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averymcrgan · 2 days ago
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Buck doesn't tell Maddie about the break-up until 2 days later. he's sat at her dining room table, clutching a cup of coffee between his hands while he tells her about what happened. he doesn't look at his sister the entire time he talks, doesn't want to see the pity on her face. he ignores the tears as they slide down his cheeks, dripping down off his chin onto the sleeves of the hoodie he'd thrown on before coming over. when his story has finally run its course, they both remain quiet for a moment and Buck's thankful Jee's playing in the living room because the sounds of her talking to her dolls drown out his quiet sob when Maddie removes the cup from the death grip he has on it. she grabs on tightly to both of his hands, and it's then that Buck realizes that he's shaking. he thinks he's been shaking since Tommy walked out of his life.
it's the next evening when someone knocks on his door. Buck's heart is in his throat as he walks over to answer it, feels his stomach swoop in both relief and disappointment when he sees it's his sister and niece. Jee pushes past him into the apartment like she owns the place, and Buck watches her go before turning back to see Maddie holding up a reusable bag. "After you left, she asked if you were okay. I told her you were sad because someone you cared about wasn't going to be around anymore. So she insisted we come over so she could make you cookies." Maddie's eyes sparkle as she smiles at him then over at her daughter. "Howie always makes sugar cookies when either of us is sad. So Jee said she had to do that for you, too." The lump that's taken residence in his throat makes it impossible to speak as he takes the bag from his sister, who squeezes his arm. "Have some fun with your niece tonight. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. I'll pick her up in the morning."
and that's how Buck finds himself tossing his apron on before helping Jee-Yun into the kids' size one he keeps around just for her. they get the ingredients out of the bag, Buck pulls out his mixer, and they make a tupperware full of chocolate chip cookies and then one of sugar cookies. Jee laughs when he dabs some flour on her nose. Buck laughs when she smiles at him, face covered in melted chocolate. when everything's cleaned up and Jee's been tucked in upstairs in his bed for the night, Buck is standing in the kitchen putting the rest of the cookies away when realizes his hands are steady as he snaps the lid shut. his knees wobble, and he sits down hard on the last stool at the island, the same one Tommy sat in before he broke Buck's heart and cries the hardest he has in days.
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g1rld1ary · 7 months ago
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hi baby !! 🧡
im sick rn and ive looked alllllll over and i couldnt find anything could you write a sickfic for luke from jatp where the female!reader gets sick ? reader is his girl 😽
im doing the same prompt on my blog because im so obsessed with the idea of sickfics and im such a luke girl
so you probably wont have much trouble figuring out who sent you this later if you look it up LMFAO 😍😍
pshsshssh thank you !! 🌼🌼
sick days ; luke patterson x fem!reader
➻ synopsis: you're not feeling well, but luke is here to look after you
➻ word count: 1905
➻ content: established relationship, implied aged up to early 20ish, pet names (love, baby, my girl), tooth rotting fluff
➻ obsessed with this request!!! i've never written a sickfic before so hope this is ok!! hope ur feeling better lovey xxxx
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Your body ached. That was the only thing you could feel. Actually, that was incorrect; you also had a headache and a snotty nose and you were pretty sure your temperature could boil water. In essence, you felt awful. You’d toughed it out for as long as you could, making yourself a steaming hot tea and cozying into the sofa for the night. It wasn’t making you feel any better. So, in a last ditch effort of saving your night, you dialled your boyfriend.
You smiled as his croaky, half-asleep voice came through your phone, murmuring your name.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked, brows furrowed as you checked the time, gasping when it read 1:45am. You thought it was still closer to eleven.
“Don’t worry about it, couldn’t sleep anyway,” Luke lied and you frowned, though he couldn’t see it through the screen.
“No, it’s dumb. I’m sorry I woke you up. Night, Luke.” You moved to hang up when Luke interrupted you.
“Baby, wait! Clearly something’s bothering you. What’s up?” You smiled despite your discomfort, your boyfriend always boosting your mood without even trying.
“Nothing,” You pouted in your puddle of blankets, “Just feel sick.” You could feel Luke’s pity without him saying anything and weren’t sure whether to be indignant or grateful.
“Can you stay awake for twenty more minutes, love?”
“I guess so, why?” You asked, turning the TV back on as something to keep you from sleeping.
“I love you,” Was all he said, hanging up on you abruptly. You smiled softly to yourself, willing your eyes to stay open as you tried to focus on the sitcom in front of you.
You were just dozing off when you heard your apartment door unlocking and the brief shuffling of feet in the entryway. Your grin brightened, the familiar butterflies returning to your chest, even after months of being with Luke. The man in questioned approached you quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as you looked up at him.
“Luke, it’s 2 am, what are you doing here?” You asked despite the obvious answer, opening your shield of blankets for him to crawl onto the sofa with you. He made you wait, tipping out his reusable shopping bag onto the coffee table in front of you. There lay a pint of ice cream, tea bags, painkillers, and your favourite chocolate. Suddenly you weren’t sure if the heat on your face was fever or blush. Silently you held your arms out, and Luke dove into them with all the enthusiasm of a child, peppering your faces with all the kisses he could manage.
“Couldn’t let my girl be sick on her own,” He mumbled, nuzzling himself into the crook of your neck, eliciting a bout of giggles from you.
“My very own Prince Charming,” You grinned, pecking his temple. After a gratuitous moment of cuddling Luke peeled himself off you, taking on the role of concerned caretaker. He was quick to dart into the kitchen, turning the kettle on for your tea and grabbing a spoon for the ice cream he’d bought. Sitting himself in the vacant spot next to you he fixed his focus onto the TV.
“What are we watching?” He asked, pulling the lid off the ice cream tub for you.
“How I Met Your Mother, I’ve just reached season seven.” Luke gasped dramatically, holding his hands over his chest in faux outrage.
“You continued without me? How could you?” You laughed at his accusatory tone, shrugging your shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Lukey. You have to forgive me though, I’m sick,” You punctuated the statement with a pathetic cough, smiling as Luke easily settled down.
You watched in silence for a bit, both giggling at the stupid jokes. After a while you felt Luke looking at you seriously, but chose not to think much of it, continuing to tune in to the show. When he pulled out a thermometer, you raised an eyebrow. Luke wasn’t usually one to be so prepared, but you let him rest it on your tongue nonetheless. When it read a concerningly high number Luke frowned, silently popping the painkillers out of their packaging, feeding you with the insistence of a fed up mother hen.
“Why aren’t you a nurse?” You joked, swallowing the medication with a mouthful of melted ice cream, “Rockstar be damned.”
“Only for you, love.”
“That’s not true, I’ve seen you fretting over Reggie,” You laughed, and Luke couldn’t help but join you.
“That’s fair. You’re my favourite, though.”
“How unexpected.” You craned your neck to press a kiss to his jaw, revelling in the dumb grin that crept onto his face.
You both settled into silence, you leant into Luke’s side, his hands rubbing soft circles into your thigh. You could feel yourself drifting in and out of sleep, never quite able to stay in it for one reason or another. The blanket was too hot, you were cold without it, your head hurt. Nothing was quite right and all you wanted to do was sleep for as long as humanly possible.
“Luke?” You whispered, in case he was already asleep.
“Yes, love?” He replied, shifting his position to look down at you. You faltered for a moment, overwhelmed with the pure adoration in his eyes.
“Will you play for me?” Luke was up in a second, arranging you on the sofa. You giggled as he manhandled you, lying you down and wrapping you tightly in your blanket so you couldn’t escape. You teased him about being his captive audience as he tuned his guitar quickly, never being so grateful for his perfect pitch.
Without anymore holdups Luke began to play, plucking softly at the strings to create a melody that filled the air of your little apartment. His playing was like a siren call, pressing weights on your eyelids until you could barely stand to keep them open. You watched him while you could, admiring the way the faint light from the kitchen lamp made him look like an Adonis, his hair illuminated in gold and his features accentuated by the shadows. You couldn’t believe he was your boyfriend. Luke Patterson, heartthrob of Julie and the Phantoms was your dorky, adoring boyfriend who would make supermarket trips in the middle of the night for you. Who had your favourite ice cream memorised and your key attached to his, so he could come see you whenever he missed you (which was pretty much always).
Despite the various aches and pains that had overtaken your body, the only thing you could feel as you drifted off to sleep was the burning ball of light in your chest, a chemical mixture of joy and love and gratitude, overtaking your senses one by one until you were asleep, dreams filled of beautiful images of your boyfriend.
When you woke up the next morning, you figured out it wasn’t morning at all. Luke had evidently switched off your phone’s alarm after you’d fallen asleep, and it was well into early afternoon when you’d arisen. To his credit though, the sleep had done you some good, and you felt much less like walking death after an intense sleep.
You untangled yourself from the knit blanket, your feet wobbly on the hard wood floors. You had serious post-nap daze, and wandered through your flat looking for your boyfriend. The poorly made sheets on your actual bed told you where Luke slept last night — or this morning, more accurately — you smiled at the way he’d arranged your stuffed animals.
Stuck to the fridge under your New York City magnet was a note from Luke, explaining he had to go to rehearsal but he’d be back later to check on you. You pulled the paper off, travelling back to your room to put the note in your ‘Luke’ box, adding to the collection of notes and drawings he’d given you inconsequentially that you’d held onto.
As the afternoon ticked by you’d gotten onto your computer, figuring that although you were still ill you should try and get something productive done. You were armed with your box of tissues as you got started on an assignment you had due at the end of the week, and slipped your headphones on to get into the headspace.
You screamed as a pair of arms wrapped around you from behind, quickly dissolving into giggles as you realised it was only Luke, back from rehearsal.
“Your voice still sounds scratchy, baby, how are you feeling?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Better, promise. Tomorrow I’ll probably go to class if I get another good night’s sleep.”
“That’s my girl.” He grinned, and you felt your insides melting all over again. You closed the laptop, knowing you weren’t going to get much more done now that Luke was with you.
You spent the evening together, ordering in pizza from the place around the corner and getting slightly wine drunk as Luke told you all about his earlier rehearsal and the antics of his band. He sang you part of the new song he and Julie had written and you applauded dramatically, only stopping when you broke into a coughing fit.
“Wanna watch something?” He asked when you grew tired again, cuddling up to him like a cat.
“Barbie?” You asked hopefully, looking up at him with wide eyes. Luke sighed dramatically, but you knew he was just pretending not to like the animated movies you’d grown up on.
“Only if it’s Island Princess,” He offered and you nodded enthusiastically.
The two of you settled in for the movie night, Luke getting much more into the movie as it went on, as he always did. By the end you were singing duets — your voice considerably less pleasing than his, especially due to your illness — Luke taking on the role of the prince letting you be Ro.
As the credits rolled you felt your eyes closing again, and you felt eerily like you did as a younger girl, falling asleep on the couch after a Barbie movie. This was better though, because now you had Luke next to you. He’d taken his role as big spoon extremely seriously, and had all but become one with the couch, pressing into the back as he wrapped his arms around you tightly.
You shifted your position to face him, watching his face relax into contentedness as he tried to doze off to sleep. Feeling you watch him he cracked one eye open, mouth producing a dumb grin that made butterflies erupt in your chest.
“What?” He asked, but you got the distinct impression he knew exactly what you were thinking.
“Nothing,” You lied, but gave in easily, “You’re pretty.”
“You’re pretty too. Now go to sleep.” You nodded, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Kay, goodnight Lukey. I love you.”
“Love you too, my girl. So much.” His answer was muffled by him pressing his face into your hair to pull you closer, but you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face even as sleep enveloped you.
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orchidsangel · 11 months ago
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MY BABY, MY BABY. YOU'RE MY BABY, SAY IT TO ME. (JT)
notes/cw ~ fluff, minor(ish) angst, fem!reader, talks of having a baby, idk i just had really bad dad!jason brain rot and i felt like i had to share it with my lovely angels, (2.3k)
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The sound of laughter rings through your house like jingle bells during the holiday season, pitter patters of tiny feet tumbling against hardwood floors, and bigger ones chasing after them invade your ears. Squeals of laughter pour out through an open window as you pull bags of groceries out of the trunk of your car, the sound of running dying down when the trunk closes with a thump. "Is mommy home?" You hear a familiarly sweet voice say. "I think she is. Come on, let's see if we can beat her to the door."
Bags in hand, you walk up the pathway to the entrance of your house. The street of your suburban neighborhood, mostly empty on this chilly winter night, save for some residents walking their dogs before lights get turned off. The sound of a lock clicks before you're even halfway up the path, and soon after, you're met with Jason and your daughter standing in the doorway looking ridiculous, goofy grins on both of their faces. Red bows are hidden amongst his hair, some tied around short braids, some just hanging loosely on a few strands bunched together. Pink pajama pants peek out from under the red tutu she's wearing, and she dons pink ballet slippers on her feet as if she's about to perform the Nutcracker. 
He steps outside, meeting you at the top of the steps, hooking his fingers under the canvas straps of your reusable tote bags—an investment you'd made to offset some of the carbon emissions from his bike—and takes them into his hands. "New hair, huh?" you ask, eyeing the variety of red satin ribbons tied in knots littering the expanse of his head. "Yeah, you like?" He asks, turning towards you, lowering his head a bit so you can get a better look. You roll your eyes, but there's a smile playing on your lips at the image of Jason sitting down while your daughter's tiny hands play hairdresser with bows and barrettes.
You close the front door behind him as he makes his way toward the kitchen to unpack the groceries, turning your attention to the little girl in front of you sporting a toothy grin. "I thought ballet ended hours ago," you say, eyeing the layers of bright red tulle you had previously hidden to avoid the specks of glitter that shed every time she moved. "She had to practice her pirouettes." you hear Jason say from inside the fridge. "Yeah, mommy. I was practicing my pirouettes." She pouts her lips and cocks her head to the side, small hands fidgeting as she tries to use cuteness to get out of trouble. You cross your arms and squint your eyes at her, "Uh huh. And the hair?" You gesture to Jason, walking toward you. "What does that have to do with pirouettes?" 
He joins the two of you in the living room holding up a container of Gerber baby puffs, using them as a distraction to get both him and his little girl out of trouble. "What?" You ask, deadpan. "What d'ya mean what? We've got an infant I don't know about?" Your daughter gasps, eyes lighting up suddenly. "A sibling!" He laughs, turning towards you with a raised eyebrow. "No, you jerk. Him, not you, honey," you say, quickly correcting yourself. "They're for me." You snatch the container of blueberry-flavored rice puffs out of his hand, peeling off the lid and shoving a handful into your mouth. "God forbid women enjoy things." 
You pop a few more into your mouth before feeling a tug at the coat you still hadn't taken off. When you look down, you're met with your daughter, mouth open and waiting for you to share. She stares at you with wide eyes, using your inability to say no to her to her advantage. Sighing, you raise the container a bit and pause, "Only a few, and you have to get ready for bed after." she nods her head, mouth still open, and you tilt and pour out a substantial amount. She closes her mouth and displays her adorable little smile once again before running off to the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Hold on," Jason shouts down the hallway. "Say thank you to your mom!" You hear feet running again, and soon enough, feel the soft squeeze of your daughter giving you a hug; she presses her head into your lower abdomen as you bring your hand up to softly stroke her hair. "Thank you, Mommy." She says before moving on to Jason and giving an equally soft hug despite using all her might. "And thank you, Daddy, for letting me do your hair." She lets go and scurries off again, leaving a trail of red glitter in her wake for you to clean up.
She disappears into the bathroom, and you watch the hallway, now empty, as she gets ready for bed. You sigh, listening to the sound of water running while she independently does her end-of-the-night tasks, something you'd still helped her with not too long ago. Jason's arms creep around your waist, pulling you against him. His chin rests on your shoulder, and you feel something tickle your neck, but you're not sure if it's his hair or a ribbon. He notices the solemn look in your eyes, a stark contrast to the liveliness he'd seen in you just a few moments ago. "What's wrong? Is it the glitter? Because I can clean that up." He says. "No, not that." You nibble on your bottom lip, lost in thought, trying to organize your feelings. "Just… she's gotten so big." He hums in acknowledgment, his way of saying he shares the sentiment. "I just don't know where the time went." You mumble, overcome with an unexpected sadness. "She's only five." He says into your neck, bringing his hands up to your shoulders and gently pulling off the coat you'd forgotten to take off. "Yeah, but she was just a baby not that long ago. I swear."
The both of you watch her move between her bedroom and the bathroom, soft dark brown curls bouncing with every movement. At five, she was already more responsible than most children her age, having a pretty concrete idea of right and wrong well before most kids do. Responsible for her age, but still just a baby in the grand scheme of everything, and sometimes the two of you would wonder if Jason's occupation might end up inadvertently affecting her and warping her idea of justice, but those fears were almost always disproven as soon as they came and oftentimes you didn't worry more than a few minutes. "We're doing a good job." He says from behind you, rubbing your back in an attempt to take away some of the worry. Normally, it would go away with ease, today, not so much. "We're not bad parents." You say with conviction, but you both know you're just trying to convince yourself of it. "We're not. You know we're not." 
He turns you around to face him, away from the hallway, so you can't dwell any longer. His hands move to your upper arms, kneading gently as he searches for your eyes. "What's wrong? Talk to me." You struggle to make eye contact, unsure of your next words. "I think…I think I want another baby." You breathe out, looking down, unable to meet his gaze. Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes, and you barely breathe while you wait for his reaction. Not a single thing in the universe could've prepared you for the words that come out of his mouth. "Is that all? Is that what you were sulking about?" You look up at him, eyes wide, as he lets out a breathy laugh. Oh Jason, your Jason, taking your face in his hands and leaning down so he can look you in your eyes. "Don't scare me like that again, okay? Do you know how fucked up shit has to be for me to be the optimist out of the two of us?" It's your turn to laugh now, a weight having been lifted off your shoulders. "Language," you warn. "Aw, come on, she's way out of earshot." He bends down and presses his lips against yours; you close your eyes, leaning into him, hands finding his chest as you feel all of your worries melt away.
"Blegh." 
The sudden sound of a disgusted child, your disgusted child, pulls you away from Jason, and you wipe your mouth in embarrassment. It's just your daughter, but you still feel like a kid who's just been caught stealing candy and is about to get lectured into oblivion; Jason, however, handles it with ease. Taking on a playfully stern tone and pointing an accusatory finger at her, he asks, "Why are you up, little lady? Shouldn't you be in bed?" She mirrors his action, pointing a finger at him now. "You didn't tuck me in or read me my bedtime story." He puts his thumb and forefinger on his chin, seemingly thinking it over. "Hmmm, seems you've got me there." He shrugs before picking her up into his arms and giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You've gone soft," you say with a laugh, the embarrassment of being caught having passed. "What can I say? She's bossy. Gets it from her mama." You nudge his shoulder lightly as he turns in the direction of her room. "Alright, that's enough out of you." 
He leaves the door to her bedroom slightly cracked, and you can hear their whispers as they do their nightly routine of picking out a book to read, followed by her falling asleep in his arms. "What do you have in mind tonight?" He asks, laying her down gently on the bed adorned with princess sheets and stuffed animals he'd bought for her during trips around the world. "Can we finish Lord of the Rings?" She grabs her favorite stuffie, a gray bunny with droopy ears and button eyes, and holds it close to her chest as Jason climbs in beside her. "I don't think we can finish it, but we can fit a few pages in before it's time for you to go to sleep. That work for you?" He leans over the side of the bed and picks up a worn copy of Lord of the Rings that had been sitting on top of a stack of books he kept in her room solely for the purpose of bedtime. She nods her head at his question and snuggles further into him as he flips to the page they left off at.
You hear the sound of rustling and know the bedtime story has commenced, leaving you to clean up the mess of glitter and ribbons. Broom in hand, you start to sweep up the remnants of her "pirouette practice." Going up and down the hallway, sweeping back and forth. You catch a glimpse of the photos in the frames lining your wall before coming to a full stop and reminiscing about how far you guys have come. There were some pictures from when it was just the two of you, but most of those were kept digital, hidden amongst miscellaneous screenshots and disorganized photo albums. The majority of the framed photos came after she was born; something so special about being able to hold a photo of the three of you in your hands, to have it on display in your home proudly saying this is my family. Corny, maybe, but you'd never regretted starting the collection, especially since it had been Jason's idea. He'd been insistent that you keep a scrapbook to commemorate your ever-changing lives, but after realizing neither of you had the knack for cutting and gluing bits of paper onto pretty pages, you'd settled on the wall. Now, you look at them so often and always with fondness. Oh, how things had changed since that day, you'd met so long ago.
You don't know how long you'd been standing there, but you hear a door closing softly, and you turn to see Jason trying to make his way into the hallway with minimal noise. "Is she asleep?" You ask, barely above a whisper. "Out like a light." He says, joining you in front of the framed memories. A picture of her as a newborn, freshly discharged from the hospital, catches his eye, "she was really tiny, wasn't she?" He says, voice cracking a little as he remembers the overwhelming fear he'd experienced when you were in labor and how it all went away once he had held her in his arms. You hum in agreement as you both get lost in pictures of her from the past. Birthdays and holidays, family events and major milestones, there was a picture for everything.
There was one of her on his shoulders; she couldn't have been more than two at the time, her tiny fingers laced through locks of jet-black hair. You remember like it was yesterday; she had just watched Ratatouille and was trying to imitate Remy. He had played into it, and he couldn't get her off his shoulders for days after that. Another, taken from her first trip to the beach. You sit behind her, keeping her upright and holding her arms out, making one wave at Jason, who was behind the camera. You smile to yourself, the two of you standing outside of your daughter's bedroom, mostly content, remembering what it was like to have a baby in your arms. The memory of bringing her home floods his brain; how nervous he was yet so insanely happy he couldn't control the smile on his face. A shaky laugh falls from his lips as he pulls down a picture of the three of you still in the hospital, thumb pressed against the glass like he's trying to physically feel the moment. "Yeah…I could do it again." 
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been working on this almost non stop for 9 hours, literally my longest fic yet (only by like 600 words, but still !!!), special thanks to @kiyozu (my beloved) for giving me this idea !! eek, hope you guys enjoyed it <33 (user orchidsangel is going to sleep now) (also tried following up dialogue with actions this time, gonna see how that goes bc if it’s too hard to follow along with i’ll just go back to he said she said)
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daechwitatamic · 1 year ago
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1. Asterism || KSJ
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(banner by @itaeewon)
Title: Amalthea (Masterpost) - Part 1: Asterism
Rating: NSFW - minors go away i mean it Genre: best friend's older brother!au, angst smut fluff trifecta Pairing: Seokjin x female reader Beta team: @yoongiphoria, @here2bbtstrash, @kookstempo
Summary: You can count on two things in life. One: that your lifelong best friend Minji will always be there for you, in your corner, your brightest star. Two: that you'll never be free from her older brother Seokjin's orbit - the gravitational pull is just too strong.
Warnings: language, drinking, angst, kissing, fingering, explicit protected s*x WC: 9.5k
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Part 1: Asterism Asterism: (noun) a recognizable pattern of stars that does not make up the full constellation
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Things start when your mother texts you asking for a favor.
To be more historically accurate, things started when you were a child. But for the sake of brevity, for a tighter focus on the now, it starts with this text -
[5:41 PM] Mom: can you do me a big favor?
When you send her back “sure”, she calls you, which you expected all along. You’re surprised she texted first at all, instead of going straight to the phone call. She’s a creature of habit, your mother. 
“I cooked a few dishes and stuck them in the fridge,” she tells you. Pacing across your own kitchen, a fifteen minute drive from her place, you squint as you pass through the one exact spot where the afternoon sunlight assaults you from the window every day around this time. You’ve lived here for years - you’ve just been too lazy to put curtains up in this room. Your mother continues, her voice coming through your phone so loudly that you can hold it like it’s on speaker (although it’s not) and still hear her loud and clear. “You’ll see them, they’re in the tupperware with blue lids? Can you bring them over to the Kims’?”
“What?” you say - not because you didn’t understand the directions, but because you didn’t understand the why. She starts to repeat herself but you cut her off, clarifying, “Why are you making food for the Kims?”
“Didn’t I tell you?” she asks. “Or at least Minji? Mr. Kim had his knee replacement today.”
You call Minji from the car, but she doesn’t answer. You’ve been best friends since kindergarten; her dad’s house is just across the street from the one you’d grown up in, where your parents still live. You kids have all grown up, and away - you, Minji, and her two brothers - but Mr. Kim still lives in that same house, the light blue one that you can see from your childhood bedroom window. 
You still live close, and Minji’s just a few towns over. Her brothers moved far - requiring planes and trains to get back. You see Minji at least monthly, if not more often - usually you meet for brunch at a place between your houses. Sometimes, though, you meet back home home - for holidays, usually. The last time you were at her dad’s house with her was for the winter holidays two years ago; you’d rung in the New Year on her back deck. 
You try not to think about that night. 
You let yourself into your parents’ empty house with the code and head straight for the kitchen. As promised, there’s a small stack of blue-lidded containers, and you load them into a reusable grocery bag you steal from the cabinet beneath the sink. You lock the house back up and head across the street on foot. 
Once upon a time - for most of your life, really - you would have just let yourself in. You and Minji grew up in each other’s homes. This was your second home, her dad your second father. It had been like that your whole life. But once you and Minji went away to college, things changed - just slightly. Part of it’s just becoming an adult. You don’t barge in anymore, you knock. 
You expect Minji, or maybe one of her aunts if they’ve come to help, to answer the door. Instead, it swings open to reveal her older brother, Seokjin - full lips frowning slightly, strong brow furrowed as he tries to piece together why you’re standing on his father’s doorstep holding a grocery bag. 
The moment stretches, stills. It can go one of two ways - you can let it be awkward, or you can be sure that it isn’t.
“Hi,” you say, hoping it sounds breezy. “My mom cooked some dishes for you.”
Seokjin takes a minute step backwards, lips parting to speak, but then you hear your name squealed from over his shoulder and you brace yourself for impact. 
Jin acts fast, grabbing the bag of food from you and flattening himself against his open front door as Minji launches herself past him to hug you, laughing.
“I called you on my way over!” you scold her, smiling, hugging her tightly back. 
“Sorry!” she says, still holding you, still laughing. Jin’s still holding your food, just to the side of you, watching this display with a blank face. “I was helping my dad lay down. I left my phone in the kitchen, I think? You should see his knee, it’s disgusting. Is that food?”
She releases you and turns, heading through the house towards their roomy kitchen. You know you’re expected to follow. You reach to take the food back from Jin, shooting him a thankful smile. Your fingers brush as you take the bag, and you drop your gaze, hurrying to follow the sound of Minji’s voice as it floats through the house. Seokjin stands in place as you leave, and you hope he doesn’t see you shudder against goosebumps as you hurry away.
He’s had that effect on you since you were fourteen years old.
But that’s ancient history.
There’s a lot you want to ask him, starting with how long he’ll be in town, ending with… well. Not now. 
In the kitchen, Minji is trying to make room in the fridge for everything your mom sent over. You sit at the table, watching her absently, answering whenever her chatter pauses to ask you something. 
Jin joins you two wordlessly. He reaches over Minji’s head and then turns and holds out a beer bottle, offering it to you.
“Ooh, yes please,” you say, taking it from him. Minji looks up to see what you’re talking about and then nudges Jin’s shin - which is next to her head - to indicate that she wants one too. He sits across the table from you and sets a beer for Minji at the seat to his right. When she’s done in the fridge, she sits heavily next to her brother and they both look at you as they drink.
“So,” you say, because you have to say something about now, have to keep yourself from getting swept up in twenty-something years of memories that this house holds for you. “How’d the surgery go?”
“Great!” Minji beams. “The surgeons said it was exactly as expected. He’ll start physical therapy next week.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” you tell her genuinely. Mr. Kim was always important to you. You turn your attention to Jin, who’s downed half of his beer already. “Are you staying long?”
He nods, swallows, then answers. “A few weeks, probably,” he tells you. “I got approval to work remotely through the end of the month. Hopefully by then he’ll be back to a point where he doesn’t need someone here 24/7, and Minji can just pop in on him…” 
He trails off, his eyes going over your shoulder, watching a few birds hop from the bird feeder to the deck railing. The deck railing where you’d hung wet bathing suits to dry on never-ending summer afternoons, where you’d placed soda cans with rivulets of condensation running down their sides, where you’d leaned with Minji as you talked about boys and school and boys again, where you’d buried your hands in Seokjin’s hair as he’d - nope. 
Not going there. Not unless you want to drown.
“Do you want to eat dinner with us?” Minji asks, throwing you a life preserver by dragging you back to the present. 
“Ah,” you say, letting your regretful tone do the answering for you. “I’d like to, but… I should get home.”
I should get out of this house, you think. I should get away from your brother. 
She grins at you slyly. “Got that man to feed?”
You laugh in surprise. Seokjin is suddenly very interested in the label on the beer he’s almost finished. 
“No,” you say. “He’s out of the picture.”
Minji narrows her eyes at you, assessing. “We don’t seem sad,” she observes finally. 
You shake your head. “We aren’t sad,” you confirm. Jin gets up wordlessly and opens the fridge again, reaching for a second beer. His shoulders take up almost the whole space. You try not to notice, try not to think about the muscles of those shoulders rippling under your fingertips - enough. Enough, now.
You stand, needing the escape, needing to get away, draining the rest of your beer in one long drag that would make your college-self proud.
“Listen,” you say to the room at large, to both of them, after placing the empty bottle back on the table, “call me if you need help, okay? My place isn’t far. I can pop over if you need an extra pair of hands, or a break, or some errands handled. Okay?”
Seokjin’s still hiding in the refrigerator, taking a million years to choose between two of the same beer. Minji, oblivious, takes your hand gratefully.
“Thank you,” she says warmly, giving you a squeeze. 
You start to head back towards the front door, Minji still clutching your hand. 
“Bye, Seokjin,” you say over your shoulder.
He glances up at you around the open refrigerator door.
“See you,” he says. There’s something hollow in his voice. 
You get it, though. 
The last time the three of you were here together, two years ago, he’d welcomed in the New Year buried inside you against the back of their house, gasping your name against the inky dark of the frigid December night.
You’ve never told a soul, and you don’t think he has, either.
You’ve never talked about it at all.
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You and Minji spent New Year's Eve out at bars and clubs together almost every year. The year you were twenty-six, though, something had changed. Suddenly, the idea of vying for bar space, in heels, for overpriced drinks and sleazy dudes seemed abysmal. 
“We could stay in,” Minji had suggested. “Pretend we’re sixteen, sneaking booze into dad’s basement again? Seokjin is back in town for the week because he dumped that shitty girlfriend of his for the sixth time, might be kind of fun to all hang out.”
You’d pretended to dislike the idea, grimacing a little as you thought it over. Your brain snagged on dumped his shitty girlfriend. 
“Come on,” she’d said cajolingly. “We can put on 90’s music and play card games, like we used to.”
You knew the whole time that you’d go; all you needed to know was that Seokjin would be there. Since he’d left for college, he only came home twice a year - Christmas holidays, and over summer breaks. Since he'd moved far, even those weren't promised.
Minji ended up with a small crowd - a few that you were friends with in high school, but most of them you thought were friends of her brothers. 
You’d spent most of the night trying to avoid staring at Jin - or at least avoid getting caught staring. It had been about two years since you’d seen him last - four years since he moved away. He was twenty-eight to your twenty-six that year, and you weren’t sure if it was the way he was aging or if it was the tequila, but he seemed - somehow - even more handsome than you remembered. 
It had gotten more and more difficult as the night went on to focus - on conversations, on card games, on how to balance as you walked; your brain wanted to spend its energy cataloging the quirk of his full lips when you said something funny, his windshield-wiper laugh when Minji dropped a whole tray of lemon slices she’d spent twenty minutes cutting, the strip of bare skin his shirt revealed when he bent down to help her pick them up. It was like your brain was trying to soak up every little detail of him that it could after so many years of distance, of him being somebody you used to be close to.
Eventually, you’d retreated to the back deck, alone, just minutes before midnight. Outside, the noise of the party fell away, and you took in deep gulps of cold air, your hands gripping the splintery wood of the railing. 
When the door opened behind you, you expected Minji. Instead, Seokjin stood there, staring at you like he’d asked you a question and was waiting for an answer. 
Maybe, in his own way, he had. Maybe it had been all the quick glances he’d given you that night. Maybe it had been the way he’d stuck close, listening when you talked, smiling wryly when you cracked jokes. Maybe it had been the way his eyes had followed you from room to room, the way his fingers had tightened around his glass when you bent down to grab one of the wayward lemon slices.
You’d stared back at him, unsure what the right move was. This was Minji’s brother, and you’d promised her almost fifteen years ago to never get tangled up with her family. This was Minji’s brother, who had bought you girls beer before you were old enough, who had once driven to pick you up from the mall on a rainy day when your date had gone badly. This was Minji’s brother who’d once held your hand in the backseat of your dad’s car as you sobbed over a broken wrist, who’d often let you sit and watch him play video games even after he’d told Minji to bug off and leave him alone.
This was Seokjin, who was staring at you so intently that for a moment you weren’t sure if he hadn’t asked you something.
“Seokjin?”
His eyes met yours.
“Explain to me how you got even more beautiful?” he’d murmured, and your heart had leapt into your throat.
“I - what?”
He was close enough to touch. You’d dreamed of this for so long - pathetically long, really. You’d never dreamed that he’d want you.
He stepped closer, and you did touch him - one hand acted without permission, coming up and resting lightly on his chest, over his heart. It had thumped beneath your tentative fingers. 
Your fingers had curled in the material of the thick hoodie he’d been wearing, had pulled him just closer.
And then his mouth was on yours, searing, and your hands were in his hair, and that deck railing was pressing into your lower back as he pinned you against it, and one of his hands was creeping beneath the hem of your shirt, and you could feel him hardening against your lower stomach, and -
And through the window, you could see the party carrying on.
You broke the kiss, pushed gently on his forearm to extract his sneaky hand from inside your shirt.
“They can see us,” you’d gasped, and he’d followed your gaze somewhat dumbly, like it hadn’t occurred to him that everyone else existed in the same place as the two of you.
Then he’d taken your hand, pulling you down the deck steps, away from the glow of light from the house’s windows, down into the darkness, where witnesses would have to work a little harder to see what was going on.
He’d pressed you against the wall of the house, beneath the deck, and as you’d tipped your head back to allow him access to nip and soothe lines up and down your neck you’d thought of all the summer nights you’d spent in this exact spot. This is where the keg usually goes, you’d thought absently as that sneaky hand returned to the bare skin of your belly beneath your sweater.
You hadn’t felt even remotely cold, despite the threat of snow in the air. 
You’d kissed until your lips hurt and you wanted it to hurt just a little more, your hands starting to toy with the waistband of his jeans as his thumb rubbed determined circles around your puckered nipple beneath the fabric of your bra. 
“Tell me what you want,” he’d said, the words mumbled against your lips. He’d pulled back just enough, just enough to watch your face as you told him -
“Anything. Everything. All of it… all of you.”
His hand had traveled up the back of your thigh, beneath your skirt, fingers pushing the cotton of your panties aside before stroking through your center. You’d moaned, low, aware that anyone could come out onto the deck above you without warning. His breath had hitched in response, and his hand had left your pussy long enough to tug you to him again, pressing you against his hips for just a second before returning. This time he didn’t toy with you, pressing his index finger into your messy heat, followed quickly by a second digit.
You’d mouthed his name against his jaw, trying to keep yourself upright as he pressed you against the brick of the house, as he pumped his fingers leisurely, fingertips rubbing circles against your front wall until he found the place that made you gasp and buck against his hand. He’d laughed, asked, “Yeah?” in a cocky voice you’d never heard on him before. It’d made you, impossibly, wetter. 
“You’re so fucking hot,” you’d whispered, half delirious, and he’d laughed again, like he knew already.
There had been a flash of foil between his teeth, the sound of his zipper echoing across the frozen backyard, and then he was pushing inside you, fingers still wet from you now gripping your hip to keep you in place. 
You’d groaned in unison as he slowly bottomed out. The brick had bit at your back, the winter air had bit at your face, and Seokjin had bit at your lower lip as he pounded into you steadily. 
It had been hurried. It had been hushed. 
Your name on his lips when he came took the air from your lungs.
You’d wanted this, wanted him, in silence for as long as you could remember. Before you had words to put to it, before you were old enough to understand why your stomach hurt when he left the room. 
It had hurt, after. The scrapes from the brick wall. Your sore hamstrings. Your chapped, cracking lips. 
His silence.
You’d both missed the countdown. Happy New Year.
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You don’t know what you had expected after seeing Seokjin at his dad’s house unexpectedly. Apparently, some foolish part of your subconscious thought he’d reach out to you, because you find yourself disappointed when he doesn’t.
Stupid, you think. I don’t know what you were thinking. Aside from that one slip on New Year’s Eve two years ago, you’d done a stellar job at orbiting Seokjin in silence, keeping your feelings under control and out of sight, never pushing yourself into his path but never letting him stray so far as to forget you, either. Nothing’s changed. 
You tell yourself this for two days, until Minji’s name lights up your phone as you’re packing up from work on Thursday evening, your stomach growling and your feet aching to get out of their heels. 
“Yeeees?” you answer her as you power down your laptop and cast your gaze around your cubicle for anything else that needs to come home with you.
“Are you still at work?” she asks, sounding a little breathless, a little irritated.
“Packing up right now,” you tell her, rising and pulling your bag onto your shoulder. You give Dale, your cubicle-mate, a silent wave goodbye and head for the elevators. “What’s up?”
“I tried your mom first, but your parents are apparently out to dinner tonight,” she says. “Is there any way you can swing by my dad’s? I think Seokjin is having a hard time with dad, and I’m stuck here at least another two hours -.”
“No problem,” you tell her, cutting off her explanation. It isn’t needed. “I’ll head there now. Tell him I’ll be like…” You glance at your watch for the time, “...twenty-five minutes, tops, if traffic is bad.”
“You’re a saint,” she breathes in relief. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I’ll get there as soon as I can. I promise I’ll hurry. Did I tell you that deal with Mr. Lee fell through? I have been non-stop -”
“Don’t worry about it,” you tell her, meaning it. “I’m happy to help. I’ll be there soon. See you later, okay?”
You grew up on a dead end. You never tell people that, now. You always fancy it up if it’s brought up in conversation - you call it a cul-de-sac, though it isn’t according to the yellow sign that marks where you turn left to reach your parents’ house. 
Every inch of this street is steeped in memories for you - memories of growing up with Minji and Seokjin, running wild through these streets whenever the weather allowed it, learning to ride a bike, having snowball fights and water balloon fights and - once - even a foodfight. Thinking of your childhood with those two, you think mostly of chaos and laughter. 
You miss it, a little, and that’s only a little bit nostalgia talking. Maybe the lack of chaos is nice, but the lack of laughter kind of sucks. 
It takes Seokjin forever to answer the door when you knock. When he does, it’s evident immediately why Minji had called for backup. 
He’s sick as a dog; his nose is red, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy and sleepy. 
“Minji sent me,” you explain. “She said you need help with your dad.”
“I don’t,” he protests, just a little whiny. “We’re fine. Why’d she call you? I told her we were fine.”
This clear untruth is punctuated by a fit of coughing. You purse your lips and raise an eyebrow, waiting. 
He shakes his head, recovering. “It’s just a cold,” he says, doubling down. “I’m sorry you drove all the way here, but I don’t need help. I was just about to help Dad get showered - I need to get back up there, he’s waiting.”
He starts to turn to go, but you reach out, catching his sleeve. He turns, brows furrowing in frustration, but you cut him off.
“Jin,” you say seriously, “come on. I came here to help. What needs to be done? Do you want me to start heating up dinner while he showers?”
He sags back against the wall behind him, raising one hand to rub wearily over his brow, his eyes, down over his mouth. You let his sleeve slip between your fingers and you wait as his resolve cracks. 
He sighs heavily, eyeing the ceiling. “Could you strip his bed and put on clean blankets? So when he’s done showering, I can put him back in a clean bed?”
“Absolutely,” you say, relieved that he’s delegated a task. He leads you upstairs silently. Your feet remember the way to Mr. Kim’s bedroom. You weren’t often allowed to play in there as kids, but you have to pass it to get to Minji’s room; you think you could walk the path in your sleep.
Halfway up the stairs, you pause, stopping by one of the dozens of framed photos on the wall. You smile, putting your finger on the glass. 
At the top of the stairs Seokjin pauses, turns to see why you stopped. Something on his face softens when he sees. 
“Yeah,” he says. “That one’s still up.”
You give him a small smile. The photo your finger rests on is a group shot with blue water meeting blue sky as the backdrop. 
Mr. Kim stands in the middle, beaming, one arm around Minji and the other around Seokjin. Minji’s little brother Jungkook - only a year behind you girls in school - sits on the ground at Seokjin’s feet, grinning with a scrunched nose. You’re behind Minji, peeking around her shoulders, your eyes closed as you laugh. You’re all kids in the picture - Seokjin, as the oldest, is probably around ten. 
You’d been shy to be included in the picture, but Mr. Kim had told you that you were one of his kids in spirit if nothing else. You’d all been at the lake that day. Seokjin had been the one who made you and Jungkook laugh as the camera snapped. You remember it like it was yesterday. After the picture had been taken, you girls and Seokjin had dug a hole in the sand and buried Jungkook up to his neck. You’d splashed in the water, squealing over the slimy rocks that lined the lake’s floor. Later, you’d all eaten thick slices of watermelon, the juice dripping on your bare legs as the summer sun set over the horizon, the four of you sitting in a row on the picnic table bench like a matched set. You’d chased fireflies until Mr. Kim called your names, ready to pack you all into the car to return home, smelling like sunscreen and lakewater. 
It was one of your favorite memories, that whole day. 
You strip the blankets and sheets from Mr. Kim’s bed and toss them in the hamper. You collect a clean set from the linen closet in the hallway without needing to be told where they are. You spent as much time in this house as your own growing up. In the ensuite, you can hear the shower running, the low murmur of both men’s voices as they chat. You make the bed, fluffing the comforter, and then take the hamper down to the basement, where you dump them into the washer and get it started. 
When you head back upstairs, Seokjin is in the living room, slumped sideways on the couch, eyes closed. You’re not sure if he’s awake, if he knows you’re standing behind him. He has that hand pressed to his brow again, and you know a headache when you see it. 
You pad quietly up the stairs and into the hallway bathroom, where Mr. Kim used to keep all the over-the-counter stuff - bandaids, pain-killers, lozenges, even tampons back when Minji still lived here. 
Heading back downstairs, you grab a glass of water from the kitchen and find Seokjin exactly where you left him, pressing his face pitifully into the arm of the couch.
You nudge him gently, and hold out your offerings - fever reducer and the water. 
He grumbles as he takes them, pushing himself to a more upright position so he can drink from the glass without spilling.
When he sets the glass down, he looks over at you somewhat warily. “How have you been?” he asks, and there’s something resigned in his voice. Something defeated. You wonder what battle he’s lost, to make him sound like that. You feel - have always felt - that so much of what goes on in Jin’s mind is kept behind the curtain. For someone so loud, he’s the most private person you know.
“I’ve been fine,” you shrug. “Normal.”
He looks sideways at you for a long moment. “Is that a lie?” he asks finally, voice low. 
“No,” you say, trying to keep your voice light. It isn’t, right? You’ve been fine. What happened between you was two entire years ago, the lid closing tightly on a lifetime of maybes. You’d had your moment together and it hadn’t led to anything. What choice did you have, but to accept it and move on? So, there you have it. You’ve been fine.
You make the decision, right there, not to bring it up - what happened two years ago. His lips on yours, his body under your hands, the way your legs had trembled as they’d struggled to hold you up. Better to let it stay dead. If Seokjin had wanted to talk about it, he’s had two years and four months to do so. If he wants to pretend he didn’t fuck his sister’s best friend and then ghost her completely, who are you to mess with the plan? 
You need something sweet; you’re far too bitter.
But honestly, you can’t even hate him for it. He hadn’t promised you a thing, so logically there’s no reason to feel like a toy played with and discarded - even if you’re left wishing he had never picked you up to play with at all.
You look him over, taking in the sheen of sweat on his brow, the haze you can still see in his eyes. “You look like shit,” you tell him.
He lets out a single puff of a laugh, his eyes closed. “Now I know you’re lying,” he says, lips quirking into a smile. 
“You look like you have the flu,” you say flatly, ignoring his nonsense. 
“It’s just a cold,” he says.
You lapse into silence. He keeps his eyes closed, that hand still resting on his head. Finally, you say, “How about you? How’ve you been?”
He shrugs. “Been fine. Working. You know.”
A tiny smile tugs on your lips. “What are we playing these days?”
The smile creeps sideways across his face and he opens his eyes to actually look at you, sending you a conspiratory smirk. “Now you’re asking the right questions,” he says, and starts to tell you about a console game he got last week. 
You head to the basement when it’s time and move the sheets you were washing into the dryer. You pause in the doorway when you return upstairs, looking Seokjin over from afar. He looks better than he had when you’d arrived - eyes less glassy, cheeks less pink. 
“I think your fever’s down,” you say, as you return to where you’d been sitting before.
“I feel better than I did,” he agrees. He looks at you appraisingly, like he’s seeing you clearly for the first time. And, considering the fever, maybe he is. “So Minji said you live pretty close?”
You nod. “Not far. That apartment complex over behind the plaza with the grocery store? You remember, the one that we used to go trick-or-treating at?”
“Wow,” he says, giving an appreciative whistle. “Those are swanky.”
“I’m swanky these days,” you joke, smiling. 
Just then, there’s a soft beep from outside - someone locking their car.
“That’s Minji,” Seokjin observes, and you find yourself standing, feet carrying you towards the kitchen. 
“Do you need anything to drink?” you call over your shoulder. Jin is watching your sudden departure, clearly bemused. You busy yourself in their fridge, even though you don’t have a real reason to. You just didn’t want Minji to enter the house and find you and Jin having domestic hours on the living room couch.
The front door opens, and Minji calls your name through the house.
“I’m in here!” you call back, and head for the doorway of the kitchen. 
Minji hurries to you, setting her bags down on the kitchen floor and flopping dramatically onto the doorjamb. 
“I am so sorry,” she says. “Thank you so much for coming over.”
“Your brother’s sick,” you tell her flatly. “He had a pretty high fever when I got here.”
Her eyes widen, and she turns to look over her shoulder at Seokjin, who gives her a cheery thumbs up. 
“He says he’s fine,” you inform her, “but he’s got about two more hours before the fever-reducer wears off and then he’s gonna be useless again.”
“Thank you for the warning,” she tells you, while Seokjin squawks from the living room, “I am not, and have never been, useless!” 
You give Minji a quick hug goodbye and head for the front door. 
You meet Seokjin’s eyes as you pass through the living room. They’re sharp, now that the fever’s receded, locked on you and looking. 
“Feel better,” you tell him. “Make sure you hydrate.”
“Hey,” he says, making himself comfortable against the couch cushions, “thanks.” Then, an afterthought - “Seriously. Thank you.”
You give him a tight smile and slip out the front door.
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Going home doesn’t stop you from worrying, even though you know Minji is home and capable of taking care of everything. But at work the next day, your eyes keep darting to your phone screen, as if you’re expecting updates on how Jin is feeling, if everything is okay at the house. 
No one texts you. 
You can’t ask Minji. She’s too fucking smart. If you so much as said, “Hey, is your brother feeling better?” she’d be all over it. 
You try your mom instead, texting her, “How’s Mr. Kim doing? Any updates?” 
She answers, “Haven’t heard anything!”
You groan, tapping the corner of your phone on your desk in frustration. You try to focus on work for a little bit, but it’s truly a lost cause. With a defeated sigh, you open your phone and thumb through your contacts. 
Kim Seokjin. 
You’ve had his number in your phone since you got it - your mom was the one who programmed it in for you when you were fourteen, citing Jin as someone you could call if you had an emergency. As if by being two years your senior, he qualified as a helpful adult. 
You haven’t used his number in over five years - not since you were still in college, probably. 
Actually, you realize, you remember the last time - though there were definitely parts of the night you didn’t remember. 
It was your senior year, the first weekend of December, and you and Minji were drinking in some girl’s dorm. You’d never even met this girl before, but there you were, perched on her desk with a bottle of flavored vodka in hand, watching her LEDs change color along the ceiling.
You and Minji were both wasted, even though it was relatively early - not even midnight yet. You leaned against each other, holding the other up, both of you giggling and tapping around on your phones as the conversation flowed around you.
That’s what had happened - you’d noticed it was about to be midnight, the clock about to change from 11:59. And despite being so drunk that Minji was mostly propping you up, so drunk that you had to close one eye to read the letters of this girl’s alarm clock, so drunk that you’d be throwing up in just minutes - a little part of you brain informed you that midnight meant it was officially December 4th. 
You’d texted Seokjin happy birthday at exactly midnight, one eye closed to make sure you were typing actual words. He was hundreds of miles away, had graduated and moved out already, and you hadn’t talked since the day the Kims had loaded all of his shit into a rented moving van, about five months ago. 
And he’d answered - “thank you! what are you doing up??”
To which you’d replied, “getting baja blasted with your sister” and he’d replied, “i do not want to know, thank you!!”
And then Minji had looked at you drunkenly and narrowed her eyes. “Who are you texting with that smile?”
The floor had swooped below your feet, and you’d run for the bathroom. Minji had forgotten about interrogating you, and you and Seokjin had never texted again.
Now, at your job, you stare at his name on your phone screen, wracked with indecision. 
“This is ridiculous,” you finally sigh. Behind you, Dale glances over his shoulder to determine if you’re talking to him or yourself. Ignoring Dale, you tap Seokjin’s name and type, “how are you feeling today?”
You don’t even have time to feel nervous about it - his response is almost instantaneous. He sends you a picture of a gaming screen, where he’s clearly playing a shooter POV. He follows it up with the sunglasses emoji. You laugh out loud, trying to keep your chuckles quiet to avoid calling attention to your cubicle. 
“What a nerd,” you mutter affectionately. You type back, “you must be fine then 🙄��. 
Seokjin’s played video games his whole life; it’s one thing you do know about him. How many hours of your childhood had been spent with him, Jungkook, and Minji crowded around the tv in their basement, fighting over whose turn it was to play?Usually Seokjin got to play the first controller (since he was older, stronger, and technically the console belonged to him), which left you and Minji and Jungkook to fight it out over the second one.
But you remember other times, too - especially as you got older - when you’d just sit in silence and watch him play. By the time you were a teenager - fourteen to Jin’s sixteen - Minji was over wanting to join him. She’d argue for use of the tv, and when she lost she’d flounce upstairs to her room to sulk about it. Sometimes you’d join her - usually, you’d join her. But sometimes you’d cast a glance at Seokjin, see if you were welcome. He’d always play it the same - look at you sideways, give you a tiny nod, pat the couch behind him like an invitation. (Seokjin played video games from the floor, letting the base of the couch prop him up. He said he focused better that way.) 
You’d sit, quiet, watching him work the controls, listening to him whine and groan and complain and shout his way through each map. And you’d feel special, because he let you stay after he’d told Minji to fuck off, because he didn’t mind your presence, because sometimes he’d ask if you wanted him to teach you how, even though you always said no thanks. 
You text your mom and ask what she’s making for dinner.
“Why?” she sends back. “Are you asking me to feed you?”
“Maybe,” you send back. 
You join your parents for dinner, “just because”. It’s not that uncommon for you to join them for a meal now and then, considering how close you live. You go because you love your parents and you want a home-cooked meal - definitely not because you know it puts you back in proximity to Jin.
Your mom glances up at you from across the table approximately every four-tenths of a second through the entire meal, until finally you slap your palm on the table and snap, “What?”
She purses her lips, amused. “Nothing,” she says, feigning innocence. “We just don’t usually see you on Friday nights.”
“Jagi,” your dad warns, his voice full of affection. Like he knows it’s a lost cause but he thinks he should try to rein her in for your sake. 
“I’m just saying!” she says, still all innocence, eyes wide. “I’m not complaining! It’s nice to have you here.”
You grumble a response, aggravated that she seems to be onto you. To escape their scrutiny, you rise and move to bag up the full garbage, tying the top of the bag and heading out to the trash cans at the end of the driveway. 
You pause there after hefting the bag up and into the bin, taking a second to breathe. It’s a nice night - the sun has mostly set, the sky deep and dark above you but still clinging to shades of pink down near the horizon. It’s warm, too, for April. 
You’re standing there, arms crossed, watching the sky inch closer and closer to darkness, when you hear a door shut across the street. Your eyes follow the sound immediately, and you see a man’s silhouette do the same thing you were doing - make its way down the driveway, a trash bag in hand. 
Romantic, you think wryly. A garbage date. You stay rooted to the spot, watching as Jin - just an outline, a shadow - tosses the bag into the bin and brushes off his hands. Then, he stops still, seeming to notice you.
You hold your breath, not sure how this will go, and then he starts to lope over, and you exhale in a whoosh.
“Hi,” he says simply, as he gets close enough that you can finally see his face through the dark.
“Hi,” you say around a tiny smile. “You seem better today.”
He scoffs. “I told you it was just a cold. I just needed to sleep it off.”
“I’m glad,” you tell him softly. Maybe it’s dangerous, maybe it’s stupid - to be soft with him. To act like you didn’t already get your answer from him, years ago. To pretend your affection for him is still as pure and untainted as it was when you were a teenager. 
But it feels safer, out here, away from his dad’s house. In there, the memories of that New Year’s Eve are too fresh, too strong - they cling to the air, slide down the walls. The heating unit sighs to life and you hear your own sighs as Seokjin’s fingers danced along your bare skin. The refrigerator grumbles and you hear the grumble of pleasure that originated low in Seokjin’s throat as he felt you squeeze around his fingers. Someone’s footsteps crunch gravel outside, and you hear the crunch of gravel as Seokjin made his way back to the front of the house in the dark, leaving you hidden in shadows, clutching the bricks and gasping for breath.
It’s better out here. In the fresh air, away from that house, the memories are looser, less focused - bike races, raucous laughter, chalk drawings, bouncing beams of light from flashlight tag.
“Thank you for the help yesterday,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck like he does when he’s embarrassed. “I know I kind of gave you a hard time.”
“You didn’t,” you say, letting him off the hook. You’ll always let him off the hook, for everything. You always have. “How’s your dad?”
He glances back at the house over his shoulder, like he needs to verify this answer before giving it. “Not so good today,” he admits. “He’s in a lot more pain, starting to get frustrated needing so much help.”
“Hmm,” you deadpan. “A Kim man who gets frustrated at needing help. Interesting.”
Seokjin laughs, full from his belly. “Shut up,” he says, but there’s no ire in it. “Can I help it if I’m a chip off the ol’ block?”
“We’re supposed to learn from our parents’ mistakes,” you tell him, like a reminder. “Not continue them.”
Just then, a car turns around the corner, the headlights casting you in blinding white light before throwing you back into shadow. You both turn to look - since it’s a dead end, traffic doesn’t just pass through here. 
You recognize the car - it’s Minji’s. She parks and pops out, calling hello to you, ignoring her brother. He makes a face at you like, what am I, chopped liver? 
“I have your mom’s tupperwares, do you want to take them?” she asks, pressing the lock button on her key fob and making the car behind her beep once, loudly. 
“Sure,” you say, following her into the house. A glance over your shoulder tells you that Seokjin is following, too, a few feet behind you, his hands in his pockets. 
Inside, Mr. Kim is sitting sideways on the couch, his leg propped up on a small stack of pillows, a bag of ice over his knee. He perks up when he sees you, lowering his phone away from his face and pushing his spectacles further up his nose. 
“How are you, sweetheart?” he asks. “I’d come hug you, but -.” He gestures at his leg.
“I’m doing fine,” you assure him. “I heard you had a rough day today.”
Mr. Kim shoots a dark look at his son, who looks innocently at the ceiling. “Just a little pain today,” Mr. Kim demures.
Seokjin glances at his phone. “We might want to get you upstairs soon,” he tells his father. “You know you’ll be asleep in about fifteen minutes, so unless you want to spend the night on the couch…”
You watch, feeling awkward and unable to help, as Seokjin helps his dad swivel and stand, an arm over Seokjin’s shoulders. They make their way slowly and laboriously up the stairs, and you feel a little anxious watching. 
“Are they okay?” you ask Minji as she returns from the kitchen, pushing your mother’s empty tupperware back into your hands.
“They’re fine,” she says easily. “It takes a while but they’ve got it down to a science. Hey, listen, do you want to go grab a drink? It’s Friday, and I’ve had a hell of a week, and what I would really like to do is Uber into town and drink like college-Minji.”
You laugh at this. “I’m not sure I’m prepared for the return of college-Minji.”
“Pleaaaaaaaase?” she begs, blinking her lashes at you. “We haven’t gone out together in ages.”
“Alright, alright,” you laugh. “Let me go tell my parents goodbye and drive home and change. Text me the details and I’ll meet you there.”
“Yessss!” she cries, dancing in place a little. You feel a swell of affection for her; you love Minji with your whole heart. You’ve been through a lot together. You’ve been through a lot separately, but always side by side.
There have been many times through your life where you felt like you were clutching Minji’s hand through the fire. 
You still remember clearly the way she’d bounded up to your locker, back when you were thirteen, squealing and excited because the most popular girl in your year had asked her for her number, had invited her over. 
You still remember clearly Minji sobbing on your bed weeks later when it came to light that the girl - who wouldn’t be the last to try - was just trying to get an “in” with Minji’s hot older brother.
“You know I would never, right?” you’d promised her. Stupid, at fourteen, not clarifying that you mean never use you to get to him. Stupid, because then you were sixteen and then eighteen and then twenty-one and then twenty-six and you weren’t sure what you had actually promised - had Minji heard it as I would never get involved with him? 
“I know,” she’d sobbed, reaching one hand blindly to clutch at yours. “I know you wouldn’t.”
And now you’re twenty-eight and the secrets you’ve kept keep piling up - each day you loved him, another pebble atop the pile. The slightest shake could topple the tower, and you’d be absolutely buried. 
You could never let Minji know you loved him. Not when you were fifteen and he was untouchable. Not when you were twenty, and he was the best part of coming home. Not when you were twenty-six, pressed between him and the deck railing. 
Not now, after two years of existing outside his orbit again. 
The bar she picks is small, but quiet - quiet enough that you can actually carry on a conversation from opposite sides of a wooden booth, which is exactly what you do.
What you hadn’t banked on was that Seokjin would join her, sitting on her side of the booth, complaining loudly that he’s not going to come out with you two ever again, he’s never been such a third wheel in his life.
“You could have stayed home with dad,” Minji says, giving him a swift elbow to the ribs. “Don’t be such a complainer. You jumped in on my plans.”
“Can we please talk about something besides your hot coworker, then?” he begs. “Anything, anything else.”
“We could talk about my hot coworkers,” you offer, even though you have none. But this - teaming up with Minji to push Seokjin’s buttons - is a song and dance you know by heart, something you’ve done since practically infancy.
He narrows his eyes at you. “Believe it or not, that’s not better,” he deadpans. 
You laugh, knocking back the rest of your drink and sliding out of the booth to go get another, leaving the Kim siblings to bicker in your absence.
You don’t expect Seokjin to follow; you don’t expect him to press up behind you as you stand at the bar, waiting for the bartender’s attention. 
But he does, his body heavy and warm against yours. The blood rushes to your pussy so fast it almost makes you mad. All he’s doing is standing in close proximity, can your body get it together?
“What are you doing?” you murmur, trying not to meet his eyes in the mirrored wall behind the bar.
“Minji wants shots,” he answers easily. Like his body isn’t pressed against yours, like he isn’t causing your heart to hammer against your ribs.
“You’re too close,” you manage to say, because it’s the best option you can think of. Better than she’ll see us. Better than you still aren’t close enough. Better than don’t do this if you’re just going to leave again. 
He does catch your eyes in the mirror, then. He must read something honest on your face, because he shifts sideways, leaving you cold. The bartender comes by, takes both your orders. You take your drink back to the table. Seokjin follows with a tray of bad decisions poured into tiny glasses.
Even though he gave you the reprieve when you asked for it, it’s clear he’s got a mission to ruin you. You’re sure of it, more and more sure as the night wears on. Sure of it when you reach for the same shot glass, your fingers brushing, his lingering. Sure of it when his eyes on your face make you so warm that Minji accuses you of having a drunk flush. Sure of it when his foot hooks around your ankle beneath the table, slides up and down your calf, slow and tantalizing, inches from Minji’s stilettoed feet. Sure of it when this causes your breath to hitch and his fingers tighten around his glass and his gaze goes to the opposite wall, anywhere but towards you.
You’re drunk, but it’s Seokjin that’s sending you spinning. 
You’ve made this mistake before, you remind yourself sternly. Nothing good can come of it. 
You excuse yourself and head for the bathroom, a marked up door at the end of a narrow, poorly lit hallway. You grip the sides of the sink and breathe deep, closing your eyes. The room sways and you press your forehead to the mirror, trying to ground yourself. 
“You cannot fuck him again,” you whisper to yourself, eyes still closed. “It wouldn’t mean anything even if you did.”
The alcohol catches up to you as you whisper these words; the truth of them slam you harder than normal. You blink away tears, taking a few shuddering breaths.
“Time to go home,” you tell yourself firmly, turning off the water and wiping quickly under your eyes in case any makeup ran. 
This is what it means to be in Seokjin’s orbit, now: to crash into each other, to fight with yourself - fight with the truth that he doesn’t want you, and then run away scared until he’s too far away to hurt you again. Spin idly along until the next time your circles cross paths. Do it again.
He’s in the hallway when you emerge, arms crossed as he leans against the wall. You have to pass him to get back to the table. He pushes off the wall when he sees you coming, stumbles a little. A tiny, sensible part of your brain whispers that he might be drunker than you are as you sidle into his personal bubble.
“What are you doing, Seokjin?” you ask him for the second time that night. 
His eyes comb your face. You don’t know what answer he’s looking for, what question he’s secretly asked you in his mind. 
“You tell me,” he retorts, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, but speaking somehow brought him looming closer and you’re drowning in the smell of him, the warmth of him, the desire to feel his body hard against yours again, to feel him split you open again, to have his mouth hot on your skin again -
You close your eyes, sag a little. His hands come to your elbows quickly, holding you up. “You’re confusing me,” you whisper, and then look up at him through your lashes. 
There’s something aching on his face, and then he whispers back, “I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so sorry - I never meant -.”
The click-clack of high heels approach and round the corner. You and Seokjin leap apart like you’re burned, your arms tingling where his fingers had been.
It’s not Minji. The stranger murmurs an apology and brushes past you both, towards the bathroom.
Spooked, startled out of the moment, you turn to head back to the bar, back to Minji. 
Seokjin grabs your arm, pulls you back. You teeter back a step, then look at him expectantly as you regain your balance.
Seriously, so seriously, he tells you, “I swear, I never wanted to hurt you.” Then he releases your arm with a tiny push, guiding you back out of the dirty hallway and into the light.
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You Uber home alone. You brush your teeth, remove your makeup. You change into pajamas, drink a glass of water. 
You wake up to your phone buzzing incessantly next to your head.
[10:14 AM] Jin 😎: oh [10:14 AM] Jin 😎: my god [10:14 AM] Jin 😎: i think i am dead? [10:15 AM] Jin 😎: are you dead too? are we ghosts? [10:15 AM] Jin 😎: can ghosts throw up??? 🤔
You giggle despite your own headache. 
[10:15 AM] You: whats wrong old man, you can’t hang anymore?? [10:16 AM] Jin 😎: WOW [10:16 AM] You: 😇
You check all your other socials, answer a few emails, and then finally drag yourself out of bed and head for a hot shower. As you stand beneath the hot water, you think about your first hangover, when you were sixteen. 
You’d woken up next to Minji on her basement floor, a hoodie balled up beneath your head like a pillow. You’d closed your eyes again, hoping the splitting pain in your head and the roiling adrenaline in your stomach were a bad dream. 
They were not.
You spent most of the next hour in the basement’s tiny bathroom, curled up on the floor next to your porcelain jail. When you felt like you could stand, you rinsed your mouth and pulled the pillow-hoodie onto your body, taking comfort in the way it swam on you, the hemline brushing your thighs just below your cutoffs. 
You’d made your way upstairs, hoping to sneak past Mr. Kim and your own parents and make it unscathed to your own bed. You wanted nothing but to sleep for the next fourteen hours. Or years. 
You got busted at the top of the stairs. Luckily, it was Seokjin bustling around the kitchen, not his father.
He had taken one look at you and started laughing, low in his belly. “Too much fun?”
“Shut up,” you’d whined, literally covering your ears against the noise. “Or I will throw up again, I promise.”
Jin had smiled at you, open and easy. “Sit down, kid,” he’d said kindly, jerking his head towards the kitchen table. “I have an age-old remedy.” 
And actually? It had worked.
After drying your hair and throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt, you scavenge your kitchen. You have most of what you need, and you toss it all into a tote bag and hunt for your keys. You finally find them on the floor next to the kitchen counter - chances are you’d tossed them at the counter last night and missed - and head out.
Your parents are home when you let yourself in. They both stare at you, baffled, then exchange a sly, knowing look.
“You’re back, I see,” your mom says, something sneaky in her tone.
“Do you have any bean paste?” you answer. “I’m going to go make Minji hangover soup.”
Only one word was a lie.
This makes your mom laugh, and she rummages in her cabinets and helps you complete the list of ingredients you need. 
The Kims’ front door is locked, so you make your way around the side of the house and fish the key out of its hiding spot, letting yourself in the side door that leads to the kitchen. 
The house is still and quiet, and you try not to clang any pots and pans as you get to work. When you finish, over an hour later, you set up the table - a bowl of hangover soup, and a mug of steaming hot coffee, black.
You text Seokjin, “come to the kitchen”, and set your phone back down, turning to start on the dishes. 
You’re informed of his presence by his laugh. You turn, hands red under the hot water and covered in suds, to see him sitting down at the spot you’d set up. He looks up at you, amazed, an uncertain smile playing across his face. 
“It’s an age-old remedy,” you tell him seriously.
“You are…” he trails off with a quiet laugh and reaches for the coffee. 
You’d love to know the end of that sentence. 
When you finish the dishes - save for the pot with the remaining soup, still on the stove for when Minji wakes up - you pour your own mug of coffee and sit across from Jin, watching as he finishes his soup. He closes his eyes and sighs happily, then sets down his spoon reverently.
“Thank you,” he says, like a prayer, but also like a joke. “That was so needed.”
“Consider it payback,” you tell him. 
It feels different, sitting across the kitchen table. Different than sitting across that booth at the bar. Less charged. Like it wasn’t something physical burning between you, like you’d thought, but the need for catharsis, for apology. Even if you don’t know what he’s sorry for, even if you still don’t know what exactly happened with him two years ago.
He’s thinking about it too, apparently. He says your name quietly, and you look up to meet his eyes. You can read the apology all over his face. The house is still still and quiet, no one awake but you and Jin. Like no one exists but you and Jin.
You’ve felt that way before.
Sitting beside him in the basement. In the passenger seat of his car, driving through a rainstorm. In his backyard, in the dark, your breath visible in the air as it leaves your mouth in desperate puffs.
“I kind of wanted to talk,” he admits, and your stomach twists. Maybe you should have had some of the soup. “About -?”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you say quickly, already standing, already moving to gather up the tote bag you’d used to carry ingredients. You shrug back into your jacket, ignoring Jin’s wide-eyed look of surprise. “I should get going,” you say, still not looking at him. You go back to the kitchen door you’d entered through, picking up the key so you can return it to its hiding place outside. You pause on the threshold, turning, eyeing the stovetop thoughtfully. 
“Tell Minji you made the soup,” you instruct, and then you close the door behind you. 
Next ->
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Thank you so so much for reading - i hope you like this one as much as I do! Please don't feel shy about letting me know what you think!
Part 2: Retrograde will post next Friday, June 2nd. Hope to see you there!
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everybodyshusband · 7 months ago
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per aspera ad inferi ; chapter one
[aka: the university ghouls fic]
aeon & dew (ghost band)
general | gen | 1.7k words | alternate universe (university), transmasc aeon, slow burn, general domestic niceness
tagging @midnight-moth for the biscuit tin idea that makes an appearance in this chapter and also for cheering this au on <3 same goes for @divine-misfortune and @ghoultrifle, thank you for indulging me in my university ghouls rambles and adding to the brainrot <3 i hope this first chapter lives up to your expectations :)
snippet and ao3 link under the cut !!
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He smiles awkwardly and looks down at his lap. “Thanks, Mum…” He tightens his grip on the biscuit tin that’s resting on his knees. The two of them spent all of yesterday afternoon in the kitchen together baking batches upon batches of his favourite chocolate biscuits to take with him. The tin on his lap is filled to the brim but it’s barely half of what they made together, the rest are in a selection of reusable plastic containers, the idea being that once Aeon has eaten the biscuits he’ll be able to use the containers for storing things or bringing his own lunch to places instead of buying it. He takes the lid off of the tin on his lap and brings it to his nose, sniffing deeply. Chocolate. He’s sure over the next few weeks, he’ll come to associate the smell and taste of these biscuits with home and his mum but he doesn’t mind, there are much worse scents to associate with home, he reasons. He picks one of the biscuits up and silently offers it to his mum without looking away from the tin.
He doesn’t need to hear the smile in her voice to know that she’s glancing over at him briefly with that ever-knowing look in her eye. “Thank you, love. You should have one too, chase those nerves away with chocolate-y goodness.”
“I’m not nervous,” he lies, pointedly ignoring the weight of his mum’s gaze—the heaviness thankfully lessened due to the fact that she’s mostly focussing on the road. “...Okay fine, I’m a little nervous,” he admits, not that he needed to, given that the two of them already knew it, but it’s nice to speak the words out loud to an actual human for once. Up until now the only ‘person’ he’s admitted it to has been his favourite stuffed toy in the nights leading up to his departure, which, no matter how many different ways he thinks about, makes him feel ridiculously childish, despite the fact that he’s currently on his way to start university. He knows that lots of people his age and older still have stuffed animals and plushies of all varieties but he’s never met anyone that still talks to them in the way that he does. It doesn’t bother him much usually, but the fact that he’s going to be sharing a room with someone he’s never met before—someone who might judge him—is beginning to affect him more and more the closer he gets to campus.
“I can hear you thinking over there.” His mum’s voice breaks through the beginnings of his internal spiralling. “What’s going on, hun? Talk to me.”
“I’m just nervous about meeting my roommate,” he says quietly. “It’s nothing serious.”
[read the rest on ao3 !!]
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mistydeyes · 1 year ago
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sugar cubes with Price and f!reader pls <3
aww thank you for submitting anon! this prompt was too cute :)
link to the prompt list and 1k celebration! - closed now! thank you all for your submissions
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prompt: sugar cubes - they surprise you with your favorite dessert/sweet treat
pairing: John Price x gn!reader
warnings: none :)
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As you sat with an unfinished novel in your lap, you heard the front door open and the thuds of your boyfriend's shoes. "Back from the grocer's," John called and you closed the book before joining him in the kitchen. You smiled to yourself as you saw his back turned to you, leaning over the open refrigerator. He turned around as he felt your eyes on him. "Hi love," he greeted and you met his smiling face with a soft kiss. "How was it?" you asked and began to help him unpack. "Changed a lot since I was last here," he explained as you tossed him a bag of spinach, "the prices are bloody ridiculous." You laughed as he moaned about the price of meat and the seemingly decreased quantity in crisps' bags. "Happy you're back to civilian life," you mused and opened another one of your reusable bags.
You noticed a white box, wrapped with striped ribbon and pulled it out delicately. "John what's this?" you asked and he came up behind you to hold your waist. "Oh," he said with a smile, "saw a bakery on my way out." You couldn't help but hold the small box up to your nose and smell it. Your senses filled with the comforting sugary smell and you could hear John laugh behind you. "You can open it, love," he encouraged, "I promise it's not a trick." He put a head on your shoulder as you pulled at the striped ribbon. You put it to the side and opened the lid to reveal a lovely collection of desserts. You looked at the small pastries, adorned with glistening fruit and ornate edible flowers. You turned your head and planted a kiss on his cheek. "You are the sweetest, my love," you complimented and he nuzzled his cheek into yours.
"Even remembered to get you a slice of strawberry cake," he said gently and you smiled as you saw the two slices of your favorite dessert. "Made sure they gave me the best looking one." You couldn't help but dip your finger into the fluffy frosting and savor the sweet taste that had the slightest hint of strawberry jam. "Now, let's save those for dessert," he joked slightly and you pouted as he closed the lid of the box. He put it gently into the fridge and you continued to unpack the rest of the items. You both settled back on the couch before you got up to make some tea in the kitchen. "Don't sneak any more sweets!" he exclaimed as you walked away. You laughed before you replied to your caring boyfriend. "Haven't you ever heard of dessert before dinner, old man?"
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beautyandlifestyleblog86 · 1 year ago
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Ways to practice eco-friendly living in your home
1. Reduce energy consumption:
- Install energy-efficient appliances and LED light bulbs.
- Turn off lights and unplug electronics when not in use.
- Use natural light as much as possible.
- Set your thermostat to a lower temperature in winter and higher in summer.
- Insulate your home properly to reduce heating and cooling needs.
2. Save water:
- Fix any leaks in faucets and toilets promptly.
- Install low-flow showerheads and faucets.
- Collect rainwater for watering plants.
- Only run the dishwasher and washing machine with full loads.
- Use a broom instead of a hose to clean outdoor spaces.
3. Practice waste reduction:
- Recycle paper, plastic, glass, and metal.
- Compost kitchen scraps and yard waste.
- Opt for reusable products instead of disposable ones (e.g., cloth napkins, rechargeable batteries).
- Avoid single-use plastics, such as plastic bags and water bottles.
- Use a reusable shopping bag.
4. Use eco-friendly cleaning products:
- Choose natural, non-toxic cleaning products or make your own using ingredients like vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice.
- Avoid products containing harmful chemicals that can harm the environment and your health.
5. Grow your own food:
- Plant a garden to grow vegetables, fruits, and herbs.
- Use organic and natural fertilizers instead of synthetic ones.
- Compost food scraps to enrich the soil.
6. Opt for sustainable materials:
- Choose furniture made from sustainable materials like bamboo or reclaimed wood.
- Use eco-friendly flooring options like bamboo, cork, or reclaimed hardwood.
- Select paint and other finishes that have low or no volatile organic compounds (VOCs).
7. Reduce plastic waste in the kitchen:
- Use glass or stainless-steel containers for food storage instead of plastic.
- Replace plastic wrap with beeswax wraps or reusable silicone covers.
- Use refillable water bottles and avoid buying bottled water.
8. Conserve energy in the kitchen:
- Use energy-efficient appliances.
- Cook with lids on pots and pans to retain heat and reduce cooking time.
- Opt for smaller appliances like toaster ovens instead of full-sized ovens when possible.
9. Encourage sustainable transportation:
- Use public transportation, walk, or bike whenever possible.
- Carpool or arrange a car-sharing service with neighbors or colleagues.
- Transition to an electric or hybrid vehicle if feasible.
10. Educate and involve your family:
- Teach your family about the importance of eco-friendly practices and involve them in the decision-making process.
- Encourage everyone to adopt sustainable habits and lead by example.
- Discuss environmental issues and brainstorm new ideas for greener living.
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benevolentthorn · 6 months ago
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What water bottles I think the counselors would use
Laura: her old pink s’well bottle from middle school.
Max: thinks the reusable water bottle trend is dumb and just uses a plastic bottle.
Jacob: one of those sports Gatorade bottles with the nipple lid (idk how else to describe it 😭)
Emma: is one of those rich people that has a cabinet full of Stanley cups to match every outfit
Nick: his dad’s giant orange Nalgene bottle from the 90s. Should probably invest in an insulated water bottle considering he works in a kitchen in the summer.
Abi: A pink owala bottle she decorated with a bunch of keychains and stickers 💕
Dylan: a bright green hydroflask bottle that has a bunch of dents and is kind of ugly. He decorates it with a bunch of stickers which makes it a bit less of an eyesore. Has the straw lid.
Kaitlyn: also owns a hydroflask in purple but it’s not ugly like Dylan’s. Has the gulp lid.
Ryan: A grey camelbak bottle that he’s had for years. In much better condition than Dylan’s hydroflask because he’s not a klutz like Dylan.
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icequeen1371 · 5 months ago
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You can tell people that grew up, or are still middle income, or being taken care of by middle income, parents, or grew up in a house where there’s money. But they didn’t consider themselves rich or are rich. Just saw someone post something supposedly helpful. A list of 13 things people “usually have in their kitchen“ but can’t think of what to make for a meal. Meanwhile, no, not everyone has avocados and green bread or eggs let alone, fruits and vegetables in their fridge. Do you want to talk about making a meal? How about you? Talk about the bread, the ketchup, the mustard, no eggs, pasta, and maybe a can of pasta sauce, and a leftover container of butter in the fridge. Make some pasta, put a little bit of margarine on that to loosen up the noodles, a splash of sauce, couple of cheese slices to melt within the pasta stirred up at salt and pepper a bit of garlic powder some Parsley, because those are all found at the dollar store. And you have yourself a meal. If you do have eggs, you could put those on toast and make a toasted egg sandwich. If you’re lucky enough to have peanut butter in the house call me you can make a toasted peanut butter sandwich. A lot of it depends on bread. If you have no bread, depends on pasta. Pasta is really cheap but the dollar store. There’s not much room in a freezer when you’re low income because you deal with the freezer that you have in the apartment that you’re renting. So bread has to be a weekly thing, make sure you have $10 on top of the fridge or in the cupboard put away specifically to go buy bread every week. Because a lot of times if you don’t have bread, you can’t eat. Bags from the dollar store are a good thing, makes you feel like you actually have something to drink besides water from the tap. Get a bag of sugar and use it sparingly don’t have super sweet tea. Otherwise she’ll run out fast. Milk always runs out. That’s why I always kept a can of carnation milk in the cupboard just in case. You can always water it down for cereal if you’re desperate. If it’s cold, you can’t really tell. Canned vegetables, canned fruit. They can last along time you don’t have to worry about them. Going to waste in the fridge. Ramen noodles, there’s 1 million recipes for those out now. Get all your spices at the dollar store. Eggs and tuna are always great protein but don’t spoil fast. Learn how to love drinking water from the tap. Buy a case and refill the water bottles but don’t forget to clean the lids and the rims at least once a week and if the bottles get cloudy? Throw them out and save for another case. Yes, I said save because some people don’t have a three dollars to spend on a case of water or don’t want to spend the money on non-reusable plastic. You can always pick up some water bottles from the dollar store that are reusable and fill those up in your fridge. Just don’t forget to wash them with the dishes at least once a week. Can’t exactly offer those people when your mouth has been all over them. Lol so always make sure you at least have a couple bottles put away for guests. Get to love no name brand soda. When you have money to treat yourself get namebrand. But not like a case of it or something. And a case is always cheaper in the long run than just one 2 L bottle, so you can afford it ration it out. It’s not actually that bad. Cinnamon sugar on toast, a can of tuna mixed with a Lipton sidekick creamy Parmesan with half a can of peas, mix that up well with a little salt and pepper and you’ve got tuna casserole for two people. Three people if you have a little salad on the side. or you can make garlic bread. Even if you’re using slices of bread. Toast them, then butter them, add a little bit of garlic and herb seasoning to each one with a little handful of cheese, or even just some Parmesan cheese shaken on top. Let that toast, got some real cheap and garlic bread. Pretty tasty if you’re in a pinch. And you’re not bougie like people are now. I’ve had to put ketchup in hot water with half a can of mixed vegetables to make myself some soup before. Cheap eating is a skill.
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organicfarmfamily · 1 year ago
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Beautifully happy, healthy and sustainable 🌲🌳🤗
Good evening happy, healthy life seekers 🤗
There's no doubt, here at TOFF, our happy place is always outdoors.....we live in military cargo shorts and T's in Spring/Summer and military cargo pants and wool jumpers in Autumn/Winter merrily working and creating outside; turning our organic botanical day dreams into healthy food, animal shelter, flower power and natural products 😊
Budgets & Life Changes 💷🤔
Throughout the last few very turbulent years many of us have undergone huge, transformational life changes; personal relationships, work, homes, families, continents......and many find themselves in a position of 'starting over', a fresh, a new, in order to create a truly wonderful, happy and healthy new future.
With this in mind, budgets have become very constrained and some stress levels may have risen.
To calm our minds, bodies and to help with our financial pockets lifestyle changes can be made on a budget, always with health and happiness in mind 🤗
Here at TOFF our ethos is organic and this embodies; reuse, mend, recycle, rejuvenate, repurpose, relive!
Millions discard items considered no longer of use, this is great, we should all practice this..... a minimalist, clean, healthy home, man cave, sheshed, workshop which is organised and free of clutter actually helps those stress levels come tumbling down 🤗🎉🙌
It also presents an opportunity to acquire items for free or only very few pounds....... don't be afraid to barter or ask if the seller could gift them to you / reduce their price......you'd be surprised 🎉
Repurpose, Rejuvenate, Relive ,🤗
TOFF tips :-
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Old timber windows ~ often disused, left in a skip, at the side of the road or advertised on free cycle sites!
These make a great cold frame for growing your lovely organic foods ~ a complimentary mini greenhouse 🎉🥕
Very often soil and timber are also given away for free.
Your only financial outlay maybe a few screws, hinges and organic seeds then hey presto a weekend project will yield a happier you and food too 🥕🌿🎉
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Cardboard egg cartons, toilet paper rolls, kitchen paper rolls ~ ideal for growing seeds 🌿
Fill the rolls with compost and place in the egg carton,
Sow the seeds directly into each roll, water and allow to germinate,
Ideally maintain a temperature of 18 degrees Celsius/ 64 degrees Fahrenheit,
As soon as the seedlings have germinated and are ready to plant out, the rolls can be planted directly into the soil and they will biodegrade, the carton can also be either reused or planted into the soil too 🎉🌿🥕🍒🍓
Go natural ~ make your own 🌴🪥😬
TOFF tips:-
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Toothpaste ~
2 tablespoons of coconut oil
1 tablespoon of baking soda
6 drops of peppermint oil
6 drops of lemon oil
6 drops of teatree oil
Mix well, into a paste and place in a recycled, steralised dry jar with a lid 🙌🪥😬
Deodorant ~
500 ml bicarbonate of soda
500 ml potato flour / cornflour
500ml coconut oil
5-10 drops of your favourite essential oil......our favourite is Jasmine 🌸
Mix all the ingredients together, if the coconut oil is hard, melt it over a waterbath. Place in a recycled steralised jar with a lid, apply using a reusable cloth cotton pad or reusable spatula 🥥 🌸
We love sharing our tips and recipes with you, as always, if you have any top tips or questions we would love to hear from you 🤗 feel free to email us :- [email protected]
Take great care of you, don't be to hard on yourself or others, kindness always happy healthy life seekers 🤗
Much love,
TOFF x
🌳🌿🌲🌳🌿🌲🌳🌿🌲🌳🌿🌲🌳🌿🌲🌳🌿
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amzproducts · 1 year ago
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Trending in Home & Kitchen Today - Amazon
#1: Stanley IceFlow Stainless Steel Tumbler with Straw
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STAY HYDRATED FOR THE WHOLE DAY: This large tumbler with lid and straw can hold 20 oz of thirst-quenching beverage to power you through your longest days; Perfect for drinking water, smoothies, or iced coffee; Just fill it up and get on with your day
KEEPS COLD FOR A LONG TIME: Constructed with double-wall vacuum insulation and 18/8 stainless steel, your drinks will stay nice and chilled for 12 hours or iced for up to 2 days. Plus it can take a beating and is 100% free of BPA material
STRAW PERFECTED: Say goodbye to disposable straws that are flimsy and wasteful, or reusable straws that make a mess when tipped over. Our exclusive IceFlow flip straw allows effortless sipping and is leakproof when closed, just snap it shut and you are done. At least 10% of our lid’s material is made of recycled fish nets to keep our planet healthy
MADE TO FIT YOUR LIFE: The ergonomic, rotating handle lets you quickly grab this cute tumbler with straw and go; Fits comfortably in most cupholders in your car or on most exercise machines; Easy to clean and dishwasher safe; It's the indispensable companion to bring with you anywhere
#2:  Folding Chaise Lounge Chair 
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The dimension of the chaise lounge chair is 74.8"x23.2"x 13.3"-14.5", fits tall and heavy duty people. Packed size: 29.9"x5.9"x23.6", weight 14.5lbs. Tri-fold design is easy to store and carry.
#3: Spectracide Weed and Grass Killer
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KILLS WEEDS AND GRASSES: Use on driveways and walkways, and around fences, trees, flower beds, shrubs and other listed areas
ACCUSHOT SPRAYER: Includes continuous power sprayer with extendable wand
#4: Fly Traps Indoor
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Fly trap indoor come with smart band change mode with 7 wavelengths in total, It will automatically switch every 15 minutes, can attract different bugs
Fruit fly trap uses simple physical principles to catch and kill insects, which is safe for people and pets
#5: MHCC 5-Speed​ Electric Hand Mixer
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『POWERFUL AND LIGHT WEIGHT』The hand mixer has a powerful and quiet all-pure copper motor, It’s lightweight housing with soft-touch handle, comfortable and secure grip while mixing.
『PRECISE 5 SPEED 』5 Speeds and turbo function: well-defined speed control for any recipes.
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atplblog · 16 days ago
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Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details) [ad_1] Elevate your snacking and entertaining experience with this versatile and practical divided serving tray. Crafted from durable, transparent plastic, it features multiple compartments to neatly organize a variety of treats, from savoury nibbles like nuts and dried fruits to sweet indulgences like candies and chocolates. The convenient lid keeps everything fresh and contained, while the ergonomic handle allows for easy transport. Whether hosting a party or enjoying a solo snack session, this tray offers a stylish and hygienic way to present your delectable offerings. With its modular design, you can also separate ingredients for meal prep or portion control. Lightweight yet sturdy, this serving tray is a must-have for any modern kitchen or entertainment space. Versatile Design: This clear divided serving tray with lid and handle is perfect for serving a variety of snacks, appetisers, dried fruits, nuts, vegetables, and more at parties or gatherings. Convenient Portability: The round plastic tray features a secure lid and comfortable handle, allowing for easy transportation and preventing spills. Separate Compartments: With multiple compartments, you can neatly organise different food items, keeping them fresh and separated. Reusable and Durable: Made from high-quality plastic, this food storage container is reusable, easy to clean, and built to last. Compact Storage: The tray's compact design and stackable compartments make it space-efficient for storage in your kitchen cabinets or pantry. [ad_2]
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partsfe · 2 months ago
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Miroil 2066 Oil Filter Pot/Lid-With/Casters | PartsFe
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The Miroil 2066 Oil Filter Pot/Lid-With/Casters is a versatile and efficient tool designed for storing and filtering used cooking oil. This filter pot features a convenient lid and built-in casters for easy mobility, making it a valuable asset for commercial kitchens. The high-quality filtration system effectively removes food particles and debris, ensuring clean and reusable oil. By using this filter pot, you can reduce waste, save money on oil purchases, and contribute to a more sustainable kitchen environment.
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lucy-mors · 2 months ago
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Brite Concepts BPA Free Reusable DOLPHIN On the Go SNACK BOX - New/Sealed.
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lankira · 11 months ago
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When I started structuring my life around my ADHD, a lot of parts of my life got SO MUCH BETTER.
In addition to the ADHD, I have a bunch of other mental health issues plus chronic pain. In order to better work with those issues, I have...
Labeled the outside of my kitchen cabinets. This keeps me from leaving the cabinet doors open, even accidentally. Apparently, that habit came from the "out of sight, out of mind" thing ADHD can do.
Created a "dump station" inside the front door. Keys, hats and gloves, reusable mask, and shoes go here as soon as I get home. Two steps further, and I have a place for my coat.
Started keeping a pair of sunglass and night driving clip ons for my glasses in the car, and another in the dump station.
Started keeping two sets of notes that are always with me: a bullet journal (not a fancy one, just the original Bullet Journal Method) for physical notes and an Obsidian vault with sync for digital notes.
Started a Project to reorganize my office with the mindset of "how can I easily put this away" instead of "how can I easily get this". I'm planning a whole-ass post about this, but for now let's just say this: I use labeled, stacking boxes with lids that I then place on open shelving. They are labeled by category, making it easy to find what I need. But, more importantly, putting things away is literally "find the right box, dump the things in the box, put lid on box, put box on shelf." Often I skip the find box step because I just keep the box I'm working with out. (added benefit: this is also getting me to pare down and declutter ahead of moving)
Started putting "take meds" and "brush teeth" on my daily task list. Both of these are things I forget to do, so having them on my list means I remember to do them more often.
Started keeping a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and flossing picks in every bathroom in the house. This helps with that forgetting to brush my teeth thing.
All this has led to better dental health, better mental health, less time spent looking for things, and an easier time putting things away!
this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it
buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell
leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist
put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.
when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!
plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.
if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge
if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.
its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.
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williamsanderson123-blog · 2 months ago
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White Personalized Sipper Bottle
White Personalized Sipper Bottle
Staying hydrated is essential for maintaining good health, and having a reliable water bottle can make all the difference. Our White Personalized Sipper Bottle combines functionality with a touch of personal flair, making it the perfect accessory for anyone on the go.
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