#revival drum shop

[tonycries]

Bad Boys Bring Roses - G.S.

Synopsis. You’ve never dealt with the yakuza - not once. So why is the future head of the Gojo clan suddenly coming up to you, demanding that you marry him for 30 days?

Pairing. Yakuza boss! Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, yakuza! au, fake marriage, annoyances to lovers, elders suck, mentioned k*lling (not reader or Satoru), Satoru is INSANE and SO down bad, one bed trope, praise, biting, oral (fem receiving), fíngering, unprotected, créampie, spitting, overstim, flower language, kníves, bit dark, HAPPY ENDING, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 9.1k (whoopsies)

A/N. I just HAD to get this out of my mind like I wanna write an entire book series on this. Spent too long researching rose language as well so see if y’all catch that hehe.

You thought the wedding invitation was a joke when it had arrived - a delicate, lacey little card that you’ve probably read over a million times by now. It had been stuffed haphazardly into your mailbox, along with a ridiculously large bouquet of purple roses. Seemingly inconspicuous when you first tore into the thick envelope, wondering which one of your friends was getting married now. 

And it was - that is, until you saw your name at the very top - right where the blushing bride’s was supposed to be. 

We hereby formally invite you to the marriage of…

What? 

No return address. No date. No groom’s name either. Only yours, written in beautiful, golden writing - inviting you to your own wedding, exactly a week from now.

You remember perfectly the way you’d flipped it over and over in your hands, the gears turning in your head as you tried to crack down on the motive behind this invitation. A threat? A joke? Texting all of your friends about what a cute prank that was - only to get a shared confused reaction, and a few “April Fool’s has already passed, y’know.”

Hell, you’d even cornered the mailman, desperate to get to the bottom of this. But that wasn’t particularly helpful when he was only able to shake his head in protest, pale as a sheet, and trembling ever-so-slightly as he sped away from you. Weird. 

Without a clue as to who sent the letter, or even a follow-up in the days after, you stuffed the invitation somewhere deep in the back of your closet and handed the bouquet to your mother. Not bothering to tell your parents where it was from - because who’d worry over a stupid prank like this? It was probably one of the kids from down the street that’d gotten their grubby lil’ hands on a printer. 

You, however, had more important things to focus on - like trying to help your father revive his failing diner. It was a family business, a quaint, hearty little shop. One that was quickly, and dangerously, losing both customers and employees with the brand new fast food place that’d popped up right across the street. 

Which is why you found yourself here - working overtime on a Saturday night, looking over the empty chairs and stacks of boxes from behind the counter. Whatever, it was only a few weeks until relocation anyway.

You heave out a sigh, eyes flitting to the clock beside you - 11:21pm.

Nine minutes more, you drum your fingers in boredom, maybe you should just close up early. Because sure as hell no one else was-

“Oh? Still open?”

“Ah- Uh, yes, welcome!” Jolting out of your reverie, you stand up ramrod straight, taking in the customer standing at the door. He wasn’t one of the regulars - no, you think you’d remember if he was. Cloudy white hair, piercing blue eyes that twinkle from above his shades, even in the dim light of the diner. He was so very tall, taking up almost all of the doorframe, only getting more and more imposing as he walks up to you in quick, long strides. Magnetizing. 

And if you dared let your eyes wonder, you caught a few tattoos peeking out from his unfairly snug button-up, clashing with its flashy blue color. Dragons? Trees? Or were they flowers - roses?

“Roses.” the man in front of you answers your unspoken question, voice so very deep, and melodic - tinged with something playful in it that you wouldn’t have expected at first glance. At your raised brow he continues with a wink, “Could tell ya were checkin’ me out, sweetheart.”

“F-forgive my rudeness, sir.” you sputter, face burning. You look away from the way his muscled ripple as he crosses his arms, immediately turning to fumble with the menus, “Please take a seat and I’ll be there with you shortly.”

You’d expected him to take up a booth, or maybe head towards one of the good tables around the corner. What you did not expect was for him to plop down on the stool right in front of you, flashing you a playful grin before humming, “S’alright, m’just waitin’ for someone.”

Oh. Well, it made sense that someone like him would be taken. Swallowing, you hand over the menu, before giving him a close-lipped smile, “A lover?”

Resting his head on his palms, not bothering to even glance at the list of dishes before him. “My fiancée.”

“Congratulations, Mr…”

“Gojo Satoru.” he tilts his head, looking way too happy with himself. “Please, call me Satoru.” 

You nod softly, picking up your pen and notepad to get this conversation over with - and maybe to also avoid his heavy stare that made something hot and uncomfortable coil in your stomach. “Right, Mr-” at his disappointed whine, “Satoru. Congratulations, must be one heck of a thing to plan.”

“Oh I’m having fun with the wedding planning.” He waves off your words with a chuckle, missing - or pointedly ignoring - the way you were waiting for his order. “How’s it going for you?”

What?

You narrow your eyes at the way Satoru was batting those long lashes up at you, deceivingly innocent and waiting for your answer. “I’m sorry- Me? Did you mean with the diner relocation plans or-”

“No no no.” he laughs, loud and boisterous. And usually you’d have a thing or two to say at someone interrupting you if you weren’t so mesmerized by that little dimple at the corner of his grin. One that moves as he plows on, “M’asking how wedding planning is going for you, wifey~”

There’s a beat of silence. One. Two. With you gaping at the pure audacity as Satoru quiets down to little titters, seemingly studying your reaction in amusement. Which slowly, but surely, drains from his face as you grit out a sharp, “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, sir. We’re very busy and don’t have time to entertain your pick-up lines.”

Those widened blue eyes sweep the painfully empty diner, letting out a low whisper. “I can see that.” you let out a strangled noise of embarrassment at that. “But you’re really gonna ask your husband to leave?”

Huffing in frustration, “I don’t have a husband.”

“...you do.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I don’t. And who the fuck are you to tell me I do?”

“What?!” Satoru jumps out of his seat in shock, fast enough that the stool clatters to the floor with a deafening clang! Hands slamming on the counter as he leans over it - so close that you could feel his minty breath fanning your face with each hurried, shrill word that tumbles out of his lips. “What do you mean you don’t have a- I’m gonna kill those fuckin’- After I bought Canva premium just to make that invitation? Did the flowers come at least?”

And while Satoru is panicking, words spilling out of his mouth a mile a minute - only one of those rings in your mind - invitation. 

“You.” you hiss, barely audible over meltdown in front of you. Pointing a finger accusingly, “You’re the one behind that prank with the dumbass roses.”

That seems to snap Satoru out of his dramatic monologue - and you’re glad it did. Because he looks up to meet your glare, “Hey! You didn’t like the roses?” 

And for the first time, you see Satoru more serious than he’d been ever since stepping into this diner. Eyes somewhere behind you, ablaze and almost…frightening. “Didn’t you ask him?” 

You whirl around to see your father, who’d apparently rushed downstairs at the commotion. Baseball bat to fight off the intruder hanging in midair as he stands frozen, taking in the scene before him - but more importantly, that man in front of him. “You.”

---

And, well, it’s not everyday that you’re having late night tea with your parents and one of your father’s…business associates. Even rarer when said business associate is…you gulp, praying to whoever’s above that this is all some sick dream you’ll wake up any second from. 

“So, let me get this straight…” you sigh, pinching your nose in frustration. It’s been an hour or two of trying to understand whatever this was. Giving a stern look at the two men squirming across from you in the booth. “My father was conned by one of your-” you gesture your head at Satoru, which only makes his smirk grow, “-men to take a loan from your um-”

“Family, yakuza. Anything goes.” he supplies helpfully.

You wave him off, trying as quickly as possible to brush off the ‘yakuza’ bit that makes your stomach lurch. “And now he owes you a favor of…what exactly?”

Satoru leans across the table, t-shirt opening tantalizingly. Voice dropping to an almost-pleading murmur, “Look, I just need you to pretend to be my doting, loving, charming, gorgeous-” backtracking at your withering glare, “...Anyway. I just need a fake wife for a few months, convince my family to get off my back about arranged marriage n’ carrying the Gojo legacy. Then bam! you stomp all over my heart, we divorce and I’m too heartbroken to ever get married again. Easy.” 

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

You bet Satoru’s disappointed groan echoed across all 23 words of Tokyo, because it was definitely ringing in your ears amongst whirlwind thoughts of marriage? To a yakuza? Completely, and utterly ridiculous. And from his talks of “carrying the family name” it seemed like he was some sort of future head as well. Though, he definitely wasn’t acting like it right now. 

“Alright. Plan B, then.” 

Oh? You couldn’t help but think that maybe he wasn’t that much of a manchild as sits up from where he’d been splayed all over the table in tragedy. Lacing his fingers together before turning to your father, continuing in a more diplomatic tone, “But I want the cash you took. In full. Now. Gonna hafta disguise my best friend as my wife, n’ dresses for a six foot man aren’t cheap.”

Your mother looked like she could faint right then and there. Choking out a noise of surprise, “B-but we’ve deposited it all for the relocation- Please, can’t we pay any other-”

At the firm shake of his head, you stammer, “Now? Aren’t you some yakuza nepo baby, can’t you just ask your parents for money?”

“No.” Satoru chuckles, in a tone which told you that he probably could but might just lose his head for it. Only further supported as he muses, “Not unless I want a finger cut off for dealin’ money on the side. Seriously, sweetheart, why did you think I sent you the invitation last week?”

“Take me instead.” you father cries, trying to negotiate above Satoru’s half-joking mutters of “Ugh, I’m not into ol’ men dumb enough to sign yakuza contracts.”

It was all too much. You couldn’t take out the relocation deposit - it was a new start, possibly the only thing to save your family. Nor do you have enough in savings to pay back the loan. And if Satoru’s warning was anything to listen to, then you knew that dealing with the yakuza could be dangerous. Why you? Why you? Why you? 

“Fine.”

The moment that word leaves your lips, it’s like the whole world freezes. Everyone in the room - including yourself - unsure of whether they heard you right. “I’ll do it.” you clarify, voice hesitant but firm. Eyeing the way Satoru’s eyes begin to sparkle, the beginnings of a smile curling his lips. Raising a finger to shush your father’s protests, “But for a month, until we leave this place. After that m’going with my family and you’re never to contact us ever again. Deal?”

And oh Satoru seemed over the moon, reaching out to grasp your hand in a handshake - so warm, and softer than you’d imagined. “Swear on m’life, wifey. You can kill me if not.”

He was so intimidating - and intimidatingly exhilarating.

Only an hour more of arguing and a quick phone call later, men - yakuza, you assume - were flooding your family’s little diner. All tattooed and burly, looking somewhat comical as they carried your few packed-up suitcases outside. Well, at least they stayed for a late dinner. 

And ended up being witnesses to a very rushed, very rushed signing of marriage agreements. Evidence to really show up your alleged marriage. It barely even lasted a few minutes before, well, that was that - you were married, to the son of a yakuza head. 

You say a quick goodbye to your teary parents, soothing them with promises of “I’ll be back before you know it. One month. That’s all.” 

“And don’t worry about a thing,” Satoru sing-songs, coming up behind you. “If there’s anyone she’s safe with, it’s me.”

“You better keep your mitts off of my baby.” your father warns, raising the baseball bat still clutched in his hand menacingly. 

“I won’t lay a hand on her, father-in-law. And anyone that even thinks about it…” he cackles, breath hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “I’ll kill.”

Prancing off to hold the door of that shiny black Mercedes parked outside open for you. “Ladies first.”

With another quick hug to your parents, you hastily make your way inside. Feeling extremely out of place amongst the overly luxurious interior in your slightly-stained work uniform. God, the covers on these cushions themselves probably cost more than your house. 

“Like the car? I can buy you one. Or four, as a wedding gift.” Satoru grins. 

Oh, right. You weren’t in here alone - you were here with your new…husband. The word felt so strange to even wrap your head around, instead you turn to meet his easy smile. Clenching your jaw as you grit out, “So how do we act m-married?”

You swear he brightens up impossibly, scooting closer to you on the seat. Heart lurching as he raises his eyes to meet yours, dizzy with the heat of his proximity, he promptly pulls out his Notes app. 

“Well, you see. I forgot to send this with the invitation so you better memorize this before we get home.” flashing you a long, long list of likes and dislikes, “Here’s my favorite color and my favorite Digimon and-”

That car ride could not have been longer. Because in addition to arguing with Satoru about who the best Digimon was, you had to fill out your own version of his overly extensive list. “So we can be foolproof.” he’d whined. And you’d been so engrossed in the process that you barely noticed the looming estate out the window.

“We’re here, young master and madam Gojo.”

It took a second to register that the driver was talking to you as well as Satoru, immediately pushing your face against the window to take in the scenic site before you. Heavy wooden doors - probably taller than an average house - opening to reveal sprawling gardens. Koi ponds and rose bushes lining a pathway that led to a traditional Japanese house - all power and glory. You half wondered whether you were still in Tokyo. 

“Home sweet home.” Satoru grunts. “Such a beautiful hell, huh?”

Your home, for the next month. At least. 

And if you had any doubt that Satoru was in fact the future yakuza head, that all went out the window at the welcome you got. Men lining the wooden hallway, bowing at the waist while your all-new husband wraps a hand around your shoulders, pointing out the various rooms and ornaments as he led you in. 

“-and this is going to be our room.” he brings you in front of a large tatami room, one the size of your entire diner. 

“Ours.” you repeat. Walking unhurriedly to the king-sized bed in the middle - the only bed. Heart pounding as you take it all in. 

“Ours.” Satoru echoes, happily. And if he was any bit as affected as you are, then he doesn’t show it, instead pulling out a blue yukata from the closet, a golden Gojo emblem stamped on the back. Made with such a pretty, delicate fabric that it made you shiver to think how much it cost. “Now, I had these made jus’ for you last week. You can give me a lil’ fashion show tomorrow, so make sure you get some rest, wifey.”

It’s only when he says the word “rest” that you realize exactly how tired you are. Your long shift and the entirety of this having your eyes feeling heavier than usual. 

“Um…” you start, risking a glance at the bed. 

Satoru jolts, “Ah- don’t worry, sweetheart. You take the bed.” beginning to saunter outside to meet his team. “Got some work, so I’ll be sleeping in my office. Dream of me~”

And, really, you almost felt bad splaying yourself out on the crisp navy sheets. Sinking into the heady smell of fabric softener, and something so so Satoru. Addictive. Like an expensive cologne that made your head spin, one that wafted through your mind as you dreamt of summer weddings, and blue, blue skies.

“Ichiji.”

“Yes, young master.”

“See to it that the madam is safe. Anyone try anything funny and you bring them back alive. I wanna be the one to play with them, okay~?”

“Of course, young master.”

---

Admittedly, you probably have the best sleep of your life at the Gojo estate- or, it would’ve been if your husband didn’t burst in every morning at 7am. Handing you a ridiculously big bouquet of white roses, straight from the garden, before dragging you outside. 

Milling about the estate, Satoru was never too far behind, chattering away. Letting you hold onto his strong arm crossing the bridges, occasionally having you show up to yakuza meetings as his plus one. Relishing in the rumors spreading all through the yakuza syndicates in Tokyo. Gojo Satoru, and the commoner wife he’d do anything for.

Weirdly enough, some strange little part of you thinks he puts in a lot more work than necessary for some pretend relationship…

“I think that stupid plan is really working, y’know.” you muse to him after a few days of this. Dipping your fingers into one of your favorite koi ponds with a nod at the figures watching you from a distance - Gojo clan elders, you assume. “Those old coots hate being within a five mile radius of me.”

Satoru huffs out a laugh, “That so? S’probably the method acting then, huh? Taking good care of me, wifey?” he wiggles his eyebrows, nudging you from where he was holding an umbrella beside you. 

Furrowing your brows mockingly, “S’funny for you to say, they don’t even look at me. But they follow me around everywhere.”

“Do they annoy you, must I do my duty as a husband and gouge their eyes out?”

He…didn’t sound like he was joking. 

Rolling your eyes, you pointedly ignoring the way your heart lurches at the word “husband.” Still so jumpy at the idea. “Speaking of, your parents give up the marriage proposals, yet?”

At this, Satoru clenches his jaw. “Still nagging, but they’re finally considering you as my actual bride rather than some hijink.” he spits out, seemingly recalling whatever conversation they’d had before. “And they want to have some family ‘dinner’, but it’s going to be awful and you don’t-”

“Let’s go.” you interrupt, nodding determinedly. “The realer this marriage seems, the faster we can divorce, no?”

He blinks at you slowly, “That’s…true. For the divorce, then?”

“For the divorce.”

And, well, that was settled - you were to meet your new in-laws. The ever-elusive heads of the Gojo clan. Also one of the most powerful yakuza in all of Japan, but, semantics really.

You spend the evening cooped up with Satoru in the library, poring over the bloody history of the yakuza - with the Gojo’s heading them all. The only time he actually leaves your side is a few hours before the dinner. 

“For you.” he’d murmured, lips ghosting your ear, slipping something cold onto your finger. You look down to see one of the most beautiful rings you’ve ever seen - gold, with delicate blue and white diamonds encrusting it, cut in the shape of roses. “Can’t be married without a wedding ring, huh? Think of it as a good luck charm for tonight.”

And with that he’s swept away in a flurry of bodyguards and ruffled men, and you’re left standing there all alone. Cheeks burning, wondering how the hell he knew your perfect fit. 

You worry longer about the dinner than you spend actually preparing for it. Though, that’s probably because of the group of stylists that come into your room to help you dress. Wordlessly fussing around you despite your weak attempts at conversation, eyes averted. Almost like they were…scared of you. 

But there wasn’t much time to think of that - not when you’re being marched off in the direction of what you remember Satoru had called the family dining room. “More like a fuckin’ meeting room for those hardasses.” he’d snarked.

The moment you step in, all eyes turn to you - the only ones you recognize being Satoru’s, who immediately stands with a smile. “Ah, wifey! Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” pulling you into a tight hug. His voice drops into a low, raspy murmur in your ear, “Ya look fuckin’ gorgeous in my colors, y’know.”

Traitorously, jolts of electricity run down your spine. Especially at how fucking gorgeous he looked in traditional wear. Whispering back, “Playing up the doting husband bit, huh?”

“Only for you.”

Pulling away, you drink in his dangerously handsome state. Hair so effortlessly styled, tattoos winking at you from just above his yukata - blue, to match yours. So pretty.

Stammering out, “Corny.”

“Only for-”

“Now that the girl is finally here, may we begin with dinner?” A stained voice sounds from behind Satoru, old and tinged with a tone that years of customer service told you did not bode well. Craning your head, you look over his broad shoulders, meeting the eyes of several disapproving elders. 

Shit. Some of the most dangerous people in this country right now. 

Gathered here - for you. 

Automatically, you knew which ones were his parents - painfully upright, and hauntingly beautiful in a cold, calculated way. Sat right at the head of the long table. With a jolt, you realize that you two are seated right opposite them. 

“So.” his mother starts, as you take your seat with a bow. Satoru doesn’t waste any time on niceties, plopping down right next to you, scooting closer than necessary. “Congratulations on the…wedding, my son.”

My son. You ignore the way both parents pointedly avoided looking at you. Your husband, however, does not. “What~ Not gonna wish my dear wife as well?”

It’s a silent staredown - one that has the entire room on edge. You don’t realize that you’re clenching your fists in tension until Satoru untangles them, slipping his larger hands into yours. Gaze still alarmingly intense and locked on the other side of the table.

He wins.

“Congratulations. Let us begin now.” 

You breathe out a sigh of relief, the tension only slightly broken as butlers stream into the room, carrying decadent trays of food. Well, at least the food might make up for how appalling this dinner is going to be.

It’s only 15 minutes in that you realize how very, horribly wrong you are - because the elders of the Gojo estate really don’t hold back, do they? Thank God you memorized every part of that stupid likes and dislikes list.

Besides picking apart every aspect of your relationship that they could manage to squeeze out of you between the appetizer and the main course, the main scrutiny tonight seems to be you. But in that icy, subtle way that has Satoru’s jaw clenching tighter each second. 

Lips curling, Gojo senior eyes you over his wine glass. “So, dear,” voice dripping with underlying venom despite the pet name. “Is it true our Satoru missed an esteemed marriage meeting with the Zenin group to ambush you at some rundown old diner?”

You fight to keep the smile plastered onto your face, painful and cracking under the pressure. A hand squeezing under the table to stop Satoru from opening his mouth to retort, you answer instead, “Well, ambushed wouldn’t be the word. You could say we fell in love over the counter - at my family’s diner.”

“A waitress, she said?”

“Now we know why it was this rushed. Probably pregnant.”

“The scandal. How far the Gojo name has fallen.”

The few stifled gasps from the other end of the table are so dramatic that you could almost laugh. But you don’t. Breath hitching as Mrs. Gojo chuckles, “Marrying the daughter of a lowly diner owner? How... quaint.”

“Mother, be quiet or-”

“What?” she throws her hands in exasperation. “Can’t I say anything around here. Honestly, Satoru, I’m just trying to make conversation with your new wife.”

Before either you or Satoru can react, his father speaks up, apparently not done with the interrogation. “You understand that we’re just worried, right, dear? Especially with marrying into prestigious families, of course.” The emphasis on “prestigious” is not lost on you.” And it drives you insane. 

Steeling yourself, you train your eyes on the untouched food below you. “I understand.”

Plowing on as if trying to infuriate you, “And you understand that this position is dangerous? You’ll be targeted.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Don’t be swept up in our Satoru’s charm and wealth, dear, my son just wants a way out of duty.” tone dripping with disdain, Satoru’s grip becoming tighter and tighter on yours. “The Gojo syndicate owns half of this city, we could bulldoze over that little diner of yours with only one phone call”

“My wife and I are leav-”

“I said I fuckin’ understand.” Your words hang in the air like a foul stench, and you raise your head to glare. If looks could kill, all the elders in this room would be six feet under and you’d be dancing on their graves already. “Neither me, nor my husband would ever let that happen because he knows a thing or two about respect, unlike you.” Lacing your fingers tighter with Satoru’s. “So shove your mighty family up your wrinkly asses. I don’t give a flying shit.” 

Eyes wide, jaws dropped, the old couple opposite you finally seems stunned into silence. And if it was any other situation you could’ve almost laughed at how similar they looked to Satoru when he found out you thought his proposal was a prank.

His father adjusts his glasses. “Perhaps that is so.”

Ah, if only the rest of the table would be quietened just as easily. 

“Not only is she a slut she’s a-”

Thud!

It all happens so fast you’re not even sure if your eyes are playing tricks on you. Because in a split-second, the knife that was at your side is suddenly embedded, deep into the wooden table - barely even an inch away from the elder that had spoken up. 

“You’re lucky I’m matching with my wife n’ didn’t want to dirty this new yukata.” a voice sounds from your side. Melodic and so so eerie that you don’t realize for a second that it’s Satoru - your Satoru. 

He loops an arm under your legs as he stands up. Easily maneuvering you into a princess carry, forcing you to cling onto his robes for dear life as your feet dangle from the floor. You look up - maybe to snap at Satoru to put you down - only for the words to die in your throat at how absolutely fucking feral your husband looked. Eyes wide, aura menacing. A grin gracing his features, not the familiar one which had your heart racing, no - something so dangerous and cold. 

“Now,” he hums. Turning his back to the room, gaze still locked with the shocked heads inside, “My lovely wife and I will be retiring. Won’t you all say goodnight to your future madam?”

You don’t know what shocks you more - the way everyone in that room mumbles out a disdainful little “Goodnight, ma’am.”, or the way Satoru cackles as he carries you to your shared bedroom. Laying you gently on the mattress with a quiet, “Be right back, sweetheart.”

What the fuck happened?

He could’ve killed that man. And looked like he wanted to. 

Your brain yells at you - run away run away run away- But you weren’t…scared? In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever been less fearful in your entire life. Especially not when Satoru stumbles back into the room, clearly rushing. Something warm spreading in your chest at the trays of food in his hands.

“Dinner’s better without a bunch of fossils on my kill list.” he grins. Settling right next to you on the bed, setting out the dinner he’d brought for you. And, well, you didn’t doubt that they really were on his kill list. 

“Hey, wifey.” Satoru speaks up after a few moments of silence, satisfied with the food laid in front of you. “M’sorry for putting you through that. No more family dinners from now.”

You inch closer to lay your head on his sculpted shoulder, a hand bringing up the food to his pretty lips. He smelled so good, faintly like pine, and clouds. It made you so dizzy. “Eat, Satoru.”

That’s all which is said, because maybe that’s all that was needed. And for a second there, you almost forget that this is all pretend.

---

“Hey, uh- mister. You alright?” you call out, voice barely audible over the rain. 

The sullen figure didn’t react at first, soaked through and eyes trained on the ground. Unmoving, even when you hesitantly drew closer, umbrella quivering in your hands. 

You should turn around - walk away like everyone else on the sidewalk was doing. But no, something about the way he sat alone, stoic to the storm around him made you inch closer. “Here.” you hold out your umbrella. “S’our diner’s, but you look like you could use this more than I do.”

He jolts, as if hearing you for the first time. A flash of blue, so quick you almost think you miss it. Still not raising his head fully, the man’s snowy hair tousles as he jerkily closes around the handle. Pretty. And so so sad.

“It’ll be alright.” you nod. 

And with that, you turn, running back in the rain to the haven of the diner, where your father was waiting impatiently - he’d just bought the boxes to start packing up for relocation. Fingers still burning ever-so-slightly where his hand had brushed against yours. How strange, you wondered his name.

---

Satoru stayed true to his word over the weeks that followed. His parents seemed well and fully intent on avoiding you. And, well, other than a few disdainful remarks, the elders mostly scurried away in fear at your very sight. 

The only thing that made your skin prickle was that the housekeepers had a penchant for peeping in on the two of you. Increasingly following you - they always did, but now…honestly, it was a bit disconcerting. 

But other than that, it was almost…peaceful. You wake up every morning to a large bouquet of burgundy roses at your bedside table - and a husband. Because Satoru had taken to sleeping on the little couch at the corner of your room every night - saying something about not wanting to rouse suspicion because if he actually had a wife he’d be “taking her to bed every night”. Somehow, you didn’t doubt it. 

“Funny how it’s getting close to a month of being married, but you haven’t even kissed me yet.” you deadpan. Looking down at where he was resting his head in your lap, sprawled across the soft grass in the garden.

Something else also happened - something different.

Because Satoru was a bit touchier, a bit closer. Like right now, preening into your fingers carding through his soft hair. “Oh~? Why, wanna take me to bed, wifey?”

“You wish.”

“Maybe I do.”

Your hands still, pulse racing as your eyes bore into Satoru’s, trying to figure out what sort of bad joke this was. Subconsciously, you find yourself leaning down closer - too closer. Close enough that you could count every shade of blue in his hungry gaze. But by the grace of whoever was above-

“Young master, please excuse the intrusion but you have-”

Sitting up abruptly, addressing the newcomer in a stone-cold tone. “How many fuckin’ times have I not told you to never bother me when I’m with my wife?”

The servant bows apologetically, sputtering out apologies as you move to get up. Flashing a smirk at Satoru’s dramatic pout, “I have to catch up on some reading anyway. See ya, Satoru.” 

“Noo~ my sweetheart don’t leave me~” 

You stifle a laugh at his little tantrum, so different from when he was serious. He was so….dizzying. “You’ll be okay, Satoru.” Glancing up nervously to meet the servant’s intense stare, studying the scene before him, how different his master was. “I’ll be at the library now.”

And Satoru notices - of course, he does. He sees that tiny flash of concern in your eyes. One that you might not have noticed yourself. He lowers his voice as you walk away, so you don’t hear him speaking behind you. Words dripping with a similar venom he always heard from his parents, “Now, tell me who you’re spying for. Names, first and last.” 

Satoru doesn’t join you in the library that day, the first time in weeks. And you find yourself missing him more than you should. It’s dark out by the time you’re raising your head from the books, joints aching from poring over them for hours. The house seems a lot quieter. Somewhat bigger. 

Something was wrong. Something was wrong. Something was wrong. 

Scratching the back of your head, you wander through the wooden hallways to your bedroom - wondering what was amiss. Your feet take you there as if on autopilot, thankful for Satoru’s meticulous tours. 

“Hey,” you smile softly at a servant making your bed, “Where are-”

Your question dies in your throat at the way she yelps at your words, hurrying down the corridor with a jerky bow. Weird. Leaving you all alone, and confused, muttering to yourself, it’s only then that you notice the flash of red by your bedside table. 

Not a bouquet. Only a single, red rose - a note tied around the stem, something you’d never gotten before. 

“The marriage proposals have been revoked, your contract is fulfilled, my ex-wife.”

Oh, reading that hurt more than it should’ve. You should be happy at being free, a few days earlier than expected at that - but it was over - just like that. You didn’t want to leave him. You didn’t want to leave him.You didn’t want to leave him.

 Were you going insane?

Clutching the flower like a lifeline, heaving out a sigh, “Maybe Satoru knows…”

“Thinking of me?”

Startled, you whirl behind to face your husband. In the dim-lighting, making out the stoney expression on his face, eyes wide and a little duller than they had been earlier today. 

“Satoru?”

His eyes light up at the mere sound of your voice - then you’re engulfed in him. Wrapping you in his arms, bowing his body into yours, so tight that it almost hurts. But you let him, fisting the fresh yukata in your hands - and that’s when you realize, he’s changed his robes since this morning. “Are you okay?” you whisper into his shoulder. Drinking in the smell of his cologne, and something faintly metallic. 

Every cell in your body is screaming at you to take the opportunity - to run away from this yakuza and his slaughter and whatever this was. But how could you? Staying rooted to the spot, not even a speck of fear.

Satoru heaves out a heavy breath, tickling the hairs at your nape as he pulls you impossibly closer. “Those nosy elders won’t be bothering you anymore, sweetheart. You’re free to go.”

A shudder runs down your spine at his words, and you didn’t want to think too hard about what they meant. Instead, you guide him to your bed - and, surprisingly, he allows you to. Letting the two of you sink into the plush mattress. With Satoru still in your arms. He repeats, “You’re free to go.”

Run away. Run away. Run away-

There it was again - that strained little manta. You stare right into his eyes, voice thick at the sinking feeling in your stomach. “My 30 days aren’t over yet.” 

“Leave. Please.” he grunts into the crook of your neck, like your hands drawing patterns down his back had broken some dam. “M’not a good man.” 

You press your lips to his forehead, searing and a desperate attempt to soothe the man. “I think I’ll be the judge of that.”

“I’m yakuza, sweetheart. Doomed to follow my parents here.” he mutters, strained and voice more unsure than you’ve ever heard. And once he started, it was like Satoru just couldn’t stop, rambling into your skin, “I hate it here, and you should, too. All these fuckin-”

“So go with me instead.”

“What if-”

“Toru.‘ you cut off his words, slurring and spilling out of his mouth. Gently, you pry him away from his little haven, reeling back to take a good look at the face he’s been hiding for so long. Hair mussed, curtaining his whirling eyes - all disheveled and vulnerable where he was once so suave. 

Your eyes bore into his, unwavering. “It’ll be alright, Toru.”

And then he’s kissing you - and you’re kissing him. Only when his lips meet yours, soft, and so so sweet, do you realize that this is everything you ever want right now - possibly these past few weeks. “Y’can kill me if you don’ want his.” he mutters into your open mouth.  

It’s so desperate - a messy clash of teeth and saliva, Satoru was drinking you in like you were the last drop of water on Earth. He tasted so sweet, like candy almost, and the gentle caress of a lover. You were addicted like you could do this forever and ever and-

And then he’s pulling away. A disappointed little whine leaves you involuntarily as he parts, delicate strings of saliva snapping in the space between you two. Satoru’s mouth drops into a soft oh! at the noise, surging forward minutely like he was about to kiss you senseless again. Only to halt with a pained grunt, just a hair’s breadth from your lips. 

“M’sorry.” Claiming your lips once again, like a man possessed. Drinking in your breathless gasps. Like he never wanted to let go. “F-fuck, sweetheart. Y’don’t know how crazy you drive me.” he pants.

“Why did you pick me?” you blurt out, a question that had been nagging at the back of your mind every time Satoru slipped his hand in yours, introducing you as his loving wife. “Was it just the debt?”

He’s kissing your pulse now, canines hovering over the erratic little cadence. Breathing you in like you were intoxicating. “No.” he’s licking a long, languid stripe up your neck. Pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down every inch of skin he could reach. 

“Then why?” your words come out in almost an embarrassing plea. But by the way his breath hitches, you know that Satoru loves it. 

“Because.” he breathes, “You treated me like a human.”

He’s capturing your lips with his again, nipping at your bottom lips. You squeal as he pulls, suddenly wanting him to tease you like this everywhere. To have him absolutely ruin you like you know he could - treat you like the wife he claimed you were. 

But Satoru wasn’t done yet - far from it. He chuckles, kissing down your neck, fumbling with the ties of your yukata, “Remember that night? You probably don’t, was rainin’ so hard I thought I’d drown out there.” Worshiping the valley between your breasts as he hastily unbuckles your bra. “That night was when the marriage proposals had come in. They said I’d either carry the legacy or be forced to leave the family. Kicked out of my own home.” 

And you’re reeling from both his words and the way Satoru was rocking his hips into yours now, something hot, and so achingly hard pressing in the damp area between your legs. “Thought I was gonna take ‘em all out that night.”

“Take them all out?” your breath hitches.

“Every. Single. One.” Fingers dancing across the hem of your panties. “Wouldn’t have felt bad about it either.” 

Satoru’s licking down your navel now, humming in confirmation into your skin. “But then…” he groans, taking in the first fucking sinful sight of your drenched panties. So flimsy and already dripping for him - and after just a few kisses, really? You were heaven on Earth. “But then along came you. So pretty and all worried f’me. The daughter of that diner owner I’d loaned money too.”

You watch, heart racing as Satoru swallows in awe. Darkened gaze locked on the way your slick beads out of your pussy, bare thighs trying to close - give yourself some semblance of dignity. But no- how could you? When Satoru’s holding them apart.

“And then I knew…” he’s sliding his index underneath your panties up and down, grazing your swollen folds. Pooling your sweet sweet juices on his fingertip before popping it into his mouth. Eyes fluttering shut at the taste, and you’ve never seen him look so blissful. “I just had to have you.”

Rip! 

The cold air brushes against you before you even know it - only when you feel Satoru’s hot breath against your dripping cunt does it hit - this bastard just ripped your panties off. And he was dangling it like a badge of honor, breathing in your juices so animalistically. 

Your lips wobble as he just admires your pussy, the way it glistens and clenches around nothing. “Hah- please.”

“Please what?” he grins, and you can feel him licking little circles around your inner thigh. So close. “The wife of a yakuza boss has gotta know how to use her words.”

“You’re awful.”

“And yet you married me.”

With such a cute lil’ whine that makes Satoru’s cock twitch so painfully, you buck your hips closer to his hot mouth. “Wan’ your mouth on me, to eat me out. Please, Toru.”

He lets out a shuddering breath, “There’s my girl.”

You gasp when he surges forward, burying his pretty face nose-deep in your pussy. Holding your breath as he lazily licks up your folds - long, sloppy movements of his tongue all the way from your base to your swollen clit. Swirling deftly around the sensitive nub. 

Drunk off your pussy with the way he’s so messy - seemingly unable to decide between sucking harshly on your poor, ravaged clit to dipping into your sloppy hole. And it’s driving you mad, keening and pulling at his soft locks. You haven’t been touched this good in ages, and Satoru was well and fully intent on ruining you. 

“Shhh, don’t worry, wifey.” words muffled into your cunt, “Your husband’s gonna take care of you.” He’s throwing your legs over his broad shoulders.

“Real good care of you.” Then he’s plunging knuckle-deep in your plushy pussy, the tips of his long fingers massaging your plushy walls. Messy enough that your slick is trailing down his wrist. Roaming for that one spot he knows will have you moaning deliciously. Pressing down, hard.  “Found it. Gonna have you screamin’ my name til’ the entire estate hears.”

You tug on his hair, urging Satoru’s mouth towards your cunt - partially because you wanted him there, partially because you really needed him to shut up right now. 

And shit how could he ever say no to his pretty wife?

Satoru is grinning, you can feel it on your throbbing clit as he wraps his pretty pink lips around it. Pumping his fingers in and out, hitting that little spot each and every time. Looking like he was absolutely in heaven as he rolls and swirls his tongue against your clit over and over and-

“Sh-shit. Toru-”

“Mmm, yes- fuck, love it when you call me that.” he groans. And oh he’s looking at you like he wants to devour you - eyes half-lidded, such a pretty blush disting his cheeks - and making out with your pussy just as much. Tilting his head back, back, back so that your juices slide down his throat. “Feels good? Ya like when m’ruining your pretty pussy?”

“Yes!” you squirm. Shaking, bucking your hips into his touch so desperately. “Wanted it s’bad.” 

He’s becoming frenzied now, drinking in your cute little whimpers like he was addicted. But it wasn’t enough - it never was and fuck Satoru wanted more more more-

“Move your hips, yeah- jus’ like that.” Satoru’s grunting and smacking his lips against your own. Letting you pull and angle him just as you please. 

“Gonna be the best fuckin’ husband you’ll ever have. N’ anyone that says otherwise, m’gonna fuckin’ kill.” The vibrations have your body jerking violently. “Make you cum harder than y’ever have. C’mon, say yes.”

And with that, he’s alternating between lapping at your clit and bullying his tongue through your swollen folds. Stretching you, thrusting in and out of your sloppy hole. Jaw grinding deeper into you as he eats you out like his last meal. “Ngh- fuck, yes yes yes-”

“Beg for it, beg for your husband.”

“Wanna cum- Ah! Please, wanna cum, Toru.”

One hand so messy toying with your dripping entrance - not having the patience or the sanity to even draw circles anymore. Just quick, hurried patterns to get you off. The other digging into your hips, so hard you were sure it’d leave marks for tomorrow. Making you drag your sloppy pussy senselessly all over his mouth. Using him. 

“Hngh- Toru! Ah- fuck fuck Toru Toru T-”  You’re shaking - crying out as you cum. A guttural, strangled moan of your husband’s name. So violent, and hard that you don’t even realize at first. Just that you’re rocking your hips into Satoru, white-hot pleasure behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears.

And he doesn’t stop - not even once. If you were in any better state of mind you’d wonder whether it hurt - whether his fingers were cramping up, and his tongue was tired. If they were, he didn’t show, only letting you chase your high as roughly as you want. 

Greedily lapping up all your juices. Even when you’re blinking your vision back, chest heaving as you try to regain our breath. “S-Satoru.” you mewl, stars behind your eyes with each flick of his tongue. 

“Jus’ a bit more. Wanna taste all of you.”

You weren’t going to make it out alive.

Big, fat tears pricking at your eyes from the overstimulation as Satoru finally rises from what you almost worried would be his favorite seat. “All done. Now, keep that pretty lil’ cunt on display f’me, my girl.”

And your cunt is clenching in- fear? Anticipation? As your husband finally unties his yukata, letting it slide off those milky, toned shoulders. And shit he was such a fucking masterpiece. The dim-lighting bouncing off every curve and dip of those carved abs. Delicate swirls of his tattoo inching from his collarbone, down, down, down, hugging Satoru in a way that made you so half-lucidly jealous. All the way till the last inky thorn meets the neat tufts of white hair peeking up from the hem of his underwear. 

“Touch me.” he groans into your ear. The words barely leave those pretty lips before your hands are everywhere. Dancing down his tattoo, groping at this pecs - too much to worship, not enough time. 

“Toru…” you trail off, hand reaching out to brush his waistband. Tugging just enough that his throbbing cock springs out, hitting his sculpted abdomen. Red, and so so angry, fat tip weeping down his length, already so soaked in precum. He was so intimidatingly long - longer than anyone else you’d had before. Thick enough that you wondered whether you’d hurt yourself. 

And he sees right through you.

“Now now, none of that.” he tuts, pushing your bare thighs as far apart as they’d go. He spreads your cunt so shamefully with his thumb. Spitting once, twice. Some of it splatter against your thigh as Satoru mixes his saliva with your slick. “Don’t worry, wifey, m’gonna make it feel good for ya.”

You flinch as he uses you like some object. Dangerously liking it more and more as he drags his fat head down your folds. Wetting himself, all the preparation he was going to give you because fuck Satoru needed to be inside your pretty lil’ pussy right now. 

Then you feel like you’re being split apart - as if Satoru’s cock was pushing all the way to your lungs as he presses through the first ring of muscle.

“Ah! Ngh- Toru, s’too big!” you yelp, eyes locked on the way your lips were stretched so lewdly around his tip. Clamping and quivering as he keeps pushing in, inch by fucking inch. No mercy. Absolutely none at all. 

And while he sounded like he was on cloud nine, you were having your head spin, torn between wanting to run away from his massive cock and just push yourself down for more more more. His lips claim yours - absolutely animalistic because God he needed to shut up your pretty whines or else Satoru was going to cum right here right now.

“Breathe, sweetheart, breath. Ngh- You can take it.” Satoru pants into your mouth, fucking into you in mindless, shallow little thrusts just to fit inside your snug cunt. Sounding like he was losing his sanity each time your heavenly walls milked him. “So fuckin’ tight. Jus’ relax f’me. Oh yeah, jus’ like that. You can take it you can-”

You gasp for air when he finally bottoms out inside you, tears streaming down your face and clawing at his back. 

Satoru only coos, letting you mark him up all you want. Pace increasing relentlessly, “Aww, my good lil’ wife. Taking me so well, huh?” Starting to rock his hips just a bit faster into yours, “Always knew y’would.” 

“Can y’feel me, right-.” Balls smacking against your ass, his finger tracing an invisible line halfway down your tummy. “-here?” Thumb stroking where he could feel himself bulging inside you, pressing down. Hard. 

You almost sob at the pressure, jolting - you should’ve expected that the yakuza boss would fuck so mean.

And shit you can just do nothing but take it, hips jerking wildly as Satoru pounds into you with reckless abandon. Clutching at his shoulders, the sheets, his hair - just anything. 

“C’mon~ Don’t run away from me,” he grunts, strained like he’s struggling to maintain restraint. Lacing his fingers on top of your head to slide you impossibly deeper onto his cock. “Jus’ fuckin’ got you, so don’t you dare run away.”

You can only nod. Eyes glazed, cockdrunk and letting him thrust so sloppily. “Won’t run away Toru…” you babble, “Wan’ you to make me yours.”

“Mine? Gonna be all mine?”

“All yours, Toru.”

And maybe you were an idiot, maybe you were a mastermind - because with a choked out little moan of what sounded like your name, Satoru’s pulling you both to sit up. The gravity makes you bury his cock deeper and faster into your tight pussy.

With the new angle, your husband’s hitting all the right spots easily, almost as if he knew your body better than you did. Veins rubbing so deliciously against your walls, shifting around your hips to fuck up into that poor, abused spot. 

“Ya like this, huh?” he groans, fingers now toying with your ravaged clit. Rolling it around harshly between two fingers. “Always knew this cute pussy could take me s’well. Just didn’t know it would feel this fucking heavenly.”

Faster, sloppier. Bouncing you on his rock-hard cock  like he was claiming you from the inside. So, so desperate and debauched.

And exactly where you wanted to be. 

You leave delicate pink bites down this pale neck, alongside those roses - marking him in your own way as you edge closer and closer. It was too much. Everything was too much. 

“Toru-” you sob. And he already knew what that meant. With how your voice breaks so adorably and the way you’re clenching around him hard enough that it’s almost difficult to ruin that cute pussy. 

“Close?” 

“Mhm…”

“Well then.” thrusts getting sloppy, with no reason or rhythm now. Grip on your body tightening like a vice. “Cum f’me like a good lil’ wife, then.”

And that makes you throw your head back in ecstasy - it makes you cum. Thighs quivering, jolts of electricity running down all the way from your overstimulated cunt to your hazy mind. It has you chanting Satoru’s name like a lifeline while his teeth dig into your flesh. Hard enough that you distinctly wondered whether he was out for blood.

Letting out low, muffled moans into your neck while he cums as well. Hot ropes of seed filling up your poor, bloated pussy, painting your walls such a sinful white. Cumming and cumming so hard you wondered whether you’d make it out alive.

And because of the obscene position, you could feel the way it dribbled down your legs. Thick globs landing in a pool on the overpriced sheets below, smearing so lewdly between you two. Hips still fucking up into you - not even thinking about it as he pushes his seed deeper and deeper. 

You managed to raise your eyes, still dazed to meet his - exhausted, and dark with lust and something else that you really weren’t in the right mind to decipher right now. 

And then Satoru’s lips find yours again, biting and tugging lazily. Tasting so unfairly of candy and sweet, sweet trouble. Body melting into you like all the worries have been lifted from his shoulders. He’s looping his arms tighter around your waist, crushing you into an almost-painful hug against him. 

Something soft. Something new. Something that makes a little part of your heart twinge to break the kiss and pull away mere millimeters. “We better not divorce after this.”

“Of course not.” He chuckles into your lips, resting his forehead against yours like he was trying to map the constellations in your eyes. “I haven’t even given you my wedding gift yet.”

Smirking, you lock your legs tighter around Satoru’s toned waist as he lets the two of you fall back into the mattress. Sinking into it - and each other - with both exhaustion and something of a quiet, unspoken little fondness. Batting your lashes up at him, “Mhm, I remember someone talking about giving me four mercedes as a wedding gift and I’m leaving if not.”

“Well then, better get to it. Four for my in-laws to get on their good side, too,” he nuzzles the bite mark on your neck. “Because I plan to stay like this for a long, long time.”

A/N. Plagiarism not authorized.

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 830: Dead Moon In The Graveyard

I've been on tour for what feels like the majority of 2024. And while I love playing shows, I find that my appetite for new music tends to wane when I'm on the road for too long. Something similar happened around 2018 after touring the US six times and Europe five times in the span of two years. I feel like part of being a musician is staying curious about music from the past and engaged with the music of the present, but sometimes you just get worn out and wanna reach for old favorites.

So I pulled out In The Graveyard today. I'll admit, my love for Dead Moon has really only blossomed in the last half decade, but they've been in my orbit since I was a teenager after a local music newspaper had them on the cover with the tag line "Is Dead Moon The Last True DIY Band?" After all, not only did they release their own records, they also recorded them, designed the covers, AND cut the vinyl lathes.

But Dead Moon were also a bit mysterious to me as a teenager. They didn't play many (if any) all ages shows in the area despite being a Northwest band. They seemed to belong to an older generation. They had long hair and a Jack Daniels bottle with melted candle wax adhered to their kick drum and that skull moon logo---it all made me assume they were some old school proto-metal band. But they also seemed to belong to the garage rock world at a time when MRR was leaning into old fashioned rock n' roll and weeding out all the more interesting and boundary-pushing stuff in the punk world. Again, I assumed it wasn't for me.

But I grew up and my horizons expanded. I don't remember when I first consciously heard Dead Moon, though I remember catching one of their final shows in Portland back in 2006 and being sorta surprised by how scrappy and primitive they came across. It was like they were some long lost collaboration between Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Stooges. Even then, it felt like I'd missed the boat. This was a band, I assumed, whose charm resided in hearing them at the right time and place.

And then sometime around 2020 I actually sat down with In The Graveyard and had this weird realization that I knew all these songs. I'd been hearing them for years. The bartenders at the Cha Cha Lounge would play it all the time. The record store clerks at Fallout Records or Singles Going Steady would play it in the shop while I was browsing their bins. It would be on the PA between bands at local shows. I may not have been listening to Dead Moon for the past quarter century, but I'd been hearing them regularly throughout that time.

So now Dead Moon has this magic where it's both pleasantly familiar but also strangely new to me. It sounds like being in my 20s and 30s in Seattle, but I haven't exhausted myself on it like so many of the records I had on rotation in my life back then.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group E Round 3: #E3 vs #E1

#E3: Sending us penguins will NOT fix our terminally ill sister, but thanks anyways.

#E1: Forcefully mixing the old and the new. Hilarity and disaster ensues.

Details and poll under the cut!

*Text in green indicates that something has been changed.

#E3: Mawaru Penguindrum

Summary:

For the Takakura family, destiny is an ever-spinning wheel, pointing passionately in their direction with equal tides of joy and sorrow before ticking on to the next wishmaker. With their parents gone, twin brothers Kanba and Shouma live alone with their beloved little sister Himari, whose poor health cannot decline any further.

On the day Himari is given permission to temporarily leave the hospital, her brothers take her out to the aquarium to celebrate, where the family's supposed fate is brought forth with her sudden collapse. However, when Himari is inexplicably revived by a penguin hat from the aquarium's souvenir shop, the hand of fate continues to tick faithfully forward.

With her miraculous recovery, though, comes a cost: there is a new entity within her body, whose condition for keeping her fate at bay sends the boys on a wild goose chase for the mysterious "Penguin Drum." In their search, the boys will have to follow the threads of fate leading from their own shocking past and into the lives of other wishmakers vying for the Penguin Drum, all hoping to land upon their chosen destiny.

Propaganda:

Do you like weird artsy stuff? Do you love magical girls? How about weird, messed up character dynamics? Then boy oh boy, Mawaru Penguindrum is the show for you! The show starts out funny enough, but will quickly spiral into an intense and intricate plot, involving fate, the mafia, magical destiny-rewriting spells, and penguins. Which yes, before you ask, the funny penguins are in fact plot relevant.

Penguindrum isn’t really a show about all that stuff though, even though it is. It’s a very symbolic story, about living under the crushing heel of capitalism, and the quiet poison of the societally expected nuclear family dynamic. I could write an essay on each and every single one of the characters, as they’re all given a lot of depth and time to grow. Every character has their own baggage that, one way or another, ties back to someone else. Everyone in this show is connected in some way shape or form, and that’s really highlighted when everything starts to fall apart. Be warned: this show is NOT a light watch! If you’re the type of person who gets really into deciphering symbolism and creating your own meaning from pieces of media, then this show is for you!

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Flashing Lights/Flickering Images, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Guns, Incest, Kidnapping, Nudity, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-Con, Smoking, Suicide, Bomb Threats/Attempts and Terrorisim

It’s a very major plot point. This show is HEAVILY based off the 95 Tokyo Sarin Gas Attacks, so if content like that is triggering to you, tread lightly.

#E1: Are You Ok (You Yao)

Summary:

People from the modern world transmigrating into the ancient Chinese fantasy world has become a common and everyday occurrence that the royal court in the latter has decided to moderate them. If you’re a transmigrator, you must report your existence to Lou Zhu, the master of Best Tower. Once you pass his test and prove that you are indeed a modern person, you can then be assigned to work in different areas of the government and be given a high salary.

Because of this promised benefit, many impostors have showed up before Lou Zhu. And one day, Zuo Yunqi takes this test as well. Is he an impostor, or is he an actual modern person?

But some transmigrators also choose to hide their existence out of distrust in the government. Where are they? And with their advanced knowledge on science and technology, what are they planning in the dark?

Elsewhere, other transmigrators find themselves in all sorts of situations—an art student is detained and forced to come up with a recipe for a poisonous meal, while another is stuck sharing a body with the original soul and fighting for its control. Meanwhile, unrest rises in the Jianghu and a storm brews in the palace. Can our transmigrators’ modern knowledge save the day? Or will their lack of understanding in the current world lead to their downfall?

Propaganda:

Often in transmigration stories, the locals are portrayed as “backward” and “ignorant” to make the modern characters seem intelligent and progressive. The latter are then hailed as geniuses or pioneers, but in You Yao this isn’t the case. 

You Yao deconstructs the transmigration genre and explores its possibilities. The system that moderates the transmigrators really puts them in their place and curbs their arrogance. And when in Rome, do as the Romans do. No matter how “smart” they may be, they are still subjects of the Emperor.

Besides, modern knowledge doesn’t always prove to be useful. An educated man like Lou Zhu is considered illiterate because he cannot read Traditional Chinese. His assistant has to first translate them into Simplified 😂

Moreover, this world they’re in has elements of wuxia (martial arts with superpowers). How can a modern person who grew up in a safe environment protect oneself in such a setting? They can only ask the locals to protect them. 

So, transmigrators are not necessarily superior to the locals—which I like because it lets us look at the locals’ strengths and appreciate them as well. 

You Yao features an ensemble cast, by the way, and all of them, both locals and transmigrators, are endearing. There are also several canon BL couples, with each pair marking the different sub-plots of the show. Just don’t expect any explicit gay confirmation because it’s limited by Chinese censorship, after all. But even then, it managed to be as fruity as it could be (the S1 ED is literally an angsty love song about the second gay pairing).

In regard to setting, it’s a genius mix of ancient Chinese fantasy and modern technology. Best Tower looks like a traditional Chinese pagoda on the outside, but on the inside it’s like a mall, complete with different entertainment venues and even a milk tea shop! It even has an “elevator,” but since electricity hasn’t been invented yet, it’s just powered by different men (in fancy uniforms) on bicycles. 

You Yao is really creative in presenting what could happen when you forcefully mix the old and the new. This allows a lot of hilarious situations, but it also highlights the dichotomy of tradition and modernity, making viewers question which changes are actually good and bad.

Can the Emperor really be that benevolent when plenty of people with knowledge beyond his keep popping up? And how can all transmigrators be content in following this world’s backward laws? What happens when one side tries to dominate and eradicate the other?

You Yao may give off that silly sitcom vibe, but it’s actually so much more than that. I don’t wanna spoil anything, so all I can say is that it’s gonna make you laugh a lot, and once your guard is lowered it’s gonna sucker-punch you in the gut. Vote You Yao.

Trigger warnings: Guns, kidnapping, and imprisonment. Nothing too dark, though.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[callme-harris]

closed for @dxnielibxrra​

location: Tidal Wave Music

Harris had been trying to get back into music again. He had sort of shut himself out from the thing’s he loved after his accident and now that he was drumming again, he really wanted to get more inspired again. It was easier said than done, because music was so vast and varied that he literally could pick a corner and find something worth looking at. As he walked around the store a few of the titles really stuck out to him immediately and he began to grab a stack a vinyl records. Even if he didn’t find inspiration, his collection was lacking and he needed to revive it. It was most of the older drummers that he found the best, but he was always open to hearing other opinions. “ Who would you say was the best modern drummer?” Harris asked looking over to Daniel, who he knew had owned the shop despite not being in that often. 

[denimbex1986]

'It was not too long ago that the future of cinemas looked decidedly grim.

Empire Cinemas fell into administration in early July, as the lingering effects of Covid allied to the cost of living crisis took its toll on the company.

Six Empire cinemas were closed immediately with the loss of 150 jobs, while the future of a further seven, including one in Clydebank, remain in the balance, as they continue to trade and administrators at BDO strive to find a buyer. The company had employed 437 people in total before the failure.

Around the same time, the much bigger Cineworld Group, similarly blighted by the fall-out from Covid, was completing a long-running financial restructuring process which formally ended on August 1, when it exited Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the US.

Cineworld emerged with lower debt and a new management team, its assets having transferred to a new company, though the process resulted in heavy losses for investors.

Throughout the bankruptcy process, business carried on as usual at all the Cineworld outlets, including those trading under the Regal, Cinema City, Picturehouse and Planet brands.

Now, thanks to some of the biggest releases in living memory, many of those theatres will be enjoying their best summers in years.

Cinemas were one of the biggest business victims of the pandemic, as restrictions forced the closure of multiplexes and independents for long spells and the production of films was severely hampered, curbing the flow of new releases.

This year, however, the industry is back with a bang, aided in no small measure by a sequence of summer blockbusters which have attracted audiences in their droves.

Two hotly anticipated movies have been crucial to the revival.

Barbie, a story based on the Mattel doll starring Margot Robbie and directed by Greta Gerwig, hit the billion-dollar mark in gross takings this week, just 17 days after its release, Warner Bros Pictures announced, following one of the biggest marketing campaigns seen for a film in years.

Released on the same day as Barbie was Oppenheimer, the latest epic from director Christopher Nolan, which charts US efforts to develop the atomic bomb as the Second World War drew to a close through the story of physicist J Robert Oppenheimer.

While Oppenheimer has not scaled the same financial heights as Barbie, it had still grossed more than $500m in ticket sales by this week.

Both films have drawn huge audiences in the UK, with Barbie generating sales of £18.5m and Oppenheimer £10.9m on their opening weekend, according to figures compiled by the British Film Institute, and are continuing to pack them in.

But “Barbenheimer”, as the two films have been collectively termed owing to their simultaneous release date, have not been the only shows in town this summer.

Prior to their arrival in theatres, UK cinemas have also been able to drum up millions of pounds in ticket sales from Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, which is likely to be Harrison Ford’s final outing as the titular archaeologist-come-adventurer.

And there is more to come, with Martin Scorsese’s Killers of the Flower Moon, Dune: Part Two, The Marvels, and The Creator still to come before the year is out.

A recent visit to my local multiplex as various family members took in Barbenheimer underlined the impact which this summer’s big releases have had. People were milling about the foyer in what looked to be unprecedented numbers, which was no doubt great for sales of popcorn and hot dogs.

But the cinemas are not the only businesses which seem to be benefiting from this big summer of film. As we walked through the mall on our way from the car park to the theatre, it was abundantly clear that restaurants, cafes, and shops were doing well too.

With kids off school for the summer, many parents have no doubt been taking their children (Barbie is rated 12A by the British Board of Film Classification) to the cinema over recent weeks to keep them occupied.

David Pierotti, general manager for the Silverburn shopping and leisure mall in Glasgow, said this summer had been a “standout” for the destination, with the “temperamental Scottish weather” playing its part as footfall and sales have risen by 22% and 11% compared with the same period last year.

And he is in no doubt the release of the summer blockbusters has helped.

Mr Pierotti told The Herald: “We are in no doubt that the release of Barbie and Oppenheimer have been massive hits – we believe our Cineworld has enjoyed one of its best months yet which, given the global success of the films, is no surprise and this has also encouraged spend in our other stores and restaurants.”

Of course, going to the cinema is far from cheap so, at a time when inflation is still rampant and interest rates are continuing to rise, businesses will have been encouraged that consumers are showing resilience by going to the movies and visiting restaurants as part of the experience.

How this will all pan out in the longer term is difficult to forecast. The summer holidays will end soon, and the next slate of big movies is unlikely to match the broad appeal of Barbie and Oppenheimer, meaning there will be perhaps less impetus for people to visit their local multiplex.

Cost of living pressures and high interest rates are not going away, and when Christmas eventually comes into view for parents in the autumn, many families will have other things to spend their diminishing disposable income on than trips to the pictures.

Moreover, there is another danger lurking in the wings for the cinema industry.

Ongoing industrial action by actors and screenwriters in the US, who are in dispute with studios over pay and safeguards around artificial intelligence, has disrupted production activity, sparking concerns that the release of films and television shows will be delayed. It was recently reported in the US that Warner Bros may seek to delay the release of Dune: Part 2 until 2024 to ensure its stars, including Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya, will be available to promote the movie on its release.

Film buffs here will be keeping a close eye on developments. In the meantime, cinemas will be hoping the magic of Barbenheimer is just the start of a great theatrical revival.'

[cyarskaren52]

In 1998, the mainstream Hip-Hop landscape was dominated by No Limit soldiers, Bad Boys, and Wu-Tang killer bees. There was a preoccupiation with floss and, in the wake of the high-profile murders of 2Pac and the Notorious B.I.G., the industry seemed to want to shine as much as possible. Understandable — but out of Yonkers, N.Y., there came a crew. 

With a production wizard, a brash beauty, a trio bred from the streets, and a tortured superstar who was taking the rap game by storm, the Ruff Ryders put the streets squarely on the late 90s pop charts. In doing so, they helped usher in the new millennium of East Coast hardcore: grimy enough for the hood; polished enough for the charts. They owned the streets and the radio. 

Here's 25 of their best bangers.

#26

"JENNY FROM THE BLOCK" - JENNIFER LOPEZ FEAT. JADAKISS, STYLES P [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! J. Lo got to reconnect with some of that Uptown swag and Yonkers connection when she hooked up w/two-thirds of the LOX. 

#25

"THEY AIN'T READY" - RUFF RYDERS W/JADAKISS, TIMBALAND, BUBBA SPARXXX

They crew from Yonkers made it clear that they had love for that Dirty South swag. VA superproducer Timbaland laced the track, which also features Athens, GA's own: Bubba Sparxxx. 

#24

"WW III" - RUFF RYDERS W/SNOOP DOGG, YUNG WUN, SCARFACE, JADAKISS

Swizz Beatz pulled together a who's-who of legendary emcees for this track from RYDE OR DIE VOL. 2. The song also served as the album opener for the hit compilation.

#23

"NIGGAZ DIE 4 ME" - DRAG-ON FEAT. DMX

X was Ruff Ryders' biggest star, and he had underrated chemistry with the young gun from The Bronx. The lead single from Drag-On's gold-selling 2000 debut album, OPPOSITE OF H2O, is one of the best from Y2K. 

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#22

"WHO'S THAT GIRL" - EVE

The single from Eve’s sophomore album, SCORPION, is one of her most memorable, mostly due to the catchy hook. She’s clearing up any confusion about who she is as a woman and what she brings to the table artistically, carving out space to shine completely on her own.

#21

"KNOCK YOURSELF OUT" - JADAKISS

Never sleep on Jada's ability to craft radio tracks. From his solo debut KISS THA GAME GOODBYE, Jada's second single wasn't a Swizz beat; it was actually produced by The Neptunes. 

#20

"GOT IT ALL" RUFF RYDERS W/EVE AND JADAKISS

Jada and Eve pull off the classic "Battle of the Sexes" with this stellar back-and-forth over a steel drum-driven beat from Teflon. Released a single from Ryde Or Die, Vol. 2, it revived a classic pop music formula (seriously, everybody from Otis Redding and Carla Thomas to Ice Cube and Yo-Yo have done it) for the hardcore bling era.

#19

"WHO WE BE" - DMX

The surging beat is one of the most anthemic X ever rhymed over, and his aggression belies a tour-de-force performance that caps the tail end of DMX's most classic run. The kiddie chorus is the right kind of foreboding:  both a warning and a call-to-arms. 

#18

"MY NAME IS KISS" - JADAKISS

Kiss and The LOX had been well-established by the time he released this declaration of self. It's a showcase for his particular brand of pensive street rap and lyricism, a pronouncement more than an announcement. And proof positive that Kiss has a lane all his own. 

#17

"WHAT'S MY NAME" - DMX

By 1999, the whole world knew who this guy was. But X's hunger was still palatable in every single. Even as the vids got glossier and the collabos got Sisqo-ier, X managed to bring grittiness to hip-hop's surging mainstream over a skittering backdrop by Irv Gotti & Co.

#16

"LET ME BLOW YA MIND" - EVE FEAT. GWEN STEFANI

She'd begun her career on Dr. Dre's Aftermath, but we didn't really get to hear what E-V-E could do with the Good Doctor (and Scott Storch) until this monster hit from the early 00s. Paired with soon-to-be-solo superstar Gwen Stefani, the Philly rhymer delivered a bouncy single that still seems to capture the best of its era.

#15

"SLIPPIN'" - DMX

One of the best examples of DMX's tortured brilliance, the autumnal sadness of this classic perfectly conveys the hopelessness and vulnerability in X's verses. He's an artist who came to embody "write your pain," and this single from his second album is proof positive that few wore angst better.

#14

"LOVE IS BLIND" - EVE

An examination of domestic violence that lingers long after that first listen, Eve's heartfelt single was dedicated to her high school best friend. The Ruff Ryders' First Lady struck back for victims everywhere — and struck a chord with anyone who'd endured, known someone who'd survived, or had lost someone to the pain of abuse.

#13

"WHAT THEY REALLY WANT" - DMX FEAT. SISQÓ

DMX was on quite the singles run, Sisqó was at his post-"Thong Song" peak and over a slinky beat that could only come from Nokio, X rattles off his frustrations as a gruff ladies' man. The infamous name-dropping of "Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia..." made it one of the most quotable tracks in X's oeuvre and birthed a viral internet challenge almost 20 years after its release.

#12

"GOOD TIMES (I GET HIGH)" - STYLES P

Swizz's inspired flip of Freda Payne is the perfect backdrop for Styles P's ode to herbal refreshment. The hit leadoff single from his A GANGSTER AND A GENTLEMAN album, the track was close to inescapable in 2002; turning up everywhere from Swizz's own compilation to the Kevin Hart comedy SOUL PLANE.

#11

"STOP BEING GREEDY" - DMX

It sounded like a warning, issued from a newcomer ready to take on the flossy chart-toppers dominating the rap game. DMX had a few major hits under his arm when he unleashed this anthem, letting everybody know, regardless of where you stood in hip-hop's hierarchy, you were going to have to contend with the dark rhymer's hunger. 

#10

"WHY" - JADAKISS

Over soulful production from Mobb Deep's Havoc, Jadakiss poses the hood's hardest questions. It proved to be one of his most resonate tracks, and it's not hard to see why. Referencing everything from the prison industrial complex to the early 2002 Oscar race, it became a smash hit in the summer of 2004, skyrocketing all the way to No. 11 on the Billboard Hot 100. 

#9

"JIGGA MY NIGGA" - RUFF RYDERS W/JAY-Z

NYC-based rap labels were enjoying a friendly competition in the commercially lucrative late 90s. Roc-A-Fella and Ruff Ryders were two of the hottest brands in Hip-Hop. Jay-Z and Roc-A-Fella understood how to walk the balance between ballerific raps and street grit. Hov pairing with Ruff Ryders made all the sense in the world circa 1998. 

#8

"RIDE OR DIE BYTCH" - THE LOX W/EVE AND TIMBALAND

It became a phrase that defined Bonnie & Clyde-esque solidarity for a generation. And it was the single that announced The LOX's second act, as the street rap trio had landed on Ruff Ryders after a highly-publicized departure from Puff Daddy's Bad Boy Records. The Timbo-produced track made it clear the trio from Yonkers could craft radio hits and keep it street. 

#7

"WE GONNA MAKE IT" - JADAKISS FEAT. EVE AND STYLES P

An epic single that served as the first solo hit from Jadakiss, this street anthem (has any song ever epitomized that phrase better?) is one of the best in Ruff Ryders' enviable oeuvre. Alchemist laced Kiss with one of his most inspired beats, and Jadakiss delivers as only he can: the kind of rabble-rousing call to arms that resonated on many a corner.  

#6

"GOTTA MAN" - EVE

There had been odes to thug love before, but none had managed to be so cute, so sweet and so street — all at the same time. Eve's brand of everygirl relatability was unique in the high glamour late 90s, but make no mistake — nobody could blend swagger and sex appeal like the Ruff Ryders First Lady. The kind of song that made many a thug wish they had this sorta girl by their side.

#5

"GO HEAD" - THE LOX

Sometimes you just know an artist is in their element, and just enjoy watching them work. The LOX were, in many ways, the soul of Ruff Ryders. The grimy street tales from the Yonkers trio were always a better fit for Ruff Ryders than Bad Boy, and Sheek Louch, Styles P and Jadakiss do what they do best on this melancholy masterwork from TJ Beatz.

#4

"DOWN BOTTOM" - RUFF RYDERS W/DRAG-ON, SWIZZ BEATZ, AND JUVENILE

Proof positive that nobody does synth-driven fanfare better than Swizz, this epic single gave Drag-On a huge boost leading into his solo career and was one of the few late 90s East Coast/Dirty South collaborations that didn't’ feel forced or awkward. Juvie repped for NOLA’s Cash Money and, circa 1999, this was the two hottest new labels in the rap game joining forces.

#3

"GET AT ME DOG" - DMX FEAT. SHEEK LOUCH

Everybody knew Dark Man X was coming. He’d been making noise via underground performances and several star-making appearances on hit singles by Ma$e and LL COOL J for almost two years. But his first major label single dropped like a grimy bomb in a landscape littered with shiny suits. With his first hit, X made it clear who he was, and also made it clear that the game wasn’t going to drown in jigginess as we raced towards Y2K.

#2

"WHAT Y'ALL WANT" - EVE FEAT. NOKIO OF DRU HILL

She finally had her moment. The "Illest Pitbull In A Skirt" had been waiting in the wings for almost three years, but it was this catchy, salsa-inflected single from the RYDE OR DIE, VOL. 1 compilation that not only let the world know the Philly firebrand had arrived, but made it clear the RR was taking over the radio.

#1

"RUFF RYDERS ANTHEM" - DMX

Could there be any doubt? The song that all but announced the genius of Swizz Beatz, its an anthem in every sense: instantly memorable; a call to arms for the crew; and a song that transcends its time and era. It's the label's theme song, and captures a moment in time that feels immediate and fresh every time you hear that infectious chorus -- but it never feels stuck in 1998. It's a street rap masterpiece. And to think, X didn’t even like the beat when he first heard it

Sent from my iPhone

[lostgenres]

History of Frog Rock

The initial spark for Frog Rock lit in 2005 when childhood best friends Theo Eustis and Lilac Glazier met in a coffee shop in Portland. Theo writes in his memoir, Before We Croak: 

Lilac was wearing her tie dye t-shirt, with a giant frog in the center giving a peace sign. I was wearing a Nirvana shirt that I had spray-painted a giant X on. We had been playing together in some crappy alt-rock outfit, and we both hated it. The rock ethos of the time,  the self-flagellation, moaning “rape me before I kill myself” or whatever, just seemed pointless. Why can’t you rock out and have fun? We were talking about this, getting more and more frustrated, and all of a sudden I stopped, looked at her shirt, looked at her, and said “I’ve got it. Frog rock”. And that’s how it started.

The pair joined up with drummer Kylie Swift and keyboardist Ben Beckham. They called themselves Ribbit, and quickly developed an aesthetic- and a cult following- centered around bright colors, crazy stunts, and a free-for-all attitude. Their first concert was in the middle of  a performance by the Portland Circus, in which the band snuck backstage, ran on stage carrying instruments and pushing a drum set on a trolley, got quickly set up, and played three full songs before getting kicked off again.

Ribbit’s first album, The Ribbit Show featuring Rex the Frog, was released on June 7th, 2007, and was a minor success among college stations and internet users. The record caused a slight controversy when many parents, thinking they were buying a children's record, were shocked to hear lines such as “death metal is for punks/ and punk is for bastards/ we’re not like that, we’re Ribbit, baby/ fuck first, think after”. The scandal escalated to the band being sued for false advertising, after which they were forced to put a sticker on records saying We Are Not Actually A Children’s Band.

The Ribbit Show eventually caught the attention of two other musical misfits. One was Lynne Cason, a 19 year old from Eugene, Oregon, who was inspired to start a similar band called Amphibalicious with drummer Sid Bennet and bassist Clarence Duke. Her brand of frog rock was slightly more fine-tuned, with notes of David Bowie, Prince, and later on Nancy Wilson.

The other protogée was Portlander Ruthie Danniel. He discovered Ribbit at 18 and quickly became part of their small circle of crazed fans, the Froggies. Ruthie briefly had his own frog rock group, the Order Anura, and later started a record label called Skin Shed Records. He is credited with bringing the frog rock community together, and supposedly invented many of their traditions, such as the Frog Rock Circus, an annual music festival (named in honor of the infamous Portland Circus show), and the Frog Olympics, in which band members and fans compete in ridiculous sports such as Rock Paper Scissors Mega and Frogball, a fast-paced combination of tennis, dodgeball, and rollerblading.

The first wave of Frog Rock quieted down around the 2010s, making way for the second wave: the London Revival. Seminal records by Ribbit, Amphibalicious, Chorus of Colors, and Pipa Pipa were imported to indie stores in London, and slowly new bands started to form. The South London music venue Maniac Mansion became a hotspot for these new british Froggers, which included The London Croakers, Darwin Frog, and Poison Dart.

This time around, the ringleader is universally identified as Vincent Cobb, aka Mr. Hopp, aka the Kermit Crimelord. The young musician with bright green hair and a Bowie-esque stage presence was also the co-founder of LiliSounds, the label that pressed most of the important London Revival records.

The London Revival took the bare bones of American frog rock and added a dash of britpop and British dry humor. This is the frog rock (at this point it was always written lowercase) that, to some extent, spread around Europe: to France (Les Crapauds, Empoisonné), to the Netherlands (3eaweed, the first "frog rock boyband", and Superkwak) and even to Basque Country (Igela Izan, jauzi egin).

Nowadays we are living in the third wave of frog rock, kickstarted during the pandemic and thriving on the internet. With a glimmer of hyperpop and gen-z culture, this wave is dominated by bands like Messrs. Marsupial, Tie-Dye-Die-Time, and The Bowling Stoners. Though frog rock is now international, and more and more online, the original frog rock community still holds much weight, and events like the Frog Rock Circus and the Frog Olympics have been going strong since the very beginning.

[gabriellaamaral]

From Barista to Rockstar (Q and A Interview)

Say hello to Calvin Joss, the guy who's not just your average barista at Gloucester Crossing Starbucks. By day, he's making coffee like a pro, greeting you with a smile that could brighten the gloomiest of days. But when the sun sets, Joss's not done yet – he's the guitarist for Caspian. But let's rewind a bit. Calvin's story starts right here in New England, where he grew up in the cozy town of Ipswich, Massachusetts. Surrounded by the ocean breeze and the rocky shores, Joss fell in love with music. He found peace in the sound of the waves and the songs of the wind, and that's where his journey as a musician began.Now, picture this: you walk into Starbucks, tired and in need of a serious caffeine fix. Who do you see? Joss, of course, with his big smile and a cup of coffee that could revive the dead. But here's the thing – He's not just about making coffee. When the night falls, he's rocking out on stage with Caspian, blowing your mind with their incredible music. Joss's been part of the local music scene for over 20 years. He's played gigs at local bars and coffee shops, perfecting his skills and finding his voice among the diverse crowd of artists in New England. And let me tell you, he's the real deal. Whether he's strumming his guitar or pouring the perfect foam, Joss's all about creating moments that stick with you long after the music fades or the coffee's gone. I've always had an interest in music and what goes behind the creation of hard hitting hits such as those Caspian creates. Because for me, music isn't just a hobby – it's a way of life, a soundtrack to the ups and downs we all face. And in Joss's music, I hear a kindred spirit, a fellow wanderer on the journey through sound and soul. 

Q: How did music find its way into your life, and what led you to the band?

A: Music's been my constant companion since childhood. I dabbled in piano and flirted with the drums, but it was the guitar that stole my heart. My path to Caspian was paved with chance encounters and shared dreams. We met in the vibrant local scene of Beverly, MA, drawn together by a mutual desire to create something timeless. Being part of Caspian from the get-go has been like riding a wave of creativity and camaraderie.

Q: How does your personality influence your music?

A: I've always been someone who feels deeply, who listens more than I speak. My music is my voice – it's where I pour my hopes, fears, and dreams. In the delicate melodies and thunderous crescendos of Caspian's music, you're hearing my heart speak. It's a reflection of who I am – someone who believes in the power of connection, through both the calm and the chaos of life.

Q: What's your go-to guitar for those soul-stirring Caspian pieces?

A: I have a deep connection with my Fender Telecaster. It's got this vintage sunburst finish that looks like it's seen a hundred gigs, and honestly, it probably has. There's a warmth and clarity to it that just pierces through the densest of our soundscapes. Playing it feels like coming home.

Q: What drew you to instrumental music, and how did Caspian come to embrace this genre?

A: Well, our journey into instrumental music wasn't exactly planned. We all had diverse musical backgrounds and influences. I think what drew us to instrumental music was the freedom it offered. Without lyrics, the music itself becomes the narrative, which was incredibly appealing to us. Caspian embracing this genre was a natural progression of our collective interests converging.

Q: How does Caspian approach the songwriting and creative process?

A: We approach songwriting with an open mind. Our process is very collaborative, and we like to explore and experiment. We don’t confine ourselves to the post-rock label. Instead, we focus on creating emotional landscapes, building tension, and releasing it in a way that feels organic. Sometimes that means bringing in unconventional instruments or structures, but it’s always in service of the emotional journey we want to take the listener on.

Q: Could you talk about the other instrumentalists in Caspian and how you all mesh together?

A:  Phil's our sonic architect; he's got an ear for crafting layers upon layers of sound that can take you from the depths of despair to the heights of euphoria. Jonny brings this raw, untamed energy to our guitar work, creating textures that speak volumes. Jani, on the bass, is the glue holding our melodies and rhythms together, while Justin, behind the drums, is the heartbeat of Caspian, propelling us forward. Together, we're more than just a band; we're a brotherhood bound by sound.

Q: Speaking of influences, could you share some of the bands or artists that have inspired Caspian's sound?

A: We’ve always been inspired by a wide range of artists. Bands like Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Mogwai, and Explosions in the Sky were certainly influential in showing us the power of instrumental music. But we also draw from a broader palette, including electronic music, classical compositions, and even film scores.

Q: How does living in New England affect the music Caspian creates?

A: Being in New England has a big impact on our music. The beautiful landscapes and changing seasons really get into our heads and hearts. It's like the feeling you get when you stand by the ocean or walk through a forest. We try to capture those feelings in our music—the calm, the excitement, and everything in between. It's all about taking those moments and turning them into sound.

Q: Caspian's music has evolved significantly over the years. How would you describe this evolution?

A: Our journey's been wild, like riding a wave that keeps changing shape. When we first started, we were all about that classic post-rock vibe.  But as we grew and learned, we started branching out, trying new things, pushing boundaries. We've added electronic beats, brought in strings, even dabbled in the gentle strumming of acoustic guitars. It's like our sound went from a little rowboat to a full-on yacht, sailing through uncharted waters. But even with all these changes, the heart of our music is still the same – it's all about stirring up emotions, painting pictures without using words. So, yeah, you could say our sound has evolved, but it's all part of the adventure.

Q: Tour life must be full of highs and lows. Any memorable moments or challenges?

A: Touring is a rollercoaster of the soul. Playing under the stars in open-air festivals, feeling the collective heartbeat of the crowd – it's euphoric. Yet, it's also nights spent in cramped vans, miles from home, missing family and friends. The toughest part was stepping away for a bit to deal with personal matters. It felt like leaving a piece of myself behind. But returning to the stage, feeling the energy of the crowd, it's like being reborn.

Q: There was a period when you took a step back from touring, around 2012. Can you expand on that time and how it impacted your involvement with Caspian?

A:  In 2012, my family needed me more than ever. We were facing some challenges that required my full attention and support. It was a tough decision to step away from touring with Caspian, especially since the band is like family too. But sometimes, personal priorities take precedence.

Q: How did you manage your involvement with Caspian during that period?

A: Fortunately, I have the most understanding bandmates ever. They knew what I was going through and were incredibly supportive. Even though I couldn't hit the road with them, we stayed connected creatively. We kept writing and recording, bouncing ideas back and forth. It wasn't the same as being together in person, but it helped keep the music alive during that challenging time.

Q: What ultimately brought you back to touring with Caspian?

A: The music, without a doubt. Being away from the stage made me realize just how much I missed it. The energy of live performances, the connection with the audience, the camaraderie with the band—it's irreplaceable. Once things settled down on the family front and I felt like I could balance both aspects of my life, I knew I had to dive back into touring with Caspian. It's where I belong.

Q: For those attending your shows or discovering Caspian for the first time, what do you hope they take away from the experience?

A: Well, I hope they take away more than just memories of a killer performance. I hope they feel something deeper.  I want them to feel connected—not just to us as a band, but to each other and to themselves. Our music is like a bridge that spans across all sorts of emotions, from joy to introspection to catharsis. If someone walks away from our show feeling a little less alone in whatever they're going through, feeling a little more inspired to chase their dreams or just live life to the fullest, then we've done our job. That's what it's all about, really—creating those moments of connection and understanding that make life a little bit brighter.

[broken-clover]

Ah! The timer on this one ran out when I wasn't looking! Whoops. anyway, great job everybody! You got it right!

Still, fun to see people guess! I noticed several that were uncertain or hadn't heard of multiple of these, so I'll throw in some context for clarifying and fun's sake

1. From the GGX Volume 2 Drama CD. Apparently Axl didn't even know about it until he read it off of an item at a pawn shop and he's one of the few characters that was around when the internet existed

2. So while this one was the incorrect pick, I did slightly base it off of Dr. Paradigm, who's a sentient bird-dragon with a decent amount of sway as the leader of Ganymede Colony and for his contributions in Overture

3. The Backstory of the Nation of Zepp, who disengaged from the rest of the world as to not give up 'Black Tech' ie pre-21st century technology during the Dawn of Revival

4. Occurs in the main plot of Xrd Revelator, when the main antagonist reveals herself to the public in order to create mass despair and panic as a once-beloved public figure. The juggalo makeup doesn't really get explained though...

5. Part of Raven's backstory, after being burdened by his immortality and the obligations it brought him, he attempted to shove a metal stake through his head as a suicide attempt. By Xrd, the spike is still embedded in his head

6. During the climax of Strive's 'Another Story' Faust attempts to diffuse Delilah's out-of-control magic by summoning a massive amount of his teleportation doors, the exertion of doing so causing his abnormally gangly and stretched-out appearance during the game

7. Backstory of Kum Haehyun, who is the leading practitioner of Tuning magic and publicly appears as an old man via a mech suit (honestly just as weird in context)

8. In Ky's second branching story mode in XX Accent Core, he encounters Jam trying to drum up business for her failing restaurant. Since she finds him attractive and wants pretty boys to work as servers for her business, she offers him drugged tea, which he may or may not take depending on the player's decision

9. Sol Badguy's war-era alternate character Order-Sol, rather than using the Fireseal or any of this other more advanced weapons from later iterations, primarily uses the Junkyard Dog Mk 1, a giant rock/concrete slab that's more of a bludgeoning weapon than his later iterations' swords (though at least the Mk 2 was more justified in being incendiary and not needing a blade as much)

So I love polls of this ilk, being able to get a glimpse of other series' silly lore and bizarre occurrences, but I don't think I've seen one for Guilty Gear before, and that's a shame! So I thought it'd be fun to give it a whack. I wanna see what people think!

[feastofbeast]

The Marshmallow Ghosts: Corpse Reviver No. 3, Pt 2

Ryan of Graveface Records has been releasing a halloween record every year for the past 15 years under The Marshmallow Ghosts. This year in honor of the long running project, he has compiled every song he ever released, remixed and remastered for a beautiful 3XLP on candy corn colored vinyl. The limited to 200 deluxe box set including a Marshmallow Ghosts cereal box among many other goodies is long gone, but there are some copies of the stand alone vinyl left on his bandcamp.

I've supported this project since the beginning, and somehow even managed to get the lath cut releases that was only ever distributed to friends n family. I saw Ryan play years ago as Dreamend and with The Casket Girls, and he recognized my name when I introduced myself at the bar just from my Graveface orders over the years. Just a fantastic indie label to support, with excellent artists all around. He also opened a brick and mortar shop Graveface Records & Curiosities in Savannah, GA if you get the chance to visit.

The purpose of this triple LP is to get all the material that’s been created for MGs back into the public. Of the 15 albums, 13 of them are out of print and have been for years. But this isn’t your standard reissue, this is comprehensive. I went back to all the tapes, hard drives, etc., and pulled out every session. Since MGs releases are usually a time crunch I’ve had to sacrifice a lot of ideas/collaborations over the years because of time. So literally every single song in the early catalogue has been remixed (and remastered). Why is this important? Because typically I’d be running out of time and would end up mixing most of the material myself. I am NOT a mixing engineer so the material has never sounded like I wanted it to. But now it does! You’ll also hear vocals on songs that were instrumentals, full songs instead of snippets (some musical cues became snippets because of the collage concept and/or narration over them), drums on songs that previously only had drum machines etc. It is a comprehensive look at 15 years of my life. 

[napiersworldzero]

Summary of Session 9/22/2023

Mavi took the lead role very seriously and ended up changing and adding so much to the play, it became a musical and the entire cast had begun to hate her. However, Ten was unaware of this as a new party member, a tall, buff creature with the mask of the death god Anubis approached. Introduced himself as Dr. Boris, he explained quickly of a demonic door.

When Ten went to investigate, in the deep black market alleys, he finds that where once was shops is now empty and barren. Damaged. Glass is broken, doors caved in, dust over everything with black puddles on the floors on counters here and there. The alleyway holds a constant, unnerving hum. It sounds inhuman, the consistency inhuman. Towards the end of the route is a dilapidated store where it the front had been carved away. Inside the shop, a cold wind blows through. Each step would creak, each sound echoed. The place has been carved and blown away from a dark doorway in the center. Out of place, with scratch marks and black stains spreading from it like darkness reaching out.

They take a single step on the stairs and then comes the noise. Loud, high, irritating, and grating. It sounds like winds battling and screaming but there’s something so unworldly about it.

They move back and the sound stops until Dr. Boris throws a lit torch into the darkness, setting the building on fire. Horrible, unearthly, static-like screams fill the air for a long moment before dissipating.

Ten hurries back to the guards, warns them of the danger that has been awoken, the Hellequin, and the leader of the guards who Ten had managed to get on the good side of explains who the Hellequin is and then the party reunites.

After a moment, they return to the alleyway to inspect the guards that had investigated the place to find them all dead. Dr. Boris revives one and hears of the horrid, unknown enemy that killed them all before he runs away to receive medical attention.

The party stays in the alleyway until Mavi is kidnapped, brought to the theater with their bag of holding dumped out, showing the Orb of Transience. She is unharmed and Arlecc finds them, demanding that they explain why the ghost light is out and why they are here when they hear skittering above as the Orb hums and spins in and around itself. Arlecc quickly takes out their instrument and sings a old nursery rhyme before the Hellequin leaves. Ten tries to play the role of lead actor but then hears of what Mavi has done and promises to never return.

They leave and return to the alleyway, trying to figure out their next moves.

Down through the doorway, down a long flight of stairs, is the basement. Dark, cold. There are broken instruments and tools scattered around, spotting blacksmith's tools and artificer's kit, strange strings and used gears, tubes and melted metal. Breath mists in the air, the walls dampen all of the noise.

Deep into this room sits a bed with a deep indent of a humanoid in the fetal position.

Dr. Boris found this strange string leading to the front corners of the house, yanking them down to find wooden boxes with a strange mesh over the top. One breaks to reveal a small leather drum inside with a metal wrapped stick in the center. Rome finds that the first step was a trigger-plate that set off the screaming from the boxes.

They then decide to destroy the Orb of Transience, summoning the Hellequin who claps three times for them to wander to try to find it before rolling out Arlecc's hat, bloodied and gory. Ten senses the Hellequin appear behind them and misty steps, attacking and cutting off the braid and cutting through the fabric of the creature before it made its escape.

Watching from the dark, the Hellequin patiently waits For the haughty lofty artist, the Hellequin swiftly takes So keep the ghost light lit And keep the act contrived Whistle not behind the stage, friend, And watch for more than your reflection.

[mirandamckenni1]

Liked on YouTube: Sascha Paeth's Masters Of Ceremony "Die Just A Little" - Official Video || https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCMc7vZWuAk || Subscribe To Our Channel: https://ift.tt/o8Wdp4K | Shop our U.S. & EU webstores: https://ift.tt/ahTMR69 | From the album SIGNS OF WINGS. Buy or Stream: https://ift.tt/nbxvNkj | A limited edition, 180g, gatefold, white vinyl edition of "Signs Of Wings" available exclusively on the Frontiers EU and U.S. stores. This pressing is strictly limited to 300 copies worldwide. Fans can get a copy here, while supplies last: https://ift.tt/ahTMR69 See a behind-the-scenes video of the making of "Die Just A Little" here: https://youtu.be/I2Y6vXp_jyw #SaschaPaeth #AdrienneCowan #DieJustALittle After four or five years of discussions about a possible collaboration with Frontiers, renowned German producer, guitarist, and songwriter Sascha Paeth agreed to join forces with the Italian label and launch his new band, Masters Of Ceremony. The band's debut album is entitled "Signs Of Wings". Sascha says, “Finally, I am putting my energy into a metal project of my own. It is the sum of my experiences over the years and a bit of a revival of what I was doing in the past.” “Signs of Wings” is much more than a solo album. Sascha put together a great group of musicians including Felix Bohnke (Avantasia) on drums, André Neygenfind (Avantasia) on bass, Corvin Bahn on keyboards, and the awesome American singer Adrienne Cowan (Seven Spires). Offering a wide range of styles within the metal spectrum, from aggressive and straight foward metal songs, to more melodic and symphonic tracks, this record has a bit of everything and is certainly going to strike fans of Sascha's as one of the most inventive, complete, and exciting releases in the metal genre in 2019. As a 15 year old teenager, you might have found Paeth playing a more bluesy style, or Van Halen-meets-Accept style hard rock, but it wasn’t long before Paeth joined Heaven’s Gate, where the music was harder and heavier. This experience was where he learned to enjoy inspiration from new styles and from new collaborations. It was the start of a long journey through the music business, a journey that is far from over.... To label Sascha Paeth a multi-talented producer, engineer, musician, and songwriter might not quite cover his full set of skills and achievements. The Wolfsburg-born German multi-musician has produced countless bands including Avantasia, Kamelot, Rhapsody, Epica, and more. Having worked on, produced, and engineered over 200 albums since 1988, it’s fair to say he has a reputation for being at the forefront of shaping the European melodic power metal sound. Tracklist: 1. The Time Has Come 2. Die Just A Little 3. Radar 4. Where Would It Be 5. My Anarchy 6. Wide Awake 7. The Path 8. Sick 9. Weight Of The World 10. Bound In Vertigo 11. Signs Of Wings Line-up: Sascha Paeth: guitar Adrienne Cowan: lead-vocals André Neygenfind: bass Felix Bohnke: drums Corvin Bahn: keyboards Produced by Sascha Paeth Connect with Sascha Paeth's Masters Of Ceremony: https://ift.tt/OvKJDuj https://twitter.com/PaethSascha https://ift.tt/c5y6x1s https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmpM-LiUsB-0OtEGmTb7FoQ Follow Our Spotify Playlists: +Rock Ain't Dead http://spoti.fi/1rQz5Zm +New Breed http://spoti.fi/1Wnkke9 +AOR Forever https://ift.tt/8u6mdQq +Frontiers Classics! https://ift.tt/7D2bNxQ Connect with Frontiers: Facebook - https://ift.tt/43aLt2K Twitter - https://twitter.com/FrontiersMusic1 Instagram - https://ift.tt/9tChZ8P Website - https://ift.tt/ZHC5cpa

[freewayfarrell]

Every head shot I ever take I look a stoned metal shop teacher, who really wants you to come see him play drums in his Slade revival band. https://www.instagram.com/p/CqHoczvuXaA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group E Round 2: #E7 vs #E3

#E7: Teenage boys use empathy to solve problems for youkai

#E3: Sending us penguins will NOT fix our terminally ill sister, but thanks anyways

Details and poll under the cut!

#E7: The Morose Mononokean (Fukigen na Mononokean)

Summary:

Without realizing it, a high schooler named Ashiya Hanae shows kindness to a youkai and is subsequently possessed by it on the first day of class. The spirit clings to his shoulder, making him progressively sicker each day. After a week of collapsing on his way into school, Ashiya notices a “Help Wanted” flyer for an exorcism service in the nurse’s office. Desperate, he calls the service, only to find that it is run by his grumpy classmate.

Abeno Haruitsuki prefers youkai to humans, sleeps through class, and is the master of a sentient tea room called the Mononokean, where youkai come for help with their problems. It turns out that they’re mostly benign, and exorcising them to the Underworld is safer for them. Ashiya convinces Abeno to exorcise the spirit possessing him, but Abeno demands he work part-time for the Mononokean as repayment. Abeno’s intimate knowledge of the spirit world and Ashiya’s empathetic nature form a great contrast as they work together.

Propaganda:

The Morose Mononokean is a beautifully written and animated coming-of-age story— with youkai, which can only ever make a piece of media better. The characters, both human and youkai, are fully three-dimensional, and although there isn’t much of an overarching plot in the first season/early manga chapters, the episodic stories contribute to the growth of both Ashiya and Abeno; their juxtaposed methods of problem-solving, and the way they affect and learn from each other’s perspectives as they become closer, are very satisfying both to analyze and to experience on an emotional level. Beyond the writing, the art is outstanding as well. The designs for the youkai characters are frequently adorable, occasionally terrifying, and always quite original, brilliantly incorporating characteristics of existing creatures in novel ways. The occasional visits to the Underworld are always a visual treat, with vibrant colors and a unique animation style painting the backdrop. Both the art and the characters are delightful and moving, and the OP is a banger. As a connoisseur of urban fantasy, Fukigen na Mononokean’s focus on emotion over action has made it my all-time favorite anime in the genre.

Trigger Warnings: None.

#E3: Mawaru Penguindrum

Summary:

For the Takakura family, destiny is an ever-spinning wheel, pointing passionately in their direction with equal tides of joy and sorrow before ticking on to the next wishmaker. With their parents gone, twin brothers Kanba and Shouma live alone with their beloved little sister Himari, whose poor health cannot decline any further.

On the day Himari is given permission to temporarily leave the hospital, her brothers take her out to the aquarium to celebrate, where the family's supposed fate is brought forth with her sudden collapse. However, when Himari is inexplicably revived by a penguin hat from the aquarium's souvenir shop, the hand of fate continues to tick faithfully forward.

With her miraculous recovery, though, comes a cost: there is a new entity within her body, whose condition for keeping her fate at bay sends the boys on a wild goose chase for the mysterious "Penguin Drum." In their search, the boys will have to follow the threads of fate leading from their own shocking past and into the lives of other wishmakers vying for the Penguin Drum, all hoping to land upon their chosen destiny.

Propaganda:

Do you like weird artsy stuff? Do you love magical girls? How about weird, messed up character dynamics? Then boy oh boy, Mawaru Penguindrum is the show for you! The show starts out funny enough, but will quickly spiral into an intense and intricate plot, involving fate, the mafia, magical destiny-rewriting spells, and penguins. Which yes, before you ask, the funny penguins are in fact plot relevant.

Penguindrum isn’t really a show about all that stuff though, even though it is. It’s a very symbolic story, about living under the crushing heel of capitalism, and the quiet poison of the societally expected nuclear family dynamic. I could write an essay on each and every single one of the characters, as they’re all given a lot of depth and time to grow. Every character has their own baggage that, one way or another, ties back to someone else. Everyone in this show is connected in some way shape or form, and that’s really highlighted when everything starts to fall apart. Be warned: this show is NOT a light watch! If you’re the type of person who gets really into deciphering symbolism and creating your own meaning from pieces of media, then this show is for you!

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Flashing Lights/Flickering Images, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Guns, Incest, Kidnapping, Nudity, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-Con, Smoking, Suicide, Bomb Threats/Attempts and Terrorisim

It’s a very major plot point. This show is HEAVILY based off the 95 Tokyo Sarin Gas Attacks, so if content like that is triggering to you, tread lightly.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how they’re presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt

[muffindaddystyles]

READER WITH POTS.

Y/N was 17 when one day she went to pond for a swim with her cousin; that unfortunately the few hours later she was exposed to a news that was as painful as it was to swallow.

Y/N have POTS.

Her body felt unfamiliar to her when the mere swimming had her heartbeat spiking up inflamingly high causing her to black out against the slippery rock.

It was horror. Yeah, but something more horrific than this stupid disease was her every date yeeting away from her the moment they used to hear about it.

In her eyes. She isn’t a babe from a rom-com who has a chronic illness and a lover, she's almost normal and average with a tiny malfunction in her internal factory.

Y/N had it all control. She did! Trust me! Please?

Until, one day she was on her part-time job at this shop in her block when a cute dude with his cute marble eyes stepped inside, all the 8 eyes were on him, yes except Y/N there were 3 more employs since it’s pretty empty all the time.

Call it silly. But, Y/N was so endeared as he wiggled around the narrow aisles carelessly -- but it felt like he had his scrutiny on her and her heart thought it was the best time to go kooky over a guy and embarrass her for lifetime.

She passed out against the racks and Harry was baffled, mouth closing and opening fish like, he rushed to help her up but like a slime she was all sprawled onto the floor and her fellow workers came to rescue, gave Harry awkward smiles and pulled her from armpits like a potato sack into the staff room.

It’s been 5 years and Y/N thinks she hasn’t loved anyone with this much faith and devotion before.

On their first date he didn’t made her feel like she deserves to hangout certain group of people only, he was gentle and so respectful towards her condition. He still has the cups of peanut butter ice-cream they had after their date that night, “I read that peanuts are good f'you.” He said with a soft little smile that day and got kissed in return – because gosh! Nobody has ever done that for her ever.

He used to send over salty dry fruits and banana chips to her until the next they’d be able to meet, when cuddling he always made sure they had the perfect layers of blankets and that the heat wasn’t too high and that he isn’t squishing her too warm.

Y/N would always giggle and peck him upon seeing his fridge littered with sticky notes having the little facts about her illness.

Y/N was scared -- well not scared but bit hesitant to do anything more intimate than making out, Harry made sure she was comfortable enough to trust him to do it with him and he was the sweetest angel while making love to her.

He had it all arranged himself. Silk bedsheets so she doesn’t sweat alot, the heat was very minimum, he had a tall cold glass of water on nightstand and salty granola bars for her – all of it made her cry into his chest.

He's always such a honey.

Even now when she has it all in control (Harry has helped her alot through breathing exercises different therapies and meditation, he just wants to see his sunshine happy and healthy as ever) he’s always grabbing onto her wrist to help her stand up even she assures him with a kiss that she’s alright, he always puts a pillow under her spine and makes sure to give her breaks while having sex, to adjust back the shower temperature whenever he takes one (she had an incident and it proper frightened Harry to core).

He never forgets to tell her how proud he’s of his brave and strong-headed baby.

The only time Harry didn’t fret out and giggled continuously when they went on a fun fair and Harry won this giant, 4x bigger chunkier fluffier unicorn stuffie for Y/N and she got so overly excited and joyous that she started feeling dizzy but before the damage Harry was hugging her to himself and laying them both on the ground not caring if people stared, “You’re so cute lovie,” He pecked her hair and she just grumbled into his chest at the fact she ruined the moment for them.

To this day it’s Harry’s one of the favourite memories.

Harry was reading and she was making a little sweater for their puppy when she started feeling light-head and tingly in her limps, apparently it’s happening because she has been sitting crossed legs for too long on the floor else she has rarely gotten her episodes since she turned 22.

“Harry ..” His head perks up at the weariness of her voice and she pats the mattress, eyes fluttering close as she counts the seconds in her, “’M gonna faint don’t panic okay bubby —-,” Before that Harry’s leaving his spot and skidding closer to her and laying her in his lap, his palm against her forehead and he smooches a kiss to her lips when she blacks out smiling.

He waits for her. Like he had always for her.

Her softie of a boyfriend.

She's grateful to have him in her life and surroundings.

He towers over her to block the sunlight to not to let it hurt her and his heart revives back into his bones when she comes back to him, she raises her hand to caress his face and out of habit he brings it down to her kissing her sweat fingertips.

“Hi.” He whispers with glimmering pupils and she gives out a hoarse giggle, “Hiya me most loved pillow.” Adorable smooching noise filling in the air as he exaggerated his ‘mwah' against her drumming pulse along with ‘I love yous'

“Y'wanna go for peanut ice-cream rolls?”

“Yupppp.” Y/N could never be more in love, Harry lives in the hiccups of her heartbeats.