#rest in peace Mamma Lucia
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I miss my Italian grandma.
She is the reason I love Ruby. Because they share the same personality.
This is the reason I am still in love with the adult version of a fictional character.
My Italian gran was the only healthy maternal figure I had growing up... And the only person to love me unconditionally in my entire life.
... And I'm afraid it will stay that way, with how things are going...
...
There. I said it. The cat is out of the bag.
May the budding rose she imprinted in my heart stay intact and safe, even though it will likely never get to bloom...
All the other bad imprinting, represented by roots of all evil, has / have been removed.
This rosebud is the only living flower standing in the middle of the snowy clearing and scenery inside my soul.
I will cherish this rose forever, with all I have.
#grief#that I processed#some things about how I processed it are better left unsaid#but some WR art was involved#is all im gonna say#it only took me like#7 years to figure this out#I know why I love Ruby#and at least for once it's for the healthiest reason ever#rest in peace Mamma Lucia#forever missed#she was too good for this world#she offered food to a burglar that broke into her house once#that's the kind of person she was#love incarnate#or maybe she was an angel if angels even exist#and yeah#RWBY and Whiterose is how I resolved my complicated grief#the artist of the WR piece gets no credit because even though they are a good artist they're still... not a good person#thank you Monty#RWBY helped me heal from 70% of my trauma#I hope he met her maybe#in the afterlife#where all of the people that have a special place in my heart are waiting for me#soon we will be together again#the universe has a sick and twisted sense of humor#and quite frankly it can go fuck itself#sometimes I think “I'm still here but at what cost...?”#my heart is beating louder than ever before and I feel alive#alive... and so fucking bored. God why am I so bored now that all the trauma and inner torment is gone?
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