could be less cold about the world and perfection. It was then that Jozre was pleasantly spotted by the secret girl of his heart currently.

Kaylias, a ginger blond haired girl of pasty pale skin dotted with freckles and the bluest eyes one could get lost in, or as it seemed to the smitten Jozre, has spotted her secret admirer in the crowd “hay Jozre, how’s it been? Cant believe your participating! I can’t wait to see you in action!” Kaylias’ words of encouragement were followed by the ugliest smile a girl of her age could have: yellow teeth browning from over consumption of brown sugar and maybe even moon sugar. Jozre listened to her with a love smitten expression barely hidden as her flaws were completely ignored by the Khajiit, flaws that kept on coming and flaws Jozre ignored because he truly loved her “hello? Nirn to Jozre!” Jozre was startled back to reality, noting he had quite the problem for day dreaming

“oh yea, the competition. Yea, sure am and I can’t wait to prove myself. You know, because I am awesome haha” Jozre said, taking a dorky pose that made Kaylias laugh “sorry, I still need to work on my pose ” Kaylias stole a look of her former crush Uldisiel who she was very vocal about until he out right rejected her after her confession to the elf to which Jozre was there to comfort her sadness. Even when she would never give him a second thought.

“Are you sure you want to? You’re going against Uldisiel the champion. He is so gallant and perfect with the halberd that he did beat you really bad the last 2 years”

“hah, I still have to try. Right?” Jozre declared just as his expression became solemn and thought this was the best time as any “listen Kaylias, I need to confess something to you and its very important so please hear me out” Jozre spoke as the world around him seemed to mute around him and he remembered all those times he stood by her when she was sad and hurt and alone whenever someone would reject her or even bully her about her pail skin, her yellow teeth or her second bellybutton. All of this apparent flaws to her that made her the subject of ridicule from others were trivial to Jozre because he saw the beautiful and up lifting girl that she was. This was his hour to make good on his feelings for the flawed yet perfect girl before him.

“what is it, you can tell me” Kaylias asked, giving him a smile that vanished as soon as Jozre took her by the hands so suddenly and held them in his paws as if they were made of gold.

“I….I have been meaning to tell you this for years and you know. Ok, just going to say it. I love you and have loved you sines the day I meet you!” Jozre would have continued with a request for her affection but the feeling that he had already been so intrusive kept him from doing so. Kaylias just stood there, shocked and when she did move, it was to with draw her hands and mumble to herself “oh…umm well” she could only blurt out before turning tail to run away just as confused as Jozre who ended up wandering where he went wrong or if he actually did things correctly. Jozre simply stood there before the bell signaling the start of tournament rang loudly, Uldisiel gone long ago which startled Jozre and set him rushing to his station.

Rushing to his block were his gear was and his mother who would assist him, Jozre came in running and took in his surroundings, hoping he was not too late warranting disqualification. His mother made sure to convince the judges to let the others go first which was not a real problem.

Maravi, a suthay-rhat,was almost an original template of Jozre by her fur’s dark and light brown combining colors and patterns similar to an ocelot but her eyes were darker and her hair lighter. Pointing to a rack holding up a plain but thick gambeson and an old iron sword and a kettle helm, her mother began to scold him for his lateness “where were you, hmm? Your 10 minutes late. You’re lucky I could convince the judges to let the other contestants go first! Now get ready and gear up. Make us proud ok, do your best!” Maravi spoke with a motherly passion that made Jozre happy they were alone. Giving her cub a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug, Maravi rushed out to find a seat on the stands before the good ones were taken.

The Khajiit was not of a rich family but being able to make do with what he had, Jozre was able to buy himself functional but affordable gear. Jozre began to put on the gambeson with practiced ease as the frontal belts and the belt on his hips were strapped rather swiftly and not just because his match might start soon. Jozre could feel excitement in the thought of finally getting somewhere in the festival rankings that he could swear he could not feel his kettle helm and stuffy armor on. Fastening his gloves and take in hand his buckler shield and iron sword in hand, Jozre took in a deep breath at the sound of the bell and announcement of the next participants to fight.

“In the left, hailing from the dunmer lands of Morrowind just to prove his people’s superiority, the representative of the slavers of Ebonheart! give it up for Jubal!” the dark elf was probably as arrogant as any elf trying to proof something to everyone, wearing some sort of bug armor with the slaver’s chain of Dres in his chest. This would be fun. The crowd of dark elves more in touché to the savage ways of Morrowind cheered while the races and families of the oppressed and enslaved booed as hard as they could that it almost ended in a fist fight.

“yea that’s right you worthless scum, you all belong in cages!” the young Dres brandished his forked staff as if to use it to pin all none dunmer to the ground.

“and in the right corner, hailing from Elswayr and now a member of our community, member of the lesser noble house of tradesmen. Give it up to Jozre!” Jozre came out of his booth swinging his iron sword as if to challenge the slaver causing the crowd to cheer just because a khajiit was finally going to put a dunmer slaver in their place. Joining the cheers in the stands was Maravi who was pleased that so many cheered for her son even if it was situational and beside her were the rest of his family.

To her left was his father Skhar, a Cathey and just below Jozre in height, was of tall and of strong broad shouldered build who had suffered from the unfortunate belly of a beer drinking office worker. To her right was Dah-rha, cathey-rhat, and the tallest of the group despite being the youngest wile sporting the thin but athletic build of a fast runner. Dah-rah sported a peculiar feature that set him apart like his father in having a well pronounced and downward curving snout and nose. Next to him was suthey-rhat Rafra who was the wisest of them all and dark of fur like his father and baby brother, his thick build echoed the long ours in the Imperial humane resources offices. And last but not least was Skhar Jr, or Oscar as he liked to be called was the oldest of the litter arguably the tallest as a cathey-rhat and member of the Imperial military. Jozre took strength by the fact that his family was there to cheer for him, even if it was for a moment as each one had places to be.

With the bell ringing loudly, the fight was on the way and soon the two warriors began sizing them up, or at least Jozre did as the Dres boy was sure of his victory by racial virtue alone “so, cat, ready to eat dirt like the animal that you are?” the dunmer spat the word cat as he tried to seem bigger then he really was, almost a foot shorter than the still growing Jozre. Fighting against the urge to go berserk on the elf, Jozre studied his situation to find an opening as he noted he had the strength advantage but not the speed nor the reach thanks to the forked staff of the slaver who continued the taunting “so, ready to lose?”

“Big mouth for a privileged snob like you who’s ugly armor those not even have a scratch on it! what, first real battle little elf?” Jozre taunted back, noting that the bug looking armor was so pristine and scratch less that it had never seen real combat “you never actually fought have you? Only had slaves to spar with?”

Jozre had unwittingly guessed correctly as the Dres had little experience with a real fight unlike Jozre and in an attempt to prove the khajiit wrong the Dres boy attaced. Seeing the faint trace of mounting frustration, Jozre decided to block and side stepping the jabs the dunmer while looking for an opening in hopes of frustrating the elf “Is this all you have ashy? Man are you slow!” Jozre added salt to insult by rushing forward after a slightly clumsy thrust from the dunmer to bash him in the face with his sword’s pummel before stepping back.

The Dunmer screamed in agony right after stepping back, the blow of metal on bone having fractured on of his teeth as noted by the bloody drool and the faint sound of cringing. With his enemy stunned, Jozre took the chance and slashed at the dunmer’s knee before finally tackling him to the ground only to sit on top of him and bring his blunt iron sword between the gaps of the Dres’ helmet and breastplate “got you now.”

The judges had seen enough and rang the bell signaling the end of the match, sending guild members to aid the participants as Jozre got up with a smile on his face “match set, victory goes to Jozre” the crowd cheering for Jozre and for the defeat of the Dres roared in approval as Jozre took in the sight and lifted his sword in triumph “how those it tastes to eat the dirt an “animal” stepped on, eh chimuelo?” Jozre taunted and spat at his direction while no one was looking before rushing odd before the Dres could respond, cackling along the way. It sure felt good to put a jerk like that in his place but he had to keep that from going to his head, it was bound to get harder from up to that point. Little did the Khajiit know just how difficult the day was going to be because talented opponents were not the only threats Jozre would face that day.

#The Elder Scrolls #khajiit #Bruma #Jozre #Prequal #backstory #OC

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