#reminds me of this fucker guy who told me that all american art. all american art. is inherently derivative to english art

[oflgtfol]

i hate the english

[shnuggletea]

So I’ve decided to put this on FF. I’ll do it later today but yeah, it’ll be there soon-ish. Anyway, here’s Wrath! I hope you have all enjoyed the sinning going on this week so far. There’s a lot more to come!

If you can’t find the other stories (heard there was some issues?) click here to enter the collection. This chapter is live on AO3 and my Patreon!

Art by the lovely @clearwillow, event by the astounding @neutronstarchild​ and @lemonlushff​! So if you’re really enjoying this event, you know who to thank along with the authors!!!

TAG WALL!!!!!

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“But of the seven deadly sins, wrath is the healthiest - next only to lust.”

― Edward Abbey, Postcards from Ed: Dispatches and Salvos from an American Iconoclast

Thirty minutes into this date and I wanted out. 

Tinder had matched us but the guy had lied on every part of his profile. Including his picture. And continued to lie to me when we chatted to set this up. He was easily ten years older than he said he was and he wasn’t a personal trainer. Unless he had been unemployed for a while. 

I’m not that vain, the guy was decent looking. But I hate liars and I dislike boring people even more. This guy… I could hear my vagina boarding up as he spoke about his fantasy football team. 

My phone rang and I had to force myself not to jump on it. It was Kagome. Emergency or not, I was thankful for the call. “I’m so sorry but I have to take this.”

He didn’t look surprised. He knew the date wasn’t going well. His chances were low in the first place, picking a lunch date. A real man would have asked for dinner or drinks. 

Leaving the table far behind, I brought my purse with me and I didn’t care if it was rude. I was already shuffling out the door when I answered the phone. 

“Where are you?!”

She couldn’t see me so I rolled my eyes hard at her. “I’m out, I told you this…”

“You need to get back here, now!”

“Wha...why? What’s wrong?”

She huffed and it came out as a squeak. Kagome was scared. “Naraku went nuts!”

I laughed. “Is that it? Just lock him in a bedroom or something. I’ll be there soon.”

She gave another squeak and I cut her off. I should have known better. Neither Sango nor Kagome knew how to handle a man. It was up to me to take care of this. And probably all the men we conjured. 

oOo

Kikyo left. She left! And her man Naraku was still here, slumped on the couch! I wish I could say I was surprised. Half of me expected her to take care of this man but, of course, she left it all up to us. 

Even the man she created was fodder to her. 

Naraku didn’t look phased in the least. So we had that. I still didn’t know what to call my creation and Inuyasha had his head buried in Kagome’s side like a sad and tired puppy, looking for snuggles. It made me regret not choosing a dog as my octopus wrapped his tentacles around my waist again. 

Fucker couldn’t get up off the couch but he could grab my thighs, ass, and back. 

Getting my freedom for the thousandth time, I glared down at him. “Can you stop that? I just want a moment to myself without your hands all over me!”

He pouted but dropped his hands to his lap. Kagome sat comfortably in Inuyasha’s hold, giggling at my creation. “He reminds me of Myouga. Remember him?”

“Oh my gosh, YES!”

“Maybe that’s what you should name him?”

We both looked down at the man who was grimacing back up at us. “I don’t think he likes it.”

I was seriously considering it though. Just to teach him a lesson. But I never liked Myouga so I didn’t want to use the name when calling my so-called mate to me. “There used to be a monk… in my village…” my mate began and we were all silent in shock, “Miroku. I would like the name Miroku.”

Slowly, I found myself sitting on the coffee table. It squeaked but didn’t take any attention away from Miroku. “You used to live in a village? I don’t understand, you were an octopus…”

“The village was next to the sea. He came to the edge of the cliff to meditate and teach the children. My cave was right below.”

“So you were animals before?” Kagome asked, her glance shifting from Miroku to Inuyasha and back.

“Yes and no,” Naraku answered, drawing all our attention, “you called us here and yet, you have no clue what you brought?”

“There are many different types of demons, dear Sango. We were always demons. You gave us a more… human form with your spell.”

Miroku’s hand had found its way to my knee but I was too engrossed to care at the moment. Inuyasha had flopped, leaning against Kagome’s side and smelling her again. She wasn’t bothered in the least, petting Inuyasha’s hand. “Did you know this?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t fully understand the text. But now, it makes more sense. Because it said, “bring to life” and “give human breath”. I thought we were making animals human using demon souls to change them.”

“Instead, you gave demons a human form with your energy.” 

Naraku had shifted his head to stare right at Kagome. “Me?”

He nodded but left it at that. Kagome had been the one to perform the spell so it made sense to me. Looking her over, I was now worried about what damage bringing three full-grown men to life did to her body. And her soul.

“Maybe you should go see a doctor?”

Kagome grinned broadly, “and leave you here alone with these guys? I’m fine. Really.”

I nearly lost it when Inuyasha whined up at her. Lost it in a freaked out kind of way, not a fun one. Because his actions reminded me the most of an animal, only further proving what Naraku and Miroku said was true. We had brought demons from wherever they were hiding and gave them human bodies. 

No way this would turn out well.

The boys were still practically lifeless on the couch and I was thankful it was the weekend. What the hell were we going to do Monday? Call in sick? Or hire a babysitter?! Wait, that reminded me. 

“What are you doing?”

I was crouched before the television, pulling wires around, “Remember that guy I dated who I dumped when he ditched me for some gaming convention while I buried my mother?” Kagome grimaced and even Inuyasha and Miroku stuttered. I probably sounded a bit scary just then, but Kagome nodded so I let it go. “I got all this gaming shit to try and connect with him like he wanted then didn’t touch it again. Maybe it could at least entertain these guys?”

There was only one game and it had been years since I used the system. I barely remembered how to set it all up. But I got it running after some trail and error and Kagome stopping me from throwing it all against the wall. I never liked video games. They were fun but a distraction. I’d rather kick someone’s ass for real in the dojo than press buttons to do it.

The game now alive, I handed remotes to all the men. Naraku took it reluctantly while Miroku just started at it for a moment. Inuyasha plucked it from my fingers and then went to town. Maybe they had game systems where Inuyasha was from? There was no telling what life they had before this.

Kagome sat on the arm of the couch for a moment longer but once Inuyasha was fully engrossed, she moved away and the two of us stood behind the couch to watch. Inuyasha was kicking both Naraku’s and Miroku’s ass at the game, a fighting one with silly characters that didn’t bleed. Just bounced off the walls when hit hard enough.

“What should we do?” I asked and Kagome kept her eyes on the men and the screen. “They still can’t seem to move.”

“This is helping. I think it was a combination of exhaustion and strangeness. They’re not from this world and their new to their bodies. But fighting seems to be aligning their…” she paused to search for the right word and then looked at me with a smirk, “Chi.”

Kagome continued to smirk through my glare at her. She knew I believed wholly in things like Chi. She was using that against me now to get me to stay calm. But it did make sense and for some reason, the game was energizing the three of them. Kagome was right, it was aligning them to this world or something. 

Which I thought was a good thing until Inuyasha slayed them all again and laughed heartily. There was nothing wrong with it, he wasn’t being a good sport but it was a dumb game. Miroku wasn’t bothered but Naraku was, throwing the remote so hard it lodged into the wall.

“Hey!!!” I yelled but was ignored.

Naraku jumped up from his seat, fully energized, and glowered down at Miroku and Inuyasha. I really didn’t know what would happen if they fought for real and I didn’t want to find out. Neither did Kagome, running around to get in between before anything else happened. Now, Inuyasha was on his feet but more so to push Kagome back and keep her out of it. Miroku glanced my way and when I didn’t move, turned back to Naraku.

“This game is ridiculous.”

“Then why are you so mad?” Kagome countered and Inuyasha pushed her back a little further.

Naraku looked through Inuyasha to scowl at Kagome. “Because it isn’t a real show of strength. If it were, then I would be victorious of any and all challengers.”

Miroku huffed from his spot on the couch and my heart leapt into my throat. I didn’t like the closeness of Naraku to him or the daggers Naraku shot at Miroku with his eyes. “It’s not very becoming, being such a sore loser. And in front of our makers…”

“My maker isn’t here.”

“But Master is.” Inuyasha countered and Naraku’s attention flew back to Kagome. 

Nope. Didn’t like this at all!!

“How about you all calm the fuck down and sit?” I yelled but was ignored.

Naraku had his eyes boring into Kagome still and Inuyasha at least moved to block it. But then the dumbass spoke again. “She is far more kind than your maker and devoted. That is what really pisses you off. That your maker could care less…”

“Shut your mouth, Mutt!!”

Everyone was silent but the bomb was already lit, Naraku stomping over to our dining room table and flipping it up into the air. Hands grabbed me and pulled me back before it landed heavily on my leg, Miroku grabbing hold of me again. But this time, I didn’t fight him, I let him coil around me and protect me. It was unnecessary, Naraku’s temper tantrum was over. 

He just walked right out the door.

oOo

I was still shaking when I hung up the phone. Kikyo being on her way didn’t really comfort me like I thought it would. I was thoroughly freaked out. We had created… monsters?! If I went by Naraku we had fucked up. But as Inuyasha ran a hand up and down my spine, it was hard to see him as a mistake. He was far too sweet. 

Miroku helped Sango turn the table back onto its feet. It wobbled a little now but was otherwise fine. I left Inuyasha’s touch to pace, pacing that only increased when Kikyo arrived. Who knew where Naraku was now?!

“FINALLY!” Sango screamed, not giving Kikyo a chance to sit, let alone speak before turning her around.

We all walked along the lazy street beside us. It was the first time Miroku or Inuyasha had been outside our apartment and it showed. At least they had their energy back, Inuyasha pulling at my hold on his hand a few times to take a closer look at something. 

“How are we ever going to find this asshat?” Sango asked all of us.

Inuyasha perked up. “I could sniff him out?”

“Really?” I did nothing to hide my excited relief and Inuyasha’s ears twitched. “You can do that?!”

He shrugged and turned, keeping a tight hold on my hand that tightened with my words for some reason. “I will do anything to make my Master happy.”

“You should really just call me Kagome, Inuyasha.”

Over his shoulder, he gave me a broad smile. Then winked. It had my knees going weak for a second. He was too gorgeous for me. 

Sango and Kikyo were staring as he sniffed the air then turned, moving hotly down the street. It didn’t take long for us to find that Inuyasha could, in fact, follow someone’s scent. 

Because Naraku was standing above a small crowd, using a statue in the middle of a small park as his stage. As we walked up, he was ending whatever his tirade was and people were leaving quickly. 

“I will lead you all! You should all follow me!” 

“Why?” A smart man in the crowd offered.

Naraku zeroed in one him and growled. “Because I am superior in every way.”

What was left of the crowd laughed without fear. And why wouldn’t they? They didn’t know he was a demon put in a human body. Inuyasha could sniff a person out who knew what Naraku and Miroku could do?!

I was pushing through the crowd, trying to get to Naraku before anyone got hurt. A tugging at the back of my shirt told me Inuyasha was right behind me. I didn’t look back to confirm but I just knew it was him without a doubt. 

Naraku’s face was blood red with fury and I swear his eyes were red too. Or was that my freaked out brain making me see things? Either way, I wasn’t going to make it. The crowd wasn’t that thick but we were still a good distance away when the anger began to swell in Naraku. Inuyasha knew it was a lost cause, ripping me back by my shirt and into his protective hold. Sagno stopped short a second later right beside me, Miroku holding onto her arm tight as her excuse. We were all standing there helpless when it happened, Naraku’s flaming scowl opening up to enact his attack.

“Squawk!!!”

I blinked, reaching down to pinch myself to make sure I didn’t pass out. Then I looked at Sango who had her face twisted in confusion. Looking above, Inuyasha had his head tilted to the side like a dog trying to understand what he heard. We were all trying to understand. 

“Oh god, not again.”

We glanced at Kikyo who already had her face covered with her hands.

“Squawk!!!” Naraku took a step closer to the edge of his stage and the man backed up, only to have Naraku jump to stand before him. “SQUACK!!!”

“What the fuck? Your crazy man!” 

The man backed up and Naraku followed, raising his arms and flapping them. “SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK!!!!”

Naraku kept backing the man and anyone who came near up. Flapping his ‘wings’ and squawking like a bird or something. Sango looked over me to Kikyo with an amused glower. “Just had to pick a Raven.”

Kikyo was purple and silent. All while her mate accosted multiple people. “Kikyo, do something!”

“Me?!”

“You called him here! He’s your responsibility!”

She rolled her eyes at me, “I didn’t ask for a pet I have to control. I wanted a man!”

“He is confused on how the world works.” Miroku added softly. “He was never introduced to humans before as a Raven. They’re solitary and independent creatures…”

“Exactly! In-de-pen-dent! Meaning he can take care of himself!!” Kikyo shouted, turning on her heel to leave and officially declare it our problem. 

Naraku was alone, a circle of people keeping their distance. But he was clearly confused and upset. He just didn’t understand.

I took a step but was instantly yanked back, Inuyasha holding on even tighter than before. “Don’t go, Master.”

I sighed, mostly because of the name he used but also because I didn’t want to go and deal with this but Kikyo left me no choice. “I have to go.”

Looking upside down at each other, I swore I saw a flash of red in his eyes like I saw in Naraku’s now. But it was so fast, it had to be my imagination. He slowly released me and I carefully approached the crazed man. He took one look at me and softened but still squawked at my approach. 

This was going to be a long day.

That’s what she said!!! Working on getting more for you tomorrow! Wish me luck!!!!

[dreamgrl]

VOLTRON COLLEGE AU

Forewarning, this is going to be really long, sorry. Also, this isn’t poetry, as you can probably gather. In this au they’re all in college, Shiro and Allura are seniors, Hunk Keith and Lance are sophmores, pidge is a freshman, and Coran is an English teacher. 

Also, I don’t go to college sooo, sorry for any inaccuracies. 

Everything is under the cut. Enjoy!

Shiro

- he's totally that person that can wear nothing but joggers and tank tops ever and get away with it. like even though they're sloppy clothes he looks so orderly and put together 24/7

- even though he dresses like a total douche he's classy and kind and will always lend you his hoodies

- he has had this one girlfriend (who may or may not be Allura) since like tenth grade and he loves her lots and talks about her all of the time. like he carries extra toiletries for her just in case of an emergency and he is always there for her when she needs him

- he's the kind of guy who's down for spontaneous adventures 24/7 but will also push you to work harder in sports or school or anything else

- he was a great football player in high school, but had to quit after he got in a car accident with a drunk driver freshman year, causing him to lose his arm

- he's really sweet and encouraging and just an overall great guy. your typical all-American boy next door

- he needs glasses bc his eyes are really really bad but he only ever wears contacts. (even though everyone tells him he looks like a cutie with them on)

- he's very modest and also very passionate

- he's an aspiring artist, but he really wants to go into therapy and grief counseling

- definitely a dog person

- not one single pimple in his entire life. what??? the heck???

- nobody ever wants to disappoint Shiro like even if they don't know him they'll just try to keep him happy because hot damn this kid has had enough bad stuff in his life

- rarely sees the rest of The Crew™ but when they all get together (Allura included, sorry Coran) they have a great time and watch Lance embarrass himself

- drinks at parties, but only ever beer and not heavily

- literally his sense of humor is so sarcastic and discreet nobody can ever tell when he's joking

- constantly jokes about dying but will actually fight you if you do the same

Lance

- he wears a watch. it's just a little simple one with a leather strap but it's really nice and he's never seen without it

- he wears his book bag over one shoulder

- he wears pullover hoodies and blue jeans but he will only wear them if he rolls the cuffs

- he owns a lot of flat brims and wears them backwards simply because someone once told him that he looked good

- he has this NASA bomber jacket and nobody knows where he got it from but it's always been there and he wears it all the time

- Lance has a lot of freckles. like. a fuck ton. they're really dark on his arms and back and belly but you can't see them on his face until you're like .02 inches away from him

- he has this party boy kind of attitude, and while he's always that guy that is smirking and laughing and making sarcastic comments under his breath

- he's actually very kind and nerdy. he always turns his papers in on time and he doesn't really have to work to stay at the top of the class. school comes pretty easily to him

- never drinks at parties and is always the designated driver

- majoring in aerospace engineering bc he’s a smart bb.

- whenever he talks he uses his hands a lot, and slips into Spanish whenever he's not paying much attention

- he calls people nicknames in Spanish too. (Hermano, amigo, ese, etc etc)

- as much as he puts up a cocky and arrogant persona he is a family boy and is nostalgic and homesick 24/7

- he's always kind of flirting with everyone but as soon as he's in a relationship he's 1000% committed and respectful and if he sees anyone in an unhealthy relationship he immediately goes !!!!!!!! and helps them out

- he's the # 1 friend and also an amazing cook. (he learned bc he shares a dorm with hunk)

- he has spontaneous karaoke sessions with anyone who's willing to join in, and is wickedly good at the bottle flipping trick

- he's shockingly anxious and depressed and the only people who can help him are Hunk and Keith. (mostly Keith)

- Repressed Gay Thoughts™ is his middle name

- he saw Keith for the first time and immediately developed a crush and he doesn't really know how to deal with that. that's why he's always kind of hostile and subconsciously trying to get Keith's attention

- he lives in an apartment off campus with Hunk and Pidge

- his clothes always smell like his lavender laundry detergent

- he's very disorganized

- "creative minds almost always have a messy workspace!!"

- curses a lot

- says he's chill

- is probably the least chill person on planet earth

- his phone never dies somehow

- he is carrying gum with him 24/7 and if you ask him for a piece he'll probably just give you the entire pack

- steals hunks sweaters

- his favorite song is jar of hearts

- Shakira hips

- annoyingly talented at everything

- art? amazing. singing? he's a god. dancing? no problemo, he can move his body in a way that is both fun and chill

- perfect teeth, that fucker

- always talking about his mama and he makes calls to her every night and sends her gifts each semester

Pidge

- definitely the person to wear jackets and have pins on their backpack

- they kind of give everyone the side eye. it's not meant to be mean, it's just their face??

- they read in the middle of class, but somehow take notes at the same time?? and also turn every paper in three days early and more than 2 pages longer than necessary?? all of their visual projects are super organized, and they have color coded binders, and have never lost a pen or pencil in their life

- they probably haven't gotten anything below an A since third grade

- though they look like they do it naturally, they actually try really hard and study every night

- they have mental breakdowns like 8 times a month

- probably hasn’t slept in like 7 years which is why they’re so dependant on coffee. 

- “give me, the bean juice.”

- no, but actually they never sleep and keith or hunk will wake up at 4 am and pidge is just, awake, in the kitchen, on their computer. what are they doing? reading fanfiction? watching old vines? hacking government databases?? literally, nobody knows. 

- majoring in computer engineering.

- skipped seventh grade and still graduated early

- they don't hang out with many people, but they're super funny and fiercely protective

- they've always had a bit of trouble with gender identity, but they've learned to love and accept themselves

- Pidges' wardrobe switches between dresses and button downs and everything in between. and they rock all. of. it.

- they're super confident in themselves and not afraid to speak their mind but also just a polite and quiet person who tends to keep to themselves

- they have this really cool denim jacket with lots of pins and buttons and rips and it's just overall really cool and they wear it all the time and it has quickly become their signature item of clothing, much like Lances jacket

- they are closest to Hunk because he's the first person who knew about their gender fluid identity

- they used to have long hair but then they cut it short soon after they moved into the college dorm

- literally the biggest asexual in the world they’ll fight you on it.

- owns a sweater that says “space ace” in big letters. 

- they live in an apartment off campus with Lance and Hunk

- matt goes to a different school which, thank god, because he and pidge are the ultimate team. they both never sleep, hardly remember to eat, and can take over the world with a laptop. they know the best pranks, tell the best jokes, and the existential humor is unbearable between the two of them. if they’re ever in the same room together, get ready. 

- steals hunks sweaters most often

- loves. aliens.

- has earbuds in like 24/7 don't talk to them if they do

- youngest of the group

- they act like they hate life and they think the future is going to be really bad but in reality they get super excited over every little thing and they have so many plans for when they get out of college.

- straight teeth (except for one in the back of their mouth that they never bothered to get fixed) their teeth are a little discolored though because they've been drinking so much coffee for so long

- leader of the college Computer Nerd clique

- likes to show people how much they know

- huge nerd like oh my so big

- participated in a dungeons and dragons tournament

- won easily

- once went 96 consecutive hours without sleeping to study for a final

- slept like the dead for two days straight

- doesn't drink ever

Coran

- that quirky English teacher that everyone lowkey loves

- all of his students have his phone number

- he always extends the due dates on projects

- he looks like he's goofy and doesn't know what he's doing but in reality he is the most perceptive and intelligent teacher in the entire school

- he talks about books in ways you'll both be fascinated by and also easily understand

- he makes those profound statements that you kind of always hang onto and you remember them at weird times and strange things remind you of them

- like you'll be watching a scary movie with your kid at age 40 and you'll remember some weird saying he always had about how life is like a haunted house or some shit

- he's just that cool teacher that always makes finger guns and bad puns a and kinds disregards school policies 24/7 but you have never learned more in any class ever

- he wears glasses with big frames

- funny European accent that nobody can really place

- is the best and knows he's the best

- buys his students coffee on his way to school

- literally gives 0 fucks about rules like sure you can eat you can text you can work in groups as long as you're passing my class I don't care

- never cheat on his tests. you'll sing in front of the class.

Allura

- that person that's just really hard to place.

- like one day you'll find her making out with Shiro behind the science building and the next day she's studying for a med exam in a coffee shop.

- she's on the soccer team or something and she gets really intense and she's the best player on the field and leaves every game sweaty and muddy and smiling.

- but she also is the most comforting and kind person who would never hurt a fly.

- there's like that rumor going around that she's a black belt in karate (and it's definitely true) but then she'll tell you that she's been a dancer since she was four and was asked to go to the Olympics for gymnastics but she turned it down for an education.

- she probably buys all of her clothes at thrift shops

- she’ll probably rule the world one day and nobody will be surprised. 

- she has a lot of money and she donates it to charities and spends every free Saturday morning at the homeless shelter or studying

- Saturday night she's in wicked black eyeliner and combat boots chugging an entire bottle of vodka just because someone said she couldn't

- she'd probably slap you with her perfectly manicured hand if you tell her that girls are weak

- clothing switches between killer dresses and leggings and big sweaters

- this cool silver hair that she's always had

- both of her parents are from India, but she was born in America

- huge social justice warrior

- feminist af

- doesn't take any shit

- studies a lot

- writes down all of her notes into a notebook, and the copies it onto note cards, and then studies the note cards

- speaks like, 7 languages including (but not limited to) french german spanish italian and hindi

- double majoring in liberal arts and psychology and regretting every second of it. 

- she’s going to go back to school after she graduates. she’ll wait though. she’s taking her time. wants more than anything to figure herself out. 

- has a really hard time admitting her mistakes. she beats herself up about a lot of things, and she holds herself to an almost unreachable standard, but her friends are there to make sure she doesn’t work herself to death.

Keith

- that kid that has a resting bitch face and looks weird and rude and unapproachable

- but he's kind and volunteers on weekends

- he listens to hardcore punk music and he tells himself he's intimidating

- but he'll find himself dancing to the Beatles or Elvis in his underwear at 3 am

- he never really understood relationships bc he grew up without any parents to explain love to him

- he sees Lance and feels all happy and bubbly and he's never felt this before so he gets sassy and snarky all the while subconsciously becoming great friends with him

- Keith wears ripped skinny jeans in hundred degree heat and tends to put his hair up in a bun

- even though he says he doesn't worry about what other people think he once wore nothing but yellow for a month bc someone said that it was a nice color on him (he wore it in small ways like a hat or a pin)

- Keith doesn't have many friends and doesn't really talk to people because he's a shy little ball of angst and anxiety

- he has a great laugh and will always try to make you happy if you're sad

- he's just a sweet and bubbly little kid who tries to act all punk rock and intimidating

- he probably wears a lot of flannels and those small little leather bracelets

- he's had his ears pierced forever but only started wearing earrings as a junior

- he talks to all of the lower class men and shows them where their classes are

- he lives in his own little flat on campus. he couldn't room with anyone else because his anxiety was too bad, but it's fine, he's always liked living on his own

- he has a nice little job working at a successful coffee shop downtown. (their most constant customer is Lance)

- studies a lot

- likes to look at stars, but has a real affinity towards history

- drinks a ton of coffee and tea, but would rather jump through fire than drink hot chocolate

- vanilla guy

- doesn't really like animals, unless they're super tiny dogs

- writes poetry and it's scary good

- he's a very good listener

- he tries to give hunk his sweaters back

- coNsPiRAcY tHeOriEs

- his life goal is to prove the multiverse theory

- a sad, starving history major

- no matter how many hours he works he always spends all of his money on paints and pencils

- only survives on meals from his friends

- has sleepovers w lance (in different beds because lance is a ball of repression)

- they always have fun and there's this rumor that they're dating in secret and he goes to Keith's house to like make out or smthn and once lance came home with a bruise on his chin and everybody thought it was a hickey but really keith just threw a monopoly piece at his face.

- *something minorly inconvenient happens* “wow god why don’t you just kill me already.”

- speaks in vines.

- “kiss me” “what?” “well man I like getting KISSED when I'm FUCKED”

- great at ping pong somehow

- speaks japanese

- insomnia is a bitch but when he does sleep you’d probably have to literally stab him to wake him up. 

- doesn't talk to many people in person but is literally facetiming lance and texting shiro 24/7

- hates. apples.

- will never in 3000 years eat one

Hunk

- such a warm guy

- he's always kind of under appreciated and people don't talk about him as much as they should

- he doesn't mind, he just loves being there for his friends

- super duper smart

- he's been friends with Lance since forever

- born in Hawaii but moved to the 48 states when he was 4

- loves. swimming.

- he's the mom friend

- he wears all of the jumpers and hoodies and is always super kind and lends them to his friends but they never give them back

- that's ok, he secretly gets really happy when he sees someone wearing his clothes

- he's a big guy who everybody loves and would protect at all costs

- blushes a lot. like. a lot

- super great cook!! nobody knows how or why, but he's The Best™

- always has on fancy shoes

- he gives the gREATEST HUGS IN THE UNIVERSE

- he always smells like cologne. but it's not the very strong cologne just a wonderful little scent

- he can find the most constellations

- surprisingly athletic for his size

- he cried during big hero six

- binge watches everything on Netflix

- has a mischievous streak

- seriously super duper smart like he could've gotten into any school ever but came to this college to save money.

- meticulously organized

- he's really into healthy eating but he's definitely been known to indulge once in a while

- culinary arts major. he was originally in the biomedical field freshman year but he realized his dream was to open a restaurant so he took a chance a switched majors.

- always the friend that quietly pays the bill before anybody even notices

- works at the shelter and is the best at caring for the animals and finding them homes

- even though he's the nicest he's also done with your shit 24/7

- most of the time he's nice but when he's tired from a long night he's unconsciously the snarkiest and most sarcastic piece of shit but he never remembers it when he wakes up more

[suiciderealestate]

It’s almost time for me to move to New York. At twenty-seven years old it doesn’t feel like a romantic coming-of-age story anymore. It feels more like a last-ditch effort to salvage my youth and escape the precipitous cusp of mediocrity.

In New York I hope to find my voice. I hope to find my beauty. I hope to find something that gives me a more complete sense of fulfillment, that eases the journey of my life in a way that reassures me I haven’t navigated this maze with a proclivity for every wrong turn. Life’s path is winding, and I often feel like I’ve just been running in circles. Maybe I will never escape that feeling. Maybe it exists by design.

Now that I’m preparing to leave, it feels like the Universe is tossing every obstacle in my way, draping cosmic interruptions in veils of everything I’ve ever thought I wanted. I think New York is what I really want now. I think being alone is what I really want now. But a short line of all my past loves seems to be traveling in a grim colonnade over the horizon to capture my attention and redirect it to the same sinkhole I’ve been stuck in for what seems like forever.

I told Elic I loved him the other night after I took him out for his birthday and paid for just about everything. It was funny because that’s exactly what I said I wasn’t going to do, but it’s exactly what I did. I said I wanted to reestablish our relationship. I told him I wanted to put our spotted past behind us and start over as friends. I said it was important for me to move to New York feeling like I didn’t harbor any lasting grudges against people who had taken up so much of my life, my money, my emotions. He was an investment for me over the course of two years when I thought I could salvage a future between us. I no longer feel that way, but that mother fucker still finds a way to sweet talk me into paying every time. He has a boyfriend. He says he wants to leave him and move to New York with me. What he really wants to do is move to California. I’m not stupid. I’m malleable and far too forgiving, but I think I can finally say that I’m not stupid. I told him I would look into the possibility of him coming with me. He gave me two days to give him answer. But whether it be two days or thirty, it will be a cold day in Hell before I tie myself down to another needy, selfish man. I love Elic, but I love him in the same way that I would love an old car that sits in the back of the house, unused. He represents a museum, a mausoleum, of some of my worst times, some of my highest hopes, and all of my greatest delusions.

He isn’t the only one, either. I started talking to a boy named Jonathan again the other day. I guess he was passing through Garden City and thought I was still there. I guess he wanted to fuck. I always blamed that nameless fuck that came after him for giving me mono, but the more I think about it, the more I’m sure it was him. We had decent chemistry but there’s no doubt that he’s a nasty guy into nasty things, and it’s really a wonder that I didn’t contract something more serious. I sent a flirtatious picture of my dick, surrounded by hundred-dollar bills. It was a tacky thing to do, and sure enough he dropped out of school, left that island off the Florida coast and moved to Montgomery, Alabama, where he now resides in what looks like a flophouse. He said he hadn’t eaten all day when I talked to him. He said he needed a hundred bucks to get him back on his feet. But I’m not making any money right now. I’m just hiding in Nashville waiting for my escape. I just want to leave all these keepsake pennies behind and start over. All these boys want is money. I guess that’s probably all I’m good for, since sex and beauty aren’t exactly my strong suites. Cynicism, biting humor and random bouts of wild, unhinged exhibitionist behavior are more my strong suites.

Elic made a funny remark the other day when he was professing his love to me. He said he needs to stop dating for looks (his boyfriend) and start dating someone who has the key to his heart. I’m sure as hell I don’t have that key, and if I do I lost it a long time ago. Maybe he wants it back, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’m the ugly duckling in the list of people that circle in and out of his life for romantic or pseudo romantic reasons. He asked me if he looked OK. I just stared at him. His glacier blue eyes look emptier every year. His face looked hollow. His skin was flecked with little red marks that suggested drug use. He bleached the front of his hair. I told him he looked fine. When I asked him the same question, he just kind of looked at me. I am constantly reminded that I haven’t cornered the market on conventional good looks, but if anything I like to believe that I look unique. With thinning red hair, small, almond-shaped blue eyes, alabaster skin that turns red in my chest and around my cheeks, and an otherworldly cranial shape, give me what I would like to believe is a distinctive appearance. Unfortunately, I’m hardly photogenic. Sometimes I like what I see in the mirror. Sometimes I hate it. When I feel good about myself, I cling to those feelings for dear life, for as long as I can. Inevitably, I lose my grip on them, and in a world that prizes an online presence, beauty and all the hallmarks of success that come with it, I often feel crippled. My inability to take a good picture of myself feels like a curse. I am terrified of being filmed. Some people take bad pictures and it doesn’t faze them. For me, it feels like an indelible reflection of divine favor, or the absence of it. For many years I felt like a holy flower. Now I feel defiled by a wilting bloom. But I think there is peace in that feeling, somewhere at the bottom or in the center. From my dreams to my waking life, I walk a narrow road of endless illusion, just as we all do. Reality is part truth, part phantasmagoria. But despite the gradience of its actuality, I tell myself that even the highest mountains are little more than rushing rivers in the molecular onslaught of time. I hope to find some transient meaning in New York. I want to be an artist: a writer, a photographer, an incarnation of life’s highest values — love, creativity and acceptance. I want to feel every moment of my life, and even though it all blends together and folds away like an origami sky in the end, I hope to walk away feeling like I did my very best to be a complete human being. I don’t want to die a languorous, drunken man-child who can’t be bothered. Though I may not have been blessed with modelesque symmetry, a talent for mathematics or even a terribly exciting story, I think there is always time to build.

When I was a little boy I wanted to go to Harvard for law school. I didn’t. I went to a college preparatory school my freshman year of high school called Montgomery Bell Academy that would have put me on a steady path to that dream, and I was miserable. It was a school for boys, and being gay made that hard for me. “Gentleman, scholar, athlete” was their performative mantra. I didn’t live and haven’t lived up to any of those archetypes. I left after a year and went to several high schools, ultimately graduating from an alternative school that hardly anyone I grew up with has heard or ever will hear of. After college, the Peace Corps declined me. I couldn’t think of a project proposal for a National Geographic Fulbright scholarship. I didn’t get into the European grad program. Sometimes I feel like I took a devastating wrong turn in life, if such things even exist. I simply can’t keep up in the constant, mindless race to snatch credentials. But at the end of my life they would only ever be a hiccup in my elegy, things hardly worth mentioning. When I die I want people to tell stories about me. I want people to capture the essence of my personality and convey it like a myth, something that, in time, may or may not have happened. Whether or not it did doesn’t really matter as long as people talk about it. As long as, somehow, to someone, I’m worth remembering. I guess the greatest approval we can ever achieve is our own.

More than anything, I’m going to New York to be reborn. Twenty-seven years may have passed, reflecting nearly a decade of adulthood. Can anyone really stay young after thirty? I guess I’ll find out. Maybe youth is just a state of mind. Maybe there is something in me that has never seen the world, that the world has never seen. If it really does exists, if it’s hiding deep within me, I hope New York — and the labyrinth of opportunity it represents — will awaken in me the person I’ve always wanted to be: hardworking, creative, disciplined, fearless, colorful and fabulous beyond imagination. I want to transform my canvas into a work of art. I want to wash upon those fabled shores and for the first time feel the essence of the American Dream. More than a star, I want to be a force to be reckoned with. I want to be a loud voice in the world that reminds everyone, and myself included, that anything is possible.