#remember when aubrey tried taking this from him lmao

[melohax]

Who Sweetheart and Captain Spaceboy actually represent:

Warning: Major spoilers ahead.

I keep seeing people say that Capt. Spaceboy and Sweetheart are stand-ins for Sunny and Aubrey respectively but I personally don’t agree with that interpretation at all.

There’s also people who understand why Spaceboy’s arc is like that but still don’t really understand what Sweetheart’s purpose was. I’ve seen comments saying that she only existed to stall Omori’s search for Basil/the truth as much as possible.

So, my thoughts!

Not only are Capt. Spaceboy and Sweetheart actual game/movie characters outside Sunny’s dreamworld but:

1) Sweetheart already has someone who looks and acts just like her in the real world and it’s not Aubrey. It’s tyrannical candyshop owner that yells at her employee for every little mistake. Sweetheart coming from a land literally made of candy (Orange Oasis) also pretty much confirms that Sunny had the candy lady in mind.

2) Aubrey is assertive, stubborn and strong but Sunny doesn’t view her 12 year old self in a way that matches Sweetheart’s story arc. Even with older Aubrey being an asshole at first, I don’t think her real world self fits Sweetheart much either.

3) Spaceboy’s story isn’t the only one that relates to Omori’s and Sunny’s problems. Both Sweetheart and Capt. Spaceboy have story arcs that relate to emotional issues Sunny has trouble with.

4) Spaceboy’s story is about failing to let go of the past, trying to rid himself of emotions while actually being ruled by them and basing his identity on others. Sweetheart’s story is about obsessive self-absorption, denial of reality and a broken relationship with identity and love.

Spaceboy’s parallels with Omori are pretty obvious and most people have caught on to them so I’ll skip him and go straight to Sweetheart.

Sweetheart is self-absorbed and egocentric, something Omori accuses Sunny of during their confrontation at the end of the game.

Sweetheart thinks she understands what is love (baby don’t hurt me) and she’s in complete denial of anything that goes against her beliefs and wishes...

...Kinda like a certain boy who decides “there’s nothing there” in the real world if it’s too painful.

Sweetheart doesn’t even know how to love herself or what that even means.

She feels alone and like there’s no one else for her beside herself. She tries to find “love” in different external versions of herself but she’s unable to love any of them, even the “perfect” one. She says it’s because nothing matches exactly who she is but then can’t even explain what that means or what she’s actually looking for.

Now remember all the things Omori accuses Sunny of being during their confrontation. Remember how Omori says Sunny’s friends don’t actually love him, but the version of him they think he is.

In fact, I’d say Sweetheart’s arc is especially telling of how Sunny feels about love and identity. It’s easy to miss cus of how comedic and ridiculous anything related to Sweetheart gets but she’s surprisingly the Dreamworld character that I think is more of a stand in for Sunny than anyone else, while Spaceboy parallels the Omori side of his psyche more.

Sounds kinda ridiculous, right? Agreed but remember the conversation you can have with the Keeper Of The Castle.

He says he can see Omori has a “split soul” and tells us the story of Sweetheart’s castle:

Sweetheart’s castle is actually a dwelling that takes the shape of a person’s deepest desires and is somewhere for them to call home. Sweetheart’s desires shaped what the castle turned into but the Keeper says she still wants even more.

Kinda like how Sunny created an ideal world in his dreams that represents his desires and a place to always go back “home” to. And it’s still not enough for him either, he still wants more (that he “achieves” in the Hikikomori route).

I also think this is why Sweetheart and Capt. Spaceboy can never last whenever they try to get back together. It’s in the same way Sunny and Omori can never be together without one side crushing the other. Even when they manage to “accept” each other, one of them still fades away.

So knowing this, I think BOTH Spaceboy and Sweetheart, although superficially based off a videogame character and an obnoxious shopkeeper, have stories and problems that are metaphorical stand-ins for Sunny and his “split soul” aka his Omori side.

As a last dumb detail, both of their names start with “S” too lmao. This is obviously probably a coincidence but still something I thought was funny.

TL;DR: Spaceboy and Sweetheart are both different representations of the Sunny/Omori split.

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[into-the-clintoris]

OKAY

I recently got all swept up in the idea of an Umbrella Academy and The Adventure Zone crossover, and thought, yeah, you really can do a taz crossover with literally anything, huh? Now I absolutely MUST combine my favorite thing with my other favorite thing, Sanders Sides.

Hear me out.

So there I am, wracking my brain for a way that these characters could meet, and it doesn't really make sense because they're in Thomas's head and it's just kinda stupid and then this morning, I realize I'm approaching it all wrong. I'm looking at this from the perspective of a TAZ fan trying to fit something into the lore of my favorite podcast. I need to look at it from the perspective of a fander.

And what do fanders do? We make aus. Specifically found or biological family aus that no one asked for.

So @aubrey-tiny and @sanderssides-schmanderssides (my ts sideblog) proudly present:

Sanders Sides TAZ and McElroy AU

Note: for the sake of this AU, I'm only going to be speaking on Balance since the dynamic shifts so much all the time.

Okay, there are so many different ways this could go, even just in the first round, but personally I think that Griffin is Logan. Why? Because of the classic TAZ NPC pose, which is pinching the bridge of your nose in exasperation. Logan already spends so much time rounding up the other sides and keeping them on topic, so he might as well just be the long suffering dm. Furthermore, it takes a lot of creativity to come up with something like TAZ Balance, but I also think that we have to give credit to the careful planning, the rule noting, and general knowledge of DND that is required of any DM, all of which is more Logan's department. When I think of Griffin, I also think of philosophy, and the way he observes the world and the emotions it creates, and in general I associate philosophy with Logan's way of thinking and looking at the world.

Patton is Clint/Merle. Absolutely zero contest. He's small, he's goofy, he's the heart of the group with his faith and just general wholesomeness, bad jokes, dad jokes, IS THE LITERAL DAD, and is a healer. Doesn't get more Patton than that. He's also the mediator. The whole arc with John is so incredibly Patton -- what's that Merle Quote about joy? Also very Patton.

Here is where it could get sticky. The fandom usually pins Roman as the more flamboyant, effeminate, center of attention characters, so some might make him Taako, but I think Roman is Travis/Magnus. Remember, Roman's main thing is heroism and adventure, strength, sometimes a bit of a himbo, all of which describe Magnus PERFECTLY. "Do good recklessly" is absolutely something Roman would say. Roman, out of all of them, is absolutely the one who would be tempted, and then absolutely refuse to give in to a Grand Relic, and absolutely delight in the plans that he ruined because of it. Roman rushes in! And he is Creativity, so he would absolutely pick the most heroic class, then be disappointed to find that he has very limited options, then say fuck it and try to find a way to use as many moves as he can in the most creative way possible. Not to mention the excessively extensive backstory that Travis wrote and tried to shoehorn in as often as possible is exactly what a manifestation of creativity would do.

Lastly, Virgil is Justin/Taako. At first glance I can see why it wouldn't make sense, but it tracks once you think about Taako's personality and Justin's attitude toward the game. Theyre both sassy, kind of have that "dear god i do not want to be here attitude" but its all for show. Justin also wrote a bit of a gruesome past for Taako, which Virgil would absolutely do. But thats all surface level. To dig deeper, Taako is the anti hero, the one that would do anything, regardless of the morality, to save his friends. Virgil is known for the unconventional way he protected Thomas, by being the bad guy, until he realized people actually wanted to hear his voice in a good way. Remember when Taako said, "I'm worried no one else will have me"? That sounds like Virgil too. Virgil would take Lucretias betrayal the way Justin would, too. Family is the most important thing in the world to him. The fatalistic attitude, the "the world is ending and I don't care" thing, all very Virgil. And in the end, Taako never sees himself as a good guy. I don't think Virgil would either. (Oh, and Virgil would go batshit over dating the grim reaper are you kidding me???)

So that's my idea for a TS McElroy AU. Let me know what you think, and maybe some art?? I just don't want Veggie Sides to be my biggest contribution to this fandom.

(PS Janus and Remus would run Monster Factory lmao)

[griffinmcelroysvorecorner]

johann, barclay, and brad The Motivator bradson for the meme thing!! you can pick one if im breaking the rules i just.....u know

ALRIGHT LETS TAKE IT FROM THE TOP

Johann:

Favorite thing about them: He’s v sassy

Least favorite thing about him: his voice kind of grated on me when I first met him

Favorite line: (after making the thb cry with his music) *as smugly as possible* see, I told you so

brOTP: Avi, Magnus, Voidfish, Killian

OTP: Avi, Magnus, his left hand, his violin

nOTP: Lucretia, Carey, Taako, Merle

Random headcanon: sometimes he gets drunk and sits in front of the voidfish’s tank and asks why it doesn’t like him

Unpopular opinion: Johann’s not all that nice lmao? We woobify him but really he’s perfectly capable of being a little rat sometimes

Song I associate them with- One of One, duadita/Cold Cold Man-Saint Motel/While My Guitar Gently Weeps-Regina Spektor

Barclay:

Favorite thing about them: I’m loving how skittish he is sksksksk like you’d think Bigfoot would be a mix between Maggie and Boyland, but no. He’s just kinda like oh no oh god, oh no what’s... oh no. I fear for his blood pressure

Least favorite thing about them: nothing, so far

Favorite line: I don’t really remember when Barclay says literally anything so I can’t give y’all this one. I remember his initial conversation with Ned was pretty funny though

brOTP: Mama, Ned, Duck, Aubrey

OTP: N/A

nOTP: Mama

Random headcanon: bites his nails

Unpopular opinion: N/A

Song I associate with them: Cherry Wine- Hozier, Hellbent- Mystery Skullz

Brad:

Favorite thing about them: he’s SO sweet awww

Least favorite thing about them: he’s also.. incredibly cheesy, and I’m lactose

Favorite line: can’t say. I didn’t finish the episode and he hardly talks

brOTP: never thought about it, dudes got the personality of a pickle

OTP: Taako, Lucas, Sloane/Hurley. I live in crackship hell

nOTP: Lucretia

Random headcanon: tries really hard not to be like the rest of his family so he has to think about how much strength he’s exerting at any given moment

Unpopular opinion: he’s a fun character who should’ve been included in balance more

Songs I associate them with: Girls Like Me- Will Joseph Cook/Young Volcanoes- FOB/Eet- Regina Spektor

[intothespideyverses]

a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]: 

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah. 

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis! 

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it. 

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie. 

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window. 

“that’s it!” 

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack. 

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on. 

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals. 

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis. 

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that. 

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot. 

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does. 

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END. 

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

[vertigoambrosia]

so the only version of broken rules up seems like it’s just the german version

which is very annoying but i am having a very stressful time so i guess let’s hope there arent’ any long promos or plot segments at broken rules?

is pco vs ilja the most extra match of all time? like, are there any two people who are more extra?

oh we opening with the gunns/andy match? or will these be words i don’t understand?

i have a feeling the english version is taking longer b/c of the latter....

oh this guy isn’t tommy!

oh nvm

i like the music they’re using for this event but it seems pretty short/repetitive so it might get old fast

lmao it’s always the same crew guy getting picked on

um ring the bell pls

i bet bobby’s constantly kicking him in the knee because he heard old people have bad knees

i thought that was gonna be a shotgun dropkick from the top rope - that didn’t look like it was suppsoed to be a flying european uppercut but whatever

sometimes i can’t tell if people are chanting for andy or saying something mean about him

i’m not feeling a lot for this match and i’m not sure what it is. a lot of it could be me since things have been stressful

but also tbh i kinda miss when bobby was a guy to root against. i kinda feel like he’s a bit less compelling as a deliquent-sounding  good guy?

idk if that totally holds fast though cause i loved him and lucky’s crusade against the former A4 and tarkan

i think i’m just cranky though

LMAO ANDY REALLY

just straight up shoves tas in front of everyone

i’m a little surprised tas didn’t push him back

...are people chanting ‘veteraan’ or ‘floteraan’ i can’t tell

dammit tas

i’m glad you didn’t get superkicked but srsly

hah look at the look on tas’s face he knows something happened and he missed it

random women’s three way!

LMAO DID KRIS STEAL THAT DUDE’S CAMERA

i love her but if she took a camera like that from me i’d be fucking terrified those things are hella expensive

is that the ringside photos guy?

i saw audrey bridge wrestle as a face in gwf and i think she’s better at it than the heel shtick she tries here

haha i like how this match is starting though

i would like audrey to make more appearances though - she kinda shows up for matches but has never quite been introduced to us (as far as i remember)

i’d like to see her in a plot segment

YO THAT KICK TO MAKE KRIS DO THE BRAINBUSTER

good shit

lol wait is kris wolf so short that aubrey bent over is still the same height as her?

i like where they’re going with kris and kelly

what WHAT riptide is coming??????? yessssss

also ~mystery partner~

oh speaking of mysterys...

but first here’s these feudal assholes

aka game of thrones nerds

aka white men who think they’re hardcore

aj is that prince who thinks he’s a fucking badass and w

WAIT STOP THOSE SIGNS

‘prince of shit’

i guess ‘meister proper’ is mister clean in germany?

also like how they’re in like, plastic protectors

who is he teaming with???

who dis

oh it’s laurence!

he’s so wee tho

oh my god the crown are fucking insufferable

HAHAHA HE HAS THE JOB APPLICATION WITH HIM

..well now i just think aj and jurn are fucking

what are those dudes singing to the john cena theme?

lol is laurence even going to get to tag in it seems like avalanche is doing just fine on his own

i didn’t expect this to be so dominant but i love it

did robert hire someone new or did he adopt a son

ok now the crown are getting some offense but it took a bit!

ohhh the crowd are mocking someone (probably jurn) in german but all i can under stand is “du hast”

“du hast die ?????”

...just heard the commentary say ‘die raccoon power’

obviously i do not fully understand the gimmick

man i wish avalanche could spin me arouind

jesus fuck

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i honestly am genuinely salty

but to be fair i am probably still salty about dragan and will be for a very long time

oh boy it’s time for the lover’s spat

i really like seeing the german subs for english stuff though

god walter tim just wants to feel like you care about him say a nice to him!

i might have said this before, but as much as watching them bicker is sad, i’m not horribly worried about ringkampf breaking up sinc efucking axel and walter could never stop arguing and they only broke up cause axel left

i like the guy chanting ‘let’s go ringkampf’

der grapplefuck

will tim’s butt have a bruise from being dropped on the apron like that?

damn walter is throwing those chops with anger

haha i wandered away and fell asleep in the middle of a match i am liking

but to be fair i have been stressed be glad thanksgiving does not exist in germany and that your refridgerators work properly

ugh i still have to pack too...

damn walter stop being such a dick

the crowd seems to agree

at least for a moment

it’s interesting that this has a very different vibe than when they were against each other in the tag match

this is more like a competitive murder than ‘we are besties with issues and so we must fight’

which is the silliest

AAAAA

i thought it would end something like that

and yet....something tells me the drama is not over

is your true affiliation the one you wear on your shirt, your back, or your butt?

we literally just had this tag match last week so dover better fuckin lift two dudes at the same time again

specifcally jay and francis

i’m almost surprised francis doesn’t have some obnoxious red white and blue gear

HAHAHA THE YOU SUCK ON CARDBOARD

omg bless this crowd shitting on jay fk in their faces

icarus’ titties look...jigglier than normal

lol i see u nico

ohhh i didn’t realize this was a tornado tag cause i’m dumb, that is more fun

yay dover did the thing!

that first dive spot was brilliant but the second was like, the type of dive spot i hate the most

ohhh let’s just all crowd together so this guiy can jump on us even though one of us is his teammate

i appreciate that katja has a light with her so we can actually see the action when we go into the crowd

oh shit!

sir! get down from there!

that is not what i meant!

boys! you must stop hitting knees!

lmaooo at (i think) christian bischoff “..it’s kaspin...”

wait wtf i was laughing at christian and i missed the finish

that felt abrupt but ok i guess

sadly we all knew jay fk were retainign for now

“sadly”

i kind of want melanie to win just because i fucking love that portrait photo

omg melanie

yeah toni i cant stand that song either

HAHAHAHA poor tas

*toni voice* ..should i auf her fressen now?

ok the first song was perfect but i’m not sure what’s going on now

besides ‘lol melanie can’t sing’

which isn’t really true but whatever

...really?

oh come on

i was looking forward to an actual fight

and honestly, for melanie to have a longer reign than kelly

oh man here comes the crazy!

DROOGANOV

even though i know he’s from quebec i still get surprised when pco starts sounding hella canadian

probably because canadian accents are silly to us

the frankenstein-esque video in his entrance is so good i’m sad they aren’t really showing it

here comes a crazy russian boy!

uh oh felix is reffing a main event championship match....i smell a ref bump

though perhaps tas was like ‘no. i am not doing this match someone will kill me they’re both crazy’

...or maybe he just wanted to go home early  and since felix lives here....

ilja’s so nice he gave his opponent a weapon too

yeah i wouldn’t have knocked that chair on the floor bnefore using it

ilja should know those chairs are fragile

...unlike the chairs he just got thrown through twice

oh boy what is this man going to do with this lader

rip ladder (and somehow not pco’s back)

i guess wxw didn’t wanna fuck with tables for a lil bit after that one match so we’re getting this board instead

here in the states people use doors a lot

actually it might just be a northeast thing

see pco figured out to tap the chair lightly against the ground

ilja u shoulda seen that coming you doof

aaaaa noo he did the deep blade again this boy is just smeared in his blood

its in his hairrrrr

pco: shut up

*felix voice* i gotta drive this guy home what am i gonna tell his wife

ohhh dat moonsault?

not yet :(

yeah! (though he kinda missed)

AHHHH THAT CANNONBALL MISS

AAH AT 1

AND EVEN WITHOUT THE JUMPER CABLES

(if destro shows up with them i will mark the fuck out)

that match seemed a little like....out of order? but fun still

honestly i kinda feel like that show in general was good but not great, but i akso had really high expectations - like, laurence being the new monster consulting member felt kinda anti-climactic but like, who would have been better? that being said, the womens title match was definitely extremely disappointing - more just a LOL MELANIE joke than anything else

also i realized none of my rise bois were on it (or marius or tarkan, for that matter....)

now, i should pack, but i don’t have to leave until the afternoon and it’s almost 3am and i am tired so i will probably wait until the last minute

[waywardsignns-a]

Ozemir & Aubrey !!

♥ Send a ship and I’ll give you who || accepting

Gives nose/forehead kisses

Ozemir without a doubt gives more forehead kisses than she does, but that’s because she’s like a foot smaller than he is, and she’s always cuddling on him so her forehead is the closest thing he’s got. Aubrey, though, would definitely do way more nose kisses. Cuz she’s cuter than he is. 

Gets jealous the most

Ozemir! Don’t get me wrong, Aubrey gets jealous too, but he is definitely the more jealous of the two. Though… jealous might be the wrong term for it? I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m thinking of, but either way. 

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

Aubrey, I feel might do it more than Ozemir would? Though they both would do it without hesitation in the slightest. They both would drop anything and everything to do it too. 

Takes care of on sick days

Ozemir would do it more often than Aubrey would. She has a tendency of getting sick a bit more often than other people (she doesn’t have the greatest immune system). His patience will definitely be tested when she is too lol. She’s a gets whiny when she’s sick

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

Aubrey!! She is by far the more playful of the two and while she doesn’t like the deeper water where her feet can’t touch, she really enjoys the water anyways (in short bursts). Though poor Ozemir will probably get a bucket of water dumped on him before bolting.

Gives unprompted massages

Ozemir? It definitely seems like something he would do more than Aubrey

Drives/rides shotgun

Aubrey would without question. Both on the bike and in his truck… the bike for obvious reasons, and the truck, because she gets to look out the window and daydream while he drives.

Brings the other lunch at work

Ozemir definitely has a job that is a bit more flexible in the ability to do so, so he would be able to do it more often than Aubrey would

Has the better parental relationship

I would say its fairly equal! He’s got two wonderful Mother’s, and she’s got one, but honestly I’m not sure of one of them has a better relationship than the other. 

Tries to start role-playing in bed

Aubrey might try to suggest it for something new because she was curious when she heard about it, but I really don’t think that it would do much or would actually be something either of them are interested in lol

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

AUBREY. Everything Aubrey does when she’s drunk is embarrassing lmao. Though if Aubrey were to ever get Ozemir smashed enough to drunk, the answer would be, without a doubt, him. 

Still cries watching Titanic

Aubrey, but the chances of getting her to stay still long enough to watch such a long movie are slim to none. 

Firmly believes in couples costumes

Aubrey! It takes some convincing, but eventually she wears Ozemir down to agree.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

Ozemir!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, the man gave her a fucking motorcycle for Christmas for christs sake.

Makes the other eat breakfast

Ozemir again. Aubrey will forget to eat breakfast fairly often, even after she finishes with her yoga. 

Remembers anniversaries

Both of them would, though Aubrey would be the person to wait until the last minute to figure out what she wants as a gift.

Brings up having kids

Ozemir. She wouldn’t want to think about it quite frankly, so it would have to be him, and honestly no matter how often they speak about it, she won’t be comfortable with the idea… but despite that, she will come around. She is capable of doing something despite her own fears that would hinder her otherwise. 

[waywardsignns-a]

Ultimate Ship Meme w/ Ozemir & Aubrey !!! pls !!

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - for-fucking-ever fight me

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Oh god it was the slowest of burns I’ve ever had in my damn life. Seriously it took nearly 20 years for these two losers to fall in love

How was their first kiss? - drunk LMAO. They were hanging out together, having a drink and she was basically just “fuck it” and kissed him… and then did it again when she was sober because she had to prove a point

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Ozemir

Who is the best man/men? - His twin for sure

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - tbh probably one of the gals in their group. She might think of them as his friends, but she loves them either way

Who did the most planning? - Ozemir

Who stressed the most? - lmao neither. Aubrey was too excited to stress

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Kyle 🙃

Sex:

Who is on top? - Aubrey likes to be on top :) Ozemir probably takes it from her on a pretty constant basis though lmao

Who is the one to instigate things? - Ozemir normally

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys (Aubrey can be curious sometimes) | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - A hour? Maybe longer 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Oh I’m sure

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 1 maybe 2

How many children will they adopt? - 0 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Ozemir probably

Who is the stricter parent? - …Oz?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Aubrey

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Oz (leave the cooking to him)

Who is the more loved parent? - Aubrey probably

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both

Who cried the most at graduation? - Hands down Aubrey

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Ozemir

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - OZEMIR 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Aubrey

Who does the grocery shopping? - Oz again

How often do they bake desserts? - Probably not that often

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Salad eaters 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Ozemir lmao

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Neither

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Aubrey ..

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? - Oz

Who cleans up after the pets? - Oz

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - …Aubrey lmao

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Aubrey

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aubrey insists that its her and she refuses to share

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - they both take showers together. though not to have sex but because its cute and warmer that way cuz she can wash his hair for him (idk why but she insisted that she likes this)

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Oz mainly but he lets Aubrey try and laughs at the size difference

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Aubrey definitely tries to decorate for each holiday

What are their goals for the relationship? - Be there for each other no matter way. They’re succeeding

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Aubrey

Who plays the most pranks? - Both!