#remember when I would update once a day? how the fuck was I able to do that?

[luxcuriousao3]

Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter Three)

Summary: He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove. Word Count: 3176 Warnings: still no smut, flashback to semi-graphic noncon which can be skipped, the section is in italics with the middle and end marked by a singe asterisk (the triple asterisk denotes a POV change as usual) Notes: This is by far the shortest chapter in this fic as it currently stands. I am thinking of doing a double update today to make it up to the few of you who read this, whoever you are XD let me know if that is something y'all would like. AO3, Masterlist

Ghost’s little dove seemed determined to get herself killed.

He hadn’t felt so afraid since he’d been bitten, when he saw her run into the cabin without so much as peeking inside first. And then her scream—God, her scream. For once, he was glad he couldn’t sleep, because he knew it would haunt his nightmares if he did.

The infected that was trying to eat her was dispatched easily, though not before it got unacceptably close to taking a bite out of her pretty face. He immediately crouched down to check on her, thinking of nothing but making sure there were no bites hidden beneath her clothes. He didn’t consider how she would feel about him touching her—and he didn’t consider how he would feel, either.

She was so warm.

He could feel her body heat even through her long sleeves and his gloves, and it was addicting. He wanted to pull her close and press her against him, to let her warmth chase away the cold that lingered in his very bones ever since his undeath. And he almost did just that—but then she shrieked like a banshee and kicked him, clearly trying to get away. It hadn’t hurt, he couldn’t feel pain anymore, after all, but he’d let go instantly anyway, backing away and trying to apologize. All that came out was a wet gurgling noise though, so he stopped, just silently looking down at her where she still sat on the floor, staring up at him with so much fear and confusion that he would have given anything to be able to comfort her.

Johnny would know what to do, he thought, and once again, he couldn't help but wonder just who this Johnny was. It was the only name he seemed to recall, from before. And it was only after he’d found his little dove that he'd remembered it, remembered the name that went with the disjointed sense memories of bright blue eyes, a deep Scottish burr, and the scent of clean soap.

“You’re real. You’re real, and you’re not eating me, and you’re— you’re protecting me. How? Why?”

His dove’s words brought him back to the present, giving him a spark of hope. She finally understood that he wasn’t going to hurt her, that he was keeping her safe. He groaned quietly in agreement, to let her know she was right and not just imagining things, but he was unable to answer her questions. He didn’t know how he had managed to hold onto pieces of himself, after his death. All he knew was that he was one bloody stubborn bastard, always had been, and always would be. He liked to think that that had something to do with him managing to fight off the virus, at least a little bit.

As for why he was protecting her… well, he was lonely. And he was fading, succumbing more to his instincts with every passing day in isolation. He wanted human companionship so fucking badly, and he could already tell that it was helping him remain himself. He felt more present, more alive in this moment than he had since the day he’d been bitten.

“You... Do you understand me?” His dove whispered after a moment. She sounded like she knew the answer, but he groaned softly in response anyway, awkwardly jerking his head up and down in a nod. His jaw wobbled grotesquely as he did, and he reached up to steady it, not wanting to disgust her any more than he already had, not when they were finally making progress.

She sucked in a sharp breath, big brown eyes growing impossibly wider. She looked shell shocked, and Ghost didn’t know what to do to change that. He’d never gotten this far with a human, before…

“Are there more like you?” She asked haltingly, after a moment of tense, heavy silence. “That— that are— whatever you are?”

Ghost carefully shrugged his shoulders, but at the same time, he held his jaw in place, and then jerked his head to the left, to the right, and then back to the left. He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove.

“Oh,” she whispered, swallowing thickly. It drew his attention to the pale, bruised column of her throat, and his clouded eyes zeroed in on her pulse point. He could hear the thrum of her heartbeat, just underneath her soft looking skin. Her blood would taste thick and sweet on his tongue, he knew, and it would be so warm, as warm as she was. He sniffed deeply, groaning softly at her scent, and he felt drool pool in his mouth and leak out, down his chin. That, along with his dove’s small flinch, snapped him out of it. He quickly wiped the drool away, feeling embarrassed.

Slowly, she got to her feet, wincing as she stood up straight. She tried to dust off the dirt on her clothes, only to look distinctly horrified when she realized that black, congealed blood from the zombie that had attacked her now stained the stiff, pale pink fabric. She gagged when she accidentally touched it, and for a second, he worried she would throw up. She couldn’t afford to lose the little food left in her stomach, not when he knew for a fact she hadn’t eaten since before he found her.

He grumbled quietly, bringing her attention back to him, and then slowly moved towards the door, so as not to startle her. He picked up the corpse as he did, bringing it outside and moving it out of sight. He returned quickly, only to find her peeking out the door, watching for him. If he could have, he would have smiled. It was clear that at least part of her didn’t want him to go.

That part didn’t stop her from retreating rapidly as he approached, still maintaining a two metre distance from him at all times. He closed the door behind him as he re-entered the small cabin, then moved past her, deeper inside. He checked the single, tiny bedroom, but it was clear, just like he’d expected. He did find a thick quilt folded neatly over the end of the bed, and he picked it up, bringing it back to his dove.

She was in the miniature kitchen area, now, all the low hanging cabinets flung open to reveal bare, dusty shelves. She was currently trying to climb onto the tiny sliver of counter space to reach the higher ones, and Ghost growled disapprovingly. She startled, whipping around to look at him in fright. He held out the blanket as a peace offering, simultaneously moving closer. After a moment of hesitation, she snatched it from his stiff fingers and then backed away from him once more as she wrapped it around her shivering form.

Ghost opened the cabinet that his dove had been reaching for, and let out another growl—pleased, this time—when he found a solitary can of what he assumed to be beans, based on the faded picture on the label. He couldn’t read the words on it, and the reminder of how thoroughly the virus had destroyed so much of him made the hollow space in his chest ache faintly.

Once again, he offered the supplies to his little dove, and this time, she accepted it a little more graciously, a little less like she expected it to be a trap. Her fingers brushed against the fabric of his gloves, and he suddenly wished that he wasn’t wearing them so he could feel her warm skin against his own.

“Thank you.”

The words were so quiet, that without the virus’s enhanced hearing, he doubted he would have caught them. But he did, and his foggy eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. She didn’t notice how happy she’d made him, though, too busy pulling back the tab of the can and scooping beans directly into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure at the taste—clearly, she was even more hungry than he’d thought, if a can of cold beans caused that reaction—and a low sound grumbled deep in Ghost’s chest as a very human emotion stirred inside him in response. He stood there in shock for a moment as he watched her suck her fingers clean, before it faded into self disgust and he jerked his gaze away, walking back to the door to stand watch, like a good dead guard dog. Because that was all he could ever offer her, his sweet little dove. That was all he should ever want. To protect her. Not to fuck her. He was a revolting, decaying monster—his outside finally matched his insides. She would never have desired a beast like him even before, and she certainly wouldn’t now. He was depraved for even thinking about it. Perhaps the virus had twisted him in more ways than he thought…

***

Lelia devoured the can of cold beans like it was the most delicious meal she’d ever tasted—and she grew up eating at michelin star restaurants regularly. But she hadn’t eaten in days, and she was starving. Andrew had always taken half her rations, claiming she didn’t need them anyway if she was going to stay thin and pretty for him. Lelia had stopped getting her period soon after, and at first, she’d been terrified that he’d finally managed to get her pregnant. But the test she’d managed to get her hands on had come back negative, and no other telltale symptoms had cropped up. She’d finally worked up the courage to ask one of the other women on the base about it, and she’d given her such a pitying look before telling her it was probably due to starvation. 

That was when Lelia had realized that how Andrew treated her was no secret, to the other people on the base. He must have realized it soon after, too, because that was when he’d started trading her body to the soldiers for bigger rations and longer shower times.

That was all she had been worth. A little extra food and a few more minutes of hot water…

*

It had been only a month since the dead started walking, but already, Lelia wondered if those who died in the initial chaos were the real lucky ones.

She’d thought her life was difficult before, as Andrew’s wife, when she’d been living on a large estate, constantly draped in the finest jewels and dresses, sleeping in the most comfortable beds, and being waited on hand and foot by a host of servants. Yes, Andrew had been cruel, the bruises on her body and the constant ache between her thighs were testament to that. And no, she hadn’t had a lick of freedom, not even allowed her own cell phone, or to leave the estate without his permission. But that was nothing compared to the utter hell her life had become.

She and Andrew now slept on a bed hard as a rock, and the food they were given to eat was limited and flavorless, if not outright disgusting. They had no household staff to do all their menial chores for them, and their lives had been stripped of all the conveniences and luxuries they’d both always enjoyed. Lelia had struggled greatly to adapt, but Andrew had taken things much harder.

He was angry all the time now, and he had nothing to do other than take his frustrations out on her by either fucking her or beating her. Nothing she did could calm him down anymore, all the tricks she’d learned to do so were now worse than useless. Even still, he held up appearances whenever they were around other survivors. Which was why she hadn’t been expecting him to do this.

They stood outside the Sergeants’ barracks. There were three of them, she believed, but she’d never interacted with any of them, as Andrew didn’t like her talking to other people, especially men. He had been trying to become friends with them, as he often complained to her about the privileges the soldiers got, and how he wanted in. He hadn’t been successful, though, with his father’s money now unable to compensate for his lack of charm.

So Lelia was quite confused as to why they were here, and why Andrew had such a grim but determined look on his face.

Nonetheless, she played the part of dutiful wife, her hand in Andrew's as she waited patiently while he knocked on the door. When it opened, showing all three sergeants inside, Andrew turned to her, cupping her face in his hands, and looked at her with… not remorse, but maybe regret. Like he didn’t feel bad about what was about to happen, but wished it hadn’t gotten to this point.

“Tonight, the good Sergeants here are your husbands,” he told her, words heavy with meaning. “Do you understand?”

Lelia did. Lelia understood very well. But she shook her head anyway, tears pooling in her eyes.

“I’ve been good,” she whispered, heartbroken. “Please, Andy, I’ve been good!”

“So be good again tonight,” her husband said, voice hard, before kissing her forehead and letting her go. He turned to the soldiers, looking unhappy but resigned. “Use condoms, and be careful around her stomach. I’ve been trying to get her pregnant.”

Lelia wanted to scream as the soldier closest to her took her arm in his big, meaty hand and dragged her inside the room. But she said nothing. She couldn’t make her mouth work, because she wasn’t inside her body. She watched as the soldiers took her all night long, one after the other—even all at the same time at one point—but she didn’t feel a thing. Not until the next morning, when she returned to herself. Her whole body was in terrible pain. She was on the cold floor, naked and covered in dried semen, as the sergeants snored next to her in their bunks. Lelia got up slowly, gathering her clothes and carefully putting them back on. Then, she left, wandering the halls with a pronounced limp and a dazed expression on her face until she ran into one of the other soldiers, an Officer. He grimaced at the sight of her, gently taking her elbow and leading her to one of the toilets. He wet a rag and gave it to her, letting her clean the semen off her face—she’d not even realized there was any on it—before bringing her back to Andrew, who was passed out in their bed, an empty flask next to him.

It would not be the last time her husband let the soldiers use her.

*

Lelia sucked in a shuddery breath as she set the empty can down on the tiny, two person table in the kitchenette, shoving the memory away viciously. She immediately grimaced and wrinkled her nose, casting a glance at her new undead… companion. He smelled awful, like rot and decay and death. The beans she’d just eaten almost came right back up, and she covered her mouth and nose, trying to hide her impolite reaction. She’d smelled him before, of course, but now that she actually had something in her stomach, it was all too apparent just how difficult being around him was going to be.

Would she stay around him? And when had he become a him and not an it, anyway?

Probably around the time you realized there was something still left in there of the person he used to be, a voice inside her head responded to her unspoken question. The thought made her sad, and she felt a wave of sympathy for her zombie. She couldn’t imagine what his existence was like, stuck in a body that was falling apart, feared by the only people who could understand him, and unable to talk to them, to tell them he meant no harm…

“What’s your name?” She asked him quietly, almost taking a step forward before she thought better of it. He still smelled, and she still needed her meal to stay down. Getting closer would only tempt fate more than she already was by remaining in the same room as him.

Her zombie looked at her slowly, and though there was no expression on his masked face—she was unsure he could even make one, with his broken jaw and missing lips—she still got the distinct impression that she’d surprised him. She immediately felt bad. He’d saved her life twice now, three times if she counted the food and blanket, and she was just now asking his name. She should’ve done so the moment she realized he was helping her.

Her zombie lifted one arm up to his neck, grasping something and then pulling it up over his head before holding it out to her. A silver chain with a set of dog tags dangled from his gloved fist, and Lelia inhaled deeply through her mouth before walking forward, holding her breath as she accepted them from him. She retreated quickly, trying to suck in air as subtly as she could while she wiped the grime from the dog tags with a corner of the tatty, checkered cloth that was laid across the kitchen table.

“Riley, Simon A.,” she read aloud. Beneath that was his rank information—Lieutenant. She looked up at her zombie, and gave him a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Lieutenant Riley.”

Her zombie grunted, jerking his head back and forth hard. His jaw quivered from the force of it. Confused, and a little bit afraid, Lelia backtracked.

“I–I’m sorry, do you not want to be called that?” She asked nervously. All the soldiers back on the base, or at least the ones she talked to (meaning the ones her husband lent her to) insisted they be called by their proper rank. Though whenever they used her, they demanded she call them Sir… Lelia swallowed, feeling the beans threaten to come back up for an entirely different reason. She wouldn’t call him Sir. She wouldn't.

Her zombie approached her, seemingly agitated, and Lelia flinched, taking a step back. He stopped, watching her for a moment, but didn't come any closer. He just pointed at his dog tags again, and Lelia looked back down at them, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his name and date of birth. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw the year he was born—1981, he was the same age as her mother—but she didn’t let herself get distracted. She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment, before trying again.

“You want me to call you Simon?” She half guessed, half begged. When he nodded, she let out a relieved sigh, her small smile returning. “Okay… let's try this again, then. It’s nice to meet you, Simon.”

[bubbleteasing]

I know I just posted something but it’s still going to be a while until I can update my fics again.

Please bear with me for another week or two 😭

[adonis-koo]

wicked • 17

↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader

↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut

Word Count: 8k

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Note: it’s actually difficult to believe it’s been eight months since I’ve updated, went through two jobs, a friend group and a boyfriend who gaslit the absolute fuck out of me and made me experience female hysteria 😍 I wrote this chapter the night he broke up with me so it just has that nice little extra touch of ✨ intensity ✨ enjoy lovies and I will be back hopefully sooner then last time with another update

It felt wrong, packing a small case of clothes while so many things at the castle had yet to play out, and Wheein’s life was hanging in the balance of it.

You had no intentions to trudge your way to the barracks but here you were; early morning where all of the guards were training and the person you were looking for was watching them, hands on his hips as he called out to one of them to tighten their guard.

You hadn’t planned on talking to him today, but leaving without so much as saying a word felt wrong, and perhaps after everything that had happened you were searching for sober reassurance.

“Jungkook.”

Everybody froze at the sound of your voice, you ignored all the eyes on you, after having lived in Penumbra for almost a year, you had somewhere along the way gotten used to all of the eyes that constantly followed you.

The guards exchanged awkward glances with one another, Jungkook looked surprised by your appearance, eyes glancing over you as if you were a hallucination, but after a moment it was evident you weren’t going to disappear upon blinking.

He glanced between you and the guards before he waved them off, “Keep going.”

You couldn’t stand the hopeful look in his eyes, almost a bit bashful as you walked in line with him further away from the barracks, “How can you expect me to leave the castle when Wheein is in a dungeon? And furthermore sending your aunt to try and reconcile with me?”

Jungkook frowned, “Well I doubted you wanted to see me after my drunk display- which truth be told I hardly remember anything I said, and It’s probably for the best that I don’t, Y/n…” He sighed as he stopped, “It was only a suggestion, it crossed my mind about the estate because truthfully I think you would like it there, and it would be safe,” His hands tenderly grabbed your shoulders as your lips curled in anger but you said nothing, “And I think it would be good for you to put all of this out of your head for a few days. I’ll continue to handle things here and if things change with Wheein trust that I’ll be able to take care of it.”

Your expression didn’t change as Jungkook frowned, “I would also like to remind you that she’s been one of my closest friends since I was a child. You’re not the only one who cares for her.”

You begrudgingly looked away from him but your expression softened, a stab of guilt surging through your stomach at the realization that he was very much right, “I know, I’m sorry I just-”

“Don’t be,” Jungkook replied, “You have a mean bite but I can appreciate your loyalty. I can’t undo the past but I want to make things right. I…” Jungkook paused, looking hesitant his eyes darting away from you and then back to you once more.

You offered no words forcing him to sigh, as if it was difficult for him to admit, “I want to be with you Y/n, not as two people amicable due to marriage or friends on uneasy terms…” He bit down on his cheek, unable to hold your steely gaze as his hand hesitantly reached out, tenderly stroking along your jawline, “I want more than that with you, I want all of the fire and all of the rage, I want the pain, the hardships. I want you, all of you, every flaw that makes you, you.”

You hadn’t even realized your eyes had blurred until his thumbs were tenderly pushing your tears away, “Is this a declaration?”

“It’s a promise.” Jungkook’s eyes held such a softness in them filled with something you still felt uncertain to assume, “You told me that you wanted to bear the deepest parts of yourself to me, all of your insecurities, the parts you don’t like about yourself, the parts you may even hate, so I am standing here to tell you to show me, show me all of it, and I will still take you as you are.”

He was saying many overwhelming words to you, but you knew he was dancing around the most important word, you could see it in his eyes, how it lingered on the tip of his tongue.

But something was stopping him from truly confessing it.

Perhaps even after all of these months, it was still too soon.

Evidently so given your circumstances.

“I don’t want you away from me,” Jungkook admitted, a frown slowly forming on his lips, “But if that’s what it takes, I would wait a lifetime if it meant your forgiveness, if it meant a second chance to be with you.”

“Is that why you’re willing to send me away?” You sniffled, “Otherwise you’ll continue to drink and wake me up in the middle of the night?”

“It wasn’t my finest moment,” Jungkook gave a weak smile, “But you can’t deny it got my point across didn’t it?”

Just his smile made something in you crumble, a vast desire to embrace him here and to forgive him, surely you could put this all behind you…?

But a bigger part of you didn’t want to rush this, you didn’t want to be complacent anymore, that was how you got into this situation, how you immediately jumped to Claudin’s offer rather than confide in the person you were married to.

It was such a raw feeling, you could feel it licking at your very soul, trying to tame your desire to throw all caution to the wind once more.

And for a brief moment you could feel Jungkook have the same reaction as you, as if it took every fiber in his being to not beg you to stay, you don’t know if you could stand your ground against him again if he came on as strong as he had last night.

“Just for a few days.” You whispered out as he frowned, giving you an understanding nod.

“You’ll love it there.” His hands finally let go of you, somewhat reluctantly.

And then it was silent for a long moment, tension still lingering in the air and both of you clearly hesitant.

“Then…I’ll see you in a few days.” You mumbled and Jungkook nodded once more. It felt like the ground was trying to engulf your feet as you turned around, feeling oddly empty at your goodbye, waiting for something that wouldn’t come.

What was it you had hoped for? A hug…?

Maybe a kiss…?

But then again, it felt as though you were no longer deserving of those things, Jungkook may have done things to hurt you but you had also done things to hurt him, how could you both love one another if you couldn’t trust one another first?

You wished Jungkook had reached out for you, to at least give you some form of affection before leaving, but he also knew this was true, and let you leave with no grief.

It left you feeling empty inside, but this was for the best.

You journeyed over horseback for the day, trying to leave your fretting heart behind as you nervously glanced back at the far away sight of the castle, what if something developed with Wheein?

You felt as though you were betraying her just by leaving, more than anything you were desperate to get her back, perhaps that was why Jungkook was sending you away, as if he sensed your desperation would only heighten the longer this went on.

Dare you say, he feared the worst might happen if you stayed.

Your grip tightened on your reigns, once more trying to put it out of your mind, taking a deep breath you took in the heady scent of the pine tree’s the surrounded you, the Estate was much closer to the mountains then you had anticipated, by midday you had journeyed far enough that snow had already reached the ground.

“Are you nervous?” Yoongi had slowed his horse down to ride next to you, his eyes however still scoured ahead for possible danger.

“What do you mean?” You frowned as you glanced at his back, hearing a branch snap as your eyes darted towards the left of him.

Your faithful companion Fenrir having accidentally broke the branch he had been carrying in his mouth the past hour he had grown fond of, a whine leaving him in disappointment as he picked up the bigger side.

“Journeying away from the castle during these trying times…” Yoongi glanced back at you, a frown of his own, “It can’t be easy leaving with everything that’s happened.”

You didn’t reply for a long moment, Yoongi slowed down to ride beside you as he curiously took in your expression.

It was silent for a long moment before you finally relented, “It is difficult, but…After a long night, I figured this was probably best. It seems like my involvement in things only tends to make them worse. And truthfully there's no telling what lengths I’d go to at this point to get Wheein back.”

“Oh?” Yoongi looked curiosity once more, “I didn’t realize you had such a taste for danger.”

His joke made a smile finally tug on your lips, “Neither did I before coming to Penumbra. It seems this kingdom has a way of bringing out the primitive nature in me. But then again, it seems people have always looked down on me when I think of it.”

“On you?” Yoongi scoffed in amusement, “Dryad Matron of Eunoia? It’s difficult to believe, you’re like a pillar of light to the commonwealth of Penumbra, it used to drive the Prince nuts during your engagement.”

“It did…?” You peered somewhat hesitantly at him.

This made Yoongi grin, “Oh yes, when news of your engagement first broke out it had the people ecstatic, it had him gagging every second he heard good things of you.”

“This is hardly making me feel better…” You winced, though a small part of you was amused to hear this, though you wish you could say the same.

It always seemed to you that people in Penumbra didn’t fully grasp just how much people feared them on the outside world, instead poking fun at the titles they had earned as if it was a little joke.

The whole two years of your engagement are two years you’d rather die then live through again, the anxiety that kept you up at night, the endless amounts of tears you cried, the emptiness it left inside you how no one even tried to comfort you.

Looking back you understood, nobody wanted to feed you lies to comfort you, but at the time, you didn’t understand, it felt cruel.

“Not everyone feels that way about me, evidently from what I saw in the Underside.” You replied, somewhat reminiscing on the horrendous memory of the mock version of you.

“You shouldn’t pay that any mind,” Yoongi scoffed, “The humor is juvenile there, everything it stands for is juvenile, even it’s name; the Underside was a joke, a mockery meant for every royal that has to say it’s name with seriousness, point being- they don’t respect anyone who won’t give them money.”

You only shook your head, “It’s not just that though, there has always been a small part of people and court alike who haven’t liked me, even long before I was engaged to Jungkook. I was known for having a temper,” It made you smile wryly, “-The Bitch of Eunoia, that’s what they ran around calling me behind my back. It was horrendous in Kimhae.”

“Was it now?” Yoongi looked amused by this, “That in some ways does, and doesn’t surprise me.”

“The court ladies in Eunoia often liked to call me that as well. But it was very pronounced by Kimhae court men. When I was younger, I used to wear traditional Eunoian attire when i’d visit. Apparently shoulders and knee’s used to drive them crazy. I had one of the aristocrats boldly ask me if I was an exotic woman of the night, willing to pay for me.”

Yoongi’s jaw had dropped making you laugh as he gestured you on, “What did you say?”

“Something along the lines of calling him a perverted old man whom ought to have his loins cut off for making such a comment to a women- let alone a Princess.” The memory made you smile as you shook your head, “The Bitch of Eunoia…why is it men are allowed to be angry Yoongi? Why is it women are shamed so?”

Yoongi let out a hum, “This is indeed a good question, but perhap it’s because they know a woman's scorn could even bring heaven out of the sky. I’m not all too surprised about Kimhae- but you said Eunoians called you this as well?”

Your smile became saddened, “By many court ladies yes,” You scratched your cheek in thought, “I was always lonely as a child…the war took a toll on me, I was temperamental and childish. But the court ladies as children, also liked to mock me and egg me on. As we grew older they grew closer and I still stayed a distance away. They’d find any reason to pick me apart or give me more work to do. They were practically leaping for joy when the news broke that I was engaged.”

“Why do you think that was though?” Yoongi asked, “That they didn’t like you?”

You shrugged, you had never really thought about it much, rather you preferred to keep the past where it was rather then dwell on it, “I suppose it had a lot to do with the fact that while we were all training to be healers I excelled more at it, it came naturally to me and they ended up putting me in the tents before the others. They all assumed it was from favoritism…Maybe it was,” You pondered on this briefly, “I just remember thinking it wasn’t fair.”

“Fair?”

You didn’t elaborate on the word for a long moment, feeling something akin to guilt bubble in your stomach.

You glanced off into the distance where the mountains towered high, it made you feel so tiny in comparison to its greatness, and briefly you felt awe.

You always admired nature, how vast it was compared to you and all your humanly troubles, you turned to it and it’s kin when you needed comfort and in these moments you could turn to it when you were also troubled with words.

It was difficult to adequately explain to people the rage you had felt since you were a child, anger had always been in your bones, from the moment you were born. Your mother used to tell you, that when she gave birth, you had come out of her womb with a roaring cry.

You craved to be vulnerable, to be soft and tender, to be all the things you were not, and you were many things, just not those.

Many people people heard you, they just never listened, didn’t understand.

“I had a lot of resentment as a child, to everything, the war, my parents, our country. I didn’t want to be a healer, I didn’t want to have to watch people in my care die, I didn’t want to attend the burnings or hear the whales of agony and pain, the cries of mourning, the people who blamed me for not being able to save their loved ones.”

You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel haunted by those memories, watching the lifeforce leave someone's body as you tried to stop the bleeding, the maimed limbs and mangled bodies that were beyond your skill or help.

“I didn’t want to be made to go past our lesson times to keep studying, or made to go back in to practice when all the other girls were allowed to play. Or put in a tent over night while they all slept. It wasn’t fair.”You mumbled, perhaps still a lingering tone of resentment.

The past was the past, it couldn’t be changed, you had come to terms with this, but if you stopped and really thought about it, old feelings old eventually begin to resurface, it was why you tried so desperately to just forget about it.

At one time you blamed Penumbra, you hated it’s people for what they did, what they caused.

But then you married Jungkook and you journeyed here yourself, and saw with your own eyes, that these people, were simply people, who were also victims of their own royalty.

You felt the soft grip of a hand on your shoulder, “I am sorry, for what it’s worth,” Yoongi held a face of sympathy, “We all felt the same, or…I suppose a mutual feeling on the opposite side of things. Children being forced to enlist into a war we didn’t want to wage with little choice…”

You gently grabbed his hand giving it a small squeeze, a weak smile on your face, “It wasn’t fair for any of us. We’re all a bi-product of our parents' sins. It’s up to us now to break that cycle.”

You had arrived to the estate by nightfall and it was shrouded in tall pine and fir trees, the aroma had you closing your eyes for a moment to savor it, just as Jungkook said, it truly was beautiful.

Snow covered the ground in a few inches, and a chill was left in your bones, but you settled in rather nicely, Yoongi had managed to get a fire going rather quickly and it was quiet in the solitude of the estate.

For once, it was nice to be able to breathe without being watched.

The first two days had went by surprisingly quick, but you had found a natural rhythm in nature, you went on long peaceful walks, kept yourself wrapped in a blanket while sitting on the terrace taking in the crisp cool air.

You had even spent the evening watching the snowfall outside, enchanted at how it came in big fluttering puffy balls, you had heard of snow before, but you had never actually seen it fall from the sky, like a thousand little gifts from the heavens.

It was dull and gray out today, the same as it had been for the last week now, at the estate was unsurprisingly no different.

Today however you had Yoongi set up some haybales in the pit area where guards would typically be trained, it was run down now, old boxes used as storage had been broken down and were hazardously strewn everywhere, long nine inch rusty nails sticking out of wooden pieces at razor sharp jagged angles.

But with Yoongi’s help you both had piled it up safely away and got a decent bit of space ready for training.

“Too stiff-”

“Ah!”

It was a second too late, you had already released the string, sending the arrow flying, it had veered off target as the string slapped your forearm with a sharp snap causing you to drop it.

Fenrir suddenly popped up from the ground where he had been laid out the last half hour, head cocked in concern at the noise that escaped you.

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Yoongi groaned, “You can’t hold it with a stiff arm! Look at this!” He got up from his spot as he held up your arm by the wrist, “It looks like somebody gave you a lashing! Jungkook will have my head if it isn’t heal by tomorrow.”

Your lips twisted into a sulky pout, “I am trying!”

“Not hard enough that’s the fifth time within the hour,” Yoongi whistled out as he let you go, Fenrir walking up to you as he sniffed your hand, giving it a lick before nudging it.

You rubbed your forearm, that was undeniably sore and throbbing with pain before placing your hand on Fenrir’s head to give it a nice long rub.

He had grown remarkably big in the last month, almost as big as you now, just a five or six inches shorter, it made you give a sad frown, at how big he was and soon he’d become a monstrous size…

You’d simply have to build a bigger stable you supposed.

“Aim comes naturally but holding a weapon does not,” You sighed as you placed both your hands on Fenrir’s head, now giving him generous rubs and pats that had him giving a toothy puppy grin that made you smile, “I’ve practiced here and there with a bow but with everything going on, I just haven’t made it a priority.”

Yoongi sighed, “Natural ability will only get you so far, discipline if a far greater advantage Princess, thankfully we can start working on this daily, I think it’d be good for you to have a hobby.”

“I have hobbies.” You frowned as crossed your arms.

“Such as…?” Yoongi gestured.

“Well…” You could think of several as a matter of fact, but you had given them all up once you had moved to Penumbra, the thought made you frown in realization, you had been so caught up in all the highs and lows of your new life that it was true.

You had hobbies, you just never participated in any of them.

“I suppose it would do me some good to work on it,” You sighed as you relented, “I still feel a tad guilty though, shouldn’t I be honing my skill in swordsmanship? Jungkook once told me that it’s expected the Crowned Prince and Princess are supposed to be the best at it.”

“Well…” Yoongi stretched the word, “This is true but, I don’t think somebody is going to fault you for not being the best at it. I’d like to think it’s an expectation from those born in Penumbra, not those who marry in. Not only this but if you are inclined to another form of weaponry, then it’s as simple as that.

“As long as you have some form of sword training then it’ll do,” Yoongi shrugged, “What matters is personal protection, some training is better then none, but having a form of training you’re good at is even better.”

“You Penumbrian’s certainly like taking precautions.” You sighed wistfully as you picked up your bow once more.

“The more the better,” Yoongi said, “Guards are great, but what happens when you’re caught without any? Learning to defend yourself is vital.”

You glanced down at your bow, “I understand but…”

“But?” Yoongi asked.

“Well, I suppose a part of me just feels odd,” You replied, “I grew up being taught to save lives, not take them,” You rubbed your neck in uncertainty, “When I took the Dryad’s oath, it was a promise to myself and my ancestors that I would abstain from our carnal nature. That I would never take a life nor would I consume its flesh. Animal or human. Even though the chances of me having to defend myself in such a way are so low, it’s odd to train for it, after taking that oath and living by it my whole life.”

Yoongi let out a small smile, “Then don’t view it as such.”

“What do you mean?” You tilted your head.

“Sword play is considered an art form in Penumbra, you can view a bow in the same light. It’s quite a beautiful thing really, it’s not just aiming and shooting, it’s how you hold it, the type of arrow you use, the weight of your feet. A lot goes into it.”

You thought on this for a while before nodding, “I suppose you are right.”

“Min Yoongi! I’m looking for a Min Yoongi?”

A voice called out that had you both glancing around the courtyard before seeing the courier at the gates glancing around before meeting his gaze.

“Yes?” Yoongi called out, walking up to meet him.

“I have a letter for you sire! It was urgent from the court” The courier dug through his bag before handing it to him, giving a short bow to you and then departing.

You glanced at it anxiously as you exchanged a look with Yoongi, was this about Wheein?

Yoongi opened the letter, reading it before he sighed,

“What, what is it?” You asked, anxiety in your voice.

“It’s not about Wheein,” You let out a breath in relief as Yoongi continued, “But it is a request for help.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

Yoongi sighed, “There’s a watchtower just east of here, about an hour away give or take on horseback, apparently they’ve been dealing with a gang of bandits up there. Supposedly they’re going to siege the tower.”

“They can do that?” You asked in surprise.

Yoongi shrugged, “I suppose so, I don’t know what they think I can do about it.”

“Well you said you were an assassin before you became a knight? So surely that counts for something.” You said, setting down your bow on a lonely bale of hay.

Yoongi sighed as he folded the letter back up, “Even so, I won’t just leave you here by yourself.”

You frowned, “It’s only us here, and it’s secluded so I won’t be in any real danger, and you said it was only an hour away. I doubt you’d take long in taking them down.”

“Are you just trying to get rid of me?” Yoongi asked in mild amusement.

“I would never!” You said, “But I’d hate to see something unfortunate happen that could be prevented, you’re far closer then someone is to the castle. It would make the most sense for you to go.”

Yoongi sighed, “Even if I’m over cautious, it doesn’t sit right leaving you here all by yourself.”

“I wouldn’t be alone!” You replied, grinning as you gave Fenrir a solid pat, “Fenrir will defend me! Jungkook and I have been working on commands. Sit!”

Fenrir immediately complied.

“Very fierce.” Yoongi said dryly.

You held up a finger, grabbing a piece of wooden box that was free of any nails off the ground, “Fenrir,” He perked up at his name, “Attack!” You threw it causing his gaze to follow it with a loud snarling howl, his jaws crunching the board in half immediately grabbing the smaller end.

Running back to you before dropping down on his front paws, tail wagging as he tried to get you to chase him.

Yoongi looked a bit more startled at the thick board of wood that had been crushed as he nodded, “Okay, a little more fierce than before…” Yoongi thought about it for a long moment, “I suppose if I left now I would make it back by supper….Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

You gave him a small smile, “It’s only a few hours, I think I’ll be able to manage.”

Yoongi still seemed hesitant but he nodded, “I’ll go gather a few things then and be off. The sooner I leave the sooner I’ll be back.”

“It’s one night,” You smiled, “And then we’ll be back at the castle tomorrow.”

You had waved Yoongi off before you continued on with your day.

Spending another few hours training with your bow you had eventually given up once the string of your bow hit a particularly sensitive spot on your forearm.

The rest of your day had been spent taking walks along the trail’s with Fenrir before eventually settling inside, roaming the halls and exploring empty rooms.

And eventually the afternoon came.

But slowly the sun began to set and a vague feeling of dread followed along with it.

Yoongi…would’ve been back by now, right?

Or perhaps it took him longer to clear out the bandits.

You nodded at this as you stayed curled up in your large chair, Fenrir curled up beneath your feet as he let out a sigh, as if sensing your discomfort and unsatisfied with it.

Continuing to read, time went on and soon the sun had set.

You had managed to get a fire going on your own and had lit the candles in the hall, making the estate feel less consuming then it had before but it didn’t quell your anxiousness as the hour went on later.

Yoongi would certainly be back by now…

You were certain you’d manage the commute back to the castle if you had too but…You wouldn’t feel right just leaving without him, but you also had no way of sending a message to the castle for help without going back yourself.

You felt at a loss for what to do, as you roamed the main hall, pausing at the sound of the gate opening. Opening the doorway you hurried out to the courtyard.

“Yoongi, I’ve been waiting all day, you worried me sick!” You stopped short at the sight ahead of you.

“Not who you were expecting?”

Di Jin’s smug smile was the last thing you saw before the sudden blow to your head caused your vision to go dark.

“You look lost.” Jimin commented as he plopped in a seat right next to his dearest friend, both sat out for breakfast on the terrace.

“Was it a good idea sending her to the Estate?” Jungkook stared down in hard contemplation, his food untouched, “If something happens I won’t be able too…!”

He inhaled sharply as he forced himself to lean back in his chair, but despite the motion his body refused to relax.

You had left two days ago and he felt a void ever since.

Jungkook didn’t realize how much your presence had filled every inch of the castle until you had left, and now, he felt utterly useless, it was one thing for you to be mad at him, it was another for you to be gone.

Jimin looked amused but felt bad for him nonetheless, “Nothing is going to happen to her, the estate is nice and tucked away, the entire court has forgotten about it anyways, it hasn’t been used in years. You did a good thing.”

“Did I?” Jungkook finally slumped.

He had been constantly replaying his last memory of you, the conversation you both had before you left, the memory of you looking up at him for a long moment as if silently yearning for some form of affection.

It left Jungkook’s hands twitching and an unfamiliar ache in his chest, he couldn’t even describe how it felt. And he was honest when he spoke with you the night before, true he didn’t remember much, but what he did remember was straight from his heart, he thought he knew many things.

But after meeting you he found out quickly that he knew nothing at all.

Tomorrow, surely you’d be back tomorrow. You hadn’t given him an exact timeframe, but surely when you said a few days, you had meant no more then three?

“What if I-”

“No.” Jimin cut him off, “The whole point of her going was to get out of the castle and by default away from you. Not only that but what if something happened to Wheein while you were gone?”

Jungkook sunk back in his chair, that was right…He had promised you he would take care of anything that might possibly happen.

He wouldn’t let you down.

“Have you found any evidence yet?” Jungkook lowered his voice, his gaze lingering on the far side of the table where Claudin had been dining with a group of court ladies.

Jimin frowned, “Yes but the problem is getting it open,” He huffed, “I was able to slip into his room last night, it was empty but he has a lock box beneath a hollowed broken floorboard piece, seems he was in a hurry when he left, otherwise it wouldn’t have been left afar.

“Regardless I haven’t been able to crack the lock. Whatever is in there, it has a master’s lock on it. I’ll need at least another dozen picks before I even come close to cracking it.”

Jungkook sighed as he shook his head in disdain, “Of course when we need Yoongi he’s gone.”

Their elder would be able to open it within the hour if he was here.

Jimin frowned as well, “I’ll try again this afternoon.”

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed, “That’s early for you.”

“We’re running out of time Jungkook,” Jimin sighed, sinking back into his chair as well, eyeing Claudin with a certain wryness, “I keep hearing stirrings from the guards about how they’ve narrowed their search, but they’re hellbent on saying it was Wheein.”

“Sire,”

They both paused at the sight of Taehyun, a frown on his face as he glanced between them both, an anxious look as he bowed slightly, “It’s the council…they’ve summoned you. It doesn’t sound good, you should come as well Jimin.”

Jungkook glanced at his friend but said nothing as he stood up, not liking this one bit.

The walk to the throne room was swift and Jungkook wasted no time in arriving, the other council members had just arrived as well.

Clearly he wasn’t the only one uncertain of what was going on, other members had started hushing whispers to one another, all glancing in Jungkook’s direction occasionally as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed as he glanced at the empty throne the seats on its left occupied by his aunt and uncle whispering to one another.

They both glanced at him once before quickly looking away.

The tension felt suffocating and the longer it lasted the more anxious Jungkook felt, seconds turned into minutes and the whispers began to get louder.

And all within a moment, the doors open and a sweepingly silence took over the room save for the sound of boots against the ground. Dae Seong walked with confience in every step before standing before everyone on the throne.

“It is with confidence I have come to announce something of the utmost importance,” His voice boomed, “The attempted assassination on our Crowned Princess, was indeed committed by her maid Jung Wheein, we have reason enough to believe it was her as all the evidence points as such. Her form of punishment will be burning at the stake, tonight at the height of the moon. I ask you all join me on this divine distribution of punishment,”

Groaning softly your vision was blurry at first, and the first person to appear in your vision was not who you expected.

“Not so quick witted now are you Eunoian Bitch,” Seohyun sneered, her smirking figure beneath you as your vision of her doubled.

Your mind was confused as you only remembered Di Jin being here, your eyes closed briefly only for a sharp pain to spread through your side that you recognized as being kicked in the side by her.

Groaning your eyes opened and her eyes beaded, sneering at you as another voice spoke, “Come along now Seohyun, why don’t you go see if that insufferable knight has managed to come back yet, I will finish our business here.”

She eyed you warily but said no more as she left and soon Di Jin stood in front of you, “You have truly been a pain in my ass since I was enlisted to kill you, I only hope you realize that.”

There was no remorse in his eyes as he pulled the wickedly curved knife from it’s sheath and a sadistic smile curled on his face, “Don’t worry Princess, i’ll make sure you have a slow miserable death.”

Despite your sluggish movements, adrenaline had shot in your veins as you realized you were about to die, you had too much to live for still. You needed to see what would come of Eunoia, you needed to make sure Wheein was okay, that you would keep your promise to Jungkook.

You couldn’t die, and you would fight if it meant living to see it.

Your mind was slowly coming out of it’s haze as Di Jin stepped closer to you, realizing you were in the courtyard near the hay bales, the pile you had cleaned early next to you, your arm reached over to grab one of the planks, three long rusted nails sticking out of it.

You swung it with as much force as you could towards his legs, it made contact, the nail piercing his skin with a wet noise as he cried out in pain, falling back on the ground as he growled out. “You dumb bitch, a pain until the end!”

You attempted to crawl away, heart pounding in your ears as you scurried but he was still too mobile, yanking the plank out of his leg with a growl of pain as he managed to get on top of you, you caught his wrists as he attempted to plunge the knife in your throat, “I’ll enjoy watching the life leave your eyes. I’ll be sure to bring your head back for your little husband to see one last time.”

Your strength was already failing as you winced out, the knife slowly coming closer to your skin as you whimpered out as it pierced the first layer of your flesh.

It was an indescrible pain that had you yelping in pain,

“I’ll make these last few moments the most excruciating and perhaps if you beg me enough, I might just end your pathetic little life girl,” Di Jin grinned leaning in closer, “Maybe if you beg me more i’ll give you a little more than just a long death.”

He pushed the knife a little deeper as blood spilled from your skin making you cry out, his body weighing heavier on yours and his lips suddenly pressing to your ear, “Something tells me you’d prefer that over this.”

Something about his lips pressing against your skin lit something primal inside of you, every sense heightened inside you as your lips parted taking a wide bite into his neck, you could taste it first, the metallic flavor of blood running across your tongue and dripping down your throat and then his skin was next, uncomfortably soft and tender and next was the cartilage, it was rubbery and had hard bits in it, next was the sensation of something warm and wet against your face.

Di Jin could no longer properly speak, his grip suddenly loosened on the knife as you yanked the large chunk of flesh straight from his neck, grabbing the knife as you yanked it away shoving him down as you managed to get on top of him.

The chunk missing from his neck was ghastly, blood pooling on the ground, oozing everywhere and squirting from various places and he was gagging loudly, choking on his own blood.

Anger trembled in your body, it wasn’t enough, even with chunks of flesh missing and blood covering your face, skin hanging and cartilage visible it still wasn’t enough, before you could even think you plunged the knife into his neck, eyes blurring as you watched him gurgle, choking on his own blood as the life left his eyes.

Your hands were shaking as you waited for him to jump back to life to kill you, and then you slowly realized your vision was blurred from tears, your heart pounding as you took a shaky breath yanking the knife out of his neck before you let out blood curdling scream slamming it back in his neck again.

Jungkook’s betrayal.

Wheein being taken.

Exiled from your own kingdom.

Being forced to wed.

Made into a healer as a child.

Bone.

Blood.

Ash.

The mourning bells rang in your head and you could vividly taste the metallic on your tongue stronger than ever as the taste of raw flesh lingered in your throat.

Blood splattered upward as you stabbed the spot over again, all of the rage searing in your veins as Di Jin’s form became disfigured, his neck nearly separating his head from his body as you shoved the knife in deeper.

Hearing the wet gurgling noise as you heaved a breath, staring at his cold dead eyes staring back at you, the next scream was not your own, but it came closer within seconds before the door to the estate opened.

Seohyun was heavily bleeding from her left thigh, sporting a large bite as a loud snarl came from inside the door, shakily you stood up, “Fenrir, wait.”

The large wolf paused, and that's when you noticed the large gash on his leg, causing him to limp, rage quelled in your veins again as you limped over, Seohyun looked pale a ghost at the sight of you.

From the moment this woman met you, she had given you nothing but grief, attempted to humiliate you, belittle you, try to win a lost battle, attempt to kill you, and now she had hurt your precious companion.

Even with a mangled body behind you, it still wasn’t enough.

Tripping over her own two feet she fell down as you walked over, “We can talk about this Y/n!” Her eyes were as big as saucers, “Please! I’ll leave Penumbra and- and never come back.”

You felt nothing for her as you stood above her, watching pathetic tears drip down her face for a long moment, finally you knelt down, “If Penumbra has taught me anything Seohyun, It’s that some people do not deserve my forgiveness, nor my kindness.”

Her lips parted rapidly, her throat scratchy, and for the first time, you saw genuine fear in her eyes, “B-but you’re a Eunoian,”

Her words were pointed, bargaining, pleading even- if you listened close enough, “Eunoian’s don’t kill.”

Your lips slowly lifted into a joyless smile as you let out an uneasy laugh, “Well,” Your smile dropped, your hands were still shaky, unbridled rage still taunt in your veins.

The primal urge of need to prove her wrong, prove all of them wrong, that you would never again be looked down upon as weak or underestimated.

Your hand grabbed her neck, causing her to let out a choked sob as you squeezed it tight enough to choke her airway, yanking her nearly nose to nose with you.

“We’re not in Eunoia, are we?” Your nails dug into her neck, not stopping until you felt the blood from her skin oozing, you shoved her back before you stood up, ignoring her blubbering, tears trickling down her face as you walked away, “Fenrir.”

“Please!”

He let out a growl, “Attack.”

Her cries of agony were left of deaf ears as you walked back over to the corpse of Di Jin grabbing the knife from his neck and yanking it out before taking the sheath that went with it, adjusting it on your waist.

Collapsing on the ground away from him you noticed your hands for the first time, shaking, trembling as your vision blurred once more, scarred and covered in blood, just what had you done?

Fenrir’s mouth was covered in blood, but the whine didn’t escape your ears as he tenderly tried to sit down in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” You ushered, grief strong in your voice though uncertain of who it was for, yourself, your country, your companion, you reached out for him, gently rubbing your hand down his neck, “But we have a long journey ahead of us Fenrir.”

The bells were ringing and a somber air had taken over, Jungkook had nearly lost his entire wits, his father had banished him from the room, not wanting to hear another word from him about this.

Being told he was too sentimental fell on deaf ears, he didn’t care, it was his friend, it was injustice, it was corrupt. He hated it, he hated that despite being the crowned prince, his son, his father simply didn’t care.

All Jungkook could do was wait for Jimin to unlock this damn box. But it felt as though it was too late, he was banned from so much as leaving his room, guards at his door there to keep him boxed in but this wouldn’t stop him.

pulling the cloak over his head, he opened the window, the bricks were jagged and uneven enough that he could easily climb down, he did it often when he was younger, much to the blindness of his father.

Scaling the wall, Jungkook got down, feet planted firmly on the ground as he kept the hood over his head tight as he made his way to the courtyard. A crowd had gathered, all wanting to witness the supposed assassin.

Nobody paid mind to him with his identity concealed, it would be soon now. If he couldn’t get evidence to get Wheein out, then Jungkook would take matters into his own hand. He didn’t want to have Wheein leave Penumbra, but if this is what it took to keep her safe until her innocence was proven, this is what he would do.

He owed so much of his existence to her, he couldn’t let this happen.

He wasn’t going to let this happen.

The bells stopped as Dae Seong stood up from his throne on the wooden stage they had set up, “We have all gathered here to see the execution of the assassin who tried to kill our crowned princess! Her very own handmaid, this is the killer, our own flesh and blood, and the punishment for a traitorous woman is fitting, burning of the steak!”

Wheein was brought out, her hands tied behind her back, her eyes had dark circles and she was crying as she shook her head, “Please! I would never do that to Penumbra! To Y/n! Please you have to believe me!”

But her cries were in vein as the crowd boo’d her, all shouting vile words her way as they dragged her down to the large wooden steak pyre that had been set up.

Jungkook shifted in his spot as he watched them begin to tie her up.

“Are there any last words you would like to impart to us traitor?” Dae Seong looked at her with pure disgust.

Wheein’s lips quivered as she parted them.

A loud bloodcurdling scream interrupted her before she could speak, the crowd tensed and everyone seemed alert, Jungkook was towards the front, having intended on getting her off there the right moment, but he quickly turned around to see people quickly departing and creating a path.

And the next thing he saw was hardly comprehensible.

You, covered in blood, your face was a horrific sight with it’s dried crimson color covering your mouth all the way down your neck, but what was even more horrifying was what was next to you, Fenrir limping beside you, a corpse held in his mouth.

Women screamed and men gasped in horror as they all moved.

The looks on the royals faces were indescribable, Dae Seong most of all, “What is the meaning of this?”

You stopped in front of the throne, Fenrir as if knowing this was the destination, dropped the body from his jaws, it smacked the ground with a wet echo, the head finally detaching from the body as it rolled towards Dae Seong.

You don’t think you had ever seen an expression quite like what Dae Seong had, and you were sure this would be the only time.

It was silent for a long moment before you finally spoke, your throat raw and scratchy, “That’s your assassin, he tried to kill me again just hours ago.”

Dae Seong’s look of shock slowly twisted into one of rage, “Where is your proof of this!” He stood up from his throne towering over you with a growl, “What does a girl like you have meddling in business you don’t understand and taking the lives of those who were helping!”

“Am I standing in front of you not proof enough?” You snarled back, “From the moment I have come to this kingdom I have been nothing but disrespected, disregarded, used, and seen as nothing more than a tool to further someone’s agenda. And i’m sick of it.”

“Even when it comes to my own life, you stand in front of me questioning it!”

“Why I ought too!-”

“I have it!” A voice cried out, Jimin was running from the side entrance of the courtyard, a notebook in his hand as he panted, his eyes widening when they set on you, ‘Y/n!? Are you okay? I have it, I have proof that Di Jin was the assassin! Here, your majesty.”

Dae Seong snatched it with a certain level of venom as he looked through the book, but slowly as his eyes read through, an unreadable look took over his face.

Exhaustion began to take over, your body beginning to sway.

Dae Seong closed the book with a sense of finality, “Very well,” He aid with gritted teeth, anger still simmering in his eyes, “Perhaps, you do have the grit to survive here princess.”

You didn’t hear his words though, your gaze had went down to the body of Di Jin, and swaying backwards you collapsed into an abyss of darkness, nothing more then multiple people calling your name.

[muniimyg]

1.5: ah, shit 》 series m.list

note: look at me go with the updates :o

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//

“Stop laughing. This isn’t funny!” 

Jungkook makes a face at you, unable to hold his laughter in. “This is too good. Golden even. I can’t believe my luck today—”

“You know what? Forget about it. My bad,” you mumble, beginning to feel embarrassed.

Jungkook had just entered your bedroom and found you opening a box of condoms. He isn’t too sure why the sight of you doing so was so hilarious, he just knows it is. 

“W-what? No!” Jungkook begins to plead, taking the box of condoms from your hands and putting them aside. “___, of course, I wanna fuck. What kind of fucking idiot do you think I am? And XL? You must’ve thought about me a lot, huh?”

“Fuck you.”

“Sure," he takes this moment in, “is now a good time?”

You cross your arms at him, giving him an annoyed look. “Why are you laughing then?” 

“Because… I didn’t think this would happen again.” Jungkook confesses, a little afraid of your reaction. When to comes to other peoples feelings, you’re not the soft type. Yet, when it comes to your own; you are almost always overly sensitive. He’s learned this about you simply over time. It’s endearing to him and annoying to others.

You shrug at him, taking an article of your clothing off. Tossing it at him, you gesture for him to do the same. He then pulls his sweater over his head and drops it on the ground along with your shirt. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you as you begin to strip more and more. His eyes follow each curve that gets exposed and he can’t help but wonder why his throat is suddenly dry. It’s weird because he swears he’s probably drooling right now. 

When you’re down to just your panties and bra, you take a step towards him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he gulps as you inch closer to him. You’d be an idiot not to notice his sudden change of stance. 

It’s obvious.

Jungkook has folded. 

“Do you have feelings for me, Jungkook?”

You ask him this calmly.

Your words and the tone you used to ask don’t seem to match. The words itself carry so much possibility of change and chance… Yet, the way you said it was so distant and meaningless. It’s like it wasn’t a big deal. It’s like… It didn’t even matter if he said yes. 

He takes a moment too long to answer. 

“Spit it out, you little shit.”

“N-no,” he attempts to sound convincing. You had already made him a fool once this evening… He wasn’t going to let you have the victory of being a joke to you again. “It’s you. You like me.”

Tilting your head, you pout at him. “Don’t make assumptions. Your ego won’t be able to handle rejection.”

“I’m not assuming and you’re not exactly rejecting me,” he grumbles, feeling defensive. “Just admit it. You’ve wanted me the second we met.”

You wiggle your finger at him. “Stop projecting, pookie bear.”

Jungkook makes a sour face. “Ohh… Yeah, it does sound bad.”

“See?” you laugh, hitting his chest lightly. 

“How about… I stop calling you pookie bear—”

You gasp, “okay! Loving this…”

“When you stop denying—”

In a panic, you interrupt him; “hating it…”

“Come on,” he groans. “You have to admit it. You like me at least a little bit… That’s why you and I fucked a month ago. It was all the built-up tension.” He says it like he knows it in his heart. Like there’s no other answer than what he just stated. For a moment, you believe him. 

Instead, you remember that night and you recall what had led up to it. You had just gotten dumped for the nth time by your shithead of a boyfriend. Jungkook saw you walking home and cheered you up to your apartment. From there, it just happened.

It was so easy.

It felt so effortless and like it was meant to happen. That understanding… Felt weird. You did your best to forget about it and how it made you feel but it takes two to tango and your partner in crime felt differently. Ever since that day, he has not shut the fuck up.

That day, Jungkook found himself in between your legs and you found yourself self-loathing the next morning. It wasn’t in your intentions to use Jungkook the way you did.. But he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Which brings you to this conclusion:

“What are you trying to get out of me, Jungkook? A confession?”

He shrugs, feeling indifferent. “I’m not demanding anything from you.”

You shake your head at him. “What the fuck? Jungkook, you can’t be my rebound.”

“Why not?” he whines childishly.

“It’s mean.”

Jungkook takes a moment to contemplate. Ultimately, he snaps out of it and brushes his thoughts off as if he didn’t even try to think things through. “It’s okay. I have a crush on you so I’m going into this completely delusional and shit.”

Rolling your eyes at him, you pinch his cheeks. “Can you stop goofing around? Be real. I might be more interested in you if you do.”

He glares at you. 

“Fine,” Jungkook gives in. “I’m just fucking with you. To be honest, I’m just trying to be here for you. As a friend and all… If fucking around is what you need, then so be it. Whatever you want from me, you can have. You just have to ask.”

You purse your lips at him, not buying a single word he offers you. Regardless, you inch closer. Bantering with him is actual agony… But, you can’t resist him. It’s a weird pull he has on you and you rather die than to admit it to him.

Instead, you let your actions speak for you. It’s the most you’ll do in terms of confessing or even processing how you feel about him. All you know and all you want to know is how he feels against, inside, and on top of your body. You your lips on his neck, near his collarbone. At first, you kiss it lightly. Then, as you pull away, you suck on it a bit. Repeating this motion, you work on giving him a hickey. 

“I…”

“You?”

“I wanna fuck.”

Your room looks the same as it did a month ago. He feels so lucky to be here again.. But holy shit; you're a piece of work.

Is he a joke to you? Is that it? Because Jungkook has been in complete distress for a good five minutes now and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Fucking hold still,” Jungkook grunts, as he pins you down. His hands cover your wrist and all you can do is giggle. He does his best to compose himself. If he lets his emotions get in the way, you'll laugh even more.

“I can’t—it’s poking me!” 

He rolls his eyes at you. “It's my dick, ___. Of course, it's gonna feel like that."

"It feels weird,” you giggle. “Why is it so big?”

"Don't call my dick weird.”

You squint at him. “I also called it big.”

“Well, it’s gonna stop being big if you don’t stop fucking laughing at it.”

You tighten your lips. “Sorry, sorry.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath and tries again.

He guides himself between your folds and glances at you to see if you’re behaving any better. Holding in your laughter, you shut your eyes and try to concentrate on how it feels. 

How velvety the skin of his thick, veiny, and hard cock is. How wet the head is. How big it is as he pushes himself inside you. 

You open your eyes and boom. 

There he is.

So handsome and on top of you. His silver neckless dangles in the space between you and him. Your eyes flutter at the way it moves according to his thrusts. It feels like you could go dizzy.

Then, you blink and see him suddenly close his eyes and lean in towards you. Out of an odd relfex, you squirm and let out a loud burst of laughter. 

“What the fuck?” Jungkook cries, completely frustrated with you. “___, are you serious?”

In between laughs, you tell him; “I was trying! But you were leaning in to kiss me and the way you shut your eyes looked so stupid—you look so s-stupid—w-what the fuck?”

Jungkook grips your wrists and puts them above your head. He towers over you even more and the expression on his face is hard to read. He looks angry but not in a scary way. He looks desperate and needy but not in the loser way… He looks insanely hot right now. You feel yourself clench, getting tighter around him. 

“You love fucking with me, don’t you?” he hisses. “Do you want me to fuck you or not?”

You nod in response. 

“Then fucking behave.”

You nod again. 

He shakes his head, dissatisfied with your response. He lets go of your wrists and cups your cheeks together with his one hand. With your lips smushed together, he asks you; “answer me properly.”

“Y-yes,” you murmur, “I’ll behave.”

Cockily, he raises his brow at you. “Good. Now open your mouth.”

You do as he says. He loosens his hold on you, letting you open your mouth on your own. When you do so, you watch him accumulate spit. Quickly, he spits inside your mouth.

You spit it back out at him.

“Sike.”

His own saliva hits his face. Jungkook briefly turns away, biting his inner cheek in annoyance.

“You wanna play fucking games? Fine. Let’s fucking play games.” Jungkook practically growls.

You gulp, trying your best to keep a straight face. It wasn’t funny anymore. Instead, everything was beginning to feel hot and heavy. His cock stays inside you and you can feel him throbbing. You want him to move now. 

Maybe you made the wrong move. 

But it’s too late. 

Jungkook’s mind has been made up and his pride can’t take any more shit you’ve given him all night. Sometimes, you forget how much of a man he is. You’ve only pushed boundaries as friends as a joke… And you barely remember what it was like sleeping with him a month ago… Was he always like this?

You feel sick to your stomach when you realize; you like it. 

The rest of the night continues with Jungkook’s nasty mouth all over your body. It’s like every crevasse was for him to discover and claim as his. He took his time, pumping himself inside you. He took his time even more when he kissed you. 

It was so slow and wet, but with every thrust and kiss—oh, were you fucked out of your mind. 

His hands were all over you. It wasn’t exactly mind-blowing sex but it wasn’t too far from it either. Everything he did just felt so right and that surprised you. Contrary to popular belief; Jungkook was no fuckboy. He simply knew how to fuck.

God bless that fact.

He has always been that silly goofy friend in your circle of people. He has always been kind and a little flirty… But he was also really self-aware and brought a lot of meaning into every friendship. Perhaps, that’s why you ended up turning the other cheek and dating guys opposite of him. 

If you were to be with Jungkook, it would be too real. 

It would be too good and that’s what scared you… 

Ah, shit.

How could you ever get over something this good?

[sunnyseungup]

Hyunjin fic recs 2

stray kids | Hwang Hyunjin

masterlist | part 1

[ updated 240726 ]

5:15 am { f } @dreamyyeosang

cliche meetcutes { f } 0,9k @chvrrycola

04 sharing haring a bed series { f2l, s } @skzdarlings

Ice { mafia au, strangers2l; a, s, f } 4,5k @healinghyunjin

Sheer good looks aside though…you’d seen his face on the news. What was his name? You remembered that it was something elegant, soft on the lips - a name that didn’t seem to fit the cruel, hardened mafioso it belonged to. 

It was only when those cold icy eyes locked with yours, gaze chilling even from all the way across the bar, that it finally came to mind. 

Hwang Hyunjin. 

kinktober day five { f2l; s } 2,5k @gimmeurtmi

uni student hyunjin but make it art

9:02 A.M { f } @forlix

Read between the lines { f } 0,5k @inkelea

Making out in a car { s } @astraystayyh

are you bored yet? { insecure y/n; a, f } @ebbaskz

“but i can’t help from asking ‘are you bored yet?’ ”

I’ll make those insecurities disappear { a, f, s } @lotus-dly

Taste { s } @moonjxsung

Sunday’s Paradigm { f2l, college; f } 2,6k @sunboki

He was a cold person. Spiteful and brash to all people too close, scared to let his walls down. Except, to him, you’re a spectacle. A classmate he realizes he can’t exactly find reason to dislike while he sketched you from his stool in the art room.

The deal. @hyunedew

the one where you accidentally summon the king of hell in your pursuit to pass your class.

Pendulum { f, a, s } 1,2k @1-800-shedevil

You visit Hyunjin on the night of his big art exhibit intent on closing this chapter of your life but he's not willing to let go that easily.

Say yes to me { f } @astraystayyh

after your seven minutes in heaven, hyunjin wants to plan out how he'll finally confess to you. except you come knocking on the door of his rented cabin unannounced. at 10:53 pm. the perfect time for love, he comes to learn.

Bound to You { Cerberus, Goddess, Greek Mythology; f, s } 4,3k @winter-dayz

“What are we?” { f } @jinhyun

Drunken with a sense of love { drunken confessions, fake dating } 7,1k @hanibalistic

you and hyunjin got drunk at different times, and you two took care of each other similarly. 

Thinking about how attentive hyunjin would be when you’re sick { f } @seungminhour

Christmas Eve with Hwang Hyunjin { f } @agi-ppangx

Eight days of Christmas carols - day 4 { f } @rachalixie

Pussy agenda with Hyunjin { s } @fluffylino

Sigma kappa zeta’s olympic level beer pong team { + Innie x reader; s } 7,2k @/skzms

it's the last frat party before winter break and you, hyunjin and jeongin have a title to defend. who knows where it might lead (we do, it leads to the three of you smoking weed and fucking in jeongin's room)

9mitm { s } @straykeedz

Babysitter.com { single dad Hyune; s, f } @mnwrld

hyunjin's whole life changed when his daughter was born--it was the single best day of his life. but parenting was harder than he thought it would be, especially when he also needed to work to be able to provide for the light of his life. maybe a little help wouldn't hurt? where else could he look but the notorious 'babysitter.com' ?

my love, mine all mine [ f ] 2,3k @/rachalixie

hyunjin setting up the perfect valentine's day for you

verisimilitude [bsf2l; s ] @/skzdarlings

You are a self-identified no-nonsense curmudgeon. Your best friend is an eccentric pretty boy. You accidentally send him an explicit video of yourself. What's the worst that can happen?

The snow falls, we fall apart. [ roommates, f2l; hurt/comfort ] 13k @/astraystayyh

when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

Something I Needed More [ f2l; f ] 3,2k @skzonthebrain

wherever you are [ f2l; f, a, s ] 12,9k @hyunverse

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

ace [ volleyball player hyune, fake e2l; f ] 15,2k @/forlix

volleyball superstar and your personal hell hwang hyunjin proposes a trade-off you can't refuse: his matchmaking services for a passing anthropology grade. the plan is foolproof in theory; in practice, it is something else entirely.

the storm. [ s ] 2,7k @/tasteracha

Series

devil by the window { DemonxAngel; s } 3k @berryjoong

you’re an angel, hyunjin’s a demon, and you’re both after the same soul. you hate each other, but you just can’t stay away from him.

part two { f, a ,s } 6,4k

the strange man of monterrey manor ( series ) { vampire au; f, s, a }  @quokkacore

chapter one: a marriage most foul

chapter two: voices that wail in the night

chapter three: a solution to the issue at hand (m) [final]

Make Love, Not Porn { s } @charmercharm3r

You crave a life of normalcy, he craves you. And he'd do anything to keep you, even if you're for the world to see.

Play Time 3,8k

Heat Signature 5,9k

Puppeteer 4,3k

Hi, My Name Is 7,7k

Sunday 6,7k

Texts

Boyfriend texts @like-a-diamondinthesky

Boyfriend texts @gyuworm

Note: please let me know if the links are not working ! I’ll try to fix them as soon as possible ^^

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Capitol Punishment XIII

Haymitch x Reader

Summary: The Capitol continues to torture it’s victors no matter how long ago they won through punishment, exploitation, and worst of all; their relationships.

A story in which Haymitch’s lover is a plaything for the Capitol.

Warnings: Canon level violence, rape, alcohol, murder, systemic poverty, exploitation, rebellion (?), more reliance on movie than book, suicidal thoughts, swearing, illness, pregnancy, miscarriage, torture, sexual torture, medical stuff

Word Count: 3.7K

Part XII | Masterlist | Part XIV

A/N There will be medical stuff explained. I’m not a doctor so just pretend it makes sense

You felt like you had woken up in a strange environment 20 times in the last day and a half and you hoped this would be the last time you woke up like this.

As your eyes peeled open you were greeted with a harsh hospital light. You could feel someone holding your hand at your side. Turning your head you found Haymitch clasping your hand, head resting on the bed as he dozed off. You felt a smile tug at your lips seeing him so peaceful. You tried to reach over to stroke his hair with your free hand but whatever the doctors had done to you wouldn’t allow that as your abdomen cramped.

You returned to your previous position flat on your back with a hiss, stirring Haymitch. Which was impressive considering how deeply he used to sleep even when it wasn’t due him blacking out. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he asked frantically, eyes moving around erratically searching for the cause of your pain.

“I’m fine,” you tried to calm him down. “Just a little sore from the surgery. Do you know what they did?”

“Just that they had to fix some internal bleeding. They said the doctor would be in to update us when you woke up,” he explained. He brushed some fingers through your hair. “God I’m so glad you’re okay. I know I’ll never be able to fix or make you forget what they did to you but I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“Haymitch,” you scolded slightly, “it’s not your fault. I never once blamed you for this.” You lifted your hand to stroke down the side of his face. “I love you and I know you’d never put me in danger on purpose.”

“I never should’ve let you out of my sight,” he continued anyways. “Especially when I knew what was coming.”

Before you could protest once again the doctor came in. “Mrs. Abernathy,” he interrupted. “Glad to see you’re awake.”

“Uh- yeah,” you agreed, pulling away slightly from your husband. “What happened?”

The doctor paused for a second, struggling with saying what he needed to say in a delicate way. “Well, um, your injuries were due to, what we believe to be, repetitive, violent rape and a not properly cared for miscarriage. We stitched up the source of the bleeding internally and those stitches will degrade safely within the body over time so no need to get them removed. And while the Capitol did remove the decaying cells from your miscarriage to prevent you from going into sepsis, your uterus and other vaginal structures were mostly scar tissue. I’m sorry to say that you’ll never be able to carry a pregnancy again.”

You were horrified. Horrified remembering everything you’ve faced, not just in the Capitol after the Quarter Quell but also for the years of abuse that you hadn’t realized was killing your body in more ways than you thought. You were also disappointed remembering the miscarriage you had and the news that you’d never be able to give Haymitch a family. And yet also strangely relieved?

You faintly heard him dismiss the doctor before facing you again. “Hey, Y/N? It’s okay. I know you wanted to have a baby but-” With his words you let the tears fall, sobs wracking your body.

It took you a second to be able to speak but when you could you said, “No, it’s not that. Of course I wanted to have our baby and I know it’s fucked up to say this but I’m relieved. I wasn’t able to admit it to myself until now but I couldn’t possibly have a baby in this fucked up world. Especially as we’re fighting a war that we could very well die in. Haymitch, I love you, and I would’ve loved our baby so much but I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way.”

Haymitch paused, stunned. He never knew you felt that way about your pregnancy. “Don’t worry. I’m relieved too.”

Your heart melted knowing that this man would do whatever and be whatever to make you happy. Since you still couldn’t really move, you tugged his collar, urging him to kiss you. He complied, leaning up to press his lips to yours in a deep kiss full of all of each others’ love. Your first kiss since the arena.

When Haymitch pulled away to breathe all he wanted was to crawl into bed and hold you tightly to his side like he had after your games. But the Capitol beds were much larger and you were more fragile than he had ever seen you so he opted instead to sit back down, clasping your hand once again.

A couple hours later you and Haymitch had both dozed off in the relative silence of the hospital wing of District 13. You were both startled awake by Johanna slamming the door open. “Ah, I see you two lovebirds are reunited in your perfect fucking bubble,” she sneered with a false smile.

“Ah, Johanna, nice to see you survived the games and the Capitol,” Haymitch groaned.

“Haymitch,” you scolded, rubbing your eyes. “Can you give us a second?” you asked him. He pursed his lips, reluctant to leave you again but agreed anyways, sending a look to Johanna as he exited the room. “How are you?”

She scoffed, fiddling with the IV bag she wheeled in. “How do you think?”

“Well considering you’re allowed to walk and you managed to give those doctors hell when we got back, I’m guessing not too bad.”

She chuckled at that. “All I want to do it carve the hearts out of Snow and all those Capitol bastards,” she growled. “I’m sure you feel the same. We could all hear everything as Snow let those guys-”

“Johanna,” you cut her off, not wanting to relive it.

“Sorry,” she said realizing your discomfort. “They tried to do it to me too. Again. I refused, nearly killed a guard in the process. Why didn’t you fight back while we were there? Not like they could’ve hurt you any worse.”

“When I first woke up there I had no clue where Haymitch was. No idea if he was in danger or not. Also I watched you and Peeta get dropped in your cells half dead every day. I figured *that was a better alternative to what you were going through.”

Johanna shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just us picking our poisons.”

“Have you seen Katniss? Or Annie? Or even Peeta?”

She looked surprised. “You haven’t heard?” Confused you shook your head no. “The Capitol fucked with Peeta’s brain. He’s basically terrified of Katniss and is trying to murder her. Anything about her sets him off.”

Your eyes widened. “What? They brainwashed him? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

She shrugged. “I’ve been trying to see you since they finished all their stupid little tests. You haven’t been awake in almost a day.”

Your eyes fluttered in astonishment as you realized that you had missed out on so much information. “Okay, where’s Katniss?”

“Recovering. Peeta was about to choke her to death before Haymitch and a few other guys got him off her.”

“And Annie? Finnick?”

Johanna shrugged once again. “She and Finnick are off somewhere. She’s fine. She was hardly touched while were were in the Capitol.”

“Good,” you breathed. Annie was the only one you hadn’t been able to see since three sides of your cage had been metal. You sometimes heard her screams but they were rare and as far as you could tell the guards hardly ever went into her cell.

Johanna scoffed. “She got nothing while Peeta and I were electrocuted and beaten half to death every day.”

“Johanna,” you scolded. “It’s not her fault. Besides she’s been through enough.”

“We’ve all been through enough. You, me, Haymitch, Finnick? We all got the worst of it after our games. Katniss got out her games scot-free and so did Peeta except now he’s paying for Katniss’-”

Her words were interrupted by Katniss as she closed the door behind her. You were shocked, you hadn’t even heard her come in. “You’re alive,” was all she said. You weren’t sure it was directed towards you or Johanna.

“So are you,” she answered, exiting the room.

It was Katniss’ turn to sit at your bedside, Haymitch following after. Her throat was badly bruised and her eyes looked bloodshot. From Peeta you realized. “Katniss,” you said softly, observing the haunted look in her eyes.

“Am I the reason you and the others got captured?” she asked, looking at both you and Haymitch.

“No,” you interrupted quickly. “Us getting captured was no one’s fault. All this shit isn’t your fault, you were just trying to save Prim.”

She opened her mouth to protest by Haymitch interrupted her. “Y/N, Coin wants you to talk to Peeta.”

“Who��s Coin?” you asked.

“Oh, right. There’s a lot to catch you up on. She’s the President of 13. And since Peeta’s mind has been altered, we’re hoping your face will offer some comfort since you were in the Capitol together.”

“Okay,” you agreed, eager to help the boy too good for this world. You tried to push yourself up only for Haymitch to rush to your side, pushing you down again.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he insisted. “You’re not cleared to walk yet. Let me find a wheelchair.”

“Haymitch,” you whined, “that’s humiliating.”

“Do you want me to carry you?”

“No, because that’ll be humiliating for the both of us when you drop me,” you joked. He gave you a sour look. “Fine,” you conceded.

Haymitch left, leaving you with Katniss once again. “District 12 is gone. The Capitol bombed it after the arena went out. I just thought you should know.”

You felt your expression physically drop. Everything you had ever known was just gone? The place you grew up, as shitty as it was? The people who had tried to help you when you lost everything? Your home with Haymitch? The place you had married yourselves? Just gone. You didn’t know what to say and neither did Katniss but your processing was interrupted by Haymitch’s return. “Is District 12 gone?” you blurted out, hoping Katniss was wrong.

He stopped dead in his tracks before sighing, nodding his head. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” he tried to comfort, coming back to your side. “Do you want me to tell Coin you’re not up to talking to Peeta?”

“No,” you answered quickly. “I’m fine. I can do this.” You felt so helpless now that your home was gone, you wanted to help someone. So you reluctantly let Haymitch wheel you towards what looked like a garage door. From there a medical assistant took you around the corner to a normal door and wheeled you into the brightest and whitest room you had ever seen. Strapped down to the bed was Peeta who looked at you with broken eyes. You nearly let out a sob realizing how frail and tormented he looked. “Peeta,” you said softly.

“Y/N,” he replied in the same manner.

“How are you feeling?” you asked.

“Where are we?” he dismissed your question. “This isn’t the Capitol.”

“We’re in District 13. Turns out it’s still a real place. We were rescued.”

“My family hasn’t come to see me.”

You felt a tear prick your eye as you remembered how poorly his family treated him in the first place. After he won the games and gave them more money they could possibly hope for they still refused to move into the home he won for them in Victor’s Village. “I’m sure we can-” you turned to find the assistant to ask them to bring his family but one shake of the head from him and you knew Peeta’s family hadn’t survived the bombing. “I’m so sorry, Peeta,” you cried, trying to take his hand gently. But he pulled his fingers just out of reach.

“There was an attack on 12,” he recalled. His empty, haunted expression slowly morphed into anger. “It’s Katniss. It’s because of Katniss.”

“It wasn’t because of her,” you insisted.

“Did she tell you to say that?”

“She didn’t tell me to say anything.”

“She’s a liar, Y/N,” he insisted. “It’s a trick.”

“What you’re saying isn’t real.”

A look of realization dawned over his face. “She sent you in here to talk to me. She and Haymitch.”

“No,” you began.

“Liar!” he suddenly yelled. “They’re liars! They left us in there!” You could faintly hear Haymitch’s yell to pull you out as the assistant began dragging you out of the room. You watched in horror as Peeta thrashed around on the bed screaming that Haymitch had abandoned you in the arena.

~

After another day you were cleared to try walking again. Before, rather than having a catheter placed (thank god), Haymitch would just carry you to the bathroom. An easier feat now that you barely weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet. And as much as you appreciated it it was also infantilizing having to be carried to and from the bathroom by your husband.

As you swung your legs over the side of the bed you suddenly became afraid. You had been so eager to be able to walk again, wanting to regain some independence but now you were afraid to fail.

You glanced up at Haymitch who was nervously watching you. He had been reluctant when the doctor said you could try walking again, saying it was too early but you had a suspicion that he liked that you were so dependent on him for once. But you were itching for some self-worth so you slid off the bed, making hesitant contact with the floor. Once you began placing your weight on your legs you felt them shake slightly but nothing you couldn’t handle. Haymitch, however, was immediately at your side, taking our arm to hold your weight.

“Haymitch, I’m fine,” you insisted.

“I know but if you fall and tear your stitches-”

“I’m *fine,”  you insisted, a sense of finality in your voice.

“Okay,” he agreed, raising his free hand in surrender. He slowly released your other hand, allowing you to settle your weight on your legs. You felt a full ache in your hips and lower torso due to inactivity and the surgery but carried on nonetheless.

After a couple minutes of walking the shaking had gone away as your body quickly recovered it’s previous strength. “See?” you said smugly to your husband and your stride became more normal.

“You know we’re on the same team, right?”

“I still win,” you replied.

~

Unfortunately as soon as you were well enough to walk around they started forcing you into therapy.

“So, Y/N, how are you?” the therapist, Conrad, asked you, a gentle smile on his face.

“I’m fine,” you answered shortly. You knew he was just doing his job but you didn’t need therapy. You’ve been going through the same shit over and over again for the better part of a decade and were doing fine.

“Y/N, I understand you’ve just been freed from the prison Snow put you in long before he literally put you in a cell but you should still talk about it.” You didn’t say anything, just stared at him. “The Capitol also tried other, psychological torture. Starvation, sleep deprivation, that’s all in your file but I can tell they cut off your hair too.” You felt the urge to reach for your choppy hair but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “Out of all the things they could do to you why do you think they chose to go after your hair?” You still refused to speak. “Y/N I can’t count this session or even end it if you don’t say anything.”

“So you’re bargaining for my compliance?” you challenged. “Just like they did with food and sleep?”

“No, I-”

“You wanna know about my hair? The Capitol guys didn’t like fucking a bag of bones that couldn’t stay awake long enough for them to make me beg them to stop as they hurt me. So they decided to continue to punish me by cutting off my hair while still keeping it long enough to keep me pretty.”

“Y/N, this is a safe space-”

“Why do you keep saying my name?” you yelled.

“To remind you that you’re human. You have worth and an identity. You’re not just your body.”

You rolled your eyes. “Trust me, I haven’t lost any self worth. I may have complied to survive and keep Haymitch alive but don’t think I let them turn me into a mindless slave.”

“Haymitch,” Conrad said, jotting a note. “Tell me about your relationship.”

“Why do we need to discuss him?”

“Because he seems to be the only thing you care about.”

“I care about other things,” you said defensively.

“But he’s the first you’ve mentioned by name that I didn’t bring up first. So tell me, what’s your relationship like in your most difficult times?”

“You wanna know what he’s like in the worst moments of my life? He was there for me. Do you think I’d be with him this long if he was an asshole?”

“Well he did mentor you and he was the only person in 12 who could possibly relate to you at the time.” You rolled your eyes, getting angry. “I think you should try to find an identity outside of your relationship.”

“I’m done. Tell the doctors to either get me a new therapist or stop sessions entirely. I’m not talking to someone who badmouths my husband.” And with that, you stormed out, heading to your and Haymitch’s dorm.

Haymitch had had his own dorm but since you were married they allowed you to have a two bunk dorm. You both had insisted that you wouldn’t need another bunk but they moved you anyways so the other bunk was just another seating area.

As you entered you found Haymitch sitting up on the bunk, reading. “Hey, how was-” But you ignored him, just climbing onto the bed, cuddling into his chest. He hummed, realizing what must’ve happened. “Hmm, that good huh?” he asked sarcastically.

~

You hadn’t been allowed to do much besides meet with Conrad. They had refused to get you a different counselor so you refused to be cooperative no matter how long he held you in his office.

The doctors also checked up on you frequently as rumors of invading the Capitol spread through 13. Katniss had gone out a couple times on “missions.” One of which was in 2 where she was shot. Fortunately Cinna had the foresight to make her suit one fit for combat so she was fine aside from a few bruised ribs.

When you went to visit her it was just after Johanna had. “You ever had the wind knocked out of you like that?” you asked with a chuckle.

“Never,” she admitted. “Everyone saw me just collapse like a dead body,” she groaned, covering her face.

“Well yes but everyone is eating up the ‘The Mockingjay survived a bullet’ thing.”

“You should’ve been the Mockingjay, or Johanna. Neither of you would’ve fallen.”

“Well I can believe that for Johanna but trust me, I’m not superhuman. Besides, men aren’t threatened by you once they’ve seen you naked,” you admitted.

Katniss hummed for a second, basking in the haunted look in your eye. “Well I think Haymitch is still pretty intimidated by Johanna.”

You laughed at the memory in the elevator. “Yeah well Johanna’s a little different.” You took a breath. “All those men who tried to destroy me… I just wanna put a knife through each and every one of their throats. I never let myself be angry at them because it would make the situation so much more unbearable but now… all I can picture is the life leaving them.”

“So why don’t you? You’re not the Mockingjay. Go to the Capitol with the others.”

“I’m not cleared to fight. Too many injuries. Besides Haymitch would insist of coming and he’s still getting used to being sober. He couldn’t fight.”

“I couldn’t bring Peeta out there either,” she admitted.

~

You stood at the edge of the dance floor, admiring Finnick and Annie’s first dance as a married couple. You were happy for them, they had been through so much it was nice to see them get their happy ending.

As the bridesmaids and groomsmen were called to the floor you reluctantly let Haymitch pull you to the dance floor along with Finnick, Annie, Katniss, Gale, and a few others. “So, you ever think about having a big wedding like this?” Haymitch asked you.

You gave him a look. “Getting married with a bunch of strangers in a bunker in the middle of a war? I much prefer our little elopement.”

Haymitch smiled. “Me too,” he said sweetly. “At least our wedding had booze.”

~

A/N sorry if the tone felt rushed. It’s hard to write about Mockingjay because it’s the most complicated book/movie and it focuses so heavily on Katniss and the things only Katniss can do so filling in the gaps is difficult

Part XII | Masterlist | Part XIV

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 11

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I always place my bookmark at the end of the chapter when I start reading to indicate the number of pages I have in a session, and this chapter is comparatively so short! Only like 20ish pages!

Once again, Charlie has abandoned me, but I am back on my soy lattes with matcha to accompany this chapter. Oversharing but; I ran out of my ceremonial grade matcha (delicious af) and tried a local tea shops matcha (much cheaper, still delicious, but texture and colour are very different). The matcha is tasty but definitely not the same. My wallet is happy, my taste buds are forlorn.

Minor angst aside- Let's get into this chapter!

Corpse?! Already! Starting this chapter off strong with maybe another death? I mean, Liu Qingge has 0 chance against Luo Binge, but still.

I will say MXTX is great at starting and ending chapters with anticipation. Like there is no filler chapter. She ends AND starts on action every time. It has made my one chapter a day read low key frustrating, but has definitely kept me engaged!

Wait. What corpse is Luo Binhe holding??? If it's Shen Qingqiu that is so fuckedp245

Double WAIT. What are they doing in the bed together :O OMG is he sleeping with the corpse?? p246

Im shaken. LOL It IS Shen Qingqiu's corpse. p247

Fucking SAME SQQ. Necrophilia is also not for me my guy "Too hardcore...Way too fucking hardcore! Even if his imagination had been as vast as the moon covered with craters, he had still never imagined that one day he would become a character in this kind of hardcore kink play". p247

SQQ I really don't think it can be called bullying to have the guy let go of your own corpse (that was being super desecrated) p248

okay but. question: did he sleep or SLEEP with the corpse? I need to know because I am overwhelmed at this revelation. Both are unhinged, but like one of them is significantly worse.

honestly, SQQ, I too want to know how that corpse is being preserved p248

NOT CORPSE HOT POTATO p249

LOL at Liu Qingge panicking about touching the corpse's flesh. Like sure, I get it, if that was my friend/sect sibling's body I would be horrified at the man handling p249

oh! His (SQQ) sword (and Luo Binghe's old sword??) is repaired!! that's rad! p250

Oh gosh. Luo Binghe is Big Mad that they are snatching his corpse boyfriend p250

Thank god that SQQ was able to get Liu Qingge to to actually leave- this could have been awful. p251

aaaaaaaand what a time for SQQ to have a change of heart about Luo Binghe. He is SO soft for him. 10000% he is going to get himself killed -> again. p251

OMG he was so close to telling him his identity and the confession was disrupted vie him being kidnapped! p252

wait- who else broke in?? was it Shang Qinghua? p253 ofc MXTX loves to leave little cliff hangers.

Oh no, Luo Binghe did remember to activate the demon blood mites. poor SQQ. p254

meanwhile SQQ is basically dying (not actually but he sure feels like he is) and is having an entire mindmap thought journey about how Luo BInghe came to this level of infatuation with himp254

we now have SQQ questioning his worldview, his entire life, himself as an individual, every choice he has ever made, and a his own sexuality. poor babe. p255

oh shit. Wait- what's the cure for the blood mites?? Who is this guy??? p256

are you fucking kidding me. LOL omg. Another demon. I just went to my notes from yesterday and this applied, but make it 3 dimes. "Shen Qingqiu (probably): if I had a dime for every time I had demonic blood poisoning me I would have two, and that's not a lot, but fucked up it happened twice. LOL" at this point should I keep a dime count??

omg! is he attacking him now from within the dream realm??? p258 so scary!

okay he is not attacking SQQ he is attacking HIMSELF. Luo Binghe is not okay. The level of unwell he is exhibiting is frankly, quite alarming. p259

all of this self harming because he lost his shizun's corpse omg

Well... at least luo binghe is apologizing for the water prison? p261

and here we have SQQ having a crisis about not wanting to be near Luo Binghe while he simultaneously cannot resist patting his head anyways p262

oh god. baby luo binghe intentionally kept all of the scars that Shen Qinqiu gave him. what the fuck I'm emotional. p263

Wel it's about time. SQQ finally figured out he fucked up treating Luo Binghe like a character and not a person. BUT, based on the last line of this chapter, I have a suspicion that 1. luo binghe is not himself (someone else impersonating him??) OR Luo Binghe knows exactly what the fuck he is dong.

I cannot with these cliffhangers!

I need to know who this other demon is and who is controlling this dream rn. I did take a look ahead at page count and the next couple chapters are very short AND end book 2, so I am not looking forward to likely more drama and another several cliffhangers.

pray 4 me.

[thesupreme316]

hi i was wondering if you could do aew boys reacting to you getting injured this is my first request. i love you storys🩷

OF COURSE SWEETHEART and thank you so much for the kind words

AEW Stars React to You Getting Injured:

Pairings: Hook X Reader, Eddie Kingston X Reader, Dante Martin X Reader, Ricky Starks X Reader, MJF X Reader, Kenny Omega X Reader, Daniel Garcia X Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Supreme Speaks: hiiiiii...sorry for the spam for the past couple of days (just wanna get these requests out and make room for more)...THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE. thank you to @aew190 for the request. also the reader is unspecified so gender neutral (tailor it to your liking). Please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warning: not proofread

Taglist: @wwenhlimagines @hooks-martin @aew190 @hookerforhook @sheinthatfandom @eddie-kingstons-wifey

Backstory:

You were in a match (with an opponent of your choosing)

You were about to attempt a diving move (or signature move)

But then your opponent countered it; causing you to slip and hit your shoulder first extremely hard

You felt immediate pain and laid on the mat for a little bit as the ref checked on you

You decided to continue the match and you won, making the crowd cheer

Clutching your shoulder, you were able to walk yourself to the back where your boyfriend/best friend sat

Hook:

Man is worried; but it’s concerning to those around him

Like this man has not moved, blinked, nothing since you took that bump

Even though it wasn’t that bad of a bump, you dislocated your shoulder

He just kept looking at how you clutched your arm in pain

Hook lightly hugged your other side and whispered “As long as you’re okay, everything is fine.”

This man would be the best nurse; you never would have to lift a damn finger

Hook carries your bags, has all your favorite drinks and snacks in his bookbag, and never complains

Gives frequent updates to The Lads

“They lifted their arm today….to throw a pillow at me. But still, progress.”

Will help you gain your strength through workouts and therapy

Eddie Kingston:

Man is worried but he runs around like a chicken with his head cut off

Cussing everyone and they momma out, “Fuck you, fuck you, hi Ishii, and FUCK YOU CLAUDIO”

After figuring out the injury was not as bad as it could have been, Eddie immediately becomes that nurse that will do their job while complaining

You: Can you help me put this hoodie on?

Eddie: Oh my gawd, you are so needy….but yeah fo sure I gotchu

He doesn’t like to see you in pain; will distract you with old wrestling or him just going off about people

Despite him saying that he doesn’t like you or want to help you, he will never leave your side and will do anything to comfort you during this

(Man will tell jokes but never lies)

Will act like everything he does is no problem or it means nothing, but it does mean something to both you and him

Is secretly planning for revenge

Kenny Omega:

THIS SWEETHEART WOULD BE CRUSHED

His heart would literally fall apart as he realized what happened

Keeps watching the match to make sure nothing else happens

When you come backstage, he already talked to Tony about taking you off TV for a little bit

Gives you all the time and attention in the world

Wears your merch for support

Gets online to find a specialist for your injury

Will not leave your side; Kenny might actually move into your house temporarily to help out

“Why the hell is all your cups so damn high? This is not safe for a short injured demon like yourself.”

Kenny will spend all his days playing video games with you, helping you around the house, and getting you back in shape for the ring

All to make sure that you’re okay and safe

Daniel Garcia:

Okay; hear me out

Man would freak out and then once learning that your injury is not that severe, would turn up

I’m talking man would act like you’re not hurt and drag you to every social gathering he could

Shit might throw you a recovery party

“One club, another club, another club, brunch, another club.”

It’s his way of comforting you; as a person who was injured, he was deprived of socializing with others

He doesn’t want that for you; he wants you to recognize that just because of your injuries, doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on your friends

Will do anything if you ask him though

Daniel will also FaceTime you a lot so that you’re not missed throughout the locker room;

“Everyone say hi to Y/N, now everyone boo them cause they're not here.”

Ricky Starks:

Man is worried at first because he’s fought numerous injuries before

More or so worried about the aftermath of it for you; doesn’t want you to get left behind

Instantly thinks of ways for you to be on TV without being in the ring and pitches them on your behalf

Ricky: So then, Y/N interrupts them and is like “Hell No” like Brandi to Jade

TK: Ricky I-

Ricky: Wait your turn…..jackass

Is forever right beside you in case you need anything; doesn’t want you to feel alone

Will go with you to all your consultations and stuff, bring you all your favorite food and stuff

I also think Ricky would be the one to stop everything just to check on you; where it’s over the phone or in person

Also, if you have a cast or a brace, Ricky will bedazzle it in your sleep

Dante Martin:

THIS BABY

HE SUCH A BABY

As he is injured and his brother suffered from numerous injuries, he was instantly feeling bad for you

Lets you know that you are not alone

Sits backstage with you as The Lads got matches and storylines; talks about anything and nothing

I think (because of the fact Dante and I were born in the same year) Dante would definitely be cracking jokes about this

“At least we got each other during this. I got one leg and you got one arm, we’re practically one full person.”

Dude will do anything to make you smile;

Feels more content and happy with you beside him

Ya’ll are constantly pushing each other to go to physical therapy and recovery

if ya’ll weren’t dating beforehand, you definitely are now

MJF:

Instantly roasts you on Twitter

….Idk why you expected anything else…

Anyways, he would definitely take care of you by giving care and attention

While roasting you to your face; you are never safe from this man’s wrath

“You look like death…..NO YOU LIKE OPTIMUS PRIME WHEN HIS ARM GOT SLICED OFF AHAHA”

Will buy you unnecessary and extreme items for your recovery; but claims that he needs the state-of-the-art towel warmer (really it's for you)

ALSO the man will buy you a Burberry scarf and tell you it’s a fake, but it's actually real

I think he genuinely feels bad that you are injured and will try to make your life easier during this time in his own way

If he can’t be there for you, he’s bringing you on the road to keep an eye on you; will never leave you alone tbh

To others, Max just doesn’t really care for you but you and him both know that he’s trying his best and that’s all that matters

[inkedtae]

Are we gonna get a rac update 👉👈

please don't hate me 😭 but there will not a rac updated until december, mayhaps november. i have two main biases and one of the has a b-day month coming up sooner than the other so i am speed writing to fill that month up and i have concluded 1 series which now gives me time to focus on others (like rac)

HOWEVER!! i will add a sneak peek (i ensured it was a tad bit lengthy) to the next chapter under the cut to avoid any spoilers. i am so sorry for the long wait. i feel so guilty for leaving you all hanging! i promise i will do my best to write as fast as i can! 🥺💕

“You must be Taehyung!”

You hear Mrs Chu exclaim, eyes widening. What the fuck is he doing up here? You told him you’d be down soon, not even a second ag—

Shit.

A glance at your last message shows it was really sent about twenty minutes ago. You find he initially replied with acknowledgement. Later, perhaps growing concerned from the delay, he warns that if you’re not down in the next sixty seconds, he will be coming up.

Mrs Chu has been trying to meet Taehyung for weeks. You’ve always been able to come up with some sort of excuse, usually revolving around the lack of time. You’re always in a rush and he’s always busy.

“Once he figures his schedule out, I’ll let you know,” you had reassured. You could tell from they way she quirked her brow she wasn’t all that convinced.

With a huff, you grab your clutch, tossing in your lip gloss, keys, phone and wallet, and rush out into the hall.

Taehyung stands in a full black suit, only a silver tie shining between the lap of his coat. He towers over a five foot six Mrs Chu. His hair is slicked back, a sliver cuffed earring pinned to his lobe. He offers her a smile, a gentle nod.

He says something. The deep tone of his voice masks the words from a distance.

She’s practically giggling, though. Her face is a shade pinker and she forces herself to look away.

Is this what you look like? Is this what everyone sees? He towers, you cower, bashful and dazed, inching closer towards him. He calls, you fall, helpless and desperate, playing with the buttons of his shirt.

Is this why no one believes you’re friends?

Taehyung, eyes lazy yet intrigued, lips easy yet curved, draws Mrs Chu’s attention back.

“I see why ____ is so smitten,” she teases.

Your eyes widen. Heat rushes to your cheeks, hands suddenly clammy.

“Mrs Chu,” you call before she can go on any further.

You feel Taehyung’s eyes on you but can’t bring yourself to meet them. You keep your attention on Mrs Chu, making your way towards her.

Slipping between her and Taehyung, you pointedly glance at the couch. “Isn’t Wheel of Fortune on soon?” You ask through gritted teeth.

Mrs Chu rolls her eyes. She leans in towards you, peers up over the rim of her glasses, and mutters,“Subtle.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from groaning and you swear you hear Taehyung stifle a laugh behind you.

She then looks towards him, and smiles. “It was nice meeting you, Taehyung.” Exaggerating her features, she feigns surprise and adds, “I just remembered Wheel of Fortune will be on soon.”

“How is that any less subtle?” you whisper.

Mrs Chu opens her mouth to most likely tell you off when her eyes fall to your waist.

Taehyung wraps an arm around your middle, pulling you back against him. Your breath hitches as you stumble back.

“I would love to continue this subtle conversation, but we really should be going.”

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova and Enolio. I also do not condone the beliefs or actions of Coriolanus or Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova fights to get herself back.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: THIS IS A DARK CHAPTER. It contains violence, mentions of murder, suicide, and torture, death, weapons, and swearing

A/n: i’m sorry this took so long to get out🥲🥲i’m gonna try to update this series more often

Coriolanus felt as if his body was turning to ice. 

He barely managed to refrain from trembling in fear. His life could be ended with a flick of Bellova’s wrist if he didn’t think fast enough. 

He decided against trying to play coy. He knew that would only infuriate her more, and lead to his demise.

“I can explain,” he said as gently as he could. 

Bellova’s cold laughter echoed in his ears, making him shudder in her painfully tight grasp. Her sharp nails dug into his pale complexion, slowly but surely breaking through the first layers of skin.

“I would love to hear your reasoning as to why you thought ruining my life would be a wise choice,” she replied. She was beyond angry, which Coriolanus knew was bad news for him. 

“Where did you get-“

“The knife?” Bellova chuckled lowly, dragging the sharp edge back-and-forth across Coriolanus’s neck, applying just enough pressure to make him gasp. “When you took all of the weapons from my room, you didn’t check underneath my bed. I hid a blade tucked in the frame in case of emergencies. And this seemed like a fitting time to use it.”

Coriolanus swallowed. His throat felt like it had been replaced by sandpaper. 

“How did you…become you again?”

“I don’t know. Everything was a blur. I felt like I was pulled out of a fever dream and back to reality.”

Bellova let go of him, only to spin him around and hold her blade right above his heart. “Now, you’re going to explain exactly what the fuck you did to me. The last thing I remember was being stabbed in the neck by a syringe, and collapsing on the floor of your office. Clearly, you took my mind hostage and took control of everything in my life.”

Coriolanus backed up, but Bellova was relentless. She grabbed him by the neck and shoved hard, pressing him up against the wall. Her lips curled into a sneer. 

He had forgotten just how terrifying she could be.

“I deserve an explanation, and I intend to get it. Then, once I’m satisfied, I’m going to kill you, as slowly and painfully as I can.”

Somehow, her violent threat snapped him out of his fearful mindset.

He could easily physically overpower her. He was now stronger than her, thanks to his time as a peacekeeper. During their Academy days, Bellova had prided herself in her physical strength. Though she appeared harmless, with a few well-placed blows, she could bring almost anyone to their knees. He was always envious of that ability, as he couldn’t match it. He was too malnourished to even try.

But now, he was properly fed and had developed a significant amount of muscle during his peacekeeper training. 

He could kill her with his bare hands if he wanted to. 

And right now, he really fucking wanted to.

But he knew it wasn’t the right choice. He had to play her game first.

With faux reluctance, Coriolanus told Bellova everything. How he’d used Dr. Gaul’s serum to alter her mind, how he’d killed her father and taken over the Reginelle family’s resources, how he’d gotten her closest friends arrested. 

He was practically able to see the cogs in her mind working. Her eyes, which once again contained the fierceness that Coriolanus had worked so hard to erase, were filing with angry tears. 

He flinched as he felt his cheek meet the palm of her hand harshly. He wasn’t surprised that she’d slapped him, but it was still irritating. She really was a bitch. 

“You’re a fucking snake, Coriolanus Snow,” she hissed, wrapping one of her hands around his throat and bringing the tip of her knife closer to his heart. “Say goodbye to everything you’ve accomplished, none of it will matter once I’m through with you.”

Bellova raised the blade, ready to begin creating morbid lacerations her “fiancé’s” perfect skin. 

But as her hand came down, Coriolanus reached out and grabbed her wrist, effectively stopping the motion. Before she could squirm away, he ripped the weapon out of her hand. His temper flared, and he shoved her to the hard marble floor, making her cry out in pain. She tried to scramble away, but he was on top of her before she could get back on her feet. 

Bellova opened her mouth to scream, but Coriolanus muffled the noise with his large hand. “Scream again and I’ll end you, you dumb bitch,” he snarled in her face. He grabbed the ends of her hair and tugged harshly, and she let out a quiet whine. She kept squirming wildly, trying to escape him, but she was trapped. He had her pinned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bellova asked, her face flushed with panic and fury. “You’ve already done enough damage, why won’t you just let me be?”

“You know too much,” he sneered, intensifying his grip in her hair. She whimpered, silent tears streaming down her face. “I can’t have you exposing all of my endeavors, it would ruin my reputation and my blossoming career.”

“So you took over my head and ruined my life just to keep me quiet?“

Coriolanus laughed darkly. “You’re acting like you wouldn’t do the same if you were in my shoes.”

“Oh, shut u-“

He didn’t hesitate to smack her across the face, grinning as she cringed from the pain. “Now, my darling fiancée, this can go one of two ways. Either you stop fighting me and accept your fate, or I kill you and tell everyone in the Capitol you committed suicide. Which will it be?”

Bellova looked defeated. Coriolanus smirked, satisfied with the fact that he’d finally gotten his way. 

Then, she spit in his face. 

“I’ll never live under your rule, Snow,” she sneered. “I’d rather die.”

Coriolanus was extremely tempted to use Bellova‘s own knife to torture her slowly, dragging out her pain until her body couldn’t take it anymore. However, he knew that one of the servants or Avoxes in the estate would hear her screams, and he’d be caught red-handed.

So, he settled for knocking her out with a punch to her temple. 

Picking her up, Coriolanus threw her onto the bed unceremoniously. He cursed silently, storming into his closet and pulling on an outfit as quickly as possible. He walked out of the room and hurried down the stairs, throwing on a coat and grabbing his satchel. 

“I’m going to the Citadel. Emergency meeting with Dr. Gaul,” he told Enolio. “Don’t enter Bellova’s room, she’s had a rough night and her sleep must not be disturbed. If I hear that you defied my order, I’ll get you fired. Understood?”

Enolio looked pissed, but nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

Coriolanus rushed out of the building and climbed into one of Bellova’s many family cars before the driver could open the door for him. 

“Take me to the Citadel, get me there as fast as you can.”

The driver gulped, and started the car. Like many of the workers at the Reginelle estate, he got nervous when the Snow heir was around. 

Coriolanus knew he tended to have that effect on people, which he greatly enjoyed. 

He’d never get tired of seeing people’s eyes widen in fear when they realized he was about to end their careers lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dr. Gaul?”

Coriolanus’s voice echoed through the empty lab. The only living beings in sight were mutations, which chirped, hissed, and mewled quietly in their cages.

“Back here, Mr. Snow.”

He followed the doctor’s voice until he spotted her at the very back of the lab. She was staring at a couple of sketched designs, both of which were labeled as mutts to include the next Hunger Games. 

“I need help,” Coriolanus said, hanging his satchel on the back of a chair. “It’s Bellova. She’s back to her old self.”

“And how exactly did that happen?” The doctor’s voice was deadly quiet, making Coriolanus fidget uncomfortably.

“I-I don’t know. I went to go shower, and when I went back to her bedroom, she attacked me with a knife. I knocked her out after a bit of a struggle, and I came here.” 

Dr. Gaul frowned, her horrifying eyes narrowing. “Perhaps she finally was able to fight the altercations the serum made to her mind, and regain control.” 

“Maybe,” Coriolanus said. “But I need to get her back under. I can’t have her telling everyone about…about everything I’ve done.” 

Dr. Gaul sighed, setting down her papers. “Bring her here tomorrow morning. Once she wakes she will undoubtedly be hostile, so you’ll need to threaten her with violence to get her to comply. By the time she arrives in my lab, I will have an experimental room ready specifically to perform tests on her.”

“What tests?“

The doctor grinned crookedly. “We will see if she can be persuaded to behave the way you want. If so, we can keep her off the serum. But if not, we will keep her here until I develop a new formula that will keep her mind malleable and vulnerable, allowing you to have full control.”

“And what if neither of those work?”

Dr. Gaul shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Then we will dispose of her. We can’t have anything getting in the way of your success, can we, Mr. Snow?”

Coriolanus smirked. 

“No, we certainly can’t.” 

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy, @effectwalker, @vxnilla-hxrddrugs, @mystargirl-interlude

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments! It may take me a bit to write the next chapter, and the story will start having longer, more frequent time skips, because we’ll be getting into Coriolanus’s career as a Gamemaker, and then his transition into politics.

Also, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[cloudlessly-light]

hi! idk if you're taking requests for fics but i wanted to make a fic request! i was watching the lauren reynolds/ian doyle episodes again and when the team is finding out em is lauren, hotch calls emily and we see her phone with hotch's contact photo of him straight CHEESING! would u be able to write a fic on how emily gets THAT PHOTO as her contact photo for hotch?

A/N: This chapter is long overdue, life got crazy but I’m going to try and get back on track and update this weekly if you’re still interested!

Title: Love like mine (7/12) Chapter title: So magical you won’t ever want to think about tomorrow Summary: He wasn’t a cheater. Until her. Word count: 3,5k Rating: Explicit   Warnings (for this chapter): Smut, oral, dirty talk, Emily takes charge for once, praise kink Aaron? emotionally stunted idiots, feelings

“But I also know I could be happy with you.”

The words had played on a loop in her mind the rest of the night, his honesty close to scaring her. Because she thinks she could be happy with him too. But this is not how love stories that last forever start, they don’t start with lies and deceit and she tries to remind herself of that.

What she realizes quickly though, is that she can’t stay away from him.

Barely three days later she finds herself in his apartment, mostly unpacked but boxes still stacked away in a few places and he fucks her over the kitchen counter. She wonders if he thinks about her when he makes his dinner the following day. If he remembers her the way she tastes as he pours himself a cup of coffee or hears the way she pleads his name when he goes to shower in the same bathroom where he’d surprised her and made her come pressed between his warm body and the cold tiles.

They start right where they left off, only now it’s different, the same and yet something had changed. Neither of them talk about the fact that their frantic fucking leads to longer talks in the dark, or that he shows up with take out from her favorite place or she drops by with a bottle of scotch and instead of it being fast and rough and rushed, it’s slower, conversation lasting hours, touches lingering but not with the intent to arouse but to simply feel skin under their palms.

A few weeks go by in a blur, between work and him she feels herself almost losing track of time. He’s been separated for only a couple of months, the paperwork for his divorce still not done. She sometimes watches the skin on his ring finger, a few shades lighter than the rest and one time, he catches her.

“It is over, with Haley.” He gently traces her ribs as they lay facing each other, naked and sweaty in his bed. “It was over the moment I decided to cheat on her.”

“Do you blame me?” She bites her bottom lip as she waits for his response, almost relieved when he tugs her closer.

“No.” His hand splays over the small of her back and the familiar heat of his touch makes her relax. “I didn’t know I was missing something in my marriage. Did we go about everything in the worst way? Yes, but I don’t blame you for that. I made that choice.”

“She does.” She offers him a small smile. “And I don’t blame her for that, I never will, but I guess I just wanted to know if you did too.”

“Em,” He sighs and brushes her hair out of her face. “You got her anger when it should have been directed at me and I’m sorry for that. But do you honestly think we’d be here now if I blamed you?” He smiles as he leans closer to her, hovering close enough for his lips to brush against hers and he feels her lips tug into a smile.

“I guess not.” She lets her fingers brush through his short hair and he makes a sound low in his throat in response.

“No more talking.” He whispers as she shifts below him, her legs spreading for him to fit between.

“No more talking.” She agrees.

*

“Good morning.” His low voice is coupled with a few kisses against her naked shoulder, his lips soft as they trail down her shoulder blade and back up her spine. She had spent another night in his apartment, almost losing track of how many times she’d been there by now.

“Mornin’” She rasps, still half-asleep when she turns and to her  surprise he’s fully dressed. “What time is it? Where are you going?” Confused, she sits up against the headboard, the sheet falling down and exposing her naked body to his appreciative eyes.

“It’s early, but I have a budget meeting first thing and I need to prepare some paperwork.” He sits on the edge of the bed and smiles softly at the way she looks so soft, eyes still bleary from sleep, hair tousled and she smiles back.

“Okay give me a couple of minutes and I’ll go.” She makes a move to get out of bed but his hand on her shoulder stops her.

“No reason for you to get up, stay here, sleep for a little longer.”

“You sure?” She bites her lip nervously, this was new, almost too intimate but he just nods.

“Just lock up when you leave.” He puts the spare key on the side table next to her phone and then leans over her to nuzzle her nose with his. “You look very pretty like this, still fucked out from me.”

She hums into a kiss, her hand coming around the back of his neck to keep him close.

“You should have woken me up earlier.” She sighs and kisses him again and fights her body’s urge to keep him there when he pulls away. “You look handsome.” She doesn’t give out compliments often, but whenever she does, he would always smile that smile that made his dimple pop out and she quickly snatched her phone from the dresser and took a photo.

“Emily!” He tried to take the phone from her but she quickly shook her head and took another picture, her smile turning into a low chuckle when he tried to reach for it again. “Emily, put the phone away.”

“Say cheese and I will.” She grinned when he tried to stare her down, his usual frown not deterring her in the slightest. She took two more photos and he rolled his eyes.

“Cheese!” He grinned exaggeratedly and she laughed as she snapped another pic, and when his cheeks tinted the slightest shade of pink she resisted the urge to press her finger against the heated skin. “Happy now?”

“Yes actually, I needed a new contact photo for you.” When he huffed in response she got up on her knees on the bed, phone still in hand.

“And that’s what you’re going with?” He wraps his hands around her naked middle just enjoying the way her body feels against his.

“Well, I’d rather have a picture of your real smile, I like that a lot more than your fake one.” She sees him trying to fight it, but then he’s smiling, a genuine smile and she quickly takes one last photo. “Like that one, that’s the winner.”

“I swear Emily, you’re nothing but trouble.” His tone is teasing, his lips still tugged upward as he speaks close to her face.

“Yeah, but you already knew that.” She throws her phone on the bed and wraps her arms around his shoulders to kiss him, something that’s lingering and slow and everything they weren’t a few months ago. “See you at the office.”

“Yeah.” He squeezes her hand in his before stepping away. “Bye.” He gives her one more look before forcing himself to leave.

When she walks into the office a few hours later it’s with a smile she wants to ignore and a fluttering in her belly that she knows she shouldn’t feel. She’s one of the last to arrive and she forces the smile away, knowing that Derek and Spencer would pick up on it immediately. As she hangs her coat over the back of her chair and leaves her go-bag beside her desk, her eyes lock with Dave who’s just exiting his office. He gives her a nod, and she nods back. He hadn’t brought it up, the fact that he knew about the affair, that he knows that they’re still seeing each other, and for that she was eternally grateful.

Then Aaron is walking out of his own office, eyes roaming over the bullpen before landing on her quickly.

“We got a case, conference room.” His curt tone lets all of them know that it’s going to be a bad one.

Correction, it was a horrible one. Cases involving children always hit them harder, were always worse to deal with. And like most cases they worked when it involved a kidnapped child, it ended badly, they were too late and a young boy wouldn’t be coming home to his parents.

It was a local case, which meant that they all got to sleep in their own beds that night, except, no one wanted to go home.

“Are you guys hungry?” Derek asks as they all sit quietly in the office, no one really wanting to be there, but finding that being alone would be worse.

“Not really.” Emily sighs as she leans back against her chair, she felt empty, drained, and she could see the same type of feelings on the rest of their faces.

“Should we go anyways?” JJ asks from beside her where she’s leaning against her desk.

“Come on, I’m buying.” Dave offers, his tone a bit lighter than the rest of them and Penelope nods.

“We need this.” She agrees and with that, they pack up to leave.

What Emily hadn’t really counted on however, was the fact that Aaron was unusually quiet. Not speaking much during dinner and when they ended up in the bar of the restaurant a couple of hours later, he sat with Dave, nursing the same scotch. She couldn’t help but to watch him, saw that he was enjoying the conversations around him, smiling at Penelope’s rambling and shaking his head slightly at Spencer’s excitement about science. But he wasn’t in it, not really and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

She finds him when he’s alone at the bar, unsurprised that he hasn’t ordered anything and simply stood there.

“Hey.” Her voice seems to break through whatever he was thinking.

“Hey.” He turns slightly toward her, but keeps his distance. “Are you having a good night?”

“Not really.” She searches his face for a moment, catches the way he tries to put his normally calm facade back up but she sees right through it. “And neither are you.” Her statement causes his shoulders to drop the slightest bit and his jaw clenches. “You did everything you could.”

“And it wasn’t enough.” He sighs heavily, his heavy brow deepening. “I’ll be fine. I just…” his voice drops off and Emily lets her hand rest on top of his on the bar.

“It could have been Jack.” She finishes for him and she sees the tension on him only increase. “This is not where you need to be.” She leaves no room for argument when she walks back to their table, says goodbye to the team and realizes that she’s not the only one who’s noticed their boss’s behavior when no one even bats an eye.

“Prentiss,” Dave’s voice stops her from exiting behind Aaron. “make sure he’s okay?” His eye meets her and she smiles softly.

“I will.”

 With that, she leaves and Dave turns back to the rest of the table.

“It’s funny how they became friends after initially not getting along.” Penelope says and he suppresses a grin. If they only knew.

She enters his apartment with the same key he gave her earlier that day, then puts it in the bowl on the dresser next to the door before kicking off her shoes. When she turns Aaron is hanging up his coat, followed by his suit jacket which he drapes over the back of a chair before taking her jacket and hanging it up next to his.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks softly and he shakes his head.

“Not really.” He tells her honestly and when she comes to stand closer to him, he lets his forehead rest against hers.

“What do you need?” Her eyes searches his, brown meeting brown and he pulls her the tiniest bit closer.

“I want to forget, just for a little while.” He didn’t want to think, needed to get out of his own head, needed to not remember, if only just for an hour. Luckily, Emily knew what that meant, had felt the same type of feelings before and she nods.

“Okay.” She takes his hand and drags him with her towards the bedroom. Her lips are almost tentative against his when she kisses him, lets her lips trail from his lips over his jaw, his stubble rough against her skin, down the column of his throat. “I’ll take care of you.” She whispers as her fingers tug on his tie, gets it undone and on the floor quickly. She knows that she needs to go slow, to drive him crazy to get him to truly shut his mind off, so she takes it slow, tastes his skin and trails her fingers over his body. It works, she feels him relax, hears his breathing coming out in shorter pants, feels his warm fingers as they move under her shirt to feel her skin.

This is truly the first time he’s let her take charge, enjoys her searching lips and warm hands as she slowly gets him undressed, her lips trailing lower and lower until she’s kneeling in front of him. She gets his slacks off, adds them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor before she takes off her shirt, followed by her own pants.

He sits at the edge of the bed when she gently pushes him backwards, his eyes trained on her as she kneels between his legs. With every passing moment he feels himself able to forget about the horror of their day, and instead he gets lost in the way she’s making him feel. When her hands move slowly from his knees and down the inside of his thighs, a shaky breath leaves his lips and she smirks. Quickly, she rubs her hand over the length of him, still in his boxers and he bites back a groan.

“Do you want me?” She asks teasingly as she removes her bra and then lets her hands trail over her breast fingers gently pulling on the nipple rings she knows he loves so much.

“Yes.” He breathes, his sole focus on her and she’s pleased that he seems to be getting out of his own head.

“Good.” She stands on her knees leans forward between his legs, her tongue licking over one of his nipples before tugging it between her teeth and he hisses. “Let me make you feel good.” Her eyes stay on his when she kisses further down his body, not stopping until she’s back kneeling between his legs. When she licks the inside of his thigh she catches the way he grips the comforter in his fists and she smirks up at him.

“Emily.” His voice comes out low, graveled and thick with want and it causes her thighs to clench together.

“Yes Aaron?” She teasingly licks over his bulge and she feels his cock jerk against her tongue even through the cotton of his boxers.

“More, I need more.” He knows that he could easily switch things around, but for once it felt good not being the one in charge, it felt good to give himself to her this way.

The power rush goes straight to her clit and she hums softly against his cock, the fabric of his boxers wet with her saliva. When she pulls his boxers off he groans at the cool air on his heated skin and she only waits a moment before slowly circling the tip of him with her tongue.

“Fuck.” He hisses at the heat of her tongue, watches with hooded eyes as she slowly licks down the length of him, slowly coating his shaft until he’s glistening under the dimmed lights.

“You’re being so good for me.” She praises him, the words she’s so used to hearing from him falling effortlessly from her lips and then she takes the tip of him on her mouth. Her lips wrap tightly around him and she sucks, earning herself a low groan from him and his hips jerk in pleasure.

He can’t focus on anything but the way her warm, wet mouth feels around him as she takes more and more of him down her throat. He doesn’t know what kind of spell she’s managed to put him under, but he can’t think about anything else but how good it feels, how good she is making him feel. His eyes are heavy lidded, his jaw slack and he leans back on his hands to he watch her, his eyes finding hers, dark and wicked as she swallows around him.

“Jesus Christ.” He mutters, one hand moving from the bedding to her hair where he gently fists the softs dark strands. But he doesn’t push or pull, simply enjoys the way she takes him apart by each swipe of her tongue. Then her hand wraps around the base of him, her wrist twisting as she continues to take him as deep as she can, eyes slightly glassy and he’s sure he’s never seen anything more erotic in his life. It’s not that she hadn’t gone down on him before, but something felt different, the confidence that radiated off her making him crazy and soon enough his hips buckle up against her touch, needing more. He was getting close, but she would slow every time he started to thrust against her, keeping him on edge in a way he hadn’t experienced before.

He's pretty sure groans and moans and profanities fall from his lips, but he can’t be sure, not when all he hears is his own heartbeat in his ears. She pulls off him for a moment to take a breath but she continues to stroke him, twists her wrist again and again and again and she smirks, something filthy and wicked.

“You look so good like this, straining for me.” Her thump swipes over the tip of him and he growls, his orgasm close, his thighs tense. “Do you want to come like this for me?” When she doesn’t get a reply she squeezes her hand around him, getting his attention. “Answer me.”

“Yes, Em yes.” He’s panting, the pressure inside of him thumping, making him unable to think straight.

“What do you say?” She keeps her hand tightly around him and licks precum from his tip, his skin red and swollen in her hand.

“Please.” The word falls from his lips without him even realizing and even though she had expected him to put up a bit more of a fight, she’s pleased that he didn’t.

“Good boy.” She whispers before taking him back in her mouth, sucking him deep and hard as her tongue moves over the underside of his shaft. Her hand ease up and she goes back to jerking the part of him that she’d never be able to get down her throat. She could feel his fingers flexing against her scalp, his hold on her hair just enough to send a jolt of pleasure down her body.

“Gonna come, fuck Em I’m gonna-” His words get caught in his throat when his release hits him like a freight train and he groans, the sound loud and breathy. He comes on her tongue, and he barely has the mind to keep his eyes open, but she’s watching him and he’s unable to look away. She swallows down his release with a low moan, keeps sucking and licking him even when she knows he must be oversensitive and doesn’t stop until his grip on her hair has loosened and he’s falling back against the bed with a breathless laugh.

“Fuck, that was… amazing.” He takes a moment to breathe, his body feeling heavy and when Emily comes to straddle his lap he immediately pulls her into a deep kiss. The taste of him is still on her tongue and he groans.

She lets herself fall into the kiss, her body heated and wound up but tonight wasn’t about her and she found herself happily kissing him until he pulls away.

“Thank you.” He whispers before rolling them over so he could hover above her. His eyes are soft when he looks down at her and she smiles softly.

“You don’t need to thank me.” She drags her nails through the hair at the back of his neck and he shivered against her. For a moment everything is slow and gentle and then he kisses her again. This time it’s harder, his tongue prying her lips apart and swallowing down her soft moan before he starts to kiss down her neck.

“Now it’s your turn.” He mumbles somewhere near her collarbone and when his teeth sink into it she gasps at the pain. She smiles when she looks down at him, her teeth digging into her bottom lip and then he’s ripping her underwear off her hips.

It was going to be a good night.

[hana-bobo-finch]

It is time for the rambling I have been ominously foreshadowing!! Hyperfixation yapping under the cut, you have been warned!!! I’m really sorry for all this, once the floodgates are opened I’m never gonna be able to shut up

Yeah that’s right it’s time to expose everything. Let us begin with an exposition-filled history lesson! September 29th, 2017. Around 7 years ago now. On this day, the first pages of a pokemon fan comic were posted to tumblr, and to deviantart—keep this tucked away in the back of your mind, this will be somewhat important later on.

This comic followed not the canon of the games, but of the anime. And I hate the anime with a burning passion—well, pre-season 26 anyway, but that’s besides the point. This comic, however, focused much more heavily on team rocket and their backstories, sort of as a way to fill in the gaps and such that the show never explained, which is something I don’t hate thaaaat much (in fact such things are a huge inside joke between me and my friends) sooooo yea

Now DO NOT WORRY!! you have to know absolutely nothing about pokemon to understand what I’m about to start yapping about! In fact, I myself tend to actually forget it’s a pokemon fan comic, it’s become so much more to me. But we will get to that later on. Point is, it’s not important to know the ins and outs of the context behind the comic itself. All you need to do is bear with me as I attempt to explain everything and why I am so insane

Back to the comic though!!! It’s title is Roots!!! Hence the weird-ass bug fables dialogue I posted to foreshadow all this. heehehehee yeeeees roots my beloved. It was all posted on a now-deactivated tumblr account (again, keep this tucked away in the back of your head) and was posted from, as I said previously, September 29th, 2017, to December 15th, 2018, spanning 167 pages. It was relatively popular at the time I think? It’s bit hard to say but it peaked at around 400-500 notes at the highest and averaged around 75 notes per update—at least on tumblr, I can’t speak to how popular it was on deviantart

ANYWAY the actual story or quality of the comic isn’t really important to this rambling. I mean yeah I have some VERY strong opinions on it, both good and bad (THERE IS ONE CHARACTER WHO I WOULD KILL. I WOULD CURB STOMP HER SHE MAKES ME SO ANGRY SHE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY AND SHE’S WRITTEN SO TERRIBLY. SHE’S NOT THAT BAD IN CANON I THINK BUT IN ROOTS I WOULD SLAP HER. I WOULD SLAP HER SO MUCH. I LIKE CHARACTERS WHO WERE MEANT TO BE TOTAL ASSHOLES MORE THAN HER), and if I could make a 100 page essay digging into every last detail of it, down to the most minuscule details that do not matter in the slightest, I would, but that’s not really what this is about. It’s not necessary to explain the plot, and. Um. Admittedly, despite roots being my number one top hyperfixation for almost a year now I doooooonnnn’tttt really know how well I understand the plot. THERE IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION THERE IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION, I READ A LOT OF IT OUT OF ORDER AND WAS MISSING A LOTTA IMPORTANT CONTEXT WITHOUT REALIZING IT!! I AM NOT A FAKE FAN IM JUST STUPID BUT UH point is it’s not really important. What is important, above all else, are the characters!!!

Being a fan-comic, a vast majority of the characters are preexisting characters from canon. And therefore a lotta the characters I’m not all too attached to. There are, however, a couple of original characters thrown into the mix to either fill in gaps or to move the story along. And I love them. Like actually love them so much. Frankly they’re my favorite part of it they are SO funny and perfect and yeah. I will immediately forgive any shortcomings in the story itself when I remember that THE CHARACTERS EXIST, OOOOOOO I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUUUUUCHHHUHhh. I want to yap about them all so much but I don’t have the time actually no screw it I am unable to stop talking, I swear I’ll make this quick tho

ok ok ok comin in at number 3 is my girl belle. she does nothing. seriously she is just there as a plot device and then she immediately disappears but I love her. she is constantly apathetic and pissed off at everyone and is just there for easy money. she is a mood. She’s also a horrible fucking person, so that’s an automatic plus in my eyes. what a queen (SHE’S NOT A QUEEN SHE IS ACTUALLY SO HORRIBLE) (ACTUALLY NO I’M DOUBLING DOWN. WHAT A QUEEN)

comin in at number 2 is KURT!!! uhhhhhhhhhh dude I dunno lmao I just think he’s neat he’s a pathetic creature and everyone is so mean to him for no reason. he was the target of ABLEIST HARASSMENT from the WORST CHARACTER. kurt deserves the world. he wears suspenders! And, surprisingly, he is Not A Horrible Person. most of my favorite characters are (yall should know this by now, my pfp is Louie) so he is unique in that regard

comin in at number one is of course the man the myth the legend pumpkin daddy. That is not his real name but that leads us to the next point. I will GET TO HIM LATER even if just briefly, he deserves his own paragraph because pumpkin daddy was the start of this all as you will now see:

Fast forward in time to July 15th, 2022. At the time had no idea that this comic existed, which makes sense. I’ve never been a huge fanfic reader nor did I have a tumblr account then, so really I had no way of knowing of its existence. But that would soon change!!! It was the last day of vacation, and instead of taking full advantage and enjoying the last remaining day I had, I was instead doing who knows what. Nah really I dunno what I was doing. Clearly I was doing…something, probably falling down some rabbit hole of random content, because I ended up stumbling across, you guessed it, Roots. Now, as I mentioned before, the original poster’s account was deactivated—same with their deviantart. Buuuuut thankfully with the way tumblr works, reblogs of posts still exist even when the original poster deactivates. So even though it was almost completely wiped, the reblogs remained. And so on that fateful day, I stumbled upon a reblog of this comic. One specific page to be exact. Just one very out of context page. And admittedly I thought nothing of it. Yeah I didn’t have some grand fascination or anything when I first stumbled across it I just saw it and thought “huh ok” and moved on. There was however one small detail that caught my attention. It only caught my attention for like a second but it was long enough to be ingrained into my memory. And for my little peanut sized monkey brain to manage to find it funny

As you will remember from what I wrote previously, while most of the characters were preexisting characters from canon, ones I could recognize easily, there was one character in this specific page I was looking at that I did Not Recognize because he was one of the original characters made to fill gaps in the plot! More specifically it was the back of his head! And nothing else! So I had no clue who this fella was! But what I DID know his that he looked like a DAMN PUMPKIN!!!!!

AHAHAHAH SEE!!!! HE LOOKS LIKE A PUMPKIN !!! SORTA!!! and I found that funny so I dubbed this mysterious figure “pumpkin daddy.” And then I stopped caring about it all immediately after. I mean sure I would occasionally remember pumpkin daddy and giggle a bit at the weird-ass pumpkin lookin’ guy, in fact I developed some lore in my head for the guy, but I couldn’t care less about the actual context behind all of it.

Fast forward once again to August of last year, 2023. By that point I’d read some fanfic, mostly to try to find the weirdest and most obscure i could, as I found those sort of fics incredibly fun (hell, me and my brother still reference some of them sometimes). looking back it’s unsurprising im such a sucker for writing crack/joke fics but anYWAY that’s useless exposition, what I’m getting at is that I absolutely adore obscure fanfics. they’re so awesome SO back to what I was saying, in August last year, I remembered pumpkin daddy’s existence. And I had the sudden thought, what the hell is up with pumpkin daddy anyway? So I figured, eh, what the heck, I’ll read the full tale of pumpkin daddy, sounds fun. Maybe I can find out the actual context behind that weird-ass pumpkin guy.

At the time I didn’t know the actual name of Roots, again I saw only a second of it and the only thing that stuck was the, as I called it verbatim, “weird pumpkin daddy” so I nicknamed it “pumpkin daddy’s book club.” I decided I would read it in October because eh, you know, pumpkins, spooky, Halloween, whatever. And so it was settled, I would find the actual comic behind this weird pumpkin daddy, and come October, I would read it. I thought nothing of it. I thought it’d take me what, a week tops, to read it all?

I was incredibly wrong in that assessment! Spoiler alert, it has been almost a full year since I started reading Roots, and I’m still not fully finished with it! You will understand why it has taken so long shortly.

So!!! I eventually combed through old tumblr blogs for hours so I could scrape up all of the pages through reblogs. It was torturous but I did manage to get all the pages of it. At least I thought so!!! I must interrupt this riveting story to mention that I was, unfortunately, mistaken in the assumption that the pages were all there. I was positive I had gotten all the pages, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that I DID NOT!!! I most definitely did not, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize I was wrong. If you’ll think back, I mentioned before that Roots wasn’t just posted on tumblr, but also on deviantart. A completely dead deviantart account, no archives that I could find, nothing. That comes into play because I didn’t realize at the time that, in reality, not all of the pages were posted to tumblr. There were quite a few pages that were only on deviantart for whatever reason. The deviantart was linked in the tumblr posts, but it all lead to a dead end. I didn’t realize this for, like I said, an awfully long time, especially considering just how much of an expert I touted myself (and still tout myself but perhaps this time with more merit) to be on Roots. The thing is I was desperate not to spoil anything while finding the pages initially, I was spending hours copying and pasting them into a document, I wasn’t paying attention to see if any of the posts said “the rest of this chapter is on deviantart.” How I never realized there were gaps in the story…? Chalk it up to naivety, or more accurately stupidity, I just thought it was bad writing. Oh, this plot point was never explained? How weird. Yeah it was explained actually genius!! Looking back my logic makes zero sense but eh you live and you learn. But essentially, there were quite a few pages that were, thanks to only being posted to the now-dead deviantart, completely lost media!!! Yippee!!! I will get back to this point later, but for now:

October 3rd 2023, I started reading Roots, and I’ll be honest I expected it to be absolutely horrible!! I was NOT optimistic because from the little I knew about it, it did NOT seem like my kind of story!!! Spoiler alert though, I was wrong!!! Very wrong!!! I immediately had a grand old time reading it and I spent like the next hour or two reading and analyzing the first couple pages. Like REALLY analyzing them down to the smallest of details.

And this is where an important cutoff happens, probably the most important part of all of this in fact, so pay attention!!! Aaaaa the difference between pumpkin daddy’s book club—or as I’d begun to abbreviate it, PDBC—and Roots.

What’s the difference, you may be wondering, they both refer to the same comic, don’t they? Technically that’s true but to try to explain it the best I can, PDBC was “my version,” while roots was the “actual version.” So what the hell does that mean? The prime example of that concept is pumpkin daddy himself—obviously that’s not his real name. He’s not a pumpkin. Nothing of what I assigned to “pumpkin daddy” was true of the actual character. But he was technically still that original character, just twisted beyond belief until he’s something totally different. So, essentially, pumpkin daddy was “my version” of the actual character. Get it? Probably not, but pretend you do and now picture that on a much wider scale. Everything in roots I had my own version of, the “PDBC version.” Every place, character, every slightest detail I would take and change until it was something completely different. Yall remember the briar zome? I was talking about it the other day. You probably will not be surprised the learn that there is nothing of the sort, no weird eyeball creatures, in roots. That is a pumpkin daddy thing.

I. Uh. tried to make a visual example but I think I just made it more confusing

So like. PDBC is just a horribly misshapen version of roots. technically they’re the same thing but at the same time they’re so different by a certain point that they’re not, you know? I’m not making sense lmao UH BUT YEAH it’s like. That. Tldr:

Roots and PDBC are NOT the same thing, Roots is the actual comic while PDBC is my goofy nonsense loosely based on it. When I say roots I am strictly talking about the actual comic, when I say PDBC I am strictly talking about. Well. PDBC.

Understood? Probably not!!! But screw it yall think I came here to make sense?? I’m here to just talk about things NOBODY cares about!!! YAYYYYY

So, this lasted for months. I’d read a page or two when I got the chance (you must understand I was not just READING it I was STUDYING it. Every last word and brush stroke. This is not a hobby this is a LIFESTYLE) and whilst doing so I’d use that time to develop my own version—which eventually became so different and so fun to write that I genuinely considered changing some aspects and working it into my own story. Which I probably could’ve, really—by the second month, my version was so vastly different that I sometimes forgot that things that happened in my version Did Not Happen in the actual story. Buuuut the problem was, the characters. While everything else could be, and had been, changed in my version, those original characters created for the fic were so integral to my version that even just changing their name would ruin it. And if there’s one thing I cannot do for the life of me, it’s take something that’s not mine as my own. Even if it’s just random-ass characters from a fic from 7 years ago. So I dropped the idea. Pumpkin daddy’s book club would never really come to fruition.

And I will INTERRUPT before we get to the next part of this in order to go on a tirade how much this damn comic means to me ok??? ok!!! I do not think simply going over the basic timeline of how I stumbled across Roots does it justice, I really gotta get into how much it truly means to me. This is not just a random thing I did a deep dive into this is a HYPERFIXATION. It means the WORLD to me yall have no idea. Spending the day outside reading it while simultaneously making my own story was (and still is) my favorite thing to do, like ever. And tbh at a certain point just how much happiness it brings me overrides any sense of embarrassment that this obscure comic of all things is my number one favorite thing ever. I love roots so much ok ok I mean ok listen first of all it got me out of the constant loop of being afraid of being perceived as “cringe.” At a certain point I was having too much fun writing fanfic of a fanfic and I just totally let go of any kind of internalized judgement for doing what I find fun and that was SO FREEING!!! I won’t even say that I am cringe but I am free because I’m NOT CRINGE, I’m just free!!! There is no such thing as cringe and this comic helped me realize this, because I avoided any fanfic like the plague for the longest time but then there I was having the time of my life reading one with zero regrets. Is it always perfect? no. are there parts I don’t like? yeah (COUGH COUGH THE ROMANTIC SUBPLOTS BUT THATS JUST BC I’M AROMANTIC (ALSO THAT ONE CHARACTER BUT SHE MIGHT BE REDEEMABLE I DONT KNOW BUT I ALREADY AM TOO PISSED AT HER TO EVER CARE IF I WAS MISSING IMPORTANT CONTEXT BEFOREHAND). But is it my favorite thing ever and I love it with all my heart and I always will? YEAH!!! I LOVE ROOTS/PDBC YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! it also got me back into making comics because I actually stopped genuinely working on any for a long time because I was so caught up in perfectionism and fear of being genuine in my work. But roots cured that fear of mine too!!! And now I love making comics again!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Insanity over back to what I was saying. This lasted until March of this year. Why it took so long, I ended up spending more time developing my own story than reading the actual one. Yeah uh. My version, PDBC, is a heck of a lot longer and more complicated than Roots itself at this point (theres this one whole-ass time/interdimensional theory I had to come up with just so I could make a canon explanation for a joke that I wanted to make that wouldn’t otherwise make logical sense, it is safe to say that PDBC has strayed very far from its, pardon my pun, roots) Anywaayyyyys going back to December, that’s when I realized I was missing pages—about 25 (ermm actually I found out the last 7 were missing in December, I realized a whole bunch of others were missing in early May) Obviously I was pissed off that I had spent so much time trying to gather all of it up only to realize I was missing so much of it but I gave up even attempting to find them pretty quickly.

A couple months later though, in March, I thought back to those pages. I realized just how much of roots was still a total mystery to me. The author disappeared from the internet, it seemed nobody cared to ever find those pages that were lost media—there was one Reddit thread acknowledging their existence but I don’t believe anyone ever took the time to actually find the missing pages, and if they did they didn’t archive them, at least not that I’m aware of. Could be wrong on that—and in general it was just…fascinating to me. So, with no more pages to read, I set out to uncover what the hell was up with roots, and above all else, perhaps find the missing pages (though I wasn’t very optimistic about that. like. At all. I was convinced it completely impossible)

Thankfully I had a couple of ideas on where to start. There were a couple tumblr accounts tagged in the final chapter of roots credited as helping in some way. A lot either inactive or completely deactivated, but it was a start.. I was determined above all else to get those final pages, if not just any sort of information on roots as a whole. I wasn’t particularly interested in finding the author—I mean, I think digging that deep into someone who I knew nothing about was creepy at best, so I didn’t bother looking into that.

I started with someone who would definitely be my best help. They had all the pages, at least did at a time. I knew that for a fact. But alas my luck was already out, as they were completely inactive, and had been for years. I sent a message nonetheless but I of course never got a response.

My next attempt was a bit more successful. The next person I asked responded, but they didn’t know anything. I stopped trying for a few weeks due to just general life stuff going on, I really didn’t have the energy to worry about all that. And frankly I had just given up, it all seemed pretty impossible. But I eventually pulled myself together and vowed to keep trying.

So I sent off three more messages to people who might have information. One of them never responded (once again, that account was mostly inactive), two of them did. The first to respond didn’t have the pages—they echoed my sentiment of the pages being seemingly lost to time. They did, however, point me towards the original author’s instagram.

I will not pretend that I was normal about this at all!!! I was freaking tf out, I’ll be honest. Half out of excitement that I could actually figure something out, half out of OH FUCK OH FUCK I DONT WANT TO BOTHER THIS PERSON TO ASK ABOUT SOME COMIC FROM 7 YEARS AGO OH NO NO

I did eventually calm down enough to think rationally and despite my crushing anxiety I decided that I’d worked too hard to give up the second I had an actual lead. I spent the next couple days preparing myself mentally—and reading the author’s current work, which is actually REALLY really good like dang I immediately became invested in it—and I eventually sent off a message. A message filled with barely disguised fangirling and incessant apologizing for being annoying but uh. It was a message! And wouldn’t you know it by some miracle I got a response back

NOOOW aside from the basic art and writing advice they gave me and other such words of wisdom that I will forever cherish, the most important things that happened during that correspondence was that, for whatever reason, the original creator gave me full permission to do whatever I wanted with the characters they made for roots. This came totally out of left field, I didn’t think I implied in the slightest that I desperately wanted full ownership of their characters (though deep down I did) and yet when I mentioned how much I liked the characters they were just like “oh yeah you can use them, do whatever you want with them theyre all yours.” I was BEYOND ecstatic (putting it mildly, I nearly broke my headphones when I read the message because I tripped and dropped them into a deep mud puddle out of shock lmao). The only thing that was stopping me from writing my version in full was that I couldn’t change the characters, and in an instant, without even asking, I got full permission to do whatever I wanted. With their full support, too, they were glad that someone was giving their old characters a fresh start. Which is completely insane to me??? But I’m not complaining I am incredibly happy about it to this day and I am the proud “owner” of these silly little characters and I can do whatever I want with them heehehehoohoo I have infinite power

But back to the main point, they did send me all of the missing pages. There were 25 I believe. And so finally, after months of trying, I had gotten all of the pages. They all are in one file so now I don’t have to scroll for hours through defunct tumblr blogs to scrounge them all up. And look I know it’s such a small thing and really nobody cares about it but I am SO PROUD of myself for finding the lost pages, I love lost media stories so much and it is SO cool to me that I managed to find some lost media, even if it was only partially lost and nobody else was looking for it. It’s cool to ME and that’s all that matters, this is my crowning achievement in life. At least I think I’m the only one who ever cared enough to find them, you never know. I don’t actually know if anyone is looking for the lost pages actually, I feel like it’s all been pretty forgotten about which is a shame. But nevertheless if somehow someone out there is ever looking for the entirety of Roots, then I will be hailed as a lost media HERO and I will be expecting a 5 hour youtube documentary with spooky music in the background in my honor. The whole process of finding the lost pages was a lot more complicated than that, but I’m talking enough already, you do noooot need to hear about the real big steaks, shrek 2, the pikmin 2 boss intro theme, all that good stuff.

So! Pikmin!!! yup this actually ties into pikmin stuff. During the time I was trying to get the missing pages, I passed the time by playing pikmin!!! That’s actually how I got into pikmin, I probably wouldn’t have played it otherwise. So without roots I would not be the pikmin-obsessed fool I am today. And therefore I wouldn’t even have this blog. Which, fun fact, I also started solely to pass the time while waiting to find the pages! There’s some more lore behind this blog heehehehehehe. Pumpkin daddy. His name is not actually pumpkin daddy. Obviously. His actual name is Finch!!! Woah!!! sounds familiar doesn’t it??? Wonder where you’ve heard that before!!!

This blogs mere existence, not just my posts to it, is actually thanks to roots as well. Yeeees it’s Hana bobo finch lore time!! I believe I’ve mentioned in the past that this blog’s name is based on a dream I had—and if I didn’t well, yeah, this blog’s name is based on a dream I had. To be more specific, this blog’s grand origin story is that back in December I dreamt that there was a conspiracy theory called the “Hana bobo finch” conspiracy. I remember nothing more about it except for the name and that, in my dream, there was a huge online discussion on this conspiracy. And so, finding the dream to be funny, I recreated what one of the conspiracy pages in my dream looked like to the best of my abilities. And I actually

I have a screenshot of it from the time so here it is

yyyup this was this here blog right after its creation. Don’t ask about the spider monkey pfp that’s a long story and this is long enough already. I still haven’t remembered what the Hana bobo finch conspiracy actually meant in my dream. Maybe the real conspiracy was the friends we made along the way

Also as I said before pumpkin daddy is my favorite character and holy crap could I go into a whole new rant about pumpkin daddy aka finch but I will spare you. You will be thankful that I am sparing you he is SO funny like he’s my favorite character ever he’s such an asshole LMAO he sucks so bad and he’s so funny for no reason I just oughhh yall got no idea you all have no idea ooooooo he is such a terrible person but he does it in the funniest way possible and I truly just can not explain any of it. I believe the best way I can summarize him without making this more confusing than it already is, is that while talking with the author I made them a comic where ol’ pumpkin daddy aka finch gets so fucking mad that nobody wants to come to his cookouts because his cooking sucks that he plans to (assumedly) kill everyone, and the author themself said it was remarkably in character. so. do with that what you will FINCH MY BELOVED OOOUGHHHH. FFINCG UUGHH LOVE HIM

So what’s the point in this entire rant? It is quite simple:

1: I really want to yap

2: I will moooooost likely be yapping abt PDBC soon cause I love it w aaaaall my heart, but it’s real hard to explain it without thousands of words of the backstory to it. soooo yup, here is the backstory. You may or may not be bombarded with PDBC stuff soon. We will see if I have the guts to do so but I’ve already posted abt some of my ocs so…why not post about everything? (OMINOUS) (THIS IS A WARNING) (IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO ENCOURAGE ME I’M ABOUT TO NEVER STOP TALKING)

n e wayz here’s the FUNNIEST FUCKING PANEL from all 167 pages of Roots (and fun fact, one of the ones that was almost lost media! Can’t believe this masterpiece almost was lost to time smh

HE’S SIZZLING SOMEONE GET HIM DOWN‼️

AHAHAHA YEAHhhhhHHHH THAT RIGHT THERE IS PUMPKIN DADDY UP THERE EHEHEHEHEH don’t let him down he’s a menace to society

I love this comic so fuckin much I have so much fun reading it and it inspired me to make my own goofy little comics and stuff (UNSURPRISINGLY IT INSPIRED ME TO MAKE HORN STROBE) and it is so funny I quote it so much you have no idea (UNSURPRISINGLY I HAVE QUOTED IT ONCE IN HORN STROBE) and ooooughh guys. Guys this is what you are signing up for when you are my mutual. This is what you have to put up with. I have so much more I could say but I am actively restraining myself because I realize that nobody wants to read 4.5k+ words of this nonsense (tho if you have reached this point you already have, congratulations). though I will still in the future yap about PDBC because I have not spent the past almost full year now making some stupid little story just for me to not yap about it in any way, alright? I can do whatever I want with the characters I’m not gonna squander this opportunity oooooooooouyghhn guys please ask me about this stuff I need to talk I need to talk I need to talk guys at least pretend to care so I can talk just a little bit I need to be insane on main guys please. GUYS PLEASE. roots my beloved roots my beloved roots my beloved I’m probably not making sense roots my beloved I love roots so much

[bluhourz]

when he sees you again

-

It's been about four months since you and Beomgyu have broken up. You thought you would be okay, that the pain and heartache would pass. Well, at least sooner or later. But, here you are. It's 02:32 in the morning, and you were outside trying to keep yourself together. Around you, the snow was falling, slowly filling up the space. The two of you would always meet at this place, a quiet, not so busy spot along the Han River. Usually, no one would be here, and the two of you could be a 'normal' couple without worrying about fans seeing or bothering you. But now, you were all alone.

You stared out at the water, going through that day's event from the start. You were fighting about something, you can't even remember anymore. Both of you were screaming. You were crying. Somehow, somewhere, the two of you ended up deciding to break up. You can't remember who suggested it first, but both of you agreed it would be for the best. You could still see the broken expression on his face. It made your heart physically hurt.

You haven't spoken to him since that night. Soobin updated you every now and then when the two of you chatted about how he was doing, knowing you burned to ask but didn't want to overstep the boundaries. It sounds like he was doing fine, though. Deep down, you were mad at that. How could he be this okay after what had happened? Did he not love you? Did he not care?

You were so deep in thought you didn't hear the crunch of someone's feet behind you.

Beomgyu recognised you instantly as he walked closer. His heart started beating uncontrollably in his chest. Without even thinking, he took off his coat, draping it around your shoulders as he reached your figure. You jumped at the contact, instantly turning around. The moment your eyes met, it felt like the world came to a standstill. At first, neither of you spoke. You were trying to keep calm while also trying to read his face. He kept his gaze firmly on your eyes, trying to gauge how you felt as well.

"It's cold," he broke the silence first, motioning to his jacket.

"Thanks," you managed to get out.

You turned around quickly, feeling the tears threatening to spill. You didn't want him to see how much you were actually hurting.

Beomgyu stared at you for a few seconds longer before he came to stand next to you, also staring out at the water.

The silence was thick, both of you staying quiet now. Thoughts filled your mind. Why was he here? Did he feel the same way you did? Was he eating? Was he resting enough? Why did he give his jacket to you?

"Have you been doing well?" once again, Beomgyu broke the quiet atmosphere.

At first you didn't want to speak. You didn't know if you should give an honest answer or not. Finally, you forced out a small 'no'. Not turning your head, you whispered, "and you?"

"No," his voice was low, and he answered without hesitating.

Silence took over again. You stood next to each other, each lost in their own thoughts. After a while, Beomgyu let out a heavy sigh.

"You're in my head, even when you're not supposed to be. It shouldn't be this hard to let you go."

"You're telling me," you let out a bitter laugh.

"You know, I really fucking miss you. I think we made a massive mistake. I've been struggling. I mess up during practice. I can't focus. I haven't been able to write lyrics since I've lost you," his voice started wavering at the end.

As he finished his speech, you turned to face each other. You didn't even realise tears have started streaming down your face until his hand reached up to brush your cheek.

"I miss you too," you started crying.

Beomgyu instantly pulled you into him, crying too as he felt your body against him for the first time in so long. The soft snow kept falling as you both clutched each other.

[nerves-nebula]

The terrifying ordeal of seeing your abusive parent again after having finally escaped them: Mikey Edition

——

Mikey was never the perfect ninja. He didn’t really want to be. Ninjutsu was fun, but the only practical use he had for it anymore was evading the cops if he got spotted tagging.

And, apparently, this.

He dropped down into a tunnel that felt much smaller than it used to be. Despite the years that had passed, he still knew the tunnels, the way into a place he never thought he’d be back to.

He never would’ve returned without reason.

This was a good reason.

The other day, Donnie idly mentioned some old computer bits he’d had when they were kids that he’d tinkered with. He mentioned he had some old photos of them stored on there he wish he could get back.

Raph had laughed and made a joke about if they ever got those photos back he’d learn scrapbooking and make the cheesiest, most ridiculous scrapbook he could for them.

How could he not come down?

Usually Leo would do this. Leo was the only one who still talked to the old rat, the only one who still visited, and even those were getting rarer.

Leo was off meeting Usagi’s family.

Meaning Mikey would do it.

Could he technically wait a week or so before asking Leo when he got back? Sure.

But that meant waiting.

Mikey hated waiting.

So here he was, putting all of his ninja training to use to sneak back into his childhood home (yuck) and grab some of Donnie’s old stuff to bring home.

He could totally do this.

Getting in wasn’t hard. The rat hadn’t updated any of Donnie’s old security, so it was a breeze to slip in. He skirted the edge of the lair in the shadows, keeping an ear out for any signs of movement.

He made sure to get to the entrance closest to Donnie’s old room and slipped in.

“Fucking hell.”

The place was trashed.

The old mattress was shredded in some placed, the desk toppled over and broken. Donnie’s old LED strips were torn at and his posters all ripped from the walls. Dust settled over all the wreckage. He could see a couple footsteps in them, all very obviously Leo’s. He followed them, ducking next to the busted desk, looking to see if he could salvage anything from there, but it seemed Leo had gotten it all.

Which meant he had to go looking for one of Donnie’s hiding places.

God damn it.

Okay, he remembered Donnie mentioning a lock box hidden in the back of his old closet, which was thankfully still upright. He dug through that, nearly gagging at the smell of mildew and dust that had built up over the years. He regretted not bringing his respirator.

He was taking so many vitamins when he got home.

He grinned to himself when he found the box, hidden in a secret panel near the back. He only found it because he accidentally leaned on it too much and fractured the wood, but Donnie didn’t have to know that.

He looked around the room again, wanting to be thorough so he wouldn’t have to come back.

Oh! The ceiling. Donnie said once he’d managed to hollow out a panel up there to hide things. Heck, he’d even hidden a couple things up there for all of them before.

If he remembered correctly…

He grabbed an old metal stool and clambered up to push against the stone. He barely restrained himself from shouting in victory when the piece moved and he was able to slide it from its place and retrieve everything inside.

He piled it all in his backpack, tucking it carefully so it would make as little noise as possible.

He went back to the bed, where the last hiding spot was, but found nothing. Leo or the rat must’ve found it.

Two out of three wasn’t bad.

He slid his backpack on and tightened the straps, sneaking to the entrance of the room, steadying his breath to check for-

“I know you are there.”

The voice cracked when it spoke, but it was the same.

A thin hand slid between the curtains that had been Donnie’s door, “Your skills are getting sloppy, Leona-“ The snout peaked through and black eyes that bore into his soul like the poisonous insect they inhabited.

“Michelangelo.”

He couldn’t help himself.

He laughed.

Well, it was more of a snort than a laugh, but still.

Mikey shoved the curtain open, shouldering his way past the rat as he did, taking advantage of Splinter’s momentary disbelief to prevent himself from being cornered.

“Shocked you remember my name, old man.” He said as he pushed past, resisting the urge to step on his tail.

Violence begets violence, Doctor Bright had said. If he instigates then Splinter has the right to defend.

“Why would I not?”

He laughed again, this time more of a snicker, “Don’t play dumb, you barely ever called me anything other than ‘Orange’ as a kid. I figured you’d finally gone senile or got dementia and forgotten entirely.” He shrugged, turning to walk backwards so he wasn’t letting Splinter get behind him.

“Why did you return?”

“Taking Donnie’s things back.” He adjusted his bag.

“Where is Leonardo?”

Mikey shrugged, “I think he died. Though, maybe he’s just on vacation. Oh, no, wait, he got arrested and is serving time. That’s it.”

Splinter rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth, “Your lies are annoying, child.”

“I’m twenty-three.”

“And yet you still act like a child.” Splinter hissed at him, “You intrude back into my home and refuse to even speak with me?”

“This is me speaking. I’m saying words that are audible and you can hear.”

Splinter’s anger grew more evident on his face, “I do not need your sass, child.”

“Not a child.”

“Where have you boys been? Do you know how worried I’ve been? You disappear suddenly one day and never return!” Splinter threw his hands in the air, getting more animated as the conversation went on, “You could be dead and your father would never know!”

Mikey shrugged, “I mean, that was sorta the plan.” He quickly glanced around, taking note of potential exits. He should be almost at the tunnel leading out of the lair by now, he just had to keep Splinter distracted.

“How dare you?” Splinter slammed the end of his cane into the ground, “I raised you! I gave you four the best years of my life and this is how you repay me?”

“Would you prefer a check?”

“At least Leonardo still visits me! At least I did right by one of you ungrateful little brats.”

Mikey hummed, his foot finding the lip of the tunnel entrance, “Yep. That’s me.” He took a few extra steps back, “Ungrateful and a brat. Not so little anymore, though.” He smiled, “Well, it’s been terrible to see you again, but I gotta go-“

“Stop right there!”

Perhaps it was the tone Splinter used, the same that used to scream at him for being destructive. Maybe it was the boiling rage in his eyes that Mikey still saw in his worst nightmares. Or perhaps it was the way he held himself, adjusting his feet like he was ready to pounce, to attack.

Maybe it was all three.

Whatever the reason, Mikey froze. His left foot wasn’t even properly touching the floor, his right arm slightly outstretched where it had been reaching for the wall. His breath caught in his throat and for a moment he thought he might vomit.

Splinter was speaking.

“You were always a disappointment! How you’ve even managed to survive this long is a miracle. How many drugs are you on? I can practically see you shaking. You better not be burdening Leonardo with your incapabilities.”

Something was building in his chest. He could feel it growing with every word Splinter spat at him, a pressure that pushed against his plastron from within, filling his lungs with something he couldn’t quite describe.

“I paint dead rats for a living.” He wasn’t even aware of his mouth moving, “My last commission paid out five hundred dollars.”

Why was he sharing this?

Even his brothers didn’t know about that painting.

“Wh-what? Who would but such a-“

He didn’t know why he said it.

“Draxum.”

—

Donnie looked up as the apartment door slammed open, Mikey bursting through singing Fearless Hero from Puss in Boots.

“I wonder if Mikey’s home.” Raph hummed, turning a page in his book.

“M-maybe.” Donnie shrugged, “Could be a b-burglar.”

Mikey slumped over the back of the couch, “Why do you guys never sing with me?” He groaned dramatically, “I wish I had brothers who loved me.”

“Have you t-tried Craigslist?”

Mikey huffed and wiggled out of his backpack, dropping it onto the couch to dig through it, “And after all I went through today, just to make you happy!”

Donnie and Raph immediately turned to him, curious.

“I went on a terrible and dangerous quest to make my favorite brothers happy and I’m rewarded with only pain and hate.”

Donnie chuckled, “Mikey, c-come on. Show us.”

He pulled his spoils from the bag, grinning as Raph and Donnie’s faces showed their amazement at his finds.

“Dude!” Raph grabbed the ceiling box and dug through it, “Holy shit, look at all this old junk. Ah! My old Polly Pockets! I forgot about these.” He grabbed the dolls, laughing as he carefully picked out the dusting accessories, “Oh my gosh.”

“M-Mikey!” Donnie sorted through the closet box, beaming wide enough that his cheeks hurt, “These are the f-files I mentioned. I have to see if they’re salvageable.” He practically scrambled off the couch, hurrying off to his room with the box in his arms.

Raph rubbed Mikey’s head, his trimmed claws scratching gently over his scalp, “This is great, Mike. You okay, though?”

“Hm?”

Raph just raised a brow.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Rat wasn’t home.” He lied, looking away from Raph to dig through his backpack, “Just grabbed it and got out, no problem.”

He didn’t know if Raph believed him, but he went back to his book, so he was probably in the clear.

He grabbed his phone, humming as he scrolled through his notifications, smiling at a picture Leo had sent into their group chat of her and Usagi posing with some daruma dolls.

Leo👏nerd👏o: usa made some gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass wish 2 b happy or sum shit

Leo👏nerd👏o: my wish is 2 bang his mom 🥴

Mikey snorted.

👾Mad Scientist Supreme👾: Pics or it didn’t happen.

Leo👏nerd👏o: bet

“Hey, speaking of moms in a weird roundabout way.” Mikey piped up, getting Raph’s attention, “When’s the last time you saw Draxum?”

Raph frowned, entirely confused, “Uh… fuck, man, ages ago. I think I saw him a while back while shopping but I didn’t go say hi or anything. Why?”

Mikey shrugged, “Just thought about him while at the lair.”

“When’s the last you saw him?”

He shrugged again, “Probably before the farmhouse arc. Canon events aren’t set in stone. Not recently, though.”

—

The scrapbook came out fantastic. They left pages in the back untouched to add to later for milestones in their lives.

——

Was Mikey lying about his commission?

Was Mikey lying to Raph about seeing Draxum?

You decide!

- Monster Anon 🐗🐗🐗

Love him referring to splinter as “the rat” hahahfdshag. Thats such an abused kid thing to do. Funny you mention polly pockets because i just watched a youtube video about the history of polly pocket :) mikey is such a fun guy thank you fhasdugha

[clarisinne]

i LOOOVE your work (proud patron hehe <3) and characterization of harvey soso much. so i'm not trying to beat a dead horse or smth but...... even if you (hypothetically) only made nsfw from now on... it's not selling out if you enjoy it..? so bc THEY don't like the content, YOU sold out, uh. can we bring back just. not preferring or disliking something instead of immediately beating artists over the head bc you don't like the direction and/or an aspect of their artwork?????? also i can't remember but someone said something about how slow you put stuff out i think??? WHAT THE FUCK that's how you know they're one of those ppl who see artists not as people but as content creator corporate machines who live to serve them. it's so gross i hate it fuck them.

ANYWAY END RANT LOVE YOUR ART LOVE CRINGEFAIL!!! :3

Hi dear <3 thank you so much and THANK YOU for subbing to my Patreon I appreciate it so so much!!!!

I agree with you what can I say! To think that if content doesn't cater to you anymore then the artist is selling out is just wrong lol it's particularly funny to me because.. like, my approach to nsfw is that it's never supposed to gratuitous, it's always supposed to explore their overall dynamic and relationship? I always try to make it feel intimate and wholesome, because that's what makes sense for them

The thing about being slow i think is sortaaa my fault because I used to put out comic updates really fast, like once a day, but I did it because I had a shit ton of parts ready (I think when I started posting I had around 29 tiktoks ready) and I did it so I could grow as quickly as possible to get playlists, but when I was caught up it quickly became draw comic-> post it 10 minutes after it's done so posting everyday became unfeasible :( i do hope one day I will be able to have more comic updates ready but that would require for me to take a break of some sort

[onboardsorasora]

Tennis AU anyone?

I took a break from writing anything for the past week and my brain appreciated it because it started giving me cute ideas for these boys again :))) Sorry I took so long! This is inspired by my tags on this amazing post

Part 1 | Part 29 | Part 31

Part 30

Daniel walked across the desolate hospitality peppered with news crews giving updates even though it was ass o clock in the morning. They had been at the paddock all day. Literally all day. 20+ hours so far. Daniel felt like his brain was bordering mush. Manic was the only thing he knew. Delirium was up next.

Vegas had been great til this point. Amazing, truly. He'd had a few media commitments of his own, oddly enough. Someone somewhere found out about his love for the UFC and that turned into a whole thing where he was meeting Bruce Buffer and simulating a call up to the octagon. And then he got to spar with Max Holloway. It was surreal and kinda crazy and he was going to be in a video game ad???? 

The ‘opening ceremony’ had been weird and chaotic– very Vegas minus the party drugs. And overall, cold. Daniel burrowed deeper into his borrowed Alpha Tauri jacket. He hoped Pyry didn't need it back any time soon.

Max had said he could leave at 1am when the place was emptying out. But they didn't hadn't known when FP2 would actually start and he truly didn't want to leave Max all bored and alone for the whole time. It was more fun to pass the time together than Daniel trying to stay awake in their hotel room and texting Max who may or may not be napping or filming content.

Which brought him back here, he'd gone for a walk, leaving his boyfriend sprawled out on the tiny couch as he took a nap. Max needed it, because when the next practice session finally happens, he'd be in the car for ninety odd minutes. And if Daniel's brain was currently mush…he couldn't imagine having to actually focus on his job after this.

Daniel smiled and waved to Charles who was stood outside the Ferrari hospitality, chatting with Pierre. Carlos and Esteban were both fine thankfully, and the extra time was helping the teams fix the cars in time. Max had been pissed when he'd heard all that was going on. Daniel knew he said as much to the press but they truly hadn't seen the brunt of it. Not Max pacing the garage or his driver room, gesturing wildly and cursing loudly.

Either way, Daniel had been able to calm him down a bit. Surprisingly the little couch could withstand the pressure of two grown men fucking frantically on its shallow cushions. Daniel's thighs still burned a little from the impromptu exercise.

Fist bumping Genty and a few other mechanics, Daniel made his way back into the garage. He took a left down the little hallway and let himself quietly into Max's driver room. He expected to see his love still asleep, maybe. Or watching some endurance racing. 

He hadn't expected to see Max dressed up in a white race suit that looked like an Elvis costume… complete with gold belt and a red sparkly cape.

Daniel's jaw dropped in his surprise but that was quickly discarded for the loudest laugh he could ever remember making once he saw the sour look on Max's face. That was the only description of the surly pout that drew Max's cute face in.

Daniel couldn't even make it through the door before he was folded over gasping for breath. His body was wracked with those belly clenching laughs that sounded like painful spasms of a gasp. He couldn't get air into his lungs. This was how he was gonna die; on the floor in Vegas. Not in a hotel room, possibly overdosing on a good time. No he was gonna pass away from laughing so hard he suffocated.

Tell my mama I love her, because this is an unholy death.

“Daniel, you are being ridiculous, of course.” Max was unamused. Which was fine because Daniel was equally amused for the both of them.

“Maxy, you've killed me!” Daniel gasped in a ragged breath only to look up at his boyfriend again– he stood silently in the middle of the small room with his hands on his hips, the cape flared out. Daniel dissolved into helpless giggles once more. He bounced where he stood and clapped his hands. There were tears running down his face. Real tears. Max's pout only became more pronounced.

“You are overreacting, I think.” Max rolled his eyes before taking up some folded up dark fabric and chucking it at Daniel's head. That surprised him enough out of his giggles to be able to breathe and collect himself a little.

Daniel chuckled involuntarily and wiped at his eyes with the heels of his palms. His cheeks hurt, his chest hurt. He looked down at the fabric crumpled on the ground and raised his brow when he saw identical stars to Max's suit.

“Vicky figured you'd get a kick out of it. Had I known you would be killing yourself laughing, I would have told her not to bother, I think.” Max muttered, hands squarely on his hips again.

“Oh Maxy, don't be like that.” Daniel teased with a small grin. He unfolded the fabric to see that it was a black race suit, Oracle Red Bull Racing, with all the sponsors. The pattern was identical to Max's just opposite coloured complete with golden Elvis belt and glitter (because it wasn't an fia compliant race suite to be raced in). Daniel's mouth dropped open and he looked from Max's face to the suit in his hands a few times, before his eyes zeroed in on his name and flag on the hip.

He fingered the letters and swiped his thumb unconsciously over the southern cross of the flag. Sure he and Max had joked about putting him in one of Max's race suits, joked about roleplaying that Daniel was a racer even. But he truly hadn’t expected to get one of his own…with his name on it.

“You should try it on. So we match.” Max smiled at him softly and Daniel grinned back, finally stepping fully into the room and closing the door. 

Max helped him put on the race suit, complete with boots and matching fireproofs. The look Max gave him when he put that on was filed away for later. Daniel zipped up the black suit that fit him snugly and twisted and turned in the mirror– he looked good. It was surreal.

“C'mon, your laughing made us late.”

“Late for what?” They left the room together and Max flicked his cape at Daniel who cackled again. They walked into the garage, and everyone turned to look at them. Max rolled his eyes at the grins that formed on his mechanics’ faces. He was going to kill Vicky. Thankfully Checo walked out of his driver's room at the same time– in a red version of the suit, complete with white sparkly cape. That set Daniel off again, which set Micheal and Brad off and then everyone in the garage was giggling. The mutual delirium was peaking.

“Do I get a cape too?” Daniel fingered Checo's cape. A tuft of fabric hit him in the side of the head. He turned to flip Blake off, knowing it was him. The man's phone was up, no doubt taking more blackmail photos. 

The fabric opened to show a gold and black sparkly cape and Daniel eagerly put it on. He twirled this way and that before flicking his finger guns.

“Thank ya, thank ya very much.” He did in a poor imitation of Elvis’ accent. Checo giggled and Max snorted a laugh, Daniel counted it as a win.

They ended up having an impromptu photoshoot and Daniel got to live his race day dream for a little bit while Max was whisked away to do some more videos for tiktok. Daniel had kissed the scowl off of his lips. Daniel was chatting to Blake in a corner, race suit turned down at his waist like a sexy banana, when they heard that FP2 would be in an hour. That galvanized everyone into action with a sense of ‘work to be done’. Max shuffled back in quickly after that in his regular race suit and immediately went to stand with GP. Daniel and Blake watched it all happening around them like a factory production line.

“You drive your truck like shit but if Red Bull needs a PR merchant, I told Vicky she can call you.” Blake teased. Daniel snorted and threw Max's balaclava at him.