#relationshipx

[absurdly-overpowered-astronaut]

I realised I forgot to delete some of a sentence and without the rest of it it has a completely different meaning (I also put the wrong character down its supposed to be cory not tory) so just to completely clarify the sentence was supposed to be

Cory is based off my friendship with my best friend in the sense that Cory and Kat went to different schools but because Kat’s school had the tech block Cory’s class came to Kats school every two weeks to use the tech room. So even after going to different schools they still saw each other pretty often.

I cut it because its off topic and doesn’t make alot of sense unless I explain the culture of the town the story takes place in so I ment to get rid of it TvT

Tory and Cory aren’t based off any real person or relationshipx dynamic I have with a real person same with every other crows character sans kats parents

Of Asks for morning cry or any ocs you like :D

favorite animal? why?

are they any good with numbers?

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

I don’t think I’ve shown art or talked about all of the main characters before so heres some art of them for context (the names are listed in the same order as the art. Kat first then going to the right ending with joycie)

favorite animal? why?

This was actually surprisingly hard ^^; like I know which animals I associate with them but I struggled abit with picking one animal that would be their favourite because its just not something I think alot of them have thought about but I tried my best! >:3

Kat - I don’t think he has really thought about the question but if you were to ask him he’d say cats. Because his family has cat and his preferred name is similar to the word I think he has a affection for them. I also think he relates to them on a more personal level because he gets branded as lazy alot and he’s internalised that and cats are often called lazy because we apply are human standards to them. He thinks they are silly and fluffy and yeah

Cody/Tory - jelly wish because they don’t have brains (in the conventional sense) and don’t feel pain.

Grey - blob fish. She relates to the blob fish and thinks its cute.

Morgan - Llama. Looked up what animals can’t kill you and picked the first result as her favourite/j. I think she learns more about Llamas and Sheep because of her whool based hobbies and because of knowing the most about them they become her favourites.

Tolver - ants because of their reputation as hard workers and as a masculine interest.

Alex - crows because she thinks their ability to use tools and intelligence is interesting <- one of two characters that dose not have crow symbolism and is not associated with them in story

Joycie - dogs - I think she’d pick something cute but basic like dogs. She also values loyalty and purity both things often attributed to dogs so I think that also factors into her choice.

are they any good with numbers?

This is actually a really funny question for me because I’ve been writing Kat’s math redemption arc this chapter (well was when I wrote the first draft of this ask…)

Kat - absolutely abysmal with numbers! Struggles to count can’t really grasp non-literal math mathematical concepts. He can get there with help and when things are explained and broken down in the right way but struggles greatly in general <- probably has Dyscalculia

Cody/Tory - he’s great with numbers probably the best out of the main cast but he’s the kind of person where math just clicks for him and he could not for the life of him explain it to someone else. He could calculate something really complicated perfectly but if you asked him to explain his working he would struggle. He’s tried to help Kat with his math before but they’ve both given up at this point after lessons went something like this

“First you set up your equation” <- doesn’t explain how to set up said equation

“Then you factorise the 147 and the 34” <- dose not explain why you factorise and why its those numbers you factorise or even what is or how to factorise

“Then you do the thing”

“The what-”

“You know the thing”

“???”

“Okay…Just tell me what 19 x 2 is”

“Uhhh”

“Just double it”

“Ummm”

“Count 19 up from 19”

“Yeah umm I can’t count that high”

“YOU CAN’T COUNT ABOVE 20???!!!”

Grey - she gets by. Is smarter than people give her credit for but is only really smart in areas that interest her. Scary good at some areas of math but bad to average at others she doesn’t find interesting/worth her limited time on this earth. Mostly draws in her maths book so doesn’t have much room for equations.

Morgan - can’t do anything beyond y9-10 math (she is in y12) because of single Minded focus on not dying to an unhealthy degree. She’s so consumed by how she could die horribly and awfully at any moment so dosen’t have room in her brain to or the desire to learn more.

Tolver - is great at math but mostly self taught so there is a bit of a disconnect from how he does and how it’s taught. Tolver has the most number sense out of the team before Tory joins so he manages the money and any paper work for the team and since he’s one of the earliest members of the ghost hunting association he also has/manages paper work and numbers for the full organisation sometimes. So he’s good at numbers out of necessity/to make himself useful and as a product of growing up working in the ghost hunting organisation cult thing :)

Alex - average for her age. Not especially good not especially bad. Though she does have a kinda unique way of looking at where she sees math as like a language. Equations are like sentences , symbols (+ - = < > ect) are like grammar and particles. The point of an equation is to not only get to a conclusion but to communicate an idea to another person and everyone who dose math has there own short hands and habits and tricks so there is “different dialect’s” of math like People who do hands method for multiplication of 9s and people who do minus and add to 9 method are like sub dialects and so on.

Joycie - a little above average. Good at grasping concepts , working out what a questions asking her to do and doing calculations but struggles with any change ie Hates and Complains about “the alphabet being put in math” for “no reason” and BEDMAS becoming BEMA ect. Quite the close minded individual.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

Kat - Kat swings between great and terrible self esteame. so he'd either discribe himself as incredibly competent , a good friend and helpful ect or the absolute scum of the earth. Both are exaggerations.

Cody/Tory - Tory would describe himself as a good student/son/friend and an otherwise average person. He wants to be acknowledged and affirmed as good and heavy ties this concept to his relationships so since his relationship and morality are how he defines his sense of self he’d describe himself in relation to them. He thinks very highly of himself and very lowly of himself so he’d probably describe himself as an average person otherwise to avoid presenting himself to highly or to lowly.

Tory would describe himself in a way that is less so self deprecating as much as it is minimising himself.

Grey - Grey would describe herself as a unique soul in a sea of unambiguous and boorish thinkers or something similarly self aggrandising or something similarly dramatic. She wants to be important and unique and most importantly to matter! Even after death. So she’d give herself a grand description to convince herself of her own importance and individuality. Her relationships at the start of the story are mostly obligation based or contractual so she doesn’t really care about people finding her annoying or arrogant.Her importance is in contrast to and at the expense of others so she’s describe herself not only in away that was self dramatising but also that uses the general population as her yard stick.

Morgan - not not a terrible person. She doesn’t really have any sense of self so I think if confronted with having to describe herself she’d not only give a vague and evasive answer but also an unsure one. It’s vague because she doesn’t know much about herself. She isn’t initially introspective so she’d define herself by something easy like black and white morality. Morality also ties into her feelings around safety and mental heath so I think she’d use something like that.

Tolver - he is strong leader man dude💥✨💥✨💥who always makes the rational decisions that his emotional teammates are too soft to make he is such a good team leader who is so independent and smart TM. He wouldn’t word it this brashly but this is essentially the underlying message of how he’d describe himself. Safe to say he has a very warped perception of himself and the world. He thinks he has much more emotional stability then he actually does turns out its actually repression , internalised ablism and internalised toxic masculinity. He is very dependent on others and very attached to them specially he tends to latch onto people and then idolise them. He is also not man or a dude it turns out but that will probably take him a few years post arc to come to terms with / understand being gender queer. Aside from being utterly unempathetic and self destructive he is a pretty good team leader and smart aside from the obvious and those are the only parts of the description that are even remotely true.

Joycie - joycie would describe herself as Morgans friend or the medic. She is a parallel to Morgan in the sense she obsesses over one thing to the point it’s detrimental to her sense of self and assessment/processing of the world around her. So she’d describe herself as just whatever it is she is using to define herself/she has latched onto. Because her whole sense of self is tied to being Morgans best friend and after she realises that she no longer is she then completely defines herself by being the team medic repeating the process but with a job instead of a person because a job can’t move on and leave you right? Right? You can’t lose your role in a group dynamic when the authority that provided you certainty no longer as a use for you haha yeah- umm spoilers

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

I struggled alot with this one too so its not an exhaustive list just the stuff thats easy to talk about

Kat - Kat takes alot of inspiration from people in my life and my experiences but there are very few things we have one to one the same. Like for example Kat draws on alot of my feelings surrounding gender but he is trans masc instead of NB and has a much more traditional (for lack of a better word) view on gender but I think we have/would have very different understandings of it. I think Gender is a social construct and that boxs/terms should exist for people who want them but gender should be treated and seen as more flexible and fluid but kat more so see’s himself as a boy but doesn’t really question gender beyond that. He’s be fine with/understand non-binary as a concept but he’d have a much more ridge veiw of it then I do. ie non-binary = androgynous vs Non-binary is whatever makes you comfortable.

-Kat has alot of people pleasing tendencies which he inherited from me

-kat has a very similar relationship to his parents and grandmother to what I have with my aunt , uncle and grandmother

-he likes anime

-Kat got alot of my internalised ablism + experiences as a AFAB autistic person

-difficulty understanding where you stand with someone

-The feeling like you need to punish yourself for making mistakes

-Struggling in group social dynamics 

To many things to name

Cody/Tory - internalised guilt over the mere fact of existing

-crying alot

Tory is based off my friend

Grey - artist among other things that are hard explain so not going to further elaborate

Morgan - mental illness struggles

-paranoia spirals

-the feeling of knowing that what you’re scared of isn’t really that bad/is irrational but you just can’t get over it no matter how hard you try

-fear of blood/difficulty dealing with or thinking about blood

-the feeling of fearing death even when you feel like you have nothing to live for

Tolver - we have things in common but in a way that is hard explain so skip

Alex -puzzle box in interest

-child neglect

-anime intreast

Joycie - attaching yourself and your identity to one person and believing that person cares about you even beyond the point that is reasonable

I would get along with - Grey / Kat / Alex / Cory / Tory / morgan / joycie

I wouldn’t get along with - Tolver (I love him as a character but I couldn’t stand him in real life)

[nanorelationship]

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers:

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories – overt control and covert control.

Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule.

Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked.

Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.

RESISTANCE

Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled – of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance – withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination.

When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant – which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled - the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.

NEEDINESS

Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner’s job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need.

SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS

Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.

EYES ON PARTNER'S PLATE

Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner’s resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner’s anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner’s addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.

RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

All relationship killers come from fear – of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.

The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner’s plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.

A good place to start is to download our free Inner Bonding course and begin to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding. The daily practice of these steps will move you out of your addictive and controlling behavior and into the personal responsibility necessary to heal your relationship.

for information click here.....................

[heartwielded]

@mcyashi.

Ok but like,,, revealing that through narrative is such a (for lack of words) good feeling like??? People had to work to get that info and it’s not something that a character would just state u kno so I see where that would b cool but I also love knowing now too u feel???? Like lil hidden mysteries abt the char

hrrmm i mean tru but everyone ooc already Knows ):  i would absolutely love for other muses to find out through rp,  and since cecil is very reserved about himself he wouldn’t just tell anyone at all  ( unless someone actually asks him ).   i would really love to explore in character how he regards his past and how he talks about it and how it potentially changes the relationshipx he has with others or how they see him,  but i seem to be unable to somehow bring it up or give others a clear enough opportunity to let their muses ask or wonder about it . . . . . .   neat lil hidden mysteries about characters are fun and all unless u never find urself able to write  ( about ) them ):

[alittlehopealittlesmile-blog]

Just venting really

No amount of love I could give can change the past. You’ve grown apart from me. You’ve changed a lot. A lot more than I expected too be honest. And me, I’ve stayed the same at heart. All that has really changed about me is that I care a tiny bit now and have a job. But really though, I didn’t care how much you’ve changed. Because you’ll always be the sierra I fell in love with. Like, there’s a connection I feel between us. It goes deeper than emotion. Just. Idk, it’s hard to explain. And it feels like after you said that, my whole world was instantly crushed. My heart dropped. I got sent home early from work because I just broke down. It hurt as bad as the first time you ever left me. And honestly. I have no friends to vent to. I have no one to talk to, and if I hold it in. I will explode and freak out. So I’m venting here. Im not going to sit there and tell you I’m not oky. And all of that. It doesn’t matter to you anyways, and even if it did. I don’t want you to worry. Maybe you were right. But I wasn’t going to tell you that. I do love you though, if you loved me, you should have left me be. Or stayed for ever. Not come back and literally make me fall for you all over again, not once not twice, but 3 times in a row back to back in the past 2 months. You literally came back saying you missed me and us and how everything used to be, and you came back, just to once again, lie to me and torture me. And h9nestly. I already expect it every time you come back into my life. Which is why I’m always so worried when we were together. I knew it was going to happen. But I just thought about all the shit you went through, and I actually think I deserved it. Like, you deserved to hurt me to this point . To completely crush me inside and out. And now that I’m there. At this point, I think back. Back at all the shit I went through, all the shit you did to me, all the times you lied to me, left me, hurt me, and did it over and over again knowing I’m so hopelessly in love with you , and I realized… I’ve been through the same shit… all of it almost. We just handled it so differently. And I didnt deserve that shit. I came a far way from having nothing but my clothes and being homeless. Sure I’m taking my time getting my shit together right now, but that’s because I need the break. After all that shit I went through, I’m still emotionally recovering. And I’m doing it by myself because even if I wanted to let someone else love me. If I wanted to let someone else in. It’s not like anyone wants to. It’s not like anyone else would ever actually love me. And its not like I couldn’t get with someone , I could. But I cant. Because even just thinking about being with someone else, it makes my stomach turn in a bad way. It fucking sucks. At times I wish I never met you, because I can’t ever unlove you. And what the fuck is the point in loving someone so much when all they do is hurt you, and to top it off, they fell out of love with you? Like it don’t make no fucking sense to me. But if I could choose to not be in love with you, even after all that time apart , I spent every single day trying to get over you and I cant. I did all kinds of shit to try. Tried relationships, tried just messing around, tried having a few just close friends (but I can only open up to girls really idk. I’m too sensitive to talk to guys and I don’t have any friends that close), I’ve tried just not being in any kind of relationshipx but at the end of the day, each Anand every day. I still miss you. It fucking sucks. And I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you anymore. But fuck. Like fml. I’m just really fucking high rn. And I miss you a lot. Take care, Love always, Tyler michaels

[asktheseanceduo]

*He stops, blinking once, twice, three times before a small laugh escapes him. Is that what this was for? He almost can't help finding it hilarious. But of course Toyo would be worried. Poor thing's just a ball of anxiety when it comes to their relationship. He's always so scared of messing up. And it's that degree of care that makes Kihiro adore him.* "Sweetie, I barely know him. We talked once and while I do think he's nice to look at, I'm happy right where I am. At most, I would like him to be a close friend, you know? So I do plan on talking to him some more, but I'm not gonna run off with the guy."

*He pauses, taking a breath and once more trying to encourage Toyo to focus. Once he finally gets his hands free from his hair, he tilts his head to make sure their eyes meet.* "It's alright to be scared, but I'm not going anywhere. It's alright. I don't know what they did to imply I was, but they were wrong."

U-Um...Kihiro? It’s Toyo and I’m—ack... @ask-lookout-23

“Hey, babe. Gods, you look terrible. What happened? You okay? Wanna talk about it over some cake?” *He smiles, despite the concern that remains clear in his expression. Arms open, ready for the other to collapse into if needed. Nothing at all deviating from how he usually behaves.*

@ask-lookout-23

[hausofbyrd]

Seasonal

I wish I could change the locks on my heart

The way I change my phone number.

Now I understand for myself

The love we shared was Seasonal,

Winter died and you Sprung away..

I guess you had plans for the Summer.

-RiOt

[nanorelationship]

5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You

"I don't get it!…"

"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"

STOP!

How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?

The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.

But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:

1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.

2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman's face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.

3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!

4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.

5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!

I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.

Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!