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tropical-gothic · 4 years

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To the world

Angel/Demon AU headcanons for Yasha and Sasori

@multisasori Well, it’s technically a Good Omens AU. Take a guess on who’s the demon (who is just a little bit of a good person), and who’s the angel (who is just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing).

Special thanks to @thatshipcat for fueling these headcanons and for sharing quite a few that I’ve incorporated here.

1. Angel and Angel turned Demon

Sasori started out, like all demons, as an angel. That was, until he made one fateful trip down to earth to Babylon.

“I’ve received a notice about a tower outside building regulations—-“

Said tower may or may not have been the base of a handful of demons. The angel who came to inspect may or may not have liked the aesthetic—- Sasori thinks he would look more beautiful in black, even if his beauty was already beyond mortal comprehension.

“Where is Sasori?” Yasha had long since finished his own job, and ended up stumbling on a bunch of confused people who couldn’t seem to understand each other. “He’s never been late.”

“Yasha,” rang a voice in his head, with some static— likely calling from an underground source. “Can’t make it back today. I’m being indoctrinated into demon hood. I’m going to have such awesome black wings.”

“Cool, cool, cool,” Yasha said, brushing his own white wings. They looked awesome enough to him. “Okay, you stay safe.” The static stopped and Sasori’s voice disappeared. Yashamaru sighed. “Michael’s going to be pissed.”

2. The Aesthetic

So, there are good and bad things that come with the whole demon aesthetic, Sasori realized.

Yes, black looked absolutely wonderful in him. He was drop dead gorgeous and people have even more languages now to tell him how beautiful he was. Except that he wasn’t a fan of the whole… snake skin issue. That was Orochimaru’s thing and somehow that becomes everyone’s thing as well (at least in “Akatsuki”— which Sasori also found a cool name for demons).

But it definitely wasn’t Sasori’s thing. He complained to Yasha about it often enough— even carved himself his own set of wooden clogs. Better the clogs than snake skin— /oh, okay, all shoes become snake skin when I wear it. Perfect./

Another thing Sasori liked about being a demon was the black wings that came with the indoctrination. It was his color, after all, and it made him feel larger than life— even if the wing size didn’t actually change.

Except that demons didn’t quite groom their wings the way angels did and Sasori did not take to change very well. So he still kicks down the door of whatever mortal space Yasha is occupying on earth and insist that he help Sasori comb the spots he can’t reach.

Which Yasha does, with a certain gentleness that Sasori will never admit to liking.

3. The Black Plague and the Renaissance

Somewhere during the Middle Ages, Sasori was convinced that Yashamaru was an angel of death (the last heavenly meeting he was in, they were discussing this— though no one was assigned the part… as far as Sasori could recall). Either that or he was just a strangely morbid angel.

See, the guy always hovered very close to death. Be it a war or this century’s plague that’s ravaging Europe. Not that Yasha would admit to it—- he insisted that it was because this was where people needed the “comfort of God’s love” the most. (That may be why Sasori has worked a few miracles here and there too— keep them alive long enough for them to become selfish bastards again.)

“You need to get out more,” Sasori said, poking at the bird beak of the angel’s protective suit. “Air this out so you don’t smell like death. We won’t be able to have dinner if you smell like that.” Yasha would pout— but he would miracle out of the fashion disaster and into better clothes.

Yashamaru, on the other hand, was convinced that Sasori has made it a project to influence every art movement on earth. He’s always there when the big ones happen— so Yasha knows that something will happen after the plague (that would be called the Renaissance, later on).

“Back when these black wings were still new, I used to create my own gods— and have humans create them as well. Give their offerings of gold and blood to these beautifully carved idols.”

Yasha doesn’t believe him, of course. Sasori likes to create things and finds things beautiful— in and of themselves, without the work of temptation weaved into them. Sasori wouldn’t listen, of course, so Yasha just gives a few words of encouragement every so often.

4. The Antichrist

Sasori’s biggest assignment to date was a delivery. A package of sorts, straight from hell. He was to deliver the Antichrist— the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness.

Straight forward job— get the parcel, dive around town in his new car (which matches his aesthetic and even has a name), switch it with someAn other pre-selected baby, perhaps get a tip for the fast delivery service. Well, it should have been a straightforward job. Except that Sasori took a peek a the baby.

And was, perhaps, a bit more taken by the tuft of red hair, the large green eyes, and the little arms that reached out to him, than he would like to admit.

In another part of the city, Yashamaru was predictably hovering near death once more. This time, it was the death of a mother— still young, with blonde hair, and two children waiting for her at home. There should have been a third child, but the baby has already been wheeled into the ICU, and then wheeled out looking even smaller and a lot more limp. The little one had been born too early.

Yashamaru hovered near death, and stood beside her husband— a tall and stern man who bore the heavy weight of grief. It was too early to think about the future--- if he thinks of a life without his wife, it might come true. They were both leaning against the wall by the glass window, waiting for the hemorrhaging to stop— for better or for worse, when—

“So, Yashamaru,” Sasori suddenly appeared, sticking his head through the window. “What sort of diapers do you think the Lord of Darkness would prefer?”

“I— what? Wait— Sasori, now is not the time. I’m in the middle of—— /oh, he’s so cute./“

“Right!”

For a moment, Sasori told Yashamaru about Hell’s plans to bring the Antichrist over and then eventually the end of the world. With some added gloating as Sasori was won’t to do. For a moment, Yashamaru considered what to do with the child— now that the babe was in front of him. Ethically speaking? Morally speaking? As an angel? He should have the answer to this, innately, but he doesn’t. If the Antichrist were to kill everyone—-

“Excuse me?”

For a moment, Yashamaru and Sasori forgot that there was another person standing close by.

“You’re not humans?” the human asked.

“Oh no! We’re absolutely—“

“Of course, we’re not,” Sasori shrugged. “He’s an angel, I’m a demon, and this is the antichrist.”

“Right…” Yashamaru refused to let go of his smile. Positive thoughts.

“You can do miracles,” Rasa said, pointing to labor and delivery room. “My wife. She needs to live. We’ve already lost the baby.”

Sasori leaned close to Yasha— “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I’m thinking that we’re imposing on a family undergoing the worst tragedy of their lives.”

“Worst tragedy so far—- but that’s a stupid thought. What I’m thinking is that— I take the dude’s soul back to home with me and the world gets to keep the lady.”

“Sasori! That’s deplorable!”

“He’s handsome!”

Yashamaru smacked Sasori on the side. “Focus! I don’t even know what we’re thinking about— I understand this is a great deal for this family. But the greater deal is the future of the whole world. And that’s dependent on him—“ he pointed at the little red haired baby, who was making little spit bubbles while they deliberated his fate.

“You’re right,” Sasori nodded his head. “We should adopt him.”

“What! No— “ Yasha said, more than a little taken aback. “I don’t think we’re ready for this responsibility. The finances alone— did we ever settle that diaper question? Wait! No, we can’t— we’re not allowed to intervene in human lives. Raising someone would count.”

Sasori paused. “How about indirectly?”

They both turned to the human who looked too confused to follow the conversation.

“What’s your name?” Sasori asked.

“Rasa.”

“Okay, Rasa. He can get your lady love back from the clutches of death—“

“Sasori—“

“Make it happen, Yasha. But in return, you have to take this little one.”

Rasa looked at the child. “The Antichrist?”

“Yep. And he also comes with two godfathers. If we are to prevent him from realizing his full powers which could annihilate all of us and cause the end times, then we need to be present in his life as well.”

“That’s a lot to take in,” Rasa said. Nevertheless, he took the child and cradled him. Rasa told himself that this was the child they had been waiting for— even if the circumstances weren’t as expected.

“So—“ Yasha turned to Sasori, “we’d be like godfathers, then!”

“Yasha, go save the girl.”

“Right!”

Bonus:

“You’re telling me,” Sasori said, rocking the antichrist to sleep (for his parents who were fast asleep and too tired to tend to the child). “That she thinks you’re her brother? I thought she was an only child.”

“I panicked!” Yasha said, placing the milk into a tiny cup. “She asked who I was and I couldn’t say I’m an angel… I gave her good childhood memories if that’s any consolation.”

Sasori sighed.

#multisasorimonth2021 #YashaSaso #SasoYasha

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okloveyoulani · 3 years

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How Keeping Up With the Kardashians Changed My Life.

Yep, I said it.

And it's my truth.

As a tall brown mixed girl growing up in a predominantly white suburb of Missouri, I didn't see a lot of people around that looked like me. I stood out among the majority of white kids with Dooney and Bourke Bags and Nike Shox. AKA not me - a mixed Pacific Islander girl with a growth spurt that wouldn't stop.

All of my middle school crushes were into the Kate Uptons and Megan Fox's of the world - no one who I thought even slightly resembled me.

UNTIL...Kim Kardashian.

In 2007, Kim's sex tape leaked and her show Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered. FINALLY, the guys I had crushes on were talking about someone mixed and with curves LIKE ME. Which in that time in middle school was a BIG DEAL, FAM. I mean Kim's not even Pacific Islander and arguably one of the most complex and problematic influences in culture. But hey, that's who I had at that time.

And let me tell you...her rising fame truly had an impact on me back then and sparked a whole wave of mixed brown girl pride for myself. Just seeing her on screen and hearing her get talked about in the hallways helped fuel my confidence simply because she was a closer shade of brown to me.

Bottomline: this moment when I first felt represented even in the slightest bit in mainstream entertainment speaks to a much larger issue about the severe lack of representation in entertainment.

It's alarming just how low the representation is of Black, Asian Pacific Islander, LatinX, and multicultural stories across film/TV - both in front of and behind the camera. It's scary looking back on the content I consumed growing up and how much of it were stories through the lens of a white male experience, resulting in us seeing their world reflected back to us instead of our own.

Driven by powerful filmmakers such as Issa Rae, Shonda Rhimes, Ava Duvernay, Mindy Kaling, and Lulu Wang, we're FINALLY seeing more diverse female leads and our experiences represented.

This is what I want to contribute to - this growing movement and renaissance of diverse storytelling. And in particular, share the Pacific Islander and mixed woman perspective. We have Moana which was beautiful (cried throughout the whole thing.) Now it's time to share not just our culture, but our modern day life experiences through the lens of our culture.

I want to simply exist, be who I am, and put myself out there so other Pacific Islanders and mixed women can see more worlds of possibility and opportunity for themselves. Especially those who grow up in environments with a severe lack of diversity - like my hometown in Missouri.

So that's why I'm here.

And why I'm on this exploration and committed to the IGNITE program. I'm wanting to learn how to overcome my fear of putting myself out there and write from what I know to develop more diverse and nuanced Pacific Islander stories.

So that other young mixed girls out there have more stories that represent them than I did. So they can see their world, culture, and community reflected back to them through powerful brown female leads <3

---

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jacnaylor · 4 years

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romance book recs!!

romance is my feel good genre, and it’s also usually somewhat easier to read during stressful times, so here’s a list of some books that are either romance or have a romance element i feel like mentioning.

(EDIT: I STAYED UP TILL 2 AM DOING THIS HELP. this is why some of the comments. don’t make any fucking sense.)

romance books and authors:

CONTEMPORARY:

1. The Bromance bookclub series by Lyssa Kay Adams (A group of men form a bookclub dedicated to romance books in order to understand women, improve their relationships and become better men. It’s funny, cute, and all about dismantling toxic masculinity one romance book at a time)

2. Mariana Zapata books (The queen of slowburn romance. The only book I’ve read by her is ‘Under Locke’, but ‘From Lukov with love’ and ‘Kulti’ have rave reviews. There is so much build up and SO much sexual tension with a great pay off)

3. Milly Johnson books (A uk author whose books are primarily set in the north, these are total feel good books. Not so much graphic and more romantic, but her characters are great and her plot lines really hook you in.)

4. The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren (Super cute, quick enemies-to-lovers story about a bridesmaid who has to go on a honeymoon with the best man when the bride and groom get food poisoning. Obviously this means the holy of holies: fake relationship!)

5. Well met by Jen De Luca (Oh my gosh! Super fun, the characters are just wonderful especially our heroine. A hate-to-love romance set at a renaissance fair! All about overcoming the limits you set on yourself and rethinking your first impressions.)

6. Katherine Center books (My personal favourites are ‘How to walk away’ about a woman who falls for her PT after a near fatal plane crash. And ‘Happiness for beginners’ about a woman taking part in a wilderness trail with her brothers annoying best friend. She writes such great plots and you really feel all the emotions!)

7. Mhairi Mcfarlane books (my personal favourites are ‘Here’s looking at you’ about a woman who comes face to face with her high school bully years later - only he doesn’t recognize her. And he’s not awful? Don’t worry. I know how that synopsis sounds. He’s not excused his actions, but you also understand how he’s grown and changed. It definitely gets you in the feels though. As does ‘You had me at hello’ Which is about a couple from university meeting again years later. God this woman can write angst and yearning!!)

8. A part of me by Anouska Knight (On the same day she and her husband have been accepted into the adoption process, their marriage implodes. This has such a cute romance which follows hate-to friends- to love and it’s v funny)

9. Southern Eclectic series by Molly harper (Just as it sounds. Southern small town romance with a great, quirky cast of characters)

10. Maggie’s man by Lisa Gardner (writing as Alicia Scott) (An escaped convict kidnaps a woman from the courthouse to act as his hostage whilst he tries to prove his innocence. Surprisingly funny and warm. Maggie as a heroine is an absolute joy. They’re sort of chaotic together and it’s a wild ride.)

11. The Mister by E.L James (LISTEN OK - SIT BACK DOWN - It’s not winning awards but it’s actually decent! I was skeptical, but I will admit I was won over. I mean parts are cheesy but it’s so addictive. Basically a rich man falls for his cleaning lady - but it’s also about the yearning. It’s also quite action packed as there’s danger, drama and a chase across europe to get the girl.)

12. RECENT Colleen Hoover (Now, you may enjoy older CH books. Personally I find them very problematic. Now I’ve really enjoyed her recent books though. Especially ‘Without Merit’ and ‘It ends with us’ and ‘Regretting you’. High angst, high drama, dark topics for all of her books. But you can tell she’s matured with her writing. She isn’t for everyone but they’re addictive, fast paced reads.

13. The Austenland duology by Shannon Hale (You might have seen the Austenland movie - The cutest, cheesiest, sweetest, campiest movie ever. Well there’s a book! It’s about women who go on a holiday and live their own Jane Austen story with actors. The first book leans towards Pride and Prejudice and Mansfield park. The second book is more Northanger abbey and Emma.

14. Brigid Kemmerer contemporaries (She is an auto-buy author for me, especially her contemporaries. She writes the best teenage characters, the best teenage boys I’ve ever read about. Her characters are real, she writes about kids trying their best, struggling, and being good, and kind, and the world not being kind to them. Usually the books have a pov from both the female and male love interest. I would rec any of them tbh. ‘Letters to the lost’ comes before it’s companion novel ‘More than we can tell’. I loved ‘Call it what you want’ with has modern Robin Hood elements!!!! seriously she is my favourite YA contemporary author.

15. Sophie Kinsella books (If you haven’t picked up her stand alone novels then what are you doing???? she is the queen!!!! Personal favourites are ‘Can you keep a secret’ and ‘I’ve got your number)

16. A quiet kind of thunder by Sara Barnard (I love her ok. Her books are short and sweet but she packs a punch. TBH these aren’t primarily romance, they’re more just about teenage girls but this one has a good romance element so I’m putting it on here. It’s about Steffi, a selective mute who sometimes communicates with basic sign language who is assigned to look after the new boy at school Rhys, who is deaf.)

17. Meet me at the museum by Anne Youngson (GORGEOUS! moving, tender. A lonely housewifes strikes up a correspondence with a widowed museum curator in Denmark. Oh gosh. I just love this one. It’s about friendship, love, grief, second chances, the choices we make. Seriously love this one and it’s not that long.)

FANTASY:

1. Sorcery of thorns by Margaret Rogerson (Elisabeth has grown up in the great library, protecting grimoires with powers and fearing sorcerers. When a dangerous grimoire is released, she’s forced to team up with an enigmatic sorcerer and his demonic servant in order to save the world.)

2. Sky in the deep duology by Adrienne Young (A viking inspired story about a warrior who is captured by the tribe she is at war with. Such good tension and it’s also got a lot of action. Battle couple romance! Mutual respect! Hate to love!)

3. The Rose Garden by Susanna Kearsley (I’ve reread this book once but will end up reading it again. It’s a time travel romance about a woman staying in cornwall dealing with the death of her sister who is transported back and forth to the 17th century. It’s a favourite. The romance is wonderful but the stakes are really high too. I also love ‘Belleweather’ by the same author)

4. An ember in the ashes series by Sabaa Tahir (Oh god, the romance. THE ROMANCE! it’s so much. The angst, the pining, the longing. The first book follows Laia, part of a slave class in a roman inspired world. She begins spying in the top military academy and meets Elias, a reluctant soldier. This is a proper fantasy series with only the first three books out, but it’s so great.)

5. Alias Hook by Lisa Jensen (Let me just copy the blurb ok: “Meet Captain James Benjamin Hook, a witty, educated Restoration-era privateer cursed to play villain to a pack of malicious little boys in a pointless war that never ends. But everything changes when Stella Parrish, a forbidden grown woman, dreams her way to the Neverland in defiance of Pan's rules.” I MEAN COME ON. a gorgeous adult fairytale with love and redemption at the center.

6. The Mediator series by Meg Cabot (Obviously Meg Cabot is the most iconic and we stan. But this series is my absolute favourite by her. About Suze Simon, a kickass, no nonsense mediator - Someone who helps ghosts move on to the other side. Sometimes by force. She has to move house and ends up sharing her room with a 100 year old hot ghost named Jesse. The tension. The angst. THE BANTER!!!!)

7. House of Earth and Blood by Sara J Maas (a half fae half mortal girl tries to solve a murder with the help of a fallen angel. It’s a LONG book, but for me personally it flew by. It’s a big new fantasy world but the romance has a great build. Overcoming grief! Being normal together! Being in danger together! THE UST! the characters are so good. I ahven’t been this impressed by a new series for a while)

8. Cursebreakers series by Brigid Kemmerer (yep, she gets another mention. This one is a beauty and the best retelling about a man forced to relive the same season over and over, becoming a literal beat, until a girl from our world can break the curse. The second book, following secondary characters, is my fave so far. But both feature kickass ladies and those small romantic moments BK is so good at)

9. A court of thorns and roses series by Sara J Maas (a fae inspired beauty and the beast retelling. The only time you support a ship switch. Also the secondary ships are getting their own books and oh my god. I’m so excited.)

HISTORICAL/CLASSICS/MILLS AND BOON

1. Jane Austen (The original rom com queen, obviously. Pride and prejudice and Emma are faves. Also I have a major soft spot for the alwayc chaotic and underrated Northanger Abbey)

2. North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell (Actually might be my favourite classic ever. Often described at an industrial p&p. Margaret, from the south, comes face to face with the harsh reality of the world when she moves up north and comes face to face with a brooding millowner. There’s obviously a lot more nuance than that but. THE PINING!!!!!! THE MISCOMMUNICATION! THE DRAMA!)

3. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer (You might have seen the film. Please also read the book. Told entirely in letters. The sharp witted author Juliet Ashton falls in love with Guernsey and it’s characters whilst researching what happened there during the war. Funny, moving and romantic.)

4. The Veronica Speedwell series by Deanna Raybourn (A butterfly hunter foils her own kidnap and is paired together with a reclusive natural historian. They solve mysteries together. They can’t admit they wanna sleep together. The tension.......unbearable. See also the Julia Grey mysteries by the same author)

5. The warrior knight and the widow by Ella Matthews (So last year I discovered Mills and Boon and I have no shame about it whatsoever. This is a medieval beauty and the beast retelling about a woman being escorted to her fathers estate by an enigmatic and scarred knight. She’s hoping to convince her father to let her steward her own lands, and of course trying not to fall for her escort.)

6. The bareknuckle bastards series by Sarah Maclean (A badass, brooding trio of siblings who rule the underbelly of Covent Garden fall for smart, beautiful women. Opposites attract, Good girl/bad boy, strong women, banter. Super fun historical romance)

7. Redeeming the reclusive earl by Virginia Heath (I just read this and it was seriously cute!!!! And book where the hero blushes even once is a good book in my opinion. Basically aspiring antiquarian named Effie barrels into the life of a new earl - who really just wants to be left alone to be grumpy and sad and disfigured. ALONE. But Effie wants to dig on his land. And she won’t take no for an answer. She also talks A LOT.

8. A family for the widowed governess by Ann Lethbridge (Technically this is part of a series but you don’t need to read them in order and this is the best one. A widow who is being blackmailed accepts a governess post. She can’t tell her employer about the blackmail especially when she starts falling for him.)

9. The bedlam stacks by Natasha Pulley (I read watchmaker and didn’t like it but you might like it. This one also FEAUTRES A M/M ROMANCE. I know this list was super straight im sorry. Anyway this is about a botanist falling in love with a priest in the jungle.

10. The wilderness series by Sara Donati (Think outlander without the time travel and also not set in scotland. Basically Last of the Mohicans fanfiction about Hawkeye’s grown up son. An english woman moves to america when her father promises she can be a school teacher there. Little does she know he actually has plans to marry her off. Things get more complicated when she falls for Nathaniel Bonner, a white man raised native american and who’s daughter and extended family is Native American. Like outlander there’s romance, adventure, history. But unlike the outlander books the love interest is a decent guy (i say as if i don’t love the tv show)

STUFF THAT REALLY ISN’T ROMANCE AT ALL. BUT I SHIP A SHIP.

1. The Lacey Flint series by Sharon Bolton (Lacey Flint is a police officer who becomes involved in the hunt to catch a Jack the ripper copycat. There actually is a strong romantic element with the other lead police officer.)

2. The last hours duology by Minette Walters. A novel about the black death and a closed estate lead by a woman who’s trying to protect her people. There’s also a kind of murder mystery. But she also has a close relationship to one of the surfs that I got super invested in.

3. The Strike series by J.k Rowling (I know we don’t stan anymore but. This series about PI and his assistant slowly growing closer? Becoming best friends and partners? Not acknowledging any feelings for each other?

#books #book recs #literature #romance #romance books #romance reads #penvenens #romance recs #romance reader #historical romance #probably forgot loads

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badsext · 5 years

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Night at the Mausoleum: Klaus x Fem! Reader - Part 3

Warnings: There’s just some drug use here. I do not condone teen drug use, but this is Klaus. In real life I hope everybody makes safe and responsible decisions when it comes to drugs, sex, etc. Drink water, eat your vegetables! (end of speech) On to the good stuff!

Part 1 | Part 2

Word Count: ~ 900

The goth kids in high school were very impressed with ‘Ghost Girl,’ so you leaned into it and started dressing in all black. Although you weren’t winning any popularity contests, you found your niche. You even made a few friends, but none of them compared to Klaus.

Hargreeves began bringing Klaus to the mausoleum for ‘training’ regularly and always at night. He would increase the time by a little each week. Klaus’ screams while you picked the lock were devastating. Then the look on his face when he emerged falling into your arms and the terror he experienced as you locked him back inside tore your heart out every time. But the time you spent together was always exciting. You hoped he looked forward to it as much as you did in spite of the circumstances.

The ritual hadn’t changed much. You’d spread the blanket in front of the bench and share whatever was on your minds: art, music, poetry, and the occasional gossip. You felt like you knew each of the Hargreeves based on the stories Klaus told. You could listen to him talk for hours. He was also a great listener. He’d see you through your disappointments and relish your victories.

Klaus never burdened you with talk about the ghosts haunting him even though you wished he would. Talking about it might have eased his suffering, but he seemed to prefer distractions, distractions you were happy to provide.

“I have something for you,” you said one night, removing an Altoids tin with a plastic baggie from the dirt in the planter. “I think it might help.” You had smoked weed a few times with your school friends. You discovered that it banished your insomnia and ghostly intrusions at least temporarily.

Klaus looked curious, but skeptical as you packed the dried leaves into the little glass pipe. He waited patiently as you suddenly remembered to pull your hair back into a ponytail. He watched intently as you lit the contents and inhaled. Then his eyes followed the smoke escaping your lips as you exhaled. He had observed you many times before, but this time his gaze felt..different.

When it was his turn, he inhaled deeply, coughing about as much as expected, then laughing at himself, which caused him to cough even more. Klaus was your best friend. He was funny, clever, kind, and so beautiful sitting there bathed in the moonlight. Your heart wanted to know him as more than a friend.

You passed the smoke back and forth until it was gone. “Hey, I think it’s helping. I don’t see them anymore and their voices are fading. Hey, have my hands always been this big?” Klaus whispered. You laughed. Maybe Klaus was a bit high, even this, his first time.

“I think I want to try something…Do you mind?, “ he asked. You agreed, having no idea what he was talking about and feeling a little high yourself. Klaus leaned forward with his hands down on the blanket, and kissed you. A sudden rush of endorphins flooded your whole body and all the synapses in your brain lit up like a Christmas Tree. The perfection of his lips, so warm and soft, made you melt into euphoria. You threaded your fingers gently through his hair and held him there a moment. He backed up slowly and his thick eyelashes fluttered open. His green eyes were dilated. You read somewhere that the eyes dilate because of love…but they also dilate because of drugs. Having to speculate about the reason made you nervous, so nervous you looked away and began rifling through you backpack. Klaus looked down.

"Stand up. We need to make sure your clothes don’t smell like weed.” You pulled out a spray bottle and proceeded to spray him down with it.

“What is it?”

“Vodka. When it evaporates, it takes the weed smell with it.”

“Can we drink it?”

“It’s the cheapest kind they had. It’s actually really disgusting.”

You pinched the middle of his shirt and tugged the fabric back and forth a few times to air it out. Touching was never awkward between the two of you, but suddenly Klaus wiggled out of your grasp. He was smiling. “That, um…tickles,” he said, running a hand through his dark curls.

“I barely touched you.”

“Yep, and you won’t catch me either!, he dared and then took off running, snaking around the rows of tombstones like it was an obstacle course. The chase was on. He was a surprisingly fast runner, with his own chaotic style, always looking like he was about to trip.

You finally caught up with him, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him in close. "Gotcha!” Both of you were looking at each other, panting when a beeping sound startled you both.

“Shit, what’s that?” Klaus was panicked.

“Oh, it’s the alarm I set before we got high. I was scared we’d lose track of time.” You ran back to your bag and retrieved a bottle of water and hand sanitizer. “Here, wash your mouth out and clean your hands. It’s time to go back.” He obeyed.

“One day I’m going to stop going back,” his face was suddenly very serious.

“I know, Klaus,” you replied, hugging him tight. He grabbed your hand as you walked back down the path leading to the familiar stone crypt. Leaving Klaus was different this time…calm and bittersweet. It was only after, on your journey back up the hill that you felt the sting of regret.

@moorehollandplz @vinawyatt @helena-way07 @bubblyani @bi-satanist @dandycandy75 @siriuslynore @deadlynyghtshayde @zombiedixon89 @living-for-romance @cottagecompanion @ringpopdust @stressedbisexualmess @eli-gere @queenboosha @affection-rabbit @pwoperbrownie @theladywholivesonthemoon @deadlynyxfics @oplunket16 @immirandaq @yeet-ya-later @jay-the-yey @jupitercrxsh @renaissance-mama @peggy1999 @ourbvbsleepingwithsirens @oxoxo0

#klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves fanfic #klaus x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves #klaus in the mausoleum #tua imagines #tua fanfic #tua series #klaus hargreeves series

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laceyabyss · 4 years

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Reverse Harem Anime Recommendations

I’m not quite clued in on new anime but from my experience, reverse harem anime don’t seem to be trending (They just don’t seem to be making new ones!!!???). As a littl’un I’ve been finding it difficult to find good reverse harem anime so here, recommendations for those of you who are finding it difficult:

(These are all my personal opinions, therefore they may not suit everyone out there, don’t take my word for it.)

Diabolik Lovers

The classic Diabolik Lovers, needless to say art is top-notch, loads of ikemen to drool over.

Plot: Favorite cliche of girl in the clutches of vampire brothers.

Reason for recommendation: Well, tons of ikemen vampires for one. There is some semblance of plot AKA something interesting actually does go on and it’s not just a ton of guys chasing a girl (though that does stand out as a main theme here). The MC is weak (Yeah, I’m not gonna hide that) BUT she does have personality which is something, escpecially in reverse harem anime. There are 2 seasons - so more ikemen (They just get better and better) and for those who like slightly deranged characters with shady morals, this is the one for you.

The only thing: there’s no season three, so if you want more, you’ll have to buy the video game.

Amnesia

I’d say this is another classic in the circle, but there are quite a lot of bad reviews of it, so why am I recommending it? 1. The art again is pretty top-notch for a reverse harem anime (Loads of Ikemen) 2. The OP Zoetrope is actually really good.

Plot: MC wakes up with no memories, goes on a journey to regain memories whilst meeting handsome guys.

Reason for recommendation: Thought the plot sounds pretty cliche (Well, ok, it is), the story turns out to be a whole lot darker and deeper. Each male lead has their own ‘difficulties’, and as a whole it just made an impact on me, as in I wanted to buy the video game after watching the anime.

The only thing: The Plot may seem jumbled and inconsistent due to it being adapted from an otome game, and the story does not reach a conclusion (That’s probably why there are a ton of bad reviews). There are elements of romance, but it’s not as strong as some other anime e.g Diabolik Lovers.

Akatsuki no yona

Another classic whoooo! Artwork: great, Music: hmmmm, eh? (For me at least, OPs and EDs are pretty important to me).

Plot: Princess finding mythical dragons (ikemen) to save her country.

Reason for recommendation: PLOT, there’s an actual PLOT forgoodnesssake! Yep, there is actually logic behind the events that occur, and there are reasons for each guy to like her (they don’t just fall in love with her magically). There is character development especially for the MC, it’s amazing really. The world the story’s set in is quite unique as well - historical + mythical dragons.

The only thing: Well, you have to bear with the MC, she is quite selfish and ‘spoilt’ at the beginning, and I guess in some ways, it is quite slow to start (romance aspect, character development).

Kamigami no asobi

This one probably doesn’t class as a classic, but I throughly throughly enjoyed it. Art: Again, amazing ikemen, Music: Can’t quite remember but does it matter?

Plot: Magic sword transports MC to a different world with roman gods at school.

Reason for recommendation: Plot successfully attacked all my sweet spots: Isekai, high school, roman gods. We have another MC with character and her own personality. Originally rather ‘mundane’ plot turns slightly dark as the anime goes on, and the male leads are not all generic, due to the fact that they are based of the roman gods. You get to learn some mythology as well! There is some actual true romance in it as well (Which is a strange thing to say considering it is a reverse harem anime)

The only thing: One season!!!! WHY????? I need more! (Get the video game) uhh.

Hanayaka nari waga ichizoku kinetograph

Like Amnesia this is another anime with quite a lot of bad reviews, so why am I still recommending it to everyone? I don’t know to be honest... I just stuck in my mind. Art: IKEMEN, music: Can’t remember, probably meh.

Plot: Maid MC working in big mansion, serving the young ikemen masters in the Taisho era.

Reason for recommendation: I’m genuinely still wondering why... 1. It’s set in an historical era which is quite fascinating. 2. Ikemen???? I don’t actually know, but it just keeps popping out whenever I think of reverse harem! Am I into guys ‘bullying’ the MC?

The only thing: MC is a weak character compared to the MCs in the other recommendations. Some of the ikemen get on your nerves due to their arrogant behaviour. (See, I don’t actually know why I’m recommending this, it’s just good in a weird way)

Hakuouki

This is a definite classic, and one I have a very strange connection to. Art: I don’t even need to say anything, music: pretty good.

Plot: MC searches for her missing father disguised as a guy, and ends up living with the shinsengumi. (Very very abbreviated plot)

Reason for recommendation: Haha, so this is the story of me and this anime. I actually watched it three times before actually finishing the first season. First time I only made it through the 1st episode before dropping, 2nd time made it through 3 episodes... Yeah, and yet now I’m recommending it. The plot goes from Eh? To OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS really really fast. (Don’t want to spoil anything but there are vampires in the edo period). Storyline is very important and heavy here, it sometimes requires some understanding of the policial ongoings during the edo period. Don’t get me wrong though, there is romance in the anime, and gaaaahhh the whole thing’s just sad.

The only thing: The romance is slow, you won’t see it right away despite there being so many ikemen hanging around. The MC is also slightly weak at the beginning BUT she powers up quite drastically in terms of character as the story goes on.

Yumeiro Patisserie

Slightly old anime aimed at younger audiences, but it’s just too cute! Art: hmmm, not as ikemen as the others but Cute, Music: can’t recall anything.

Plot: Clumsy MC who loves desserts gets accepted into prestigious baking academy.

Reason for recommendation: Again, plot. Can’t say this enough really. It’s an upgrade sort of anime where the MC goes from terrible at baking to... well, amazing at baking (Sort of similar to a baking version of shokugeki no Soma, though Soma was already rlly good at cooking). Interestingly enough, the Male leads dislike her at the beginning, but through the MC’s effort and quirky personality fall in love with her. The whole anime is generally really cutesy and healing.

The only thing: It’s aimed at younger audiences, so MC starts out at 14 and grows up. There are a LOT of episodes, so if you are older, you may require some patience.

A list of reverse harem that you may also want to watch

1. Uta no prince sama (Not enough romance for my liking)

2. Brothers conflict (too many brothers?)

3. Dance with devils (I dunno, the singing in it is kind of off-putting)

4. Meiji Tokyo Renka (The MC and plot are both strangely lacking?)

5. Nil Admirari no tenbin (Hmmm... the plot is slightly distracting)

6. Magic kyun renaissance (How do I say this? Just not memorable)

7. Kenka banchou otome (Just cringe)

#anime #recomendation #shoujo #anime recommendation #reverse harem

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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50 Films You’ve Got to Watch

Hi to anyone who’s reading,

I thought I’d take a break from the fashion posts to ramble on about something else that I’m really interested in for a hot minute. And I say ramble with intent, because I do go ON.

The topic is film and I thought that I’d make a list of my 50 must watches. These are movies that I feel had the biggest impact on me which means, yes, I do have tattoos referring to a couple of them, lol. My genre of choice is usually horror and although there has been a bit of a “horror renaissance” and a shift towards prioritising good quality storylines over jump scares in recent years, on the whole, they typically aren’t the most highbrow films out there, so there aren’t THAT many on this list. Most of the horror films I listed are just genuinely good quality rather than a straight-up gorefest or anything too terrifying, however, I’m not that easily scared so if you did fancy watching any of the films I mentioned, take that with a slight pinch of salt!

Also, this isn’t anything to take too seriously. I really like movies and cinema but I’m also not a movie critic and this is more of a hobby than something I want to pursue. Like, I’m completely aware of how unrealistic working in TV or film is as a career if your family isn’t loaded. Very aware. Painfully aware you could say (imagine me sighing as I’m writing this). That being said, part of me does want to do a ranking of every film I’ve seen in 2019 at some point this year, so if anybody else is interested in this kinda thing let me know!

Lauren x

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch:

1. Black Swan (2010)

“I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

I watched Black Swan years ago now and I still remember how disturbing I found it and how exciting that was to me. I was probably a bit too young (young enough that my mum felt it necessary to cover my eyes during the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene, lol) but even then I could recognise that it was a beautifully haunting film and Darren Aronofsky has gone on to be one of my favourite directors.

2. Jennifer’s Body (2009)

“And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.”

Engrave it on my tombstone: JENNIFER’S BODY DESERVED BETTER. I fully believe that if this movie was released in 2019, it wouldn’t have faced half the criticisms it did back in 2009. It genuinely was ahead of its time. Megan Fox? As a boy-eating, demonic cheerleader? And Amanda Seyfried? Some of the most ICONIC DIALOGUE EVER? It should’ve invented a GENRE. Instead it got paid DUST. Yes, when I write in caps lock, my internal voice is YELLING. I feel passionately about this, okay?!

3. La La Land (2016)

“I guess I'll see you in the movies.”

Again, maybe it’s a basic film bitch opinion to have but I adored La La Land. I saw it at the cinema and spent the last 20 minutes of the film sobbing, only to find my mum and sister distinctly underwhelmed. I indignantly ranted back then to them how perfect a film it was and I’m going to do the same thing now so if you are reading and you didn’t like it, then you should probably just move on because I wouldn’t want to read myself banging on about Emma Stone again for several paragraphs either (don’t worry, I’ll try and keep it to one). I can’t help it. This film was just TOO REAL! Like, in every way but the actual plot and characters, La La Land has the dreamlike quality of a fairytale. The colours are rich and thick and always complimentary, the musical sequences are either like Disney songs or lullabies, and Emma and Ryan Gosling are made for each other. But then life and ambitions and resentments get in the way. And that’s the real part! That’s why it’s so bloody good!

4. Easy A (2010)

“People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I’d be the dirtiest skank they’d ever seen.”

And so we arrive at the movie that actually began my love affair with Emma Stone. Iconic. Iconic in every way. The bad reputation montage is cinematic excellence. For real, though, this is so underrated as a coming of age movie. Like don’t get me wrong, Mean Girls is everything (I easily could’ve included it on this list but I feel like it’s just a given that anyone who grew up in the noughties loves that film) but Easy A deserves just as much credit. It has Penn Badgley, one of the few celebrity males I care about! Amanda Bynes! Aly Michalka! Lisa Kudrow! Did I mention Emma Stone?

5. Kill Bill (2003)

“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

If I had to put any of these films as my singular favourite, it would probably be the first Kill Bill. Controversial, I know; even my dad introduced it to me as the weaker of the two. To list any Quentin Tarantino movie as the one that inspired you to want to be a director is probably a very cliche film student thing to say BUT I’m not a film student and I’ve put my directing pipe dream permanently to one side, thus, coming from me it’s not as hackneyed a statement. Or so I tell myself, lol. Basically, I was in awe of Kill Bill from start to finish. The colourisation is a dream, from the crazy 88 scene to the final fight between The Bridge and O Ren Ishii, and I particularly remember loving the animation sequence despite that not really being my kinda thing. I was just so impressed with how seamlessly something so out of place, considering the live action format of the rest of the film, fit in with everything else; even the scenes that should be absurd instead work with the comic book style narrative. Uma Thurman is of course amazing and iconic af but Lucy Liu as O Ren Ishii is my favourite thing about this film and the line I chose gave me all the bad bitch energy I need to, I think, get me through the rest of my time on this planet. If not, the tattooed version of this still I have on my arm should hopefully do the job. Yep, I truly ascended to a divine level of basic film hoe with that life choice.

6. Marie Antoinette (2006)

“This, Madame, is Versailles.”

The first Sofia Coppola film on this list, I love this woman’s work to death. Regardless of the content she’s working with, the end result always gives me the feeling I’m watching an extended music video. They always have this almost dreamlike quality to them and everything from the colour palette to the camera movements to the soundtrack in Marie Antoinette is tied together perfectly.

7. Mother! (2017)

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

I was tense throughout the entirety of Mother. As a socially anxious, obsessively tidy control freak, this whole film was like something from one of my nightmares; think unwanted house party on crack. I was mentally screaming along with Jennifer Lawrence for all of those people to get out, whilst simultaneously just staring at her face because she is so fucking gorgeous! Even when she’s completely lost it! Totally unrealistic but it makes for some really pretty shots! And then there’s the ending which left me kind of like “what the fuck did I just watch?” Which is what Darren Aronofsky films do best. They’re terrifying but also quite beautiful and Mother is no exception.

8. Gerald’s Game (2017)

“Everybody's got a little corner in there somewhere. A button they won't admit they want pressed.”

I finally got round to watching this for the first time the other day and I absolutely loved it. It probably helps that the last Stephen King adaptation I saw was Pet Sematary, so despite the praise this got at the time, my expectations weren’t super high, but I think this really is a perfect horror film. It’s clever, doesn’t rely on jump scares, and the creepy scenes that are in there really get under your skin. It drags a little in the middle though it’s beautifully shot, acted and has one of the few “body horror” scenes in a horror that’s actually made me cringe.

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

I don’t want to say too much about this film and spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that it’s incredible. Devastatingly sad but also wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and solidified my interest in psychology! I could watch Jennifer Connelly all day.

10. Alien (1979)

“This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.”

As a horror fan, I don’t think I need to explain why this film’s on the list. It’s been raved about and video essayed and called a pioneer of the genre ad nauseam. Again, not that this is really anything new but part of what I love about this movie is the context of its release and success; before Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal of Ellen Ripley, it was a rare occurrence to have a female protagonist in an action-based movie. Alien really paved the way for women to take up space in a previously male-dominated genre.

11. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.”

I saw this for the first time at the cinema and pretty much went in blind. I hadn’t seen Cloverfield but I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3 was always my favourite of the franchise, lol) and there wasn’t really anything else on worth seeing, so my sister and I chose this and it was an experience. Like, of all the films on this list, this is probably the one that had me most on edge and I’m not sure watching it on your laptop on Putlocker will do it justice. You need the curtains pulled to, the volume way up and complete silence.

12. American Psycho (2000)

“Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!”

There isn’t a dull moment in American Psycho. Every line is quotable and every scene is straight to the point. I feel like this film is a masterclass in that Stanley Kubrick quote about editing where he says he liked to get rid of everything that was not absolutely vital to advancing the plot or the audience’s understanding of the character in any way. Plus, the ending is trippy af! Or maybe I’m just a bit oblivious to something that was quite obvious throughout, who knows. Either way, what the final scenes really mean are fun to think about.

13. The Descent (2005)

“I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.”

Okay, so I literally just watched this the other day and had to begrudgingly remove Silent Hill to make space for it (I KNOW it was critically panned and I KNOW the video game is better but I liked the visuals, OKAY!?) because The Descent is truly one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen. Before we even get to the supernatural element of the creatures, which are genuinely creepy for once, there’s a party bag of other phobia-inducing sequences that had me emotionally exhausted within the first half hour alone. Claustrophobia, darkness, heights, actual cringeworthy body horror, The Descent has something for everyone. The way it utilises space (or lack of for that matter) and darkness and panicked camera pans makes you feel as if you are really down in the cave with the characters. To add to that, I was actually rooting for all of them too; it probably helped that they were English rather than the typical American slasher cast but I found them to be a believable and likeable group of women. I truly did want them all to get out alive *spoilers*, which only made the ending all the more devastating and although the general narrative is quite predictable, the way in which things get wrapped up left just the right amount of shocks and questions to leave you reeling.

14. Eighth Grade (2018)

“Gucci.”

No film has ever captured what it’s like having social anxiety during “high school” (it’s called secondary school here in England, I know, but you get me) better than Eighth Grade. A tribute to the feeling of never quite fitting in and wishing you knew how to do what everyone else seems to be able to do naturally, it encapsulates that awkwardness with an accuracy that is really impressive considering that 1. it’s Bo Burnham’s first film, and 2. he’s not...like...a 13 year old girl. It is just as funny as it is sad and Elsie Fisher is great and so, so believable. Girl should’ve won some kind of Oscar.

15. American Beauty (1999)

“I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.”

I wavered on whether or not to include this film on the list due to the Kevin Spacey controversy and decided that I had to with the disclaimer that I watched it quite some time before the stories about him came out and won’t ever watch any of the new things he inevitably ends up doing (because Hollywood has a notoriously short memory when it comes to the actions of disgraced male actors, lol). You can’t deny the amount of talent and skill that went into making a film so graceful and elegant and yet in equal parts unnerving, and I don’t think we should refuse to acknowledge the achievements of everyone else on that set because of Spacey’s behaviour.

16. Bandersnatch (2018)

“The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things. We can't choose differently with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.”

As I was watching/playing through Bandersnatch, I didn’t necessarily love it. I think I’m echoing a common sentiment when I say that I was kinda confused. I was desperately trying to *spoiler* avoid the option of the protagonist murdering their dad (he seemed like a nice guy!?) but somehow always ended up there by their logic. So I watched most of the endings and then I went on and busied myself for the rest of the evening. AND I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. One minute I was completely deluding myself into believing the whole parallel universes thing was true and that I should test it out (don’t ask), and then the next I was thinking how disturbing it was that we’d been basically been inside the head of a person experiencing a mental breakdown severe enough for them murdering their dad, who had only ever wanted to help when you think about it objectively, to seem rational. The confusion started making sense within the context of the experience of the protagonist and our role as the audience and though I hadn’t realised it at the time, I’d been completely absorbed in the episode. Maybe the confusion wasn’t intentional, maybe I’m giving Charlie Brooker too much credit based on the recent couple of series of Black Mirror BUT I can’t deny that Bandersnatch left a huge mark on me, and after all, this is the man who wrote White Christmas.

17. Get Out (2017)

“White girls. They get you every time.”

Going into this film, I was cocky. I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what’s going to happen in things, probably just because I watch too much TV, but from the trailer I was sure I knew exactly what was going to happen. And then, I was completely blown away. The ending was SO SMART, in terms of both the within universe storytelling and also the metaphorical narrative/commentary on the way our society treats black men and women. Like those early episodes of Black Mirror, it had me like “how the fuck did Jordan Peele think of that!?”. I can only dream of being as creative in my writing one day. Even little plot points like where the “police” car turns up at the end and your stomach sinks and you realise the intention of that is most likely to help you empathise with what the average African-American person feels in their day to day life when police make themselves present, what with institutional police brutality and racial profiling; it’s clear so much thought went into this script.

18. Ghost Stories (2017)

“It's funny, isn't it? How it's always the last key that unlocks everything.”

I don’t have all too much to say about this one apart from that I love a well-constructed English horror. I feel like it’s something we don’t do all too often and to be honest, I’m struggling to think of many English horror films in the first place. Ghost Stories is a great example of why we need more; it’s smart and spooky and folky without hitting you over the head with all those elements and Andy Nyman is a perfect lead. Love a bit of Martin Freeman too.

19. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

“Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified.”

Maybe this is the 13 year old black and white Tumblr girl in me jumping out but I still adore this film. I know it’s not necessarily the most critically well received but Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie and Brittany Murphy are 3 of my favourite actresses and I do love the script. I also like the way that Borderline Personality Disorder was characterised in Winona’s character Susanna (I’m wavering on whether to call her a character as if I recall correctly the book was based on the author’s real experience) in that it was quite subtle and that she wasn’t portrayed as manipulative, or aggressive or basically, as the villain, which I feel is usually the go-to. It focussed more on the mood aspects and the way that people with BPD tend to latch onto and idealise others, as Susanna does with Lisa, and these are both things that I have personally struggled with in the past.

20. Hereditary (2018)

“All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that fucking face on your face!”

It was hard to find a quote that encapsulated what makes Hereditary so great because so much of it is about what isn’t said, if that makes sense. It’s a lot of pained silences and resentful looks and horrified screams, and doesn’t that sound like a fun time? Honestly, it’s not necessarily, lmao. Shocker. It has you feeling like something awful is about to happen the whole time, deep in the pit of your stomach, but I like that in a film, when it does make you properly feel. Ari Aster gets slow-burning dread just right in his exploration of dysfunctional families and grudges, with a few heart-sinking shocks thrown in for good measure all without overdoing the jump scares. There are a lot of deeply unnerving ��supernatural” moments but there are just as many horrifically realistic familial conflict scenes that give you that whole “something is wrong” gut instinct in equal measures. It’s been a year and I’m still so angry that Toni Collette didn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, because it was really the perfect opportunity to break down the invisible wall between horror and critical recognition. On a more positive note, I loved Midsommar too (not as much as Hereditary but it was still a trip) and I cannot wait to see what Ari Aster does next. Once again, I’ll be in the cinema on opening night.

21. Heathers (1988)

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Heathers is iconic in every way: the outfits, the cast, the lines. I mean, the acting can be a bit iffy at times but I honestly think that without Heathers, Jennifer’s Body might never have existed and that’s a world I wouldn’t want to live in. There was so much choice when I was picking a line to summarise why I like it so much and of course, “fuck me gently with a chain saw, do I look like Mother Theresa?” deserves an honourable mention. You almost made it bby. The TV remake? We don’t speak of it.

22. Hot Fuzz (2007)

“The way we see it, it’s all for the greater good.”

It might not be the “artiest” movie ever but I’ve seen Hot Fuzz so many times and it never gets old. Though I used to love it when I was younger purely for the PG-13 gore, now I appreciate it for the absurdity and the ridiculousness and to be honest, the total believability of the plot when it comes to towns ruled by low-key hostile, doddery old white people. I should know, I live in one.

23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

“You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.”

I wish I wasn’t a hoe for Quentin Tarantino films (I’ve felt personally attacked by many a poundlandbandit starter pack) but I am. The breakneck pacing, the tongue in cheek dialogue and the gore all make this one of my ultimate favourites. Also, I have a huge crush on Melanie Laurent. Yes, it’s the French accent. No, I don’t know the mechanics of how that works. I hear someone speak French and I want to marry them! I can’t help it!

24. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

“Are you actually insane?”

This seems like a random choice to have on the list seeing as it was never really that hyped up, nor did it receive masses of critical acclaim. It did get positive reviews but that was about it. However, as soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. Months, and an £8 purchase from HMV later, I finally got to watch Ingrid Goes West and I loved every moment of it. Whilst Aubrey Plaza’s character, I feel, is an exploration of a lot of young women’s insecurities and self-doubts and fears, blown up to monstrous proportions (or maybe just mine, lol), and a 90 minute film about that doesn’t sound all that revolutionary, this one is as intense as it is stylish and darkly comedic and that’s what puts it on the map for me.

25. Insidious (2011)

“I like to call them travellers.”

So this film scared the ever-living SHIT out of me when I was younger and though I now consider horror my favourite genre and watch it on the regular with absolutely no qualms, 13 year old me was (not to use the world lightly) mildly traumatised. I genuinely couldn’t be home alone by myself or sleep at night without thinking the old woman ghost from the beginning was outside my room for a good 6 months or so. Like it literally exacerbated an already present sleep disorder to the point where my understandably frustrated-at-being-woken-up-nightly-by-her-panicking-daughter mother got me referred for CBT (to reflect on a time when I didn’t know what CBT or CAMHS was is…blissful, lol). And maybe because of that, in my mind, I still conceptualise it as one of the very few horror movies that has actually scared me, hence its place on the list. That scene where we first see that Star Wars looking red faced devil? I’d probably still nope out even now.

26. It Follows (2014)

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

There’s not too much to say about It Follows, other than that it’s a good horror film and more importantly just a really good film. I feel it’s a crucial, early part of this warmly welcomed horror renaissance we are now fully in the thick of where writers are focussing less on making people gasp and more on actual good quality cinema. It’s a simple concept that leaves enough room for you to ask your own questions whilst still feeling somewhat complete, and not annoyingly open-ended. The shots are good, the characters are normal enough to be believable, and the colour palette is Fincher-esque; the muted tones perfectly complement the feelings of dread that run throughout. Whilst you don’t need to be concerned with what the whole thing is a metaphor of in order to enjoy the film, the possibility of there being that second reading of the narrative, for me, elevate it to a higher level. In other words, it’s got *Shrek voice* layers.

27. Juno (2007)

“I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to…you know...an infant.”

I love Ellen Page. I love Michael Cera. Together they are the best thing ever. See, I’m not really much of a rom-com girl but I see this as less of a rom-com and more of a coming of age film with romantic snippets and great one liners. It’s sweet and whimsical and funny but also really fucking real in parts, and it’s definitely what I would consider a modern classic. If you haven’t watched it already, do!

28. Suspiria (2018)

“Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

Witches! Ballet dancing! Decapitation! Tilda Swinton! What’s not to love? As soon as I saw the trailer for Suspiria, I knew I had to see it. Creepy but also beautifully shot and scored, it was worth the 8 month wait from the Venice Film Festival and eventual caving and watching on 123Movies after I couldn’t find the DVD on Amazon; I finally got to tick it off my watch list only to like it so much I had to add the original Suspiria back on.

29. Mulholland Drive (2001)

“I hope that I never see that face, ever, outside of a dream.”

Another film which had me like WTF by the end, I really recommend Mulholland Drive for anyone who wants to be vaguely creeped out and extremely confused at the same time. See, I really love a film where you spend the next few hours after watching researching all the different interpretations and reading interviews with the director. That sounds sarcastic, but honestly, I love it. It’s a moody, film-noir style mindfuck of a movie and even after doing my research I’m still quite baffled. That’s the best part.

30. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

“Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, orange in the evening.”

It took me a while to get on board with seeing Marlon Wayans in a serious role (I’ve seen White Chicks far too many times, clearly), but once I did, I was into it. To be totally honest, I don’t think there’s a single happy moment in this film; it comes up quite frequently as one of the most disturbing of all time, which I’m sure Aronofsky probably thinks of as another notch on his belt. Whilst imo, that’s quite a grandiose claim, Requiem for a Dream definitely stuck in my mind after I watched it. Even if you’ve never watched the film, the ending sequence is notorious for how fucked up it is and I do think it’s earned the infamy. What stuck out more to me, though, was how purposeful every shot and sequence felt in terms of trying to let you into the character’s states of mind, the short lived bursts of euphoria and the panicked downwards spirals. I think it will always be one of the most compelling films about addiction for highlighting how terrifyingly out of one’s control it can be.

31. Room (2015)

“No one is strong alone.”

This film made me cry buckets. Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay are wonderful, and everyone involved deserved all the Oscar hype. Every line was so heartfelt and emotive, and I loved Tremblay’s voiceovers. To translate the stream of consciousness of a kid from page to screen in a way that it remains believable in spite of its wisdom (not like those tweets where people try to make out their kid just casually made some off the cuff scathing political jibe at the dinner table) is quite the feat and similarly, I’m in awe of how the director managed to communicate the pain and confusion of the characters on a level that transcended the physical confines of said room. The escape scene had my heart in my mouth. All this being said, I should really read the book because it’s supposed to be even better.

32. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

‘When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”

Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are two of my favourite actors and so it’s a given that Scott Pilgrim is one of my favourite films. It’s such a fun, easy watch and the video-game inspired directorial style makes it, in terms of cinematography, probably the most memorable Edgar Wright film on this list imo. The concept, based on the graphic novel, is quite a simple one but that doesn’t stop it being entertaining from start to finish. The rest of the cast is great too: Brie Larson, Anna Kendrick, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza and Alison Pill (Ivy from American Horror Story, anyone?) All make appearances, plus Chris Evans. He’s Captain America or something, right?

33. Scream (1996)

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”

The Scream movies were my absolute favourite when I was just getting into “horror” as a 13/14 year old because they were always pretty tame in terms of scares but nonetheless, always a trip. Though, controversially, I’d probably say I enjoyed Scream 4 just as much as the first one (I am a bit of an Emma Roberts stan), I chose the first one purely for how iconic it was and how ahead of its time. It mixed satire and horror in a way that hadn’t really been done in such a mainstream way before and made it possible for films like Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls to do so well.

34. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil, sorry, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead way, way, way too many times and I’ll still probably watch it again the next time ITV decide to show it too. It makes me laugh, it’s got lots of good gore and it’s easy to follow. The perfect film to put on whilst eating a take away, as long as you’re not too squeamish, lol.

35. Silence of the Lambs (1991)

“Well, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Jodie Foster’s portrayal of Clarice Starling makes her one of my favourite movie heroines of all time; quietly courageous, she was the type of female lead that really hadn’t cropped up all that much in the films that came before Silence of the Lambs. And despite its problematic handling of certain issues, it’s a fucking incredible film. The thing about Hannibal Lecter is that they don’t have to tell you that he’s always one step ahead, you see it for yourself (the elevator scene!) and so it kinda feels like he’s looking into YOUR soul too. The confrontation at the end between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is one of the most nerve-racking 15 minutes or so of film I’ve ever watched, and if I ever get asked to justify why I’m scared of the dark again, I’m going to point straight to this scene. Yes, I’m a baby but my fears are VALID!

36. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!”

As you can probably tell from my inclusion of Mother! on this list, I love Jennifer Lawrence, and this is probably my favourite drama film of hers. The way that she and Bradley Cooper portray two people struggling with mental illness is refreshingly honest in that it shows it can make you quite an unlikeable person at times, albeit someone who is just trying their best to survive. That being said, in spite of the subject matter it’s still a relatively light and easy-to-watch film. The diner scene in particular is a masterclass in realistic conflict and reaction, and I hate to be “ooo, edgy” but several of the lines did strike a really deep chord.

37. The Babadook (2014)

“Sometimes I just want to smash your head against the brick wall until your fucking brains pop out.”

The best thing that the Babadook does, much like It Follows, is instils a sense of deep seated dread in you before you even see the supernatural forces at work. The washed out colour palette, apparent emotional disconnect of Jennifer Kent’s (who also directs!) character, and the disorienting movements of the camera all help to create a lingering unease that is just as effective as the grossly uncanny appearance of the monster/ghost/creature/whatever-you-want-to-call-it himself. It’s obvious that Kent had a very clear vision of the story she wanted to tell and even more so that she is a very talented woman; I hope to see even more female directed horror films in the future if the Babadook is anything to go by. The way this film blurred the lines between the inner struggles of a grieving family and the outside supposedly paranormal influence was unsettling as fuck and to get into the psychology of a mother left on her own to raise a small child and how terrifying that might feel is something only a immensely intuitive and empathetic woman could do. Props to her.

38. The Craft (1996)

“We are the weirdos, mister.”

Not to sound all halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl (although that might actually be quite an accurate description of me to be honest), but if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind about the craft, it’s the aesthetic. It’s kind of what I aim to emulate in every aspect of my life, NBD. Seriously, when I was trying to pick a still, I was spoilt for choice. The rituals, the outfits, the witchy interiors; there’s this one GIF of Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie (and maybe Sarah?) lighting all these gorgeous candles and if I could walk around with it permanently looping on my forehead, I would. And ignoring my shallow reasons for liking The Craft, it’s just a really good film. Nancy Downs is probably one of the most interesting female villains of all time and I’m obsessed with anything that explores magic and the occult. It’s equal parts dark and girly, not to use that in a derivative way at all, in that not only does it teeter on the line of being scary, it’s also a gritty exploration of female friendship, power and jealousy. If you are a halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl, definitely watch it; more power to you.

39. The Favourite (2018)

“All I know is, your carriage awaits and my maid is on her way up with something called a pineapple.”

I’d seen The Favourite twice within, like, a month of it being released in British cinemas and I do not have a single regret about that; well, maybe a minor regret in paying over £12 to see it in the Leicester Square Odeon with the assumption that the extra price meant fancy seats (it didn’t), but on the whole, I’m pretty happy with my life choices. Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, and the period Mean Girls comparison drew me in but I came back the second time for the costumes, the dialogue, the editing and Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough. Or Rachel Weiss, in other words. See, The Favourite is superbly casted in that Yorgos Lanthimos must have known we can’t help but see Emma Stone as the “good girl”/protagonist and so it took me a whole second viewing to see her character for what she really was, and realise The Favourite is in some ways less a story of Abigail Masham’s rise to power and more the tragic disintegration of Sarah and Anne’s relationship. I’m sure you can view the film both ways but to view it as the latter brings a whole new dimension to it and the ending, imo. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t go into the film expecting some vaguely historical lesbianism and that definitely made for a slightly awkward birthday viewing with my family BUT I wasn’t at all disappointed.

40. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

“If you dig a hole in the yard, better make it a big one.”

This film is slow-moving, weird and the acting can be stiff at the best of times, and yet somehow all these things add to the (take a shot every time I say-) dread that builds throughout. You don’t know exactly how things are going to end, but you do know it’s not well. Like in his latest directorial entry of The Favourite, Yorgos Lanthimos excels in the realm of the strange and vaguely fantastical through his script, score and cinematography, and so even though the settings are quite mundane, The Killing of a Sacred Deer kind of feels like some macabre modern fairytale, the moral of which I can’t quite work out. I can’t imagine anyone playing Martin more unnervingly than Barry Keoghan and I’m never going to complain about Nicole Kidman, but it’s the imagery of the tears of blood, Steven’s children dragging themselves along the floor and the ending scene that stuck with me long after the film had finished. If you’ve got the patience and you enjoyed the style of The Favourite, there’ll definitely be something positive for you to take away from The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

41. The Orphanage (2007)

“Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.”

When I was first told by my year 11 Spanish teacher that we were going to be watching The Orphanage in class, I definitely didn’t foresee myself including it in a top 50 films list 5 years later and yet here we are. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised really as she did tell us it was good and I had frequently seen it included in lists of the best horror films but as with pretty much anything our teachers would put on as an excuse not to teach for a few lessons (I’m really NOT complaining here, they deserve the break and I would definitely do the same, lol), my expectations were definitely low. Side note, I also since found out that Bilbao seems like a pretty cool place and there was a reason she kept banging on about that too, and so moral of the story, teachers do sometimes have some decent recommendations BUT my assumption was that The Orphanage must be pretty tame for her to show it to us. Parents-even of 16 of year olds-love to complain, lol. And to be fair, it isn’t so much in your face scary so much as it is kind of tragic with an undertone of spooky but I really enjoyed it. I want to say that part of what I enjoyed about it so much was the mystery element but honestly I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it’s in Spanish so I had to work to follow what was actually going on.

42. The Ring (2002)

“I can't imagine being stuck down a well all alone like that. How long could you survive?”

The Ring does visuals better than any other horror. The contorted faces of Samara’s victims, the infamous tape and the shots of the well all have a staple in pop culture for a reason. Whilst I don’t find Samara herself particularly frightening, the lore and mythology surrounding her feels so authentically creepy; the tape in particular reminds me of the kind of weird YouTube video you might stumble across when you’re supposed to be trying to get to bed late at night and instantly hate yourself for watching. Naomi Watts is a compelling lead and though I was probably rooting for Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American remake of the Grudge more (I still low-key associate her with the live-action Scooby-Doo and I have no shame), to compare other noughties horror classics, on the whole The Ring is definitely the better quality movie.

43. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The Shawshank Redemption is just an unequivocally good film. On paper, it doesn’t necessarily have any of the things that draw me to a movie in it, but it’s brilliantly acted, written and shot. It’s frequently cited as one of the greatest movies of all time and I think that’s a very fair statement.

44. The Shining (1980)

“Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in!”

I love The Shining. In terms of scares, not all that much happens in it, but what we do see (the corpse in the bath tub is fucking horrifying) undoubtedly leaves an impact. The score is so unnervingly perfect that I can still hear the sound that’s made when we see those 2…puppets? Costumed people? Basically some kind of weird furry activity-which believe me, makes sense if you’ve seen it-going on. And I only need to see a still of the Overlook Hotel and I can immediately feel the sense of claustrophobia and growing tension that Stanley Kubrick so effectively communicated. A lot of people shat on Shelley Duvall’s acting at the time and whilst she obviously didn’t match Jack Nicholson’s energy, she did come across as a woman genuinely traumatised which is sad when you do consider the effect that shooting the film had on her. With that aside, The Shining is a massively pivotal part of horror history and I’m very excited to see Doctor Sleep this year!

45. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It really is a toss up between Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides when it comes to Sofia Coppola’s best film, and so of course I had to include them both. See, whereas Marie Antoinette could be the visual incarnation of an album like Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart or Charli XCX’s Sucker (if you ignore the less than fortunate ending, lmao), The Virgin Suicides plays out more to the tunes of something less bubblegum pop and more breezy and mellow, maybe LDR’s Ultraviolence or Honeymoon. You could say in a way that this film romanticises suicide and you’d definitely have a point, but I think considering the fact that it’s based on a book and was made in a time when we were less aware of the damage popular media can do (I think there’s a similar point to be made about the way the villain of Silence of the Lambs’s gender is portrayed and linked to his motivation), I give it a pass. It does also kind of make sense for the film to take this approach; the Lisbon girls are viewed through the eyes of a group of boys who are infatuated with them but also ultimately know nothing about them. In a way, it’s almost a critique of the way these boys think and a commentary on just how stifling and confusing young womanhood can be. I think it’s a beautiful film and a perfect adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel.

46. The VVitch (2015)

“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”

Is it sad that I have this quote tattooed on my back? Is it biased for me to say no? Because for me, just as much as the Virgin Suicides is about how stifling society’s expectations of young women and how they are supposed to think and act, The VVitch is about the demonisation of girls who go against this and how liberation and sexual freedom for so long were perceived as the result of some kind of satanic and deeply disturbing force at work rather than individual expressions of freedom and femininity. The ending is HAPPY, okay, and if you take away the misty, barren landscapes and the isolation and the paranoia and the baby eating witches and the accusations and the demonic goats, it’s kinda a dark feminist fairy tale to go against puritan panic. I mean, let’s be honest, *spoilers* Thomasin’s siblings were annoying AF. Not that I’m condoning child murder on any level, but you know. In a narrative context was it really so much of a loss when those little shits got the chop?

47. Thoroughbreds (2017)

“At the end of the day, I have a perfectly healthy brain. It just doesn't contain feelings. And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. It just means I have to work a little harder than everybody else to be good.”

I love Olivia Cooke. I love Anya Taylor-Joy. I love concise, cutting dialogue, the idea of middle class American social politics, and a little bit of (fictional, of course) murder thrown in there for good measure. Thus, I really love Thoroughbreds. If you watched it with the sound off, it’d be a Polo Ralph Lauren promotional film that gets really dark at the end, and what’s not to like about that?

48. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

“What are these people watching, people like me?”

I still haven’t got round to reading the book this film was based on and I feel like that’s something I need to get on top of ASAP, because it’s been sitting on my shelf for a long ass time. However, based on the little I know about how faithful a film adaptation it is, I think Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton were a wonderful pairing, and this is a film that’s all about the characters, so it’s a good job they were so well cast. Miller does a great job at getting right under your skin and answering a lot of my questions about what leads someone to commit the kind of horrific crime that his character, Kevin, does. Arrogance, done subtly, is hard to pull off but he nails it, and Swinton is very, very believable as a haunted, grief-stricken mother wrestling with the natural question of the part she played in her son’s actions and the scrutiny that comes with it. Not only that but from the offset, every part of the cinematography helps to convey the feeling of impending doom that builds right up until the climax. The colour palette in particular, which for the most part doesn’t stray too far from the mundane greys and bleak washed-out tones perhaps reflective of Eva’s state of mind, does a great job of foreshadowing what to come when it quite purposefully does take a diversion. It’s all about the red, apparently. Take note.

49. Whiplash (2014)

“Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is an absolute necessity.”

You honestly wouldn’t believe that a film about drumming could feel like a horror and yet here Whiplash is, leaving me on the edge of my seat and wincing for, like, 2 hours straight. Tonally it couldn’t be more different from the other Damien Chazelle film on this list (La La Land), and yet it flows just as seamlessly and has his same impeccable rhythm; every word, yell and snarl slots perfectly into place and every swivel of the camera is flawlessly executed. If you’re looking for an intense and fast-paced drama, I can’t recommend Whiplash enough.

50. Zombieland (2009)

“Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.”

Zombieland has only one fault: that Jesse Eisenberg’s character wasn’t played by Michael Cera. But it has Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson so I’ll let it slide. Not much to say about this one other than it’s a wild ride from start to finish, but simultaneously easy to watch and probably the most lighthearted zombie film out there. Almost like The Hangover or something along those lines, but with the addition of the undead. It’s a hard film not to enjoy and I’m just really hoping they don’t fuck up the sequel.

DISCLAIMER: 90% of these stills are from Filmgrab, it’s an amazing website!

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surveyjunkie · 6 years

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Do you own a dreamcatcher? No What is the last thing that you bought for somebody else? Food Opinions of That 70’s Show? I really don’t like it as much as I used to

Do you often find yourself talking to inanimate objects? Not really inanimate objects, unless I’m pissed at my computer, but I do talk to myself sometimes. What was the last book that you read? Was it any good? I can’t remember because I don’t read anymore.

Have you seen the commercials for Fushigi? No Have you ever painted a room? What colour? I painted my old room at my mom’s house teal Which flavour of popsicle is the best? Red Have you ever pantsed/been pantsed by someone? My bf pantses me on the daily, and not in a sexual way. He does it for fun and to annoy me. Lava lamps; yay or nay? They’re cool. Do you have the DVR feature with your cable? I think? We have the Spectrum streaming service so idk. How many drawers does your dresser have? 5, I believe. Who is the most opinionated person that you know? My bf, but I love that about him Movie theater popcorn is better than microwave popcorn, right? Duh When was the last time that you caught lightnin’ bugs? Last summer, but we didn’t have a whole lot which was sad. Do you enjoy attending family reunions? We don’t really have family reunions. My dad’s side of the family is dysfunctional and doesn’t get along and my mom’s side just does their own thing...so yeah. I get to see my grandparents around holidays and my cousins at funerals so there’s that. Have you ever been to a race track? No Is your closet a mess? It could use some organizing. Have you ever read A Series Of Unfortunate Events? Yep. Bobble-heads; yay or nay? Nay. Which web browser do you use? Chrome. Do you still listen to CD’s? Nah. Do you comment on stupid things that characters do in books, out loud? Not in books but in shows and movies. Have you ever seen the blade-less fans? Okay I just looked one up and I am slightly confused. Why does the dog always die in the end of stories? Because the author wants to rip our hearts out, apparently. Have you ever silkscreened a tshirt? No. What was your favourite cartoon growing up? Sailor Moon, Teen Titans, Spongebob, Powerpuff Girls, Ed, Edd, and Eddy. If you put ‘Count’ in front of your name, then you’d be? Count Tasha Have you ever solved a Rubix cube? Nope. Did you ever have a rock collection? I used to yeah. Do you have a favourite bromance? From tv or a movie. Rust and Marty from True Detective: Season 1. Buffy The Vampire Slayer; yay or nay? I never got into it. Do you like The Offspring? Love them

Are you a fan of delicious flavour? What kinda question is this. Describe to me your favourite pair of pajama pants. They are actually grey marbled sweatpants from PINK and they’re super comfy. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yes What colour is your wallet? Black and white Have you ever left a note in a book at a library or book store? Yes Do you tweet excessively? Not excessively. I tweet maybe 3 times a day. Have you ever been to a Renaissance Faire? Yes. Can you play the drums? No. Do you like those SkullCandy earphones? Yes. Have you ever been somebody’s photography subject? Yes. Have you met amazing people online? Yes. Would you be happy if I coloured a picture for you? Sure. What show do you think MADE the 90’s? Cartoonwise, Rugrats. Sitcomwise, Friends. Have you ever called somebody a hot mess? Yes, myself

Orange Julius is godly, yes? Never had it Has a music video ever given you the chills? Yes The Goonies or Stand By Me? Stand By Me, because I’ve never watched The Goonies all the way through (I know, I’m awful) Who is your favourite Lord Of The Rings character? I don’t know, honestly. Jimmy Eat World; yay or nay? Yay. Do you think more than six impossible things before breakfast? I don’t even eat breakfast. Why is a raven like a writing desk? No idea. Who taught/will teach you how to drive? Both parents, my driving instructor. What was the last thing that you ordered online? Food from Donato’s Do you have the emotional range of a teaspoon? I’m either hungry, grumpy, depressed, or happy. So yeah. Have you ever given a ‘World’s Best Mom/Dad’ mug? Yes Are you using headphones right now at this very moment? I was a few minutes ago but I took them out.

#survey

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daantaat · 6 years

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I was tagged by @opisthia thanks bud!!! <3

I’m tagging: @lesbiyawns, @winonalesbian, @supernova-supersonic, @catebelivet, and @margaretwindsor (there’s no obligation~ only if you want to do it!!)

name: Kelly

star sign: Leo

height: 5′2″

put your library on shuffle; what are the first 4 songs that came up?: Frequencies by Katie Herzig, Born to Be Needed by Tennis, Holiday by Madonna, Winter Sound by Of Monsters and Men

grab the book next to you and turn to page 23; what’s on line 17?: “Blomkvist shrugged and said nothing.” (hardcover edition of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson)

ever had a song or poem written about you?: Hmm not to my knowledge, no.

when was the last time you played air guitar?: Ah, I don’t quite remember :( must’ve been a long time ago though lol

who is your celebrity crush?: Oof so it was Sarah Paulson for the longest time, but since then I haven’t had a celeb crush quite as strong as that one. Most recently they’ve been on Sally Hawkins and Florence Welch, and I’ve been going through a Katie Herzig Renaissance and have since channeled my 2012 self by giving my entire heart to her and her music, so I guess she’s my crush as of right now

what is 1) a sound you hate and, 2) a sound you love?: sound I hate: [I’m keeping opisthia’s answer because hard same]: “the sound of people chewing loudly or smacking on their food”

sound I love: the sound of rain tapping against a window

do you believe in ghosts?: Yep!

how about aliens?: Yes. The universe is so big!! We can’t possibly be the only ones here

do you drive?: HA! lady_gaga_i_have_to_laugh.gif (I don’t have my license, but I have a permit and have been practicing... so... yes but not really)

if so, have you ever crashed?: Nope! *knocks on wood*

what was the last book you read?: Tell it to the Bees by Fiona Shaw!!! In my opinion it was a little slow in the beginning because of the world building and also because Lydia and Jean don’t even meet in person for nearly 90 pages. Also the book alternates between three perspectives: Charlie, Lydia, and Jean, and normally that would bother me, but by the end I truly cared for these characters and having the three perspectives really fleshed things out. There might be some tropes and I thought the ending was a bit rushed, but I enjoyed the book overall. Anyway I’m so excited to watch the movie!

do you like the smell of gasoline?: Not really. It’s very potent

what was the last movie you watched?: I finished watching Ismael’s Ghosts yesterday and by finished I mean I started watching the movie last Thursday and attempted to finish watching it several times over the course of a few days until I made myself sit down yesterday and watch it through to the end. It was very choppy and neither Marion Cotillard nor Charlotte Gainsborg were in it long enough :(

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: Y’know I don’t think I’ve ever really injured myself that badly D: I’ve never broken a bone or had a wound that required stitches. I did break the body of the nail on my right index finger back in elementary school and it was bleeding and hurt quite a bit but it healed just fine~

do you have any obsessions right now?: Hmm, not really. I mean I do like a lot of things as a Fan(TM) and I’ll blog about them for a while, but my obsessions have been fleeting recently, like I’ve just jumped from thing to thing and not really invested my time in things as deeply as I might’ve done a couple years ago. Carol (2015) will always be an obsession of mine though

do you tend to hold grudges against people who’ve done you wrong?: Yeah. I want to be better and more positive but it just be like that sometimes

in a relationship?: No :(

#thanks nikki!#mentions #my post #k.txt

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she-who-the-river-could-not-hold · 6 years

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100 Questions!

Tagged by the wonderful @janes-mike, @caseyk112, and @el-and-hop! Thank you!!

1. What is your nickname? People call me Kat and Kath usually! The Kath originally was just an online nickname but then my boyfriend’s coworker called me it this weekend so it’s an official one now! I just let people decide if they want to use a nickname I always go by my full name otherwise

2. How old are you? 23! I turn 24 in less than a month though yikes

3. What is your birth month? July!

4. What is your zodiac sign? sun sign: cancer, moon sign: aries

5. What is your favorite color? black

6. What’s your lucky number? eh I don't really have one

7. Do you have any pets? sadly no, but my parents have a cat and a dog back home!

8. Where are you from? Idaho

9. How tall are you? 5' 6"

10. What shoe size are you? 9

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don't even know it's a lot lol

12. Are you random? I am such a creature of habit it's actually absurd

13. Last person you texted? my parents!

14. Are you psychic in any way? the closest I've gotten was having a dream about my teeth rotting only to go to the dentist to find out I was having issues with my gums

15. Last TV show watched? idk if I watched TV this past week? probably Altered Carbon or the 100

16. Favorite movie? IMPOSSIBLE. Potential answers are Mad Max: Fury Road or Gone Girl

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Idk the name of it but there was a show hosted by Michelle Trachtenberg where she talked about haunted places? or one called "Endurance"

18. Do you want children? yes! probably no more than two though

19. Do you want a church wedding? ehhhhh not sure. Not really but also it seems stressful to get married outside. Maybe I'll say fuck it and elope at the Taco Bell Cantina in Vegas where you can get married.

20. What is your religion? theistic agnostic with interest in wicca (and witchcraft but I know that’s not considered a religion usually but more of a spirituality?)

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? not since being born!

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? closest I got was running a stop sign in college but I just got a warning

23. How is life? life is good right now!! really thankful

24. Baths or showers? showers but only because I live in an apartment. My bath tub is tiny af

25. What color socks are you wearing? I'm wearing those footie sock thingies for when you wear slides so like a tan color

26. Have you ever been famous? I guess getting voted to homecoming court in high school counts? pretty sure it was a fluke though I didn't like many people hahah

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? only for the money but so much else of it suckkkkss

28. What type of music do you like? everything pretty much? I suppose I don't listen to country music much but as a whole I listen to a wide variety

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope not really my thing

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have four on my bed but usually use two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my side

32. How big is your house? my apartment is a pretty good size I think for being in the city, it’s a two bedroom/two bath condo

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? a protein bar or toast!

34. Have you ever left the country? yes!

35. Have you ever tried archery? I might have at church camp once but I don’t really remember if I was good at it, I’d love to do it at a renaissance fair sometime!

36. Do you like anyone? I do and luckily he likes me too! three years and strong

37. Favorite swear word? fuck, it works for so many things. ass clown. bastards.

38. When do you fall asleep? usually around 11-11:30, I’d love to make that earlier

39. Do you have any scars? a couple leftover from the chicken pox!

40. Sexual orientation? straight

41. Are you a good liar? depends on what I’m trying to lie about

42. What languages would you like to learn? I used to be able to speak German so I’d love to get back into that! And then Spanish since I think that’s important as a person in the United States and I hate how bad I am at it

43. Top 10 songs? REFUSING TO ANSWER THIS

44. Do you like your country? Hmmmmmmmmmm. Yes and no. Currently our worst aspects are hella on display and I hate a lot of it. But I also enjoy living here since it’s where I’ve grown up and I’m interested in helping improve it. But obviously thanks to current politics I’m pretty angry about the state of things.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Oh man I’ve made so many friends on Tumblr in the last year! so yes I do!

46. What is your personality type? creative, type A

47. Hogwarts House? Slytherin

48. Can you curl your tongue? yep! just the hot dog style though not the clover thing

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Hermione Granger 100%

50. Left or right handed? right, though I can sorta write with my left hand since I tried to train myself how to do it in high school

51. Are you scared of spiders? oh my god yes

52. Favorite food? ahhhhh. Maybe BBQ (South Carolina style) or Tex-Mex

53. Favorite foreign food? Probably Italian followed by German

54. Are you a clean or messy person? v messy but I’m really really really trying to get better

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? go out at night and not be afraid. enjoy having pockets.

56. What color underwear? uhh blue? I think?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? if it’s a normal morning, Usually an hour. I’ll start showering around 7:30ish and then I’m usually dressed and ready by 8:30-40ish.

58. Do you have much of an ego? In some regards yes, in some no. I’m extremely confident in my work and what I put out there, but when it comes to myself as a person I have zero ego hahaha. Very far from it.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I wait to bite until it’s nearly gone!

60. Do you talk to yourself? I mean internally yeah? but that’s just thinking right? so yes?

61. Do you sing to yourself? mmm not really. I’ll drunkenly sing but not a lot no

62. Are you a good singer? NOPE LOLOLOLOL

63. Biggest Fears? failure, not accomplishing my goals

64. Are you a gossip? I try not to be but I’m susceptible to it

65. Are you a grammar nazi? I used to be a lot worse but for the most part I’ve relaxed, unless it’s at work

66. Do you have long or short hair? I have medium length hair on the shorter end!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? it took me ages to find a quiz that didn’t have a map with it but I was able to get 41/50 from memory in 4 minutes!

68. Favorite school subject? always was Art and English which has worked out pretty well!

69. Extrovert or Introvert? extrovert! to the fullest of the definition

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope! probably won’t because that shit sounds terrifying to me

71. What makes you nervous? the idea of failing, disappointing people I love

72. Are you scared of the dark? kinda? a bit of the unknown aspect of it

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? yessssss

74. Are you ticklish? terribly so but I’ve found the older you get the less people try to tickle you THANK GOD I will fight anyone that touches me

75. Have you ever started a rumor? not to my knowledge

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? yes!

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yep! though only a year or so off from the legal age

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope! I don’t think briefly smoking a cigarette, cigar, and hookah thing once each really count. Smoking is even a dramatic way to described it. Puffed a couple times and passed it off because meh.

79. What do you fantasize about? having enough money to be able to live in the place I want and have it furnished like I want, be able to travel everywhere, pay back my parents for everything they’ve helped me with, spoil the shit out of people, being able to donate to as many charities and creators that I can

80. How many piercings do you have? none! closed up my earlobes in middle school

81. Can you roll your R’s? I’m so hilariously bad at this it’s impossible for me

82. How fast can you type? I think last time I tested myself I did 90 wpm and 76 if I was typing on my phone

83. How fast can you run? not fast at all but I’m working on it

84. What color is your hair? brown

85. What color are your eyes? brown

86. What are you allergic to? nothing! unless it’s bullshit

87. Do you keep a journal? Tumblr count? otherwise nope

88. Are you depressed about anything? If I think too long about how we’re not doing anything about this planet, the lack of interest in gun control from our legislators, or the deaths in the Middle East that are at the fault of the US (intentionally or by us ignoring those who need help) I feel really helpless and sad. But nah not really.

89. Do you like your age? 23 is... chill. I think I’ve got until 25 to panic.

90. What makes you angry? EVERYTHING. Incompetent coworkers who don’t respect my job or process. Republicans across the board and a shit ton of establishment Democrats. That our Earth is dying. How people in this city don’t hold doors open for anyone. Wars that we support or won’t get out of or turn our cheeks to (as a nation). My inability to actually take care of myself/my laziness.

91. Do you like your own name? Yeah it’s cool! I like it more now I think. I also like old-fashioned sounding names.

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? I can’t speak for my very younger self but not that I can remember

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I’d be fine with either! I’d have to scramble if I had only boys though I have infinitely more “girl” names that I like

94. What talents do you have? graphic design, art, writing, photography, badass houses in the sims (jk I’m okay at it), terrible puns

95. Sun or moon? MOON always

96. How did you get your name? it’s my late grandmother’s name!

97. Are you religious? Not massively, I grew up Lutheran and then went to a couple of different churches. Went through a hard atheist phase in middle school. Now I’m most comfortable identifying with the term agnostic theistic since long story short I’m not against the concept of a higher being, I believe things happen for a reason, I’ve always believed in energies, which can be connected to meditation and praying. I’m currently researching wicca and witchcraft though I’m probably far off from identifying with either of those. Oops that was long I have a lot of thoughts.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I haven’t actually, though considered one in high school for a brief amount of time.

99. Color of your bedspread? white with black flowers and green petals!

100. Color of your room? white walls since I’m renting

Tagging: @thezoomermax, @dustinhendrsn, @jane-el-hopper, @littledancersun, @sweet-sugar-sunsets, and @the-most-beautiful-broom!

#get to know me #good god this took ages

15 notes · View notes

llamaloydwp · 6 years

Text

OUAT Ask Game.

I was told by @storybrookesims to just do all of them. So Here goes! XD

Snow White – Can you keep a secret?

Yep.

David Nolan – Are you good at finding things?

I think so.

Regina Mills – Do you like horses, and are you a good rider?

I like to look at Horses from far away, being up close with them makes me nervous though because they are so big, and I am a freaking Hobbit.

Henry Mills – Did you ever have to wear a school uniform?

Nope!

Belle French – Name a favorite or treasured book.

This is silly, but I had this book when I was a kid.. and I absolutely loved it. It was called Piggy Pie. I still have the book, but its pretty torn up its in storage.

Rumplestiltskin – Are you good at sewing or other textile skills?

I can’t Sew, and I have no idea what a textile skill is. So... probably not?

Gideon Gold – Did you attend college or university?

Nope.

Ariel – Do you have a collection of oddities?

I like to collect smaller versions of objects. If that makes sense. Like.. I have a tiny bucket and a fork. I’ll attach a picture if I can figure out how. XD (and yes that is a tiny peter pan in the bucket too. XD)

Cruella de Vil – Are you good at handling animals?

Yes! Animals love me. except Chickens.. evil bastards.

Captain Hook – Have you ever traveled the ocean?

I went on a Dolphin Cruise in Gulf Shores. Does that count?

.August Booth – Ever ridden a motorcycle?

No. :(

Mulan – Ever dressed like the opposite gender?

Yes.

Aurora – What’s the longest you’ve ever slept at one stretch?

When I was first diagnosed with Graves Disease, I once slept a full 20 hours. Thats when I realized something was wrong because I had gone all my life sleeping 2-3 hours a night.

Grumpy – Ever been known by a different name?

Yep. From 8th-11th grade I hated my name (Haley) and went by a completely different name. Teachers even called me by my fake name. So everyone literally thought thats what my name was. And then in 12th grade I switched back to Haley and everyone felt betrayed LOL It was great.. (I may like chaos a little too much.)

Ruby Lucas – Do you pay attention to the phases of the moon?

Yes, I’m kind of obsessed with the Moon, and space.

Emma Swan – Have you ever owned a leather jacket?

Yes.

Ursula – Do you have a good singing voice?

Hubby says I do. I don’t agree.

.Granny – What’s your specialty entree that you cook really well?

Manicotti

.Alice Jones – Do you paint, draw, or do anything else artistic?

I used to draw, until Graves Disease. I can’t really draw anymore because I get hand tremors. Same with Photography. But I write.

Tiana – Do you bake really well? What’s your specialty?

Pumpkin Cake

Robin Hood – Ever tried to use a bow & arrow? How did it go?

YES. at the Renaissance Festival. and I actually did really well.

Elsa – Do you have sisters? Older or younger?

2 one Soul sister @quidditygenesis and 1 step sister. both younger than me.

Anna – Do you wanna build a snowman?

I’m from the North. I ALWAYS want to build a snowman :D

Maleficent – Ever reconnected with someone after many years apart?

Yes, but not face to face. my bestie from WA and I reconnected years ago on Gaiaonline and I was so happy that we did. <3

.Aladdin – What would you do with three wishes?

Health, Happiness, moneys

Jasmine – Describe something that went wrong your first day at a new job.

I. walked. In. (My most recent job)

.Merida – Do you have brothers? Older or younger?

2 bio brothers. One older, One younger and 3 step brothers all younger.

.Jacinda – Describe a bad boss you’ve had.

Oh! There were so many! My most recent one, bag o dicks he was.

then there was the one at the previous job, real twatwaffle.

and then there was the douche canoe of a boss that threw a salad bowl at my face when I was a waitress.

I’ve worked for some Class A assholians thats for sure.

Lucy Mills – Recount a very good or very bad birthday.

My 18th birthday was pretty cool went to Branson saw an actual Magic show. It was neat.

my 21st birthday was pretty nifty too. Got wrecked and played just dance all by myself.

.Drizella Tremaine – Do you enjoy wearing short skirts?

Never. My parents had to fight me to “Dress like a girl”

Dr. Whale – Ever colored your hair?

I haven’t seen my natural hair color since I was 14

.Baelfire – Ever been bitten by a snake, or anything else venomous?

Nope.

.Jefferson – Do you wear hats?

When its cold.

Zelena – Do you look good in green?

I’m a Syltherin. so Yes. :D

Merlin – Did you have a treehouse as a kid?

No. hated/still hate heights

Robin Mills – Ever been on a bus that broke down in the middle of nowhere?

Nope

Archibald Hopper – Do you own a dog?

There is 3 dogs in the house, but only one is mine. I have three cats.

Roland Hood – Were you an adorable Hobbit child?

I was a hobbit child. Adorable? No.

Geppetto – Can you carve or build things from wood?

I once made a box in wood shop. :)

Graham – Ever been hunting?

No.

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withinthescripts · 7 years

Text

Season 2, Cassette 6: Montreal Museum of Fine Arts (1978)

[tape recorder turns on]

Hello, this is Zoe Tremblay, lead curator of the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. Bienvenue, welcome to our museum. This audio guide for the exhibit “Small Items, Big Picture” features assorted works by celebrated artist Claudia Atieno.

Shortly before this exhibit opened to the public, news broke that her body was found, confirming her death after five years missing. Across the art world, we are saddened to learn confirmation of Atieno’s death, but content in finally confirming what we had long suspected.

Before the news, we had invited artist, art historian and friend of Atieno, Roimata Mangakāhia, to orate this cassette. It would have been understandable in her grief for Mangakāhia to decline to record this audio guide after finding out the details of her colleague’s death, but Mangakāhia agreed to uphold her obligation. We are blessed and pleased she could do so.

The exhibit begins in the Desmarais Pavilion, second level.

[bell chimes]

Claudia Atieno was one of our New World’s most respected artists. Since the Great Reckoning, no one else combined skill, macroscopic vision, and subtle political rhetoric quite like Atieno.

I would like to start this audio guide by saying she will be missed. She has been missed for many years, really, but the pain is greater than before. It is real now. I didn’t think… [crying] I really didn’t think…

But this is not important, my feelings are not relevant to this audio guide. We’re here simply to contemplate Claudia’s work.

Painting 1. “Mantis on Branch”.

Look first at the branch. Atieno has used shades of lavender and green in the wood. Long, meandering lines of light colors contrasting the dark grays of the branch itself. These lines, like two pastel rivers…

I had hoped her disappearance six years ago was an attempt to revitalize her career with new ideas, greater ambitions, I was wrong. She just died. She’s just been dead all this time. We all just die, I suppose. Why expect more?

In her final years, Claudia had grown more artistically prolific. But as the quantity of her art increased, so did the quality for subject matter plummet.

I was with her often, in what turned out to be the final years of her life. Do I wish I had known they would be her final years? Would I have changed the way I spoke to her? Would I have broached different subjects? I suppose there’s no way to be sure. [sighs] I suppose it’s pointless to relive it, over and over.

I talk to her a lot. Our discussions about artistic evolution went from lively to combative in those years. She became obsessed with tiny objects and figures, finding microscopic details interesting. Searching for possible hidden meanings in the repetition and mundanity of everyday life.

With the exception of the parties and happenings which were plentiful, it was a life mostly spent alone in her home in Cornwall. Her lovers, including Pavel Zubov and Cassandra Reza, visited during times of celebration and merrymaking, they did not live with her. I lived with her during the other times.

I alone kept her from being alone.

Look at the mantis’ face in this painting. It is difficult to see it directly, as the insect is slightly turned away. I would like to tell you this is meaningful, and if you find meaning here, good for you. Most likely Atieno simply painted a still insect that she saw in the garden, because she was trying to keep busy. And rather than change her position and perspective, rather than attempt to seek out meaning elsewhere, she simply painted what was in front of her.

How many mantises have you seen before? What makes them interesting?

[bell chimes]

Painting two, “Rubbish Number 3”.

This is a wastebin with paper in it. With an impasto technique, it’s difficult to discern exactly what these papers are, but they appear to be standard and unbound A3 pages. We can assume they were old files or notes. A crumbled page lies behind the bin. Look closely at the crumpled paper. Can you read what it says? No. No. you can’t.

[bell chimes]

Painting three, “Rubbish Number 7”.

This is a banana peel. Looking at the Spanish floor tiles, I imagine this was painted in her kitchen. Atieno was, generally speaking, a tidy person. So I guess this is ironic?

Yep, it’s a banana peel. Hmm. I have little else to add here.

[bell chimes]

Painting four, “Rubbish Number 15”.

The final known painting in her rubbish collection, this is a wrapped stack of discarded newspapers along a street corner. It’s clear that these are the Western Europa Times, London Edition, but the text on the front page is not clear. All you can make out are the words “200 million” and “population”, which would suggest these were from October 1971.

Atieno talked often of the days before the Great Reckoning. She was an infant when our population was nearly eradicated by the new weapons of a great war, and by the toxic air, which took almost as many lives as the godlike explosions throughout the 1920’s. After the foundation of the society, those born prior to the Reckoning were not granted indirect contact with family, but punitive action was rarely sought in those cases.

Occasionally, she received letters and voice recordings from her grandmother, Renee. It’s not clear how Renee knew where her grand daughter lived, or if these letters were monitored for content. Renee was not allowed to communicate familial love or give any indication about Atieno’s family, dead or alive. So she simply told her grand daughter about what life was like before the reckoning. Foods they ate, like wild birds or boar. Detailed descriptions of robes and headdresses popular in the previous century, and even recitations of poetry she learned in school.

With the loss of so many libraries and information centers during the reckoning, Renee wanted to convey, if not love for her last remaining grandchild, a written and oral history of facts and tales that might otherwise be lost.

Look again at the painting of the stack of newspapers. Atieno was acknowledging the renewal of human life on Earth, and its new roles and rules. The new culture the society has brung and will continue to bring. The power of information and its manipulation.

You are one of 200 million in the world. Does that make you special, or insignificant? Is it possible to be both?

Atieno was always excited about the New Renaissance. After the Reckoning, new artist with little history to direct them had to find new methods, new narratives. Art had been stilted and interrupted for so long. It had felt like a luxury the world could ill afford.

But by the early 1970’s, Atieno seemed to have grown weary. In this oil painting of hopeful news, we see gray twine holding together gray pages on gray pavement.

Look at the painting for a hint of color. [whispers] Oh find some color, you really need to find colors!

[bell chimes]

Painting five, “Needlework”.

This is not a painting, clearly, but an actual piece of needlework, the only known example of this medium by Atieno.

When I lived with her, I used needle craft such as cross stitch and knitting to pass the time. I was never much of a reader, and painting for me was more draining than it was for Atieno. She could paint for hours without much of a break, whereas I often had to stop after 45 minutes or so to clear my head.

During afternoon high tide, I would go cliff diving to refresh my body, to energize myself for the more intellectual and minimally physical tasks of painting or drawing in my notebook. The shock of cold water slapping my skin woke me to a world with no thoughts, only instincts. My muscles tensed at every leap, calmed at every splash, and my mind was full not of thoughts or ideas, but feathers.

Atieno did not care for the thrill of a plunge into the sea. Her thrills came from challenging the rigid regulations of the society through her artwork. I suspect she often tried to keep in touch with her sister. I have no proof of this, other than the society secretary of trade, Vishwati Ramados saying this to me. Ramados once pointed out a childhood drawing of two girls in a garden, quietly talking. Claudia in the background watching. “That’s not Claudia’s school,” Ramados said, “she didn’t go there, see her sister clearly drawn?” [scoffs] “How would you know her sister?” I asked. Ramados cocked her head and smiled, as if I had complimented her hair.

Additionally, Atieno was paranoid that she was being watched closely by people. Obviously politicians like Ramados, but others too. She welcomed the stateswomen offices and agents into her home regularly, entertaining them with wine, food, music, dance and stories of her youthful debauchery often to the point of absurdity. Maintaining these amicable relationships alleviated any accusations cast on her of sedition or slander. Plus, as long as she kept her message abstracted in symbols and metaphor, Atieno could always claim that her painting was nothing more than a pig on a roast, or a vivisected mouse, rather than a direct poke at a specific security chief or geneticist. Indeed, she did claim this. even I cannot say for certain what her political views truly were.

Needlework was a pastime I never taught Atieno, she never asked. But she would on occasion walk past me in the parlor or outside in the garden, stitching phrases or flowers onto a linen circle. I had no idea, until the Montreal Museum showed me this piece, that Atieno ever took an interest in needlepoint. And I can only assume she taught herself the technique. She had no books on the subject, so it’s likely she found some of my needlepoint projects and watched my movement to learn how to do it herself. I’m not sure why she never asked me directly. I’m not sure why she felt the need to take this from me.

Of course, as this is Atieno, she was better than I was, taking my passive pastime and improving it to the level of fine art. In this piece, a simple arrangement of yellow carnations, she has clearly dyed segments of the thread to create a depth of color.

Pay careful attention to the simple dots and marks of blues and pinks and greens in the leaves. Not unlike some of the blots of color used by the impressionists.

Think of a time in your life when you were outdone.

[bell chimes] [tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

[bell chimes]

Painting six, “Housefly”.

Flies were common at the Cornwall house in summer. They gathered on bookshelves and around edges of doors and windows. Atieno strictly kept food out of all rooms except the kitchen and parlor, which is where she entertained, but this is not where the flies gathered. Even with the tightly sealed windows and doors that remained shut, the flies found their way into the home and could not escape. Atieno would often return from her visits to Africa or South America to a Cornwall home lined with dead flies, like spilled raisins, who had attempted to escape along window sills.

This painting is of a living fly, along the top of a leather-bound copy of Alexander Dumas’ “The Count of Monte Cristo”. Atieno must have worked hard not to startle the fly away. There’s no existing photograph or sketch of this fly, so either she quietly and slowly painted, as a very patient fly quietly and slowly sat atop one of the few remaining copies of this French masterwork, or she painted the insect in great detail from memory.

[bell chimes]

Painting seven, “Darkened Room”.

This oil on canvas of an empty bedroom depicts a small unlit room the the very top of the house. When I lived with her, this was the room I slept in. I have a closer emotional tie to this painting than you could possibly have, dear listener. I can feel those cool cotton sheets, (--) [0:18:31] and billowy pillows under my head and across my body. Atieno tucked blankets tightly under mattresses, and the effect on the sleeping guest was not unlike a swaddled baby. Nights in Cornwall were cozy and nurturing, surrounded by ocean we could hear only cresting of the waves and the occasional birds and crickets through the cracked summer windows.

Daytimes could be different. While she adored throwing parties and filling the house with her eclectic collection of friends, Atieno sometimes grew tired of the guests with little warning. As I stayed with her for months at a time, I found I needed to escape her judgment and chiding some afternoons. She would want to work in the kitchen or on the patio or in the living room and my presence irritated her. She made this known with a curt “I need this area to work, find another place to do yours.” So I would paint in the bedroom, or sketch, or knit. Sometimes I would take the boat and head back to the mainland, go for walks in the rubble of nearby neighborhoods. Searching for old photographs of families, just to see what families used to look like. Wondering if my family was still alive and what it must have been like back in the times of fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters.

I know the final generation was full of violence and tribalism. A senseless conservatism of culture and values which led to war. But I still revel in how similar the awful purveyors of destruction looked just like us.

The few photos I found during my excursions into the rubble often showed two middle-aged humans with dead-eyed smiles and proper Sunday dress, standing behind two or three children, equally dressed and hiding their teeth behind stiff crescent lips. Sometimes the father would have his hand firmly on the oldest boy’s shoulders, holding him into place as if keeping a balloon from lifting out of gravity. The mother would sometimes have her hand on the daughter’s neck, as if she was holding a glass of water and not a small child. Sometimes in the ruins of these homes, I found pieces of ceramic lamps or shreds of sofa cushions. Sometimes I found saplings or vines growing through the twisted grids of stove top crates or out of bath pipes. It was not uncommon to find remnants of bodies too. Burned or brittle. And all but unrecognizable.

I suppose these findings would have made for good still life paintings, and with better foresight, I may have taken my brushes with me on these walks. But given the proliferation of destruction, still uncleaned by our tiny recovering population, I imagine every art student with an empty sketchbook has thought to capture the grisly aftermath of a global devastation. But art is often just record keeping, letting us know that an apple looked the same to Cézanne in 1895 as it does to a grocer in 1974. Or a dog in a 15th century tapestry has the same shape and size ratio to humans as one today, on St Catherine Street right here in Montreal.

When I did find photographs among the shells of former houses, I collected them in an album that I kept under Atieno’s guest bed, shown hre in this painting. Of course the guest room she has painted is uninhabited, ready for overnight guests. Even if its pristine neatness does not exactly welcome them.

In the open space next to the chest of drawers you see in her painting is where I set my easel. Mostly, my relationship with Claudia was positive, friendly. She was chatty during morning and afternoon tea and n the late evenings just before bed, but when she began to work, she disdained my presence. I have been critical of much of her work in this exhibit, and I hope the people of Montreal Museum of Fine Arts will not take offense. Claudia could create color and spectacle unlike anyone. Not only on the canvas but in social setting. She was not herself a rambunctious sort, but her demeanor brought out the wild side of so many. She quietly encouraged people to let go of inhibitions, while she displayed little of the same behavior. I always wanted more out of the work, and I hope you would have wanted the same.

We now know she’s dead, of course, so there’s not much that can be done at this point. Perhaps I should leave it be.

I loved her like a friend. Like a lover. Like a teacher. Like the sister the society won’t let me have.

The tide comes in and it goes out. You’re either there when you need to be or you’re not, time is impervious to critique. For all her supposed fighting against the new society, the society still is. Her most minor works hang on a wall in the former country of Canada- there should be more for her, for any of us.

[crying] I’m sorry. Montreal’s lovely. The Museum of Fine Arts is a real gem. Claudia… is lucky to have her work displayed. Let’s look at the final painting in this exhibit.

[bell chimes]

Painting eight, “Guests”.

Here Atieno depicts a party in the parlor. Look at the third guest from the right near the upper corner. That, I believe, is me. You can also see her former lovers, Pavel front and center and Chrisette just behind Pavel. Both are holding goblets of red wine and dancing, the wine spilling carelessly into the air, eternally aloft, never reaching the floor. [chuckles]

No musicians are shown here. Often guitarists and singers would perform next to the non-working fireplace and the piano. She rarely had anyone playing the piano, as if she felt it too stuffy. Also her record player was positioned on the bookshelf, but in this painting, its usual location is filled with books. She’s editing her life here, I believe, as in reality she had few books.

[scoffs] I’m not sure what the guests at this party are dancing to. Based on Pavel and Chrisette’s presence at the same party I was at, I place this painting as March 1972. Only days before the last time I saw her. This was the last moment any of these people would see Atieno.

Chrisette, Pavel. Deputy minister of culture, Sanjay Vishwanath. The woman who headed the childhood detachment and development program for the society. Those two men who claimed to be marketing manages for the World Bank, but were most definitely private investigators.

I was there, in Cornwall, on Claudia Atieno’s last day alive. [fights back tears] Last day seen alive. It was in March 31, 1972. I suppose there’s no way to know exactly when she died. I remember the evening clearly, I had returned from the cliff diving to return to a painting before the party. She was in the garden behind the house. Guests were just arriving. I don’t remember this party, I remember a-a-a quiet dinner.

The next day, or the day after, I can’t be sure… I, I left for Paris to visit friends or Amsterdam, was it? The Reichs Museum, I don’t know I can’t remember, it’s been so long. Oh, I really should know these things. It was Pavel who reported her missing to the police on April the 16, I don’t know why he came back to see her or why she let him. It’s strange to mourn someone who was never a regular presence in your life. My friendship ith Claudia was characterized by long absences. We were either together entirely, sharing food and shelter, work and leisure, sharing everything for months at a time, or we were wholly apart, with no contact a tall. Neither of us being much for letter-writing.

I’ve grown used to never seeing her these past few eyars, when there was still hope. So why now do I feel so broken? Why does it feel like she’s been pulled… so suddenly out of my life, when in reality she hasn’t been in it at all? [crying] I feel as bereft as I would if I’d been with her til yesterday. As if I would if she disappeared right from in front of me. Oh wait no, that’s not right, it was in autumn, she went missing in autumn. I’m sure of it.

[tape recorder turns off]

Within the Wires is written by Written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson and Performed by Rima Te Wiata, with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com. The voice of Zoe Tremblay was Kate Leth. Don’t forget to go check out the amazing new Within the Wires T-shirts and Claudia Atieno artprint at withinthewires.com

Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents. Another of our podcasts I think you’d love is Welcome to Night Vale. Perhaps you’re already familiar with the strange desert town of Night Vale and this is just a reminder that we have over 100 episodes for you to hear, for free, wherever you get your podcasts. And if you haven’t listened to Welcome to Night Vale, go listen to episode 1, or any episode really, you’ll be caught up in no time, and see what you think. Hear? Hear what you think?

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to stop by the museum gift shop, grab yourself a souvenir book of paintings about [ineffective (hotel) coffee makers], pick up a poster featuring [your high school sweetheart], and buy a commemorative vase made out of [whatever it is they make vases out of. Wet sand? IDK man.]

#within the wires #within the wires credits #season 2 #season 2 episode 5 #montreal museum of fine arts 1978 #this episode is so heartbreaking #i don't usually comment on here #but dammit

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