#regarding Uncontrollable Inclinations™ and the other person not wanting to take advantage of them while theyre in that state

[baylardo]

bruh,,,, cringe naenae threshold au thoughties lol,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,when kathryn’s kinda building up to going into Heat™ for the first time after devolving (peak cringe posting for me its HUMILIATING but here you go) IDK JUST RAMBLING. MY THOUGHTS ARE SO MESSY AND FICKLE IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! we were just talking about it last night and i was UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in that time inbetween threshold and resolutions in s2,,,,,) she doesnt realize its happening at first, maybe she never realizes it when its happening, but she finds herself inclined to be around chakotay more than usual. maybe she excuses the inclination as being justified by him having taken care of her while she was in her evolved state. she inquires after his free time, requests what he begins to find to be somewhat trivial and excessive reports given in her readyroom, finds any plausible excuse to spend more time with him. for a while he suspects nothing, admittedly enjoying her company and concerns as to his whereabouts when they aren’t together on the bridge. there were slight differences he’d noticed in her mannerisms, but none of her behaviors particularly alerted him to something building; yes she touched him more and perhaps seemed a little too close to him sometimes for formality’s sake, but overall they appeared on the surface to be casual and well-intended in nature. 

chakotay would gradually begin to distance himself from the captain, suspecting these interactions weren’t as entirely agent on her side of things as he would have liked. her response to his cold shoulder would be to pursue him more fervently, predicting his movements, assigning him more tasks to excuse being around him more in a formal environment, perhaps even going so far as to break down in front of him when she’d suspect he was avoiding her. things would come to a head when she’d intrude on his quarters in the dead of night aggressively demanding him to sleep with her, admitting to confessions that given their formal relationship, likely should have remained unknown to him despite how much he’d craved this from her for so long but under vastly different circumstances. with his firm refusal of the offer, knowing she isn’t entirely in control of her actions, she’d try to force herself on him. when that doesn’t work she tries in a final resort to plead with him to be with her before succumbing to fatigue and collapsing on the floor of his room. 

she fades in and out of consciousness for a time, but she knows she’s in his bed, and the fragrances of his quarters are oddly soothing despite the waves of agonizing pain she’s experiencing. chakotay informs the emh and no one else of the captain’s state, worried that if she’s maintained elsewhere, she’d slip and admit to something she’d have not liked to have been made public in the proper state of mind. (quite honestly i cant recall how developed the emh is in season 2 lmao idk if he’s stuck in sickbay or can zoop around the ship yet soz. but in the case that he can’t leave sickbay, chakotay would obviously be the only one tending to her)

eventually her delirium breaks after several days of withdrawal-like symptoms and chakotay, despite maintaining the ship during that time, leaving her side as little as his duties would allow. when she wakes she finds him next to the bed she’d occupied for a time, sleeping and awaiting her recovery.