#resilientRust

[ase-trollplays]

--resilientRust [RR] began trolling chronicallyMousy [CM]--

--resilientRust [RR] began trolling chronicallyMousy [CM]--

RR: Howdy, miss ma'am. You got a minute?

CM: ...of course...

CM: ...you didnt beat up another werewolf did you?...

RR: Haha, nah, nothing like that tonight.

RR: Just feeling powerful hivesick tonight. I really took my desert for granted.

RR: It was always quiet and peaceful, not a soul around except your last moirail.

RR: Stars in the sky shining bright and beautiful like nothing you've ever seen.

RR: I miss it. I miss home. This city life ain't doing it for me. I'm a country gal, pupated and raised. This city's starting to feel like just another cage.

RR: I didn't realize just how much this place sucks until I came back from getting Pa to stop waiting for me and leave. It felt so good to be back there, and now being back here just.

RR: I hate it here. I fucking hate it here.

CM: ...im s-sorry... )//:3 ...i can imagine how you feel... ...if i had to leave the forest and s-stay in the city... i would have a terrible time adjusting...

CM: ...itll get better... though... ...its not the desert you grew up in... but its not all bad... right?... ...it has to be nice not having to ride forty-five minutes each way every couple of weeks for necessities...

CM: ...and theres a lot more to do in the city than when you were out in the desert... ...theres a mall... a movie theater... lots of places to shop and eat...

RR: I appreciate what you're saying, but this place will never feel like home. Not like I knew it.

CM: ...thats true... ...itll never be like the desert... but that doesnt have to be a bad thing... ...if nothing else... youre s-somewhere youre s-safe from being found or turned in...

CM: ...just keep giving it time... ...it wont feel like a cage forever... (//:3

RR: It does when I'm not safe outside of it. Even when they eventually give up trying to find me

RR: Which could be sweeps from now

RR: I'm never going to be safe outside of here except at you or Dan's hives, and I can't go to either of y'all's hives too often or I could lead trouble to you.

RR: God, and there's so many fucking bars and shit here. I've got so much more free time since I lost my job that I'm going insane.

CM: ...is there an alcoholics anonymous or s-something there?...

RR: Nope. I tried finding one first thing after I got settled, and I don't know shit about starting one.

RR: Watching tv and going through the same fucking textbooks over and over gets real old after a while.

CM: ...maybe you could join a gym?... ...i remember you had a bunch of weights and equipment at your old hive... ...s-since you dont have room for any of that anymore... going to a gym is s-something constructive you can do...

CM: ...you like working out and exercising... ...maybe you can even take darius once in a while s-so you two can hang out more...

RR: I have been getting a little soft lately. Maybe I'll look for one. Pushups, situps, and squats at home only do so much maintenance.

CM: ...exactly...

RR: Maybe I'll take you with me. It could be a nice bonding experience.

CM: ...i dont know about that... ...im not the most athletic or s-strong... S//:3

RR: All the more reason to go, and if anyone gives you shit I'll break their spine.

CM: ...please dont s-start fights... especially not for my s-sake... ...losing your temper is what started all this in the first place...

RR: Relax, you know I'm only joking.

CM: ...are you...

RR: I'm mostly joking. Like ninety percent joking.

CM: |//:3

RR: Don't gimme that face. I promise I won't fight anyone.

CM: ...you know... s-since you have a lot of time now... you could give therapy a try... ...you dont have to go in person... ...a lot of them do virtual appointments... and ive been researching trauma therapists that s-specialize in working with trolls with PTSD and other issues...

RR: I told you I'm not going. And I don't have PTSD. And even if I do, it's not that serious.

CM: ...yes it is... and you need to s-stop denying it... ...im just trying to help you... and believe me when i s-say it would help you a lot...

RR: I. Don't. Need. It.

RR: End of story. Keep it up and I'm signing off.

CM: ...okay... ...im s-sorry... ...i wont bring it up again...

RR: Thank you. That's all I'm asking for.

RR: I'll start looking for a gym, but I can't spend every night there. That's still not gonna be enough to really keep me busy and out of trouble.

CM: ...maybe you can get another job...

RR: Like what? I don't have any working experience except fighting and fight-related shit.

RR: I don't have the patience for working with the public either. We know I don't. First time someone gives me a little too much lip I'll hop the counter.

CM: ...yeah... you would... )//:3

CM: ...what about a warehouse or a factory job?...

CM: ...theyre fast paced... you dont have customers to deal with... and they pay well... ...they also have long hours... and usually only have you work four days a week... s-so youd s-still have time for other things...

RR: How do you know so much about factory and warehouse jobs? Have you worked one before?

CM: ...no... ...when you first told me what happened to your job... i s-started looking up other jobs for you...

RR: Well that's mighty kind of you. I'm surprised you didn't tell me about them long before now.

CM: ...i was working through my own issues... not to mention the time ive been s-spending with varoll... ...plus... i had a mountain of commissions i needed to catch up on...

CM: ...it s-slipped my mind for a while...

RR: Well, better late than never. I'll see if there's anything close I can apply to. Considering there's a lot of other felons here and a lot of anti-empire sentiment, hopefully they won't sell me out.

CM: ...just be extra... extra careful...

RR: I'm planning on it. Don't worry your pretty little head about that.

CM: (//:3

CM: ...if you want... i can head out there and visit...

RR: I don't think meemaw would want that since she can't fit in my apartment, and I know we'd both feel awful leaving her all alone outside.

RR: Tell you what. I'll come to you instead. How's that sound?

CM: ...s-sounds good to me... ...when are you planning on coming over?... o//:3

RR: Shoot, I can head over right now. I ain't doing nothing but sitting around looking ugly.

RR: It shouldn't take me longer than thirty minutes to get to you. I just filled Cherry up last night, so she's good to go.

CM: ...okay... ...ill make us s-something to eat...

RR: Sounds good to me. See you soon. <>

CM: ...s-see you s-soon... <>

--resilientRust [RR] gave up trolling chronically Mousy [CM]--

[ase-trollplays]

Points For Trying

==> Thiomi: Finish the last of your commissions

You wish. You still have three illustrations and two short stories to do. You're making great progress, though. You're also back in your hive for the first time since the business with Joclyn and the kidnapping. Mousemom is by your side watching you work and to help you feel a little less anxious.

You pull up trollian on your husktop and frown. Corali is still offline. She said she would check on you at some point tonight, but you haven't heard anything from her. You could always call her. It's not like she's busy nowanights after what happened with her job. However, you feel like you're always the one reaching out. You shouldn't have to chase h--

--resilientRust [RR] began trolling chronicallyMousey [CM]--

RR: Howdy, Miss Ma'am. How's your night going? You feeling okay being in your hive?

RR: Sorry for taking so long. I got into a little scuffle while I was out.

You breathe a sigh of relief and feel a little guilty for doubting her. You're concerned about her getting into a fight, though. She's supposed to be keeping a low profile while her case is still ongoing and she could be caught.

CM: ...its okay... ...im just glad to hear from you...

CM: ...are you okay?... ...are you at the hospital still?...

RR: Nah, I'm at my hiveblock. I just went to a local clinic and got a few stitches on the back of my head. Got the other troll fixed up, too.

CM: ...you helped the person you fought?... ...thats really thoughtful and considerate...

RR: Thanks. The fucker didn't make it easy. I had to beat him and taze him unconscious or he would've ran off.

CM: ...YOU DID WHAT!!!...

What the hell. What the hell!!? WHAT THE HELL--

RR: It ain't as bad as it sounds! I couldn't let him just fuck off!

RR: His eye was busted like a grape. If I let him go, it would've probably killed him eventually.

RR: I was doing him a favor, believe me.

CM: ...oh my god...

CM: ...corali... you cant do that!... ...if s-someone doesnt want to be helped... just let them go!... ...what happens afterwards isnt your fault or your business!...

That's real rich coming from you who compulsively sticks your neck out for anyone and everyone who seems like they need help or someone in their corner. You're getting a lot better at not doing that anymore at your therapist's and your friends' behest, though.

RR: I just wanted to get him more help since the fight didn't help as much as I thought it would.

CM: ...what do you mean?...

RR: He's a lot like I was. I could see it when I talked to him and really looked at him. He's a strong kickass survivor of a troll who lost his spark.

RR: Seeing as I know what it's like when the fire inside you gets blown out, I wanted to try and relight it.

CM: ...s-so... the fight was your idea... and you destroyed his eye on the process... then beat him up even more and tazed him until he lost consciousness s-so you could get him medical help...

You're going to rip your hair out. You're going to facepalm so hard it leaves a bruise. You're going to completely lose your entire mind. This is a level of ridiculousness you can't put into proper words. You swear you can feel your hair graying.

RR: In my defense, his eye was already fucked something fierce. A strong breeze would've popped it.

CM: ...that doesnt make it better!... ...did you at least pay for him?...

RR: Of course I did. I'm not that big of an asshole.

RR: I planned on taking him with me so he wouldn't murder everyone when he woke up.

CM: ...they were going to release him to you???... ... did you tell them that youre the reason he had to be there?!...

RR: I lied and said he's my kismesis.

CM: ...oh my god... ...this is unbelievable...

CM: ...and why did you think he would kill everyone in the clinic when he woke up?...

RR: You gotta promise me you'll believe me. I swear on my life I'm telling you the truth.

CM: ...?...

RR: He's a werewolf.

... What. The fuck. He's a werewolf. He's a werewolf!? She can't possibly be serious. There's no way she expects you to believe that. This whole conversation is a trainwreck that won't stop piling up.

You have to walk away. You need some air and something to drink. You step around your lusus and walk downstairs to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. Actually, you need more than water. You need a cup of hot tea. Instead of using the kettle on the stove, you heat the water in the microwave and grab a bag of citrus tea to steep.

By the time you go back upstairs, you've gotten yourself together somewhat.

RR: I dunno anything specific, but according to him he can't completely control when he changes and what he does when he transforms.

RR: If he's someplace with a bunch of people around, he'll probably maim and kill them on account of having no control over himself.

RR: I know it sounds like a crock of shit, believe me. If I hadn't seen him turn into the fucking wolf man in the middle of our fight, I wouldn't believe it either.

RR: And you know I wouldn't lie to you. Especially not a stupid fucking lie that sounds this crazy.

RR: Are you still there?

RR: Thiomi, come on. Say something. I promise you I ain't bullshitting!

CM: ...where did you take him?... ...is he with you?...

You're so done with this conversation. You guess you can't entirely fault her for this nonsense looney tunes story. Fighting someone to (somehow???????) make him feel better, hurt him too much, then force him to get medical treatment against his will definitely sounds like an extremely Corali thing to do. She wouldn't be her if she didn't take a sledgehammer to every problem despite her good intentions.

RR: No.

CM: ...s-so where is he?... ...did you s-somehow find his hive?...

RR: Didn't have to. He woke up just fine.

RR: The medicullers couldn't help him much, though. His face is too swollen ta take out his eye, so they referred him to another clinic.

RR: An' I know damn well he ain't gonna go. I figured I already did what I could, an' I ain't gonna follow after him like his moirail or his lusus.

CM: ...i need to think...

CM: ...were continuing this conversation tomorrow...

--chronicallyMousey [CM] gave up trolling resilientRust [RR]--

You log out of trollian before she can message you again, and you put your phone on do not disturb before loudly making a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh and dragging your hands down your face.

You love Corali. God knows you love her to death. You love her like you love Dan and Varoll. But sometimes... You slam down half of your tea, ignoring the burning in your mouth and throat, and get back to work.

Well, at least she had good intentions.

[ase-trollplays]

Bite the Bullet

==> Corali: Talk to your son already

>> You're an idiot. You're a goddamned idiot. She's going to be pissed that you waited this long to tell her everything. You can already hear her yelling at you about how you told her everything was fine when it wasn't.

>> Well, things actually are fine now, more or less. They weren't the last time you two spoke, though. Uuugh, this is going to hurt, but it's getting ridiculous that this much time has passed and Darius is still in the dark. You need to come clean.

-- resilientRust [RR] began trolling grizzlyFictions [GF] -- RR: Hey Dar Bear. What's good with you? GF: hey c<>! 8D GF: im g<><>d! h<>w ab<>ut y<>u? GF: are y<>u still living with mimi and dantli? RR: Nah, I'm back on my own. GF: s<> y<>u're finally c<>ming back t<> y<>ur hive? RR: Sorry kiddo, but I can't ever go back there. GF: why n<>t? RR: I ain't been entirely honest with you. GF: what did y<>u d<> GF: y<>u started drinking again didn't y<>u

>> You can already feel your chest tighten with anxiety. She's pissed. You're also a little offended that she immediately accused you of abandoning your sobriety. Granted, she isn't wrong about that, but you're back on the wagon and have no desire to fall off again.

>> You want to back out, but you know you have to rip off the bandaid and (if nothing else) clear up that accusation.

RR: Just give me a second to start from the beginning. GF: Y<>U DID!! I CAN'T BELIEVE Y<>U!!! RR: Dammit, I said let me explain! RR: A lot of bad shit happened all at once, and I relapsed outta stress! RR: I ain't had a drink since, and I ain't planning on having another ever again. I know I fucked up. Believe me, I know, and I hate that it happened. RR: Just gimme a chance to tell you everything that happened. GF: <>kay i'm listening. RR: Thank you. RR: Everything started about nine perigees ago. RR: Well, I guess closer to half a sweep ago is when things really started. You probably saw the video of me laying that violet out flat at that cafe. RR: Back when I was newly sober.

>> You pause and wait for Darius to say something in response to that. She still wasn't talking to you at that time, and she's never brought it up, but you know she's seen it. There's no way she hasn't, not after that little stunt went viral for a couple of perigees.

>> She says nothing, which you're more than sure is a bad thing.

RR: Thiomi already chewed my ass out about that, and it cost me my job at the wriggler circuit to boot. I didn't quit like I told you. GF: i kn<>w

>> What.

RR: WHAT RR: SINCE WHEN GF: ab<>ut ten perigees ago. i wanted to surprise y<>u at <>ne <>f y<>ur matches, and they t<>ld me y<>u g<>t fired. RR: Y'all knew all this time that I was full a shit and didn't say anything?? GF: i wanted t<> give y<>u a chance t<> tell me y<>urself RR: God dammit. I really cocked that up, huh. RR: I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. We finally just started talking again, and I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. I was scared of losing you again. GF: it's fine RR: Thanks. I wish I could say things get better from here, but they don't. RR: About nine perigees ago, that violet I attacked's matesprit tracked me down and started leaving me threatening notes on my hive. RR: Now you know me, I don't take that shit serious. Anyone who can't threaten me to my face ain't worth my time. So every time I got a note I'd just throw it in the trash. RR: When she didn't get the reaction she wanted, she decided to do something drastic and had Thiomi kidnapped and held hostage for two weeks. GF: <>h my g<>d!! GF: she didn't hurt her did she!? RR: Yeah. She did. Cut her face and her arms real bad.

>> Your chest tightens further, and you clench your fists tight. You'll never forgive yourself for what happened to Thiomi and what could have happened to Varoll had she still been with her when she got abducted. Joclyn could have easily had her killed, and it would have been all your fault.

>> Because you were careless, Thiomi could have been murdered. That thought haunts your mind like a ghoul.

RR: She also bombed my other job and got me fired from there, too. Between losing my fighting job, Thiomi getting kidnapped, then losing my other job RR: I fucking cracked. I reached my limit and fucking cracked. I drank myself stupid for the whole two weeks she was missing. I just wanted all the bad shit to be over. RR: I wanted to run away from it all to somewhere comfortable and familiar and safe, and alcohol gave me that. RR: I probably would have stayed in that place if my friend Arri hadn't checked on me and took everything away. He caught me almost slipping once before, too. GF: s<> what happened when mimi came back? RR: She was pissed as hell at me, and I don't blame her at all. Because of me, she got kidnapped and held hostage, got fucking maimed and dumped in the middle of nowhere, and I didn't try to find her once because I was busy sulking and drinking my stress away. GF: i d<>n't blame her either. i d<>n't kn<>w if I c<>uld f<>rgive y<>u if that was me.

>> That message hits you like an arrow through the heart. Not that you don't consider Thiomi's forgiveness valuable, but if all this happened to your son, and he permanently cuts ties with you as a result, it would have killed you. Losing Thiomi would have devastated you, but losing Darius would absolutely kill you.

GF: h<>w is she d<>ing? RR: Bad. She's scared of being alone, and she feels like an ugly freak because she's all scarred up. RR: And I'm fucking useless. She has more faith in her therapist than me. I'm trying, but I ain't shit when it comes to the emotional part of being a moirail. GF: s<> that's everything y<>u weren't telling me?

>> You suck in a long breath through your teeth, then loud out a loud sigh. Oh, how you wish that was the end of it. Unfortunately...

RR: Sorry kiddo, but it still gets worse. GF: are y<>u seri<>us??? GF: h<>w c<>uld it be even w<>rse!? RR: I went looking for the woman who hurt Thiomi. I wanted to kidnap her and cut her up just like she did to Thiomi, then kill her. The bitch sent me a video of her slicing her up, and all I could think about was skinning her alive. RR: But she's a slippery bitch, and finding her was almost impossible. She covered herself up in the video so I had no clue what she looked like. All I had to go on was her voice. RR: Eventually, I found her completely by accident. I was about to head back to my hive when I heard her arguing with her matesprit. RR: Long story short, I chased her through the whole damn city on a rampage and almost killed her mate when he tried to stop me. She called for backup, and my robotic arm got destroyed, and I got laid out. RR: Thank god Dan and Thiomi found me before legislacerators did. Turns out her matesprit's a fleet officer. He didn't press charges when I punched him out the first time, but he wasn't gonna save my ass this time. GF: s<> y<>u had t<> g<> int<> hiding. RR: Yup. Technically, I'm still in hiding. I can't go back to my hive again, and neither can anyone else who knows me or they ain't safe. RR: Dan's off the radar enough that he was able to get some of my stuff by pretending he was looting the place. GF: s<> that's the real reas<>n y<>u changed y<>ur handle. RR: Yeah. Thiomi has a friend who was able to get me an empire-untrackable phone. GF: s<> where are y<>u at n<>w? RR: I'm living in a hivestem in a lowblood slum off the map. Ain't no fleet, cop, or empire trolls here. I got a new arm even better than the old on. I even got a job as a bouncer at a club. My little rampage impressed the boss, so she reached out. GF: s<> things are <>kay n<>w? RR: So far, so good. GF: why didn't y<>u tell me any <>f this bef<>re n<>w? RR: I was scared, Dar. RR: I was scared you'd be fed up with my shit and leave me for good. I was scared you'd get dragged into everything and get hurt. I thought I was keeping you safe by not telling you anything. RR: And I'm sorry. I'm so goddamn sorry it took me this long to tell you everything. RR: Can you find it in you to gimme another chance? No more secrets, I swear. GF: <>kay GF: but n<> m<>re secrets. if s<>mething happens i want y<>u t<> tell me n<> matter h<>w bad it is. pr<>mise? RR: On my life. GF: and n<> m<>re rampages RR: Hah! Don't you worry. I'm done with that shit.

>> You breathe a massive sigh of relief. You don't deserve her. You don't deserve Thiomi, either. They're way too patient for your dumb ass.