#relda smythe

[limasgossip]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐉𝐀𝐙𝐙: 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

All That Jazz is a monthly column written by Jasmine Silva. For all intended purposes, all the information Jasmine posts is considered alleged information and should NOT be considered fact for legality reasons. However, she’s fairly certain that her sources are reliable and would hold up in a court of law.

PAGE ONE: Stories of the Month

APARTMENT BUDDIES OR LOVERS?:

Look, I love a good back and forth love story, but can these two give it up already? @devonrose96​ and @monixberry​ live together which, hello? That basically tells me that they’re fucking. It’s just like how I think Billie Puckerman and Maise Rose are 100% sapphic together. Personally, I think Devon and Monica should just put their friendship on the back burner and start making out. Who’s with me?

MAISIE’S BIG MEATY SANDWICH!:

While @maisierose​ may be known for crying outside of Breadstix and falling in love with every man she lays eyes on, I’ve got something crazy for you. She’s in a fourway! Not literally, but listen to this. Everyone knows it’s just a matter of time before @xjonahx​ puts a label on this Pisces, but she’s wooing TWO other men. Yep, you heard me. Sources say Maisie was spotted out on a date with @dearjacobsamuel. Apparently the embarrassment from Breadstix wasn’t enough, but she’s also been seen multiple times with @theomcintosh at Rosalita’s Roadhouse. If twenty years from now, Jonah, Jake, and Theo show up in Greece because a young girl invited them to her wedding, we’ll all know who the Baby Mamma (Mia) is.

THE HORRORS AT THE AMERICAN FAMILY MOTEL:

I love a good little sexual exploration. We all do it! But none do it like @xsethappeal. I know he denied it, but my sources told me that there was an orgy last week at the American Family Motel. So sorry to whichever Puckerman had to clean that one up, but Seth Evans wasn’t just involved... he was the ring leader of the whole thing! Everyone in attendance were either regulars at Scandals or random people Seth found on Craigslist. I suggest Seth take himself down to the local clinic!

CONT. ON PAGE ONE: HOTTIES @ THE LFD

It’s no secret that the firefighters of Lima are objectively the hottest men and women to walk the face of the Earth, but I’m someone who simply can’t wait to see those scandalous calendars so I’d much rather give you, my dear followers, my definitive ranking on who’s hot and who’s not (Spoiler: They’re all hot. Some are just hotter than others)

Coming in at number one is our very own firelady @hattiewilde! Resident turned Lima Newcomer, Hattie’s the girl everyone dreams to get under. After all, I’d let her save me from a burning building!

Coming in at number two is one of Lima’s many FDILF’s (Fire Dad I’d Like To Fuck) Puck Puckerman @firexpuck! Or is it Noah? Honestly, I don’t care enough to know because all I know are those washboard abs baby!

Coming out in our middle spot is @xjonahx! He’s sweet and hot, what more could a girl want?

And last but certainly not least, in number four we’ve got @firefightingryanc! Honestly, manz would rank number one if it weren’t for the fact that every time his trap opens, it ends in something that involves his daughter. Can you say BORING? Seriously, dudes a snooze fest.

PAGE TWO: Who Got Down & Dirty @ Breadstix?

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for. I know, I know, Jasmine you know who everyone went home with? Tell me more, tell me more! Here’s the list of who went home with who and let me just say, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing shotgun weddings and positive pregnancy tests from a few of these bunches!

@hopeandtruth left a $200 dollar bill on her date with new beau @xsethappeal, demanding him to come with her. Can you say Dominatrix?

It’s no secret @blueberrysawyer and his date were macking on each other in the restaurant. Thank God they fled the scene before I had to see Breadstix porn. Although that wouldn’t be a terrible PornHub category, I guess.

Friend or foe? @theomcintosh and @hattiewilde are known for hating each other and their hot banter on the dash makes me need a fan, but turns out, the two ended up spending the night together!

While Maisie Rose ran out in tears and ditched @dearjacobsamuel, he didn’t let that stop his groove! My sources say they saw him getting in a car with a Breadstix waitress. Hot!

Good girl @annabananalima just couldn’t keep away from the older Puckerman boy, @firexpuck. Those two may be friends, but you better start adding benefits to the end of that.

Come on, there’s another Puckerman on this list? Well, while @lilyjanefabray wasn’t charmed by @elipucker, she was charmed by his Puckerman that lives down South, if you know what I mean.

Now, my favorite pairing. @clairestjames ended up on her blind date with her ex, @reldaxsmythe, but she didn’t go home with her nay-nay. Instead, my little sources tell me Claire was seen at Rosalita’s getting all cozy with @hunterxc. Alexa, play Best Friend’s Brother!

PAGE THREE: Monthly Rumors!

It’s no secret that I receive plenty of tips on a weekly basis. Some I end up personally talking about while some of the best end up in my column. Here’s the top SEVEN rumors that I just love (and believe in)!

@rossberryx is known for his luscious locks, but did you know it’s actually just a wig?

There’s a reason @smythemp3 didn’t stay in Paris and came back to Lima. He got married! But it didn’t end too well and after a pricey divorce, Sebastian had to move back home.

@limaboundblaine freaked out on a barista at the Lima Bean after she got his order wrong and threw his coffee at said barista.

@chandlerpierce won’t be in attendance for University of Lima fall semester. Why? Because she dropped out and joined the circus!

Did you know Salma Hayek is a good friend of the Smythe family? Apparently 30 years ago she had a baby that she put up for adoption. That baby? @reldaxsmythe.

@darcynderson and @stevievans are back on after he went to visit Darcy at her apartment.

@roseandprose got ditched at Breadstix just like her little sister. Apparently @firefightingryanc daughter was sick, but I have a feeling he just got one of his buddies to call him and say there was an “emergency”. I know I’ve used that excuse before.

[limafm]

MELISSA BARRERA, FEMALE, SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL; Is that ESMERELDA 'RELDA' SMYTHE I see getting a cup of joe at the Lima Bean? Sounds like them. Apparently, they’re THIRTY years old and I know from Instagram they seem to be GREGARIOUS but also SARCASTIC and are a VIDEOGRAPHER. Not to mention their feed reminds me of MESSY BUNS,COFFEE, CHANEL PERFUME. Here’s to hoping they get out of Lima soon!

CHARACTER INFO:

Birthday: March 21st, 1991

Family: Smythe

Relation: Adopted Sibling (Solo)

Birth Order: Eldest

Secret: She is trying to find her biological parents so she can learn more about herself.

THREE THINGS ABOUT RELDA:

when relda was just a baby, she was put into the foster care system. her biological parents not being ready to be parents seeing as they were only teenagers. she had bounced from family to family when the ones who took her in felt she wasn't the right fit for their family. it got to a point where she got used to going from place to place to where she built walls for herself. walls that kept her from being attached to her future family if she ever got adopted. at the age of 11 a nice family had taken her in and they fell in love with her when they got to know her.

living with the smythe family for a good few months she was worried they would soon send her back and she'd have to get sent back to the group home and wait for another family to adopt or foster her again. when she turned 13 they had surprised her into being apart of the family and finalized her adoption. the walls she had up still remained until she felt comfortable around her new family even if it took her awhile to adjust to her new family and her new home.

there were times where she kept to herself and didn't want to be a bother. she focused on music and singing along with making videos. she had fell in love with singing and participated in musicals so she could work on her improving on singing. later, she had taken an interest in video and editing. always finding something to film and editing it. it got to a point where she posted her work online then looked for a videography job in the area so she could become a videographer.

[limafm]

LIMAFM PRESENTS THEIR SECOND EVENT: BLIND DATES

Dating’s rough out there! And it’s even more rough when you live in Lima. You’ve either already dated everybody or you’re friends with too many people to even consider asking them out. This is where Lima’s very own Breadstix comes in to save the day! The Italian restaurant will be closing its doors FRIDAY, JULY 16TH at 7PM EST to host a blind date night! Singles around Lima rejoice! Assuming your character filled out a form to come that night, pairs have been selected which you won’t know about until you sit down at your assigned table. While the event is set to be on Friday at 7pm est you’re welcome to para or interact before then. Make sure to get spicy with what happens at your character’s date! Maybe your character got stood up, maybe your character got paired with an ex, maybe the date was great and you set up a second date, or maybe the date was so awful you had to have your best friend save the day! Feel free to get creative!

Listed below are the pairs which have been selected based on sexuality (if they are closeted, they have a straight passing pair) and an online randomizer:

PAIRINGS:

Hope Clarington & Seth Evans

Hattie Wilde & Theo McIntosh

Bunny Wilde & Stevie Evans

Elijah Puckerman & Lily-Jane Fabray

Max Hummel & Mercedes Jones

Matthew Schuester & Sawyer Berry

Noah Puckerman & Anna Hudson

Chandler Pierce & Devon Rose

Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe

Billie Puckerman & Jamie-Lynn Pierce

Jake Puckerman & Maisie Rose

Colby Cohen-Chang & Darcy Anderson

Relda Smythe & Claire St. James

Finn Hudson & Monica Berry

Ryan Cohen & Marley Rose

Julien Hudson & Blas Lopez

Evelyn Hayward & Lianndria Clarington

Ross Berry & Jonah Anderson

Pairings will be added accordingly with new characters

[limafm]

DUE TO NOT RESUMING ACTIVITY, PLEASE UNFOLLOW:

Mercedes Jones

Colby Cohen-Chang

Relda Smythe

Eli Puckerman

Cane Motta

Candy Motta

[limafm]

PLEASE FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNTS:

Relda Smythe

Elijah Puckerman

Hattie Wilde

[limafm]

The following have been accepted into LIMAFM:

Lydia as Hattie Wilde (Florence Pugh FC)

Jam as Elijah Puckerman (Aaron Taylor-Johnson FC)

Mel as Esmerelda “Relda” Smythe (Melissa Barrera FC)

Please refer to THIS checklist before sending in your account. If you do not send in your account within TWENTY-FOUR hours, the role will be reopened!