#respect the privacy if you truly love them

[keepmycandleburning]

An addition to my post about how Voldemort is really invested in other people's love lives: Voldemort has no respect for people's privacy or bodily autonomy, and likes to insert himself into people's space and force people to have a more intimate relationship with him than they desire.

He uses this as a form of punishment, knowing it makes people uncomfortable, and also as a form of entertainment because he finds their discomfort amusing.

He lived on the back of Quirrell's head for almost a YEAR as a punishment after Quirrell failed to steal the Stone from Gringotts. A YEAR. IMAGINE WHAT HE SAW. Quirrell could not have done ANYTHING without Lord Voldemort seeing it and hearing it. I mean he was there when he was using the toilet, masturbating, etc etc. And imagine if Voldemort could also feel all of Quirrell's bodily sensations.

Voldemort forced Wormtail to care for him like a helpless baby, again for almost a YEAR, hand-feeding him and picking him up and God only knows what else, when they could have easily done the resurrection ritual really at any point in time—even if he truly wanted nobody but Harry, Barty Jr. could have brought him from Hogwarts.

Voldemort is clearly amusing himself with the situations at this time, making multiple jokes in just the couple scenes he's in:

'Care for my bodily needs for me,' is such an insane punishment to give Wormtail (definitely a punishment, for being a traitor which Voldemort hates and maybe other reasons) and I do wonder if he also did this to the Malfoys in DH, like forcing them to make him food and watch him eat and so on. It's just so weird to imagine that because he seems so inhuman but I mean, he does it in GoF so...

He also has Wormtail approach him and dress him by hand when he comes out of the cauldron naked instead of just bending down and picking up the robes himself:

He makes interestingly similar comments in the GoF baby era and at Malfoy Manor in The Dark Lord Ascending:

Asking his servants a question he knows damn well the answer to is 'it makes me uncomfortable to have this level of proximity with you,' and forcing them to falsely claim they have no problem with it and they actually want it.

He appears to have literally moved into Lucius's house with him, or at the very least is using it as a professional base. I almost always see people interpreting it as that Voldemort lived at Malfoy Manor, which I don't necessarily think has to be true, but I think it's a fine interpretation, and I enjoy it.

With both Wormtail and the Malfoys, Voldemort forces them to witness him in a domestic setting, forces them to claim they want it, and makes them aware that he knows that they hate it, which he knows is terrifying.

While he's at Malfoy Manor, he inserts himself into their family business (as discussed in linked post), commenting on a marriage in the family, speculating on what children the couple is going to have and what relationship the children will have with the Malfoys. We can see he's clearly using this to amuse both himself and the group of Death Eaters, as he makes multiple jokes (implying Bellatrix may be happier about her family member marrying a werewolf than she is about Voldemort's presence, asking Draco if he is going to babysit the cubs) and allows the DEs to laugh.

He also turns Bellatrix's complimentary but not overly inappropriate comment into what I think is unquestionably a sexual innuendo, and then immediately intentionally embarrasses her and induces a group of almost all men to laugh at her:

Regarding Bellatrix, there's often a misconception of viewing Voldemort as someone who would not stoop to a certain level of bodily intimacy or give up his own privacy—but he shares an entire body with Quirrell, he willingly gives up all of his autonomy/privacy with Wormtail, he even rises out of the cauldron fully nude (could have been done privately, I mean the Riddle House is right there, just carry the blood up the hill) and forces Wormtail to again interact with his naked body (and his real one now, not just the baby one) to dress him. So yeah he very much would, and he does, over and over. Voldemort gets bottle-fed and probably diaper-changed for 11 months but noooo he'd never have sex. Be serious. Voldemort takes every physical intimacy he's offered and much more.

Also just want to note that Voldemort is prone to discussing people's personal lives also in situations where it is wanted. For example, Barty Jr. reveals at the end of GoF that they clearly had some personal conversations about Barty's relationship with his father where Voldemort also offered information about himself. Voldemort definitely seems to know Bellatrix personally, and I would very much guess they've had personal conversations. And also the conversations with Snape about Lily (see last post too)—when Snape comes to him about sparing her, they have a thorough enough conversation that Voldemort believes Snape just 'desired her' and then they follow up later about how there are better women for Snape. He likes other people's business!

Overall, I very often read Voldemort as doing things for a major purpose of entertaining himself. He seems to find amusement in many different situations he's in and make jokes to himself and others. His tendency to overstep boundaries of bodies and personal space—both intentionally and by necessity—is one of these things.

[stormblessed95]

Happy new year Storm! I hope this ask isn't too long and sprawling. These events took place when I was younger, a bit more foolish about how to behave online as a fan. But it might be illuminating for some of your more aggressive anons, lol.

This thing we keep being pummelled with (about Jikook 'not being sighted together' so therefore not being together) is so tiring.

I remember a few years back I had spent some time in a forum dedicated to another 'are they, are they not' queer couple. Western celebrities, nothing to do with kpop. I was a fan of both these people independently, so I got very curious and intrigued about the idea of them together. On this forum, there was a lot of trying to line up dates of official events/second hand accounts from friends of friends who said they had seen Person A with Person B but never got pics, etc. It was like trying to pin down water in some cases, which frustrated people on the forum who were desperate for 'solid evidence', real confirmation.

One day, a very-famous good friend of Person A, perhaps more famous than either member of this speculated couple, came into my place of work, which was pretty darn exciting on its own. It also contradicted some narratives held on that forum regarding who was where and in which countries at what times. And that made me wonder how many other times that had been the case.

Now naturally, my initial plan was to report back to this forum and tell them about briefly meeting Famous Friend at my work. This was a Mild Scoop after all, another piece to the puzzle, a correction to the records. But a few things stopped me from doing it. I had no photo evidence that this person had been there at all, so it was another 'useless' unverifiable sighting.

But much more importantly, I realised if I posted ANY SPECIFICS WHATSOEVER about who it had been and where it was, then fans with fewer boundaries than I would be able to use my information to stalk. A very determined person could probably even have used the information to figure out whereabouts Famous Friend lived. Famous Friend was apparently a semi-regular at this place, on this occasion they had been with what seemed to be an older family member, and they were clearly dressed to go incognito. Hat and sunglasses indoors, etc. My place of work was somewhere they felt safe enough to go to repeatedly in their downtime, in the knowledge that they wouldn't be bothered or harassed by fans. I didn't want to be the person who ruined that small bit of normalcy for them.

So... I never posted anything to the forum. I just held onto the knowledge in my head that one particular thing wasn't true - Person A and Person B definitely DIDN'T meet with Famous Friend in Countryland at that point, because Famous Friend was in Placecountrytown at my work. I would simply never be able to prove it without compromising the privacy of people involved. And again, I wondered how many other times this could have happened with other people. Maybe this was why it was like trying to pin down water. Maybe that was a wonderful thing, actually.

Going back to Jikook - this is why it seems SO ENTIRELY BELIEVABLE to me whenever we hear that K-Army has stuff and keeps it LOCKED DOWN. That they see them a lot, but rarely let it leak to the international fanbase. That they know stuff we don't and will probably never know. The stakes are so much higher for Jikook if their relationship is a thing. I have no trouble at all believing that there are people all over Korea who have seen them out and about, but not wanted to be the weak link in the chain that breaks their bubble of privacy.

And not hearing about them going places, not seeing photographic evidence of friendships - does NOT mean they are not close. It means that people are doing the decent thing and saying nothing.

I know you know all of this already, but it seems some of your recent anons don't. Sorry again for the rambling message! 😶

I mean, the most recent and prime example is when that white Day photo leaked. Of Jikook with some friends out at a restaurant. K army was PISSED and so were so many other people. Fans started flocking to the restaurant and asking about jikook being there. Servers confirming that they used to come there and had gone there many times. But that they hadn't been coming back lately. And we had never heard of them going there before that leak, when staff stated that they had been coming multiple times before that. They stopped going once that photo was leaked. It was no longer a safe private place for them. Someone compromised that security for them and so they stopped going there. And for the most part k army (and j army too) are VERY protective of BTS, all 7 members. And I'm glad they are. I can't imagine the amount of exhaustion that comes from constantly having your privacy invaded and never knowing who is going to treat you normal or stalk you with their phones out whenever you leave the house. I'm positive all 7 of them, not just jikook, have safe places they like to visit and go to that give them that privacy and security too.

It's incredibly disrespectful to continuously invade their private time and their private life. And it's also incredibly disrespectful to assume they don't have one you aren't apart of because they are so famous. They will have their safe spaces and they deserve more of that. And they shouldn't have those spaces compromised.

[nathaslosthershit]

Teen Dad (OP81)

(Part 1 of the Blind Item Series) (Part 1 of the Teen Dad OP AU)

Summary: Rumors are flying about a young driver with kids

Seeing the rumor, and various other tweets commenting on the matter, first thing this morning was like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on him. Oscar immediately sat up, frightening his fiancée who was asleep next to him a moment before.

“What? What's wrong? Are you okay?” she asked, sitting up.

“Fuck this is not good.” He mumbled as he looked through more tweets. He knew he had minutes before his PR team started messaging him on how best to proceed. 

“Osc, you are really scaring me. What is going on?” His fiancée asked again. After 5 years together and two kids, she knew him well enough to know that Oscar isn’t easily woken up. While he usually wakes up early to train or help the kids, on days like today where he has the chance to sleep in, he will usually take it. But the amount of notifications he started getting were enough to get him to check his phone and once he saw the severity of the situation he was awake and alarmed. 

“A blind item about a ‘younger f1 driver with two kids he had as a teen’ just went up. No confirmation on who but it seems they have gotten it down to only a few of us. They don’t know yet but I am sure they will know soon.” 

He was grateful they hadn’t clocked in on him but Oscar was sure with a bit more time to dig people would put two and two together. He wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he was a teen dad, not anymore at least. When he was even more so an up and coming driver, he kept it hush because he was nervous being 18 with two kids would lead teams to reconsider where his priorities were, his family or his career. That wouldn’t have been crazy of them to do though, as important as racing was to Oscar, he would always pick his family first. Luckily, though, he had a great enough support system so he didn't have to choose. 

Most people in Oscar’s life knew. Any teams apart from Prema, Mclaren, and Alpine were none the wiser but why would they need to know? Not all drivers knew either, some who he had become closer to were let in on the secret, especially Logan, who had been there the entirety of his kids' lives. Annoyingly, at least in Oscar’s opinion, he has been titled ‘the cool uncle’ from day one. 

“What do we do?” his fiancée asked, snapping him out of his spiraling.

“I imagine it is up to my team to figure that one out. I’ll message them now. Get the kids ready and I’ll be done in time to help with breakfast.” He said as he got up.

After a long, pretty impromptu, call, it was decided Oscar would make a statement about it before it was revealed to be him. He wasn’t too happy about not getting to really do it on his own terms but this is the way it worked out, and hey, Oscar would be lying if he said he wasn’t already planning which race he was going to bring his kids to first.

oscarpiastri

liked by mclaren, logansargeant, landonorris, and 518,294 others

oscarpiastri This is of course not how I wanted to do this. I had hoped to have more time before I had to let the peace of privacy go but these things happen when you are in the spotlight. So yes, I am a father of two great kids and I have been since I was 18. I am not ashamed by the fact I was a teen dad, and am certainly not hiding my kids out of anything but love. I hadn’t realized I could truly love anything or anyone more than racing but then these two came into my life and I realized I would give it all up for them. Luckily, with the support of their mother (who is my fiancée) and my family, I didn’t have to give it up. My four person family means more to me than anything and I count my lucky stars each night that I have been blessed with them. I ask that you please respect our privacy. This isn’t the end of you seeing the Piastri twins but I, being the over protective father I am, am not ready to throw two 3 year olds into the chaos of the motorsport world just yet.

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Part 2: A Much Needed Interview out now!

[todaystarot]

What Will Your Future Child Love About You?

- a pick a card.

one two three

explanation.

I always see people say that there are many forms of love, not just romantic. Which, they are correct in. Yet, they still have a narrow view on it and refer to friendship as an example, or if they are big hearted their pet… Which is completely fine, I just felt a desire to create a pick a card that’s focused on love but none of those things. I never saw a pick a card with this topic before, neither on youtube or on tumblr. Could just be me though. Felt like making it anyway. If you don’t want children, that’s cool, I chose this topic because I would like to be a mother one day. This reading also applies to the first child you will have, or you know, the next one.

disclaimer.

Remember to take things with a grain of salt, and only take what resonates. Not because I don’t trust my skills, but because several people read pacs, what’s not meant for you could mean the world for someone else. Besides, this is for entertainment and the energy surrounding you or the overall situation could change any second. Life is unpredictable.

how to pick your pile.

There is always several ways to pick a pile, and sometimes maybe multiple call for us. You can pick the one that you can’t take your eyes off, even if there’s another picture you might find prettier. You can ask your guides to guide you in choosing a pile, or go with the old regular closing your eyes and picking whichever one your eyes land on. I usually do that too.

proof read?

Unfortunately no. Please know that I would never put anything in my PAC with harmful intentions towards you or anybody else.

one

You, my dear pile one will be so loved for so many reasons! It’s truly incredible. Even though you might not think that you will be an awesome parent - maybe now, maybe in the future -, trust me, your child will think otherwise! First of all, they will have this adoration towards you staying calm even in stressful situations and knowing how to handle things, how to take care of them and provide a solution and smooth things out. This is will make them feel safe next to you, and with time calm down as they see that you yourself are calm too. Of course, you wouldn’t always be calm, but you wouldn’t show even when you are scared so there is someone grounded in the situation that can take charge even if just on an emotional level. - I am saying this because your spouse will help you out when things are hard, not because you aren’t capable. -

Another thing here seems to be that you will respect their privacy and love life, as long as they are safe you will let them love safely and explore their interests as much as they need to in order to be happy. You let them be independent all while allowing them to rely on you and come to you when they need it. They know that this isn’t something everyone has, so they are all the more grateful to have someone like you as their parent. You are not invasive, you are not judgmental but so full of love, acceptance and understanding towards them. Maybe because you had a childhood where you weren’t happy, so you will do your best to give them everything good that you couldn’t get to have. Full of love, and they will remember it for the rest of their life.

📜 nine of swords, two of cups reversed, four of cups, page of swords reversed, queen of cups side ways, knight of swords side ways - facing the other way -, three of wands

confirmation.

high school musical , adele , nelly - dilemma , ‘i will love you till the day that I die , someone in this pile had to give up on their dream to be a singer/musical artist, hamilton, ‘vanessa open the door please’, ‘ (…)running out of time’ , 777 , city girl , virgo - do you have tummy issues? - , rihanna & eminem / asap rocky , pink nails but w a lot of charms , diverse pile

two

Alright, so I will be honest with you. Your next child will have some developmental issues, but not necessarily life threatening ones. - neither in a sense of d*ath or having trouble living on their own. they will just need a bit of help. - While asking your questions I stuttered a lot despite being calm, so I honestly think your child will have speech issues. Maybe potentially this could be genetic, or anything of the sort.. They will love you because even if you will have a hard time, where your mental health or emotional state will be tested you will never ever in your life will give them a hard time for whatever it is that they are struggling with. You will be loving, kind, gentle and patient with them. Instead of forcing them to learn in a pace which will stress them out you will be the one to learn how to understand what works best for them, and do that. They will really appreciate this. Honestly, regardless of whatever this issue is, I feel sorry because they have such a sensitive heart. Even if they shouldn’t, there is just some things they take to the heart and might feel like they are the problem even though they didn’t do anything. Such a pure child, the sort that’s very well behaved, kind to adults and friendly to their peers.. so these thoughts really could just come from overhearing and misinterpreting conversations or perhaps just overthinking. The funny thing is, I do think you would be their safe haven because they know you would never judge them no matter what heartbreak they are going through. It’s like they can’t imagine a life without you.

Now, I don’t mean to be an asshole or scare anyone unnecessarily. I am not a doctor and I will never be, but the ace of cups reversed here can represent miscarriages or pregnancy complications. So please if you are a woman look after your health. I don’t mean to scare you bc at the end of the day this is a collective general reading and we don’t know each other, but it’s always nice to look after your health regardless.

On a MUCH brighter note though, they will truly appreciate whenever you support their interests. They might be a book worm, so if this is something you two have in common they could happily share their interests with you! They will do it regardless, but your baby would get so excited if you show interest in them.

You will also stand next to them and support them no matter what they go through in life, let that be good or bad, which is something they will really appreciate.

📜 six of pentacles reversed, knight of pentacles, four of wands, ace of cups reversed, the heirophant, the high priestess, seven of pentacles

confirmation.

twilight , renesme , butterflies , cross necklace , bbc , orange hair and freckles - this is for someone who will have a little boy - , ocean green eyes , what was I made for - Billie Eilish , 5sos , ‘i bet on losing dogs’ , mother mary , flashing lights , genetic , obsession with beats / drums ? - not for the child, a reader in this pile -

three

Your child, will sometimes give you headaches.. but they will really love you. If you have ever seen modern family then they sort of remind me of Hailey in the earlier seasons. Bratty, picks fights, doesn’t always understand where her mom is coming from but sees all the hard work that she does and appreciates and loves her mother - both parents really - quite deeply. Not to say I am calling your child bratty, or a brat. That’s not where I am going with this, rather your guides pulled towards letting you know this first so you don’t misunderstand the rest of the reading.

They will, first of all, love that you will give them everything that you can. Y’all will be pretty well off. Not only will you guys be able to live comfortably but they will have a few unnecessary things that they don’t even need or probably forget about in a few years after getting it. They are not ungrateful, rather the opposite. They know this is a privilege, they don’t look down on those less fortunate than you guys, they are just grateful that they have a parent that cares about them so much they would give them everything they ask for, even if things aren’t always the brightest. You also, always, without any question get them out of any trouble or uncomfortable situation and defend them. Won’t matter if they are in the wrong or not, that’s your baby and you will stand by them!

They also love to travel with you! They enjoy your company a lot and to make memories, they always look forward to exploring the world with you. They might also follow you around like a little duckling, even if you only go to the store or to do some super boring errands. Honestly, your kid is an extrovert and super clingy. In a cute way though for sure.

Your dynamic with them reminds me of a tiktok I saw months back, where the teenage kid was piggy back riding the mom and she was annoyed as she recorded saying “look what I have to deal with”, but in reality she truly just appreciated the love. Such an easy going and regular pile, love that for y’all.

📜 nine of pentacles, seven of pentacles, the hermit reversed, knight of swords, four of wands, six of swords, three of wands

confirmation.

thrift shop - macklemore , old house in the balkans/europe in summer - ?? so specific, did you travel back to your home country in summer or planned to? - , moonlight , witch craft , snake , ‘i know a place we can escape ‘ , those fluffy slippers that are like plushies & soft pjs , airplanes , power wires , lime - & cheetos ?? -

[kateksmallcuteowl]

June 26: Soulmates/Soulmate Marks AU

Your mark shows how old will your soulmate be when you fall in love with them. (Meaning both romantically and sexually)

For an event by @bagginshieldweek24

More headcanons after the cut. Seriously, there’s a lot, as I developed a whole idea but had no time to write a fic because of exams.

— Dwarfs come of age in around 80 y.o., having a soulmate from another race is a very rare occurrence; throughout the history of Middle-earth, there have been at most a dozen such cases, so most dwarves are unaware of this possibility. Having a mark with a number younger than the age of majority is a lifelong shame, essentially an admission of pedophilia. Unfortunately, this happens more often than having a soulmate from another race.

— Thorin spent his entire adult life, from the moment the mark appeared, wearing an extra layer of bandages under his bracers to prevent anyone from seeing the number. Fortunately, among dwarves, it is not considered inappropriate to hide the marks, as many value their privacy.

— The mark and thoughts about it were the reason why Thorin often appeared especially gloomy when the topic of romance came up.

— He truly tried to compensate for his "defectiveness" with his virtues.

— Of course, Thorin is a virgin.

— Bilbo, on the other hand, didn't think much about this; hobbits don't see anything wrong with living without their soulmate or seeing their soulmate as a friend. They are generally a loving people and don't worry about the concept of "the one and only."

— Although the topic of soulmates is considered highly romantic in hobbit literature, Bilbo was somewhat disappointed when he realized he would likely never meet his soulmate. (Hobbits are also unaware of inter-racial soulmates.)

— I tried to make young Bilbo look more like Frodo, so here he has smaller curls and a different style of shirt.

— Thorin and Bilbo both hid their marks, so when they felt an attraction to each other, especially after the Carrock, both were initially upset, thinking they weren't soulmates. Thorin, of course, was much more upset.

— During the two weeks they stayed with Beorn (yes, I'm mixing the movie and the book, what are you going to do about it? Slow burn needs time to be slow), they managed to reach the point of kissing near the river or something like that. But when Bilbo tried to unlace Thorin's tunic, Thorin stopped him and said that, unlike hobbits, for dwarves, sexual interaction is a very serious step in emotional attachment. It wouldn't be fair not to tell Bilbo what kind of monster he was getting involved with, because after seeing what Thorin had to show him, Bilbo might not even want to look him in the eye. Bilbo was honestly frustrated. (It is implied that Thorin used some term characteristic of a pedo... ahem)

— With a terrifyingly serious face, Thorin unwrapped the bandages on his wrist, and Bilbo, with a sinking heart, prepared to see a number like 5 or 12. Instead, there was a very respectable and completely normal age. Thorin turned away, not wanting to see the disappointment in the hobbit's eyes. Bilbo spent a few seconds calculating how long dwarves live and how old Thorin actually was.

— Thorin thought Bilbo wanted to shame him for having the audacity to enter into a relationship at such an age, knowing his soulmate's extremely young age. With closed eyes, he forced out that he was 195 and knew how disgusting he was because of it.

— Instead of a slap or something worse, which Thorin wouldn't have opposed, thinking any normal person had the right to treat him like that after seeing it, Bilbo reached for his own wrist and, with suspicious enthusiasm, pulled off the leather bracelet he had worn since the Shire. On the pale skin was clearly marked Thorin's age, written in dark ink with characteristic dwarvish notches.

— Some time passed in silence as they both realized that such a coincidence simply couldn't be.

— They were in for a very pleasant evening away from the company🌚🌝

— Later, when the entire company gathered by the fire, Bilbo and Thorin would come to them, holding hands, the hobbit nearly glowing with happiness in front, and a red-to-the-tips-of-his-ears Thorin slightly behind. This would be the first time anyone in the company saw Thorin without bandages, and if not for the matching age on Bilbo's wrist, now also not hidden by a bracelet, they wouldn't have believed Thorin could be normal with such a number on his skin.

— And the dwarves would realize how young Bilbo was by their standards.

— Truly, the ways of the Valar are mysterious.

— At the very end of the night, Fili would nudge Kili with his elbow and hint that since their uncle had an inter-racial mark, he might not be so angry and yell when he finds out that his brother has a four-digit number on his wrist.

[miley1442111]

Hii omg i love the way you write!!! obsessed with the Rafe x Reader x JJ's fic. I'm eating that UPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And because of that i came to ask for something like that, i didnt saw anything like that done yet... The idea would be like that:

Rafe and reader are best best best friends like BEST FRIENDS but obviously deep down both are in love with each other and they personalities fit perfectly. But then Rafe starts dating Sofia (or just someone else) and reader get some distance from him to respect the privacy of the couple but Rafe always picks reader, Rafe and sofia meet reader on the country club, Rafe talks to reader the whole time, and give all is attention to reader.

Noticing how uncomfortable Sofia gets the reader get even more distant from Rafe and that starts to destroy him until one day, something big happens and Rafe picks reader instead of Sofia, like his instinct is to pick Reader. Then Sofia makes Rafe choose once and for all between her, his girlfriend or his bestfriend and one true love, the reader.

Maybe fluff/angst/comfort??? Pleaseeeeee sorry if this is too long or made you uncomfortable!!

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easy choice- r.cameron

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a/n: HI (louder than everyone else), i literally love you and this request anon!!!!!!! I dropped everything to write this, it literally got me out of a writing funk!!!!!! (YAYAYYAAYYA THANK U POOKIE) this is amazing and I hope you enjoy !!!!! :)))))))))))

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, male oc x fem! reader, rafe cameron x female oc

summary: i suggest you look at the ask

warnings: kissing, toxic realtionship, rafe is a bit of a dick to haley and reader, rafe is confused, cursing, underage drinking, drinking, suggestive mentions (I think that's it?)

y/n is such a girls girl i love it.

not entirely proofread

3.4k words :)

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You had been in love with Rafe Cameron from the moment you knew what love was. You had been 5 years old when the brunette boy wandered into your life in the role of your rich neighbour, but also your new best friend. Their large land meant you and Rafe spent every day of  that summer running around with each other, playing, laughing, being kids. 

When you were 6 years old he’d kissed your cheek and your mom’s had laughed, calling it ‘young love’. And that’s what it was. From that moment, you knew you loved Rafe. You knew he loved you back. For the next 13 years every time someone brought up Rafe and asked what you were to him, it was always ‘best friend’, and when people would ask you how you felt about him, you told them. 

“I love him,” you’d shrug. It was simple. They could take it that you were in love with him, or that you loved him. It was up to them. 

Often, you’d joke that you two were too close to ever date, that you’d ‘seen too much’ of the other, and that it would be weird. But on the night of your 15th birthday when you’d both gotten drunk for the first time, and when he’d kissed you, you’d thought that maybe that idea was stupid. Maybe you hadn’t seen too much. 

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“This is Haley,” Rafe smiled. Haley, Rafe’s new girlfriend was clinging to him like all the others you’d met had, intimidated by you. You just smiled. “This is Y/n, she’s my best friend.”

You watched as her face faltered, then her hand shot out far too quickly, and almost hit your drink. You just smiled and shook her hand. “I promise I’m not one of those terrible ‘girl best friend in love with your boyfriend’ girls, I’ve seen Rafe shit himself, I can’t ever get that image out of my head.”

Haley smiled, then laughed as Rafe rolled his eyes at you. You shrugged, it was the best way to break the ice with his girlfriends, make fun of him. 

“No way,” she chuckled. “How old was he?”

“5-”

“15,” you answered. “Remember? When we were going skiing with your dad?” 

Rafe gritted his teeth and smiled at you, but you knew he wasn’t mad. Rafe was unable to get mad at you, it was truly impressive. All these years, and you’d never had a real fight. You just laughed at him and he broke out of his fake annoyance. 

“Well, I think this has been a great conversation, thanks Y/n-” Rafe was trying to steer Haley towards the bar behind you, but she stayed put. 

“Rafe, I want to meet her, properly,” she whispered and he rolled his eyes but obliged. 

“Good for you girl,” you chuckled, poking fun at the way he listened and did anything she asked. She laughed again. Maybe you two would be friends? That would be nice. All of Rafe’s old girlfriends had been intimidated by you, and it made you pretty upset. They had nothing to worry about, yes, you loved Rafe, but not like that. Yes, he was your first crush, and first kiss, but you were over that. You were a grown woman, and you knew your own feelings, fuck what everyone else thought. You weren’t in love with Rafe Cameron, you loved your best friend. And that’s all he was, your best friend. “Do you guys want to get lunch?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Haley smiled. 

“I have golf with the boys, you sure you don’t want to join?” He asked, turning to you.

“I’m, fucking awful at golf Rafe, it sucks, so for the last fucking time; no thank you,” you chuckled. 

“Suite yourself,” he shrugged, and grabbed your hand, giving it a tight squeeze before starting to walk off. 

“Rafe?” You called him. 

“Hm?” He turned back. 

You nodded your head in Haley’s direction. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” You mouthed. 

Rafe nodded, catching on and walked back over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Haley smiled and waved him off. 

“He’s such a dick sometimes, sorry,” you chuckled with her. 

“He’s fine,” she smiled. “Seriously, I’d rather be here anyways, you’re right about golf, that shit sucks.”

You chuckled. “Amen to that.”

You talked with Haley for an hour before you had to get back to work. 

“Well, I better head back to work,” you smiled, getting up. “It was awesome to meet you.”

“Yeah you too,” she smiled, getting up at the same time. “To be honest I was pretty worried to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Rafe talks about you all the time, you’re like the only thing he talks about,” she chuckled and you felt awful. Rafe shouldn’t be talking about you to his girlfriend. You were his friend, and you’d never ever want someone, let alone his girlfriend to be worried about your role in his life. You two were strictly best friends.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that can’t be nice,” you sympathised. 

She shook her head. “No seriously, I didn't mean it in a bad way! It’s just-”

“No! Of course not,” you assured her. “I just mean that I wouldn’t totally like it if my boyfriend was constantly talking about someone else,” you explained. “I had one of those ‘girl best friend boyfriends’ and trust me, I swear to not be like that.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you smiled. “Now, I’d love your number so you can tell me if Rafe ever does some stupid shit, he usually listens to me and I can knock some sense into him. He has no right to piss you off, ever,” you chuckled. “Don’t take any of his shit, ever, ok? Promise me?”

“I promise,” she chuckled. “Thanks for being so… cool. I didn’t exactly expect it.” 

“No problem,” you smiled. “Thanks for being so cool too.”

You two left each other, and you two were friends. That felt good, and it also felt too good to mess up. So you decided it would be best to lay off Rafe for a while, still go out, but not alone (not that there was anything wrong with it, but just to give Haley peace of mind), and not reply immediately when he texted. 

----------------------

Rafe: Are You free today? 

Today, 11:00 am

You: Sorry, going out with Kelce and Top. Go out with Haley. 

Today 1:00 pm

Rafe: ???

Rafe: Didn’t think to invite me? 

Today, 1:01pm

You: Haley told me you two have plans today Rafe.  DON’T FUCK THIS UP! SHE’S REALLY COOL!!!

Today 1:02 pm

Rafe: Y/n come on. I’m only hanging out with her. She clings to me like a fucking koala

Today 1:04 pm

You: Set boundaries then. She’s your girlfriend. (plus me + you hang out more often than you and her????)

Today 1:04 pm

Rafe: That's different.

Today 1:05 pm

You: ????? 

You: No it’s not. Now have a fun date Rafe! Top, Kelc and I are drunk on a boat rn :)))))

Read 1:08pm

----------------------

Three months later…

Rafe: Dinner + horror movie tonight? Tanneyhill?

Read 2:14pm

“Who’re you texting?” Haley asked Rafe as she watched him get increasingly pissed off while looking at his phone. 

“No one,” he coughed, putting his phone down. Why were you ignoring him? It had been three months of dodged hangouts and missed calls and texts. He was getting the majority of his information about you out of Haley, and it was pissing him off. You were his best friend, not hers. Yet you seemed to have all the time in the world for her, and none for him. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Haley started. “Y/n and I were shopping the other day and-”

Rafe’s ears piqued up. Haley and you were hanging out, but you and him weren’t? Again, unfair, he was your best friend. “What?”

“Me and Y/N? We went shopping the other day and she finally found her Midsummer’s dress,” Haley explained. “We decided we’d match!” Haley turned and showed him a picture of you two in the matching pale pink dresses. 

Rafe was almost knocked on his ass by how good you looked. Your messy hair from the rain that had hit that day and your real smile, the one he knew, the one he usually brought out of you, and the long pink dress accentuating every perfect feature of your body. He found himself smiling. 

“What do you think?” Haley smiled. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiled, handing her phone back. “You’re stunning.”

Haley’s smile widened and Rafe felt accomplished. Yes, Haley looked good, but beside you? He didn’t even see her. 

“We should go to the mainland and get you a matching pink suit,” Haley beamed. She put her phone down, turning to Rafe. “I’m so glad we're together.”

Rafe flashed her his signature smirk and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. Kook princess and Kook king. This is what he’d wanted. Why didn’t it feel good then?

----------------------

Later that night, you called him. 

“Hi,” He sighed into the phone. 

“Did Haley tell you the happy news?” You chuckled. 

“That you two are matching for Midsummers? Yeah I know, the dress is pretty-”

“No Rafe, that I won’t be third wheeling you two at Midsummers,” you chuckled. 

Rafe stopped in his tracks. He stopped mid-biting into his apple and he almost dropped his phone. “What?”

“I got asked to Midsummers!” You cheered. 

“Who?” Rafe’s voice was just above a whisper. What was that feeling? The bile in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down. The red-tint in his vision. The way his entire body tensed. 

“Conrad Burren and I are going together,” you smiled. 

Rafe’s heart started beating again and he sighed, a smile landing on his lips. You were friends with the pogues, Conrad was your friend. “Oh,” he took a breath. “You’re going as friends, I thought you meant you got a date.”

You were quiet for a moment. That shit stung. “I did get a date. It’s a date Rafe,” you were more than offended. Rafe acting like you couldn’t get a date, fuck him. You and Conrad  were going together, and that’s what you wanted. Would you rather it be your usual tradition with Rafe where you’d run off to the empty lighthouse, get drunk and watch Jaws? Yes. But Haley had somehow convinced him to go to Midsummers, and you weren’t going to mess that up for her. “Conrad and I are going on a date.”

Rafe’s heart stopped again. Fuck. “Oh.”

You were getting angry with his silence. “Thanks Rafe, you piece of shit,” you spat and hung up the phone. 

----------------------

He had no reason to be this upset. Was he even upset? Was this him being upset? He had no idea how he was feeling, so an impromptu ‘boys only’ meeting was called. 

“Why are we here at midnight Rafe?” Topper yawned as he sat beside Wheezie (Yes, Wheezie and Sarah were part of your little group, and they were honorary boys at this meeting). “And where’s Y/n?”

Sarah laughed. “This is about Y/n,” she explained. “They had a fight.”

“Sarah!” He groaned, pacing the room. 

“Over who she’s going to Midsummers with,” Wheezie finished for her. “She’s going with Conrad.”

“Burren?” Kelce asked and Wheezie nodded. “He’s an alright guy, better than Jj Maybank anyways.”

Topper chuckled and agreed. “Yeah, what’s the issue with Conrad? He's a pogue and she’s basically a pogue anyways."

"Exactly! The only thing that really makes Y/n a kook is being friends with us and her parent’s money so… what’s the big problem that dragged me out of bed at fucking 11:43pm?” Kelce yawned.

“The problem is that she shouldn't be going with him!” Rafe snarled. 

“Who should she go with?” Sarah sighed. 

“No one!” Rafe exclaimed and everyone burst out laughing. “Me? No, no one!”

“Rafe, you have Haley and Y/n’s going to have to date one day! She’s already had a boyfriend or two,” Wheezie shrugged. 

Rafe turned his head to her. “What?”

“Yeah! They just weren’t super serious so she probably didn’t tell you,” Wheezie explained. 

“She probably didn’t tell you because she knew you’d flip your shit,” Sarah chuckled. “Like you’re doing right now.”

“Fuck off!” He hissed. “I’m not in love with her!”

The room fell silent, save for the heavy breathing of Rafe. 

“No one said you were,” Sarah smirked. “But you just did.”

And everything clicked into place for Rafe. He was in love with you. And of course he was. You, beautiful, intelligent, funny, kind, amazing, you. Who wouldn’t be in love with you? How hadn’t he realised it sooner? Why hadn’t he acted on it sooner?

“Fuck,” he breathed out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. No! No, I-I can’t be in-in love with Y/n!”

Sarah laughed. “Rafe it’s alright!’

“No! No it’s not! Be-because she said we-we'd never date! ‘It wouldn’t ma-make sense’ she said. She said we wouldn’t make sense!” He panicked. He was in love with you, and there was no way you’d ever give him a chance. And then there way fucking Haley. Kook princess, irritating, clingy, Haley. “And what do I do about Haley?”

“I mean,” Kelce took a deep breath. “You might need to just break it off.”

“No he can’t do that,” Topper shook his head. “Haley and Y/n are like best friends-”

“Y/n is my best friend!” Sarah shouted. “Y/n is my best friend!” Rafe shouted. “Y/n is my best friend!” Wheezie shouted. All at the same time.

The Cameron siblings started into a very loud shouting match, trying to convince the others that you were in fact their best friend, not the others. Topper and Kelce let it run its course for about 10 minutes, but with no end in sight, Topper shouted. “Ok! You need to talk to Haley about this, then go to Y/n, but wait until after Midsummers!” 

Rafe stared at him for a minute, then shrugged. “Yeah. Good plan,” he wiped some of the sweat from his forehead and stood still for the first time in hours. “You two can go,” he mumbled to his friends, who just laughed.

“See you tomorrow man,” Kelce chuckled as they left. 

Rafe just had to wait until after Midsummers, which was four days away. He could make that, right?

----------------------

Rafe could not make it for 4 days. 4 days of knowing that you were mad at him, that you were going on a date with someone else to Midsummers, that he would have to see you there with him. 

4 days of agony, essentially. 

----------------------

“What’s wrong with you?” Haley finally asked, sick of his shitty mood that had just been growing throughout the week. 

“Nothing,” he mumbled, letting go of her hand as they walked. 

“No,” She stopped. “Come on, talk to me Rafey.”

Rafey. He fucking hated it when she called him that. It felt juvenile, so stupid, so whiny. 

“Stop calling me that shit,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s fucking annoying.”

She took a step away from him. “Rafe Cameron, we are going to Midsummers in 3 fucking hours, do I need to call Y/n to get her to set you straight?” 

A part of him didn’t like the fact that she had your number, another part of him wanted your attention on him, and that phone call would do just that. “I don’t fucking care Haley.”

Haley huffed, then walked off, lifting her phone to her ear. 

----------------------

“Hey Haley,” you sniffled. Conrad had cancelled on you at the last minute, saying he was ‘too busy to go to some kook-bullshit’. 

“Hey Y/n, can you tell Rafe to go fuck himself for me?” She seethed. 

“Haley, this really isn’t the time,” you sighed. “I’m sorry I just-”

“You told me you’d be here for me?” Haley scoffed. 

“Yeah, a-and I am I just-”

“So be here for me. I’m handing the phone to Rafe, talk to him.” 

“Hi,” it was Rafe’s voice, and you just wanted to cry harder. 

“Hi,” you choked out. “What’s going on?”

Rafe heard how your voice broke and his senses went into overdrive. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you tried to steady your breathing. “Tell me what you said to Haley.”

“I didn’t say shit that wasn’t true. Now, where are you Y/n? What’s wrong?” Rafe was already grabbing his car keys from his pocket. 

“I’m sorry about our fight, I guess you were right. It wasn’t a date,” you sniffled. 

“What did that asshole do?” He growled. “Fucking piece of shit- listen I’ll be at yours in a few minutes, stay put.” 

“Rafe, go to Midsummers with Haley, please don’t worry about me,” you pleaded. You didn’t want his relationship to be ruined over you, and you didn’t want Haley to hate you forever because of a choice Rafe made. 

“Fuck Midsummers, and fuck Haley. You’re what’s important,” he assured you. “I’ll be there soon, ok?”

“Rafe please-” 

He hung up. 

“She knocked some sense into you?” Haley turned to him. 

“I’m not going to Midsummers,” Rafe muttered, brushing past her. He would burn every bridge he had to if it meant he got to you. 

“What?!” She shouted, stopping him by grabbing his arm. “Rafe!” “Fuck off, we’ll talk later,” he tried to brush her off, but she remembered what you’d said.

“Never take any of his shit, ok, promise me?”

“No. We’ll talk now. Me or her?"

“Her.” 

Rafe answered without a second thought. You were his destination, his journey, and his starting point. You inhabited his thoughts, lived in his head rent free, and you controlled him. You guided him, you knew him, and you loved him. As a friend at least. He just hoped it was more. 

Haley sighed, eyes clouding with tears. “Go.” 

“I was going to do that no matter what,” Rafe admitted, then brushed her off of him, running to his car. He got to your house in a record time of 5 minutes, and he ran to your bedroom. There you stood, mascara running, in your gorgeous pale pink dress with the prettiest flowers in your hair, and a sinking feeling his head gut told him that he was right. 

He was irrevocably, irreversibly, completely, head over heels in love with you. He reached out and took you into his arms, letting you cry onto his white shirt.

“He’s a piece of shit,” he whispered, holding you as you two sat down on your bed. “He didn’t deserve you,” he pressed his face into your hair. He draped your legs over his, holding you against him in a bridal hold as you cried into his neck, one arm supporting your back and one holding you closer to him. “You deserve so much better,” he purred. “You’re so beautiful, so, so beautiful,” he whispered. “So gorgeous.”

“Rafe, you should be with Haley,” you wiped your eyes. 

“We broke up,” he admitted. This was the moment, his moment. The moment where everything would change. It just depended on whether it was good or bad. “We broke up because I’m in love with you.”

You took your head out from his neck and stared at him, then you started laughing. “You’re in love with me?” You asked through laughter. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled. 

And then it all clicked for you. You were in love with Rafe Cameron. Soft, uncontrollable, hilarious, handsome, Rafe Cameron. 

“Shit,” you sighed out, a shocked look on your face. “I think I’m in love with you too.”

Rafe’s smile brightened. “Yeah?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, a smile on your lips. 

Rafe’s attention landed on your lips, and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He grabbed your face, pulling it up to his own, and kissing you. It was like he was 15 all over again, but so much better. 

You pulled back after a moment. “You’re totally broken up with Haley, right?”

He nodded, his eyes staying on your lips, already addicted to the way you tasted. “Yeah,” he mumbled, only half listening. 

“Good,” you smirked. “Because we have to get to Midsummers.”

Rafe’s interest was piqued. “Why?”

“Traditions are tradition Cameron,” you smirked, fixing up your makeup. “We have to get drunk and watch Jaws in the lighthouse. Or did you forget?” 

Rafe could feel himself getting hard but he just smirked. “I didn’t forget.”

“Good,” you smirked, pressing your lips to his once again. “So let’s go.”

He nodded, following you like an overactive puppy. 

God, he was whipped.  And he didn’t even care. He had you.

----------------------

obx masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

[honeymark]

𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒄𝒕 𝟏𝟐𝟕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ㅡ

click 〔 here 〕 for the hyung line.

˗ˏˋ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 :: hi miss soojin ! could u write smth ab 127 comforting their insecure gf ? thank u so much ! ´ˎ˗

⇢ 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍 feels the most secure when you’re by his side, so he’s quick to notice when you start pulling away from him. at first, it was the texts — on the days you didn't see each other, you'd always text him throughout the day, even though you knew you wouldn't get a written response. it's not that he didn't read them; he was too busy with work to respond, so he'd always react with a thumbs up or a simple "haha." but then, your daily text threads stopped. he knew you had your own life, so he assumed you were too busy to send updates, but the nightly phone calls stopped, too. did he do something wrong? did you find someone else? what the fuck was going on?

he waits until the weekend to talk about it, and he listens attentively as you open up about wanting to be “less clingy and annoying.” he takes your hand in his with soft, cool fingers in a reassuring grip. “i didn’t know you felt this way, y/n,” he says softly. he presses a light kiss to your knuckles before delicately pulling you into a warm embrace. “you aren’t clingy or annoying, baby. you’re the cutest person in the world, and in a perfect world, i’d spend the rest of my life right by your side. nothing is as special as the time we spend together, and that includes reading your daily updates and watching all the tiktoks you send me and falling asleep to your soft snores on our nightly facetime calls. i love it all, and i love you, so don’t pull away from me, please?”

⇢ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐎 isn’t one to ruminate on the past, mainly because he tends to overthink and overanalyze every little detail in a sticky situation. that being said, it would be a blatant lie to say that he hasn’t looked into your former relationships and partners. he’s matured enough over the years to keep his jealousy in check, but no matter how much time he spends with you, he just can’t seem to shake off a lingering insecurity that’s convinced him he isn’t fulfilling your needs…

which is why he’s all the more surprised when you bring up the same insecurities to him. he listens without judgement or interruption as you express how you’ve been feeling, his heart aching as you tearfully open up about not being enough for him. he waits for you to finish before enveloping you in a tight hug, and he thanks you for being vulnerable with him, reminding you that your feelings and concerns are valid. he gets carried away with listing all of the qualities he loves about you, and he doesn’t stop until you seal his lips yourself with a kiss. “there’s nothing to compare, my love. no one holds a candle to you. you’re the one for me, i mean it!”

⇢ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 knew from the moment you met that there was no hope for him; he was going to fall head over heels in love with you. it’s been five years since then, and his affection for you has only increased tenfold. he truly admires everything about you, from your ability to understand and empathize with others, to your independence and strength, to your resilience and readiness to bounce back from any setback, to your creativity and ridiculous sense of humor. of course, he appreciates your beauty (something that he reminds you of very frequently, especially at night 🤠), but more than anything, he loves you for who you are and genuinely cherishes the depth of your connection.

so, unsurprisingly, he’s concerned by how suddenly adamant you are about not wanting to get dressed in front of him, something you’ve been doing for years now. at first, he doesn’t think much of it; you reserve the right to privacy, and he respects that, but it goes on for over a week. he’s sure something is bothering you, and his suspicions are confirmed by how you immediately burst into tears when he asks you about it. he holds you in a firm embrace as you describe how insecure you feel because of your stretch marks and acne scars. nothing hurts his heart more than to hear you disparage yourself, and he waits until you calm down to share his thoughts.

"it's okay to feel that way, babe. but i'm going to be honest...i think you're beautiful no matter what. who cares about stretch marks or acne scars? those are just nouns. they don't mean anything, and they definitely don't take away from how amazing of a human being you are. you’re beautiful, and i can’t get enough of you.”

⇢ 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 is the first man you’ve ever met who’s been able to intellectually and humorously keep up with you, and you haven’t given him a chance to escape from your grip ever since (not that he’s ever wanted to, of course). the two of you met in college, and after months of constantly riffing off each other, you made the first move and confessed your feelings in an uncharacteristically sincere way. it’s been a few years since then, and while it’s undeniable that you two have the most fun when you’re together, you start to wonder if he really loves you. it’s not that your relationship was necessarily lacking anything; you two were plenty intimate, both emotionally and physically, but…it still couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

it’s one of those “let’s order pizza and rot on the couch for hours” kinds of nights when you finally find the courage to ask him, “do you love me?” he hears you, but it’s clear he doesn’t take you seriously; he doesn’t even bother looking up from his phone as he answers with a sarcastic “of course not.” he waits for you to respond with some sort of witty comeback, but you don’t. he glances up and nearly drops his phone on his face when he sees you tearing up. he immediately asks if you’re okay, and he solemnly listens as you make light of your insecurities. he pulls you into a rough hug and kisses you, his lips soft and sweet against yours. “shit, baby, i’m sorry. i didn’t know you were feeling this way. of course i love you. y/n, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and i’m sorry that i don’t say it enough. i love you, baby. i love you so much.”

[tacticaldiary]

omg hi, i love your writing and saw requests were open for cod. i was wondering if you could write something where reader and simon are in an established relationship (can either be public to the team or a secret) and they are on a mission. reader has a scare during a mission and ghost has an “i almost lost you” moment with her.

Anyone But Her

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Their line of work has never guaranteed the assurance of coming home, but that doesn't make the fear of loss any easier to deal with, especially not when it happens right in front of his eyes.

Masterlist

If asked where one feels the most comfortable, people who respond with something like 'home' or 'the beach', something achievable and wholly normal.

Her? There was nothing more comforting than the feel of hot metal in her tight grip during a mission, the easy reloading of her sniper almost by muscle memory as she gazes down the scope. The commands, the back and forth with tasks and delegations, and the constant movement and adjustment needed to bring home a victory is what keeps her on her feet.

"In position on first building." Ghost's rough voice travels through the comms, bringing her attention away from the scope she's looking down. Laying down on the top of a hill, spotting the other members as they infiltrate a Russian warehouse, was an easy job. In and out before they realised that the team was even there.

It's an ugly thing, what the 141 deals with, but it's so far set from what normal is that she's long since accepted that there's no going back.

Part of her is glad she hadn't tried. If there was never a chance she'd have been selected for this squad, she never would have met the enigma that is Simon Riley.

Standoffish, brash, deadly.

Understanding, confident, loving.

They'd butted heads on her first day harsher than any of the others ever had, and after an order from Price to resolve their tension lest it interfere mid battle, the both of them had come to realise that they had much more in common than they thought.

The rest had been history. They already moved in sync on the field, and after a try they'd discovered they worked just as well together as something more than teammates. It was hard to keep things professional with glances so heated and words that no friend would ever offer each other.

Some of the things he's said to her in the heat of the moment and the privacy of their quarters makes blood rush to her cheeks just thinking about it.

She was just a precaution, really. A failsafe, because the odds may be in their favour but they were never always truly compliant.

"Breaching second on your command." Gaz's voice relays through.

"Sergeant, how are things from above?"

"All clear, L.T." She says, doing another final sweep of the grounds. "No visible hostiles near your vicinity." The good news is delivered with an undertone of caution.

If their intel was correct, this warehouse should be housing stolen US documents, information that could deal real damage to their operations if transported farther than it already had been.

So where were all the soldiers?

The only ones she sees are a few mulling around the grounds, three by the radio tower nearby and another few near the vehicles at the back of the compounds. Surely such valuable intel would be more heavily guarded?

Her gut speaks to attest that something is wrong, but before she can bring it to light, Ghost and Soap, and Gaz and Price breach the doors of their respective warehouses.

"Copy." Ghost rasps. "Breaching now." She pauses for a moment to fiddle with her comms unit, the voices filtering through to her earpiece crackling in a way they shouldn't be if the device was fully functional.

Looking down her scope, everything seems normal. The grass swaying in the wind, the silence that follows and-

Silence?

She stiffens at the sudden lack of noise. It was too still, the clam before the storm. Hand flying to her comms, she speaks into the device;

"Ground team, how copy?"

Static. Then silence.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she repeats herself louder, more firmly, frowning where there's nothing but muted static and crackling. She does another sweep of the facility with her sniper. All seems quiet until her gaze focuses on the radio tower.

Adjusting her scope's distance, her mouth goes dry when she realises exactly what the three at the base of the structure are holding. A device she herself has used many times during missions like these.

A jammer.

Sudden movement makes her eyes snap back to the vehicle form before. Her stomach drops as the doors to the truck swing open and soldiers armed to their necks pour out, spreading all over the facility.

An ambush. They knew they were coming. Jammed their comms to isolate them and hide their forces until the others entered the warehouses probably. Surrounded. They'd be surrounded in mere minutes if they didn't do something.

Her comms are useless, so she can't warn them, and can only watch in muted horror as they start to scatter around the building.

Fuck.

She can't take out the three men at the tower from here. That wouldn't stop the device and only act to reveal her position. Hands-on was the only way.

Slamming her sniper onto the strap on her back, she extracts her pistol, breaking into a harsh sprint down the hill. There was no time, she had to warn them herself. To hell with staying out of sight.

The 141...they were like family to her. Soap and Gaz's constant cheeky remarks and antics, Price's steadfast and reliable leadership, Ghost...Simon's patience and understanding, his muted passion and actions that when decoded conveyed more love than anybody had every offered her.

The day her team took a loss would not be today. Not like this. Not when she could help it.

Finding herself in the middle of the compound by ducking and staying out of view, she kneels behind a crate, unhooking one of her frag grenades, pulling the pin out with her teeth.

This would give away her position, a dangerous gamble while hostiles surrounded her from all sides, but what better way to alert battle-ready soldiers than with the bang of a grenade. A sounds they knew all to well.

She'd just have to hold her position until they could regroup. She's done tougher things before, and this was so or die right now. With the thought in mind, she steels herself and tosses out the grenade at the most densely packed area of soldiers, clenching her jaw and taking cover at the resounding bang that cracks through the air.

The gunfire follows soon after.

Her comms crackle, evidence that someone's trying to reach her, but with the jammer not sounds can be deciphered.

Soldiers yell, and fire at her location, the heavy thudding of footsteps on either side of her clueing her into their intentions to flank her sides and gun her down. Returning fire, she ducks between the crates to make her way to the radio tower, just a couple of metres away. Bullets clink and bang and ricchoet of fthe metal around her, but miraculously, she's mostly unscathed as dives behind a vehicle and takes down the three men aiming their rifles at her.

The jammer lays at the feet, blinking green.

Right in the middle of the open field. She had to get there, had to get it off so they could all communicate with each other and move smoothly. There was a higher risk of casualties if one moved without the knowledge of the others.

Unpredictability was the worst of enemies in the field.

Steeling herself for going out in the open under the inevitable spray of bullets, she unclips a smoke grenade and tosses it, holding her breath as acrid smoke obstructs everyone's vision. Stumbling into the mess, she keeps low to the ground to avoid the blind fire into the smoke and feels around for the device.

Her hands curl around the metal and she sprints back to cover.

She doesn't make it.

Their blind fire proves effective, as a bullet rips through her shoulder, another one through her calf wrenching out a choked scream from her. The smoke was slowly dissipating, and pretty soon visibility would be back and then any bullet wounds she'd sustain would not be as unfatal.

Panic claws up her throat, but years of practise allow her to swallow it down. She pulls herself up, but groans and collapses, her leg unable to support her weight and her shoulder unable to drag her across the ground.

Shit, shit.

Her breaths come ragged and uneven, her knuckles turning white with the harsh grip on the device. Changing courses, she brings the jammer close to her, focusing on it instead, turning knobs and pressing buttons.

If she bit the bullet here, she'd damn well do so making sure the others stayed alive.

The second the jammer switches off, voices filter through her comms, a flurry of mixed yells, gunfire and pounding footsteps.

"Sergeant?!" A familiar voice barks down the line, hoarse...worried? "Are you down?"

Lightheaded, feeling blood soak through her clothes, she can't bring herself to respond. The smoke starts to clear and the best she can do is shift herself behind a tree a few feet away, leaning against the thick trunk for cover while unable to grasp her weapon through the slippery bloody coating her hands.

Was it normal to have that much blood? Feeling a little delirious, she drops her weapons besides her and presses down hard on the wound on her leg, biting back a groan. Gunfire pings around her, gunpowder and smoke acrid in the air.

It's only when Ghost snaps her name through the comms does she come back to herself a little.

"I'm..." She squeezes her eyes shut trying to get her tongue to form words. "I'm down. Bleeding out near the radio tower. Fuckers jammed out comms. Ambush. Had to...had to warn you. Had to fix it." She coughs, spitting into the ground beside her as blood trickles down her chin.

Definitely not normal.

Swallowing is hard, her thoughts swim as the grass beneath her is stained crimson. Her body feels too heavy, head to light and she wonders if this is really the end.

Someone speaks through her comms, words to muddled in her head to make out. Gaz? Or was that Price? Maybe Soap? Or Simon?

God, what she wouldn't give to hear Simon again, just once. Her eyes flutter shut with a groan. Just once more. She just wants to hear that gruff voice one more time through the comms, saying her name. He's never told her he's loved her verbally, even when she expressed it herself, but words haven't ever been his strong points.

His actions spoke far far louder.

The ways he's memorised all her little routines, her favourite foods, her favourite activities, the particular way she likes to store and clean her weapons. the silent moments at night where he pulled her close and the shared a book together, the nights spent together in bed where he showed her that he was not lacking in love when it came to her.

Simon Riley had left a mark on her life that she wore with pride, and if this...this meant that he lived on another day. She grits her teeth, shallows pant soft breath as blood pools between her fingers.

Then it was damn well worth it.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

An unstoppable force by nature, Ghost is the scariest anybody's ever seen him right now.

That last comms transmission from her had made his heart practically stop in his chest, even if he was as apathetic as ever from the outside. He had called out to her again, demanded she stay awake and give a precise location but no matter how much he shouted and order through the comms he was met with a deafening silence.

Silence that suggested the worst.

Fuck, no. No way. This wasn't happening, this simply wasn't something Simon would allow to happen.

Not her. Not any of them, really, but especially not her. Not her soft smiles and meaningful glances, not when she made him feel as if he might not break everything he comes into contact with.

Not when she was the only one who's ever coaxed out Simon Riley from Ghost.

His actions grow harsher, more brutal. The moment he hears she's near the radio towers bleeding out, he's a man on a mission, and none of the others make a peep of protest as he clears the way through to her, a spartan leaving a trail of blood behind as he moves.

He does not rage. Rage implies something uncontrolled and fierce. No, this is not rage. This is something much colder, much more calculating. Every throat that he slashed with his knife, every bullet that lands home in a skull is done with precision and deadly force. He means every bit of hurt he causes, hurt that stems from his own panic at her sudden silence.

This was not rage. This was icy cold desperation disguised as cool anger.

He's the one who finds her after everybody spreads out to clear the facility.

Back to a tree, eyes closed, hands limp at her side.

She might have been sleeping if not for all the fucking blood.

Dropping down beside her, he shakes her shoulder firmly, calling out her name.

"Wake up, Sergeant." He orders, eyes raking over her figure to find the source of her injuries. His jaw ticks as he notes the two fresh wounds. She doesn't move when he extracts a rolls of gauze from his belt, doesn't flinch when he tightly wraps her injuries.

Does not wake up to notice how his hands are shaking as he ties the final knots.

"Wake up." He says, voice much lower, something deeply needing. Shifting closer, he pulls her into his arms, away from the rough bark of the tree. Her head falls to his shoulder limply, making his breath hitch, true, cold fear gripping his heart. "Wake up, sweetheart, c'mon." He urges. She's still alive as per the shallow rise and fall of her chest, but she won't fucking wake up and it's killing him, making panic claw at his throat because not her, not her, not her.

Reaching around, he pinches her sternum hard, relief slamming into him when she finally groans and whimpers, a weak hand reaching up to push his away. "That's it, love. There you go." He mutters praise, hooking an arm under her legs and hoisting her up, carrying her. "Keep those eyes open for me, yeah? Don't you dare fucking close them, you hear me?" His accent is thicker than normal

"..Simon?" She groans, barely a whisper, making his heart wretch painfully.

"It's me." He confirms, clutching her tighter as he makes his way back to the exfil he'd ordered Gaz to request. The heli stand waiting near the first warehouse, a mass of dead bodies paving the path for them to step over. "I've got you, love. Stay with me, just a little longer.

He doesn't know if she can hear him let alone understand what he's saying, but it seems to work, her groggy gaze taking in their surrounding, watching but not really seeing.

She shoves at his chest suddenly, weak but firm. "No...you gotta-they're here." She rattles in a breath that makes even him wince. "Ambush, Simon. Gotta-get yourself out."

"Fucking hell woman, you think I'd leave you?" He hisses, hiking her up closer so their bodies are pressed together. He feels a rush of anger peer through the crushing panic and worry he's beating down.

"No time." She breathes. "Leave-"

"Not another word." He warns, angry at the thought that she'd even think for one moment that he'd let her die on his watch, that he'd ever leave the one good thing in his life.

Her compliance scares him to the bone.

Simon practically runs the last few meters towards the evac heli, barking out instructions for a medic as they bring out a stretcher. Gently, an action so at odds with the flames burning through his veins, he lays her down on it, staying by her side as they hoist her inside.

The jolting makes her whimper, aggravating her injuries no doubt. "Careful," Simon demands, and a single glare from him is enough to make the team move her with much more cautiousness.

The team clamours in and it's not long before they're all in the air.

A silence is passed around the space, an acknowledgment and shared anger at her state, how she was riddled with bullets like a target because of her selfless nature to save and give.

They hadn't gotten the intel, but Simon has never given less of a shit about anything before, not when she's laying next to him pale and trembling, looking up at him as if he might be the one to make her pain go away.

May God strike him dead if he doesn't try his fucking hardest.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The steady beep on a heart monitor and the sharp smell of antiseptic is what slowly brings her back to the living world. She feels...

Well she feels like shit.

That's kind a given though, judging by how she determines by the scratchy sheets under her that she's in a hospital bed. One would be more disorientated by waking up like this, but she's seen her fare share of white bedspreads and jello cups.

Finally gathering up the courage to blink her heavy eyes open, she squints at the ceiling light, slowly getting her bearings.

They were...on a mission. She tries to recall. Warehouse. Men. Jammer...

The jammer! Were the others alright? All she remembers is passing out by the tree and-what else?

Alarm ringing through her, she moves to sit up but immediately groans at her body protesting, her limbs burning at the movement. Shoulder and leg tight with stitches, she tries to force herself to sit up when a large, warm hard pushes her back down.

"Easy does it. Lay still for me." The familiar voice washes away the alarm and when she slowly, groggily turns her head, there sits the one person she wanted to see.

Simon sits beside her bed, looking ragged and poorly even beneath his mask. She can see it by the tension in his shoulders.

"Wh-" She trails off, coughing and wincing at the pain in her dry throat. There's a rustling, and then a hand at the back of her neck, guiding her lips to a cup full of cool water. "Drink." Simon says simply, helping her swallow the liquid until she pushes on his hand.

"What happened?" She finally manages, meeting his eyes. "You look...like shit. You okay?"

Amusement may have flickered into those eyes of his, but it's next to nothing with the other concoction of worry in his eyes.

For someone so stoic, he had very expressive eyes if you knew how to read them.

"Am I okay?" He stares in disbelief. "Considering I didn't get shot twice and nearly bleed out, I'd say I'm doing better than you."

"Ever the comedian." Her joke doesn't crack a smile from him and that's when she knows something is truly wrong. "Simon what-"

The scrape of his chair cuts her off as he stands abruptly, moving over to her side. He seems hesitant for a split second, arms pausing as they reach out.

He decides to push away the doubt, however, because moments later, strong arms are wrapped around her, pulling her into him. She relaxes at the familiar scent of him, of his clothes as he tucks his chin over her head.

His heart is racing under his cheek, her fist loosely gripping his shirt.

She knows he'll speak in time, that she just has to wait for him to gather the words and decide how to express them out loud. So she does exactly that. She waits while he regulates himself, gathers his thoughts.

His arms tighten around her. "Thought I lost you." He says, and if it had been anybody but her, they might have missed the slight tremor in his voice. "When I saw you bleeding out against that tree...Fuck, I thought you were gone."

"Not that easily." She hums, pressing into him further. "Never than easily."

"Better fucking not be." It coaxes a hoarse giggle from her, what he growls in her ear.

"I'm alright, Simon." She assures him gently. "Alive and kicking."

He nods against her head minutely, his lips pressing against her head through his mask, a gesture that makes her melt because if Simon was resorting to such a thing he must have really had a scare. He hated PDA and although they were the only ones in the room, normally they reserved this kind of intimacy for their own rooms when they're alone together.

He stays like that for a while, convincing himself that she was there, that she was alive and breathing and in his arms and untouchable as of now. All the while she runs a soothing hand up and down his strong arms, mumbling assurances of their safety.

She'd do it again in a heartbeat, would put herself in harms way to save her team, but as she sits there pressed against him, the sun spilling into the room warming it with it's rays, she can't help but think of how thankful she is to have felt this again.

To have the chance to continue experiencing the protective love of Simon Riley.

Requests Are Open!

(25/06/2023)

[celesteleoves]

“YOU ARE THE ONLY EXCEPTION.”

GOJO SATORU x reader

summary: after your students invade your privacy, you realize that you don’t want anyone in your personal space but you’re boyfriend is the exception

warnings: reader is very closed off to those she doesn’t like. reader is a teacher/was a student alongside satoru!!! fluff otherwise!

a/n: not proofread. this is so bad… send over requests pls.

—

teaching teenagers is NOT easy.

technically, it is your fault. you agreed to this. you’ve spent half of your life basically being a mother anyways (to megumi, of course) so you figured this would be an easy job.

so, now you’re wondering as why you find yourself in this situation.

you’re students, who are the three first years, were caught stealing old photo books and souvenirs from your office.

how you know it was them? megumi is the only one that knows the code to your office as it is always locked for reasons like this. you’re assuming the two other thieves gaslighted him into letting them into your office, they always do.

the three trouble makers sat on your office couch, wearily looking around the room and trying to seem clueless as to why they were brought here.

“i like that vase… is it new?” the pink haired boy spoke for the first time in a while, trying to change the topic.

“don’t be stupid. i saw you put it in here the other day after breaking my other one.” you scowled as he nervously rubbed his neck with an anxious smile on his face.

“i’m sorry! we truly didn’t think you valued your privacy this much!” nobara yelped and you frowned.

“it was for a experiment!” itadori yelped and you fought back a laugh at his words as the other two teenagers looked at him like he was stupid.

“you guys know i hate everyone here besides my students and co-workers. don’t say that to anyone. i don’t want any stray wanderers ending up in my office.” you hissed as you watched them shrink back into their seat.

just as you were about to scold them once more, you heard a familiar pair of footsteps loudly making their way to your office. a tiny smile almost forcing its way onto your face.

the door slammed open, itadori’s face lighting up at the sight of his other teacher (their saviour, in this situation).

“gojo-sensei!”

the white haired man froze at the sight of his students in your office, he was only expecting you to be here.

“can someone tell me why they are in here? you hate people in your office, love.” satoru whispered the pet name as he moved closer to you.

you threw up your hands in exasperation, “exactly! i hate my privacy being invaded.”

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t realize they would cause this much ruckus.” megumi spoke quietly for the first time, making your heart clench.

he had a soft spot in your heart, they all did, but they need a little scolding every now and then. they need someone to keep them under control… and to teach them about respecting people’s privacy.

“no, don’t apologize you three. punishment’s will be necessary though.”

their heads shot up at your words, tiling almost comically to the side in sync with each other.

your boyfriend had made his way over to your desk, plopping down on his chair and grinning secretly to himself as he watched this whole ordeal go down.

you unfolded your arms, sighing softly. “go train now, 40 push ups each please.”

you swore nobara’s eyes popped out of their sockets when you said that, her hands clenching both of the boys shoulders in agony.

“i’m going to die, why did you ever suggest this you idiot!” nobara started scolding yuji whos jaw was currently dropped to the floor at her words and yours.

“ME?! YOU SUGGESTED IT TOO!”

“I DID NOT.”

megumi groaned, dragging the two of them out of the room as you rubbed your forehead. you moved towards your boyfriend at the sound of the door slamming shut much to your dismay.

flinching at the sudden quietness and no longer loud teenagers echoing off your wall’s, you looked at your boyfriend. normally, he’d be acting the same way as them but he knows you don’t need that right now.

“they’re a lot, hm?” satoru hummed while pulling you closer, you slouched against him.

“sometimes they’re too much.”

“yet, sometimes you need them to take your mind off things. they got you to stop doing your paperwork for at least 4 hours.” he grinned as you looked shocked and worried at the same time.

frowning, you snuggled against him, his infinity being off just for you.

“i hate people. sometimes.”

“oh i know, don’t know how you put up with me!”

you chuckled, looking down and noticing the 3 bags of sweets on the floor. satoru was so thoughtful, he showed his love in the simplest yet most extravagant ways.

he grounded you, kept you from losing your mind. being by his side meant a life full of laughter and sweet moments, despite your jobs. you wouldn’t trade him for the world (or your students).

“you’re the only exception, satoru.”

-

a/n: bye wtf is this help. this is awful but whatever i miss my children bring them back gege.

[jymwahuwu]

@blbrrymilk here ^^

imagine that Sunday controls your thoughts during your private moments alone in bed 🫢 you were trying to find some relief- thinking of your crush/others beside him or just some kinky fantasies he doesn’t approve of- so he gives you a different image in your mind. forcibly changed your thoughts to fit his preferences instead. maybe you lose your arousal because of his interference or maybe you think of him instead now :33

You really- why didn’t I think of this!! Thank you! ! I'm struggling with how to write about mind control. *mwah*<3 <3 This mind control is annoying LMAO

CW: yandere, mind control, forced orgasms, masturbation, no privacy…?

He is really insufferable omg😹

Forcibly pouring his image into your mind like this? Uh-huh, yes. You've joined "The Family" even though you may not have actually… agreed? Your consciousness is connected to that of the people of Aeon Xipe. The leader of the family often looks at the fragments of thoughts in your mind, and replaces and modifies the information if he sees something that does not suit his liking.

Of course, Sunday cannot directly modify your thoughts. He respects your sense of independence (claim). He just guides you to the right path.

One day you're lying on a soft bed, completely relaxed, probably in your pajamas. You looked at the ceiling and breathed calmly. You might be ready to meditate, masturbate or something like that. And this is your freedom, okay? You don't know why…Sunday, the leader of the family has a kind of appreciation and favor for you. You are considered an important member of the family. You are tired of listening to Xipe and family hymns every day. This is your private time.

Maybe you think about your crush?

Once you think about that person, you can't help but feel your heart speed up and feel shy. You are thinking about the details of your time with them. But - no matter who your crush is, you suddenly find that their image has been replaced to Sunday in your mind. Close-up of him. His smile, his bow, his gestures, his words to you. The words of trust he always expressed to you. You were startled and quickly waved your hands to wave away those pink bubbles and love words. You don't have a crush on him, okay?

After you try to get rid of the image of Sunday, thousands of messages and videos flood into your head. About how you lack taste in the choice of lovers and neglect Xipe and Sunday who truly love and care for you and embrace you in their arms.

Then comes the real chill, the guilt. How their love was wasted and betrayed.

Gazed tenderly by those amber eyes. Surrounded by him. That feather gently stirs your heart.

As for thinking about other people? The consequences are relatively mild. Just bring back some memories of Sunday in your mind.

Sunday also doesn’t agree with some of your kinky fantasies. You are polluted by vulgar worldliness. How can you read those erotic novels and pornographic books? After you thought you were safe and caressed yourself with the toy, you heard him whispering in your ear and guiding you to climax. Of course you were- annoyed- and confused, but in the end you cum so hard, one after another orgasm ripped out of you. Pain and excitement. A feeling of bliss. Your eyes lose focus. Then came the licking of your ears and the restrained kisses.

Sunday is not in this space, but it feels so real.

Minutes after the mind control ended:

You grab your mobile device and send a message to "Mr. Sunday":

(╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴ Stop putting those images in my mind you bastard!!!!!!!!!

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: newrelationship!jun, afab reader, smut, semi-public indecency (not rlly but they keep getting interrupted), dry humping, oral (m receiving), mentions of penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2545

a/n: finally wrote something for my love jun :D

masterlist

you and jun had only been dating for a total of five weeks (give or take a few days). you had been friends for a few years already, but had both shown subtle interest in one another for a long time. it had been jun who asked you out, showing up at your doorstep a little over a month ago with flowers and a confession to match. needless to say, you had accepted him with open arms, immediately becoming exclusive.

your friends had all been ecstatic at the news, having had to watch the two of you exchange shy glances whenever the other one wasn't looking, and laughing at the green in your faces whenever someone of the opposite sex showed interest in the other.

your newly born relationship had been going amazingly over the past five weeks. having been friends beforehand, it was easy to start at a comfortable place, already knowing all small details about each other. it was also very convenient to share a friend group. it meant neither of you would have to deal with introductions or seeking approval from the other person's loved ones. it was all perfect. except for that one thing.

you loved your friends, you truly did. but they could be a bit much at times. you assumed it must've been due to the pre-existing dynamic they knew between the two of you. they had grown so used to seeing you as friends that they had trouble treating you as more than that. despite fully accepting - and even celebrating - the two of you getting together, their thought process didn't seem to go much further than the simple label of boyfriend and girlfriend. which was probably why they could not allow the two of you any privacy.

you knew they weren't doing in on purpose. there was no reason for them to sabotage you like this. but their timing just kept getting in the way.

it had been three weeks now since you and jun decided to take your relationship a step further. on top of having had an innocent crush on each other for all those months, you had also ... deeper desires than that. for lack of a better term, you'd been wanting to jump each other's bones for a long time now. you'd waited for a respectable number of weeks after becoming official to actually act on your desires, except your friends kept getting in the way. every time you and jun were about to finally get it on, someone always got in the way. just like two weeks ago, when you were sitting on the couch of jun's shared apartment.

it started innocently. you were simply watching a movie together, cuddled up like any lovers would be. until a more sinister idea came to jun's mind. he moved any obstacles aside and started peppering your neck with light kisses, wrapping his hand around your waist as if to move you closer to his side.

you sighed, moving your neck to give him more space, "junnie ..."

"god, you're so pretty ..."

he only kissed you for a bit before you grew too frustrated and decided to take a seat on his lap, now facing him.

"shit. are you sure?"

"yes, junnie," you said as you wrapped his arms around you, pulling yourself impossibly closer to him.

you kissed him, making the kiss immediately heat up by sticking your tongue in his mouth. it didn't take long for him to match your energy, allowing his tongue to dance with yours as you moaned against his mouth. but you wanted more. you started a slow grind against him, enjoying the soft sighs he let out at the feeling of your weight above him. you could already feel his dick hardening under you.

you grabbed his arms and snuck them under your shirt, guiding them to your tits and directing him to play with them. he didn't need much convincing, immediately beginning to fondle your breasts as if his life depended on it, now allowing his hips to cant upwards against your own.

you dry-humped for a while, barely being able to maintain the kiss due to your endless moans and breaths against each other's lips. to any outsider, you would've looked like crazed teenagers whose hormones got the best of them, but you didn't care. the simple feeling of jun against you was already making your eyes roll back, with his hardness hitting right against your most sensitive spots as you ground against each other.

but you still wanted more. you were about to remove your shirt and push jun's plush lips to wrap around your tit when you heard the unlocking for a door accompanied by some voices. quickly, you two separated, making yourselves as presentable as possible, jun placing a pillow on his lap to cover his very noticeable hard-on.

"oh! hi guys. didn't know you were home. what are we watching?" it was soonyoung, accompanied by a much quieter chan trailing behind him. the two of them immediately sat around you and jun, taking the remote from the coffee table to turn up the volume, completely disregarding your privacy. the two of you simply exchanged looks of frustration, knowing you were now stuck in a four-way movie night.

~

the next time had been a bit more private. the two of you were now inside jun's room. this time had been a bit more purposeful. you had come there with one goal in mind. you'd bought yourself time away form his roommates (aka your friends), claiming you'd be watching a movie and napping behind his closed door. you'd even dressed for the occasion, making jun's eyes widen as an audible moan left his mouth the moment you pulled off your shirt to reveal a cute little lacy number you had prepared for him.

"holy fuck. come here," he made grabby hands at you from his bed, practically pulling you into him the moment he caught sight of the pretty lingerie you had worn for him.

you sat comfortably on him, kissing him the moment you were close enough. this kiss grew heated immediately, with jun running his hands up and down your body frantically, wanting to feel every curve and cranny in your skin.

you attempted to overpower him, pushing him down to lay flat on his back as you straddled him, grinding against him at an angle that had him throwing his head back and moaning your name.

"baby .. fuck. don't stop doing that. feels so good."

"but i want more, junnie ..." you pouted at him, making him whine at you.

"more? yeah. i'll give you more, baby. just–"

you didn't give him enough time to finish his sentence before you raised your hips, going straight for his sweats as you lowered them. you directed him to sit against the headboard, dick now out and proud for you to see.

the sight had you salivating. you'd felt it through his clothes multiple times before, but the feeling did not do justice to the sight before you. you were practically cross eyed and drooling at him, having stopped all your movements to simply admire it. you knew what they said about guys with big noses, but you hadn't expected this.

"yah! stop just looking at it!", he broke you out of your trance, embarrassed at your shameless staring.

"sorry, junnie. it's just so ... pretty."

"fuck, don't say that," he pushed his back at the mere compliment, likely feeling aroused from your words.

you had planned to sit on him and have him injure your cervix, but the sight was making you delirious. there was nothing you wanted more in this moment than to have the weight of his cock in your mouth, having the sheer size make you gag against him. so, you neared him, lowering your head slowly as if to give him time to halt your movements if he wished.

you made eye contact as you lowered your head, receiving a subtle nod in affirmation from him before opening your mouth, softly licking at his head. you both sighed at the first contact. him due to the light touch, and you due to the deliciousness of his cock so close to your mouth. you licked lightly at him for a bit, disregarding his whines for more. you licked up and down every vein, and then licked all along the head, sucking softly every once in a while. his mewls for you were making you want nothing more than for jump him and ride him until he cried and pushed you away. but you needed his cock in your mouth first. you finally wrapped your mouth around him, lowering your head as far as you could until he hit the back of your throat. the feeling of him in your mouth made your eyes roll back, with his moans making you have to resist the urge to finger yourself as you sucked his dick.

"b-baby ... fuck. don't stop. feels so fucking good."

he groaned at the feeling of your mouth speed up, his voice getting higher by the minute.

until incessant knocks began to bang against the door.

you yelped and jumped back, wiping your mouth before turning to jun with a questioning glance.

"jun-ah! come on! we're going to a movie. you're the only ones not ready."

jun groaned silently before speaking up, "i have plans, kwan!"

"i didnt ask. come on! just wake y/nie up. we'll be waiting downstairs!"

jun groaned once more, rubbing at his head frustratedly before beginning to get up.

"what? you're actually gonna go?", was he really gonna pass up getting his dick wet to go out with your friends?

"if we don't go they'll know we were doing more than just napping. come on," he wasnt enthusiastic at all about his words, but you still decided to follow him, making yourself as presentable as possible before heading down stairs with the man, matching pouts as neither of you got your fill of each other.

~

the next time was a bit more embarrassing. you hadn't been caught trying to fuck thus far, only ever being interrupted by unsuspecting friends who had no idea you were cursing them under your breaths.

this time, you were at mingyu's cabin. your fourteen member friend group had decided to coop yourselves up in the middle of the woods for a week in order to celebrate the christmas season. there were only five rooms, so the split was pretty even. in a very obvious turn of events, you and jun get paired up together, except since there were only five rooms, you had to welcome an extra roommate; minghao. it was an obvious decision, considering jun and minghao's close friendship and minghao's extremely quiet sleeping habits.

you were not planning on doing anything questionable with jun during your week-long stay, but most things never really go according to plan. you hadn't meant to end up on top of jun at 1:35 in the morning, tongues fighting against each other as you frantically ground against his hardened dick. you also did not plan to do so while an unsuspecting minghao was sleeping one bed over. but you had just been so pent up. and jun just looked so good with his messy blonde hair. you had been set up for failure, really.

"hmm. ba-baby ..." he attempted to pull away, but not really making that much of an effort as his hands were still holding onto your ass, helping you in your humping against him. you were lucky these were air mattresses, unable to make too much noise as you committed indecencies above it.

you ignored his complaints, knowing he wanted you just as badly as you did him. there was no way you'd miss out on his dick yet again. no one, not even your friends, would get in the way of you finally sinking on the delicious size of his member. just the thought of it had you mewling against his mouth, angling your hips so that your clit would receive enough stimulation to make you dizzy.

your clothes were pretty disheveled by now. your tank top had been lowered below your boobs in order to allow jun to play with them to his contentment. your shorts had ridden up due to his hands squeezing your ass every so often. his shirt had been ripped off by you a good while ago. his boxers were the only remaining survivor. you were both in a pretty incriminating state.

"junnie ..." you decided to be a little mean as you whispered against his ear, "want you to fuck me ... cant wait anymore. been aching for you so bad, please ... i'll let you hit it raw, just fuck me."

that seemed to break jun's resolve, as he immediately used his manly strength to separate you and attempt to pin you down under him; attempt being the operative word, as he, quite literally, threw the both of you off the bed. he must've miscalculated your distance from the edge of the bed, causing him to make you fall off the bed before almost landing his entire body weight on top you. as expected, this caused a loud noise to resonate throughout the cabin. it was only a few seconds later til the lights in the room were turned on and a few members started barging in, all wondering what noise had come from this room.

"you ... is she naked?!" it was chan, scandalized at the sight before him. you weren't naked, but you might as well have been as your shorts had ridden up enough to show your ass and your tits were almost in full display (were it not for jun's broad chest standing between you and the boys' line of sight).

"y-you! yah! all of you! stop looking at her! get out!", jun barked at them, who had all been standing near the door staring down at you two in shock. he then turned to minghao, "you too! out! go stay with jeonghannie! im tired of you guys getting in the way. i need to be alone with my girlfriend. LEAVE!", it was rare to see jun exasperated like that, but he was met with little resistance as the guys left one by one, sharing a few replies as they exited the room.

there were a few comments of

"damn, fucking while we're all here? based."

"jun hyung is hung, holy shit."

"how come i dont have a girl to fuck in front of my friends?"

"since we already know what's going on, can't we–" "NO" had interrupted jun.

it was all classy shit you'd expect from your friends.

jun then turned towards you, "baby, i'm so so sor-"

"shut up. they already know what we're up to, so i swear to god jun, if you don't fuck me right now, i'll go outside and take soonyoung up on his offer."

he laughed at this before dragging you up to lay you down on the bed once more, "sorry, not really into sharing. gonna make good on my promise now, okay? kept you waiting long enough."

"please just impale me already."

"yes, ma'am."

[writingwrench]

Confession (Stanford x Reader)

 I hope y’all enjoy! If you want me to write another or you have a suggestion, hit me up!

 Stanford glanced at the photo of the cheerful woman on his desk. She had this immutable, meanderous personality that he’d fallen hard for.

 Ever since they were younger, he’d had a type of respect for her enthusiastic and bubbly personality. Ever since high school (maybe even before then) he’d acquired an officious fervor for her. He didn’t really know how to tell her for fear of provoking some kind of rancor. 

 Even so, he ventured from his basement in search of his parsimonious heretic of a brother....

 “Stanley?” he asked,shutting the vending machine door. The twin was found sitting at the register, counting his day’s winnings.

 “Hey,bro!” he said, sea-tanned face splitting into a grin.

 “I need help,” Ford muttered,pulling a chair over to the counter and sitting down. 

 Stan set the money down,giving his brother his full attention. It wasn’t like him to ever ask for help. Even when they were on the Stan-O-War II.

 “I....I have feelings for (Y/N)....” he awkwardly began,hoping Stanley would understand. 

 Slowly, Stan began to smirk,before full acclaim filled the room. 

 “Finally, you admit it. It’s been over thirty years!” he laughed. Ford’s face was set aflame. He knew his brother wasn’t being callous, but he still felt somewhat ashamed for him to take this long to bring up the gall to tell her.

   Seeing Ford’s impression of a tomato, Stanley laughed again quietly,before,”Look,Poindexter, just go out there,hike up your big boy panties,  and tell her. She feels the same way...even though I don’t really understand, I am the better looking twin!” He grinned,winking. Which earned him an eye-roll from Ford.

 Still unsure, Ford, paused before the door, before Stan got fed up and just pushed him out to where (Y/N) was sitting with Dipper and Mabel. 

 “-I’m trying to nail that quack reporter for his actions,” She was saying. Stanford didn’t really understand what kind of conversation  he’d managed to walk into, but just hearing her voice, he’d instantly felt relieved. 

 “Hey, (N/N)?” he asked, nervousness seeping into his pores.

 “Hey, Ford!” she smiled brightly,turning to him. He stared at her for a moment, lost in her (E/C) eyes, before the awkward silence was broken by the angel he’d fell in love with.

 “What’s up?” she asked, not at all perturbed by the awkward silence. (She’d gotten used to it fairly quickly since Ford himself was such a cute, awkward person.)

 “I....um...I have to confess something,” he stuttered out, not meeting her eye for fear of peeing himself. He didn’t understand. He could take on demons and other horrifying creatures, but with a mere glance from (Y/N),his knees would buckle and he’d be a total loss for words.

 The girl raised a brow, signaling for him to continue....so he did.

 “I want...um...I would love.. gah,screw it! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!” he yelled,startling (Y/N) and the younger twins.

 It was quiet until- “OH MY GOSH,GRUNKLE FORD!!!!!”

 (Y/N)’s face tinted pink.

 “Kids,” she said shakily,”Please give us some privacy.”

 They did as told, making their way to the house. It wasn’t long before she saw two heads pop up over the window sill. 

 Rolling her eyes and grinning, she rushed over to Ford,tackling him in a fierce hug. They both landed with a thud,before surprised giggles filled the air.

 “I love you too,Ford,” (Y/N) said, still grinning before pulling him to her by the front of his overcoat. Their lips met. The kiss was sweet and passionate, the  both of them marveling at how long it took for them to get to this point.

 They disconnected, resting their foreheads on each other’s shoulder, and quietly grinning.

 “(Y/N), I’m so sorry it took me so long,” Ford finally said,breaking the silence.

 He was met with another kiss.

 “It’s alright,you dork,” she said, still grinning.

 It may have taken forever, but she finally felt truly wanted.

[kittievampire]

ok so i was on nightbringer and i get beel as a surprise guest.. and idk what they put in him for this game , cause one of his reactions was “You wanna play huh?” and i GASPED.. i mean gasped. dirty dirty thoughts r running through my mind right now. some of them being , does nightbringer era beel like brats..

does he like to play with bratty mc

and how would this line escalate…😫

immediately came to u cuz luv your writing 💞💞

Now I ain't gonna sit here and say this didn't do something to me because it fuckin did. I'm jealous nowwwwwww

Where's my "You wanna play huh?" WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS UGGGHHHHH

ANON SHAREEEEEE

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request

"You Wanna Play, Huh?"

Warnings: Smut, Brat Tamer! Beelzebub x Bratty! Reader, Fem! Reader, Spanking, Overstimulation, Creampie

Enjoy.

Beelzebub was always so innocent.

He was the very definition of a gentle giant; He was aware of his big stature, but he was always careful with you. That was what you loved, what made you fall for him.

You would try to subtly drop hints that you liked him, but he wasn't exactly one to catch on to non-verbal cues or innuendos. This, along with your shyness, led to you concealing your feelings and lusting for him in the privacy of your own room.

Every now and then, you'd walk in and catch him next to your bed, panting heavily and sweating profusely. When asked why he was there, he'd mumble something about a delicious smell and shuffle out of there with a blush on his face.

Once you got sent back in time, however, you were met with a slightly different Beelzebub. He was still innocent with a black hole for a stomach, but something was off. Something you couldn't put your finger on. Maybe it was the way the atmosphere changed when you teased him in private; Maybe it was the way he'd stare at you while at the dinner table, drooling, right after you'd finished masturbating.

You weren't entirely stupid, you could put two and two together, (Belphegor also made a good wingman when it came to stuff like this) and you knew that the Avatar of Gluttony had fallen for you. Not only that, but you could tell that he wanted you as well. Thus, you'd tease him, purposefully.

Perhaps that was your mistake.

_

When you offered to accompany Beelzebub to the gym for a nice workout, he was ecstatic, to say the least. He could finally spend some time with you, and you'd be doing one of the activities he loved to partake in! Maybe the two of you could go to Hell's Kitchen afterward for a nice meal; The thought made his mouth water.

There was also the guilty pleasure of seeing you in your workout clothing, which just so happened to be short shorts, a workout bra, and tennis shoes, that he got to indulge in. It was a win-win!

Of course, he didn't want to just gawk at you the whole time, he wanted to be more respectful of you, so he decided to busy himself with lifting weights, so he wouldn't be tempted to look at you. However, that quickly backfired when you offered to video him.

"Oh, I had a friend who worked out all the time. He'd have me film him working out so he could see what needed changing. You should start doing it, I heard it's really helpful." The way you batted your lashes at him while you said this made him melt. Surely you had no ill intentions, right? It was just filming. Maybe it truly would end up being beneficial.

For some odd reason, the way you were walking around him slowly with a D.D.D. in hand made him a little nervous. The sweat that had started to gather on his brow was not only his body's reaction to the exercise but also his self-control slowly leaving his body droplet by droplet. It wasn't only the fact that you were sexy, but also the fact that he loved you. You cared for him in a way that was different from the way his brothers would, a way that made him blush and feel less hungry. Hungry for food, at least.

Beel wasn't one to question your decisions or your actions, he always knew that you were intelligent and knew what you were doing. That being said, the sin couldn't help but wonder why you decided to climb on top of him while he was on the weight bench and start straddling him.

Now, he was in a tough spot. He shuddered a bit, struggling to keep a solid grip on the barbell. "W-Wha—?" You batted your lashes at him once more, lowering the phone just a little. "Keep going! I just wanted to get a better angle!"

Beel, even with all his self-control, could only manage to do a few more reps before he felt himself become increasingly tense in his nether regions. Thus, he carefully pushed the barbell back up and onto the j hooks, sliding down a little and sitting up. You jumped in surprise, a small pout forming on your lips as you paused the video. "Why'd you stop, Beel? You were doing so well, I thought you were gonna do more sets," You asked, placing a hand on his exposed chest as you leaned forward, pushing your body closer to his.

The Avatar of Gluttony jumped, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I'm hungry," He managed to sputter out, lifting his hand to help you off of him. However, his hand landed on your hip and you gasped, pushing your body against his, breasts squishing against his chest. Beel flinched once more, clenching his teeth as he felt his cock twitch. You placed your arms on his shoulders, looking up at him with your doe eyes and making sure he got a nice view of your breasts from above. "Beelzebub, did you mean to touch me there?" You asked softly, a blush present on your face.

This caused Beelzebub to go red in the face, turning away from you. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Can you... get up? I wanna go to Hell's Kitchen." At this point, the sin was desperate to get away from the situation, praying to Diavolo that you wouldn't notice his erection pushing up against your ass.

However, Beel was way too big not to notice.

And, unfortunately for him, you seem to notice this. You flinched and turned your head to the side slightly, pushing your ass against the bulge in his shorts. You could feel your brain going a mile a minute as you began to process his size. Biting your lip, you looked back up at him through your lashes. "Beel, what's that poking me, hm?" You asked softly, hips slowly beginning to move in a circular motion.

Beelzebub immediately gripped your hips to still you, causing a whine to erupt from your throat. "H-Hey! Why'd you—?" "Stop messing with me," He interrupted, magenta eyes peering down at you as his voice dropped an octave. You were a bit startled by the change in atmosphere, quickly taking a glance around the gym to see that there were only two other demons in there, both with earbuds in and focused on their workouts. The demon before you saw that you were distracted and immediately pulled you closer, the intimacy making you whimper. "I'm trying so hard, MC—" He pulled your hips closer to his, leaning closer so that his lips were next to your ear. "To control myself around you, but you just have to act out in public like this, don't you?"

You scoffed, turning your head away. "I don't know what you're talking about! You're the one with the perverted mind, not me," You said, a little too much attitude in your voice than he liked. He quirked a brow, pushing your hips down so that your clothed cunt would grind against the bulge in his pants. This made you gasp and whimper softly.

"So, you wanna play, huh?"

_

Now, you were pretty convinced that Beelzebub wasn't as innocent as you'd initially thought. At least, not at this very moment.

Loud moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin bounced off the walls and right back into your own ears as you lay there, face almost completely buried in the pillow as Beelzebub pounded into you from behind. He was so fucking huge, your poor little pussy was struggling to take him, but he thrust into you at an angle that made any discomfort unimportant. He held your hips in a vice-like grip, saliva running down his chin as he heard the lewd squelching of your soaking wet cunt in response to him drilling his cock into you.

Beelzebub grunted, halting his movements for a moment as he lifted your hips up toward him. "Keep them up," He huffed out, pulling himself out about halfway before slamming back in. You squealed into the pillow as you felt him hit your most sensitive spot, hips shaking as your legs were nearly giving out.

"P-Please, Beel, t-tired," You moaned out pleadingly. He lifted his hand slowly, bringing it down and delivering a hard slap to your ass. "You wanted this, didn't you?" He asked mockingly, squeezing the flesh of your ass that had gone red from his own hand. "Need more of your cum, MC. Gimme more." Beel delivered another harsh slap to your ass, right cheek glowing a bright red. Tears began to well up in your eyes. "Beel!" You cried out as his heavy balls slapped against your thighs.

The Avatar of Gluttony was drooling all over you, wanting more, needing more of you. He wasn't satisfied with just the one orgasm, no, he needed more. Three rounds in, of course, you're tired, but he can't stop.

You feel a shudder run down your spine, gripping the sheets below you as you feel your walls flutter around his length, another orgasm hitting you like a wave. Beel grunted as he felt your juices coating his cock, his thrusts becoming quicker with the additional lubrication. "Beel," You whined out. "B-Break, please?"

Beelzebub buried himself deep inside of you, tip pushing against the spongey spot that made you see stars. "I didn't cum yet, MC," He said, a playful frown forming on his face. "You wanted to be a brat, so I'm treating you like one. Brats don't get rewards, MC." He leaned forward, nibbling gently at your shoulder as you let out another loud cry of ecstasy. His pounding was merciless, your legs hanging on by a thread, just about giving out at this point.

You couldn't think straight, couldn't even hear or see properly. All you could think about was how roughly Beel was taking you and how much you absolutely adored it. If he could take you like this all the time, you may have to become accustomed to being sore.

"Are you getting distracted again?" Beelzebub asked, pulling his cock almost all the way out, the tip barely touching the heat of your insides before fully sheathing himself once more. It felt like the wind was knocked out of you, and your mouth dropped open, a silent scream escaping your lips. You heard him start to grunt and groan, hips stuttering as his thrusts became more and more desperate.

Beel lowered his hand, beginning to rub the bundle of nerves that he knew made you squirm. "B-Beelzebub!!" You whined out, walls squeezing his length ever so tightly. The Avatar of Gluttony began to pound into you even faster, grunting the phrases "Cumming" and "MC," over and over again like a mantra.

Before you could even register the approach of your climax, you felt yourself cry out the demon's name, feeling as he pushed himself deep inside of you, tip kissing your cervix as he came. You could feel his seed filling you up to the brim, a broken groan coming from the sin on top of you.

He thrust a couple more times to ride out his orgasm before slowly pulling out of you, his cum spilling out immediately as his cock left your cunt. Shakily, you allowed yourself to collapse into the sheets, closing your eyes as you felt him snuggle up behind you.

New knowledge of kinks had been discovered, maybe you could use this to your advantage. Well, that was something to leave for another day.

Now, you were attempting to figure out how the hell you were able to satisfy the Avatar of Gluttony. It was a nearly impossible feat, but you managed.

Perhaps you'll reward yourself with some sweets later.

"MC, can we do it again?"

Hope you liked it, anon!

Masterlist

[jamsterrr]

P1HARMONY . . . IMAGINES ⭑.ᐟ

P1HARMONY ,, on the perfect date.

( OT6 ) ‘ better together.

contains ‼️ : fluff , slight kissing , ass slapping ( let me know if i’m missing something )

a/n : lowkey didn’t realize how long these are 😟 ,, intak’s is my favorite 🥹‼️ I’m sorry for how bad some of these are 😭 I’ve had this for a couple of weeks and I’ve been trying to get them done, I’ll make up for it I promise 😖💙

link to my masterlist . . . !

KEEHO ‹𝟹 | 기호

The two of you decided to go to a concert, finding the right prices to your favorite artist, sure it was in the middle, but that didn’t matter. Having only been dating for 3 months, and with his strict schedule at times, it was hard to find time. But when he came back to your shared apartment together, the two of you knowing about the concert and the tickets, it was something you could pass up.

The two of you decided to were matching outfits. Going out shopping a couple days before. Drinking smoothies, eating what some would consider ‘ fair food ‘ , sharing kisses and joking. Just enjoying time together.

“You look beautiful.” He spoke as he looked at you, adjusting your skirt slightly, pulling it a little not down your legs. You looked back at him with a smile, checking out him as well, his toned arms, muscles flexed showing through the shirt. And he swore his body wasn’t up to par. “Thank you, the skirt really brings it all together don’t you think?” You asked, he nodded. His toothy smile appearing as he walked to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, the cold buckle of his belt hitting your stomach.

Keeho grabbed a handful of your ass, causing you to yelp, looking at him as he pressed a slight passionate kiss to your lips, you couldn’t help but to return it and kiss back. Your hands gripping onto the males shoulders.

After a couple of minutes, you pulled away as well as him so the two of you could catch your breath. “What was that for?” You asked, he laughed and shook his head. “Just kissing my girlfriend.” The male placed a soft smack to your ass, pulling away and taking your hand. Noticing your red face, but who wouldn’t?

The male opened the car door for you as he got in, starting the car and driving to the venue where the two of you would be seeing the person in concert. During the car ride, the two of you jammed to songs, laughed and told jokes. Your love language. Even though Keeho put sung you, you enjoyed hearing his voice.

“I’m just saying, $25 for some parking is so stupid.” He said, eventually finding a parking spot as you laughed, shaking your head. “I guess it’s just a way for them to make money” you shrugged, finishing the rest of your makeup, applying lipstick. “We already paid damn near $2,000 for some tickets, what do they want from me.” He finished the sentence off with a laugh, parking and shutting off the car. Of course he had to wait for you but after, the two of you held hands, swinging them as you got into the line.

V.I.P 1.

As you waited in line, the two of you talked, him back hugging you and the two of you taking pictures of each other, asking an older lady to take photos of the both of you. It was sweet and wholesome. As well as some people recognizing Keeho, but were totally respectful about the two of your privacies.

The line started to make its way inside, swiping the tickets the two of you grabbing something to drink, perhaps for your vocal cords. Once the two of you made your way to your respected place. Your heart began to fill up with excitement. Seeing your second favorite singer in concert, or just going to concerts and places in general was just so fun.

Keeho held your hand, swaying in the crowd as the stadium began to fill up, some music videos playing before the lights turned off. You looked around and to the male. Seeing such excitement in the males eyes as it was in yours.

And when the concert started it was like a sense of bliss and euphoria. The amazing sounds of the singers voices. It all was truly amazing. You sing along, got sweaty, screamed your heart out, with the male beside you. Holding your hand so the two of you wouldn’t get lost in the crowds of fans. It was all truly something. Truly perfect. Once the concert was over, the two of you made your way out of the building, a big smile on your face. “Babe..?” You mumbled as you looked at him, the male stopped in his tracks, looking at you as he hummed.

“I’m cold..” you whispered, rubbing your arms as the wind blew past you. Keeho laughed and took off your jacket. “I told you to bring a jacket.” He started and you rolled your eyes playfully. “I told you, it was either my outfit or my comfort, and I *had* to pick my outfit, it’s so nice!” You laughed and gently shoved his shoulder as he took off his jacket, allowing you to put it on. You wrapped it carefully around your arms as the jacket basically swallowed you, warming up your body in an instant.

The male softly took your hand and led you to the car, opening the door for you and getting in himself. When the two of you were ready, you both left and headed back to your shared apartment.

The two of you changed your clothes into something comfortable. Fangirling and boying about the concert as you laid comfortably on his chest and his long thin fingers rubbed shapes alongside your arm. “Thank you for today babe..” you mumbled, your eyes falling heavy. He smiled and shook his head, his chest slowly rising and falling as his eyes were closed as well. “It’s no problem, I’m glad we got to do it.” He replied. Your soft breath hitting his neck slightly as you moved your head to that area, a small kiss on his neck before you mumbled the words.

“It was perfect.”

THEO ‹𝟹 | 테오

Fishing was truly not your thing. No matter how much you tried to get used to it. Especially since it was one of your boyfriend’s favorite hobbies and past times. You still weren’t thrilled with the idea of going, but you wanted to at least experience it with him. Once. At least.

“I promise, it’s not as gross as you think!” He said excitedly. You nodded and smiled, looking at him. Doing things he loved always excited him, especially since you two always did things you liked.

“Do I have to touch the worms?” You asked. “Not unless you want to” he smiled and parked at a place. “We have to walk down from here” the male said as you nodded. Once the car was turned off, the both of you got out as Theo grabbed everything you needed. You grabbed the poles and the two of you followed a trail down to the fishing spots. A slight place covered in bush and trees. The spot was shady so the two of you wouldn’t get baked alive in the sun.

You also hauled the cooler that kept your snacks and drinks inside of it before setting the cooler down near the two chairs that Theo unfolded. It was peaceful, it was only you two so you could have some peace and this could be the perfect date for the two of you.

Sitting on the chair, you leaned back as Theo took off the lid to the worms. “I heard these always work better to catch fish, hopefully we can catch something for dinner” he laughed. Your eyes being glued to the lid. “I don’t know.. about that. But maybe” you laughed and leaned over.

Even though you were disgusted, you were still slightly fascinated with it. You watched as Theo’s skillful hands maneuvered his way through the dirt in the small can, wrapping the worm around the hook and tossing it into the water, leaning it on something sturdy so he could help you, who currently had your line tangled.

He laughed at you, helping you with the line. “Want to touch the worm?” The male asked as you shook your head fast. Did you really want to? Maybe. Were you going to? No. “Never, can you do it please~” you gently jumped as you looked at the slimy things, dig into the dirt, poor insects.

Theo laughed and nodded, doing the same thing for you he did for him. You stood up and picked up the pole once it was ready, tossing it into the water, using the techniques the male taught you. And some of the videos you watched on YouTube.

The rest of the fishing trip went okay, Theo attempting to throw some worms on you. You catching a fish. “Let’s put it back!” You shouted with soft eyes. “But we can sell him, make money~” Theo pleaded as the fish flopped around in the bucket. You shook your head and pouted.

“But he probably has a family, please.” You said, grabbing into his arm, gently tugging it before Theo gave in and let you toss the fish back into the water.

After that, every fish that Theo caught, he made sure to calculate it, take a picture and toss it back into the water after he’d look at your soft eyes. “I’m never taking you with me again” the male joked as the both of you carried the things back to the car. Setting them in their correct places so nothing would tip over. Theo shut the trunk of the car and wrapped his arms around your waist, his eyes staring at you. “I’m glad you at least decided to come with me..” he mumbled, pressing a small kiss to your lips.

“Even though everything was gross, I had the time of my life..” you started, pressing a kiss to his lips back. “But next time, I’m picking the date.”

JIUNG ‹𝟹 | 지웅

"I have nothing to wear!" You shouted, leaning your head on the closet door, puffing your cheeks. Your boyfriend, putting lotion on his body after his shower. You were currently wrapped in a towel, your hair dripping slightly as you checked around. It wasn't like you *didn't* have anything to wear. But you truthfully did need new clothes. Jiung laughed, his smile being seen even in the back of your mind.

His towel was wrapped around his waist as he looked at you. "Babe, there are so many clothes there, you can find something" he laughed. You looked at him, a slight glare. "Says the one with the best clothes" you frowned, staring at your clothes. "All of these suck.. old, old, holes, old. I have nothing!" You shouted, a slight fit being thrown by you.

Jiung hummed and sat on the edge of the bed. "How about we go shopping for you, get some food. That way we can have a nice day and you can get clothes out of it?" The male suggested as you turned around to look at him. Thinking, that wouldn't be such a bad idea. "Okay!" You shouted. He smiled and stood up, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to your lips. "Get dressed so we can go" he spoke softly and you nodded. A smile on your face.

You loved shopping, especially with Jiung. By the evident look of your outfit, you loved his clothes. His style. Truthfully everything about him. You were both now walking into a favorite store of yours. Jiung set on finding you some new clothes. The fabric of his jacket clinging to you. Picking something out he thought you might like. A black jean jacket. You looked at it and smiled. "Oh, that's cute! It would go amazing with my black skirt" you mentioned and he nodded, very well accustomed to the skirt all a little too well.

You continued looking around the store. Finding jackets, t-shirts, hats and pants to please your mind and body. Jiung was carrying the bags. Looking around the store, finding a cute and sparkly 4 leaf clover. "Oh, this is cute.." the male said with a soft smile as you looked at the clover. "It would look so good on you" you smiled, gently taking it. "I'll buy it for you" you smiled and he nodded. "Thank you" he said with a soft mumble.  The two of you continued to look around the store for a while.

Finally checking out after the two of you found everything you could possibly get. Spending at least 3 months rent on clothes. You carried a few bags even though Jiung refused to let you, smiling softly. The two of you made your way to the food court in the mall, getting some food as the two of you sat down, your head resting on the males shoulder.

"Thank you for today, you're such a sweetheart" you said softly, a soft kiss being placed on your cheek. "It's okay baby, I enjoy spending the time with you, and spoiling you" the male said as you chuckled. And it was true. You were both spoiled in love and in presents.

The two of you enjoyed the rest of your food, smiling as you took a piece of his food, taking a bite. "Hey~!" He shouted slightly, chuckling before humming. Doing the same to you.

Going back to the apartment the two of you shared, going back and trying on your clothes. Jiung leaned back and watched you try on the clothes, giving small opinions, majority of them good.

You laughed as you gently grabbed one of his bucket hats, the black one. Making your way over to him as you sat in his lap, his arms instantly wrapping around your waist. You gently placed the pin into the center of the hat, putting it on the males head before placing a soft kiss on his nose and his lips. "There you go. Something lucky for my lucky boy.." you said softly.

He looked at you, his eye smile bright before he gently pulled out a small necklace. Something you must've not noticed. "And a perfect necklace for my perfect woman." He said. Your heart fluttering as you looked at him with only love. Your heart was full, and you loved it.

INTAK ‹𝟹 | 인탁

You could see the frustration on your boyfriend's face. How his eyes furrowed, his fist clenched the pencil in his hand. He was currently in his home office, soft music in the background playing.  He had to write a song, but for some reason he'd been staring at the paper for a while. Only a few words could be seen.

Why was he having such a hard time?

He didn't even notice you leaning on the door frame before he groaned causing a frustrated face wipe to his face, hoping to relax the tension.

You didn't know if it was a good time to go to him and try to help soothe his distraught-ness, or to wait until he noticed you. In thought, Intak had already spun his chair around. His eyes softening when he saw you, his arms gently opening as you walked to him, sitting on his lap as his hands wrapped securely around your waist to hold you there. "Sorry.. I didn't want to interrupt you.." you said softly as he shook your head, dismissing your words.

"You're fine honey, I can't even think of anything to write right now.. so I'd rather spend time with you" he spoke, looking up at you before his head laid on your chest, his breath hitting your open skin as you brought your hands up and rubbed the back of the males head. To him, the feeling of you just rubbing his head, holding him or even just hearing your voice was like 1,000 pounds being lifted off of his shoulder.

"How about, we go out and do something hon?"  He looked at you. "I need to write.." he mumbled and you gently shook your head. "You can't think of anything right now, how about we just walk, get something to eat and maybe something will come to mind hmm?" You said, gently getting off his lap before he puffed his cheeks.

"I do-" he started but you shook your head and gave him a look. He reluctantly got up, nodding. "Okay, but let's be home before 8" he said and you nodded, running off to the room to put on something a little more appropriate than your ass cheek revealing shorts as Intak did the same. Spotting you getting ready and sliding on one of his shirts. "You're so cute." He mumbled as you laughed and shook your head.

Before the two of you knew it you were walking down the streets of Seoul, hand in hand as you looked for a restaurant to eat at, wondering what it was you both were in the mood for.

"How about fried chicken?" The male asked as you shook your head, a soft pout on your lips. "No.. we had that last night" you spoke as he nodded. "Yeah, but you can never go wrong with chicken." You wheezed the males hand. "Stop trying to get home, you are out here to look for your lyrics, look for a muse." Intak sighed, you were right. What would he do without you?

The two of you finally found your way to the restaurant you were heading to. You had already made up your mind on the food you were getting. Beef and broccoli. Yum~

Intak led you to a seat before he went up to order for the two of you as you watched him closely. He was so hard working, and hard on himself. Sometimes too hard on yourself and it made you sad. Watching him stress about lyrics. Erasing, deleting and having to take deep and long breathes just to come back and do it all over again.

Once Intak came back over, you made sure to do any and everything to take his mind off of writing.  You didn't want him to stress too much. Once the food got to the both of you, you ate and chatted. Mostly about random things. Things you wanted to do. And even having drawing competitions.

"No way, I'm such a great drawer!" You shouted, puffing out your cheeks. Intak laughed as he looked at your smile, gently leaning over and cupping your cheeks. "Your smile is what gets me through the day." You blushed and cleared your throat, pushing him gently. "Mmm stop it. You're only saying that because I'm your girlfriend." You rolled your eyes playfully. The male hummed. "You're right." You gasped and he gently pulled you close as you pushed his chest and then hugged him.

This was one of the best times the two of you have had in a while. It was perfect.

After the two of you ate, you got some dessert from an ice cream truck, making your way back to your shared apartment. Your hand on his.

( time skip )

You woke up to the sounds of humming. Getting out of bed you didn't spot Intak beside you. Feeing the empty space before you headed to where the soft hums were coming from. Intak's work space. You stood by the door. "Babe..?" Softly escaping your lips as he looked at you, a bright smile on his face. "What are you doing up at..?" You stopped to look at the clock. "3 am." You stated.

He smiled and ushered you to come and sit on his lap which you gladly did, resting your head on his shoulder, the sleepiness still evident in your movements. "After our date I got inspired.." he started, a small sleepy smile creeping on your face. "And I realized, you're my muse Y/N, I write better when you inspire me. Your smile, your voice. Just everything about you." He spoke.

You sat up to face with, a big smile on your face as your eyes opened. He looked at you and smiled. "That's the most romantic thing you've said to me all month." You joked and he playfully rolled his eyes. You cupped his cheeks. "I'm glad I could help."

The male gently leaned in and kissed you, your lips connecting to his before you gently hugged him.

You closed your eyes and let the male continue to work. Not daring to move a muscle so Intak could work and you could sleep.

SOUL ‹𝟹 | 소울

You and Soul stopped by your favorite food place. "What should we get?" You asked, your head laying on his shoulder as the two of you stood in line, gently slides up whenever people would place their order.

"Potatoes.. fries" he mumbled, arms wrapped comfortably around your waist. "Fries?" "Fries." He said and you nodded. Once it was the both of your turns, you ordered a meal for the both of you. Hamburger, basket of fries and two drinks.

Once paid and given your food, the two of you headed to the car, making your way down to the Han River where they were playing music. Multiple people out enjoying their time with significant others, family, pets and even their own children. It always warmed your heart to see others having an amazing time.

Soul carried the white picnic basket that carried the food, as well as a blanket the two of you would be sitting on. After a long week of you working, Soul at practice. The two of you needed a break.

You sat down the picnic basket after taking it from him and the two of you laying the blanket out across the grass. Placing yourself onto the seat, you quickly dug the food out of the bag and set it neatly on the blanket as Soul took a seat beside you.

Gently taking out the food and evenly distributing it between the both of you, you started to eat, enjoying the scenery as you watch Soul stuff a couple of fries in his mouth before he stood up, his body grooving to the music.

"Oh? Lunch and a show?" You teased and laughed as you took a sip of the drink, watching your boyfriend groove and dance to the music. Soul laughed at you, leaning down and grabbing his burger as you stood up, grooving your body to the music that was playing. Hearing the laughter of small kids and just people having a good time in general, you truly enjoyed it.

Soul wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned in, taking his thumb and wiping some of the sauce from your lip. "Messy." He laughed and you rolled your eyes, gently getting out of his hold.

The two of you sat down, sung to some of the songs and finished the food. Enjoying the sunset before you both packed up and went back to your shared place. Your mind far from any type of problems you had. This day was a perfect day. One you could enjoy with Soul and you planned to keep it that way. It was perfect.

JONGSEOB ‹𝟹 | 종섭

Jongseob grabbed the coins, looking at you as he jingled the cup full with golden tokens to you. “Really, Chuck E. Cheese out of all places?” You laughed, gently ruffling his hair. He gently rolled his eyes and swatted your hands away. “I haven’t been in a while, I think it’ll be fun. Come on!”

You used to come to Chuck E. Cheese a lot as a kid, it was somewhat of a pretty fun memory. “Okay, what should we do first?” You asked as he looked around. Spotting the racing seats open. “Let’s race, if i win. I get to style your hair for a week and vice versa if you win” he says and you him, going to the seats.

Jongseob entered two tokens into the slots, you both picking your characters and starting. The male tried to cheat, reaching over and attempting to tickle you, you moving your body swiftly. But it only backfired on him, causing him to become in 5th place. “Yeah pay attention” you shouted, laughing as you continued to drive, moving slightly to the side.

The game finished and you came in first place. Gasping and laughing as you looked over at the sulking boy. “You will be okay~” you laughed, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Fine, but nothing too crazy, I don’t want the guys picking on me~” he groaned and you nodded, agreeing to keep it at a minimum… maybe.

The two of you decided on another game. Basketball. Though Jongseob had a bit more of an advantage in height. The two of you continued to shoot the balls, taking your chance in attempting to distract him, but it didn’t work. Hun still beating you by 20 points.

“Ha-! You thought” he laughed and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head as he leaned down and collected the tickets.

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed his tickets, keeping them in the small purse you were carrying.

You and Jongseob played a few more games; ski ball, ticket collector, fishing, weasels hitting games. All in attempt for a big stuffed animal on the top hanging on the ceiling. “We have to get it” you would say each time your eyes glanced at it. Jongseob agreeing. “We can just put it in the middle of the bed” he smiled, and you agreed.

At the end, the two of you collected around 2,000 tickets. Being able to buy the capybara stuffed animal and a small stick of bubbles. Though you didn’t care for the bubbles too much as you clung to the stuffed animal. Once you got in the car, you tossed the capybara stuffed animal in the backseat gently. Jongseob smiled as the two of you talked about the date over the small sound of music in the background. Your head beating softly from the small headache you had.

But none the less, today was an amazing day.

[soft4gguk]

to build a home | chapter fifteen

Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.

Word count: 12.2k

Warnings: oof. let me keep it brief so i don’t spoil too much! it’s angsty. a looooong walk down memory lane. reminiscing. its kinda sad. but lucy’s holds oc through it all! bathroom quickie lol. unprotected sex (do better ok). a lil choking. a lil spanking. jk being an ass man!!!!! team mingyus u get to see ur boy!!! big gasp towards the end. 

Author’s note:  oh, boy! what have i DONE? lol. i’m not gonna say much. only that i love y’all with all my heart and i truly cannot wait to book club the fuck out of this chappie. sending x’s & o’s your way, always!!!!! <33333

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Chapter Fifteen

In the forty minutes you sleep, you manage to dream. It’s soft, tender and blue. It’s the ocean and Jungkook’s face, the sand on your toes, on your hands, falling from your fingers and getting caught in the wind, some landing on your face. He calls your name, beckoning you over, smile inviting as he walks backwards into the vastness of the sea. You smile, on your feet in no time before you’re running towards him, feet splashing salty water all over as you join him. You’re in his arms the second you’re close enough to him, legs wrapped around his waist as he lets his body fall into the water, deep, blue, your body never letting go of his. 

Your eyes open gently, head on his chest in the same position you’d fallen asleep in. Soori’s babbles coming from the baby monitor sound muffled as you incorporate yourself back into consciousness. Jungkook’s body is warm against the palm of your hand, breath steady as his chest rises and falls. You look up at him, not ready to leave his side, not ready to do what your brain demands of you the moment you start slipping into wakefulness. You close your eyes, snuggle your head in his chest once more, arm wrapping around him as you pull him closer to you ever so gently. He reciprocates your actions in his sleep, arm wrapping tighter around you as his head sinks further into the pillows. Soori’s not crying, you could probably stay like this for twenty more minutes, wrapped in his arms, closing your eyes and letting your mind and body be consumed with him so you don’t have to think. To really think. 

But you know it’s no use. You know that it’s over, whether you grant yourself the thirty minutes or not. It makes your heart ache, too weak to feel anger anymore. Too weak to even protest and try to put up a fight. You feel tears well up in the corner of yours eyes, and if you let them fall now, they won’t be able to stop. You pull away from him, your movements gentle as to not wake him up. You feel the bed move, making you stop in your tracks and glancing back to make sure he’s not awake. He simply lays on his side, snuggling himself into a pillow, his breathing letting you know that he’s still in deep sleep. You let yourself look at him, taking in his face, his body. He’s so beautiful it hurts. He’s so beautiful your heart begins to regain its strength some, becoming aware of him, swimming through the mud, about to beg you to keep going. But your brain is faster as you close your eyes, turning around and heading for the door. God, it hurts. It hurts to wake up, it hurts to walk. It hurts to feel him all over your body, the traces of the night you just shared still taking over your senses. His smell, his touch, the exhaustion that takes over you that borders as sweet because your body remains in that fucked out bliss only he knows how to put you in. 

The most reasonable part of you begs you to be strong. 

The most tender part of you begs you to turn back around.

You leave his room. 

You’re basically on your tiptoes, closing the door behind you gently, abstaining from making any noise. You think you manage pretty well, chanting victory a little too soon as you turn around and pretty much jump in place, hand coming to your mouth as you let out a yelp at the sight of Lucy standing in the hallway. 

“Good morning,” she says, jutting her hip out and tapping her feet on the ground as she crosses her arms in front of her body. 

“You scared the living shit out of me,” you whisper yell at her. 

“Of course I did, because you just got caught.”

You sigh, admitting defeat. “Come get Soori with me. She’s awake.”

“Will you explain?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she says, opening the door to your room. “Put some pants on first. And panties.”

“Shit,” you say, looking back at Jungkook’s room. 

“No use now. He’s got himself a souvenir.”

“Don’t be witty right now,” you tell her, rummaging through your bags to find a pair of pants. And panties. 

“___, you were bawling your eyes out last night. I was literally scared you’d put yourself through dehydration or something. So imagine my surprise when Jimin wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me that it sounded like someone was doing construction work inside of Jungkook’s room.” 

You bring your hand to your mouth, eyes widening in surprise at her words. “Oh my God.”

“Relax. He went to get a glass of water, we couldn’t hear anything. I’m sure nobody did.”

“Thank God,” you sigh.

“That is not the point. What is going on, ___?”

“It’s a long story,” she’s about to protest, “I’ll tell you over breakfast. Let’s get Soori first, though.”

She lets out a sigh of relief. “Let’s.”

~

And so you begin the recount of events. 

As you get Soori out of bed, you begin to tell her about that night, omitting any explicit details, of course. You tell her how you told him you loved him, tell her about his silence, about the way you dismissed your words in fear he wouldn’t reciprocate them. She passes you one of Soori’s sundresses, a cute black and white polka dotted one. 

“And what happened then?” She asks, rummaging through the suitcase Jungkook had packed for her and looking for a bow to match. 

“He didn’t say it back.”

“Oh,” she says, face falling even though she knew that much would be true. 

“Yeah. I guess at first I was just trying for it not to… hurt as much as it did. Sunday was nice, we spent the whole day by the pool with Soo. I don’t know. It almost made me feel like I could live with it, you know? With the fact that he hadn’t said it back.”

“Yeah, I get you. We like to tell ourselves lies to keep our feelings at bay. It’s a woman thing.”

The three of you sit on the floor, Soori in the middle as you brush her hair and get to work on her little pigtails whilst Lucy plays with her, helping her stack her pink wooden cubes on top of one another. You tell her about your rollercoaster of emotions, going through a failed attempt at suppressing your feelings, then the feminine rage all the way to the sadness plummeting so hard through you it made you restless. 

“I should’ve known. Nobody sings Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan like that for no reason.”

You laugh, albeit weakly. “Don’t feel bad. I knew that the moment I told you, it’d be real.” 

“No, I get that. But I just can’t believe that you went through all of this by yourself. I wish I could’ve… been there.”

You put a hand on top of hers, Soori following in your steps as she puts her chubby hand on top of yours, making the both of you laugh. Lucy looks at Soori, then back at you, concern lacing her features as she asks,

“Then what happened?”

You make your way down the stairs, Soori on your hip as she babbles sweet nothings to her giraffe and Lucy follows suit. You tell her about the book you’d found in Jungkook’s living room, the one filled with pictures of him and Ira. 

“God, they were really in love, weren’t they?”

“Yeah. Seems like it.”

“What on Earth happened?” Lucy asks, making her way into the kitchen, reaching down to pick Soori’s giraffe up that she’d dropped, smiling at her as she places it back in her hands. 

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. I have no clue about what could’ve possibly driven her to…,” you halt your words, not wanting to finish the sentence in front of Soori, as oblivious as she was right now as you sat her down on her high chair. 

“Jimin has said things to me,” she starts, her words a bit weak. “I mean, nothing much. Or too specific. But he told me Jungkook tried. He told me he really tried. He was a good partner to her… just like he’s a good dad to Soori.”

“You know, it’s funny. I never once for a second thought he wasn’t.”

“I did. I mean- you know him better than I do. And it all sounded so complex to me I thought that maybe he’d driven her away. But Jimin- he talks about Ira with so much spite. Almost hatred. And they used to be close. I mean, she’s in a picture frame at his parents’ house, for God’s sake! He made them remove it, of course, but-” you take her words in, looking into her eyes. “I don’t know. He tried and she left. That’s all I’ve gathered from what he’s said.”

“Yeah. I guess the picture book really made me realize that… they’d loved each other. Very much.”

“What happened then?”

You look at her, a bit of shame lacing your features. You look at the kitchen counter, remembering that night. 

“Well,” you start and your tone of voice gives you away. 

“Oh, brother.”

You tell her about that night, in code, of course. Tell her about how it’d been a weak moment for you, how the little altercation you’d had before had set the mood for the tension to be released in one way or the other. And well, you were only human. A bit weak at times. You also tell her how it made you feel even sadder, though. How having him physically but not emotionally was really beginning to take a toll on you the more you pondered on your situation. You both get started with breakfast, cutting Soori’s fruit and putting some on her high chair before you get to frying eggs, mashing avocados, toasting bread, making coffee. You tell her about your sad girl hours, well into the night. 

“I’ve stalked all of Jimin’s exes on Instagram. It was pure torture. I can’t imagine having so much access to her on Google. I think it would send me spiraling,” she says, passing you the spatula. 

“Oh, it did. The worst part is that I couldn’t hate her. I mean, there she was, on my phone screen, looking perfect with her sweet, low voice, saying all the right things. How can I hate her?” You flip your egg.

“I’ve heard a lot of those things are fabricated, though.”

“I don’t know, Lu. The way Mai and Taehyung talk about her in that book… it was all adding up.”

She sighs, taking a sip of her latte, passing a tiny square of avocado toast to Soori that she’d cut up. She takes it, smiling at her, making her swoon. She gets your attachment to her now. She’s so sweet. 

You decide to take breakfast to the garden, the morning serene before you, sky settling into darker shades of Blue. The waves of the ocean can be heard from where you stand and the air feels fresh, clean. You tell her about Jungkook closing his deal, about the night you’d called her in a desperate bout, asking her what to wear. You tell her about Lily. She understands, doesn’t judge when you tell her how jealous you’d felt, how it’d made your blood boil as she threw innuendos at him. 

“Oh, I would’ve-,” she looks over at Soori, who blows a raspberry before shoving a piece of egg right into her mouth. “She would’ve heard a number from me, certainly.”

“What can I say, though? Yeah, Lily. Don’t flirt with my- my boss! Who I have romantic feelings for because he talks to me so very sweetly and he,” you look down at Soori. “He is really good at… frolicking me.”

She lets out a loud laugh, hand covering her mouth as she’s mid bite. “Fair enough. Ugh!”

You laugh a little, too. Your heart finding respite in your best friend. “I know. So annoying.”

“I mean, he is quite handsome, ___.”

“Yeah. I never wanted to get a paper bag over his head more.”

She chuckles at your words, shaking her head before she’s sighing for what feels like the millionth time today. “Then what happened?”

You look up at her, bringing your iced coffee to your lips and taking a sip. 

“We frolicked.”

“___! What is it with this vicious cycle you’re in?”

“I don’t know! It just keeps happening! In my defense, he just… frolicked me with his-,” you point at your tongue. “That’s all we did.”

“That is not the feminist act you think it is.”

You chuckle. “Trust me, I know.”

“But then again, I can’t blame you.”

“You should.”

“I would never.”

You smile at her. It’s almost funny, the way your chest feels a little lighter, the way you can laugh through it all, even as you walk down memory lane on some of the saddest days of your life. Lucy was magic. 

“I was emotionally hungover the next day. All I could think about was how I was standing under Ira’s shadow. How maybe… I don’t know, he’d never be able to love me the way he loved her.”

“I get that. I mean, those are some big shoes to fill. And it has nothing to do with you. It’s more so all the years they spent together, everything they went through, you know,” she nods in Soori’s direction, “the whole ass child they had together.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. 

“So… what exactly happened yesterday? You were in pretty bad shape.”

You tell her about Mingyu. About what Jungkook said to you. She flinches, eyes squinting as she viscerally reacts to his low blow. 

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Ouch.”

“So much to unpack here.”

“Good luck trying.”

“I mean, he was jealous. Dare I say, he is jealous. And I mean, I can almost understand him. Not saying you did anything wrong, but he did walk inside his kitchen and there you were, drinking peppermint tea with his friend, wearing his navy blue Ralph Lauren sweater!”

“It was bad judgment on my part, I can admit. But also, I didn’t mean for it to mean anything. I was just… cold. And dumb.”

“You are not dumb. He’s dumb! Because if he would’ve been aware of you, if he got his head of out his ass then he would’ve been the one drinking peppermint tea with you and you would’ve been wearing his navy blue Ralph Lauren sweater. I bet you they have the same one.”

Her words make you laugh. “His words sure did sting, though.”

“Duh, no wonder. He was a bit brutal.”

“Like, does he really think I would do something like that?”

“And what if you did? I mean, ethically speaking, flirting with your boss’ friend is wrong. But, flirting with… a guy. At a BBQ? What’s wrong with that!”

“He’s his friend, Lucy.”

“And that’s what he gets for not making it exclusive and going back and forth with his little boy feelings! Playing with yours in the process!”

“It’s more complicated than that,” you defend.

“___,” she huffs, taking your hand in hers and looking into your eyes. “You are in a situationship.”

“Oh, God,” you gasp.

“With a grown ass man. A twenty eight year old male Paris Hilton.” You store that remark for when you need a laugh in the future, right now you’re too busy digesting her words. “Who also happens to be your boss. The person that puts food in your plate.”

“I know!”

“Yeah!”

“God!”

“Christ, even!”

“Fuck.” you whisper.

“I take it you guys didn’t really talk about what happened last night, you just got to… frolicking?”

“Yeah.” You lower your head in shame. “I just- I told myself that it was going to be the last time. That I’d confront him today- well, confront is a big word. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to make this any harder than it already is. Plus, I have to think about Soori. I can’t leave her. We’re just gonna have to learn how to be civil about all of this.”

“So you’re breaking up with him?” She sounds surprised. You frown.

“Breaking up is a big word for Elmo. We are not together.”

She decides to store your remark for a future laugh, she’s too busy digesting your words right now. “Just like that?”

“Just like what, Lu? I mean, what else is there? I- I pour my heart out to him. I tell him I love him. I give him all the time in the world for him to say it back. Say anything back! And nothing. He doesn’t love me. And it’s hurting me, Lucy. It’s hurting me so bad. The uncertainty, the hiding, the back and forth. I don’t think I can take it any longer.”

Lucy takes it all in. Sees the pain in your eyes, hears the desperation in your words. She feels it, too. Not just because she’s your best friend, and truly, genuinely believes you guys are connected through celestial magic, but also because she knew the feeling a little too well. The heart ache, the restless feeling that takes over you when love isn’t reciprocated, the anxiety of it all. She knows what it feels like to be so close to giving up. 

“You’re right,” she says. “You’re right, ___. You don’t deserve any of it. You don’t deserve having to sit through the uncertainty, you don’t deserve to be with someone that keeps you a secret. You don’t deserve to feel any of what you’ve felt in these past couple of weeks.” Her saying the words back to you hurt more than you uttering them, and it makes you realize that you were perhaps hoping she’d say the opposite. “It must’ve been horrible – to bare your heart out to him like that and not hearing it back. It must’ve been horrible to have to see him every day. For him to be completely oblivious towards your feelings.” 

“Yeah.” Your words are faint, barely there. 

Matter of fact, Lucy knows what it’s like to give up entirely. To completely submit yourself to what you so strongly believe is fate. She thinks of Jimin, a smile forming at her lips like muscle memory at the mere thought of him. She thinks of how deflated her heart felt the day she met him, how her pillow had been silent witness to her tears just the night before after she’d longingly stared at her computer screen, some love story making her crave what she thought could only be found in movies and fairy tales. She’d given up, yes. She’d sworn off men, had encouraged herself to be a little more realistic. To use her logic when it came to romance. 

Jimin had dismantled all of that with only five words. 

“Hi. I’m Jimin, and you?”

“But I don’t think you’ve tried hard enough.” Her words make you flinch, looking at her with confusion, feeling a little defensive from the get go. “Listen to me. Yes, you did the big, brave thing. You told him you loved him, you sat through the dismissal his words provoked, you cried all the tears and sang along to all the sad songs in the world. You probably watched Pride and Prejudice a couple of times, too.” It frightens you a little, how she knows you so well. “And that’s all valid. And honestly, fuck him for making you feel like that. I hope he steps on a lego, like, every day for the rest of his life. But also,” she pauses for a bit, leaning closer to you. “You didn’t talk to him. You didn’t tell him any of this that you’re telling me. Yes, he’s oblivious, but your silence basically encouraged it. Yes, he’s dense but you didn’t open up to him enough so as to know if it’s coming out of malice. Which, frankly, I don’t believe. As much as he is not on my good graces right now,” she rolls her eyes, “I don’t think he meant to… hurt you.”  

“I know, but-” you don’t know, actually. Your silence proving that much and so she continues.

“That day… when he showed up at our door, I didn’t know what was happening. All I knew was that my best friend was in bed, feeling sad, and wouldn’t tell me why. And then I opened the door, and there he was, looking all… sad. I almost wanted to slam the door on his face because I knew he was the reason, it all made sense to me right then and there. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t because he looked like he knew he’d… lost something. Something he wasn’t quite sure he could get back. He looked scared. And so I let him in.” 

“He did a shitty thing that day.”

“I know. It was very shitty. I truly hope the legos aren’t upside down. But,” she takes a breath, collecting her words for a second. “I guess, ever since that day I’ve been trying to decipher him. To decipher what he feels for you. It’s quite hard since, you know, you guys have to hide from the world or whatever. So I’ve taken to just… observing him. I’ve taken to looking at him when he’s looking at you. You barely notice, and I’m almost glad you don’t. I feel like if you would you’d break the little magic the moment holds. Maybe he’d shy away from the way his eyes get all shiny and he smiles in a way that lets me know he’s not really aware of it. And so a part of me is relieved, because I know that whatever it is, the feeling is pure. I went up to your bedroom yesterday because when I looked at him… he looked just the way he had that day in our front door.”

“Do you think he loves me?” 

Lucy’s heart breaks a little when you ask her, ever so faintly, a question that she doesn’t think she can answer. But nonetheless, she smiles, taking your hand in hers. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he loves you, ___. I don’t even know that he knows. Or that he can even become aware of it after all he’s been through. All I know is that you haven’t tried hard enough to figure it out. And it should never take a toll on your heart. It should never break you the way it did. But also, I think the reason why it did is because you had to carry the weight of it alone. I think… I think he would’ve at least been willing to help.”

“I don’t know, Lu…”

“Yeah. You don’t. Nobody knows. That’s the tricky side of it all. The one we run from the most because it means that we have to be even more vulnerable. Because we know we’re risking even worse of a heart break. But, could you live with yourself knowing you didn’t at least try? And I mean, really tried.”

“No.” The words come out of you before you can even think her question through. 

“Then you owe yourself at least that. Not him, not even my sappy, romantic self. You.”

You smile at her, lacing your fingers through hers. “What if I try and I’d been right all along?”

“Then I’ll be here. We’ll sing Chappell Roan together and I’ll make sure to scatter the legos all over his house myself.” Her face grows proud as she says this. 

You laugh. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Soori shrieks, making you both turn, laughing at her reaction. You walk over to her, taking her in your arms as you kiss her, swaying from side to side. She whines a little bit, voice muffled with the way you squeeze her cheeks with your kisses. 

“You’ll grow up and have the bestest friend ever, too, Soo Soo.”

Lucy looks at the two of you, can feel the way you radiate love. The way your whole face lights up as she brings her little chubby hand to your cheek, shrieking in excitement at your words that she doesn’t even understand, but that are coming from you. In that moment, she knows she’d given you the right advice. She knows it. She sees it.

From where she stands, the future paints itself rosy shades of pink. 

~

You feel your heart slowly mending itself, regaining its strength as the minutes pass and you bask in the sun, in Lucy’s words of comfort and her wise advice. In Soori’s little antics as the two of you play with her, letting her dip her toes in the water on the shallow end of the pool. You lather her body in sunblock and Lucy laughs at the white patches you intentionally leave on her cheeks. 

“She’s the most sensitive there,” you defend, running the lotion down her arms. 

“Okay, mommy.”

“This is my job, you know? Keeping the baby safe,” you mock defensiveness.

“Oh, please. Get so very real right now, ___.” 

“I am,” you laugh. “Although I will admit I do happen to love keeping the baby safe.”

She takes Soori in her arms, letting her splash about with her feet as she places her between her legs. “It’s okay, Soori. I’m the fun auntie.”

You look at them, a smile on your face as you revel in Soori’s sounds of excitement and Lucy’s tender nature towards her. You love seeing everyone melt for her, give her love and attention. 

“Ah, there you guys are!”

The three of you turn around, a smiling, pyjama-clad Jimin walking towards you. 

“Good morning, babe!” Lucy waves at him, bringing Soori’s little arm up, making her wave, too.

“Hi,” you say, a little shyly, all things considered.

“Good morning, ladies. Good morning, princess Soori.” He kisses Lucy’s lips, then Soori’s forehead. 

“How’d you sleep,” Lucy asks him.

“Good. Would’ve been better if I hadn’t woken up to an empty bed.”

“Sorry! Got hungry. Needed breakfast real bad.”

“You guys had breakfast already?”

“We’re on baby time,” you say, looking down at Soori whose arms are reaching out for Jimin. 

“Come here, baby,” he says, picking her up. 

“Gahhhh, my ovaries!” Lucy’s cries are dramatic as she throws her body back, falling on the grass, making you chuckle and raise your eyebrows at her. 

“Anytime, babe. I keep telling ya,” is all Jimin says, making you widen your eyes in shock. 

“Quit saying that, oh my God,” she whines. 

“Mr Jeon Jungkook has been looking everywhere for you,” he looks at Soori, looking at you next, “and you.”

“Oh, he’s awake?”

“Yup. I heard he had a long night,” he says, a little smirk forming at his lips. Your blush is so evident it actually makes him feel bad. 

“Jimin! Leave her alone,” Lucy says, coming to her feet. 

He laughs, throwing his head back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna…,” you point towards the house, ready to make your exit.

“You may be excused.” Jimin’s words earn him a scowl from his girlfriend, which humors him further. 

When you make your way back inside the house, you see Jungkook as he enters the living room. Eyes swollen, groggy with sleep, running a hand through his hair to try to fix his bedhead. And as much as your heart aches at the sight of him still, you also can’t help but smile, still in the high Lucy’s words had left you in. 

“Hey,” you say, making him look at you. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he walks towards you, hand reaching for yours, holding it for a second, squeezing before he’s letting go. The act alone is so gentle you think you could cry. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

You shrug. “Wanted to let you sleep in for a bit.”

“I should’ve let you sleep in.”

You shake your head, smiling at him. “It’s okay. We’ve been having a nice morning. Lucy joined us, we had breakfast outside. They’re by the pool now. I lathered her in sunscreen, don't worry.”

He smiles. “Thank you.”

You look around for a second, finding a door next to the hallway that leads to the kitchen. “What’s in there?”

He follows your line of vision. “A wine cellar.”

“Can we go there? Just for a minute,” you ask, and although your question makes him curious he simply nods, letting you lead the way. 

The door gives way to a spiral staircase, a bit narrow and small. You hold onto the railing, a particular yet pleasant smell invading your senses as you begin to descend. It’s woodsy, a little musky and fruity. It’s a bit chilly, too. 

“You’re really into wine,” you tell him, eyeing the many shelves stacked with bottles of all kind. White, red, pink, a couple of bottles of champagne. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking around, too. “I guess I’ve become my father.”

You laugh. “I like that about you.”

“What? That I’ve become my father?”

“No!” you say and he laughs at your reaction. “That you know a lot about wines.”

“Hm,” he hums, grabbing you by the waist and bringing you closer. “I can teach you if you want.”

“Go on.”

“Okay, so, the temperature in this room remains at a perfect 12 degrees celsius at all times. This prevents the wine from oxidizing,” his words falter a bit as you bring your hands to his hair, fingers massaging his scalp gently as you listen intently. “The cooling system is quite particular because it keeps the humidity in the air at a steady 60%. The temperature the wine is stored in really affects the complexity and balance of the-,” he groans in satisfaction as your fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Wine.” 

“Jungkook,” you look up at him, eyes dreamy and hazy. 

“___,” his voice hold the same nature. 

“Can you kiss me? Can,” you sigh, “can we kiss, a little, right now?”

“Yeah, baby. We can kiss a little right now.”

Your eyes lock on his, blinking slowly as you take in the way he takes you in. His eyes are shiny, and they smile before his lips do. You close your eyes, falling into him a bit before he’s catching you with his lips on yours. His hand comes up to your cheek, fingers snaking through your locks of hair as he brings you closer, sighing against your mouth. Your arms wrap around his waist, hands coming up inside his shirt, his skin warm at your touch. His teeth close around your bottom lip and you give him full access to your mouth, tongue meeting his, but it’s ever so slow. Tender, almost. 

It sort of dawns on him right then and there, something he’d been missing from you, making him realize that this is the most he’s gotten of you in a while. And he doesn’t mean your body, or your touch, or a kiss. No. He means the way you fall into him, the way you look at him, the way you ask him for affection in that way that he loves, so supple and pliant, almost shy. The way you hug him to you feels different, only there’s nothing different about it, it’s just been a long time. Jungkook can’t make much of it, mind too wrapped around your lips, just like his mouth, but it doesn’t miss him, how much he’s missed you and how suddenly the realization hits. 

“You want breakfast?” you part your lips from his and he pouts with his eyes still closed.

“I was in the middle of it.”

You laugh, shoving him playfully. “We can’t hide in the wine cellar forever.”

“All I need is, like,” he presses his hips against yours, “twenty minutes.”

You gasp. “Jungkook!”

“I just woke up! You took advantage of my vulnerable state.”

You roll your eyes. “I just wanted to kiss you a little.”

“Fine,” he huffs, mocking annoyance, the frown between his eyebrows falling when you put your lips on his one last time. 

Perhaps you’re playing with fire. Perhaps you’re stalling, buying yourself time before you have to put your plan in action, before you have to do the real hard work, thread the words needed to do it all. The courage, too. Perhaps you’re savoring the moment just in case this is your last. You try not to think about it too much, staying in the bliss you just put yourself in. You decide you’ll tell him once you’re both back from the beach. On tuesday, when he comes home from work. You’ll have time to craft a sensible plan, find the right words, benefit from Lucy’s sound advice a little longer. 

Yes. Tuesday it is. 

“What are the plans for today?” you ask as you make your way up the stairs.

“Pool party, burgers and, me personally, winning every game of Badminton.”

You laugh, nodding your head slowly. “I’ll be rooting for you.”

“Aw,” he coos. “My little cheerleader.”

“I can hear your thoughts, Jeon.”

“I can see you in a mini skirt, ___.” 

“Hey, I might. Just for you,” you say, looking back at him as you make your way to the kitchen. 

“Ah, you spoil me.”

You turn around, pointing a finger at him. “That’s true actually.”

“That’s true actually,” he mimics your voice when he says this, making you shove him playfully and open your mouth in shock. 

“Dada!” Soori’s sweet voice makes him turn around, a big smile on his face as she enters the living room in Jimin’s arms. 

“There you are, my little princess!” She falls into his arms the moment he’s close enough for her to, wrapping her chubby arms around his neck. “Aw, thank you, baby. You’re so sweet. Good morning.”

“Nana,” she says, pointing at you. Lucy and Jimin smile, although you don’t notice, too hyper fixated on Soori. 

“You wanna go with Nana?” Jungkook leans over towards you, handing her over before he’s pulling away playfully. She whines. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry,” he says, laughing. 

“Come here,” you tell her, arms outstretched and she falls into them swiftly. She giggles some, clapping two times before she’s turning back to Jungkook, shooting grabby hands at him.

“That’s what I thought.” He takes her into his arms. 

You gasp, feigning offense. “Traitor!”

“You guys are cute.” Jimin voices his thoughts out loud, unable to contain them as he takes the sweet scene in. He doesn’t voice how happy it makes him, though. He doesn’t tell you guys that seeing the three of you together like that makes him feel like he’d found the last piece of the puzzle – one he couldn’t when Ira was around and his expectations of seeing his best friend in a loving family dynamic sort of tumbled when she wouldn’t play her part. 

Jungkook looks over at him, smiling as he bounces Soori in his arms, whose already looking at you like she’s about to betray him this time. He smiles, silently agreeing with his friend, almost as if he understood what he was thinking. Almost like he was feeling it, too. 

~

“A tankini? Really, ___?”

“It’s cute! Plus, it’s appropriate for the job. Soori tends to tug at my clothes at times, I can’t wear a bikini.”

“No, no. I get that much,” Lucy says, “but a tankini?”

“It was on sale!”

“You get away with too much by being drop dead gorgeous and having the face of an angel.”

“Your compliments won’t make me want to wear my tankini any less.”

“I beg of you, don’t wear the tankini.”

“But it’s pink,” you protest, spirit a bit deflated although you know she’s kind of right. 

“May I?” She points at your suitcase and you nod, plopping down on the bed a little dramatically. “Okay, I see the potential,” she says, throwing shirts and dresses around. “This!” She holds a white strapless one piece swimsuit. It’s one of your favorites – simple but cute. 

“That one gives me a wedgie.”

“Something’s got to give!” She throws the bathing suit at you. “Also, don’t blame the swimsuit blame your thiccy.”

“Did you just call my ass thiccy?”

“Yeah, I got it from Jimin.”

“Ew,” you say, looking at her. “Ew.”

“Here,” she says, throwing an oversized blue button up shirt your way. 

“What about pants?”

“Use that as a dress!” You’re about to protest, “and that’s final.” 

You throw a firm nod her way. The shirt was long enough to pass as semi-modest so you opt out of protesting. 

“So,” she says, sitting on the spot you’d left empty on the bed as you begin to change. “Have you decided about when to talk to him?”

“Yeah,” you say, pulling the bathing suit up your body. “Tuesday. Tuesday after he comes home from work. I’ll have it all perfectly rehearsed in my head.”

Lucy smiles. “That’s good. The both of you will be well rested after this weekend and you’ll be able to have a sensible talk.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“Do try to, you know, sleep at night.”

“Shut up. I’m feeling fine! Running on caffeine and adrenaline, but fine.”

She laughs. “Ready?”

“Ready!”

“Let’s go.” 

“Wait,” you say, making her turn around, confused. She lets out a nod of understanding when she sees you grabbing Mingyu’s sweater, which you’d neatly folded to give back to him. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” she reassures. “It’s gonna be a good day!”

“God willing, Lucy Lu. God willing.”

You sigh, giving yourself a little pep talk for courage before you exit the room, ready to take on the day. 

~

The rest of the morning, as well as the beginning of the afternoon, had really catered to your inner child. Yes, it was your job to take care of Soori but the rest of the kids seemed to love you just as much and so your hands had been full. You’d swam in the pool with them, built sandcastles, played mermaids and even had a little water balloon fight that seemed to interest both the children and the adults alike. By the time noon hit and Jungkook and Taehyung were starting to roll the burgers around, you’d been convinced to sit at the kid’s table. Which wasn’t a table per say, as they’d wanted to have a little picnic and so you’d found yourself sitting on one of the many beach towels they’d retrieved from inside to make their own picnic blanket. 

It’d been sweet and fun, exactly what you needed after having to walk down memory lane this morning. And in a way, it added to the lighthearted mood you’d ended up your talk with Lucy in. Kids were easy – well, kids came easy to you. You found them to be less complex than people gave them credit for. They were easily entertained as long as you were willing to step inside their little world, which at times played out to be more entertaining than your own. 

By the time 3 p.m. rolled around you could start feeling the shift in atmosphere, though. They were exhausted, you included, as a sleepy Soori fuzzed about in your arms. 

“I think it’s time for a nap, kiddos,” Mai says, her words followed by whines of protest from the kids. 

Sun acts as the voice of reason, though, as she says, “but can we keep playing afterwards, auntie Mai?” she pleads, turning to you, “will you still play with us after nap time, ___? Pleeeeease.”

“Of course,” you tell her, free hand caressing her hair. “Plus, it’d be funner then because you guys will have more energy.”

“I am a little tired,” Dae says, his Rs running a bit, making him sound ten times more adorable. 

“See? We all need a nap. You guys can go inside the play room and make it a little mid-day pj party, how about that?” Mai’s idea comes as a success, the kids jumping with excitement, some even hugging her. She turns to you, voice a whisper when she says, “I’m kinda badass at this.”

Your lips form a pout and you nod at her. “You are.”

She smiles at you before she’s officially on nap duty, gathering all the kids and bringing them inside the house. You bounce Soori in your arms, her eyes half closed already, head wobbly as she fights to stay awake. You give her a kiss on the cheek, making your way to the sunbeds where the boys are drinking beers and talking about some game they’d watched the night prior, the team scoring the winning goal only three minutes before the game was over. 

“___!” Jin says the moment he sees you, making them all turn their heads in your direction. “Aren’t you god sent? I think my kids like you more than me today.”

“My kid likes her more than me at least once a week,” Taehyung says, smiling at you. 

“Thank you, thank you. I do birthdays, weddings, baptisms.” You say, making them all roar out in laughter. 

“You do have that midas touch when it comes to kids, ___.” Hobi tells you, leaning back and taking a sip of his beer. 

“I probably enjoyed that more than they did.” You smile, feeling a bit shy under their praise. 

Jungkook smiles, feigning a casual front as he takes a sip of his beer, eyes on you. Wet hair, a little ruffled from the day’s activities. A big blue shirt that’s mostly wet, too, and that bathing suit that as modest as he knows you tried to aim for, does very little to keep him away from what he knows is underneath. Your cheeks are officially crimson and your body golden. He can’t help it when his eyes travel down, the softness of your skin drawing him in. You’re nothing if not perfect and if he were to reach out, he could run his hand down your leg. Not sexually, per say. Just… touch. Touch so as to let you know what he thinks. What he feels. 

He composes himself for a second before his eyes are on Soori. “She ready for a nap?”

“Yup.” You nod at him, looking at Soori under your nose. She smiles and when you follow her line of vision you see that it’s Yoongi and his silly faces that pull it out of her. “I can go put her down, if you want.” 

“No, let’s go together,” he says, standing up, coming down to kiss her chubby cheek. He turns to his friends one last time, bowing before saying, “gentlemen, I’ll be back. Take this time to decide who’s ass I’m beating next in Badminton.”

As you turn around and walk towards the house, you can’t help but laugh at the remarks that follow, his friends absolutely going ham on him, all lighthearted blows he opts to ignore with a chuckle of his own. 

“You’re like the meme of the girl standing in front of the burning house.”

He looks at you, frowning in confusion. “Excuse me, what?”

“Oh my God, you’ve never seen the meme of the girl standing in front of the burning house?”

“No, but that sounds horrible. Was she okay?” You laugh as you turn to him, noticing the way real concern laces his features.

“It’s funny! It’s like a cult favorite, too. I’m pretty sure it’s been around for a while. Like back in the 9GAG days. You know, B.C.” You smirk his way, not missing the way he rolls his eyes at you. 

“Hey, I loved 9GAG. It was funny.”

“Of course you did.”

You step inside the house, walking in front of him and laughing when he pauses in his steps and says, “what’s wrong with 9GAG?”

“Nothing,” you tell him, smiling and dragging him upstairs by the arm. “It’s always an honor to be in the presence of people that have witnessed history.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he tells you, chuckling at your little bout of wittiness. 

You make it inside of Soori’s nursery, promptly changing her diaper and getting her into a pair of dry pyjamas. She falls asleep halfway into this, making you both laugh and bask in a quiet satisfaction at realizing just how much fun she’d been having. When you put her in her crib, you take a second to just look at her, neither of you saying much, simply taking her in. 

“She’s perfect, huh,” you whisper. 

“She’s so perfect,” he whispers back.

Jungkook smiles at her before turning to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and kissing your cheek. It all feels… domestic. Tender, lovely and sweet. The knot in your stomach that’d been growing bigger and bigger for the past couple of weeks begins to break, slowly, releasing a small army of butterflies that seem to both excite and calm your nerves. You kiss his cheek, basking in the bliss his proximity brings. 

“Let’s go back,” you tell him, “you have asses to kick.”

He smiles, lips coming to yours in a quick peck. “You should relax. Drink some wine with the girls, get some sun.”

“If I have one sip of wine and lay by the sun I’ll probably end up like her,” you say, looking down at Soori.

“Do it, baby. I got her.” 

The knot breaks entirely, wings fluttering violently as they’re freed after so long. 

You’re in love. 

~

You’d taken Jungkook’s advice, laying on the sunbeds with the girls, glass of wine in hand as you snack on the fruit platter Mai and Seulgi had prepared. You’d even fallen asleep for all of fifteen minutes, which had recharged your battery more than you’d originally thought. You’d think it’d be quieter with all the kids sleeping, but the boys and their very serious game of Badminton kept the ambiance just as loud as before. At one point, you’d all taken the roles of spectators and cheerleaders, rooting for your competitor of choice. Jungkook won, yet again, and you didn’t miss the smile he shot your way, overly confident in his skills. Overly confident in his ability to pull reactions out of you. This one in particular he’d found adorable, seeing the way you flustered at his actions, hiding your face in your hands for a second before you went back to feigning nonchalance. 

Now you were all scattered around. Some in the pool, some by the beach, a couple of you still in the sunbeds, soft music playing from the speakers. It was rather blissful, if you were being honest. 

You’re in the middle of small, lazy talk with Mai when you suddenly remember,

“Oh, I have to get Soori’s swimming diapers. She ran out but Jungkook said he had spare ones somewhere…”

“Oh, yeah,” Mai says, “he keeps them in the pool house. Go inside the bathroom, they should be in one of the drawers.”

You smile at her, thanking her before you’re making your way to the small, white house that sat at the end of the big backyard. Making your way inside you see that it’s mostly for storage. Floaties, surfboards, spare sunbeds. You notice that the door to the bathroom is open slightly, but don’t make much of it as you walk towards it. Both you and Jungkook let out a loud scream when he appears by the door frame. 

“Holy fuck.” You whisper yell, hand on your mouth. 

“You scared the living shit out of me.” His own hand comes to his chest, leaning against the counter and steadying his breathing.

“Me? You scared the living shit out of me! Why are you in there with the lights off like a crazy person?”

“Why didn’t you turn the lights on when you came in like a normal person?”

You both stare at each other for a second too long before you’re breaking out in laughter. 

“I came to get Soori’s diapers,” you tell him, mid-chuckle. 

He raises his hand, showing you a handful of diapers. “Me too.”

“Ah,” you say, walking closer to him. “Great minds think alike.”

“Mhm,” he leans against the counter once again as you stand in front of him. “My heart’s beating so fast, dude.”

You laugh. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

“Hey, you can’t dude me.”

You roll your eyes at him playfully. “Fine. You’re so dramatic, Jungkookie.”

“I’m not! Look,” he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his bare chest and placing it over his heart. He’s still wet from the pool, skin warm from the sun. His heart is beating a little irregularly, you must admit. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, adding to the drama of it all as your voice grows soft. “I’ll put a bell around my neck the next time so I don’t startle you.”

“Ha ha, funny.”

“Oh, I am.”

You can’t explain it, but the air shifts around you. Jungkook can’t explain it either, but he welcomes it. 

“Yeah?” 

You smile, cheeks growing red for whatever reason. Or perhaps for all the right reasons. He can dismantle you with a few words and that’s one your favorites by far.

“Yeah,” you breathe, eyes growing heavy as his own look into yours. In a matter of seconds they’re landing on your lips. And then he’s kissing you. 

The kiss holds the same nature this morning’s had, perhaps a little less playful. A little more intentional. Like you’re both finding a means to an end just so you can bask in the journey of getting there. When you sigh into his lips, Jungkook brings you closer, hand on your cheek as he parts your lips with his tongue. The kiss grows heady, your fingers carding through his wet locks and his hands land on your waist, squeezing some before he’s turning you around until you’re leaning on the counter. The swiftness with which he handles your body has a moan escaping your lips and he feels the way you smile against his mouth. He pushes his hips into yours, drunk on you already, determined to pull those little sounds out of you. 

“Wait,” you say, parting your lips from his, laughing a little when you see his flustered state, lips red and swollen in his signature pout. “What if someone walks in?” He smiles, eyes not leaving yours as he leans to the side and closes the door, locking it in a beat. He’s about to kiss you again but you interrupt him. “Soori?”

“Baby monitor in my back pocket.” He kisses you. “We’ve got like, twenty minutes give or take.”

You laugh, kissing him back, arms wrapping around his neck as you breathe into the kiss in giddy anticipation. “Think you can make me cum in twenty minutes give or take?”

He pulls away, but it’s only an inch. He scowls, a smile on his lips that takes your breath away. “Is that a challenge?”

The air shifts yet again, air growing dense this time. “Yeah,” is all you can muster.

“What do I get?” 

You hum, pretending you’re deep in thought. “Me?”

“I’ll do it in ten.” 

You laugh, sweet music to his ears and his smile meets yours in a kiss. It’s deeper this time, grows sloppy soon enough and Jungkook wastes no time as his hand cups your tits over your bathing suit, grunting a bit at the fabric getting in the way before he’s pulling it down in one swift movement. He brings his mouth to your nipple, expert little sucks that have you throwing your head back as your fingers pull at his hair. You lean back, head hitting the mirror as your breathing grows heavier. When you come back up, you push him back with a hand to his chest as you come to stand in front of him. You erase the frown from his face the moment he sees the way you roll the white fabric of your swimsuit down your legs, leaning back against the counter. 

“Better than the mini skirt,” he says, towering over you as he pushes his hands against the counter. 

You bite your lip, smiling at him with dark eyes before you’re turning around, your hands falling in front of you, tits pressing together as you push your ass back against him. You look at his reflection on the mirror, giggle a bit when you catch him staring, lust filled eyes scanning over your body. 

“Like what you see?” your voice is teasing, cocky even, and it comes to no surprise when Jungkook’s firm hand comes to your waist, holding you in place before he delivers a hard smack to your ass. The pain translates to pleasure in a brief yet delicious second, eyes closing as you moan and bring your body forward. His hand lingers for a while, softer this time as he caresses the warm skin before his fingers travel south, parting your slit and drawing lazy circles against your clit. 

“You’re so wet, baby.”

“Fuck, I am,” you pant, head lolling forward as you breathe into his touch. 

“You’re a little brat today,” he says, matter of factly, staring at your reflection in the mirror as his fingers expertly pull little moans from your lips. 

You look up at him, fucked out eyes pleading, “need you inside me.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Yes,” your words get caught up in a whiny moan when he pushes two fingers inside of you. “Please.”

“That’s more like it. So pretty when you ask nicely.”

His eyes don't leave yours and you see the way he pushes his swim shorts down slightly, wrapping a hand around his cock before he’s lining himself against your entrance. He teases your hole with the head, smirking at the way you squirm in his hold at the mere action. He wishes he could tease you further, but Jungkook’s time is limited and he knows that much. He pushes his cock inside of you, gasping when he bottoms out. His hips pick up the pace right away, wasting no time as he starts fucking you the way he does when all he wants is to make you cum, perfectly angled so he hits all the right places repeatedly. 

“Fuck, that feels so good, baby,” you mumble, words breaking at the intensity of his thrusts. You close your eyes, try to steady your breathing out but he has other plans as his hand wraps around your neck, pulling you up some as his fingers close around your throat. 

“Keep your eyes open.” 

He looks at you through the reflection in the mirror, takes you in as he fucks you, a low groan escaping his lips when he feels you clench around him. His face contorts in pleasure, a grin pulling at his lips when he realizes you’re already close. The hand that wraps around your throat tightens, applying more pressure at the flesh, making you feel a bit lightheaded in the most perfect way, aiding to the way your senses zero in on him and the way he makes you feel. You know you’re close the moment your tummy tenses, his cock massaging your g-spot with each push and pull of his hips. 

“Oh my God,” you breathe out, hand clasping around his own as you make him press harder. “Don’t stop.”

He moans at your actions, at the way you beg for more with your body when your words fail. He keeps that exact pace up, thumb and middle finger pressing into your throat a bit deeper, just the right amount to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your body falling back into him, head on his shoulder as you cum around his cock with a silent moan. The sight before him feels straight out of the craziest of his wet dreams and it makes his cock throb inside of you as your walls milk him through your orgasm. 

Your body shakes a bit as you fall on top of the counter, your hand coming to his hip to get him to stop moving for a second as you cringe a bit in overstimulation. 

“Victory is sweet,” he says, bringing his hand to your back, fingers running down your spine in a soothing manner. 

You smile at him. “I was confident all along. Just needed an excuse to get you to fuck me.”

“Aw, baby. All you had to do was ask.” 

He pulls your body up, hands on your hips as he turns you around and sits you back on the counter. He lets out a low grunt when he pushes his cock back inside you, your pussy pulling him in right away and he knows he won’t last long. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” 

You giggle, brains completely fucked out before you say, “we’re having a quickie in the bathroom.”

Jungkook scoffs, hands closing around your tits, hips thrusting into you slower, letting himself enjoy it. His head falls, eyes fixed on the way his cock pushes inside of you, moaning at the sight alone. His gaze travels up, taking you in. It’s so hot inside the bathroom he can feel the way his body sticks to yours every time he fucks into you. A single drop of sweat falls from your chest, traveling between your tits before it lands on your navel. His eyes close in a mix of bliss, disbelief and pleasure. 

“You’re so sexy, baby. Shit, I’m so close.”

“Cum for me, Kook. Need it so bad.”

Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you kiss him, lips locked in his as he breathes out into the kiss, little whines leaving him as he lets himself fall into the feeling completely. You become conscious of him, let yourself enjoy him in this state, when he’s so close to letting go he grows a little desperate, hands all over yours, needy sounds passing his lips, hips lazily moving into you. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he says against your lips, pulling away so he can bury his head down the crook of your neck. He gets carried away – too carried away. His cock throbs inside of you, hips slowing down their pace as his body tenses for a second. He’s about to let himself relax, let himself cum, and it’s then that he realizes he’s still inside of you. “Fuck.” he looks down, pulling out and wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping once before he’s cumming on your leg. You bring a hand to your mouth when you notice, trying to muffle your laughter. “Shit, that was close.”

“Yeah,” you say, bringing his face to yours. “Got carried away?”

“Yeah. Completely let go of the principles of conception for a good minute.”

You laugh. “No conception would’ve taken place. It would’ve been a creampie at the max.”

“Don’t say the word creampie, my dick just jumped and we can’t go again.”

“You’re such a boy,” you say, bringing your lips to his. 

“I’m a man,” he protests, words muffled by your kiss. 

“Mm, yeah you are. You’re also a daddy so let’s get those diapers inside.”

“Don’t say the D-word, my dick just jumped for real and we really can’t go again.”

“Oh my God. You’re so filthy minded!”

You push him off of you playfully, pulling his shorts up before you’re doing the same with your previously discarded swimsuit, jumping a bit as you roll it past your ass. Jungkook smirks at your struggle. 

“Mmmm,” he hums. “Do that again.”

“Have I ever told you you’re an ass man?”

“I’m a you man, baby.”

“Shut up.”

“Shut me up.”

“Oh my God!” 

You both laugh at your flustered state that only seems to edge him on further, but it’s short lived. Your hands land on the door knob of the pool house at the same time, making you giggle before your smiles are falling as you realize that you’re about to do the walk of shame and have no idea how to get out of it.

“Shit,” you say. 

“Shit, indeed,” he says back. 

~

To your fortune, the walk of shame isn’t that bad. It isn’t bad at all, actually. The kids had woken up from their naps and had everyone’s attention so nobody noticed your absence much. To your misfortune (and Jungkook’s) it doesn’t take you long to realize that Mingyu keeps Dae entertained as they play around with water guns. 

Jungkook lets out a big sigh that you don’t miss before he’s clearing his throat and saying, “hey, bro. You made it.”

“Hey,” he says, a little too giddy for his friend’s liking. “Yeah, sorry I’m late. Went on a hike this morning, could barely move afterwards.” He waves at you, a smile on his face.

“Gotta work on that stamina,” Jungkook says, mostly playfully with a little hint of something else. 

“You should come with me the next time, we can work on it together,” he bites back, no hint of anything but playfulness in his words. 

His eyes land back on yours and you give him a tight lipped smile, taking the diapers from Jungkook’s hands before you’re letting him know that you’re gonna go get Soori. He smiles, feels the need to pull you closer, give you a kiss in front of everyone, take your hand in his. Anything. But he doesn’t. He just nods and then you’re on your way. He doesn’t miss the way his friend’s eyes scan over your body, a stupid smile plastered all over his face that makes his blood boil a little. 

You don’t really notice it, though, making your way inside the house and going up the stairs to make it to Soori’s room. She’s awake, jumping a little when she sees you walk inside the room. 

“Hi, baby,” you coo. “Did you have a good nap? Are you ready to keep having fun?”

“Nana,” she whines, making grabby hands at you. 

“Come here.” You get her out of the crib, taking her to her changing table before you’re getting her swimming diapers on and putting her in a clean swimsuit with cute daisies printed all over it. “You’re so cute.” You kiss her cheeks repeatedly until she gets ticklish, pushing you away as she cackles.

You sit her against your hip before you exit her nursery, walking the long hallways and going down the stairs as you sing her a little song she babbles along to. It’s then that you brave yourself for what you’re about to do, walking inside the kitchen, quickly finding Mingyu’s sweater that you’d left on top of the breakfast table this morning. It’ll be quick and harmless. You’ll just hand it over to him, thank him and go about your business. 

It’s a good plan. A great plan even. It’s also a plan that crashes down before it can even take off as you see him make his way inside the kitchen. 

“And so we meet again.” He smiles when he sees you, looking down at Soori and smiling even wider. 

“Hey,” you say, a bit nervously. 

“Came to get some beers, the boys are out.” He walks closer to you, hand coming down to rest on top of Soori’s head as he caresses her hair softly. “Hi Soo Soo.” She smiles, falling into his arms as quickly as he reaches them out towards her. It’s in that moment that you realize that he’s closer to Jungkook than you’d originally thought. He has to be if Soori’s this comfortable around him. 

“Thank you,” you say, passing his sweater over to him. 

“No worries. Sure you don’t wanna keep it? It’s gonna be just as chilly tonight.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“You kinda disappeared last night,” he says, bouncing Soori on his hip, looking down at her so as to not have to look at you when he says this. 

“Yeah, I was really tired, couldn’t get to bed soon enough.”

“It was nice getting to talk to you. I was looking forward to today… just so we could do it again.” He laughs a little, shaking his head at his words. He doesn’t mind your silence, though. “I was thinking… maybe we could grab a coffee when we’re back in the city?”

“Coffee,” you say, and he can’t tell if it’s a question or a statement. 

“Or dinner! Or a movie, or something. Just… hang out. Get to know each other.”

“I’m sorry… I- I don’t think that’s gonna work.”

He smiles. “Yeah, perhaps me asking you this right now isn’t the smartest move, huh?” He looks down at Soori. You’re silent yet again. “Perhaps I’ll leave it up to fate.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps we’ll bump into each other in some random place like the grocery store or in the middle of a really busy street and… I’ll ask you again. And perhaps you’ll say yes.”

You feel bad. You feel bad because as dense as you might be when it comes to receiving attention, you don’t fail to see that he likes you. Genuinely, sincerely likes you. Or at least likes the idea of you enough to want to pursue it further and get to know you. 

“Or hey,” he says, making you look into his eyes again. “Maybe I’ll make my own fate.”

~

“Sorry what,” Jungkook’s head turns so fast he’s sure he’s given himself whiplash, grateful to not have taken the sip of beer he’d planned on the moment he started talking because he’s sure he would’ve spat it out. 

Mingyu’s idea of making his own fate was… something, to say the least. And so there he was, next to Jungkook as they both started the fire for the grill, asking him to be his wingman. 

“I mean, perhaps it was a bit wrong of me to ask her out while she’s on, you know,” he says, looking at Jungkook and pointing at him with the tongs, “the clock and whatnot. But fuck I don’t know. She’s just so-” he sees the way Jungkook looks at him in shock and it makes him chuckle. “Am I making any sense right now?”

“No.”

“Yesterday- we hit it off. But you know, it was casual. We barely got to know each other in a,” he pauses for a second, and every pause makes Jungkook’s blood boil further. “Deeper level. So I tried to not look into it that much. But then I got home and got in bed and all I could think about was her. Like, fuck, I felt eighteen again. She’s so beautiful. She’s so fucking sweet. And so I knew it couldn’t end there. So I just asked her out.”

“When?”

“In the kitchen, when I went to get the beers. She was giving me my sweater back and I thought to myself, might as well.”

“And what did she say,” Jungkook asks. 

“She said no. She said she doesn’t think it’s gonna work.” Jungkook lets out a breath he very much knew he was holding. “But I blame myself for that. I mean, I get why she wouldn’t agree to it right now. She’s technically on the clock, like I said, and I get why it could be perceived as inappropriate.” 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, eyes a little lost, quite literally begging for the earth to swallow him. 

“But that’s where you come into the picture.”

“How exactly do I come into the picture,” he says, but what he really thinks is, I already am in the picture, dumbass. She’s mine. He also realizes this would be an extremely childish thing of him to say.

“Well, you know, we’ve been friends for so long. You can put in a good word for me, sort of encourage her to-”

“You want me to encourage my nanny into going on a date with my friend?” His words have edge to it but Jungkook doesn’t care anymore, not that Mingyu seems to notice, too caught up in the visions of a future with you he’s formed inside his head. 

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, I get it,” Jungkook scoffs. “But, you know, maybe you could do it in a lighthearted manner. Like, yeah he’s a great guy! You totally deserve to be happy! You know, kinda like… a brotherly figure. Yeah! That’s it!”

“You’re fucking insane.” Now he really doesn’t care that his words have bite to them. And Mingyu’s head is still way up in the clouds for him to notice they do. 

He chuckles. “Maybe I am. But she’s…,” his eyes find you in the crowd, “different. She’s special you know?” 

Yes, I know, is what Jungkook wants to say. But instead he says nothing. 

Mingyu looks back at him. “But hey, I’ll find a way. I’m telling you, man. This was written in the stars. Luck is on my side. Then you can play cupid,” he says, patting his back. 

Jungkook laughs faintly. Not because anything’s funny, but because he’s glad the conversation is over. 

“I’ll be right back.”

“Sure, I’ll get this started,” Mingyu says, motioning to the grill. 

Jungkook tries to stop it, but he can’t help it. He feels the way his heart constricts inside his chest. He’s angry, furious even, but he can’t do anything to release said anger. He had to sit through that conversation and pretend like his friend’s words were only fucked up because he was trying to get with his nanny, not because he was trying to get with his- 

Girlfriend.

Jungkook wants to call you his girlfriend but he knows he can’t. He knows he has no right to call you that because you aren’t his girlfriend. Because Taehyung was right – you guys weren’t exclusive. You didn’t owe him anything. Not a title he hadn’t asked for. Nor loyalty. Nothing. If you wanted to, you could very well accept Mingyu’s proposal. He was there, at your disposal, and perhaps even in ways Jungkook hadn’t been. He’d been straightforward with you. Bold, even. Jungkook almost had to admire it. He’d gone up to you and simply… asked you out. Showed interest, shot his shot. He liked you. He liked you and Jungkook knew he liked you in a way that you deserved. The realization sinks into him, a punch that knocks the air out of him as he makes his way through the garden and out into the beach. 

He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice you noticing him. But you do. You notice the way he talks to Mingyu, see the way his eyes grow darker with each passing second. You see the way he pushes the anger that threatens to leave him away. See the way he makes his way through the garden, steps a bit lost, like he doesn’t know where he’s going. You see the way his face falls with every step until they land in what you can only describe as sadness. The moment he’s out of sight, you excuse yourself from the conversation you’d halfheartedly been in, and go after him. 

He faces the ocean, takes in the sun as it begins to set, the air growing colder around him, the breeze making the waves choppier before they break at his feet. His mind is blank now and he’s almost grateful, his thoughts unable to attack him any further. All he can focus on is the sky turning colors and the ache that grows inside his chest. 

“Jungkook.”

Your voice is a whisper that gets caught up in the wind and for a second you think he doesn’t hear you, but then he’s turning his head around, eyes on yours as you make your way to him. The sand feels heavy on your feet, almost like it wants to stop you. But once you’re face to face with him he smiles. He smiles and you almost want to buy it but you know it’s not fully there. Nonetheless, you smile back. Your lips pulling up with the same nature as his. 

“Hi,” he says, looking at you for what the eternity of a second can hold before his gaze is back to the blue of the sea and the pink of the sky. 

“What happened?” You don’t have to pretend like you don’t know something did. You see the way he smiles again, only this time it holds something more. Bitterness, perhaps. 

He doesn’t look at you when he says, “Mingyu told me.”

“Told you what?”

“About him asking you out… he really likes you, you know?”

“Jungkook, I’m sorry. I- I said no. I told him-”

“I know,” he says, and it’s soft, holds no anger or resentment. “I guess that I’m just realizing that if you hadn’t said no… I couldn’t really hold it against you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your voice grows faint, a silent plea. You want him to look at you. 

“I can’t pretend like you owe me anything. And that’s on me, I guess. No- I know. I know it’s on me. And so I guess it’s catching up to me.”

You scoff, turning your face away from his, your own gaze fixated on the sea. The sky paints itself orange. You wrap your arms around your body, shaking your head in disbelief. 

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

He’s silent, and for once you welcome it. You don’t think the words you say next could leave you if he weren’t. And although brave, your voice is soft when you say,

“Jungkook, I love you.” You feel it when his eyes are on you. “I love you,” you shrug, a faint laugh leaving your lips. “I love you in the heat of the moment and I love you in the warmth of it. I love you when it’s cold. I love you when it’s freezing, even. I love you. And you don’t get it still. And perhaps I should try and find better words in hopes that you’d understand but I’m afraid that all I have is…,”

You pause, look into his eyes. 

“I love you.”

~

★taglist★

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[itsjunear]

Shadows and Whispers

Note: Hello loves! I'll try to be more active and post more often, maybe once a week (this is my proof that I'm trying 😀). It's really been a long week for me, but I truly appreciate and I'm so happy for the support the previous post received. I'm very grateful for the likes, reblogs, and comments 💙💙💙 I'm not sure if I should make a second part of that one, but in the meantime, here's this. I hope you enjoy it, and sorry if it's a mess! Again, remember that English is not my first language, but if there are any mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know! I’m leaving the song I wrote this with, the slow version sounds really good :)

P.S.: I’m not really sure if this would work in ACOTAR, but I don’t know, I just liked the idea.

Words: +1k

Warnings: none, slight mention of tension

Summary: Reader and Azriel are sent on an undercover mission where they must pretend to be a couple. Reader has unresolved feelings, and the closeness with the shadowsinger leaves her confused.

The Mother definitely had a twisted sense of humor.

I was certain that in this life, I was paying for each and every bad thing I had done in my previous ones. If not, what would be the point of all this?

I had to suppress the complaint lodged in my throat ever since I had left the meeting with Rhys and he had communicated his plans for the Autumn Court.

Why? Why did these things always happen to me?

I could have gone with Cassian, Mor, or even Amren. I wouldn’t have had any issue pretending to be the lover of one of them. But of course, I had to go and pretend with Azriel.

Rhys had received a formal invitation to a ball in the Autumn Court, but decided to send us instead to investigate the political situation surrounding that entire red-haired family and how the stir was being perceived by the court’s nobles. Evidently, we were supposed to look as distracted as possible to catch any murmurs here and there, and the simplest way to do that was by pretending we were simply there to enjoy the evening as a couple in love.

Fantastic, I thought.

"I try to respect your privacy and not intrude on your thoughts" I heard Rhys’s voice in my head "but the way you’re shouting them, I could hear them even from the scraps of the Spring Court."

I grimaced but didn’t respond, letting the anger fill my mind so that he could feel it.

"Why are you so… irritated?" I heard him ask with genuine curiosity, and I sighed.

Rhys could dig just a little and find the reason, but he would never dare. Not without my permission.

"What do you care" I barked mentally, sulking.

I’d apologize later for speaking to my High Lord like that, but right now, I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears, and I guessed he could too because a laugh echoed in my mind before it simply vanished.

"Idiot" was the last thing I thought before raising my mental walls and reinforcing them with everything I had.

By the Cauldron, what was the problem? Well, for starters, I wasn’t in love with Cassian or Mor.

Hell, I had even suggested going with Amren to avoid going through this. Going undercover with Cassian was impossible—Nesta’s scent was all over him, and it wasn’t a secret that he had a mate. Mor was in the Winter Court visiting Viviane, and Amren… well, she was busy with Varian.

So that only left the shadowsinger and me free. Plus, neither of us was involved with anyone publicly, so we were the perfect candidates.

This time I didn’t suppress the groan of exasperation as I headed to my own room in the House of the River. I missed the company of the House of Wind, but now that Cassian and Nesta were there, it was impossible for me to stay—for the sake of my mental health, I fled that place. So I sighed and nearly cried when I reached my bed, bracing myself and trying to find the strength to endure what would happen in a few days.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two nights had passed. Two damned nights sleeping like shit, practicing a mask of indifference and composure that I clearly didn’t feel.

I had also been more sensitive than usual, so I tried to avoid everyone, including Azriel. However, I saw Cassian every morning at training, and although I felt him casting strange glances at me, anticipating my mood, he didn’t ask about it. For that, I was grateful.

In a few hours, Azriel and I would be on our way to the Autumn Court, and I was just trying to control my breathing to avoid panicking. Even now, my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t fasten the endless buttons on the back of the pretty midnight blue dress, adorned with some crystals at the top and quite fitted from the waist down. Courtesy of Rhys.

A knock on the door distracted me from the mission, and holding the top of the dress to my chest, I opened it to come face to face with the man I had been avoiding with all my might.

I had to restrain myself from shrinking away upon seeing him in all his glory—not dressed in Illyrian leathers, but in a formal suit the same color as my dress, fitted in all the right places that made him look out of this world. If you added the large wings behind his back, the stoic hazel gaze, and the tendrils of shadows that surrounded him, giving him a mysterious and irresistible air… My breath faltered a bit.

He scanned me from head to toe as well, and the shiver that ran through me was completely involuntary. His gaze burned, but I did nothing to break the silence in which we were immersed.

"You look… beautiful" he finally said, hesitating a bit.

I swallowed hard and looked away, unsure of how to act. I had never been shy about receiving compliments, but when they came from him, they managed to destabilize me.

"Thanks" I whispered "You look great too."

Azriel nodded, and I saw his eyes drift to my chest, right where my hands were holding the dress.

"I need help with the buttons" I said in a tired tone.

He nodded again and entered my room, closing the door slowly. His shadows roamed freely, and I felt one of them caress my braided hair, making me smile.

"Sorry" Azriel apologized as he gestured for me to turn around.

I shook my head.

"I like them" I replied with a smile that died the moment I felt his fingers touch the exposed skin of my back.

"And they like you" he answered in his usual calm tone.

I didn’t respond, fearing my voice would tremble, and I focused on avoiding my skin from tingling wherever his touched. I even resorted to thinking about the painful blows to the stomach that Cassian gave during training when Azriel’s hands brushed dangerously low on my back.

I knew he also noticed the tension by the way his wings were tucked, but he didn’t say anything. Finally, I released the breath I had been holding once he finished and he removed his hands, though a strange sense of loss invaded me. Nevertheless, I ignored it.

A moment later, I turned around and faced him, tilting my head back to meet his eyes now that we were so close.

"Rhys told me you had certain… reservations about this" he broke the silence, looking at me with a calm expression.

Of course, he had told him.

I almost scoffed.

I opened my mouth to respond, but he interrupted me.

"We won’t do anything you haven’t consented to or that makes you uncomfortable"

I frowned.

"Of course I know that, Az. It’s just that I doubt this will work" I responded, smoothing out my dress a little.

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Though that wasn’t the main reason. It all boiled down to the fact that doing this with him made me nervous.

"It will" he reassured me. "Rhys and I have evaluated all the scenarios. We are the most credible for this plan. Just trust me"

I nodded, though I couldn’t shake the slight anxiety of having him so close.

The shadow from before wrapped around my arm, making me smile again. Even though the touch was cold, it didn’t feel strange, so I didn’t fear playing with it with one of my fingers, not realizing I was practically brushing Azriel’s wing membrane until I noticed his shiver and the way his breath escaped him. I quickly pulled my hand away and looked at him only to find him with his eyes shut and the rest of his shadows slightly agitated.

"I’m sorry, Az" I apologized. "I’m so sorry"

I knew how reserved the Illyrians were about their wings and how they shouldn’t be touched, so his silence only increased the unease brewing inside me.

"It’s fine" he replied slowly after a moment. "It’s nothing" but I could see him swallowing hard.

I bit the inside of my cheek but said nothing more.

"We should go now" he spoke after a moment.

I nodded and took one of his hands, preparing to pretend I was in love with him, according to that stupid plan. When in reality, I would stop pretending I wasn't, for a moment.

That was what terrified me—letting my feelings out and not being able to hide them again after tonight.

But there was no turning back now.

"Ready?"

No.

"Yes" I responded with the steadiest tone I could muster.

He gave me a deep look before I felt the shadows envelop us, and soon the room lit up, leaving us at the entrance of the grand hall of the Autumn Court.

Then, I let go of one of his hands and gently brought it to his cheek, trying to convey my intentions. He held my gaze for a second before bending obediently, giving me the opportunity to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.

The sensations exploded inside me, but I held back. This was a mission, I reminded myself. So why did his hand immediately curve around my waist?

This is just a mission, I repeated.

I pulled away a moment later, smiling softly at him. Before we both straightened up.

I supposed we had made it quite clear that we were together by kissing in front of all these people. I made sure to do it at the entrance so everyone would see, and I guessed Az understood too by the slight squeeze he gave my hand.

I looked at him one last time, letting a bit of my love for him escape. And then I turned towards the crowd, with a bright smile.

All right, the game had begun.

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