#reminds me of when joe got super terrified watching scream

[andrwgarfields]

someone mentioned on twitter that these pics have the same energy and i…just have to share

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Sakura's First Guitar Lesson

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted some writing here because most of the time I use my a03. For Sk8Tember writing athon I originally wanted to do Fairy Tale day which is tomorrow. However, since I'm currently in the middle of changing up my writing style from first person to third person to try and be a better writer I thought that it would be for the best that I pick Instrument Day because guess what? Today is my birthday! I'm now officially 22 years old even if I don't look or act like it. I'm here to celebrate my birthday with everyone by sharing my new writing with all of you.

Songs mentioned in the fic:

La Via Strangiato: Rush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK1hmDpa8bo

The Long And Winding Road: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM

Let It Be: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4

Sakura Nanjo rocked back and forth on her heels outside of the music studio that she had her first lessons in. Since she told her parents that the thing she wanted to do more than anything in the world was to learn how to play the bass guitar just like her hero, they had been encouraging. Haru even found that he had a profound interest in learning how to play the drums. In reality, he wanted to do it so that his sister wouldn’t feel alone in wanting to try something new. He would never admit that to her though. There were some things that his sister did not need to know. She would never let him live it down if she knew the actual reason why he was so adamant about learning to play the drums.

“Sakura, if you keep doing that you’re going to wear yourself out. I know that you’re excited but it’s really starting to freak me out.” Her best friend, Miya Chinen, reminded her lightly with that same small smile that he often had when he was around her. He couldn’t help but find this childish and excitable side of her adorable. She would always be cute in his mind but especially when she got excited about the simplest of things. Like learning how to play an instrument that had always spoken to her.

“I can’t help it! I’m excited, I’m nervous, part of my brain is screaming at me because what if this is a really bad idea and what if I’m not any good at this thing that I’ve never tried before and change is terrifying and-“ He lightly put his arm around his best friend cutting off her word vomit. She only got like this when she was way past nervous and her brain to mouth filter failed her.

“Change is scary but it can also be good for you. You told me so yourself that this is something you’ve wanted to do for all your life right?” Sakura nodded her head nervously trying to stop this anxiety from bubbling up inside of her. With the recent diagnosis of aspergers syndrome she’s still learning to cope with the help of her friends and family.

“Well yeah, I’ve always loved the idea of playing music. Especially bass guitar because of my fixation on Rush and on Geddy Lee as a whole.” She argued and he just chuckled lightly at his best friend. Leave it to her to want to do something that could potentially become life altering just because her favorite singer did it too.

“Then I think that it would be a great experience for you to have if it’s something that you really want to do. It’ll make you happy and give you a hobby that you didn’t have before. You really need to have more hobbies other than cooking Saki.” She sighed knowing that her best friend was right as she looked over at the music studio.

“I know that it’s bad. But this could be something that I get really passionate about. I already know that it won’t necessarily be easy. Nothing really ever is easy for me.” She looked down at her skateboard tracing the end of her Haku dragon sticker before sighing slightly. Nobody ever did anything by being anxious about every little change that they came across. If that was the case then most of her favorite music would have never come to exist.

“Skating came rather easily for you after you got those grips for your feet. You just needed to distribute your weight easier than the way that you were.” Miya argued lightly hating that she would get like this sometimes. She shouldn’t ever have the need to feel sad. He preferred her when her ruby red eyes lit up with happiness rather than downcast and saddened like they were right now.

“Yeah that doesn’t mean that I’ll be good at this though… what if all of this is just me being childish?” She just sighed burying her head in her hands. Now that she had been told to stop being so overly excited the dread was starting to sink in. Her playing bass guitar? Yeah and the moon is secretly made of cheese.

“I don’t think that it’s you being childish. I think that it’s you trying to make yourself into a better version of yourself. You’re clearly not happy and you barely do anything for yourself simply because you want to. Saki you can’t know that you suck at something if you’ve never really tried it before. I know that you can do this because you’re the bravest person that I’ve ever met. You can literally do anything that you set your mind to. If you can dream it you can do it.” He comforted her and watched as slowly the light came back to her eyes.

“You’re right! I can do this, and I’ll be good at it as long as I work hard enough at it. I know that I can do this.” She clenched her left fist and shook it up at the sky daring anyone to tell her otherwise. If you asked Miya, this was the first thing that he really noticed about her that was different. He never met anyone that was as determined to do their best until he met Sakura. Her determination to defy every obstacle inspired him to push past his limits as well.

“That’s the stubborn best friend that I know and love.” He lightly teased and she looked down at her lap picking up the instrument that was there. The second that Kaoru found out his beloved daughter wanted to learn to play bass guitar he found the best one that he could through hours of off the clock research. He wanted his little girl to be happy and if this is what would make her happy and confident in her own wicked way then he would do everything that he felt within his power to do so. The guitar that he had eventually chosen for her was a lilac colored and sparkly one that he thought just suited his little girl’s personality.

“Shut up, I know I’m super stubborn already. It’s why me and Haru struggle so hard to see eye to eye because he’s just as stubborn as I am if not more.” She huffed a breath thinking about the argument that her and her brother had gotten into last night. It had been about something so stupid but it had just got blown way out of proportion and now she wasn’t sure if things were going to be awkward around him for a while. It had been about who was going to make dinner that night and Haru just blew up at her. Of course, never to back down from a fight the only thing that Sakura did was yell right back at him.

“He’ll forgive you eventually Saki. He always does you’ll go home and there will be forgive me cookies on the table for you. Besides he’s usually the one who yells first and knows that you will yell back. I’ve never once seen you actually pick the fight with him personally.” Miya hated when Haru would purposefully try and ruin her mood. He knew that he was just going through his own personal hell as he was still in the early stages of transitioning but he didn’t need to take his anger and aggression out on her.

“This one was really stupid though. It was just over who would make dinner since dad had to be at the restaurant late and mom was working late surprising absolutely no one ever.” Kaoru had always been the type that worked long hours even at the cost of not spending a whole lot of time at home with his children. He did the best that he could with the time that he was given and had mandatory time with them on weekends but the house was most of the time silent except for the twins. And sometimes they just couldn’t be around each other without a screaming match breaking out.

“You guys are the kids of Cherry and Joe, it would be weird if you guys didn’t fight constantly.” Miya tried to joked just to hear her laugh, which it worked. The first thing that really drew him to her was that laugh. That loud and open sound when she was well and truly tickled by something or the more quiet sound that he got right now when she was emotional.

“That’s true, come on, I’m thirsty all the sudden and want to get a drink before I have to go in for my first session.” She stretched getting off of the concrete and offered her best friend a hand up off the ground before she stepped onto her board.

“Arizona sweet tea?” He offered her that option and she nodded her head with a small smile on her face. She had fallen in love with her best friend’s sweet tea that he had gotten her addicted to after they got introduced to each other.

“What are you going to do while I’m doing my session?” Miya gestured to his backpack where he was hiding his switch that he brought with him today. He knew that he’d want to spend the afternoon waiting for his best friend to finish her session.

“I’ve got my games in here don’t worry about me. I want to spend the afternoon with you. You’re my best friend and I want to support you in any way that I can.” He encouraged her as they pulled into the connivence store so that they could get their tea and some snacks while they waited. This was a huge deal for her and he wanted her to know how much he supported her.

“You’re going to be amazing Sakura. I know that you will be because you constantly give everything that you can into your interests.” Miya knew that she could do anything that she put her mind to because if his best friend was anything it was bound and determined to do her best at every little thing that she tried. Even if she found that she wasn’t as interested in the idea of playing her favorite instrument as she made it sound both in her head and in the music she listened to, she wouldn’t back down without a fight. That stubborn nature combined with her kind heart had him being pulled even deeper into her orbit.

“I sure hope that your right cat-boy because I am so nervous right now. As was prevalent by my earlier word vomit.” He just smiled softly at her doing his best that he could to be her support system as much as he knew that she was nervous.

“Sometimes your nerves stop you from doing things that you’re really good at though. They stopped you from making genuine friends before now didn’t they? Being nervous about something is considered totally normal. But you can’t let those nerves run your life Sakura. Otherwise you’ll never get anywhere. If you let nerves stop you then there’s so much you can’t really achieve.” He knew the amount of almost crippling anxiety that she struggled with. He had only ever wanted to support her and push her further. As they stopped in front of the music studio and she took a deep breath opening the front door and hearing the sound of somebody in one of the rooms practicing.

“Hello! Are you here for a lesson or just here to see what kinds of facilities we offer here?” Sakura lightly yanked on her ponytail just to try and ground herself.

“My mom scheduled my appointment, it’s Sakura Nanjo. I want to learn how to play the bass guitar.” She told the clerk and Miya just squeezed her hand sympathetically. Talking to people that she didn’t know was never a skill that Sakura had excelled at. Haru was always the people person not really her.

“Oh that’s right!! Your mother did call in to our shop so we’re excited to begin to teach you. We’ll have your teacher be with you in just a moment. You’re welcome to look around. He mentioned that you’d bring your own instrument?” She nodded her head holding up her guitar sleeved she had walked her with her.

“He bought it for me a few days ago and came home with it the day before yesterday!” Sakura showed her the guitar that her mom had bought for her that matched her personality.

“That is really pretty!! It does seem to match your bright and bubbly personality. Are you here for lessons too or just moral support?” Miya put his arm around his best friend’s shoulders supportively with a small smile on his face.

“I’m just here for the moral support factor. She struggles with nerves and anxiety and I thought that it would be easier for her if she had me here to support her.” He reasoned and she smiled gratefully at her best friend. Despite only being friends for a few months she knew that there was something unique about the video game obsessed boy next to her. Something that was life altering and that she wouldn’t ever want to change.

“That’s really sweet of you!! I’ll go and tell your teacher that your ready to learn.” The worker went off in search of the bass guitar teacher and Sakura’s ear twitched lightly.

“Are you hearing La Villa Strangiato?” Her ear was always in tune to when a Rush song was being played around her. Miya couldn’t help but laugh lightly at her as he had been hearing it since they had come into the studio. She must have been way too nervous to notice that somebody had been playing a song by her favorite band.

“They’ve been playing it since we walked in. Want to go and see who it is?” She followed the sound of the guitar as it led her to a spare room where a girl with dark hair and baby blue highlights was playing a guitar. She was wearing a different school uniform than the one that they were wearing. It had a music note on the band around the arm. Maybe she went to a music school of some kind? Whomever she was, she was clearly absorbed in the music that she was playing. And what’s more than that, she was a good. Good from years of clear practice at her craft and good from knowing exactly what she was doing. Miya accidentally leaned into Sakura’s side a bit too far trying to get a better look at the girl and knocked her over. The girl that as playing the instrument suddenly stoped and looked over at Sakura who was on the ground.

“Sorry Saki!” He frantically apologized offering her a hand and helped her to dust off the back of her skirt.

“Are you guys new? I thought that I closed that door!! Sorry if I was playing too loud, my dad runs the studio here I don’t take lessons.” The girl apologized very clearly worried that she had distracted them from something.

“Sakura is here to get lessons but she’s a huge rush fan and knew exactly what you were playing. She wanted to see the person that was playing La Villa Strangiato.” Miya explained to the girl lightly put off by the fact that the girl instantly took Sakura’s hands in her own.

“A fellow Rush fan?! At long last!! I’m Kayla Sunohara!! Super awesome to meet you Sakura.” She introduced herself excitedly and Miya just possessively gripped her hand.

“I’m Sakura Nanjo, this is my best friend Miya Chinen. How long have you been studying Alex Lifeson?” Miya buried his face into Sakura’s shoulder, trying on a whim to keep the possessive nature that he was feeling come up his spine. She’s allowed to have other friends and not just me. She should have a female friend who likes the same style of music as she does. It was only a matter of time before Sakura made another friend that wasn’t just me. She’s too nice for me to keep all to myself like that.

“Oh I’ve been studying his work since I first started playing when I was seven!! What about you? You interested in studying Geddy Lee?” Sakura gripped her bass guitar a little bit firmer in her hands nodding her head.

“That’s so cool…” She gushed and Kayla just laughed a bit waving her hand up and down in a dismissive manner.

“It’s not really anything that fantastic, I’m nowhere near his level and I probably never will be. But his guitar is what inspired me to pick up my own. What about you? Why did you want to learn bass?” Miya couldn’t help the halfhearted glare that he was sending to the other guitarist. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because he hadn’t had friends in so long but he wanted all of Sakura’s attention on him.

“Sakura?” The lady in the front of the studio called her name and she instantly lightly hugged her best friend noticing the slight stiffness in his appearance.

“Miya, I have to go. Is there something wrong?” He shook his head at her putting on the fakest smile that he could muster at the moment.

“I’ll be alright, I’ve got my games and I’m going to play these games with Sunohara.” He lightly told her and she just sighed a little bit.

“Look we’ll talk later cat boy alright? Don’t do anything stupid like start a fight or whatever.” She lightly told him with a small smirk on her face going out of the room and carrying everything over to the room.

“Miss Nanjo? I’m Shizuko, I’m going to be your teacher.” She took a deep breath just trying to do the final calming of her nerves. “I’m Sakura, it’s nice to meet you.” She bowed before her teacher with a small smile on her face carrying the guitar.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. Why don’t you come with me and we can figure out what you want to do and why?” As her teacher led the way she couldn’t help but look at everything with this sheer ease of wonder and light.

“So, why do you want to learn how to play bass guitar?” She sat down in the chair in front of her putting the guitar on her lap lightly.

“I want to play guitar because I was deeply inspired by Geddy Lee. My dad he raised me on Rush because that was what he loved back in high school.” Her teacher listened to her speak passionately about her love of the music that had inspired her to get through the day.

“My little sister has been studying the art of Alec Lifeson for a majority of her life. So I totally get that you can be inspired by the lead singer. He’s a big inspiration for everyone that ever felt like they didn’t fit in. She’s going to probably take over this studio one of these days.” Shizuko bragged about her younger sister that was now bonding with Miya over a shared love of video games in the spare room.

“I met your sister! She was playing La Villa Strangiato in another room. I thought that she was really amazing at it too. She’s really talented.” Sakura exclaimed her praises towards the other main guitarist. Her teacher just laughed a little bit already foreseeing a future friendship between her newest student and her younger sibling.

“You really know your stuff if you knew the exact song that she was playing. Music has always been something that brought us closer together as a family. Performing has been something that was passed down through the lines. Our dad taught us when we were just little kids so it’s always been a big part of our lives tighter. So what do your parents do?” She put her guitar on the floor knowing that this would just be an initial interview to see what she wanted to do and why.

“My dad he runs an Italian restaurant, Sia La Luce by the marina that’s what I’m going to do when I get older too. That’s what I was doing until both of my parents decided that I should be allowed to be a teenager for a little while. I’ve wanted to play bass guitar ever since I first started to deep dive and I really learned what music was and what instruments did what. It wasn’t just Geddy Lee. I’ve been inspired by countless other artists as well.” She reasoned and the teacher just smiled to herself. She had a feeling that this student would excel really far at the guitar. She also thought that her sister might finally make a really good friend.

“Do you do well in school? Do you have any other interests?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face thinking about her lessons in skateboarding.

“I’m currently learning how to skateboard finally. My parents both do it and compete in their own ways. My brother picked it up like a fish to water. I’ve only recently started to learn how because a friend wanted to teach me. He’s the first friend that I’ve ever made. I was relatively well liked by my classmates but we weren’t ever really friends. I do pretty good in school depending on the subject. I’m mostly good at math and English but struggle with science. That’s my brother’s area of expertise.” Sakura talked about the little things in school that she enjoyed doing.

“Science isn’t for everyone and it’s not your fault that you aren’t very good at that class. I’m sure that yo excel in other areas. Who are some of your other heroes in music that aren’t behind Rush?” As important as having one hero was, Shizuko knew that she wouldn’t get very far if that was the only genre of music that she wanted to play.

“The one that my mom got me hooked on from a young age was Queen so I’ve always admired John Deacon. He was the quiet one so not a lot of people really think about how important he was. He was both an incredible bass player but he wrote some of Queen’s most iconic songs. Also, Paul McCartney has always been one of my favorite musicians for The Beatles and for Wings. Really I found a lot of different musician heroes that I could aspire to one day learn more about. I have a recent diagnosis of aspergers that caused me to rethink a lot of what interested me.” Sakura was still just ever so slightly self conscious about what had interested her. She’d had so many people judge her that weren’t Miya it felt like. Shizuko couldn’t hep but smile softly as this young tween in front of her reminded her so much of her when she was younger. From the admiration that she had of all these different styles of bass guitarists to her naturally shy disposition.

“There’s a lot of really beautiful Beatles songs, do you have a favorite one?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face.

“My favorite is The Long And Winding Road. Many times I’ve been alone and many times I’ve cried anyway you’ll never know the many ways I’ve tried. It reminds me of my relationship with my brother. We get into a lot of really heated arguments but at the end of the day he’s my twin brother and I love him.” The entirety of Let It Be was her favorite non-Rush album of all time and it was one that she listened to consistently when she was alone in her bedroom. Her parents got her a record player when she was eight because that was the item she most desperately wanted. Ever since then she’d been collecting records and she shared it with Haru.

“You sing really, really well for somebody your age. That takes a lot of talent, have you ever done it professionally?” Do my friends in Italy count? We’re kind of a band I guess and I always love singing with them. While Sakura had friends before Miya, they didn’t live in this country. Rather they all lived in Italy. They were the only large group of people that had welcomed her into their group.

“I have a couple of friends in Italy where my dad did his studying for his restaurant. We go back every summer just about and my friends and I we sing. I’ve always appreciated singing because it was something that I could control. It could be loud or quiet. I could train it to sing in different styles.” She explained her dynamic with her small group of female friends that welcomed her with open arms years ago. Found family movie nights on Friday’s were something that she always looked forward to even if it was earlier in the afternoon for her then it was for them.

“I don’t know very many young girls that are that into singing. They do it for fun a lot of them but none of them that do it for fun are very good. Not unless they put in the effort. Talent takes effort. You have to put in the work and make the commitment in order for talent to come from that. Taking on an instrument is a pretty big commitment especially with the guitar. Sometimes you just want to throw the thing against the wall and call it a day. But then you get back to it and you’re suddenly able to do it and you feel this sense of self worth and accomplishment.” Shizuko tried to make her young pupil see things from her perspective. She had lost a lot of younger students because they weren’t serious about the instrument. Once they saw the first sign of struggle they threw in the towel and gave everything up.

“I’m willing to put in the work. I just need a teacher to show me how things work.” Sakura never did anything halfway. She was either all in or had absolutely zero interest in the task at hand. She had grown up around the sound of a bass guitar coming from every room in the house in some capacity.

“I can tell that you’re one of the serious ones about this otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed after that talk. Most of the students leave because I’m “too harsh”. I just want people to try their best and to succeed in the areas where they should.” The teacher ranted and Sakura couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. That threat hadn’t even begun to diminish her joy at the idea of simply being here.

“My mom is a lot more scary than that so I’m used to the idea of being threatened. Music has always been a part of my life and now I want to learn how to play it.” She said confidently and by the look on her face Shizuko knew that she had found a gem in the rocks.

“That was why I wanted to learn how to play bass too. I grew up hearing it with my dad because he loves all different kinds of music really but it was a whole lot of Beatles, Rush, Queen, Heart, and a lot of other artists that just seemed to flow out of the windows. I’m glad that you came in today Sakura. I can’t wait to start teaching you. We’re just going to gloss over the essentials today.” Sakura looked at her teacher one question burning in the back of her brain. “What is your favorite Beatles song?” Shizuko blinked a little bit in confusion before a small smirk appeared on her face.

“My favorite Beatles song is Let It Be. Has been since I was a little kid, Mary was my mother’s name. She died last year so it’s been kind of a rough point in my life. But that song has always gotten me through bad times. And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow let it be.” As Shizuko told her new student about her song obsession Sakura’s heart warmed. It was such a beautiful story that she couldn’t help but love it.

“I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. That really must have hurt something awful. Is it just you, your dad, and your sister now?” Sakura pulled her hair back a little bit further with a small smile on her face playing with the ends of her ponytail.

“Thank you so much sweetheart that makes a lot to me. My dad has a girlfriend, they were divorced for a while since Kayla was younger. It was a bit of an experience for me to deal with but we’re still a family anyways.” Shizuko reasoned and her student just smiled sympathetically at her. She had no idea what it would be like if there was a fight that just pushed things over that sometimes tightrope edge that her parents walked on. When she was younger she feared that one day one of them would fall off the tightrope and it would end their relationship. That it would go out in a burning inferno and that one fatal argument would end their bickering relationship. It wasn’t until she got a bit older and wiser when she learned that their love language was bickering.

“I’m glad that you were still able to have that family. My family can be a bit loud and chaotic personally. It’s a lot of bickering and a lot of arguing sometimes about the simplest of things. But I love my parents even if half the time it’s like I’m the parent and they are the children under my care. My twin brother isn’t really that much better.” Shizuko laughed openly at the idea of this family as she could completely visualize it. From what she had gathered when she had spoken with Kaoru Sakurayashiki the man seemed like a complete overprotective but at the same time loving mom figure.

“So you have two dad’s right?” She nodded her head getting out her phone and showing her a picture of them all skating together.

“I have two dad’s. My brother and I were surrogate children because they wanted kids with their own DNA. To keep things less complicated when we were kids me and Haru decided okay your mom and you’re dad. It’s been that way ever since. Our family dynamic is a bit unique because of it but I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if they weren’t my parents. They bicker like people that have known each other their entire lives because that’s what they do.” She settled against the back of the chair that she was currently in.

“Do you and your brother bicker a lot because of the fact that your parents do?” Sakura sighed heavily playing with her index fingers. She hated the fact that she had instantly been called out like that.

“Well… yeah we kind of do. Both of us are naturally stubborn types of people and sometimes it gets to be rather explosive. If it’s a day that we don’t get into at least a little spat well then that’s a miracle I feel like. We’ve really put our parents through hell these last several years especially.” She picked at the hem on her skirt just wishing that she could finally get along with her brother. It was so hard for them to see eye to eye though. Half of the time she had no idea what he was thinking and why he was doing the things that he was doing. She just wanted to help and every time that she tried he exploded on her.

“Sometimes siblings just don’t get along. You’re one of the lucky pairs if you don’t fight every time that your put in the same room together as children. My sister and I still fight a lot because we’re just different kinds of people. I’m sure that it’s the same way with your brother and you.” The older of the two of them felt the pain that the younger one went through like it was her own. There was a time a few years ago where a positive relationship between her and Kayla seemed like a wish on a dying star. It was just plain not going to happen.

“I want to be a better sister to him. I know that I do. I also just really want something to bond with him over. He wants to learn to play the drums.” Her teacher smiled at her instantly feeling that sense of love that Sakura had for her brother.

“Now that we’ve gotten all of that personality stuff squared away I know how to properly teach you. We’ll put primary focus on songs from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s rock n’roll because that seems to be the genre that you enjoy the most. I appreciate the taste it’s a welcomed change of pace. I get so many people that tell me their favorite artist is somebody more modern.” She got her own red guitar that looked familiar enough to the young tween in front of her.

“That a version of Brain May’s red special isn’t it? For the bass guitar?” Shizuko grinned openly at the girl in front of her for recognizing the iconic guitar.

“My dad also happens to make guitars here so I asked for this one to be custom made once I started teaching. It’s always been my favorite guitar that’s an icon so I asked if he could take that concept and make it into a bass guitar for me. I used to do band when I was in school and now I’m going to college for music theory.” That guitar had gotten the teacher through a lot when she was younger. Everyone has their little things that they’re obsessed with and for Shizuko that would definitely be her guitar. She couldn’t live without it.

“That sounds like me with my cookbook. I can’t go anywhere without it. My mom calls it my grounding object because it helps me to stay calm and it helps me to remember my goals and ambitions. I want to one day make food that will make people happy just like my dad. If that means that I have to do the same training that he did in Italy for four years then so be it. Whatever it takes to make people smile when they eat my food.” Whatever it takes to make Miya happy when he eats my food. I want to keep making meals for him that he’ll love. I want to get him on a healthier diet. She shook the thought right out of her head, now was not the time to start thinking about Miya. It was the time to start learning the basics of the instrument that had always inspired her.

“Your mom mentioned that you have a recent diagnosis of aspergers?” She nodded her head unzipping her own guitar and showing it to her teacher.

“I got it a few weeks ago when it was still summer break. We went to Hokkaido to get it in a beach town since my family and found family wanted to go on a small vacation.” The shiny guitar that was in her hands made Shizuko smile softly. It was obvious that everyone in the familial unit that made her heart happy.

“Does that boy that was with you, is he in your found family?” She blushed a bright pink and her teacher couldn’t keep back the cackle of laughter from leaving her.

“Miya is my best friend, I’ve only known him for a few months but he’s… well he’s everything to me. I never had a friend before him really. I was popular enough with my classmates but was never asked to hang out when I wasn’t in class. That was fine with me but I never really thought about how deep down lonely I really was. Loneliness started to get to me and I was depressed every time I would go to school.” As Sakura talked about what she went through during these last few months the sadness in her voice was evident. She had spent the last couple of months just half alive until she met Miya who had brought life and color back into her eyes.

“I’m sorry that happened to you sweetheart, I know that you’ve struggled a lot during the course of your life. Sometimes we just need to wait until the right person comes into your life. I didn’t meet my best friend until I was eighteen and she’s been there for me every step of the way. I only had rent-a-friends during my entire childhood.” Shizuko reasoned and she played with the ends of curly hair with a small laugh.

“He’s easily the best thing that has ever happened to me. We do everything together now and he’s been teaching me skateboarding.” She lifted the guitar that was in her hands and put it over her lap. Shizuko demonstrated the first cord that she would be teaching her and Sakura easily copied the same note. She was instantly feeling the energy that she was actually really good at this job.

“Skateboarding can be very difficult but I know that you must feel very passionately about the art from. It can be a lot of fun actually. My friend’s and I used to do it all the time when we were back in high school. I still skate because it’s rather simple to get from place to place that way.” Shizuko reasoned with the young girl as she showed her the chord again and Sakura hit it with ease. The teacher was surprised at the amount of talent that the girl clearly had for somebody that had never touched a guitar before. It was something that she was just clearly passionate about.

“I was never really able to do it until a friend of mine was able to make me a custom board. I had to have little divots for my feet to go so that I could maintain my balance. I have really bad balance normally so trying to do that on a skateboard was just a plain old recipe for disaster.” Sakura laughed a little bit at the pain of the moment as the timer on Shizuko’s phone buzzed.

“We spent most of the session today learning about each other so that we can better work together through this experience. I know that you’re going to be one of the best students that I’ve ever taken on. I’ll see you again next week?” Sakura nodded her head zipping up her guitar before her teacher stopped her.

“For right now, I think that I should keep the guitar here. It’s probably difficult skating with it right? I can have my sister drop off a rental at your house since she’ll probably be one of your closest friends.” Her teacher reasoned and she handed the sparkly guitar to her teacher.

“Thank you, I’m looking forward to you teaching me as well!” She looked down at her shoes with a small smile on her face. Sakura bowed right before she left the room easily picking up her backpack with a small smile on her face as she heard Miya’s familiar laugh.

“Hey! I finished my session. What did you two get up to?” Sakura flopped onto the ground next to her best friend and he instantly put his arm comfortably around her shoulders. He had missed her despite her only being gone for a small amount of time.

“We were just playing some Crash Bandicoot!! Your friend is really good at video games. How did your first session with my sister go? Was she too hard on you? She can be a lot during first sessions. I try to be a lot more open minded and friendly with my students.” Kayla mentioned off handedly as the pinkette just shook her head.

“No she was actually really, really cool. I liked my studies quite a bit and I’m excited to come back next week. I’m hungry for dinner though, you coming cat-boy?” She lightly ruffled his dark hair as he nodded his head against her shoulder. As much as he knew that she had to make new friends and that it wouldn’t be just the two of them forever and ever he would always be protective over her. She might be her friend but I’ll always be her best friend. Nothing in the world can change that.

[thiswasinevitableid]

47 for OT4, SFW or NSFW I love your writing! :))

Thank you! I went SFW for this one.

47: you overhear me complaining to my coworker about your ridiculous daily coffee order, whoops

“Oh christ, here he comes.” Duck mutters to Indrid as he pumps hazelnut syrup into a cup, “the one I was tellin you about.”

Indrid, stationed at the counter, tilts his head as he watches the windows, “would he be the one that looks like a lumberjack or the one who looks like a secret agent?”

“The second one. I dunno what it is, but his order drives me fuckin nuts. It’s super specific; dark roast, single origin only, heavy cream until it turns about that color” he points to the wall, “with a half pump of caramel and a half pump of vanilla. You’re gonna be that specific, just make it at home.” He’s busy putting a lid on  the drink and therefore misses Indrid’s hand waving. 

“I do, and it’s not that hard.” A deep voice makes him turn; the lumberjack, looking more amused than annoyed.

“And since you know my order so well already” the other man, smile, tight lipped, at him before turning to Indrid, “one of those and one large, black coffee.”

Duck starts the drink, making it as fast as he can so he can slink off into the back room. Shit, if the guy rats on him he could get in trouble, he’s already on thin ice after throwing out some rich kid for harassing the staff. 

Indrid takes the drinks, mouths, “go” and heads around the counter while Duck makes a bee-line for the supply closet. 

--------------------------

Indrid sets the cups down in front of the two men, then slides a plate with a large, hot monster cookie on it between them. 

“On the house, as they say.”

“This an apology cookie or a ‘don’t give us a bad review’ cookie?” The lumberjack smirks.

“Both.” Indrid says mildly, smiling and returning to his post.

 As he walks away he hears the deep voice whisper, “wouldn’t kick that one outta bed for eating crackers.”

A soft laugh, “Agreed. Pity his friend is an ass.”

When Jake and Hollis arrive a few minutes later to take over for him and Duck, he finds his boyfriend clonking his head into the wall by the break room. 

“Don’t worry, love, I smoothed things over.”

“Thanks. Just feel like a dipshit. Both for gettin overheard and complainin in the first place.”

“I assumed it was stress from waiting on interview results.”

“Yeah.” Duck pulls on his jacket, “still feel shitty though.”

“Come, let’s go home. I have some ideas for relaxation.” He purrs, kissing Duck’s cheek. 

“How may of ‘em are fuckin’-based?”

“Half.”

“Good, gives us some variety just in case.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

“We’ve paired you with another duo, if that’s okay?”

“Sure” Duck smiles at the Escape Room employee, takes Indrid’s hand as they follow him down the hall, “Aubrey says these are more fun in a group.”

“I look forward to--oh dear.” 

Duck turns to see the pair from the coffee shop last week. The lumberjack looks about the same, but the secret agent is dressed more casually than usual. His black hair is loose rather than slicked back, and he’s in jeans and shirt that reads, “Champ” with a dark outline of sea monster on the front. He almost looks cute.

“You’ve been  trapped in the lair of hostile, highly intelligent space aliens. You have an hour to escape. Good luck” The employee shuts the door, leaving the pairs to stare at each other. 

“Uh, hi. Again.” Duck waves awkwardly

“Hey.” The lumberjack waves back, “so, uh, this is hella awkward, right?”

“Yes.” The other three respond.

“Cool. Look, I dunno about you but I don’t wanna get dissected by aliens. So, bygones?”

The others nods and he smiles, “I’m Barclay, this is Joseph. My, uh, my boyfriend.” It’s distinctly odd watching such a large man blush like a schoolgirl. Joseph smiles, kisses his cheek, then looks around the room.

“Alright, we need to find the four symbol code to enter onto that pad. Spread out and look for places symbols might be hidden.”

They find the first one easily. Indrid’s eye for color and patterns helps them locate the second, and when a clue points to the third being high up, instead of having to construct a makeshift ladder or step-stool, Barclay simply reaches up and grabs it. It does not escape Duck’s notice that both Indrid and Joseph get appreciative looks on their faces when Barclay then moves a “cloning pod” out of the way all by himself. 

“I suspect the last symbol is hidden one something that is in...that hole.” Joseph points to the newly revealed wall lined with several cubbies, one of which has danger signs written all around it.

“Not it. Too close to a garbage disposal, and I have nightmares about putting my hand down that at the wrong time.” Barclay shudders.

“I would also prefer not to be the one to reach in; such elements often have a loud noise gimmick and I do not enjoy that.”

Joseph glances at Duck, blue eyes glinting with a not-entirely-friendly challenge.

“Fuck it, I’ll do it.” Duck steps forward and cautiously slides his hand in. Indrid’s instinct was right, as the whole starts vibrating with a loud, grinding sound. Indrid yelps, grabbing the other two men, who in turn jump and scream  in surprise. Duck grits his teeth, fights the urge to pull back, and finds a smooth tile waiting for him. When he removes his hand the noise stops, and he grins, triumphant, as he shows off the last symbol. 

“WHOO!” Barclay cheers and high-fives Duck  as Joseph punches in the symbols, stopping the timer on the wall, “shit, that was wild man, scared the living hell outta me and I wasn’t even  the one doing it.”

“Mmmm, my brave hero.” Indrid drapes his arms over his shoulder, kissing him.

“Sap.” Duck teases, kissing him back.

“You know, we make a pretty good team.” Joseph brushes stray hair off his face.

“Yeah. Would, um, would you guys like to go grab coffee or something?” Barclay looks genuinely hopeful, which is why, ten minutes later, Duck is sitting across from Joseph in a dark-wood coffee shop. Indrid has excused himself to wash his hands and Barclay is outside taking a phone call from someone named Mama.

Duck sips his coffee (black) as he watches Joseph measure cream into his mug.

“That explains it; guys who drink black coffee are always weird about guys who don’t.”

“Don’t Barclay drink his black?”

“Only when we’re out, when we’re at home he’s always making fancy coffee. Trying out new recipes. It works well. Or, um, mostly well. There was a green tea cherry espresso that was not his finest.”

“Eech. Heh, that reminds me of the time ‘Drid was so groggy he poured strawberry syrup into his coffee instead of caramel. Didn’t phase him one bit, but I felt like I was kissin a berry patch the whole day. Swear the man’s half moth or some shit from how much sugar he drinks.”

Joseph snickers, “sorry, imagining Indrid as a mothman is a funny image.”

Duck pictures it and giggles, which makes Joseph laugh harder. When they recover, he scratches the back of his neck, “Look, I’m sorry I was a dick about your coffee order. Just havin one of those weeks where everythin got on my nerves.”

“It’s alright. I’m not all that bothered by it. Not intellectually, anyway. Being particular or precise is something people have been, um, less than kind to me about in the past.”

“Nothin wrong with knowin what you like.”

Joseph glances out the window at Barclay, “No, no there’s not.”

----------------------------------

It becomes a weekly arrangement; the four of them meet for some kind of activity, then go to lunch or dinner. Duck learns many things over those weeks; that Barclay can figure out how to reverse engineer Indrid’s favorite cupcakes from a local bakery, that Joseph has a worryingly deep yet very endearing knowledge of bad horror movies. That while Joseph is terrifying during a trivia match, Duck can still wipe the floor with everyone when it comes to the science categories. He learns that Joseph is trans, like him, and that Barclay and Indrid actually went to the same high school but were two years apart and thus didn’t know each other. 

Right now, he’s learning that he’s not as good at laser tag as he thought he was. 

They went during the cheaper hours, mid-afternoon on a Sunday, and while all four of them are on the same team they’ve gotten separated in the neon-tinted darkness. 

He can tell the enemy team has spotted him, and is moving as fast as he can out of range, when a hand reaches out of a darkened turret and pulls him in.

“GAHoh, phew, scared the hell outta me Joe.”

“Sorry, it was safer than calling out.” The space is small, built for kids rather than two twenty-six year olds, and so Joe is pressed right up against him as he watches the door. He might be the only guy Duck knows who wears honest to god cologne, clean and minty smelling, and the scent wraps around him when Joe pulls him back against his chest to hide them from passing opponents. 

“Fuck, that was close.” He whispers.

“Don’t worry” Joe murmurs in his ear, voice huskier than normal, “you’ve got me to look out for you.” He breaks away as if nothing happened, pulls Duck’s body out into the glowing chaos, while his mind stays in the little room, wondering what the fuck that was.

------------------------------------

 “Can’t believe we got our asses handed to us by a bunch of eleven year olds.” Duck groans as they sit, licking their wounds along with soft-serve from a tiny shack that Barclay swears by.

“That one blonde girl is gonna grow up to be a sniper.” Barclay offers his cone (chocolate and sour cherry) to Joseph, who takes a prim bite.

“It may run in the family; I think her dad was the one with the ‘Go Army’ shirt.” 

“Oh, were we not supposed to be going easy on them?” Indrid cocks his head. The others stare at him in mute shock. 

“I’m kidding; I was utterly outmatched in there.” He grins before dragging his tongue up his cone (pineapple and marshmallow). When he reaches the tip he opens his mouth wider, taking it all in with a satisfied moan. He pulls off, stray ice cream dribbling down his chin until Joe hands him a napkin. Indrid thanks him, then proceeds to do the exact same thing, over and over, and Duck realizes neither of the other men have looked away from his boyfriend. Barclay’s legs are now crossed, and Joe’s cheeks are pink. Duck can’t really blame them--he knows exactly what Indrid can do with that mouth--but what’s stranger is he doesn’t feel jealous or annoyed. He knows Indrid sometimes struggles with looking, in his own words, “offputting.” It’s nice to see two other people catch on to just how hot he is. 

Then again, he kind of wishes Joe would stop staring and eat his own cone; he wants to see what his tongue can do, too.

---------------------------------------------

“Watcha drawin’?” Duck slides onto the couch next to Indrid.

“Just random images.”

“That us with Joe and Barclay?”

“I, ah, yes it is.”

“Like it a lot. Christ you’re talented, it’s like how much you like us is comin’ right off the page.”

“Is, ah, is that so? I hadn’t noticed, ah, oh dear, I just remembered I need to go call Jake about covering my shift.”

------------------------------------------

Duck: That new barcade is finally open, wanna come with us on Saturday?

Barclay: Wish we could, but we got a friends birthday that night.

Duck: No big, let us know if you want to catch a flick on Sunday

Barclay sets the phone down, not remembering it’s a group text until Joe pokes his head out of the bedroom.

“Shit, whose birthday is on Saturday? We need to get a gift.”

“Oh, uh, no, no one. Just, uh, didn’t feel like going out but didn’t want them to think I was, like, angry or something. Sorry, shoulda asked if you wanted to go without me, shit, that was rude.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind time that’s just for us.” He crosses the living room, fiddles with Barclays hair, “but let me know if you want to see a movie Sunday, I’m happy either way.”

“Uhuh, will do.” Barclay nods, not really paying attention, as he imagines silvery hair in the dark theater and holding slender, cool fingers in his own.

---------------------------------

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t actually have that DVD to loan me?”

“I do” Duck shuts the apartment door behind Joe, “but we got some things to discuss first.” He waits until Joe is sitting next to Barclay (lured here by the promise of cookies) and across from Indrid (lives here, not that hard to lure).

“Look, I don’t think I really gotta point out how weird it is that we went from hangin out every week to not seein’ each other for near a month. But what I do gotta point out is why it’s happenin’.”

“We’ve all been busy?” Joe hazards.

“Yeah, but we all were busy before and we made time for each other. Now we, myself included, are cancelin shit.” He takes a deep breath, “Barclay, Joe, you both got a thing for ‘Drid, don’t you?”

Joe nods while Barclay blushes and mutters, “yeah.”

“And ‘Drid, you got a thing for both of them?”

His boyfriend shifts nervously in his seat, but nods all the same. Barclay looks genuinely surprised. 

“Well, you three ain’t the only ones realizin’ you want more than you got. Joe, I, uh, I really like you. As in wanna date you. So, uh, that’s where we’re at.” He sits down next to Indrid, who instantly takes his hand. 

“That’s...wait, don’t we all want the same thing?” Joe looks between them, puzzled. 

“You’d really be okay with me dating Indrid?” Barclay asks softly. 

“We’d both be dating him. And I’d be dating Duck as well as you two. Assuming that was alright with Indrid?”

“....You know, I think it is.” Indrid squeezes Duck’s hand, “I was afraid to admit how I felt; I didn’t want to come between you and Barclay, because you clearly love each other, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Duck. But I’ve also seen how happy he is around you, Joseph; there is no reason we could not all work things out to be happy as a, ah, polycule? Is that the term?”

“Think so.” Barclay relaxes, “fuck, I felt so bad thinking that wanting Indrid would fuck everything up, don’t know what to do with my self now that I’m not stressing about it.”

“I propose we order dinner and just...talk.” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, “I think that will help us sort out where to go from here.”

Duck orders takeout from the Chinese place down the block as Indrid and Joe arrange the living room into a place where they can all sit together comfortably and Barclay grab drinks. Soon they’re gathered on the floor, working out logistics and boundaries and hopes and fears between bites of fried rice and chow mein. Joe keeps notes, curling closer to Duck as the evening goes on. 

There’s a part of him that wants to jump straight to sex, to pin Joe to floor and fuck him while his other boyfriends do what they want to him, to Duck, to each other. But this thing between them is a new leaf in spring, vulnerable and just beginning to grow. 

So, after dinner, they cuddle up on the couch and floor to watch the midnight movie on local T.V, hands tentatively finding each other and bodies gradually resting closer together in new configurations. 

He falls asleep on the floor, Indrid spooning him and Joe resting his head on his belly. Wakes up with Joe curled around him and Barclay cuddled up to Indrid, snoring softly. 

Duck slips out of the configuration, pads into the kitchen to start coffee. When Joe sneaks up behind him he gasps, snickers as the taller man kisses him good morning. Then he grabs two mugs, smiling to himself at his luck as he opens the fridge. After all, he already knows just how his new boyfriend likes his coffee. 

[ohscorbus]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Saturday 2rd March, 2019

So I haven’t been able to see the show since October but what a show to come back to! This was such a solid performance from start to end. Joe, as always, was a particular highlight for me. I can’t sing his praises enough. There’s just so much going on in that head of his. It makes him such a fascinating Albus to watch. But not only that, even days later and I’m still sat here thoroughly enjoying analysing the things he does. That boy makes excellent choices. But I promise this won’t all be just me gushing about Joe. Tom Peters was on as Harry and as much as Jamie B is my favourite Harry, Tom is a ridiculously close second so I’m glad I got to see him again! But anyway, back to Joe…

Act One, Scene Four

Albus cheered and did a sort of little air fist pump thing when Rose was sorted into Gryffindor. He’s happy and proud of his cousin. It was really sweet! Especially since at this point they still have some sort of friendship. It makes sense for him to do exactly this. But I also loved it because it made the contrast between Albus now and Albus in just one years time even more pronounced. He goes from supportive cousin to being annoyed at Scorpius for congratulating her when it’s announced she’s made the Quidditch team. That complete switch is heartbreaking.

Albus put both his fists up as if ready to fight James as he came over to them on the platform at the beginning of his second year. But James, the epitome of the eldest sibling, barely paused before punching him lower in his stomach. Oh Albus… His childhood really must have been a ‘constant struggle’ with a brother like that if at his age he still hasn’t learnt how to properly defend himself.

Act One, Scene Seven

Albus was lying on his side on his bed for the beginning part of this scene. He was looking towards the audience with his back facing the door. His body language here spoke volumes and it was brilliant. This is what Joe excels at. If you pay attention and really watch him then you’ll see just how much care and thought and effort goes into every action he does or does not make. The simple act of lying down and facing away said everything you needed to know about how Albus was feeling. He wasn’t just being a moody teenager, he’s telling you how distant he feels in that moment. He uses his body in such a way that it literally becomes the wall between him and his family. A wall he’s creating, but Albus can’t see. Yet he doesn’t block them out entirely. He could have, easily. But each time Ginny, James, or Lily appeared in his doorway, Albus always looked back over over his shoulder at them in acknowledgement. Even if it was only to roll his eyes or mutter something under his breath. It showed us all was not lost. Which is exactly where Albus is right now. This is a turning point for him.

I also want to point out the fact that he remains lying down as his siblings freely walk in and out of his bedroom. Why? Because it says how comfortable he is around them. He may feel different and out of place, but at least he’s still somewhat relaxed and being himself in front of them. Yet when Harry walks in this all changes. He sluggishly but immediately (and that’s the important bit, not his nonchalant attitude he uses as a delaying tactic) sits up and then props his pillow up against the bed frame. He doesn’t sit against it, he stays sitting sideways so he’s still turned away slightly from Harry for another moment. But the fact that he starts fiddling with things in his room screamed at how much he was uncomfortable here. Either with Harry himself or him being in his space or with the impending conversation they were bound to have. He knows his dad, and he’s probably expecting (and equally dreading and secretly excited about) his gift since he knows it’ll be coming if his brother and sister got things already. It makes you wonder if Albus dreads this moment every year. Another year, another gift that’s not quite right. It must hurt to see his siblings get something that’s so perfect for them, and for him to receive a gift that’s nothing but a reminder of how little his dad understands him. Or cares. Which is obviously not the case but I can see how Albus would eventually get to that point of believing it.

Act Three, Scene Nine

“My dad…. hi dad!” - Scorpius whispered the hi dad bit and Draco imitated him by leaning down and tilting his upper body so he was at eye level with a hunched over Scorpius. He then whispered ‘hello Scorpius’ back in the exact same voice. It was the greatest thing. I’ve always imagined Draco doing this sort of thing with Scorpius. Playfully mocking him, you know? So to see it actually happen on stage was a dream come true. Bless you, James Howard. But on a serious note, while it was playful and the audience did laugh, the look in Draco’s eye told Scorpius how not amused Draco was right now with him or the situation they were in. It got across how serious this was without him being Lucius levels of terrifying. Dad skills. He’s got them.

Act Three, Scene Fourteen

Fun fact! (Which @torestoreamends cheerfully told Jonathan, much to my embarrassment and her amusement.) I’ve been waiting since 2016 for the boys to sit on each other’s bed in the dorm room scene and today I FINALLY saw it happen! It’s super important to note here that it’s not for ship reasons. Yet those involved seem so adamant that these actors not do it. Probably because it would fuel the fires of them being in love or whatever. But like, no??? Best friends do hang out on each other’s beds. It’s completely normal! Especially since they are talking about something they don’t want others to overhear. We presume there’s no one else currently in their dorm but still, it’s not a subject you want to talk about across an empty space like that. Scorpius getting up and sitting on Albus’s bed by his pillow felt natural. The physical closeness here only made their emotional connection stronger and made their conversation more heartfelt. It became the most intimate version of this scene that I’ve ever seen. Again, I don’t mean this in a romantic way. These two have been best friends who’ve lived together for four years at this point and they’ve just gone through something really traumatic together. This simple action makes sense. So yes. Basically I’m this close to buying Jonathan a gift basket in thanks. Dorms are busy and as far away from private as you can get. The both of them sitting on one bed to talk or do homework or whatever is just what would happen!!! I’m so glad he agrees.

Albus’s reaction to Scorpius when he reveals the Time-Turner he’d kept hidden under his pillow was 10/10 and kind of Scorpius-like, which I could write essays about. But anyway. Albus took one look at the Time-Turner and then immediately turned away. Out of sight, out of mind. He took a few deep breaths (these boys are their breathing exercises, honestly) before walking around to the other side of his bed, putting it between the two of them. Like he was trying to put distance between himself and this absurdity. (The absurdity being both the Time-Turner and his friend.) But of course he soon walked back round to deal with Scorpius, and the bloody Time-Turner. They are in this together after all. But yeah, that reaction! It was dramatic and comical and so Albus. The real Albus. The one who is more himself when it’s just him and Scorpius alone.

Act Three, Scene Sixteen

The last time I saw this, Albus held the Time-Turner over the side of the Owlery as if contemplating whether or not to just drop it and let it smash. But today he held it up high above his head with both hands and made out as if he was going to throw it with force downwards off the ledge. Thankfully Scorpius immediately reached out and stopped him! Honestly, I still fear that one day Joe is going to drop it accidentally. You don’t want to know how often I think of different ways they could possibly continue this scene without it. It’s a genuine reoccurring fear of mine that should not plague me the way it does. But here we are. Thanks Joe.

Act Three, Scene Twenty

Albus was pulling at his bound wrists which I internally squealed at because of course he would! Scorpius is going to talk and think his way out of this but Albus? Albus is going to approach it hands on. It’s fascinating because it ties in with his dislike/distrust of magic. It also reminds me of how Harry often pulls the door handles in St. Jerome’s even though he knows they’ve been locked with magic. It’s not going to work but he’s going to try anyway. It’s the sort of immediate physical reaction that these two are famous for. The connection made me smile.

Act Four, Scene Five

While the boys were trying to come up with a plan in Godric’s Hollow, Albus kept walking around and around in a big circle as he was thinking. I really liked this! I love the idea that walking helps him think. Again, it’s that concept of Albus physically needing to do something.

I’ve gone into detail before about how Jonathan interacts with imaginary baby Harry. You know the bit where he’s explaining (by which I mean demonstrating) his plan to shout ‘help!’ at him? Well one, it still melts my heart. His little ‘hello’ and wave down at the ‘baby’ is too cute. Also, two. While he was shouting help repeatedly today, he was also shaking his arms as if he was shaking the baby??? I was horrified and yet laughing manically at this disaster of a human being. Albus’s face as he watched him made me think we were on the same wavelength about it.

Act Four, Scene Fourteen

Okay so, the last Albus and Scorpius hug today was one of my all time favourites. Scorpius quickly went up the last remaining steps between them and then hugged the hell out of Albus. He tucked his head into his chest and stayed there with no shame. Albus not only accepted the hug but he also hugged him back. The best part though? Albus then put his head down on top of Scorpius’s head and for a second they were simply enjoying their hug. It was everything. But then Albus visibly flinched as if remembering they weren’t suppose to be hugging (let alone enjoying it) and he pulled himself out of Scorpius’s arms. So not only was the beginning absolutely heartwarming, the second half made the whole ‘I thought we decided not to’ part really interesting since clearly neither of them actually want to stop with the hugs. So why did they decide that? What prompted the discussion???

Act Four, Scene Fifteen

I could write a whole post on how incredible Tom Peters is as Harry. Out of every single person I’ve seen on stage for this show over the past three years, he’s the person I’ve accepted their version of the character the quickest. The first scene hadn’t even ended yet and I could already see and accept him as Harry. There’s just something about him. I didn’t need two or three scenes or shows to understand his take on the character, or to get use to his acting style. To me, he just is Harry Potter when he walks out onto that stage. He works so incredibly well with this cast too, and with Joe in particular he is exceptional. How they are able to effortlessly mirror each other and interact so naturally makes you think they’ve been doing this together all year. It’s in the little things, like the way they sit and stand and lean in to talk to each other. It’s beautifully frustrating that this version of Albus and Harry are the most alike in terms of the characterisation and temperament. You can see just how much both Harry and Albus are trying with each other every step of the way. It makes their misunderstandings that much more heartbreaking because of it. They’re so close! (Which reminds me, at the end of Act Three Scene Eleven, both Albus and Harry were completely still at the end of the scene for a few seconds until they both suddenly walked off at exactly the same time. The synchronisation was insane. They were facing away from each other too which made their exits so visibly exciting. The same action, the same time, opposite directions. Seriously, these two. I want more.)

One thing I love in particular about these two is how frequently they both have their hands in their trouser pockets. You see it all the way through but it’s in this very last scene that it truly broke me. At one point they were both stood there, slightly facing away from each other but still somehow identical. Everything from their posture, the looks on their face, to their hands in their pockets. It was right before Albus said his ‘so are you saying I’m more like you?’ line and it was absolute perfection because Albus seemed slightly puzzled and intrigued by the mere thought, yet for us as an audience their similarities couldn’t be more blindingly obvious at this point. It was stunning. But it also made the fact they were struggling feel even worse. They don’t clash because they hate each other, they clash because they’re too alike. Well. In some ways. He is very like his mother too. But Harry never goes into the ways they’re also alike. The only in depth (and I use that term very loosely) comparisons we hear on stage are from Delphi (”I realised your weakness was the same as your father’s: friendship”), which she throws at him like an insult. As if it’s something bad. I can’t wait for Albus to learn being like his dad doesn’t have to be something to fight against, but to be proud of.

There’s a couple of others things which I really want to write about in more detail from this show. There’s an Albus line that made me cry today, a discussion I had with James Howard about Draco accepting help after Astoria, and the importance of the unscripted hug between Albus and Scorpius in the church. But they each deserve a separate post they’re up next on my to do list!

[allfandomxreader]

The Interview

Pairings: Joe Keery x Reader Words: 2,146 sorry Request: I absolutely loved the Joe Keery x reader one you made. Could you do a similar one where joe is still dating Maika but somehow starts to fall for the reader? I love all your imagines, you’re so talented! xx Summary: You portray the new character Olivia Henderson in season three of Stranger Things. You and Joe go on a Jimmy Fallon interview together to talk about the recent season together. Part: 1/5 Warnings: Joe likes the reader but is dating Maika, so if you consider that cheating. A/N: I absolutely loved writing this, it's probably one of my favorite fics I’ve written, so I hope I did your request justice! I cut this into two parts because there’s just so much more I want to do with it. (Also I have no idea how interviews work so if this is really inaccurate, I’m so sorry.

Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

Your foot bounces as nerves run through your leg. You watch the TV backstage as Jimmy tells jokes to his audience. You stand beside your co-star, Joe, preparing to walk in front of the boisterous crowd. Joe playfully bumps your shoulder with his own, a smile tugging at his lips. “Relax,” He maneuvers himself behind you and begins to rub your shoulders, Joe’s touch calmed you down immediately -much to your dismay. “You’re going to do great, okay?” He reassures, “And if you panic just know I’m right there next to you. Jimmy’s interviews are always the best, he makes you feel right at home. There’s nothing to be worried about, I promise.” You nod along with Joe’s words. You can do this, you’re Y/N Y/L/N.

“Without further ado, everybody, Joe Keery and Y/N Y/L/N from Stranger Things season three!” People in the audience screech as you step onto the stage to meet the host. You and Joe quickly shake hands with Jimmy and situate yourself onto the couch as Jimmy gets comfortable behind his desk. “Welcome, welcome!”

“Thank you so much for having us!” You gush towards the man and the crowd cheers, you wave slightly to the crowd as their voices die down. “Ah, I’m so nervous, this is my first night show, I feel like the pressure is on.” You mention, Jimmy lets out a loud laugh and the crowd mimics his actions.

“Well I am honored to be your first host,” Jimmy grins towards you before jumping right on into the interview, “So Stranger Things 3 aired on Netflix about a month ago, correct?” You and Joe nod to answer his question. “Y/N, you’re the newest member of the cast this season, would you mind telling us about your character and her background? I believe it was mentioned here and there but just to make sure everyone is familiar with you.”

“Of course!” You cheer, your nerves subside as you begin to speak, “My character was Olivia Henderson, she is Dustin’s cousin who lived in New York. Her father was re-marrying a woman  who Olivia wasn’t fond of and she just wanted to escape for the summer, so that’s how she ended up in Hawkins.” You explain the backstory of your character like the back of your hand.

“Your first scene as Olivia was really badass. You came into town on this really cool motorcycle -here I’ve got a little picture of it,” Jimmy pulls out a card off his desk to show the audience a picture of the blue and white Suzuki Katana motorcycle. “When you get to Dustin’s your wheels skidded and dirt was kicked up, how was filming this scene for you?” Jimmy questions.

“This was a surprisingly terrifying scene, it was the big reveal of my character so I had to make it look super cool. I’ve never driven a motorcycle or had the need to be a total badass so the scene was really stressful for me.” Jimmy nods along as you relive your first moments on set as Olivia.

“The first two seasons there was a small love triangle happening between Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan. This season, however, Olivia and Steve form a really strong romance,” Joe smiles at the beginning of Jimmy’s question, “In the show it’s obvious that the two of you have a really authentic connection, would you say that’s true as well off camera or is it all for the show?” Joe chuckles as he opens his mouth to answer.

“Y/N and I quickly became really good friends, and I would say by the second week of filming we were already best friends.” You nod along in agreement, “Originally, Olivia was supposed to fall for Billy Hargrove but when Matt and Ross saw how well we got along together they completely changed the whole thing.” Jimmy’s eyes widen in shock at Joe’s reveal.

“I believe that was a good call,” Joe and you glance at each other flashing cheesy smiles before listening to Jimmy’s next question. “The two of you had an episode basically all to yourselves called, The Disappearances. This is when you traveled to nearby cities to ask about the disappearances of more kids and you actually come head-to-head with a new villain in season three. Can you tell us a little bit about this?”

“That was probably my favorite week to shoot,” Joe admits sheepishly and you hum in agreement, “It becomes clear that these missing children are being taken to the Upside Down and Steve and Olivia just want to figure out how to save them. So, them being them they follow all the clues and find a way into the Upside Down once again. It was a really cool episode because it expanded the whole show even further than season two did. There were wicked effects and the Upside Down was even creepier and all around just really cool.” Joe explains.

“Yeah, I can agree with that. Besides all of the creepy stuff, it was also where Olivia really opens up to Steve and you get to know her more as a character and you begin to feel really feel connected to her.” You smile to your co-star as you expand his idea.

“The Disappearances is where Steve and Olivia’s feelings start to grow for one another, you can really tell the exact moments where Steve falls for her and vice versa.” Joe couldn’t tell if he was still talking about the characters or how he really felt towards you.

“The kissing scene in that episode was probably one of my favorite scenes of the three seasons. I’ll pull it up on the screen for the audience to see,” The room goes dark as you and Joe flash onto the large screen behind your seats, your attention averts from the host and onto the moving picture.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you screamed your lines to Joe, “Would you just thank me for being there and saving your ass? Without me, that thing would’ve killed you!”

“I knew what I was doing, Olivia. I’ve fought off that thing before and from the looks of it, I’ll do it again. I don’t need you to save me, I can save myself.” Joe strided towards you and stopped inches away from your face, his breathing is heavy due to his angry character. Joe’s eyes softened as they stared at the fake bruise from where Olivia hit her head. “You’re hurt,” He whispered, taking your head in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it.” You whimpered. Joe’s cologne wafted into your nose, your eyes flutter shut savoring the moment you know won’t happen off camera.

“What you did was stupid,” Joe admitted without yelling.

“Well next time, remind me to leave you there to die,” Joe’s lips were on yours almost as soon as the words tumbled out. He kissed you so hard it made you woozy, you never wanted to stop. He pulled away moments later, your eyes both searched one another’s.

“What was that for?” You whisper.

“Don’t ever make me worry about you like that again.”

The audience erupts with clapping as the scene comes to an end. Your cheeks burn witnessing the scene once again but this time next to Joe. You’ve made it your mission for him to never know how you felt towards him, the last thing you wanted was to get in the way of him and Maika.

“Wow,” Jimmy speaks as if he’s at a loss for words, “I just can’t get over the acting in that scene, as well as throughout the whole season from you, Y/N. You really brought an amazing personality to Olivia, it’s stellar.” Jimmy gushes making your cheeks grow even warmer.

“Thank you so much!” You beam, “I’ll have to agree with you, I think that was my favorite scene as well. It was just so surreal and full of unidentified feelings. Olivia thought she had proven herself to Steve and deserved to be thanked, while Steve just wanted to impress the girl he had been swooning over for awhile, and when it didn’t work out that way he discouraged which led to anger. Throughout that whole scene, the emotion just became so intense and the only thing that seemed right in the end was to kiss. I think it was a very special and raw moment Steve and Olivia shared together.” Joe’s heart flourished at your rambling, he wished that you felt that way about him and not just your characters. The crowd -and Jimmy included- clapped at your thoughtful take on the scene.

“While we’re on the topic of romance, Joe, we know you are still with the beautiful Maika Monroe, correct?” Jimmy averts the conversation to Joe as the clapping subsides.

“That is correct,” Joe glances at you a ping of sadness grows inside of him, being brought back to reality. He watches as your eyes find the floor and your smile falters. He’s spent so much time with you in the past year he knew every single one of your expressions, and this one wasn’t good.

“Y/N, how about you? Is there a lucky man out there?” You laugh at his question, awkwardness suddenly engulfing you.

“I’m currently not seeing anyone at the moment,” A loud cheer comes from a man in the audience causing the room to burst with laughter, “I will admit I’ve liked someone for a long time, but other than that my love life is pretty much non-existent.” You know you should’ve just left Jimmy’s question at just a simple ‘no’ but for whatever reason, your mouth kept moving.

Joe’s eyes fall to the ground just like yours did seconds before. He wasn’t fond of hearing you talk of another man, you’ve never mentioned this mystery guy in the months he’s known you. He was shocked that you admitted something on live television before you admitted it to him.

“Due to Olivia and Steve’s relationship, there’s been a whole bunch of memes going around on social media about you being the ‘mom of the party’. Have you seen any of these?” Jimmy asks.

“I have not,” Your eyebrows raise at the new information.

“Well, today is your lucky day!” You giggle at Jimmy’s excitement as he directs his attention back to the screen. A picture of all the kids hugging you flashes onto the screen as Jimmy reads the caption “Single dad, Steve Harrington finally brought home a woman worthy enough of his children’s approval.” You cackle along with the audience at the photo before Jimmy changes it to another one. “The best moms of Stranger Things 3,” A picture of Claudia Henderson, Karen Wheeler, You, and Mrs. Saintclair are in a collage, you chuckle as the screen goes dark once more.

“I can already tell, tonight I’m just going to google Olivia Henderson memes and stay up until three in the morning.” The audience laughs at your joke.

“Step up your game, I’ve been doing that for months now.” Joe playfully shoves your shoulder for the second time of the night as the crowd's laughter dies down.

“Well, I’ll bring our interview to a close with this last question. Did you get really close to anyone else on set besides your best friend Joe here?” Jimmy questions.

“I did! I hung out with Natalia a lot. We’d sometimes go out for brunch and on our off days we’d go explore and do really fun touristy stuff,” You explain with a smile. “I also got really close with Sadie and Millie, they’d come into my room after filming and complain about all the boys with me and we’d do really fun girlie stuff together like mani-pedis or makeup. We’d just have a really great time together.” You smile at the fond memories you had with your co-stars in the months prior.

“Watching Y/N get really close to everyone on set was wonderful. I knew she would have no problem fitting in but when we first met I could tell she was a little nervous and befriending everyone really made her blossom in a way and really be herself which was great to see.” Joe smiles fondly towards you and gives your hand a slight pat. Your skin tingles where he touched even after he removes his hand.

“That’s really great you guys,” Jimmy smiles one last time at the two of you before directing his attention to the people sitting in rows before you. “That is all the time we have for this interview, give it up one last time for Joe Keery and Y/N Y/L/N!” The crowd goes wild as you wave farewells to them as you exit the stage as a commercial break takes over Jimmy’s show.

[junker-town]

I rewatched Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS and it was magical

It took nearly six hours and 14 innings, but the Red Sox made it happen. 

My heart sank when my baseball-loving kid asked when we were going to watch a game again. Then I remembered after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series I bought the full set of games on DVD, including the entire American League Championship Series. Having never actually watched any of the discs, I vaguely remembered stashing them in a box that had somehow made its way from Philly to Boston by way of several Cambridge apartments.

Eureka! I still had them.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

We started with Game 4 of the ALCS against the Yankees because even in a quarantine I wouldn’t bother with the first three games. My kid soon became familiar with Papi, Manny, and the whole gang of Idiots. He promptly proved his Masshole bonafides, yelling, “Come on Millah!” when Kevin Millar came up to bat in the ninth against Mariano Rivera. For the record, neither my wife nor I have a Boston accent and he doesn’t either. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a proud moment.

My wife, incidentally, couldn’t care less about baseball, but she has fond memories of staying up late with her friends, living and dying with every pitch. When Dave Roberts stole second, she screamed like it was happening in real time.

Game 4 was iconic, of course. The whole sequence belongs in a time capsule. Starting with Millar’s walk to Dave Roberts’ steal through Bill Mueller knocking the great Mariano Rivera off the mound with the game-tying single like he was Charlie Brown in a Peanuts strip. And then, much, much later, Big Papi’s home run. Game 6 was even more famous with the whole bloody sock thing, while Game 7 was just pure cathartic release.

But Game 5 — holy shit, Game 5. I had forgotten how magically insane it was. Over 14 innings and almost six hours, it was like watching a slow-motion nightmare unfold only to emerge in a blissy dream state where unicorns are real and it ain’t over ‘til Big Papi takes a swing.

To set the scene, Game 4 ended after midnight, meaning Game 5 took place literally the same day. Your starters were Mike Mussina and Pedro Martinez, making perhaps his last start in a Boston uniform.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

The Sox took an early 2-0 lead but couldn’t bust out a big inning against Mussina, who settled down and pitched a gem. Martinez was also dealing, but that pitch count was rising higher as we got to the sixth with the Sox leading, 2-1, which is when I started taking notes.

Martinez is getting up near 100 pitches. I forgot that after 100 pitches he turned into Ramiro Mendoza. Thankfully, Joe Buck is here to remind us. Tim McCarver thinks pitch counts are overrated and now I’m yelling at McCarver to shut the fuck up. (For future reference, STFUTM will serve as shorthand.)

Earlier, he told an incredibly random story about Trinidad Hubbard that made absolutely no sense. Hard to believe, but there really was a point when McCarver was an insightful announcer. Happens to all of them, eventually.

Martinez gets Bernie Williams to pop up, but Jorge Posada reaches on a quirky infield single and Ruben Sierra follows with another hit. I’ve seen this movie before. It ends badly. Tony Clark strikes out and now it’s up to Miguel Cairo. Martinez just hit Cairo to load the bases. 2004 me is yelling at Terry “Tito” Francona: “GET HIM OUTTA THERE, FRANCONA.”

Photo by Linda Cataffo/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Tito leaves Martinez in to pitch to Jeter and Buck notes that Jeter hasn’t put his stamp on this series yet. Oh God. The inside-out swing. The slicing line drive landing in right. Three runs are going to score. I’ll go to my grave saying Prime Nomar was better, but it would really help if Captain Intangibles stopped doing stuff like this.

Looked like Cairo may have been out at the plate, but it’s real close. You know what this game doesn’t have? Replay review. There were at least eight plays by my count that would have been subject to replay review and this game would still be playing if that was the case. We got along fine without reviewing every close play and I would like to return to that nebulous state of affairs when the world stops burning.

You know what else this game doesn’t have? Fans on cell phones. Everyone is hanging on every pitch and it’s beautiful. I know this because the broadcast keeps cutting away to the stands and I’ve seen the same woman clasping her hands in prayer between pitches a dozen times. Pretty sure I’ve seen her at the Fresh Pond Trader Joes.

LOL, Martinez plunked Alex Rodriguez just because he could. McCarver doesn’t like it. STFUTM. Now Gary Sheffield walks to load the bases. Um, Tito? I think you can go get him now. Francona leaves Martinez in and he gets Hideki Matsui to fly out. Good job, Tito.

The Yankees had a chance to break it open in the eighth, but Mike Timlin gets A-Rod to pop up with a runner on third and one out. This was A-Rod’s chance to be a True Yankee and he blew it. Shame, really.

On we go to the bottom of the eighth and it’s time for the WebMD update. Today’s injury is a broken heart. Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.

Photo by Keith Torrie/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Here comes Papi and he takes Tom Gordon over the Monster and off the Volvo sign. I miss the Volvo sign. Now Millar, who draws another walk. Dude could take a walk like nobody else. Roberts comes in to pinch run and Gordon throws over a half dozen times. He’s clearly rattled. It’s happening again.

We’ve officially reached the moment where Francona becomes a super genius. Everyone keeps expecting Roberts to steal second, but Tito calls for the hit-and-run and Trot Nixon executes it perfectly sending a line drive single to right center. God bless that dirtbag right fielder.

First and third, nobody out and Joe Torre calls on Rivera. Officially this will go down as a blown save when Jason Varitek lofts a sacrifice fly to center to tie the game, 4-4, but this is on Gordon. No Yankee ever scared me more than Mariano. Salute to him.

When McCarver gets what he considers a profound thought in his head, he slows his cadence for dramatic effect. Then he repeats himself like he’s delivering a dugout sermon from Whitey Herzog.

“After 169 games and eight innings, the Red Sox season comes down to one inning,” McCarver tells us before the ninth. “One inning.” Oh Tim, we’re just getting started.

Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Keith Foulke is on to pitch the ninth. He worked 2 ⅔ the night before and will pitch tonight and then again in Game 6. Foulke threw 14 shutout innings during the postseason and was never the same. He gave up his career for this postseason run and was never properly appreciated because he made some crack about fans the following season that caused everyone to turn on him. Here’s to you, Keith Foulke. I have no idea how you ever got anyone out, but you were nails.

In the ninth, Tony Clark hit a ball to right that somehow crawled up the short fence and landed in the stands. Had it stayed in play, Ruben Sierra would have scored and the game would have been over. Sixteen years later, the universe hates Boston and its run of championships, but in 2004, this was all strange and new. Kind of miss those days.

Bronson Arroyo, fresh off getting hammered in Game 3, strikes out A-Rod and Sheffield en route to a clean 10th inning. The strike zone, by the way, has been a tad inconsistent. It’s hard to tell because there’s no K-Zone or pitch tracking and again, that’s totally fine! Maybe we were better off not knowing everything all the time.

Even though I know how this is going to turn out, I keep expecting Papi to hit a home run every time he comes up to hit. Instead, he strikes out.

On we go to the 12th and it’s Tim Wakefield time. The knuckleballer’s normal catcher/binky is Doug Mirabelli, but Tito rides with Varitek, who has absolutely no idea how to catch a knuckleball. Super genius.

Cairo singles to left and Manny kicks it like only Manny can, allowing Cairo to get to second. My kid smacks his forehead and says, “Oh, Manny.” He doesn’t even know the half of it. Fortunately, Jeter flies out and so does A-Rod. Crisis averted.

The Sox have stopped hitting. This seems bad.

Photo by Rick Friedman/Corbis via Getty Images

Ah, the 13th. Nothing bad can happen here. Sheffield is swinging for the Mass Pike. He’s legitimately terrifying. Somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sheffield with a nasty knuckler that Varitek misplays into a passed ball. I remember thinking at the time, “This is how it’s going to happen. This is how they’re going to kill us.”

Two outs now and Matsui’s at first. Whoops, another passed ball. Now he’s at second. Intentional walk to Posada. Everyone at Fenway is nervous as hell. My wife comes into the room and starts watching. Now she’s nervous.

ANOTHER passed ball puts runners on second and third. Missed opportunity by McCarver to say something profoundly stupid like, “Johnny Pesky held the ball. Varitek can’t catch the ball.” Actually, that would have been pretty good.

Seriously though, one more miscue from Varitek and he’s Mike Torrez combined with Bill Buckner. Somehow, somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sierra and Varitek miraculously holds on. Fenway erupts. My wife cheers. “Mom, you know what’s going to happen,” my kid says but none of us care. This was the greatest game I ever saw and even now it doesn’t seem real.

Photo by Corey Sipkin/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

OK, now the 14th. Esteban Loiaza is on to pitch for the Yankees and he’s somehow become Whitey Ford. His cutter is filthy. Johnny Damon, who has done absolutely nothing this series, draws a walk.

Two outs and here’s Manny. I always loved Manny in these spots because a) he’s a great hitter and b) he’s completely impervious to pressure. God, this is a great at-bat. He’s fouling off quality pitches and laying off sliders just outside the zone. Manny gets his walk and trots to first like it’s a game in June against the Orioles. Here comes Papi.

It took 10 pitches for Ortiz to end Game 5 with a bloop single to center off the handle of the bat. He fought off nasty cutters and sent one about 420 feet screaming into right that went foul. My wife is tense. My kid is yelling, “Come on, Papi!” Finally, the big man does his thing and Johnny Damon comes home from second with the winning run.

Buck had a great call. “Damon can keep right on running to New York.” McCarver immediately blows it by saying, “He didn’t do it again, did he?” Dramatic pause. “He did.” Thanks, Tim. Oh, and STFU.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

By the way, there’s no off day because there was a rainout prior to Game 4. I have no idea how either one of these teams turned around and played again the next night, but I’d give anything for another marathon Red Sox-Yankee game right about now. Thank Papi, I still have the DVDs.

[orionsangel86]

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers... do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

THE TRAGIC LOVERS/ THE WOUNDED ANGEL

How amazing was this episode for Dean and Cas? I know people were getting upset about the diner scene being Dean trying to set Cas up but this was all posturing on Dean’s part partly for Wally and partly because he was bristled with jealousy. Someone needs to get Dean’s face when the waitress first calls Cas “handsome” and use the “conceal don’t feel” moment from Frozen because that is EXACTLY what was going on there.

(gif source @godshipsit)

“My Devastatingly handsome friend here” Really Dean? Mandy had already called Cas handsome you don’t need to talk him up to her now she has already shown her interest. Your crush is showing Dean.

But lets skip past the diner scene because there is SO MUCH more to talk about. A big part of this very busy story is about Cas getting injured and the Winchesters reaction to that. It seems like the writers are going out of their way right now to show the audience that Cas is SUPER IMPORTANT SO SHUT THE HELL UP SAYING HE ISNT. THANK YOU ANDREW DABB. THANK YOU DAVY PEREZ, THANK YOU DICK SPEIGHT JR. THIS IS EVERYTHING TO US! I meant it when I said I was *sipping Cas hater tears* right now. I get so happy when justice is served.

We never do find out if anything happened between Cas and the waitress… I suppose you could say it was added as a “no homo” to the “I love you” from later on in the episode, but I think it was completely non relevant. They immediately leave the diner to go after the demon. So no hot sex with random waitress for Cas Though honestly, he showed no interest at all. Dean did all the work for him and all Cas did was give her a sniff to see if the whole “smells like food”thing was true. Its kinda hilarious. 

Anway, cue Cas getting stabbed by the Lance.

This is such a beautiful shot. I just wanted to say that. Also, this is a demon with a weird hobby for night fishing who happens to make Cas his “catch” on this particular night. This is the second time Cas has been the “fish” in this show, and well:

(gif source @winchester-reload) 

(sorry couldn’t resist).

As soon as Dean realises Cas is hurt, he takes on Mr Whites role of being the one to inspect the wound, to reassure Cas that he will be okay, to just plain deny his dying. Its beautiful to watch Dean get so upset about this. Once again his reaction is so very different from Sam and Mary’s – both of whom are incredibly upset don’t get me wrong – but Dean’s reactions, and Deans emotions, are where the camera focuses the most. Why? Why do you all bloody think? (Remember that our Director this episode calls himself “the Prophet of Destiel” so I think we are in good company here guys).

“you look like hammered crap”

“Yeah that sounds about right”

Still being the husband Dean. “I’ve had worse” “Oh yeah? When” Urgh the whole exchange is so touching really. Dean covers the wound up to stop Cas from looking at it, tries to reassure him. The LIP QUIVER thank you Jensen for those small but exceptionally well thought out motions.

 (gif source @subcas)

His actual face is terrified, every one of these tiny reactions is Jensen at his best and I have to send Dick Speight Jr a fruit basket for capturing each and every one.

Besides you know things are bad when he calls out for “Sammy”

“no, no theres a cure. Theres always a cure” so desperate

Dean’s reaction to Crowleys “hey, I was quite fond of the choir boy too” with his “shut up, shut up” because he is showing his anger. He is in denial, and is handling it with anger against Crowley. Because Crowley knows how he feels about Cas. Hence his response. It was another subtle but beautiful moment highlighting how Dean reacts differently when Cas is in danger.

And then we have CAS’S SPEECH. I know we have all been flailing about this since the episode aired as lets be honest it is THE BEST thing about this episode. I have watched it so many times, picked it apart and just cried over it enough times in the past few days to know that this beautiful moment means EVERYTHING.

“Thank you, thank you, knowing you, its been the best part of my life. And the things that we’ve shared together, they have changed me.”

Notice how Mary looks at Dean here. She doesn’t know their history, but at this point in the season I do think that Mary suspects something is between Dean and Cas. Her reactions speak far louder than words (just like her stubborn son).

As the camera then cuts to Dean’s reaction:

(gif source @godshipsit)

Because of course it does. Dean’s face here is so very perfect for the emotional turmoil going on inside him. Cas says that the things they have shared together have “changed him” as in for the better, Mary looks at Dean and Dean looks BROKEN because yes he has changed Cas “The very touch of you corrupts” and I doubt that Dean has forgotten that somehow, especially when we had a reminder of it just two episodes ago. Dean thinks he has ruined Cas and this moment was very telling of that. 

(gif source @ahoyspn)

“you’re my family,” FINALLY HE KNOWS. How long has it taken him to get here?

ASHJFHEGFEWAHFUEHFUH!!! 

CUT TO DEAN AND DEAN ALONE!! (Thank you editing department for making that FUCKING CLEAR! (Gif source for both the above @godshipsit)

“I love all of you.”

DISTINCTION. TO CLARIFY MEANS THE FIRST IS AMBIGUOUS. Also the reaction shots here are amazing.

Dean’s face is just pure pain. I can’t bare it. This is the best fucking thing SPN has EVER given us.

AND THEN AND THEN

WE GET OUR CONFIRMATION. CAS GETS HIS CONFIRMATION THAT HE IS IMPORTANT. HE IS NOT EXPENDABLE. THEY WOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR HIM. THIS IS ALL WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR.

“Cas No.” Dean says. Just no. I will not leave you here.

“Yes, you need to keep fighting”

“We are fighting. We’re fighting for you Cas” OH SAMMY HOW I LOVE YOU.

“And like you said we’re family, and we don’t leave family behind” OH DEAN NO YOU ARE BEAKING MY HEART

LOOK AT THIS POOR SWEETHEARTS FACE

(gif source @godshipsit)

THIS IS THE MOMENT HE REALISES. THE MOMENT IT HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO. THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. THIS IS IT. THIS FACE IS WHAT I HAVE WEIGHED MY HEART ON SINCE WATCHING 10x22 AND GAMBLING ON WHETHER TO STICK WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW OR NOT.

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THIS. I WROTE ABOUT CAS’S ARC AND WHAT WAS COMING FOR HIM AND THIS IS FUCKING IT YOU GUYS THIS IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT I AM CRYING.

I am probably gonna devote a separate post just to this tbh because I can hardly stand it.

Look, I have decided I am not going to debate the “I love you” here. It is ambiguous, on second, third, forth and fifth viewing I will admit that, but I have two asks in my inbox both speaking kinda negatively about this confession so I will address this separately there. At the end of the day, with everything else we have been told about Cas up until this point, it can easily be read as a romantic “I love you” to Dean just as it can be read as a platonic one. I have chosen to see the romantic interpretation, because Dean’s reaction was first.

Anyway, the fact is that the way Dean reacts to the whole Cas dying thing is different to the way Sam and Mary react. There is a distinction, just like there is a distinction between “I love you” and “I love all of you”.

When Cas is spewing up black goo (and baby why are you always vomiting black goo you poor thing – love the season 6/7  call backs though)

compared to:

and:

(gif sources all @godshipsit)

See, Sam is able to remain calm “hang in there alright. What do we do?” and Dean? Dean can’t talk. He is close to tears, he just looks BROKEN and looks down. He can’t even watch Cas die. This is once again further proof (that we have been getting since 11x10 btw) that the brothers view Cas differently. To Sam, Cas is a friend, a brother, he loves him, but he isn’t so very emotionally compromised when Cas is in danger. Dean? Oh Dean breaks. Every. Time. This is why we keep going on about these things. See we don’t think Sam thinks less of Cas, its just that he is not in love with Cas like Dean is. When you are in love with someone, it hurts more. This distinction has constantly been thrown at us in the show. It is important.

Then the HANDS urgh I love anything Handsy in this show… so much symbolism.

(gif source @weallneedcastiel)

Blablabla hands blablabla profound bonds… oh but THIS:

(thanks to @elizabethrobertajones for giffing this in zoomed in slow motion because she is trying to KILL ME)

This kills me. Sam lets go, Dean clings on for as long as he can. TELL ME THAT ISN’T TRUE LOVE?!?

And then as if they haven’t ALREADY KILLED US ENOUGH THEY GIVE US THIS:

(gif source @godshipsit​)

Guys. GUYS. What was it Bob Singer said? “Cas is a nomad, he doesn’t have a home.”

WELL THANKS BOB SINGER BUT I GUESS YOU HAD A CHANGE OF HEART OR DABB TOTALLY OVERRULED YOU! We know for 100% certain that Cas’s home is the bunker. He lives there. He belongs there. This is such a far cry from 9x03 I am so so happy. It is undeniable. Cas lives at the Bunker.

Then at the end, as if I didn’t need my freaking heart:

“I almost lost one of my boys”

MARY HAS ONLY BEEN AROUND FOR A FEW MONTHS AND CAS IS ONE OF HER BOYS! SHE SEES HIM AS ONE OF HER BOYS! IS THIS FANFICTION? WHO SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR THIS? This is proof enough that Cas is part of the family. This episode is the gift that keeps on giving.

Now that I have screeched about all of that, I just want to quickly talk about the mirrors in Reservoir Dogs. Because as I said earlier, Dean and Cas are our Mr White and Mr Orange. Why is this? Because if you watch the scene where Mr White comforts Mr Orange in the warehouse you will find some similarities between that and Dean and Cas’s exchange in this episode.

Look I will admit I watched this film once (and then watched these few scenes a couple of extra times) so I am no expert on it, but as far as I am concerned, this is quite obvious subtext. The film starts and ends with these two guys wrapped in each others arms, dying, bloody, and very close. Larry (Mr White) stands up for Freddie (Mr Orange) the whole way through the movie. He is the only one who doesn’t doubt him. Everyone else is suspicious of Mr Orange being the cop and it all builds up to the moment where they all point their guns at each other because Mr White risks his life to save Mr Orange from Joe’s gun. He goes against his friends for this guy he barely knows… the big question is WHY? Well, it makes a hell of a lot more sense if maybe Mr White had fallen in LOVE with Mr Orange… because love makes you go against logic. So it obviously makes the film all the more tragic to know that Mr Orange WAS the undercover cop and basically breaks Mr Whites heart in that final scene (because he doesn’t want to die in the arms of the guy he clearly loves knowing there is still one big lie between them.)

How does this relate to Dean and Cas? Because even though Davy Perez only wrote very loose connections between the other SPN character and the Res Dogs cast, (except Mary blatantly being Mr Pink and getting away with the loot at the end) he very CLEARLY wrote parallels for White and Orange in Dean and Cas. The guys with the homoerotic subtext in Res Dogs, get the homoerotic subtext in SPN as well. Both sadly remain subtextual, but the parallels are blatantly obvious.

This episode has given us enough to write about in terms of destiel for the next YEAR let along the next week. I can hardly keep up with it all. And this isn’t even the rest of this beautiful episode which after 6 re-watches I still haven’t tired of yet.

MR KETCH/ MOTHER MARY

“Tell me a story”

Honestly my first thought was Metatron. But then this makes sense since I think the British Men of Letters are Dabb’s self-insert character. Like Metatron was Carver’s self-insert character and Chuck was Kripke’s self-insert character. Did Gamble have a self-insert character? Because we are getting so many call backs to season 6 this season that I feel like it should be acknowledged. Anyway, we don’t actually know that he is talking to Mary at this point, but a lot of this episode takes place from Mary’s POV. Mary is incredibly conflicted at this point, but I do think that she believes they are doing good. I also feel like the line “asking the wrong questions” is important. This season is all about communication, miscommunication and a lack of communication. If only they would all TALK TO EACH OTHER.

Excellent use of the Pulp Fiction mystery brief case glow (WHAT COULD IT BE?)

One of the most shocking things in this episode was how Mary refused to reveal that she had stolen from Ramiel to save Cas’s life. She sneaked around behind the boys’ backs, wouldn’t tell them that she is working with the BMOL, stole the mystery item and lied to her sons about it. This is all very Cas in season 6. Mary knows that what she is doing is wrong, she must do, otherwise she would have spoken to her sons about it (lack of communication). We keep talking about how this is a season 6 rewrite, but this time Mary is in Cas’s place, this couldn’t have been more obvious come the end of the episode with this outfit:

Also this line:

“Anything happens like that again, anything, and I will burn you down”

Made me think of this line:

“If you touch a hair on their heads, I will tear it all down. Our arrangement. I’m still an angel, and I will bury you.” Said to Crowley by Cas in 6x20.

We have ourselves a very interesting little parallel here. Mary is betraying her boys and it is not gonna go well for her, if season 6 is anything to go on. What could possibly happen? Well, the BMOL want to rid the world of all Supernatural beings for a start, and Mary seems to share that mentality. The fact that she wouldn’t give up the Colt to save Cas’s life also makes me rather concerned… but she did call him “one of my boys” so I dunno what to think. Is Cas potentially in danger here? We have speculated this before, after seeing the way both Ketch and Mick seem to hungrily eye Cas up all the time. Whilst its funny to think that they both just wanna jump his bones, the truth of the matter is that they probably wanna string him in a display cabinet like Catrina’s butterflies in 12x11. Could Mary’s refusal to hand over the Colt at that point be foreshadowing for her using Cas as a bargaining tool later in the season? Could she betray him to the BMOL? I don’t want to think that Mary would be capable of such a thing, but like my Evil!Mary anon keeps saying, something isn’t right with her, and she doesn’t have the Winchester’s long history with Cas (or the Colt) to truly understand what they mean to each other. Mary’s reactions to Cas’s confession seemed more like surprise than anything else, especially the way she turns to look back at her sons when Cas talks about the “things they have shared”.

If there is one thing I have been completely unable to predict with this season it is where the mytharc plot is going. There are so many elements at play, and now we have the return of the Colt and Mary’s betrayal to deal with as well. This is only going to escalate into something very bad, and Sam and Dean are going to be royally burned at the end of it. Could it come down to a choice? Cas vs Mary? So far this season Dabb has gone out of his way to prove that Cas is one of the family, and now we finally have got to a point where Cas himself believes this. Could this all have been to put him on equal grounds with Mary only to have the Winchester’s make a Schindler’s List style decision later down the line? How horrifying a thought. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but this whole situation with Mary has got me very worried.

THE PRINCE/ MR CROWLEY

Oh boy was this awesome. Firstly, I love the character of Ramiel. He was straight out of a Tarantino movie with his “couldn’t give a damn” attitude and his constantly calm manner. He was a cold psychopath and I loved it. Also he was our “Mr Blonde” with his yellow eyes. (I am glad that no one lost an ear in this episode – though I am suddenly very much aware that this already happened in SPN previously… honestly we will soon get to a point where everything has been done on SPN. This show is insane.) The whistling, the fishing, the spear, the “you mind explaining why you broke into my house!?” so smoothly after being shot. I think he was one of the best villains we have had in a while. I would have liked to see more of him. Interestingly, when I watched the promo shots of him I was reminded of Alistair. I am not sure why other than I saw similarities between the actors, but the fact that he was actually a “prince of hell” and a call back to Azazel was amazing.

NEW LORE! Good new lore too rather than retcons that don’t make much sense! Finding out some origin stories about Azazel (also HOW AWESOME was that yellow eyes reveal to Mary!) The first demons after Lilith created by Lucifer had yellow eyes. HOW LONG have we been speculating about the colour of demon eyes and what it means?

“Asmodeus has his hobbies, Dagon has her toys” TWO NEW SCARY DEMONS who we will totally be seeing in the coming episodes now… probably to avenge their dear departed brother. We know that Dagon has taken an interest in Kelly Kline and Lucifer’s baby so we will probably be seeing her next episode - for some reason I totally picture her as an Ellie Driver character… probably because eye patches are suddenly “a thing” in this show and also nurses outfit/protecting the baby mama… yeah… This is my Dagon currently:

Anyway, we are back to “yellow eyed demon” levels of bad and I love all the call backs to the previous seasons. Season 6 is predominantly the season we are rewriting in season 12, but there have also been major callbacks to season 4 and to the early seasons now to the point that I partly think this is Dabbs rewrite of the entire first half of the show.

Lets talk about Crowley, because OMG CROWLEY in this episode! Crowley is like the epitome of “I don’t care” (actually cares a lot) bless him. First of all, we get a CROWLEY ORIGIN STORY (bless you Davy Perez) because how long have we all been wondering how he managed to claim the throne? He was given it by the rightful heir.

What is the most amazing part of this, which gives such a HUGE insight into Crowley’s character is this:

(gif source @godshipsit)

Which is his reaction to finding out that Cas was stabbed with the lance. The subtle shock, and sorrow on his face, before he composes himself. I just… CROWLEY! Where is that feelings gif?

I know we joke about the Crowley x dean x cas love triangle, but with this season calling back to season 6 and Cas and Crowley’s original partnership, with all the history between Crowley and Dean and now THIS? Evidence that Crowley cares. A lot. What makes it even better is that while everyone else was sitting around helplessly watching Cas die, Crowley DID SOMETHING. He BROKE THE LANCE…. Seemingly one of the most powerful weapons in creation, a weapon that he could have used to KILL LUCIFER and he BROKE IT FOR CAS. CROWLEY SAVED CAS’S LIFE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO PERSONAL GAIN WHATSOEVER. CROWLEY CARES ABOUT CAS.

This is just wonderful. What does this mean for Crowley now? He clearly cares about them, but they still reject him mostly. Will this act of compassion mean that the Winchesters accept Crowley as a part of their group from now on? Or will Lucifer’s words poison his mind?

Because lets talk about that for a moment. We all knew that Lucifer wasn’t in the cage… Crowley has him locked up in a small cage in his throne room. This will not end well. Lucifer is the master of deception, he uses his words to manipulate people and with Crowley’s weakness being the Winchesters (including Cas) Lucifer could easily use this against him.

“I know that look. Sam and Dean have got you down. I still can’t believe you’re working for the dukes of haphazard. Do you really think they care about you? Think about it Crowley, they kill your kind. It’s in their blood. You know, you know. Its only a matter of time before they come for yoooouuu”.

This is Lucifer already working his magic. His forked tongue whispering things into Crowley’s ear that will slowly poison his mind and turn him against the Winchesters again. I don’t know what is coming up for Crowley, but like with Mary, I can’t see it going well for him. I am so excited to find out what happens next.

OVERALL

This episode is one of my favourites. I mean in the WHOLE SERIES. It was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute. The writing, the direction, the editing, the music cues were spot on. Richard Speight Jr NAILED IT. I hope he directs again. This season just keeps getting better and better. There is so much going on I can hardly get my thoughts in order, but to summarise:

We have two new yellow eyed demons who are gonna be PISSED when they realise their brother has been killed.

We have Lucifer trapped in a cage poisoning Crowley’s mind.

The BMOL have the Colt. THE COLT.

Mary is the betrayer in the midst. She is working for the BMOL behind her son’s backs.

Kelly Kline is still missing with Lucifer’s baby. Dagon has “taken an interest”.

The “cosmic consequences” are still outstanding.

Cas loves his family. His family is canonically the Winchesters. He is no longer an “angel of the lord/heaven”.

The Winchesters love Cas. Canonically. They would die for him.

Crowley puts the Winchesters and Castiel above his own need for power and personal gain.

Destiel is canon

Okay so I may have added the last point in as a joke, but we are so not far off guys. We have the building blocks in place. Slowly but surely we are getting there and we are already so much further along than I would have hoped. I do think that we will get an undeniable confession of romantic love from Cas’s side at least this season. If not by him directly, then by someone else (my money is on Crowley or Mary) pointing it out to him and him not denying it. Basically, we are in a really positive place. Dabb is doing a brilliant job of answering all our questions, questions we have had for YEARS about plot holes and mystery points left open to interpretation. I am convinced that this will only get better. God I love him. I always knew Andrew Dabb would do an amazing job when he first took over as showrunner, but in my wildest dreams I didn’t think he would give us so much so soon. We are truly blessed right now. This series has majorly improved since the atrocity of season 10. they seem to have LEARNT from that . This is wonderful. I couldn’t be happier.