#remembering .. sherlock discourse. people felt very strongly about it

[kissycat]

Remember when people used to get into honest to god online wars over who was the top and bottom in a pairing... As if those are essential immutable characteristics. Maybe they take turns sometimes 🙄

[theleftpill]

I'm not sure why I keep turning to your blog but you seem like a reasonable person so here I am again. The truth is, I'm feeling very lost. I wouldn't call myself a tjlc'er because I don't want to be associated with the core group. I don't go after other ships, I stay clear of discourse etc but I managed to convince myself that johnlock was going to happen. I don't know exactly when this shift between shipping johnlock and believing in it wholeheartedly occurred but it did. The fandom - or at +

I am cackling with glee over the Wank Pack’s flailings and drinking their tears with gusto but it’s you, dear Anon, and others like you, who number far far greater than the Wankers, who I feel for and get angry and frustrated for and I mean my heart breaks a little, honestly, reading your ask.  I’m so sorry you’re feeling so lost and hurt right now.  It’s an awful place to be in.  Especially since the whole thing has been manufactured by a “chosen” few - not jlock, which is a great ship, and not even t*lc, which as a theory and a fan exercise could have been a lot of fun and harmless - but this strident insistence that it was the only framework that the show could exist in and that it was the only endgame.  Because it just isn’t true.

You have no reason to feel ashamed for believing in tjlc.  You found something that resonated with you, that you felt strongly about, that you were able to connect with other people through, which put a smile on your face and made you happy, yes?  There’s no reason to feel ashamed by that.  The only reason you would have to feel ashamed is if you attacked other people for “not believing,” for being “casuals”, for shipping other pairings.  If you engaged in anything like that, now would be a good time to send some apologies.  That will help not just them but also you.  Make up for the shitty things.  You’ll mend some hurt feelings and feel more in control of your situation. 

Then remind yourself and keep remembering that the only people who should feel ashamed about this whole mess are the ones who started attacking others, who sent harassment and abuse to other fans, who sent harassment and abuse to the creators and actors and the BBC, who continue to do that, who continue to insist that they’re right and to “keep believing” and to brainwash and gaslight others into staying with the Conspiracy.  Those are the people who need to be ashamed.  If that’s not you, then you don’t take responsibility.  If that is you, then *stop.*

Yes, the core is louder and angrier and more determined than anyone else in that branch right now - they always have been.  But it is possible to take back your control from them.  Shut them out.  Unfollow them and anyone who reblogs them.  If you’re unfollowing a friend, tell them why so they understand.  Block freely and with gusto.  Clear your dash.  Don’t go into the tags.  My tumblr friends are always commenting on the hate they see on their dash; I never see it.  Because I’m careful of who I follow and who I interact with.  When you find a healthier space in tumblr, spread the word to others who feel the same way as you.  It is possible to enjoy tumblr without engaging in the ugly side.  It takes work but you can do it.

I think that right now, since you’re really feeling hurt, the next best course of action is to step back from Sherlock and the fandom; to what degree is up to you.  The episodes have aired, there’s not going to be a fourth.  The narrative that’s been presented is not going to change.  Accept that first.  Then you decide how to enjoy the show and fandom:  Do you continue to enjoy the show with a shifted pov?  Do you continue to enjoy the show believing in jlock, which of course can be done and is completely valid for yourself?  Do you ignore S4?  Do you withdraw from the people you find toxic and clear your dash of the petitions and revenge and aggression?  Do you maybe find the others who are like you - want to believe but don’t want to be involved with the hate?  Do you find entirely new groups of fans and new ships?  Do you withdraw from tumblr completely?  Do you walk away from the show entirely?  All of these options are possible, but you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you. 

I’m so sorry you’re in such a bad place.  It never should have gotten this far.  I am glad that you feel you can come to my blog and to me; you can always turn to me if it helps.  I might not always be the quickest responder but I am always happy to connect with fans and friends who might need a shoulder.  Find others like me.  They’re out there.  Surround yourself with the good stuff.  Watch the episodes you love the best and enjoy the good parts.  Maybe start to see new things to love about them.  Sherlock is an amazing show, for all its faults.  Find something entirely new to drift into - a new show, a new hobby, something other than television, whatever you need to fill that gap.

Good luck, and let me know how you’re doing.  I wish you the best.