#regardless though that is the earliest version/concept of what happens when these two actually meet

[bringerofdarkness-fancomic]

VERY INTERESTING NEWS: I FOUND SOME OF THE 2022 CONCEPTS FOR EXNIC/BRINGER OF DARKNESS.

honestly, personality-wise, he’s not actually all that different from who he is now. though i did forget his tongue was pitch black once. and that he didn’t bleed from the mouth at one point.

will let you know if i ever find the concept(s?) for when he had a tentacle for a tongue. that was funky.

[finalfantasyxivwritings]

What If?

AO3 Version

Relationship: WoL!Reader/Emet-Selch

Rating: General

Summary: What might have happened if, in the final battle, you hadn't formed the light into a weapon to kill? What if instead, whether purposed or not, it became a weapon of raw empathy, a foundation of connection between two souls--one mortal, the other immortal--to bridge the gap of differed perspectives and experiences as large as the eons themselves.

What might have happened?

[Loosely related/sequel ficlet of sorts]

-

In the final moments of battle, you contemplated what lay around you. You contemplated the feelings bursting forth in your chest, a light that threatened to tear your soul to pieces. Even as the entirety of existence seemed to rip apart at the seams, you looked at Emet-Selch’s form and could feel every onz of his pain and misery and desperation.

Even as precious moments trickled past, even as pain sears into the deep center of your very existence, the weapon in your hand is not one to sunder and slay--the effort takes the whole of your being and beyond, but where there was once the burning agony of light that filled your soul over there was suddenly clarity. Pain became hope, agony became passion, misery became enlightenment. With every fiber of your being you changed the light itself into a tool, a weapon, cleansed of its fire and instead into something even more devastating.

When the smoke finally cleared and the adrenaline of battle began to settle, Emet-Selch stood before you, once more in the body of Solus. Your eyes meet with his and, in the span of a breath, you can feel as if the eons separating your souls have suddenly contracted into little more than the brief moments between heartbeats. Suddenly there is no more wall of understanding--one soul to another with no regard to fragmentation, no heed on worth or creed or the concept of fragility. It’s not as if the man’s eyes have been washed with new information, but it’s as if he looks at you anew, as if...

As if, in the brief exchange of your soul and his, he caught a glimpse of something within you. Your thoughts, your life, your emotions, laid bare and overpowering. Eons become seconds, thoughts become memories, and in the twisting span of what is and what was, you are sure that there are tears starting to fall down the curve of the man’s cheek and something deeply familiar tugging at your heart--

And then he is gone. Like that, Emet Selch is gone. Disappeared, but not slain.

You can feel it, though you don’t know how.

It takes time for you to recover, and time still for your friends to make sense of what happened. But they move on and, slowly, so do you--for the longest time, it’s truly as if Emet-Selch had actually died at the climax of the battle between you both. The Exarch is alive and well, Norvrandt is saved from destruction and you, your soul, are whole and hale once more in every manner of being.

When the dust settles, when the people begin their rebuilding of the world one brick and board at a time, you find yourself wondering when you’ll see the Ascian’s face again. For the first while you think he is merely waiting for the opportunity to ruin all the good that’s been done. 

But it doesn’t happen.

For the next while you wonder if he’s simply given up on the First entirely, opting to join back upon the Source and wreck havoc upon a situation already standing on the precipice of chaos.

But it doesn’t happen.

At last, many weeks later, you find yourself wondering if you should merely forget about the Ascian and continue on with your life--the twelve only knew how much you already had to worry about. But even then, even when the other Scions have all but chalked the soul up for dead and for bigger things to worry about, you still find yourself plagued by thoughts of the Ascian and his final words to you:

Remember our history.

Remember us.

You certainly don’t think you even can to begin with, the memories all but etched into your soul. Of places and beings and worlds and lives lived years upon years before the earliest creatures of the First even walked. Eons ago. 

So you keep your promise to him: you remember. You let your mind run free in the evenings, when there is naught else to hear but the sound of your own thoughts, when memories become real once more behind your eyelids, old words a whisper in your years. It’s like the lives of eons past are but a show within your dreams--it’s as if you’re connected to something, someone, and you are privy to their most intimate recollections of a life they yet longed to have again.

It doesn’t take long for you to realize to whom the memories and feelings of yearning belong to

In fact, the very man visits you several nights after they begin.

You’re worried at first, when Emet-Selch enters your quarters. You are ready to fight in little more than a shaken breath, heart pounding in instinct alone long-since driven into your skull, before the man but gestures with his hands in an open admission of peace.

“For once, I assume, a visitor in your quarters late into the evening has no desire to kill you,” Emet-Selch says, before his eyes shift to the side and his lips purse in a moment of thought. “...Unless you have other sorts of people who come to you in the evenings with no warning. Regardless I am here for neither, you’ll be happy to know that I would likely perish if I even attempted it--and, as we both know from the fact that I am talking to you, well...I’m still trying to figure out why you let that happen.”

It takes a long time for you to even let your guard down, let alone take your eyes from the man in the center of the room. It takes longer still for you to move back to your bed. Emet-Selch talks throughout the entirety, curious about the things you had seen of him. Of his memories. Of his thoughts. Though ancient, he is curious to know what you think of them.

And thus creates the first evening of conversation between the two of you. From enemies to cautious partners of conversation, the days came and went with the Ascian visiting you every couple of nights, always with a wry smile on his lips and a biting wit to his tongue. He would come to you and talk--sometimes he would be the only one doing the talking--playing out a facade that he couldn’t keep very well hidden. 

You could feel how lonely he was. And he knew it.

Perhaps it was the echo. Perhaps it was because of your last-moment mercy. Perhaps still it is simple fate, the entwining of souls, the will of a power much larger than yourself. Perhaps it’s all of those things and yet still perhaps it is none. 

But there is no denying that, of all the people that Emet-Selch could have connected to, he doesn’t seem to dislike your company.

In fact, as the weeks and months begin to go by and the Ascian never fails to visit, when you begin to see flickers of darkness at the corner of your eyes in heated battles--ones that down the enemy with no source of the blow, when you begin to put all the pieces of your new sense of normal together into one cohesive picture...

Well, you might see Emet-Selch as a friend. 

He might even see you as the same.

[texanredrose]

Handle With Care

Zearth asked me a while back about this headcanon in the context of a Bee’s Schnee relationship and... well, this is my answer, expanded. Also, featuring a younger version of the Bee’s Schnee twins from Odd One Out. (I didn’t expect it to get this long or this... heavy.)

Yang trudged through the door, weary down to her bones and only managing to punch in the alarm's code through muscle memory. Her brain and all thought processes had shut down a while ago. Taking the missions every now and again to thin the remaining Grimm was a necessary byproduct of their lives but, sometimes, it wore on her harder than others. This particular group had consisted of several Alphas, long enough in the tooth for her to have not even a second's respite throughout the grueling battle. The next time the mission alert recommended two Huntresses tackling the task, she wouldn't be so quick to assure her wives that she had it well in hand.

The blonde rolled her neck, trying to work out some of the tension still present while activating the alarm again; riding in an airship's cargo hold as opposed to an actual seat had left her unable to sleep on the long trip back, but it would be worth it in the end. The next regularly scheduled flight didn't leave for another four hours and that was just too long to wait. She missed her lovers and her kids and, considering it would take at least a day to recover from the rigorous mission, she wanted to be at home as soon as possible to begin that process. Weiss and Blake wouldn't mind if she missed the next doctor's appointment, but she'd never forgive herself if she did.

Yang did her best to shut the big, solid oak door softly, kicking off her boots and pushing them to the side. She'd probably get an eyeroll for not putting them up in the little cubby holes off to the side of the entry way but she'd apologize for it. Honestly, she didn't even have the strength for a shower and her thighs protested just the thought of climbing the staircase to get to the bedroom. Not to mention all the racket she'd likely create in the process- it was the middle of the night and her family deserved to sleep.

With a quiet groan, she knelt down by the reinforced steel box beside the doorway, flicking her wrists to put Ember Celica in their expanded forms and popping open the bolt covers so she could reach the fresh belts of ammunition. She would usually do this before even setting foot in the house but her coordination wasn't the best and dropping the blasted things wouldn't do her any good. Clumsily, she pulled the belts free and punched in the code, activating the latch beneath the lid and waiting for the beep before opening the box and depositing the live shells. She flicked her wrists again to collapse the gauntlets, shutting the box and waiting for the locks to engage once more before forcing herself to her feet, expression pinching into one of agony. Yeah, she definitely wasn't getting up those stairs tonight, and her aura had taken too much of a beating for her to risk speeding along her recovery just yet.

With a sigh, she lumbered over to the doorway leading into the living room, bleary lilac eyes falling on the couch. It wasn't the most comfortable or preferable, but it would do in a pinch, and she really didn't have the strength to crawl into bed with her wives right then. The blonde didn't even bother easing herself down, effectively faceplanting onto the furniture and releasing a quiet groan of relief. Tomorrow, she'd make it up to Blake and Weiss, she swore, but tonight she just wanted to get what sleep she could before sitting down to breakfast in the morning.

The only thing she managed to do before drifting into a deep sleep was turn so her artificial limb was on the inside of the couch, preventing her from a rude awakening if the weight of it happened to pull her off in the middle of the night. She should probably disconnect it, but the stand for the blasted thing sat on the triad's dresser and she'd already made her decision on that front.

At least she'd wake up in a few hours to see her family; that alone would be worth taking the earliest possible flight back.

Blake sighed fondly, leaning against the doorway into their living room with a smile on her lips. She'd awoken sometime last night, thinking she'd heard the front door, but had gone back to sleep convinced it was her imagination. Apparently, she was very wrong, seeing as one of her wives was currently passed out on the couch, somehow sprawled across the thing despite how uncomfortable it looked, having one leg thrown up and over the back of the couch like that. Judging from the slightly awkward angle of her right shoulder, the Faunus could surmise that Yang hadn't bothered taking off her prosthetic, which meant she was definitely exhausted from her latest mission.

"Blake? Is everything alright?" She turned, seeing Weiss carrying the twins down the stairs effortlessly despite their size. The healthy six year-olds looked just as confused as their mother, Noire's ears cocking forward just in time to catch the soft snore coming from the living room at about the same time the woman continued, blue eyes falling on the doorway. More specifically, the muddy boots sitting just to the right of the door. "Ah, I see Yang's home."

"Momma's home?" Zise looked around, as if the blonde would materialize simply because her name was said.

"Momma's home!" Her sister cheered, having heard the proof herself.

Almost immediately, the twins began squirming, not enough for Weiss to lose her grip on either but getting their point across regardless. The moment she reached the landing, their mother set them down, allowing the two to rush over to the doorway, where Blake stopped them in their tracks.

"Momma's sleeping and she's very tired. Don't wake her up just yet, okay?" Although it was hard, she managed to stand firm against the dual pleading looks. "I mean it; you can go in, but at least wait until breakfast is ready."

"Okay!" They responded before darting past her, suppressing their giggles as much as possible as they rushed over to stand beside the couch.

"I could've helped, you know," she said as Weiss came to stand beside her, adjusting her bolero. Yang's last message indicated she might not get in until early afternoon, so they'd decided to have everyone dressed and ready first thing in the morning to ensure they could meet the woman at the airport. Naturally, their wife had somehow managed to get home earlier, negating that, but they were still happy to have her home and in one piece. Plus, now they didn't have to worry about getting the girls dressed or the mischievous duo playing with their food at breakfast, seeing as they were both wearing their favorite outfits that they consciously tried to avoid getting dirty.

If only they had more outfits they held in such high regard.

"Nonsense; you're pregnant, Blake. You don't need the added stress, trust me." The woman waved off her comment easily. "Besides, Zise loves wearing her overalls and Noire absolutely adores that dress; they practically did all the work for me."

The Faunus rolled her eyes but let the subject drop, smoothing out her maternity shirt. Five months along and she was beginning to show, which, while exciting, also had her nervous. The doctor's appointment just around the corner should soothe her worries though- or at least, that's what she hoped. "I suppose we should-"

"I will take care of breakfast." Weiss patted her shoulder gently, a smile on her lips. "Stay here and watch the kids; you know they'll fidget in place until they wake her up if you don't keep an eye on them."

"And then we'll both catch the third degree for it, too." It felt so strange, being treated so delicately after years of fighting tooth and nail for every little bit of ground gained, but she full well knew it had nothing to do with her wives' confidence in her abilities. Now that they were mostly at peace, with the Grimm a resilient but minor threat being chased to extinction in the kingdoms' wilderness, there was time to relax, and she just happened to be the one enjoying it for the moment. She and Yang had already agreed that Weiss was next in line to be pampered, once the newest addition to their family was old enough to start on formula. Until then, she would just have to accept that her wives weren't inclined to let her do anything strenuous or stressful.

While Weiss went off to start on breakfast, Blake watched as the twins sat in front of the couch, just staring at the sleeping blonde. Neither had yet to truly understand the concept of patience, so it was only a manner of time before they tried to crawl onto the furniture and 'accidentally' wake Momma up, but the Faunus had a sneaking suspicion that Yang wouldn't mind in the slightest waking up to their daughters' poor attempt at being courteous. All three of them loved the twins but the blonde had taken to motherhood quicker than a duck to water, though she could be a bit... extreme in some regards. She effectively raised Ruby after the death of Summer, and a child as energetic and curious as their team leader had likely warranted such measures. It was Yang's strict policy that one of them be with the twins at all times and she'd taken the most convincing when it came time for them to begin sleeping in their own room. It wasn't paranoia, per se... but it veered along those lines sometimes.

As the faint smell of cooked eggs wafted from the kitchen, Blake inhaled deeply, utterly content with the morning thus far. She'd finally passed the morning sickness portion of her pregnancy, and her appetite now vastly exceeded her diet even during the height of her huntress training. Just smelling the sure-to-be delicious food had her mouth watering.

"I think it's time to wake Momma up," she said, taking a few steps into the room. "Then, we can eat."

Suddenly, everything was in slow motion, or maybe it just felt that way because of how quickly she processed the information because her body simply couldn't keep up. The twins jumped up, excited to wake the sleeping woman, and they'd gone with their first inclination- shake her awake. Tiny little hands reached out, and that's when she saw the problem as it unfolded; Zise wasn't watching where she was about to touch, her gaze focused on Yang's face.

Before she could say a word, though, the blonde snapped awake.

Yang awoke on high alert, brought to that heightened awareness that came so easily to those with small children the instant she felt tiny little fingers brush between the skin of her forearm near the cool metal of Ember Celica. She immediately jerked her arm away, eyes opening so crimson red could scan the immediate area before landing on the two little ones standing by the couch, one looking markedly more guilty than the other.

"ZISE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TOUCHING MOMMA'S BRACELETS?" She sat up, created distance, checked her wrist twice to ensure the weapon hadn't activated, all the while her heart thundered in her chest. A thousand possibilities flashed through her mind's eye, each one more terrible than the last.

"Yang, calm down-"

"S-sorry, Momma-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR 'SORRY' ZISE!" Yang checked her other arm, ensuring that the lack of sensation in her right limb hadn't led to the gauntlet being activated without her being the wiser. Once satisfied Ember Celica was in the same condition as she'd fallen asleep- with no changes made without her knowledge- she turned her heated gaze on her daughters, both of whom looked chagrined. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears, the pure shot of adrenaline from sheer terror just barely beginning to subside. "I'VE TOLD BOTH OF YOU SEVERAL TIMES. NEVER TOUCH MOMMA'S BRACELETS, EVER."

"Yang." Her gaze snapped to Blake, standing just on the other side of the coffee table and leveling an impressive glare her way. "Stop yelling at them."

"I'M NOT-" She growled, rubbing at her wrist absently with her artificial hand and switching tracks, her mind too fuzzy from the abrupt wake-up call to register how the Faunus had gotten downstairs or dressed so quickly. "You were supposed to be watching them!"

That, as it turned out, was the very wrong thing to say, amber eyes alighting as the Faunus prepared to launch into a tirade of her own.

"What is going on in here?" Weiss came into the room at a jog, wearing an apron over her clothes and showing the barest hints of recent use, a splotch of something shining wetly on her chest. One look around the room was all she needed to assess the situation, snapping off crisp orders before anyone could start explaining themselves. "Nevermind. Blake, take the twins into the den. Yang, in the kitchen, now."

"But-"

"Now, Yang." She pointed for emphasis, blue eyes turning hard as diamonds. "I won't repeat myself."

Clenching her jaw, Yang shot up, her muscles protesting the movement but she was too angry to care, marching past both of her wives. She stormed across the foyer, into the other hallway, and ducked into the first doorway on the left. She immediately turned around, crossing her arms over her chest and fully prepared for the impending argument.

She wasn't quite ready enough, however.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Weiss started the moment she rounded the corner, her voice low but edged with ice.

"We have a rule, one I thought all of us agreed on," she replied, keeping her voice just barely below her normal speaking tone. "They know better. If Zise had-"

"They were trying to wake you up, Yang; they weren't trying to play with your gauntlets." Although shorter, the woman had always possessed the ability to seem larger, the straightening of her spine doing little for her physical height but intimidating all the same. It had been years since the last time she'd actively employed the 'patented Schnee intimidation technique' on the blonde, yet here it was, plain as day. "They were excited and not paying attention. Can you really blame them? You've been gone three weeks-"

"Oh, so just because I haven't been here, the rules go out the window, huh?" She refused to back down, beginning to pace around her wife to throw off the sensation of being towered over. Yang was fully aware she had to tilt her chin down to look the woman in the eye but their arguments always put them on equal footing somehow, in a way she could never properly articulate. "It's for their safety, Weiss. You know what happens when Ember Celica is triggered. What if she'd gotten her hand caught in the gears when it opened or the back plate shot out too quick and she freaked out? She could've been hurt!"

"And instead, she's crying her eyes out in the den thinking her Momma hates her!" Weiss snapped back, positively incensed and willing to match the blonde step for step.

Yang jerked back, furrowing her brows. "Don't blow this out of proportion, Weiss; I just told her-"

"You didn't tell her anything! Or Noire, for that matter!" The shorter woman took a step forward, jabbing a finger in her face. "All you've ever told them is to not touch your 'bracelets', and they don't. But you've never told them why. They both have no idea why you're overreacting like this. To them, Zise accidentally did something, and you immediately yelled at her after being gone for three weeks. That's the first thing you did after coming home. Noire's scared she did something too; they just don't understand why you're so upset!" She drew back, a scowl on her features. "Do you have any idea what that feels like, Yang? Neither of them were paying any attention to what they were doing, they were just sitting there waiting for the opportunity to wake you up because they missed you, and now they're convinced you're angry with them."

The blonde exhaled heavily through her nose, flexing her hands while trying to keep her anger in check. "I'm trying to keep them safe."

"I understand that, but you're being overprotective and needlessly aggressive." The severe line of the woman's shoulders relaxed slightly, blue eyes softening. "You're exhausted and you've always been a bit too strict with them- and I know you have their best interests at heart, but really, Yang? You really don't see anything wrong with how you handled the situation?"

"I-" She paused, taking a moment to actually think about the question. Weiss had a point. They'd rarely, if ever, raised their voices at the twins, either in anger or reprimand. A stern tone was usually all they needed to get their point across, and even then it was rarely warranted; they were well behaved and the most mischief they got into usually included Ruby visiting, helping them sneak sweets before supper or something of the like. Even the dreaded 'terrible twos' weren't that bad, from what Weiss recounted. "I... could've handled it better."

Her wife nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know most of that was the jet lag and the mission; you're still exhausted and you didn't mean to be so short with them. But they don't really understand that. None of us have returned from a mission this long, or this difficult." She took a step closer, reaching up to cup the blonde's jaw, lithe fingers gently working at the lingering tension. "You know Zise wouldn't intentionally disobey us, or Noire. It was an accident."

"But what if she'd triggered it?" Raising her left hand, Yang looked at the slightly tarnished metal, the newest coat of paint already showing signs of wear. Years of fighting had turned the metal underneath to a black mess of carbon that she'd never be able to get completely clean and the heat from long, sustained firing during battles long past had nearly made both of her weapons inoperable, warping the metal to conform to her forearms even more. She'd probably need to upgrade to something new soon, or rebuild the model; her fighting style had altered slightly over the years and Ember Celica did the job, but she could do more. Not that she had an abundance of opportunities to look forward to, though. "You know it doesn't take much- a flare of aura, a flick of my wrist."

"Neither of them have unlocked their aura yet and the mechanism relies on your movement anyway; we both know no one can operate Ember Celica if you're unconscious or you'd never have fallen asleep with them on in the first place," Weiss said, shaking her head with a small smile. "You'd sooner walk around in full plate armor than risk them activating while you’re taking a nap. And they're both unloaded, correct?"

"Yeah..." Her muscles relaxed somewhat, the anger bleeding away as her head cleared. Without the fog of waking up in a panic, she could at least acknowledge that the chance of anything happening was minuscule at best. That was part of her argument for keeping her weapons on her person at all times; unlike Myrtenaster and Gambol Shroud, Ember Celica posed virtually no threat when unloaded, possessing no sharp edges. Her wives' blades were locked up in a bulletproof glass case in the foyer, on display but still within reach and fully loaded for those possessing the access code- and one of the triad's fingerprints. Blush and Wilt sat in Blake's reading nook under lock and key, and Blitzkreig in Weiss' study if they needed means of self defense and couldn't get to the foyer, plus a few cheap, run-of-the-mill weapons Ruby had confiscated from cache raids while chasing the last remnants of militant groups across Remnant. Yang kept Ember Celica, though, seeing as they could be discreetly hidden from the naked eye and would provide her a way to defend herself and the twins if anything were to happen... which, considering the veritable fortress they'd built for a home and the eradication of the White Fang and the SDC's unsavory business practices, their enemies numbered less than ten, if that. "Maybe I am a bit... overprotective at times."

"Try 'all the time'." Her fingers slid to the back of the blonde's neck, tracing along her hairline. "If they understood why you don't want them touching Ember Celica, it might help them understand why you reacted so badly. But being hard on them without explanation or due cause won't help them understand; they'll just jump to conclusions the same way you jump to the worst case scenario. You need to talk to them, Yang, and especially Zise."

"She doesn't really believe I hate her... does she?" Yang frowned, brought down from her rage entirely by the soothing fingers on her neck and her wife's voice. Even if it was the worst way to wake up, it was finally sinking in that she should've at least greeted her family before reprimanding the twins; three long weeks trekking through wilderness had brought with it the bittersweet longing for home that wouldn't go away for a few more days. She didn't want to spend them with one of their daughters cowering from her.

A cloud passed over the woman's face, prompting her to retract her hand. "I can't say if she truly believes it... but she remembers how my father acted around her and Noire, and there were certainly enough times growing up that I believed he hated me." Weiss turned, heading back towards the stove, which had a frying pan filled with half cooked scrambled eggs sitting atop a cold burner. "Go talk to them and apologize to Blake."

She winced, scratching at the back of her head. "I... did kinda snap at her too, huh?"

"Yes, you did, and you are digging yourself out of that one." With a practiced flick of her wrist, she turned on one of the other burners and moved the pan over. "Smoothing things over with the twins is one thing, but you definitely earned the doghouse this time." She paused, just before grabbing the abandoned spatula on the counter. "Or would it be the scratching post?"

"Princess, babe, I love you, but you still need to work on your sense of humor," Yang said, chuckling at the terrible attempt at a pun that somehow brought a smile to her lips anyway.

"And you need to work on not spending another night on the couch- this time, involuntarily. Mommy Blake is not happy you were yelling at the twins and while I'm not too crazy about it myself, I wasn't there to witness it. You still need to talk to her before it's all said and done."

What little mirth she had fled at that reminder, heading out of the kitchen and back across the foyer, opting to skip the lecture while she could and putting her boots up as she passed. It was little more than a stall tactic, true, but it did make her feel a little better knowing that she wasn't trying to earn her wives' ire. However, she couldn't avoid the reckoning forever, and found herself standing just outside the den before she could really process how she'd gotten there. She still felt exhausted from the trip and the long weeks away, but all that fell away as she heard a tiny voice thick with tears speak.

"I didn't mean it, Mommy." A hiccuping sob. "I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Hush, little one, Momma knows that and so do I." Blake soothed, her voice soft and it nearly broke Yang's heart. "You'll see. Mommy promises you; Momma's not mad."

"B-but-"

"Zise," she said, stepping into the den and seeing the twins curled beside Blake, one on each side. Noire was quiet, more so than usual, with her ears pinned back against her skull and silent tears slipping down her cheeks. Her twin was louder, crying softly as she pressed into the Faunus' right side, face screwing up more as the blonde entered the room and a fresh round of sobs spilled forth. Yang's brow knit together, heart clenching painfully even as Blake shot a glare her way. "Come here, Zise. I'm not mad. You too, Noire."

There was a single moment of hesitation that tore at her, where it looked like neither of her daughters might leave their Mommy's side, but both carefully clambered off the den's couch and ran over to her. Yang knelt down, just in time to catch the twins, one in each arm, as they buried themselves into her shoulders. She held them tight, tears stinging at her eyes; it felt so good to hold them both again, and she swore they were bigger now than before she left.

"I'm s-" Zise started but she quickly cut the little one off, her tone soft.

"No, I'm sorry. Momma shouldn't have yelled," she said, turning her head to plant a kiss against each of the little heads pressed against her. "Momma was tired but that's no excuse. I'm sorry, Zise." The little girl continued crying, though her sobs had died down some. "Hey. Look at me." She waited for purple tinged blue to look up at her- unlike the blonde, her daughter's eyes changed with every powerful emotion, not just anger- before she repeated herself. "I'm sorry."

"'s'okay." She scrubbed at her face, eyes returning to their normal baby blue. "I'm sorry I touched your bracelet."

Yang sighed, weighing her options. Unfortunately, it really only left her one path to take, because she could still hear the warble in her daughter's voice. She had to make sure both of them understood what got her so upset. "We're gonna go to the practice room now, okay? Just for a little bit, and then we'll sit down for breakfast." The blonde looked up, seeing surprise evident in Blake's expression. "There's something I need to show you, first."

Slowly, the Faunus nodded; between the three of them, it was Yang who vehemently argued against the twins starting any sort of combat training. They'd lost so much during the years fighting against Salem that just the thought of the twins following in their mothers' footsteps made her panic a little, and the Grimm threat was so reduced now that it might be completely eradicated by the time they were old enough to attend a combat school. Surely her little ones could take a nice, safe desk job at the SDC or something, right?

Weiss and Blake doubted it. They'd told her several times that a lack of Grimm didn't always mean a lesser need for Huntresses and Atlas still had a standing army to consider. Plus, if they were anything like their mothers, they'd get the itch for adventure, especially if Ruby kept bringing over those storybooks Yang used to read her when she was their age.

Yang looked down, seeing the confusion and surprise in her daughters' eyes, the twins exchanging a glance before nodding. Noire still hadn't said anything, not even a mumbled 'okay' like her sister, which had the blonde a bit worried, but she hoped it would all make sense soon.

She stood up and turned to head back out into the hall, bending down a little to take a small hand in each of hers. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she led the twins down the hall, back across the foyer and down another hall to the practice room. There, she had to release Zise's hand to activate the keypad, the door sliding open a moment later. When it closed behind the three, she led them to a little area off to the side that acted as a sort of observation deck, elevated just slightly and surrounded by bullet proof glass, with a bench for sitting. They'd originally installed it so one of them could watch the other's technique, ensure they weren't getting sloppy now that they didn't have Beacon's full facilities or a seemingly endless supply of people after their necks, but it would work well for what she had in mind now.

"I need both of you to stay in here, okay? Watch me, but don't leave this box."

"Okay, Momma," Zise replied, her twin offering a slightly subdued response, but at least she said something. It seemed curiosity was winning out over concern they might be in trouble.

"Good. Just watch me. That's all I want you two to do." Tension brought her shoulders together as she turned around and went back out, towards a little staging area outside of the 'hot zone', as they'd taken to calling it. The room itself was reinforced and designed to withstand their standard attacks and the projectors could only create hard light opponents, so it wasn't the same amount of utility as the ones back at Beacon, but it suited its purpose just fine. With only a small tremble in her fingers, Yang input the code to access the ammunition box, pulling two fresh belts out and laying them on a nearby table for the moment.

It felt strange, to some extent. She was the one who didn't want them training, she was the one who absolutely forbade anyone from carrying loaded weapons in the house, and she was the one who would glare at anyone who didn't immediately store their weapon when they came to visit, aside from the exceptions of close family. Even then, she would watch them, because- unlike everyone except her own father- she remembered all too vividly when Ruby got to the age of playing with whatever happened to be lying around. They didn't have any weapons in the house at that point- she never learned what her father did with his, and he was often too morose to mention anything that could lead on a tangent back to Summer- but that didn't stop her little sister from getting into a whole world of trouble.

"Alright." She wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or the twins' but, when she turned around, both sets of blue eyes were upon her. "I'm going to show you why I don't want you touching my bracelets." She held out both her arms. "I don't say it because I want to be upset with you... I say it because it can be dangerous." With quick motions of her wrist, Ember Celica began to expand, the mechanisms clicking and whirring while the twins jerked back in surprise. "You know Mother and Mommy have their weapons, right?" Although a little delayed in responding, the duo nodded their heads. "Good. These are my weapon. They're called Ember Celica." She walked closer and knelt down, allowing both of her daughters to marvel over the shotgun gauntlets. "This is part of why I didn't want you two touching them. It doesn't take much to activate, and they could hurt you."

Zise and Noire looked up at her then, surprise showing clear in their expressions, and Yang mentally acknowledged that she'd have to bite the bullet and admit Weiss was right. They likely had thought they weren't supposed to touch the bracelets simply because she told them not to, completely bereft of the context to what an unintentional activation could cause.

"You can touch them, if you want." She bit her lip lightly, curling her hands into fists so they wouldn't see the way she trembled. "Only now, though."

The twins looked at each other, exchanging one of those silent conversations that none of them could begin to decipher before reaching a decision. Carefully, they laid their tiny little hands on the cool metal. They traced along the different pieces as lilac eyes watched, trying to look everywhere at once as the irrational fear mounted. She hadn't put the ammunition in and it took kinetic force to trigger the pump action, but knowing that and not thinking it could happen anyway appeared to be two different things.

"That's why we can't touch them?" Noire lifted her gaze, but retracted her hand at the same time. "Because they move?"

"It's part of the reason," she replied, gently pulling her arms back and out of Zise's reach. "Go back behind the glass. I'm going to show you the other reason, okay?"

With a few nods, the twins retreated back to their previous spots while the blonde went back to retrieve the ammunition belts. She made sure to keep an eye on the little ones, that they were well behind the glass before opening the bolt covered and fitting the belts through. Normally, she wouldn't be as careful or as nervous, but neither would Zise and Noire be present. Keeping that in mind, she made sure the barrel of her weapons always towards the blackened back wall, scored by fire and chipped by ice and bullets from use. They would probably need to replace that top coating on the door before it got too weak; the last thing they wanted was to create a ricochet prone backdrop and pouring tonnes of dirt to create a mound inside wasn't entirely practical. Ruby would be able to fix the problem easily, though, and she made a mental note to ask about that, later.

With both belts in place, she closed the bold covers and took a deep breath. "Polly, begin simulation."

"Simulation active." Perhaps it was a bittersweet form of torture but, when Ruby had partnered with SDC scientists to create a suitable program to run their practice room, she's used the copy of Penny's audio files General Ironwood had given her years prior. She didn't have a physical body- at least, not yet- and this version didn't posses the ability of sentience like the real Penny did but it reminded them all of the odd little ginger they'd met back before everything went to shit. Memories of those 'good ol' days' flashed through her mind, as they did every time she came to blow off some steam or just brush up on her skills, bringing both the melancholy of lost friends and appreciation for what they still had, even after fighting to the edge of oblivion and back. "Welcome back, Yang. Please select your regimen."

"One beowolf, stationary target," she said, looking over at the twins. "Remember, you're safe right where you are. It's okay."

Noire and Zise looked confused for a brief moment before the holograms hummed to life, constructing a life sized beowolf in the center of the hot zone. Hard light shaped the planes of its bone plates much better than the texture of fur, but when the light fell away and it turned darker, more closely resembling the actual creature, she heard two gasps from her left. Now they recognized the creature, having seen them occasionally in those damned books Ruby brought. She honestly had hoped they'd never become familiar with the creatures of Grimm at all.

"Simulation begin."

"This is the other reason." She waited until the twins looked at her, ensuring they saw what was about to happen, before raising her left arm. Then, she flared her aura, activating the trigger and sending a single round flying into the hard light construct. It immediately shattered into pieces- the years of fighting had allowed her to upgrade to a bigger caliber, and Ruby's innovations with Dust from the SDC certainly hadn't hurt- in tandem with the sound of the blast echoing off the walls, causing Noire and Zise to jump closer together. With smoke still rising from the barrel, Yang lowered her arm.

"Simulation end."

"Polly, begin simulation." The blonde raised her right arm. The prosthetic had undergone a few... revisions since that fateful day. Between Ruby, Ironwood, and a few others, the simple replacement had been transformed into a weapon all its own, strong enough to deflect all but the red Dust blades that could cut through anything and with a built in, Dust infused power core than transformed Ember Celica's rounds from a simple projectile to a highly modded blast of destruction whenever she fired. "Five beowolves, 'I' formation, stationary targets."

The holograms sprung to life once more, hard light forming into five more beowolves standing in front of her.

"Simulation begin."

Unlike with her left, firing with her right arm took a few seconds to charge. The dull hum was just white noise to her now, like the sound of her own breathing, something she could consciously acknowledge but usually filtered out completely. The sharp crack of the round firing, however, resounded ten times louder than the previous shot, blowing all five of her conjured opponents into fragments that dispersed in the blink of an eye. The startled cry her daughters gave, however, nearly broke her focus, a glance confirming the two had started clinging to each other with wide eyes as the hard light projections disappeared, leaving only a faint trail of smoke from her arm and a fresh scorch mark on the wall.

"Simulation end."

Lowering her artificial limb slowly, Yang waited until the faint whir of the mechanics died down before popping open the bolt covers again, removing the nearly full belts and replacing them in the ammo container. When she turned around, she waited for the little ones to calm down before speaking.

"Do you understand now?" Her expression lost some of its severity as she took a few steps forward, holding up both of her forearms. "Momma's bracelets aren't just jewelry; Ember Celica is just as dangerous as Mytenaster and Gambol Shroud. Not all the time, but they can be." With a flick of her wrists, the weapon began collapsing again until they were nothing but bracelets once more. "That's why I don't want either of you touching them. You could get hurt, and I would never forgive myself if that happened."

She walked back over until she was in the safe zone, somewhat relieved when neither of her daughters drew back from fear. Instead, they seemed a bit... confused.

"But, Momma..." Noire bit her lip, ears twitching slightly. "Can they do that without the box things?"

"Do what?" Both twins looked to the side, at the scorch mark that just now had stopped smoking. "Oh, the bullets. Well, no. They can only do that if they're loaded. Uh- if they have the things in box."

"Then... they won't go 'boom', right?" Zise's eyes flew open, hiding her hands behind her back. "We won't touch 'em! Just... they can't do that, right?"

"You always put the box things back." Her twin noted, also tucking her hands away from view. "We can't hug you until you put the box things back when you come home. You always put the box things back."

Yang sighed, kneeling down to look at her daughters. "Yes, I always put the box things back, and yes, they won't go 'boom' without the box things. But... what you have to understand is that... Momma's afraid." Her brows drew together as she tried to formulate an explanation they would understand. She didn't want to worry or scare them but she needed to be certain they understood. "Before you were born, Your Mother, Your Mommy, and I all went to school, so we could learn how to fight creatures like the fake ones in here." She looked back to where the hard light beowolves stood. "Back then, they were everywhere, and we had to fight every day to keep them from hurting people. Then things got worse." Her gaze then fell to her artificial limb. "A lot worse. Momma... lost some friends. We all did. We lost a lot during that time. And I almost lost your Mother, your Mommy... and you two." Taking a shuddering breath as tears stung at her eyes, Yang reached out to her daughters, pulling them into a tight hug. "That was the most scared I'd ever been, and I swore I would do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You two, Mother, Mommy- everyone, because I'd already lost so much and I was scared of losing even more. I... I can't lose my babies, too." A sob burst from her chest as she squeezed her eyes tight, trying to stymie the tears. "So even if it doesn't make sense, Momma's gonna worry. Momma's gonna be scared. Because I love you two so much and I don't ever want anything bad to happen to you."

Tiny hands fisted her jacket, the twins burying their heads in her shoulders and making soft, calming noises. She didn't mean to cry- she tried to never cry in front of them, because she remembered watching her Dad's agony and Qrow's drunken pain and it always hurt knowing she couldn't make things better- but the tears came anyway.

"I love you both so much."

"We love you too, Momma," Noire said, her own voice thick with tears.

"Uh huh!" Zise chimed in as well and it didn't take visual proof for her to suspect that the little girl was crying already. "I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry, too." It took a few shuddering breaths for her to regain composure but she somehow managed it, drawing back from her daughters to wipe at her eyes. "This morning was an accident and I was wrong to yell at you two." She sniffled. "So... what did we learn?"

"Don't touch Momma's bracelets, 'cause they could hurt us," Noire said.

Zise continued. "And be more careful when we wake Momma up."

The corner of her lips pulled up in a small grin. "And Momma learned not to yell over nothing. It was just an accident." She stood up, turning towards the door. "Now, come on. Mother's making breakfast and I'm sure it'll be delicious."

When she didn't hear the patter of little feet following after her, the blonde turned around with a raised brow, left to wonder for a few moments more as the twins had another of their conversations. Blake and Weiss insisted it was common for twins to be able to read each other's microexpressions and the like much easier than other people could, making verbal conversation unnecessary, while Yang asserted they were essentially telepathic in contrast. Either way, the two came to a conclusion and, in very soft voices while holding their arms up, posed their query.

"Will you carry us?"

Normally, she wouldn't. Weiss would coddle them- that's what the blonde called it, anyway, but it was certainly something the triad would never see eye-to-eye on- and lavish the twins with all the physical contact and loving affirmations she never received as a child. She, on the other hand, advocated for doing so sparingly, encouraging them to carry themselves and gain as much experience and reliance on themselves now, while the triad was there to watch over them, because she knew kids never stayed kids long enough, not in their world. Blake struck a middle ground, saving some gestures for when they'd done something well or when they asked for it but mainly leaving them to their own devices. Yang was never cruel or neglectful but the twins knew that, if it wasn't play time, she wasn't going to pick them up.

But after the excitement from the morning, and being gone for three weeks, and missing her daughters more than anything, she could let some things slide.

"C'mere." She knelt down, arms open wide, and wasn't the least bit surprised when the twins shot forward without further prompting, already trying to find themselves solid holds on her jacket. That's when she got an idea, her grin widening a bit. "Hey, you two wanna be top of the world?"

The twins looked at each other for a moment before nodding.

Carefully, she lifted them up until they were sitting on her shoulders. She used to do it with Ruby, when her sister was small enough, and she did it with Weiss and Blake on occasion, but those times were distant memories now and it worried her, even though she had her hands curled around their legs to keep them in place.

"Hold onto Momma's jacket, okay?" She turned back towards the door. "... and don't grab Momma's hair."

Both of them giggled, because the one time Qrow had done it as a joke she'd managed to maintain her tenuous grip on her fury until well after the twins were out of earshot, though she did turn an impressive shade of purple from the force of holding her rage in, according to Ruby. Regardless, much like her gauntlets, the twins were told expressly to not play with the blonde's hair. They just didn't know what would happen if they did, yet. That would be a lesson for another day.

But, she wasn't going far and everything would be okay, even if her heart was going a mile a minute as she walked, being very careful as she reached for the keypad.

"Hold on tight, Noire," she said, as much as a warning as to soothe her nerves, only feeling somewhat relieved when the door opened and she could secure the little Faunus once more. "Watch your heads." They weren't quite tall enough to reach the top of the doorway, and she knew that, but the words left her mouth regardless. "Alright, breakfast time."

Yang started off taking small, steady steps, paying special attention to their weight on her shoulders with every move. When she heard Zise's inhale and felt the twitch from Noire that seemed to halt any words from leaving her sister's mouth before they'd formed, she chastised herself for being so cautious.

Jumping out of an airship over a Grimm infested wilderness? No problem. Just the slightest chance some harm could come to her children? A complete basket case. Her younger self would laugh and call her a worry wart, but those were better times.

She'd grown so serious since then.

Lengthening her stride, Yang turned to bring them into the kitchen, where Weiss was setting the dirty cooking instruments in the dish washer. Blake was just finishing setting everything on the table in the adjacent dining room, the smell of fresh cooked eggs, bacon, sausage, and traditional Atlesian bread hanging heavy in the air.

"Just in time!" The woman's smile was genuine when she turned around, though it fell a moment later, turning into a blank, flat look. "Really?"

While the twins seemed curious as to their Mother's consternation, the blonde merely smiled. "Everything good, short stuff?"

"Unbelievable; I'm finally not the shortest, and you take it from me so soon? How rude; I thought I'd have another six years, at least." She huffed, marching over and looking up at their daughters. "How's the weather up there? Having fun?"

The twins shifted slightly, as if looking at each other, before responding.

"It was hot..." Zise started, allowing Noire to continue.

"... but it cooled off."

Yang's face screwed up. "Wait a minute- did they just make a joke about my temper?" Judging by the stifled laughter from above them and the twinkle in Weiss' blue eyes, they'd done just that. "Hey!"

"It's about time you've met your match," Blake said, entering the kitchen with a smile. "But before Mass Pun War Seventy Six kicks off, let's eat."

"Agreed. We've already had enough excitement on empty stomachs." Reaching up, the shorter woman carefully accepted the precious cargo from Yang's shoulders, turning to carry the twins into the dining room while the Faunus remained behind.

"Blake... I'm sorry for-"

"I know." She sighed, shaking her head. "I'm not saying I forgive you, not yet, but I probably would've snapped too if I'd had the same three weeks you did. You were cranky and scared but... Yang, you have to let go of the past." Her hands reached out, cupping the blonde's face. "We have two beautiful daughters and a third child on the way. Now's not the time to let those old demons back into your heart."

Yang wrapped her arms around the Faunus' waist, pulling her close and bending down just enough for a kiss. She could feel Blake's baby bump pressing against her own belly, bringing a smile to her lips despite the morbid topic after the kiss ended. "I'm trying."

"Now you are." Blake chuckled, gently breaking the embrace and heading towards the dining room. "I think it'll take baby steps but, in time, I think we'll be alright. We can talk more about it tonight."

"Tonight?" She raised a brow, hoping it meant she wouldn't be exiled to the couch. Although such instances were rare now... well, their first year living together had brought with it a few more adjustments than any of them had anticipated.

At the doorway leading into the dining room, the Faunus paused. "I'll let Weiss explain."

Before she could inquire further, Blake went to the table while their wife quickly returned to the kitchen while the faint sounds of silverware clinking indicated the twins were sitting at the table and awaiting their parents' arrival. Yang thought about asking- or at least being the one to initiate the conversation- but quickly found herself pinned in place by a sharp look as the shorter woman approached.

"Listen closely, Yang, because I'm saying this once and only once." Weiss got close, poking her in the chest with a single finger. "Despite your efforts to completely derail mine, I've spent the last two weeks getting Blake comfortable and 'in the mood' and, even considering this morning's events, she's still... open to the idea." She narrowed her eyes. "Now, we're going to have a talk about this whole fiasco tonight and you're going to be on your best behavior, because after that, we might have a chance for a little fun." Before the blonde could open her mouth fully, she was shushed by a finger against her lips. "Between the two of us, who's been pregnant? That's right, me, and even if she's a tad hesitant about it, I absolutely believe a little... stress relief will be beneficial for her, and us as well. So, if you fuck this up, I'm going to spend the next month giving you so many chores you won't want to move at the end of the day, am I clear?"

Yang weighed her answer for all of two seconds. "Yep. Crystal."

"Excellent." The shorter woman sighed, the severity in her face and voice gone as a small smile claimed her lips. "It's good to have you home, Love. Now, let's go eat."

The blonde followed her wife into the dining room, where their children and other wife were already seated, with the twins staring at each other very intently. Given the slight furrow in the older Faunus' expression, this must've been going on for some time, and at first she worried that they might've overheard the conversation in the kitchen. However, once Yang and Weiss had sat down, they looked towards their plates as if nothing was the matter. Without much further ado, they started eating, passing plates around while Weiss and Yang took turns making sure the twins had enough of whatever they wanted to eat. Normally, the blonde would be a bit more concerned about the portions, but now that she'd completely calmed down, it was a struggle in itself to not scarf her own food down, nevermind chiding the kids on eating more eggs and less bacon.

Blake finally broke the silence. "So, how was your mission?"

"Good. Long, tiring, and we probably could've used an extra few hands or so, but we cleared out the nest with no casualties." She sighed, a small smile on her lips. "At the rate we're going, it might be just another generation or two before the Grimm are gone for good."

The patter of plastic being set down drew her gaze towards the twins, both of whom were staring intently at their plates.

"Zise? Noire?" Weiss' brows furrowed. "Is there something wrong?"

Slowly, the little Faunus looked up, blue eyes darting to all three of them before she replied. "Can we learn to fight?"

Yang set her own fork down, completely forgetting about the big of egg and sausage she was just about to eat. "What?"

Her tone was probably a bit more severe than entirely necessary, and the tension mounting in her shoulders probably didn't help, but Noire didn't back down and Zise came to her sister's aid rather than hide away.

"You said you all learned to fight the monsters. We want to learn, too."

"And why do you want to learn to fight?" Blake took a sip of her orange juice, no inflection in her tone.

"To defend ourselves," they said.

"Well, I don't believe that for a second." Weiss scooped more eggs onto her plate. "There's more to it, and if you two want an answer, you'll have to tell us."

Again, the twins exchanged a look. "So Momma doesn't have to be scared anymore."

Yang blinked.

"How will learning how to fight keep Momma from being scared?" Blake raised a brow, just as skeptical.

"If we know how to fight, we can protect ourselves," Zise replied.

"And, we can keep the monsters from coming back."

"And we'll know how to be careful with weapons."

Slowly, the blonde raised a hand to her face and sighed, rubbing at her forehead. This was exactly why she didn't want to show the twins how her gauntlets worked in the first place. Banking on them not somehow inheriting their Aunt's curiosity when it came to weapons- regardless of how genetically impossible the notion seemed- was just asking for too much, and she'd known that all along.

Yet... she had the same feelings when Ruby got that look in her eyes the first time, but she didn't have all the negative experiences to intensify them. Instead, she had nothing but admiration for Huntresses, and she'd supported her sister's enrollment in the combat schools. She still remembered how proud she was when Ruby, a full two years younger than most, was expressly invited to Beacon by the Headmaster himself.

Lilac eyes lifted to look at her wives, both of whom had their minds already made up, and sighed before looking at the twins.

She'd definitely lost this battle before it had even begun.

"Here are the rules. You can't start until after the baby's born; fighting to protect yourselves is one thing, but you need to have someone to protect, too. The innocent, the helpless, the weak- that's what Huntresses do. So once your sibling's born, it'll be your responsibility to keep them safe, and we'll teach you how to do that. To start, anyway." She pressed her lips into a thin line. "But we'll take no excuses. If you want to quit at any time, that's fine, but neither of you will rely on Auntie Ruby's position as Headmistress of Beacon to gain acceptance to any of the combat schools. You'll do the work, you'll attend every lesson, and you'll gain every inch of progress through your own merits, individually. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Momma."

"You'll only have one instructor at a time," Blake said, sitting back in her chair. "Momma will be first. Once she deems you're ready, I'll train you. And when I say you can advance, you'll learn from your Mother. We use three very different styles and techniques, so whichever seems to fit you best, you will pursue on your own with us as your sparing partners. But we can't go easy on you."

"Yes, Mommy."

"This isn't just lip service, sweethearts; take this very seriously." Weiss turned towards them, crossing her arms over her chest. "The moment your training begins, we're not your parents. We're your teachers and we're covering subjects that could very well save your life or the lives of others. We will always love you, whether or not you choose to pursue this, but we will be hard on you during training. We will be strict and we will be exacting." She reached out, waiting for the little ones to put a hand in each of hers before she continued. "We will push you, but we will never put you in harm's way. We don't want you to get hurt but, in that same vein, we can't allow you to get lazy or sloppy, either. We'll hold you to a much higher standard that any of your potential classmates, and we do it because we care. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Okay," Yang said, taking a slightly unsteady breath. They still had at least five months before the baby was born, so that gave her some time to truly accept the idea, but it was honestly a fool's hope that their children wouldn't follow in their footsteps somehow. "Then... that's settled. Finish your breakfast."

As the twins returned to their meals with renewed gusto, Blake reached over and lightly squeezed her hand, drawing her attention to her wives. Both of them were smiling, encouraging her that they'd made the right choice. Frankly, she didn't think so, not really, but she couldn't help but admit that there were worse things than their eldest daughters becoming Huntresses...

... still, she really hoped the next one would become an accountant.

[adoranymph]

So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.

They say you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. On a genetic level that’s indisputable, but what if apart from that, your friends are your family? I just love that stuff, personally. Actually, I love stories that examine and enrich family bonds in general, biological or not. And today, I’d like to share a few (a fair few) of them with you, if for no other reason than to try and spread around some warm-fuzzies instead of other, nastier things.

If we’re talking a specific, earliest moment that I recall having a strong reaction to a family bond, I’d have to say it’d be after reading what became my favorite installment in the Harry Potter series, Prisoner of Azkaban. I specifically remember thinking, “Aw, Harry finally has an adult in his life he can see as family.” I mean, yes, the Weasleys were already there in his corner, but Sirius Black had a more personal connection to Harry’s parents that gave this sense of him being able to connect more with the family he’d lost with what little connection he had gained that was left. And yeah, include Lupin in that too, while we’re at it.

And that love for that trope has just grown more with time with the amount of media that I’ve consumed. Found families, blood families, families struggling, families coming together, I eat that up with a big hot fudge sundae spoon. For as long as I can remember, I’ve tailored 99% of my stories around these types of plot points, perhaps with more intensity after having lost my own parents. If only because my fulfillment from it always comes from wanting to see more stories that feature family and family bond themes. Moreover, the opportunity to experience them in fictional contexts offers differing perspectives on family and what family means to others. Which I also enjoy.

With the Fate series, for example, starting with Fate/Zero, the respective relationships of father-and-son in Kiritsugu and Shirou Emiya (which honestly gave me Harry Potter and Sirius Black vibes even though theirs is a relationship far different from what’s here), and father-and-daughter in Kiritsugu and Illya (which I melt at for the sake of being a father-daughter relationship) was the initial thing that most had me immediately hooked, in addition to the concept of historic and legendary heroes from across time coming together in the modern era for a battle royale for the Holy Grail. With all of that though, and everything else great about Fate/Zero (which is, yeah, everything), you have a shoe-in for what still stands as my favorite anime. Although the family moments are minimal, not just in Zero but in its sequel Stay Night as well, the moments themselves are powerful enough to stand out and be effective in spite of that. More than that, but they’re written so well, they transcend any tropiness they would have had in the hands of another creator. Zero in particular.

I think part of that comes from how much Fate and the Type-Moon universe seem to emphasize how broken the family relationships of mages and those related to the supernatural are, which in turn makes the ones that still manage to radiate love all the more precious. Especially in terms of Kiritsugu, his wife Irisviel, and their daughter Illya. Not wanting to repeat myself too much, I’ll distill it down to this: the fact that Kiritsugu’s relationships with them is tailor-made for tragedy might, on paper, seem almost contrived, but it’s Kiritsugu’s character, and Irisviel’s too, that highlight how dearly they love each other, throwing any contrivances about it out the window.

You can read more about it in my Type-Moon post. Suffice to say, I could talk about this stuff for hours, days even perhaps, and that’s just about Kiritsugu’s family. There’re also the Tohsakas and the Matous who all have their varying degrees of screwed-uppedness that still manage to produce people who are loving and caring in their own ways, from child abandonment as a result of a skewed view of fatherhood to just straight-up abuse. Which unfortunately brings to light more twisted examples of my beloved father-daughter trope that really gets under my skin, not unlike a very cold example of this in V. A. Schwabb’s This Savage Song and the unfortunate fact that the main heroine’s father never grew to love his daughter despite his wife’s reassurances that he would. Which is just sad without having to go into much further detail.

Same with Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)/ Fullmetal Alchmeist: Brotherhood. That franchise had the audacity to take my most beloved family trope, the father-daughter relationship, and mangle it (literally as well as figuratively now that I think about it) with the arc of State Alchemist Shou Tucker and his daughter, Nina. Desperate to keep his State Alchemist license, he uses his daughter Nina and their pet dog Alexander in an alchemic experient to create a talking chimera, by fusing the two of them together into one being, making for one of the most equally horrific and tragic scenes I’ve ever seen.

And yet again, these perversions of family are no less enjoyable than those of ones built far more genuinely and conventionally on love and care. Both are satisfying in their own way, to see not only places where love lives, but also places where we know love should live but doesn’t, which makes us, the readers, or the audience, want all the more to scoop these characters up and give them the hugs they deserve.

Funimation

Funimation

Not to say that Fullmetal is all about broken families. In fact, it’s more about the functioning ones that still manage to get torn apart. First you have the main plotline of the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse (Ed and Al). They committed the taboo of “human transmutation” in their attempt to resurrect their mother from the dead. For committing this taboo, they pay a heavy price: Ed, literally an arm and a leg, and Al, his entire body, leaving his soul to remain tethered in the living world by nothing more than a blood seal on a suit of armor. The brothers struggle with their efforts to set things right, and along with what happens to Nina, encounter their estranged father, though in the 2003 version the character arcs that form in those vary to those in the Brotherhood reboot.

In both versions though, their meeting Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and his family, his wife Gracia and daughter Elecia, plays out the exact same tragic way, resulting in one of the worst sucker-punches of a death, and anyone who’s seen the show(s) knows what I mean. There’s even something of a family (if a dysfunctional one) in that of the homunculi (villainous ones in this case, unlike the homunculi in the Fate series). They might be named for the Seven Deadly Sins, but in their respective incarnations between the 2003 version and the reboot version, they develop in various ways, due in no small part to their relationships with each other. And part of what makes a family, in my experience, is nurturing the character of those with whom you are close with your own relationship to them. Hence why blood ties aren’t all that make a family, and why the concept of found families rock.

An anime I just finished recently, March Comes In Like a Lion, a pretty chill show, but still very emotionally engaging, (and chill is a high priority on what I’m looking for right now, which shouldn’t be surprising–save of course for my catching up on Season 3 of Castlevania), involves a young boy, Rei Kiriyama, roped into the fate of becoming a shogi prodigy when he loses his parents and little sister and is taken in by a shogi family as a foster son. The father was a friend of his father’s, but unlike his father, pursued the profession of playing shogi seriously, and unfortunately he was one of those fathers who meted out his affection to his children based on how good they got at the thing he was good at.

Which brings out the dark side of the found family, when Rei proves to be far more talented than either the daughter or the son of that family. He begins to see himself as “in the way”, as the daughter in particular takes her anger with her father out on him, sometimes in violent ways. This is further complicated by the fact that in his early formative years he appeared to have developed a crush on her despite the way she treated him, and continues to treat him throughout the majority of the anime.

Thankfully, where the story starts is with Rei, now in high school and now living on his own as a pro shogi player prodigy, and the relationship he’s developed with a family of threes sisters who just recently lost their mother. With them, he finds all the wonderful things a family can be, certainly the standard to which all found families should measure up to. He finds love and warmth that he’d not only been starving for, but had taught himself not to even hope to expect in his life going forward. An affirmation of where love can be found, not always with blood, and not always with where you thought you’d find it, which will never fail to be an incredibly moving thing to me.

The struggles of a young pro shogi player interlaced with the interpersonal struggles of the characters both inside and outside of the world of shogi, was incredibly satisfying on the emotional palate. I loved it, and it was definitely getting me through this difficult time at present, along with how much keeping in touch (without touching) my own family and friends has been. It’s one of those shows that shares both such dark struggle and passionate triumph and hope, and I’m glad that I chose now of all times to get around to watching it (though initially I chose it because it was the month of March, and it’s called March Comes In Like a Lion so ha ha).  Regardless, while I can’t speak for the manga as I haven’t read that, I recommend the anime to anyone who’s interested, and who’s anxious right now and needs something to binge in this time of self-isolation and still get the warm-fuzzies.

Incidentally, Rei is among a small group of fictional characters, all of who have hit particularly close to home with me. He’s almost a boy version of me: his introversion, his experiences with depression (some of the thoughts he had circling in his head while struggling with that were, a lot of times, verbatim the same as the ones I’ve had, which gave me chills if nothing else), the fact that he had to learn how to “survive” school not because school itself was hard, but just because of the ostracizing social structure, that he lost his blood family and went to live with another, that he wraps himself up in something to cut off the pain that everything else causes him (with him it’s shogi, with me it’s writing)–these things all resonated with my own experiences of losing and regaining family. So much so that at this point, I’ve set aside an idea for doing a separate post on his character. You know, when I get to a few more of the hundreds of other post drafts I have on the backburner.

The shounen anime Kimestu No Yaiba takes the traditional shounen trope of “main character loses whole family to tragedy and that sets him on the hero’s journey he probably wouldn’t have taken otherwise”, and creates what I’d consider the most emotionally engaging shounen I’ve ever watched (and this coming from the same young lady who got herself hooked on Fairy Tail after putting it off for months and months because she told herself she’d never fall into the “shounen trap”). Not only is it done by the godly studio ufotable who put Fate on the map with Fate/Zero, scored by one of my most favorite composers, Yuki Kajiura, but it also features one of the most emotionally engaging shounen fights I have ever seen, and that primarily comes from its focus on the family bond between the main protagonist, Tanjiro Kamado, and his sister-turned-demon, Nezuko, and how searching in the memories of his father, he rediscovers a technique to use that helps him survive a fight that would have otherwise killed him and his sister both.

Fruits Basket (both the original anime adaptation from 2001, and the the reboot coming out now) takes the concept of a family curse and examines how that affects certain of its members, and the ripple effect that comes from one outsider–a young girl grieving the death of her mother–deciding to befriend him through that anime “quirk of fate”. The curse itself being certain members of the family turning into animals of the Chinese zodiac when under stress or…hugged by a member of the opposite sex. Classic. And at first, yeah, is it a bit silly, but then you see how it’s affected those members of the family born with the Zodiac spirits of this curse. Like how one of them has to pretend that he isn’t his mother’s son, because his mother was horrified by the fact that the first time she held her child, he turned into a rabbit, and so, to ease her suffering, she had her memories of her having giving birth to him erased. Which gives credence to the idea that any idea can work, as long it’s executed well. Whether an idea unique will mean nothing if the idea itself is executed poorly.

And the criminally underrated anime film, Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms, tells a fantasy story of a young woman who follows the emotional arc of discovering what it means to be a mother. Maquia, one of a race of immortal people called the Iorph, is separated from the rest of her kind after a  mortal human kingdom attacks them for their power. Alone upon her escape from capture, she comes across a mortal human family who’re all dead, save for their newborn baby boy, and she takes it upon herself to raise the boy as his mother. Along the way she learns what it means to be a mother, the pain that comes with watching a loved one grow old and die and leaving you behind. To say that I felt things in that story would be grave understatement. And it comes from a place of genuine familial emotion: the film’s director and writer, Mari Okada, drew from her own relationship to her own mother.

Even in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the idea of the found family and the idea of family in general isn’t lost on its writers, particularly in regards to Guardians of the Galaxy, which touches not only families, but family abuse. Never mind that it involves people from alien worlds, cyborg assassins, and the like,  it still manages to have a very human resonance. And of particular note is a part of Natasha Romanov’s character arc, and how much she had come to view the Avengers as a family, while at the same time trying to repay the debt of all the lives she’d taken by saving lives instead. Which results in interactions like the very touching sort of brother-sister banter between her and Steve Rogers (that’s right, a male-female pair I don’t actually ship).

In the world of books, The Girl at Midnight, and Daughter of Smoke and Bone both involve found family subplots and explore those in their own creative ways.

We have Echo in The Girl at Midnight, raised by a group of bird-ish people called Avicen, and she gets to live in the attic of a library (lucky), and play a little with the magic she otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to if she hadn’t ended up adopted into her situation. I’m nearly finished with the sequel, The Shadow Hour, and we did get a glimpse of the life she had before: she’d run away from her birth mother, who was an abusive drunk to her daughter, which hurts on the very fundamental fact that we are born in the world with the idea hardwired in there somewhere that our mothers are supposed to love us unconditionally, and certainly never hurt us. It hurt me in my own way too, as my father was an alcoholic, and while he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t abusive either, just more of a lost soul, I suppose, which can carry its own problems trying to function as a parent.

While I wasn’t too keen on the vision Echo has of her past characterizing her mother as the sort of abusive drunk you’d find…eh…like, in an amateur play, it could be argued that the idea was that the vision was based on her memory of her mother, and thus her perception of her at the time. Which was yeah, a mother who spouted nothing but verbal abuse at her daughter and hit her, and for seemingly no reason. And later on, when she discusses it with one of her close friends, not only does her friend tell her that it’s not from whom we are born that defines us, but also that even if her mother had her complicated reasons for why she was the way she was as a parent, the simple fact that’s irrelevant, and there’s never a “good” or “justifiable” reason to hurt a child. That it’s one’s own makes it all the more saddening.

For Daughter of Smoke and Bone, we have another eccentric waif in Karou, raised by a family of people called “chimaera” (not like the ones from Fullmetal Alchemist, these are a mishmash of different animal parts, sometimes human parts too). It too involves a complicated sort of father-daughter relationship that unfortunately seems to have ended in tragedy (I’ve only finished book one), as the slowburn story meticulously reveals that our heroine is being hidden to keep her safe from a threat that stems from a grand, epic, interdimensional war between chimaeras and angels. Last I saw, it looked like the father figure was probably dead, and unfortunately he and Karou hadn’t parted the last time they saw each other on the…best of terms, to put it mildly. Like with Kiritsugu Emiya’s estrangement from his daughter Illya in Fate, this one too hurts in that same, “what could have been, but never will be” way.

Then you’ve got a graphic novels like Saga, written by Brian K. Vaughn and illustrated by Fiona Staples (published by Image Comics), which, again, I was drawn to merely on the premise of it being about a male and female of two different alien races on opposing sides going AWOL together and ending up having a baby daughter along the way. I haven’t got too much into graphic novels aside from this and Monstress (also published by Image Comics), written by Marjorie Liu and illustrated by Sana Takeda (which deals with dead mother and mother-daughter issues against a very dark fantasy setting), but from what I’ve read so far, that premise has delivered as far as emotionally anchoring me to the story is concerned. Couple forced to flee for their lives + newborn introduced to the situation = my interest.

And that’s basically what it boils down to, beyond merely it’s emotional fulfillment for me. Apart from the family and friends I have found in my own life, it’s one other way I can regain something of what I lost in the passing of my parents. Even more than that, it’s a way for me to process it, after initially refusing to process it at all, especially when it comes to my own writing. In some ways, the novel I’m currently working on, the crux of which involves a father-daughter relationship, is a wish fulfillment of my own for the difficult months I spent with my father, between when my mother died and then when he himself died. Which even here is something that’s difficult for me talk about so straightforwardly, so the catharsis I get from writing about these things is far more valuable and useful to me. Even the deconstructional value of the dysfunctional versions of any parent-child relationship, not just father-daughter ones.

Exploring these themes both in writing and reading nurtures feelings and reinforces how important those feelings are. Found families in particular can be a lense through which we can begin to view people who are not related to us by blood still as kin, if only for the fact that we all are human. Family themes engender hope, even in the case of dysfunctional families, and it’s moving to see families who work to earn each other’s love as well as love unconditionally, depending on circumstances. Especially when death and danger threaten to tear those bonds apart, only for those bonds to emerge stronger than ever.

In times like these, don’t forget those you care about the most, or even those who you know who don’t receive as much care as they should, and reach out if you can (and thanks to the internet, reaching out remotely isn’t out of the question). The simple act of looking out for someone else is one of the most beautiful things about being human in my opinion, more so that it’s not even an exclusively human thing, which serves to draw we humans closer to each other. It’s a precious thing, and losing that would be a tragedy indeed in the long run. So as I press onward with this thing called living from day to day, I’ll keep seeking new family dynamics that inspire me with joy, with sorrow, and with hope. Particularly the hope that I’m not the only one who finds value in seeking these out in stories far and wide, and learning from them, and taking them sincerely to heart.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure I’m keeping up with the currently running Kakushigoto, incidentally an anime about a father who draws adult manga and tries to keep the nature of his profession a secret from his young daughter. Hijinks and heartwarmingness I’m sure are in store. In the meantime, also enjoy this very emotional Fullmetal Alchemist AMV, as well as a revisit to the “Shelter” music video by Porter Robinson. Because fathers and daughters.

  Family Bonds So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.