#remember when this fic had a plot? ya me neither lmao

[joonsdiary]

worth fighting for (05)

pairing: jungkook x female reader genre/warning: a pinch of fluff, a dash of angst / royalty au, historical au / tw: the constant yearning is ever omnipresent, oc/reader in constant denial, would probably consider this slowburn word count: 5,559

summary: fresh out of the perils of war, jungkook didn’t think that his task as the newly appointed general would be to look after you.

                                                                       FIVE.

“No, you need to grip it harder.”

You roll your eyes at Jungkook’s command but follow his instructions anyway. Beads of sweat roll down the nape of your neck but you pay it no mind, focused on the task at hand — so to speak. Getting down and dirty is not a current concern for you; either way, you’re due for a bath soon. You lick your lips as you stare at him, eager to gauge his reaction. The general has proven to be hard to please, but you intend to impress. You did not want him to think you’re going into this blindly and without experience.

The anticipation in Jungkook’s eyes is palpable as he awaits your movement.

You charge towards him and swing deftly at his direction, which he dodges with unbridled swiftness. Clenching your jaw, you grip the sword’s handle as instructed seconds prior and turn to swing at him once more. Instead of avoiding it, he raises his right hand to block your sword with his. The unmistakable echo of clashing metals gains two pairs of eyes who look up from their task to witness the event.

“Good. You’re already getting better.” Jungkook pants as he lowers his weapon. You mirror his actions as a small grin creeps its way up to your lips. Not too far from where you stand, Jimin and Miyoung clap encouragingly. Jimin hollers for extra effect and you face to wave at them before bowing, earning a louder applause.

You chuckle at their antics and face Jungkook, curtsying towards him as you do. He knows it isn’t meant to be a serious gesture, so he waves you off, nodding his head with a look of encouragement apparent on his face.

It took several days of convincing before Jungkook agreed to teach you the basics of sword fighting. He wasn’t too keen on the idea — and you have a feeling he will never warm up to it despite agreeing — especially since he knows your father does not approve.

“But the king isn’t here to stop either one of us, is he?” You reasoned with him one morning when he had been busy embarking the carriage with extra supplies. You had all agreed to stop by a small village, taking precautions to conceal your true identity.

(It has been easy for Jimin and Miyoung, not so much for you and Jungkook. But you manage, nonetheless.)

“I just know he would not approve,” Jungkook murmurs, followed by a quiet, and how dare you speak of your father in that manner? He does not look at you, too focused on securing the blankets so they won’t fall as you continue trekking the bumpy roads.

“He had no problem when Hoseok taught me,” you attempt to reason with him. “Plus, it’s only been three days since your injury, and you’re still not at your full capability. You could use an extra hand.”

“But you’re supposed to be the one who needs protecting,” he seethes. You can tell he wishes for you to drop the matter.

You won’t budge, of course.

Stubborn as a mule, or so Jimin puts it. You’re aware he means it as a form of endearment but being compared to an animal never felt like a compliment.

He makes his way to the front of the carriage where the horses are and asks Jimin if he’s all settled. The older nods and grins, cheekbones protruding and eyes shifting to adorable tiny crescents. Jungkook turns to you once more.

“What happens if you’re the one who gets injured next time?”

You try not to read too much in the way his eyes gazed into yours, round and filled with worry. Ignoring the rapid thundering of your heart against your rib cage, you shrug. Feigning nonchalance always seems to work.

“I know I won’t be harmed if I learn from the best, right?”

The statement was untrue – Jungkook’s injuries are a testament that no matter how skilled one is in combat, they’re still human, and therefore vulnerable. But you figure boosting his ego will do the trick.

So, here you are on your second day of practice, trying to shake the rust off your joints. You still remember some of the moves Hoseok taught you; it’s just a matter of trusting your instinct as you continue sparring with Jungkook. Although he hasn’t made you learn anything too complicated yet, his reason being that he is technically still injured. He argues that moving around puts too much strain on himself.

Yet you see him carry loads of heavy items all the time. He sets up the tents, starts the fires, and occasionally tends the horses. You know he isn’t by any means holding you back – it’s just a matter of trying to coax him into teaching you more difficult movements. The man is easily swayed with words, after all.

“Your Highness!” Miyoung calls out and waves at you. “Are you ready?”

“I’ll be right there,” you shout back, before turning to Jungkook to hand him the sword. “Thank you for today.”

He grunts in response and motions for you to lean it against the rock as he carefully cleans his with a cloth. There is a sudden pause, more on your part, unsure which parting words to say to him.

Do you just leave? Or does the situation warrant some sort of goodbye? See you later, perhaps? The schedule for today did not guarantee that you’ll see him again in a one-on-one situation any time soon and saying see you later seemed way too informal. So, after thoroughly searching your brain for something, you come up with —

“I’m going to bathe now,” you announce aloud.

His expression morphs into a grin at your revelation and you berate yourself mentally. It’s not like you needed to declare it to him as if he already didn’t know. Now it just seems like you’re trying to invite him to go into the lake with you as if to say – ‘I’m going to bathe now; would you like to join me?’

Idiotic, pea brain, airhead —

His chuckle interrupts your thoughts, a deep rumble that comes from the back of his throat, sending your nerves in a frenzy for reasons unknown to yourself.

“I know.” Gods, you’re itching to smack the haughtiness out of his face. “Do you wish for me to join you?”

“I knew you would say that.” You roll your eyes despite the warmth creeping from your neck up to your cheeks. You are probably a whole tomato right about now. “I just said it because I wanted to make sure you’re aware, in case something terrible happens.”

Not quite. But you slipped up and you’ll rather make up a believable lie than admit otherwise.

“You didn’t say no.” He taunts you; the small grin now forms a smile that occupies his whole face. “I’ll take that as a go-ahead —”

“No, you degenerate.”

Jungkook grins as he watches you stomp away, grumbling to yourself about god knows what. He pinches his hot earlobes, hoping you didn’t notice their bright crimson tint.

//

“You seem to be having fun, Your Highness,” Miyoung drawls on the last two words, her tone teasing. Your stare is cold, but you realize you genuinely have no idea what she could be referring to, so your brows knit in confusion. She moves behind you, grabbing the strings of your dress before pulling it tight, drawing a hiss from you. Realizing she hasn’t answered your cause for confusion, you voice your concern.

“What do you mean?” You tug the damp strands of your short hair, twirling it absentmindedly between your fingers. Fun is not the word you should use to describe the events leading up to today. The conversation a few nights back after getting attacked — and you admitting that perhaps killing said attacker didn’t leave you feeling gratified — left Jungkook more distant than he usually is. It took plenty of coaxing and promises to let him teach you and although he’s hesitant to show you advanced movements, it’s infinitely better than nothing.

“I’m sorry I had to interrupt your alone time with the general,” she carefully loops the strings into a taut bow. You exhale out a scoff, hating how little room you had to breathe.

“It was hardly ‘alone time’, with you and Jimin so close,” the words are out of your mouth before you realize the weight of their meaning. “I didn’t mean –”

“Duly noted. If you were so privy to time spent with him, you should’ve let me know sooner.” She turns you around and you’re met with the playful glint in her eyes. You know she will not drop the subject despite your protests, as you’ve learned from her numerous taunting.

“It’s good that you’re releasing some of that tension, though,” Miyoung continues her one-woman monologue when you don’t respond. You tilt your head to one side as your eyebrows twitch. “You’re too tense around him even more than usual lately.”

“I’m not —”

“And who could blame you? With those massive shoulders of his. Don’t deny it, Your Grace. I saw how you looked at him the other day while dressing his wounds.”

“I wasn’t —”

“I mean, the man stands as if he’s a mountain daring to be climbed. Don’t mind if I do.”

“Miyoung!” Your voice is apprehensive, hoping it’s enough to chastise her. But it had been too late; the images you’ve been trying to push out have seared themselves into every nook and cranny of your brain. You’re reminded of the way his undershirt clung onto his sweat-clad body after hours of jousting. It had been particularly difficult to keep your eyes from trailing anywhere down south of his collarbone.

The short trip down the memory lane coloured your cheeks the slightest hue of crimson. It’s enough to warrant Miyoung’s descent to a fit of giggles.

“Speak of the devil,” her attention is caught by confident footsteps behind you and you don’t even have to think twice because who else could it be? “Your meal order has arrived.”

You give her an exasperated look before spinning on your heels. Your breath catches.

You hadn’t particularly noticed how much taller he is compared to you — there was never the need to point out such obvious discrepancies or make a big deal out of them. It was a simple fact of the matter. But now that Miyoung has pointed it out, it was tough to wedge it out of your system.

It hasn’t always been that way since you’ve grown immune to her taunts about Jungkook. It reminded you of your sheer inelegance more than a month ago — when he had discovered you traipsing in the middle of the night with Luna in a feeble attempt at liberation — and how warm and sturdy he felt underneath you. How strong arms helped you up your feet, regaining the balance you had lost. How far you need to lean upon your toes to be able to reach his lips with yours. A mountain daring to be climbed.

You gulp as he approaches, his figure easily towering yours.

Miyoung asks something behind you as soon as Jungkook is within earshot, but with all the blood rushing to your eardrums it’s quite a challenge to understand anything and everything going on around you.

“I just couldn’t turn down Her Highness’s invitation for a bath, could I? Although I suppose I’d arrive a little too late.” Jungkook taunts, eyes gleaming with playfulness. But you blink up at him, mouth slightly agape and throat dry. He swipes his hair away from his face, a look of confusion replacing his frisky demeanour. Oh, how must it feel to run your fingers through his soft locks?

“Are you alright?”

The worried look on his face is enough to return you down from whatever cloud you’d been in. Face flushed, you blink up at him before giving Miyoung a slanted gaze, who is studying you with the same distressed look. Surely, you’d have said something by now. That’s how it is with you and Jungkook and your back-and-forth banter.

“I, um,” your eyes are frantic, searching for something to land on other than him. His hand reaches for yours , but you flinch back—perhaps a little too excessive as the corner of his mouth turns to a frown at your reaction.

“I need a moment.” To breathe, first and foremost.

You didn’t wait for his reply, absolving yourself of his overwhelming presence, brushing ever so slightly against his forearm as you walked past him. You frown at your reaction.

“Your Highness —” Jimin comes bumbling by, but you quickly cut him off with a terse smile.

“Enjoy your bath.”

You are absolutely floored, the wind knocked out of your lungs and all. The realization couldn’t have come at more perfect timing. Of course, you like Jungkook. Your attraction to him is palpable; you aren’t fooling anybody by continuing to deny otherwise. Not Miyoung, at least, who probably saw this long before you had.

The question is: when did I not like him? It feels like I never stopped.

You groan at your thoughts and pause mid-walk to squat low on the ground, burying your face in your warm and sweaty palms. Denial is your middle name, and that has been your game since forever. Feigning ignorance of your feelings becomes your second language to the point where you’ve deluded yourself against any form of admiration towards the said general.

I’m fooling myself. Again. You can’t bear the thought of potentially embarrassing yourself like you did many moons ago trying to get Jungkook to watch that stupid play with you.

At least you’re not in denial any longer. Suppressing your feelings might be better in hindsight now that you’re aware of them.

…Or maybe not.

How naïve of you to think that pretending your feelings didn’t exist — despite being fully aware of them — is a better alternative to any other option. But you’re not one to back down from any challenge.

The next few days are not exactly breezy.

There’s the usual bit of travelling, the occasional settling down when the weather isn’t too great, then more travelling. You’re growing accustomed to the little schedule you have going on. Except Jungkook has increased your training hours. And even though it had been your goal to be taught by him, he hasn’t given you much to work with, either. It had been the same tiresome dance over and over again.

True to her word, both Miyoung and Jimin did not linger within earshot every time you practiced with Jungkook. Turns out being in close proximity to the very person you’re attracted to when you’re trying hard to close yourself off to those same feelings can backfire. Hard.

“You’re too tense,” Jungkook utters, seemingly out of the blue. But you know it’s not a random observation. He circles you, one hand clasped behind his back and the other holding a wooden sword. He insists that you practice with props recently, citing that you’ve been ‘too preoccupied in your daydreams recently’ and that ‘it’s too dangerous to spar with real swords if you’re distracted.’ Yeah. Whatever. You’re too tired, both physically and emotionally, to argue with anything Jungkook says, so you go along with what he decides for the sake of your inner peace.

“Why does everybody keep saying that?” You snap at him unintentionally. His eyebrows quirk up in interest and your heart hammers wildly in your chest.

“Oh, so it’s not just me that noticed.”

There’s a pause, and you watch him carefully from the corner of your eyes, gauging whether he’ll strike at the very moment or not. He doesn’t, and in your impatience, you attempt to take a jab on his torso which he dodges with finesse. He grabs your arm and twists it in a way that does not hurt so much as to unhand you of your weapon. You wince, nonetheless, and he quickly let go.

“You need to be patient. You’re going to get hurt attacking blindly like that.”

“I know,” you mumble, fingers skimming lightly over your wrist. They burn, not because his touch is painful, but because his hand feels soft, leaving lingering feelings in the pit of your stomach. That is something that has been happening a lot as well. Any sort of physical contact with him makes you feel inebriated as if you’d puke all the contents of your stomach from a mere touch.

“What is it that has you so wound up like a tight rope lately?” Jungkook attempts to circle back to the conversation as you pick up your wooden weapon.

You do, you almost say out loud. But you keep your lips sealed shut and get into position instead. You wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, to demand an explanation to how he has managed to pull your heart right out of your chest and dangle it teasingly in front of your face. Out of reach. Your poor, poor heart. Give it back, you thief.

“How cruel,” you find yourself muttering loud enough for Jungkook to hear.

“Hm?”

He straightens up as if he’s ready to soak in all you have to say. To be fair, you haven’t given the man much to work with, opting to shut him out completely. You don’t make a conversation when it’s not necessary and only spend time with him during practices. It’s not like there is a need to do so outside of it, anyway. Despite your current circumstance, you’ve attempted to the best of your ability to stay as far away from him as you possibly can.

Which makes your current situation laughable. Alone in the middle of a dense grassland, surrounded by the wind and the mountains that stretch miles and miles away. You and him.

“I said, you’re cruel for overworking me. I don’t remember agreeing to increased practice time.”

“I don’t remember you opposing it, either.” He wears an easy smile, which ticks you off even further.

You inhale between your gritted teeth and take another jab at his torso, this time accidentally hitting the wound that’s only beginning to heal. He grimaces in obvious pain and panic surges through your veins. You quickly drop your wooden sword as you approach him with caution, unsure of where to place your hands so you hover like a half-wit.  

“I — Jungkook — I didn’t mean to, I swear.” You lower your hands, wringing them together as your head bows in shame. He exhales a short chuckle and your breath catches at your throat at his unexpected reaction. You expect to be reprimanded for being so careless.

“Good thing we opted for these rather than the real thing, huh? You would have had to stitch me up all over again.”

His placid attitude did nothing but put a wrench in your heart, squeezing it painfully. You almost wish he’d lash out at you, just so the task of pushing him away came easier. Why won’t you let me hate you?

“You’re doing that a lot lately, too.”

Startled by his words, you look up at him and meet gaze for the first time in a while, unwavering. Oh, how easy it is to lose all trails of thoughts as you navigate your way through the depths of his eyes.

“You’re distant — unfocused. You’re jittery and nervous all the time. You mumble a lot, which is frankly starting to become irritating.”

He closes the distance between the two of you, eyes scanning you with curiosity. His piercing gaze disarms you, rooting you to your spot.

“You haven’t been shy before when you berate me to my face, loud enough for all the world to hear. What’s stopping you now?”

Jungkook grins, teasing. He was trying to get a reaction out of you; picking your brain for some sort of response. Is that what he thought you’d been saying under your breath recently? That you’re badmouthing him? It’s not exactly your fault either that it turns out you’ve been mumbling some of your thoughts out loud.

But you do not dare give him the satisfaction of an answer, knowing that you’ll just continue circling one another. The only difference is he’ll leave unscathed, while you stay to pick up the pieces of your shattered feelings. So, no, you are not about to lay bare for him to step all over your poor feelings.

Lay bare.

You want to slap yourself at the image you’ve mentally drawn. Now is not the appropriate time for such scandalous thoughts. Or ever.

“I lost you again just now, didn’t I?”

You manage a tight smile. Guilty as charged. Jungkook doesn’t return the favour, however, his forehead creasing in confusion — or is it worry? You did not want to dwell on the thought for too long.

Jungkook shifts his weight between his legs, swaying back and forth slowly. It’s clear that he has a lot on his mind, so you wait for him to speak.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Your eyebrows arched, eyes questioning. It seems like a running theme now — him talking while you refuse to say anything.

“About this whole,” Jungkook pauses, hands gesturing aimlessly like a mime, “…arrangement. We’ve only been travelling for a little more than a week. It’s not too late to return and ask your father to reconsider everything.”

You shake your head, letting out a breathy laugh.

“Tempting, but no. It’s not like I have a choice,” your tongue slips, not intending to say the last sentence out loud.

You pray he didn’t catch any of what you’ve said, but the devastated look on his face tells you otherwise. He steps close enough that you feel his warm breath on your forehead. The smell of firewood and soap intertwines, and you presume he’s wearing a freshly washed shirt. Your head begins to spin as your knees weaken, threatening to give out at that moment.

Be still, heart.

You clear your throat and gather your wits before taking a step back, the tall grass tickling the back of your legs.

“What I mean is that I’ve made up my mind. I can’t just back out now; the implications would be devastating. Not just for me, but the whole country.” For you, too.

The thought of Jungkook being swept away to another war was too much for your mind to wrap around. You couldn’t possibly do that. Not to him. The possibility of sacrificing more lives senselessly when you’re

Jungkook’s mouth opens like he’s about to say something, but you shake your head once more as if to say we’re done talking about this. You know Jungkook understands; he’s one of the few people whose sense of duty comes before anything and anybody else.

That’s why the next words that come out of his mouth knock you off balance.

“Would it hurt for you to be selfish and put your needs before others?”

*  *  *

Jungkook blinks back in surprise. He has no idea where that statement stems from. But it felt appropriate to say, courtesy be damned. He wasn’t speaking as a general giving advice to the princess, but rather from one friend to another.

Since when were we friends, anyway? The thought sends a funny feeling to Jungkook’s stomach.

He can tell that you’re just as surprised as him, and for a split second, he can sense your vulnerability. He hadn’t witnessed it when the king bore you the news of your demise, and you didn’t show flashes of weakness either when you were almost kidnapped. He had always known you to be strong-willed, independent, and resolutely stubborn. A force to be reckoned with.

The thought makes Jungkook chuckle, and you eye him with suspicion.  

“What’s so funny, Jeon?” Any hint of weakness along with the heaviness of his statement vanishes as you snap at him. That particular conversation, it seems, will need to be shelved for another day.

Jungkook dips his chin, opting to answer your question with an inquisition of his own. He isn’t quite finished with you just yet.

“Is that all there is to it, though? You’re peeved about the increase in training hours?”

He’s unsure of what your answer will be. But even if you’d ask, he wouldn’t reveal that he was doing this with the intention of finding out why you’d been distant lately; more than what he’s used to, anyway. He hadn’t even noticed how much time you spent with him until you began avoiding him. Gone are the days of jabs and banter and are replaced with silence and brooding; a total opposite of that one moment you shared your aversion to violence and reluctance to hurt people. You had shared your concerns and broke down your defences only to build them back up again.

Is he wrong to assume that in the few weeks you’d spend together, some sort of friendship was formed? It appears so, seeing the way you expertly dodged his every attempt to close the gap — both literally and figuratively.

He tries to test his theory by stepping forward. As if on cue, you take one step back. The desire to keep you at arm’s length brews within him, the feeling intensifying at your every attempt to evade him. He wanted nothing more than to grab you by the arm and shake both your shoulders, demanding an answer to the question that had been driving him mad the past couple of days.

So, he does exactly that. You yelp in surprise, but his vice-like grip remains. He accepts your lack of protest as consent and doesn’t let go.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

As his eyes search your frantic ones, his mind wanders to a particular memory that sets this whole thing off. It evidently has something to do with whatever he’s said or done because he didn’t observe the same change in demeanour with Miyoung and Jimin. He’s the problem—that much he knows of. He comes up empty, however; there had been nothing he said or did you that stood out to him in particular.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jeon,” you croak, voice pitched and unnatural. “If I was avoiding you, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

He scoffs. “Yeah, but not physically. You’ve been out of it lately. Care to elaborate?”

Jungkook needs to know. If he had so much offended you in any capacity, he wants to make sure to do right by you. But apparently, you have other plans. With your mouth set in a straight line, your head shakes from one side to another. What was it about him admiring your tenacity for stubbornness? There are times he wishes for you to give in and not resist so much.

“Do you mind?”

Your voice is meek, a mere whisper, and it’s enough to snap him out of his stupor. Frowning, he retreats his hands, letting them fall nimbly on his side.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he sighs and his heart wrenches as he steps back. “If you really don’t want to share it, I won’t pry.”

You nod, visibly relaxing. He picks up the discarded wooden sword and continues. “But you have to stop being so…rigid. It’s not going to make it easier for you. Or for me.”

He grins, pointing at his lower torso. If you weren’t going to let him in on whatever secret you have, he at least hopes to smooth away some tension.

“You deserve it,” your eyes glimmer with humour. She’s back.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm,” you nod fervently, grabbing the sword from him. “For overworking me. I’m still royalty, you know.”

“That you are,” he resists the urge to tousle your hair playfully. “But if I remember correctly, your exact words to me were: ‘Don’t treat me any differently than you would any other trainee.’”

Your lips purse, gaze scanning him dubiously. “You got me there.”

There’s a beat of silence before you speak again.

“I didn’t mean to, though.” Your eyes fill with worry as you eye his torso, and Jungkook fears you’d spiral once again and close off on him.

He shrugs in good nature and slips his hand underneath his shirt, feeling for the bandage. The worries which stemmed from that event that led him to believe he’s unqualified for this task are beginning to feel foreign and far away as the skin of his wound slowly heals.

Yet he couldn’t help but ask.

“Why the sudden interest in brandishing swords? Do you truly deem me unfit to protect you after I got hurt?”

He didn’t mean to sound defensive, but it does bruise his ego a lot more than he’d like to admit. He wants to save you the trouble of aching muscles and hours wasted on practice, but you somehow cannot accept ‘no’ for an answer. He feels almost cheated for being coaxed to coach you.

“I never said you were,” your tone is clipped. “I thought we’ve already gone over this. You need all the help you can get, especially if we come across something like that again.”

“You’re a better archer. It’s safer, too. It puts you at a distance from potential attackers.” Jungkook presses.

“Would it hurt to know about sword fighting?” You challenge him, and the air of friendliness vanishes once more.

“Yes, it would,” Jungkook deadpans, pointing to the spot where his injury is healing. “As I said, proximity when it comes to close combat proves to be more d—”

“You think arrows are any safer? In case you forgot, I killed somebody with it,” your voice rises as you get closer to him.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! You need to play up to your strengths. Stick with what you’re good at,” he reasons, trying not to raise his voice out of respect. There’s a pause in the conversation, and Jungkook thinks you’ve dropped the subject.

Although the silence is short-lived. “Is that why you refuse to teach me anything beyond the basic skills?” your gaze is filled with anger, your every word laced with frustration.

“Yes,” Jungkook says earnestly, but fear pools in the pit of his stomach. It was the first time he felt that perhaps he should have opted to not tell the truth. But he can no longer take those three letters back, no matter how much he wants to. He’s starting to feel torn between his own decisions; making you angry had not been his intention.

“You’re not making any sense. You said I was brave.” Jungkook watches your lips move, but the words barely register in his brain.

“You are,” he says, almost exasperatedly. The back and forth dance between both of you is beginning to carve his patience thin. The air hums with intensity as neither one of you is willing to back down.

“You say that yet you won’t teach me advanced combat,” you assert defiantly.

His temper ignites as he grits his teeth as his jaw clenches with indignation. But he is teaching you. Maybe not in the way you wanted, but he’s still making the effort. What will it take for you to understand that he is merely trying to keep you from getting hurt?

“Either you trust me to be able to handle it, or you think I’m too delicate to be taught. It can’t be both, General Jeon.”

Oh, so you are back to being formal with him. Jungkook resists the urge to roll his eyes. “The answer is still going to be a no.”

He turns, wanting to leave the conversation, but your next words have him rooted to the ground.

“Hoseok wouldn’t have kept me from learning. I wish he was still here.”

“Yeah, well, I wish it had been me who died instead of him, too.” Jungkook answers without missing a beat, the phrase tasting rancid in his mouth.

Jungkook knows he will never eclipse his brother. Not in talent. Not in the outpour of attention he got from his parents. Not in his easy-going nature that has people enamoured by him. Most certainly not in your adoration for him.

How does one compete with a dead person? He chuckles bitterly at the thought.

He keeps his back to you, shielding you away from the storm brewing in his eyes. He attempts to blink back the tears pooling in his lashes as he focuses on the horizon.

“Jungkook, I —”

He begins to walk away before you can get another word in. Somewhere deep in the crevices of his mind, the thought of wanting to be held back swims without restraint. For you to reach out, hold him, and tell him it was going to be alright.

But the reality is much harsher than the tiny little daydreams in his head, and you make no attempt to stop him in his tracks. Each step he takes feels as if he’s being dragged deeper into quicksand; he simply can’t escape the dread that follows.

Given the choice between having his heart ripped out from his chest for the second time in his life or getting stabbed in the torso, Jungkook thinks he prefers the latter.

— prev ; next ; series masterlist

taglist: @apurpledheart @mygukandonly @fan-ati--c 

[jennycalendar]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[karelysse]

"HOTLG Rework" asdfghjkl I think I love you. Tell me more about the FIC FUTURE ANGST

YEH that meme djkfgjkfjgk im so sorry i forgot about it ;;; i DID end up reworking a bit hotlg!!! took out a few things that bothered me and uh. tried to fix some language issues cuz it was a mess (still is but. less bad ig). i still have a few scenes i couldnt get outta my head that i wrote aside n wanted to add but… didnt do it much bc i feel it was more self-indulgent than anything. so i still have that lil edit folder, for maybe in the future idk

oh lord……. that was a big thing i had all plotted up in my head when i finished chap2…. and stucked me a lil bc i wanted to write it so bad but told myself i needed to finish chap3 first……. and ended up doing neither oh what a mess. so i kinda resent that idea now lmao sdjskjd

basically (i ranted so much to @hanyuwus bout this on twt lmao) its like an angst au that gets set like, 5-6 years from now. Yuzu won oly beijing or didnt go fjfjk cant remember and it doesnt rly matter. He’s SOARING in jpn, hes adored (like right now, but then he isnt such an hermit anymore, goes to talk shows and stuff, does a lot of work for charities, building rinks and whatev) by the public eye. Javi is in spain coaching, doing his thing, he has one good student he’s tryna rile up for gpf, yeh, not much talking actively to yuzu bc you know how it is with yuzu and they never texted much when they were training together anyway. Last time they saw eachother was like, two years ago at cricket by accident, and they’re still very fond, just not that close anymore. Javi had sent him a message of congratulations for his engagement last year that yuzu didnt answer to. javi doesn’t know the girl, but brian told him she was like an actress/singer or something, super super famous back in japan, and yeah javi guesses thats cool even if it came out of nowhere or whatever, he knows its sometimes like that in japan and they look very perfect and happy on pictures. 

BUT THEN

fic starts. javi gets a call from brian. its been three weeks since the vid, the scandal, since yuzu disappeared from the surface of the earth. javi heard of it ofc, everybody did. was worried a lil but it came right at the end of season, when all his skaters were doing 4CC and worlds. and nobody texted him about it, he saw it on the internet like everybody else. basically yuzu fucked up and got caught on tape making out w some guy, when technically he was engaged with JPN’s sweetheart, that girl that everybody loved, for like a whole year. Apart from the fact that hes gay, the scandal is mostly about how they lied to everyone and looked like they had this perfect wedding planned up when rly it was all bullshit. and nobody likes liars, ya know. so yuzu just disappeared, the girl was papped with red eyes and sunglasses next to her parents a couple times, and brian calls javi.

he’s like u heard bout yuzu. javi’s like well yeah omg how is that doing. brian’s like, well its pretty bad. he’s here in toronto with us, he flew right away, but its like the middle of the winter, and people recognize him here he cant go out and its cold and full of paparazzis and im worried about him. i remember you have a shack or something you bought for your parents somewhere lost in the middle of spanish countryside? can we like. ship yuzu there. so he can get so rest. and javi’s like : uh well. yeah yeah ofc send him there if he needs my parents are in the city for the summer the cottage is free. 

so yuzu gets there, arrives in helicopter this dramatic ass bitch, while javi gets to the cottage b4 him to greet him and show him around a bit before he leaves back to madrid. but like. yuzu is not okay, the old lady that takes care of the cottage keeps whining to javi about how there’s so much renovations to do that she cant do bc she’s old, and javi is kinda…. in need of a break too bc of of reasons…. so he stays w yuzu a lil longer. and….. unresolved stuff gets brought up, and gets resolved. and happy ending. two lonely boys find eachother back.

jeez lmao i tried to summarize that but i suck so bad im sorry dfjdkfjdkj BASICALLY its heavily based on the song wake up by eden, and idk if i’ll ever finish it cuz…..ya know idk

[hiro-gari]

AAAA THANK YOU I'm so glad that you like the short dialogues and my potrayal for them!! Been trying to make Garou and Badd sounds IC enough because I tend to write them too OOC so I'm very happy that you thought it's good aaaah tysm 😭🙏💗💘💕

And yess same! 😆🙌 Ambiguous open ending sounds more interesting, because that way we can have unlimited possible endings as many as possible 👀✨

So what I've got in my mind about that Garou&Badd's dialogue endings are basically like these:

-Silly dumb route: I had older headcanon that they likes to chat random topics that often escalated into debate or making some stupid conspiracy theories ALL. NIGHT. LONG, lmao! Usually it was Garou who spout some random nonsenses first that Badd couldn't help but giving him responses, but occasionally Badd also suddenly bringing up some intriguing topics that pulling Garou's interest, lol! Let them being dumbass boyfriends who just likes to share silly interests with eachother 😆

-Heartwarming happy route: Y'know Badd is secretly a hopeless romantic who loves lovely idea of having soulmates that always find eachother no matter what? He was thinking that despite his first meeting moment with Garou wasn't perfect like what he imagined before (being enemies and not so lovey-dovey), but he loves Garou so much and sure that the wolfboy is his fated soulmate. And he wanted to know if Garou shared the same thought as him.. In which Garou reciprocated him, hence the sweet promise between them 😚

-Hurt/comfort route: I mentioned before that Badd's mom was the one who tell him about the soulmate concept, right? Badd missed his mom that night that's why he brings up the topic to Garou. He wasn't sure if soulmates are real or not. If the concept is real, he wanted to make sure Garou wont forget him in the next life. But ithe concept isn't real, he still wanted to be with Garou forever, spending time and living their life as best as they could.. :"") And Garou was here to comfort Badd and tried to get him sleeping soon, because they must go to work in the morning lol! 😂

-Angsty/sad route: This is actually the original ending before I scrapped off because I wasn't satisfied by it, lol. The dialogue was made when I was in my not-so-good days, and it was supposed to have one more line in the ending of their dialogues, something like "On the next morning, the rescue team found Garou and Badd died on eachother's arms" 😢💔

So the backstory, they both just finished their mission together, Badd was unfortunately fatally wounded before Garou could shielded him and he went berserk. Then to accompany Badd's last moment, Garou craddled him in his arms while exchanging convos just like they usually do when sleeping together. As Badd went to eternal sleep, Garou lost his will to live and died together with him. Hopefully Badd's story is true so they could meet eachother again. It was winter and the location was kinda difficult to reach, so the rescue team were too late to save them.

I scrapped off this idea because beside it was too sad, the plot was basically just like my Reincarnated Demon/Angel AU where Badd died, Garou went berserk and died too, before both get reincarnated as demon/angel (enemies again). Thus I decided to make it open ending with happier-leaning possibilities like on above examples 😅

BUT! After I read your interpretation in your tags: #so the second time I read it I thought maybe Badd has memories from a past life?? #possibly multiple liftetimes :’) #and every time garou forgets #but of course they find each other again #and badd tries to make sure he remembers this time around 😭

YASS THIS IS IT! Your idea is BRILLIANT, I personally love this way!! 👀😳👌💖🌟✨ Y'know I usually write stories where they both still can obtaining happy ending together despite experiencing angsty stuff throughout the story. And your interpretation is perfect for that situation! 😚👍

Tbh it reminds me of Madoka Magica story, where one of the protags has a controlling-time magic power which allowed her to go back in the past, just so she could save her bestfriend (or love interest). Even they have shared a promise that they wont forget eachother no matter what, which unfortunately the protags' bestfriend forget her everytime they meet again in different timelines. The anime looked so cute but actually very depressing (has nice OST and heart-touching sweet ending, though!).

But I believe despite being reborn, meeting again, then separated again by death, Garou and Badd still have the best happy life in each lifetimes! And even though Garou always ended up forgets about their past life, he never fails to find Badd just like what they have promised before, aww.. 😍😚💕 It gives Badd hopes that at least in the deepest Garou's mind, he never actually forgets their vow. It's like, the vow has already stamped on Garou's soul :"")💕

So in the end, Garou and Badd will always find happiness in their perfectly-imperfect life together as destined soulmates. They deserved happy ending throughout the whole hardship 👍💖💝

Waah sorry I was rambling too much again! I love it when discussing something with people, and your amazing takes or headcanons always make me go "OH YEAH I'M IN! 👀😳✨👏👏".

And I'm so sorry that you've been in bad day, gotta sending you support hugs, love, cozy blanket and hot cocoa on your way! I hope everything will getting much better soon for you~ 😤😚💕💞💖💝🌸🌺🌼🍀🍀🍀🍀🌻🌻🌻🌻🌷🌷💐☕🍪🍫

Also don't worry it's okay you can write whenever you feel like it, because your well-being is the most important thing. Please take your time as much as you need! 😉👍💖 We will still waiting patiently for your next works, so please don't give up, we believe in you! AAA I LOVE YOU TOO~ 😘❤💜💙💚💛🌼🌻🌼🌹🌹

P.S.: I will be right back on bringing my other silly headcanons that definitely much more happier than this one, 100% angst-free guaranteed (100% dumbassery guaranteed, though, lmao)! 😁😆 Maybe I will submit it to you on next week, hopefully it could liften up your spirit 😊🌸

-Little1993lamb-

----------------------------

Omg of course!! Gotta leave you some Reviews™️ too, even though you’re the master of them 😉 Sorry I sometimes struggle with articulating specifically what I love about your submissions and there’s always a whole lotta keyboard smashing :”)

LMFAO @ the thought of them staying up all night talking about completely nonsensical things just because 😂😂 (or maybe it’s not nonsensical, the OPM verse do be kinda crazy sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️) But neither of them seem to have many friends their own age, so they’ve probably got years of socializing to catch up on, some fantastical stuff’s bound to be brought up

I love all the different routes this could take: lovey dovey Badd yes!! It’s canon as far as I’m concerned 💕 this guy bought like 100+ roses for his sister’s piano recital, I refuse to believe he’s not absolutely full of love! And for the hurt/comfort one asjdkslsk *clutches chest* Badd probably struggles with just coming out and saying he’s missing his mom, but surely Garou’s realized by now how important family is to Badd, and he knows to give him all his love and comfort whenever he mentions her awww 🥺

Ack I definitely feel ya on the angst 💔 I too have a lot of scrapped angsty fics T~T in a weird way, it’s therapeutic though. And definitely don’t hesitate to post or publish it, because making readers Feel Things is what we do 😉 Even if it makes them mad at us 😭😭 Maaan I kinda thought that’s what you were angling towards, but now with the additional background story I’m- *holding back the tears* hnnnnnnn~ It’s bittersweet, but beautiful nonetheless 💕

AHH yey I’m so glad you liked my little interpretation 🙈💕 I imagine Badd just running into Garou again, getting attacked like he does every time, and being like “ah shit, here we go again, he’s clueless as ever” 🤦🏻‍♀️ But also he’s kind of excited to meet him all over again, and to see what kind of adventurous mischief they’re going to experience together 💖

I’m looking up Madoka Magica rn 👀 it looks excellent 👌 (I mean, you had me at “nice OST”) Ahhhhhh early 2010’s anime just hits differently, I’m definitely gonna check it out, thank you!

Thank you for always supporting me 😘💕💖 *lots of hugs to you* I’m just in a funky kinda headspace, work’s been kind of kicking my ass and it makes me sad that I don’t have the time or energy to do the things I wanna do waaa 😩 Thank you for always being patient with me 🥺💗💞💝 I’m so looking forward to reading more of your work (YAAAAS FLUFF TIME!!!), you do these lovable dorks so much justice, thank you for all that you do 😚🥰