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connan-l · 3 years ago

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Crossing the Milky Way

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Lingji Liu/Aysha

Summary: Lingji cannot sleep because of some old pictures of the stars making some bittersweet feelings resurfaces, but thankfully she doesn’t have to be all alone with them.

[Femslash February 2022 Day 8: Constellations]

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: Trying to make a new tradition of writing a F/F Ciconia ship for every FemFeb lol. This is for Day 8: Constellations, from those prompts! Though as it is often the case with my FemFeb stuff I don’t like it much orz. But I’m still glad to have been able to write anything at all given how little energy and motivation I have lately! So yay

Anyway, it’s going to be almost 2 years since I last played the VN now (cry) and I don’t remember if they ever mention anything about the state of the stars or of the sky in Cico-verse so sorry if there’s inconsistencies, but given how bad the climate and the pollution is after WW3, I’m guessing it… must not be great. I wanted to make more references to Chinese astrology/constellations initially, but then I don’t know THAT much about it and it can be a bit complicated so I didn’t want to make mistakes.

This takes place somewhere within Phase 1 after Miyao & co creates the chivalry order (but before everything goes to hell, obviously), sooo brief spoilers if you haven't finished it I guess? And there's no particular content warnings except for vague mentions of war/child soldiers, which is kind of obligatory par with this story anyway.

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Her eyes were starting to grow weak.

It was way too late, and Lingji had been staring at those old photographs for much longer than she’d planned. She really should just go to bed now — but her mind refused to let it go. Her fingers gently traced the speckles of lights and white on the decrepit glossy paper, frozen sparkles of a time forgotten, and as she did so a strange feeling blossomed in her heart.

She looked behind her, towards the large windows that harbored the hall she’d been resting in. Outside the military base, it was completely dark — and while the lights of the faraway city illuminated the surrounding well enough, there was no sign of stars in the sky above. Well, it wasn’t like she had expected it to be otherwise. It was how it had always been, since even before she was born — since even before her parents, her grandparents were born.

Being able to see the stars at night had become a rarity in this world. It was possible only in a very few specific, key isolated places, completely cut from all civilization, that had managed to be slightly spared from the pollution and the environment damage of World War III. But Lingji had never visited such a place, so she couldn’t attest of its veracity.

The only stars she’d ever seen were on pictures, sparse remnants of the past from before the war, such as the ones she was holding in her hands. It made her feel odd and melancholic, like she was in possession of something incredibly precious and common at the same time.

“Princess?”

A voice she knew intimately well got her out of her thoughts, and when she raised her head she saw Aysha walking down the corridor towards her. She was wearing casual clothes, a pretty elegant nightgown long enough to brush her feet, as if she was about to go to sleep… or maybe had been sleeping and had just woken up. Lingji had been the same a few hours prior; ready to go to bed, brown braids undone and golden nightgown put on, but in the end she hadn’t been able to close her eyes, not since her grandfather had given her this box full of ancient photographs. She didn’t know how late it was now exactly, but she knew it must’ve been quite bad if Aysha were staring at her with this much surprise.

“My, that’s really you,” her teammate continued, as if she had thought her sight had been tricking her. “What on earth are you doing so late outside your room?”

“I was… well, I got busy with something and couldn’t concentrate in my room.”

Aysha’s eyes narrowed in a malicious or teasing way; Lingji was never really able to tell with her. “Is that so? If a supervisor were to see you out there like this, you’d be badly scolded. Is our princess starting to become a delinquent?”

Lingji chuckled softly, but she didn’t really feel in a mood where she could humor Aysha’s teasing, her eyes still clinging to the photos between her hands.

The other girl stopped in front of her, and stayed silent for a moment. Then her gaze fell on the pictures Lingji was holding, and she tilted her head.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, not particularly…”

“Then what are these?”

“Ah, they’re… pictures my grandfather lend to me. Pictures of constellations, that dates from before the war.”

Aysha’s turquoise eyes widened, in a way that was very unusual to see on her face. “Wait, you mean these things are at least one hundred years old?”

“Apparently, yes. Grandfather told me they have been carefully conserved by our family for decades. He recently found them back and thought I’d appreciate to look at them.”

“Huh. Well, if they’re from the Liu family, no wonder they were able to get preserved for such a long time.”

There were thorns hidden in Aysha’s words. There almost always were thorns hidden in every single one of her words; Lingji was well-aware of that. A needle soaked in poison — not to kill or even hurt, but bitter enough to make you wince as if you’d just drink vinegar.

Lingji knew that most of the time, Aysha didn’t like her very much. From time to time, when she looked at her, when their gaze crossed, she could see a myriad of conflicted feelings shine in her eyes; jealousy, annoyance, resentment, grudge.

Lingji wasn’t the best at reading others, but even she had been able to realize this after a while.

But she didn’t know how to deal with that, so she just kept coming back to her ignoring the issue.

“Are you knowledgeable about stars and constellations, Aysha?”

“Hah. Not for the life of me, Princess. The only thing I could tell you is if they look pretty or not.”

Lingji’s expression softened, and she smiled. “So? Are they pretty?”

She turned the pictures towards her friend, and Aysha arched one eyebrow. For once, she seemed to hesitate a little; a rare sight to behold. “I… suppose so. But it is hard to tell with only this old picture.”

“It is, isn’t it…”

Lingji sighed, then let her gaze fell once more on the old, dead immortalized sparkles that had shined a century ago. She heard a faint sigh, then suddenly the cushion on the bank next to her flattened before she realized Aysha had just sat to her left. She was so close that Lingji could feel their shoulders brush each other.

“Grandfather Tiankai once told me… that in ancient China, my people held constellations in very high regard. They considered that someone who could read the stars could read the future. That they could rule China.”

“Hmm… then what about you?”

“Huh?”

“Can you? Read the stars.”

Lingji lifted her head, golden eyes crossing turquoise ones. Aysha was staring straight at her with a strange mischievous expression, and she felt as if she was being tested.

As if she was asking her if she was worthy to lead them, to lead Baibao, to be a Gauntlet Knights, a master of the chivalry order Miyao had just created.

Lingji had been raised to be a leader; that had been decided, drilled into her from even before she was born. She never doubted it, and was confident in her abilities. That was how others had always saw her too, be it her parents and grandparents, Momotake, the other Gauntlet Knights, the other soldiers — she was at the very top, and all respected her as such.

All but Aysha. She would never voice it out loud, would never show it openly, but she’d learned, through little hints and gestures, that the other girl refused and challenged her birth-bestowed authority at every turn.

And somehow, while under every other circumstances, in front of any other person, Lingji never wavered in who she was and what she was capable of, she did in front of Aysha.

“I…” She swallowed. “I cannot. I can… maybe recognize two or three of them, but…”

“Hm. Well, yes, that makes sense. It’s not like we can practice a lot over there, huh.”

As she spoke, Aysha turned around and looked at the complete darkness of the sky through the window, like Lingji had just done a little while ago. For a moment, a heavy silence installed itself between the two of them, and finally Lingji hesitantly moved her lips.

“Do you wish we could still see the stars?”

Aysha didn’t look away from the sky as she answered: “No.”

“No…?”

“I mean… I guess it’d be nice, cause it’d mean our world wouldn’t be as polluted as it is currently. But… I don’t really care for the stars myself. No offense, Princess, but I think your people of ancient China were a little silly. Someone reading the stars can in no way rule over anything.”

Lingji stared at her for a while, then smiled, even if Aysha still couldn’t see it.

“I… wish we could. I wish we could still see the stars and the constellations.”

Aysha snorted. “Of course you do. That’s just like you. Always dreaming.”

“Is that a bad thing? I just wish… You know, I just wish we could’ve gotten to admire the stars in the sky, just like our ancestors did. I wish we’d be able to fly as high as those stars, too. Our gauntlets can only go so far.”

“And what would you do then, all up there? It’d be boring as hell, if you ask me.”

Lingji laughed out loud at this, and Aysha looked up at her curiously.

“Well, that is just a dream, after all.”

She reached out her hand, and took Aysha’s in hers. That seemed to take her teammate off guard, as she widened her eyes with a start. She was usually always putting on this meticulous, cunning joker facet contrasting Momotake’s earnest and open personality, so that wasn’t often Lingji was able to surprise Aysha and get a reaction like this out of her. However, in this instant, just for a second, she looked very vulnerable; and she couldn’t really tell because of the dim light, but she could’ve sworn she even saw her blush.

More importantly, she didn’t try to disentangle her hand away.

“I’m… not saying I don’t completely understand that,” Aysha suddenly said, frowning slightly and looking back at the window. “It would nice, to fly to the stars and… maybe be able to start again in another, completely new planet. A completely new world.”

But that’s just not realistic. She didn’t say that part out loud, but Lingji could hear it all the same. Because, unlike her, Aysha wasn’t a dreamer.

“Heheh. Does that mean you’d come with me, then? Across the Milky Way?”

“If you find a way to do it, who knows. Maybe. Maybe not.”

Lingji wasn’t as much of a dreamer to think that something like that was actually possible. But, sometimes, impossible dreams were the only thing that was able to keep you alive.

Without saying a word, she let her head fall on Aysha’s shoulder. She could feel her body tense at her contact; feel her breath on her forehead; feel her fingers intertwined with her own.

There was still no sound and no other people in the corridor, just the two of them, in the middle of the night with pictures of dead constellations in their hands, in front of a black, starless sky.

Even so, the Milky Way must still be somewhere out there, hidden deeper and farer, concealed from their eyes. It must still exist, even if it was inaccessible to their broken world.

Lingji felt at peace thinking like this. No matter how much Aysha might dislikes her, she loved her and felt safe by her side, more than with anybody, and that was enough for now. Aysha helped the dreamer she was to stay grounded, helped her be the leader she wasn’t in her eyes. She wondered if she was aware of how much she was irreplaceable to her.

Still, she said nothing about it. A part of her felt Aysha wouldn’t take it well if she were to say this to her right now.

Reaching Aysha’s feelings felt as difficult as crossing the Milky Way and be able to see those hidden stars, but at least Lingji could keep dreaming about it.

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loyally-unfaithful · 4 years ago

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—; but “sentimental boy” is my nom de plume

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

summary: it has been a year after the android revolution. humans and android alike settled down, an olive branch was offered as a sign of reconciliation. with newfound peace came along newfound love, and many open roads to choose from. this was no different for the rk800—connor. surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he decided to continue working at the dpd, this time as a bonafide detective. but he has also accepted the thrilling uncertainty of life that deviancy has brought; the same strings that brought his lover in his life.the same ones he hated and cursed, the same fates who ripped it all away.

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

maybe if you asked him one year ago whether he’d consider returning someone’s feelings, romantic feelings, he’d reply to you with a placid smile and a polite « i’m sorry, i wasn’t programmed to reciprocate romantic interest. ». he remembered that he’d sneer at them internally. now thinking about it, long before he questioned his obedience towards her, he already showed signs of deviancy.

you did what you were designed to do.

memories from his past would still torment him erratically, doubts would resurface on particularly dark days. but you were the light that cut through that haze. this wasn’t a “fake deviancy”. it couldn’t have been. not when he is holding your body so close to his, warmth radiating off of each other, two heartbeats—similar, but different—thrumming together. all the softly whispered and adoringly announced « i love you »’s; all the quick and coveted pecks and all the feverish and passionate kisses. no, he was alive, he was sure of it—alive and absolutely enamoured by you. all semblance of doubt ebbed away when you entered his life.

whenever he’s around you, he feels more alive: you make him feel everything, all the little precious things. tenderness and adoration when he shares tranquil mornings with you. he feels more alive when he’s with you, all the little habits and routines too endearing: the sweet post-it notes scattered over your shared flat; scribbled upon it are encouraging words or sweet nothings. conflicting work schedules meant that moments spent together were scarce, but that made them even more valuable and coveted. captivation, was another emotion that he felt around you. your mannerism, your dreams and interests, your physical attributes and quality of voice. logically speaking, you were just another human, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you’d live and then one day, you’d die. as if you never really existed. but he wasn’t being logical. how could he be? when you were right there in front of him? you made him irrational, and he found that new aspect in life thrilling. confusing at first, but exciting. he was eternally grateful that you let him experience all these beautiful emotions with you. he was grateful that you allowed him in your short journey that you called life.

he was happy, absolutely content, with his shared life with you. you were both in perfect places in your respective lives: you both had a stable job, loving family backing you up, and a fulfilling love life. what seemed to be a mismatched couple at first turned to be 2 pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their place. life for the both of you couldn’t be better.

but along with the many exquisite moment that your romantic endeavours brought you, the android didn’t only taste the sweet delicacies of life; no matter how idyllic a moment may be, there were times when he had to taste the astringent and sour desserts life offered.

anger. that was an emotion that he felt. but that’s not accurate, no… it was frustration and shock and betrayal, all the unsavoury feelings in the world. perhaps it was due to his inexperience, maybe his lack of exposure to these negative sentiments, that caused him to snap the way he did. to hurt you the way he did. but it happened and there was no turning back the clock.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he was proud that you got the job offer in canada, he really was. and he, like any other caring boyfriend would, offered to accompany you there, an offer which you gladly accepted. that was the plan. but plans were difficult to follow. crime waits for no man, working for the law meant that connor must always be available for duty. no excuses, he was an android. but connor wasn’t just a simple android detective, no, he had a much more important role: he was the link, the messenger, between jericho and the police force. he was the crucial communication between the two forces. so when jericho contacted him about threats of anti-android attacks, he had to make an appearance at their base. the meeting coincided with the day you were meant to travel to canada. it was a simple trip really. it only took a few hours by train, stay in canada for 2 days (it was the weekend), and then return back to detroit, probably arriving in the late afternoons to their home.

but you were looking forwards to traveling with your wonderful partner after « [we] spent so much time apart ». the day he told you the urgent change of plans, connor was tired, overwhelmed. you were frustrated and expectant. a fight was bound to have erupted. accusatory statements, along the lines of: « you don’t actually care about me! it’s all about work and work and work! » and « i can’t believe how selfish you’re being right now! » in between shouting and yelling and frustration and anger and contempt–

you both went to bed exhausted but spiteful, still not forgiving each other. in hindsight, he felt so utterly pathetic, so unbelievably childish, for being that cruel, and uncaring. he didn’t want to be like him again. so many glares and insults were thrown at each other, tears threatened to spill, LED flashed and shone a true red, doors were slammed. he felt awful, plain and simple. you both lied in the same bed, under the same cover. so close yet so excruciatingly far apart. back facing the other’s, no one said a word.

you woke up before him. bitter and unhappy. no morning kisses, no whispered « i love you » to wake your other half. you wordlessly got yourself ready, grabbed your bag and quietly snuck out. no post it notes were left. no sweet promises or encouraging words. you could do this work trip without him. you were independent. you didn’t need a tin can to chaperone you everywhere. so you left. plain and simple. gone. since you woke up and left earlier than planned, you boarded an earlier train. how lovely and convenient. the carriages were mostly filled with androids. perhaps they were trying to immigrate to canada like the others. who knows. you paid no mind and absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, obsessively checking your messages to see if connor realised. to see if he apologised. because frankly, at that point you were tired of being mad and just wanted to spend the day in his arms. but prideful and petty as you were, you weren’t willing to apologise and admit your mistakes first.

connor roused from stasis a few moments afterward, less bitter and more regretful. he wished to right his wrongs but the normally warm presence beside him was not there. his system was slowly booting back up when his audio sensor picked up an incessant ringing from the living room. he jolted up and rushed out to pick up the ringing phone call and waited for the other side to speak up.

the room was so utterly quiet, a silence so suffocating engulfed the room, that you could hear a pin drop. the voice on the other side asked whether this was indeed your house and that he was indeed connor anderson. he swallowed dryly and answered with a soft, « yes ». running a quick check in his database, he matches the caller’s voice with a certain nathaniel edwards. first responder. he allowed his HUD to display the news. if androids could get pale, have all their blood drain from their faces, his would have certainly done so. he stood, rigid and motionless, consumed by shock and horror.

the news and the first responder’s words blended into one as he gripped the phone tighter: « this morning, at 7:48 am the train from detroit to toronto was caught in a devastating turn of events: the train soon caught in fire and exploded as it made its way over the border. it has been confirmed that there has been 0 survivors. it is unclear whether this was an unfortunate accident or the result of anti-android terrorism. »

the other person’s voice poured through the speaker but he wasn’t listening. he stared blankly in front of him. no way, he thought, it couldn’t have been… the only sign that the android was registering the other man’s input was the now constant red LED.

« sir? sir. i’m sorry to bring this— – no, this isn’t right… you must have the wrong number, he interrupted. there were probably others with your name… maybe they were mistaken... – sir that’s not possible, w— – you must have gotten the wrong house… not… it-it couldn’t have been…» but he knew how improbable it was that they got the wrong number. he was built to be logical, to believe statistics. the statistics told him you were dead. long gone. he hoped and prayed that you stayed back, didn’t get on the earlier train. the statistics told him you did.

he choked out a response, quiet and defeated. you were gone. he’d never get to see you again. « i… i’m sorry… i-i don’t understand… – we tried our best to find them sir, but… the fire was too severe… if we gain any new developm— – you didn’t save them. »

still in a daze, he must have hung up on the poor man and unceremoniously dropped the phone. its clatter the only sound in this deafening silence. the reality of it all comes crashing through and he collapsed, ugly sobs escaping him as the denial faded away to make way for the pure and unfiltered grief. he felt lost. for the first time in a long while since amanda he felt so utterly and completely lost. no more shining beacon during his dark and stormy nights. no more valued affection and coveted kisses. no more notes and no more smile to come home to.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesisonly gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

but now he’ll have to get used to not coming home to a warm embrace. he’ll have to get used to going into stasis alone, in the cold bed. he’ll have to get used to his aching heart being greeted by an empty house. every cold and lonely nights. it’s ridiculous how human he felt because of you. and he was both thankful and spiteful for it.

sadness and bitter regret ripped through him when he remembered that he didn’t share goodbyes before he left. he remembered how he couldn’t have apologised to you and tenderly held you. he regretted not being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him for the last time. ra9 only knows the things he’d do and the things he’d sacrifice, just to have you in his arms again.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

like my work? consider buying me a coffee // checking out my masterlist | links can be found on my desc

#detroit: become human x reader #dbh x reader #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #connor dbh x reader #rk800 dbh x reader #falselywrites #crosspost from main acc

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pointedly-foolish · 5 years ago

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[ вut "sєntímєntαl вσч" ís mч nσm dє plumє ]

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

you did what you were designed to do.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesis only gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

like my work? consider ordering a commission // buying me a coffee // checking out my art tag or my masterlist | links can be found on my desc

#detroit: become human #connor detroit: become human #connor x reader #connor dbh #connor rk800 #falsely writes

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eightspotstudio · 2 months ago

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Happy WIPWednesday! Let's take another look at how Angel's sprites are coming along...

Hurr, barkbarkbarkbark 😍

#visual novel #wip wednesday #yaoi #yaoi bl #vn dev #indie game #indie vn #indie dev #bl vn #resurface vn

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nbapprentice · 5 years ago

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OK SO I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING UR BLOG WITHOUT CONTENT FOR A WHILE SINCE I THINK UR AWESOME. but the words "shall we date otome games" finally resurfaced things in me since I remember playing those when I was about 11. I'm not rly sure how to put my experience into words but like looking back a lot of the routes felt. rly stalkery??? like. sometimes the LI would randomly show up in ur room or something and it was super creepy. sorry for the ramble I just thought id share

of course.... tbh i should just start making a Romantic VN Bingo with “stalks the protagonist” right there

#actually i should make that when i have time #laugh thru the pain #asks #Anonymous

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thewhitedoorbandra · 2 years ago

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