#releasefromtrauma

[yolizzles84]

*disclaimer* [This is long] #YogaTaughtMe that stretching myself beyond my comfort zone, reconnecting with myself, past pains, traumas and extreme bouts of depression, internally I have been my own biggest diversion from the personal success of my own happiness. I have been capable all along, but was not ready for what I have now. My body and personality were something I came to have deep shame for because it meant I could attract unwarranted attention from older men in church and otherwise. I stopped doing liturgical dances at school and church, I stopped wanting to lead worship even though I adored the feeling of being washed over in spiritual energy and I stopped most physical activity at the risk of being too sexy. When you get sick of yourself and decide for yourself that you don’t like what you’ve been eating, you become the word I’ve been hearing from my sons’ tablets, an “Excavator” and painfully dig yourself out. (don’t worry, you are just on the other side of your come up). I had a chance today, to exercise my physical and mental and parental health; I told my oldest: “It’s not fair for you to get in trouble for being yourself. [this is the only thing I ever got in trouble for in school.] As long as you like who you are, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks; regardless of who they are.” As a mom of multiples, I thought I was not owed personal happiness and the sexiness that is freedom alongside the freedom that is my sexiness. I’ve always celebrated others; now I celebrate me and the beauty that I have created. My children enjoy happy mommy so much more, they’ve finally calmed down enough to express without just tears or whining. I finally understand: #NoMatterWhatItTakesBendDontBreak #IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIDNTBREAK #RespectingTheHonorInMyMaternity #FinallyFeedingMyFamily #ReleaseFromTrauma #FeelsLikeILost100pounds #StressToSuccess #AngerIsHeavySoTravelLight #SoulVomitIsHealthyForGrowth #Catharsis #TakeTimeForYourself #SelfLoveIsTherapy #SelfLoveIsSexy #ItsOkayToBeHappy #ItsOkayToBeYourself #IAmASafeHaven #MasterManifester #LivingForLove #LivingForPeace #LivingForMe #ForgivenessTrulyIs4U #BeThereForYourself