#remrompride

[spacegaywritings]

Love and other Tragedies (7/7) “Why”

Summary:Remus' court case comes to an end, prompting Roman to make an impulsive, fateful decision.

Tags: death, suicide, bad ending, execution, corrupt government, double death implied, mentions of polyamorous relationships (remus x logan x virgil x Janus), sort of suicide note, remy mentions, flowers, implied sexual assault, attempted rape allegations, implied abuse, angst angst and drama af

Tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6  / 7 (you are here) .

Ao3 :     1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 // all.

  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

 Story under the cut: (Word count: ~1,6k)

21st MAY

 One last time, Mary.

 I feel really bad to do this but I think if I keep up writing to help myself, I need to start with a new book. Conveniently, you actually are about to run out. Still, I think our ways about to split. I need to start over.

 Patton and I are close. We are dating, actually. It is comfortable to be with the little prince of hearts. He makes me really happy.

It is important to realise that I deserve a healthy relationship that makes me happy. We both still go to therapy and Doctor Archimeda tells me that we accept the kind of love we think we deserver.

 I don’t know whether Remus was bad for me or wanted to be bad at all. Maybe he is bad for himself. He seemed really hurt.

I did not want to look at all the things they said on TV but I went outside to apply for a job on the side. I found a school course to take me in but I need money. I feel icky just thinking about the idea of taking my family’s money for this - I know I shouldn’t feel down about this but I do. Things will get better. Doctor Archimeda is really out to pull my strings and lure me out of my reserve. It is uncomfortable but change and development is disgusting a lot. He said that butterflies look really ugly before they come out and during their first days. It kinda helps to think of that.

Patton calls me his butterfly prince, now. He is my prince of hearts. When I tell him, he giggles and gets all flustered. He said I am the most handsome prince in the world but to be frank, I think he is the most handsome one.

 I really love him.

 About Remus..

I think I keep distracting from the topic because I don’t really want to write down what happened. It hurts to think about it. He looks so small when people question him. His partners sit on the side and hold hands or each other.

They seem to love him so much, it hurts me for them.

 Love really is something.

 They said he murdered someone.

He said it was protection.

Apparently, someone assaulted him and one of his partners but his partner is really anxious and scared, so he froze up while Remus defended them both. It was an alpha.

No wonder he was in a metal hospital that excludes alphas - even the staff is not allowed to be alphas. It’s a true horror story.

 The newspapers say that Remus would be best off pleading for insanity.

I know he is not insane. He is honest in his eyes.

 When I saw his eyes and he was questioned, I really did not want to be alive. He looks so betrayed. I understand that he said all these things.

I wondered whether I should write him a letter and tell him I am sorry and that Patton and I are better but miss him because he was a nice friend.

 I am scared of what he will say - if he actually answers.

 OH! Also, dearest Mary! I think you will be happy to hear about this.

 Patton went to visit my family.

It was quiet but it is sunny and warm here because it is May already. Summer is about to start, so Patton wore a dress.

He is scared of wearing nice things when he is alone because people harass him a lot. He was in because he did not have a Remus to protect him from others.

 I told my family I am engaged to Patton.

Things are fast but they are doing well.

 Mary...

I am scared.

I think they will say Remus was guilty because he ended up taking a high-ranked alpha’s life and nobody believes he did it to protect himself and his mate because they are omegas. They think they planned it.

I think it is because he is dating more than one person and that scares people.

 I think it is swell for him to have multiple princes. I just want him to be happy.

 Farewell, love.

 Yours truly,

Prince Roman, soon-to-be king of Patton’s heart only.

  3rd JUN

 Hello, friend.

 You are a new diary. I feel bad for replacing Mary but I think I need to keep writing. I.. I am not telling Patton. It feels wrong but he thinks Remus is bad.

He says it is wrong because he did a wrong thing - even if he did it for the right reasons. I - don’t you think it is okay to protect someone? They were not the aggressors, so why is it wrong to defend your own life when someone threatens it?

 I feel icky.

 I can’t talk to Patton about it.

 I will start school in a few weeks and for now, I am working in a flower shop.

I..I saw one of his partner come in. Someone had to send me home. I told Patton I saw yellow roses and got upset, so he suggested I look for another job if I am still too hurt.

I feel bad for lying but I can’t imagine feeling as betrayed as Remus. The whole world seems against him and his partners look so gentle. It was the anxious one. He is tall but seems timid - from what I can remember.

 I wonder how I shall name you, fellow journal. You deserve to be a named, considering you are my accomplice in this matter.

 I want to find the anxious one and tell him what happened.

Maybe I can tell them that Remus is nice and gentle and never hurt anyone. He did not get knives because Remus said they thought he would hurt himself to evade the sentence.

He said he would never accept a death sentence because it is a shame to be sentenced unfairly for unfair things and by an unfair state.

 I wonder whether he is wise or stupid saying all these things but he has opinions stronger than my body. (Yes, I started working out! I want to carry Patton on our wedding day! We consider next year in April. It is the day we three got really close friends. It means a lot to me.)

 I will write a letter to the court.

I can tell them how nice Remus is! I just don’t know whether I am any use. I have Mary (my old journal) to help me remember things but I am unsure. People will think I am too insane because I was in a mental hospital. They did not call it that but it was one.

 I don’t know.

 I don’t want him to die.

 The timid partner looked so peaceful. I bet Remus is happy with them. I think his name is Virgil. The others are Janus and Logan.

 I will talk to my therapist. Archimeda is clever and knows a lot of things.

  27th JUN

 Greetings, Friendo!

 I am still working at the flower shop.

They said Remus is guilty but some people are writing petitions and starting demonstrations. I want to go, too.

Patton says it is wrong. I asked him whether he would rather have Remus and his partner dead because a man wanted to do whatever with them. He was silent but I don’t think he feel different, now.

 I think I will call you Justice.

 Archimeda helped me write a letter. He said it is okay to support others but he recommended I take it slow or I will get hurt. He said I am too scared of losing people but that happens a lot.

How can people be so indifferent to this?

 I will send my letter as an open letter. I never told Patton these things in there, so maybe he won’t know. I don’t really care if he knows. I am scared he will get mad but I found new friends and I asked Remy if I could sleep at his place in case my engagement broke off,

He asked why.

I said because I am scared. He thinks it is okay.

He was the one who sent me home when I saw Virgil and then the stars.

 Yours,

The one and lonely Roman

  30th JUN

 Justice, hello.

 I think I am no prince more.

 Patton found out it is my letter and broke off the engagement. I visit my parents a lot more and bring them many flowers. Remy helps me with colours because he acts like a huge bitch but is actually a really nice person.

 I wish Patton was as kind as he is.

 Remus..

His partners held hands when he got the sentence.

 They will execute him soon. They think it is a waste to keep a young omega living if he is criminal already and refuses to become “better” and fit into his role.

The media quieted down. Some depict him as villain.

 He still has the mustache.

 I sentenced him, when I called him a villain.

 I will join my family but I cancelled the highschool first and left Remy enough money for more rent. He will get all the money I saved for the wedding. I wrote him a letter, asking him to give you and Mary to Remus’ partners.

 I will be a real butterfly.

And first I will be ugly.

Then I will be pretty with my beloved family.

 Yours,

Prince “Butterfly” Roman

  ***

[spacegaywritings]

Love and other Tragedies (5/7) “You can’t rush things you want to last forever“

Still human au non-siblings REMROM

NSFW mention! You have been warned!! It is heavily implied and I can only stress that Roman and Remus are two consenting adults who are NOT related in this AU (if you read previous tags you might know why)

Again: you can SKIP it if it makes you uncomfortable

Summary: Remus gets extremely close to Roman. Patton leaves to another block and Roman is in therapy.. trying to make sense of how much Remus is changing.

Tags: smexy time (implied), panic attack, internal biases, omega remus,mating, bonding, omega Roman, shady Remus, therapy mention, feelings

Tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 .

Ao3 : 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 // all.

  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

 Story under the cut  (Wc: ~900)

1st MAY

 Hello Mary.

 I know it has been a few days ever since I wrote into you. I am sorry about this. I don’t mean to let you down. Things have been a lot these days.

 Remus and I held hands again and he said he really likes me and we kissed more. He said he was upset at Patton about something. I don’t really get why but we can’t sit together again.

He started playing pranks on others and he keeps saying he won’t stay long even thought he has not been here for as long as I have. Why would he leave earlier?

 I am reading my fairy tales again. I have been in here for several months now but I feel really good. They want to take me to Block B again and Remus said he will support me. Patton cried but he hugged me lots and said he will try really hard to be good.

He left for Block B today. They have knives, I think. You usually stay there for a few days or weeks and then they help you live outside again.

 I really don’t want Patton to go.

I gave him my book and wrote my full name into it. I don’t think I have a home but my old address is in there. If he can’t see me in Block B because I am not stable enough, then he can still find me with my name.

 Remus said it is a special day and he will make me feel good, so I don’t have to cry so much. Adults shouldn’t cry and I turned older before Remus even came into my room.

 Feels so odd to think that he didn’t even speak back then.

 OH! I apologised about the mustache. He said it is okay but he looked really like he was super hurt. He hugged me and said he was not mad at me but at life because people teach others that some innocent things are bad.

 He is right, I think. Mustaches are just hair - they can’t be bad. Still, seeing them makes me think he is kind of bad.

Remus said he needs to talk to me tonight. I hope I can tell you about it tomorrow. His snuggles really help. He gets so excited to be with me that i can’t really be sad.

 He is my hero with a mustache, Mary. I really love him.

 Yours,

Prince Roman

  2nd MAY

 MARY!

 I am a man!

 I - I also know Remus is an omega now. I felt it.

He came to me in the night and we took off our clothing. Actually, he did everything and I felt vulnerable but he made me feel big. I can still feel him tingle on my skin. His touch made something in me stir.

 I feel different now but I am glad. It is nice.

He was so close to me and hugged me all the time. Remus smells so sweet. I did not know he was an omega. I think they give him things to suppress his heat.

 I think I hurt him and I asked him. He kissed me and we fell asleep.

I dreamed he broke up with me after giving me a kiss. I don’t know whether it was a dream or whether I was in a daze. He sometimes talks when I sleep and it wakes me up.

 I feel so close to him. He wears my mark but he feels so distant too.

It really hurts.

Life is so confusing. Love is so confusing.

 I am flying, Mary.

Is this a good thing?

 Block B will take me to see my room again. They want to take me and Remus won’t come.

Isn’t it illegal to separate you from your mate without your consent?

 Yours,

A manly prince Roman.

  3rd MAY

 Dearest Mary.

 I think I will stop writing you - not completely but at least as much. The therapist says I am doing really well and can keep journalling but don’t have to. He went through the things with me to help me with my feelings because I didn’t understand everything.

 It helps, I think.

I know I really like Patton and I miss him and being close to him. It feel very pure to be with him - like when you fulfil a really great duty and get rewarded!

Being with Remus is more intense. I don’t know how to phrase it. I feel drawn to him but at the same time, nothing really matters but us. It is strange and I feel selfish but it is still nothing I can feel bad for.

Picani said it is okay to love and have needs. He only asked me to be careful because he cannot control my life but needs to trust my with my decisions.

 I don’t know what he means but it is nice that he trusts me. It reminds me of dad. It hurts to think of him because I won’t see any of them again but it is also ... comforting.

 Remus said he will leave.

I thought he meant he will leave because I will move to Block B very soon but he will be removed from the institution. I don’t know why.

He is really quiet again and said something about justice coming from him.

 I get anxious and can’t breathe but Picani told me how to breathe anyway. This is one of these panic attacks but I don’t know why it scares me so much to think about Remus leaving.

Maybe it is because we are mates and I would miss my scruffier half.

 Love you, Mary. I hope I can still write into you even without Picani helping me.

[spacegaywritings]

Love and other Tragedies (4/7) “Change”

Still REMROM -  Dead dove DO NOT EAT!

Tags: psychiatry, psych ward, therapy, kisses, remrom, snuggles, cuddles and somft stuff, food and eating mention, comfort, friends, royality friends, intrurality friends, romantic stuff ensues. food mention, eating mention, doctors, sickness mention, heat and omega mention, Patton is sick, allergies, implied trauma, implied orphan roman, implied dissociation, pessimism, hints of depression talk and thoughts, black/white morals, “villain” as insult, first relationship fights

Tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 .

Ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 // all.

if you like my work:  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Story under the cut. Word count: ~1k

22st APR

 MARY MARY!

 They said Remus will come back later! I am so delighted! My bed was weird without him but now I am happier!

Patton and I will bake him something nice, so he can be happy.

 He seems to like red things. I asked for fresh fruits but they only have frozen things. I can’t wait to see Remus again.

Patton is also happy. He hugged me really tight.

 We are happy royals and we will wait for our friend.

 Yours,

Prince Roman

  23rd APR

 Hello Mary, dear.

 It is really dark but they got Remus back. Normally, they should not operate this late but they promised him to get back today, so they did it anyway.

I am glad he is here.

 Remus speaks and we hugged a lot and he kissed me and I am very fuzzy inside.

I feel like someone lit a candle inside of me and it dances. He is asleep and we are cuddling but I can’t rest, so I am writing you.

 He did not get his cupcake but we prepared it for him. He can have it tomorrow. The kitchen is closed when it is late.

 Yours,

A happy Prince Roman

  24th APR

 Hello, holden maid, oh Mary dearest!

 Remus is still the fairest of them all! I ended up drifting off to sleep and I feel invigorated! Remus is really excited about the cupcake but shared it with us! We ate with spoons.

He said he does not get liquid food anymore and he ate lunch with us! He was on my lap and we snuggled a lot. We took a nap with Patton because they said I looked tired.

 I have therapy and I am scared of it but I will face it, of course!

 Remus goes to the same therapist as I do and he said they got him there by mistake because they got overly worried. I think it is wrong but I can’t really tell my therapist. I mean, I can but he can’t explain to me why they did what they did because of confidentiality.

I am happy it exists but it makes me iffy, too.

 I am looking forward to holding Remus again.

 PS: I went to therapy now and they said my condition is better. I had a really hard time getting up before but I am doing better.

 Yours,

Prince Roman

  25th APR

 Greetings, lovely Mary!

 Remus is back and I feel rather calm. Patton left for a bit because he felt odd. The doctors are watching over him. Maybe it is heat? I don’t know. Remus said it doesn’t smell like it but I don’t know because I never really met omegas, I think.

 I am worried and my heart feels heavy but Remus holds my hand and says the people know what they are doing. I laugh inside when he is there even when I feel like sobbing.

Remus said he would slay my monsters and demons if I needed help.

 He said he is no prince but to me, he is the prince of my dreams.

We will stay up all night for Patton and think about him. Remus said it helps if you wish your energy to someone else.

 I really hope it does. Not being with Patton tastes salty.

 Yours,

A hopefuly princey who found his prince!

  27th APR

 Oh, loyal Mary!

 I have missed you! It was only day but it feels as if years have passed!

 We pestered the doctors and they said Patton wants us to know he is okay. Something like food allergy or something.

Remus was right.

He is not much older than me but he has a few more months, I think. He is really clever about all these things but I know better stories than he does! His stories are usually sad because he says life is sad.

 It makes me sad to hear that and he said he will stop saying it but can’t stop thinking it.

He looks really far away when he says these things.

 Remus is a really sad prince, I think. He seems sadder than I feel.

 Things feel so confusing. Therapy hurts and I cry a lot but Remus is really nice afterwards. He sneaks me his dessert and makes me laugh when I cry.

My chest is so scarred inside.

 Mary, is life really this bad?

I wish mom and dad were here to say it wasn’t but they can’t.

 I don’t know whether cuddles are enough to make it better.

 Yours,

A tiredly trying and fighting prince

  28th APR

 Hello Mary.

 I am very tired.

 Patton is back and I could not be happier but he and Remus don’t seem happy together. It feels weird. Remus is growing a funny mustache. He said it is about aesthetic and I said he looks like a villain and then he got silent and left.

 We had lunch without him.

I really miss nice things.

 My therapist showed my pictures and I cried the whole hour. Patton cuddled me a lot and we talked. I have goosebumps. My skin does not have them anymore but I still feel the chilliness inside of me.

No matter how many blankets I put on, the room is still dark and cold.

 Everything is so weird..

It feels like all things are my fault and it hurts ..hurts so much, I can’t breathe. I might talk to a nurse to help me because it really hurts and I feel like I am drowning. My ears are rushing.

 Maybe Remus was right and life is painful.

 I don’t care. I still believe in princes. If they help Remus a lot and I am not so mean, maybe he can be my prince?

It is not nice to call your fuzzy friend a villain and I feel like bile tastes.

 It is not nice, Mary.

 Yours,

A dreamer.