#resanoona

[seatsbythepit]

I love this so much! Stella would absolutely not be phased by the reader's mood, understanding completely the challenges of trusting new people. I am so here for Severide!Daughter and all that entails with Stellaride 😭🥺

she's alright, i guess

Pairing: Stellaride x SeverideDaughter!Reader

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: Y/N hasn’t been very welcoming towards having Stella in their lives, but when she’s faced with a situation, Stella proves to Y/N that she’s in her corner.

Word Count: 2.2K+

Tags/Warnings: Dad!Kelly, mentions of attempted assault, single parent, victim shaming

A/N: This is a different kind of request/fic from what I've written for OC so far but I was pretty intrigued by it so I decided to give it a go. Not opening requests for daughter fics at the moment still because I’m not sure how this turned out yet so let me know what you guys think!

STELLARIDE MASTERLIST

You looked up from where you’d been playing with the food on your plate, only to catch Stella smile at your father who was sitting next to you.

Resisting the urge to make a face, you turned to look at him. “Can I be excused?”

Kelly gave a small sigh and turned to look at you, looking like he wanted to say something and then deciding against it, merely nodding. “Yeah, go on.”

You gave his girlfriend a last withering look before you took your plate back into the kitchen.

Kelly suppressed an audible sigh before he looked back at Stella. “Sorry.”

Stella smiled and shook her head. “She just needs some time.”

You rolled your eyes and headed back to your room, plopping yourself down on your bed and staring up at your ceiling.

It wasn’t really that you didn’t like Stella. Hell, you’d been okay with her before you found out she was dating your father.

As far as daughters went, you were sure that you were at least three times more protective over your father than your classmates were about their own parents.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you only ever had Kelly growing up. You’d overheard countless discussions about people telling him that it was hard being a single parent especially with his job but whatever anyone said, and however Kelly had felt from the first time he’d found out he’d had a daughter and come to get you, Kelly had stuck it out with you.

Over the years, especially once you were older, you’d seen many girlfriends come and go - some didn’t want commitment, some ran the moment they found out about you, some just… didn’t make it. It didn’t matter that Kelly had seemed fine with everything. You were not, so all that had done was make you even more protective over him.

So when you’d found out about Stella, you’d felt your hackles raise.

Logically, you knew Stella had done nothing to deserve this but your 15 year old brain couldn’t seem to override the emotion with logic.

You lay there for a while more until there was a knock on your door and Kelly poked his head in.

“Hey kiddo. Can we talk?”

You sat up but didn’t give him an answer because you knew very well what he wanted to talk about and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear it.

Kelly came in anyway, pulling out the chair at your desk and sitting across from you.

“Will you give Stella a break?”

You looked up with a look of protest and Kelly held up a hand.

“I know.” Kelly said in a low voice, giving you a small smile to show you he wasn’t mad. “Just lighten up a little and give her a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You didn’t say anything but Kelly let out a chuckle as you pursed your lips. “Go easy.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before patting your hair affectionately and leaving the room.

You pulled your jacket tighter around you, glancing behind you.

You hadn’t meant to let it get so late but you’d gotten a little too immersed in your notes and lost track of time. Other than the wind blowing against your back and making you shiver, you hadn’t realized how quiet the road from your friend’s house was.

You kind of regretted not calling Kelly to come and get you, but you also didn’t relish the idea of waiting here so you’d forged on, telling yourself you’d walked this street thousands of times.

But now, you were pretty sure someone was following you, hearing the echoing footsteps behind you.

Damn it.

Your hands that were jammed into your pockets closed around your phone but you were also worried things would escalate so you picked up your pace instead.

You heard the footsteps behind you match the increase in your speed and just as you thought you should break into a run, you were yanked backwards and unable to maintain your balance, you tumbled onto the concrete pavement, feeling the concrete scrape against your skin.

Your head snapped upwards, feeling your heart fall straight into your gut when you looked back into the face of the man that now towered over you.

It was a stranger, not a face you remembered seeing, but his lips ticked upwards in a smile that flipped your stomach over and your gut feeling as well as every nerve in your body was screaming at you to get up and run.

Flight.

You scrambled to your feet, slowly moving backwards as he now stepped towards you. His movements had slowed, like a predator that had just cornered his prey.

He took another step towards you and with well chosen timing, you brought your knee up swiftly, just like how Kelly had taught you.

Winded, the man bent over but not before letting out a growl.

You didn’t stick around long enough to find out what he had to say, your legs already moving before your brain realized you were running.

The wind blowing against you was painful but you didn’t dare stop because you weren’t sure if he was on your heels.

You turned the corner, sparing a glance back and collided straight into someone.

“Sorry.” You panted, glancing up.

“Y/N?” Stella looked surprised to see you before her expression switched to one of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Stella glanced up at the empty street behind you and then looked back at you. “You okay?”

You really didn’t have the energy for anything else. You just really needed an adult. You glanced up at her without talking and Stella reached for your hand.

When you didn’t pull away, Stella squeezed. “Do you want me to take you home?”

You shook your head quickly. “No. Wait. I just… I don’t want Dad to see me like this.”

Stella studied you for just a second more before she nodded. “My apartment’s just around the corner. Why don’t you come and have something at my place and we can talk? If you want to.”

You hesitated for just a second but you were still kind of spooked so you nodded, letting her lead you back down from where she came from, not even realizing your hand was still in hers.

Stella wasn’t exaggerating when she said her apartment was around the corner.

Within five minutes, you were seated on Stella’s couch, a cup of hot tea in your hands while you found yourself telling her what happened.

It was weird - you’d expected Stella to maybe pat your shoulders a little to reassure you that things would be fine before trying to convince you to call Kelly so he could come and get you. She wouldn't be the first girlfriend to hand you back over to your father as soon as she could.

But the emotions on Stella’s face as you told her were new to you - looks of concern, before outrage and then… if you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was upset.

You fell quiet after a while and Stella scooted a little closer to you.

“Alright, Y/N, listen.” Stella said and you looked up at her. “We have to report this.”

You looked back down again, your index fingers twirling together even though you were still holding the mug.

“I’ll come with you.” Stella paused. “If you’ll let me.”

You looked up again and nodded quietly. "You… You’d do that?”

You registered a look of surprise on Stella’s face before she next spoke. “Of course, Y/N.”

“Can we not call my dad yet?”

There was a small silence and you held back a sigh. You knew what would happen if your father found out about this. Other than the fact that you hated making him worry and that you knew things might get blown up out of proportion with practically everyone getting involved, it was kind of awkward talking to him about some stuff.

Stella glanced at you. “How about we take things one step at a time?”

You bit your lip and Stella nodded encouragingly at you. “Let’s go to the district and then when you’re ready, we can call Kelly alright?”

You nodded quietly, taking another sip of tea before Stella smiled. “Ready?”

You got up and Stella grabbed an extra coat off her coat hanger, draping it around your shoulders.

Stella had been told to wait outside while you gave your statement to the uniformed police officer sitting across from you but you were regretting this with each question the officer asked you.

“What were you doing out so late?”

“Is this what you normally wear to school?

You were done with the insinuations in his voice and tone. You were 15, not an idiot. You knew exactly where this was going and you’d been around your father’s friends long enough to pick some stuff up.

You stood all of a sudden, the nails digging into your palms in an effort not to let the angry tears out. “I’m not answering any more questions.”

“What do you…”

You didn’t let him finish his sentence, opening the door and stalking out.

As promised, Stella was right outside, glancing up as you walked out, reading the expression on your face instantly.

“You okay?”

You pulled Stella’s jacket tighter around yourself. “I just want to go home.”

Stella frowned, glancing up at the officer that was now outside the room as well. “You still have to answer a few questions. You can’t just…”

You didn’t move and Stella looked back down at you. “Y/N?”

“He hasn’t asked me a single question about what happened.” You said in a low voice, focusing only on Stella now. “No questions about how the man looked, what street this took place on, how he sounded.”

Stella frowned. Those were enough for her to put together a few pieces of the puzzle.

“Those are necessary questions. We need to know if…”

“Kidd. Y/N.”

You glanced up at a familiar face and Stella patted your back. “Told you I got you.” She whispered in a low voice so only you could hear.

Stella nodded with a smile at Hailey.

Telling the officer she’d take over, Hailey led you back into the room and smiled encouragingly at you.

“Stella called me. Will you tell me what happened?”

It was easier than you’d expected to talk to Hailey but even as you told her what happen, you found yourself internally steeling yourself for a lecture of some sort and you suddenly just really wished Kelly was here.

But Hailey offered no lecture or talking-to. Instead, she treated you like an adult, taking down the information you offered, her questions only revolving around important information she obviously needed, before she closed the book.

“Thank you, Y/N. Here.” Hailey handed you a small bottle and a small device. “Pepper spray and a small panic button.”

You looked up a little surprised and Hailey smiled. “If nothing, maybe it’ll help you feel safer.”

You nodded, keeping the things she handed you and Hailey came around and squeezed your shoulder before taking you out of the room again where Stella was waiting.

“Dad must be worried, I…”

Stella shook her head with a smile. “I told him you’re with me so he wouldn’t. I can call him if you’re ready.”

You felt involuntary tears well up in your eyes before you nodded. "Can you? I... I think I really need him."

Kelly was here in record time, running up the steps of the district as if he’d been waiting nearby in the first place but you didn’t care. The rush of relief and safety when you saw him made you wonder why you hadn’t gone to him immediately anyway.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t say anything, merely shooting off your seat to dive into your father’s arms like you were a child once again.

“You okay? Let me see.” Kelly pulled away just a little to look at you but other than remnants of the startled look in your eyes and new tears ready to spill over, you weren’t really hurt.

Kelly gently pulled you back into his arms and exhaled. “Thank god.”

He was never one for long verbal communications of how much he loved you but you didn’t really need him to tell you. This was even more apparent now as you were huddled in your father’s arms in the middle of a police district.

“You must be starving.” Kelly said after a while, looking down at you to wipe a stray tear off your face. “Why don’t we go get something to eat, hmm?”

You gave a small crooked smile and Kelly looked up, meeting Stella’s eyes.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Kelly said with a small apologetic smile at Stella. “Thank you.”

Stella nodded, but you interrupted them. “You’re not coming to eat with us?”

Kelly raised his eyebrows.

“Thought I’d give you two some private time.” Stella said, although she seemed to be weighing the look in your eyes now.

You shrugged. “You can come eat with us, too.”

Kelly glanced between his girlfriend and daughter. “Did something happen?”

You shrugged, lowering your voice. “She’s alright I guess.”

Kelly chuckled, swinging an arm around your shoulders as he led you out of the district. Stella fell into step on your other side and you smiled up at her. “Thank you.” You whispered, fully aware your father could hear you.

Stella smiled. “Thank you, too.”

Kelly just smiled at both his girls as the three of you walked down the empty streets. Together.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[valentinajadehill]

one chicago masterlist

jay, adam, kevin

admirer central o

adam ruzek

memory lane o

jay halstead

crossing lines o

jealousy jealousy o

leap of faith o

showtime part one, part two, part three

only mine o

back off o

bullpen chatter o

work related encounters o

jesse lee soffer

new romance o

closer than most o

connor rhodes

come back to me o

ethan choi

secret relationship o

attention o

nerf gun war o

the toothbrush o

antonio dawson

hug me o

nurse dawson at your service o

i tried to help o

fight me o

strip

will halstead

medicinal purposes o

kelly severide

resanoona masterlist

give into you o

second chances part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

the way home masterlist

[hereforhalstead]

Before a night out with Jay would include:

GIF NOT MINE, FULL CREDITS TO THE OWNER

Requested?: Nope!

Warnings: N/A

Let me know if you want the next part of what happens when you’re on the night out, enjoy!

*****

- was it even a night out if you didn’t spend the whole day dwelling on what you were going to wear?

- you’d grab a simple black dress out of the closet, staring at your reflection in the mirror as all of your insecurities scream back at you

- Jay would run a hand along your back effortlessly as he walks past, unaware of your inner demons rattling through your head

- ‘look at you’ he mumbles, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck before grabbing a towel and tossing it over his shoulder

- you force a smile, watching as he circles back to you. His hand falling to innately rest on your hips as he pulls your hair to one side, exposing your shoulder for him to drop a soft kiss to your skin

- ‘what’s going on?‘ he didn’t expect an answer, just continued to reassure and plant delicate kisses along your arm to hope you see yourself the way he sees you

- ‘get in the shower, we’re gonna be late’ you lightly push back against his chest, feeling it vibrate in a huff of laughter as he presses one last kiss just below your ear, letting it linger slightly as he inhales your fresh scent

- ‘yes ma’am’ he marches off ‘can always join me if you want?’ He throws you a wink that you chuckle and roll your eyes at before tossing the towel at him that he had thrown on the bed just a few moments earlier

- you stood in the kitchen, anxiously tapping your foot as you sipped on your drink, you hated to be late and Jay always kept it close to the mark

- ‘waiting for you’ he remarks, smirk pulling on his lips as he tugs his jacket from the hook

- ‘you’re worse than a woman, Jay’ you throw the rest of your drink down the sink before joining him by the door, putting the last minute essentials in your bag

- he opens the door, ushering for you to exit first and then locking up. Naturally slinging his arm over your shoulders as he hums in amusement ‘gotta look good for my girl’

****

TAG LIST

@musicismyescape27 • @i-like-sparkly-things • @stephanie708 • @upsteadlovingheart • @nevaehstreater18 • @kellykidd • @secondaryjob • @youngblood199456 • @soph0864 • @13shadesofanni i • @shikshinkwon • @mrspeacem1nusone • @slytherinambitious • @loki-halstead • @morganupstead • @moni-serrano11 • @sophiatellerrhodes • @dedlund82 • @jay-girl-stilnski ski • @jaiboomer11 • @euphoria257 • @lolalee24 • @vamp-army • @lookatme-23 • @lucyysthings • @ephemeral3 • @waywardhunter95 • @panaitbeatrice • @atarmychick007 • @drakelover78 • @resanoona •

[sheetsonfire]

Free Will

Fandom: Chicago Med

Pairing: Will Halstead x Reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, romance

Word Count: 6462

Summary: Will makes a decision that throws everything the reader thought they knew into question. Where will the road take them?

A/N: This is part of @resanoona's #resa.3kfiestabingo! I'm using this fic to fill the "Hurt Feelings" square! Thank you so much @resanoona for reading, suggesting and correcting my tired ramblings!

I'm so sorry it took me literally two weeks to get this fic done, but hopefully, the size makes up for it! Happy reading!

-

Sometimes it’s easy to convince yourself of something until reality so starkly and irrefutably proves otherwise. So the night you see Will kissing Nina Shore from pathology, in the middle of Molly’s, it hurts possibly more than you thought it could.

-

There had never been an official relationship between you and Will, but the both of you had become closer of late - a shared routine, the hangouts on off-days, the conversations you would share in quiet moments on shift, and the post-work drinks at various bars around the city had started to feel a lot like dating.

A year’s worth of getting to know each other beyond colleagues and now you weren't sure what you had to show for it.

You weren’t naive to the fact that a close friendship could be just that and nothing more. In some ways, you were okay with its platonic nature, yet Will always looked at you with such intensity and interest that you could have sworn it to be something else.

In fact, that night at Molly’s Bar was going to be the night. After multiple consultations with Maggie, April and even Connor who had chipped in with his encouragement, you felt ready to ask Will whether there was actually a chance of more.

Sometimes you considered asking Jay, Will’s brother, for his input on the situation but you were always afraid of the answer. There was always the possibility that Jay could tell Will and you hadn’t been ready for that complication either.

-

So, you were in the bar, wandering off from the large gathering of Med, Fire and PD friends, who had pushed tables together. They were well into their merriment of earned rest and you had decided it was time to visit Herrmann at the bar - liquid courage was definitely needed for what was coming next.

You smile brightly at the older man who gives you a wink, grinning at the sight of your familiar and friendly face. You were happy to wait patiently for him to be free to serve you, he had always been a source of wisdom and encouragement for you - one of the kindest people you knew.

Eventually, Chris makes it to you, a bar towel slung over his shoulder, “What’s up, Y/N, what can I get ya?” He waits for an answer, tilting his head curiously as you smile sheepishly. You're tapping your fingers on the counter as you measure your words.

“Hey Chris, can I get whatever will get me buzzed the fastest?”

Chris laughs, nodding, “Sure, Y/N, can I ask why?”

You knew that question was coming, and you cleared your throat.

Feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks, casting a brief look back at the table where everybody was sitting, laughing and engrossed in different conversations. You could see Nina shimmying her way around Connor to sit where you had sat next to Will.

Watching the scene with a jolt of irritation, you see her pressing up close to him. The conversation already seems intimate, and you can’t look away. Only brought back by Herrmann’s gentle call of your name.

“Sorry, Herrmann…Um, I was going to, uh, ask Will something important, I need something to quieten the nerves before I chicken out.” The words come out, but you can already feel your mind changing direction, the urge to abort the plan was growing fast.

Herrmann nods, holding his hands up in understanding, “Say no more. Good luck to you, kiddo.” Grinning as he pours you a few shots, he always was a champion for the romantic.

You hold out the shots to Chris in a ‘cheers’ gesture before knocking them back one after the other, feeling the liquid burn as it makes its way down your throat, a heat beginning to thrum in your veins. This was exactly what you needed, for better or for worse.

-

With the shots down and the confidence blooming in your chest, you say your farewell to Chris and start to shimmy through the crowd back to your table. You’re just passing where Matt Casey and Kelly Severide are sitting when your eyes lock onto an unwanted sight ahead of you.

Nina’s arm is looped snugly around Will’s waist, and he is the same in kind. You watch as he leans down to listen to something she’s saying, concentrating on her words over the hubbub of the bar, it makes him turn to smile at her.

From your position, you can even see the mischievous twinkle in Will’s eyes, and like a slow-mo car crash you feel your stomach drop as Nina leans up and Will leans into a kiss.

You’re frozen. Your trance was only broken by Casey’s concerned call of your name.

You blink, willing yourself away from the sight of your best friend making out with someone else. Turning to see Matt and Kelly watching you carefully like you were going to disintegrate at any moment.

“You alright, Y/N?” Kelly asks, standing from his chair to move closer to you.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and the full rush of embarrassment threatens to consume you, even if nobody else knew what you were thinking or how you felt. You felt transparent.

Eventually, you bring yourself to answer the firefighters, pushing a smile onto your face. “Yeah, I’m good, guys. Sorry, I just remembered I’m late for something else. Tell the others I’m sorry I had to go?” You ask hopefully, not at all in the mood to show your face again at your corner of the large gathering.

They nod, wishing you a good evening, and telling you to be safe. To which you nod back, reassuring them that you would be fine and that you would see them soon. 

Ducking your head as you turn around toward the door out of Molly’s, offering Herrmann a half-hearted smile as he watches you leave, feeling sad that he would know your plan had gone awry.

Then, you were gone.

-

Unbeknownst to you, Will had not been pleased when he discovered your absence through Casey and Severide. It wasn't annoyance, but rather concern.

He got a sinking feeling when he found out you’d gone home, in the back of his mind he started to worry that you’d seen the kiss between him and Nina. On paper, he had no reason to fear that possibility, and yet it nagged at him.

You'd never expressed an interest in Will, and he had been desperate to not be too forward with you, he never wanted to give you the impression that you were a rebound or a distraction after Natalie.

If pressed, he would admit that his thoughts on being with Nina weren’t the soundest or most logical, yet he didn’t know what else to do. With Nina there was something to the dynamic that never got too deep, it never scared Will as it did when he thought about having something with you. 

He knows it’s not fair to you or Nina to think that way, yet here he was. There was too much to lose by asking to date you, your friendship was cherished by him and it had to be protected.

Will messages later that night, asking if everything was okay. He wasn’t sure if you would answer at all, but the “Yeah, all good. Just forget I had something I needed to do. See you Monday!” went some way to quiet his worry.

Even if the seeds of doubt continued to grow.

-

[5 Months Later]

It had been an extra layer of sucky when you discovered Will was not only dating Nina but also moving in with her. Ever since that night at Molly’s, you had done your resolute best to act normal, to not freeze Will out or feel resentful.

He had asked a few times if something was wrong or if something had happened, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth - what point would there be to hearing him tell you he wasn’t interested in you like that? It was easier to play it as cool as you could, being happy for Will like a good friend should. 

Being invited to the housewarming was a real test of your resolve, however.

-

It was gone 7am at Med, the 7:30 shift was due to start rolling in at any moment, and you were wrapping up your patient notes from the night before.

Maggie was hovering beside you, she had come to investigate whether you were going to the Halstead-Shore housewarming, to which you’d pulled a face and she understood.

“Did you ever ask him if it was something more?” Maggie asks cautiously, trying to help you not feel so utterly rejected by someone who apparently didn’t even know they were rejecting you.

“No…I didn’t…but, oh Maggie, I’m still in shock at how I’ve got this so wrong.”

“Honey, you’re not an idiot, there must have been something there, alright? That man is like a brother to me, and I more than know his capability to charm. I've been trying to steer him right for years, but his dating game and communication skills aren’t always to the standard of his doctoring finesse.” Maggie smiles sympathetically, wrapping an arm around you with a small squeeze.

The charge nurse had offered to intervene a few times, but you didn't think it was fair to drop that on Will just because you didn't want someone else to have him.

You sigh, resting your head on her shoulder. Watching discreetly from behind the pillar at the nurses' station, Will passes Nina her coffee and kisses her cheek, no doubt promising to share lunch with her later.

You resist the juvenile urge to make a gagging sound and gesture with your fingers in your mouth.

Then, Will turns to move in the direction of the nurses’ station to get to the on-call room. You hastily disperse from Maggie’s comforting embrace and busy yourself with a computer, pulling up your last patient’s records, scrutinising them as if your life depended on it.

Breath held, eyes downcast, you dare not look as you feel Will’s approach, his fiery copper hair visible from the corner of your eye.

You type some sporadic notes at the bottom of your patient’s file, making a mental note to yourself that under no circumstances would you save the incoherent spiel once you were done avoiding the redhead.

Yet, there’s no such passing of the moment, Will makes a direct approach to you, a smile on his face as he watches you “concentrate.” His palm is warm on your back as he greets you, a cheerful tone to salt your wounds, “Good mornin’, Y/N.” 

There’s a battle within to avoid sighing too loudly, you search for composure as you lift your head with a painted smile. “Morning, Will.”

“You’re here early?” Will queries, apparently convinced by your performance. 

“Late, actually. I got called in to cover a shift, now my cover is a no-show, so now I’m taking my one.” Will frowns with a nod, knowing what was coming next.

He hadn’t been totally oblivious to the change in your mood lately, he just wished you’d get mad or say something, the silence was worse.

The more time passed, the more the sense of a moment missed weighed on him. He wished he could have put aside his fear and come right out and said “I love you!” all those months ago, but then after that night at Molly’s things had taken an altogether different turn.

With Dr Shore it was different, she had been a friend and a colleague too, but if Will was being honest, he knew it didn't ground him or scare him like his relationship with you did.

Between him and Nina, they understood the casual and mutually beneficial nature of being together, of sharing an apartment, and they had both agreed that they would take it as easy as possible.

You grimace, looking for absolution. “I’m really sorry, Will, I won’t be able to make it for your housewarming, I’m gonna need some shut-eye once this day is over.”

It’s the best excuse to not go to your nice new place and watch you be domestic and loved up with someone who isn’t me. You think to yourself, smiling apologetically. 

“It’s alright, Y/N, it can’t be helped, we’ll miss you though.” He smiles too, a sadness settles in his eyes and you do feel a slight pang of guilt. It was for the best though, you decided.

He could spend the evening with his girlfriend and enjoy himself, and you could be spared from that. Your eyes struggle to steel themselves into an expression of unbothered and normal, Will catches a flash of it.

He squeezes your shoulder, trying to ignore the mantra of his own internal voice, the one that told him he had a mistake with you and, consequently, a mistake with Nina.

He couldn’t afford to think that now, not even if he wanted to.

“I better, you know…” He gestures to the on-call room, needing to put his stuff away and change into scrubs.

“Of course, yeah, you go ahead. See you in a bit.” You shoo him away, watching with a gnawing sensation in your gut. You couldn’t avoid this forever, you would have to face it head-on at some point.

-

However, as cruel fate would have it, as it often does, your replacement chose that moment to announce themselves. Dr Kumari had resolved their engine troubles with the help of a passerby, so here they were to relieve you of your double shift. 

You had tried to somehow find a way to prevent Will from finding out, but that was impossible as soon as Dr Kumari had made themselves known and he had seen you with your coat and bag. 

“Oh sweet, that’s great. Get some rest and we’ll see you later?” Will asks, hopefulness renewed. Maggie glances at you from across the nurses’ station, that sympathetic look was back as she offered an encouraging thumbs up.

You wanted so badly to find another way of squirming out of the obligation, but you weren’t looking to be an utter asshole to Will, he clearly valued your presence at this housewarming and, after all, you were still friends. 

“Yeah, for sure! See you later, 7pm right?” You check, ignoring the cold thrum of anxiety that had started to tingle in your veins. 

“Yep, 7pm, let me know if you get stuck finding us, our street is a little weird.” Will smiled, Cinderella could go to the ball and Will was elated to hear it. 

You nod in acknowledgement of what he was saying, saying one more goodbye before turning towards the exit, letting yourself walk a considerable way out of Will’s eye line before exhaling defeatedly.

Now you’d need to buy some wine or a plant.

-

Despite your reluctance to even go to the housewarming, you had meandered into an ‘oddities and thrift’ store on your way home and found some gifts for Will and Nina. The store’s name ‘The Past and The Curious: Chicago Thrift’ had totally tickled you.

After being in danger of spending a whole shift’s worth of time in the three-storey building full of trinkets and history, you had stumbled across a few items that you thought would be cool to give them. 

One was an old 50s dartboard that had both a traditional format on one side and a baseball format on the other; you knew that Will enjoyed a game of darts, and you were pretty sure you’d seen Nina outdoing a fair few colleagues at the bar on several occasions.

As an extra, you had found a vintage Cubs pennant you thought would make for good decor.  Satisfied with your treasures you settle up with the elderly woman who sat at a counter that looked like something out of the Wild West.

-

Letting yourself into your apartment, you’re grateful to take off your layers of cold-weather clothing, placing your items on the kitchen table where you could arrange them in a gift bag later. For now, you are ready to eat, nap and then take a shower. 

However, once you’d had some soup and put on your comfy clothes, the initial excitement over your purchases started to fade. As you roll over in bed, eyeing the red numbers displaying 11am, you feel the knots in your stomach ache in the background.

Exhaling frustratedly you shift again under the covers, desperate to find slumber in the plumpness of your pillows. 

-

It’s Jay that answers the door at Will’s new apartment, apparently, he had taken on the role of security but also cloakroom clerk. Offering to hang up your jacket, take your gift bag and find you a drink.

“How’s it going, Y/N?” Jay asks casually. 

With a swallow of the urge to spill your lovesickness to him, you smile, “All good, thanks, Jay. How about you?”

Jay lets out a small laugh, one that seems full of knowledge and scepticism with regard to your answer. “I’m good, Y/N, business as usual for me.” Jay doesn’t say anything else, but he’s looking at you differently, speaking without saying a damn thing. 

You sometimes hated that Halstead smugness, it was clearly a genetic trait both boys shared. You were now sure he knew something about this whole debacle, but you didn’t know what.

You follow Jay through the small hallway into the front room where familiar faces are already gathered in different pockets of conversation. You spot Maggie and Sharon on the couches, with Will and Nina hovering nearby, and you spot Connor in the process of joining their group.

Jay sidles up to you with an extra beer in hand, seemingly getting it from thin air as he nods in Will’s direction.

The detective takes a sip of his own drink, again with that glint in his eye that makes you want to push him into the obnoxiously large cactus in the corner of the room. “Are you gonna say hey, or are we keeping a safe distance for the evening?” 

You glance at Jay, a glare flashes across your features, settling into a frown and a half smile. You could tell Jay, for all his teasing, was actually looking out for you. He must definitely know how you feel about his brother.

A sigh escapes you, taking a swig of your beer. “Who told you, and why?” You ask, slightly disappointed that Maggie might have spilt to Jay of all people.

Jay chuckles softly, patting your shoulder. “Y/N, I got eyes. I see how you look at my pain in the ass, romantically challenged, brother.”

You’re about to say something when Jay continues, his face a little more sympathetic, maybe even sad, as he speaks. “And I saw you that night when they started canoodling, you looked pretty damn crushed. I had had my suspicions before then, but that night I knew. I wanted so badly to smack that idiot upside the head, but I didn’t know how you wanted to play it out. So I left it, and I want to apologise for not saying anything, but I figured you’d do what you wanted to do.” Jay shrugs, a grimace as he waits for your reaction, taking another swig to distract from the brief silence between you.

“Jay…” You start, your heart racing, and you half expect yourself to start crying but your brain protects you in front of all the people that could spot you break down. Surprising yourself as you remain composed. 

“First and foremost, I’m not upset with you, why would I be? You didn’t know what I was thinking, and I had no idea you even knew as much as you do… I figured I’d let it be, who am I to stop him from doing what he wants? He seems happy, and we were long friends before we could be anything else, I don’t want to lose that.”

He nods, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a comforting squeeze. 

Jay is ready to continue, “Listen, I know he’s off with Nina, but you should know-” But Will’s voice bursts your private bubble and you almost jump out of your skin. 

“Jay, you can’t use her as a shield from socialising with everyone.” Will approaches with a big smile, clearly glad to see you’d not abandoned ship at the last moment. 

“Sorry, brother, just didn’t want you to bore her to death with the speech about where you got that cactus and the guy you got it from.” Jay grins, and Will rolls his eyes, steering you away from his brother towards Nina, Sharon and April.

You half-heartedly wave ‘bye’ to Jay, feeling the uptick in your nerves as Will’s hand stays on your back. “Glad you made it, Y/N, thanks for coming.” Your neck tingles with the softness in Will’s tone. 

“Of course, Will, you got it.” You smile, internally cringing at your chipper tone. Your stomach flip flops at the slight brush of Will’s thumb on your back as he lets go, arriving at a stop next to Nina as you greet everyone.

-

The evening continues without incident, you find yourself enjoying it more than you thought you would. Nina turns out to be a good cook, having made a good proportion of the nibbles and snacks on offer from scratch. You even manage to have a few conversations with her, without feeling like you were suffocating under the secret you kept to your chest.

-

Will had kept a subtle eye on you throughout too, you had caught him a few times looking in your direction but for the most part, you weren’t tuned in to the way he worried about whether you were having a good time or not. 

He also hadn’t missed the way you and Jay were talking earlier, he was itching to know what you were discussing but he didn���t want to intrude - the thought crossed his mind to pry it from Jay at a later date, which wouldn’t be easy.

Will was happy to have his friends around, and he really did think Nina was a great person, yet he couldn’t shake the gnawing wrongness in his stomach - the best way he could describe the sensation was “cold feet”. He sighs, refilling the ice box in the kitchen as he idly listens to the hubbub and music in the lounge, tuning in to the call of his brother requesting he hurries up in the kitchen 

-

You’re sitting on a dining chair near the couch, next to Maggie as she squeezes you. You nod to reassure her that you were doing good, smiling as she keeps a comforting hold on your arm.

Nina and Jay stand at the front of the gathering, a natural aisle down the middle had formed to allow Will back into the room and to the ‘centre stage’. 

Will sets down the ice bucket back on the refreshments table and faces his friends who are still chattering to each other, waiting for the speech to be made, a blush on his cheeks as Nina clanks her glass.

Will catches your eye for just a split second, you take a swig of your second drink of the night, a smile and a small silent cheers gesture to him before you look away and focus on something else.

Nina smiles brightly at the hush as she begins to speak, “Hey everybody. Um, thank you so much for coming. Celebrating with the people who know me and Will best, it means a lot…”

That was strike one for you, your stomach tensed in readiness for what else Nina was going to say.

“...But there is something that most of you may not know about Will. He’s still got a lot of Med School debt, but he paid part of his way through it by singing at Irish weddings.” 

There’s a gasp in the crowd, a titter of excitement as Jay picks up Will’s guitar. You and Maggie look at each other, and Maggie is grinning, eyebrows raised in excitement. Neither of you knew you were getting food and a show tonight. 

“What?” You hear Will exclaim, and you snorted as you took another swig of your drink. This was going to be good.

Ah, that was right. He’d left his guitar out earlier, forgetting to put it back in the case and stow it away. 

He was going to kill Jay.

Will half-heartedly protests, but Jay thrusts the instrument at his brother with that same shit-eating grin you’d seen many a time before, along with a quip about needing to pay rent.

Sharon even pipes up, and it’s sweet to see Will almost immediately agree. Like a mother asking her son to play, he wasn’t going to be the one to decline now. Only further encouraged by Nina and the cheer of the group in front of him, including you, he takes the guitar in his hands.

The hush from before settles around the room, listening intently as Will begins to sing and play the strings beneath his fingers.

“Baby

It's been a long day, baby

Things ain't been going my way

You know I need you here

To ease my mind

All the time”

At first, you’re stifling your giggles of excitement, because Will had a great voice that you’d never heard before. Not only that, but you knew Will would totally smack Jay upside the head for making him play in front of everyone, and it tickled you to no end.

“And baby

The way you move me, it's crazy

It's like you see right through me

And make it easier

You please me, you don't even have to try”

However, with that excitement came the deepest urge to cry. An urge that you smothered by drinking your beer and squeezing the napkin you had in your other hand in a vice grip. Maggie’s grip on you had tightened too.

Jay was watching his brother, and that glint of pride in his eyes wasn’t hard to miss, despite Jay’s hesitation on the whole moving-in situation, he didn’t want to butt in on Will’s life, Will seemed to be happy. 

You watched the man you admired and loved play with ease, his voice was somehow soothing and shattering as you watched Nina look at him the way you do when he isn’t paying attention.

A tidal wave of emotions that you’d managed to suppress since that night at Molly’s came crashing over you with each word of the song, feeling your heart stutter wildly as Will’s eyes focus briefly on yours.

You can’t look away, not even if you wanted to, the tears that you had so doggedly fought against now spilt silently over and down your cheeks. Quickly wiping them away lest somebody, that wasn’t Maggie or Will, notice.

“Oh, because

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me”

Will’s eyes glisten too, his heart thundering in his eyes as he plays on autopilot for the rest of the song. In the surreal moment of everyone else’s joy, the doting look on Nina’s face, he is crushed to see the look of grief on yours.

Listening to his head and his heart, louder and clearer than he had in all those times of fear and doubt, Will knows now without question he’s made a mistake. A mistake that will certainly hurt Nina going forward, but there’s also a mistake that’s already hurt you. 

The latter is something that Will can’t live with.

-

It feels like an eternity as you try to calmly get up from your seat next to Maggie, hushed murmurs between the both of you as you quickly and quietly tell her that you need to get going. She can see the anguish on your face enough to not try and convince you to stay, offering a sad smile and an encouraging squeeze as she promises to text later.

You dare not glance back at Will, only offering a polite smile and nod to Jay as you squeeze past him between the clusters of people who had resumed their chattering and merriment. He doesn’t push now, the teasing at the start of this evening now makes him feel somewhat dickish as he sees the pain in your face.

Unbeknownst to you, Will can’t tear his eyes away from watching you leave, the prickly heat of worry and dread spreads across his skin. The desire to go after you was clear on his features, lost in his own moment of realisation, too caught up in the tumbling down of his own walls to realise Nina was witness to it as well. 

She had never been clueless about your connection to her boyfriend, but to your credit, you had never overstepped or even tried to enforce your place in his life. However, now, as she watches the silent revelation play out in front of her, it’s hard to ignore the sourness in her throat. Her new chapter of life had been closed as quickly as it had started.

-

After the last of the guests say their goodbyes, a heavy silence begins to fill the air of the apartment, replacing the lights and the laughter with a stillness that sits like dark, weighted, rain clouds that threaten a downpour. 

Will puts almost entirely too much focus on clearing away scraps of food, crumpled napkins and used plastic champagne flutes for there not to be something so obviously wrong. 

Nina glances at him from time to time, the energy coursing through her body going into putting the furniture back with haste. She can feel her hurt and anger building, but there’s also a resignation, she just wishes Will had opened his mouth sooner.

Eventually, she can’t take it, straightening up the dining table, she can’t help thinking about the fact that it’s a huge mercy that their landlord had included a 7-day grace period in their rental agreement.

“Are you gonna say something? Or do I have to do that for you too, even at the very end?” Her first shot is fired into the thick air, which makes Will’s shoulders tense. A slow lift of his head from the fascinating sight of the garbage bag in his hands to the woman he was about to let down.

“Nina, I-” The look on Will’s face already has her jaw clenching, he was about to try and soften the situation somehow, something she didn’t want or need. She only needed the truth.

“Will, I suggest you think very clearly about what comes out of your mouth next. Just be clear and be honest with me.” 

Will pressed his lips together, recalculating his sentence now that he could see this was really happening, it was now or never to face up to the reality of his feelings. 

“Nina? I haven’t been fair to you. You deserve someone as committed to you as you are to him, and I haven’t been that person.”

Nina inhales a sharp breath, hearing it aloud stings, but at least it’s the truth. “It’s always been Y/N, hasn’t it?” 

Will blinks, swallowing, staring his transgressions in the face.

“You messed me around. You acted as if I could be the only person you’d want this future with, but all along you knew the truth. You knew deep down that Y/N was who you really wanted, and you let us go through all of this - in front of our friends too.” Nina’s rage is the quiet kind, the kind that doesn’t need screaming or erratic behaviour to convey the gravity of its source.

“I didn’t know she had feelings for me, not for sure, not until tonight… I-... I’m sorry, Nina. I have feelings for her, and I shouldn’t have ignored them. I should have been honest from the start, from that kiss at Molly’s. I shouldn’t have let myself pretend.” 

“Oh well, I’m so glad you’ve seen the light tonight, no more pretending, huh? Wow.” 

Will’s eyes shuttered closed for a second, there was no getting around the mess he’d made for Nina and for you. 

“Nina, I care about what happens to you, I-”

Nina held her hand up, shaking her head. She didn’t need to hear any more about how much Will loved you or how sorry he was that he still wasn’t going to pick her. “Please just go, Will. Get what you need tonight, we can arrange our stuff at some point. I just need you to go, please. Now.”

Will nods, picking up his phone from the coffee table as he silently heads to the bedroom to pack some things. He would be reacquainting himself with Jay’s couch tonight.

-

You were more than thankful that the following day was a day off for you. You could very well put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the job, but it was a relief to be allowed to cry in your apartment under a duvet and mindlessly watch episode after episode of Mythbusters.

Even though your eyes were staring at the laptop screen, your mind couldn’t be further from focusing on what was in front of you. You couldn’t stop replaying over and over the way Will had really seen you last night, he knew the truth now and you would have to live with that reality - whatever that might mean for your friendship.

So much was your melancholic reverie that the texts you’d received from not only Maggie but Jay and Will had all gone unnoticed and unread. Each passing hour was just as lovesick as the one before it until you felt like you were climbing the walls. 

At around 2pm you decide to take a shower, put on some real clothes, open the curtains and take yourself out for a walk to get some food and some sunshine on your skin.

You’re just checking the lock on your front door when noise from further down the corridor grabs your attention, you figured that when you turned it would be one of your neighbours going back to their apartment. However, when you register the figure in front of you, you almost wish you could unlock the door and hustle back inside without being spotted.

Will was approaching you, a look of concern on his face that you’d rarely ever seen unless there was a serious emergency in the ED. As he gets closer his exhaustion is apparent, with hair that was unkempt and redness in his eyes that spoke of little to no sleep.

You were confused, to say the least, last night should have been a great night for him and he should have gone to bed with Nina to forget all about you.

As you stand frozen on the spot, pondering what could have possibly happened to have Will so stressed out, you almost jump when Will comes to a stop in front of you. He shifts from one foot to the other, hands deep in his jean pockets to stop them from fidgeting or rubbing nervously at his neck.

“Hi.” He murmurs, his voice gruff from a dry throat. 

“Hi.” You utter, voice tight. It now occurs to you that your face probably doesn’t look too much better, even the shower wouldn’t have magically erased the bags from tossing and turning, and the redness from crying.

“What are you doing here?” You ask curiously, trying not to sound too blunt or rude. 

“Can we talk?” He asks carefully, waiting for you to be upset with him as Nina had been.

You swallow, stomach flip-flopping with the gurgles of hunger to accompany it. 

“Sure…I, uh, I was going to take a walk and get lunch. Wanna come?” 

Will nods, taking a breath. “Sounds good.”

-

It’s not even 5 minutes into your walk until the silence between you almost becomes unbearable. The idea of breaking that silence seems to occur to you both at the same time.

“Will, I-”

“I broke up with Nina.” 

You stare at each other as the words sit in your brain, coming to a halt tucked to the side of the sidewalk.

“You broke up with Nina? The Nina who you’re sharing a new home with?” You don’t mean for the sentence to be so blunt, but you’re stunned at this turn of events.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Will gives a pained and sheepish smile. 

You’re frozen for a moment, trying to figure out if it was because of you without seeming too self-absorbed. Will seems to pick up on your thoughts, however, pacing slightly in front of you and as the words tumble past his lips, hands gesturing wildly as he tries to get his feelings across. 

“And it is because I care about you, Y/N. I haven’t acted right at all, and I don’t expect you to suddenly feel ready for anything. Hell, I don’t even expect you to want to be friends anymore, but I couldn’t lie to myself, and I couldn’t pretend like losing you wouldn’t be the biggest regret of my life. I shouldn’t have hurt you or Nina the way that I did, and I’m truly, deeply, sorry… I love you, Y/N.”

It’s surreal to think that this is happening in the middle of the street, whilst the world bustles around you. You look into the wild, soft, brown eyes of Will Halstead and you’re met with the truth now. You can see it there, the same sense of fear, grief and hope that had burned so strongly last night as he played the guitar and watched you cry.

You expected to fling yourself into his arms and kiss him senseless, but in reality, you nestle in close to wrap your arms tightly around him, your head tucked into his chest as you sniffle.

The warmth of his hand cradling the back of you makes you feel safe, his lips gentle as they press to the top of your head. A strong hold on your waist as you sniff rather pitifully, full of relief and shock, speaking quietly as though any louder would shatter some sort of illusion, “Please, please don’t change your mind.” 

Will’s laughter rumbles through his chest, planting more kisses on your face as you look at him, laughter pulled from you too as you see your own joy mirrored on him.

“That was a one-time thing, sweetheart. I won’t be changing anything for as long as you want me to be here.” 

-

Fin.

tags: @resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[halsteadlover]

About the previous poll!

So I was thinking about writing for:

Chicago PD:

Kevin Atwater

Adam Ruzek

Antonio Dawson (I’m not sure about it)

Chicago Med:

Will Halstead

Connor Rhodes

Criminal Minds:

Aaron Hotcher

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

Let me know what do you think, would you like to read fics about those characters? Are there other characters you suggest me to write for? Please let me know in the comments or even with an anon!

I also wanted to thank my boo @resanoona for encouraging me to write for those other characters and reassuring me it’s okay to be nervous. Girl get yourself ready bcs I’m about to stress the hell out of you 😭 ilysm ❤️

[sebastianstangirl01]

Do you have any Halstead! Sister fic recommendations? It's so hard to find anything platonic for One Chicago. Everything seems to be romantic😭

I agree! It is so hard to find them, that’s why I want to write some so maybe it would inspire others to as well. But I have read some amazing Halstead Sister fics on here and I’ll list the blogs below!!

@irislikeswriting

@jayhalsteadsimp2019

@jayhalsteadslover

@amsgrey

@resanoona

@anotherspnfanfic

@poppadom0912

@thebookreader12345

@i-spaced-sorry

@study-coffee-chicago

@plotting-against-you

@writinghalstead

@i-like-sparkly-things

I’m sure there are more out there but these are just some of the ones I’ve read! I hope you enjoy!

[study-coffee-chicago]

Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP (or post where you last left off on in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog. 

From something I’m gonna post later this week but don’t have a title for yet lol

"In my bag in the rental," Jay confirmed.

This gives literally nothing away haha

@resanoona @i-like-sparkly-things Can’t think of anyone else, so if I’ve ever liked/reblogged something you’ve written, feel free to join in!

(I was tagged by @plotting-against-you )

[campingmonkey]

Give ♡ this ♡ to ♡ the ♡ twelve ♡ nicest ♡ people ♡ you ♡ know ♡ if ♡ you ♡ get ♡ five ♡ back ♡ you ♡ must ♡ be ♡ perfect ♡ ❣

Thank you Kym! 🥰💗

I’m just gonna tag a few... because efficiency. 😅🤣 @luci-in-trenchcoats @resanoona @mertes4cker @thatonewriter15 @sensitivehandsomeactionman @supernatural-jackles

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP (or post where you last left off on in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.

I was tagged by @study-coffee-chicago !!!! Thank u for tagging me 🥺💗

Here u go :

"Jay help, Will wants to eat me!"

Jay gasped, picking her up and setting her on his hip, "Will how could you? She's our only sister!"

Lol I haven't edited this yet tho.

I'm gonna tag : @purple-dahlias @resanoona and @sorry-i-spaced but no pressure!!

[sheetsonfire]

HI I LOVE RESA SM - SHE IS SO TALENTED!!!

@sheetsonfire being the most supportive? Bestie vibes i love you!!!

[plotting-against-you]

Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP (or post where you last left off on in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog. 

I have a lot of WIPs, so I'll just go with my Supergirl/One Chicago fic.

Wasn't tagged but encouraged by others to do this challenge.

Story: One Call Away

Siobhan raised a brow. “This is gonna be fun.”

Tagging some of my favorite authors, but don't feel like you have to do it!

@amsgrey @resanoona @i-spaced-sorry @study-coffee-chicago @jayhalsteadslover @wordsandupstead @sheetsonfire @writinghalstead @i-like-sparkly-things

[gregorygerwitz]

Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP (or post where you last left off on in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.

I was tagged by @resanoona - thank you!

But it didn't help, not even a little bit.

I’m tagging (with no pressure): @kitthekazoo @crockettmarcel @sorry-i-spaced @lovelymysticmoon @aramblingjay and anyone else who wants to participate!

[sheetsonfire]

Chasing Shadows Away

Fandom: Chicago PD

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

Warnings: Horror, violence, murder

Word Count: 3220

Summary: The reader dreams of their worst fears, and Jay is there to chase them away.

A/N: This is part of @resanoona's #resa.3kfiestabingo! I'm using this fic to fill the "Hurt/Comfort" square!

My dreams are nothing if not good for writing fuel, ha!

-

[Dream] 

You’re trailing behind Jay in the crowd, receiving stares as you pierce your way through the waves of bodies with hollers of his name. You can’t seem to keep up, his hand having been disconnected from yours, which happened several clusters of people ago.

There’s jostling and a frenetic blur of conversations, some of which you’re sure are about you and the commotion you’re making. You don’t care, however, the only thing on your mind is to keep tabs on the black [POLICE] vest on Jay’s back.

Anxiety coils around your stomach like a python, squeezing the more you try and free yourself of the sensation. To your dismay, your hand is met with thin air as you reach for your radio on your own vest. 

Where the hell had your radio gone?

Fuck.

Paranoia in your line of work was generally a good thing, it kept you alert and tuned in to your surroundings. However, as you meet the eyes of judging civilians, who seem to move toward you in a silent threatening waltz, it does nothing but make your hairs stand on end.

You didn’t know why you felt so scared and so out of control, but you don’t know how to tame it anymore.

All the while your eyes haven’t left the back of Jay’s head for longer than a second, anger fizzing out of you as you watch your boyfriend and partner take a left and head for the elevator. You would surely lose him by the time you made up the distance between you.

You had no evidence for your next thought but as true as the sky is blue you know in your soul that to lose Jay to the elevator would mean disaster. Whether that disaster was for you or for him, you couldn’t be sure. 

“Jay! For god’s sake!” You holler with abandon, with no concern about the scene you’re making.

A gap opens up in the shifting bodies ahead of you and you break into a sprint, thwacking shoulder to shoulder with faceless silhouettes as you keep moving.

It’s too late, however, the elevator doors begin to close just as you round the corner and you watch the back of Jay disappear.

You stand there breathless, the hum of activity behind you makes you grab at the back of your neck, trying to find some feeling of safety and security. The elevator ascends into the heights of the arched building, bright lights and a glass ceiling loom overhead, making you feel small.

Why wasn’t the team here? Why did Jay never look back for you?

You scrub your hands at your face, trying to collect your thoughts. You lift your eyes to the panel above the elevator entrance, there should be numbers there to tell you where Jay was going but there was nothing. Yet another jab at your gut.

With little option but to climb the stairs and go looking for signs of trouble that’s exactly what you start doing. You’re taking the stairs with speed as you make it to the first floor, another floor that seems to be full of people whose dark eyes are drawn to you, you felt that you were most certainly an unwelcome intrusion. Though you were used to that when on duty.

This time the floor is littered with couches, red plush velvet upholstery with canoodling couples and threesomes dressed in opulent gowns and suits, indulging in platters of food and flowing taps of alcohol. The air is thick with a pleasant-smelling smoke, it almost has an orange haze to it. You knew this place was somewhere for the rich and the elite, unsurprisingly insidious and almost cult-like in nature.

It feels as though you’ve fallen into an alternate dimension as you whip your head around, looking for glimpses of Jay. You’re avoiding the gaze of the watchers as best you can, inching forward to the next stairwell whilst keeping a distance from the silent pandemonium around you.

Suddenly in front of you, a sour-faced individual appears, feminine in appearance they align themselves with you, stopping you from moving further ahead. There are eyes are vividly green, serpent-like, their lips blood red. Those same lips are pursed as they point sharply in the direction of a small glass balcony that hung over the edge of the floor you were on, looking down onto the ground floor concourse.

For some reason, there are no words exchanged, and you can’t even bring yourself to ask for clarification, it’s like you instantly know that Jay is in that direction. There is no other choice but to go over there and see what awaits.

You nod at the strange figure, watching as they turn on their heels and strut away - catching briefly the couch-dwellers staring at you again. You could feel the inky black of their eyes, only pinpoints of white in their pupils.

The sooner you could get Jay and get the fuck out of here, the better.

Mindful of the fact that you didn’t know what was on the other side of the thick, long, velvet curtains that concealed the balcony, you keep a hand close to your weapon but your heart feels increasingly close to your vest, pounding relentlessly.

You couldn’t afford to act in a rash panic to get to Jay.

Inching forward you try and keep an ear out for signs of movement or voices, the crowd behind you seems to fade out as a sharp ringing tone pierces your ears, and you wince at the sensation. It felt as though you’d been caught in an explosion, something you had experienced on multiple occasions.

Of course, this was different, you knew that. You were certain you were actually in the undercurrent of a panic attack. Heart pounding, a sickly feeling in your throat, you feel the cold of your anxiety ripple through your adrenaline.

Still, no sound or movement in front of you as you come to a standstill in front of the curtains, balancing your posture to not fidget or jostle your vest too much.

You’re still processing how to handle what comes next when you hear the unmistakable metal whistle of a blade being unsheathed. Your heart leaps into your mouth, a shaking hand grasping the fabric of the curtain as you pry them open just a fraction, trying to see what the hell was happening.

“Oh my god.” You breathe out, and the sight in front of you is incomprehensible. 

Jay is now stripped of his clothes, and his weapon and vest are discarded along with everything else. Tears and sweat stain his cheeks, mixing in with the blood that drips from his nose, drying into a rusty colour on his mouth. Angry red marks litter his skin, marks which look to be made with a blunt object. You suspected that blunt object was one of the many candelabras sitting at various heights on the ledge of the balcony.

Your boyfriend’s face is stoic, his nostrils flare in defiant anger, but you can see the fine tremor in his muscles as he tries to remain still, trying not to provoke more of what they'd already done to him.

They.

They were hooded figures, in black robes with gold trim, and black gloves to conceal anything that might show you who they were.

Your blood is rushing in your ears, the confined space of the balcony left you without a vantage point to attack from another angle or use the element of surprise.

“Time.” A deep voice utters, taking you by surprise. It doesn’t sound as though it came from any individual at all, but rather an omniscient presence from above, ethereal and intangible, surrounding you completely.

Between that last thought and your next breath, the sickening sound of metal slicing into flesh brings the world rushing back to burn you.

A stunned gasp escapes Jay's mouth, a grunt of unregistered agony as his brain fights to protect his pain reception.

The dagger in the gloved leather hand is pressed to its hilt in Jay’s abdomen, seated beneath his chest.

You watch in horror as Jay’s glassy eyes meet yours, weak hands trying to push away the stranger’s hands, you’re trying to move forward, your voice screaming hoarsely with no sound to speak of. The curtains move no further, unrelenting as they hold together with some unseen force.

Your boyfriend’s life fades in front of you, trapped in his glass prison as concealed robed heads turn to watch you, unrepentant as they make you watch your love slip away.

Your fists pound against the barrier, screaming Jay’s name in disbelief, willing him to keep his eyes open and look at you.

[Dream jump] 

“Detective, this came for you.” One of Platt’s officers hands you a reasonably large box as you thank them and let them leave.

It’s a black box with no label or card attached, suddenly you’re confused as to how the officer knew it was for you. Realistically you knew you shouldn’t open it, it could have very well been something dangerous, but your feel compelled as you move on instinct, undoing the large gold ribbon wrapped around it.

The more you undo the knot in the ribbon, the worse the trembling in your hands gets, it was as though you already knew what was inside without seeing.

Lifting the lid may as well have been lifting a solid block of stone, discarding the top onto the floor as you peel away black sheets of paper.

The sight makes you gag.

Without hesitation, you knew that the pristinely cleaned and catalogued skeletal remains were Jay’s, returned from that incomprehensible and soulless place where they had taken his life in front of your eyes.

In your terror, your anger and your despair there is nothing left to do except scream, or at least try to. Throat-shredding gasps and squeaks tear at your vocal cords as you try and release your grief, fists clenched until–

[End of dream sequence]

You wake up still screaming, scrambling upright in the bed, thrashing around as that chasm of darkness swipes its claws at your consciousness, trying to pull you back in.

A warm hand on your bare shoulder makes you flinch, pulling away from it until you're almost falling off the edge of the bed. You whip your head around to the hand's source.

Concerned green eyes meet your wide, panicked, ones.

“Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s me. It’s Jay. You’re awake, everything is okay, and you’re safe with me. Breathe for me, honey.” Jay keeps his grip on you, gentle to not alarm you further but secure enough to prevent you from hurting yourself.

The longer the heat of his palm and fingers seeps into your skin, the easier it gets to breathe, the familiarity of his touch, the cadence in his voice, the smell of his aftershave, the quiet of your bedroom - it all grounds you.

That bliss of recognition relaxes your muscles, your eyes blinking against the sting of sleep and fear, tears that brim fall down in silent tracks on your cheeks. You know you’re safe, but the sensation of powerlessness and loss makes you feel like you’re dropping from a height, your stomach still giving involuntary flips of anxiousness.

“Jay.” It’s a broken whisper that makes your boyfriend’s heart ache, opening his arms up as you scramble back towards him, practically settling yourself into his lap as you wrap yourself tightly around him.

You kiss his neck, inhaling him as you steady your breathing further, slow and deliberate as you follow his guiding rhythm. Squeezing your eyes shut to get away from the tortured images, only to open them again as you see your greatest fears in that darkness.

Hands moving on instinct to feel every bit of him, stroking through his bed head, pulling back so you can look at him. His eyes search yours, trying to understand what you need, but it’s clear as you begin to trace the features on his face. His expression softens, nuzzling into your hand as you caress his jaw, chasing your hand to kiss your palm.

You study him again, cupping his face to press a slow kiss to his lips, he feels you shivering in his arms, the adrenaline and the chill of the room rattling your very being. 

Wordlessly he lifts the duvet up and over your shoulders, cocooning you between him and the weighted, warm, material. 

It’s not hard to guess what the nightmare was about, the way you watch him like he would disappear at any moment makes it all too clear. He takes your face in his hands like you had with him, reassuring you with certainty. 

“I got you. You got me. I’m okay, I’m not leaving and nobody is taking me. Alright?” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, to your cheeks, then back to your lips - he takes your focus away from the “What if”, letting you hear, feel and see him from second to second.

You simply nod, resting your head back on his shoulder as he holds you, gently rocking you as you sigh. Your heart races still, but not in the gallop that it had been. You feel fingertips tenderly massaging at your scalp, trailing over your neck to rub your back.

Focusing on the heat of Jay’s skin, the softness of his breaths, and listening to his gentle words as he occasionally encourages and soothes.

After a while you feel yourself truly come out of the alarmed stupor, croaking out a “Thank you.” with your dry throat.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. This is what I’m here for.” He gently encourages you to look at him, making sure you see his sincerity.

You smile, rubbing your thumb over the bridge of his nose.

“Want to talk about it?” He tests, running his hands up and down your arms. 

You think about the question, not sure if you were ready to relive the moments of losing him just yet. Perhaps it would be a morning thing, where the sun could shine on both of you over breakfast and keep those shadows away, only existing in the story you would tell.

You shake your head, smiling weakly. “In the morning?” You suggest, to which your boyfriend nods without hesitation. “Of course.”

You glance at the clock, it reads 2am and you hum in thought. Sometimes, you and Jay would go to the kitchen to make a hot chocolate, then settle on the couch to watch something mindless and relaxing on the tv - it was a ritual that usually worked if either one of you was struggling, but you didn’t want to keep Jay awake. Despite the day off both of you had ahead of you, it was late and the case you’d been on this past week had been an energy wipeout.

In the silent weighing of your thoughts, Jay’s voice brings you back, you notice he’s got that knowing smile on his face, hands settled on your waist. “Hot chocolate and whatever’s on tv?” He asks, but really he knows it’s a sure thing.

You let out a small laugh, kissing his cheek. “If that’s okay? I don’t want you to lose sleep over this.” You frown, still not sure if you should just lay back down and try to sleep.

Jay shakes his head, “Babe, when do we ever just cut this short and force ourselves back to sleep when we’re not ready? I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing you’re not feeling totally safe and totally relaxed. You wouldn’t want that for me either, would you?”

You of course shake your head too, there would be no way you’d let Jay just suck it up and not do everything you could to help him wind back down. You had countless nights of dealing with his nightmares and helping him calm down to show for it, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

Jay kisses your forehead, “That’s settled then. Gimme a second.”

In a swift motion, he extricates himself from the warmth of you, rooting around in a drawer for one of your sleep shirts, some fluffy socks and the fluffy dressing gown that hung on the back of the door.

Then he returns to you and begins to put the shirt over your head, helping you get your arms in before pulling your legs carefully to the edge of the bed, making you laugh at the military-like execution of this routine.

“Cosy?” He asks, and you nod, shimmying off the bed to stand. “Cosy.” You confirm, immediately putting your arms through your gown as he holds it open for you, trying the belt securely as the soft material instantly eases the tension in your body.

You watch as Jay grabs his own shirt, some sweatpants and some socks, patiently waiting for him to get dressed too. Then you’re reaching for the hand he holds out to you as you both wander down the hall to the kitchen and lounge.

-

The sound of the simmering milk on the stove and the smell of the cocoa being stirred in has become one of your most cherished things with Jay, watching him put everything together and take such care of you only ever makes your heart grow fonder. 

It was times like this that unquestionably reaffirm that you wanted him to be your husband one day, hopefully, one not too far away.

The lights are dimmed low, the curtains are drawn and the air is warm, you feel safe in your world with Jay, and your nightmare is all but forgotten for now.

With a pour of some caramel and a sprinkle of marshmallows onto the swirl of cream, Jay brings two steaming mugs over and hands one to you, holding the hot bottom of the mug to make sure you can take the cool handle.

“Thank you, honey.” You smile, making sure he’s got room to settle next to you - using your free hand to hold the blanket up so he can climb under.

Settled against Jay’s side, you sip at your hot chocolate, the ever-present weight of his arm around your shoulder lulls you into serenity as you watch the opening scenes of Our Great National Parks.

You lift your head, looking up at Jay, “This is how it should be forever.”, you muse, following up with words that you want him to hear as many times as you can say it. “I love you.” 

Jay leans in, knocking his head gently against yours, “Y/N, this can be forever, you don’t have to doubt that. I love you too.”

-

Taking the last sips of your drink, you set the empty mug on the coffee table, pulling your legs back up to remain in the heat under the comforter, slipping your arms around Jay as you pillow yourself back against him, feeling the vibrations of his gentle laughter - he loved how assertive you could be about your cuddling.

“Good?” He asks, checking in with you one last time.

“Good.” You confirm as stretches of beach and forest are shown in rich colour and wondrous sound - letting your mind wander unafraid, secure in the knowledge that Jay is right where he’s meant to be.

-

Fin.

tags: @resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @dumb-fawkin-bitch - @enchantedblackrose

[halsteadlover]

Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP (or post where you last left off on in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog. 

I was tagged by @resanoona, thank you bb ❤️

You thought you’d take hundred of those bullet and relieve the pain all over again just to see the expression of pure joy and the smile on his beautiful face.

That’s ugly as fuck I’m sorry for who’s gonna read this piece💀

Tagging: @halstudandruz @emiewritesthings @angywritesstuff @delaber and of course whoever wants to play!

[dawn-petrichor-world]

Reminder for you @writercole @writeforfandoms @oonajaeadira @holylulusworld @heilith @shiinata-library @mismaeve @youlightmeupfinn @grogusmum @imjess-themess @mothdruid @luna-xial @prolix-yuy @resanoona @soaharleys @words-are-fireproof

I made it

[afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff]

Tagged by @unmistakablyunknown to share my lock screen, the last song listened to, and last image saved

No pressure tags: @resanoona @teeentyonepilots @friendlyneighborhoodpegacorn