#remember George is inside the golem

[roleplayingorchids]

Open RP: George

Sitting in an open field sits an incredibly huge iron golem, it is at least double the size of a normal one.

Its eyes look down upon you as you come closer

Will you communicate with the iron giant?

(old drawing 😅)

[a-lumos-in-the-nox]

A Very Weasley Christmas

A/N Post-It Note: Here's the 2nd Christmas piece. How did I pack so much fluff in less than 800 words idk, my past college professors would be proud I could tell a story in 800 words. :)

Summary: Stella's first Christmas married to George, at The Burrow with everyone.

Words: 790

Stella was getting dressed to leave for her first Christmas with the Weasley's as an actual Weasley. It sounded silly but this Christmas felt different than the others. yea, she spent a few Christmases with the Weasley's before. But, something about this one felt different and she smiled about it as she got dressed. Pulling on a sweater, pants, fuzzy socks and her boots.

The last thing was her jewelry each piece she wore was special to her. The oakwood engagement ring, oak trees were everywhere in her myths they meant strength, growth, and love. It was also her favorite tree, her wedding ring was her new favorite. It was made out of copper which was a perfect lighting conductor and also perfect for an elemental witch that could make storms in the palm of her hands. Both of her rings were made by George. She grinned softly at the memory. It meant the world to her that he still found ways to awe her through the years.

She heard the door open to their bedroom.

"Ready, Stell?" Turning to George he smiled at her.

"Good thing that's not my sweater or we'd be late to Christmas." He teased.

Stella looked at him unamused, she grabbed his hand & apparated them out of their home.

A lot of red heads and their spouses were clustered in and around the burrow chatting and enjoying the Christmas cheer. Stella & George popped up in the front yard.

"Stellaaaaa!" She heard a ecstatic voice call from behind her. It was Angie. Stella dropped George's hand & ran to hug her.

Besides Jo, Luna and Hermione. Angie became one of Stella's friends almost instantly. They had a lot in common.

"How come your not that excited to see me, Pyro?" Fred told.

Stella stuck her tongue out at him.

"I see you everyday I don't know what your talking about." She quipped back.

Angie laughed & the two young women walked away arms linked together chatting away & leaving their husbands with dumbfounded looks on their faces.

Once inside everyone exchanged hugs, hello's, catch ups. Molly served food and many baked goods. Stella got to talk to Charlie, he didn't get to talk to her much at the wedding.

"Are you really from Asgard?" Charlie asked a bit too loud & three family members confirmed it, at the table. Stella snickered at the response.

"What kind of creatures do you have?"

She took a breath to remember a few.

"Giant bees, a six legged horse, trolls, golems…" She listed.

"How much do you know about Vikings of the past, Charlie?" Stella asked.

"A little bit."

George, Angie and Fred turned their heads to the conversation Stella was having. Just to see his reaction. She took a sip of her mug before giving him an answer casually.

"The gods they worship, that was my family."

Charlie almost chocked on his food, Some of his brothers laughed at him.

He continued to ask Stella many questions. She answered all of them.

Charlie stared off in shock for a little bit, after she told him all the wonders of where she came from. George patted him on the back.

"Try not to think about it all at once." He told at him.

"Last question, Stella." She gestured for him to continue.

"How did you end up going to Hogwarts?"

"Dumbledore, who else."

He nodded his head.

"Alright! You lot it's time for your favorite tradition! Grab a seat, come on!" Molly announced around the room. Everyone scrambled into the living room. Somehow Stella & Angie ended up in the middle of the room so they just sat there.

Boxes were passed around, as soon as everyone got one. Everyone opened theirs. Stella's face lit up when she opened the box, then she cried tears of joy a bit. Inside was a purple sweater with an 'S' stitched in the middle. She got up and hugged Molly. The matriarch hugged her too.

George gazed at her. Charlie stood next to him and could tell his brother really loved that girl. He didn't mean to pry but was just generally curious so he asked George why the tearful reaction.

"Her family of Gods banished her the summer of her 5th year. And she showed up on our doorstep & Mum did what she does best."

Charlie smiled and nodded. Their Mum was infamous for taking in anyone who needed anything weather it was a place to stay, a home to come to for the holidays etc. Unlimited love lived within the walls of the burrow and seeped itself into all of the Weasley children one way or another.

George left his brothers side and went to go hug Stella in her new favorite sweater.

Tag: @redheadspark

[ramzawrites]

ayye, im glad you like the bottle idea! id be happy to let you use the idea for a fic, go right ahead! :D

i cant tell you some stuff about c!krabs' childhood life because thatll be for a fic im planning on making, but i can tell you a couple of details!! c!krabs is obviously mexican american, similar to myself she has two mexican parents but was born in a majorly american place. she was usually sheltered from going outside of her property and engaging with too many village folk because her parents didnt want her to get smarter than them, in short they were selfish a$$hats. they always used to claim that they wanted to protect c!krabs and keep her safe, but she was pretty similar to how she was when shes older and didnt completely buy it. thats all im gonna expose about the parents cause its gonna be used for lore but i can share more information on her general life in the past! she lived in a two story house that had a small backyard that she could go in every now and again. she had a bit of freedom, sometimes she would be able to go out to the shops with one of her parents in very close proximity. they would give her a small amount of money each time and let her buy anything she wanted with that spending money, which she used on paper and pens/pencils. each time she recieved money she saved a little bit and kept the collected money inside of a box under her bed where she kept other things that she held dear. sometimes she also used to sneak out of the house at night by sliding down the roof from her window and landing on the pile of hay in the backyard and jumped the fence. she went out on the town and was fascinated by the blacksmith, the glowing metal, the way he forged such a beautiful and powerful weapon out of a stick and some ore fascinated her. she also thought the villages welder was really sick as well, the way they repaired so many different things, the sparks that flew every time they welded the metal filler rod in the imperfections was so cool to c!krabs. she was only ever able to see them every so often though, because the townspeople werent very friendly. most of the people were white americans. they werent as bad to c!krabs' parents because they helped out a lot in the village, but since c!krabs was just a child that wandered around at night, she was often ridiculed, made fun of, and discriminated because shes hispanic which was very obvious due to her tan skin, having a hard time speaking english because of being sheltered, and her accent. so she wore a cloak whenever she went out. she never really had any childhood friends other than c!tubbo and c!fundy then.

but yeah man, c!krabs is a money maker, what can i say? shes making bank!! and yeah, she can replace her iron parts! thats one of the reasons she learned how to weld and blacksmith after all! and of course this means that every now and then c!krabs would weld onto herself some super sick attatchments! sometimes when she participates in wars she welds spikes onto her iron knuckles so that her punches really hurt. (i just thought of this but what if one day c!krabs and c!george were doing a trade and just hanging out when c!george makes a really good trade to c!krabs but in return she has to weld herself a cat ear on the left side of her head and make her iron hand have a sort of padded-like look to it like a cat. she begrudgingly did it and when she showed c!george, he took a picture of her and sent it to the general messages of the server through his comm and said "GUYS KRABS ISNT PART GOLEM SHES ACTUALLY PART CAT!!!" and everyone was either confused, playfully disgusted, or laughing their a$$es off and c!krabs was just like "GEORGE WHAT THE F-CK GUYS DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES COLORBLIND")

honestly if c!quackity hadnt jumped to conclusions im sure that he and c!krabs would be super sick homies for sure. but she DOES give therapy to anyone who asks for it, no matter who it is. she would just take her weapons and splash potions of poison with her in case it was ever someone who she didnt trust like c!schlatt, which he did have quite a few appointments with her during his manburg days.

Aw man :( That’s sad about her childhood! Does she stll somehow miss her parents? Is there no contact at all? I do love though that she has been interesting in blacksmithing and iron work for a while now! If I remember correctly c!Krabs was turned into an Iron Golem Hybrid correct? I sadly can’t find the first post atm :( But if I remember correctly it is in a really sad way ironic how she loved iron works before

Yo that’s such a smart idea! Adding spikes to her knuckles etc! I’m guessing it doesn’t really hurt so it’s fine? I mean the adding parts to her body, if that hurts. But I do love her shenanigans with c!George haha, I’m sure she had problems living that down after that haha

Bit sad about c!Quackity’s and c!Krabs relationship :( Really wish the two could be friends but c!Quackity screwed that up himself sooooo, oh well

Oh that is an intersting tidbit though that c!Schlatt was in for therapy with her 👀how did she feel about that? Conflicted or like she genuinley wanted to help him, maybe even hoping that helping him would help in return the others suffering under his rule?

[ryanmeft]

Mortal Engines Movie Review

Maybe it’s just my personal make-up and my love of larger-than-life fantasy, but yes, I can work up an interest in a desolated future world populated by mobile cities on tank treads that prey on settlements like ancient beasts lumbering across prehistoric tundra. It’s popular among critics to dunk on the very ideas of such things, as if only real-world character pieces can be worth viewing. What’s harder to stomach is when the folks making the film don’t seem too invested in their own story. Dialogue in this movie is entirely meant to move the action along, and most characters are so underdeveloped they might as well be named Plot Device. It’s a pretty empty world.

Long story short: a thousand years ago, we blew ourselves up with Evil Bad Weapons, and the world that’s left is dominated by moving cities that look like a cross between Transformers and populated tanks. They roam the world, attempting to prey on smaller cities and permanent settlements for resources. The most powerful of these is London-To-Go, which has many layers topped off by St. Paul’s Cathedral, the only building not to get nukefied. It is ruled by a man named Valentine (Hugo Weaving), whose grand plan is develop a way of sustaining the city without absorbing other cities so he can---kill more cities.

No, it doesn’t make much sense, but Weaving can play a baddie like few others, and in the early scenes of the film, he injects his character with the only complexity we see. He seems to genuinely have the fate of the city in mind, though only he, in his view, is qualified to judge what that fate should be. He is opposed in this by a mystery woman with a scar across her face named Hester Shore (Hera Hilmar), and although the fact he murdered her mother to acquire a piece of mysterious technology seems, in the film, like it is supposed to be a spoiler, the trailers all make it so obvious people who haven’t seen them probably know. She fails in her one shot due to the interference of a naive pretty boy with the Dickensish name of Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan), who hears too much in his pursuit of her and winds up pushed out of the city by Valentine, who then sics a Golem-like bounty hunter (Stephen Lang behind probably a few million dollars’ worth of CG) on her. There’s a connection between her and the hunter that’s too nonsensical to even think about. They are eventually joined by an ass-kicking Chinese stereotype (Jihae). Back on London Tank, there’s a reasonably engaging mystery as to what is actually being done inside St. Paul’s. but this plot focuses on the two dullest characters, Valentine’s daughter (Leila George) and a totally random engineer (Ronan Raftery). I gather from bits of dialogue that these characters might have had some place in Philip Reeve’s novels, but the movie has absolutely no time to waste on any of them.

What happens, why it happens, and what anyone feels about it is completely irrelevant to the film, which spend about 20 bucks on anything that isn’t special effects, costumes and choreography. In this regard, the film is a rousing success, as long as you’re willing to accept a Steampunk post-apocalyptic world. I can understand that not being your cup of tea, but just as I wouldn’t demand that a superhero movie be an LGBT drama, I looked at this one for what it was. The lumbering London evoked memories of Hayao’s Miyazaki’s animated rendition of Howl’s Moving Castle, a clanking, creaking collection of parts that seems to stay together more through sheer force of will than any fantasy ideas of technology. The giant treads it leaves behind end up functioning as canyons threaded throughout the land, and roads for Hester and Tom to navigate. A slaver city evokes Waterworld, which is never going to be remembered as art but had better sets than you recall. A floating city consisting of many docked airships lashed together horizontally reminded me of the wondrous locales of games like Final Fantasy. Perhaps the reason these sights are themselves unjustly ragged on by some critics is they draw from a wide variety of sources, and things like pulps and video games are still appreciate by precious few. The world that Peter Jackson and his team of producers spent 150 million bucks on, at least, gives us our money’s worth.

Why, then, if Jackson is joined on the script by his faithful collaborators Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, is it so mind-numbingly dull? Weaving and Hilmar, in a role that would make her famous in a different film, show the only passion on display, and they’re fighting the screenplay for every inch of it. This team managed to both stay true to J.R.R. Tolkien’s high fantasy while punching up the dialogue just enough for Hollywood, creating modern blockbuster filmmaking in the process. They made a King Kong that contained humor, pathos, variety and thrills and was underappreciated by impatient audiences. We know full well they do not have tin ears. It seems questionable to blame director Christian Rivers, previously Jackson’s career-long storyboard artist, when he’s so closely tied to his former boss. Then again, perhaps Jackson did what few producers in Hollywood seem to do, and gave his man free rein. In this case, sadly, it would have been better to provide a steady hand.

That the movie doesn’t work is sad, because we desperately need new blood in the fantasy genre. Jackson and company may have ushered in a new era almost twenty years ago, but the genre then gave itself over to dull work that mostly looked and felt the same, and allowed superheroes to take the throne as the winning pop culture icons; by the time Jackson made the Hobbit movies, their era had passed. Well-meaning fantasy lovers keep trying to revive them, and if efforts like this are the best we’re going to get, they’ll have to keep on trying.

Verdict: Not Recommended (1 out of 4 stars)

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

 You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

 Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

[therapybg]

What is a Golem?

In the Lord of the rings what does Gollum do? What does he want? Who does he want if for?

There is a moment to ask questions. I'm going to start this one with an aside about Ireland. Ireland has a traveling people, we call them travelers (they call themselves travelers). Some are settled, some move, some are seasonal, despite that they are a distinct group. They are indistinguishable in nearly every aspect from the "settled." As a foreigner you could not tell the difference. An ancient battle between rovers and drovers, herders and hunters, pastoralism and predation has led to different ways of perceiving the world. I'm a farmer by upbringing, but I know the ways and means of the hunter too. I figuratively have a foot in both camps. There is a game played by both "sides." The traveler is often shunted on from his or her "halting" site by the local settled police. I've seen at first hand the quality of official traveler halting sites.  A traveler often receives prejudice and unfair treatment. But the traveling person is well able to dish it out too, despite the "victim status." A travelling person will often ask me many questions in sequences (the more you know) but will divulge little information of any value to me. He or she will claim victimhood as a right, not as a tautology, but as a well defined negotiating position in a sequence. If it is an older traveler woman she may offer to tell my fortune, if I "cross her palm with silver." Do you have any scrap? Do you have any copper? Can you spare a few quid, sir? Do you want those gates? You're very good, sir! Remember the tongue is a powerful weapon both in the personal and the public sphere. I have no animosity to travelers, but I'm not often trustful of the objectives. A traveler man will ask me for favors, but not often deliver favors to me. A traveler may take me for a"mark" until I show I'm aware of the game. The traveler is educated enough to know that he preys on the customs of the settled, as a wolf would on sheep, although he cannot admit it (or the illusion disappears).  Of course there are settled who do the same. It's not a linear quality in any way, or a mark of a particular group, it is a set of tactics that become burnished in use. The traveler would argue that by enclosing the land, the settler has removed his hunting grounds and the enmity is of two tribes inhabiting one land.  This historical argument holds water too. There are strong rules within traveler society; marriage is sacrosanct, male honor is a currency.  A man's word is his bond *among the group. You may lie as much as you want to a settled. There are valid reasons for all of these things in a world without access to court, or the ability to pursue a lien. It's not a morality tale, it is about pursuit of goals and objectives. I There are mountains of book on "in group reciprocation, altruism and genetic inheritance. The Israelis have a lot of the same stuff going on. Although they are planted settlers, many are not native to the region, they survive with the support of the US and the UK against the combined might of their Arab, Persian and Egyptian  neighbors, among others.  The source of their power is having the ear of the powerful in the US and UK, the Rothschild banking syndicate, a more technically advanced country than many of their neighbors, and their diaspora in those countries. Having the the US and the UK targeted against "muslim" peoples is a fine tactic. Muslim is a very broad term indeed, you may as well use the term "Christian" and start fighting all of Europe, Latin America and Russia at the same time? Control of media is a prerequisite for this tactic, if you lose the media, you lose the advantage. We discussed this before. If an Irish traveller was viewing the scenario: he would see that settled will fight settled, lose their best men, which might be replaced by mine (the meek shall inherit..?). Gain by deception and deceit, not thru force of arms. The stupid deserve their fate is the logical position. It is an ancient gambit used by schoolchildren everywhere: get the big guy to do your bullying for you. I note that girls often use this gambit, playing on a guy's honor. Interesting, the girl doesn't need "honor" to be believed, she claims victimhood and others "rally" to the cause. Claim "racism" Claim "intolerance" Claim "victim status" then bash the "other" with "right" on your side. Self Offence. Claim "racism" Claim "intolerance" Claim "victim status" then bash the "other" with "right" on your side. Self Offence. All the time, 24/7, then use your "magic" megaphone position: subvert, subvert, subvert the conversation, the ideas, the focus of debate. Move tolerance over until it is acceptance, move acceptance over until it is observance, move observance over until it is dogma. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat till you get totalitarianism. Kill the Kulaks. Done. Next ...starve. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_famine_of_1932%E2%80%9333 It is a tactic, not an aberration. Deceive, lie, misdirect, use a pretty assistant, use smoke, use mirrors, use devices, uses suggestion, use the stage you construct. Create a dark room. Become the light. I am not saying that a garrison in the Middle East is not favorable for World powers, but I do wonder when the tail started wagging the dog, officially? I have an idea about that too :) Where is the weakness in this plan? Simple answer: Love is the answer. If the Americans wake up and value their own youth? If the Americans laugh at the idea of being the world's policeman? If the Americans support Americans first? If Americans print their own money? If they find out that 9-11 was not a "muslim" operation? If the Americans make peace with Libyans, Syrians, Egyptians, Iraqis, Iranians, Yemenis, Saudis and Afghanis? Would you like to play a game? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086567/ When I did my original piece about Kennedy, I noted that some ears perked up. Why would that be I asked myself? I knew a partial answer, I didn't think they'd be quite so twitchy just yet :)...we're not there yet, yet. “As I wrote Mr. Ben-Gurion, this government’s commitment to and support of Israel could be seriously jeopardized if it should be thought that we were unable to obtain reliable information on a subject as vital to peace as Israel’s effort in the nuclear field,” the telegram said."https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora/President-Kennedy-gave-Israel-a-strong-warning-about-its-nuclear-reactor-in-1963-589107 I noted that Israeli embassies closed shop all over the world at very short notice recently. I also noticed a projected date for a huge false flag event on the weekend of November 3rd in Seattle. The projected result of this event: an ICBM attack on the city during a football game was to create a war *with whoever would be deemed the perpetrator of this killing of over 1m people,  *like 9-11 was. It didn't happen (that doesn't mean it wasn't planned to happen on that date). Understand that these people are working to a script. We've discussed the Epstein - Mossad - C_A  connection.  We've seen how large corporate entities like hellywood and the news media are virulently anti-Trump and are doing everything possible to kill that story.  Whoever is pushing these things is working in the shadows, but it is coming into the light all over the world. The whole picture has a vague tint of yellow to it: Orange man Bad.  Arab man bad. White man bad. Everyone bad, except..."minorities." Why are they so focused on sexually deviant lifestyles: gays, transexuals, pronouning, pedos? Ask yourself the question. Then ask why is the "heartland," "mom, pop and apple pie, "middle America, nuclear family, so pro Trump? There is an answer. Why do they call Trump a racist *specifically? Is it to get ahead of a story? Let's return to Kennedy for a moment... I was watching a show on YouTube a while back, from a guy who later went missing, Bill Smith. It was about the Yad Kennedy memorial in Israel. "The 60-foot high (18 m) memorial is shaped like the stump of a felled tree, symbolizing a life cut short.Inside is a bronze relief of Kennedy, with an eternal flame burning in the center."https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yad_Kennedy Smith makes the case that Jack Ruby was Jack Rubinstein who may have been connected to  Meyer Lansky.  Wikipedia makes the opposite assertion: The Commission indicated that there was not a "significant link between Ruby and organized crime" and said he acted independently in killing Oswald. Of course he did, they all do. In September 1964, the Warren Commission concluded that Ruby acted alone in killing Oswald. Various groups believed Ruby was involved with major figures in organized crime and that he killed Oswald as part of an overall plot surrounding the assassination of Kennedy." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Ruby We know George Bush Sr. was in Dallas. He rose to head the C_A.  We know what became of the C_A. We're pretty sure junior had a connection to 9-11 and he had some friends over for the event. We are finding out a lot of stuff which has been buried, it's piling up, in fact.

When all this is done, we might have to look who is printing the money? And who is doing the dying? A reckoning, you might call it. I'm not saying it is Israel (Israel didn't pay for the monument, others did). There is a script. It is not "Arabs, nor white men, nor Muslims, nor Israelis.  I'm saying there is a hidden hand.

What if the end they so desperately seek, becomes their end?  Gollum : Myyyy... Precious! Smeagol : The precious will be ours... once the Hobbitses are dead!   As my Irish traveler friends would put it: "Sher you're a beast of a man, fair dues. Now, let's be seein ya, fien."   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gollum https://vocal.media/geeks/gollum-a-warning-to-us-all   https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora/President-Kennedy-gave-Israel-a-strong-warning-about-its-nuclear-reactor-in-1963-589107   Read the full article

[hideandseaking]

Last time on Nikky’s World of Darkness gameshow of PAIN, all of which can be read here

Today’s crew is: Lady MacBeth the Dragon, Pap the 5′5″ Poison Dart Frog, Hana Doku the 6″ Poison Dart Frog, SUCC the Kirby Slug, and Duke the Gentleman that @jutopa guest starred with today

After arriving back from their 2nd round, the group is immediately given a new companion for their Round 3; a human gentleman by the name of Duke Masterman Zackery

He is immediately shocked to see an array of creatures and believes they’re all demons

“Okay, introduce yourself...” “......Pap.” “............” “Me Pap.” “..........................Okay maybe describe yourself to him?” “...........Big frog”

After the trainwreck of formalities, they are given the task to save a king! They are also given an alarm clock that turns a body part of theirs into wood whenever it rings, and they are limited to speaking only in one syllable sentences

They’re hurled into the new world for this round and land on cushy, shiny green leaves... A whole field of them in a giant clearing actually

They realize soon that it’s poison ivy.... but can’t say poison ivy so they just say “Bad! Leaf bad!”

Honestly the one syllable limitation is too funny throughout the whole session

The alarm clock goes off and gives everyone a wooden body part: Hana Doke’s balls of her feet, Lady MacBeth’s nipples (or the scaley counterparts), Pap’s shoulders, SUCC’s backside, and Duke’s wrists

This immediately pissed everyone off and they try to destroy the clock

Instead they just lost it amongst the leaves and decide to leave it there

A kingdom made out of the poison ivy leaves erects itself at the sound of the alarm clock, and a wall reaching around to cover it blocks their sight from the kingdom

Lady MacBeth offers to fly everyone over the wall, but ends up smacking into the wall, causing Hana and Duke to fall back down into the ground

“Okay... I’m going to have Lady MacBeth just yell ‘Good luck!’ to them and then fly towards the castle that she sees in the middle”

Duke picks up Hana and puts her into his satchel as they walk around to find a door

The alarm clock is in the satchel RIP they tried to discuss it but the lack of syllables made it hard....

They find a door to see earth elementals guarding it but ultimately let the two in

Apparently it’s a kingdom of earth elementals

Duke remembers that poison ivy doesn’t set until around 2 hours after it’s rubbed on the skin so they try to find “a bath” since they can’t say water

They talk to a shopkeeper who directs them to an inn district to find some baths

Meanwhile, LM, Pap, and SUCC get to the castle where they ask the “golems” about their missing king and caused a slight panic until a royal ambassador picks them up and brings them to a private place to tell them to shut up

“What’s the matter?” “Matter is two syllables” “Um... what happened- Fuck that’s two syllables. Um. What has there- no no.”

The ambassador explains that the king was kidnapped by human assassins two nights ago and no one knows about it yet

“We want to help” “And how do I know you just won’t take the king then for ransom as his current captors are?” “Um... we are not in it for the wealth”

Pap and SUCC are giggling just watching LM struggle with trying to talk in one syllable

Eventually LM gets the ransom note and a map out of the ambassador for directions to the assassin’s hideout, he also gives them a quartz stone to give to the farmers whose farmland they need to cross in between. The three of them leave the castle

Back to Hana and Duke: they reach and inn and find a bathroom  with a sink and a toilet where they can wash themselves from the poison ivy

Except the water is just runny mud

They both try it anyway and Hana takes a mud bath while Duke washes his hands in mud and dries it off with his handkerchief

They leave and make their way to the castle, where they see more guards around the entrance

But the guards are friendly and let them in

“You see your friends leaving while you’re walking in” “I wouldn’t call them friends.....”

“Hey guys!” “Fuck you!”

Instead of trying to fly again, they decide to walk through the town back to the outskirts to go find the king... It would’ve been nice if everyone wasn’t gawking and screaming at the 15ft dragon.........

They make their way to the outskirts and go towards the farmland they need to cross to. It ends up being a Tangerine Orchard!

“I’m going to eat those tangerines” “Me too” “Well, it’s open so go ahead”

“How long has it been since we last ate” “Well, for everyone who isn’t Duke, probably 8 hours now” “Oh god, I’m starving I’m going to eat one”

LM and Duke inspect the tangerines to find that they’re perfectly delicious. Hana Doku can’t even finish one tangerine, Pap eats about 3, and SUCC.....

SUCC tries to eat a tree whole

“You have to roll for that” “Okay. I got 2 successes” “Yea, you suck in two big branches and get like.... 20 tangerines in you, but you can’t get it all down so there are just branches sticking out of your mouth and trying to poke through your body”

“You’re grotesquely choking. It’s terrifying for everyone to watch.” [CHOKING SOUNDS START FROM CALL]

The farmers of the orchard, a bunch of 5ft tall rats, arrive at the sounds of the choking and accuse them of stealing until they give up the quartz

“You can’t just come in here on the king’s name and eat our tangerines....” “Well we did so.....”

Hana tries to help SUCC to no avail.... And then the whole party except LM (the one with the Strength score to actually be of use) tries to help SUCC

“I gotta eat the branches. #SpittersAreQuitters”

“Honestly, we’ll take the quartz and not punish you guys for breaking one of our trees since this seems to be punishment enough”

They roll 4 separate occasions to get the branches down, to which it only works when SUCC rolls an exceptional success and gulps down the rest of the branches easily

The rat farmers leave them to pass through and while they’re walking through the alarm clock sounds again. The wooden body parts added on are: Hana Doku’s inner mouth (now she can’t speak), Lady MacBeth’s upper arms, Pap’s ass, SUCC’s armpits, and Duke’s index fingers

“Can I even pull the trigger to my guns now!?” “You can, but slower....”

LM and SUCC begin to feel the effects of the humid environment and look like theyre melting

SUCC uses a spell to create a cold aura around LM because “She’ll be more help than I will be” but SUCC gets in her arms and feels better too

They move out of the orchard into more woods.... and don’t know where to go....

“Um... well we don’t know what to do.” “Wow, too bad I didn’t give you guys a map earlier.” “Oh shit we have a map!”

They start to make their way to the assassin hideout, where they roll perception checks and a murder of crows swoops down at them then arches back up

Hana fires an arrow at one of them and gets it right through the windpipe

She tries to pluck its feathers and break it’s talon off, causing some disturbance between Hana and Pap

“Why did you do that.” [silence] “Why did you do that? Why did you kill it?” [more silence] “Dude, I can’t talk because of my mouth, so I’m just going to keep doing my thing.”

They walk through the woods more to find a tall (like 30ft tall) wood cabin in a clearing

“Is this the right place?” “I don’t know. It doesn’t look very assuming.” “Yea and there’s only really one window.” “Is this even the place?” “Let’s just go past it.” “Okay.” “K.” “Alright.”

Hana Doku is literally trying to get their attention while making this decision to tell them to check the map

LM: “Oh wait! We have a map!” HD: [facepalms]

LM decides that she should go scope out the top window to check before they move on

When she flies up to check, she immediately is met with 3 arrows launching at her, 2 of which land inside of her nostrils

She looses her concentration and falls to the ground, causing a loud noise, and 3 assassins run out of the building ready to fight

As they fight, LM is fighting unconsciousness and using an Ice Breath, Pap is running around patching everyone up, SUCC suffocates one of assassins, Duke shoots one in the leg and then gets shot in the arm, and Hana takes out two other assassins, one of which she shoots an arrow into her eye

Duke keeps trying to pull the arrow out of his arm

“Are you going to pull the arrow out to fix me up?” “Uh, no! Out of character, I learned in my first aid class that you do not remove an object in the skin, but patch around it, until it can be further dealt with! I’m so smart!” “Okay, sure, now roll Intelligence + Medicine”

“Well, SUCC, you have an arrow in your stomach, but it’s nothing to worry about”

With two dead and one unconscious, Hana goes over to the unconscious one to stab her in her other eye, but Duke stops her from harming the woman further

LM sits down and immediately falls unconscious on the group

Duke and Hana tie up the woman with her own rope, and Pap patches everyone up to the best of his abilities

LM heals her one point to wake up and Pap decides to stay outside with her while SUCC, Hana, and Duke go inside the building

When they go inside, the first floor is much like a house with a kitchen, living room, and a table with playing cards on it

They search the kitchen and find a first aid kit, and after Hana unsuccessfully tries to open the fridge and SUCC has to open it, they make 7 different types of sandwiches for LM and for the king they still need to rescue

When they walk outside to give LM the sandwiches, the alarm rings again and the wooden body parts become: Hana’s elbows, LM’s nostrils, Pap’s eyeballs, SUCC’s slime (it becomes splinters like a hedgehog or smth), and Duke’s teeth

“Great! Now we have a frog with a wooden mouth, another frog who is blind, Pinnochio the Dragon, a wooden cannonball, and George Washington himself!”

They all look at each other and also realize that the poison ivy is starting to set rashes on their skin

“WE FORGOT ABOUT THE POISON IVY UHG!!”

The alarm causes more assassins to appear out of the building, to which Hana runs away, Duke tries to pick up SUCC and fails, so he just starts to run while leading Pap by the hand, SUCC dragging himself by his tongue away from them, and LM trying to reason with them

“I did not kill them! ....Oh I rolled 0 successes on that lie” “Yea, they don’t believe you at all and draw their crossbows nearer....” “Okay, I’m going to fly away. ......Nope. Nope. I got 0 successes there too.” “Yea, you just take off for a second but flop down again. This causes 2 more to come out and you’re surrounded by 4 assassins now.” “I just plead for them to kill me.”

And that’s where we ended! Join us next time for more adventure and excitement on Nikky’s WoD Gameshow!!!