#remember my strength card redraw

[ranticore]

i really got so bored that i picked this up again and then just kept going and going

[theuntitledblog]

WWE SummerSlam (2024) - REVIEW

I used to look forward to the annual SummerSlam event ever since I started watching WWE following SummerSlam 1996. That event, much like this one, also featured a stunning betrayal in one of its pivotal matches when Paul Bearer betrayed the Undertaker for Mankind. So SummerSlam played a significant part in discovering my love for wrestling, I even bought VHS tapes of SummerSlam 1988, 89, 90, 91, and 92 as I retrospectively discovered that era of wrestling. SummerSlam 1996-8 remained highlight events during my time of watching WWE but with the exception of perhaps the 2000 and 2002 event, SummerSlam to me never quite felt as important again compared to the other Big 4 events of WWE.

Perhaps part of the issue is that SummerSlam lacks a unique concept; Royal Rumble and Survivor Series have always been built around a particular match type while WrestleMania has always been the biggest spectacle of the sport. SummerSlam has had moments over the years but to me at least it just hasn't felt quite as important to the other 3 ... maybe that's just me, I don't know. The point I'm trying to make is that the 2024 SummerSlam was the first time in as long as I can remember that the event did feel that it had that same gravitas as the other Big 4 events. This is a show that didn't have a diverse card in terms of match type; there were no tag team matches, triple threat, cage, ladder or any other creative match that other events have utilised. This was a stadium show with 7 singles matches that all had a long-term story at its centre and whose outcomes would redraw the map of the main roster. OK, sure, the match outcomes were generally what I predicted, but while watching the event, there were moments where I doubted those outcomes as the in-ring drama drew me in. SummerSlam 2024, for me, has been the best event PLE since WrestleMania 40 and even then, maybe slightly better in some respects.

MATCH 1 - WWE Women's Championship: Liv Morgan (champion) vs. Rhea Ripley

SummerSlam got off to a very strong start with this opening match, which was never going to struggle in terms of story, but when it came to the in-ring action? I wasn't sure, but that doubt was more about Liv Morgan than Rhea Ripley. There's no question that the Liv Morgan of recent years couldn't be more different than the way she was during her time with The Riott Squad, but even then there's been something about her that hasn't always convinced despite defeating Ronda Rousey for her first World title. Her scrappy style in the ring, the constant underdog presentation didn't help the feeling that she was often punching above her weight when stepping into the ring with the likes of the Four Horsewomen, Asuka and even Rhea Ripley. However, since returning at the 2024 Royal Rumble, things have felt felt very different with her. She had a strong showing in the Rumble and Elimination Chamber, and the post-WrestleMania storyline between Morgan and the Judgment Day has been an unexpected hit. She's looked convincing in the ring, the storyline with Dominik has been captivating week after week and this is by far the best program she's featured in where she looks strong.

So, going back to my doubts regarding the in-ring action for their match at SummerSlam? I needn't have worried. This was a fantastic match from start to finish that thankfully, didn't feel like a complete mis-match. Rhea Ripley got to show off her superior strength and looked superb and Liv Morgan likewise worked in some good offense and felt like a threat with a clever injury angle that I honestly couldn't tell was real or not judging by Ripley's excellent selling. But this was a match where you sensed something was going to happen, but you just weren't sure what exactly. In the end, it was exactly what this match needed, and while Morgan got the major win, the post-match betrayal with Dominik will absolutely be what this match is most remembered for thanks to tolheir performances, the crowd reactions and even the commentators. It's an outstanding start to SummerSlam in a match that delivered more than I could've hoped for.

****

MATCH 2 - Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn (champion) vs. Bron Breakker

How do you follow an outstanding opening match? By being something different. This was an interesting match as firstly, this was pretty much the only match on the card that came down to the in-ring action alone. The second thing was that out of all the matches on the card, this is the one I would've changed to maybe a Triple Threat Match and include the likes of Jey Uso or Ilja Dragunov rather than just duplicate the previous PLE. That's not to suggest that this match was bad because it wasn't, but by the end of the night this was the one that I had pretty much forgotten about. It was a short match that cut to the chase by having a dominant Bron Breakker win his first Intercontinental title. It certainly made sense although it didn't offer up any surprises and seemed to realize that they couldn't outdo the match beforehand. I'm excited by what's to come with Breakker as champion but I still kinda felt that their match at Money at the Bank was the better one and I'm not sure what was achieved by delaying it till here. I guess that's why I'm the fan and not the booker.

***

MATCH 3 - United States Championship: Logan Paul (champion) vs. L.A Knight

The rise in the popularity of L.A. Knight has genuinely surprised me and seemed to come out of nowhere following his feud with the late Bray Wyatt. I'm certainly no hater of Knight, but I'd be lying if I said I was a big fan or that his matches were something I particularly looked forward to. But if the match with A.J Styles at WrestleMania proved anything is that he can put on a show and deliver some fun, if not classic, matches. On the other side, you have Logan Paul, who I've stated before is so much better in the ring than he has any right to be. The decision to put the US title on Paul was a controversial one, and I had hoped it might boost the profile of a title that's never felt as prestigious compared to the Intercontinental title. I don't know if they achieved that, although Knight's victory here was a genuine feel-good moment and a just reward for a star whose stock has been steadily rising. The match wasn't the best on the card, but it benefitted from a good story coming in, plus Paul makes for such a dislikeable heel that I was really rooting for Knight here. It was a physical back and forth clash with Paul really showing the consequence of the physicality. A super plex spot looked scary as Paul seemed to struggle to get into the right position on the way down, and it made me and my friend wince. But this was the right result that rightfully rewarded Knight, who I think is an ideal choice to try to elevate this title. I just hope they build upon this moment.

*** 1/2

MATCH 4 - Women's Championship: Bayley (champion) vs. Nia Jax

Nia Jax is clearly enjoying what has been her best run since returning to WWE. She has looked better, been given better storylines, and most of all, she's been impressive in the ring and has put on some great matches with the likes of Rhea Ripley and Becky Lynch. Her triumph in the Queen of the Ring tournament was the right decision and has given Nia a well-deserved push into a position that she probably should have reached earlier. Bayley likewise has also had a good run since the Royal Rumble which included a major title win at WrestleMania and a solid reign as champion even if the reign itself hasn't been as quite as memorable as her heel run as champion with Sasha Banks by her side. I liked the Damage Contrl angle and felt that the group didn't go over as much as they probably should have but her Royal Rumble and World Title win at WrestleMania seemed to come out of nowhere and was a recognition for what has been an outstanding career. But you definitely got the feeling that this was Jax's time and while the crowd disappointingly didn't seem to be into parts of this which admittedly didn't have strongest story of the two women's matches on the card. The match itself was pretty good in itself, where both came out looking strong, and the crowd did wake up following the powerbomb spot on Jax. The Tiffany Stratton dynamic with Jax will intrigue going forward, but the only question mark for me is where does Bayley go from here?

***

MATCH 5 - CM Punk vs. Drew Mcintyre with Seth Rollins as the Special Guest Referee

Things couldn't have gone worse for CM Punk at the Royal Rumble. One of the most anticipated in-ring returns in recent memory for a star with so much baggage and drama hanging over him, and it ends with a major injury. In any other circumstance, this would've been a disaster, yet WWE managed to create one of the most compelling storylines and bitterest of feuds in as long as I can remember. This was perhaps the most anticipated match on the card and where one of the major participants hadn't wrestled in nearly 7 months! It's testament to the quality of the change from the McMahon era to the Levesque era of WWE that a match like this can be so anticipated and main event worthy.

I don't know whether Seth Rollins was really needed but I don't think his presence hurt things either especially since it's a reasonable assumption that Rollins vs. Punk is one of the next major feuds to come. I really liked how they built up the tension as much as possible with Rollins delaying ringing the bell while both Punk and McIntyre looked ready to tear each other apart. The match was very physical and was just oozing storytelling throughout and the crowd absolutely loved it. A big thumbs up for the call back to the conclusion of the main event of SummerSlam 1997 as well. I sometimes wonder whether matches like this work as well for a live audience especially when the more story driven moments and exchanges in the ring can only be heard by the viewers at home. Whatever the answer is, what doesn't change is that the in-ring action was good, CM Punk looked great in the ring, the match was filled with compelling drama and delivered on the night.

****

MATCH 6 - World Heavyweight Championship: Damian Priest (champion) vs. Gunther

No other superstar has risen to the top faster or thrived more during the Triple H era of WWE than Gunther. What he lacks in visual flair is more than compensated by his ring presence as a dominant heel in hard hitting matches. Not since Brock Lesnar has a superstar felt as legitimate in the ring as Gunther and it's crystal clear just how much he's valued by WWE in the way he's been booked since arriving on the main roster. His record breaking run as Intercontinental champion is legend in itself and his only pinfall loss felt like the natural next step for what felt was an inevitable run as a World champion. I'm a huge Gunther fan so this is a big moment as a fan but the only downside is that this comes at the expense (sort of) of Damian Priest whom I equally felt was finally coming into his own as champion. It's fitting therefore that two of the biggest rising stars in WWE right now put on the best match of the night.

Did it have the best storyline of the night going in? No however the build-up was helped by some personal jibes from Gunther in the last couple of weeks all the while WWE has been promoting the story of Damian Priest's wrestling career that has helped give things a more personal edge. The brawls they've engaged in on Raw have certainly helped bring a little more heat to the match which made the hard hitting action land even harder. Priest and Gunther looked more than a match for each other with both landing heavy moves including chops which drew blood from The Ring General himself. There were moments where I thought that this might end in a more conventional manner but at the same time there was that sense, given the progression of the night, that more drama might be on the way and in that respect I was not disappointed. Finn Balor's betrayal has been a long time coming and completed the implosion of the Judgment Day which turned out to be one of the biggest takeaways from SummerSlam 2024. This is a match that has redrawn Monday Night Raw considerably while at the same time elevating everyone involved. This has injected new life into the Judgement Day storyline, set up Priest and Balor on a path for what could be a career making feud and and of course elevated Gunther into the main event scene as World champion. This for me was the best match of the night in terms of in-ring action and while maybe the drama of the opening match was tough to beat, in terms of long term consequences this could be even more far reaching.

****

MAIN EVENT - WWE Undisputed Championship: COdy Rhodes (champion) vs. Solo Sikoa

I've got to be honest that I never saw this coming. It's strange to think that for so long we were so focused on the Bloodline storyline with Roman Reigns as Undisputed Champion that we didn't really stop to consider what might happen afterwards. Did anyone really expect to see Solo Sikoa as the next leader of the Bloodline or in the main event for the Undisputed title? I certainly didn't and credit is due for making this new line-up of the Bloodline as credible a threat as possible with the introduction of some new faces that has generally been a success. It's taken some time but with patience and some key victories at Backlash and Money in the Bank, Solo Sikoa for me looks comfortable in this spot and to be fair he and Cody Rhodes put on a very fine match to close the show.

But ... like some of the latter matches of Roman Reign's run as champion, this sadly fell prey to a sense of predictability. The Bloodline rules stipulation that was put in rather last minute was a mistake for me in that it essentially sign posted what we should expect. It's not like this hasn't worked before and I'm not suggesting that this spoiled things, but given the ending of the still rather recent WrestleMania, it just felt too similar and worse too was that the crowd were in on it and waiting. The crowd therefore never seemed too into this match despite the efforts that Rhodes and Sikoa were putting because they knew the match wasn't going to end before that moment occurred. Roman Reign's return stole the show in that match and was the biggest talking point of the main event, not Cody and not Solo which is a shame because they put on a good show.

*** 1/2

OVERALL

I thought this was an incredible SummerSlam and probably best one I've seen in many years. I was surprised how this was a single's match only card but the storylines leading into each of them more than made up for it. Were the results to be expected generally? Yes however the drama involved within each made this event feel like an important one especially in how they've redrawn the dynamics of both Raw and Smackdown going forward.

FAVOURITE MATCH - Damian Priest vs. Gunther

LEAST FAVOURITE MATCH - Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

FAVOURITE MOMENT - Dominik betrays Rhea Ripley

LEAST FAVOURITE MOMENT - The scary looking superplex during L.A Knight vs. Logan Paul.

EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS - Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley

COULD’VE BEEN BETTER - Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

UNSUNG HERO - Jelly Roll

[kimothyroll]

Day 8

Day Total: +1 Theoretical, +5 Practical

Eight of Wands

Its spells this morning, and ignoring the fact that I cause the mishap in the first place, I receive praise for my quick thinking. I realised that my transmutation spell had become unstable and so, recognising the potential danger, I responded with decisive action, casting a counter spell to stabilise the situation. At least I'm learning how to fix my mistakes!

+1 Theoretical

The Hermit

We have a little downtime following the lesson. Celestia is off meeting with one of our professors, so I find myself in my own company. I decide to continue our exploration, hoping to discover something to show her, but mostly just end up wandering around with my own thoughts. I consider the connections I have made since starting—evidently, my bond with Celestia is the strongest, but I am beginning to form other friendships. I am intrigued by Oberon still. I think he might like me, but I'm not sure. There's certainly mutual respect there, but also a hint of competition.

The quiet introspection allows me to gain clarity about my motivations, strengths, and areas for growth in my magical abilities. While the isolation brings enlightenment, it also underscores the significance of balance and interpersonal connections in the magical realm, highlighting the importance of shared experiences with others at the school.

+2 Theoretical

The Hanged man

Wandering round, my exploration task forgotten, I am completely lost in thought. Unfortunately, this mental preoccupation leads to a missed opportunity—a chance encounter with a hidden doorway that supposedly conceals a forgotten chamber within The Midnight Court. The whispers of the school's mysteries beckon, but my distracted state causes me to walk past the concealed entrance, oblivious to the magical secrets that might have awaited discovery.

-1 Practical

The Devil

Back in class and we're grappling with a particularly tricky problem. I remember something I read when Celestia and I were exploring the forgotten library. The catch is, the solution involves forbidden magic. Despite the intense struggle and the fear of failure, I wrestle with the temptation to use it. Eventually, I make the conscious decision against resorting to forbidden magic, but this internal conflict leads to a tricky situation that tests my resolve and the consequences of such moral dilemmas.

+2 Practical, -2 Theoretical

King of Swords

In combat class, the professor lets us know that we will each be challenged to use the skills we've learnt so far to see where our skill levels are at and what we might need to work on.

Draw 1:

M: The Magician- Spell adapts to best elemental advantage for this round. Redraw Six of Swords -6

P: Judgement- no effect as first card. Redraw Death- if at disadvantage next card changes suit. Two of Wands -2

Outcome: major arcanas cancel each other. No elemental advantage. 6 v 2 WIN

Well that was a bit intense, but by change I was able to counter their spell and narrowly take the win.

Draw 2:

M:  Page of Swords- 11

P:  Four of Cups- 4

Outcome: No elemental advantage. 11 v 4 WIN

Another win, but a bigger margin this time. Is he going easy on purpose?

Draw 3:

M: Queen of Swords- 12

P: Nine of Cups- 9

Outcome: No elemental advantage. 12 v 9 WIN

Another win. I don't understand. Yes it was a smaller margin but surely I can't win all 3 rounds.

I think through the duel and how we reached this outcome. I conclude that during the combat, recognising the professor's formidable skills, I was able to employ a combination of quick thinking, clever spell selection, and precise execution. At one point I utilised an unexpected tactic that catches the professor off guard, I seize the opportunity to gain the upper hand, ultimately winning all three rounds and earning respect for my prowess in magical combat. I guess I'll take the win.

+4 Practical

[splinteredbone]

hallway crush

masterlist / navigation / @splinteredmercies

pairing: eddie munson x reader

contains: no spoilers for s4. modern au. reader is really into astrology and tarot. afab reader. an allusion to sex. not edited, we die like men.

wc: 1.73 k

author’s note: im not ashamed to say it: this is one of the most self-indulgent one-shots you’ll ever find because, quite literally, it’s a self-insert. i hereby announce my intentions of bringing forth the astrology!tarot!witch!reader x eddie munson—their aesthetics together, lord! although, we could just shorten it to spiritual!reader x eddie munson, can’t we? anyway, this might become my whole niche considering all the things i’m planning in my head right now… i’m a menace and all of you are now being dragged down with me.

Before you and Eddie Munson were in the same homeroom, he was your hallway crush.

You didn’t know his name, but what you did know was two things:

He was hot. Like extremely fucking hot. (The whole metalhead aesthetic really did things to you.)

You would give an arm and a leg to be able to run your fingers through his hair.

It didn’t take long for you to figure out his name, and his social media quickly followed.

His main Instagram account was public and filled with videos of him playing guitar—where you could see glimpses of a small, cluttered room and walls covered with band posters. You figured out that he ran the Hellfire Club’s Instagram, and that endeared you even more to him because you were sure he made the announcements himself and didn’t rely on Canva.

Then, you found his Twitter account, which was also public. (Twitter accounts were always telling of character, especially for men his age. You found out that he had a little over two hundred followers, published his band’s music on Bandcamp, and had a killer sense of humor.)

And that was how your life went for three years, occasionally stalking his social media and looking out for him in the hallways. Until you walked into Ms. Abernathy’s homeroom during your first day of senior year and found Eddie Munson talking to her animatedly. (You later found out that Ms. Abernathy was taking over as the sponsor of the Hellfire Club.)

Ms. Abernathy greeted you when you tried to walk past her unseen. “I’m so happy to see you! How was your summer break?”

You blinked owlishly and avoided staring at Eddie like an idiot. “It was great. Thanks for asking, Ms. A.”

You forced a bright smile at her and fled to your usual seat near the windows. Your friends would be here soon and they would help you avoid staring at the ridiculously hot two-timer senior.

.

It was late October; the weather was becoming chilly and you switched out your crop tops and shorts for jeans and zip-ups. (Your trusty Birkenstocks remained on your feet despite the changing weather.)

Homecoming week was taking place the week of Halloween this year. You and your group of friends were excited over the announced Spirit Days, coordinating who was matching with who for Character Day and when to go shopping for dresses. And you all had fallen back into old habits: doing natal charts and tarot readings instead of finishing homework and studying. (Ms. Abernathy didn’t mind though.)

“Strength!” It was one of your favorite tarot cards. On it, a woman was depicted calmly holding the jaws of a fully grown lion. It represented having control and discipline, especially during times of great adversities. In this case, you’d asked Spirit who was coming into your friend’s life—possible placements and the like. Placing the card with the others, you continued, “Whoever is reentering your life as a love interest before this year ends will have a Leo placement—sun, rising, moon, etcetera.”

“Reentering?” Leena asked, staring at the spread before her. “I really hope it’s not who I think it is.”

“Remember, tarot is based on current energy, and energies change as you make decisions.” You looked at Leena sternly. “If it is who we think it is: then, we rebuke his bad energy. You’ll redraw boundaries and tell him there’s no way in hell you’re getting back with his cheating ass.”

“The moment I saw Five of Swords come out I knew exactly who it was talking about.” To your left, Oneida cackled before taking a sip of her Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee. “He thought he was so sneaky. And now he’s coming back when he’s realized you’re the best he’ll ever have.”

Leena and Oneida continued speaking (i.e., arguing over Elena’s past decisions regarding your life) as you placed the cards back in the deck. Giving the deck a quick shuffle before putting them away in the box, you hadn’t realized your friends had fallen quiet, and someone was standing over you.

“Can I get a reading?”

You froze and looked up. Eddie Munson was in front of you. Beautiful brown eyes flickered between the deck in your hand and your face.

Leena and Oneida kicked your shin at the same time and you stumbled out a reply, “Sure!”

He grinned widely and sat down in front of you.

“I can give you a general reading, starting with three cards. Is that okay with you?” You held onto your deck like it was a lifeline as he seemingly stared right into your soul.

“Fine with me.”

You smiled and started shuffling after knocking three times on the deck. Spirit, a general reading for Eddie Munson.

The cards started popping out in quick succession. Knight of Wands, Seven of Wands, Six of Pentacles.

“I do my readings based on intuition—my gut feeling,” you explained, moving the cards so Eddie could see them. “I’m going to pull some more.”

Ten of Swords, the Hanged Man, Knight of Pentacles, the Empress, Nine of Swords, Two of Cups, Eight of Pentacles, Death, Justice.

You flipped over the deck, “Bottom of the deck: Four of Wands.”

You glanced at him; he was frowning, eyes focused on the Death card.

“The cards are scary if you take them literally,” you said. You started your interpretation, “You’ve been losing sleep, overthinking whether or not you should approach the person you’re interested in. And right now, you’re your own enemy, letting your anxieties rule you. You should approach them because it’s likely that your feelings are reciprocated. This connection has the potential to be life-changing, in a positive way.”

“That’s… a lot.”

You looked up from the cards; Eddie was already staring at you.

You shrugged sheepishly, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I know. But Spirit had a lot to say about whatever has been bothering you.”

As he was about to say something else, the bell rang and you fled after putting away your deck into the abyss of your backpack.

.

Eddie Munson (edd1emuns0n) started following you.

The scream that came out of your mouth was high-pitched and embarrassing. Immediately, you screenshotted the notification and sent it to the group chat with Leena and Oneida.

Oneida

No fucking shot

WAS THE TAROT READING ABOUT YOU???

Leena

It might be a coincidence

You watched as more text messages came, mostly Oneida telling you to slide into his DMs. You were mortified at the suggestion and decided to put your phone on Do Not Disturb for the rest of the night.

As Leena said, it could be a coincidence but your intuition was saying otherwise.

You slipped your phone under your pillow and turned to your TV. An episode of The Sopranos was playing quietly, and you chose to focus on it instead of whatever notifications were hidden under Do Not Disturb.

That only lasted ten minutes. You grabbed your phone, put in the passcode, and opened your notifications.

edd1emuns0n liked your post.

You froze. You hadn’t posted anything new in months except—

You quickly opened Instagram and saw which post he liked.

It was a post from July when you’d been celebrating Leena’s seventeenth birthday by having a Pinterest-worthy picnic. In the post, you were wearing a floral mini dress. The angels of both pictures showed off your breasts and thighs in flattering angles. You looked hot, even months later.

And Eddie Munson liked that post.

Another scream left your mouth as you threw your phone across your bedroom. You immediately regretted the action and got up to grab your phone.

A notification came in.

edd1emuns0n

Hey, about that tarot reading

Should I actually do something about it?

You stared at the messages for a moment, thinking about what you should say. Finally, you sent your response.

Yes.

He replied quickly.

Okay, see you tomorrow.

Sad at his dry response, you turned off your phone and went back to watching The Sopranos.

.

Homeroom, again. And this time, you were the one nursing a Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee instead of Oneida.

You scrolled aimlessly on Pinterest, saving the occasional Whisper repost that was amusing when Eddie Munson stood in front of you.

“Hey, can I talk to you?”

Oh, shit, did he get rejected? You thought but nodded anyway. You motioned for him to follow you out to the hallway. Ms. Abernathy barely looked at you two.

“What is it?” You questioned, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

“Are you today after school? I’d like to take you out, get to know you.”

You blinked. Then a large smile grew on your face. “So, the reading was about me?”

“Yeah, it was.”

You laughed and beamed up at him. “Well, I am free after school today then. I’ll meet you in the parking lot?”

“Sounds good.”

.

Before you and Eddie Munson were in the same homeroom, he was your hallway crush. Now, he was your boyfriend, and you could boast that you had manifested it.

It was May, and the date of graduation and prom was coming up. You and Eddie were graduating, but Eddie had skipped so many periods that he wasn’t allowed to attend the ceremony.

You didn’t mind that Eddie wasn’t walking the stage. You understood that Eddie would prefer being in the audience, cheering for you as your name was called and you accepted your diploma from the principal. (It was a shame, though, because you were sure his uncle would have liked seeing Eddie walk the stage with you.)

It had taken you two months to convince Eddie it would be worth it to attend prom together. (You’d told him that you would spend the night with him—just him—instead of lugging him to attend the after party.)

So, now, you were pinning Eddie’s only pair of dress pants because it was too long. (You were sure that Eddie bought these hoping you would forget to make sure they fit them right.)

“Stop fidgeting,” you muttered, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He stopped moving. He said your name softly. “Don’t do that.”

You smirked and looked away. “Stay still, and maybe I will give you what you want.”

And he listened. He stayed still as you finished pinning the dress pants (and you did give him what he wanted).

[scripts4dreamers]

Not Your Hero. chapter 5.

Prologue, Chapter one, Chapter two, Chapter three, Chapter four, 

AN: Let The Games Begin.

Characters: Finnick Odair, Coriolanus Snow, Mags Flanagan

Pairings: Finnick x reader

Spoiler(s): None

Warning(s): Mentions of blood, death, murder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, psychological manipulation, intimidation, sexual harassment 

Prompt/Inspiration: Cringe - Matt Maeson

------------------------

--------------

By the time you made it back to the tribute center, you’d stopped crying and had instead gone numb. You’d taken your shoes off at some point. Your feet were cold. You sniffed, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand and remembered, too late, the make up you’d been wearing.

“Fuck,” you said, without any real emotion as you took in the black smudge-marks on your hand, “that’s annoying.”

You weren’t surprised to find Finnick in your living room when you opened the door to your suite. When your client had first started to pull you away, you’d panicked and searched for Finnick with your eyes, but you never found him. Now, some part of you was grateful for that.

He looked a mess. His blazer was flung haphazardly over one end of the couch, his bowtie was loose, the sleeves of his shirt were dirty and rolled up past his elbows and his auburn locks were sticking up in all directions, like he’d been carding his fingers through his hair. He was watching a recap of the tribute parade on television but, when the door clicked into place, he whipped around. His eyes met yours and, as soon as they did, as soon as you saw the care there, the fear and tenderness all swirling together in the eyes of someone you trusted so much, you broke.

You pressed a hand to your mouth, tears spilling over your cheeks in a rush as sobs threatened to tear themselves free from your throat. In a second Finnick had leapt over the back of the couch and was in front of you, his arms half outstretched, like he wasn’t sure whether or not he could-

You launched yourself into his arms, collapsing against his body and letting him engulf you in a firm embrace. He smelled like vanilla and bourbon, and something cool and wild, like the ocean and you clung to that like a life raft, letting it flood your senses and block out everything else. Finnick held you like you were something precious, letting you cry into his shoulder while he stroked your hair and whispered comforting words into your ear. It was so gentle, so loving and tender that it made you feel painfully fragile, like you might shatter into a million little pieces at any second. Part of you wanted to pull away and hide, to push Finnick out and never let anyone touch you ever again. The other part thought that, if Finnick ever stopped touching you, you might die.

“I’m okay,” you eventually sniffed, your voice thick with tears and muffled by Finnick’s shirt.

“No you’re not,” he replied, squeezing you tighter, “I know you’re not.”

“I am,” you insisted, pulling away slightly to look Finnick in the eye, “I mean, I’m not but, the worst is over now, right? It’s done, I don’t have to be afraid of it happening anymore because it’s already happened.”

Finnick looked concerned, like he was fighting the urge to argue, but eventually he nodded.

He reached out and brushed your hair out of your face, making you shiver, “Come on, you should get cleaned up.”

For a moment you panicked. The thought of being alone with your thoughts suddenly so overwhelming that your heart froze but, as Finnick gently took your hand and led you down the hall, you realised what he’d meant. Finnick Odair had no intention of leaving you on your own, he wanted to take care of you. Without so much as a word, he washed your face, combed out your hair and put your shoes back in your closet. He waited outside while you showered, scrubbing yourself clean more times than you needed to because you couldn’t escape the feeling that you’d missed a spot. When you were clean and wrapped in a bathrobe, he helped you pick some pyjamas, three sizes too big with long sleeves and long pants and, while you changed, picked up the dress you’d stepped out of and took it away, putting it somewhere where you’d never have to look at it again.

By the time he got back, you felt almost like yourself again, or more accurately, like someone who could be you, given time. You’d slipped into bed and were sitting up against the headboard, staring into space and trying to convince yourself that it was time to sleep. Finnick, still without speaking, clambered in on the other side and shifted so that his side was pressed against yours. You snuggled into him, resting your head on his shoulder and letting him wrap an arm around your waist. It was comforting and warm and safe with Finnick, the kind of safe you couldn’t remember feeling since the games and you thanked your lucky stars that you’d met him when you did.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Finnick asked.

You shook your head, “Not really. I think you can probably imagine what happened.”

“Thadius?”

“No, some banker’s son named Proculos. He said he liked my hair.” you explained.

Finnick nodded, “I’ve met him. He’s a prat.”

“He is a bit,” you agreed, “but at least he’s too stupid to be mean.”

Finnick chuckled, even though nothing about the situation was funny, and gave you a gentle squeeze as you lapsed into comfortable silence.

“Thank you, by the way,” you eventually said, “for being here.”

Finnick smiled to himself, “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

------------------------

From there, life took on a strange kind of normalcy. Most of your time was spent coming up with strategies for your tributes or watching past games and taking notes. You hung out with the other victors in the sponsor rooms, made connections, charmed people, did interviews. You never talked about what happened with your clients and Finnick never asked you to, but he did watch you a little more intently than before, searching for any signs of distress. On his part, Finnick felt like he was being ripped in half. Every second spent worrying about you was a second he wasn’t spending on Annie and, every second he spent with Annie was a second not looking out for you.

How had this happened? How had Finnick Odair, king of the capitol, known bachelor and playboy, become so deeply entangled in the lives of the people around him?

“Hey, you,” you greeted, breathing heavily as you took a seat next to Finnick, “why the long face?”

You looked incredible, Finnick noticed with his usual pang of annoyance, with your hair pulled off your face and tight fitting training gear on. You’d taken Gloss up on his offer to train you in your free time, building up your strength and endurance with the fiery determination that Finnick had always admired in you so much. It was working too. In the few days it’d been happening, Finnick could already see the beginnings of real improvement. It made him absurdly proud.

“Annie.” He explained, “She’s not getting the buzz she needs from sponsors.”

“There’s still time,” you assured him, “and maybe when the training scores come out-”

Finnick cut you off, shaking his head sadly, “She won’t get higher than an eight.”

“An eight is good!”

“An eight is standard,” Finnick corrected, “at least for us it is.”

“I’d pay someone to give Adam an eight,” you sighed, “right now I’m expecting a five or six.”

Finnick cursed his own insensitivity, “Sorry, Y/N. No one really cares about the training score anyway, unless it’s super high or unreasonably low. They’re not really an indication of how well he’ll do.”

You shrugged, drinking deep from the water bottle you were holding, “I know,” you replied, “I only got a five on my year and look at me now.”

“Exactly,” Finnick smiled, “but for careers…”

“You’ve got to be better than good to stand out,” you commiserated.

“Yup.”

You opened your mouth to say something but, before you could, Gloss called you over. You shot Finnick one last sympathetic look and stood to leave.

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” you called.

Finnick nodded, pushing down his disappointment, “Yeah, of course.”

“Good,” you smiled.

And, just like that, you were gone, leaving Finnick with his thoughts. He knew he was moping, that there were surely better ways for him to be spending his time than sitting around feeling sorry for himself but, as he watched you and Gloss training in the distance, he couldn’t muster up the energy to do any of it. Without meaning to, he let his mind drift back to that first, horrible night when you’d broken down in his arms.

Never in his life had Finnick been so filled with rage. Not when he was reaped, not when his parents had died, never. That night, for the first time, Finnick had understood the desire to cause pain and fear in another human being. He hadn’t wanted to kill the person who’d touched you, he’d wanted to destroy them, to slowly cut away little pieces of them, one by one, until nothing was left but the raw, ugly, corrupted heart of them. He wanted to make them so afraid, wanted them to feel the pain they’d caused so acutely that they begged for death. Only then did he want to kill them.

It was a terrifying feeling, knowing that that monster lay inside of him somewhere, that it could come out at any time and do something terrible to the people he loved. How could a man be capable of such thoughts, such passionate hatred and such tender care? How could a man be both, without the two sides tearing one another apart?

Despite popular belief, Finnick wasn’t actually an idiot, he knew it was because of you. He knew he cared about you more than he should and his feelings were just a reflection of that but, nevertheless, it made him deeply uncomfortable. That’s why he’d decided to keep his distance a little, put some space between the two of you, redraw those lines separating friendship from more that had become so blurry. It was harder than he’d thought it would be. You were just so...you all the time, and he wanted to be around that every single day. But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. For both of your sakes, it would be better if he wasn’t. He had other obligations after all, other responsibilities. Annie needed him focussed.

He remembered the look on her face when she stepped on the train like it was yesterday, all wide eyes and abject terror.

“This is insane,” she muttered, “Fin, what’s going on? How is this happening?”

He shook his head, still reeling from the shock himself, and pulled her into a rough hug. His ears were ringing, his fingers were numb, everything around him felt like it was happening in slow motion. Annie? Why Annie? She’d never taken out tesserae, she wasn’t a star pupil at the academy... It didn’t make sense. Why had no one volunteered? Why had she ended up alone on that stage?

It’s because of you, the voice in his head whispered, it’s because of you. You did this, you doomed her. Because of course it had been rigged. There was no way that, in all of district four, Annie Cresta, known associate of Finnick Odair, could be picked randomly for the Hunger Games. It couldn’t happen. This had to be some sort of message from Snow.

Which meant, Finnick realised with growing horror and dread, that it was his fault. She was here, sentenced to die, because of him. Shame wasn’t a strong enough word for what he felt.

He pushed himself up and made his way back to the elevator, determined to get some work done before the event that evening. Finnick could hear your voice echoing against the walls and, for a second, he considered just staying for a little longer. He’d almost decided that he would stay when the elevator door closed behind him and Finnick was reminded, once again, that he was alone. With a sigh, he pressed the button for the fourth floor. He felt like he was making the right decision, but why did it have to be so hard?

---------------------

When the big day came you felt woefully unprepared. Ever since the victory tour you’d spent every free second trying to make sense of this moment. The start of the games. The first day. Everyone told you that the first one was the worst that, as the years went by, it would get easier. It was meant to be comforting but, to you, it had always sounded more like a threat.

You took a deep breath in, exhaling slowly through your mouth as the hands of the clock ticked on, bringing you closer and closer to the moment of truth. You were vaguely aware of the other mentors flitting around the large viewing room but they were like flies or little birds; pretty, but ultimately distant and unimportant when compared to the screen in front of you. You cracked your knuckles. It should be starting soon. Where was Adam right now? You wondered. Was he in the loading bay? Did he have his tracker in? Had his stylist helped him into his clothes already? Surely she must have. Your eyes flicked to the clock. Yes, by now he would be dressed and ready, maybe even already in the tube. What did they have in store for him?

Your heart was pounding in your ears as you swallowed hard past the lump in your throat. Arketia was explaining what to expect and you were trying to listen, you really were, but your eyes kept being pulled towards the glass ascension tube in the corner of the room. It was like a magnet, pulling you closer and closer to death with every passing second and there was nothing you could do but stare.

A rough hand under your chin pulled you back to the present.

“Focus!” Arketia insisted forcefully, “I’m trying to save your life here you silly girl.”

You winced as her grip dug into your chin, but nodded, recognising the sincerity in your stylist’s eyes.

“Sorry.”

Her gaze softened and she let go, gesturing to the outfit in front of you again, “Like I was saying; this is all cotton or some other lightweight fabric designed to breathe,” she explained, “except for the jacket. That means hot days and cold nights, you understand?”

“Yes,” you answered, looking over the beige and khaki outfit with a growing sense of dread.

“I would bet on it being some sort of desert,” she continued, “like a savannah or veld land.”

Your bottom lip trembled with the effort to stop yourself from crying, and you could feel the tube pulling your gaze, but you resisted. Arketia was trying to help. And, some part of you pointed out, this might be the last friendly interaction you would ever have.

“If it is, you have to find water, and soon,” she told you, a sort of desperation in her eyes, like she was trying to burn the information into your brain with only her gaze, “you’ll lose a lot in those high temperatures, more than you expect. And it’ll get extremely cold as soon as the sun goes down, so try to find somewhere sheltered to sleep, alright?”

You nodded, biting back a comment about how that was fairly general advice and letting her help you strip out of your fancy capitol clothes. All too soon you were dressed, and all you could do was wait together, sipping on bottles of water like they were a lifeline and letting your anxiety creep up and up and up and up.

“Jesus Christ, you’re really not listening to me, are you?” A voice questioned, snapping you out of your reverie with a jump.

Finnick collapsed onto the couch next to you, his perfectly sculpted face the picture of calm. You could see the tension he was holding in his body though, in the way he held his shoulders and fists. As you examined him further you could see the signs of sleepless nights in his face too. You smiled weakly.

“You look wrecked,” you teased, “your stylist didn’t have something to cover up those designer eye bags?” You asked, poking his cheek with your finger.

He laughed, moving his head away from your prodding, “Hey! Who asked you, kid? It’s rude to pick on me in these trying times.”

You scrunched up your nose, “Oh come on, you know you look perfect as usual. I pick on you purely out of jealousy.”

The banter was light hearted and joking but you both knew that it was nothing more than a smokescreen, a comforting exchange that kept you both from spiralling into uncontrollable panic and fear.

“Aww, Y/N/N,” he replied, the smile not quite reaching his eyes, “you’ve got nothing to be jealous of, kid.”

You flushed but, before you could answer, the anthem rang through the crowded room, silencing everyone and drawing their eyes towards the screens. You felt Finnick tense up beside you but you were frozen in place. Your heart was pounding in your ears as the cold hand of dread gripped your heart. For a moment, as the screens came to life, all you saw was the savannah, the miles and miles of brush and sand and the blistering sun, and the cornucopia; blindingly bright in the sun. And you were right back in it. Only the faint brushing of Finnick’s knee against yours pulled you back. You took another deep breath.

“I can do this,” you promised yourself, “I can do this.”

And with that, you pushed your panic deep down into the recesses of your mind and focused on the scene before you. You heard Finnick sigh with relief, and a few quiet sounds of celebration from the other mentors and you couldn’t help but agree, feeling the knot of worry in your chest loosen slightly. The arena was green, with sloping hills creating a sort of river basin and a towering wall of concrete and cement in the distance that looked like a dam. That fact, in particular, made you smile. Your district was full of dams, they were how you generated power and, even if the dam in the arena was unhelpful, you knew the sight of it would give your tributes some comfort the same way the river would for the tributes of district four. James caught your eye and gave you a brisk nod.

You heard the booming voice of Claudius Templesmith as he announced the start of the games, and the roaring cheer and excitement of the crowds of thousands of Capitol citizens who had gathered in the outside viewing areas. It made a rush of bile rise up in your throat.

The countdown began and, instinctively, you reached out and grabbed Finnick’s hand, squeezing tight as your eyes finally found Adam.

“3….2….1,” the robotic voice called.

“And so it begins,” Finnick said softly.

You nodded, “And so it begins.”

-------------------------- 

@i-love-you-green​ , @heatherhollowayst

[kruk-art]

Ok, someone remember my tarot deck for Wayhaven Chronicles? I check it recently, and I decided to redraw it. Cause we know more about Wayhaven now, there are new characters etc. Plus I think I can draw it way better now :D

And here is where you come in! I'm open to ideas what characters fit to what cards. Let me know what are your ideas in comments or in ask. In the next week or so I will update the list. And will start the first sketches. 

0. The Fool 1. The Magician 2. The High Priestess 3. The Empress 4. The Emperor 5. The Hierophant 6. The Lovers 7. The Chariot 8. Strength  9. The Hermit 10. Wheel of Fortune 11. Justice 12. The Hanged Man 13. Death 14. Temperance 15. The Devil 16. The Tower 17. The Star 18. The Moon 19. The Sun 20. Judgement 21. The World

[queertazsecretsanta]

A gift for @nekosd43, created by @all-made-of-stardust!

You gave me a great challenge, as I've never written Taagnus before!  I actually really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it!  Happy Candlenights!

The dish that Magnus crafted is based on this recipe I found online: https://damndelicious.net/2015/01/30/bacon-ranch-cheese-ball/

~~

Oddly enough, it was Davenport who suggested the Secret Star King.

This cycle was by far not the first one where they’d celebrated Candlenights alone on the Starblaster, decorating a bush Merle had cultivated the months before, singing a few songs, and enjoying each others company.  But up until now any gifts they exchanged were small, and somewhat superficial, as at that point being with each other mattered more than any material goods.

That ideal still stood when they arrived on Loven, a softer tranquil farming world filled with kind people and quiet nights.  The Light had landed in the mountains to the east, and upon a short journey over and up, the crew found a small colony of monks living cozily in the cold.  They were surprised to see strangers, but quite friendly.  And after Davenport did some quick negotiations, they happily produced the Light, with no argument.  The crew was ecstatic.

“Please,” one of the monks said.  “You seem like decent people.  Will you stay in our world for Candlenights?”

The whole crew fell silent.

“Candlenights?” Davenport asked, not wanting to misunderstand.

“It’s this world’s holiday festival.  We’d be delighted if you would join us.”

Someone else celebrated Candlenights.

“We’d be happy to,” Davenport answered.

So here they were, a few days later, gathered in the city hall of one of the larger cities in the world (though it really wasn’t that populated).  Around them, many people worked to decorate with festive fun, while the crew drank Fantasy Eggnog and relaxed.

“I’ve been thinking,” Davenport announced.  “If we’re going to be here during proper Candlenights, we should celebrate it properly too.”

“What do you mean?” Lucretia said, taking a sip of her eggnog.  It left a layer of nutmeg on her lip.

“We have a whole world to explore.  Why not try and come up with an interesting gift to a random person?”

He grinned.

“Why not a Secret Star King?”

Taako, who up until this point had been lazing back, relishing the breeziness that the mission had underwent, jolted forward with a start.

“Random person, did you say?” he asked.  He wasn’t sure he much cared for the idea.  On one hand, he could get Lup, and that’d be easy.  He could get Barry, or Lucretia, and it would be challenging, but interesting.

Or he could get Magnus.  And that was a problem.

Magnus, who had been sitting forward eagerly, tried his best not to shrink back at the idea.  He’d know what to get Merle, or Davenport.  Hell, he’d most definitely know what to get Lup.

Or he could pull Taako's name.  And that was a problem.

*****

Davenport seemed to be set in his decision, and not thirty minutes later he returned to the table with his captain’s hat upturned in his hand.

“Go on!” he goaded, smiling.

Taako hesitated.

“What if we get our own name?” he joked, stalling for time as the others reached in.  “We pamper ourselves?”

Davenport shook his head.

“You simply redraw.”

“I was afraid of that,” Taako muttered as he pulled a card. He peeked at it through barely closed eyes.

Magnus.

Damnit.

He glanced over at Magnus, who was staring at his own card. The man had a damn good poker face. He had a good face in general, actually.

Magnus looked up, caught him staring, and flashed him a toothy grin.

"I know what I'm doing!" he declared.

Taako had half a mind to get Merle to cast Zone of Truth.

Instead, he retreated to another room, closed the door, and slid to the floor. He clutched the card tightly between his fingers, rereading the name over and over again, like it would disappear if he tried hard enough.

Magnus.

The name itself was evocative of the man it belonged to. Bold, strong, courageous, fearless. Taako remembered when he first saw him - the goofus was taking bets on how much beer he could chug before finally being beaten in a fight. A lot of beer, apparently, because even when he was swaying on his feet he held his own and knocked the lights out of the other guy - a bully, Taako knew, which made him endeared to Magnus in a way he couldn't quite describe. And it wasn't the brute strength, the high constitution modifier, or even his muscles (though the muscles were a nice bonus) that made Taako do a double take. It was his bravado - the fact that he stood up to a bad guy, and won. It was something Taako would never be able to do. Lup, maybe. Definitely. But not Taako. No, Taako wasn't worth much in a fight, and he wasn't worth much in Magnus' eyes either. He was an idiot wizard who conjured party tricks. Magnus deserved someone leagues better. Courage and strong will. Hospitality - now that was something Taako never seemed to be able to give.

But he'd be damned if he didn't make the perfect gift for Magnus. The big guy deserved that much at least.

Besides - maybe this would be a chance to show Magnus how he felt. He sure as hell wasn't going to say it in words. Maybe not a confession - a simple gesture would suffice. He knew he would never gain anything from it anyway.

*****

Magnus found a quiet corner by a fireplace, and he sat down heavily on a chair. He looked at the paper once more and sighed, running a hand down his face.

Taako.

The name had always meant warm feelings for Magnus.  Watching the wizard practice his spells like they were nothing. Watching him laugh and joke with Lup, watching him love. Magnus knew Taako was capable of far more than the elf ever gave himself credit for, and Magnus had always supported him.

Said support had landed him squarely in the friendzone, and he didn't mind it - it meant he could still be close. Still be with him. Gods knew Taako wasn't going to go for someone like him. He deserved finesse. Beauty. Someone who could love him.  Like Magnus did.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. It had been this way for cycles now, he had lost track. But now, he held a potential key to everything. Maybe Taako would never reciprocate anything. Magnus was fine with that. But maybe he could make something that made Taako happy. That showed him what he meant to him. He wasn't going to get anything out of it but a nice smile, but gods that smile would be nice.

****

This plane was built around sturdy buildings that weathered many a storm.  So Taako knew he could find somewhere with the right tools to make the perfect gift.

He had decided on creating a model version of the Starblaster.  And he refused to use transmutation to do it - no, this was going to be done by hand, and it was going to be done right.

Problem was, he didn't know how to do it.

In the main town where they had settled, Taako asked around and found a carpenter named Rosemary, who had built several of the town’s homes and had contributed to the architecture of the city hall.  Magnus would like her, and she seemed very eager to please.

She gave him a place to work, all the tools and supplies he could imagine.

“If you need anything, just holler!” she said, before shutting the door and leaving him to it.  He looked down at the workbench.

Fuck.

He had no idea where to start.

*****

The food served here was warm, hearty, and delicious, made from the freshest ingredients and by the best of hands.  So immediately Magnus knew what he was going to give Taako.

He asked around and found a chef named Bill, a kind man, who was willing to lend out his kitchen to Magnus and provide food to cook with.

“Anything for a lover’s gift!” he said with a wink.

“No, it’s not - ” But he was already gone.  Magnus sighed and looked around at the kitchen.  An oven, a fantasy fridge, a knife block, cutting boards - everything he needed.

Shit.

He had no idea where to start.

*****

The Secret Star King swap was about a week away, but to Taako it might as well have been tomorrow.  He cut wood, sanded it down, measured twice, cut once, and at the end of the day found himself with a broken piece of oak and a dowel that was way too big.

He was sighing into his hands, ready to try again, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Not going well, Ko?”

He turned to find Lup, observing his disheveled attempts.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.  “Shouldn’t you be working on your own gift?”

She waved a hand.

“Oh, mine’s simple.”

“Who’d you get?”

“Now, do you think I would tell you that?  What if I got your name, hmm?”

Taako rolled his eyes.

“Let’s hope you got something good for me then.”

He turned back to his monstrosity and let out a long breath.

“Gods know I’m not doing so hot.”

“Magnus?”

Taako tensed, then just as quickly let it go.  Figures she would guess it in one - she wasn’t an idiot.

“Yeah,” he admitted.  “Stupid thing won’t piece together, though.”

“You know you could easily use magic, right?”

“Yeah, thanks, I didn’t know that,” he said, sarcasm dripping.

“So why the extra effort?” Lup asked innocently.

“I, uh - ”  He stammered.  “Just wanna make something nice for him, y’know?”

Lup was standing with a hand on her hip, judging him.

“Uh-huh.”

“He, uh - ” Fuck.  “He..he deserves it.”

Lup shook her head, clucking her tongue.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad,” she chuckled.

Taako blanched.

“No!” he protested.  “No, it’s just a gift, I don’t want - I never - ”

“Taako?  My sweet brother whom I love very much?”

Taako gulped.

“Yeah?”

Lup reached out and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t lie to me, kay?”

It was a downright threat, and Taako stared at the floor, laughing nervously.

“Yeah, okay, find, maybe I do love the huggable idiot,” he admitted under his breath.  “But you can’t tell anyone, you got that?  Especially not Lucy, gods I can’t have her writing this shit in her books.”

Lup smirked.

“Your secret’s safe with me.”  She tightened her grip.  “If you tell him at the gift swap.”

Taako tried to reel back, but her grip was like a vice.

“Lup, you know I can’t - ”

“Hmm, then I guess I can tell Davenport to call the whole thing off.  No more Candlenights, because my dork of a brother refused to confess to his - ”

“Lulu, please.”

“ - and gods know the others would be heartbroken and - ”

“Okay, okay, fine!”

She was still smirking, but she loosened her grip and stepped back.

“That’s better.”

Taako massaged his shoulder where her fingers had dug into his skin.

“You’re a right piece of work, you know that sis?”

She grinned.

“I know.”

And she walked out of the room.

*****

Magnus didn’t cook.

Sure, he knew basic meals, picked up on a few things from Taako.  But he didn’t have the same touch Taako always carried.  Give him a wild rabbit to skin and stick in stew any day.  But the dishes Taako made were more than boring old stew.  And Taako deserved more than just stew.

He didn’t think it could be that hard.  Lup did it all the time, and she wasn’t a transmutation specialist.  She had just learned from the best - why couldn’t Magnus do the same?

He experimented around with ingredients.  Got some prime cuts of beef and lamb from the farmers outside the main city.  Spices he borrow from a few kind merchants - they were new and alien, but he figured they couldn’t be that far from those that Taako usually cooked with.  Mashed potatoes - now that he could do.

He thought.

Not wanting to officially cook the dish until the day of the gift swap, Magnus attempted smaller micro-dishes - taste samplers.  His first attempt had gone...sour was the literal phrase. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong.  Second attempt wielded a sad lumpy mess of limp carrots and overly-salted potatoes.

He was in the middle of trying something else - grilling lamb cuts - when Lup popped her head into the kitchen, startling Magnus.  He accidentally knocked the lamb into the fire, and he scrambled to turn off the heat in time.

Lup laughed as he recovered the now charred remains of the lamb.  It was a moot point anyway - the meat had been dull, grey, and dry from the start.

“Not going well?” Lup asked, looking over his large shoulder.

Magnus sighed.

“You two always make it look so easy!” he complained.

Lup patted him sympathetically.

“Didn’t know this is what you wanted to do with the cycle.  I thought you’d be out exploring the plane with Davenport.”

“It’s not for the cycle.  It’s for Candlenights.”

Lup raised her eyebrows.

“Oh?” She stepped around him, sniffing at the meat.  “So you got Taako’s name?”

Magnus looked shocked.

“N - no!  I mean - this could be for anybody!  Lucretia likes lamb, doesn’t she, maybe it’s for her!”

“Mmm-hmm.”  She picked up a carrot, examining it.  “You know, this is an awful lot of effort for just a silly old gift.  Why not just make him rabbit stew?  You know we all love that.”

Magnus shifted slightly, staring at the counter and fiddling with the burner controls.

“I think - well, assuming it is Taako, which I’m not saying it is - I think he, uh...deserves something better than rabbit stew, y’know?”

Lup’s eyes widened slowly, and a smile crept onto her face.

“Oh.  Oh, Magnus.”

“What?”

“Nothing!” she said, so quickly Magnus almost didn’t recognize the coyness in her tone.  She stepped around the counter, tracing her fingers along the ingredients he’d picked out.  She picked up a spare clove of garlic and twirled it expertly in her hand.

“He likes bacon,” she hinted.  “Just in case it is his name that you got.”

She waltzed out of the room, tossing the garlic over her shoulder.  Magnus caught it awkwardly, and stared back down at the stovetop.

******

It was two days until the gift swap, and things were not going well.

Taako had struggled to bite down the magic in his fingers, and he'd earned several splinters and a sore thumb from missing the nail with the hammer. He was gonna do this right goddamnit.

But all he had managed to do was carve some maple in the rough form of a ship. He had hacked away at it to make the interior hollow, and he wasn't even close to the proper shape. In fact, it looked somehow worse than the Starblaster had on the bad cycles, where it had taken some hits.

As he attempted to shear the top of the hull, the knife slipped, and he cut a deep gash in his finger.

"Ow, ow, fuck, stupid piece of -"

"You okay?"

He looked up, still clutching his bleeding finger. Magnus was standing in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Hey, big guy!!" Taako flung out his body, trying to cover the table behind him. The blood speckled the canvas cloth underneath. "Yeah, I'm fine, nothing to -"

Magnus was already running over to him, grabbing his hurt hand and gently bringing it up to him.

"What happened? Slip the blade?" he asked, already pulling out a spare bandage because of course he had spare bandages in his pockets, Merle wasn't always around to heal everything, and Magnus never wanted to see anyone hurt. The thought made Taako's heart swell a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," he admitted. "I'm fine though, really, I'm -"

He hissed sharply as Magnus tugged the bandage taught. Okay, maybe it was a bit worse than he thought. But Magnus was taking care of it. Like he always took care of everyone. Of Taako.

"Thanks," Taako said quietly.

"Of course!" Of course.  "Lup sent me over here to check on ya. So, what are you working on?"

He looked over Taako's shoulder and spotted the shitty wooden ship.

"Oh, cool!" Magnus declared, picking it up. "You're making Davenport the Starblaster?"

Taako let out a breath. He was gonna kill his sister.

"Yeah, totally making it for him!" Taako lied through his teeth.

"Having a shit time with it too," he murmured.

"You want me to show you some tips?"

Taako almost laughed. Yeah, have Magnus teach Taako how to make his own gift.

He shrugged. "Why not?"

He stepped forward while Magnus smiled at him, eager as ever. Taako's heart skipped a little at his dopey grin.

"Okay, so first off, you need to sand down the wood before you even start carving it, otherwise the blade will get caught in the bark."

Taako picked up the wood and the tools, ready to try again. He followed what Magnus was saying, smiling slightly.

"Alright, now you've gotta use the big chisel to carve away the big bits."

Taako looked down. There were several tools, all looking like chisels, all similar sizes.

He picked one up.

"No, the other one."

Another.

"The other one."

He moved to pick one up, and suddenly Magnus' hand was on his, guiding him to the right one.

"That one," he said softly.

Taako realized Magnus was standing right behind him, almost embracing him, his tall figure a good foot higher than Taako's. He led Taako's hand firmly but gently over to the wood and showed him how to knock away the excess pieces. His hands cupped Taako's, occasionally squeezing down, helping him with the finer details. Magnus' words continued above him, spouting instructions, but Taako was content to just listen to his deep voice. He found himself leaning backwards, ever so slightly, into Magnus' tall frame, and he closed his eyes, just for a second, breathing him in. Imagining if this could be real.

"Taako, are you -"

Magnus stiffened, aware of where Taako was, and Taako backpedaled, pushing himself up and away, but he was caught between the table and Magnus' arms. He spun, extricating his hands and holding them close to his chest as he stared up at Magnus. He was staring right back, so close. Taako could feel his breath, almost taste his lips.

Magnus was the first one to snap out of it, shoving himself backwards, blinking hard.

"Yeah, so, does that help?" he asked, his voice even. Of course it was. Nothing phased Magnus, not even his best friend making bedroom eyes at him after he practically spooned him.

"Yeah, my man, thanks for the tips!" Taako said, his voice squeaking slightly. Damnit, pull yourself together.

"Welcome." Magnus offered a smile. "Can't wait to see the final product, I bet Dav's gonna love it!"

He turned and left before Taako could get in another word, leaving Taako in a lurch. Why did he do that, what the hell was he thinking. He's not interested. He doesn't want you.

He sucked in a breath. He was going to absolutely murder his sister.

******

Taako stormed into his bedroom, but Lup was already there, leaning back on her bunk and reading a book.

"How'd it go?" she purred.

"You absolute bastard," he grumbled. "That was all your idea!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, putting the book down and examining her nails. "I just figured you needed some help, you poor thing."

Taako fumed, sitting with a dramatic thump onto his own bunk.

"You're just trying to torture me," he groaned. "Your own brother!"

"I don't see what's wrong with having Magnus help you with your present. He doesn't need to know it's for him."

Taako pointed an accusatory finger at her.

"You know very well that's not what I'm upset about."

Lup smirked.

"I told you you needed to confess by the Secret Star King. I was just... speeding up the process."

"Making things worse is what you did."

He sighed and fell back onto his pillow, a hand to his forehead. He saw Lup roll her eyes.

"Tell you what," she offered, sliding off her bunk to kneel next to his. "I know for a fact that Magnus needs help with his gift."

"What's he doing, baking a pie for Lucretia or something?"

"Something like that."

Taako sat up.

"Sis, I was joking."

"And I'm not. He's struggling so much with the cooking and I know you wouldn't want to poison poor Lucretia…"

Taako shook his head, laughing.

"Man, we are all out of our league, aren't we?"

"Well I'm not," Lup said, beaming. "I'm having a fantastic time with my gift. But you two idiots could use some help."

She stood and returned to her book.

"Just don't go fainting into the oven, alright?"

Taako grabbed his best hat and stuck his tongue out at her. She replied in turn, then buried her head in her book again.

****

Magnus was burning the food. The smoke was very quickly filling the whole room, and he was coughing, trying to figure out what was going wrong. He struggled for the off switch on the stove, and he didn't notice Taako until he dove for it, before swiftly covering the charred mess in the pan with its lid. He panted, then looked over at Magnus, who was slumped against a bar stool, still coughing somewhat.

Damnit. You were so close and now he's here, witness to your failure.

"Hey, Taako," he said weakly, as the elf tried to wave most of the smoke out the window. "Lup send you?"

"My sister was under the impression that you needed some help."

He eyed the disaster on the stove and scooped it up, taking it to the open air to cool off. Magnus was still upset, but he pulled himself up quickly. He couldn't let Taako see him like this.

“Yeah, well, I mean - ” he stammered, staring down at the food.  Not at Taako.

“Listen, my man, it takes some practice.  But it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Magnus sighed as he sank down into his seat.  “Here I am, trying to make the perfect dish, and you - ”

“Perfect dish?  For Lucretia?”

Magnus gaze shot up to Taako.  Oh thank fuck, Lup must have bought the lie after all.

“Maggie, you know that woman will eat anything you make her, she loves your stuff.”

“I know!” Magnus said carefully.  “I just...wanted her to have something nicer.”

“Hmm,” Taako mused as he examined the remains of the mess in his hands.  “Was this bacon?”

Shit.

“Um, it was?  I was trying something out with cheese, and...”

He gestured to the wreck.  Taako smirked before dumping the whole thing into the garbage.

“Okay, if you’re going to be working with cheese, like making it fancy, you can’t just melt it over any old pan.”

He cleared a space on the counter and opened the fantasy fridge behind him, peering inside.

“What sort of flavors were you thinking?” he asked as he rummaged around.

Magnus tried to come up with something that wouldn’t clue Taako into the ruse.

“Uh...barebeque?”

Taako slammed the door and turned, glaring at him.

“Magnus, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

He dropped a block of cream cheese into Magnus’ stunned hands.

“It’s simple – whip this up with a bit of cheddar and...”

He perused the shelves before grabbing a bottle and tossing it to Magnus.  He caught it awkwardly, still staring at Taako.

“Worcestershire.”

“I, um...” Magnus examined the bottle.  “How do you pronounce this again?”

Taako laughed.

“Look, Magnus, I can’t hold your hand through this.  So I’m giving you a head start.  Fly free little bird.  Can’t wait to see if Lucy likes it.”

Magnus took him in.  He was leaning casually on the counter, smiling, but his foot was tapping in the nervous tick Magnus knew meant he was nervous.  He shouldn’t know that, it meant Taako had become everything in his mind, but that was the truth.  He knew Taako better than the elf probably thought he did, and all he wanted to do was prove to him that he could give him something amazing.  Something incredible and delicious.

His fingers tightened on the bottle.  If Taako said it would taste good, he would make it.

“Alright, Taako.  Thanks.”

“No problem, kemosabe, any time.”

His foot was still tapping, and Magnus looked at him curiously.  Taako didn’t have any reason to be nervous.  He always knew his way around the kitchen.

“I’ll try it out today.”  Magnus turned back to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ranch dressing.  “What about this?”

Taako’s eyes widened and he made a small noise that Magnus couldn’t really get a read on.

“Maggie, that’s up to you to decide.”

He pushed himself up, and now his fingers were tapping the same rhythm.  Magnus just didn’t get it.  He put the bottle down gently as Taako backed out of the room.

“Good luck!”

He was gone before Magnus could respond.  He stared down at the ingredients in his hands.

He didn’t think Taako had actually given him any cooking tips.

******

Taako sucked in a deep breath the moment he left the kitchen.  What the hell was he thinking, giving Magnus the stuff to make one of his favorite dishes?  And why in the ever loving fuck did Magnus know exactly what ingredient (the stupid ranch dressing) would make the whole thing perfect?

“He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, why would he care so much?” he muttered as he half-ran down the hall.

He ran headlong into Lup, and suddenly there was paper flying everywhere, Lup cursing as she knelt to try and pick it all up.

“Goddamnit, Ko, I spent all morning on this, and now you’ve gone and - ”

Taako took a second look at the paper.  It wasn’t blank, there was writing all over it.  Lup was holding what looked like an empty cover.

“Lup, what is - ”

He snatched a piece out of the air and read it over.

- was some of the best fun I’ve had in ages.  Your smile was so lovely, and your laugh made me feel – 

Lup grabbed the paper back from him, almost ripping it in half.  She was blushing.

“None of your business, is what it is.”

He eyed the cover that she was shoving all the papers back into.

“Is this for Lucretia?”

Lup didn’t answer.  She collected the final pieces before shutting the cover forcefully and standing up.

“Oh ho ho, you are not in love with - ”

“Taako, I’m gonna make you a deal - ”

She shoved a finger in his face.

“I won’t say shit about your thing for Magnus if you don’t say shit about this.”

Taako was still shocked.

“Wait.  If you got Lucretia’s name, then why the hell did you say Magnus was cooking for her?”

Lup closed her eyes and cursed.

“Lulu,” he chided.  “He pulled my name didn’t he?”

She stared at the ground.

“Maybe,” she grumbled.

“Oh no,” Taako realized.  “I just told him how to make the perfect dish for me.  Oh, god, Lup, this is going to backfire horribly, you can’t let this happen.”

“Last time I checked,” Lup said, pulling the journal closer to her.  “It wasn’t any of my business.”

She shoved past him, shouldering him hard, leaving him to think.

Magnus knew what Taako wanted.  He was going to make him exactly what he wanted.  And Taako was supposed to sit there and take it like it wasn’t the most pathetic thing to happen to him.

The gift swap was tomorrow.

He groaned and headed back to the workshop.

He had a ship to finish.

******

The morning came beautifully.  There was a layer of fresh snow on the ground, the Candlenights bush was alight, and everyone around them was celebrating.

Davenport had polished up the Starblaster’s living room with a small bush of its own, and everyone had their gifts ready.

As Taako expected, Lup gave Lucretia a journal full of stories they had shared.  Lucretia had turned beet red, and so had Lup.  Merle gave Barry a new pair of somewhat patchworked blue jeans he had made himself, and Barry gave the dwarf a Candlenights pumpkin he had tried to grow in a greenhouse.  It was deflated, and sad-looking, but Merle loved it anyway.  Davenport smiled cheerfully as he gave Lup a simple sweater with the IPRE logo, that he said he had knitted himself.

It was Magnus’ turn to present his gift, and he produced a large plate surrounded by buttery crackers.  In its center there was a giant cheeseball, covered in herbs and bacon.  Taako could smell the ranch from across the room, and his mouth watered just looking at it.  Magnus had outdone himself, and Taako had no idea why.  Why was he worth so much?  He shouldn’t have ever helped Magnus.  He should have just – 

“Taako?”

Davenport was trying to get his attention.

“Taako, it’s your gift next, right?”

“Yeah.  Coming right up.”

He left the room and returned with the Starblaster model in his hands.

He was particularly proud of himself, actually.  The beautifully sculpted hull was painted the shining silver of the real thing.  The cockpit was sleek and smooth.  The thing even had the name etched into its side, carefully done by fucking hand (and his fingers still hurt from doing it).  But it was done, and it was pretty, and from one look at Magnus Taako could tell he loved it.  Taako’s heart swelled up to just look at the big guy’s expression.

“Taako!” he gasped.  “Taako, that’s incredible!”

Taako smiled sheepishly as he set the thing down on the table.

“Thanks.  I wanted to make sure it looked good for - ”

“Davenport, that’s gotta be the best present ever!”

“Wait, what?”

Magnus turned to Davenport, who looked shocked too, but Lucretia was shaking her head.

“No, I had Davenport’s name.  Magnus, that ship’s for you.”

Magnus stared at Taako.

“For me?”

Taako was gaping at him.

“Wait, wait.  You think I made this for Davenport?”

“You were so focused on it, you were so passionate!  You must have loved Davenport so much and I didn’t want to - ”

“Davenport?  Davenport?  Excuse me, why the ever loving fuck would I be in love with Davenport - no offense Dav - ”

The gnome shrugged.

“Davenport?!”

“I didn’t think it was for me!”

“You idiot, of course it was for you!”

“Why did you put so much effort into something that I would - ”

“Okay, back up, Taako’s not answering that question, you should be answering mine, which is why the hell did you put so much effort into my gift?”

Magnus blinked at him.

“Lup said it was your favorite.”

“Lup said?!”

Taako whirled on his sister, flipping her off with both hands.  She saluted him, and he turned back to Magnus.

“Magnus, you nearly killed yourself in that kitchen.  Why didn’t you make your rabbit stew?  You know I would have been happy with that.”

Magnus looked saddened.

“I wanted it to be special.  For you.”

Taako took the words hard.

“What, so now you’re taking pity on me?” he spat.  He didn’t need this.  This extra effort.  “It’s bad enough seeing me by myself all the time, you had to go and embellish it?”

Magnus was shaking his head, but Taako wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re such an idiot, Mags, a real prize.  It’s already hard enough having to see you dance around with people on the different planes.  Dancing with people who weren’t me.  Now you gotta go and remind me that I’m just a pity project to you, someone you feel bad for.”

Magnus was staring at him.

“People who weren’t...you?” he asked, confused.

“Here we go,” Lup stage whispered to the rest of the crew.  Taako could have sworn he heard money being exchanged, but he didn’t care.

“Yeah, Maggie!” he yelled.  “Not me!  Because you’ll never dance with me, no matter how much I want it.  You wanna know why I put so much into this hunk of junk?  Because you deserve the best, Magnus Burnsides.  You wanna know why I know that?  Because I love your stupid face too much, and I’ll never give you second best, even if all you’ll do is bake me a pity cake and serve it with a smile.”

Magnus was dumbstruck.  Lup was smirking.  And Taako was panting hard, his braid unraveling at the end, his fists balled up tight.

“Look,” he spit out, storming over to the plate with Magnus’ cheese ball and scooping it up, almost spitefully.  “I’m going to enjoy this in the comfort of my own room.  You win, Lup.”

He flipped her off again, pointedly ignoring Merle and Davenport eating popcorn by the window.  His asshole of a sister must have handed it out.  Fine, whatever.

“Show’s over people,” he muttered.

“...I have a stupid face?” were the only words he heard from Magnus before Taako slammed the door behind him.

******

The worst part about all of it was that the food was exceptionally good.  Magnus had outdone himself, always and forever, like he always would, and it made Taako even more pissed.  Because of course Magnus would go all out.  Of course he would devote all this time and energy and effort into making Taako the perfect dish because the dumb idiot never wanted anyone to feel left out.  He felt bad for Taako, seeing him on his own.

“Whose fault is it that I’m alone in the first place, huh?” Taako muttered spitefully as he took another bite.  He didn’t mean it.  He didn’t blame Magnus - he blamed himself.  But that wasn’t Taako’s area of expertise, so he threw the ball back in Magnus’ court because having an imaginary scapegoat for your own problems is better than confronting them yourself.

There was a tentative knock on the door.  Taako groaned, setting aside the food delicately (he still wanted to eat more) as he forced himself to his feet and stormed over to the door.

“Lup, I swear to god, Fantasy Jesus, Jeffandrew, and literally everyone in the Celestial Plane that I am gonna - ”

He wrenched the door open, ready with a string of curses.  But it wasn’t Lup.  It was Magnus.

“Hi,” he said timidly.

Taako moved to close the door, but Magnus stuck his foot out and caught it.

“Please,” he offered, desperation in his voice.  “I just wanna talk.”

Taako rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, throwing his hands up in the air as he walked back to his bunk and the plate of delicious food.  He threw himself onto the bed and waved a hand dramatically, inviting Magnus to enter.

“Not much to talk about, my man,” he said, pointedly ignoring Magnus’ puppy dog eyes.  The whole thing reeked of the adoration that Magnus usually poured into things.  Selfless loser.

“I didn’t mean any of what you said back there.  I promise.”

Taako took another spiteful bite.  God it was good.

“Listen, you’re the team lover.  We’ve all heard the stories, we know each other.  It’s been, what, fifteen cycles?  Twenty?  The idea that you wanna care for all of us isn’t anything new, Mags.  I get it.”

“Taako, I do care about you, just like everyone else, but I - ”

“That’s all I gotta hear, Maggie.” Taako finished his food, savoring the last taste of bacon on his tongue.  Magnus was struggling for words.

“The Starblaster,” he said slowly.  Taako knew he meant the model ship Taako had slaved over, as much as he wanted him to be talking about the one they were in.  If only so they didn’t. Have. To talk. About this.  “Why were you so focused on it?”

Taako curled his legs up to his chest and looked out the window, away from Magnus.

“I told you why,” he said dully, almost under his breath.

“I guess I don’t...you’re always so bold, Taako, I...I never knew you’d want me.”

Taako recoiled further and closed his eyes.

“Yeah, well.”

Why wasn’t Magnus leaving?  Things would be so much better if he just wasn’t there.

“Taako.”

Magnus’ hand was on Taako’s, and he wanted to leap back, hissing, because no one touched him except Lup, at least not like this, not when he was vulnerable and messy and dear god why did Magnus have to look like that?

His eyes were big and watery, there was a hesitant smile on his lips, and he looked cute, the absolute fucker.   He was making Taako’s heart skip three beats at a time, and it wasn’t fair.

“What do you care anyway?!” Taako snapped, shoving himself up from the bed and marching to the door.  Magnus’ hand hovered midair where it had been touching Taako’s skin moments before.  “We’ve both played our hands, made our beds.  Now I’ve gotta lie in mine, and you in yours, and we’ll move on!”

He yanked open the door and pointed firmly at the hall outside.

Magnus looked heartbroken, and it made Taako furious.

“Why do you have to look like that!” he cried.  “It’s bad enough you look down on me - ”

Magnus stood suddenly.

“Taako, no - ”

“ - and now Taako’s gone and opened his big mouth and said shit you were never meant to hear and I - ”

Magnus was in front of him, towering over him with his big frame and muscles that could hug Taako so warmly and goddamnit.

“Taako, I love you, okay?” Magnus shouted.

“Yeah!  That’s exactly the problem!”

Magnus shook his head and grasped Taako’s shoulders, and as much as he wanted to shove them off and run the other way, he found himself rooted to the spot.

“Taako, I don’t pity you!  I don’t want you to feel good, or have nice things, or be cared for because I’m obligated to!  I want perfection for you, Taako, because I love you!”

Taako opened his mouth for a retort and stopped short, one finger raised in retaliation.

“You - you’re saying that you specially cooked a meal - ”

“Yes.”

“And did all this work - ”

“Yes.”

“And asked my fucking sister to help you - ”

Magnus stuttered.  “I d - didn’t exactly ask her - ”

“Oh, shut up you lovable idiot.”

Taako threw himself forward and kissed Magnus with as much as he could muster in the span of three seconds, before he pulled back, his hands still gently grasping Magnus’ shirt.  Magnus looked surprised, and immediately Taako tried to push himself away.

“Never should’ve...stupid, I’m so fucking stupid...I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m - ”

He didn’t realize what was happening until Magnus’ lips were on his, and they were kissing again, longer and deeper.  Taako felt the door close quietly behind him before Magnus had lifted him into the air, pressing him against the door and wow, it felt like flying kissing this man, this big stupid lug who cared too damn much for his own good.

In a breath that he almost didn’t want to take, he looked at Magnus, at his soft eyes and dorky smile.

“I fucked up,” he whispered.  “I didn’t know - ”

“You’re forgiven,” Magnus said softly, kissing him gently on the cheek.

“That bacon was really fucking good.”

“I know.”  He was kissing his neck now, oh my god he was kissing his neck.

“How much do you think the team lost on the bets?” he asked, trying and failing to distract himself from Magnus’ strong arms and his careful fingers.

“Bet they didn’t expect this,” Magnus breathed into his ear, and Taako stopped talking then, because even if this was a fluke, a one off, Magnus’ pity going to the extreme -

But it wasn’t.  He felt that, somewhere inside of him.  Magnus had a tiny ship and Taako had a licked-clean plate to prove it. This wasn’t going to go away.

Somewhere down the hall, Lup listened in on the bedroom and beamed as she collected her winnings from everyone around her.

Next to her, Lucretia started a new page in her books.

[keropin783]

The full moon energy this time surely rite ones, in one day all my ideas coming up but i felt so much tired and sleepy don't wanna do anything. But in the next day it seems i must finished everything. I'm back to my #postcrossing account after almost 2 year hiatus caused kind of issues. I remember i got any strength for that tiny card. So i want to send any strength to others too. This modification from my old sketch. I made it 8 years ago and i forgot it. Till i tidy up my old room. Found my old sketchbook. I redraw it. And i made it for a postcard for postcrossing friend in japan. Since she demands handmade postcard , i'm not confident honestly. But hope she'll like it. 2 days ago i made such combination colours and made another new colors gor my watercolor pans kkkk it's fun ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ https://www.instagram.com/p/CWcaIi8psrT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[whichwitchami]

Can you tell me some about tarot cards? Im getting the golden thread deck next week. Im highly interested in it, but know very little.

Hello Dearie!

Is there anything in particular you want to know? I’ll put some general info down but you’re welcome to send me a message with further questions if I don’t answer them for you! I wasn’t sure if you were looking into the history of tarot cards or ‘ohmygodihavethisthingwhatdoidowiththething???” So I kinda answered both to the best of my ability. 

History of Tarot (ish)

-Tarot goes back as far as the 15th century when it was just a card game. It wasn’t until the 18th  century that it started being used for divination (Wikipedia is my source because as much as I love you all, I’m too lazy to do real research) 

-Traditional Decks: A good beginner deck is the Rider Waite Deck. It has the most ‘universal’ imagery that a lot of decks are based off of. A  traditional deck is made up of the Major and Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana has 22 cards starting with the Fool and ending with the World. Major Arcana cards usually represent major life events or changes. The Minor Arcana is Made up of 4 Suits (Wands, Pentacles (sometimes called coins), Cups, Swords). Each Suit has ten numbered cards (Ace-Ten) and four Court or Face cards (Knight, Page, Queen, King), and usually has an element or area of your life related to it. Court cards can often represent an important person in your life. 

-Non Traditional Decks: There are so many tarot decks out there, not all of them will follow the imagery or ideas of the Rider Waite deck. They’ll often come with a guidebook that helps you understand their imagery and whatnot. 

“I have this Deck. What do I do with it?”

-Start by taking a deep breath and remembering that tarot is meant to be fun. Sure, we’ll get scary and deep and meaningful readings, but ultimately we’re here to have fun and bond with our decks. Tarot is meant to guide us, not be set in stone. They tell us what could/ will happen if we stay on the current path we’re on. 

-Get to know your deck and bond with it. Each deck has a different personality.  There are several ‘deck interview’ spreads you can do. I personally like this one and this one. Doing some sort of interview will help you learn the limits and strengths of your deck. You can also pull a card a day, spend time really analyzing it, the imagery, the meaning, what it makes you think of or feel. Bond with your deck by shuffling it absentmindedly while watching TV or listening to music. Sleep with it under your pillow, or take it in your bag when you run errands. Let it get to know you and your energy. 

-Find your reading style: How do you shuffle? For how long while asking your question? Do you cut the deck or pull the cards straight from the top? Each deck has its own preference so make sure you take that in mind as well, but do what feels most comfortable for you

Okay, now you’re ready for a reading. 

-Start by picking a question. Open ended is usually best. Shuffle the cards while thinking of your question. When you’re ready, pull as many cards as you need (this can be for a specific spread or just pulling a certain number of cards. I usually do 3 or 5). 

-Decide if you’re reading reversals or not (I’ll get to that soon). take a look at each of the cards individually, think about what they mean to you. Take into consideration how they interact. Each card has its own meanings, but combined with the cards next to it can be even more important. Try to look at the bigger picture as well as the details

-Don’t be afraid to be critical. There are times, rare times, where the cards just don’t work. None of the cards make sense together or in your life. Sometimes this is because what they’re talking about hasn’t happened yet, but sometimes you just have a bad spread, it happens. Shake it off and reshuffle if that’s the case. 

Tips, Tricks, Random things

-Reversals: Reversals are when you draw the card and its upside down. There are lots of ways to interpret reversals. Some read them as the opposite of the original meaning of the card, some read them as the person is experiencing a block in the area of their life the card appeals to. Others see it as excess. Some people don’t read reversals at all. This can be a personal preference or have something to do with the deck. My oracle deck doesn’t like reversed readings, so if a card in that deck is drawn upside down I just flip it right. With my shadowscapes deck I try to look at it intuitively before deciding if the reversal means anything at all. 

-Jumper Cards: These are cards that literally jump or fall out of your deck as you’re shuffling. Some believe that these cards really need to be paid attention to. Sometimes you just did a really poor job shuffling. Just like with reversals, its up to you to decide what to do with them. I tend to put it aside and see how it fits with the rest of the spread before deciding if its important or not. 

-Stalker cards: that one card you pull every time. Every. Time. For a while I was pulling the Emperor in every single spread I was doing for others. Ugh, it was torture. Stalker Cards will appear over and over until you get the meaning its trying to present to you. They’re important and should be paid attention to. @oceanwildatelier has this really cool idea of going through your deck each day, finding the card, and looking at the card on either side of it to get some deeper insight into what its trying to tell you. 

-Spreads: you can use them if you want, but you don’t have to. There are several 3 card varieties, and tumblr is a great place to find all kinds of spreads for every situation. I like to use them sometimes, but most often I just pull three or five cards depending on how in depth of a message I want. 

-Yes/No Questions: some people can do yes/no with tarot. I personally find it very difficult because my cards don’t give me consistent answers this way. The Easiest way to do yes/no with tarot is to ask your question and flip over the card. If its right side up, it’s a yes. If its reversed, its a no. You can also do this with three cards, two up or all up means yes, two down or all down means no. 

-don’t be afraid to joke around with your deck. I call my cards sassy all the time because they are. I’ve spent several minutes shuffling and redrawing spreads because I didn’t want to hear what the cards had to say, just to get the same cards over and over. I called them sassy and rude each time. Like I said at the beginning of this post: the cards are meant to be fun, don’t get too stuck up in the process, find what works for you and only use them if its enjoyable for you. 

Remember that tarot is meant to be fun, but it can hold a lot of meaning if you let it. If you pull a spread warning you of something big and scary to come, listen. Don’t let the fear consume you, but be alert. There is power in these little bits of card stock and ink, as weird as that is sometimes. 

ummm… I don’t know if I have anything more to say for now… peeps feel free to add to this, or send me questions if there’s something more specific you wanna know about!