#rendering is hell on earth btw .

[cs300]

Pick up all these broken pieces I have left behind I've left you behind

my scromblos  💜 💜 💜

[just-a-music-and-poetry-lover]

Something that has been on my mind since I watched The Legend of Korra (I loved the show btw)

If the Avatar Cycle is based on the elements (duh) and where the person comes from, then every Avater after Korra is going to be much harder to find. I'll explain my thinking.

When Roku died, it was common knowledge that the next Avatar would be born to the Air Nomads as per the cycle (air, water, earth, fire).

When Aang died, the White Lotus went to look for the his reencarnation in the Water Tribes. Makes sense, right? Because, despite there being a bigger mix of people from all nations in The United Republic, the four nations still exist and the majority of their populations still originated there.

But take Mako and Bolin's case, for example. Their father was from Ba Sing Se, aka Earth Kingdom, and their mother was from the Fire Nation. We can see these characteristics in each of them, either in their physique or in their bending. But hypothetically, how would they be "considered" to be a potential Avatar? (I know that that's no one's choice, it's just word choice)

The whole premise of the Avatar is that they can bend all four elements, and as we saw with Korra, they can start bending multiple elements at a young age.

After the war and with the establishing of Republic City, people with different backgrounds started living amongst each other more often and having children together. Korra's parents were both Water Tribe in origin, but they might not have been. People of her generation and even older are more mixed than that.

So when the time for the next Avatar comes, the White Lotus (?) will have a hell of a time finding them. Food for thought.

Did I miss any crucial information that would have rendered this post useless?

[astranauticus]

ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

welp. tales games you’ve done it again

you gave me a story i liked, characters i adored, mysteries to solve, gameplay that was charming and engaging... and then you completely fuckin flubbed the landing.

if you want a review of the Tales of Arise ending that doesn’t bitch about romance being somehow bad and evil, it’ll be below the cut. Obvi beware of endgame spoilers. Note that I haven’t gotten to whatever postgame quests there may or may not be, so I’ll try to keep my complaints to whatever story elements are already set in stone.

It’s probably the single most predictable Tales ending of all of them. Not a single unexpected thing happens, but even so, the way in which all those anticipated events happen is underwhelming and clunky.

let’s take the “vox populi, vox dei” moment where Alphen calls upon the will of Dahna to function as an intermediary to seal the great spirit. essentially... the citizens who are supposedly so intrinsic to this process are barely aware of what’s going on, if that. nobody’s will is united. nobody’s thoughts are bent their way. they all see a lil glob of light leave their body and go, “huh. that was weird. back to cleaning out my earwax, i guess” and that’s that. it has the vibe of alphen swiping his debit card at a walmart checkout and having to ask the listless cashier for his cashback. it feels transactional at best - no heart or soul in it, for all that it’s intended to be an emotional scene tying in all the NPCs we’ve met through our journeys.

for that matter, that scene would have been rendered completely unnecessary had Alphen not tapped into his inner theater kid and monologued in front of the villain before grabbing the Renas Alma. there’s literally no reason he would have made that choice. it’s obvious that was only included to shoehorn in the desired Vox Populi scene. it just doesn’t fit. clunky, like i said.

what would have worked would be if, after his defeat, Vholran scrabbles on his hands and knees madly to snatch the Renas Alma before Alphen can get close. he clutches at it, eyes wide with madness and frustration because he knows if Alphen tries to take it from him now, he’s too weak to stop it happening. and there’s Alphen’s voice, soothing, like he’s trying to calm a wild animal. trying to offer understanding and compassion. Vholran’s too far gone to see it for what it is. he is, at the core of his character, a child having a tantrum. this is no different. he screams his rage and in a last burst of strength, he beats the Renas Alma on the ground over and over until it shatters, laughing and crying and screaming in equal measure. a man who thought himself god, reduced to the level of a toddler throwing a pissfit. given not the slightest shred of dignity in his final moments, because he was offered a way out, and refused to take it. the narrative had no business treating him like an adult with valid choices when he had only ever acted like a child. for that matter, they had him vanish in a flash of light. it’s completely unclear what the fuck happened or why.

hell, they don’t even explain where that field of flowers is, when Alphen and Shionne are released. is it Rena, reborn? wtf do you mean it can be returned to its former state? are we now saying that Hollowing is reversible? is Migal revivable? how about all the others? can anyone on god’s green fuckin earth explain to me how gravity and oxygen worked for everybody on Rena? THEY WERE IN SPACE, CHIEF. most of Rena’s volume was hollowed the fuck out. was the mass just obliterated? if so, where’d the gravitational field come from? is hollowing liquid really dense and that’s why? but judging by the amount of fluid in the puddle that used to be Migal, that’s not the case. it’s fairly dense, sure, but not enough to account for an entire planet’s worth of matter.

i really don’t think astral energy, once drained of a thing badly enough to annihilate it, can be returned like it’s within the thirty day policy. i don’t think it issues receipts. this seems like a load of horseshit, particularly after Mister AlienMan-35 told them the planet of Rena would implode the instant the great spirit was removed.

but if they were somehow teleported to Dahna instead, HOW?????? WHERE’D THEY END UP??????? oh, and another fucking thing: how in the shit did Vholran end up getting to Rena in a ship identical to Alphen’s (which was a 300 year old relic, btw - they don’t make those anymore)? Where’d he get the ship? Last we knew, he was burning to death on Lenegis. But now we’re expected to believe he went out and found the only other 300+ year old ship in the joint and took it for a joyride. and somehow lit this thing on fire too. oh, and don’t forget that he drove that piece of shit directly into the final boss stage which was quite literally in an alternate dimension; Alphen et co had to jump into a portal to get there, and even that was after walking the full length of the final dungeon because they were told the shielding precluded just flying directly into its face. yknow. the way Vholran flew directly into its face. SOMEBODY WAS FULL OF SHIT, HUH

so much about the ending was dumb or fell flat or couldn’t be explained or was outright a plot hole based on earlier dialogue. literally the only part that worked was the romance, so if anybody is complaining about that, you know they didn’t actually use a single critical thinking skill.

btw it’s not a hetcetera if alphen’s bi which he obviously is going by how hard he’s flirted with dohalim

[1-800-smash]

can you do the alphabet with kirishima please 🥺👉👈

「 now i know my abc’s. 」

feat. kirishima.

summary: learn the alphabet with everyone’s favorite daddy shark ;)

warnings: nsfw content.

[all characters are aged up appropriately.]

word count: 2k

request: @im-alyssa-btw — ❝can you do the alphabet with kirishima please 🥺👉👈❞

a/n: ahh my first request, thank you so much! i hope you like it as much as i liked writing it. please enjoy  ♡ —  shelbs.

submitted — [09.16.20]

nsfw under the cut.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

⚘ the most attentive and caring to his partner after sex, you need something? name it.

⚘ water, your favorite snack, an extra pillow...

⚘ doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll always get it for you. all you have to do is ask.

⚘ it’s the least he can do after all you do for him alone, he’s so appreciative of all you do.

⚘ 100% down for cuddles after, he loves the feeling of your body on his.

⚘ and who could forget about the soft kisses he peppers your face with afterwards? not kirishima, that’s for sure!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

⚘ kirishima is an absolute ass man.

⚘ there i said it.

⚘ he loves grabbing your ass when you ride him or even just staring at it from across the room, he fucking loves it.

⚘ and as for his favorite body part? his hands.

⚘ how else is he supposed to grab or smack your ass?

⚘ but also because he just loves holding your hand...

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

⚘ his loads are thick and when he cums, he comes a lot.

⚘ has a nice milk white color to it but still clear and very messy.

⚘ the taste isn’t that bad either, not that salty and you can swallow it like a champ.

⚘ fuck, if he doesn’t love it when you swallow...

⚘ and when he cums inside you, the feeling of it pooling out of you is enough to make you run straight to the bathroom.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

⚘ this may sound a little boring, but i don’t think he’d have one?

⚘ he’s not that experienced with sex and while he is open to experimentation i don’t think he would do anything on his own.

⚘ if you introduced him to things like toys, i think he would be really into building a collection with you.

⚘ he wants to try it ALL.

⚘ maybe even try them on himself when you’re not around to use them with?

⚘ but as for by himself, probably not.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

⚘ he doesn’t have much experience when it comes to sex.  

⚘ our baby shark doesn’t mess around when it comes to matters of the heart, it takes a lot of trust for him to be able to have a physical relationship with another person.

⚘ but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with an eagerness to learn, he wants to make you feel good!

⚘ with some careful guidance and mutual trust, he’ll map out every inch of your body with careful precision.

⚘ which areas draw out those cute, soft moans of yours and which ones leave you crying out his name is desperation.

⚘ it won’t take long for him to leave you a shivering, cum-filled mess by the end of the night.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

⚘ he likes to see his partner’s face during sex, he loves looking at all the expressions you make.

⚘ from the adorable moans you let out to the sinful look on your face as he makes you cum for the 3rd time.

⚘ he also likes to make sure he’s doing a good job and making you feel as great as he does.

⚘ missionary would be the most common in your relationship.

⚘ but he’s always down to try new positions with you, he wants nothing more than to make you happy.

⚘ he’s also a big fan of cowgirl, he’ll be rendered absolutely helpless under your control when your fucking his brains out.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

⚘ he takes having sex pretty serious, so he won’t be joking around too much.

⚘ that isn’t to say he won’t try to lighten the mood, especially if his partner is self-conscious.

⚘ he wants you to feel absolutely comfortable, and if that requires him to be a little less serious then so be it.

⚘ anything to make you feel safe when you’re with him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

⚘ he tries his best to groom it but he mostly just leaves it the way it is.

⚘ the carpet DOES NOT match the drapes.

⚘ them pubes are as black as his hair was on the day he was born.

⚘ probably wouldn’t dye his pubes, he already puts too much time into his hair alone, why would he add his pubic hair into that mess?

⚘ his pubes are not as spiky as his hair but still have that pointed look and feel to them.

⚘ but don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt! in fact, it feels even better when they rub up against your clit as he fucks you into the mattress.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

⚘ oh, this boy is SUCH a romantic.

⚘ can be cliche at times but honestly it’s so endearing that you could care less.

⚘ he wants you to know just how much you mean to him, and if that turns him into an absolute SIMP for you than so be it.

⚘ he’s always whispering how beautiful you look when you’re in the moment, caressing your face, kissing you everywhere.

⚘ when he’s done there will be no doubt in your mind that this boy loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

⚘ he masturbates at least 2-3 times a week or well at least he used to until he met you.

⚘ why would he need to masturbate when you’re sitting there and so ready to please him?

⚘ he doesn’t like to make sex just about pleasing him though, but he has to admit you do a good enough job doing that on your own.

⚘ the only time he really masturbates now is when you’re not in the mood (which is rare) or not home.

⚘ and even then it still doesn’t do much for him the way it used to, not when you can make him cum so much harder just by moving your hips that certain way...

⚘ you’ve got him seeing stars.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

⚘ let me tell you, this man has a PRAISE kink.

⚘ nothing will get him off faster than knowing how good he’s making you feel.

⚘ kirisima’s always struggled with his self-confidence and self-worth.

⚘ that’s why he’s so much better at making other people feel good rather than himself.

⚘ so for him to hear just how good he’s making his partner feel makes him really happy.

⚘ please, please, PLEASE tell this boy what a good job he’s doing!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

⚘ he prefers a more romantic setting when it comes to sex.

⚘ *cough* your bedroom.

⚘ he’s definitely down to fuck you wherever though if he’s needy enough.

⚘ on the couch? why not. in the shower? hell yeah. on the kitchen counter? oh absolutely.

⚘ isn’t a big fan of public sex, he’d be way to worried of getting caught by someone.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

⚘ he adores you to the moon and back, but what he admires about you the most is your strength.

⚘ show off how strong you are with him around and he’s going to be swooning over you.

⚘ he also loves being surprised with you by being the one to initiate.

⚘ it makes him feel loved and wanted!

⚘ and there’s nothing that makes him feel better than knowing that you want him to fuck your brains out.

⚘ figuratively speaking, of course.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⚘ nothing that involves hurting you in any shape or form, he loves you!

⚘ why on earth would he want to hurt you?

⚘ he’s the type of guy who would stop sex just to ask if you’re okay from even just a HINT of discomfort.

⚘ there is no way you could convince him otherwise, there just isn’t.

⚘ hurting your partner isn’t MANLY.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

⚘ absolute BEAST when it comes to giving oral.

⚘ he will leave you trembling under his touch as he draws out another orgasm out of you.

⚘ you’re not even going to remember your own name when he’s done.

⚘ sorry, but kirishima just takes the cake with this one!

⚘ no one will ever be able to eat pussy like this man does.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

⚘ his pace starts off slow and sensual, but he tends to pick it up once you get closer to your release.

⚘ he doesn’t like being too rough with you but with enough coercion he might be persuaded to be a little rougher than usual.

⚘ obviously, he doesn’t want to hurt you, so communication is key with him!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

⚘ when the two of you have sex he really wants to take his time and leave you feeling absolutely satisfied.

⚘ he doesn’t mind quickies, he just wants more time to be intimate with you.

⚘ if the two of you only had time for a quickie then he wouldn’t mind, but he would think about how much he was going to make it up to you the next time you two are alone together.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

⚘ hell yeah, this man is game to experiment!

⚘ as long as you’re comfortable with what you’re doing than he’s good to go.

⚘ if at any point you want to stop then he’s there in a heartbeat, whatever you need it’s yours.

⚘ don’t even worry about it, he just wants you to feel safe and secure.

⚘ as for risks, it depends on what the risk is...

⚘ nothing that will hurt you or have anyone walk in on you both.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

⚘ he can go for at least 3 rounds, maybe 4 if you’re really into it.

⚘ baby boy has lots of stamina and all the more desire to please you all night long.

⚘ he wastes no time in fucking you absolutely silly.

⚘ sex with him can usually last an hour, but if you go for more rounds after they’ll not be as long.

⚘ what can he say? it takes a lot of energy in pleasing the one you love.

⚘ and god, does he love you a lot.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

⚘ he has a pretty open mind when it comes to these things.

⚘ now, while kirishima wouldn’t own any on his own volition, i think if his partner recommended it he would definitely want to try it for himself.

⚘ it doesn’t take much to convince him!

⚘ and if he really enjoys it he may even look for toys on his own to surprise you with or ones he thinks you might like.

⚘ i could definitely see him being into it once he gets nudged in the right direction.

⚘ *wink wink* ;)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

⚘ he doesn’t like to tease that much.

⚘ now whether his partner likes to is a different story all together.

⚘ but mostly, he loves to fulfill his partners needs and he just doesn’t think teasing will get him there any better.

⚘ what can i say, this man lives to please.

⚘ would be open to tease you if you suggested it to him and assured him you will like it,

⚘ he’s very big into over-stimulation though, he will leave you an incoherent mess that’s unable to walk when you’re done trust me on this.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

⚘ he can be very noisy and it doesn’t take much to break him.

⚘ the closer he gets to cumming the louder he’ll be, broken whines escaping from him as he tried to hold just a bit longer.

⚘ but with you, it’s impossible.

⚘ you know exactly how to make him cum until he’s whimpering from over-stimulation.

⚘ needless to say, the noises this boy makes is heaven to your ears.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

⚘ he has some pretty sharp teeth, so i wouldn’t be surprised if he might have a slight biting kink.

⚘ while he absolutely hates the thought of hurting you i think he’d be ok with soft nibbles here and there.

⚘ as long a you’re ok with it, of course!

⚘ i mean... they don’t call him daddy shark for nothing ;)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

⚘ he’s about 5.6 inches, uncircumcised.

⚘ it’s pretty thick and has a nice girth to it, makes you feel small whenever you hold it in your hand.

⚘ but god, if it doesn’t make you feel fucking amazing.

⚘ he can make you cum 3 times just from his cock alone, and fuck if he doesn’t make sure you do every damn time.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

⚘ he has an average sex drive.

⚘ he’s enjoys having sex like any other guy does but by no means is he going to be humping your leg every 10 minutes.

⚘ he respects what you want and if you don’t feel like it that’s all you have to say and he’ll go back to whatever you two were doing before.

⚘ he drinks respect women juice daily.

⚘ on average you both have sex with each other at least 5-6 times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

⚘ he will not fall asleep before you do, he always makes sure you cared for before he even thinks of dozing off.

⚘ once he’s sure you have everything you need and your fast asleep in his arms, only then will he be satisfied enough to fall asleep himself.

⚘ it won’t take him too long to fall asleep after you, holding you tight in his embrace while he tries to think just how on earth he deserves you.

⚘ and honestly? he doesn’t know but he’s sure glad he does.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 5 Thoughts Part 1

It’s been so hard for me to make myself start this season because I know it only goes downhill from here but here I am at last. I don’t remember anything from this season and am prepared to hate the transformations (Harmonix because it’s impractical and Sirenix because it’s ugly) so let’s do this.

- I already hate the hair and I haven’t made it past the intro yet. This is promising.

- This is off to a great start. I got the wrong episode. Not by my mistake, however. Now that I found the actual first one, let’s actually do this.

5x01:

- It’s weird to see magic so publicly on Earth. At least they’re having fun. Though, I have to say that I am not a fan of the idea of them having a band. And they have unfair advantage over every other Earth band because they can do their own advertizing without having to pay a cent and it will still be better than any other band can afford since it’s magic. They should have just dropped the band.

- I am gagging over the fact that they have Roxy praise Bloom for the help but not the other Winx girls. They were all there for her and fought to protect her and tried to teach her magic. And at one point she even said she wanted to be like Stella. But now she says that only Bloom is like a big sister. Obviously a plot device to bring in Daphne since she will be resurrected this season and they have to set it up. Especially after season 4 forgot all about her. I am still gagging, though.

- You know, I could have loved the whole ecological message but I am pretty sure they are going to fuck it up anyway. Or just not take it anywhere.

- Ugh, Helia’s hair is so ugly. But at least Sky’s is as well. But what is that box Sky has? Not another engagement ring, please, for the love of everything sacred!

- Ahh, pendant. Yeah, their relationship is going so well that they will need magic to keep it in tact. Though, good luck for both of them will be to just split up and find someone that is actually good for them. Also, why doesn’t Brandon know about that? He is literally the squire and best friend of the prince.

- Poor Layla. She must be missing Nabu like crazy. Please, let her have a season to mourn and don’t shove a new love interest in her face right away. It took her a season and a half to get the first one and he was killed. She needs some fucking time!

- Love that everyone agrees that Sky’s hair is terrible. Even Bloom’s “It looks... great” sounds like a lie.

- Why is Sky going back to Red Fountain? Didn’t he finish that? God, just let them move on already. Also, he is not A Crown Prince now. He was the Crown Prince ever since he was born. He was crowned as the king of Eraklyon. Man, are they retconning everything?

- If Bloom cared so much about what he had to say, she could have asked Musa to give them a sec. I like the little Flora and Sky interaction, though. If only it could have been on a topic different than Bloom. I wish the Specialists would interact with Winx other than their girlfriends more. It would sell the friend group vibe better.

- Aww, I wish Layla wouldn’t hide her pain over Nabu. She probably doesn’t want to affect the others with it and doesn’t want them fretting over her either but this is just so sad.

- Love how Bloom doesn’t even remember Tressa. For a moment there I thought that it was her getting crowned which would have been cooler but yeah. Also, Nereus and Tritannus are almost identical. What the hell makes Nereus hot and Tritannus not? I am so annoyed I started rhyming.

- I love the idea of underwater tech!

- Lmao, gotta love how the king has already picked a favorite. And it doesn’t seem to be a recent choice either. Idk about Tritannus yet, but I don’t like this guy. I am all for him being attacked. He even reacted like an absolute asshole. He reminds me of Erendor.

- Ah, of course. Trident. We couldn’t possibly have another weapon when it comes to merfolk.

- Tbh Tressa would be the best ruler. She seems to have learned her lesson and become braver. And if she’s protecting her brother and doing all the work anyway, why not just crown her?

- Didn’t Flora tell him to wait until he is alone with Bloom? Why did he think a good moment to give her the pendant would be when Layla is visibly worried about what is going on and everyone is there with them? I wish he’d drop it and it would break.

- How the fuck can Flora tell that there is oil spilling into the ocean? The ocean is Layla’s domain and Flora has never been shown to be able to communicate with marine plant life.

- I hate how they had to show that Timmy is obviously physically weaker than Sky. It would’ve made sense for him to had built some muscle at the very least after 4-5 years in Red Fountain.

- How the hell did Tecna delete the oil? You can’t just erase matter out of existence. There should be a rule against that.

- Yeah, I was just going to say that closing the pipes is not going to work if they don’t stop the flow of oil. The pipes might explode but it will keep spilling. Seriously, this is basic logic. Nice move. Now it will be harder to stop because the spill moved underwater.

- What happened to Layla’s wings? Is the oil sticking to them and hindering their movements? You’d think she could prevent that with magic.

- This is what happens when you carelessly put something so important in your pocket. You don’t even need to be running a rescue mission. There’s a high chance that you’re gonna lose it anyway. Also, love how Bloom just left the other guy to drown and no one else went after him either.

- Layla’s awesome. She even managed to pull that guy out even though she was struggling a lot with it. I hate the fact that they forgot she taught the others a spell to breathe underwater in season 3, though. They could have used it. But of course, that would have probably rendered Harmonix unnecessary.

- Wow, they renovated the whole platform to make it eco? Why don’t they just do that with all of the oil platforms on Earth then? It’s not like it took much effort. I want to add to this that if they’d just done that (which probably would have taken a couple of days), they could have easily defeated Tritannus later because his only source of pollution in the first half of the season has been Earth. Because there is ocean pollution only on Earth, you know. They could have used that to incorporate an ecological message, except that would have taken work on their part. And also, most of the toxic substances Tritannus consumed were spilled on purpose by the Trix. So there goes a great wasted opportunity for a thematic message.

5x02:

- Here are my bad bitches. What the hell are they doing underwater, though? It’s kinda cruel to put them in a prison that forces them to use magic if they want to survive it. What happens if they tire out? They could die,

- Aaaand for some reason Bloom is the vocalist of the band even though Musa is literally the fairy of music and the only one that was initially having a contract signed.

- I hope nobody is expecting any commentary from me on the musical performances because I am telling you from now that I will be skipping absolutely all of them.

- The selkies look ridiculous. I could appreciate the idea of having small beings being powerful guardians but they will certainly not serve any greater purpose than the pixies did so this is going to be annoying at best. Also, the selkie of Earth was still there even when the fairies weren’t, right? This somehow implies that magical beings couldn’t stop the disasters that mankind causes to Earth even though the previous season said that it was the disappearance of fairies that threw the Earth into chaos.

- Aww, look at Stella and Brandon! So good when there’s no stupid drama.

- People really went cleaning the beach not just willingly but enthusiastically? That sounds a little unbelievable. I mean, they were supposed to be at a concert and that was an abrupt change.

- Correction, I wish Sky hadn’t lost the pendant so that he could have given it to her and this would have been over. Now he is going to sulk about it for ages and he is probably going to fuck up in a self-fulfilled prophecy kinda manner and I am so not here for it. Just shut up about Bloom and Sky and focus on the action, please.

- Well, Icy is now canonically a monster fucker. Even though she thought Valtor was ugly as hell in season 3 when he turned into a demon. He was uglier than Tritanus in all fairness but still. This seems inconsistent. And I hate her voice. Not to mention that she is already acting OOC when she’s not thinking about getting out even but about fucking him. Come on!

- Is the whole turning into a monster thing some sort of reverse Beauty and the Beast? That could have been interesting... but, of course, this is Winx.

- Yep, the selkies are absolutely useless.

- If the Trix don’t have powers, then how are they breathing underwater? Also, how does toxic waste restore ice and storm powers (there is some connection to darkness at least)? And if they went that route, they could have made their powers have an element of toxicity to them to make it more interesting instead of just having a guy boost their powers yet again. Honestly, the only good thing that came out of this is that Darcy and Stormy seem to be thinking more independently now which would be necessary in order for the DramaTM between the Trix later (that is just about the only thing I remember from this season).

- I wish Darcy would have used her hypnotic powers more in the previous seasons. They are so cool and would be pretty hard to deal with once you’re hit. It could have made for more interesting fights.

- If Tritannus was good, he could actually help cleanse the oceans by sucking out all toxic waste. He likes being a monster anyway.

- Okay, but the Trix know Bloom is from Earth. They should have known it was Winx from the second they felt the fairy magic in the air. That took them long enough btw.

- Of course, the monsters can also go on land even though they are mer-creatures. Makes perfect sense.

- Love how Musa and Flora are using new spells yet they look and act exactly the same way like the old ones so it is just same shit, different story. The writers are so unoriginal.

- Layla is strong! And Winx seem to be a little too strong against the Trix. Although, Believix is supposed to be really powerful anyway.

- This could have been the perfect setup for an Icy x Bloom romance. Sky lost the pendant so his relationship with Bloom is doomed and he later lost his memory so why not just break them up. Diaspro can have him if she still wants him (I don’t know why she would but anyway) and Bloom can get with Icy after Icy realizes Tritannus is not the right one for her. Everyone wins, especially, us, the audience. And it could have been a good way to show that Diaspro has reformed and she and Sky could actually be an okay couple. Or better yet, she dumps him and gets together with Bloom and Icy.

- Layla just kicked Tritanus in the face. Boy, I stan! And the underwater battle with weapons instead of magic is super cool, I love it! Wish there’d been more of that but, of course, only Layla can pull that off and we can’t spend more than a minute focusing on anyone else other than Bloom. Why didn’t Tritannus recognize Layla, though? Or did he just not care?

- Icy crying out for help? By a man? So not here for this. It is ridiculously out of character. How is he so powerful? Once again the villain is so strong it is a wonder they ever got to live long enough to get to the finale let alone defeat him.

5x03:

- Well, Winx sure are at the top of the popularity wave again despite the last time we saw them at Alfea being very different. Also, why is it the beginning of another school year yet again? Honestly, I am so sick of all of this.

- Sky is seriously annoying me with that stupid pendant and he is also the one that is fucking up their relationship with his stupid behavior. He should just focus on being a good boyfriend and do the best he can. I get it that in a world of magic superstitions probably have more merit, but he still has control over his own life and the choices he makes. He can “save” their relationship despite the omen of doom.

- Ugh, don’t tell me there will be Helia and Flora drama in this season to compensate for the lack of such in the last? Why did he only introduce Flora as his friend and not as his girlfriend? And how is he so close with the princess of Linphea? Is he from Linphea as well?

- I agree with Stella. Just when we all thought they were done, they started making even more transformations.

- I don’t think we’ve seen Daphne be anything but calm but it’s understandable when she is talking about the thing that made her a disembodied spirit. Still it feels weird to see her not believe that Bloom can handle whatever comes her way. Especially after the defeat of the Ancestral Witches. I guess that is what bugs me in this scene.

- Wow, Darcy admitted that Winx are stronger than them and neither Icy, nor Stormy protested? It’s good that they’re self-aware. It just seems a little OOC. And another power up in two consecutive episodes? Seriously? Will they ever get anything done on their own again?

- At least Sky is asking for advice. I am surprised that they are letting him interact with Flora yet again but I actually kinda like it.

- Why are they all gasping in surprise. They have been to the archive already when Bloom stole the Codex in season 2. It is the same room; they have seen it. Get over it already.

(- *sigh* I just lost my thoughts on half the episode. This season is not agreeing with me.)

- Flora was acting weird while Crystal was helping Helia. It was kind of like she was mad it was Crystal who could save him and not her and that is weird for Flora. I think she would have just been grateful he was saved.

- I suffer when the books suffer... and they did suffer a lot in this episode. Also, how come Stormy is creating life again? This still doesn’t make sense to me but compared to other things, it is more minor.

- I love Darcy’s hypnotic powers and the fact that she was using them on Stella. I think I might be starting to seriously consider this ship (as opposed to just entertaining the possibility of a cool dynamic between them). I mean, Stella looked like she’s seen the hottest new fashion collection and I know it was the magic but still. I kinda want a Darcy who is on her own (without her sisters) and manipulating/spelling Stella into being with her so that she could make place for herself in the Solarian court. And then she falls in love, of course.

- Just please tell me Sky won’t be without his memories for the rest of the season because that will just be too annoying. If they are going for drama, it would be good to at least make it relevant instead of shoving it in there by the ton for the sake of it.

5x04:

- Since when is the whole school so invested in Bloom? They weren’t when she was actually there and even though Winx are kind of legends now, you can bet your ass that there were still fairies that don’t like them. Not to mention that they shouldn’t all know what the hell happened when no one was there to witness it. Why would they let the whole school know if Erendor doesn’t even know yet?

- You are seriously telling me that Stella hadn’t considered being a fashion designer before? Really????? She literally spent her summer after season 1 as an intern for a fashion magazine and has been designing clothes since about the same time. This is just too dumb for words.

- Love how adorably awkward Timmy is. And I love that Tecna doesn’t mind at all. They are just too cute together!

- Ooh, tension between the Trix. That is interesting. Or at least would have been if it were focused more on the power balance in their own dynamic rather than on hate vs love for Tritannus. Why does everything have to be about guys?

- At least Flora seems to like Crystal now which is cool. But I cannot express how annoyed I am by the fact that the whole thing with the pendant is preventing him from getting his memories back. And the stupid thing is that this actually has potential. Losing the pendant could be the peak of Sky’s guilt towards Bloom for all the pain he’s caused her (about Diaspro and not only) and that could be very interesting to explore but this show will never go that deep. It’ll just remain as wasted potential. Just like everything else is.

- Okay, why does no one ever start with amnesia patients by asking them how they would like to go about things, how they feel? Stuff like that.

- Tecna really turned into a robot. Again, no fucking magical system to explain how you can turn a human into a robot. Plus, this could be interesting as well and also really deep but, again, this is Winx. It is not going to be deep. Even though they could have done so much with that premise and given Tecna a really cool arc.

- Ah, yes, I forgot to mention this while I was on the previous episode. I am done with Neptune being so dismissive and even aggressive against his other son. Like, maybe if you had tried some parenting, none of this would have come to pass. Just a thought. I am not saying that parents can prevent any bad choices their kids make but I am saying that he doesn’t look like he tried too hard to be a good dad. Nereus only turned out okay because they are twins and one of them has to be good while the other is evil. I am glad at least someone is trying to reach Tritannus even if he is beyond saving.

- Oh, off, Tritanus is not messing around. You know what? I actually like that. It was about time they made the villains as ruthless as they are trying to make them out to be. Even if I feel bad for his family because they just wanted to help him.

- Why do the selkies talk in the third person? They just went from useless to majorly annoying.

- Why don’t they just go get Faragonda? She may at least know what they are dealing with and possibly clue them in on how to unspell Tecna. They don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just find someone who knows how it was made.

- Great, they just set fire to the archive and nobody bothered to put it out. And they also released the elements in there. The question remains - will the archive survive their search for the Sirenix book? (What the hell were those other books, though? I would like to know where they came from.)

- Okay, but wasn’t the book Tecna opened cursed? What happened to that? And why did the spell on her phone only activate after she opened the book? This doesn’t make sense.

5x05:

- I am very confused about the order of episodes. “The Lilo” should be before “The Power of Harmonix” because they are still using their Believix powers but it makes more sense for the Harmonix episode to be after “The Book of Sirenix”. Anyway, I am watching “The Lilo” because Wikipedia says it’s the fifth episode even though it looks more like filler that wasn’t even meant to be in the season.

- At least we get to see Flora do something this time. She is the most neglected and it’s good to see her use magic for something else other than growing ivy. Seriously, Flo, chill with the ivy.

- “When I think of you, Helia, I believe in myself.” Because she can’t believe in herself if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. The intro is so totally right! What a way to show girl power!

- Why is the animation overly flowy? Is it because it is closer to 3D in order to tie better with the actual 3D later on? It kinda pokes out your eyes sometimes. Or at least mine.

- Someone remembered that the Whisperian Crystals were a thing. I love how they just made them sort of like GPS for magical objects even though they were only supposed to track the Dragon Fire. Proof of that is the fact that they never used them to track the Ring of Solaria even though they wanted it as well. So this is just a cop out to give them a chance to find the Lilo.

- Of course, the Lilo is in the possession of Mitzi’s little sister. Why wouldn’t it be?

- Gotta love how even the writers realized that it was too convenient for everything to be in Gardenia so they started making up excuses for it.

- Wait, how does Mitzi know who the Trix are? Have they... They haven’t met, right? What the hell? Also, Icy was literally standing in front of Macy but she couldn’t just grab the plant herself and had to order Darcy and Stormy to do it? Lazy much?

- Darcy’s powers are going back to their peak this season and I am so here for it.

- Flora legit just hit Icy with her shield. That was a good move and a little more aggressive than I would have expected from Flora but I’m not complaining.

- Great way to almost hit Macy, Stella.

- There was zero point to this episode. I guess they just had to do something to get them to a total of 26 episodes. And putting it right before the episode in which they get Harmonix is just ridiculous because they just powered up their Believix... right before they’ll stop using it.

5x06:

- They can’t even open the Book of Sirenix? Huh, that’s... kinda interesting actually.

- Oh, come on! Just when Bloom was making progress, Crystal brings in Diaspro. You have to love how the writers are implying that Crystal is no good by having her being friends with Diaspro. I thought we were over the Crystal drama but it looks like there will be more. And why is Bloom not losing her mind? Diaspro literally mind controlled Sky! Goddammit, it’s in situations like this I wish I could trust Erendor to do the best for his son! If Bloom could trust he wouldn’t side with Diaspro, she could have called him to let him make sure Diaspro stays away from Sky.

- Oh, they can lose their powers if they fail the quest? I like that! Extra stakes besides the Tritannus situation. This feels more intense now and I am here for it.

- I like the implication that there are other great fairies in the Magic Dimension and it’s not just Winx. Less so fond of the fact that the other fairies seem to be underhanded but I’ll take what I can get.

- Awwwww! That scene with Stella, Tecna and Musa was so precious! I love Stella’s joking and the fact that Tecna is so upset about what happened but she still believes their reassurances! And Musa saying she might start talking about her mother... *sob* This is so precious! They are opening up to each other even more than they have already! And about the tough topics. Ah, my heart!

- Okay, I kinda like the solidarity between Bloom and Layla. Also, the fact that Flora finally figured out what they are doing. Though, that’s kinda weird to me. Flora has been more wary of the reckless plans but I don’t think she would put her powers above her friends and possibly Layla’s whole realm if not the whole universe.

- Really wish it would have been someone else that had saved the horse and not Bloom.

- “Shadow hand”? Man, I was right. Darcy’s powers are peaking! Also, whatever spell Icy used on Winx to make it harder for them to move was super cool as well. I like it.

- They have to complete the Quest in one lunar cycle? That’s 28 days... On Earth. Maybe they should have specified which moon. Since Solaria has 2 suns there are probably millions of moons out there. Okay, that isn’t working out and I wish they had been more specific with it. This episode had some cool stuff about the Magic Dimension already and they could have done more. Anyway, one lunar cycle sounds like a short time but since it’s Winx, it is probably a long time.

- Oh, they just all got Harmonix without doing anything in order to earn it. Greaaaaat. And I have to say that the Harmonix design is so impractical. Why so many veils? They’re just gonna boggle them down. Of course, nothing ever gets wet on shows but seriously? If you’re fighting with someone, they can grab you by the veils or the veils can tangle around you and become the reason for your demise. This is stupid.

- Okay, so Tecna was being really insecure but they left her behind in the search of the Gem of Self-confidence? Like, you just threw away a golden opportunity. I am into the idea that they are going in the Magical Reality Chamber to still be at the place of the action so to speak and be able to help the rest better, though.

- Love the idea of the boat that can go to any water body. I would like one. Less so enthused about the contradiction in this very episode. Stella was complaining about wearing heels when she could have just changed with magic. The proof is right there since she changed hers, Bloom’s and Layla’s whole outfits just about 10 minutes later. This is ridiculous.

- Not @ the way the writers already threw Roy in despite the fact that it has been just five episodes since the beginning of the season. Also not @ the way he seems to be the stereotypical “girls need my protection” guy. Wish Layla would just keep not liking him. But they are probably trying to emulate what happened with Nabu at first. Ugh, I hate this so much I can’t even tell you.

- Oh, come on! They’ll be bonding with the selkies now? Let me guess, that was only written so that the selkies can get their powers back through the bonds, So Tritannus will enter the Infinite Ocean with the stolen selkie powers and Winx will enter it with help from their bonded selkies. This is so transparent, I can’t even. Also, totally needed their selkies to be matching the color of their Harmonix. I mean, how else are you gonna tell that they’re their bonded selkies? Not like they have personalities or are relevant in any way. Also, can another fairy bond with a selkie that has been “taken”? Like, there is a pixie for every fairy but the selkies are much less so... what the hell? This doesn’t make any sense.

- I hate what they did with the challenge for self-confidence. They could have done so much better. But first, Bloom’s test is all about Sky (which is dumb as fuck because it literally tells you their relationship is the biggest source of insecurity in her life) and Stella’s is about her not having confidence in her fashion taste? Really? Layla’s was most cutting as always but they didn’t even try to make it hard. It was so obvious that Nabu was an illusion because he was being cruel to her and the real Nabu would never. They should have gone for something else that would have really made her struggle with figuring out it is not real. Plus, by figuring out it is not real, she didn’t exactly confront her issue with confidence. And Bloom and Stella couldn’t even break out of it on their own and needed her help. How is that successfully passing the test?!?!?!?! And I was just starting to think that this could be getting better. It was I who should have known better.

5x07:

- Aww, I love how dedicated Stella is to knowing stuff about Solaria. She is going to be a precious queen. Also, her guardian of Sirenix is so beautiful.

- Ugh, the Trix are pulled apart again. I hate it. Darcy and Stormy do have a point. I just wish Icy would keep her head in the game. Also, do they sleep out in the open? In a swamp or whatever the hell that is?

- Wow, Sky that has no memory treats Bloom better than Sky that has memory of her. Interesting. Like, if he can calm her worries about Diaspro so easily when he doesn’t even remember how much he loves her, why didn’t he do that in the previous seasons? Honestly.

- Roy is annoying me just by cheering for Winx. This is not going well.

- Oh, damn, Flora got turned into stone. What did Tritannus do to that jellyfish? Turn it into Medusa (lmao, fun fact - jellyfish is called medusa [more like meduza but still] in Bulgarian)? Seriously. And why is Flora the one saving the selkies when she is the only one that isn’t bonded to any?

- Since the Trix also didn’t put any work into earning their powers, it is only fair that Winx get a free upgrade as well. I am just glad that at least the Harmonix spells look differently even though they function in the same generic way.

- Hey, Sky is actually starting to remember? Good. I was prepared to suffer through this amnesia arc up until 5x13 at least but now I have timid hope that it will not last that long. I guess the writers haven’t heard of muscle memory, however.

- How did the Gem of Confidence turn Flora back into herself when the jellyfish that turned her into stone had nothing to do with it? It was Tritannus’ doing and not even intentional. It shouldn’t have had petrifying powers in the first place. None of this makes any sense. Not to mention that the Gem somehow multiplied to six gems. I mean, really? Would’ve been much better if they could only choose to complete one box aka everyone else would lose their powers but then through their shared goal (aka Faragonda telling them that they have to be of one mind and heart) they could have all gotten the Sirenix. Just no other powers. That would have been way more interesting (obviously Layla would be the one whose box they’d complete and I don’t believe the Dragon Fire can be extinguished anyway so Bloom could even have a loophole out of that). And besides, they don’t use the old transformations anyway.

5x08:

- Stella is rocking that outfit. But why streaks? Stella, no!

- Tecna and Timmy are absolutely adorable with their mega nerdiness. I love it.

- Jeez, really? Sky is a better dancer with amnesia than Brandon is? I mean, this could have been plausible if they hadn’t established already in the previous episode that his muscle memory has fucked off into oblivion as well. Otherwise, yes. As royalty, he is probably better at dancing. Even though battle requires a lot of coordination as well. But nice of Kiko to try to help.

- Come on, Stella, you’re being insensitive. You would be “moping” too if Brandon had died. Please, don’t try to set Layla up with guys. Just give her some time to grieve!

- I don’t know what Stella expected. Of course, Layla is going to get offended by that. She doesn’t want company, she wants Nabu back.

- Oh, come on! Musa really got mad at Riven just because he liked the music another girl was playing? What, is he supposed to only listen to her music now? She isn’t even the vocalist of their band.

- They only have 10 days left to complete the missions? When did they manage to waste so much time? Like, they legit got the first thing done in one day. Where did the other go?

- Tressa has had so much growth since season 3. I love her. Really wish they’d let her be queen. But wtf, why can the king know what all of his subjects are doing? That is so invasive. Also, Layla should not be in the range of his powers. Man, the writers are really pulling some bullshit here.

- You’d think the selkies will learn that they can’t stop Tritanus and will try to not get in his way so that he wouldn’t get to steal their powers. But nope, they are both useless and stupid.

- Okay, Stella did mess up and she should have known why what she did was a bad idea but Layla giving her the silent treatment is not going to help either. I hope that the fact that Musa is dealing with the loss of her mother can help the two of them patch things up as well. Maybe there will be a lesson in this for both of them.

- Now it makes sense why Musa turned into an ocean type of monster. And this is a good opportunity for Stella and Layla to find their balance again and help save Musa.

- Stella’s attacks are still hurting Musa. And wouldn’t it make more sense for Layla to use her powers to stop her? She could make a net with morphix that will be both more reliable and less harmful for Musa. Seriously, why do they always make the dumbest choices possible?

- You know what would have been more interesting? If the healing of the bond could only work one way and the selkie didn’t get her powers back. They could have brought in Galatea to also bond with her in order to restore her powers later on so that they could enter the Infinite Ocean. That would have been more creative. But nah.

- Stella’s sudden understanding of Layla really came out of nowhere. And it felt like Layla only forgave her because she didn’t want to fight with her anymore, not because she was truly okay with what Stella did. This could have been done so much better.

- These Sirenix quests are so convenient. They all have to do with places the girls know and clues they have history with. It would have been much harder if they had to go to planets they don’t know how to navigate and a better way to do more worldbuilding.

- Bloom really can’t take 10 days away from the Sky mess? They can literally lose their powers forever which could mean handing Tritannus victory but she is more concerned with Sky’s memory that can possibly only get better in the next ten days while she focuses on the mission? Oh, come on!

- They are really trying to push hard the idea that Bloom and Sky are destined to be together. Also, now that they found the shell, can Sky’s memory block disappear? It would make sense. Please, just end this already.

5x09:

- Really? Bloom is sensing that something is wrong with Daphne but Marion isn’t? This could have been a cool moment to bring in the fact that their parents are back. Especially since Bloom isn’t going to do shit about it. I mean, how dense is she that she didn’t recognize the clouds of pollution hanging around Daphne in her dream? Could have at least tried to contact Daphne to make sure she was okay. Especially since she knows that Daphne talks to her through her dreams and that has been A Thing since season 1. I just... cannot.

- I... don’t even know what to say about Stella here. On the one hand I understand her frustration as she feels like no one supports her passion for fashion but on the other hand... Stella, no! Brandon was right that she needs to consider other people’s feelings sometimes, though, I’d say none of Winx exhibited particularly high levels of empathy here except maybe Flora.

- Oh, Tecna. On the one hand I want to say that there shouldn’t be a reason to feel nervous face to face with Timmy when they get along so well, but on the other, we have all experienced what she’s talking about. Texting can be so much easier sometimes even if it can also be dangerous because it lacks the context of body language.

- Seriously? We’re gonna make it through all the girls’ planets. I said it before and I’ll say it again, but this Sirenix Quest sure is damn convenient. At least it is kinda ironic that the Gem of Empathy is on Zenith since they seem to rely on technology more.... Man, that could have been an awesome opportunity to make Zenith more three dimensional by explaining that they develop so much technology so that they could make the lives of everyone easier when they have digital assist aka their focus on technology is driven by empathy. But again, that is just too deep for this show.

- Oh, come on! Stella really turned into a three-year-old? Why the hell would there be an age-changer spell in the pin? This doesn’t make sense. And again, a fucking wasted opportunity. Stella was running low on empathy here so including her in the search for the Gem of Empathy would have provided way more character development than this shit right here. I would have sent Stella, Tecna and Musa to get the Gem and Bloom, Flora and Layla to go look for Daphne. Or better yet, Stella and Tecna for the Gem, Musa and Layla after Tritannus and Bloom and Flora to check on Daphne.

- Is Layla ever going to use her Harmonix powers? Seriously, she has transformed how many times now and I can’t remember her using any of her new magic.

- Why is Layla now smiling at Roy even though she never transitioned from “annoyed” to “friendly teasing”? I hate this so much.

- It must be weird for Brandon to see his girlfriend as a three-year-old while he is still twenty. Like, that will make for a fun conversation once the spell wears off.

- It is so goddamn obvious that Tritannus has been there! Like, did the clouds of pollution not tip you off?????? Honestly, why don’t any of them have normal rationalizing abilities? It is a simple deduction! You don’t need the selkies to tell you! Besides, didn’t they already say that he crossed over to Zenith? This is like looking between a needle and a single straw of hay and having to point out which is the needle and they are failing!

- Shoot, I thought “where the one looks over the many” was supposed to be something of a mathematical riddle or something that would have to make Tecna focus on the whole rather than the details. The throne thing? Just... meh.

- I would have preferred it if their test of empathy involved something that was already inside them and came from themselves rather than them being placed under a spell by the Gem. It could have brought out their most unempathetic thoughts but I still think there was a better way to do this, and a more emotional one.

- Seriously?????? I mean, FOR REAL?!?!?!?!?! THAT is what they had to do to get the gem???????????????????????????????????????????????????? They didn’t even resolve their issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did they prove they were worthy of having it. God, I hate this.

- How did the age-changer spell had any bearing on the plot or the characters? It literally didn’t do anything for Stella or Flora, Musa and Brandon for that matter. They had so many amazing opportunities in this episode and they were all wasted. I just... *frustrated sigh*

5x10:

- Is it just me or is the idea to put the Christmas filler episode right a couple of days before the deadline for the Sirenix Quest the worst idea ever? Well, not the worst because this show is just full of bad ideas but still somewhere up there with the big guys.

- I was gonna get incredibly angry if they’d made Christmas be a thing in the Magic Dimension but they got at least that right. And that way it’s cute that Bloom gets to introduce her friends to a new holiday. They all got so excited about the presents! Adorable! The only thing that would have made this better was if she’d invited Marion and Oritel to Mike and Vanessa’s as well to celebrate together.

- I was ready to hate this episode but it has actually caught my attention. Love how the Trix decided the magic of Christmas is literal magic and they want to steal it from Bloom. This is actually exactly what a funny filler episode should be like.

- Aww, a surprise Musa and Riven moment. That was adorable.

- Am I the only one who is getting Yu Gi Oh vibes from this monster? Okay, four monsters (Why four? That is so random. Three would have made more sense.). They just remind me too much of Blue Eyes White Dragon.

- You know what would be really cool? If Stella made a cage with mirrors at key places to reflect the light beam she shoots at the creatures so that it would keep running through the cage to stop them from reforming.

- Oh, wow. Faragonda showed up. I never thought that would happen. Not that she’s been much use. Like, you fought the Ancestral Witches! Surely, there has to be something you can do! Not to mention that how the hell did the Trix get magic of the darkest order? That’s just bullshit.

- You know what? I would be more worried about the fact that they may not be able to break the spell before they run out of water and food and other essentials. Like, the Christmas thing is upsetting but not a priority right now,

- Okay, the Trix are inside the ice dome but the ice dragons aren’t? That seems like a hole in their plan.

- The others got the spirit but they a little confused. Bloom doesn’t just miss Christmas but spending it with her family and they can’t give her that. Though, none of them didn’t even try to teleport. Depending on the way you do it, maybe they could have gotten out.

- This episode is kinda all over the place but at least it has that cool vibe from season 1 when they got to actually just chill around the school and do some fun stuff. Actually put time in just being friends. Oh, and the friendship charm bracelets are really cute! I love them.

- You know they don’t have what to put in an episode when they give the full transformations twice. Nice job, there.

- Making a hole in the dome does not sound like the best course of action because Winx could have just gotten out of there and forced the Trix to chase them. But no one thought of that.

- I feel second hand embarrassment on Icy’s behalf. If she ever gets to learn that she misunderstood about the magic of Christmas, that is. The way things are going, Bloom is gonna blast them out of the dimension without ever revealing that this was all for nothing.

- Well, Bloom could have just used her Dragon Fire to destroy the ice dragons the moment they appeared and none of that would have happened but why the hell would she do that? I have to say that I would have preferred it if Winx and the Specialists had gone to Gardenia instead of having Gardenia go to Alfea. Like, I get it that they wanted to make Christmas touch the Magic Dimension as well but Alfea has never celebrated a Zenithian-specific holiday for example or a Solarian one. It just makes the whole Winx universe a little too focused on Bloom again.

5x11:

- Omg, I am feeling so bad for Daphne. Hasn’t she suffered enough? Though, I have to say that I am at least glad Icy came up with a decent plan for counteraction this time even if it is cruel. At least it makes sense!

- Why the hell is the wind-rider competition held in Alfea? It should have been in Red Fountain but I guess the animators couldn’t be bothered to pull out their old animation of it and remember how to draw it.

- Bloom giving Sky a pep talk was kinda cute. I get why he would be nervous and it was cool that she did her best to help him. And that moment with throwing some harmless magic his way to show him his own reflexes was actually smart and hella cute as well. I just wish they wouldn’t have gone for the “he is the best Specialist ever to live” thing again but I’ll take it as his friends telling a white lie to soothe his anxiety.

- So the Trix are just being bullies for no reason at all. Also, they already used that invisibility spell when they messed with Tecna’s phone. Or at least it looked the same.

- Poor Kiko. Getting accused for something he didn’t do and then also being attacked by clones. But was it that only he could see them? Because otherwise, it should have tipped Bloom off that something’s wrong.

- They don’t need to remind us every time that there is no time to waste for the Sirenix Quest. We get it. And even if I had the episodes spaced out by weeks, I doubt I would forget that they have a time limit considering that this is not plot heavy and they have mentioned it, like, a million times already.

- Oh, they’re going to Linphea next. Look, even Tecna noticed that all the parts of the Quest have been on their home planets.

- Wow, Flora, you think the flower might be on your planet? Damn, girl, you’re such a genius. No one would have ever guessed. They have an ocean of flowers and she is still not sure? W.O.W.

- Love how it took Faragonda and Saladin a solid minute to interfere. Not like they were in a war or anything and should be 100% prepped to deal with crises. Why would you think that? And Griselda (and the other Alfea teachers) didn’t even get to do anything. Not to mention that Mirta has been studying at Alfea for a forth year now and she didn’t even try to fire at the beasts... You know, what could be considered an instinctive reaction.

- “Only one more keeper...”? Yeah, because there are only six-seven planets in the whole universe! (Didn’t he already get the powers of the selkie of Earth as well as from everyone’s home planets except for Bloom’s? Who’s gonna restore the Earth selkie’s powers... Wait, is it going to be Roxy? And does that mean we’re finally going to Domino this season?)

- I was gonna ask whatever Roy was gonna do without Layla being there but he isn’t there either. So why was he there the other times if not to drive the boat? They gave him one job to justify his presence and then they took that away as well.

- Funny how it is always the selkies of the girls that have gone on the Quest that appear and not any of the others. One of them (I am not even gonna bother to learn their names) said she could sense the presence of her fairy but still. Though, with their powers restored, I guess they could do that.

- Do I remember wrong or are Flora and her selkie the only ones that actually hugged? Cause that was kinda cute.

- Okay, Sky’s plan was good but did Bloom really need him to pull her out of the way? I am pretty sure she could have done that on her own since it was obvious what the plan was.

- If I were Stella, I’d be worried that a plant might eat me too. Having courage doesn’t mean that you can’t be afraid. It means that you find it in yourself to go on despite the fear. So I’d say Stella is courageous enough.

- Okay, but this plant looks like it was touched by Tritannus’ pollution and so did all the rest of the places from the Quest (except for Melody). So that means that what is happening wouldn’t have happened if not for him aka they aren’t actually completing the Quest because they are fighting Tritannus’ influence on the environment, not performing the tasks from the Quest.

- Good! Tecna and Layla are actually being strategical about this even though all Bloom wants is to hang out with the boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t just get targeted. But why the hell would she care about her safety - or Sky’s for that matter - when they can go on a romantic walk instead?

- Really? They need a translator? Flora has communicated with plants numerous times before. She should be able to understand what the Flower of the Depths is saying to them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear god, the writers are really trying to be as stupid as possible.

- Why didn’t Bloom try to transform before jumping against the Trix? Or at least shoot some magic at them? Once again, how are they still alive?

- Darcy’s powers are awesome and she’s using them well. I love how she pushed Musa in her own trap. But damn, it was harsh of Musa to try to cause the rocks to crush Darcy. I thought the Trix were supposed to be the cruel ones.

- Wow, I thought Icy would have at least a couple broken bones after Layla smashed her in the rock like that but nope. She’s fine.

- Okay, I actually think that Sky and Bloom are cute in this episode, what the hell? I like the fact that they decided to stop trying to get the past back to him. That may even actually help him remember when he’s not stressing and straining to do it. I thought that Bloom meant one of the memories she wants to keep was that of the shell they found, though. Wasn’t that soulmate special or something?

5x12:

- Icy is really not paying attention, huh? I mean, Tritannus saying that he would give her one more chance somehow didn’t sound too reassuring to me. He gave the Trix their powers so he could probably take them away any time he wants and then destroy them. Which sounded exactly like what he was planning to do before Icy convinced him to give her one more chance.

- Well, they noticed the pattern of the Quest running through all their home planets. They could have tried looking for the yellow reef on Domino before asking the guardian of the Sirenix box. Just to do something on their own, you know.

- Who let Bloom go in that dress? Didn’t Tecna say Stella was there as well? How could she let Bloom even put that thing on, let alone wear it to the Domino renewal celebration. Also, why the hell is that happening only now? It has been a season and a half since Domino was restored. I thought this would be the discussion of Tritannus.

- Love how they didn’t even redo the footage from SotLK and just slapped the different art style right in the middle of the one from season 5. Lazy as lazy gets.

- Um, wasn’t the plan to capture Bloom? And if they changed it to getting Marion and Oritel, why didn’t they try to do that when Bloom wasn’t there? They couldn’t get her but they will somehow get her parents who literally defeated the Ancestral Witches while Bloom and two or three of her friends plus Sky are also there? How does that make sense?

- Oh, come on! The dresses looked much better without the flowers. Also, you’re telling me that Stella made them fit the same theme as Bloom’s but she didn’t have anything to do with Bloom’s dress? This is just... ridiculous. Also, how do flowers relate to Domino? Sparks or even gems would have made better sense. A fire pattern even.

- Marion and Oritel are giving very different vibes from the ones in Magical Adventure and even SotLK (even though they had like five lines each in that one).

- Did Bloom suddenly forget that Sky does not remember how he saved the Sword? And she left him alone even though he doesn’t have his memories? Also, why do none of their parents know about that? And up until this point, there were always three of them going on the Quest. But now that Bloom is actually needed somewhere else she is going even though she could have left it to Stella, Layla and Flora? Come on!

- Didn’t the pendant sink in the ocean on Earth? Where are the selkies now? And how come Flora’s selkie decided that she will know who the pendant belongs to? You know, out of the infinite number of people in the whole universe. The fact that she just so happens to actually know is yet another too convenient convenience but still.

- The mimicry fish are adorable and I love them.

- Wait, can any selkie open any portal? I thought they could only open the portals that they were guarding. But then Winx shouldn’t have been able to pass from Domino back to wherever Tritannus attacked - Andros maybe?

- Love how Marion instantly jumped away when the Trix attacked despite how much her outfit must weigh. And you’re telling me that Oritel is the fighter between the two of them? Yeah, right. Just please, let her use her magic to stop the Trix. We know she has it! Don’t make her look helpless because she is far from it.

- Well, of course, even the oceans of Domino are the best and have the rarest fish even though it is the planet of the Dragon Fire and Andros is the center of all oceans. Makes perfect sense.

- Okay, Marion and Oritel are definitely giving waaaay different vibes from the ones in the movies but I have to say that I kinda like how fierce they are. Not @ Oritel’s “Still have it in you?” because duh, she obviously does and even more so than you do, Oritel, but other than that I love how smoothly they just switch from celebration to a fight that is potentially for their lives. Also, I like that Sky gets to fight with them... Or at least he was supposed to.

- Yes, the one time Bloom is there, the others are completely useless. Also, that thing is not a coral. Wasn’t the Gem supposed to be in the jaws of the coral, not whatever the hell this fish is. And how is it in its mouth? How does it not ingest it when it eats? This doesn’t make sense.

- Love whatever Marion did there with shooting magic out of her sword. However, I don’t like the fact that the writers have forgotten she has magic and is not defenseless without a sword. And how did that trick even work? She could have just turned around and seen that it wasn’t the real Oritel. Not to mention that if Oritel knows the Trix are descendants of the Ancestral Witches, Marion does too aka she should have known that one of them has illusion powers. Given the fact that they fought a whole war against Lysslis, I am pretty sure she has faced similar tricks before and should have known better.

- Please, tell me the creature was supposed to vanish and it wasn’t Bloom that vaporized it from inside. Also, I so totally knew the last gem would be green. It made perfect sense.

- At least they remembered that Oritel’s sword is supposed to be special because it has Dragon Fire in it.

- Bloom and Sky saving her parents “together” makes no sense because Sky doesn’t have magic. So it wasn’t him that helped her save them but the sword.

- Their declarations of love were kinda undermined by him remembering and in such stupid way. Like, all the progress he made in restoring their relationship and even remembering a little wouldn’t have mattered if he hadn’t gotten the pendant back. Aka his blockage wasn’t actually going away. It was still there which means that his emotions were not getting worked out.

- I know Marion and Oritel will not go help save Daphne even though that would be the only logical thing and I am so fucking mad about it, you don’t even know.

5x13:

- Oh, god! They changed even the intro and the 3D animation is as ugly as I remember it to be. Love how they also spoil the fact that the girls will get Sirenix in this episode. Not that the title of the episode doesn’t.

- I have beef with this recap. That fish that had the Gem of Courage was so totally not a shark. It just wasn’t. I’m no shark expert but that was definitely not a shark. It looks like some fish you can find in the depths (I don’t remember their name) but it sure as hell ain’t a fucking shark.

- What training? They need to go get Daphne! Also, they handled Believix just fine. If Alfea had given them proper education, they should be able to control any transformation. Like, those should operate according to some goddamn logic.

- If Daphne hadn’t already told him, then why did she do it now? Man, he should have just made her talk before he told the Trix to leave Domino. Now that they were no longer there, Daphne didn’t have any reason to talk. She must have known that Bloom would find their parents so Tritannus lost his leverage. This is so nonsensical.

- What the hell does it mean that they have to look inside themselves? How is that gonna lead them to lake Roccaluche? The only one connected to it is Bloom because Daphne is her sister. This is ridiculous.

- How big is that lake and why does it look exactly the same way that the sea does? There is a difference between sweet water bodies and salt water bodies and the life inside them, you know, writers.

- Why would there be a protection system to guard the source of a whole ass goddamn transformation? It makes much more sense that anyone could just walk in and destroy it in 0.3 seconds.

- They just had to say that they will keep exhibiting the three virtues the Gems represented in order to get the location of the source of Sirenix? Man, really? Ugh, that is just so... ridiculously frustrating.

- For people who can lose their magic the same day, they sure don’t seem to be worried. Lounging and all.

- They know Tritannus was there. Obviously that is the explanation as to why the selkies did not find them.

- Yes, they totally look like they’ve “got this”.

- I actually liked the fact that Bloom had to give up finding out where Daphne is in order to save the lake. Seeing all the panicked animals rush around really drives home what is going on because they will all die if the lake dries completely.

- Oh, I am totally going to cry over Daphne’s anguish here. This looks so brutal. But here’s a thought for you. The whole power of Sirenix was put under a curse, right? Then why didn’t the Trix get affected by it? And if the Sirenix power is removed from Daphne, shouldn’t the curse disappear as well?

- Love how they forgot about the part where Sirenix was cursed even before Tritannus messed with the source.

- I hate the Sirenix transformation. It is the ugliest one to me and why did they have to go and give them streaks? The 3D look was bad enough already. Only the Trix’ Sirenix design is worse than this. (No, actually whatever the hell is happening to the Trix in the end of season 7 is the worst design idea they have ever had but I haven’t watched that.)

- So they didn’t need the selkies to enter the Infinite Ocean? Then how come that is what Tritannus needed? What the hell is wrong with the logistics of this whole thing?

- Where did all these minions come from? Did whatever he did to the... stone? thingy poison the nearby water and turn all creatures into his minions? Didn’t that work only on merfolk? If so, the Infinite Ocean seems overpopulated.

- They totally could have had Marion and Oritel in this but once Tritannus took Daphne into the Infinite Ocean, they would have needed to let Winx handle the rescue mission because the two of them wouldn’t be able to enter the Infinite Ocean. And boom, problem solved. They don’t have to drag Oritel and Marion through every episode while they still could have shown that they cared. Idk what was so complicated about that.

Part 2 can be found here.

[shesawriter39049]

|GOD SAVE THE QUEEN|M|JH|

(Does he not look like he should be scaleing a damn window?!)

SMUT/ ANGST

Pairing: Hitman Hoseok & Mob Boss OC

Genre: Mob/Mafia/Organized Crime/Drug cartels/Established/unofficial but lowkey official couple...

WC-10K (A good 3-4 of it is smut btw) 

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 “I’m going to fall a fucking part, and so will my families empire and then what!? WHO the fuck are they going to blame then!? Huh? Definitely not my damn brother, he’s too coked out to even tie his fuckign shoe laces neverthless run the family business!”

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Note- This is old...I have a TON of mob/mafia-related “Pilot” chapters as I call them..stashed in my google Docs! This is a heaverier/ agngisterst read by the way, not a downer but just heavy ya know? It works just fine as a stand alone, but by the end of it you can tell that when I initially wrote it I was setting it up to be a series! One that would eventually involve the other boys as well, so there is some backstory!

________________________________________________________________

Hoseok;s tatted, and just radiates soft dom energy…and tbh that’s all we need in this world

The OC is stressed, and needs a damn hug...the end!

Warnings: (Nonsexual- Strong language, mentions of guns, drugs/drug use and addictions, violence and mentions of chronic illness..not pertaining to Hoseok though)  

Warnings- Soft Dom Hoseok, breathe play, slight pain kink(very minimal prep before sex...by choice) overstimulation, handjobs, light come play, spit play, chill dirty talk....unprotected sex.Semi public sex-ish(in her office while the guards are outside the door...)

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Hibiscus island, Miami Florida 8PM 

‘Alright, so I’m looking at about, a half kilo of snow, hmmm, maybe a little over a quart of skag and a couple hundred Tabs of Molly…”

The line went dead on the receiving end causing the man in question to attempt the phrase again…maybe his connection was bad?

“Helll-lo? Boss I said I-”

“I heard you. Was there a an actual question in there somewhere or where you just letting me know your eyes still work?” The level of just…. dry...that fell from his tongue just now….

“Well I-umm no.No...I just wasn't told exactly what was being retrieved from the plane so I just wanted to make sure this was accurate and noth-”  The scoff that rung through the other end was borderline humiliating, as if to imply there's no way in hell he could even think this was “accurate”.

“No Mark, it’s far from accurate, but what you see in front of you is what’s there…”

Ahhh, so that explains his happy go lucky sunshine personality at the moment.

“Okay, well I’ll have this sorted and get the plane sterilized, am I sending this down to the west wing for a quality check first or is this just being disbursed to the runners?”

A deep agitated goan rattled in his throat, god whyyyy does everybody have so many questions today!?

“Just-just put it in one of the storage units for now, I’ll deal with it later” Hanging up the call before any more questions could be rendered because he honestly didn't have the patience to even pretend like he cared right now! The minute the call dropped his phone buzzed indicating he’d receive about his 8th text in a row from a person he’s a second away from releasing a full barrel face on! 

It took every ounce of self control not to just let the phone slip out of his hand and shatter against the patternized stone walkway swirling beneath his feet!

Clearly,Hoseok’s not in a good mood, like, at all...there’s just so much floating through his mind right now he’s practically running out of space to even breathe! 

He’s tired, Irritable, that earth-shattering smile of his is nowhere to be found, instead it appears to have been replaced by a semi-permanent snarl. Oh, and the best part, Germany, yeah that was a complete and utter shit show. It was supposed to just be a simple negotiation in regards to you guys expanding to a new territory. Yet he feels like the last thing he did was actually talk, I mean fuck palms still feel as though they’ve been damn near rubbed raw at this point.  Hours, that’s how long it took to rid his otherwise delicately stealth hands of their custom crimson overlay! And to make life even better, he’s the one who has the pleasure of sitting down and debriefing the whole failed mission to you! 

So yay, he loves that for himself...truly…

 Everything just feels heavy, his head, heart hell, even his spirit at his point! Feet dragging through the opulent Medetriann style courtyard as if they weigh more than he did. The only thing that somewhat has Hoseok in a decent mood was you, the fact that he’d be able to see you in person after what felt like 6 years, which in all actuality was a little shy of 5 days! 

Easing his way through oversized dual french doors, into an area that essentially acted as the east wing's  “Lobby” if you will, panes of white walls, and thick black arched windows framed the entryway. The dim lighting hanging from the cast iron chandelier gave the effect that the stark white walls were almost glowing against the moonlight peeking in. My point? The atmosphere appears calm at first glance, warm..inviting...everything Hoseok needs it to be right now because again he’s NOT in the mood for bullshit. All he’s dealt with over the past 120 some odd hours was bullshit! Hint’s why your European connect is a good, meh, four soldiers down at the moment!

I can’t say Hoseok had a specific…”Greeting” in mind upon strolling back into the compound tonight…..

However, what I can guarantee is the soundtrack that is you going full hulk mode in your office, while your guards stood outside looking like bats outta hell, definitely wasn’t high on his list! The men stationed at the security desk were already whipping their heads around before he even pulled the door open. Ah the beauty of cameras, at this point they weren’t sure what was worse. You, playing whack a mole behind the wall or Hoseok’s reaction once he put two and two together! 

It takes all of 3 steps before another piece of something glass and undeniably expensive shatters against the wall. Accompanied by a loud grunt on your behalf, voice breathy and fragile, which lets him know you’ve been at this for a while. 

The level of just, exhaustion he could hear heaving from your throat is what had him more alarmed than anything else. The fact that you clearly didn’t have the self-control to tell your body to stop…which isn't like you at all! I mean fuck, how long have you been in there?! Hoseok’s heart was beating so loud he could hear it pulsing through his ears! 

“What the fuck did you guys do?!” The first and only thing to leave his lips as he huffs towards the control desk. The guard initially stationed in front of the camera’s, rolled his seat to the far left within seconds. Allowing his superior the space to do whatever he needs, they heard Hoseok’s mouse make about 1 good click before…

“Fuckkkkk” Cursed from his lips with enough depth to bounce off every surface in the room. There was an additional gruffness laced within his tone due to lack of sleep.. which almost made the sound more initiating, borderline animalistic. Hoseok’s voice actually broke towards the end, the growl dying on his tongue before it even started. Head bowing towards the monitor as he rocked forward, attempting to re-center himself. Keyword there….”Attempting”

Precipitously, there’s another sound rattling the air and no, it’s not another object flying against the wall ,it’s Hoseok’s fist...right into the marble desktop! Yup, there are no cameras in your office...why? Because you and the man in question have no fucking self-control...which suddenly he’s really, really regretting! Well, actually, there are cameras, however they can only be turned on from inside the office,and he already knew you turned the feed off! That’s why he’s on 10 because he can’t see you..at all! You could be hurting yourself in the process and he’d have no idea! The entrance to your office is camouflage for obvious reasons, to naked eye one wouldn't even know there was an office!

Even as your consigliere Hoseok didn’t ask for much, never has, not a big fan of relying on others to handle his needs...hmm wonder why he got to that point. Still, an unspoken rule of thumb when he leaves..is it’s every mother fucker's job within the compound, hell even the damn birds that frequent the garden! Everyone, needs to do their part to make sure he dosen’t come back to this..especially with the way things have shifted internally as of late! 

And by “This” I mean you having a mental breakdown in your office, because you aren’t one to just break shit for shits and giggles! This isn’t how you deal with a transaction going south, or a distributor sending over a bad strand of coke.. something’s wrong..really fucking wrong! 

Silent, dead silent, that's what Hoseok was, and that was utterly terrifying, your men knew to give him his space, that he’d address them when he’s ready. All the while carefully observing the way his fingers twitched anxiously next to one of the soldier’s guns, before wrapping his hand around the trigger. Teeth grinding together hard enough to crack a molar, repeating his initial question…

 “What. The. Fuck. Did you guys do?” Gritted through clenched teeth as he paced the gun between the three men standing in the lobby. Not even remotely concerned that he was outnumbered because they all looked petrified...as they should….clearly patience was the very last thing he had tonight. 

“Ugh, nothing we-” Click….there goes the sound of the safety, all of three words and a staggered pause in….

Hoseok’s stance never faltered, eyes blazing into the youngers with such intensity it took everything in him not to divert his gaze away from his superior. Head cocked to the side, jaw clenched painfully tight, you can actually visibly see it twitch. The slight arch in his brow let the guard know that was the wrong damn answer and this wasn’t multiple choice, it’s fill in the blank! So he’s got about one more try before this gun goes off, and suddenly you lot will have yourselves a red accent wall! 

“Hoseok, I swear we really-” Coyly swaying from behind the desk, edging his way closer and closer, to the dumbass that still hasn’t figured out how to properly answer the question. Connecting the gun to the side of his head, shoving the lackey against the wall in the process, there was an oddly calming aura radiating off his body right now. Which was clearly in strong contrast to what was currently taking place...and that’s because this..isn’t new to him anymore. The act of taking one’s life doesn’t weigh on his heart the way it used to and maybe that makes him a monster or..maybe it makes him damn good at his job. 

This was simple honestly, if they're not the reason for said breakdown then tell him what is. Not excuses as to why it wasn’t them because clearly that won’t get him any damn where now will it?

“Fuck-...she-she went and saw her dad!” Bingo! He all about choked on that…

 “ ...and she’s been like that ever since...I swear! I swear!” Hands above either side of his head,  shaking like a leaf in the wind, Hosoek could practically see his Adam’s apple bobbing against this throat, as he backed away. 

The shift within the air was palpable, they could’ve gotten whiplash from how quickly his eyes inverted, from pure rage to pain and concern. Shoulders slouched in on themselves as he released a shaky breath from his lungs, staggering backward as he ruffled his fingers through his jet black locks. Almost appearing somewhat winded by the update that he already kinda braced himself for honestly. 

“Fuck”  The word hushed from his lips so faint he doubts any of the men even heard him. Eyes fluttering shut briefly, his opposite hand rested on the bridge of his nose. Squeezing unnecessarily, tight, intentionally re-inflicting the pain he felt maneuvering through his chest!  It wasn’t even a full 30 seconds before he heard something else shatter into pieces, instantly snapping him back to reality, forcing him to reroute his thoughts. 

“How long…” There was a sudden dryness laced within his delivery as if he really didn’t want to know the answer.

“About a hour...or so….” 

“And I’m assuming she insisted on going alone?” No even bothering to make eye contact as a hushed “Yes..” fell from the guards lips. A low hum rang in the back of his throat while his eyes outlined the patterns within the marble, silently trying to pull his shit together before he made his next request….

“Override the security, and buzz me in….” The guards couldn’t help but feel a little shell shocked at how, monotoned, and emotionless his delivery was. One minute they could feel every once of his frustration without Hoseok even opening his mouth! Suddenly, it was like he’d completely removed himself from the entire conversation. Initially, his lack of patience steamed from other bullshit but now, none of that mattered, Germany, the drug deal, none of that even scratched the surface, all that matters right now is you. 

“Boss I don’t thin-”

Gaze slowly rising from the desk, cold, and somewhat feral, not quite sure why he’s being questioned, but right now, but it's definitely not the time! Bringing his nine back level with the guard in question, Hoseok didn’t have to say anything, his middle finger caressing the trigger said it all, expression blank. Gaze daring him to do anything but, buzz his superior in as he asked..nothing more, nothing less. 

Within seconds the center wall which at first glance just looked like a block of white Statuario marble started to shift, exposing all the shattered pieces of decor on the ground. Not even attempting to warn you first because he knew you’d tell him to leave. So instead, he took a deep breath, dropped the gun back onto the desk, cracked his neck a couple times, braced himself, and stepped inside. 

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Ya know, if circumstances were different the site in front of him could actually be somewhat comical. You, standing in the middle of this obnoxiously large gilded office, all dolled up in your heels, tight little LBD, dawning every curve on your body. A wrist full of Cartier and Bvlgari,hair curled...looking like you’re ready for a night on the town. Yet, instead of sitting in the middle of some 5-star restaurant drinking aged Scotch your in here. Angry, winded and breaking shit...really expensive shit at that! 

However, there was nothing even remotely humorous in regards to the reason behind your sudden rage. Honestly, it broke his heart to see you like this! Yes, the heart that most barely believed he truly had, but that’s neither here nor there, the people that matter know it threw and threw. Hoseok could feel the anger radiating off your skin even from where he stood. You were ablaze, nothing but utter rage, doused from your pores, but what made it even worse was the blatant desperation underneath it all. 

Every scream just seemed more and more broken...sure maybe he’s a hypocrite, he breaks shit all the time when he’s angry, hell people and objects included.  But you....this wasn’t you..and this wasn’t a healthy way for you to cope! To be real the only reason he stood there so long was because he needed a second to pull his shit together! The longer he stared at you the more his chest tightened, eyes burned like hell. His fingers twitched at his side trying to resist the urge to just come grab you, but he knew better. 

Sure, in most people's eyes, and by most I mean 99.9% of the population, you’d be the farthest thing from an angel! You lost any ounce of purity yearsss ago, still, in his eyes..there’s no one more untainted then you where it counts! And that’s, all that mattered because he knows better than anyone that you have a heart made of 24kt gold. A heart that needed to be protected at all cost, and clearly at the moment that’s not happening, because he can see it! Shattering all over the place along with very pricy china! 

Chest rising and falling painfully hard against itself, you were damn near blacked out in rage. So much so you didn’t even notice your office doors opening or closing. You, the woman that trained her ear to hear the faint hum of an elevator in an upscale hotel. 

Leaning down until your face was flush with the desk, gripping the edges so hard Hoseok could hear the floor creak. He couldn’t help but notice how flushed your knuckles looked, bouquets of bruises already blooming along the smooth surface. The moment of silence only lingered about….half a second, just long enough for you to recharge and grab something else to hurl at the wall. Voice-breaking before the hiss even fully rolled off your tongue, and that  “Something” was a set of Tiffany’s champagne glasses that you utterly adored! Well aware that wouldn’t go over well once this was all said and done so he figured that was his cue. 

“Y/n…” His voice wasn’t loud enough, abrasive enough, and frankly, you were far too absorbed to even hear him on such a neutering level! Sooo, he tried again. Slipping seamlessly into his…”Boss man”  tenor if you will, adding a dash of base to his voice that you could not only hear..but feel! 

”Baby!”

You startled upon hearing the endearment, head snapping around, body staggering until you fell back onto the corner of the desk. Bracing yourself with one arm, so you didn’t actually fall, chest heaving in short staggered breaths, as you gazed back at him, though it was clear initially you really weren’t looking at him.  

“Don’t!” He could see your body starting to curl in on itself as you shifted under his gaze which currently felt like an uncapped bulb in the middle of an integration room. The warning was too half hearted for him to even acknowledge!!

“Fuckkk''  Cursed from your lips only loud enough for you to hear once you gazed up at the clock through swollen eyes, not even realizing how late it was. Far too consumed in anger to remember that Hosoek was even coming home tonight, infuriating yourself even more because this was the last thing you wanted him to walk in on.  You didn’t want to burden him with the task of having to put you back together again, you’d been doing it just fine yourself for the past 5 or so days since this has secretly become routine as of late! You cry, you break shit, you touch up your makeup, and then you walk out of your office like nothing happened and continue running this 9 figure empire.

 “Just-go-go, back outside….” You were trying to sound strong, determined like you weren’t falling apart, and you were failing...miserably failing, you weren’t in control you were practically begging. The concern in Hoseok’s eyes was more than evident and that made shit even worse. Yet no matter how bad his palms were aching to touch you, he didn’t dare to reach for you yet, he knew your limits, and right now still wasn’t it…He could physically see you shudder as if it  wasn’t a solid 75 degrees outside right now.

The silence was too much, way too much, it felt as though it was ripping you apart, or maybe you were ripping yourself apart? Maybe it’s just harder to hide from yourself when you no longer can drown out your thoughts with the sound of you screaming and breaking shit…

“Fuck, this is about Germany right? Or Amsterdam? Whatever it is, whatever you need from me. You can have it...we can talk I promise, but right now,  I need you to leave…” Trying your damnedest to hold is gaze but it felt impossible because you knew he saw straight through you!

The pause was long enough for him to say something and still...nothing...it was like he was trying to push you enough to finally admit what you really needed from him.

“I just need a minute...t-to pull my shit together and then I’ll be fine, then we can talk.” You were practically whispering, your voice was so trashed and distressed. Forcing yourself to drop an octave, removing any texture from your tone  in order to properly “convey” your message yet he still didn't budge! 

“Hoseok, don’t make me ask again...just-” Shoeing your hand towards the door to replace the word you couldn’t quite get to roll off your tongue. 

Everything about you was contradictory because now you wanted him, your eyes were pleading in agony for him to hold you and make everything disappear. Yet, your tone was dry, removed, as if he was some low-level soldier on the totem pole, not to mention you legit just told him to leave. But oh how your emotions betray you when it comes to Mr. Jung! No matter how much bullshit you just spit out, you really only said one thing...and he heard it clear as day. 

Hoseok already knows, he knows you like the inside of a VP9 Veterinary pistol, no matter how cold your delivery was it didn’t stop him from easing off the wall and invading your space. You could feel him before he even got in within 10 ft of you, his aura already starting to infiltrate your little bubble! His stride was slow, confident, making up for all the things you currently lacked because that’s what a good partner does! 

He could see how hard you were clinging to the table as if you were using that to ground you, afraid of how lost you’d get once he got in arm’s length. This man had a soul that outweighed yours by miles and that was one of your favorite things about him, how deep he could go in more ways than one.  Hoseok didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of you, close enough for you to taste the speirment on his tongue. Still, he hasn’t touched you and now you really needed him to touch you! The sweet musky scent of his cologne filling your lungs, you could practically feel the heat radiating off his body, god why weren’t the two of you in bed right now? Not even having sex nesicarilly,  just naked, skin on skin...you just wanted to feel him. It’s actually disgusting, the amount of control he has over your entire sense of being at this point. The way even just the slightest touch can completely throw all of your senses out of whack or back in whack I guess I should say.  

“Hmmm, a minute is all you need yeah….” Not even attempting to phrase it as a question because he knew it was all bullshit anyway!  So you didn’t dare respond, not trusting your voice anyway, just keeping your eyes trained on his...getting lost in how bright they looked in contrast to yours. Spreading your legs on instinct so he could get even closer, shifting slightly on top of the desk. 

Hands braced on either side of your frame to give him leverage as he tilted forward. “Well, it seems as though you’ve had….many minutes, hours even..” Eyes wandering around the room observing the mess you’d made, yeah the maids gonna need a bonus after this!  

“It doesn’t appear you having time alone has done you much good so try again baby…”Hoseok had a tenor that was meant for your ears, and your ears only. The typical bright almost giddy little accent to his tone was always replaced by a calmer, warmer one. An underlying element of sensuality that exuded just the right amount of calculated…. control….an effortless sense of dominance if you will.

Staring down at you through hooded lids thoroughly, reading for any ounce of discomfort! Once he didn’t find any... finally, you felt his hands take a firm grip on your waist. Your body tensed initially, hoping to counteract how hard you were still shaking! Hint, you failed, you were practically vibrating against him at initial contact!

“Breathe y/n...” 

“I am, trust me that’s the only thing I can do right now…” There was still a slight bite rolling off your tongue, no matter how winded you sound. However, in Hoseok’s eyes sass is better than silence so carry on! 

Nosing along the side of your neck, right beneath your ear, next to your windpipe, letting him feel how you truly felt, which was unbalanced and a little lost. Your heart rate per 15 seconds was probably double what it was on an average day and yes, Hoseok knows how many times your heart beats per minute on an average day! 

“Baby...” Cooed from his lips almost sympathetically as he slowly started painting a trail down the side of your neck with his lips. 

“Hoseok, I-god-I can’t-” You “can’t “what exactly?  Relax? Give in? Shut your brain off? What “Can't” you do? 

“Yeah, yeah, you can, let me turn shut your brain off for a minute , let me take care of you.” Hands gently ravishing your body, effortlessly sending goosebumps down your spine with every feather-like touch. 

“I’ll give you any, and everything you want, but I won’t leave you alone right now…” The words fanned against your skin making your shiver against him, no matter how calm his tenor was the dominance was clear as day! You didn’t have a say in the matter….

Reclining your neck on instinct giving him more room to work as you tried to clear your mind of any and everything that wasn’t Hoseok as you let your eyes fan shut. 

“Hoseok…” Staggered out heavily feeling like you were choking and he only offering a hum in response, not letting up from his current mestractions….”Fuck, yeah, okay just- just keep touching me...please” You weren’t typically a beggar even in bed but right now you needed him, not int he mood to be sassy or play hard to get, to be honest, you just didn’t have the energy. 

“I’m not going anywhere baby..I’m right here..all here for you..always…in any way you need me…” Palms soothing down your thighs, reaching under to smoothly wrap them around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. Once he felt you secure your ankles he reached for your hands, kissing along your knuckles before sliding them under the back of his shirt. Knowing how skinship puts your mind at ease, and the second the pads of your fingers graze his skin...you’re already finding  yourself digging your nails into his shoulders. Ripping a low growl from his throat, as he rocked his hips forward, re-positioning his arms on either side of your body so his forehead was flush to yours. 

“All here for you, in any way you need me..” That seems to hold a lot more weight as of late and no matter how much you’re trying to rid your mind of those thoughts..you can’t, you fucking can’t. Suddenly you’re clawing at his shoulders for a different reason, and it hurts, and not the fun kinda pain either…he hears a faint whimper leave your lips, as you clung to him even tighter.

“Y/n….” He exhales, voice shaking eyes glazed over, welting full of tears he’s praying don’t fall because he needs to be strong for you right now. “Baby” There was a blatant plea laced within that and you...

“I know, I know…” it’s unsaid...though it’s clearly not unsaid because you know...youuuu know, the two of you avoided that word. Maybe because if you said it that makes the idea of losing each other even worse. So for now, you’d just prefer to endlessly show it…....

Talking would just suck ass right now, so you opted for the later and leaned in, it wasn’t soft or delicate..you kissed him hard. Until he was gasping through his nose to breathe while, almost stifling forward,letting your hands wander up his shirt to thread into his hair.  Tugging at his scalp until you heard him moan against your tongue, taking that as your invitation to lick your way into his mouth which he accepts willingly. Reclining his jaw letting you have control because he figured you could probably use that right now.  Your lips moved with such emotion, and just pure passion that you don’t know if you’d ever felt so weak under him..yet powerful all at the same damn time! You almost feel lightheaded, the more you kiss, tongues meeting with such desperation your chest feels like it’s burning. Teeth clashing, nails clawing so hard into Hosoek’s skin it hurts but he doesn’t give a damn.

You tilt your head back giving him free access to do as he pleases and he bites. Hard. Until he rips a moan right off your tongue and it sounds so damn good….Nipping licking and sucking over every inch of skin he can reach. Feenin to hear you moan over and over again...until your lips find his and your clawing at his v-neck for dear life. Yanking at the neckline until you hear it rip, lifting and tugging it until he finally takes the hint….

“Offff” 

“Come take what you want.” Pulling back to allow you to yank it over his head, exposing mounds of warm and toned honey-coated skin, covered in trails of articulately placed ink. A combination of new-aged back and white with hints of watercolor paint his skin, telling an array of stories that you know like the back of your hand at this point!

Tugging him back by the nape of his neck so his chest is flush to yours, the warmth radiating through the fabric of your dress, which didn’t cover much, to begin with. Rolling your hips up into his for slight friction until your moaning back against his tongue again, hands moving down to help you grind at a steady rhythm. The contrast of the rough material of his jeans, against your clit was really fucking you up right now.  

“Hoseok…”

“Baby” He countered in a way that had your curls trying to curl under the pad of your heels! 

“Fuck, Fuck me,” You whispered against his lips intentionally whiney, and he froze instantly, not that he didn’t want to because fuck he wanted to he just...Hoseok’s big on talking shit out. Not one for hiding or aiding emotions, and clearly there’s something wrong here!

“I really,need you right now”  You whisper again, nipping at his bottom lip and now it’s hopeless because this man knows he can’t deny you a damn thing. He hasn’t been able too since the two of you met in Paris, initially as strangers stood on a roof with your Colt Pistols aiming dead in each other’s faces.

You could feel the frustration growling from his throat but still, he kissed you deeper, harder, rocking you against the desk so your laying on your back. Rolling his hips against you slowly just to hear you moan against his tongue. ‘Hoseok!” Yeah, your whiny, and yeah your inpatient…

‘God, the shit you do to me…” Leaning in to steal your breath away with another deep brusing kiss.There was a hint of frustration and disbelief, lingering within that, and you can’t help but smile up at him, soothing your palms down the smooth planes of his chest. Nails idly outlining the array of cherry blossoms painting his skin, framing his collarbone perfectly. Not even trying to hide how much you loved knowing you had the same effect on him, which in laymen’s terms just means your both helplessly and endlessly whipped! 

Being in this deep, with someone within your world is dangerous, even more so when they’re actually in the field,  not hauled up in a castle, like some modern-day Repunzel. It can make you vulnerable, irrational, hypersensitive, but on the flip side, it can also turn you into the most lethal version of yourself where enemies are concerned. Your need to ensure no one stands in the way of whatever you deem your “Happy Ending” to be, becomes insatiable...you’d set cities ablaze for that man and he’d do the same..in a heartbeat! 

Considering that’s the first, and only smile he’s seen from you in days he can’t help but lean down again. Leaving one more lingering kiss against your lips sighing out in content at how laxed and pliant you feel under him, you already know he’s smiling, you can feel Hoseok's teeth against your lips. Tentatively he untangles himself, not before leaning down a good three or four more times to kiss you again. As if he's going far, hell as if your ass was going any damn where to begin with even if he was. 

Smoothing his hands up your thighs, hiking your dress around your waist in the process, hissing at the fact you opted against panties today. The minute he eased your legs apart not only could he smell how much you need him but he could see...the need dripping from your lips. Wiggling your hips a little, as your arched even further onto the oversized glass desk, shoving the mounds of files to the side, your heels gave you the perfect angle to completely spread out. Putting yourself on full display, the slight elevation on your lower half had your hips tipping slightly forward, giving him  access to everything he needed! Your gaze was far  too innocent for his liking as you batted your lashes in his direction. Easing your hands up your body.. taking a little detour to caress your breast in your hands before letting them get lost in your hair. 

An all-knowing smirk playing on your lips as you watch his eyes slowly unravel every inch of your body. If you didn’t know any better you’d think his mouth was watering, stealth fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave a mark. Dropping to his knees..

“I don’t-”

“I know, I know”  Leaning forward until his lips were flush with your inner thigh, eyes trained on yours daring you to look away, jerking slightly when he bit you, then a low moan fell off your lips as he sucked on the spot. 

“You sound so fuckin good” Slurred against your skin, teeth sinking into your thigh even harder this time leaving a larger bite mark. Not pulling back until you squirmed from under him, his name husking off your tongue. 

What you meant earlier was you didn't want him to fully prep you tonight, you wanted the pain, the feeling of him stretching you open around his cock instead of his fingers. The delicious burn that almost makes you feel like your on the brink being split open! But I mean, fuck, look at you, he can’t just..not taste you, right? I mean no he HAS to taste you…

Resting his head against your inner thigh, thumbs kneading your skin while he started to kiss  his way around your bikini line. There seems to be no rush and at the moment you were just enjoying the warmth ghosting off his lips so you laid there content. Then, he leaned forward, placing his lips flush against your clit, leaving an array of solid lingering kisses all the way up your lips. And yeah they were somewhat chaste at this point,but you were feeling real needy  right now so even that had you squirming beneath him. 

“Hoseok” Sighed from your lips as you felt goosebumps spread through your body, gently massaging your nipples through your dress, somewhat teasing yourself instead of giving direct contact. Just allowing your touch to ghost over, until you’re arching into your own hand, pinching even tighter but still not giving your body the full sensation . 

“Y/n” Hoseok replied, calm as ever, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you “God, your so damn sexy…” Slowly his tongue fell from his lips and landed right around your clit, sucking it into his mouth with a moan that shot through every cell in your body. He sucked, and slurped you between his lips so hard, and you damn near smothered him with your thighs on accident. Your body's first instinct was to pull away, there was so much pressure and stimulation being applied to literally the most sensitive region of your body. And it was steady, once he had you wrapped around your tongue that's where you stayed.

“Holy shit-babyyy” Eyes squeezing shut, trying to remember how to breathe!

 Your mind and body weren’t on the same page, thighs practically vibrating on either side of his head and the minute he felt your legs close in, he nipped the skin between his teeth.Forcing you to arch up and away instead of clamping down, a broken cry of his name falling off your tongue as you tried to desperly keep your legs apart. 

He knew you needed a distraction, leaning forward, grabbing your hand and burying it into your hair, making sure you had an almost painfully tight grip on his scalp! You were damn thankful because holding him like this gave you some sense of ground, instead of you feeling like your about to plummet through the glass.

Hoseok always touched you like he wanted too, like he was the one getting off which prompted your next question once the air resurfaced to your lungs. 

“Mmm, fuck your hard for me already aren’t you? Just tasting me get’s my baby hard doesn't it?” You knew the answer but damn if it didn’t feel good to hear him moan it out anyway.

Nipping at your thigh again, this time a little harder “You fuckin, known, what you do to me, I could come right now if I didnt need to feel you come all over my cock” You moaned so loud at that, gripping his scalp even tighter. “That’s it baby, keep me where you want me.” So you did just that. Pushing his head down so he had nowhere to go but your clit, however the smirk you could feel resting against your thigh should've warned you that he was about to rip you apart.

Hoseok circled his tongue around the very tip, meriscally, his strokes were deep and languid, and they ripped you apart. There's no other way to describe the way he’s volleying your pussy around his tongue, right now! The only comparison I can give you is he’s kissing your clit, and every crevice between your lips, as if he was thoroughly exploring every inch of your mouth . He was loud, and messy, in his pleasure where your concerned, the almost primal sound of his lips, and spit smacking against your folds. Low, needy moans vibrating against your skin as if you were the best damn thing he’d tasted all day. Pulling back to spit directly on your entrance, pursing his lips, and blowing , directing it to fall straight in and your body clenched hard. Fuck you needed, him to inside you…. nuzzling his face between your thighs until his nose was flush with your clit. He knew better than to work you open with his fingers so he opted for his tongue. Picking his own lubricate back up with the tip of his tongue and swirling it around the entrance. Moaning at the wall your body naturally started clenching around the muscle. You were a moaning mess beanthe him, hips rocking against his face.

You’re getting antsy now, wiggling your hips harder, you felt like you were close from this alone and that;s not what you wanted “Fuck Hoseok, baby just fuck me…”  Yanking his head until he pulled away, dragging his lips down to meet yours, chin glistening with all traces of you. The kiss was hard, messy,your essence was all you could taste against his tongue, moaning out as he rocked his hips into you. Leaning forward so he could reach into the Hermes gift box which was kinda decoration kinda used to store lube and other shit you really should have in an office! 

The minute he grabbed the bottle you ripped it from his hands, this was the least you could do,plus you just loved how heavy he felt in your palm. Hoseok almost growled as he deepened the kiss, more teeth and tongue than finesse,the kiss is hard, it feels like your both gasping for air the entire time but neither of you want to pull apart. Pulling at his belt with nothing but a whine until he gets the hint and smacks your hand out of the way, within seconds you feel him hit your stomach. Hot, hard, and heavy, and god if you didn't clench so damn hard, he’s literally twitching  on top of you right now.

“Do you even have the slightest idea how fucked up I am for you?  How hard I am and you havent even touched me yet?” 

“Mmm, I don’t know baby it’s been a minute since I’ve seen you...” Your whispers seductive yet taunting,kissing at his jaw and his neck, smiling against his skin at the low moans that spill from his lips. “Tell me..

Digging your heels into his back as you uncapped the bottle, taking an obscene amount in your hand before reaching between your bodies. Ripping a shaky moan from Hoseok's throat once you laced your fingers around his cock. Squeezing just enough to let all the acces lube drizzle down his shaft and land on his balls, he’s just throbbing in your palm right now and your not even moving yet. “Does it make you feel good to know you got me wrapped around your finger? Knowing- I’d- fuck-” Now, your moving,  hand working his shaft, flucuating the way you distribute pressure, loosser at the bottom and tighter twoards the head  becuse thats his sweet spot. Lube just running down your fingers, it’s so damn messy and you love it,he's straight up whining into your mouth right now. Breath fanning against your face as he nuzzles into your skin...lips parted.

“Knowing that you’d what baby?”  Tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, feeling the way his hips twitched above you , so you slow down your pace, and tighten your grip. Hoseok's brows are furrowed chest flushed…..he looks fucking beautiful.

“That I’d kill anyone in a heartbeat for you, that i’d never let a damn thing happen to you” He can't help but rock into your fist even harder, eyes struggling to stay focused but he refuses not to look at you.. “Does that get to you the same way it does me? Because I still get hard thinking about the way you went toe to toe with Jin’s father about me that night in Italy.” Trailing his tongue down the side of your jaw nibbling ever so slightly “That,was-fuck-the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”

“God, I-...” Licking your way back into his mouth as you continued working him in your hand, moving your thumb over his tip, smearing the mounds of precum into the excessive lube .“Yeah, fuck yeah, it turns me on wayy more than it should. I shouldn't want you to be reckless when it comes to me but god if it's not sexy as all hell knowing you would be…” 

“And I would” he responds with zero Hesitation….

The sudden passion somewhat catches you off guard honestly, and the fire burning through his eyes as he said that is….stifling to say the least. 

“You’d go to war with me baby?” You didn't intend to shift the mood this heavy, yet you couldn't help the way it just vomited off your tongue. Maybe it’s your subconscious talking right now, still trying to fight it’s way through regardless of your current surroundings! 

Reaching up to cup your jaw, tilting your chin upwards, placing the most fragile kiss along your lips . “With you, for you, anyway you spin it the answer is yes...a hundred times over baby it’s yes…” The ache you currently felt coursing through your veins for this man right now...

“I need you in me. Now. I promise will go slow...please let me do this” 

Hoseok held your gaze for a moment before responding, searching your eyes for any hesitation “‘And you’ll tell me if it’s too much..” Grip firm around your waist, not even bothering to phrase it as a question because it wasn’t one...

‘Promise…” Placing the tip right at your entrance,and Hoseok can feel your heat trying to pull him in but he retreats. Giving you full control, keeping your eyes trained on his, well aware that’s what he needed to make sure, he could gauge our pain whether you wanted to admit it or not. Initially, nothing happened neither of you moved, just the faint suction of your very neglected pussy trying to suck him in.

 “I said I wanted you to fuck me...you know my body better than I do..make me take you…” 

‘I-” Yeah. Hoseok.Exe stopped working because he definitely wasn't expecting that, thinking you’d just rock yourself down, not that you wanted him to gauge your restience! Nails raking down his back as you roll your hips against him, making sure he can feel how warm and wet you are, how ready you are..positioning your lips to moan right against his ear.

“Fucking come’re” Hosoek leans forward smashing his lips against yours so hard it hurts, grabbing your legs, bracing them on either side of his shoulders. Sliding your hips forward until the backs of your thighs are flush with his chest, and your red bottoms are facing the ceiling. Gripping his length, teasing the head up and down your folds, as he left a trail of open wet mouthed kisses down your jaw,behind your ear, over to your neck. Ending with his lips nuzzled against your ear…returning the gesture “Missed you, touching you,” Exensuating each word with a kiss “The sound of your voice, waking up to you, being inside you...” Rocking his hips against yours deep, and hard.

You can’t even help but moan at just the mention of him being inside again after what feels like months “Want you, need you....” You’re in rare form tonight, yeah, your always a little submissive with him but not to this extent. 

“Your really tryin to break me today huh?” Tugging your lobe between his teeth before suctioning his lips around your jaw, at this angle Hoseok had the fronts of your thighs colliding with your chest. If he even considers  bringing you back this deep once he’s in you...it’s game over…”You ready?” 

“God yes” Soothing your hands up his stomach once he pulled back, skin hot to the touch and initially nothing happens, just the pressure of Hoseok's tip. Wiggling your hips playfully gives him a little incentive, so he starts to rock forward, and suddenly play times over! Your body freezes dead in its tracks...Hoseok's eyes stay trained on yours the entire time and your jaw clenches at the exact moment your pussy clamps down around his tip. As if you're trying to reroute the pressure elsewhere…A slight whine spills form your lips which lets him know there is still some pleasure laced within all of this.

‘Touch me, keep touching me baby….” Somehow Hoseok appears to be offensively calm regardless of the vice like grip you currently have around him! The request was more for you than him, knowing how much you needed his warmth right now! Clearly your not even close to being settled enough for him to come down flush level yet. So, this will have to do,taking your hands in his, guiding them down his body leisurely. Leading your fingers on a little field trip, sighing contently once you feel how warm and toned he is, how strongly his body reacts to your touch. The way every muscle twitches as you ghost over it, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Subconsciously you found yourself leaning towards his touch, hissing out once you shifted a little too much for the moment.

“You still with me baby?” 

Nodding slowly as you try to focus, steading your breathing as much as possible, you wanted, no, needed to feel him like this! He can see the pain coursing through your body as the two of you still hold each other's gaze, which is the only thing keeping you grounded right now. Resting his head against your inner thigh, kissing along your skin once he feels his tip breach your quivering entrance. And it’s tight , fuck it’s tight, your body feels like it’s buring from the inside out once you swollow the swell of his head between your lips. Your jaw slacks open and nothing comes out, he’s not even sure if your breathing right now but what he does know is your eyes are still open and focused on Hoseok. 

“Goddamn” Hoseok groans deep and low head lulling back and finally he sounds just as fucked up as you,hand taking a bruisingly hard grip on your hips. He’s actually trying to shift back a little, so he can rock back in, but he can’t. You won’t let him go,“You gotta-shit, you gotta  let me breathe a little baby….fuck” He’s winded and using every once of self control he has to stay stationary, even though your applying a dangerous amout of pressure to the most sesentive regin of this mans shaft. The tip, that's all that's suctioned between your heat and your squeezing him like your trying to break him, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.  

 So you try, fuck you try, exhaling then inhaling then exhaling again, attempting to get all your msucles to relax. Only problem is your not even clenching around Hoseok’s cock, you just have him trapped. Your just clamped tight, so tight it hurts, on both ends! He can feel your thighs shaking around him, pulling inwards as if your bodies trying to curl in on itself , and he knows this isn't going to work! He’s hissing hard too, nails digging into the swell of your ass, and thankfully once the two of you make eye contact yours are daggering into him with a silent plea. And he already knows what you want! The real issue is there’s way too much swirling around your head mentally for you to have full control over your senses right now. So, that's when you render him full control of any and every inch of your being to do as he pleases in order to give you what you need.

“Ho-Seok...fuck just-” 

 Reaching out for one of your hands so you can squeeze his as hard as you need, kissing along your knuckles.”Yeah?” 

“Yeah!” Tilting your head back with a beathy whine, squeezing his fingers even tighter….

 “You trust me?” Nodding without hesitation “I need you, to keep your eyes open, and focus, can you do that for me baby? ”  It’s a lot but Hoseok knows your limits and if it was truly too much he’d pull out, you can take it, all of it. Shifting your thighs so there now wrapped around his waist as opposed to above his head.  Pouring an obscene amount of lube on the remainder of his shaft, not even bothering to rub it in, just letting the excess drip onto the table. 

“And if you can’t get your colors out?” 

“Pinch you...I’m good, I know you got me...”A lazy smile tugging on your lips as you just try to stay calm.

“On the count of three, take a deep slow breath through your nose...and don't exhale until I tell you too” Hoseok cups your cheek and you nuzzle into it, kissing the tips of his fingers, you can feel them trembling though he’s trying to appear at ease.. 

“K” Yes wide, but focused, determined...a  little stubborn but hell you've already started right? 

Hoseok's eyes flutter shut briefly, taking in a deep slow breath of his own, making sure he’s in the right headspace to guide you through this. Once those big brown eyes of his creek open and your gazes meet again it’s heavy. Hosoek’s eyes are blown out, half lided, already glazed over, he just looks like sex...and he looks like hes about to break you in all the right ways! 

Adjusting his grip on your hip, steadying himself, thumbing at your side, “Count with me….1” God, the textures in this man's voice where unreal, he just sounds so damn smooth, the hushed command had so much control, and warmth wrapped up in all of 4 words.

He rocks forward, barely...just to see if you’ve loosened up and you still haven’t budged... Flicking his chin in your direction indicating he wanted you to continue…

“Two…” You’d be lying if you aid your heart wasn;t hammering in your ears as you let a deep breath start to fill your lungs.

“Three” Whispped through clenched teeth and he didn’t hesitate, rocking back just a little so he has better leverage tilting his hips upwards and he watches your eyes widen..thighs tense but he doesn't stop. Redirecting all of his weight into his abdomen, grinding down with a deep, heavy roll of the hips, you can feel every muscle in his back within this first thrust. Your fingers twitch in his hold, eyes glazing over relatively quickly, but your still looking at him, barely but you are. Even Hoseok’s breathing a little shaky, brows furrowed, but he's in, his tips fully past your entrance “Let it out baby….” 

And you do, whimpering hard, as a choked out breath hippicus through your chest, initially you were expecting him to pause. Give you a minute to adjust to the initial stretch…..Nope…

He doesn't stop, he's still rolling forward and now your gasping and whimpering all over again, even louder this time! Hoseok’s thumbs bruising the hell out of your hips but you don’t have him stop, you can’t! Your mind and body needs this right now, the tension the burn,all of it! 

“That’s it…” Even though his restricted breathing you can hear the fondness dripping off his tongue. “ Focus on me, I got you” The more he breaches his way through your heat the more the wind gets knocked out of your lungs but it’s good, it’s soo damn good! You manage to somewhat choke out his name and he just hums in response, biting down on his bottom lip in concentration. Untangling his hand from yours to brace both on either side of his head. Hoseoks pushing through steadily now,morphing his way through your heat that’s still trying to fight against him but he doesn't stop.No matter how hard you pulsing around him, Hoseok's shaft drags forward until his balls meet the swell of your asss. And finally he’s right on top of you, your bodies trembling beneath him so he gently lowers himself. Bringing his chest flush to yours letting your wrap your arms around his neck. Clawing your way down his back, intentionally releasing some of the tensions coursing through your veins. Licking his way back into your mouth, kissing deep, and messy until your light headed and desperate. Endless Moans richoching against one other, his palms soothing down your thighs. 

Everything pauses for a while, neither of you move, your both panting hard into each other's mouths while you adjust and Hoseok's not rushing you either. Wanting you to relax a little so he doesn't come after all of 2 strokes, idily  tracing patterns against your skin. Finally able to feel your breathing even out, muscles becoming more laxed beneath him!

“You ready for me baby?,”

All you can do is moan in response, still so overwhelmed, squeezing your legs around his waist as hard as you could so he at least knows your still with him. 

So he does, pulling out and pushing back in, and your eyes automatically roll back at the feeling. It’s still tight as fuck but he’s somehow managing to weave his way through. .

“Hurts?”  He can’t help but ask since your thighs are still shaking a little, and you nod honestly.

“Good pain? Good enough to make my pretty baby come?” More of a statement than a question, you can hear the smirk in his voice, as he kissed down your jaw. Trying to distract you a little,sucking a couple bruises along the front of your neck . Edging his way back and forth building up a steady tempo, and finally Hoseok can feel the shift. He’s able to breathe within you a little better, your letting him wade in a little deeper! 

You exhale shakily and nod again, feeling him shift off of you, repositioning your legs on either side of his shoulders.Leaning forward pressing all his weight into his arms until your thighs are flush to your chest. 

Your mouth opens and closes, kinda like a fish outta water, you do it a few times but not shit comes out.

“Baby…” Kissing up your inner thigh as he gently rocks forward , slowing down a little so you can feel the slow drag of his cock pull you apart. Back arching ever so lightly, moaning out low and wanton “Your so, sexy, doin so good for me” Nuzzling against your skin, nipping lightly at your inner thigh. 

“Your deep” The word barley leaves your tongue “Fuck, faster..”

“Yeah?”

Before you can even respond he snaps his hips forward and you almost scream, nails digging into his disciples as he stares down at you with a smirk that’s..real concerning considering the position he has you in. So he does it again, pulling his cock halfway out and rocking forward, 

“That’s it, that’s what my baby needed,” Hoseok whispers and thrust forward even harder this time, rocking up on the heels balls of his feet as if he’s aiming for your damn ribcage. 

Your mouth falls back open, looking like you wanna moan but you can;t every exhale gets cut off by another deep roll of the hips,repositioning himself so he braced with one arm. Running the other up your face, into your hair, before cradilling your jaw, thumbing at your bottom lip which you nip and suck into your mouth. Humming out contently, as you lick a stipe up his index and middle finger, not missing the way Hoseok’s cock twitches at the added stimulation. 

“Look at you…..” Eyes trailing down your body agnoniziling slow, taking in each and every detail as if it’s the very first times he's ever seen you like this. And still, you can’t help but shutter at the genuine astonishment burning through those lust filled eyes of his. Which eventually land on the site that his is cock dissappring between your wet and swollen pussy, lips just sprawled over his balls just the way he likes “ My baby's so good for me hmm?

“Always…” you whisper eyes rolling back,,completely glazed over, as his fingers fallback from your lips, every inch of your skin feels like it’s on fire right now.

Hoseok gets lost for a minute, watching the way your so pliant and trusting with him, eyes squeezed shut just letting yourself get consumed by all things Hoseok! Pulling back just enough to spit directly on your clit. The texture has your eyes flying open the instantly rolling shut once he brings his thumb down to work the bud at a swift steady pace. 

“Fuckkkk” Whimpering loudly in repsonse “Don’t stop, fuck harder..” And that he does, harder faster every thrust has his balls smacking against your ass. “Fuck, yes! Fuck, you feel so good…” 

“Yeah, yeah...your right there...come on baby…” He can feel you pulsing even harder against him. Not that you ever fully stopped but the tensions different now, more constricted…..he starts thrusting home hard! Spitting an even bigger wad on your clit, mixing it with the extra lube dripping down his balls as he continues ripping your nerves wide open. 

“Fuck, kiss me!” Whiney and bossy as per usual!

Smacking his hand away, exchanging it for your own so you can drag him down and take what you need, placing  your index and middle finger straight to the clit, which was rock hard. Applying as much pressure as possible, until the friction almost burns. Feeling your release dangling right in front of your face.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come...” You whisper out  all of a sudden slowly rocking your hips forward trying to meet his thrust though it’s  kinda hard in this position. 

“Yeah? You gonna come all over my cock? Then let me fill you up until I’m dripping down your thighs...” The kiss is messy more tonuge and teetht han skill, he can feel you, your right fucking there, thrusting into so hard it almost hurts.

Your eyes widen, brows furrowing to the center of your face, breath shuttering in your throat, mouth just parted against his, then your eyes squeezed shut. Fingers still working your clit, and your coming, silent at first until your crying out, voice shattinger , nails dragging from the nape of hoseok's neck down his back! He dosen’t stop fucking you, not even for a second, going just as, and fast as he was before, while you whitherbenathe him. The second he feels you try and pull your hand away he drops his hips even lower, restricting any movements. 

“Don’t fucking stop! Keep coming until I do, I'm right there,ride this out with me baby” He all about growls at you, and you don’t even dare to disobey, to be honest you don’t wanna stop. Body almost working on autopilot to chase the buzz running through your body, running towards it as much as your trying to run away…it’s too much but it’s soo good!

He’s thrusting into you as hard as he can but fuck if his biceps aren’t on fire and he just can’t finish the way he wants...the way he needs. So he pulls out, fast, barley giving you time to whine nevertheless realize what's going on and he slides over next to you. Lying back on the desk and grabbing you within seconds, sinking you back down onto his cock in one swift notion. Nails digging into your hips as he fucks you down onto him, hard, short thrust rip through your body, not making you do a damn thing but try and hang on for the ride! Your gasping hard, tossing your head back once you reconnect your hand with your clit. Attempting to roll your hips down and meet the pace he’s set but it's merciless… and he’s picking up speed quickly. 

“jesus-fuck-Ho-oseok!” Your nails are raking into this man's chest so hard you wouldn't be surprised if you broke skin but he’s groaning deep and that’s only egging you on! 

His honey coated complexion’s just dripin, brows furrowed, eyes barley ajar, Hoseok seems to be returning the favor. His thumb is about a second away from leaving a permanent indentation and it hurts but you need it. Not even a question as to if you guards can hear you or not your loud! Voice trashed, and very swipe of the hand has you jerking and twitching above him because your clits sentive as all fuck, but goodamn if he dosen’t look good, forhead sweaty  jaw slacked. 

“Y/n, Y/n, fuckk” He’s whining high and needy, heats rashing over his body, and you feel his balls tighen against your ass, and now he turly is right there. You can feel him twitching hard inside you.

“Come onnn baby, you know I fuckin want it, you know I wanna be fu-” There’s a choked out tear rolling down your cheek your bodies spazing so damn hard, it’s painful. Before you can even make sense of what’s happening your crying, and your clenching and coming all over again, your bodies completely spent. Toppling on top of him, instantly because...what the hell just happened?? 

 You clamp down tight around his cock unintentionally, body just luid, and spasming above him and you both moan and that’s when he comes, hard. Eyes open, and locked with yours, a low goan of your name falling from his lips as he spills into you. Hoseok’s shaking beneath you but he doesn't even try to pull out, reaching up to gently brush the tears off your cheek. Taking your hand in his, and sucking those same two fingers into his mouth, eyes locked with your as he does so, and your too damn spent to even react properly. Slowly he still continues thrusting into you, leaning up to press a couple soft kisses against your lisp, humming contently as you taste yourself.  Adjusting his grip so he has one hand, caressing the back of your neck and the other wrapped around your waist. Rubbing slow soothing circles down your spine, as he cards his fingers through your hair, your chest heaving together in unison as your bodies slowly come down. 

“Hi” The words hush off your tongue with a lazy, and utterly exhausted smile, eyes too heavy to open until you feel his teeth pressing against your lips. Letting you know he's smiling too and I mean, fuck, who are yuo to declien a front row seat to to watch the sunrise!

“Hi baby…”  Leaning up to press another linger kiss against your lips as his hips to a halt, just letting you simmer around him. Even the slight stimulation was enough to have both of you moaning out in overstimulation...

________________________________________________________________

The comedown was always slow between the two of you so it’s not a surprise that your bodies and tongues stayed tangled together long after Hoseok came. Eventually, the desk got a little uncomfortable, Hoseok's damn near stuck to it ,there's so much heat radiating off his skin.  So he wraps you in his arms and plops the two of you down on the couch. All the while , his cocks still bured between your lips, your dress is still flipped over your ass and his jeans and hanging low against his thighs! 

“How you feelin?”Pressing delicate kisses all over your face, hands rubbing your inner thighs because he knew they were burning by now.

“Tired” You pouted, mumbling slightly...

“Well, I guess I did my job then huh?” A faint smirk tugging on his lips, as he kissed down your jaw….

Once the two of you settled on the couch Hoseok waits a moment, opting to see if you’d want him to pull out though he should’ve known better, the two of you fall asleep like this more times than not! Gently stroking his fingers down your back in hopes it would coax you into talking without him having to pry it out of you!  The longer you lot sat in silence the faster your heart rate got, Hoseok could actually hear it echoing throughout the room. Leaning down to press a flurry of kisses into your scalp trying to ease you in anyway he could. Eventually, the T-rex in the room was starting to feel a little suffocating sooo...

“He’s just not...doing well, like…. at all…” Tone flat, as if you were trying to remove yourself from the situation at hand. Purposely nuzzling into the side of his neck, bussing yourself with the chains dawning his collarbones. The lack of eye contact wasn’t because you were embarrassed it’s because you just really didn’t wanna cry. You came wayyyy too hard your body can’t handle shit else! 

“I know-I know we’ve known this for a while…” There was this really thick lump hammering in your throat that really didn’t want to leave, the stability within your tone was swiftly heading south. Hoseok could hear it too, no matter how muffled you sound, suddenly more kisses were being pressed into your scalp.

“I guess, I was just fucking naive because he was doing soooo damn good earlier in the year ya know? ” Eyes fluttering up to meet his tentatively, your lashes fanning his skin gave that away, and he gazed down instantly. A dry chuckle leaving your throat, shaking your head as if your the butt of your own joke, but didn’t find it funny nor did he find it naive. 

Holding you even tighter, if that was possible…Those big brown eyes of his were soft and so damn fond of you it was actually ridiculous. If only your enemies could see you now, two of the most notoriously cutthroat people in the industry, throwing googly eyes back and forth! Looking like a couple in some cheesy Netflix romcom! Leaning down to press a lingering kiss on your lips, not pulling back until you released the breath that apparently only he knew you were holding. 

 ”Listen to me baby, there’s nothing naive about being hopeful, there’s also no handbook on how to handle your father dying. Even if you know it’s coming sooner than later..doesn't make any of this shit easier...”

“I know but...fuck…” Shifting slightly so your sitting more upright arm propped on the cushion behind his shoulder. “It’s just a lot, because I feel like I can’t fully do my job because if I do, I’ll miss something. Maybe I’ll miss...it, I mean Germany for fuck’s sake! That’s totally something I’d typically go on..instead, I forced y-”

Leaning down to press his lips against yours again, hoping you’d get the hint “In case you forgot..I volunteered, you never asked...you didn’t have too. And my job, for the record, is whatever you need it to be!” There was nothing but fire blazing into your eyes right now, he needed you to feel that, that he’s here for whatever you need..whenever you need it...however you need it! 

“I know, Seok-baby I know, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know” Reaching out to cup his jaw, melting at the way he instantly nuzzled into your palm before giving it a kiss. 

“However, I’m suppose to be in charge, I’m suposed to be in control, and I’m not.. I’m already falling apart and he’s not even gone yet…” That sentence alone had you feeling like you wanted to throw up! “I mean can you fuckin imagine how much of a wreck I’m gonna be?” Hoseok could hear how agitated you were getting so he opted to just stay quiet until he was sure you were done talking…

“Seok, I’m going to fall a fucking part-” You tried to turn your head before the tear rolled down your cheek but you failed, voice breaking off before you could even continue your thought. Hastily whipping your face as if you were mad at yourself for being so emotional right now. Nails daggering into his but he didn’t pull away, he let you be, he’s felt way worse. 

“This empire, his, empire is going to fall, apart, and any legacy my family ever had will  go up in flames! And who’s fucking fault will that be!? Huh? Not my brothers, Nothing’s ever his fault, how the hell does that work out!?” Your voice was hammering so hard in your chest it almost sounds as though your speaking straight into an industrial fan!

“ The one who fucked up everything gets to just ease by like nothing ever happened! Cause lord knows he’s too too damn much of a junkie to even tie his fuckin shoes nevertheless run the family business! It’s not that I didn't want this, I just don’t think I’m ready...nobody asked me if I was ready, my own fuckin brother never even offered to help like-I-fuck!” 

And now your crying again, great, great…..your first instinct was to get up, get away, move, break more shit I don’t know! Just anything, but sitting in this man’s lap, those assassin reflexes though, Hoseok caught your thigh before you could completely ease off the couch. Shifting your weight again, helping you pull out, you were far too gone to even react to the slight sting you should’ve felt. Slamming you back down so your hips were flush against his pelvic bone, holding you so your body hovered over him. You knew the position was so he could look straight through your damn soul but you couldn’t handle that right now….eyes fluttering down to your lap instead. 

“Y/n” No, he needed you to look at him, gently reaching down to cup your tear-stained face, eyes, and nose rivaling a blowfish!  

“And I say again…you don't have to do this alone anymore. I’m here for you, for you my baby, in any, and every way you need. You wanna regroup and brainstorm as to how I can help more let’s do it, if you need me on the field more let’s fuckin do it! Whatever you need to make this easier just tell me .” His pause was intentional holding your gaze, making sure you felt that. Allowing you to search his eyes for any hints of uncertainty that he already knew you’d never find. 

“And if you fall apart guess what!? I’ll be there to help put you back together time, and time again...and this empire will be fine. Stop, stop thinking everyone’s gonna leave you, you’ve been acting as your father’s second in command since you were 19! More importantly, you’ve been running shit with very little delegation for well over a year and if anything this operation flourished. Give yourself more credit, everyone here thinks highly of you, and not because they have too...it’s because your someone worth being admired. Regardless of how dirty our work may be, you and I both know there’s still a way to run this with some heir of dignity! “ 

Reaching up to grab you by the nape of your neck, bringing your forehead down to rest against his own...hoping it would ground you a little “You got this baby..and you got me...I’d burn down the world for you in a second if need be and you know it! Imma get you through this...I promise!”

You let your eyes flutter shut briefly, trying to calm down, you could feel him pressing light kisses against your tear stained cheeks and you couldn't help but smile. Yeah, it was small, definitely did not reach your eyes but it was something...

“I know we aren’t the most honorable people, and he won’t get some fuckin gold plaque like the Mayor when he dies but my dad was a very honorable man for the work he did. And I’ve always tried to do the same, I just..fuck I just want him to be proud of me….I mean at least that.”  Your face hurts you were trying so hard not to cry anymore, a shaky breath ghosting off your lips. 

“He’s already never gonna see me, grow old or walk down the aisle or-.fuck..”  Shit…Hoseok look’s utterlly terried as to where this is going....

“Fuck, he’s never gonna see me walk down the aisle one day” Eyes wide, panicked I guess this was the first time you’d had that thought...the first time you’re really thinking about all the things you’d have to do without him. You've always promised yourself that regardless of how crazy your world is...eventually once you're settled you’d stop denying your heart of its desires! 

Having someone to endlessly love and share this empire with is something you’ve always wanted...and something your father always told you, you deserved and would have one day! 

“Hes nev- holy shit what if I have ki-oh my god.” Every word felt as though it was strangling you, as it hiccups from your chest “ Oh. My. God ” Now this was a lot, this was pain strong enough to split you in half, all the thoughts you’d been avioding suddenly rushed to the surface! 

Your full blown sobbing into the side of his neck … and Hosoek’s heart hurts , fuck it hurts. slouching down into the couch, engulfing your body into his arms which only made you cry even harder. Ya know what makes it even worse? Is that there isn’t a damn thing he can do about this kinda pain. There’s no one he can shoot or stab to make it go away and it’s fucking gut-wrenching, as your body breaks apart above him . 

“Shhh,your okay baby, it’ll be okay….” Even Hoseok didn’t believe that, he didn’t have the slightest idea as to how he was going to get you through losing the first man you ever loved! But fuck if he wasn’t going to try! 

“Listen to me, stop, don’t do that to yourself” Gripping the sides of your face tight enough in his palms to force you ro focus on him and only him. “Let’s get you home alright? Will talk about work and all the other bullshit later you just need-”

“Y/n! Y/n!” 

Who the actual hell...

The sound of someone squawking your name like they’d lost their damn minds had both of you rerouting your attention. Completely shattering the moment causing your body to tense on command. Your brains been wired for so many years to just cut off emotions at the blink of an eye it almost happens on autopilot now! Zoning in on the chaos that appears to be unfolding outside your door and within seconds your pain becomes old news! Which is….just great for your mental health but carry on! 

You could hear your guards all standing outside the door trying to calm whoever this person is with a very clear death wish down. However, they didn’t seem to falter.

“Y/n, open the damn door now! This is serious you can’t just shut me out like this!!” 

But wait, wait, wait, random’s don’t just get acess into the compound so there’s only so many options…

Then, you start to recognize the tenor...and so does Hoseok, and he’s fucking livid. You could literally feel every muscle in his body tense from beneath you. Reaching down to snatch you off his lap, and tucking  himself back into his pants so damn fast you almost got whiplash. If he wasn’t soft before he definitely was now! 

“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” Striding over to your desk to grab your Glock34 from the drawer. 

“I fuckin told him not to come here today...” Growled through gritted teeth, as he reloaded your gun, spinning the barrel. 

Shit.

”Yn! YN! We need to talk about what’s going on with dad!” The slow-motion drawl said it all, he’s high as hell and it’s your fucking brother…

“Ohhh, he wants to talk about your father?!” Tone loud and Exaggeratedly cheerful as they leave his lips sing song esque “Of fucking course he does!” 

“Hoseok-” Yeah, this wasn’t ending well, swiftly readjusting your dress back around your thighs. Though your thighs felt like a damn slinky you still ran over to barricade yourself in front of the door! The door that your brother was still banging on like a fucking idiot!

“Jason. Leave!!!” Praying the distress resonated through the pans of marble, your just now realizing how gone your voice truly is, honestly you don’t even know if he heard you. But for his sake, you hope it did, because it Hoseok gets through this door...

“Nooo,Jason stay!” 

“Hoseok…” Bracing your hand firm against his chest, pushing him away from the door. The warning laced within your tone was clear as all hell, no matter how brittel it was .

“Nah, he wants to talk, let’s fuckin talk! He’s the last thing you need to be worrying about right now, considering he only gives a fuck about you when he’s tapped out of his monthly allowance! What? All of a sudden he cares so deeply about your father?” Brow arched knowingly “ Let him even fix his mouth to say the word “Will” and I will buss a cap so far up his asshole, he’ll cough out all the coke he’s been sniffin’!”

“Y/n, I can have him escorted-”

“One second Spade!” That mans been around since you were in middle school. You know the sound of his voice anywhere, yeah even muffled through a marble wall.

“Comere” Tone dropping to a purr, that you knew wans’t fair but fuck it, no matter how angry he’s on you in seconds, like I said...he can’t deny you anything. 

Leaning forward to wrap your arms around his waist and you can feel how tense his body is initially...yet he still instinctively lets his hands find their home right on the swell of your ass. The edge of the glock resting against your waist…..

 “Baby, I know your angry, and I know that’s mostly because of me, hell I was just chewing him out a second ago. But at the end of the day he is my brother and that is our dad...that’s damn near on a fuckin resperator. I know how to keep him at arms length... I don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. But, I’m gonna open that door, and see what the hell he wants, and I need you, for me...to just chill. If he gets outta line I’ll have him escorted out.”  He physically growled at that, Hoseok would much rather handle this on his own.

Leaning up to card your fingers through his hair, acting as if you didn't even notice his little tantrum “I really need you by my side tonight, and I need you to stay calm,because I’m far from it. Let’s hear him out and if he steps out of lines he’s out.” 

Wrapping his hand around the one you have laced within his hair “You already know I can’t say no to you!” He’s pissed about it too, long gone are the days when he could just do what he pleased regardless of who it affected. 

“But I swear to go Y/n, if and when he steps outta line-fuck-you just better make sure,  your boys are ready to throw his ass out ...because if I do it...he’s gonna end up in the ER for more than just wirthdrawls!”

`__________________________________________________

THAT’S ALLL SHE WROTE FOR NOW…KINDA I ALSO WROTE HALF OF PART TWO, SO IF YOU ENJOYED SHOW THIS SOME LOVE AND COME TALK TO ME! My GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS AS LONG AS SOMETHING GETS AT LEATS 100 LIKES I’LL CONSIDERING ADDING TO IT DOWN THE LINE!

ALSO,  A LITTLE BONUS BECAUSE I DID MAP OUT THE FIRST 4 CHAPTERS BACK WHEN I WROTE THIS...

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It’s clear the OC’s brother will probably/definitely be an issue, in more ways then one! As well as her father is obviously going to die, like, within the first couple of chapters.

Her family’s association is called “Grim” and she’s commonly known as “The princess of the Grim clan”. 

There is a 2nd member set to be introduced in part 2 that will eventually work for the OC...hint it’s a makane! He tries to robe one of their local establishments and well...clearly that probably won’t end too well…

Jin is a mob associate...his family's Forbes ranked multi-million dollar empire was founded with blood money! Sooo, he’s a mutual between “Grim” and “The King Tapian’s”.

3 of the other members are in another association overseas called “The King Tapian’s”. A name she’s heard of, as they have one hell of a rep but they’ve never “officially” crossed paths. That is, until another death within the mob world which brings a new territory on the market! One that her fathers been eying for years over in Europe! (Another hint, they kinda join forces and eventually agree to co-inhabit the area in efforts to shove another “shysterier” gang out, which in turn starts a little war if you will!) The other members would be a sub-focus however It was undecided as to how big of a part they’d all play!

 Lastly, the final member is a freelance hacker/hitman that knows Hoseok very well, so much so the pair used to fool around back in the day so yes that would make him BI! 

I was also undecided if I wanted to incorporate another member sexually or not...as I’d dabbled with the idea of them being in an open relationship! There was also the possibility of making the “King Tapian” Boys lowkey poly! Either solely male on male or maybe throw in the idea of a minor female character who i’d name so there’s no confusion! 

The overall gist of the story was essentially the OC finding her footing after her father dies. Making her own path as one of the only women in charge on the black market! While also creating some allies and gaining of course some enemies along the way! Regardless this would also be a Hoseok centered series with the possibility of semi regular OT7 guest appearances!

  Love you as always,

Rocki,

[clairen45]

Who Let the Dogs out? A story of wolves and dogs in Star Wars

This meta was a long-time coming and prompted by @blacklakeinavalley. I always keep my promises, no matter how long it takes me, so here it goes.

Wolves or Dogs?

There have been some awesome metas on wolves in relation with Rey and Kylo more particularly, notably by resident she-wolf extraordinaire @raven-maiden (I am using the term in the most reverent way possible!). I also plead guilty to a meta I did with parallels between the Company of Wolves movie and the ST. I won’t necessarily go back to all the cool theories that have been made about wolf behaviors in Kylo and Rey, but I will draw the following distinctions, though:

in terms of symbolism, per se, there are not so many differences between wolves and dogs. There are both qualities and flaws associated with these particular animals. The qualities and the flaws are, more often than not, interestingly the same from a certain point of view

Qualities: fertility, sexual desire and power, fidelity/loyalty (to partner, pack, or master), fierceness, intelligence

Flaws: debauchery and savagery.

They are both considered chtonian divinities, that is to say linked with the “underground”, or the realm of death and Hell. Think of Cerberus, for instance, the mythical Hell hound, or Anubis in the Egyptian mythology. Which means that, as a symbol, it means both death and the potential for rebirth. The dog can guide the soul back out of Hell , or guide it through its journey into Hell (something usually called a psychopomp creature) . Dogs and wolves are usually associated with elements such as the moon, fire, and the earth. So, water (the moon is considered a watery element), fire, and earth.

So on the one hand heralds or bringers of death through destruction and carnage, and on the other hand, companions, fierce parents, and bringers of life. Life, death, decay that brings new life, peace, violence etc... Very ambivalent creatures that are either loved and revered, or despised and deemed as impure and dangerous.

If there is no huge distinction between wolves and dogs as far as symbolism goes, I would say there is a big one to draw, though. A dog, after all, is a domesticated wolf. What it gains in familiarity and companionship for mankind, it loses in grandeur and nobility. Also, this 4-legged favorite pet moniker is often used to insult people. A “bitch” is not in itself derogatory: after all, originally it just means a female dog. Yet, it is anything but when you apply it to a woman. Same goes with “dogs”. When you call someone a “dog”, except when you are the Snoop, this is usually not to sing their praises. Note that some people will even go as far as sometimes changing the spelling to avoid confusion: “dawg”... And what about “mongrel”, or “cur”? Dawg be darned, what about “rabid cur” for one?

Die, Jedi dogs!

So, in our beloved Galaxy far far away, this is how dogs find their way into the story and the mythos. On the battle of Geonosis, in ROTS, as C3P0 finds himself -as usual- flustered and confused after a mixing up of his body parts with a battle droid, he utters these very lines.

No wonder that the “dogs” get involved in an insult. Dogs are the persisting attribute of all the "wretched hive of scum and villainy”:

The bounty hunter Bossk and his ship called Hound’s tooth

The bounty hunter Embo and his hound called Marrok

That one has got a really interesting story in itself. The species is called Anooba, and is native of Tatooine, which of course will link straight to Anakin and Luke. The name is also full of possibilities: it probably comes from a medieval tale, the tale of Sir Marrok, who was a werewolf.

The vicious Corellian hound used in Solo by Moloch and his gang. BTW, one of the hound was “played” by one of “GOT’s direwolves” ... Funny thing.

Not to mention THIS famous dog in SW lore:

Oh, yea, this is happening. Because, ANH called it right away when Leia served this line to Tarkin about her papa:

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash.

As mighty as the Dark Lord has become in the SW universe and collective psyche, this awesome and powerful villain is presented as nothing more but a dog. Maybe not quite the poodle, but still a dog. Obedient, trained, who will bite only when his master commands. Gives the word “MASTER” quite another meaning, not just as an apprentice, but literally as seen from a dog’s perspective.

So, no surprise then to see the term re-employed by Snoke to talk about Hux, when he calls him a rabid cur in TLJ. Interesting also that the one using a reference to being “tied at the end of a string”, aka a leash, is also Hux, the rabid cur. Except, that, well, there is indeed an implicit distinction to make. Kylo is also, in many respects, as much a dog to Snoke’s bidding as Hux. Many viewers would even expect Snoke to call Kylo the rabid cur instead, given the tantrums we were privy to in TFA. But he doesn’t call him a rabid cur, and that’s the whole point. In Snoke’s mind, there is nothing rabid about Kylo -though people would have assumed as much- and he is certainly not a cur. A cur, after all, like a mongrel is clearly used to define a mixed breed. The term “rabid cur” is derogatory on two levels.

When referring to Kylo, Snoke is a bit more complicated. There is, on the one hand, the idea that, contrary to Hux, Kylo is valued as “pure breed”, a prized possession cultivated for “the potential of his bloodline”. Purity of blood (damn you midichlorians) being also alluded to, and mocked, by Luke when he talks to Rey about his failure to be a master to Kylo. Yet, at the same time, Snoke keeps on chastising Kylo for being a fraud. He is not the pure breed he expected. He has the feeling he got a mongrel that was tainted by the Solo blood. Hence the insistance of erasing Han Solo of the picture and denying him and his legacy. Yep, Ben Organa Solo is a mixed breed. Snoke wants a pure breed, maybe even a wolf. Pure blood. Untainted, untampered with. Leader of the pack. Well, that’s the project. A wolf and no lapdog.

Or not... Because, this is a little something I found on The astroly Web about the wolf and symbolism, and I will say it is quite interesting:

What I love about this portrait of Kylo as a wolf is that you get some of Kylo and some of what he could have been as Ben Solo. Some of the qualities remain, such as the sense of mystery, exuberance, instinctive and shrewdness. But most of it has been ironically ruined by his lack of self confidence. So as a wolf, he is not complete. The compassion bit really got me because it is the one thing that Snoke reproaches him with... Is he a wolf, or a dog in wolf’s clothing? Or a dog that dreams of being a wolf? Half and half, mayhaps?

Good dog! a rehabilitation

So are there any positive references to dogs in SW yet? Yep.

Anyways, dogs have always been part of the Star Wars mythos, altough not necessarily the obvious way. Take Chewbacca for instance. There would not be Chewbacca as we know him had it not been for George Lucas’s faithful pet, Indiana (who can also be thanked for giving the famous adventurer his moniker). Allegedly, Lucas got the inspiration for Chewie, Han’s copilot, when seeing his wife leave on her car with their huge dog on the copilot seat.

Funny thing is no dog played any part in Chewie’s distinctive sounds, which turn out to be recordings from a bear,a walrus, a badger, a lion, and a seal. The fact remains that Chewie exemplifies the dog’s most praised qualities throughout the saga: as a staunch and loyal friend, as a source of love and comfort (the famous Chewie hugs), and as a protector. Yes, just like dogs, Chewie can be fierce and defend his friends.

You could also argue that there are other examples of companions who exemplify the same doglike qualities in the movies. Droids such as R2D2 and BB8 just fit the model. Loyalty, check; defense, check; huggable, check. The perfect pets and companions. It says a lot that Chewie and R2 are the characters that have endured the longest in the general scope of the saga: R2 appearing in episode 1, and Chewie in episode 3, which make them the only ones that have recurring roles in the three trilogies (Chewie also scores Solo and R2 Rogue One).

There is a subversion of “dogs” as an insult that is quite interesting in the ST. Maybe it starts from this “Die Jedi dogs”, which is quite an oxymoron: the one time it is used as an insult it is to the people that are normally the golden moral standard, and also uttered by someone who is always all too polite and all too diplomatic. Also also, it is not totally incorrect as you could view the Jedi as the guard dogs of the Republic...

But wait, all that was before the ST. In the ST we get brand new examples of dogs and doglike behavior to ponder. Take Rey, for instance. Sitting there, loyally, on Jakku, waiting for her parents to return, a behavior not so different from the countless examples of dogs keeping watch on their dead masters’ graves (like that little famous Scottish from Edinburgh, Greyfriar’s Bobby, who even got his statue to commemorate). After all, this is exactly Rey’s place: Jakku is pictured as a graveyard, a place that is described literally in the novelization as where “technology came to die”. And where does she make a house for herself? As @blacklakeinavalley pointed it out to me in her original ask, in an AT-AT walker which is called non the less: the Hellhound!!!! 

Seriously, like, of all the stupidest dumb names this is the one they picked! An appropriate one, to boot, since the At-AT has always had that distinctive look that made it look like a dog... And I have always been intrigued by this particular rendering with a little girl holding an At-At on a leash...

So, yes, the dog. Here really the corpse of a hound. But symbolism is not lost here... Death that feeds off new life, reborn out of hell... And who could this hellhound be, pray? Well, it gets even better when you know that this particular Hellhound was part of a ship called the Interrogator... Interrogator, mind you, and not something as dreadful as, say, an inquisitor. No, the Interrogator is quite a good one because who is the interrogator since the beginning of TFA? Ummm? Who else but our boy who “interrogates” Lor San Tekka, and Poe, and well... eventually Rey. Rey makes a home for herself there. It’s like Kylo is her home already... ain’t it cute...Also, Kylo as a dog, a “hellhound” is a good one as his job at the beginning is somehow to “hunt down” Luke, sniff his trace throughout the galaxy if you will, and then fetch the information back to Snoke. Good boy Kylo eventually fetches quite another prey... Even though again, Kylo seems more like the wolf at the begining of the story to Rey the dog... Look at the symbolism of the dog from The Astrology Web

Adventure, patience, hardworking!!!! You need to spend more time with your family!!!!!

There was yet another girl that exhibited some interesting doglike behavior in the ST, in a positive way. Unfortunately the scene got cut out. But when Rose bites the finger of Hux on the Supremacy as he mocks her and her system, this is an interesting one. Dog fight, right? What better way to get back at the rabid cur than bite him back?

Wolves will show the way

And then there are wolves in SW Rebels. When I did a piece on birds in SW, I mentioned the convor but as I hadn’t watched any of the Clone Wars or SW Rebels episodes yet, so I had no idea how truly symbolic these specific creatures could be. Careful not to make the same mistake again, and time to tie it in. Wolves (and thus in a way dogs) play quite an important part in these two series. Time to focus on Mortis then, and the World between worlds, introduced to us in SW Rebels. I think it is obvious that this is a very important addition to the SW universe. How they will eventually exploit it in ix is hard to say, yet, but the possibilities are huge in the expanded universe that Disney is preparing between the new shows and comics, and possibly future movies.

Ok, so, I don’t want to get too much into a detailed explanation (too long and complicated and some have done a good job on that already), but, as a reminder, Mortis is introduced in season 3 of Clone Wars to Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as a mythical/mystical realm of the Force, dominated by three figures: the Father (the balance), the daughter (the light side), and the son (the dark side). Cool thing, even though we don’t get the convor and the wolf but rather a griffin and a bat, there is a moment when a wolf is plainly visible on the right next to the father:

And then, years later, comes SW Rebels. And so we get Ahsoka followed by a convor, which turns out to be the totem spirit of the daughter. Birds are therefore linked with the light side of the Force, the Eros, the life force, the one that points to protection and life. Which is really the whole point I made in my bird meta anyways (especially with porgs). So one would naturally assume that the wolf, as the creature associated with  the son, the dark side of the Force, represents death, Thanatos, the impulse for destruction, the symbolic triad of the Force being the convor, the snake, and the wolf as depicted on the mural uncovered in SW Rebels in quite an Indiana Jonesque formula (evil guy covets mystical artefact that will give him superhuman powers):

But then, there is more than meets the eye... Because the wolves we actually get in the SW universe are not pictured as merely destructive powers. Quite the opposite. In SW Rebels, the wolves give access to a portal, the world between worlds, with a potential to alter past, present, and future. They truly are psychopomp creatures that guide a lost soul (here Ezra) through a world that can be at best described as a vacuum...

And there are the other wolves to reckon with.

Wolffe, the clone trooper commander, linked to Ahsoka and Anakin, one of the few who refused to be part of the code 66 protocol and became rogue, the one who lost an eye (a very symbolic type of mutilation), and lives like Rey in a modified AT-AT. which thus makes Wolffe a link of continuity between the different generations and arcs within the SW universe and saga.

The Loth-Wolves which are featured on the mural of Mortis and frame the portal to the world between worlds. Loth wolves have the ability to communicate with humans, are strongly connected with the Force, and seem to become a vessel for the soul of Kanan Jarrus after his death. Again, the psychopomp.

What to make of it eventually... well... it all depends on what type of creatures we get in IX. Keep you eyes peeled out for birds, wolves, and dogs. But mostly keep your eyes open for Porgs. Always.

To conclude, for your appreciation, this is from a photoshoot Daisy Ridley did for Vogue in 2017 .... The girl that walks with wolves... one black, one white, no less..

[bakugou-tm]

Oh my god your requests are open ! May I request a angsty then fluffy scenario where Bakugou's S/O has been kidnapped and hurted by some vilains, and has been put into an artificial coma. She wakes up after 2 weeks. What would be Bakugou's reaction ? Btw, I love your writing so much, thank you for all your work ! (And sorry for my English)

Your head was ringing, the last thing you remembered was walking home from school. Bakugou was going to walk you home but he got caught up with training and…

Bakugou!

Lifting your head quickly you looked around only to be chained up to a wall, the room cold and dark that you were put in. Suddenly it was all coming back to you.

You had been mugged, you weren’t sure by who. Whoever they were, they were able to temporarily disable your quirk. Before you could even call for help they had knocked you out, the last words out of your mouth was your boyfriend’s name.

Now as your senses slowly began to come back to you, you realized there were people in the room with you. Two to be exact.

“You think that shitty boy is gonna come to get her?” One of the men asked followed by a sinister scoff.

“Please, her whole damn class is gonna come after her. Once we get them here we’ll capture those rotten brats and send em to the boss. We’ll be filthy rich!”

Capture your classmates? This couldn’t happen, you wished they wouldn’t come after you but you knew they would. You had to stop these guys and quick.

Sitting up as quickly as you could, suddenly a sharp cry escaped your lips before you fell back to the ground. Why the hell did your side hurt so bad? And why was your head still pounding as if someone was beating it with a hammer?

Looking down it was when you noticed your body was covered with purple bruises, your school uniform torn up with a few drops of blood here and there.

“Ahh you woke up just in time princess,” A man hissed, moving your attention back to the men who were standing before you now, “Your knight in shining armor took the bait.”

With wide eyes you sat up, tugging against the chains while fighting against the chains to attack the men, “You leave them alone you assholes!”

Surprisingly you were able to head butt one of the men, knocking him back into one of the metal rods. But this was only for the other man to grab you by the neck and slam you back into the wall, the sound of your skull cracking against the cement echoing throughout the hollow room.

“Now stay down you damn bitch…” The man hissed watching as your body immediately fell to the floor unconscious, “I should’ve known that explosion boy would’ve picked an annoying brat.”

While the two men recovered from the recent events, they didn’t have time to open their mouths until a loud explosion came from behind them, knocking their bodies against the wall you were laying against.

“Where the fuck is she?!” A familiar voice growled, three tall figures storming into the room after the ash blond.

Both men looked up with wide eyes, not expecting him to literally enter through the side of the building.

“You go take the girl to the truck, I’ll handle these guys.” One of the men hissed, standing up ready to fight the four teens until his a cool jagged ice began to wrap around his legs keeping him locked in place, “W..What the-”

“Get your fucking hands off her you bastard!” Bakugou shouted, lighting an explosion in front of the man’s face to stunt him before swinging his other gauntlet against the man’s skull, rendering him unconscious.

In the background your friends could be heard making a plan on what to do with the villains, but all Bakugou saw was your bloodied form against the floor.

“(S/o) no..” The ash blond croaked, scooping your limp form up as he grit his teeth, “What the hell did they do to you… c’mon wake the fuck up.”

With no response from you Bakugou could only shake you desperately, crying out your name in hopes you would wake up only for paramedics to take you away. Leaving the wild boy to be held back by his friends while he watched your form disappear.

-two weeks later-

Two weeks. Two whole weeks Bakugou had gone without hearing your soft voice. Two weeks since he saw that bright smile of yours. Two weeks of sitting in the hospital day in and day out whenever he wasn’t in class.

Two weeks of pure misery.

Everyone told him to stop coming, to stop having hope that you would come back. After the first week even the doctor’s tried to tell him you were too deep in a coma to come back, only a miracle would bring you back to Earth.

Even then, Bakugou ignored their advice and came every day. Just to get a glimpse at your calm face, hoping you were just resting. People need to recover right? Two weeks wasn’t that long… right?

Somberly the ash blond stumbled into the hotel, waiting for the elevator doors to open to your floor so he could visit you once more. The hope he had been storing up these past few weeks was slowly draining, pure guilt and anger filling in for the absent hope.

He should’ve been there, he should’ve walked you home, he should’ve been able to protect you. He was too busy training selfishly while you were kidnapped and tortured. If only he had not been such an arrogant asshole he could’ve saved you… You would be-

“She’s alive!”

Letting out a grunt the ash blond flinched when the elevator door’s opened, seeing a load of nurses and doctors running around quickly. All of their voices over-lapping with different words.

Quickly he ran down to your room, wondering if the news was truly real. Slamming against the door he was welcomed with multiple doctors at your bed side, your vitals once again beating rapidly while they swarmed your bedside.

“Sweetie I’m going to need you to calm down alright? Everything is fine.” One nurse cooed, her hand resting against your forehead while tears streamed down your face.

You weren’t sure what was going on, or who all these people were but you felt as if your heart was going to explode. Everything was just so overwhelming and you only had one person on your mind who could make it better and…

“P..Please get away from me! I just wanna see Katsuki!”

The ash blond’s eyes suddenly widened upon hearing his name. As if it was the wake up call he needed, he suddenly shoved the doctors aside, ignoring their sharp cries before kneeling at your bedside.

“(S/o) I’m here! I’m here, I’m right fucking here.” Bakugou repeated, taking your hand into his own while looking up to your (e/c) orbs.

Blinking for a second you looked down to the boy before your brain snapped into realization, fresh tears already coming down your face while you hugged onto the boy tightly. Bakugou wasted no time to wrap his muscular arms around your form, squeezing onto the hospital dress you had draped around you.

“K..Katsuki you’re here! I missed you so much I thought I was d..dead, I thought I would never s..see you again… I was s..so terrified!” 

The ash blond cringed at your quivering voice, every so often a hiccup escaping your lips while you gripped onto him with all the energy you had.

“You’re fine now (s/o), you’re safe here.” Bakugou whispered softly, sitting on the edge of the bed to let you lean into his arms. 

It was clear the doctor’s were still on edge about the whole scene, no outsiders being aloud into the room at the time. But upon seeing you calm down they all collectively decided it was for the best, giving you two privacy for a few minutes.

After about ten minutes of Bakugou whispering calming words into your ear while combing his finger’s through your (h/c) locks you began to calm down, letting your once tense form fall limp into your boyfriend’s arms.

“(S/o) I am so fucking sorry… I was an idiot and let you slip away,” Bakugou mumbled softly, breaking the silence while looking down to you, “I should’ve been there to protect you and I wasn’t.”

Sniffing quietly you looked up to your boyfriend, frowning upon seeing his guilty expression while he shifted his eyes away from your gaze.

“Don’t you dare apologize Katsuki, this wasn’t your fault.” You whispered, letting your palm softly rub against his cheek bringing his eyes back down on you, “I should’ve been able to protect myself, and I bet I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

The ash blond let out a huff, averting his gaze again before you forced his head back in your direction, a small smile appearing on your chapped lips, “I’m alive because of you Katsuki.”

Bakugou froze for a moment at your words, his teeth gritting at your soft forgiving expression before holding your body close up against him, placing a kiss on top of your forehead, “And I’m never gonna fucking let you slip away again.”

He didn’t care if he had to stay here all day, all night, all year. Until you felt safe in his arms, he would stay with you for as long as it took. One thing was for sure…

he was never leaving your side ever again.

[ryouverua]

Panic! At the Killing Game

Starting off with a bang, I see.

PEW PEW PEW

also, holy shit K1-b0 that escalated quickly

Have we, uh, just not noticed the fact that K1-b0 flying around the school like the most violent firefly in existence?

“Look! It’s the DRV3 budget!!!”

NO SERIOUSLY WHAT PROPORTION OF THE BUDGET WENT TO THIS I NEED TO KNOW -

How powerful are his lasers and why did it take you this long to use them?! I thought you weren’t stronger than a senior citizen!!!

SCI-FI GENRE HIMIKO, YOU’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

Has he fired anywhere near you guys or is he at least firing everywhere besides that general area?

They were doing this out in the grassy area near the gazebo, right? So he can see them and is avoiding them? Maybe?? .... I hope?!

 DO YOU HAVE BAZOOKAS IN THOSE ARMS TOO OR SOMETHING HOW POWERFUL IS THAT DAMN LASER ARM OF YOURS

I can’t decide whether Kokichi would be excited or terrified if he was here to see this.

here he comes, here comes speedracer

Red eyes take warning!!! Though, erm, I feel like K1-b0 might win the fight between you two if it came down to it - just saying. 8′D Unless you’re willing to fight to protect again....?

Some artist had the time of their life rendering K1-b0. Also has Shuichi always been this tall??? Or is - wait, Maki is only 5′4? K1-b0 is 5′3?! WHY IS EVERYONE LEFT ASIDE FROM TSUMUGI AND SHUICHI SO SMALL

I MEAN. OKAY. But could you give us a bit of a heads-up first?! We’re still flesh-and-blood people who could easily get hurt from th - wait why are you aiming that laser at me -

WAIT SERIOUSLY IT WAS ALL IN THERE?! JUST LAYING AROUND?! JUST FUCKING... THERE?!

I cannot believe Miu didn’t try to sneak some mods in while she was doing maintenance and upgrading the other parts of you. Though now that I think about it, maybe... she did do the upgrades? And K1-b0 knew about them, but just never used them before this before his antenna or ahoge or w/e got knocked off? look at me blatantly ignoring him saying he got this from his lab lmao

Oh??? Really??? Did you??? I COULDN’T TELL.

MY GOD IT WAS OUR FAULT ALL ALONG. THE RAMPANT ROBOPHOBIA. WE FINALLY PUSHED HIM OVER THE EDGE.

Oh holy fuck, okay, there it is.

“Is this because I took so long to do your FTEs? Because I never got your underwear in time? Because I’ll be more than happy to finish it now! Hell, give me your underwear right now and just skip the formalities entirely!”

“You did Korekiyo’s FTEs before mine, Shuichi! You completed his before mine!”

Are the concepts of ‘no murder’ and ‘explosions’ not mutually exclusive, K1-b0?!

“AND IN THIS FRIENDSHIP SPEECH LACED WITH ENOUGH MENTIONS OF ‘HOPE’ TO QUALIFY IT FOR THE DANGANRONPA ENDGAME, I WILL -”

“So therefore, mass suicide. You’re welcome.”

Honestly, how many people have attempted to kill everyone now in their own way? Kirumi may have killed to escape, but she pushed forward and attempted to cause a riot which was actively trying to get them all killed in her place. Kokichi and Gonta had their trial in 4 and now, fresh off of Maki killing everyone in his effort to take Kokichi down, we’ve got K1-b0. 5/16 people took direct actions to take the entire class out! 5/16! And I mean, that’s outside of the mastermind, so could very well be 6/16!

THIS ENTIRE CLASS NEEDS - WELL, NEEDED - SERIOUS THERAPY

“Yup. Bye.”

- pew -

Ooh, and it looks like the usual arguments aren’t working - like the classic ‘the classmates died so we need to live for their sake’ line.

OKAY K1-B0 CAN YOU DEFINE DESPAIR FOR ME OR IS THIS SOME KIND OF KOMAEDA 2.0 AWAKENING RIGHT NOW

the game tried to pretend Rantaro Kokichi was the Komaeda expy but it was me, K1-b0, the whole time!

“Also I got a new hairdo, but that of course is an entirely different subject. Btw do you like it? I know it was hard to see when I was shooting indiscriminately earlier.”

CAN SOMEONE FIGURE OUT WHERE THAT PIECE OF HAIR WENT ASAP

AGAIN CAN YOU PLEASE DEFINE WHAT ‘DESPAIR’ MEANS TO YOU?!

Anyway Shuichi still has Kaito’s wind in his sails because he is not willing to back down on this. Are you watching, Kaito? 8′)

LMAO YOU, UH, REALLY ARE GETTING HEAVILY INSPIRED BY KAITO, HUH.

Not that we’re going to name anyone in particu -

Shuichi.

Simulation??? Still survivors on earth??? Watching simulated personalities interact with each other as a trial run for the real thing???

.... I know the setting is practically solidified as sci-fi sorry Himiko but man there’s a part of me that wishes I could extrapolate the supernatural theme from Chapter 3 to the overall mystery of the game and apply it to a theory here. 8′D sorry that’s my own taste shining through

“IF YOU CAN USE THE ‘D’ WORD AS A WEAPON, I CAN USE THE ‘H’ WORD AS MINE!”

So that’s what we’re going to do this chapter? That’s good at least - I don’t think we can afford to let our numbers dwindle any more at this point. 8′D

OH HE’S THINKING ABOUT IT

Well, K1-b0 was one of the people who respected Shuichi’s title the most during most of the game outside of Kaede, Kokichi and Kaito. It does make sense for this argument to work better than the other ones.

Yeah, we’d have a difficult time progressing if you didn’t let us -

.... uh. What.

WHELP. HE’S HERE.

ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING THROWDOWN RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW -

well shit he’s not exactly wrong

DAMN K1-B0, DAMN!!!

Do the others just not notice that huge chunk of hair missing??? I mean I guess no one commented on Shuichi’s lack-of-hat hair so maybe it’s not as noticeable in the game as it is to me outside of it. >>

“I AM LITERALLY GOING TO EXACT MY REVENGE ON EVERY PERSON WHO HAS EVEN LOOKED AT ME IN A MILDLY ROBOPHOBIC WAY!”

This is so brazen that I couldn’t bring myself to delete the cap but I FEEL VIOLATED ALL THE SAME

K1-b0 are you seriously going to go 1 v 5 against them?! .... I say that despite the fact that he was literally blowing up the school five minutes ago with giant-ass lasers and rocket-boosted flight. Hm. What are those on the exisals, machine guns? I guess depending on how sturdy the rest of his body is (CONSIDERING HIS HAIR GOT KNOCKED OFF BY FLYING DEBRIS) he might be okay. ... Or maybe he’ll just have to not get hit. Yeah, he’ll probably rely on agility then, huh.

There, at least now Sweetcheeks is showing extra concern for K1-b0. 8′D

K1-B0 YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING DIE WE LITERALLY HAVE ONLY 5 PEOPLE LEFT AND A TRIAL STILL TO GO

nice marvel reference

NGL I really like the pictures and the 3D rendering of K1-b0. Some anime-style games can have some issues translating the art style to 3d rendering but they really did a good job.

...............

thank god komaeda never had a gun.

........ Oh wait he totally did in that final dead room, didn’t he?

...............

thank god komaeda never had a giant laser gun

PEW! PEW PEW PEW!

SO HOW EXACTLY ARE WE GOING TO INVESTIGATE WITH K1-B0 LITERALLY DESTROYING THE EVIDENCE AROUND US -

Oh okay we’re just not going to. GG everyone!

[catsnuggler]

@gjavavont we really should talk sometime, btw. I often see you in my notes, but haven't taken the time to talk to you yet, and that's rather unfortunate. Anyway, I remembered that you invited me to answer the other apostate questions if I felt like it, and, well, I think I'd like to, actually, so here they are.

I'm going to put this under a cut because the answer to the first question, in particular, is incredibly long. Like. You would not believe how fucking long it is. You would either think I just think angels and demons are neat, or that I don't really care. Nope.

Tw for mention of limb loss. And very, very mild NSFW. Plus discussion of religious trauma syndrome (RTS).

7. Do you like angels or demons?

I do! And, actually... I've wanted to be a writer for years, but have yet to write a page for my ideas. Most of my writing ideas regard ancient history, particularly "barbarian" peoples resisting Roman domination, or perhaps those who already threw off the Romans throwing off a local tyrant. However, relevant to this question, I've had, for years, the idea to write a book about a fallen archangel.

The basic premise would be somewhat similar to the basic premise of Mormonism: there's a war in Heaven before the Earth is populated, where God represents choice (but only the choice to follow him will result in salvation), and Lucifer, later Satan, represents the salvation of all, but with no choice to deviate from his will (in the sense that it would be impossible to do so, not in the sense that you could but would be punished for it; like you're a drone and can't think for yourself).

Here's where it deviates: I don't think, if I remember correctly, that Mormons believe in archangels? And they don't really believe in fallen angels the way some Christians do. Plus, the Mormons don't believe the war in heaven, which they believe happened before mortal life, was a literal war, but that souls simply chose to follow God or Satan, and those who followed the latter were cast down to "Outer Darkness" (Mormon Hell, basically). Unlike Mormonism, my story would have that war be an actual war. Spirits would only be functionally immortal, impervious to mortal weapons, but able to be killed by spiritual/holy weapons. And the main character, again, would be a fallen archangel.

I don't know what his name would be, but he would be a fallen archangel who resisted both God and Satan. He'd recognize that to have choice only to be confined to a certain, narrow range of choices, lest you be punished for not falling strictly in line, is not really choice at all, so if that's good, if that's light, then he is opposed to the light. Likewise, he rejects outright the proposal to give up all choice whatsoever and succumb to domination, thus he refuses the... urgh, I want to say "darkness" because I'm just thinking in terms of sunlight vs shadows, of open truth/"truth" vs cloak-and-dagger-in-the-night deception, but the terms "light" and "dark", "white" and "black", are racially-charged. That's one of my most major problems. And my idea for his true archangel form is that he is black on one side, and white on the other, with a black eye on his white side and a white eye on his black side, so like, not arguing against scrapping that if that's what I have to do, just saying I would also have to scrap that if I scrap the use of the terms "black" and "white" to refer to Satan's and God's respective sides.

I'd choose to go with God being one personage for the story. Supporting Trinitarianism, with God just being called different things when he does different things, would make the story a lot easier to write.

So, basically being an anarchist, who is alienated from his family because he can't choose either dominionist side, yet is pained by his love for them, and his desire for them to stop their conflict and to choose peace and freedom; and being cast down for rebelling against God, but also thankfully separated from Satan, he spends his days wandering the earth as an immortal, disguised as a mortal. I don't know what his skin color would be, although if he's been on the earth ever since modern humans were on the earth some 300-odd thousand years ago, I'd say his skin would have to be dark to some extent, possibly Black, because he wanted to/had to blend in. He changes his appearance on occasion to further disguise himself, but usually stays with the original appearance he chose. His eyes would be golden, and would glow under certain circumstances.

Let me be clear, his skin color would be his choice, but would not be a curse. Fuck that racist Mormon bs. God does agree with, and even mildly order him to be dark-skinned, anyway, in the story, but that's only because the first humans are dark-skinned and God wants him to blend in. As terms of surrender after God won the war, God ordered that those who lost would tempt people, to test them in accordance with his will, and the best way to be able to do that would be to not stick out like a sore thumb. So if nobody had white skin until between 20k-50k years ago, that would be suspicious, wouldn't it? But the skin color thing is not a punishment, not a curse, no way to that racism.

Back to the fallen archangel's character, rather than appearance, he spends hundreds of thousands of years in exile on Earth, traveling, learning from humans, but largely keeping to himself. He has hidden enclaves, libraries, across the world. Rumors of immortal individuals, such as the Comte de Saint-Germaine and Nicolas Flamel, are inspired by him. He is forced to see humanity commit cruelty upon cruelty against itself, and to not lift a finger to stop it, only to cajole, as God decrees that there must be cruelty within the world for people to ever learn, become purified, and worship him; cruelty which, though required by God, is largely caused by Satan, who knows he's doing work for God, but is sated by the fact that he is nonetheless denying more souls to God and causing suffering for his children. The fallen archangel is mentally ill from witnessing death for as long as he has, only being allowed to do what a mortal can to save others. He keeps himself distant, consequently, because it hurts less when he doesn't know the people who die. Or so he tells himself.

Eventually, by the 2000's CE, the seven seals - now I'm borrowing from more traditional christianity and legend - are broken, and the end times are upon the Earth. A final great war between God, his angels, and his followers, versus Satan, his demons/fallen angels, and his followers, will commence for years. Satan has become a lot more powerful since his battle with God long, long ago. The forces of each are about evenly matched, but Satan's forces are ultimately stronger.

Back to the beginning of the end times, the fallen archangel already knows exactly what's happening. God and Satan both try to bring him in, to turn the tide in their favor. He refuses. They both try to assassinate him, destroying his sanctuaries, and they fail. He has to run, and finds himself in a conflict he wanted to avoid, as he in fact wanted to avoid conflict all of his existence. But since God and Satan are fighting, and Satan is more powerful than God thought, the fallen archangel can finally be himself. He can finally rise, finally fight, though he wished it didn't come to that. Finally, he may have a chance to end the conflict, and end it right. If he can, he'll do anything to bring peace and freedom, true freedom, to the universe.

I don't know what would happen from there, save that he'd have a force that would neither be as strong as God's, nor Satan's, but would still be a force to reckon with. He'd have to wait for the right moment to strike - then the final battle happens. His troops lie in wait, til one of the stronger contenders has nearly bested the other - then they strike.

The fallen archangel, covered in the blood of mortals and immortals alike, sweating and exhausted, every divine and unholy muscle in his body strained, fights through the hosts to face the enemy generals. He finds God, largely beaten up by Satan, about to be killed. The fallen archangel has a traumatic relationship, as previously mentioned, with the both of them, but he loves them, and he loves his father. He can see that Satan long since lost his genuine desire to protect his family, and that God still does have his own genuine desire, it's just that his method is entirely wrong, his structure is entirely wrong. He wants God to stop. He wants Satan to stop. He wants the bloodshed to end.

Instead, Satan kills God. Stabs him in the chest. God whimpers "Lucifer..."and falls to the ground, but his head is caught and propped up by the fallen archangel. God gives him some last words of love and apology, but is unable to finish his sentence before he breathes the last of what would otherwise have been his eternal, unending breath.

Satan laughs, and mocks God and the archangel alike, after the archangel has wept for a brief moment. The archangel is overwhelmed - he is filled with grief, hatred, and love. He loves Lucifer, but not Satan. And he loved God. He had to take him down, but he loved him. He is filled with a burning need for vengeance, causing his transformation into his true fallen archangelic form. He slowly stands, and as he does, the tears rolling down his cheeks turn to blood; then, he is engulfed in flames, explosive in their brilliance yet rendering the light out of one's vision from the sight; and then his form slowly emerges as the flames dissipate, all while he still rises. His left side, white, with a pure black eyelid, crying pure black tears, his left wing looks like a bat-wing but pure white, the ivory-shade sword is magnificent and sleek; his right side is black, his right eyelid is white and crying pure white tears, his right wing is obsidian-black, and like the wing of an eagle, its feathers sleek, his blade is pure black and looks nearly to itself be made of obsidian with how jagged it is, roughly serrated in places. His swords are of equivalent length and heft. His gaze was downcast when he was on the ground, but his face slowly turned upward as he rose, a grim, determined, closed-eyed look of concentration emerging from the pitiful expression he had before, though the tears remain, as described. He begins to rise above the ground after standing, flying while his wings slowly, majestically flap. And then he opens his eyes, his expression becoming more furious as his eyes, his right eye pure white and his left eye pure black, flash open, immediately followed by him unsheathing his blades - his left arm grabbing the right, his right arm, over his left arm, grabbing the left - in a split second. Satan laughs, transforms into his (stereotypically red, goat-like, with wings) form, taunts him as he pulls out his blades, inviting him to attack, which the archangel accepts as he launches himself swiftly at Satan.

Their battle is intense, destroying the broken structures around them as they fight, each strike of blade on blade can be heard for miles, from the most grating steely sheen-shriek of blades sliding against each other, to supersonic booms when the flats of the blades hit each other head-on.

They're evenly-matched, evenly attacking and blocking each other's attacks, but then Satan lands a blow. The blow isn't fatal, but is grievously painful. The fallen archangel has an instant realization after feeling the pain - this isn't just about his vengeance. It can't just be about his vengeance. It isn't just about him. It isn't just about his loss. If he dies - no. Whether he dies or not, if Satan wins, the universe trades one slavery for another. He can't allow this. God must be avenged, yes, though his cause was wrong; and Satan must pay for what he has done, even though God had to be stopped anyway, and he is still the fallen archangel's brother; but more so, more importantly than anything, the fallen archangel must prevail, even if he isn't there to see it, for the freedom of all. He is, at once, encompassed with a divine, pure sense of justice, a sense of justice that does not necessarily require his own death, but which he will fulfill even if it comes to that.

In the instance that he is filled with this divine purpose, a blinding white emit explodes from him, as well as a shock wave which sends Satan back to land hard against a wall. When Satan opens his eyes, he sees the archangel in what appears to be his mortal guise, but with a near-blinding white light emanating from him, gold-yellow light shining from his eyes to the point you can't see his irises, and blue-white flames emanating from twin sabers, both held low and painting down and behind the being that was once a fallen archangel, but who has transformed into a god. A healed scar is visible from where he was cut by Satan. A look of impending judgment from this new god stares deep into Satan's eyes.

Satan is horrified. He knows he can't win now. He knows he is going to die if he continues fighting. He knows he has to escape. He knows how unlikely it is that he will.

The new god charges forth, raining unending and lightning-quick strikes at Satan, who is only barely able to block the blows as he looks on, unblinkingly, in sheer terror at his adversary. Satan is backed further and further as he blocks attack after attack after attack, his mind screaming to find an escape but unable to find one as he is backed toward a pillar. Finally, his back hits the pillar after he blocks a blow, which surprises him just long enough for one of his blades to be hit out of his hand and flying into a wall, shocking him for another split second long enough for his right hand, holding his other blade, to be sliced off. He falls against the pillar, holding the stump on his right arm, opens his mouth in pain, and faintly hears a low, bloodcurdling scream, not knowing if it's his own, as his nerves are overwhelmed with pain, and his ears were already pounding from rapid blood flow caused by the intensity of the fight.

The new god swiftly finishes him off, with wide but well-practiced and swift swings, the first lifting him up off the ground, his body sliding off the blade, as the second slices him again on the torso as his body hits the ground. Two more slices, in an x-pattern, are delivered on the torso, followed by twin stabs pinning him to the earth. His eyes quiver, then freeze, going pale.

I mainly thought of the final fight of the story, tbh, before coming up with the rest, after listening to the song Archangel, by Two Steps from Hell. The fight details just came to me, vividly. The rest is concocted from various Christian myths I've heard over the years, and, I suspect, no small amount of my personal traumatic emotional issues.

I like the concepts of angels and demons generally, though I mostly want to avoid Christianity altogether. However, if I were to write this, and if, somehow, this were to become popular - unlikely, I know, but can't a man dream? - that would be incredible and hilarious to me. Especially if I write under a pen name and leave my author background vague, only mentioning I "was raised in a Christian background". It would be entertaining to me to hear pastors, bishops and the like, as well as Christian laypeople, arguing about my book, were I to even put a page to it, let alone finish, edit, and successfully publish it, calling it blasphemous and anyone who reads it a heretic vs defending enjoying it as a work of fiction and nothing more. Meanwhile, my pagan self would be laughing my ass off at the whole debacle, as it's an apostate, not a heretic, who would have written it.

8. What gives you purpose?

Oof. This one is tough, but should - in the sense of not making this post more needlessly long than it already is - hopefully be much shorter? If we're talking not just in the grand scheme of things, but what keeps me above-ground, which I'll just assume to be the case, it'll be slightly longer. Not too long, though.

I'll just make a bullet list:

I want to know true, romantic love. I've had dependency issues due to my background, which is one of the major factors in why my romantic relationships have always ended badly. I felt deeply attached to each of my partners, but in retrospect, I'm pretty sure that's dependency, not love.

I haven't... quite fucked somebody. It's rather complex. What it boils down to is 1) the actions themselves were sexual, but I don't feel they truly count as sex in my case, or else why would I still feel apprehensive and unfulfilled like a "virgin", for whatever worth that concept has? And 2), the person I was with was... in a few ways, they didn't yet know who they were, to the point that the person I was with, in a manner of speaking, didn't really exist (this person is flesh-and-blood, though). That sounds complicated and confusing af, but I won't further explain that.

My political convictions. Anybody who looks at my blog for longer than a day can tell I seriously believe fundamental changes are necessary for the just survival of all life on Earth. I feel guilty that I haven't done a thing about it yet, but if I'm no longer around, I'd never be able to do anything, would I?

"I deserve better, and others do, too." The first part is a lot harder to accept, though. The very existence of the self feels inherently selfish and bad to me, even though I don't judge others the same way. It's a struggle.

Aside from that... I don't know.

13. (tw) Do you relate to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome?

I thought I'd heard that spiritual abuse is a thing, but I don't think I've heard before of Religious Trauma Syndrome. Um... yeah. Yeah, I relate to it. Nearly all the symptoms are ones I still struggle with, intensely, to this day.

Anyway, that just about covers the last questions, I think.

[popwasabi]

My Top 10 Favorite Giant Monster Movies

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that I love so much about the giant monster movie genre.

Perhaps it was my early fascination with dinosaurs and big animals at the zoo, or simply the idea of smashing model buildings and miniature cities growing up but giant monster flicks have stood the test of time for me more so than most of my childhood fascinations.

It’s a genre that can be both deeply thematic and even at the same time joyfully cheesy in the best way. It’s like watching your action figures come to life on the big screen and your imagination taking a larger than life form.

(And of course can be really entertaining on a “So bad it’s good” level too.)

So it has truly pleased me as a longtime fan of this crazy genre that giant monster flicks appear to be making a comeback these past five years with beautifully rendered and fully realized Hollywood re-imagining’s and with the new “Pacific Rim” film set to come out today I felt it would be great to share with you some of my all-time favorite monster flicks and why you should all make time to watch them.

I haven’t seen every kaiju-sized monster film blockbuster (you won’t find any of the “Cloverfield” films on here) but I have watched most all of the major ones that have appeared. So without further ado here are my top 10 favorite giant monster movies of all-time.

  10. Godzilla against Mechagodzilla

There have been five total movies and three different costumes involving this particular nemesis of Godzilla but 2002’s “Godzilla against Mechagodzilla” is the best one of them all.

First of all, it’s the only version of Mechagodzilla that actually looks like the actual G-man himself (set to make an appearance in this month’s “Ready Player One” btw) and secondly there’s a fairly decent story going on in the middle of all of it.

It’s basically your typical soldier’s redemption arc but with a kaiju-sized plot point. Yumiko Shaku plays an ex pilot who’s run in with Godzilla during a mission costs the lives of her fellow service men some years ago and now she’s been recruited to pilot a great new weapon built on the bones of the original 1954 Godzilla (Godzilla timelines and realities are more all over the place than the X-Men franchise btw). Its dark at times but the cast plays well off each other and when the monster suit action goes down it’s a real blast to watch Godzilla and his mechanical doppelganger throw down.

Best Moment: 

When Mechagodzilla arrives in the final act to beat up on Godzilla he hilariously flies down from the sky and bumps him out of the way from fire-balling a children’s hospital in this hilariously dated visual shot. I can’t tell you how many times me and my friend rewound this scene to watch and laugh at it again and again as middle-schoolers back in the day.

 9. Kong: Skull Island

The first of the new era of kaiju films on this list, this movie gets more and more fun each time I watch it. It has very little resemblance to any of the previous American King Kong films and frankly is more in line with Toho’s recreation of the character in the 60s and 70s in the best way.

After the so-so reimagining of “Godzilla” in 2014 I wondered if Hollywood would understand why there were mixed reactions to that film. Giant monster films really only work on two ends of a very extreme spectrum. You can only do them super dark and serious with heavy handed metaphors and minimal approaches to revealing the monster OR you show the monster all the time in the most ridiculous, action-packed, over-the-top, cheesy fashion. “Godzilla 2014” tried to have it both ways, trying some metaphorical shit about Godzilla (that really never applied to him) while also having a Showa era style monster throwdown.

“Kong” doesn’t make this mistake, instead opting for the latter in one ridiculous monster fight sequence after another. The big ape goes full pro-wrestler in this film and layeths the smacketh down on these Skull Island monster’s candy ass’s and it’s a total blast.

(BAW GAWD!)

It also helps that unlike “Godzilla 2014,” while characters are fairly one-dimensional in this too, they are at least fun to watch and the script seems self-aware that they are in a big cheesy monster film between the bantering of the soldiers and John C. Reilly’s delightful WWII Dr. Bruhl routine.

“Kong” was one of the films that was quietly one of the best, in my opinion, in 2017 and I’m looking forward to the next Giant Monster shared universe film because of it.

Best Moment: 

When Kong starts flinging old boat propeller chains at the big Skull Crawler in the final act like fucking Kratos from “God of War.” It’s again such an awesomely, ridiculous sequence that harkens back to the cheesy films it pays homage to in the best way. Not to mention tearing the monster’s throat out was gnarly as hell too.

 8. Gamera: Attack of Legion

Godzilla is obviously the most popular kaiju to emerge from the Pacific Ocean to attack Japan but not enough fans worldwide pay tribute to the big flying, fire-breathing, turtle that often protects it, from Toho’s rival studio Daiei.

Gamera is probably my second favorite all-time kaiju and his films in the 90s were arguably better and definitely darker than the Godzilla films that came out during the Hesei era. The giant turtle had some truly violent confrontations, for kids movies, during this time and “Attack of Legion” almost gave me nightmares as a child.

If you like “Starship Troopers” or “Aliens” this is a good one to watch as Gamera takes on a hive of space-faring, plant-based(?) insects and the smalls ones rip apart the humans in often grisly fashion in this film.

The costumed fight sequences are a lot of fun to watch and Legion herself(?) is a really well designed monster that plays a worthy adversary for the Guardian of Earth.

Best Moment: 

When Gamera unleashes his big new weapon when his chest opens up and puts out a giant chest fireball powered from ancient energies from a far (I know right?). It kind of reminds me of Guyver’s own chest busting weapon in his manga series (ask your weeaboo friends) and it leaves behind an anime sized crater where Legion once stood. Few of the Godzilla films have a sequence as jaw-dropping as this one and even if it was a big cheesy monster flick it’s still quite a cinematic moment when it goes down.

 7. Gamera: Revenge of Iris

This one by far is probably the darkest of the Heisei era monster flicks.

There’s a small element of Cronenberg level horror in this film and some more grissly death scenes the Gamera franchise is known for in the 90s. At its core though it has a pretty decent thematic story about revenge and how it consumes us all, leading to in this case literal big consequences as a Japanese school girl name Ayana, who’s family was crushed accidentally by Gamera in the first film of this series (“Guardian of the Universe”) vows revenge by calling on an ancient evil beast to kill the big turtle.

The cinematography, even for a costumed monster flick is really solid in this film and even today has aged fairly well. The dark hues of Japan during a stormy night, the updated more vicious look of Gamera and the new enemy Iris all look the part in this big revenge-filled throwdown.

It’s the type of spectacle that makes these Gamera films stand apart from the rest of the costume monster genre as being one of the few that manages to be cheesy with giant rubber suit but also dark and thematic at the same time.

It’s still such a damn shame though we never got to see this giant turtle lock horns with the King of Monsters though =/.

Best Moment: 

When Gamera his own hand off, which was pinned to the Kyoto Bullet Train station by Iris’s claw, to save himself and Ayana, and goes full G Gundam shining finger on its ass. Yeah, it’s a pretty insane sequence but it’s so fucking cool when it happens!

 6. King Kong (1933)

If this was a list based purely on level of importance to the genre the original “King Kong” is easily number one on here. But we’re rating this purely on my own personal aesthetic taste because if we rated films only on their importance to filmmaking everyone would have “Birth of a Nation” and “The Jazz Singer” on their top 10 lists and I’m preeeety sure no one wants that (seriously look it up).

Anyways, “King Kong” despite being made almost 100 years ago now is the most important film in this genre by a mile and has a pretty awesome amount of giant monster action that holds up on the fun scale even after all this time. The stop motion animation used in this film was revolutionary for its time and still visually entertaining to watch between the man eating brontosaurs (yeah, I know) and Kong beating the shit out of other large beasts on the island all while just wanting to spend some quiet time with his special lady friend.

It’s one of the first major blockbusters too in Hollywood history, hugely influential on a host of a big-time directors and virtually all giant monster fans will tell you their first love was this movie.

I guess it’s only because I’m such a Godzilla/Tokusatsu fanboy “King Kong” isn’t higher on this list but regardless, this big great ape will always have a spot in my kaiju-shaped heart.

Hail to the King, baby.

Best Moment:  

After all this time it’s still Kong breaking the jaw of the tyrannosaur while saving Ann from being eaten. It’s a scene that has been recreated in other monster films multiple times but the original is still a classic moment.

 5. Godzilla: GMK

Short for “Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah” (which is funny because it completely leaves out Baragon from this title who is also in it), “GMK” is far and away the best of the Millennium era of the giant monster films and unsurprisingly the man behind the greatness of this kaiju flick also made the three bad ass Gamera films of the 90s: Shusuke Kaneko.

Kaneko, much like his Gamera films, mixes in the cheese of your typical rubber suit monster film with the darker tone his films of the past take on.

Generally speaking the closer the story of a Godzilla film relates to the original 1954 movie the stronger the story is and this one builds on the themes of the atomic bomb while also addressing a topic relevant to Japanese politics.

This has been ongoing for a while in Japanese society but for those who don’t already know Japan has no army. It has a defense force that is in many ways under the jurisdiction of the United States and the rest of the world. Japan pretty much lost its sovereignty to defend itself after WWII and this has not sat well with much of the country. Another film, that you’ll see soon on this list, also addresses this topic but the position Kaneko takes is that Japan has forgotten the horrible the sins it committed in the wake of WWII and must understand why it has lost its right to have an active military.

Godzilla works best when he’s a big walking metaphor for something terrible and in this way Godzilla assumes the visage of a vengeful God coming to punish Japan for those sins it committed during the war. In this film Godzilla is the accumulation of dead souls from the pacific campaign and Imperial occupation of Asia and it’s an appropriate way of reminding the Japanese audience of this film “Don’t you ever fucking forget what you did.”

Now, there’s a strong debate to be had about giving Japan back its military. Afterall, if the US can invade other countries and commit war crimes why the hell should we be able to tell Japan (an ally) they can’t either? BUT it’s still important that Japan understands why such a declaration was made in the first place and certainly promoting revisionist history of their time occupying Asia is NOT a good look and this film expresses that loudly.

Best Moment: 

A little Easter egg moment is honestly my favorite among all the giant monster action and heavy metaphors of the story. Basically the cast of characters are discussing other strange monster sized occurrences across the world and one of them remarks there was an attack in New York in 1998 and how the Americans think it was Godzilla. Then one of the characters more or less says “Nah that can’t be true” and it’s pretty amusing of course if you know what that’s referencing.

 4. Godzilla vs Destoryah

Other fanboys in the 90s had “The Death Superman” that rocked their childhoods and put them into a depressed stupor. Well, for me in my childhood it was “Godzilla vs Destoryah” aka “The one where Godzilla finally dies.”

I remember picking that VHS tape up from my local video rental shack as a kid with both giddy excitement and somber acceptance. First of all the name “Destoryah” as a kid that sounded totally bad ass and I couldn’t wait to see my favorite giant reptile throw down with him but knowing this would be his last film (for now) made me sad and depressed.

Set a truly beautiful and dark score by the original “Gojira” composer Akira Ifukube the thrills and destruction of Godzilla is fully realized in its rubber costume glory. I don’t think there was a better looking suit than this volcano inspired visage the G-man rocks here.

Destoryah himself is a really neat looking monster too. Part prehistoric crustacean and part demon from the underworld, this beast was real eye candy for me as a kid and paid homage to original film’s big plot device. The Oxygen Destroyer, which is the device that killed “Gojira” in the first film, is what mutates Precambrian era lifeforms into this beast that ultimately does battle with Godzilla and it’s a glorious throwdown.

There’s also a light homage to “Aliens” in this film too when the Japanese equivalent of SWAT gets whacked in a refinery by a bunch of smaller Destroyahs and it’s actually a pretty tension filled sequence.

But it was knowing that the film was the end of an era that made it so great, as the actors behind the characters seem to be self-aware of this being Godzilla’s final curtain call (again, for now). It’s like watching a liftetime achievement award in action almost as the kaiju mayhem is upped to 11 and Godzilla’s ultimate death is both cinematic and mesmerizing to watch all while Ifukube’s score plays softly in the background.

Best Moment: 

As the dust settles from Godzilla’s meltdown, we suddenly see a large silhouette in the smoke where Godzilla Jr’s body once lay, Destoryah had presumably killed him earlier but now a fully grown new Goji stands there triumphantly roaring into the night.

As a kid this made me tear up, not just because I was attached to Jr. and was glad he was ok but because it was like the film was saying to its fans “This isn’t good bye. We’ll be back.”

I had gone into watching this movie as a kid thinking this would be the last Godzilla film I would ever watch and it had made me sad but seeing the new Godzilla emerge from old one’s shadow made me hopeful I would see my favorite childhood, atomic breathing dinosaur once more.

And sure enough I did.

 3. Pacific Rim

This movie isn’t so much a film as it is a love letter to the Tokusatsu genre. If you grew up on giant monster flicks and mech anime this was the film that was made for you and the childlike joy Guillermo Del Toro directs this film with is just perfect.

No, the story isn’t particularly deep and neither are the characters as it has a bit of “Top Gun” mixed in with “Neon Genesis Evangelion” but the film is so colorful and fun that who gives a shit?

A giant mech, that looks like a football player, uses an elbow rocket to punch a gorilla shaped giant monster in the face and later uses an oil tanker like a baseball bat to club another one. It’s awesome!

What was truly great about the film though is that it feels like a cheesy monster flick from the 60s but simply with updated graphics. Unlike the failed 1998 “Godzilla” film these monsters don’t move around like fucking T-Rexes. They lumber, they throw fists with exaggerated motions, and heave themselves around without any sense of grace, just like dude’s in rubber suits do. It looks like how I would imagine those old monster flicks would look with better CGI.

And of course Charlie Day and Ron Pearlman are just delightful as Newt and Hannibal Chau as they are in everything they are a part of. The cast in general seems to have blast in this movie and it’s part of what makes the film so perfect.

Best Moment: 

Nearing the end of the battle in China, Raleigh and Mako are out of options as a winged kaiju flies them up into space to drop them down from up high but just as all hope seems lost Mako unlocks the last weapon on Gypsy Danger; A FUCKING SWORD! And just to put icing on the cake before slicing the kaiju in half, Mako delivers the most badass line of film triumphantly declaring in Japanese “For my Family!” I lost my damn mind in theaters when she dropped that line. Who cares if they didn’t use the damn sword earlier; that was fucking awesome!

 2. Shin Gojira

“Shin Gojira” is basically what I thought/wanted “Godzilla 2014” to be.

I felt it had been too long since we had a truly evil Godzilla film (GMK being one of the few outliers really in about 60 plus years of Godzilla films). The big guy had been a Face for too long and desperately needed to revert back to being a Heel and “Shin Gojira” takes the big guy back to his grim, dark, metaphorical roots.

Out of all the Godzilla films that have come out this one most closely resembles the tone and themes of the original, though with some differences in the messaging. This film takes the opposite side of “GMK” in that it’s all about the Japanese need for national sovereignty again. It’s openly critical of the US and of the Japanese government’s failure of bureaucracy. If anything, it’s almost a conservative film railing against the dangers of big government.

More than half the film is really just board room meetings within the Japanese government where that failure of politics really becomes heavy and sometimes even feels a bit like “Dr. Strangelove” with the dry, dark humor as the politicians fail again and again to address the problem.

I don’t believe either “Shin Gojira” or “GMK” make stronger points on Japanese politics but rather they both make good ones and this film illustrates well that Japan is in many ways defenseless toward attack without the rest of the world getting involved. In this way Godzilla becomes a big walking metaphor for any number of threats that could attack Japan, from North Korea to Russia and hell even an allegory for the US’s own meddling in this regard.

There’s a real sense of dread with each step Godzilla takes in this film, leaving a large path of destruction in his way. He plods slowly but you get the sense that despite this there is truly nothing Japan can or is even prepared to do and it adds to the somber reality of the story’s theme. There’s pretty obvious callbacks to the Fukushima disaster too as we see tidal waves wash over the cities and nuclear waste left behind by Godzilla and it adds to the film’s relevant messaging.

A lot of fans have mixed opinions on Godzilla’s, let’s say, crusty appearance but personally I liked it. There’s a nice horror element to this design as this particular Godzilla is made out millions of mutated creatures in the ocean coming together and his cold, dead, listless eyes are pure nightmare fuel. It’s in my opinion one of the best looks the big reptile has ever had and it especially works well to again add to this image of Godzilla as less a creature and more a demonic God coming to punish the non-believers.

Best Moment: 

When Godzilla unhinges his mandibles (Holy shit! What the fuck!?) and unloads a giant anime sized atomic blast upon Tokyo in honestly my favorite giant monster sequence of all-time.

Unlike “Godzilla 2014’s” big atomic blast sequence which plays more like cheap fan service, there’s a clear build-up to this moment in the film. Things had been steadily getting worse with each scene in this movie up until this point for the Japanese and the main characters are all on the ropes at this point as they just try to escape Godzilla’s wrath, giving in to defeat as they run for safety. Then Godzilla’s fins begin lighting up and it’s like “Oh shit what now?” for these characters and the entire sequence plays like the gates of the Rapture opening up. It’s terrifying and if you didn’t get to see this cinematic scene on the big screen while it was in select theaters, you truly missed out.

 1. Gojira

You didn’t actually think this list wouldn’t end with this at number one, right?

Yup, the original 1954 classic is my all-time favorite monster movie and while the genre is largely just fun, campy schlocke, “Gojira” even with its dated special affects is not that type of movie.

It’s somber, dark, depressing and was a hugely important film at the time for Japan. Up until this point there wasn’t a whole lot of post war or atomic bomb discussion or expression among the Japanese and it made it hard to cope with what happened. “Gojira” was the first time the people of Japan kind of got to confront what happened and it was both terrifying and cathartic for them.

“Gojira” though is a story that ultimately is about the failure of humanity. The film was created less than a year after an off shore atomic bomb test unintentionally killed Japanese Fishermen in the pacific causing another panic amongst the Japanese populace reminding them of what had happened just a decade before. Godzilla in this film becomes a metaphor for that failure to not learn from the mistake of creating such a terrible weapon. He becomes less a “force of nature” metaphor as King Kong is and more egregiously how the 2014 film made him out to be but rather again a vengeful God coming to punish the human race for their hubris and sins.

The creation of Godzilla in this story, an ancient subterranean dinosaur awakened and mutated by atomic bomb testing, harkens back to the themes of Mary Shelley’s classic “Frankenstein” and how we humans often meddle with forces beyond our understanding to the point of our own undoing. The film makes this point effectively with each step Godzilla takes as he levels Tokyo and the despair and dread of the characters and the citizens of Japan can be heavily felt on screen. It’s a darkly, beautiful film because of it and it’s kind of ironic when you think such a thematic and message driven story could give birth to such a cheesy and over the top genre of movies for decades to come.

Nonetheless “Gojira” stands alone as not just the King of Monsters but the King of all Monster Films.

Best Moment:

In the aftermath of Godzilla’s destruction we cut to the next day where the citizens pick up the fallen pieces of their city and its people. There’s hospitals full of the wounded and dead and shots of children with Geiger counters beeping all over them. This is really where the film really emphasizes the pure terrible destruction the atomic bomb and how we all are doomed to repeat this tragedy if we don’t learn to coexist better. As school children sing a “Prayer For Peace” over these images it’s truly hard not to get misty eyed during this sequence.

Anyways that’s my list, hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know what your favorite giant monster film is in the comments! Cya at the Miracle Mile tonight when we cancel the Apocalypse again!

War ready, mother fuckers!

[spnreactionblogging]

raising hell

SPOILERS BELOW 

okay I really learned my lesson last time about not typing this directly into tumblr so it's going into notepad first and then I'm pasting it over

I have angel's envy for the episode in general, which I will be drinking gradually as a special occasion just for S15 as it airs, and also devil's cut for this episode in particular because I hear buckleming wrote it and I'm toasting to crowley and drinking that one if/when something fucked up inevitably happens to kevin

I'm SO FUCKING GLAD to see osric in this btw just like. I love him he's so good I'm glad he's back

I've tried to avoid spoilers but from what glimpses I've seen before I could glance away it sounds like maybe some meta shit is getting into territory I was also going into with the kevin/crowley/castiel fic I'm doing? so super intrigued to see where that goes but also not getting my hopes up because I fear the writing is going to drop the ball

I love meta shit though I'm so here for it, I gotta double back for time travel shenanigans in Lebanon

okay anyway let's start

oh and apparently rob benedict had a stroke a while back?? and i'm so glad he's all right, here are the signs of a stroke if you need to refresh because you really ought to know what to look for https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/too-young-to-have-a-stroke-think-again I had this open in a tab from someone totally different on twitter

I like the "road closed" sign we start with because it seems thematically on point for like... shutting down the infinite potential of stories as they are not done being told, and as all those doors close

it's not a buckleming episode unless it starts off with gratuitous violence against women

the amazon subtitles are spelling it "benzine" [sic] and it's pissing me off

I love jared playing sam playing an FBI agent who's nervous about delivering speeches

crams all this sam and cas footage into my mouth

I don't believe "belphegor" at all but I love seeing alex playing this part

this implication that belphegor has teamed up with a hunter previously.........

pretty impressed with these townspeople actually? their concerns are not unreasonable and they're right to be skeptical

pffffff at this parallel of sam addressing the living crowd vs jack the ripper addressing the ghost crowd

the makeup on the ghosts is pretty fuckin good, I like the wardrobe and hair too

I like the fake posters at the school for various fictional sporting events

castiel continues to have a conscience and I adore him

rowena "am I interrupting something juicy" eyes emoji

ruth is pretty fun, I like her necklace

I like that ketch literally has a gun that just kicks spirits out of people. like. ...why haven't they been using this technology the whole time. guess it's an endgame weapon.

hahahahha an attractive female demon named Ardat. ................me @ homestuck like oh Ardata got it

this is the first time i've seen adult amara? it's bizarre to see characters I've only heard of

dude's right to be very upset and worried about his neighbors and cas should tell them what's up honestly, I see sam's point about not inciting panic but on the other hand :\

no idea where this arthur/rowena thing is going except I do I guess

I really, really like castiel's take (which is also sam's take from the last episode) that even if their lives were written by chuck, their experiences still mattered, and are not rendered worthless because of external circumstances about how they came into being

are people seriously doing a "THIS IS A DESTIEL MOMENT" from this? like. i guess.

also i hate that cas is having to apologize for "dropping the puck". he didn't. fuck off. he didn't drop the ball. dean didn't give a shit about felix being killed anyway so what the fuck.

misha and jensen both have excellent delivery though

I do like seeing dean play off ketch and belphegor and rowena, it's a nice change of pace

dude these stunts of getting thrown into a wall or a shelving unit like I realize they're stunts but OUCH

ahhhhhh that's kevin i hear osric's voice

kevin got the other ghost to go away by yelling at them lmaooooo I love him so fucking much!!!!!

so we're gonna retcon that kevin has spent the last what, four??? four fucking years? not in heaven, but in hell or purgatory or just wandering earth? remember how a year on earth is forty years in hell?

I'm glad I specifically have the devil's cut to drink to kevin getting fucked over because I'm already enraged

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 1 **

god he's been on the screen for less than sixty seconds and he was just never sent to heaven because god lied, I'm so glad I have bourbon for this. fucking buckleming, how do they keep getting put in charge of kevin episodes

I got up to get my kevin keychain to watch the rest of this episode with I'm so mad holy fuck I'm so mad, it just never stops

the amazon subtitles: "the vegetables and herbs are finely chopped and added to a SEXY pastiche of fragrant tripe"

thinking emoji, did you mean zesty....

I took like a 30 minute break because I was so mad just now about kevin being denied access to heaven like fuck you

the break was so long that amazon timed out, goddamn it

oh so we can't get kevin into heaven because god's not around to make an exception and god hates the winchesters and how god feels about the winchesters extends to their surrounding "friends" and family. amazing. this is bullshit.

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 2 **

"whiny kevin tran! typical millennial." he should whine more. he has every right to be furious

also amazing that bobby and john manage to stay in heaven, and chuck didn't cast them down to hell along with mary out of spite when this all went down? so like... why not kevin. AMAZING!!!!!!

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 3 **

sam has the dignity to actually look concerned instead of just annoyed

oh I like sam being linked to chuck lmaooooo

I do love this shot of a bunch of ghosts just hanging out in some suburban kitchen.

osric is so handsome I'm so glad to see him on this again

"you know how the hellspawn are, all they talk about is sam and dean, sam and dean" maybe the only time jack the ripper has been right about anything

not a fan of this extremely heteronormative bullshit courtesy of buckleming

also left-brain/right-brain is basically a lie isn't it

this fucking music. I'm so sick of buckleming

like I would be fine with this if it had been written by literally anyone else but this is the worst shit, nobody flirts like this

the road is "FAIR WYND", that's the cousin of zack fair and cid highwind

she hooked up with jack the ripper briefly? weird flex but okay

oh kevin is now being held GHOST HOSTAGE because dean told him to go do some reconnaissance

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 4 **

also I paused on a screenshot that's extremely funny to me

oh I don't like hearing kevin screaming :(

drinking for kevin being tortured by jack the ripper trying to ghost-vore him

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 5 **

I'm also waiting for the ghostbusters containment thing to backfire and swallow him too

DEAN: you can see them, how many are there "BELPHEGOR": 100 at least, more keep coming

convenient way not to animate 100+ ghosts

oh ketch took off the fucking iron, or maybe it fell off when he was hurt?

good job rowena for real

CASTIEL: I tried to heal him, but it didn't work. I don't know why. SAM: You're probably just tired, Cas. We all are.

for fucking real the biggest sastiel mood is taking naps

also this is troubling

it's like legitimately weird to see them call an ambulance on this show? I guess since they're posing as FBI agents it's more feasilble but

SAM: I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish there was some way to make this right. KEVIN: Me too, but there isn't. And sometimes you just gotta accept that.

actually fuck you lmao holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit omg fuck this

I'm about to drink the rest of the kevin-designated devil's cut

"there's nothing to keep him tied to earth, he'll go crazy!"

hey what about y'know

his mom...........................................

I'm screaming

"I love you guys" osric I know you love them IRL but this is so unfair for kevin the character

I like alexander and osric in the same shot, that's kind of fun, I enjoyed their panel I watched

and there's him waving goodbye. this is so unfair. time to down the rest of this

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 666 **

to kevin, and to osric

thank fuck I was already in the middle of writing fix-it fic, this is injust

I have such mixed feelings because I'm so happy to see osric back but like AT WHAT COST, the worst timeline

there's a finality to this too like he's not coming back after this unless there's massive all-cast-reunion episode at the tail end in a paradise party AU but I doubt it

goodbye Kevin, this sucks :(

I'm more motivated than ever to finish this fic

"Even on your best day, you couldn't force my hand." is a pretty good line

also negative space is not inferior or "backup vocals"? it's part of a composition

you fucking know what buckleming is that WE CAN FIGURE OUT THAT THERE'S A NARRATIVE PARALLEL ABOUT HER LEAVING HIM TRAPPED WITH HIS CREATION, WITHOUT YOU SPELLING IT OUT jesus christ

bluhhhhhhhhhh I liked the premiere a lot more

[enemymine2000]

SPN: Thoughts about 12x14 and 12x15

A lot of “Ah, hell, really? Not again?”-feelings here at first. But then my brain started to dig deeper.

We – the casual viewer – are meant to take things at face value. We are meant to believe that Sam genuinely switched sides and is now working on Dean to do too. We are meant to believe Ketch's seductions of the latter and his mindless enjoyment of hunting with Lucille (of all things).

But we – the not quite so casual viewer – know better.

We know, that Dean is more than a mindless hunter drone, whose only interests are sexual conquests, booze and rides. We know that Dean is able to hack with the best of them (R.I.P. Charlie!), so we know he can easily disprove Sam's claim of a new “find hunts”-app just because of that.

Also we know that Dean is a lying liar who lies professionally and as such can easily spot another liar, especially when the other is Sam, who can't lie his way out of a wet paper bag even when his life depends on it. The only exception being when Sam was soulless, because no conscience to rat him out.

A big hint to that effect is Dean's very on point attitude to lying to their victim of the week about the supernatural. It is a surrogate war. “Don't lie to her, especially not that clumsy” basically means “Don't lie to me, you know I can tell”.

And never forget the much discussed shampoo-line. Dean basically tells it to Sam's face: “I know your secrets!” But also: “Wash this gore from me and I am more than you can see.”

Which is a continuation of the previous episode and Ketch's seduction, that never was.

Yes, psychopath Ketch believes it to be, but Dean – and thus we – know better. Dean might have been hungry for a hunt, but he was not hungry for killing just to kill things. Very sadistically in Ketch's case. Because Dean is more than meets the eye and makes it into BMOL files.

Dean is the guy tasked with keeping the balance on this planet by God himself and he is in a place in his life, where he can accept that. Shown in the last episode with placing him smack dab in the middle of his “love triangle”, so basically between heaven and hell.

He the human, who had been monster and demon, between the demonic ex and the angelic whatever-to-be and managing the balance.

The King of Hell, who basically fled from his domain, the somewhat fallen angel, who goes to Heaven to talk it out with his hateful brethren, and the human, who holds it all together. Who can forgive and forget no matter who, as long as it is sincere. Who will hunt you down if you don't mean it.

I mean, Crowley is basically just still alive, because Dean was able to look beyond and see his reasons.

Crowley remains a demon at his core – no matter his sudden affinity for human emotions – so by old hunter's codex he is nonredeemable and to be put down. But he always acted on a codex on his own, demonic though it was, to uphold balance. Crowley only took what hell earned rightfully and when he stepped beyond that - *cough* Purgatory *cough* - he only did so in accordance with Heaven.

When Dean was a practically unbeatable weapon in Crowley's arsenal, he never misused him. Which, summer of love or not, is something one would not expect from the actual ruler of all things evil.

Cas in turn – well, one could argue, that he only truly came alive through Dean. Yes, he technically “was” for bilions of years, but being and being alive are two very distinct different things.

Castiel, angel of the Lord, was a warrior and only that. His brethren were his only true contact throughout his whole existence and they used him to further their respective agendas. One of which was raising the Righteous Man from Hell.

Cas was born the day his grace touched Dean's soul and has been reborn (sometimes quite literally, which is more than even Lucifer can say) ever since, whenever faced with a choice of his own.

Also still alive because of Dean, because if it wasn't for that pretty insistent human being Cas' would have guilt-tripped himself into oblivion.

If it were for the BMOL all three would need to be disposed off. They are monsters without exception and Ketch would kill each of them without a second thought.

That is something Sam still needs to truly grasp. Also that he would be on that list of monsters too, if he was not so damn useful as a hunter now. That with him being one of Azazel's chosen.

BTW, whatever happened to that? We got that flashback this season, but only with Sam as an unreliable narrator.

Has he lost his psychic powers completely? Or are they just dormant?

One could argue Gadreel healing Sam after the trials would purge that last remants of impurity from his system, but then Gadreel never finished the job and Sam was left to heal naturally after expelling the angel from his body. Not to forget that of the brothers Sam still has the better affinity with witch craft and spell work. (Where exactly lies the distinction?)

So, yes, Sam cozied up with BMOL. But he did so, because he could see how utterly lacking they are and his mother's life was literally at stake.

Dean goes along with it, because he knows there are things Sam is not telling and before he does not get the whole story, he will trust his brother. At the same time he knows his future will not be with the BMOL, because what they already had done to him/his family is already nonredeemable in his eyes.

So while he waits for the second shoe to drop he is looking out for a way to get his mother and brother to safety from the subsequential fall-out.

So, what else? Crowley has Lucifer utterly trapped. I knew as much when he told Lucifer to his face that they had his vessel rebuild from scratch.

Yes, the chains were a nice rustic touch, but please, we are talking archangel here! Currently the most powerful being on this planet and I'm supposed to believe he is held only by some angel-binding chains? Classic subterfuge.

I can't believe Crowley truly wants the nephilim torn apart. Least to torture Lucifer. Yes, Lucifer has been mean to our resident King of Hell, but if Crowley truly would have wanted the nephilim, he would have had Kelly right there, when they expelled Lucifer from the president's body. He had the time to mess with the spell to send the archangel into his vessel, he would have had the time to snatch and grab his baby mama. Especially since he is not restricted by human means of transportation.

He might want the nephilim. But he will want it for the same reasons he wanted Amara. Power. A nephilim is so powerful that angels fear it and there is a decree not to create one (aka “The Sacred Oath”). Maybe this one even more so, since it was sired by the only (relatively sane) archangel left. One unaffected by the big fall – wings still intact and all (very nice for SPN to show us that much).

Yes, I don't doubt that Crowley wants to torture Lucifer, wants to humiliate him, wants to get even for what was done to him. But Crowley would not have become King of Hell, if he did not know better than to do something that probably will come back to bite him in the ass. Killing the actual devil's child is such a thing as long as Lucifer is still alive.

Since Crowley currently has no means – he destroyed the Lance of Michael and a lot of “Hands of God” were rendered useless last season and we know the Colt does not work – and plans – otherwise he would not have imprisoned Lucifer in his vessel – of disposing permanently of Hell's erstwhile ruler, he will not do such thing.

Remains Cas.

Last we have seen, he's back on his way to Heaven to talk to Joshua. That is if Kelvin had not lied in that regard. I for one don't trust the guy, because angels are dicks and they have some very big issues with Cas.

But then the argument of him having the most field experience is legit. No one of the Heavenly Host but Cas – apart from maybe Lucifer (and Gabriel, when he was still alive – I miss him!) - has ever wandered earth that much.

But his special kind of field experience is not really needed if it were only to find and dispose of Kelly, respectively her child. Angels have done similar things before and even taking into account that their numbers have dwindled and the top level bureaucrats are all but burnt wing marks on the ground now, they are still organized enough to manage a level 1 smiting. (Which probably is the most concentrated effort angels had to do ever since God left billions of years ago.)

We can not forget how truly deep the hatred of angel-kind runs towards Cas. Even Hanna had been turned against him. Because they all believe him not only to be responsible for so many deaths of their kind and the closing for Heaven's gates, but because of his love for… humanity.

Basically every angel we have ever met apart from Cas himself has acknowledged that special love for… humanity. (Well, Cas did too just a couple of episodes ago, but we're still waiting on the answer.)

Loving humanity however is not the problem. That is what God commanded of all of his angels. That is what ultimately triggered the Mark of Cain on Lucifer's arm and thus his fall. Angels are meant and programmed to love humanity.

They are however forbidden from laying with humankind and thus to love/make love to one human. The Sacred Oath. Cas has been accused of having broken it practically ever since the Apocalypse.

Cas, being the angel/human hybrid that he has become, he can now see beyond such orders, such oaths. His brethren can not.

As seen with Ishim – hypocrite that he was – they demand them to be followed no matter what. And as Cas himself has once done, they simply do. They don't know choice for themselves.

So whatever Joshua might have to say to Cas, it can't be good. Unless Joshua still talks with God, who we know to have taken a special interest in this particular angel, but then Chuck is on his sibling retreat and very hands-off and, well, Chuck. And Chuck is kind of a dick.

I saw some speculating that this will be the build-up for Cas' ultimate choice for humanity, turning human himself, giving up his grace, etc.

I still hold out hope for my hypothesis of Cas becoming nephilim per choice. Since the show is no longer about black and white, either or, but about balance.

Cas is the best of Heaven and earth combined, why take a part of him away and make him less than that?

[alittledangerx]

.

Wanted Storylines

( ♔ ) • • • I. Heart of Darkness

OPEN TO A DAMON ( READ ) - “For every year Elena Gilbert lay in the coffin due to the Sleeping beauty curse, she lived a lifetime in another lifetime, another dimension. She lived and loved, and lost in Fell’s Church while retaining every memory and moment of Mystic Falls. Of Damon. The final battle of the kitsune, ends in Elena giving her life for her friends. She expects when she opens her eyes that she will be in heaven… not in a coffin wearing a dress she planned to wear for graduation. Nobody realized that Bonnie’s heart stopping for just a few moments, brought Elena back. She definitely didn’t expect to be in her own body, stowed away in an armory. The darkness sucking the light from her already weak body. Flashes of a life that felt like a lifetime before passes her eyes and she calls out to Damon, only… to hear his voice calling to her like a prayer as darkness blinds her.”

( ♔ ) • • • II. Deadly Sins

OPEN TO A KAI ( READ ) - Everyone believed that Matt Donovan had no other purpose but to remain the only member of this Scooby Gang who remained a blood bag through and through. How were us towny folk supposed to know that the Founder’s Day Bell that was welded by the Donovan Family was actually a magical bell that once rang 12 times it opens the fires of hell up in Mystic Falls. Basically meant to destroy the town like the Hell Mouth did in Summerdale! Que the Buffy Theme Song! However, that’s not what happened. Matt was forced by compulsion to ring the bell and was stopped on the 11th ring, stopping him from destroying the town. Only if that was all there was to it life would be easy. While bell toll number 12 unleashes the fires... 11 opens the door. Only for a brief period of time... long enough for Malachai Parker to return in all his witty little commentary glory!

The only thing though is to stay on earth, he had to kill people to balance the side effects. At least until he was able to steal magic from an immortal... literally tricking Damon to leading him to Elena, stealing Damon's life force and disappearing with the coffin. (I am starting a drinking game for everytime my coffin got stolen btw!). Kai, tricked Cade cause he was following Katherine’s plan and got the gang to kill Cade... while he had Elena his prisoner. Kai’s magic now returned was able to turn one of his lovely blood bags into an Elena lookalike until Katherine was able to switch places while he had the real one trapped in the boiler room. 

Torturing her the first time around gave him pleasure. Now having her trapped inside of her mind where no physical affects could be rendered to the now human girl however... now that is where the fun truly begins.

( ♔ ) • • • III. Mindfreak

OPEN TO A STEFAN ( READ ) - Stefan made another deal with cade. He would flip his humanity switch and turn both the good and the bad to Cade's side for a year. Becoming the ripper as long as after the year is up, Damon and him would be free. Cade had mentioned that after a year... Stefan may want to continue serving him. Stefan believed that after a year he would be back in Caroline’s arms... he was wrong. 

Fast forward to a year or two in the future. The boys are still working for Cade. Bonnie was accidentally turned (had Enzo's blood in her system) and Elena woke up. Elena was brought up to speed by Caroline and Bonnie about what has been going on. In the show Elena is Damon's weakness and Stefan even knows this. When Elena goes seeking the boys out... Stefan gets to her first before she could reach Damon. The only way to get her off of his back was to make sure she never had a reason to return. Taking away her lapis lazuli ring, he compelled her to believe he and Damon were taking turns torturing her. Slowly. Playing with her resolve to make her give up because he is a ripper. Only he can't drain her, or drink her blood because he would become mortal. 

Stefan as a ripper doesn’t have a care for Elena, doesn't want to lose Damon. The deal Stefan made is complete. Damon is free to go any moment but because Elena is still in the sleeping spell (he doesn't know otherwise) he has no reason to un-flip his own switch. So Stefan will do ANYTHING to make sure that Elena doesn't get to Damon and Elena will do EVERYTHING in her power to piss Stefan off enough to knock some sense into him.