#repost bc tumblr ate my posts sigh

[jeonbunnie]

promises: sandcastles

reader x namjoon

♡ genre: angst, smut, fluff if you squint ♡ content: cheating, consensual sex, nsfw, pov shifts ♡ words:  5,320 ♡ song: sandcastles by beyoncé  ♡ synopsis: Marriage life with Namjoon hasn’t been the same lately. He’s been cold and distant, always whispering on the phone. And you can’t help but notice. . .

♡ note: this is part of a series, can be read as stan alone but if you’d like more context the other chapeters are listed below. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

♪ We built sandcastles that washed away. I made you cry when I walked away, oh. And although I promised that I couldn't stay, baby. Every promise don't work out that way.

It only takes seconds for you to cross the space between and press your lips to his. For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t move—doesn’t even breathe. Then his arms wrapped around you, brought you flush against him and you melted in his embrace as he kissed you, his lips softer than ever. Deep down, you know you shouldn’t. It would be too painful to become wrapped up in Namjoon again only to tear yourself away from him. But your body had a will of its own. When his tongue swept across your bottom lip, you parted for him like the red sea and every emotion you’d ever felt for him came flooding back.

Every kiss you’ve ever had, every whisper of ‘I love you,’ all of it ignited in your mind the second Namjoon kissed you back in a moment so intense you felt your body tremble at his touch. His lips moved gently over yours while his hands came up to cup your cheeks, and before you know it, you find yourself in the middle of the most sensual kiss you’ve had in your life. Namjoon kissed you like he was hungry, tongue rolling into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moan, arching into his embrace.

It was shameful how your body responded back to him. You could feel your heart rate increase, the heat rushing to your cheeks. You couldn’t remember the last time you wanted him like this. Your thoughts traveled back to the words that sparked your desire: “I want you back, because I love you. Knowing you and loving you has been the biggest blessing in my life. I don’t regret it. I’d I do it all over again, even if it meant losing you.”

All this time you’d been fighting against your love for Namjoon, convinced any feelings he had for you were long gone. But everything he said proved otherwise.

It was confusing to you. You spent so much time thinking that Namjoon didn’t want you anymore, you’d even come to accept it but now? You didn’t know what to think. Your mind was screaming for you to pull away, stop before it went any further. That everything you were doing right now was wrong. Except, it didn’t feel wrong. It almost felt...good. Right.

The truth is you feel exactly the same. Despite everything you’d been through, you still loved Namjoon. He was the love of your life and you wished with everything in you that you could turn back the clock and start over. If what he said was true—if there was even a possibility of Namjoon still loving you, you needed to feel that.

Namjoon’s touch had you desperate. You found your hands tracing the planes of his body, running down his muscular arms before coming back up as you linked your arms around his neck. He kissed you deeper, groaning low in his throat, and the sound was enough to drive you wild. Even this close, you couldn’t get enough of him. All you could feel was the compulsive need for more. More of his touch. More of his kisses. More, more, more.

You could feel Namjoon’s body backing you up to the bed. Your knees hit the mattress and you allowed yourself to fall back against the soft sheets. But Namjoon didn’t fall with you. You opened your eyes, instantly giving way to panic. His pause alarmed you. Your anxiety reared its ugly head, speaking cruelty into your mind. How could you be so foolish? What were you thinking kissing Namjoon? He didn’t actually want you. He was leading you on, playing with your feelings. That’s why he stopped.

You pulled yourself up, leaning your weight back on your elbows to look into his eyes. You expected to see cold rejection on his handsome face, but what you saw in his gaze wasn’t at all what you imagined. Instead, when you looked into eyes, all you could see was raw, unfiltered desire. And strangely enough, uncertainty.

Namjoon had a million thoughts racing through his mind. All of them questions.

How did he end up here, with you spread across his bed when only minutes before you seemed worlds apart? The situation didn’t feel real, more like a fantasy, like he dreamed you up. But if this dream was real--if this dream was really coming true--should he let it?

Of course he wanted you. If you kissed him like this a couple of months ago, Namjoon wouldn’t hesitate to take you; he’d have his way with you until you screamed his name. But tonight, the last thing Namjoon wanted. He’d spent months craving your touch; the feel of your lips against his, how the heat of your body felt flush against his. He caused you enough pain acting on his lust. He didn’t want to hurt you further by taking advantage of the situation.

Both of you got caught in an emotional whirlwind but this kiss was a mistake, wasn’t it? He looked down at you, waiting for you to push him away but you didn’t make a move. Instead, you stared at him, desire burning in your eyes. God, that look alone was enough to arouse him. Still, he didn’t make any move kiss you.

You take a moment to look at Namjoon, really look at him. Trying to uncover the emotion swirling behind his dark eyes. The longer you stare, the more you feel like your heart was going to burst from your chest. You could see his uncertainty but the feeling wasn’t mutual.

Was it insane to sleep with your soon to be ex-husband? Yes. Did it make you want it any less?

Not even in the slightest.

I must be losing my mind. You couldn’t explain it yourself, but kissing Namjoon opened up something in you. Feelings you didn’t know you still had swept all over you. Heat washed over your body. You could feel your skin flush, passion stirring in your blood.

“Are you sure?” he asked, voice taut with apprehension.

Your body was practically screaming yes. But Namjoon’s hesitation made you pause.

Reading the confusion in your eyes, he quickly backtracked. “I’m not saying I don’t want to—believe me I do—I just don’t want you to do something tonight that you’ll regret in the morning.”

Your mind wasn’t there. That moment seemed so far off from the ever-present now and the rapid beating of your heart and the warmth of Namjoon’s body. You knew you had to make a choice. Yes or no. There was a small voice in the back of your head cautioning you against this. But tonight you were following your heart. Consequences be damned.

You looked up at him and nodded. “I want this.”

Namoon leaned forward to kiss you, and you shivered at the feel of his lips against yours. This time, there was no hesitation. You couldn’t remember the last time Namjoon kissed you like this.

Slowly, tenderly, like this kiss mattered. Like you mattered. Any inhibition you had melted away as you leaned into his touch. You felt yourself lower back down onto the bed. Namjoon’s hands passed over your body, slimming down your waist, before coming to rest on your thighs. You let them linger there, savoring the feeling of his hands on your body.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. You were so into the kiss, the feel of him you didn’t notice his hands pry off your clothes until you were left in only your underwear.

He stopped then, pulled away from your lips to look at you. Then the only thing you could feel on your body were his eyes drinking you in. The eye contact alone had you squeezing your thighs together. You watched the heat build in his dark gaze until his eyes lingered just a little too long, until your skin tingles all over from the intensity.

Then he was all over you, leaving open-mouthed kisses down your throat. Hands cupping your breasts. The feel of him against your thigh. It was an assault to your senses, but instead of overwhelming you, it only made you crave him even more. You arched your back as Namjoon kissed your collarbone, slowly making his way down the valley of your breasts. You moaned at the sensation of his tongue moving down your body, closer and closer you were you needed him most.

“Namjoon,” You breathed, body humming with pleasure. He looked up from between your thighs, dark eyes connecting with yours for a split second. You watched as he hooked his fingers into your underwear and dragged them down your legs. Then he gave his complete attention to your body, licking a long strip straight down your center that had you moaning his name again.

Namjoon gripped your thighs firmly in his hands, pulling you closer towards him. He wanted you to know that this meant more to him than just sex, that he loved you, and that he was more than willing to show you just how much. He takes his time tasting you. Each lick languid and loving. He didn’t want to tease you, all he wanted to do was to please you. To touch you and erase the pain he caused--even if only for a second. Namjoon swirled his tongue across your clit. Once, twice, a third time, drawing sweet moans and gasps from your lips.

You couldn’t keep yourself quiet. It’d been so long since anyone touched you. Throughout everything, you still remained faithful to Namjoon. And even if you’d been with another, no one could ever make you feel like this. Have your toes curling, back arching. It was almost embarrassing how easily you melted under his touch. Some part of you still wondered how you could give in so easy. Shouldn’t you be feeling some resistance? All you felt was longing.

You found yourself rocking your hips against him, and crying out his as his tongue delved deeper.

You wanted to bring your hands up to your face to muffle the sounds but before you could, Namjoon stopped you.

“Don’t,” he said. He took hold of your hands and threading his fingers through yours. All the while his tongue still swirling against you, making lewd sounds that had you feeling hot.

You could feel your body heating up, the rise and fall of your chest coming faster and faster. When you felt him slide tongue inside you, pressing up against your sweet spot—it was enough to push you over the edge. You came, squeezing Namjoon’s hands tight.

Namjoon lapped up your juices, enjoying the taste of your slick on his tongue. Even then he didn’t stop, coaxing a second orgasm out of you with soft licks against your center.

“Joon,” you whimpered, body humming with oversensitivity. “Too much.”

Only then did he pull away, moving to place a tender kiss on the inside of your thigh. He sat up, and you rose on your elbows ready and willing to return the favor, but Namjoon gently pushed you back down on the bed, shaking his head.

“I just wanna be inside you right now,” he rasped.

God, you wanted that too. They way Namjoon ate you out had your body begging for more. You weren't going to argue with him.

Namjoon sat up and placed a hand around your neck, guiding you back to his lips. It started out slow. Soft, sweet kisses against your lips. It wasn’t until he slipped his tongue inside your mouth that he found himself suddenly desperate for you. Even more surprising was your reaction to him. You kissed him back with just as much fever, completely captivated.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. When you finally pulled away, you looked at each other, panting, the air thickening between you two. Namjoon’s dark eyes stared down at you with an intensity that pierced your soul. You knew he felt it too. This energy...There was still love between you. But you’d already made your decision. You wanted this moment, this passion but you couldn’t trust him with your heart and be sure he wouldn’t break it. I can’t fall for him again. I can’t. You wanted him badly but wanting him, and trusting him were two different things.

“Namjoon,” you started. Then stopped, trying to find the right words to explain. “This isn’t—I can’t—”

“—Stay? I know.” Namjoon knew what he was getting into the second you kissed him. He knew this was goodbye, and that it would hurt like hell come morning. He didn’t care. If only he could change the past, he’d take it all back.

But he couldn’t. The damage was already done. This was the last time he’d ever hold you in his arms again. If he could have you, even for this short time, he’d take what he could get. He wasn’t going to fuck it up trying to make this into something it wasn’t. He loved you too much to be selfish at this moment. If this were the last time, he would make it well worth your while.

“I just need tonight.”

Namjoon pulled you tighter against him, molding you against his body. Before making any sudden movement, he pulled back a little to look in your eyes, to make sure this was still what you wanted.

You cupped his cheek and kissed his lips, reassuring him. Then he aligned his cock against your entrance and pushed inside you with one smooth move. You tensed, freezing in his arms. The feeling of your walls clenched around him made staying still absolute torture. But Namjoon wouldn’t dare move.

You close your eyes and breathe out a shaky breath, familiarizing yourself with the burn of the stretch. He’s so thick it takes a minute for your body to adjust to the size. Though the sensation of Namjoon nuzzling into your neck helps turn the pain into pleasure. You hooked your leg around his waist nudging him forward.

The small act made both of you moan in unison. “Namjoon...please,” you sighed

He moved, starting out with a pace that had your insides feeling molten. His hands gripped at your hips as he pulled out almost all the way, then slowly slid himself deep inside you. You were so wet, so tight he couldn’t help but groan. The feel of you taking all of him, giving him this pleasure and the look in your eyes...Namjoon was sure he’d never love another the same way.

This wasn’t just sex. Namjoon knew the difference now. What it really meant to be intimate with a partner. To share his body with someone not for a distraction or stroke his ego but for love. To draw closer with one another. This was it for him. You, it was always you. There would never be another. He started to rock into you, deep and slow, desperate to make you feel that.

You closed your eyes, losing yourself to the sensation. Needing more, you raised your hips to meet his thrusts and Namjoon took the hint, snapping his hips to meet yours faster. You cried out as he filled you again and again and again. Right now, you don’t worry about future decisions. You don’t think about all the conflicting feelings you had for this man.

Not that you could think about that anyways. Your senses were all wrapped up in how good Namjoon was making you feel. His pace was brutal just how you liked it, but his touch was nothing but kind. His hands trailed up to the small of you back keeping you close. Namjoon cupped your face as he kissed you; he only pulled away to rest his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes. You’d slept with Namjoon before, but something about this time was different. If you didn’t know any better—you’d think he was making love you. He was so strong, yet so loving. You wished he could be this way with you always.

You wanted to stay here, savor this moment. But Namjoon was grinding his hips against yours in a way that had you breathless. You were so close.

“Namjoon, I—”

“Come for me,” he said.

Growling, he thrust harder against you and reached down between your bodies to rub your clit, driving you towards your orgasm. Your pleasure built inside you, sweeping over your body like a wave until it crashed and washed over you, sending tremors down your body.

Feeling you come apart in his arms, Namjoon slowed his thrusts. You clenched around him till pleasure flooded his senses and he came too, burying his face in your neck and moaning out your name.

The only sound heard throughout the room was panting as the two of you came down from your highs. Namjoon brushed your hair away from your face and ran his thumb across your cheek.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice full of concern. He rolled off you and onto his side so as not to crush you but remained close, his skin flush against yours.

“Mhmm…” you hummed. You stared at the ceiling as your heart rate slowed back down. You were expecting to feel something. Regret...maybe relief?

You don’t know what you were hoping for. Maybe subconsciously you thought sleeping with Namjoon would help you come to some kind of resolution. A grand epiphany that would tell you what to do with your situation. But really you didn’t feel any different than you did before.

“What are you thinking about?”

You shake your head as if to shake all those thoughts out of your head. “Nothing.”

Namjoon didn’t press you, but the silent tension in the air gave you the impression that he wanted to ask for more.

You’ve never felt so divided. The ego in you wanted to walk away from it all. Say goodbye and cut your losses, no matter the cost. You made peace with leaving because you were so sure that Namjoon didn’t want you. You knew you couldn’t be with a man who had no love for you. But now, knowing that there was still love here. That he still cared, that you still cared. It changed things. You wanted it to work. But you weren’t sure if you could love him the same; there was always the issue of trust. How could you ever trust him again?

“I’m sorry,” said Namjoon. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

You turned to face him then, lying on your side. “It was what it wanted and now…” You trailed off, lost to your thoughts again. You had to think about it. Dig deep and really question what it was you were searching for.

“Now what? What do you need?”  His expression was torn but honest.

So you asked for what you really wanted out of him. You asked for the truth.

“I need you to tell me everything.”

                                                            . . .                                                              

And he does. That night, as you bathe together, he finally tells you the truth. The whole truth.

When the sweat on your skin dried and became sticky, Namjoon ran a bath. You both got inside the clawfoot tub and sat on opposite sides, bodies intermingling as you faced each other. It was thick with quiet as thee bath filled up with heated water.

At first, Namjoon hesitated. You could tell he wanted to spare your feelings. So he gave you the truths in little bits. Pieces of information you could swallow, like the names of his past lovers, and when each act happened. Then slowly, bigger chunks that had you holding your breath as you processed the facts of his betrayal. He told you about it all. About the weakness, the desperation, and the loneliness he felt on tour. The need to touched and seen–really seen–by someone. Even if that someone wasn’t you. How one bad decision turned into two, turned into three. And the guilt. The guilt that accompanied the deception that rose and rose like high flames, eating him up inside.

By the time Namjoon’s done speaking, the water’s gone lukewarm, and your fingers were pruned, yet neither of you gets out of the bath. You let Namjoon bring you to close, till your back's up against his chest. He lathers his hands, and you let his calloused palms wash the pain away. Till the only thing you feel is his light touch. You repeat this action to him, stroking his skin with absolute ease. Then, and only then do you step out of the water. Namjoon drapes a fluffy white towel over your shoulder and wraps it around you.

He looks you in the eyes, and tells you that you're the only woman he’s ever loved. The only woman he would ever love. And you believe him.

                                                            . . .                                                              

That night, you lay down beside him exhausted. Not the kind of exhaustion that comes from lack of sleep or a long day at work. Not the weariness that leads nights of deep slumber–no–this is the weariness that puts stress on your heart. The kind that leaves you feeling drained. Empty. Beside you, Namjoon sleeps, but you’re wide awake.

Every nerve in your body is begging for rest. But it’s your heart keeping you up tonight.

Heart over mind, mind over matter. You're split in both directions. Wanting to stay, and wanting to go. You told yourself that you were leaving. Walking away from it all.

But something felt wrong.

Everything was already moving in one way, but your heart was starting to face another. You still hadn’t made up your mind.

You lie down in bed with your eyes closed and remember the first time you left. Before you knew the truth, before you knew anything really, except for the fact that you didn’t want to live in a lie. You packed your bag and drove to Jackson’s, but you couldn’t make it through the night without breaking down and calling your mom. You spilled your heart to her, and she heard you, even through all the tears. You called to get everything off your chest, but you were also searching for answers. You were desperate for her to give you some kind of sign of what you were supposed to do. An out. But she didn’t.

“Do you remember when you were little, and you used to make sandcastles at the beach?” she asked. “You used to love playing in the sand. Barely even went in the water. You spent all day just creating something, building your own world.”

It caught you off guard. You were so shocked that for the first time in hours you stopped crying. The memory was hazy in your mind, but you could still picture those summer days filled with warm golden sun, and the salty sea air.

“Some days as the sunset, the tide would come in and wash away everything you worked on. And you’d cry. Cry your little heart out. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than to pick you up, and hold you in my arms, comfort you. But you were at that age where you needed to start learning how to comfort yourself. So I let you cry. And after you got out all your tears, sometimes you’d start over. Dig your hands into the sand and start building all over again. Make something new. And sometimes you’d give up, walk away and come sit by me.”

“Yeah mom I remember...but, what does that have to do with anything?”

“You built your marriage with Namjoon on a foundation of love, and faith, and trust. That’s your sandcastle. And now that trust has been washed away you don’t know what to do, and you're crying out for me. Baby, I love you, but you’re gonna have to make this decision for yourself. I can’t make it for you. Whatever you decide, I will be right behind you, supporting you. If you want to stay and find a way to be together I will be here. If you want to divorce him I’ll be here for that, too. But you have to decide.”

You let her words sink in. You knew she was right. But you were so frustrated, so overwhelmed you burst into tears again. “How am I supposed to decide? It’s so hard to know what choice is right.”

“I don’t–I don’t want to make a mistake…” You said through sobs.

“(Y/n), the only thing worse than staying or going, is you holding your breath and being indecisive. You have to make a choice. Decide.”

You couldn't think of how to act on your mother’s advice back then, but in the present, you understood. You squinted in the dark and looked a the time. The clock on your nightstand reads 5:22 AM in bold red letters. You hadn’t even realized you’d been up all night with your thoughts.

You looked over at the man causing you this great affliction. Pale moonlight streamed through the window illuminated his heart-shaped face. You once thought of him to be a monster, but he wasn’t. He was just human. And for once, you finally sorted your feelings about him. You weren’t in limbo anymore.

                                                            . . .                                                              

When Namjoon wakes up the next morning–you’re not by his side.

At first, Namjoon is too tired to comprehend what it means to not feel your warmth pressed up against him. But as soon as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he realized he was waking from a dream into a nightmare. And then he started to panic. Rushing out of bed, he slid on a t-shirt and sweats to search for you. He looks for you everywhere. In the bathroom. In the hallway. Gone. He walked downstairs, slow. Heart full of dread. But still looking, still hoping. You weren’t in the living room. Or in the kitchen. Your purse and your keys on the counter were gone, too. Not even your car was parked out front. You are nowhere to be found. You’re gone. Gone, gone, gone.

And it was all his fault.

Namjoon dropped onto the couch and pressed his hands to his eyes tight. So tight that he saw flashes of color, but even that didn’t stop the tears from stinging his eyes. Namjoon knew he was undeserving of you. That this was the punishment he deserved for hurting you. He wished you knew how sorry he was. The regret that he felt.

He was not the same man who cheated on you, who made those bad choices. That man was a coward who chose to run from his marriage instead of towards it. He was afraid to come to you then, and now, now that was all he wanted. How he wished he didn’t hurt you. That you knew how much he wanted this marriage. He’d give anything for it. But that was all over now...Getting you back was impossible. He’d lost the love of his life…

                                                            . . .                                                              

It was just a little after dawn. The sun finally peeked its head out from around the clouds, stretching across your home in vanilla sunlight. Namjoon was so overwhelmed with grief for the loss of his marriage, for the loss of you, he didn't hear the click of the front door opening, or see the look on your face when you finally, finally came home.

You opened the door to find Namjoon sitting on with his face buried in his hands. You went to him, sat on his side, and gingerly pulled his hands away from his face. “Namjoon...what’s wrong?”

He looks up into your face, and there’s shock, and confusion, and tears in his brown eyes. There’s a look of disconnect as he takes in the sight of you, the suitcases standing by the door.

“You left.” He says.

You shake your head.

The tears in his eyes spilled down his cheeks. “You did. You left, and all your stuff was gone. You were gone.”

“Not like that.” You said. You did leave, but not in the way he might have thought. You went to think. To find peace and quiet so you could listen to your heart. “Not for good.”

You made your decision. You decided to love him anyway, and keep loving him, and keep working at your marriage. Even though it failed, you would keep trying. Because love didn’t quit. It wasn’t pride, or anger, or hurt. It didn’t hold grudges or keep resentments. It was patient, and kind, and forgiving. Healing.

And that was what you wanted, right? To heal.

“I’m sorry, I should have approached this better.” You said. “I figured you’d still be sleeping by the time I got back. I just needed to be on my own for a bit. Clear my head, think.”

Alone, you had more clarity about everything. Though knowing Namjoon’s truth didn’t make anything any easier it did help you find your truth. Truly, you loved him. You wanted to make it work.

Namjoon kissed the back of your hand and held on tight. His palms were wet, but you didn’t let go. He looked at you, and something softened in his eyes. “I thought–” he said, voice cracking

“I thought…”

“Me too.”

“You said you’d never come back.”

“I know. That was a long time ago...I promised you that I would leave. But that’s not how promises work anyway. And I don’t want a relationship based on promises. Those are just thoughts. And words. And they don’t mean anything unless your actions match up.”

“We said we’d be honest with each other so,” you took a deep breath, holding it for a minute before saying what you could only admit to yourself in private.

“I know I could start over. Find someone else. There are other men... but when I think about it, but when I think about it, I’ve only ever wanted you. I don’t want to start over with someone new. And kiss strangers. And hope to fall in love again. I want you. I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” Namjoon said. Softly. Without hesitation.

“But things have to change. We just stopped talking. You were my best friend, but we were living like strangers because we didn’t communicate with each other–I can’t do that again. You can’t just keep all your feelings bottled up inside. You need to talk to me. I don’t know if I can be everything that you need me to be, but you have to give me a chance. Don’t shut me out.”

“Can you do that for me?” You finished. You looked at his face and honestly stared back at you.

“I can. I can do anything for you.” Namjoon whipped at his wet face. “If I could take all back I would…I’m far from perfect, and I’ve done things that hurt you, things I’ll live to regret for the rest of my life. But I want to do better. Be better. And I know that I’m a better man when I’m with you … And I want to be by your side. Always. I can’t pretend it never happened. Like everything’s fine and that it’ll all be okay. I don’t know that. But I want it to be. I want to try...”

Now you were tearing up. You squeezed his hand. “So let’s try.”

“But Namjoon, I swear, if you try this shit again--”

“I won’t. I can’t. After everything...baby, all I see is you. I don’t want anyone else.”

Namjoon smiles at you, and this time, it’s a real smile; his eyes turn into crescent moons.

And you smile back.

He leans forward then, till your forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and you both close your eyes, savoring the moment. That feeling came back. The one from the night before. Overwhelming, unfiltered love. And at that moment, you know.

You know you can move on. Fall in love again, rebuild your trust.

And you’ll do it together.

[jelzorz]

four pillars (a moonfam Hogwarts au)

A/N: All this covid madness is driving me insane and I needed the stress relief so this is just for funsies and to see if anyone’s interested in a dumb moonfam Hogwarts au. If people like it enough, I’ll put it on Ao3 and keep going. For now, enjoy! Reposting bc tumblr ate my tags. Sorry for the double post!

-

There’s a girl at the Ravenclaw table that Lain’s been glaring at for about ten minutes now. It’s pretty out of the ordinary for him. Usually he saves this kind of unwarranted animosity for that Slytherin kid, Runaan, but there’s something… different in the downturn of his lips that piques Ethari’s curiosity.

It’s early for lunch. The Gryffindor table isn’t so crowded yet, and it’s not like Ethari’s a stranger here at all - Lain spends plenty of time at the Hufflepuff table to make up for it - but he pauses for a moment anyway, looking up and down the mostly empty table before he climbs over the bench to join him.

“That’s not how you get a girl’s attention, you know.”

Lain scowls, working his fork into the almost unrecognisable remains of the rissole on his plate. “I don’t want her attention,” he snaps, stabbing at a bit of mince probably a little more aggressively than he’d intended. “She’s not worth my time.”

Ethari raises an eyebrow at him. “So… why are you giving it?”

“I’m not.” He snatches at the jug of pumpkin juice in the middle of the table, and the only reason he doesn’t knock over a pile of scones is because Ethari has the sense to move them out of the way. He’d been wondering already, but the sourness of Lain’s pout and the frustrated tinge of pink in his cheeks just makes him all the more curious. It’s rare for someone not Runaan to invoke Lain’s unbridled rage like this, and the only reason that rivalry exists to begin with is because they’re equally matched in everything from Charms to Potions to Quidditch.

This is something different.

This is something else.

“What’d she do?” he tries.

Lain grumbles something unintelligible into his pumpkin juice, and Ethari lets out a long, patient sigh, and tries again.

“What’d you do?”

That gets him. “I didn’t do anything,” he snarls, slamming his goblet down. “Runaan provoked me. I was just minding my own business on the way to Herbology, and he comes out of nowhere being a pain in the backside, as always, and then she comes along and I tried to explain myself, because it wasn’t my fault, but she - she hexed both of us, and next thing I know, Professor Ibis is there now we’ve both got detention, all because bloody Runaan -”

Ethari holds up a hand. It’s not all true and he knows it - Lain has a habit of twisting stories like these to sound less incriminating, and his stupid rivalry with Runaan’s got them both into enough trouble that he knows rubbish when he hears it. “Runaan provoked you?” he asks, “Or were you provoking each other like you always do and Tiadrin just happened to be there to hex both of you before you could hex each other again?”

Lain falters. Then he narrows his eyes. “Tiadrin?”

“Yeah, Tiadrin.” Ethari snorts at him. “I make it a point to know the kids in our year. Sorry you’re not as popular as you think you are.”

Lain presses his lips shut, golden eyes hard with betrayal. “I didn’t do anything wrong,” he grumbles, turning back to his butchered rissole. “Runaan had his wand out first. She didn’t even let me explain -”

Ethari stifles a snort. “Don’t blame her,” he mutters into his goblet, and Lain shoots him a look that he pointedly chooses to ignore.

“I should have known better than to try,” says Lain shortly. “She’s all buddy-buddy with Runaan. Of course she’d take his side.”

“You said she hexed both of you.”

“She still took his side.” Lain glances at her once more, his head bowed towards his plate in a poor attempt to be subtle about it, but his eyes flit back to his rissole when Runaan approaches her looking just as sour. “See what I mean?”

“Er. No,” says Ethari, because he doesn’t. Even from here, Runaan’s scowl is hard to miss. Tiadrin, on the other hand, looks pretty smug about it, and again, he can’t blame her. Lain and Runaan’s rivalry is stupid and childish, and he’s certain she’s not the first to want to stop them before they start all over again - she’s just the first to actually do something about it. He makes a note to congratulate her about it later - and to ask her what really happened. He has a feeling her version might be closer to the truth. He clears his throat. “I don’t get why you’re so pissy about it,” he says. “You and Runaan get detention often enough on your own. What’s so different about this time?”

Lain grinds his teeth and glares down at his plate. “She upstaged me,” he mutters, so quietly that Ethari struggles to hear it.

“She what?”

Lain takes a breath. Uses it to steel himself like he’s about to divulge some kind of horrible secret. Glances up and down the table to make sure no one else is within ear shot. “She upstaged me,” he grumbles again.

That’s what Ethari thought he heard. Lain’s not one to throw tantrums like this - not usually - but then no one really upstages him either. He and Runaan are equally matched. It’s rare that one ever gets the upper hand, but the fact that Tiadrin had honestly just makes Ethari want to congratulate her more. “Upstaged you?” he asks, dubious.

“Yeah,” mumbles Lain. “She was so fast. Had her wand in her hand before Runaan and I even blinked. Stuck me with a Stickfast Hex so good Professor Ibis had to undo it for me. Runaan had sardines coming out of his nose. It was amazing.”

Ethari stares at him. “She got you with a Stickfast Hex and you’re calling her ‘amazing’?”

Lain flushes. “Credit where credit’s due,” he mumbles, hiding his face in his goblet.

There’s a pause. Lain spends longer than he needs to gulping down the rest of the pumpkin juice that Ethari’s pretty sure he’s only doing it to hide the rising blush in his face. The issue here is so obvious he wants to laugh, and as much as he wants to take pity on Lain and his lack of emotional maturity, it feels like it might be funnier just to sit back and watch this disaster unfold. Lain’s always been a bit of a ladykiller, but this is going to be a trainwreck in the best possible way, and he’d be a poor friend if he tried to stop it.

He’s got Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws after lunch, which means Lain will have to spend Potions brooding over this with Runaan in the same room, and Ethari almost wishes he was in Gryffindor just so he can make jokes about it all period. But he eyes Tiadrin instead, a smirk pulling at his lips and a plot coming together in his mind. If it works, maybe Tiadrin will rub off on him, and Lain might deflate his ego enough to see that he and Runaan would probably get along if they weren’t always at each other’s throats.

If it doesn’t - well. It’ll be fun to watch, at least. Maybe Tiadrin will rub off on him anyway. He can hope.

He claps Lain’s shoulder. “I’m going to class,” he says. “You’re going to stew on this whether I try to stop you or not, so I might as well save myself the trouble. At least Tiadrin’ll be easier to talk to. See you in Charms.”

“What - wait!” Lain makes a grab for the sleeve of his robe, and Ethari pauses, trying not to let his amusement get the better of him. “What - Have you got class with her or something next?”

“Sure do,” Ethari tells him mildly.

The flush returns, and Lain ducks his head. “Can you - uh - can you explain for me? Tell her it wasn’t my fault?”

“Why?” This time, Ethari can’t stop himself. He does smirk. Lain’s panic is too much. “I wasn’t there.  I don’t know what happened. Alternately, you could try to talk to her yourself like a normal person.”

“Yeah, but -” He swallows and twiddles his thumbs. “She won’t give me the time of day. You could at least like… soften her up or something. And then maybe she’ll actually listen to me.”

Ethari lets out a snort. “I’ll see what I can do,” he says, tugging his sleeve out of Lain’s grip.

(Oh, he’ll see all right. With any luck, they’ll be on more than just speaking terms by the end of the semester. Maybe then, he’ll finally have some peace and quiet in the halls).

[blueberrytater]

Chapter 2: First you get hurt, then you feel sorry...*repost*

sorry its been so long since an update, i took extra hours at work and then just lost inspiration for this fic but its back! a big thanks to sara, @kentvparsin for reading this over!! this has been reposted bc tumblr had an Issue and made my blog a whole error so

read on ao3 here! 

Before Alexei knew it, two weeks had gone by since Kent had moved in. Alexei still tries to make Kent feel welcome and help him in any way he can. He’ll make an extra lunch for Kent when Alexei makes his for work, he’ll put it in the fridge and leave a note so Kent knows it's for him. It’s been a week since he started that and every day when he comes back from work the note is still in its original spot and the food still in its container, untouched. Alexei doesn’t take it personally, though, he keeps making the food and if Kent doesn’t eat it then he’ll have lunch for the next few days made. Alexei also notices that Kent always has his door shut, no matter what and he tries his best to make sure  Alexei doesn’t look in there for too long. He understands the need for privacy but sometimes he’ll even shut Kit out of his room so Alexei will end up with her in his bed at night, which is fine, Alexei has grown fond of her. Alexei will feed her and pet her when Kent is in his room and locked her out for the time being. Kent after a little while will always call her back into his room and Alexei will hear a soft “I’m sorry, princess” before Kent’s door is shut once again.

Alexei gave up not worrying about Kent, so on the rare occasion that Kent is out of his room, he mentions to him that he can have friends over whenever he wants, to try and make him feel comfortable.

“Won’t bother me, I’m doing most work at school or room. Friends more than welcome.” Alexei smiles brightly at Kent, hoping that will ease some of his troubles.

Kent’s still tense and timid when he answers, “It’s alright, most of them live far away and the other are busy, usually.” He shrugs and heads back into his room. Alexei sighs, he’ll keep trying.

After his short conversation with Kent, a few days later he decides to head back to Bittle’s Bakery. When he was there the first time, he didn’t get a chance to try any of the food there and has regretted it ever since. He stops in right after he gets out of work, he needs some sweets to get through grading papers from his sophomores.

Stepping into the bakery, Alexei is hit with the smell of freshly baked goods and coffee brewing, it’s heaven on Earth after a long day. He walks over to the display case and begins to look over his choices.

The kitchen door opens and a blond man walks out, greeting Alexei, “Hi! Welcome to Bittle’s Bakery! Have you been here before?” Before Alexei could answer, the man began speaking again, “Oh! You’re Kent’s roommate right? You met here a few weeks ago? How is he settling in?”

Alexei assumes that this man and Kent were friends so he nods and says “Yes! Not sure how he is settling in, usually stays to himself. I’m knowing that Kit is comfortable, she sleeps with me sometimes.”

Alexei gives the man a smile while the man himself is frowning.“Would you mind if me and another one of Kent’s friends come over to see him? We’ve been bugging him about it forever and he’s always avoiding us.”

Alexei smiles and nods,”Yes, of course! I’m loving if you came over.”

The man grins brightly, “Great! I’m Eric by the way, everyone calls me Bitty though. Are you free now? Jack, Kent’s other friend, doesn’t get much free time so it would be hard to arrange.”Alexei agrees and waits while Bitty ran and got Jack. He thought about buying some sweets while he was waiting, but Bitty came back with another man in tow with boxes of desserts in his arms. “Is it close enough to walk or should we take a car?” The other man, that Alexei is one-hundred percent sure is Jack Zimmermann, but Alexei can freak out about that later, says.

“Is close enough to walk, about fifteen minutes.”

The group reaches the apartment in record time mainly because Alexei and Jack are trying to keep up with Bitty’s fast walking and talking. He’s telling Alexei a story about the time that one of his employees dropped all the pies he was carrying when Jack walked into the bakery the first time as they walked into the apartment.

“I felt so bad for the kid, I guess I should put a warning on the application, so others don’t get star-struck when y’all walk into the bakery.” Jack laughs at that and Alexei smiles as he shut the door behind him.

“Kent’s room is one at end of hall, not sure if he’s here or not, though, usually has door closed.” Alexei helps Jack move the sweets to the kitchen while Bitty walks determinedly to Kent’s door.

Jack and Alexei put the desserts away in silence until Jack clears his throat and says, “I just, uh, wanted to let you know that me and Bits think it’s really great of you to let Kent room with you. He’s going through a hard time right now, which you probably know, if you follow any hockey at all.”

Alexei nods, “I’m knowing about his injury, it’s no problem letting him stay here, he’s no bother.”

Jack opens his mouth to respond but they were interrupted by Bitty knocking loudly on Kent’s door and Kent swinging it open. Jack and Alexei rush over to the pair.

“What the fuck Bitty, why are you here? How did you even get in?”

Kent questions as Jack and Alexei get to them. “Well hello to you too, Kent Parson! We’re here because we wouldn’t even know you were alive if you didn’t like the bakery’s instagram posts every once in awhile! Plus, we wanted to see how you were settling in and see your room!” Bitty tried to push himself into the room, Kent had the door opened wide enough for him to stick his head and chest out. For a few minutes, Bitty kept repeatedly trying to push Kent away so he could open the door fully. Alexei thought it was a little funny, Bitty was smaller than Kent and seeing Bitty physically trying to check Kent out of the way and jumping until he knocked him down made Alexei want to laugh. When Bitty did move Kent and opened the door fully, Alexei didn’t want to laugh. Alexei and Jack walk to the threshold of Kent’s room while Bitty and Kent were fully in it. Alexei quickly looks around, there were boxes all throughout the room, looking the same from when Kent first moved in. His his suitcase laid open with clothes scattered around it. Jack steps into the room and walks over to Kent, asking Kent why he hasn’t unpacked any of his stuff. Alexei walks away and heads back to the kitchen, this was a private matter between Kent and his friends and he doesn’t need to be involved. Alexei wants to help Kent, help him not feel lonely and make him feel like he didn’t have to hide away in his room. He thought the first step was to make something for them to drink, his mama would have his head if she knew he didn’t prepare anything for guests to drink. He fills the kettle with some water and set it on the stove, he figures tea would help calm everyone down. He got plates and forks set out so they could also have some of the desserts that Bitty brought over. By the time Alexei had this all set up, the voices from Kent’s room got closer and the three of them were walking into the kitchen.

Bitty looks upset as he entered but quickly plastered a smile on when he sees what Alexei set up, “You’re too kind, Alexei, we’ll have to stay and have a piece of pie now with the tea that you made.” He caught Kent by the arm before he could make an escape back to his room.The pie is as delicious as he thought it would be and Alexei had a good time talking to Bitty and Jack. Kent ate his pie and drank his tea but didn’t say much in the conversation but he did smile a little bit when Jack was telling a story from when they were younger. When Bitty and Jack left, Alexei follows them out since he meant to do grocery shopping earlier in the day and he couldn’t put it off much longer. He also figured Kent would want some time alone after the evening's events.

When he gets back home, he notices the TV is on, he set his bags down in the kitchen and walks into the living room. Alexei goes to turn the TV off, but he spots Kent laying on the couch with Kit laying on his stomach.

“What are you watching?” Alexei asks.

Kent jumps, startled by Alexei talking,”Shit man, I didn’t even realize you walked in. I’ll, uh, get out of your way.”

Kent goes to stand up but Alexei shakes his head, “No, is okay. I’ll watch show with you.”

Alexei plops down on the couch and Kit makes her way over to him to sit on his lap.

Kent settles back into the couch and focuses on the show again, “I’m watching Parks and Rec but I can change it if you want.”

Alexei shook his head again,”No, is okay. I like this show.”

After that, the pair was quiet and focused on the show. Alexei turned and looked at Kent throughout and noticed the soft smile he had on his face, it made Alexei smile in return and it made him grin when the show made Kent laugh and Alexei decided he wanted to make Kent laugh and smile as much as possible.