#relatedly ive embraced my hatred for group chats and never join or feel bad for it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also re ppl talking abt things in the concepts of Careers.....just like when it annoys me when ppl start “resume / interview tips” with a tone of “You Fucking Fools” instead of say “this is all a goddamn game and the whole hiring process is a halfassed attempt to weed out the less exploitable at the min wage level and reward the privileged at upper levels and decisions will largely be arbitrary and this is all just about trying to adjust your odds”......it also annoys me when ppl (artists on twitter........) talk abt the necessity of Networking (being considered amicable by ppl you may potentially work with) with a context of “you fucking fools” instead of “again although capitalism pretends its a meritocracy its really not and unfortunately its not necessarily realistic to assume the quality of your work will serve you nearly as well as not just making friends but trying to establish personal connections as a means of making professional inroads”

i mean again even at the minimum wage level, someone whose friend already works at a place and recommends them is way more likely to be hired than anyone else who hands in an application. because beyond hoping for someone who can be scheduled at any and all hours and never say “i cant work then,” they dont really care who gets hired and its kinda just eh fuck it lets call this one. and interview them as if their job here has anything to do w interpersonal skills and the ability to deftly maneuver their way thru interrogation abt how much they might value their family and own personal existence over the company that pays them about ten cents a minute.

anyways its not like i dont think “networking” (seems weirdly euphemistic to me also) or finessing details on your application ISN’T helpful, just that its kind of demeaning if not insulting to talk about it like its all obvious and anyone who doesnt strategize the way you do is incompetent and doesnt deserve to succeed and its their own fault for not thriving. coz thats accepting the whole “this is a meritocracy” lie—that is definitely an assumption found in basically all discussions of anything—that necessitates these ridiculous secret maneuverings to get a foot in the door at places that treat you terribly to allow you to maybe barely survive off your work

anyways like of course i dont think that artists should have to seem friendlier than other artists to succeed & even if thats how it works i’m not gonna accept/endorse that premise yknow......like damn. its an element everywhere that yeah your Social Skills impact how ppl treat you professionally but im not about to pretend the Real Solution is just that those ppl who get fucked over by that fact just need to learn how to Be Different

like to a degree its sort of nice that just being in the same general professional sphere can make artists known to each other......but also like. if ppl around you dont personally consider you likeable, it then might close doors to your career. like damn nobody likes me, i’m glad i dont have to talk to ppl to draw

funny story actually once i was in a situation where im pretty sure nearly everyone was assuming i was a serious artist with a serious project. it wasnt at all a formal setting or even relevant what everyone did like just ppl hanging out / chillin but i still like, got automatically accepted by random nearby ppl in a way i was like oh god no i dont do anything lmfaoo...i got drunk followed on twitter by an artist i actually vaguely knew of & i think it took them a couple weeks to realize their mistake......i had a guy who wasnt an artist but was still involved in working w/ them talk to me a few times, increasingly somewhat drunk which is probably why he was talking to me (not in a nightmarish oh no a drunk guy is talking to me way, luckily, it was fine actually) & at one point he mentioned some artists who were there who i definitely knew of & how he never knew them to hang out w ppl after events or whatever & he was like idk are they too good for us or w/e & i was like lol nah i kinda know of them & i think theyre both just pretty shy (which was true lol in my head im like ive seen their diary comics abt being a bit socially timid.) and also i was thinking abt how ppl will and have assumed i think im too good to hang out / talk to them or are generally snobby, when actually i’m just anxious, and then doubly uncomfortable when i find out abt the stuff ppl have said abt me (like an unrelated family friend talking abt me when i was like, 11 or something lol; ppl talking abt how i wouldnt take up their invitation to join a group chat, since they make me nervous and if i do show up i cant say anything and probably feel worse; ppl talking abt how i accepted hanging out w a group i mostly didnt know but like brought stuff to do quietly in the corner like draw and write and stuff & had just kind of been making fun of me in the bg for the subsequent months i continued to hang out w them w increasing misguided confidence lol)

its funny (no it isnt) that ppl will think their specific brand of social language is the one that gives them the only accurate reading of other ppls social cues, & that everyone else has to learn to accommodate that, instead of ever considering the fact that its actually not a flat universal constant & maybe THEY need to learn more that some kind of subtle facial cue doesnt mean the same thing for everyone, that everyone doesnt verbally communicate in the same way, that there are cultural differences in various forms of communication, that avoiding eye contact doesnt always mean someone is full of contempt or lies, that people dont express affection in the same ways, that ones immediate impression of someone isnt always equivalent to their truest essence laid bare, etc etc

like everyone has their own language really & there can be mistranslations & nuances that are lost b/w ppl & you can’t always blame the other person for your own misinterpretation unless you consider yourself constantly superior mm

like its definitely all a lot of personal connections everywhere but that doesnt mean it should be

and the personal appeal of someone to strangers l o l . . . which can be a largely harmless advantage to a huge one. smdh. well it all stretches into a larger topic and many things annoy me