#repeating myself a bit but like . backs up my post lmao

[c-kiddo]

oh hey. interview that talks a little more abt the asha and cad and the wildmother as something Hungry thats relevant to my post earlier .

just soo interesting to me how much hes going in on the thing of Asha specifically is a lean more towards cads wildmother. like this is just a further exploration of what he was doing with cad. especially because people can treat the wildmother or cad as quite one-note soft nature flowery granola hippies, but taliesins also like No his wildmother is straight up a wild animal

[genshinluvr]

Territorial

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader, Zhongli x Isekai'd!Reader x Neuvillette

Summary: Things seem to be going well when the men from Fontaine moved into the abode. Or at least that's what the others thought. You, however, can sense some tension between Zhongli and Neuvillette.

Note: How long has it been since I've posted something? A year? Over a year? Either way, I am somewhat back! Since I haven't posted fanfics in a long time, the new fanfics will be shorter compared to the previous fanfics. I'm slowly easing myself back into posting fanfics. This fic is most likely awful, but that's okay because it's been a while. Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: I haven't written in a while, so, it's probably a shit fanfic LMAO

Word Count: 4.5k

Ever since the men of Fontaine decided to move into the abode, things were relatively fine. The men got along with each other, and there have yet to be any arguments or physical altercations. Yet. However, you couldn’t help but notice a certain someone avoiding one of the new members of the abode. You weren’t sure if everyone noticed the brewing tension between an Archon and the Iudex, but it was subtle yet noticeable (to you). 

The men didn’t have an issue sharing your love, affection, and attention with the others. While there are certain men who can be quite possessive (Childe), it usually never gets out of hand. Or, at least, that’s what you thought. Zhongli has been clingy lately— not that you’re complaining, but it was a little bit unusual because he’s not publicly affectionate. Even if he is openly affectionate with you, it wouldn’t be overbearing. Okay, maybe overbearing isn’t the right word to describe it.

“Maybe territorial is the best way to describe it.” You mutter.

Zhongli hums beside you, looking over at you curiously. “Care to repeat that, dearest?”

You blink, snapping out of your thoughts before rubbing the back of your neck with a sheepish smile. “Oh, nothing! I was trying to find a word to describe a Rishboland Tiger for my word puzzle!” You gesture to the word puzzle book in front of you. 

Zhongli leans toward you, peering over your shoulders and at the word puzzle in front of you. His amber eyes scan the page as if he’s checking to see if you’re doing the puzzle correctly. Thankfully, you are! Zhongli hums, stroking the rim of his teacup, preoccupied with the puzzle book. You rub your eyes before glancing at the clock on the wall. It’s almost eight in the morning, and yet here you are! Usually, you’d be in bed, sleeping the morning away until someone forces you out of bed (the person forcing you to wake up is usually Al Haitham). 

“And territorial would be correct,” Zhongli nods, smiling at you, “you’re doing well.”

You smile shyly before covering your now very warm face with the word puzzle book. Zhongli chuckles, pressing a kiss on the side of your head before proceeding to stir his warm cup of tea. A comfortable silence falls over you and Zhongli. Aside from you and Zhongli, everyone is still asleep in their respective rooms. Well, aside from Childe and Wriothesley because the two men decided to become gym buddies who get up at ungodly hours to workout, spar, and box. Given Childe's past in Fontaine, you can’t help but find it slightly odd.

Heels clicking against the floors of the abode pulls you and Zhongli out of the comfortable silence. Zhongli lets out a long exhale through his nostrils before taking a long sip of his tea, looking elsewhere. You look to see Neuvillette standing at the entrance of the dining area, gazing at you and Zhongli with surprise.

“Good morning, [Y/N], … Archon,” Neuvillette says, stepping farther into the room.

You smile at Neuvillette, waving at the Iudex. “Morning, Neuvillette! I’m surprised to see that you’re awake around this time of day.”

Neuvillette chuckles, pulling a seat out from beside you before sitting. “I could say the same thing for you, [Y/N]. You’re never up this early, but today is different. Why?” Neuvillette looks at you intently. 

A look of surprise flashes across your face before you smile at the Fontainian man. “Zhongli asked me to join him for breakfast, and here I am!”

Neuvillette hums, nodding. “I see. Now, did Deus Auri rouse you from your slumber for breakfast, or was this initially planned the day before?” Neuvillette interrogates.

You blink at Neuvillette and turn to look at Zhongli, who looks visibly annoyed with the Iudex. Zhongli gives Neuvillette a tight-lipped smile before sipping his tea, unanswering Neuvillette’s question. Without you knowing, Neuvillette shoots a subtle glare at Zhongli while Zhongli continues to drink his tea, ignoring the discreet yet heated glare thrown his way. You clear your throat before turning towards Neuvillette, only to see him brushing a stray hair away from his face. 

You can’t help but admire Neuvillette’s long hair. His hair looks so soft, and you kind of want to run your fingers through them. “I wonder what kind of hair products he uses. His hair looks so silky and healthy.”

“Oh, nothing special in particular. If you like to know what I use for my hair care routine, I can show you.” Neuvillette suggests. 

You stare at Neuvillette owlishly, mouth agape. “Did I say that out loud?”

Neuvillette smiles and takes a sip from his chalice while you’re sputtering and looking over at the Funeral Consultant with wide eyes. Should you reply to Neuvillette’s offer? But he has a hair care routine! Wait, if he has a hair care routine, is it possible that Neuvillette might have a skincare routine? Your hand starts to tremble— not out of fear, but excitement and a bit of anxiousness because you accidentally said your thoughts out loud.

Zhongli stares at Neuvillette before placing a hand over your trembling ones. “To answer your question, Monsieur Neuvillette, I invited [Y/N] to breakfast the day prior,” Zhongli says, grabbing Neuvillette’s attention. “Isn’t that right, dearest?”

You smile and nod. “That is correct! Zhongli invited me to breakfast yesterday afternoon! We walked around the abode, watched the sunrise, and here we are!” You gesture to the table happily. 

Neuvillette presses his lips in a thin line, nodding. The three of you continue to sit in silence in the dining room, listening to birds sing in the distance. The more you continue with the puzzle book, the more you become confused. You start to bounce your right leg, tapping the pencil against the booklet, staring at number fifty. 

“How the hell did I get into the Akademiya when I’m struggling with this damn puzzle?” You mumble to yourself.

“The answer is Fortress of Meropide,” Neuvillette says, his voice right next to your ear. 

You pause and look at Neuvillette, freezing, when you realize how close your faces are. You can’t help but notice Neuvillette briefly looking down at your lips before making eye contact with you. If your face wasn’t feeling hot already, then it is now. The longer you gaze into Neuvillette’s eyes, the more you realize how breathtaking he is. 

“You have long lashes.” You mutter.

Before Neuvillette can respond, Zhongli clears his throat loudly. Your eyes quickly dart to your puzzle book, breaking eye contact with the handsome and breathtaking Iudex of Fontaine. Fortress of Meropide, huh? You scribble down the answers, and lo and behold, the words fit into the small boxes perfectly. 

You press your lips into a thin line, looking at Neuvillette from the corner of your eyes. “Thank you for helping me,” you whisper.

Neuvillette hums softly, taking a sip of water from the chalice. “You’re welcome. If you need any other assistance, I am more than happy to help.” Neuvillette says.

The clock ticks away, and you find yourself in another comfortable silence. Only this time, the silence isn’t as comfortable as before. Is Zhongli sitting much closer to you than he was a few minutes ago? Neuvillette keeps glancing over your shoulders, watching you write the answers in the boxes. It’s almost like both men are glaring at each other when you're not looking (they are, but you’re trying your best to act like you didn’t notice the ever-growing tension between the two refined men).

The door to the abode suddenly bursts open, and Wriothesley and Childe enter, drenched in sweat and with a towel around their necks. Childe and Wriothesley stop at the entrance, looking at the three of you with surprise.

Childe points an accusing finger at you three, “Why are you two all up in my snookum’s space?” Childe marches over, huffing and puffing about Zhongli and Neuvillette's lacking manners when being around you— his precious snookums who can do no wrong in his eyes. Wriothesley rolls his eyes, chuckling while wiping the sweat from his forehead with the white towel around his neck.

“Geez, Childe, you can’t hog them to yourself,” Wriothesley mutters, watching the ginger-haired man snatch you up from your seat. 

You’re thrashing in Childe’s arms, swatting at him while muttering how sweaty he is. Childe ignores your protest and drapes his arms around your shoulders, burying his face into your hair. You shudder, feeling his sweaty skin stick to yours— almost melting and becoming your second skin. 

Your nose scrunches up with disgust when you catch a whiff of his sweat. “You’re sweaty and smelly. Go take a shower,” you order, patting his head— only to regret it immediately. 

Childe shakes his head, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “How can I shower in peace when I witnessed my snookums sandwiched between two men who aren’t me?” Childe looks up from your neck, glaring at Zhongli and Neuvillette, who, in return, glare back at him. 

You poke Childe’s forehead. “Can you let go of me? I have a puzzle to finish.”

Childe shakes his head. “I’m not letting go of you until you return my hug, snookums.”

Sometimes, you underestimate Childe’s stubbornness and clinginess. It’s not like you don’t want to hug him! You love his hugs! However, you have an issue with hugging people when you or that person is sweaty— you don’t know why, but you don’t like it and cannot tolerate the feeling of stickiness. You grumble under your breath and reluctantly wrap your arms around Childe’s waist, squeezing your eyes shut when you feel Childe’s sweat seep through his shirt. Childe sighs happily and peppers your face with kisses, making sure to make it loud enough for the others to hear the obnoxious smooching noises. 

“That’s enough, Childe,” Zhongli says sternly, glaring at Childe from where he’s sitting.

Neuvillette huffs, swishing the water in his chalice while muttering, “Have some decorum, Harbinger.”

Childe pauses what he’s doing and glances over at Zhongli and Neuvillette. The two men shoot daggers in Childe’s direction, and Childe can see the veins on their foreheads threatening to pop. With a shit-eating grin, Childe proceeds to do what he was doing earlier— suffocate you with his kisses in front of the very irritated Zhongli and Neuvillette and an amused Wriothesley.

Wriothesley shakes his head, snorting, “He’s just fucking with you two, and you two are letting him win.”

Zhongli and Neuvillette don’t respond afterward; they only continue to glare at Childe from the corners of their eyes. After some time, Childe finally releases you from his sweaty grasp, though not before placing one last sloppy kiss on your face. You give Childe a tight-lipped smile before debating whether you should take a shower or continue your puzzle book.

“Snookums~!” Childe whines, sniffling dramatically.

Wriothesley rolls his eyes with a snort. “You’re even clingier than [Y/N] claimed,” Wriothesley smirks, pushing himself away from the counter before sauntering to where you stand.

You look at Wriothesley, suddenly feeling on edge. Why is he suddenly approaching you with that smug grin on his face? Is he up to something? Wriothesley pushes Childe to the side, causing the ginger-haired man to stumble and glare at the Duke. 

Before Wriothesley can say anything, you hold up an index finger. “What are you up to?” you ask cautiously.

Wriothesley laughs, his laughter sending tingles down your spine. “I’m just testing something. Relax for me,” He murmurs. 

You audibly gulp, causing the man before you to let out an airy laugh, his canines shining under the dining room lights. Wriothesley, now standing three feet in front of you, gestures to you to step forward with his index and middle finger. You inch forward, feeling multiple eyes on the back of your head as you get closer to Wriothesley. 

Once you’re standing in front of Wriothesley, you look anywhere but his face, worrying the smug smile will send you to your knees. Noticing your lack of eye contact, Wriothesley gently grabs you by the chin, tilting your head up. Archons, is the dining room hot, or is it just you? Wriothesley gazes into your eyes, the corner of his lips quirking up. With his free hand, Wriothesley caresses your cheek before chuckling. “My, my. Your face is quite hot. Are you feeling alright, dollface?” 

“You’re up to something, I just know it,” You whisper, narrowing your eyes at him.

Wriothesley chuckles, leans down, and murmurs into your ears, “As I said earlier, I’m just testing something. Do you trust me?” His breath fans your ear and the side of your face, causing goosebumps to form on your body.

He’s up to something, and the alarms are going off in your head. You’re not worried about what Wriothesley is up to! What you’re worrying about is how Childe (and Neuvillette and Zhongli) are going to react to what Wriothesley is going to do. Wriothesley leans down toward your neck, catching a whiff of your lotion and body wash. “Hmm, you smell nice. Are you wearing the lotion I bought for you while I was away in Fontaine?” He pulls away and gazes at you with curiosity, his head tilting to the side.

You can’t help but melt under his gaze. You gulp again, nodding your head. Wriothesley nods and pulls away from you. Wriothesley strokes his chin, gazing at you intently. You can’t help but squirm under Wriothesley’s piercing stare. He suddenly places both beside your neck, tilting your head to the side.

“Good. It makes me happy to know you’re wearing something I got for you. I’ll get you more the next time I return to Fontaine for work,” Wriothesley nods.

Your eyes widen, and you quickly shake your head. “No, no! You don’t have to get me anything, Wriothesley! I insist!” You protest, placing your right hand over his left.

Zhongli clears his throat, grabbing your and Wriothesley’s attention. If Zhongli hadn’t been annoyed already, then he certainly is now. Wriothesley clears his throat before walking away— but not without kissing the side of your head. Zhongli sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering incoherent words to himself. You swallow the lump in your throat before sitting back down. 

Neuvillette hums, stroking his chin. “There is a rather compelling trial that is being held at the Opera Epiclese. Your thoughts and presence would be most welcome should you wish to observe the proceedings alongside me.”

Your eyes light up, and you gasp with excitement. “Ooh, I can!? I would love to join you, Neuvillette!” You squeal, clapping your hands.

It’s not like you’re excited to see someone get possibly executed— what you’re looking forward to is being able to witness how trails take place in Fontaine. Instead of witnessing the trial from behind your computer screen, you get to see it with your very own eyes! 

Zhongli clears his throat. “Dearest, I must remind you that you have some projects to turn in today at the Akademiya.”

Your eyes widen, and the pencil in your hand clatters on the table. Wait, what project!? You have projects to turn in at the Akademiya!? You rack through your brain, trying to recall if you really did have projects that need to be submitted. 

Neuvillette narrows his eyes at Zhongli, raising an eyebrow with skepticism. Zhongli ignores Neuvillette’s stare and proceeds to sip from his teacup. Right when you’re about to open your mouth to question Zhongli, Al Haitham enters the dining room, dressed and ready for the day. 

You sigh in relief, push yourself up from your seat, and stride to the Scribe. “Al Haitham! Can you help me jog my memory really quick?”

Al Haitham raises his eyebrows at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course. What is it that you need me to assist you with?”

“I agreed to go watch today’s trial proceeding in Fontaine with Neuvillette, but Zhongli reminded me that I have a project to submit to the Akademiya today. My issue is that I cannot recall whether I do have a project to submit,” you explain, crossing your arms over your chest while tapping your foot on the ground impatiently. 

Al Haitham strokes his chin, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to recall any conversations he had with you regarding your upcoming deadlines with the Akademiya. Al Haitham nods wordlessly. You deflate and collapse to your knees, lying on the ground while sulking. 

“Eh? What happened to Windblume? They look heartbroken and defeated,” Venti says, strutting into the dining room while smoothing over the wrinkles on his shirt. “Was breakfast with blockhead disappointing?” Venti jokes, propping his hands on his hips.

You sigh and shake your head. You can’t be disappointed about the project submission preventing you from attending the Opera Epiclese with Neuvillette. Your project determines the fate of your future with the Akademiya, and you certainly cannot push the deadline back. Plus, you can’t be upset with Zhongli for reminding you of something so important. 

Venti extends his hands toward you; you grab his hands and stand up. You waddle over to the table and plop down between Zhongli and Neuvillette while sulking over missing the opportunity to witness a trial in person. 

You turn to Neuvillette, visibly disappointed, “Thank you for the invite, Neuvillette. I truly appreciate it, but I must decline your invitation due to pressing deadlines.”

Neuvillette’s gaze softens, reaching for your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You do not need to apologize, darling. There’s always a next time,” he smiles at you, “If you’d like, perhaps I can make some dinner reservations just for you and me.”

A hand slams down on the table, startling everyone in the room. If the others aren’t awake, they certainly are now. You look over where the commotion is from, only to see Childe huffing and puffing with a pout. Oh, Archons, you forgot Childe is still in the same room. 

“Snookums! How can you forget about me?” Childe whines.

You laugh nervously and rub the back of your neck with your unoccupied hand. You give Neuvillette and Zhongli a sympathetic look before getting ready to leave your seat to comfort Childe. Before you can stand up, Zhongli grabs your other hand and gently pushes you down, shaking his head.

“No need to console him, dearest,” Zhongli says, shooting a pointed look in Childe’s direction.

Childe puckers his lips and groans, turning around and stomping away. You sigh for the umpteenth time, resting your head on the table. Zhongli and Neuvillette both squeeze your hand to comfort you.

Since that day, things have been getting worse between the two men when you’re in the same room as the duo. Whenever you try to make time with Neuvillette, Zhongli would take that chance to tag along. Now, you’re not against Zhongli tagging along with you, but you’re sort of worried about his safety because of the look Neuvillette would throw in Zhongli’s direction. You’re not sure if the men aren’t aware that you can sense the tension between them, but if they do, they don’t seem to care about it. A week (or has it been two weeks?) passes by, and you’re eating dinner with the men in the dining room.

Usually, there isn’t assigned seating at the dining table since you want to be able to sit next to every person in the abode without leaving a single person out. But for some reason, not long after the men from Fontaine moved into the abode, Zhongli and Neuvillette decided that the empty seats beside you (anywhere you sit at the dining table, pretty much) were theirs to claim.

“But Onikabuto booboo bear! I want you to sit next to me this time!” Itto whines, laying the top half of his body on the table while giving you puppy dog eyes, his bottom lips jutting out before fake crying.

Neuvillette raises his eyebrows at Itto beside you, stroking his chin. “Onikabuto booboo bear? Is that supposed to be a nickname for [Y/N]?” Neuvillette murmurs.

Itto stops his act and looks at the Iudex with excitement, nodding rapidly. Itto quickly removes himself from the table before running over to your side of the table (which took a while because the table is quite long). Once he arrives at your side of the table where you, Zhongli, and Neuvillette are sitting, Itto pulls out an empty seat beside Neuvillette and plops down with a heavy sigh.

“In case you haven’t been, uh, informed about how things work around here…” Itto trails off, scratching his head as he tries to find the right words to say, “We,” he gestures to the men in the dining room, “have pet names for our sweet Onikabuto booboo bear.”

Itto places both hands on his hips; a smug smile graces his face. You snicker and shake your head. Zhongli wraps his arms around your waist and plants a kiss on your cheek, ignoring the looks Neuvillette and Childe are giving him. 

“Oh? Please do tell me more about this, Itto. I have been calling [Y/N] “darling,” are we supposed to have a unique nickname for them?” Neuvillette asks, tilting his head while looking at Itto with pure curiosity.

Itto blinks at the Iudex with wide eyes, “Uh…” he trails off, scratching the back of his head before looking over in your and Zhongli’s direction. “Not really. I guess it depends on preferences! I call them Onikabuto booboo bear because, well, I love Onikabutos almost as much as I love [Y/N]! As for the booboo bear part, I wanted it to be unique for them and only for them. Heh, I bet other people on Teyvat wouldn’t be able to come up with someone as interesting and unique as the nickname I give to my Onikabuto booboo bear!” 

You can’t help but melt at Itto’s response. You know that Itto loves his Onikabutos, and hearing his explanation of the nickname he gave you makes you feel so warm and soft inside. You pull away from Zhongli’s grasp, get up from your seat, and walk over to Itto. You wrap your arms around Itto’s shoulders and rest your left cheek on his head, stroking his hair.

“You’re too sweet, Itto. You’re going to make me cry,” you coo, reaching down to pinch his cheek.

Itto’s face turns bright red as he mumbles incoherent words. Noticing the look that Zhongli and Neuvillette shoot in his direction, an idea pops into his head. Itto wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles his face into your chest, making sure not to accidentally poke you with his horns.

Kaveh huffs, propping his head on his elbow. “Hey, Abyss Mage, how come you give them more attention than the rest of us?”

“They love me more, that’s why!” Itto shouts, sticking his tongue out at the miffed architect. Neuvillette lifts his hand to say something, but Itto quickly stands up and lifts you from the ground. “Ha! They’re mine now, losers!” 

“Wha— Itto!” You screech when Itto takes off with you in his arms.

How Itto runs away with you in his arms reminds you of a mother cat carrying her kitten, but in this case, it’s Itto carrying you. The men stand up, shouting at Itto and groaning as they watch the Oni sprint out of the dining room with you while laughing manically. 

Baizhu chuckles, rubbing his temples as he watches the other men leave their seats to chase after you and Itto while shouting profanities. “I’ll be getting the first aid kit, just in case something happens,” Baizhu says, getting up from his seat to go to the infirmary area of the abode. 

You should’ve known that Itto is a magnet for trouble, but while he’s running up the stairs with you in his arms, his feet slip, sending you two tumbling down the stairs. While Neuvillette’s tending to your injuries with Baizhu, Zhongli scolds the pouting Oni.

Neuvillette caresses your face in his hands, “Are you alright? You took a hard tumble down the stairs, and I’m worried about the possibility of you sustaining some injuries.”

“I mean, my arm does hurt, but—”

“Do you guys hear that?” Thoma asks.

Everyone in the room pauses, listening closely. There’s a soft pitter-patter sound coming from the roof. The sound isn’t loud, but it’s noticeable if you sit in a quiet room and listen closely. You continue to rub the arm you landed on, trying to decipher what’s making the pitter-patter noise.

“Is it raining?” Tighnari strokes his chin, heading towards the nearest window, while Aether runs toward the window. 

Scaramouche raises his eyebrows at Tighnari, crossing his arms over his chest. “Since when can it rain in the abode? Maybe you’re hearing things that aren’t correlated with the weather.”

Tighnari ignores Scaramouche’s comment and stands beside Aether in front of the window. Aether peeks from between the curtains before turning to everyone else in the room with wide eyes.

“It can rain in the abode?” Aether asks.

You furrow your eyebrows and get up from your spot, clutching your throbbing arm to your chest. Zhongli places a gentle hand on your shoulder, accompanying you to the window. 

Ayato hums, tapping his chin while watching the raindrops pelt the window. “I never knew that the abode can have such weather. It seems like the rain is getting heavy.”

“Now that I think about it, I believe that it has been a bit gloomier these past few weeks,” you murmur, staring at the dark gray skies from the comfort of the estate with the men who care about you.

The men look at Zhongli before looking over at Neuvillette, who ignores the others' burning holes in his head as he drinks his water elegantly. Zhongli lightly taps your shoulder to grab your attention. You look at Zhongli quizzically while he examines your injured arm with discontentment. 

A small smile appears on Zhongli’s face as he caresses your cheek with one hand. “Let’s get your injury checked. I’m sure Doctor Baizhu has yet to complete the examination.”

Lightning crackling across the sky and thunder filling the air startles everyone in the abode. The heavy rain seems to have gotten worse, and it doesn’t seem like it’ll get better any time soon. Aether clears his throat and gets between you and Zhongli with a polite yet awkward smile. “I’ll take [Y/N] to see Doctor Baizhu, Mister Zhongli.”

Before Zhongli can respond, Aether quickly whisks you away while avoiding the stares from Zhongli and Neuvillette. Baizhu and Aether rush you to another room while the men remain in the same spot, not moving a limb.

Dottore snorts, shaking his head, “Who knew these two men are childish.”

Neuvillette and Zhongli glare at Dottore. A tree branch knocks against the living room window as the rain pelts the roof and window. 

Note: Finally posted something after so long! 😭 The fanfic is most likely awful, but I kind of want to make a part two for it, but I'm not entirely sure if I should. Man, since this is posted, now I have to plan what else to post... aside from the HSR fanfics. I think I'll post a fanfic for HSR instead of Genshin this upcoming week, but I'm not entirely sure. I might change my mind, but who knows. Anywho! To all my new and returning readers, keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

I didn't initially plan on have a taglist for this fic, but since someone requested to be tagged in this fic, I will tag them! Taglist for this fic: @rubyninja1

Read more of my works on my Masterlist / Masterlist 2 | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[giveafike]

Hiii i love your dominic fike works :,) and i was wondering if you’d write a nsfw alphabet for ben shelton? preferably fem reader but if you think something else would work better then that’s cool too 🤞

TLDR: NSFW alphabet! I borrowed the format from other NSFW alphabets I've seen round here.

Warnings + Content Ahead: fem reader! NSFW, Minors DNI! There's a bit of everything in here, mentions of cum, light bondage, throatplay, fingering, masturbation, oral sex, thighriding, toys, moaning if that's anything to warn about - just read w caution if NSFW is a touchy subject! Nothing too crazy or wild here.

Azzie Notes ✚: !!! Bro, tell me why there’s actually no NSFW Ben content here?? And he’s literally so hot?? I was losing my mind during Laver Cup and now I’m losing it after seeing the sleeve on his left arm at Japan Open.

Anyways, this should go wo saying: all assumptions and guesses, girl idfk anything!!! I’m just daydreaming!! I hope I don’t repeat myself too much throughout this but erm..yeah! Enjoy!

P.S. IJBOL I'm writing this while watching Fils v Shelton rn pls im so unsrs. Do send in requests! I have a couple of ADORABLEEE ANON BEN REQS AND IM SCREAMINGGG send more, im so feral for a cute moment. The support and reception I got on my big old long Ben post has been so sweet, you all are so sweet bless u all 😽

————————————————————————

NSFW Alphabet - B.T.S.

A: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I'd like to think Ben is very caring after sex, he acts first before he says anything. Things like asking if you're okay, if he was good for you, fetching some water for you, (carrying you if you can't walk after bc let's be honest here...you prob can’t walk after all that) ahem, ordering food and getting you comfy first - just a bunch of acts of service before he settles down and smothers you in kisses all over your face and shoulders and mumbling i-love-yous. He'd play with your hair with a lazy smile and smitten eyes and tell you that you're amazing and how much he cares for you and how he loves to show you just how much he loves you.

B: body part (their fave body part on their own body + fave body part on your body)

Ben knows he's handsome and he def knows what he's does to us lmao, but I think what he loves most on his own body would be his arms and his abs. Not only is it a testament to his hard work and dedication to tennis and training, but seeing how you'd react when you get a glimpse of his slick, sweaty abs halfway through a game would make him go feral. But what he loves even more is when you hold onto his bicep when you're out together, or how you dig your nails into his shoulders when he's deep in you.

If I'm being fr I think Ben is a "bit of everything" rather than an ass/boobs guy. If you are out in public, he has his arm thrown over your shoulder or tight at your waist, or you're holding onto his arm. In private, I think he loves you siting on his lap for movie nights, holding your hips while you ride him, palming your breasts when you're making out with him, tapping your ass when he walks by you, rubbing his hand over you thighs and planting soft kisses up and down your legs - like, he loves every inch of you all the time and BAD. He shows it so clearly with his deeds, he just can't keep his hands off of you. He sees you as nothing but perfect and worships you with his hands and lips.

C: cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think when you first experiment together, he wouldn't want to cum on your face, but instead would do it on your back after doggy or on your chest or your stomach, or finish off in your mouth - something about seeing you a bit messy and decorated in his cum would turn him on even after he came. But over time and with trust, he'd find himself obsessed with finishing in you. The feeling of you both reaching your climaxes together in full height would drive him crazy - knowing he was the only one able to fill you the way he does and having your mixed arousal pool out of you was just another realm of pleasure.

Ben would be a fan of having you ride his face until you couldn't handle it anymore. Something about his face being soaked with your cum while you moan and grind down on him over and over again, and then seeing you lie down beside him afterwards with half-lidded eyes and shivering after all that would be more than enough to get him off. Same sentiment for fingering too, he'd be so pleased seeing your arousal coating his fingers, like seeing just how worked up you are for him every time would be unbelievable to him each and every time.

D: dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ben's into car sex. But especially if you're going somewhere special. Something about dressing up for an event/date and getting his sexy partner into his sexy sports car would drive him wild with the idea of pulling you over to the driver seat and having you ride him right then and there.

I think he's also into you trying to take control or being a brat just so he can flip it around and put you in your place - especially with some spanking or teasing, making you beg for permission to cum - nothing extreme just enough to make you whimper and submit 🙂‍↕️.

E: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I don't think Ben has tons of experience imo. He went to college for a bit but he's only 22 with a demanding schedule and doesn't seem to have much dating history either. I feel like he's too focused on himself, his family and friends and his career to be hooking up and going crazy with experimenting. In saying that, he definitely knows what he likes and needs and he can learn quick too.

F: favorite position (this goes without saying)

I think Ben would loveeee holding you in his strong arms as he fucks into you, it'd be so intimate and precious in his eyes, watching your face contort with every thrust and hearing your soft moans roll out right into his ear. He’d want you to keep your eyes locked on his but you’d keep rolling them back in pleasure. He’d love groping your ass or boobs while he held you like that. Ben would also be into doggy, like your face and arms pressed down on the mattress while he holds your hips or grips your hair, bundling it into a very messy ponytail and tugging when he feels himself getting close.

G: goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

We all know Ben's a silly, goofy guy so I believe he wouldn’t be opposed or unlikely to let out a few chuckles with you. It'd be something as silly as him struggling to unclasp your bra or him accidentally slipping out of you that would earn a few small giggles from the both of you. Or maybe you're both drunk and having giggly, sweet sex - just whispering affections, foreheads pressed together, unable to hold in your pure, raw love for each other. It wouldn't ever be out of malice or anything, it would just be how comfortable you two were with each other.

H: hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think Ben has it trimmed but not bare. He has a little happy trail down that's dark and curly so I imagine it to be the same below too.

I: intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I imagine him to be so intimate and loving. He wants to hear how good you feel, he'll make you talk to him, beg for him. He definitely mixes praise with degradation but on top of all, he loves calling you his - "my pretty slut", "my beautiful mess" , "my girl". He loves making you beg and plead for him, holds your chin and makes you look up at him and plead him to touch you over and over again before he finally gives in and gives his all. He definitely loves taking his time when he can, making sure he doesn’t skimp out on anything and make sure you can feel his pure love for you in every action.

He def would love to have a whole ambiance going; candles, fresh flowers, a bubble bath, fresh sheets, a new lingerie set for you, soft music playing, maybe even try to make a meal for you too and it wouldn't be for special days, sometimes it would be "just because". He loves to tell you that he loves you and would try his absolute best to show it too, through kisses and roaming hands all over your body and trying to make you feel like you're the only girl in the world, because to him you really are.

J: jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He loves you, just thinking about you lying in bed waiting for him would help him get off, thinking of your moans, your voice in bed begging and encouraging him, the way you look at him and hold onto him like he’s your rock; he'd be close to cumming off of the idea of you alone.

If you let him, he'd have a private album of photos and videos of you two together that he'd watch while he's on tour to help him get off, and of course he'd text you right after (sometimes with pictures of the mess he made too) telling you how much he loves and misses you, your touch and your body. If you had the time, he'd also call you while on tour and have phone sex, talking dirty to you and guiding you the entire time and watching how your face and breathy moans through the phone. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and masturbating together while away only meant that sex together would be even more intense and intimate when you reunite.

K: kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ben's huge (both height, strength and well ..size..) so seeing how you take him and how soft you look in comparison to him is a massive kink for him. That size kink of his drives him wild.

I can see light bondage or restraints as a kink too, pinning you down with his hands or using soft cloths to tie your hands together, maybe even covering your mouth or holding your throat for light breathplay at times too.

I think he'd lose it over being told how good he feels and being praised in that sense. Like I said before, he'd love mixing praise and degradation and showing you that you’re his girl, no one else's. He'd love getting you off more than anything as well.

L: location (favorite places to do the do)

In no particular order: his car, the bedroom, the living room, kitchen - hell, even the bathroom right by the sink - anywhere where he can have you all to himself for as long as possible.

I don't think he'd try anything super public, like in a changing room, but if you're both desperate and horny, maybe in a personal gym or locker room for a quickie every now and then but there will be a round 2 when you get back to your bedroom for sure.

M: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Like I said, he loves you more than anything, literally anything you say or do would get him going. Say the word and Ben is yours and at your service.

Seeing you acting coy or feigning innocence when you’re purposefully turning him on (whether that’s by wearing his favourite sundresses or a new pair of lingerie he bought abroad, “accidentally” touching him through his pants, saying/texting something dirty in his ear while he’s supposed to be focused, list goes on) would arouse him too, especially since he gets to teach you a lesson.

N: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I expect him to be the jealous type, he wouldn't want to share you with anyone or have anyone else invited for your intimate time together. He wouldn't want to hurt you or do anything you were uncomfortable with; he'd put you first in everything.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves to recieve, loves to give. When you're giving him head, he holds your hair back and wants to see your pretty eyes so badly, might allow you to play with your clit as you hollow out your cheeks for him. Gently asks you to try to take him all and loves hearing the lewd gagging noises as you try to deepthroat him when you hit the back of your throat. He loves having you suck his balls too or run your tongue over his tip and down the veins of his length. He genuinely sees stars when you're working away on him.

He loves to play with you when he gives you head. Teasing licks or humming as he eats you out just to send shivers down your spine. Uses his fingers and tongue to get you off. Once he's in a rhythm and is actually eating you out, he can't help but keep going which only makes you come undone over and over and over again. He thinks you’re delicious and loves watching you writhe for him and grip his curls.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

After tour, I think Ben would try to pace himself and make slow, deep love to you, once again trying to show you just how much he missed every single part and inch of you. Obviously, at a certain point, he'd lose his composure and his eagerness would get the better of him as he quickens his pace but he'd shower you with kisses while he does so.

After a frustrating game, he'd be fast and hold you close to him as he works at a relentless pace (nothing you wouldn't be able to handle, ofc). Lots of hair tugging, spanking, positions, marks and hickeys come with that too. He'd thank you and kiss you over your marks and hickeys after, gently massaging the skin he spanked and having lazy makeouts with you before you both find yourself falling asleep after all that.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies with Ben would be frequent as he just can't help himself! Sometimes in the mornings before practice, you'd have lazy, sloppy, sweet morning sex that always put you to sleep right after.

Maybe even in between practice and his actual games - where he'd bend you over the sofa or the kitchen table, even prop you up against the shower wall when he's supposed to be focusing on the game ahead of him - whatever or wherever it was, those quickies would have you moaning his name in no time, he knew just how to work you right.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I didn't want to mention the locker rooms or personal gyms in the quickie section because i was saving it for this hehe 😝. Ben wouldn't risk doing it if it meant someone would actually probably walk in, he'd only want to have sex with you if you were comfortable to and if it meant it would be uninterrupted.

I imagine Ben making you spread in front of him as you sit on a bench while he kneels to eat you out, covering your mouth or making you suck his fingers to stifle your noise, so you don't get caught.

I think if he was really into it, Ben might even go as far as to buying those remote control vibrators that he can control, just to watch you squirm for him in the stands during his matches or while you were out together for some errands. He'd only take it as far as you wanted to go, though ofc.

s= stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Well, I just watched Ben battle Fils for 3 hours straight at the Japan Open while getting his leg hurt - I think he's got plenty of stamina so long as you can take it. He'd always ask for "one more?" in the sweetest softest voice, especially after you spent time away from each other.

t= toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd love seeing how you squirm with vibrators and try buy cutesy toys like fluffy cuffs or a small pink handheld vibrator for you to use while on tour (and to use while on video call with him). I don't think Ben would know much about toys for himself, but if you brought the idea up, he'd try anything for you.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

LOVES to make you beg for just how much you want him. "Say please", "what do you want exactly? Use your words baby, I know you can", "You want more? beg for it", "look at me with those pretty eyes and ask. me. again". And he'd work you up so much, just to say no and watch you pout and beg even more. Ben loves to be in charge and on top, knowing you were in the palm of his hand (when really, he was wrapped around your finger).

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not too loud, he groans and grunts in your ear and lets out a few gasps and curse words out alongside his mix of praise and degradation and i-love-yous. He's vocal with telling you what he wants or needs more of, what feels good and how you feel.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves, loves, LOVES you riding his thigh. He'll casually ask you to sit on his lap and watch a movie and both of you knew full well what was going to go down. Loves feeling you grinding desperately against his thigh and seeing you become a mess for a bit of friction. (I'm in the midst of writing smth about thigh riding just u wait 🤭)

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

If a picture paints a thousand words, look at the pics I've attached and look REAL close. He's called Big Ben for a reason babe.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is only on full blast for you. He's constantly hungry for more of you, can't get enough. Like I said, he's whipped for you.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He would hold you tight, make sure you're not hungry or thirsty or uncomfortable before you went to sleep. If something upset you, he'd make sure he understood and talked it out so he wouldn't ever do it again, you're his main priority in everything. If you were sore after, he'd apologise smiling (his ego and pride obv through the roof) and gently massage your thighs and hips, planting soft kisses on your forehead.

He'd hold you til you fell asleep and then he'd fall asleep almost immediately after, knowing you were happy and loved in his arms.

and now we go and pray after all this 🧎‍♀️😽

[reallyhardydraws]

2023.

i hope any of you reading this will forgive the essay. i started posting to this art blog ten years ago in 2013 when i was just at the very end of high school, uploading short animations i'd made for one of my final projects, preparing myself for art school where i was gearing up to become an illustration/animation student.

i went into my art foundation course in 2014, still thinking i was going to be going into storybook illustration or with faint hopes of becoming like a concept artist for game/animation, although even then i'd started thinking about patterns...

and then in 2015 i did go into my BA, going in for that illustration with animation degree that... usually when i talk about it in real life, i say didn't really feel like the best place for me. if i think back, the best things i got out of it were two of my best friends, one of whom is now my partner. looking back on my BA era, there's some bits of sketchbook stuff...

and while i was at university my main fandoms were thunderbirds are go and x-men for a bit... these are from the end of 2015 into the beginning of 2016...

then for a little while i was doing this still sort of pastel-ish lineless situation:

and i alternated between that and this thin fineliner type work (pretty sure all of the linearted pieces were done on paper and scanned, and all the lineless were graphics-tablet-only) - it was in this style that i started to offer commissions for the first time too.

and i also had fineliner-lined work in sketchbooks that i coloured with marker and posca pens, the colours of which were generally a bit more intense just based on not being able to slide the hue/saturation around on paper:

also 2016 was when i discovered the spongebob musical just after it's trial run in chicago (which ended in july of 2016) and i started making fanart at that point... which would have the biggest effect on the way i drew (and i did end up handing in a piece of spongebob musical fanart as one of my art school homeworks lmao)

from summer 2016 until early 2017 things were still quite soft and pastelly in my digital art, colour-wise:

and then suddenly everything got whacked up to 100% on saturation. also i was using the binary tool to give everything really thin pixel lineart for some reason.

then i went on vacation in summer 2017 and didn't draw for maybe a month? just short of? and when i came back i decided to change everything up again... giving characters blobbier, more ugly-cute faces with large squinting eyes and big nostrils and i was worrying a lot less about making anything look smooth, lineart-wise. i turned off the pen stabiliser in SAI and let it wiggle.

then... the spongebob musical opened on broadway in late 2017, i went to see it live in person for the first time... and my whole brain was ENTIRELY consumed by my love of it. i was putting that david zinn inspired pattern explosion into everything, even if it wasn't sbm fanart.

as we go into 2018, i started colouring my lineart. my biggest interest was still broadway musicals (with spongebob at the top of the list)

i think summer 2017 - early 2018 is probably my favourite art era, i was at my most bright and colourful and exciting... although i know in my actual real life i was struggling a lot with my home situation and i had been for some time. art was definitely my escapism back then, and i think a lot of the time i drew really bright, joyful stuff to try and inject that feeling into myself.

as for my university work, i was putting my focus into 3D paper-mache puppets:

and i was also starting to do more repeat patterns, mostly inspired by things around me. i'd learned how to make patterns actually tile and repeat in 2017, so made a few during my time at uni just to accompany some of my projects, but never as the focus of them. one of my university tutors told me that maybe i should put more focus on doing surface pattern, and maybe applying it to textiles, but i said i wasn't interested.

i graduated from my BA in the summer of 2018, and immediately began volunteering at the whitworth art gallery doing anything i could - stewarding, helping with arts and crafts, dancing with families...

in 2019 i was still very colourful... i was trying out more chunky colouring on characters skintones that i think was def inspired by tumblr artist jadenvargen:

but the blobbyness and ugly-cute style of drawing faces was gone by here, and i think... the way i drew characters probably had better *anatomy*, proportions were maybe a bit more realistic...

in 2020 i started adding the black shading to under the chins and some other places on characters' bodies because i started watching the anime my hero academia with my brother, lmao (and i was starting to pastelise colours a bit again, these are the most pastel-ish examples) my lineart has really smoothed back out too, though i never turned my pen stabiliser back on in SAI. i think my hand just adjusted. probably seems a bit insane to miss that, but i do.

by the end of 2020, the almost-year of lockdown over cobid had... made me a bit insane, i think, and i moved out of my mother's house and into a flat with a friend from university.

in 2021 i think things were much the same... i think from this point on is where things have sort of settled. i don't want to say stagnated, but i do think things have been very... like this for a while.

2022 - got the most exciting examples out...

also i was very into these little frames in 2022.

and then on to 2023! in 2022, i did begin trying to shift gears a bit -- hoping to put more energy into sewing and making products (like my tutor has suggested back in uni, even though i'd really resisted the idea.) i sold at a few in-person markets during winter of 2022, but got disheartened by the amount of money i had to sink in up front to sign up for a spot...

which has made me VERY grateful for the people who have supported me via online sales. it has really helped me stay afloat in 2023 - AND it has felt more wonderful than i can describe that there have been people interested in my work... especially when a lot of it has been my original designs, rather than the fanart that i expect a lot of people initially followed me for.

i've also... in the past 2 years... branched out a bit more when it comes to 'being an artist' - and have had the opportunity to deliver arts & crafts workshops with local refugee & asylum seeker support charity, afrocats. it's taken me to their home base in a church to hotels across the city where asylum seekers were temporarily placed while waiting on their new homes, and of course to my beloved whitworth art gallery, where we welcomed visitors from all backgrounds: from the typical white middle class visitors the gallery usually expects, to all the refugee visitors coming into the space for the first time.

and through my volunteering at the whitworth, i showed up so often they decided they might as well pay me. so i've also become a facilitator of... creative play sessions, my favourites of which have been outdoors. monthly, year-round, we have 'outdoor art club', where i get to paint with mud and make potions from leaves with kids & families - here you can see me tell you a little bit about it in this video below with 'crempog' a puppet character that makes videos about activities for kids and families around manchester (my bit starts at 01:10 although i am in the intro and thumbnail haha)

and then of course the summer 'PLAYTIME' activities we've had the past two years: scrap studio in 2022, and play market in 2023. it's the best freelance gig ever -- just to hang out and encourage families to be creative and have fun.

in working more in these new avenues... outside of being - as i've called myself for a long time - "an internet artist"... i've found myself more interested in this sort of thing. in being a "real world artist" too. in doing surface pattern design, and being a workshop facilitator, i find myself wanting to put more energy into these sorts of projects.

in 2023 i've also dabbled a little bit more in youtube videos! i have had a channel for a while and have made videos in previous years, but 2023 has been the year i've done the most in. admittedly most of them haven't been about my art, and more just like... random things that interest me (the spongebob musical in particular) but i've really been enjoying video editing. that's kind of an art form too, so i'm including it here!

moving forward, want to keep putting even more of my energy into other things. my shop, with a bigger range of products to offer. workshops in real life, where i can make a difference.

as for my art blog... i feel like i've done the least drawing in many years in 2023, and... well, things have been weird and complicated for a bit in my real life. i hope to draw for fun a bit more again very soon, and to return to doing things in more of a wild and crazy way, to be more creative and exciting with the way i draw things. still, here's some of my favourites from 2023:

thank you so much to everyone who has borne witness to my art journey this past decade!!! i hope you will stick with me, who knows, maybe for another 10 years if tumblr holds out. especially a big thank you to everyone who has ever commissioned me, or bought anything from my store, you literally keep me able to make art at all and i cannot, cannot, cannot overstate how much it means to me.

i'm moving homes soon, possibly into very cramped temporary conditions for a little while before HOPEFULLY starting my real life with my partner. if i can take one more moment to plug my work, then [here is a link to my online shop] and [here is my ko-fi page too.]

cheers, cheers, cheers!

- LOREN 🌈🍍🎉

[zirobitches]

One Piece: Soulmate AU

Always in this twilight - Crocodile x GN!Reader

Summary: Soulmates are incapable of hurting each other. As a pirate, this leads to some tragic moments midst battles. You thought you were prepared for when it might happen to you, but damn you were wrong.

Gn! Reader, Angst no comfort, no beta we die like Roger, Reader is Croc's First Mate and a former Roger pirate (Shanks/Buggy's age) but it doesnt really matter, also former slave background, congrats you are now in the place of my self insert OC, no promises on not being cringe this is literally a /reader fic, also had to make a fake crew bc we dont know enough crocs backstory HAND IT OVER ODA

Word count: 4500+

Also first fic on tumblr, idk what im doing here, lmk ur opinions. It is now 2:03am and i have class at 10:30. Might have to skip lmao

EDITS: grammar check lol. also cross posted it on ao3 - same name as my blog

-----------

Soulmates weren't as common as you'd might assume when you first hear about it. There's an easy way to prove someone is your soulmate, but when that method is to harm them, well, it doesn't make it easy to find that person. And society gets a bit weird when you know your soulmate is out there.

you've known that some people carry around little needles to poke into strangers hoping to find the one. But that was in decent society; among pirates you more often heard tales of bullets suddenly dropping to the ground after they hit their target, or swords stopping on someone's skin as though it just hit steel. A battlefield is a hell of a place to meet the person fate had decided for you, but for pirates it had become a norm.

Not that long ago, some genius named Vegapunk did a study on how many people meet their soulmate - 1 in a 100. And that's just how many people find them. It never accounts for how many actually happily end up together. You had chosen to live your life as a pirate, so a happy ending with your supposed soulmate wasn't something you foresaw in your future.

You were always grateful most of your current crew felt the same. There was a small group among pirates that were always on the lookout to find their soulmate and then immediately retire. Your crew however like to joke that if they found them in battle, they would move out of the way so someone else could finish them off. It was a grim reality, but it was your reality.

However, on nights like these where you drank the night away, some romantic always had to bring it up.

"C'mon, did old Roger really make you so cold hearted that you don't believe in true love?"

"Pfft, you're fucking joking right?" You scoffed back. You always argued with Tink about this, but you understood your young navigator still had hope. Too bad you were the pessimist of the crew.

"It's not that I don't believe in true love," you continued. "Soulmates are real, I don't really see another explanation for not being able to harm only one other person in the world. But why limit yourself to waiting for a person you might never meet? So many are denying themselves to fall in love with someone else and then end up dying alone because they never found their soulmate."

Tink pouted in front of you. This was a tired conversation, one that was repeated every few weeks much to the chagrin of your other crewmates. But a controversial topic was always a great topic for a group such as yourselves.

"I'm not denying myself the chance to fall in love! I'm denying ever feeling heartbroken over someone who doesn't matter!" Tink tried to argue back, but you just groaned in response.

"And if you never meet the one? You'll just live and die without ever letting yourself even get a taste of what it is you're chasing." Tink glared, knowing it was futile to keep going, but the pink of her cheeks told you that the grog in her system was trying to get her to keep fighting.

It was then that a familiar tall figure caught your eye. There was your beloved captain Crocodile, trying to sneak behind everyone's back to grab another bottle for himself.

Crocodile was never much one for festivities, at least not one 'undeserved' as he might put it. While there was no battle won to celebrate, the night sky was clear and the waters calm; in the Grand Line, shouldn't that be enough to be happy about?

However tonight you weren't going to let him sneak booze and hide from the crew.

"Cap'n!" Apparently the grog was getting to you as well. "Come over here and help me crush Tink's dream of a soulmate!" You laughed as Tink gasped at your audacity. The rest of your company seemed more or less happy with how the night was going, but your captain was still less than enthused to join.

"If this is the same soulmate debate you've been going on about for the past 3 years, I will pass again. You already know my feelings on the matter." Crocodile's deep voice reverberated across the deck of the ship. Even if he wasn't giving orders, he still commanded the attention of everyone within earshot.

He gave a long drag of the bottle in his hand, and then turned to walk away. However you felt it was your duty as first mate to pester your captain into spending casual time with his crew.

"I may know your opinion, but would you be so kind and gracious to remind the rest of the crew? Perhaps?" You called out to the dark coat trying to run from the party, and saw him pause, then turn to walk back.

You could see some of the newer additions to the crew cower. You didn't blame them, Crocodile was an imposing figure, and was developing a infamous reputation as a pirate on the Grand Line. But he was your captain, and he would never hurt his crew, this you knew.

"If I ever met my soulmate," Crocodile began, "I assume it would be when I attempt to kill them." He took another sip from his bottle. This was one of the rare moments he was not puffing a cigar you suddenly realize. It made his face look younger, as though he was actually a man in his 20s as he claimed he was.

As though he knew you were thinking of him, Crocodile made eye contact with you. "When I realize I can't kill them, I'll call out for you." You felt your heart skip a beat. "Then you can finish them for me."

It was purely the grog's fault for making your face warm. The lack of a sea breeze was also suddenly apparent. But you couldn't be flustered, not when you were the one who asked for this answer.

You smiled, doing your best to brush off the tension. You were still maintaining eye contact with him after all. "Well there you have it. Not exactly the opinion I remember, but I hope I can live up to your expectations, Cap'n."

Crocodile nodded, then told you all to start to sober up or get to bed. "I don't need a crew of drunks on the Grand Line, or else we will never make it to the New World."

Your crew began to disperse and you went below deck to your cabin. You really hadn't had much to drink that night, yet your chest felt tight.

You thought you had learned your lesson, but no. Even after promising yourself you wouldn't, you became attached to your crew. Even after your last one fell apart. Even after you watched your first captain, your savior, be executed, you fucked up and dove straight into a different crew expecting it to be different.

You laid down in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the world slightly spinning. Suddenly all you can think about is when you met Croc.

-

It was little more than 3 years ago now, wasn't it? A whole 3 years since Roger died. The weight is still heavy in your chest, but not nearly as devastating as it was in Logue Town that day. You were a wreck, physically and emotionally.

After watching the execution, you were too heartbroken to join the others in pursuit of the One Piece. Your world has just officially ended, the crew was technically already disbanded, but now there was no hope of getting it back.

You ended up in some local bar. No one recognized you, and in the haze of all the excitement following Roger's death, why would they? You had just been some nobody apprentice who happened to stick on his ship after Roger saved your life.

But your sorrow did catch someone's eye.

You sat at the counter of this dive bar in Logue Town, mindlessly stirring whatever number drink sat in front of you now. You had run out of tears, and sat stuck in some frozen state of grief.

However, this sad portrait of yourself did not seem to deter someone from sitting next to you.

You paid them no mind, just staring into empty space, not enough energy to even remember you were still alive.

"You were a member of the Pirate King's crew weren't you?"

A deep voice rattled from the stranger, but it was his words that really caught your attention.

"How'd you figure?" You had paused your stirring at first, but now focused on your drink to avoid eye contact. You were a mess, you could feel your puffy eyes, and were still sniffling every so often.

"There's no reason anyone in this town should be sad that someone like him died. So, you must have known him, right?" The deep voice continued, and you could feel their eyes staring, but didn't have the strength to meet them.

"Well, you caught me. Going to take me in and see if you can get a reward? I'm afraid you won't find any posters of me though. I tended to get lost in the crowd, you could say." After that statement you finally grasped the glass in front of you and decided to knock back what was left. If this was the end of your little pirating career, so be it. It can die with Roger.

"Will you join my crew?"

Your head snapped up at that, and you finally looked up at the stranger.

Long black hair was slicked back to show all the sharp features of the man's face. A strong square jaw, a prominent, perfect nose, and pale, piercing eyes, hooded by thin black eyebrows. Undoubtedly, even in your drunken haze, you were sure sober you would agree the man was handsome.

After a moment to take in this stranger all you could manage was a "Excuse me?"

He smiled - no, smirked - and pulled a cigar out from his coat. "I could use someone with your experience on my crew." He carried on, as if you were discussing the weather outside. He lit the cigar with a lighter you hadn't noticed him pull out. Perhaps it was the booze, but looking at this guy, he almost seemed… fuzzy, around the edges.

"Having someone who once worked for the Pirate King should help me become the next Pirate King."

The stranger took a long drag from his cigar, then exhaled over the counter. You didn't know where the barkeep was now, but at the moment, it felt like you and him were the only people in the building.

You should be mad. Enraged at the audacity of someone to come up to you on the worst day of your life, and to ask you to work for them. But you felt nothing.

No. That wasn't right. You did feel something.

You chuckled. Giggled even. A small laugh that built up till you were laughing, nearly hysterically. You hadn't felt like this sort of light headed elation in a long time, and it was nice.

After taking a moment to catch your breath you finally looked back at the stranger. He didn't look upset at your reaction. He just kept smoking his cigar, waiting for an answer.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"I am Sir Crocodile, captain of the Neverland Pirates."

"Hmmm. Well, Sir Crocodile, I can tell you now that you have no chance of being Pirate King." You smirked back at him, propping your head up on your hand as you leaned against the counter.

This response still didn't bother the man. If anything, you swore he almost seemed… satisfied by your answer. Perhaps he knows what's coming next.

"I can help you out on the Grand Line and maybe help you get to the New World, but I promise," you leaned in towards this captain, staring him down. "You will never be the man Roger was. No one will."

Yet Crocodile was unperturbed.

"So you'll join my crew?"

You leaned back and reassessed your empty glass. You cast a quick glance at the bar and then back at the other pirate.

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do anyways."

-

You thought back in Logue Town you could never feel the same way about Crocodile's crew that you felt with Roger's, but you were always the fool. Now you are attached.

Now you need a reason to leave.

You couldn't waste your time or your heart with them. You had already died once with Roger, and if you stayed any longer you know you could never leave alive. You got up from bed - still plenty tipsy you swayed over - to your dresser.

Middle drawer, back left, underneath some no longer worn t-shirts was a small box. You opened it.

There were several small scraps of paper. Vivre cards.

As a child on Roger's boat, you were ecstatic to learn about vivre cards. A simple way to know the people you loved were alive and safe, and be able to find their exact location? It was too good to be true.

When you remember the feeling of Roger's paper burning in your hands at his execution, you knew the reality of vivre cards.

Your fingertips gently sorted through the papers you had made for some of Roger's crew. Each had a tiny name written in a corner. Shanks, Buggy, Ray, Gaban, Oden, and a few others of people who had been most important to you.

Maybe you could leave this crew and seek out the others. Rayleigh had always said he would retire at Sabaody, and your crew was bound to get there soon, hopefully in a couple months. The ache in your chest; you missed your old family. This could be the excuse you needed.

With a heavy sigh you closed the box and hid it away again. Sleeping on it would be good. Sleeping away the booze would also be nice.

Maybe then the tears would stop silently slipping down your face.

-

It turns out the excuse of seeing your old crew was unneeded. The news coo was kind enough to drop a reason to leave directly in your lap.

You stared at the newspaper for a long moment. The sinking feeling in your gut still did not go away.

You walked up to the bow where Crocodile was standing. He stared at the horizon as you approached the next island, Water 7.

"Captain."

Crocodile turned to look at you, face neutral, signature cigar in his mouth.

"Morning. The news any good?"

"They want to make you a Warlord."

Your own feelings were swept under the rug as your crewmates overheard. Instantly the deck was buzzing, the news spreading and making the once sleepy, slightly hungover crew come back to life.

"This is perfect!" The helmsman Diat yelled, a grin wide on his face. "Not only do we get the Marines off our back, it's recognition that we are some of the strongest pirates on the Grand Line!"

You would have laughed at him if not for the ice in your chest. Similar celebratory remarks were made all around you, but you didn't have the strength to pretend this was good news to you.

All you could feel was an icy feeling on your back, right where you had a large scar that tore up a long faded tattoo. But time could not get rid of the mark you could never forget about, no matter how much you wanted to.

Amid the spontaneous party you finally turned back to Crocodile. Amidst it all, he was still only looking at you.

Your words were quiet compared to the raucous around you, but your captain heard you just fine.

"If you become a Warlord I'm leaving the crew."

A couple of nearby crew gasped, heads whipped in your direction and murmurs quickly took place of all the yells.

Instantly protests, people yelling your name, yelling their arguments, but it all fell on deaf ears as you stared down your captain.

Tink of all people knew it was futile to argue with you, and turned to the man of the hour. "Captain! You can't just let your first mate leave!"

Before she could continue, Crocodile interjected. "You never planned on making me King of the Pirates, right? So you never planned on staying on this ship anyways."

This evoked even more protests from the crowd. Many of them weren't sure what you two were talking about, and some had begun to yell again.

The sounds were starting to be overwhelming, and this was not a conversation that required the whole crew anyways.

"That's enough from everyone!" You yelled over the cacophony. The crew went quiet. "This is a conversation for me and the captain, the rest of you need to beat it! Do something useful, we will make a port soon."

The crowd was not placated in the least, but it was true the ship would be docked soon, and there were things that needed to be prepared beforehand.

"You heard them. Get back to work." Crocodile finished your command, and the crowd dispersed. You knew they would still be listening, but it didn't stop you.

"I refuse to be part of a crew that works alongside the Marines. If you become a Warlord you automatically become their dog - then you may as well be a dog of the celestial dragons." Your tongue burned even at the mention of the world nobles.

Crocodile took a long drag of his cigar. He looked away from you and sighed an exhale of smoke, then dragged his line of sight back to you.

"I haven't decided yet."

You bristled at this. "Are you suggesting they already offered this to you? And I had to find out through a newspaper?"

Crocodile took yet another drag, and you lost your patience with his nicotine addiction. "Answer me Crocodile."

Your captain sighed through his nose this time, some of the smoke reaching you, a familiar smell after all these years. It once may have been a nice fragrance, knowing your captain was near, but now it blinded you and stoked your anger.

"We are almost to Water 7. Let's save it for there."

-

Tensions were high, especially between you and Crocodile, when your mood worsened when he disappeared while you oversaw the docking. But you docked. You got the crew into a hotel. During this time the crew began splitting into sides, which was not something you had anticipated. But you ignored it all until finally, Crocodile returned and you cornered him into in a room alone with you.

He had no cigar, and you had no drink in hand. It was a painfully sober room.

Crocodile sighed and slumped into an armchair. He dragged his eyes across the room till they met yours. You refused to look away this time, jaw set with determination to stand your ground.

"I don't want to be the Marine's dog," Croc began. "But they offered me a deal."

"The deal that our crimes are excused? Big whoop, as long as we don't get caught it's almost the same."

"No," he sighed, a large ring covered hand dragging down his face in exasperation. "A deal to help take down Whitebeard."

That got you silent. For a moment, as you recalled every time you saw Roger and Whitebeard exchange blows and fight for days on end.

"You? Take down Whitebeard?" You laughed, but it was a dry and bitter thing. "Your bounty is $81 million berries. Your devil fruit is great and all, but it is by no means fight and beat Whitebeard good. Even if Newgate was without his crew, our entire crew would be wiped off the map. You've lost it if you truly believe that this is achieveable."

Crocodile glared from across the room. Not his usual, perpetual glare, but a genuine, freeze you in your tracks ice cold glare.

He stood up, all 8 feet imposing over you as he stalked across the room. "I have let you say plenty of cruel things to me, but this may cross the line."

But you were his first mate and you couldn't fear him if you were supposed to talk sense into him. "Cross the line? I'm not the one who is making deals with the Navy so I can sail us to our deaths at the hands of Whitebeard!" You were yelling now, no, roaring at your foolish headstrong captain.

"If you take that ship and that crew as it is now to the New World to fight Whitebeard and his sons, no one will come back alive!" Your heart was on fire with rage and frozen in fear. Rage at your captain, who is very much overestimating his abilities. Fear for your crewmates who have no idea what sort of danger their captain was going to put them in.

Crocodile was now truly enraged on the same level as you. He sneered down at you as he suddenly grabbed you by the neck - much to your shock. "I wanted you there to see me become the next Pirate King. But if you can't support me for this, one of the biggest moments in my life since I've been a pirate, then I have no need for you anymore."

With his free hand he opened the door that was behind you. A group of Marines walked in with cuffs ready. "To sweeten the deal, what better than to give a former Roger pirate to the Navy?"

You felt all the blood drain from your face, as fear for your own well being finally pierced your heart. You looked up at Crocodile, and you could feel tears begin to creep at the corner of your eyes. "You never fail to surprise me, Captain."

"Well done Sir Crocodile." One of the Marines spoke, and you could tell from their uniform it was a Vice Admiral, though you didn't recognize them.

"A public execution of a Roger's pirate should be a grand way to ring in your instatement as Warlord."

You felt the world slow down around you and felt Crocodile's grip on your neck slip at the Marine's sentencing.

Crocodile began to speak, "That was not what we agreed on," But your ears had begun to ring.

Growing up on the Oro Jackson, you had picked up some neat tricks. You found out you were hopeless with the color of observation haki, but had a special knack for color of arms. Perfect against those darn logia fruit users.

In a blink of an eye you ripped Crocodile's arm away from your neck and you made a mad dash past him. And jumped straight through a window, glass and all.

You could vaguely hear a commotion behind you as Marines ran after you, but it was lost with the ringing in your ears.

You could hear and feel your heartbeat, pounding throughout your body as you ran through the endless alleys and canals of Water 7. You could feel tears pierce through the wind rushing past your face as you ran, desperately with no objective.

All you could think about was the way the heat of Crocodile's hand felt on your neck, the cold metal of the rings that had pressed against your pulse.

Have you ever really touched Crocodile before?

…

You missed him. You didn't understand why. He had just betrayed you - fucking hell, he was just handing you over to the Navy as part of his deal to become a warlord, but god. You wanted to be with him anyways. You're not sure how long you've been in love with him; his sharp eyes, the smell of his cigars, the rings on his hands, but gods above.

You had fallen in love with Crocodile.

In your realization you slowed down. Your legs and lungs burned, you were gasping for air and not just because you had been running.

Has it always been this dark? When did the day leave you behind?

You now stood in some nondescript alley, dimly lit a golden hue by windows that lined it. It was a long alley, each end blocked by canals. How you arrived there you weren't certain. But you weren't alone.

At one end sand had appeared. And from it stepped your dear, awful captain Crocodile. You both stared at each other, both of you panting for breath.

"I didn't want it to be like this." Crocodile's voice cuts through the air to you. You knew you should run. But for some reason you couldn't find the strength.

"I didn't know they would execute you. I imagined they would send you to Impel Down." Crocodile continued to speak. You just stood there and listened as he walked towards you.

As you watched him, there was a strange look on his face. You've seen it before but still didn't know what it meant.

He stopped walking ten feet in front of you. The light was still too dim to see him clearly, but it was fine. You knew his face well enough.

"I won't let the Navy kill you. Not after what the nobles did to you, it feels wrong." You had never told Crocodile what the scar on your back was. It didn't feel like it mattered anymore.

"I think I'll feel better about this if I'm the one who kills you."

You knew this was coming. The second you saw him at the end of the alley. But you agreed with him. If you had to die at someone's hands, you would pick Crocodile over anyone else. Even if it meant he didn't feel the same about you, it didn't matter anymore. You were so tired.

It would be nice to see Roger again.

But then Rayleigh's face flashed in your mind. You still had to pay him a visit. You still had to visit Wano to see Oden. You wanted to see Shanks and Buggy find the One Piece.

You couldn't see Roger just yet.

So, in a sudden scramble, you turned around and ran.

The ground where you had been standing suddenly crumbled. You felt a gasp finally escape your lungs as you realized you almost gave up. But not yet. You had to save your crew too.

Then you finally ran out of luck. The dim light hid a hole in the cobblestones and you fell to the alley ground. You quickly twisted your body just in time to see Crocodile's scythe of sand arc straight towards you.

It hits you right in the chest, and crumbles to dust.

Confused, you run your hands through the sand that has landed on your lap. You're not cut in half - instead you just have sand all over you.

Crocodile change his mind? He was letting you go? Thoughts and heart still racing, you looked up at him.

Oh.

Oh no.

The horror on his face was plain to see - that was supposed to be a killing blow.

But he didn't hurt you.

Your hand jumped to your neck from when he grabbed you earlier. But in retrospect, you had just been shocked by the action, he hadn't harmed you.

Crocodile didn't hurt you.

No.

Crocodile couldn't hurt you.

Because he was your soulmate.

It was the look on his face that hurt you the most. The disgust, anger, horror - this man did not want a soulmate. He did not want you. So why bother sticking around?

You scrambled back to your feet. Even if he couldn't hurt you, the Marines still could.

So, with blurry eyes and a heavy heart, you ran away.

Faintly, you heard a painfully familiar voice call your name, but then all that was left was the wind as you ran.

pt. 2 (if you want, but this might be better as a one shot)

[north-noire]

what's your process for writing? :3

my writing process: I stare at my document file for hours and weep, repeat until writing gets miraculously done.

In all seriousness I tend to already have outlines ready for future chapters and stuff like that ready (and an idea of what I'd like to happen in the arcs/timeline of events). I've already had like a vague outline of my entire fic as a whole, but that's just kind of my own version of what happens in FNAF LMAO. I also just sometimes brainstorm, imagine new scenes that seems fitting for future chapters and list it down for me to write!

Though sometimes, even my writing execution just sometimes makes me have to divert/change plans up for chapters since sometimes writing's a bit unpredictable and sometimes some ideas I have just come out of nowhere/don't work anymore!

I talk back and forth about ideas with some friends/my alpha reader and bounce back ideas between them! It's really fun brainstorming with people and being able to put my ideas into words before writing it down. I also sometimes draw it out as concept art since it's fun visualizing some of my ideas!

Of course I still base most of the ideas from the actual source material (the games, some parts of the book trilogy) but since this is an AU I'm allowed to explore some "what-if" ideas and be able to have some creative freedom with it without worry since it is an AU after all! I get to do/explore things the way I want without worrying about judgment since this isn't really canon-compliant.

I take very long in actual writing stage (for obvious reasons), and after completing my rough/first draft I let it sit for a few days or a week before reading it again with a fresh pair of eyes and edit/revise/add new scenes accordingly. Sometimes I just make scenes out, no matter how bad it may be at first, and then just let revising/editing do my work for me. Sometimes I also have readied drafts for some scenes of future chapters that I can come back to, put it in the document and just rewrite it/rework it to be better suited for the narrative.

I tend to take my time longer during the editing/revising stage for a lot of things; I'm a perfectionist, I tend to sort of heavily criticize my work, and I worry a lot about its quality at the end of the day, and sometimes I realize that I need to fully revise the scene or fully rewrite a scene since it's lacking something/I'm missing a scene that should essentially be there. It's a hard battle, and an admittedly frustrating process.

That, and irl responsibilities makes it hard to just read through it sometimes.

During those breaks I sometimes read books/literature so that I can come back to editing/revising with fresh new knowledge on how I can improve or be able to know how I'll handle writing again.

After editing/revising is done, I just hand off the beta-reading to my beta readers, which also takes a while; we're all having irl responsibilities after all, and I mostly go to them back and forth about their feedback since it is nice having fresh eyes on your work WHILE also getting feedback from "first-time readers" of my work and what the readers might think of it when I publish it. They also help me with minor editing stuff since I'm not an English speaker (English isn't my first language) and their feedback really helps!

And then I usually draw out the cover chapter, and when my chapter's published, I do a nice little celebration for myself, since I take very long on chapter updates/making the actual chapters! It's important to celebrate the little victories we have, after all :]

Sorry for the SUPER long post, but since it is the writing process, I might as well share the ups and downs of my own writing process anyway XD Hope this helps?

[bettyfrommars]

I need to know about drifter Steve! Is he anything like drifter Eddie? Is he more jovial or just as jaded? Does he feel connections with those he leaves behind? Or he just leaves and doesn’t think about them again?

thank you for asking about a wip from this post Jennie!

It was a Wip-Temper game, but has become a Wip-Tober thing, lmao.

Okay, Drifter Steve!

He has a lot of similarities to my drifter!Eddie! But I haven't decided to go the canon route where the events of S4 brought out darker aspects in him both physically and emotionally, or if this will be another version where he grew up near Eddie and Wayne looked after them when they were kids. Drifter Steve has the fighter side of biker!Steve, but more of the goofiness we saw in S3.

Quick Summary: Steve comes back to Hawkins to find Eddie because he's been offered a large sum of money to do a unique protection run. The job concerns a very mysterious item that they’ll be instructed not to look at or touch.

It's a mix of our biker boys, our nightmare boys, and a good helping of horror/magic realism.

Here is a snippet from what I have so far:

18+ONLY, cursing, illegal activity, mention of sex, Steve is single, but Eddie has an unspecified girlfriend (could be any reader)

-------

Steve didn't feel good about the Kovalenko job, but ten grand a piece would go a long way.

"What's the cargo?" Eddie asked across the table from Steve who was picking the label off of his Coors Banquet. They were shrouded in a smokey corner of the Hideout listening to someone hack a Johnny Cash song to death on karaoke night.

"You know what? I didn't ask," his companion admitted with a micro shrug, thumbing the end of his smoke before putting the filter to his lips again. "Does it matter?"

"I don't know about this, man," Eddie grumbled, adjusting in his seat so that his wallet chain clapped the wood. He rested his chin in his palm, "I don't know if I want to go down that road again. My job sucks but it's decent. I like my bed. I like having my girl with me when I wake up in the morning."

"She'll still be here when we get back," Steve bit, flicking his hand dismissively. Somehow, his friend had broken the desperado curse they'd both been afflicted, which left Steve as a perpetual third wheel. Even Robin had a partner she was crazy about, and he was getting tired of having to crash in their guest room---the ten grand would change that.

A gangly, teenage metalhead with a pimpled jawline brought them two more beers, and Eddie always tipped him well cause the kid reminded him of someone.

"Where are we taking it?" Eddie twisted the cap off and the mouth of the brown bottle smoked. "How many miles?"

"Not far," Steve rolled the cap along the table like a wheel. "Just like, a few states over I think."

"A few states." Eddie repeated flatly.

"Maybe, I think. Two or three. He'll tell us more tomorrow."

Eddie sat back and folded his arms over his chest. He wore his long hair in a low ponytail and had several piercings in one ear. "They're paying in advance for expenses, I hope. I'm not sleeping under the stars without a pot to piss in again with you, Harrington. I don't care how well you spoon me."

"Easy there, princess," smoke flared out of Steve's nostrils like a dragon, chuckling. "Damn, domestic life has really done a number on you."

Eddie's cheeks burned pink, tossing his head back for a chug of his Coors.

It'd been a while, but Steve remembered the person he was before all of the trauma turned him inside out. He'd been in love plenty of times since Nancy, sure, and he'd done his fair share of fucking, but it often felt like the cavern in him was too vast to ever be filled.

Danger though? That somehow managed to fabricate the illusion of fullness, of deep, nutrient rich satisfaction that fed him even better than sex.

"Or," Steve stretched back, interlacing his fingers behind his head. "You could sit this one out and I'll keep the 20 k all to myself."

"You're not doing it alone, man," Eddie mumbled. "Not worth the risk."

"That's the spirit, Munson." Steve grinned, fishing a piece of pink gum out from under his tongue to start chewing it again. "It'll be just like old times. You, me, and the road makes three."

As jovial as he was, Steve had a bad feeling about whatever the thing was Kovalenko needed them to transport. If it was blow or guns, no biggie, but this thing was different:

This thing had teeth and eyes, and he didn't know how, but it was already aware of him.

[hana-bobo-finch]

kabbu bug fables kabbu bug fables KABBU (PERSONAL YAPPING INCOMING!!! LOOK OUT!!!)

kabbu….reading too much into kabbu get ready….he used to be my least favorite (not that I didn’t like him but just that I liked vi and Leif more) but he is. Urghhh. He won my heart in chapter 5 (have not finished chapter 5 yet though). the way that one of the main thing he does is try to make his teammates feel ok….like he literally has a skill called pep talk…..and he spends a lotta his time helping them and stuff……meanwhile he has to have his own trauma basically pried out of him with a crowbar and is all iffy about taking about it and it comes out as anger………..uuuuuuuuu STOP IT!!! STOP DESTROYING ME LIKE THIS KABBU. it is just SO painfully relatable bc. I spend so much of my energy trying to help people, but in the process I ignore my own problems and just kinda let them fester, and then they eventually all come out in some destructive way, rinse and repeat. And that goofy little bug is forcing me to be introspective because I spent the beginning of chapter 5 thinking “TALK ABOUT IT KABBU ITS OK!!! TELL THEM!!! YOU DONT ALWAYS NEED TO BE THE ONE DOING THE HELPING!!!” and then I realized oh crap I could probably use that advice too. uurrghh don’t like this don’t like that the funny bug game is making me start soul searching. cause it’s TRUE!!! I realized it so potently earlier today. I was in a downright whimsical mood but I saw 1 (one) thing that made me remotely sad and it took like a solid 15 minutes to try to calm myself down to prevent a full blown panic attack and remember that it isn’t my responsibility to help all the time and I had to let myself be happy for once, and even then it took another hour to feel completely normal again……ooougghhh aaaarrrghhhh. the hyper empathy is hyper empathying….rrrghhh. ive mentioned it before I think but being hyper empathetic sucks so bad. feels like just soaking up everyone else’s emotions and I don’t got room for my own. Whether good or bad emotions. so I was dealing with that earlier and I thought abt kabbu and it just got me thinking yknow? maybe I’m a bit too much like that little bug man for my own liking and that’s why his backstory utterly destroyed me (and the fact that he was so panicked over leif being hurt in chapter 4 because he didn’t want to lose anyone else again HOO BOY that hit me square in the gut and I haven’t even had anyone close to me die I just have REALLY bad anxiety when it comes to that kind of thing!!!). so um. Is there a point to all this talking?? um sort of!!! will probably dial back interacting with my moots’s more personal posts because I am Pretty Sure I am soaking up all of the emotions and it is stressing me out!!! listen listen listen i can NOT stress this enough, this is not targeted towards any of yall and it’s not any of yall’s fault!!! I do not want to give off the wrong impression that is the exact opposite of what I am trying to get at!!! in short I will be avoiding more personal posts like the plague until I can get my own brain in order because right now I am nothing but a sponge, soaking up everything around me. But rest assured I will be cheering you all on in life from the sidelines. anyway I was going to go into the rest of team snakemouth and how much they mean to me but I think ive talked enough already and I haven’t even beat the game yet lmao (VI AND LEIF MY BELOVED SOBS SOBS SOBS THEY R JUST LIKE ME FRFR)

[suckishima]

okay so i know i posted a few weeks ago that i did get to see the haikyuu movie when i was in japan last month and ive been so busy i didnt fully have time to process lol so ive been writing down thoughts as i remember them so, spoilers under the cut (no particular order)

final rally pov shot was craaaaazyyy (sidenote i saw challengers today lmao and they did a similar pov shot thing a couple times and it reminded me how sick it was to see such a complicated thing be animated)

in addition to that tho, while i liked the drop of the music then to just have it be kenmas breathing, i felt lie his breathing seemed a little repetitive?? like it was possibly just the same couple voice recordings repeated???

and also tbh.. i kinda didnt love how after the super amazing pov animation the way they chose to animate the full court flashback to tokyo training camp was just like a flat pan around the room. it just didnt feel all that dynamic after seeing something so cool, and maybe it was just my screening but the image was kinda blurry and not that crisp at that part

in general tho i thought the sound design was really cool, so much of it just straight up felt like a live match happening, and the part when kenma tells hinata to stay interesting and the sound cuts out?? ooo v effective i thought

and then the birdcaaaage aaaah i loved the way the wings like got all stifled in the cage when kenma first trapped him and then ofc the bursting out of it oooo im excited to see it again in imax

there were a tonnnn of small moments that i assumed wouldnt make the cut that actually did too, yaku sitting on lev's back when he's doing pushups, the bokuto/kuroo hair swap flashback lmaooo, goshiki having to share his ipad with tendou (i cant remember for sure now if he actually says that or not but theyre definitely in the movie), bokuto and akaashi coming over and talking to yachi and ah i think theres more. a lot of them were shortened down a bit, but i appreciated them getting attention nonetheless. sadly no kuroo/lev poop conversation though lmaoo

i thought the kuroo/kenma flashbacks were pretty good as well, i think they possibly added a few lines?? it seemed like there were more frames of stuff of kuroo being inspired by the "lowering the net" concept which was really cool bc thats really integral to his character to me. and then theres this line where kenma is like "hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo" and uhhhh that is news to me!! im like 90% thats new content lmao, and oooo it was good, the shots they chose with it too gooood

oh for some reason they changed how kenma flops??? he falls with his butt up in the air instead of just flat??? like why lmao, obviously that was like an Actual Choice they made bc they had to draw it and obviously had the manga as reference and it makes no difference other than to confuse me lolll

im interested to see it again distributed by crunchyroll too bc im sure some of the subs i saw werent right, a few lines just didnt make sense and there were a few instances of like "lead blocking"

and okay. i gotta talk about the chapter 298 stuff

its there its in the movie!! but,, it's watered down lmao

and i think i was also too in my head and overanalyzing it which im disappointed in myself for so im hoping on rewatch ill have a better time

the "hes always been one step ahead of me after all" was like as perfect as it could get tbh, it looks just like the manga and tsukki like says it just right and yamaguchi comes onto the court behind him totally focused and aaah really loved it. then the service ace and tsukkis little laugh it really good

but then i'm torn on the actual serve and block, there's no inner thoughts on yamaguchis "oh no the ball isnt drifting enough" and then tsukkis silent reply "no that was plenty" before stuffing it, so we arent hearing their like mind reading/intuition connection there which was a bummer. and thennnn im not positive on this bit but i dont think anyone repeats anything about the serve and block being the perfect play?? (its yamaguchi echoing ukai in the manga) and then no little flashbacks to how theyve been training

HOWEVER the big main flashbacks of seeing how yamaguchi walks from behind tsukki to in front of him are there!!! and the way theyre presented is interesting? i was like taken aback by the decision to have the clips being showed within their silhouettes as they move toward each other (i couldnt even tell thats what it was at first tbh..) that i missed whether or not all the panels were in it..... (majorly disappointed in myself for that one). idk visually i found it a little confusing i guess and so i couldnt fully appreciate and im hoping itll look cool on rewatch when i understand whats happening

and then the high five ahhh it was pretty good, idk if anything will ever live up to that manga panel for me, the joy and success and sense of achievement in that image means so much to me lol, but its animated fairly well. do wish they didnt cover tsukkis smile tho

then kuroo asks how tsukki feels about volleyball and he says its fun and he smiles and its.. fine. like ugh its just one of those things were this entiiiire section just slightly suffered from being a two minute segment of a movie instead of a whole episode (or even just half an episode tbh), like something about his smile and saying it was fun just fell a little flat for me and i was unfortunately a little sad about it, i was hoping for a little more buildup and like emphasis. this is a huuuuge culminating moment for him and it didnt quite feel like it to me bc the movie had to have other priorities where a season wouldnt have

later one when tsukki and kuroo are like battling at the net exhausted tho and tsukki smiles again that was pretty good, the animated is really top notch when theyre all panting n stuff, and the voice acting there was great, really liked it

[astarionancuntnin]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Thank you for the tag @nyx-knox!! <33

When did you start writing?

Like wayyyyyyyyy back, I technically wrote my first story when i was 11. I didn't write again until i was 15 (original pieces + fanfics), then i stopped and Im back at it again at 26 ayoooo

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

if i really need to search further into my favorite books, i would definitely say psychological horror and dramas

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't know writers enough to really get an idea of how to compare myself to any of them, but I do know that i tend to emulate what i'm exposed to, so if I read an entire series from an author, and they used a certain syntax, i'll tend to also do it by force of habit. (i also consider it a flaw cause i see it as hindering my writing creativity ;-;)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

its my personal pc that doubles as my work space, so its a bit all over the place ngl haha, theres a lot of astarion stickers and posters, all the furniture (keyboard, mouse, desk, etc) is pastel purple (my favorite colour), i have three screens (mostly for work but its also useful in day to day life) and my three wallpapers are astarion, of course. sometimes when i feel a writers block, i found out that writing on my laptop does unblock me! in that case, youll find me typing away on my couch in my living room uwu

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

MUSIC. What I write will be highly dependent on what I listen at the moment, like I was really into boywithuke when i wrote my angsty fics, and then i moved to a dark romance playlist and that got me going for die for you but then i was unable to continue my other fic cause i wasnt in an angsty mood anymore ._. (i swear i didnt abandon it, it just isnt the playlists turn to play on repeat) and rn im a lot into sleep token and ari abdul

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

So. Much. Smut. And angst. not surprising! my writing will also often depict my current state of mind. dw im in therapy, im working on it

What is your reason for writing?

It's my favorite creative output/the one im most experienced in! i wanna start drawing but i never find the time to really get into it and also terrified of failure which brings me to my second reason, its all i think i can do and i get dopanine reading nice comments teehee

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

when people tell me about a favourite part, when they liked the tension i managed to create, how i convey some characters, and most of all when i get told they loved a character i created!! this is so encouraging and pushes me to continue <3

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

i dont know how to answer to that .-. uh, i guess i want to be liked? seen as a good writer if anything? idk man ;-;

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Definitely descriptions, and creating a build up in a scene. I feel like it comes naturally to me and people have often told me that they are never lost when reading my scenes which reassures me so much LMAO I feel validated I also think I make really fun dialogue, especially banter with my ocs/tavs

How do you feel about your own writing?

i often self criticise my own work a lot, and i get that imposter syndrome where ill reread my work before posting and go "what the hell" in those moments, im grateful im not writing on paper cause that sheet would find its way to the trash real quick ^^ ' im sincerely truly blessed that my partner offers himself to read my pieces and beta read them, and tell me his honest opinion (there are things i wrote i wish i could forget and yall better be thankful he was there to stop me from posting first versions)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mix of both definitely. initially i wrote my own ideas and if people do end up liking them hell yeah!!! glad im able to find people that vibe the same way i do! then again, when i write for people, even if most of it comes from my silly little imagination, it was initially influenced by the request itself and is going to guide the writing specific to this piece, which honestly makes sense imo

Tagging 🏷️: @marlowethebard @roguishcat @anacdoce @charmandabear @marimosalad

[karatekels]

Hi there! It's me again. The kk3 Terry x virgin reader anon.🤭 so I was thinking... what would happen right after all of that, the next day. She obviously would wanna go home and finally talk to Danny. But I doubt Terry is gonna like it lmao. The man's obsessive/possessive behavior has no bounds 😏. I'd love to read what you could come up with! Maybe Terry would try and keep her away most of the time and have her all to himself. She's his girl now after all.

---

Silver Seduction - Part 4

---

Oooh, my first request for a sequel! I’ll do my best for you, anon, but I had to think about where this would go for a long time. Needless to say, I got quite distracted by writing the morning after – it was too much fun! There's going to be at least 1 more part to this, but I couldn't keep myself from posting now! (Original Post starts here | Part 2 of the sequel | Part 3 of the sequel)

---

The late morning sun streamed through the tall windows of Terry’s master bedroom, illuminating you and Terry, still tangled up in the sheets and in one another. Stretching, your toes curling, you nuzzle further into Terry’s chest, a small noise of contentment escaping you. Terry’s strong arms come around you, squeezing you tightly to his chest before he rolls you onto your back, caging you in with his large body, his smile reaching his pale blue eyes. So, last night wasn’t a dream, then?

“Good morning,” you say, a shy smile breaking out across your face. Terry leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss in response.

“Morning, doll.” His voice is a bit husky from sleep, and the sound makes you tingle all over. “Sleep well?” You nod up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck to play with his beautiful dark curls.

“Very. Last night was wonderful, Terry,” you sigh blissfully, adoration radiating from your face. Terry reaches down to cup the side of your face, your whole head practically fitting into his warm palm.

“Well, I’m happy to give you as many repeat performances as you’d like,” Terry says cheekily, winking at you as he strokes your cheek with his thumb. You blush at the thought, not sure what to say. All of this was still so new to you, and you felt a little self-conscious as your inexperienced showed.

“I’ll be right back,” he promises, and you make a playful noise of protest as he slips out of your grip, heading into what you presumed was the ensuite bathroom. Your eyes trail down his body, from his tousled hair down his muscular back to his incredibly toned ass. Trying not to drool, you curl away from the bathroom door, a goofy grin taking over your features as you bury your face into a pillow. All of that was yours!

Giggling to yourself, you think back to last night. Everything had been better than you’d imagined your first time could be. He was so gentle, so sensual, and the things he had done to you with his hands, his lips, his… your body clenches with desire as you remember the feeling of his cock thrusting inside you. Maybe it was silly of you to think, but after last night you felt more like… a woman, now. Did you look any different?

Peeking out from the pillow, your eyes scan the room – you hadn’t exactly been focused on it last night – and spot a floor-length mirror next to the closet. You wrap the bedsheet around your chest to cover yourself; Terry may be comfortable walking around naked, but then Terry looked like Terry. Padding over to the mirror, you give yourself a once-over. You looked a mess, your hair sticking up at odd angles, but your body – you briefly open the bedsheet to inspect yourself – didn’t look any different. Your eyes are a bit brighter, you suppose, and you have a healthy flush to your cheeks – would you ever stop blushing after last night? And then there was the beaming smile you couldn’t keep off your face, but you couldn’t help it! You feel like you’re floating on air.

--- Terry’s POV ---

Terry tightens his grip on his cock as he feels his orgasm approaching, pumping his fist up and down his shaft quickly. He needed to get this out of his system, knowing that you would need time to adjust to his way of things, and that he had to take things slow, which unfortunately meant he couldn’t rail you the way he’d wanted to upon waking up with you in his arms this morning.

Thinking back to last night, he closes his eyes, recalling what you’d looked like last night; on your back, spread out on his sheets, lost in pleasure that he gave you, begging for his cock, your face a mask of ecstasy. Hissing your name through gritted teeth, Terry comes hard, breath laboured as he does his best to stay quiet.

He quickly cleans himself up before moving over to his tub, which had just finished filling up with hot water and bubbles. Drawing you a bath and… taking care of things without you was far more chivalry than he was used to providing, but Terry was always willing to play the long game if it meant he would be victorious in the end. Slicking his hair back into his signature ponytail, he looks himself over in the mirror, feeling in control once more.

Terry leaves his bathroom, his eyes automatically zeroing in on the bed but finding it empty. Scanning the room, he spots you staring at yourself in the mirror, lost in thought. Leaning against the wall, he watches you intently, smirking when he sees you briefly open the sheet you’d wrapped yourself in and scanning your body, giving your reflection a sheepish grin. How cute, he thinks to himself, so innocent that you couldn’t even look at your own naked form without being embarrassed. He would change that as soon as possible; taking you in front of a mirror, making you watch what he did to you seemed like a good option. He feels his cock start to twitch against his thigh at the thought – clearly his libido needed to be subdued by more than just quickly jerking himself off where you were concerned.

“Modesty, huh?” Terry says, and you whirl around in surprise. He takes in the sight you make: mussed hair, a blush spreading across your face and down your neck, disappearing beneath the bedsheet you had wrapped around your torso. You looked entirely too innocent and unravished, in his opinion, and he needed to rectify that immediately.

Locking eyes with you, he pointedly licks his lips, your soft moan barely reaching him from across the room, but he’d heard it. Nothing got past Terry. Knowing he had your attention, he stalks towards you slowly, nearly purring in satisfaction as he sees your whole body start to tremble before he even gets close to you. He could hardly wait to show you just how good sex could be when your adrenaline was pumping…he loved a chase.

Closing the distance between you, he pounces, pinning you back onto the mattress and pawing at the sheet you had cocooned yourself in, kissing you fiercely. You arch into him and seem to be all-too-willing for a repeat of last night, but he detects a whimper of pain amongst the pleasurable noises you’re making. Resisting the urge to sigh, he slows things down, once again choosing to play the long game, which unfortunately meant not fucking you in your tender state.

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. Still sore?” He asks, eyes shining with concern, one large, warm hand resting gently on your abdomen.

“Yeah, a little. Will I always feel like this after we have sex?”

He likes the way you’re already making plans to fuck him in the future; it was nice to know that you were on the same page.

“Nah, not once your body gets used to it. Kind of like karate – you train yourself up and it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’ll be gone before you know it,” he reassures you, noting that you don’t look as relieved as you should.

“Oh no, it’s not that, it’s just…” you bite your lip and your blush returns. “I…I kind of like it.”

Sweet Christ, you were going to be the death of him. How was he supposed to stay in control and be gentle, mindful of your innocence and inexperience when comments like that – especially coming from someone who didn’t even really realize how they came across – had him wanting to bend you over the mattress and pound into you until you passed out? Sure, he wanted to keep you around, slowly moulding you into the perfect sexual deviant and flaunting your adoration of him in Danny Boy’s stupid face, but that could come at a cost to his own sanity after awhile. Terry had never been one to deny himself anything, and having you around, naively offering yourself up for his pleasure would be quite the challenge, even for his degree of self-control.

“You like it, huh?” he teases you, trying to keep things light. “Well, I’ll be more than happy to get you feeling like this whenever you want, babe, but for now I need you feeling better! C’mon, a ran a bath for you,” he holds out his hand, seeing you melt at the thoughtful gesture. Hopefully this was a sign that you were falling for him fast…

“Ohh, that’s so sweet! Thank you, Terry,” you say graciously, taking your hand but keeping the sheet clutched tightly around you with the other. He leads you into the opulent bathroom, and you step towards the bath, but stop awkwardly, looking between him and the tub repeatedly.

“Umm…are you…did you want to…” you stammer, unable to get the question out. Terry resolves to savour these moments of innocence, so that he can think back on them when he’s got you doing something particularly filthy with him in the future.

“-join you?” Terry finishes for you with a grin, and you nod forcefully, blushing furiously. “Thanks for the invitation, doll, but you relax. I’m gonna go find us some breakfast!” Having you anywhere near him while hot, wet, and naked would definitely make him snap. You nod, and he takes his leave, re-entering the bedroom to get dressed before getting the kitchen staff in action.

“Ooohhh…” you moan in pleasure as you sink into the steamy water. Terry clenches his eyes shut, nostrils flaring as he takes a deep, calming breath.

…Seriously, were you some sort of succubus, sent from Hell to torture him for all of his misdeeds? He tilts his head back in exasperation, hitting it against the wall harder than he would have liked. Fighting back a growl, he glares at the bathroom door, half-expecting you to have transformed in his tub into some sort of demon, ready to pull him into the water and seduce him until he drowned. However, upon peeking his head in he sees that you’re the picture of tranquility, your eyes closed and a blissful smile on your face, the bubbles coming up to your collarbone.

He needed to get out of here.

---

Coming up next: Reader wants to go talk to Daniel, and Terry shows his true colours during a fight with you - stay tuned!

[kindred-spirit-93]

*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D

do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?

do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?

well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!

i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...

i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit

after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this

it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.

ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol

self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?

this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D

i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*

anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*

id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.

a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)

aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD

[misc-obeyme]

hi ur writing is literally amazing can i ask u some stuff regarding it/how you go about writing/advice? feel free to ignore this if its not something youre comfy with

were u ever nervous to post fic? i just posted my first one and am like. super embarrassed (i also have a Guilt Complex that influences that lmao). if so, did you find it easier as you kept writing?

also how the hell do you write endings/get the motivation for them? youre really good at tying things together nicely at the end (or the occasional Leave 'Em Wondering) and im curious about your process for it. i can pretty steadily get up to the scene i started the fic to write but after that brain and motivation go honk mimimi

anyways thank you for sharing your work with the internet! i love reading your stuff its always a highlight in my day :)

Hi there, anon!

So first of all, I absolutely LOVE questions about writing, so please always feel free to send me any you may have! I'm such a nerd, I really love talking about the process and I'm happy to discuss it or share advice and so on!

Secondly, omg you're so sweet! Thank you, I'm so glad you like my writing!

Now then, lemme answer your questions! I apologize in advance for the LENGTH of these answers, but I seem to be incapable of writing about this sort of thing without it turning into an entire essay.

Yes, absolutely, I was extremely nervous when I first starting posting my fics. Some of that may have been that I hadn't written fic in a while and I was nervous enough about sharing, but I was extra nervous about messing up characterization. I wasn't used to writing for characters that I didn't create myself. I got nervous again when I started posting smut, too lol.

The thing about this type of anxiety in general is that exposure therapy really is the cure. It's like that for a little bit at first, but the more you do it, the more you prove to yourself that it's no big deal. Nowadays, I have almost no anxiety when I'm posting something fluffy and even most smut pieces are easier for me to post, too.

Another piece of this is remembering that the reason you write fic is for your own enjoyment. You're putting it on the internet on the chance that someone else might like it, too. But really, you have to focus on the things that make you happy. It's easier to deal with posting anxiety if you keep your focus on the joy of creation rather than the adrenaline of sharing. It's hard to do, but it gets easier the more you do it!

Okay, so endings! Uh, here's a fun fact about me, endings are my weakness lol. I have a lot of practice starting things and then never ending them because I absolutely get bored at a certain point. So I know exactly what you mean by the brain going to honk mimimi land.

For me, the trick was to write short stuff. Most of my fics are just scene length. This allowed me to get some practice with writing more endings because I didn't get bored when I was pretty much just writing one scene. So I found a couple things that I like to do for endings specifically, but then I also discovered a way to sort of keep my brain engaged while writing longer stuff.

It kinda all comes down to what you want to leave the reader with. That final paragraph or sentence can really deliver an impactful emotion. So you kinda have to think about what the rest of the scene is about, what specific feeling do you want the reader to have when they get to the end? If you're not sure, you can also frame it as what kind of feeling do you want to have at the end?

One technique I like to use is tying everything back to the beginning. I've used it multiple times, but it's probably most obvious in this Barbatos drabble. The first and last sentences are the same, but you don't have to be that blatant about it lol. That was mostly a stylistic choice. But if you look at the third paragraph and the last paragraph, they are parallels of each other, but they're different. What they convey is that something has changed by the end. So by repeating pieces of the beginning at the end, I'm deliberately illustrating what changed in the middle.

It's like thinking of the ending as a sort of summary of everything that happened in the middle of the story. If you're writing something longer, you can apply this to individual scenes as needed. But you might end up with an entire scene at the beginning and an entire scene at the end that do the same thing (rather than a couple of paragraphs).

Another thing I like to do is leave an implication of further action that isn't included. Something like "You wouldn't leave his room until morning." or maybe "You had a feeling something like this would happen again soon." Like this isn't really the end, but the rest is up to your imagination!

This is more specifically about the last paragraphs/scene/sentence, though. It's good to think of a way to recall the entirety of the story you just told, leaving the reader with the overall feeling you were going for.

But when it comes to longer stories, if you're finding you make it to one scene and then stop, well, that might be the end of your story. For this kind of thing, it really helps me to think about what the end game of the story is. For instance, in my longest fic, The Threads That Bind, I knew it was a Barbatos x MC love story. So the "end" couldn't happen until they had confessed their feelings to each other. A lot of other stuff happened before that, but it all contributed to that final plot point. And there isn't much story after that. The final scene is their confession. (There is a spicy epilogue, but that was just a bonus lol.)

So if you can decide before you even start writing what the goal is, you can write to that goal, filling in a bunch of cool scenes along the way. It doesn't have to be that you know exactly what happens or what the final scene is. When I started writing Threads, I had no idea how the confession was going to go. I just knew that Barbatos and MC had to end up declaring their love somehow.

But I tied that into the rest of the story with the theme of the threads. It was a visual anchor as well as a metaphorical one - magic let them see threads binding them together, but the feeling of belonging to each other was kind of the point of it all. So I was able to take that concept that I'd already used and incorporate it into the final confession scene.

NOW THEN all of this might also be easier if you're an outline type of person, but I most definitely AM NOT. Other writers swear by an outline and you'll probably find a lot of information on how to use one if you Google it.

But outlining for me is like pulling teeth, so I never do it. I write my first draft in a fever dream, with the end goal and a handful of ideas about overall themes and a couple things that I just think would be cool or fun to write. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about the story first, too, but I don't write anything down until I'm writing that first draft.

I could probably write a whole book on my methods for writing, but my biggest piece of advice for this kind of thing is EXPERIMENT.

The best part about writing is that aside from the basic fundamentals (spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc), there are NO RULES. So if you're finding you're always struggling with finishing, try out anything and everything that might help you with that. Try writing outlines, try not writing outlines, try ending your story with the scene you were working toward, try thinking of a new scene you want to write as the ending scene. If it works, great! If it doesn't work, no problem! Just chuck it and try something else.

Sometimes the best thing for me to do is to ask myself what would be the most fun to write next? And then just going for it. My opinion is that you can always edit things later!

Anyway, I hope some of that helps! I'm sorry I really rambled quite a bit, but like I said, I love talking about this kind of thing lol.

Good luck, anon, and I believe in you!

[ssaemilyhotchner]

For your 1k celebration 🎉 Congrats!!!

B

hope you enjoy & ty for participating! 💙

OTHER 1K DRABBLES | Read on AO3 Join the celebration by requesting a letter!

letter: B | prompt: bruises | wc: 1.1k | cw: implied sexual activity | a/n: A professor!Emily AU inspired by the annoying student of the same name (lmao) in 7x22, Profiling 101. Set roughly post-S7, with Emily leaving the BAU, getting married, and taking up teaching/consulting instead of accepting the London Interpol position.

Please do not repost (reblogs welcome) or otherwise claim as your own.

--

The whispers began the moment Emily set foot in her Abnormal Psychology 301 classroom.

She took a sip of her coffee and examined the expressions of the lowerclassmen in the front row: the self-assured, oversexed boys who thought themselves to be charming and irresistible. She didn’t need to listen to know what they were saying to one another. Their smirks gave it away.

She was never going to forget to pick up her dry cleaning ever again.

Rolling her eyes and murmuring here we go under her breath as she settled in for her A.M. classes, Emily cleared her throat, the sound echoing in the lecture hall. “Good morning, class. Let’s settle down and get started.”

Zimmerman, a repeat offender vying for the title of biggest pest, shot her a crooked grin. “Have a nice night, Mrs. H?”

The whispering instantly stopped. A few students shot each other incredulous, wide-eyed glances.

Emily bit back her sarcastic retort and gave him a wan smile instead. She certainly didn’t enjoy this game…but she did know she would win. “I did, David, thank you for asking. Now, I’d like us all to pick up where we left off on Monday, resuming our chapter on J. M. Macdonald—” 

“How’d you get those bruises on your legs?”

God, please grant me the strength to refrain from marching down there and wrapping my arms around his neck.

Emily fixed him with an unamused stare. “We’ve been rearranging our living room furniture,” she deadpanned. Turning away from Zimmerman, she addressed the rest of the class. "From the reading and preferably without looking at your notes, who can tell me the three parts of the Macdonald triad that are considered to be indicative of later aggressive and violent behavior in adults?"

Emily smiled gratefully as one of her most ambitious students’ hands flew up. "Yes, Phoebe?"

"Cruelty to animals, bedwetting that persists beyond the age of twelve to fifteen, and—”

“Pyromania,” Zimmerman interrupted. “I’ve got to say, Mrs. H, those bruises look an awful lot like fingerprints.” His grin turned lecherous. “What else did you do with that furniture of yours?”

Emily turned toward him slowly. On her face was a glare, not unlike that of her husband, that had cowed many an unsub in her BAU days. “Hungover on a Wednesday, David? That’s pretty desperate, even for you, don’t you think?” The class erupted into laughter at her jab and she pointed to the door. “Get out of my class and don’t come back until you’ve sobered up.” 

His confident countenance faltered. "But—"

“The longer you waste my time and your classmates’ time, the more I’m willing to convince myself that you’re not just hungover, you’re actively drunk. Public intoxication is a Class 4 misdemeanor, you know. And that’s before taking into consideration that this is a college campus and you aren't of legal drinking age.” She clucked and re-emphasized her pointer finger. “Out.”

Checkmate.

It was quiet for a good minute; then, grumbling something under his breath about the hair of the dog, David Zimmerman gathered his belongings, rose to his feet, slung his bag over his shoulder, and exited the lecture hall, slamming the door behind him.

A beat later, Emily let a smile curve her red lips. “Moving on from our impromptu lesson on student conduct code violations: Phoebe or anyone else, what can you tell me about the link between these violent tendencies and parental neglect or abuse?”

--

"Aaron?"

"In the den," Hotch answered, looking up from a lap full of case files as Emily came padding barefoot into the room, her house keys and black pumps in hand. A smile lit up his face as she leaned over to give him a kiss in greeting, one that quickly turned into more. Emily sighed against his mouth as he swept his tongue over her cupid’s bow, opening her to him with gentle insistence. In mere seconds, her head was feeling fuzzy and warm.

They broke apart reluctantly, Hotch's hands coming to rest on her hips. Emily took her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes sparkling as she met the lust-darkened gaze of her husband. "Well, that was one hell of a greeting.��

“My wife is one hell of a woman,” he replied simply. “Especially in that dress. I couldn’t stop thinking about you at work today.”

"Yeah, well. I regret listening to you this morning.”

His brow furrowed. "How so?”

"I mean that that’s the last time my no-clean-slacks contingency plan is a dress, regardless how compelling your argument is. Even given how informal they are, jeans would have been better.”

“But you look amazing,” Hotch argued, thumbing the black crepe material.

Emily chuckled. "And I have visible bruising on my legs—bruises that vaguely resemble finger prints. Bruises that I pointed out this morning before someone ambushed me with round three,” she added, running her thumb over his bottom lip and grinning when he immediately nipped at her fingers. “You’ve sat in on my class before, you know all the wiseass boys sit in the first few rows.”

“I can’t imagine why,” he said dryly. She snorted. “Let me guess. Was it Zimmerman? And did you kick him out this time?”

“Yes and yes.”

He winced. “Do I want to know what he told you?"

"Mouthy little bastard asked about the bruises, then when I said they were from moving furniture, he asked what else we did on said furniture.” She rolled her eyes. “The sad thing is, he really is a bright kid. When he’s not still inebriated from the night before, that is. Who drinks that much on a Tuesday night?” 

Hotch pulled Emily onto his lap. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Want me to kick his ass for you?"

"No need. I think I did a fair amount of ass-kicking today."

"I don't doubt it.” Hotch slid a hand down her thigh, his fingers tracing mindless patterns into the sensitive skin around her knee. Then he smiled, coy but sweet. "Last night was good, wasn’t it?” he murmured.

Emily hummed contentedly, maneuvering in his embrace so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and rest her forehead against his. Snapshots of their evening sprang to mind in rapid succession: crawling back onto the bed, his body pressing hers into the mattress, his mouth on her chest, her hands fisting in his hair. Hotch, in a frenzy, reaching with greedy fingers to grab her legs and fold them high up against his chest before diving in. 

“Mmm. It was perfect."

“How about you get settled in," he proposed, his voice soft and low, "and I find you in our bedroom for round four?”

"That depends," Emily replied cheekily.

"On?"

She gave him a devilish smile. "On where you plan on marking me next. Nowhere too visible, please."

Hotch simply grinned. "I make no promises."

[sometimesiammybpd]

quick mention: i have already written one post somewhat on being aromantic. i honestly forgot about this, but here's that if you wanna read. this will cross over on certain things i've mentioned there and other posts because of the more general topic. don't mean to repeat myself, but this is all still so new to me and i want to understand it better and this helps /gen.

this post is gonna be both about what it's like to have hypersexuality, but also what it's like for me as someone who is aromantic because to me they go hand in hand. not great at intros lmao.

anyways hi. not really in the bestest of moods while writing this, so i apologize if it comes off a bit brash or something. idk. it's 5 (almost 6) am for me when writing so like. that's probably why. probably. i wanna talk about being aromantic first because that's the more complicated one for me personally and it's the one that honestly still bothers me. i didn't realize i was aromantic until this year. more specifically, a few months ago. for, i think 3 years now, i'd assumed i was demiromantic because i thought i was still having crushes on people. real "i could imagine my entire life with you" crushes, which i wasn't. that i'll go into obviously. but as i've spent time looking back on things because of all that just falls into place for me with the aro label, i realize it wasn't there from the start. don't get me wrong though. crushes were not common for me as a kid.

i really do think i was demiromantic until about a year ago. because when i was younger, i didn't feel anything towards anyone. i didn't even think i had a sexuality because i didn't like girls or boys. there's stuff i won't get into right now, but by late elementary - early middle, i was getting bullied heavily and they were starting to get so fixated on who likes who and all that bullshit. which did come back to me because at certain points, they would walk to me and ask who i liked. if i didn't have an answer, they'd bully me more. so i started to keep a mental list of sorts. it's creepy to say honestly, even with context, but this is what worked because it was either this or just have everything get worse. it wasn't anything bad, i would just choose a girl and she'd be my "crush" should they ask. each year would be a different girl and it was just to not have things get worse (they eventually did anyways). but by like 7th grade, i thought it was just normal. i mean. kinda. i wanted to believe it was, but this was also when i started to spiral for the first time and so i was already deep into self-hatred, self-destructive tendencies, shit like that. so not only could it NOT be normal according to my mind but if i wasn't the person i was, maybe it'd be different. shit like that.

8th grade was the first time i ever did feel a crush on someone. and i knew it was actually a crush and not some confused emotion. it was towards my closest friend at the time and lasted years. i think when i first started to bring this (the realization of being aro) up to my friends, i stuck this under the "hyperfixation" category, which it was. but it was also a real crush. and honestly, it was the first time i ever felt normal. because normal people get crushes and want to date. that's what i was always told and that's what i thought needed to happen. and it led me to pursue her for longer than i ever should have. she couldn't date because of her parents but there's no way in hell i would have been a good partner at the time anyways. regardless, i pursued it through sophomore year of high school. the history between me and her is too rough to talk about outside of that, but yeah. and i think i know why. i mention wanting to feel normal a lot. at the time i really did. because to me, i didn't know myself. i grew up heavily conservative and christian (although the christianity part never stuck) and it really did form a mental relationship between feeling the way i did and stuff like being gay or bi that was so unhealthy. as i went through high school, the friends i met pushed me further left which did help when it came to this. because i remember watching love, simon at 15 (i liked the movie so shut it /hj) and watching him fall in love at the end, i cried. because i wanted that. but honestly i don't know if i did at the same time.

it all felt so unreasonably scary and outside of the unnamed friend, i never felt anything towards anyone like that. at least until jake entered the picture (fake name, separate post coming later). for the quickest context, he was 19 when i met him and by this point around 20-21. i fell in love with him. i don't even know why but i really did. multiple times. it was the first time i couldn't get rid of a crush, which was a new and very NOT fun experience. and when we finally did date, it was three days of him refusing to talk to me and then breaking up with me and blaming me. it was not fun. i think this was the first time that something romantic fucked me up because i didn't really trust anyone after this until i met nathan. and if you read the post about him, you know how that went. point being, that fucked me up more. and then i had another friend after nathan and before the one i met through bumble that also fucked me up more. and that's kinda what got me to want to write this post in the first place outside of the hypersexuaity part (comes later). i know i said in the last post how unsure i felt about relationships. and i won't say that's not untrue, but i have my answer.

i don't think i want to be in a relationship. i like being alone. i like being by myself and doing what i want. i care about everyone so much, but that feeling people say you get when you wanna do anything for your partner . . . i just don't get. i didn't really get it with nathan even though we were together for long enough and i did feel something towards him. but i never got that feeling. i did a lot for him and it was mainly because i natually have a similar instinct to help anyone because it's just who i am. but like i like my routine and for some reason, it actually makes me upset at times to imagine changing it for a relationship. i don't even know why but i'm kinda just accepting it. i'm not the most likable person and i know that also affects my "chances," as it usually gets labeled. i still have a lot of bad habits and toxic behaviors that i'm working to change but i know it turns a lot of people off of me than i'd want.

but i don't care, tbh in the romantic sense. it's so weird to try to explain to people that i don't feel things like that. i came to a realization a couple months back when i figured out the hyperfixations getting confused for a crush shit. it made so much sense to me when i learned the possibility of that with people with adhd and shit. and it just blew my mind.

until one of my closest friends at the time labeled it as weird and said i'm not normal for feeling like that. that got to me. i didn't expect someone that close to me to respond like that. at that point i hadn't even figured out the aromantic label yet and moreso if it was fitting for me. but that made me almost not want to. because i felt like i wasn't normal enough to deserve to get the answer. it really really hurt coming from them which only made it worse. but i eventually pushed through by myself and came to aromantic. it took me a long time to actually confidently say it because i kept thinking i was demi. i kept mixing hyperfixations up left and right (that didn't even last long enough to really count) and it kept making me wonder if maybe i still could feel that way. honestly, i don't discount it permanently. no one knows what the future holds.

anyways, yeah.

the only reason i'm so concerned about labels isn't because i have something to prove or whatever. it just. i have felt hopeless my entire life because everything others felt or did, i was the opposite. and most of it being not on purpose too made it infinitely worse mentally. it dragged me down because i thought i'd never get answers. and honestly, i wonder sometimes what my child self would think now about me. i really wonder. to be fair, they'd probably ask why i'm even still alive but yknow.

the point why i'm writing a second post on being / feeling aromantic isn't to retell what i already had written. i completely forgot i wrote that original post until half-way through writing this AND i only found it by complete accident lmao. EITHER WAY. what i really wanted to write about was the way my brain mixes up hyperfixations as crushes and what that feels like to me. because all of what i wrote prior to this was supposed to be context but i'm a yapper. to me, it doesn't feel like a hyperfixation until it's over. and i'll be real and say that i don't honestly even know what a real crush is supposed to feel like. when i started to like nathan, i only noticed because of things like how he was the only person i was talking to. or how my mood was starting to be affected by how he was doing. or how i really did want to spend every second of my life with him (which was a rare thought but it was there for a moment). stuff like that. and even now i'm not sure if it was a crush or just a really long hyperfixation. because to me, hyperfixations are things i want to spend every moment on. things i can't stop thinking about. sometimes they do affect my mood in ways that are hard to explain. i mean, this entire thing is hard as fuck to explain but yknow. and what made it more complicated was a lot of the "hyperfixation-crushes", or whatever the hell you wanna call them, started going away insanely fast. right before i realized i was most likely aromantic, i thought i had a crush on three different people. all three started and ended within 6 hours and it wasn't like how i felt with nathan. it felt like something was there, but it was almost unreachable. and the more i tried, the more it went away until suddenly it felt like i snapped out of something and woke up. and it was gone. like i know that sounds dramatic as hell, but that's how it felt. that's genuinely how it felt / feels for me.

and i remember trying to explain this to my friends . . . and they dismissed it and called me weird. which hurt. it wasn't like a big insult but this was me trying to figure myself out. and the friends whom said they would be supportive as they were queer themselves dismissed me and said that it wasn't real. i still don't understand myself. i still don't understand what got me here or where i fall on the spectrum where labels do and don't matter (they matter right now for me because i've had no answers for so fucking long). i still don't understand most of me and everything and. i don't know.

it's hard to talk about. it's hard to be honest and open because it makes me feel like. i'll never be accepted. which is unfortunately how i've felt my entire life growing up how i did but that's for another post. either way.

this is honestly a topic i don't see a proper way to transition into, but i wanna talk about having hypersexuality as someone with bpd who is also aro. because let me just say that it's hell. i mean, i doubt it has anything with my capability to form or not form romantic thoughts and feelings but. anyways. i haven't had a proper off-period in almost six months and it's killing me. for folks who don't know, depending on the person will depend on the specifics of their hypersexuality (if they have it because i believe while it's common with folks who have bpd, it's not guaranteed). the most common ways it presents though are periods where sex is the only thing they can think about and usually will lead one to do anything they can to get sex, even if it means putting themselves in harms way. the other way it presents is of utter disgust towards anything sexual to a point where they usually don't even feel the need to masturbate because it's just. too much. i have been fucking stuck in the first way for almost half a god damn year. and it's so so so painful.

because a lot of days for me, i wake up and just feel horny. and so i do what i need to do and it's not enough. and i ironically don't get good enough luck on any hookup apps to actually "put myself in harms way" as i put it (or effectively ignoring any warning signs because sex). so i end up averaging out at five or six times (masturbation) because i got no responses and nothing else is working. and it's a living hell because when it kicks in, it kicks in. and there's nothing i do besides have sex or something to get it to stop. like it doesn't matter what i was doing. my brain just shuts off. i literally get a feeling of like being so uncomfortable because all i want to do is have sex. i don't remember when or if i last had an off period. because i think back to a moment when i was eighteen. i mentioned it slightly in my introduction post, but when i was eighteen i signed up for grindr. at this point, i was already relieving myself 2-3 times a day minimum and some going up to 4-5. and when i got on grindr, i was actually looking for a long-term relationship. i don't remember that lasting long before i realized i could use it for hookups and eventually dropped my walls and said fuck it. and this is where i need to mention two things. the main event and the way i approach(ed) hookup apps.

the way i approach(ed) hookup apps once i dropped the "i want a relationship" thing was that i had / still kinda have no regard for safety. all i wanted to know was that they weren't like 55, had a decent member, and if they'd be down to fuck. i ask now, but at the time i didn't even ask for stds or anything of the sort. when i get on a hookup app, i lose a complete sense of time. not because i want to, but because i become so horny all i can fuckin think about is finding someone. anyone. there's been times where my body starts shaking because of it. it's awful. but yeah, i had no sense of making sure it was safe for me to do. which also pissed everyone off because i was also so forward with what i wanted that i was impatient and desperate and all that. i'm not proud of it, but half the time it feels like i literally cannot help it. it's something else that's so difficult to explain (or unfortunately get some to believe). but that leads into the main event.

the "main event" was the moment that this all came crashing down on me. i found a guy on grindr who said he'd be willing to let me top and he'd give me head and all the lot. i was down and we exchanged pictures and he told me where he was located. the one stipulation he had was that i needed to pay for him to get some weed. i was desperate, so i agreed. i went to my mom, lied and said i was meeting friends from college, and then drove off to cincinnati after going to the bank to get the money. before i go any further, i am a bottom LOL. i also didn't really know my identity then and while i don't particularly hate my biological parts, i am not proud of it. this was a rare occasion. anyways. i picked up the guy and immediately, he gave me meth-head vibes which did make me a little nervous. at the same time, i completely did not care because we were gonna fuck. i gave him the money and he offered to blow me while i drove him to his dealer's. i declined because i could barely focus on driving as it was. once we got there, he got out and said he'd be a minute. i left my car running in the in-between mode where it uses your battery but no gas. a few minutes go by and he texts me saying he was making sure he was cleaned out and was sorry for it taking so long. i got like one text after this and then he disappeared entirely. i waited for hours longer than i should have because it was like 9:30 i think when i left and was 11, almost 12 am by this point. so i finally said fuck it and was gearing to leave...

until i realized my car had completely died. yeah. the in-between state didn't feel so smart now lmao. my mom was panicking because i wasn't home. i was starting to freeze because it was like 32 degrees F outside. i had this big comforter in my trunk and that did nothing! it was to a point where my body was physically shaking because it had lost that much heat. i had no heater i could run, nowhere to go. it was the scariest moment of my life. and at this point, 2 - 3 am. finally AAA comes and jumps my car and i get home at around 3 am. it took me the entire car ride with the heater blasting to even feel my hands again. not my body, just hands. it was bad. and i do admit, i wouldn't do it again. i've been a lot more careful now than before.

but it's not just hookup apps. for me, hypersexuality ruins relationships. nathan and i were never going to work out, but the second i had to start seeing him in a more sexual nature, it was done for. and i will never forgive myself for that. and it's never changed. if i had a close relationship with anyone and it became sexual, it'd be over. and this is what really makes me feel so abnormal. cause i hate it so much. i fucking hate feeling so horny that i almost mentally shut down or the willingness to almost end my life for maybe sex. or ruining relationships because no matter how hard i try, all i can think about is us fucking. it's my living hell. i genuinely feel like some days i can't even get anything done because i just can't stop feeling horny. even though i don't even have it in me physically to have sex, it won't stop or go away.

this post is way too long lmao. but yeah that's me sharing more than i ever thought i would. if this helps someone even just by putting into words maybe what you thought wasn't possible, then i'm glad /gen. i just wish it didn't make going day by day so unnecessarily difficult. like as if it wasn't hard enough

[bonkbobl]

i should be sleeping but i couldn't help but check your blog tonight and i'm so glad i did lolol,, hihi !! i just caught up on your last two recent fics and i must say, though i loved loved state of undress, i do find myself wanting to see more of distraction first. it was unsettling to read (the SA part mostly and the aftermath) yet so intriguing... i especially liked when you wrote of roose's conflict in realizing and feeling regret of his actions towards the reader & how he wants to apologize to her. i'm curious to see where you'll take it next ! (also the absolute fear i held when reader had to speak in front of everyone in the tent 😭,, i love that catelyn spoke up for her tho :') <3 ) needless to say, i would not mind whichever fic is posted first, as long as the one with a happier ending is posted second bwahahaha,,, i'm a sucker for angst but i fear roose bolton will be the death of me in this category 😭

i love that bed chem by sabrina was what loosely inspired you for state of undress bwahaha,,, which the gif??? where do u find these gifs they're all just so precisely fitting !! like even distraction he's so up close like 😳... AND OMG DISTRACTION WAS THE FIC U HAD TO REWRITE??? ur absolutely insane and dedicated and i love you for it 😭 i hope you took breaks in between writing :')

school has just begun and has been clocking my ass but seeing your posts have rejuvenated me !!! it is always a delight to see something new from you, fic or not haha,,, i hope school has been improving for you btw and i'm sorry to hear about your partner :/ i hope the split was civil and decent :']

btw those tiktok edits you're talking about.... is it the crawling back to you edits because istg i too have been watching them on repeat !! i like these two a lot as well:

https://www.tiktok.com/@rejoiceprime/video/7376165691335937285?lang=en — the song is kinda silly but the scene where he tilts his head back in his seat is just so KLDJSKLJDSKJDS 🫣

https://www.tiktok.com/@mannis_cc/video/7342193627386449184?lang=en — this one is just so dark and the song is just so him and ughhh

i hope the links work/ are valid and u like the edits haha,, let me know if you've seen them before :)

i look forward to reading the second parts to your recent fics, as well as any other new ones you might have in mind :) please do take care dear author !! wishing u all the best ! — 🩰 anon

im really happy you enjoyed them both ahhh!!! also yeah definitely the part 2 to distraction, if i end up writing it, will still have angst themes. although i like kind of tried to flesh out the ideas a bit more and im not super sure if im that passionate about it :/ but we'll see. i think i have lingering feelings about that fic and would like to flesh it out a bit more.

i hope school gets better for you soon. its lowkey been kicking my ass too LOLL especially since my courses are getting more advanced and more STEM focused.

ALSO LMAO NOT YOU KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT IM CRYING LOL. yes its those. also thanks for the new food i'll be saving these for later <3