#resolving to do a little bit better about that bcs this really is a passion project. i just dont usually note down ones i want to post

[jennyfromthebes]

2006-08-10 at 40 Watt Club, Athens GA, taped by Sloan Simpson

Listening to this tape on recommendation from a friend and I gotta say it really does not disappoint. Worth noting that on the LMA page the files have been misnamed, but that doesn't make it any less of a killer tape!

The Mountain Goats collection on the Live Music Archive has 450+ live recordings and spans from 1992 to present day! Live Tapes Tuesday is a weekly post aiming to make the extensive collection a little more accessible by spotlighting a different tape every week. // What’s the Live Music Archive?

[chalkanthit]

For the SE HC ask: 4!!!

Going for SE Askboard @h0lly-hued-s0ul has made!

Ik it's a bit late but better late than never dkfbdokf

Also going for most of the youngsters bc they're my little precious weirdos uu

Offer a hobby-related headcannon for any character.

Soul

We should all be aware by now that soul is a huge music nerd even if he's pretending to be "just casual" About it but somehow I could even imagine that his guilty pleasure is also baking since... Have you seen the cute little tea and cakes he sometimes brings Maka when she's studying for exams like crazy??? He claims he just buys them from "that one little bakery" That Maka suspiciously never finds but in secret (not really) he really does them by himself and is proud when they're well liked!!

Maka

She's deffenly a little sport nerd kinda girl that got to like things like Basketball and soccer/football quite a lot, but she also would still enjoy a good book (or ten) at times as well next to solving crossword puzzles and other Puzzles and riddles!

Basically everything that makes her Brain go brrrr! Also idk how much it's connected to the hobby aspect, but I hat girl would have Duolingo on her phone and use it almost religiously every evening before bed!

Oh but also she would have a big knack for poetry and writing overall even if she's sometimes quite shy about it since Soul and Black star made fun of it a few times-

Tsubaki

Everything around gardening and cooking???

She also would simply enjoy long walks and nice quality time with her friends since Tsubaki really is this comfy person that likes a calm life but also the fun and more adventureous aspects of it;;;

A part of me can also imagine that she'd enjoy something like Yoga and Ice skating a lot when she gets the chance to do it in peace-

Black star

Sports nerd! Everything that resolves around movement and putting his brain on serotonin 24/7 with the bees on crack he apparently has in his butt-

But also we already saw that he also enjoys comics a LOT and would totally be into video games as well even if he would loose to patty constantly!

Kid

He'd actually like things that put his mind off ease? Like he very much enjoys cleaning much more in a healthy but for many weird manner since who likes cleaning am I right?? But also is very open and keen to things like Chess and plenty of other board games he most likely plays with Liz and Patty almost every Saturday night unless Liz manages to escape :')

Also hey! I can imagine him liking to draw a lot as well together with Patty Duke while listening to murder mystery podcasts-

Liz

Shopping and dancing Q U E E N!

Ik it's basic but hear me out! She just loves fashion a lot and can give people a lot of advice for this topic and would occasionally do makeovers if you let her!

She just blooms so much doing that and seeing how much people can show their other sides as a well! Also my bc especially is that it was initially her idea when Crona was kidnapped on a shopping spree and she would even just offer Ox so many hair stuff in hopes he'll finally STOP shaving it all off like bro.. PLEASE!

Other than that she also got those moves and surprisingly knows a lot about music as well so her, soul and Kilik can actually connect and vibe together super easily and well!

Patty

Again, patty is a huge art person!

Of course she likes other things like beating people up with a passion, but she just loves to be creative and takes almost every medium bc why not trying everything and see how it goes??? Life is too short to be boring and plain!! Patty would most likely also like to bake as well but her creations are.... Experimental to say the least-

At least Stein and Ragnarok do like her stuff weirdly enough..

Kim

Also a little doodle enthusiast but she really would have a knack for Crochet and knitting too since Jackie has taught her the latter! She would rather die than to admit her hobbies and pleasures but she's a big softie when it comes to her interests!

God forbid people would even find out that she likes "girly" Stuff like figure skating and dancing as well.. Oh the horror!

Omg she would also have a secret love for flower arrangements as well but that's just me having more lore and hcs for her past as well that I won't (and likely never will) fully elaborate on :'DD

Jackie

Similar to Kim she loves knitting but also has a big talent and interest in Tayloring as well?? That girl probably had a bit horse phase as well and would actually love to get back into it at some point but a horse in the middle of Nevada is a little too much to ask for-

A bicycle would do as well I guess???

Idk why but Jackie seems a little bit of a person that enjoys Theatre and Musicals a lot as well so take that for what it-

Also little side note I want to add bc it's sth very dear and personal to me but glass engraving and the like?? It just fits quite a bit to her qvq

Kilik

Batic and Linol printed shirts!

The shirts he wears? Self made! The necklace?? Probably as well!! Also another music and Sports enthusiast even if he's more into more combat related sports rather than just running around for a good time!

He seeks the thrill and the surprising so unless you throw something at him out of the blue, he'd just see it as plain and simple training-

The drums are also his hobby but it's less than a hc than it is actually canon in the manga;;;

Overall he's pretty much an everyman kinda guy that has a good amount of Hobbies and interests that overlap with many others he sees as friends!

Fire & Thunder

They're still young as hell so I can't say AS much about them as I like to but they give a lot of crafty energy and would probably get a collecting hobby phase as well like for crystals and all!

Less for the esoteric aspect but more for the minerals itself!

Ox

Again not as much of an HC than it is a fact, but that guy takes a lot or enjoyment into research and other things that make his brain tingle like chess for example! Like he just LOVES burying himself into old history and folklore about plenty of topics and cultures and can easily spend days in it if Harvar wouldn't remind him to eat something in between-

Again I really don't know why, but something in me also knocks at my brain doors and continuesly shoves the HC in my head that Ox actually has a talent to actually draw?? Not like Patty where it's very imaginary and expressive, but more in a sense of scenes and architecture!! Basically pretty black and white and stuff!!

Harvar

It's super ironic but like Kim he actually has some hobbies he either won't admit to or people simply wouldn't believe it since why would a guy like him he interested in something like THAT???

Like liking to go swimming is one thing people could still get behind bc he hates boredom with a passion so it's good to stay active but him actually being into exact the same comics as black star is just super funny in my and it's very much the absolute opposite of Harvar sooo..

Omg but on top of that just.. Imagine him actually do liking video games but nothing like a souls game, but f*cking animal Crossing-

Of course he also likes research and chess a lot like Ox (even tho he's by far more competitive there) but he screams like Modelling as well! (The crafty stuff like building trains or Lego etc)

He just SUCKS at art tho which actually frustrated him-

Bonus

Crona

Crona most likely would catch some interest for poetry and other writing related things as well since they can actually express themselves much better with it without having to speak about it and they don't even have to show it to others as well.. It actually already helps that it exists in the first place and that they have something they can look at like "I made that!"

Aka bullet journaling sounds like sth tame enough for them but still sth to keep their mind somewhere unrelated to u know.. The whole childhood ordeal-

Basically they would enjoy many things that won't put Crona into the spotlight or that is to be shared forcefully so even if it's just reading something, it's just.. Nice;;

Also please give Crona sth calm like Animal Crossing-

Let them share an island with Harvar or Maka dkxbfodndp

Gopher

He sees something that peeks his (or Noah's) intetest, he HAS to overanalyze it and write every crucial detail down!

Like we don't just talk about one smarty little journal! I'm talking about whole Bookshelves worth of Infos written by that puppet alone!! Even his calligraphy and poetry/writing skills and hobbies are top notch and would rub it under Makas nose a LOT!

Hell he would do it so much that even Ox would have to remind him that he was meant to be Makas super annoying rival and not him pfffff!

(You could say that annoying Maka is also a passion of Gopher)

He would actually like to just casually fly and travel around a lot as well even if it's something he just does to get a job done.. If he'd focus more on the aspect itself, there would be much more appreciation etc!!

Also God forbid but he'd be into dnd as well-

My brain tells me to so it must be true!/j

THANKS FOR COMING TO MY INCOHERENT RAMBLING!!!

[romanceismycallingcard]

I was babysitting tonight, and we watched Barbie Island Princess. I don't know how many of you are familiar with this movie, but I started laughing halfway through bc I started imagining it as an untamed au 😂 but it was so easy to imagine! It basically wrote itself.

Like. Imagine Wei Wuxian getting capsized at a young age and ending up on an island (burial mounds) where he learns to survive by talking to the dead who are abandoned there and surviving on cultivating resentful energy.

A decade later, Lan Zhan and his brother come to the island to see if there's anything they can do to resolve the amount of resentful energy coming from this one island which is starting to affect the nearest lands (which are still very far away). And they discover Wei Ying and his friends (wq & wn & a-yuan, who were abandoned there and left for dead) and want to take them back to civilization.

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are pretty much gone for each other from the first day.

(Prince) Lan Zhan wants to marry Wei Ying, but his parents/Uncle/elders disapprove bc Wei Ying is uncivilized. And they're also trying to marry him off to a better prospect. They want him to settle down and stop chasing chaos.

The villain in the movie is a mom trying to marry her very sweet daughter off to the prince so that she can take over. And I'm struggling to come up with a parallel. I'm thinking either Jin Guangshan trying to marry off Prince Jin Zixuan. Or advisor Meng Yao trying to marry off Prince Nie Huaisang. (Edit: def kinda leaning towards Nie Huaisang now bc he's artsy like the girl in the movie and also he helps in the end to stop the villain person. But Jin Zixuan has the bonus of being ultra awkward and also a romantic. So either way, it really works.)

And then of course at the end, Wei Wuxian is reconnected with the Jiang Siblings who were family friends before the shipwreck that ended the lives of Wei Wuxian's parents and caused him to end up on the Burial Mounds Island.

Okay but like seriously I love this movie. It's like the little mermaid meets my fair lady meets pretty woman. And I genuinely love the prince character so much. He's such a charming sweetie of a dork. And he loves barbie's character Ro so much from the beginning bc she's so different, all natural, and has similar passions to him. This movie is so wholesome. I just love the characters. And the music. And the plot.

Also the prince is really great bc he so earnestly wants to marry her from day one and he's so willing to stand up to his parents for her. It doesn't bother him that she's so different or 'uncivilized' and he doesn't have the arrogance or prejudice that he very easily could have just bc of being born as a prince. He's such a good, honorable, and earnest guy. And a bit of a dork. Lan Zhan could be him so easily.

One of the best things about this movie is the prince interacting with the girl he's supposed to marry and it's soooo awkward bc they literally have nothing in common. at. all. And the movie does it so well! They try so hard to find something to talk about and it just keeps going nowhere. Now imagine that with Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang or Jin Zixuan. But they still end up as good friends in the end bc they are SWEETIES!

Also it makes me laugh to think of Wei Wuxian as Barbie. Bc it works really too well. Good character. Can do anything. Literally. Beautiful. Has ditsy or idealistic moments. Suffers hardship but stays good and kind anyway. Fights for the benefit of others. They're both really just so Good (TM).

[ubemango]

delicacies of the season (m)

part 3: days apart

note: hey!! What’s up!! first, I officially have named this series!! it’s right up there for ur viewing glory! ok anyway here’s something before I disappear for the next four weeks because I am drowning in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also just a side thingie for this story: I’ve already established that oc isn’t on birth control but here I’m implying that they’re doing natural planning (i.e. fertility awareness where the person who menstruates keeps up with their cycle and thus only has sex when their cycles allows for it). PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS UNLESS YOU KNOW THE RISKS!!!!!!!! Oh Lord putting your impregnation chances up to God?! I couldn’t do it. But also this is fanfiction and nothing bad will happen to this couple so let’s all just... suspend disbelief for a second ok

PAIRING. taehyung/reader GENRE. romance, farmer au RATED. M WORD COUNT. 2.5k WARNINGS. kitchen sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, a good ol’ creampie bc wot is the ubemango experience without one :/ SUMMARY. Taehyung missed you.

Auntie Gaeul comes over when the rooster crows to tell you to check out the passion fruits today. They’re ripe not because she’s seen them but because she just knows. Call it the Elder Instinct for Ripened Foods. You tell her you’ll give her half the harvest, and she swats at you before she leaves.

“Stop being so polite, I’m not that old,” she spits in jest. “And make some of that honey iced tea your grandma makes. If there’s extra, then I’ll have some.”

Taehyung would probably like some, too; he chugs down anything with passion fruit like he’s about to go into hibernation. And when you come back home from the fields with a basket-full perched heavy on your back, you resolve to make some tea right away to bring over to his house to see if he’s there. You haven’t seen him in five days—his cousin had the stomach flu, and his aunt needed the extra help with tending to the livestock. Being the eldest nephew (and the only one who can drive a motorcycle) had him obligated right from the get-go.

“Grandma! Can you show me where you put the honey jars, I can’t remember where they are. And can you help me peel these—um. You’re not Grandma,” you stop.

Taehyung looks up from where he’s perched on the stairs of your awning, flicking bits of strawberries to the ground for Danbi to eat. Your little puppy scrounges it up so fast she nearly falls over on her fluffy bum.

“I told her to go play bingo with the rest of the granny crew, someone’s betting chicken feet,” he says. You smile wide when he trods over to you for a short kiss, slipping the strap of the basket off your shoulder to put on his. The hand he keeps low on your back is as warm as the ten AM sun. “Hi. I missed you.”

“I was just gonna go see if you were home,” you say. He smells like the wind. Something you’d scrunch your nose at but he makes it work. “When d’you come back? How’s Daeshim now?”

“An hour ago. And he’s better. He ate up all your ice cream, only thing he could keep down.”

You frown. “Poor baby.”

“I know. You gonna clean these now?” He nods his head toward the water basin, carved rock he’d installed for you on your third anniversary.

“Yeah. Can you start? I’ll just wash up quick,” you offer. Suddenly you’re aware you’ve got an ugly shirt with oil stains and holes in random places—nothing Taehyung minds, but the occasion probably deserves better.

“Got it, boss,” Taehyung says. He slaps your ass before you run to the bathroom. A familiar signal of his intentions but he’s too polite to bring it up so quickly.

“Hey!”

“Hurry up,” he calls. As if you’re going to take another five days to get back to him but you get it. You missed him, too; a little more than you’d like to let on. Your grandma is great company but she watches her TV too loud and she hates when you’re not there to sit with her because she might need your help switching channels. It’s a miracle you didn’t jump Taehyung the second your eyes landed on him.

You change into whatever shirt you’ve tossed on the floor that looks semi-presentable. It’s too early for your sweat to reek like it does under the afternoon heat, but you spritz some perfume on your neck anyway. Just for upkeep, because you’d be lying if you said you weren’t anticipating sex, a sloppy makeout session at the least. Danbi’s too hyper to be left alone, plus your grandma likes making surprise visits at your house because she’s a forgetful woman.

By the time you’ve come back from scrubbing the dirt and dead ant bits caked under your nails, Taehyung’s a third of the way through the basket, tossing the clean passion fruit into a bucket Danbi is trying so hard to climb into. She yelps when her fat paws slip at the edges.

“Danbi! Mama’s gonna be mad if you get hurt. I’ll give you some later.”

“Go play with your toy,” you call out to her. “Danbi! Go!”

Her ears perk up at your command, and she pants and pants till she decides to go in the complete opposite direction of the ball and into the patch where all the potatoes are. She hasn’t hit her teething phase so you’re safe from her snuffing anything out with her mouth. It’s her fur you worry about. She’s such a nice shade of white amongst the semi-wet dirt, it almost hurts seeing her get soiled.

“Like a little cotton ball,” Taehyung says. He points to the bucket. “This good?”

You nod—it’s enough to have extra for Auntie Gaeul. “Yeah. Wanna carry it to the kitchen like a good man?”

“As if I’m not one already,” he snorts, grabbing the handle. “Danbi, come!”

This is how it always goes. Taehyung ogles from over your shoulder (usually he’s off to the side but he’s a lot clingier, not that you mind) while you do your business because you don’t trust him with a knife. Not since the time you’d tasked him with chopping garlic and he’d nearly sliced his palm open when he tried crushing them first.

And now you’ve got a new addition to the routine: Danbi sniffs around the dried leaves for the fire, sneezing when she breathes the ash in too hard. You hear her collar jiggle as she explores the earthenware stacked on the side. You made sure Taehyung left the door open because she gets antsy fast.

“Can I just say that I have a thing for seeing you use a knife,” Taehyung says, hands stroking your tummy because he’s got nothing better to do.

“You’re really bad at hiding how turned on you are.”

“Who said I was trying to hide?”

You laugh. “What are you trying to get at, mister?”

“I’m saying I missed you,” he says simply.

“So that’s why you kicked Grandma out the house,” you tease. Taehyung splutters in your ear.

“No! They really are betting chicken feet. What do you think I am?”

“Horny.”

“Ugh.”

You turn your focus back to the chopping board. Taehyung lets the sound of the knife smooth down the goop of the insides fill the space.

“...Are you mad if I am?” He whispers tentatively.

“Oh my god. It’s ten in the morning.”

“You think my dick cares?”

“You think I care?” you joke.

Taehyung gasps. Like his heart just shattered from your vitriol, but all you want is to finish cutting up these damn fruits before you’ll allow his hands to touch you. “Wow. You—? Okay, fine.”

“Wha—”

“I appreciate your hard work,” he coos. He wraps himself around you even tighter, traces a slow kiss on your neck. “Really. But don’t pretend you didn’t miss me too.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You’ve got a fucking mouth on you.”

And that gets you to shut up. Taehyung only swears when he wants you to stop talking. Not for the sake of real anger but to show you he’s got something brewing, and you’re here to take whatever it is he’s about to give you.

“I just wanted to be a good fiance and visit the one I love the most after five days because I missed them so much.”

His teeth catch the lobe of your ear. Biting down softly because he’s still aware you’ve got the knife in your hand, but you’ve lost all motor skills the second he started his little bit. You drop the handle slowly. At the last second you push all the shit you’ve laid out on the counter to the farthest corner. Something tells you this space is being defiled this morning.

“Good. Are you wet?”

“N-No.”

“Then we’ll have to do something about that, huh.”

You watch his hands glide up, and you’re half-expecting him to fondle you gently, the way he teases you when you think he’s taking it slow. But instead he goes right for the kill: using those long fingers to pinch right at your tits just to get you to gasp into the feeling. You roll your eyes shut, let your head fall back on his shoulder.

“You like that?”

“Mhm,” you whine.

“Take your shirt off for me.”

You’ve never exposed yourself to kitchen utensils and rice wine on the pantry shelves before but Taehyung makes you want it. He shows his appreciation for your compliance with another hard grope of his hands, this time with his mouth sucking on your neck too. Craving your skin like he’s been absolutely deprived. The calluses on his fingertips rub your nipples raw.

“You smell good,” he croons. “Come here.”

You nearly tip over from how fast he spins you around, but he catches you easy, tongue on yours in the next second. The desperate tug of his lips on yours, the smack of your spit when he pulls you in deeper, all the intricacies of needing someone else to save your own sanity—it culminates here, and now your ass is up on the cold of the counter, Taehyung pulling back from one last kiss to drag that same heat down your body.

“Please let me eat you out here, holy shit.” He tugs at your pants, slides your underwear down with it. Mouthing hungry at your mound because you haven’t answered him yet, so you just groan a quick please, yes and he doesn’t even look at you before he presses his tongue inside you.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, the guilt of ruining this space with your (embarrassingly) uncontrolled libido is raging. But you could care less with the way Taehyung swipes his tongue around your clit, gets you clawing at his hair for brief respite. You’ve most definitely exceeded wet boundaries. His chin practically shines.

And he knows it’s because of him. Not just from his mouth but the knowledge that he wants you trembling towards a heady orgasm, the kind that consumes you whole. His laving gets bolder with every stroke, every moan you try to keep stifled but it’s useless. “Taehyung. Oh my g-od, fuck—no d-don’t use your fingers, I’ll come.”

He laughs, adjusts your thighs so you’re not cramping. “Think you’ll tap out?”

“I wanna come on your dick,” you pants.

“Oh my god,” he groans. “You’re perfect. Oh my god. I’m so fucking hard. Can I come inside you?”

“Yes yes yes yes, just get inside me already.”

Taehyung’s foot gets caught on his pants when he shoves them off, nearly crashing face first into your pussy again. And he laughs and you snort and when he’s naked waist-down he kisses you again, a little slower this time, a breather for just a moment.

“I know it’s only been five days but I missed you. A lot.”

You trap his hips with locked ankles on his back. “I know.”

“It’s just—I had to shovel so much horse shit—”

“Oh don’t say that!” You bat at his chest.

Taehyung snickers. “Sorry. Ahh, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“You can stick your dick inside me and we can go from there,” you suggest.

“I like the way you think, missus.”

It’s almost laughable when he sinks right in. No resistance, just the slick of your arousal and his spit, an unholy mixture for this thick sacrilege. Taehyung’s eyes stay locked on the sight.

“Fuck yeah. Oh baby…”

If it’s got him uttering curses this early in the round then you’re definitely worse off. You’ve got one profanity for every inch he’s claimed inside you, all lined up behind your teeth but you don’t have the brain capacity to get them out. He fucks you straight to incoherence.

Your delirium keeps you mum. Taehyung will make up for it. He slots his hand up the back of your thighs, hits deeper when you arch through the pleasure. “Holy fuck that’s so good,” you whine. “Taehyung—oh god.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just pants hard with every moan you’ll give him, and you watch the sweat glow on his collarbone, the thick of his neck. Places you claim with your mouth when you lean forward because it’s too hard to keep balance without his gravity.

Taehyung breaks when you bite. “Sh-it. Oh fuck you’re so hot. ‘M not gonna last, shit.”

“You’ll fuck me when you come?” you plead, hold his gaze. He’s just as gone as you are. “You’ll fuck your cum inside me?”

“Yeah baby. I’ll give it to you. So fuckin’ good.”

He never lets up. Just keeps that steady fucking, stiff with every drive into your slick till he adjusts your knees with one push. Pussy open to the angle that gets you begging for his thumb on your clit because it’s right there. You fall back on your hands, no steady grip because Taehyung’s faltering too.

“Oh—!” You flutter your eyes shut to pending ecstasy. “Tae—please—harder—right there right there don’t stop!”

“You gonna come for me?”

It’s a rhetorical question. You know he sees the way your chest collapses, the rub of your clit in quick gestures for your high. He’s got you right in his hand.

“Fuck—ohhh yes!”

“Ugh,” he whines. It’s nearly lost to the ringing in your ears, the clench of your pussy from his pounding. You cream him so good when the orgasm’s strong enough, pulsing hot, the rough intensity. And that’s not lost on him when he cries: “God your pussy’s so wet. Holy shit.”

Usually you’re spent by the time your vision’s cleared to the sight of Taehyung fucking you through it. But he’s promised you something, and you’re greedy for it.

“Come inside me,” you urge, guiding a hand through his hair, pulling hard at his nape. He keeps his eyes on his dick priming you for those final strokes.

“I’ll fucking come,” he snaps. “You ready? I’ll come so good for you baby. Come so fucking—good—!”

He stiffens with a shout, grinds his teeth, lets his orgasm splash inside with so much heat you mewl. And he keeps minimal movement, thrust for soft thrust because it’s too much with the squeezing you tease him with.

“I.” Taehyung clears his throat, panting to a stop. “I… wow.”

Your ass is rubbed raw against the counter. But you’ll risk it again to see the glint in his eye when he pulls out and watches his cum drip down your hole, onto the floor for you to clean when your legs aren’t jelly.

“Wow,” you repeat.

“Do… Am I… Am I ovulating?” He looks genuinely confused. “I don’t… I’ve never been that horny before.”

You snort. “Five days felt like forever, huh.”

Taehyung kisses you slow. “If it means we get to fuck like that again then I’m going to the city for a month.”

“Hey!” You pinch his arm, using his bicep to stand up, tiptoeing around the mess on the floor. “God. Help me clean up here, please. And where’s the dog?”

(Danbi sleeps peacefully in the wicker basket, head lolled on one of the passion fruits. You make sure to bring her over to Auntie Gaeul’s for extra snacks.)

[goldafterglow]

Head canon: MAKING JACK BLUSH. I NEED TO SEE IT. 🥺

Summary: Jack Daniels is a pretty cowboy.

Paring: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x reader

Word Count: 1.3k+

Warnings: soft!Jack, no sins but they are for sure basking in the post-sin afterglow, a lil bit of blushing for our baby boy, this is not beta read bc i’m impatient

Author’s Note: YESDJHGJFD I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF THIS. This is also my first little like drabble, except it’s too long but ig 1.3k is a drabble for me kids this is the standard.

It’s early in the morning. 1:43 am to be exact. But you can’t bring yourself to end the night; he always make it so hard to sleep. In a good way of course; a really good way.

It’s in the afterglow that his feelings begin to melt, glaciers in his mind turning to liquid as the golden amber spills gently from his lips and over your chest so that it will encapsulate you, dry around you and encase you, keeping his words wrapped around your body forever. Embroidered into the soft chenille of your neck and whispered into the lobes of your ears. He speaks to you in a way that you can feel; it’s a pleasure of its own to feel his lips kiss the dips of your clavicles through his words, his voice low and sending wide vibrations through your sternum. It feels sinful, heavenly, like something too good to be right.

It feels nice.

You’re laid by him on your side, face buried into his bare chest as his thick fingers run along the curve of your spine, re-exploring you with a sense of focused clarity that he doesn’t often get when he’s overwhelmed with lust and passion. His fingers are careful, sensitive, picking up on every bump and blemish until he can paint the perfect picture of you under his closed eyelids, even as the meek moonlight bathes your waist and glimmers against the sheets. Perfect.

He’s resolved to a comfortable state of wordlessness, eyes trained on the top of your head as you bask. There truly is something golden about the afterglow he casts onto you; you always seem to feel like you’re floating, like not even gravity could keep you from ascending to the clouds with him. He makes you feel precious.

With an inhale of his musk, you slowly nudge your chin so that you can look up at him, fingers tracing his jaw. You love to let him shower you in his affection like a delicate hummingbird is kissed by tiny drops of rain, but you rarely take the time to take him in. The bump of his nose is highlighted by the window’s rays, his lips still a little blushed and swollen from the night. The side of your palm runs up along the side of his face before finding his hair; it’s been mussed, disheveled by your greedy fingers. Gorgeous.

“What’s going on in that big beautiful mind of yours, angel?” Jack ponders, prodding you tenderly with his words. He can tell when you’re lost in thought, lost in him. Perhaps he can’t tell when you have no desire to be found, when you want to be left to traverse the tall grass of his forest and hug the applewood in his eyes. What a way to go.

“Nothing, Jack,” you assure. It’s a weak excuse, an almost embarrassing attempt at deflecting his question, but maybe it’s because you want him to ask you again, dig a little deeper into you so he can make a home inside you. Never leave.

“Now, darlin’,” he starts, feigning a little sternness in his tone, “I think you know good and well that ol’ Jack can tell when you’re fibbin’. Ain’t no use lyin’ to me, honey. I’ll catch ya every time.” Your heart swells swells a little at his words, because he’s so honest with you. You know he knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself. He’s made you his hobby, learning you like a subject and studying you like a book. He can always read you.

And yeah; he always catches you.

You take a few diamond-adorned seconds to look at him; his mustache rests right on top of his soft smile, there to accent his words and tickle your neck when he’s feeling playful. His eyes are wide like when a two-month old baby can finally look at its mother in awe, utterly mystified and doe-y. His face is sculpted by the gods, chiseled to magnificence in his charcoal features, and yet he uses it to show you he loves you. He loves you.

“You’re so pretty, Jack,” you whisper. The words barely leave your lips as a noise, traveling to his ears as wisps of the breeze you blow onto him.

Jack Daniels is floored.

It’s not a word he’d ever use to describe himself. Cocky, sure. Sexy, absolutely. Brash, confident, competent; he wasn’t too shy to toot his own horn every once in a while. But pretty? Flowers are pretty; butterflies are pretty. When the sleepy sun yawns and breathes a peach glow onto the front-porch flower bed, that’s pretty. When you step outside to dip yourself in the golden afterglow and he walks out into the backyard to find you sitting on the quaint bench he built just for you. When he drags himself into the kitchen in the morning to find you already there, frying up bacon on his stove in nothing but his unbuttoned flannel and last night’s bra; that is fucking pretty.

But Jack Daniels -- is he pretty? He looks down at you carefully. He can tell when you’re fibbin’, after all. 

You don’t look like a dishonest woman to him.

“You’ve already got me in bed with you,” he teases, trying to deflect. He can’t handle the weight of your words, isn’t strong enough to hide what they do to him, and he needs you to take them back before he bursts into a supernova of rouge love. “You don’t need to-”

“I mean it, baby,” you interrupt, tone serious. You can tell he doesn’t want to believe you, doesn’t want to grapple with the intensity of your thoughts. But he needs to know, he has to trust you’re not deceiving him. “You’re beautiful.”

His smirk is gone, his smug, self-assured grin nowhere to be seen. The room is dark; he knows that. But the moonlight hits him just right, at just the right angle that you can see that sweet strawberry syrup tint his cheeks, giving him up. You can’t help but smile a little, like you’ve done something good. He’s good.

Jack’s breathing is a little jagged, his heartbeats a little stuttered. What was it he’d done to deserve you again? Oh right; nothing.

Your hand leaves his hand to cup his red cheek, thumb running right under his big eyes. He leans into it, face turning a little to nuzzle your palm, and the notion makes you giggle. A fierce lion reduced to a whimsical lamb, so gentle under your touch. He is vulnerable when he is with you, especially in these shared moments of solitude, and you wonder if you could look at him like this forever.

Blushing.

“C’mere, pretty boy,” you tease, but you mean it. You mean every word.

You nudge him towards you, his face finding solace in your chest. He shifts down a little, his soft body wrapping around your middle. He can hide in you, feel pretty in your arms. He’s safe in you.

“You think I’m pretty, sugar?” he asks softly. Almost a little timid. He’s embarrassed to need validation like this, ashamed that he’s practically begging you to say those words again, but you make him feel so warm, so secure, and he knows that the last person to leave him for a lapse in strength is you.

You press a kiss to the top of his scalp, his wild hair tickling your nose but you don’t care; you want him close. Closer.

“I know it,” you whisper, throat closing on itself a little because you’re so grateful that you finally get to tell him. That Jack can finally begin to grasp just how much he means to you. There’s so much more you want to say, but you don’t want to overwhelm him with it because you know he loves you with a fury and passion that drowns him without you piling on your love too.

And as Jack closes his eyes, finally ready to let the night end, he thinks he might know it too.

Tags (ik this is a drabble but idk lmao):  @gustavos @catfishingmorales @keeper0fthestars @1zashreena1 @blancatobarxoxo @honeyedspace @chaotic-noceur @opheliaelysia @adikaofmandalore @din-damn-djarin @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @buckstaposition @the-feckless-wonder @ergotautology (girl you know what to do) 

also im gonna never tag anyone in my headcanons again bc that was embarrassing yikes gjfhdjgd

[commander-sarahs-art]

~Update!~

You may have noticed by now that my normal commissions have been and will continue to be on a lengthy hiatus! So I would like to give an update for ya’ll on that!

I will be completely up front and honest. I've been struggling a lot mentally because of all of these health issues that keep piling up on me lately. My narcolepsy diagnosis, my still yet to be resolved breathing issues, and many sleepless nights have just compounded the problem, and getting used to so many new medicines to try and fix said problems are quite frankly kicking my ass to hell and back.

So, for now, I would really like to focus on my pin design commissions and the occasional commissions for my friends. They are a lot less pressure on me, as I am able to take longer on them and I can build up a lot of designs for the makers in advance so I will be able to have a backlog for them to go through and I can open my normal commissions again once I feel ready, and not have to try and balance both pin and normal commissions at the same time.

As much as I love and treasure getting to do my normal range of commissions and drawing so many beautiful, amazing, characters for you all. It's just too much for me to think about right now. Pins are very near and dear to my heart and have been a great passion of mine for awhile. Other than Lacy and my cats, working with Liminal Pins has been pretty much the only thing keeping me from losing what's left of my sanity.

 I want you all to know how sorry I am that I haven't reopened like I said I would, and as much as I would love to do it, it's just not in the cards for me right now, because with the state I am in currently I cannot guarantee the timeliness or quality of commissions. I will continue to post art I manage to do in my free time and the pin designs that I do when I'm allowed to reveal them! ;3 But for now my commissions will remain closed, and I hope that when I return to them, I will return better than I was before and ready to draw even more wonderful things for you all! Plus, I think I would like to revamp my online persona a little bit, I’ve had the same Icon for years and should probably make a cohesive banner across all social medias you know? So that’s something to look forward to ;3

Thank you all so much for sticking with me and bearing with me through my very sporadic posting, and my constantly varying fandom moods (though w that remaster coming my mass effect mood will probably return and I will become the mass effect blog I once was again lol) and for staying with me through all of it, It really means more to me than I have the words for!~  

-Commander Sarah

Ps: I am much more active on Twitter so if you have one and would like to interact with me more! follow me there! Its @Cmdr_Sarah (Currently my account is private bc of all the fun stuff going around twitter but just send a follow request! ;3 )

[kinkymagnus]

five times alec and magnus tried something kinky (and one time they didn't)

ohhhh i like this >:) 

not sure this is a fic prompt or what, so i’m just gonna go with a sorta half fic post. if this were an actual fic i think it’d be half filthy smut and half crack depending on the entry. and then fluffy smut at the end ofc. actually, i’m going to try and make it a different flavor each time to see what happens. challenge myself. 

1. first time with bondage. alec ties magnus up and ravishes him. fun is had all around. this is the sexytimes one but there’s a hint of like.... Romance(TM) bc bondage is all about that trust and intimacy, and like, alec is amazed magnus trusts him this much, with magic-suppressing (not cutting him off or anything, and there’s still a safety protocol to get out without alec’s help, but still) ties or whatever, that magnus is letting alec see him so vulnerable, letting alec take care of him.... uwu 

2. they try like, roleplay and dressing up for the first time, but shenanigans are had and they both get way too into character. like maybe maid magnus is like *dodging alec trying to cop a feel* “wait let me dust this annoying top shelf i have the duster out and i keep FORGETTING” “babe you could just use magic if you w--” “i have the duster right here!!!” or like they’re doing the whole rival mob bosses thing but they keep doing banter and improving ridiculous businesses the other is infringing on/wants to get involved in (”you wanna get in on the... raccoon smuggling ring?” *muffling laughter* “....yes. love those....trash bandits”) and it’s a little silly but in the most fun and ridiculous way. 

alternatively, they keep trying to be serious but bursting into giggles and/or just generally being way more lovey dovey than the scene calls for. like, alec is supposed to be his strict boss “punishing” him but he keeps kissing magnus really tenderly and calling him my love. magnus is not helping. 

3. angst angst angst. or, more accurately, hurt/comfort. something goes wrong when trying out a new kink, magnus ends up not having a fun time, maybe he has to safeword or literally just something goes wrong (like the safety thing on his cuffs fails and he panics and obviously alec immediately lets him out but still Bad) and alec probably feels bad about it/blames himself and it’s bad times. but whatever happens they end up relocating to the couch and just like. cuddling with ice cream or some other treat, maybe watching a movie that they inevitably ignore to cuddle and probably talk about it and by the end of the night they’re as strong as ever and all comfy snuggled with each other, issue resolved, both parties thoroughly comforted 

or even if you wanna go less angsty they both just sort of. realize they’re not really into this kink halfway through and it’s like . “...should we stop?” and they end up stopping but they’re both just lying there like “hm. that was weird” and it’s a little awkward and they both are kinda like. hm. was that my fault? should i have just kept going? it’s not like i HATED it, but.... so it’s kinda this weird guilt thing, like, oh... i ruined our night.... but then they talk or just generally realize how kinda silly the whole situation is and end up just like. laughing together and they kiss and are like ok we can take that one off the list i guess lmao and that’s the end of that. communication kings

4. im running out of “genres” as im saving the designated fluff one for the end, and the ones i can think of (parody, salt, tragedy, friendship, or like. what, mystery? sci fi?) don’t necessarily work. well i suppose you could do friends, like i mean, they are best friends, which is why they’re such good husbands, maybe they’re like. mutually geeking out about something and end up incorporating it into a needlessly convoluted kink thing?? or like. fuck ok i give up on the genres thing, the last two are just going to be like the others

hm, maybe they try something really weird/embarrassing, and either like. they try it as like, kinda half as a joke, but then they’re both really into it and after are like “well. that happened” “.....” “......” “.....” “.....wanna do it again?” “hell yes” 

or like, they’re doing it because they’re interested and  you know, neither of them are judgmental, so that’s fine, but then like. it’s just that like kinda self conscious awkwardness at first? but they’re so comfy with each other it doesnt take long to get the hang of it and they end up having a lot of fun. 

5. i dont know why so many of these are “and something went wrong” i guess bc in post form im not writing out the full porn so much as fun concepts? i dont know. anyway, they decide to have fun with aphrodisiacs/an artificial heat, but accidentally overdo it a bit and end up fucking for like a day straight with very few breaks. well, not straight but--[i am booed off the stage] 

anyway it was very enjoyable but not fun to explain later. 

bonus 6: first sex tape! they knocked the camera over in the first five minutes without noticing. it was impressively long but caught nothing but muffled dirty talk and desperate moans 

+1 

look. kinky sex can be so intimate and fun and sweet, and the idea that vanilla sex is somehow better/purer/more intimate/more loving is silly. 

but there is something to be said about after like, nights and nights of alec tying magnus up or spanking him or magnus riding him while a camera watches or whatever, alec just. laying him down on the bed and kissing him gently and making sweet, sweet love to him, and despite the fact he’s not edging magnus to oblivion or tying up to see how he squirms or teasing him for being a slut or anything... it’s still overwhelmingly good, and soft and warm and loving, and alec can make him cum just as powerfully on nothing but his fingers while whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he can with a toy in his ass and a cock in his cunt while gagged and trying to beg for mercy. 

its also cute when its like their wedding night 🥺 super soft just like Lovemaking(TM) like just. kisses all over, soft praise, both of them touching each other everywhere and trading kisses and wanting to feel every moment....

and then the honeymoon is just 24/7 filthy hot kink hours and its just as intimate and loving and passionate 

[aalissy]

Forbidden Love

Day 2 is doneee!! And it’s all about post-relationship, pre-reveal haha!! I hope you enjoy this chapter bc it does contain Ladrien kisses <3. Forbidden love suits these two sooo wellll <3. Ladrien angst is my fave so lemme know what you think :)

AO3

“We can’t keep doing this,” Ladybug murmured even as her fingers tangled in Adrien’s hair, pulling him to her in another sweet, passionate kiss.

“I know,” he spoke breathily after pulling away for a few, deep breaths of air.

She nibbled on her bottom lip as she peered up at him from beneath her lashes. His chest was heaving with every bit of air he sucked in. His clothes were ruffled and his emerald green eyes had darkened considerably as he stared at her almost desperately. His lips were swollen with her kisses and when his tongue slowly peeked out to wet them, Ladybug groaned before capturing him in another kiss.

She really shouldn’t keep doing this. If Hawkmoth ever found out that she was engaged in a relationship with a civilian he could hurt Adrien and everyone he loved. She just couldn’t let that happen. But it wasn’t fair! She and Adrien were in love! Why should she have to give that all up in favor of an evil supervillain?

With a small sigh, Ladybug pulled away from him and his tempting lips once again. His eyes had fluttered closed during their makeout session but they slowly opened again as he met her gaze. She felt her heart thump wildly in her chest as her whole body ached to connect their lips once again. Forcing herself to fight the temptation, she clenched her fists tightly on his white couch.

“I-I’m sorry,” Adrien stuttered out in a quiet murmur, glancing away from her as he scratched the back of his neck. “That was my fault.”

Ladybug chuckled bitterly, shaking her head as she gave him a sad look. “No, Adrien. That was all me. I should be the one apologizing. You’re just so tempting.”

He turned back to stare at her with a pair of wide, surprised eyes. This time, she whipped her head away as he gave her an eager smile. Shutting her eyes tight, she refused to look at him this time. He always looked so cute, boyish, and eager that it pained her not to pull him into another kiss. She needed to resist! She couldn’t risk Adrien getting hurt. He was too important to her.

“Wait, but if you like kissing me and I like kissing you... what’s the problem?” Adrien asked earnestly. Ladybug was certain that if she connected their gazes again, his eyes would be sparkling. How could one boy be so cute?  

Heaving another quiet sigh, she steeled herself before opening her eyes. Her resolve weakened slightly as she saw his adorable smile. Feeling slightly weak and jittery, she shook her head slowly, sucking in a deep breath. “Because I can’t keep doing this, Adrien. I could be putting you in danger. What if Hawkmoth finds out? You could be his next target and I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt.”

He placed his hand over hers, squeezing it gently and Ladybug blinked down at it in shock. A smile was clear in his voice as he spoke to her next, “But what if Hawkmoth never finds out? What if we can just keep it a secret from everyone?”

Ladybug scoffed lightly, shaking her head. “When has that ever worked, Adrien? I practically sneak into your bedroom every night. What happens if Nathalie or even worse your father barges in one day? Don’t you think it’d be a little odd if they saw you kissing the superhero of Paris?”

Adrien’s cheeks turned pink as he ducked his head down even as a small grin appeared on his lips. Realizing her own words, Ladybug flushed as well, wondering when and how she had gotten so brave with him? It was probably because of all the kissing they had been doing lately. It was sort of hard to stutter and stammer when she knew his lips almost as well as her own.

“Okay,” he finally nodded his head, seemingly making up his own mind. “What if we didn’t stay here, then? What if you come pick me up and then take me somewhere else?”

Adrien gestured out his window and she blinked a pair of startled blue eyes at him. God, was she tempted to take him up on his offer. Thoughts and images swirled around her head with the idea. Fantasies of yanking Adrien away and spending hours up on the top of the Eiffel Tower just talking with him filled her mind. Of course, they would share a few kisses which would just make everything even more perfect.

With a small whimper, Ladybug shook her head firmly once again. Forcing herself to stand up, she clenched onto her yo-yo tightly. “We can’t, Adrien, I’m so sorry. What if someone catches us and rumors start spreading? It’s just too risky. I never should have started this. It’s my fault.”

“Hey,” Adrien spoke decisively, pushing himself up as well as he held onto her hands once again. He forced her gaze back up to him as he said, “This is just as much my fault. We started this together, LB, and we both knew what we were doing. I wanted this just as much as you did.”

Ladybug gaped over at him, her eyes softer than they had ever been before. He was so perfect. How did he know just what to say to make her feel better? Smiling gently, she couldn’t stop herself from whispering, “Find me.”

“W-what?” Adrien blinked at her in confusion, his head tilting to one side adorably.

“Find me,” she said again, more determinedly this time. “If you can find me as a civilian... without all the danger and worries... then we can be together. For real.”

She must be going crazy. For one, there was no way Adrien would ever be able to figure out who she was. And, also, she never should have asked him to do this. It could be just as dangerous.

She was about to open her mouth to backtrack when Adrien cut her off, “B-but what if I find someone who isn’t you?”

Ladybug relaxed slightly even as her heart twisted at the idea of Adrien falling in love with anyone but her. Still, if it was left up to him and he did find someone else, perhaps she should just let them stay together. It would be easier than convincing herself to stay away from him completely. Slowly nodding her head, she squeezed his hand back this time. “That’s up to you, Adrien. I won’t tell you if you get it wrong or right. That could just put us in even more danger.”

“Can you at least give me a hint?” He searched her eyes rather desperately.

Humming lightly, she removed one of her hands to tap her chin thoughtfully. Deciding on something that wouldn’t give her away too badly, she eventually murmured, “I’m closer than you think.”

Quickly, Ladybug brushed one last kiss against his cheek before bolting away, yo-yo spinning in her hand. Her flaming cheeks were cooled by the night wind as she weighed whether or not she wanted Adrien to figure out who she was or not. She let herself swing back home, deciding that it was time to let fate take the wheel.

[artsoupsoupart]

911 Smut Week: Turn Blue

Day 2: Day Two: Handcuffs, sex toys, anything you want to incorporate into a pwp and/or have a plot too.

A/N: I’d like to apologize bc these prompts are gonna be SO late lol. But I’m committed to finishing these and Madney Week lol 

Read on Ao3 

Maddie Buckley is a goddamn tease. It’s a fact that Chimney has developed a love for over the past few months as they’ve grown closer as a couple. Sure, she’s boosted his ego many times by letting him know he’s better at it than she is. And he is. But still, Maddie is learning and exploring, and she has her talents. She’s sneaky and calculative, striking as though she’s a lioness and he’s her unsuspecting prey. Maddie doesn’t have to necessarily do or say anything to get the man riled up. She’s a woman of few words but the look in her eyes and the sway of her hips always tells him exactly what he needs to know about the game she’s formulated in her mind.

Maddie has been tempting him for the past seventy-two hours. Her kisses before either of them leaves for work are slow, deep, filled with a heated passion that makes him want to call out sick and focus on only her and her body and her pleasure. Her touch lingers against his hips and waist and biceps. She has pressed against his chest more than once, sometimes braless so her pebbled nipples can be felt through their clothes. At the karaoke bar the night before, Maddie had let her hand, which had been not so innocently on his thigh the entire night, trail up towards his crotch, a perfectly painted nail tracing over the zipper as he hardens under her touch with their friends and coworkers singing and drinking away, little words being whispered into his neck that send a shudder through him and his ears blaze red. It took everything in him to not drag her to the restroom and show her exactly what she does to him. And still, she did not give him the release he so desperately needed last night.  Maddie Buckley is a goddamn tease, and she sports this devilish smile with confidence because she knows the affect she has on him.

When they’re finally free from the constraints of work and siblings and friends and have the opportunity to simply indulge in one another, her torture (because that’s exactly what this is no matter how much he enjoys it) begins with Chimney stripped bare and put on display for her on the couch like a five-star meal or perhaps precious jewels. She truly has Chimney practically drooling at the sight in front of him: tanned skin beneath simple but lacey black underwear, her curled hair long and flowing along her shoulders. The heels. That’s what really has Chimney’s breath stuttering. The heels she has on are tall and a deep blood red. He has half a mind to blurt out that she could do absolutely anything to him as long as the heels stay on. But this isn’t his game, it’s hers and she’ll refrain from giving him what he needs if he oversteps.

She takes a few steps forward and leans down close to him, a millimeter away and he can feel the heat radiating from her entire body. Or perhaps it’s his. Maybe both. Both is good. His eyes drop to her cleavage and his eyes glaze over in lust as her lips press to his in a bruising kiss. Chimney reaches up to place his hands on her waist, her hips, her breasts, anywhere he can reach but they’re instantly slapped away. She clicks her tongue as if scolding him, her lips trailing along his jaw to his ear which she takes between her teeth before she whispers in his ear, “No. Touching.”

The order is more for her own good than his because as soon as his hands get to explore familiar paths, she loses her resolve and lets him have his way with her. She doesn’t want that though he’s sure she would have no problem prolonging his torture for another day.

When his hands move back to the couch, he wants to curse because there’s nothing to hold on to as Maddie says, “good boy”, and her lips begin their descent down the column of his neck. She stops at his Adam’s apple for a moment, nipping and chuckling as it bobs up and down when he thickly swallows. He’s cute like this, needy like she normally is and as ready as ever. It’s been a fun few days of seduction, of mentally edging him until she could do so physically. Her tongue swirls around his surprisingly sensitive nipples, enjoying the way he squirms beneath her lips before she trails down washboard abs. Maddie sits on a fluffy pillow on the floor between his legs, eye level with his erection. He’s sure he sees absolute lust on her face and something else that is commanding and dominant and, God, he wants her to get it over with so he can bury himself within her. Long nails scratch at thighs that tense under their pressure. His hands clench into fists and for a moment Chimney wonders if he can keep his arousal at bay.

“I want you to last as long as you can, Chim. Can you do that for me?”  

She says it so innocently yet so… sensually and his mind briefly fogs as his imagination runs. He doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to stave off his orgasm because he needs her more than he thinks he’s ever needed anyone before. But he will. He will because it’ll be worth it in the end. Chimney nods, swallowing again, his mouth dry with want.

“Use your words,” she scolds as her head tilts, and she raises a brow.

He has to tell himself to play her game, to be compliant, maybe a bit subservient because it’ll be worth it. What’s to come (and his revenge) will be absolutely glorious. “I can do anything for you.”

That’s exactly what she likes to hear. She leans her head against his thigh, her nose just shy of pressing against his erection. The amount of blood rushing to his dick truly has him a bit lightheaded. Maddie isn’t sure if he’s been this aroused by her before, but she makes a mental note to tease him more often if this is the response she’ll receive. Pearly teeth dip into her lip as the pad of her finger runs over a thick, throbbing vein. This beautiful cock that is hers to please and use twitches beneath her touch. Maddie internally swells with power. She breathes him in, the scent heady, musky, and masculine, so uniquely Chimney that it makes her mouth water.

For what seems like forever, she simply touches him. Her fingers are featherlight. The point of her nose joins her fingers every now and then and that’s something he never knew would make the fire in his gut blaze so bright. She avoids the tip, the most sensitive part of him besides his heart, though it’s been dripping precum for almost as long as she’s been touching him. The thick drops trail down his shaft aiding in the sensations of lithe digits that have barely touched him. He can do this, it’s not that bad. That’s the lie he tells himself. It’s hell because he wants her to fully use her hands or her mouth or anything and relieve him of the pressure that is teasingly building.

When her tongue pokes out for the first time to run against the vein, from base to just before his bulbous mushroom head, all the air is knocked out of Chimney’s lungs. He has half a mind to beg, but he knows it won’t work. Maddie is stubborn, if him begging would have worked, he would have been deep within her days ago. Still avoiding his tip, she flattens her tongue against his shaft. It’s not much for sensations, but the visual of her licking him like the best ice cream cone is enough for his heart to beat a little faster in anticipation.

After a few more minutes, Maddie catches his gaze, grinning at the stress of his brow and the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “Too much?” she asks.

Chimney stares back at her, shakes his head before audibly saying no. His girlfriend pats his leg before leaning away to shuffle through the bin under the coffee table, the bin that’s mostly used for random magazines that arrive in the mail and the remote. His darkened eyes land on the bottle of lubricant, one of many in their collection that she must have placed there earlier. Chimney lets out a strained groan which gets a laugh out of his girlfriend. Their collection of flavored lube is growing, and it seems Maddie has chosen chocolate cherry, one of her favorites. The liquid, though cold, drips onto his throbbing tip and Chimney lets out the most delicious groan. Maddie almost takes pity on him. Almost.

Her hand, covered in a bit of lube as well, wraps around the base of his erection and she begins stroking in long passes. Her eyes barely leave her handiwork, watching as he glistens. Maddie adjusts, moving to kneel on the pillow instead of sit, watching as he still drips for her. Ever the tease, she presses a kiss to a gooey droplet on the very tip, the taste of him and the lubricant deliciously mingling. Chimney’s entire body shudders and he lets out a groan when she licks at his head. With this reaction, Maddie herself can’t do much more teasing. She wraps her lips around his head, sucking and sucking in time with the stroke of her hand. She keeps this up before opening her mouth to him, drawing him in as deep as she can. Brown eyes that she loves so much roll back as he tenses and tries to relax in her mouth and Maddie attempts to stifle a laugh. The vibrations shoot through him, and his hands squeeze at the couch cushions. It would be so easy to chase the sensations that the warmth of her mouth brings. It would be so easy to let himself tense and tense and tense until he explodes in the back of her throat. There wouldn’t be anything she could do about it if he does, though he’s sure she’d disapprove and who knows what punishment that would bring him. Instead, Chimney attempts to think about anything other than the way her tongue swirls around the head of his dick. Anything other than the feeling of him being drawn down her warm throat as far as she can take it.

It takes everything in Chimney to stop her when he feels his orgasm truly begin to build. He can’t take more, he thinks. He wants to be inside of her when he releases for her. He’s been flirting with the brink of release for at least two hours when she twirls the silicone ring around her finger just in his line of view. Chimney groans and that devilish smile of hers returns. Chimney has no problem with getting hard, staying hard, or stamina. But the couple of rings they bought really add to their pleasure, allowing Chimney to draw out more of Maddie’s beautiful orgasms. Their eyes meet as her underwear falls to the floor. It takes just a second and she slips the ring around the base of his cock, her desire growing just as his erection does right before her eyes.

“Feel alright?” she asks, not wanting him to be uncomfortable in the slightest.

He nods, clears his throat before choking out a yes as the ring squeezes against his base. It feels good, but it feels even better when Maddie straddles his lap and sinks down on him, grateful they read the ingredients to the lube before purchasing and delighted at the way his face contorts and his breath catches in his throat. She takes him, inch by inch. Chimney isn’t necessarily long, probably somewhere slightly above average in length but girthier than most. The ring emphasizes his width, has her pressing her mouth to his to stifle the guttural moan the leaves her throat as she adjusts. There’s nothing for him to grab and Maddie hasn’t told him he can touch yet, so he chooses to stuff his hands between the cushions to counteract the way her walls clench around him.

Maddie focuses on herself for the most part, rocking her hips in a way that feels good, but it doesn’t stop Chimney’s own pleasure from building on its own accord. Chimney’s head falls back to the couch, and he simply watches her, watches her erotic scene of him disappearing and reappearing between them. He wants to touch her. He needs to touch her or do something with his hands beside clutch onto plush cushions. She’s sexy, exceedingly sexy with her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side. Her tongue pokes out to lick her lips.  When her eyes open, his girlfriend, his beautiful, talented, wonderfully evil girlfriend adjusts once more, one foot propping up for leverage. The change in angle is just what she needs if the rapid sounds of her moans are any sign, and it allows for him to press in just the perfect spot to draw out every single ounce of pleasure he can.

It’s when his hands move to the back of the couch to ground himself in reality that she takes them and moves one to her still covered breast and the other to her ass, giving him permission. It’s as though Chimney comes alive at being able to touch her. His own talented fingers draw the cup of her bra down, teeth nipping at the skin of her breast before he pulls her nipple into his mouth until it’s erect. She clenches around him with every suck of his mouth. His other hand kneads and palms at her ass and it’s as though he hasn’t touched her in years. They find their rhythm easily, slow at first because Maddie isn’t quite done teasing yet. She can’t last long. She’s been dripping wet for as long as he has and the way he reacts to her, the way he wants so desperately to please her has that metaphorical rubber band close to its snapping point. Maddie watches as he goes doe-eyed for her, and she knows he’s close.

“Is that all you can take, baby?” her hips don’t stop their movement as she asks him, and he nods. She tuts again, her hips rocking in time with her own command. “Use. Your. Words.”

“Yes, Maddie. Fuck, Maddie it’s all… I can’t…” His hands dig into her waist, hard enough to bruise as their pace increases, but she welcomes the minute pain as she climbs the ladder of her own desire once more.

Ever the pleaser, Chimney grunts through his own arousal. He removes one hand from her waist to find her clit, stimulating her both inside and out until she’s panting and letting expletives of her own fall from plumped lips. His thrusting hips match his circling fingers and she’s so close, her toes curl in excitement.

“Howie,” she draws out his name as she begins to pulse around him in her own release.

Maddie leans forward, wraps her arms around his neck and presses her lips to his ear and tells him to make her come, to come inside of her while he does it, as deep as he can, as much as he can. Her words are a catalyst to his orgasm, sending him over the edge he’s been on for hours. Hearing him cum for her is the most satisfying sound. Feeling him thrust into her until he’s done is just as spectacular. Maddie could get drunk off the way her name sounds as it’s stretched through moan after moan of his pleasure.

When their hips slow and they catch their breath, Maddie presses her lips to his. He’s a vision as his eyes droop. He’s exhausted in the cutest way. She slips from him, slips the ring from around his dick. They’ll need to clean themselves and the toy up before getting into bed. With one hand, Maddie pulls a still dazed Chimney from the couch and all but drags him to the bathroom for a nice, soothing bath, both of their legs jelly and their lust for one another satisfied. For now.

[fanmoose12]

I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 

[bbugyu]

:o i dont really know much about mbti types but u seem really knowlegable >.< what about dk's mbti??

oh my god the way i got a boner from being called knowledgeable OK LETS GO I LOVE SEOKMIN SO MUCH

seokmin is an infp, which is the mediator. i actually float between this personality type and infj (the advocate, which is also what wonwoo jihoon and minghao are), so seokmin and i are very similar in a lot of ways - our differences come from our zodiac signs i think ㅠㅠ; infps are actually really rare! yet seventeen has four KDJFSK they value harmony and authenticity and they always have the best intentions - which!!! IS SO SEOKMIN!!!! he will always see the best in people and always act with the best intentions! he is kind to a fault! what a sweet baby.

ok, here’s the breakdown. under the cut. tw seokmin best boy

seokmin is so shy. he doesn’t seem it, because when he’s with svt he goes BUCK FUCKING WILD but in reality he clams up around people he’s not super comfortable around. example: that one picture of him standing with yuju from gfriend where he looks like he’s gonna shit himself kJHFJS or when he was filming his solo parts for the mama performance and he kept saying how nervous he was without the members. he’s super reserved around people he hasn’t known for forever. he even tends to be quiet on variety shows, only really doing his fun comedy bits and talking when other members prompt him (which is almost always jeonghan or seungkwan don’t get me started). infjs (like isfjs) tend to keep a very small group of friends that they are very open and seemingly extroverted with, which is why we get to see seokmin’s genuine personality a lot. he is so fully himself when he is with seventeen and i think that is so beautiful. that being said, infps also are the most social introverts. he makes friends everywhere, and genuinely cares about all of them. his excallibur castmates have said that he was such a bright loving personality on stage and behind the scenes, and he would always visit and support them even after they stopped working together! he went to plays they starred in and posted pictures with them, telling carats to go support them too. you can tell they really appreciated this, because they would return the favor and go to seventeen concerts to cheer him on!

seokmin’s intuition is no joke. he seems a little naive at times, but he is also extremely good at looking at the big picture of a situation and deciding what needs to be done, ie. when they were leaving the venue during ttt he was seemingly the only one that remembered they left a giant mess in the kitchen. that being said, infps skip over details a lot. he also is SO FUNNY like he is genuinely the FUNNIEST MEMBER in my opinion because he just understands every situation so clearly. he’s able to take something a little mundane or whatever and comment on it or react in a way that’s REALLY FUNNY like when they were driving home from ttt and mingyu said he could buy the walnut sweets JFDSKJDSF mingyu wasn’t expecting him to say yes bc they’re such a common treat and seokmin laughed at first but hten immeidately was like “oh actually yes order them” and gyu was like ??? but seokmin kept just saying “stop talking to me order the walnut sweets pls” GODD THEY’RE SO FUNNY i literally cry laugh at shit seokmin does like i don’t know how he does it he’s the funniest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

he seems like the most understanding member of svt to me. the others are too, ofc, but seokmin’s on another level. infps also feel very deeply and genuinely. as an intuitive personality type, he is immensely empathetic, but not in the same way that jeonghan is. seokmin feels other peoples’ emotions like they’re his own. he sympathizes fully and completely, and i think he tries really hard to internalize that as to not seem so emotional all the time, but as soon as the facade cracks he starts cRYINGGG like he’s a BABY he can’t help it he just FEELS SO MUCHhhh. idk if anyone else notices this but he always repeats what is being said? i find this to be related because he is actively listening, and his way of showing is affirming with short responses every few sentences. he seems like such a good person to go to when you’re struggling and want someone to comiserate with. seungkwan is someone you go to when you need advice, but seokmin is the one you go to when you want to vent, because he’ll immediately match how you’re feeling about the situation and empathize with you.

i think seokmin also tends to take things personally? i think he’s gotten better about this in recent years and instead uses it as a joke, but you can tell it still bothers him sometimes ㅠㅠ like, okay, so seokmin posted that picture for seungkwan’s birthday and said something along the lines of “do you remember when we went out to have fun and fought? sorry i couldn’t be better” etc so in boo’s birthday live he explained the situation because it was resolved nicely. he said that the two of them went kayaking with jeonghan (which, btw, booseokhan are literally married and i am the most spoiled carat ever) and got in a little disagreement about something menial, and seungkwan thought it was resolved quickly, but afterwards jeonghan was driving them and seokmin put on a song and boo was like “oh what kind of song is this?” as a joke, but seokmin took it personally and got sulky. but then him and jeonghan danced to anysong and honestly who can blame them. it seems like every time he gets in a fight with other members, he thinks about how he doesn’t want it to tear them apart, so no matter how mad he is, he tries to find a way to resolve it. like with the gray bag incident JDHFKJHF he said that he thought if he didn’t pick up the bag, mingyu might hit him. he was mad and thought he was in the right, but he didn’t want the argument to escalate, so he did something he didn’t want to end it where it was. also, when jeonghan went live during seokmin’s live, saying “those who want to watch dokyeom watch him, those who want to watch this watch this,” and seokmin got all sulky about carats saying they wanted to see what jeonghan was up to. he laughed and said he was kidding, but then he was like “i’m not fun anyways.” whiCH leads us to...

infps have chronic inferiority complexes, but they aren’t envious people, so it manifests in just being immensely self critical. seokmin genuinely believes he isn’t handsome. or a good singer. like. what the fuck is that all about. i get genuinely angry when i think about this. i could talk about how fucking WRONG he is but this is just supposed to be a personality analysis so i’ll just mention that i talked about why i think he’s the perfect man alive in another ask! check that out if you want JKFHKSDF he always has negative things to say about himself but only positives to say about others. which makes me wanna fight. he also is maybe too idealistic??? like i said before, he will always see the best in other people, and it leads the rest of the members to genuinely worry about him. they’re worried that if they’re not there to take care of him, he’ll end up getting taken advantage of by someone. they don’t want him to get scammed ㅠㅠ

some other aspects of infp personalities that i think suit seokmin well but i’m literally braindead and cannot write more of this: open minded, passionate, determined, and loyal.

i would marry seokmin in an instant.

[kurosarium]

𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

A/N: Finally back with some content yaaay! It’s 8am and I have yet to go to bed...but I could go on and on about atsumu, he’s such an interesting character.

This was a request, but I accidentally deleted it, so I’m posting it separately. 🥺

Feedback is appreciated!

His communication skills suck at the beginning of the relationship. I mean, he does like communicating his feeling to other people, but most of the time he’s just talking out of his ass with little to no consideration for the other person’s feelings. It takes him seeking out Alan and/or Kita for relationship advice to realize that behaving like a pubescent fuck-boy won’t get him anywhere in a serious relationship. I say this with young adult Atsumu in my mind, shortly after graduating, at the beginning of his pro career etc.

Because it’s a bit different for adult Atsumu. Adultsumu is aware of everything I mentioned in the bullet point above, he’s still a fool, but more considerate of other’s feelings. Still can’t communicate with his partner properly, because he knows his words are sometimes too blunt, he knows that if he’s being too blunt and his words come out sounding mean he could seriously hurt your feelings.

Atsumu usually isn’t a very forgetful person, but when he’s super busy or has a lot on his mind that can change. He absolutely forgot about the date you two had planned, or the thing you asked him to get on his way home. He always feels extremely bad once he remembers or is being reminded, and tries his best to make it up to you.

You could probably ask for anything, he’d do everything to make up for being neglectful. He knows he can be an ignorant idiot from time to time, that why he tries extra hard to make up for a forgotten date or anniversary. He would never tell you, but he’s actually afraid of losing you over something like that, because he knows that volleyball takes up the biggest part of his life, but he still tries very much to be a good boyfriend and not neglect you.

He doesn’t expect you to, but he’d be super happy, if he found you awake and waiting for him, on days he would come home late. If you weren’t too tired you’d sit down in the kitchen together, talking about how your day went while he warms up leftover food in the microwave or makes some tea. On days you would feel too tired to stay up any longer, he’d take you to bed, join you under the covers and tell you about his day with a soft smile on his lips while holding you close and stroking your hair. (doesn’t that sound amazing)

It’s not a secret that Atsumu loves getting on other people’s nerves, especially the ones closest to him, and it’s no different with you. He constantly teases you and tries provoking you with that shit eating grin sitting on his lips. He draws the line at jokes involving your insecurities, though. At least he tries to, because from time to time he may accidentally overstep your boundaries, he just can’t keep his mouth shut. He may be a blunt shit at times, but he’s not cruel, especially not to you. Maybe a bit. Sometimes.

Contrary to his wannabe-smug-fuckboy side is a side of his you’ll get to experience the more comfortable Atsumu grows in your relationship, Softsumu It doesn’t happen every day, and it definitely doesn’t show when people (aside from his brother) are around, but when he goes into soft boy mode it’s like a switch has been flipped.

 Softsumu just hits differently. It often shows when the two of you spend time together after not having seen each other in a while or when he feels down, or exhausted. Coming up to you for a hug every so often, kissing your temples, playing with your hair and you hands, he just can’t get enough of you. Return his affection when he’s in that kind of mood and you’ll make him the happiest man alive. He may not outright say it, because it’s a little embarrassing, but he loves receiving your affection. bc sometimes he’s like ew affection I don’t need that soppy shit but he does

He likes taking baths together. It’s pillow talk of some sort, but bathtub talk. Until you look like raisins.

You’ll have to show him how you want to be treated by him. Atsumu used to be an egoistic and a pretty damn cocky person, just a frigging brat in general, and while he changed a lot, for the better, after starting his volleyball career, he still has problems reading others feelings/behavior from time to time. It’s not that he doesn’t care about other people, he certainly does, but Atsumu mistakenly assumes that the people around him express their feelings the way he does, that they want and need what he wants and needs. Does that make sense? Also, he’s just really awkward around you in the beginning and has no clue how to treat you right.

Not really the jealous type. Okay, maybe a bit jealous from time to time. And he sometimes has phases where he feels particularly insecure, and vulnerable. When one of those phases hit him he gets a bit clingier, and jealous, when he thinks you’re giving somebody more attention than him. It really comes down to him being afraid of not being good enough for you, as in not being there enough for you or not being able to fulfill you wants and needs properly. Such a phase doesn’t last very long, though, and after you give him reassurance and some affection he’ll be back to his confident, idiotic self in no time.

Atsumu had a short temper when he was younger, I imagine that he gets more patient with time and experience, but the temper’s still there, you know? If you’re having an argument with him and it starts getting a little heated, he tries his best to stay calm. You will hear him sighing heavily and see him rubbing his temples a lot, he really does try, but in the end,  he still gets frustrated rather quickly. Especially if you don’t get his point and he has to repeatedly explain something.

Really bad at apologizing, his pride is a little too strong. He quickly realizes when he made a mistake or is in the wrong, but he has a hard time coming forward and admitting his wrongdoing.

When he’s really mad he’ll either leave and not come back until he cooled down, or try to give you the cold shoulder. Both methods work semi-well, because he can’t stay mad at you for long, he’s pretty stubborn though, so the argument will come up again until you resolve it.

Catch him huffing and muttering mean remarks under his breath when he’s mad at you for something minor, or something that isn’t even worth mentioning, because he’s the only one that thinks you did something wrong, and also a petty little shit.

Loves you A LOT. All the way. And he likes showing you exactly how much he loves you, in private as well as in public.

That being said, Atsumu has absolutely no problem PDA. He likes having an arm around you, and will gladly hold your hand while you’re walking together.

He’s a very passionate, and wild lover. Sure, he doesn’t act inappropriately with you in public, but in private he’s a hands-on kind of guy. Literally. He has to have his hands on your body, not even in a sexual way. He just like knowing, feeling, that you’re there, beside him. That make sense?

Usually more of an outdoor dates kind of person, but if he’s feeling rather exhausted or socially spent, he would prefer a relaxing evening at home, preferably with you, watching movies or playing some games.

If you’re quite a bit shorter than him you bet he’ll use your shoulder or even your head as an armrest, and this action often comes with a teasing remark about your height.

Will put stuff, especially foods/snacks you love, on the top shelf. Because he thinks it’s funny watching you climb the kitchen counter like a monkey.

Absolutely loves giving you back hugs and resting his head on your shoulder or nuzzling his nose into your neck! Doesn’t happen that often, but it’s a sight to behold. He especially likes to do this when you’re going on about your day at home, or when it’s still early and you’re lying in bed together.

[catnippackets]

have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alittlebitgoofy]

Because I have decided that the Brat Pack is my new favourite dynamic, Brat Pack for numbers 18, 20, 26,28 and 29 please.

honestly same very obsessed i'm glad i'm not the only one lol

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

okay so they all tend to react differently to fights, kendall is usually the first one to try and make up, gia shuts off for a while until they can deal with their feelings and synthia just cries after an argument (she can get very heated and ends up very emotional after)

if it's two people having an argument there's often a mediator, the amount of times synthia has sat just calling gia and kendall stupid for arguing over nothing is insane, occasionally her and gia will blow up at each other (fire signs and what not) and kendall is left to pick up the pieces. she knows to give gia space but synthia needs support or she'll just be a crying mess for a while until it's resolved or she gets it all out

kendall is quick to apologise and admit she's wrong, gia finds it a lot harder, they're very proud and it's difficult to be vulnerable sometimes, that may be what they get into a fight with synthia about, two total opposites in that regard

no matter how bad the fight though, cuddles tend to make it better, they all sleep in the same bed so it's kind of hard to ignore each other, synthia will cuddle even if she's mad and kendall can't say no, nor can gia if she looks at them just right

20. Where do they go on holiday?

now that i have learnt gia is italian (don't come for me i'm stupid, mal laughed at me already) i'm gonna say italy and they get very serious about taking them to the best places and seeing all the sights. it's funny bc synthia is the least fussy person and doesn't really get the differences in a lot of dishes and kendall is like, just down for the ride

gia gets very passionate though so they both listen intently to everything they're saying about landmarks and shit

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

boundaries, they all have differant levels and they needs to discuss it seriously, no one wants to make anyone uncomfortable and communication is very important to their relationship. no one wants to feel left out or like there's favouritism so they all sit down and talk about things every so often and mention anything that may be happening or any concerns

28. Why do they get jealous? they're all hot and pretty popular so they're used to people flirting with their partners but seeing synthia accidentally flirt with someone is enough to make gia fucking seethe with rage, kendall would usually be there like hey it's not a big deal she doesn't realise what she's doing (that's a running trend, she's too nice to realise what is and isn't flirting) but sometimes people get the wrong idea and it makes her just as angry, that's a fun one. two angry people walking up to synthia and just taking her back bc she's their sunshine babe no one elses

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love? for kendall it's the small things, coming home to see her two favourite people and the utter adoration and love she gets from them, it’s the best thing after a hard day to be smothered by two very loving people. sometimes they cook something together for her and it almost always makes her tear up bc she’s not used to being so loved and shown it so often

for gia it’s having that constant support, kendall being there for them is what kept them going for a long time then synthia came along and it’s impossible to be in a bad mood with her around. she’s the first to run to gia if she senses anything slightly off and just sit with them until they’re ok to say something or feeling better 

synthia is affection, it’s why she’s always so touchy bc that’s how she shows her love. being smushed inbetween gia and kendall is enough to make her realise how lucky she is and how much she loves them, it always ends up in her saying soft things, whispering that she loves them or kissing whoever is closest to her 

[amaryllisblackthorn]

so I'm going through 02 subs to get a better idea and track how takeru feels about ken post-kaiser

 interesting is that in ep25, takeru says to miyako that he's opposed to ken joining the team, but unlike miyako takeru does think, like daisuke, that ken has changed and isn't the same as he used to be. 

 it's interesting that he's opposed to ken joining the team but also thinks ken has changed. 

 this makes him and daisuke the only ones who (consciously) think ken had changed at this point. miyako deep down feels that ken has changed but she wrestles with that feeling throughout the episode. hikari is unsure and wants to wait and watch him more, and iori is steadfast about his feelings. 

if takeru thinks ken has changed, then why is he opposed to ken joining them? 

 it doesn't seem to be about holding a grudge or being unable to forgive him. the way takeru says that he's against ken joining the team is interesting, too. kind of soft and like maybe he’s not sure how miyako feels ? I don't know how to describe it. its not like iori's passionate no; and hikari's answer isn't so much that she's opposed to ken joining as it is she doesn't know yet. like, he’s committed to his position unlike Hikari, but he’s not as angry or intense about it like Iori? as in like, he has reasons, but they’re not reasons of like, anger? idk. and we don’t really get to hear why he’s against it, either. hikari’s unsure of ken’s intentions, iori can’t forgive ken for all the digimon he’s hurt, and miyako is uncomfortable that  ken killed the digimon which makes her question if she can say he’s really changed. but takeru doesn’t really express why he’s opposed to ken joining the team, just that he is.  it’s also kind of interesting that takeru is the only one we don’t see daisuke trying to convince one-on-one.

 is takeru against it bc he thinks ken needs more time before being ready to team up? bc he thinks the team needs more time before teaming up with ken (like, the teamwork wouldn't be good bc of how iori's feeling, for example )? something else? 

 what's even more interesting is takeru overlooking ken and daisuke's conversation. to me it looks like daisuke caught ken on kens way home from school, in tamachi. if it was in tamachi, why was takeru there?? did he follow daisuke? did he want to talk to ken himself? did he just want to observe ken? bc like the way takeru is posed, it kind of looks like he unintentionally saw them on his way home, but that doesn’t make sense if he’s in tamachi; also, he’s alone and not with miyako or iori. so why was takeru in tamachi?

 and what takeru says is interesting, too. I actually originally didn't get that he was referring to ken when he said it; I thought he was referring to daisuke (bc patamon was talking about daisuke) and I was kind of confused until I saw somewhere else  contextualizing it as re:ken.

takeru says that [ken] doesn't seem to see things the way he used to but he looks determined, and he wonders what he's thinking. 

[ EDIT: actually, now i do think he’s talking about Daisuke. his use of [demo] implies this statement is connected to his earlier one, which is him agreeing with Patamon that Daisuke is working hard. group this with the focus on Daisuke from Takeru’s focal point in the shot makes it seem he is talking about Daisuke when he says that he doesn’t seem to see things the way he used to. aaah im confused again ]

it then seems like takeru calls miyako afterwards?? as like a result of what he saw, to which we hear miyako say 'anyway I understand what daisuke was trying to say' before hanging up. and I'm like interested in why takeru made that phone call and what he said? like. he's opposed to ken joining the team, so he probably wasn't calling to try to persuade her ('like maybe we should give him a chance?'). but he does think ken has changed, which he thinks in previous scene with miyako and reiterates after watching daisuke and ken, so was he calling miyako because he felt like he should tell her that maybe ken has changed, irrelevant to if he should join the team? it's just... so interesting ...

 and like. a lot of the kids hang ups are that ken seemingly killed an enemy digimon. but takeru was with daisuke in being resolved to kill the golemon if they had to in this episode, so I doubt takeru was opposed to ken joining the team bc of that. 

 in ep26 when daisuke is talking about understanding ken’s heart because  of his crest, takeru says that  daisuke ‘may be able to understand it but I don't really get it' and the way he says it is...interesting? like it’s not something he’s happy about, that he doesn’t get it.i really wish i could hear/know the actual words he’s saying, but the music is kind of too loud when he says the ‘but i don’t really get it’. following the subs, takeru is basically saying ‘daisuke may be able to understand ken’s heart, but i don’t really get it’.  basically, takeru does believe that ken has changed (like daisuke has said) but doesn’t understand ken’s heart.

[EDIT: I think I figured out what Takeru is saying at the second part -- ‘boku ni wa, chotto pintokonai na’ which is accurately represented by the sub ‘I don’t really get it’. pintokonai is the negative form of pintokuru, which is translated as ‘get’ and also means ‘know intuitively’. this is probably a further hint at the jogress between ken and daisuke. but good to note.]

 and when daisuke says that kens trying hard in his own way, takeru replies that he just hopes ken isn't doing it to satisfy himself (just to ease his guilt). takeru doesn't say this angrily or bitterly. he seems to like genuinely mean it but also is not sure that's not what kens doing? maybe even a little sad? maybe? and they have takeru looking back while the other three are a distant behind him looking forward, indicating a sort of moment with daisuke and takeru in regards to ken. they’re the only two still looking at ken, while the others are walking on.

ive looked a little more into it and what takeru says is “sono ganbari ga ... jiko manzoku de owaranakereba ii kedo ne” or iikedo(ne) i’ve seen them both ways. now the ‘kereba’ usually means that it’s a (provisional?) conditional form and the na means it’s negative, and they’re attached to the owaru, which means ‘to end/finish’. so it’s basically ‘if [it] doesn’t end’ -- basically if i understand correctly i think the sentence can also be translated at ‘it’s good, if that hard work doesn’t end with/in self-satisfaction’ or ‘if that hard work (...) doesn’t end with/in self-satisfaction, it’s good’, or even ‘that hard work is good unless it ends with/in self-satisfaction’. i have seen ‘ii kedo ne’ translated as ‘i hope/wish’ in certain contexts but the use of the (provisional) conditional form, i think, is lost using that equivalent. like, the nuance, maybe? idk its hard for me to say because i’m not japanese nor am i remotely fluent. wikipedia says that this form is used “In conditionals where the emphasis rests more on the condition than the result”, and like the overall meaning is basically the same with ‘i just hope that effort isn’t just to satisfy himself’ because the emphasis is on the condition of ‘(not) doing it for self-satisfaction’ and both suggest takeru’s unsure on if ken’s currently meeting those conditions, but idk i think ‘i just hope that effort isn’t just to satisfy himself’ can possibly come off a bit more negative/pessimistic/idk ? im probably overdoing. i just thought it was interesting

 also the way takeru comes up with the recon plan in ep28 is very comprise/find a solution we're all happy with - y, for a lack of better words, which will kind of come up again at the end of the episode. hikari and miyako think it's a bad idea to go into the house bc it's almost def a trap. takeru & ken are aware it's probably a trap but they and daisuke think it's best to go in bc there's not really any other choice, but ken wants to go in alone so the others don't get involved/hurt, and daisuke is against ken going in there alone; I don't remember iori's initial opinion. 

 takeru then suggests that 'how about daisuke-Kun, Ichijouji-kun, and I go in to check it out first'. iori wants to go too, whether to pay back ken, to keep an eye on him, or because he doesn't want to feel like he owes ken anything by relying on him for this, and takeru voluntarily stays behind so miyako and hikari aren't alone.

Takeru's done this before in ep19, which comes off a problematically sexist, and im not sayin it isn't, but I'm wondering if it's more about numbers to him? like, it's not safe to leave the two of them behind not bc they're girls but bc it's just two of them, and three is a better number ? especially when you're on a recon/sneaky mission which was sort of the case in ep19 and this one, you want fewer numbers to avoid getting noticed. I'd have to go back and pay attention to see if that's consistent or if it really is just sexism. (hikari and miyako leave daisuke alone in ep19 which flies in the face of the number strategy, but that doesn't really shed light on Takeru's motivations; tho regardless that was kind of a messed up thing to do re:daisuke?) bc like. it seems likely /really/ sexist to assume the youngest should be responsible for the two girls just bc he's a boy, especially when one of the girls is the oldest member.

then ep29, when iori is hesitant to destroy archnemon, ,ken says that if that’s how it is to leave it to him so they don’t have to be the ones to defeat/kill her. takeru then comes in with ‘don’t try to act cool!’ (also used to me show off, try to impress, etc) and it’s..interesting. there’s like...emotion in his voice but like...it’s not strong anger/hatred or something..i don’t know how to describe it tho. he then goes and says ‘how about we find some place to temporarily imprison her?’ 

 so what does the ‘don’t try to act cool’ refer to?

 it was said in response to ken offering to kill archnemon so the other kids didn’t have to. takeru also responds with a (temporary) solution, a sort of compromise, before they have to rush to decisions. the digimon think they have to kill archnemon bc she will not stop. iori is vocally uncomfortable/against that. (miyako doesn’t say anything, but she has been shown to have the same feelings as iori on the matter; hikari has been shown to be reluctant to kill but accepting of the fact that sometimes its the only choice; daisuke and takeru are both for it if it comes to that). ken wants to be the one to kill archnemon so the other kids dont have to. so takeru’s solution here is let’s find a place to imprison her for now, and we can decide what to do then.

takeru probably isn’t protesting the fact that ken thinks killing archnemon is the answer first in itself. like i said before, takeru was completely onboard with killing the golemon with daisuke if it came to that. so what does he find objectionable in what ken proposed? what is it that takeru is objecting against when he tells ken not to act cool?

i think it may be referring to ken being willing to be the one to bear the sin, so to speak. in other words, ken’s sort of martyr complex motivated by his guilt . like, in a ‘don’t do this to satisfy your guilt complex’. he doesn’t find the proposed action objectionable but the motivation, which is part of why he proposes to delay making a hard decision on archnemon’s fate, so ken doesn’t do it just because he feels like he has to be the one to do it, because of his guilt or masochism. if that makes sense. i think it sort of ties into what takeru was saying back in episode 26, about how he hopes ken’s hard work isn’t for self-satisfaction (to satisfy his guilt). 

in episode 30, all the kids are disappointed that iori and ken aren’t getting along, which seems to mean that the rest of the kids at this point aren’t against ken being on the team anymore. hikari makes a comment about ‘i cant say i don’t know how iori-kun feels, but...’, implying that she personally still has some reservations about ken, but isnt against him being on the team. this also implies that takeru is no longer opposed to ken being on the team. so between ep25 and ep30, takeru is no longer opposed to ken being on the team. 

also takeru looks noticeably mad after archnemon and mummon escape at the end of ep29 and speaks pretty angrily when he asks them ‘what do you want’ when they show up in ep30, and that could be in response to archnemon saying in episode 29 that her life’s purpose is for destruction. the blackwargreymon arc goes over how takeru feels about that kind of motivation.

i still have to go over the destiny stones arc before i can make a proper analysis of takeru’s perspective but so far from what i’ve gather, i think takeru’s main concern is regarding ken’s motivations (re:his guilt). takeru believes that ken has changed and is also not against killing digimon if it comes to that, so those can’t be the reasons he was opposed to ken joining the team. and the few comments he makes in regards to his thoughts re:ken seem to be connected by that idea (his motives).

‘you may be able to understand [ken’s heart], but i still don't really get it/know intuitively.’

‘ i just hope that effort isn't just to satisfy himself’/’it’s good, if that hard work doesn’t end with/in his self-satisfaction'

‘don’t try to act  cool!’ in response to ‘if that’s how it is, then let me be the one to do it. you guys don’t have to be the ones to take him down (ie kill)’

i’m curious to see how that carries over to the destiny stones arc and the resolution. i remember yamato drawing a parallel to iori about takeru and ken feeling the same way about those who use powers of darkness for destruction, and i recall ken saying that those who do so are ‘unforgivable’, the same word takeru used back in ep20, i think, to refer to kimeramon and the same word takeru uses in the destiny stones arc; i’ll have to note if takeru has a reaction to ken saying that, and if that has any significance -- ken being motivated not just by his guilt but by righteous indignant anger.

something else interesting to note is that takeru and daisuke seem to have similar feelings about ken -- that he’s changed and that it’s not a good thing that he seems to be motivated by guilt (Daisuke’s iconic ‘live’ (pre)jogress speech). a big difference is, though, that daisuke reaches out to ken, and takeru doesn’t. 

part of that is because daisuke is a really earnest guy, for lack of a better word. i’m also wondering if the embarrassment takeru says he feels in that drama cd regarding losing it and attacking ken has anything to do with takeru not reaching out to him? i think the first time takeru really ‘reaches out’ to ken is when takeru offers ken the food at that restaurant at the end of ep37, or maybe even earlier in that episode when takeru says that thing about ‘not losing the light inside of you’ in response to/to refute ken’s statement regarding the darkness; the next episode having takeru gladly accept ken’s invitation to his party. but like i said, i need to watch the episodes and observe before i can actually say anything.

i’m just really interesting in understanding takeru’s feelings regarding ken post-kaiser, because i feel like it’s a little vaguer than the others are? at least to me. so im finding this all interesting. 

so, the big questions for me:

why is takeru opposed to ken joining the team?

why was takeru in tamachi? (if he was)

why did takeru call miyako? (if it was him)

why was takeru no longer opposed to ken joining the team by ep30?

what did takeru mean when he told ken to not act cool?

as i’ve shown i have some ideas, but hopefully after this watchthrough i’ll have a better understanding or something. 

also there’s a good chance i mislabeled an episode or several so im apologizing now if i missed any

EDIT: I got to the Christmas episode, wrote my notes, so I’ll be able to finish the analysis pretty soon ! (some of) my preliminary thoughts on this part are basically:

ken probably thinks takeru dislikes him until the qinglongmon episode

takeru probably doesn’t realize that ken probably thinks he dislikes him until around the qinglongmon episode

this may be related to takeru not really realizing how private/reserved he is about his inner feelings/thoughts and how it comes off

among other things. ep 34 and 35 are pretty meaty which is why it's taking a while to get my thoughts together in a semi-coherent manner

[idleheart]

I Never Liked You

notes: excuse me, i’m new in town and it gets worse!! so have some ren pre-relationship angst-fluff bc this rabbit hole has claimed me.  rating: we’re starting out at the very most mature. it’s extremely tame but there are some, ahem, compromising positions. pairing: ren jinguji / reader word count: 2,173

He wants long love letters, but he doesn’t think you love him.

Ren’s mind wanders between the hardwood floor of your apartment and the softness of your chest. Even there, somewhere safe with your weight above him, he isn’t sure. You lean forward, all body and bossy in tone. You take up his wrists, thin but not delicate and you push them against the edge of the carpet.

Skin on his has never felt like this, completely absent of any sort of spark or light. But if you were to release him, he knows he’d stay in the same place. He’d wait for you to hold him down again, numbly aware that to be in your arms is better than the alternative.

It’s real for him, at least. This lacks the day-glo warmth of televised love, loved scraped down and condensed to a few easy words. He’s usually so good with words. But you are so close, hovering above him like an angel. 

So close, you’re so close. Just a little closer---

“I win again,” you give a laugh, a sweet-sounding laugh before he’s let go. There’s nowhere further to fall, but Ren feels the ground give out under him all the same. You pop up, your hair falling around your shoulders. Triumph is in your smile. You have no idea how he feels, surely.

He rights his expression before you can get a good look at him. He’s in mourning for a moment, all wrapped up in the arch of your grin and missing your pleasant weight.

“I just wanted to see you smile,” he retorts, “you’re cute when you win.”

“Oh, I’m sure it was for your benefit,” you tease, leaning into the melodramatic lie he easily weaves. 

But you don’t lean into him. You give him space, retreating from the familiar press of bodies. You shift, leaning all your weight on your right knee and moving until the heat of your thighs against his are just a memory.

You sit in a heap on the floor next to him, still laughing under your breath.

“Good fight,” you congratulate him. You hold out your hand, offering it the way a gracious victor should always offer peace.

After some hesitation, a question of if he truly wants to damn himself a second time, Ren takes it. It’s the wrong choice, it has to be. There is no spark, just as before, but the rightness of touching you is clear.

Why do anything else, he wonders as he sits up. His hair falls in his eyes and you’re drawn to him almost out of instinct.

“May I?” you ask, gesturing to the side of his beautiful face. He smiles, nods as casually as he can manage and tries not to flinch when your fingers brush his cheek. 

You ask near-every time before laying a hand on him. You find ways to make his stomach sink and cheeks burn. But for all his years of experience doing the same, having the direction suddenly changed is odd. The drop of his heart from his ribcage borders on unpleasant.

Ren looks at you, really looks as best he can without alerting that something’s wrong. What do you see when you stare back? Undoubtedly a pretty face, with eyes beautiful enough to fall into. But would you? Have you? Fallen, that is. Once, he thought he could tell for certain. Now, it isn’t so.

“Your hands are cold,” he exclaims, if only so you’ll stop touching somewhere that nearly aches for this kind of unexpected intimacy. Even if it’s difficult, too near to what he’s always wanted, he doesn’t want to upset you by brushing it off. 

So he takes your hand back in his, his palm swallowing yours. You give his fingers a gentle squeeze, looking worried all of a sudden.

“Wait, really?” you start. You put your other hand to your cheek, feeling your temperature. “I think I’m a little warm, actually.”

There’s a beat, before you see the smile curling up at the corner of his mouth. With a huff, you tug your hand from Ren’s.

“You’re such a liar, I wasn’t even a little bit cold,” you snap, but there’s no bite in your voice. His smile only grows wider, more than happy to return to playful banter. It’s his area of expertise.

“Today just isn’t your day, you keep letting your guard down,” he replies. There’s a sing-song quality to his voice, he doesn’t want to consider whether it’ll work to mask the fresh lie.

“You just wanted to hold my hand,” you mutter, “even after I won, fair and square.”

“You didn’t win honourably,” he retorts, making your eyes snap to him. The fire Ren sees is so warm, closer to what he’s used to from women and yet still markedly different. Hot passion is one thing, he knows it well.

But the way you look, bubbling on the edge of annoyance and put-out is something else entirely. He’s too afraid to name it love, to hope that you might want this forever. He does, he thinks, as he pictures what will happen when this half-argument half-joke is resolved.

The two of you will sit on your couch, channel surfing and retelling old stories from childhood. You’ll surprise him by laughing at his jokes, or leaning over to ask about how the trip to the mechanic went. You remember these things, the things that are the most precious to him. But still, he is in no rush to call it loving acts.

Love is splendid, but it grows cold too soon.

“I did so!” you exclaim. He tuts, shaking his head.

“You disarmed me with your beauty, that’s hardly fair,” he replies. You clearly dislike his tone, it makes you cock your head to the side.

He fails to notice the way you stiffen up, Ren’s admittedly distracted by your hair falling over your bare neck. You’re even beautiful when annoyed with him. In your own uncomplicated way, you’ve made any sort of reaction to his antics an event.

He’s keen to chase that next exasperated sigh or bright smile. But perhaps he’s underestimated your mood this evening.

You turn to him, twisting just slightly to stare. Sat on the ground, you can look directly at him without the hindrance of any height differences. It’s never unnerving to see you confident, it makes his heart flutter.

“You think you’re really tough, huh?” you ask, reaching out and poking him in the chest. It’s a sharp contrast to the feel of your hand in his hair, but no attention you give could go unappreciated.

“Hey, now, don’t put words in my mouth. I just said—” he starts, a grin creeping onto his face to betray him. He meant what he said, to an extent. Though he’s not ready to admit that more than just your pretty face caught him off-guard.

If it was only that, he might’ve stood a chance.

“If you want to fight again, I’ll fight,” you continue, ignoring his futile attempts to diffuse your ire. It isn’t real, he knows, he’s seen you angry and this is far from it. “You’re already on your back, that’s not much of a challenge.”

You straighten up. Despite the offense taken, there’s still that soft hint of mirth in your eyes as you shift closer to him.

“No I’m n—” he starts. You’re looking for a rematch, obviously, and Ren relaxes when you reach out. Your hands find his shoulders this time, giving a gentle shove that knocks him back because he allows it.

Love is stupid, really. He never thought that lying down could be an admission, not in the way that he’s interpreted it. But he goes down easy, falling with a soft thud and a surprised exhale. His eyes widen, playing along with your act.

“Not fair again! I just got distracted a second time,” he insists. But what he doesn’t anticipate is how genuinely fast you are.

With premeditated grace, you’re back on top of him. With ease, he’s compromised. You’re likely expecting him to put up at least the pretense of a fight, but it doesn’t come. His mouth hangs open in genuine shock. The reappearance of your comfortable heat and weight is like a physical blow, one that blindsides him bad enough to send his thoughts racing.

Racing, but scattered. He can’t stutter out anything else, not even an excuse as to why he just lies there. You lean over him, amused but seemingly unsurprised. He expects you to stop at a certain point, but you shift and push yourself onto your knees.

Your face is so close to his. It’s almost close enough. Your hair smells good, like the lilac bush that blooms in an untidily outside your bedroom window. Ren wants to brush away--- something. He isn’t sure. Nothing obstructs his view of you, but he wants to touch you all the same. If only so he can quiet his racing heart.

He thinks you’re going to kiss him. You’re near enough to do it, he rationalizes. But you turn your head at the last second, just before your lips can brush his. You press your mouth instead to the shell of his ear. Your chest is to his chest. Can you hear it, too? His pulse is working overtime.

A part of him hopes so. He braces himself.

“So close your eyes, love,” you whisper. The end of your sentence melts into a giggle. “I can’t distract you if you can’t see me.”

“Yes you can,” he returns. Ren’s eyes stay open because there’s no point in pretending you’re right. It isn’t the look of you, it’s everything else.

“You’re such a flirt!” you exclaim, the disbelief in your voice is shattering. But you don’t sit up, not yet. You seem to like seeing him squirm, laid out beneath you with his ribcage cracked open. He knows he’s lacking in dignity when he lets you look at him without restraint.

You still don’t look annoyed any more. No, you stare at him with something else in your eyes. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say you knew exactly what you did to him. But that isn’t quite accurate.

If Ren didn’t know you at all, he’d say that your heated gaze holds a similar uncertainty. With a love that won’t be willingly admitted.

And then you blink, you smirk at him. He’s still got his eyes open, looking stricken but playful. The tension’s receded, your return to this most-favoured spot is no longer something that can be read into. You both retreat to ignorance, happy to write off the exchange as merely awkward. The shame that turns Ren’s cheeks a bit pink is rooted in inaction, not the abundance of it.

He should say something, he realizes. When is he ever at a loss for words? He should say something now.

But when he clears his throat, makes ready to volley a compliment about how he could get used to this--- you’re already gone.

Like before, you ease off him. Maybe you’re embarrassed as well, nervous because you could have and indeed wanted to kiss him. But you failed. Ren doesn’t know which is worse, his regret or your own.

Unlike before, you lie down next to him. The hardwood presses against your shoulder blades, his arm is dangerously close to yours. He hopes he didn’t imagine your shuddering inhale before you move a little nearer. Near enough to put your skin on his. 

The rightness returns, even if he feels like something has definitely changed. Hopefully for the better, but he can’t be sure just yet. 

“Don’t let me win next time,” you say, “it’s only fun when we both care.”

“It’s just a game,” Ren finally finds his voice, though it sounds half-caught in his throat. 

“Not to me!” you exclaim, giving over to a half-joking tone. Any serious connection is to be ignored, for the comfort of both. “This is very serious, I never lose a fight. And not just because I’m pretty!”

“Like I said, you’re not just distractingly beautiful,” Ren admits, willing to budge on that issue if only to hide another. “You’re too fast for me.”

But he means to say you’re perfect. Perfect in every way. Your eyes, your body, your wit and your charms work together to make him helpless. 

You don’t catch that, though. You’re not looking at him any more. You’ve not pulled away, but you’ve turned your head to look at the ceiling.

“I’m glad we’re friends, Ren,” you start, “I doubt any of the other guys would let me get away with half the stuff you do.”

“Cut yourself some slack, you’re not so bad. Maybe I like you,” he replies. Ren can’t bring himself to look away from the ceiling either.

It’s the biggest lie yet, perhaps. He loves you, and the use of softer words won’t change that. He has never, ever been able to do anything less.