#reg listening to every James' ramble

[littleyellowtangerine]

Well, it’s not an everyday ocurrence to hear Regulus call him by his name instead of Potter, is it?

What do you think? I like this way of drawing James better :)) ready to draw silly things (or if you have any ideas, they are welcomed)

Alsoooo, i didn’t knew what to write for them so I went for a trope that I’m weak for but I included a version without text cause they are cute like that too 🍊

[iamgonnagetyouback]

Hi! Can I request an angst with wolfstar and reader? With happy ending please! Something like they are already in a relationship but have a disagreement over something silly, but that makes reader overthink about her position in their relationship. Reader then says something like “I cant do this anymore” and leave them, making them think she’s leaving them for good. Reader then recluses herself for a few days and the boys go crazy and realize they’ve messed up and try to win her back. Ending very fluff and emotional. Thank you much!!!

wolfstar x reader who feels like she doesn't fit in

Living with Sirius and Remus was everything you'd ever wanted—most of the time. Their flat was a mix of your things scattered with Sirius’s leather jackets and Remus’s dog-eared books. It was cozy, filled with warmth and laughter, until the day a seemingly harmless argument stirred something much deeper.

“I want a cat,” you announced over breakfast, running a hand through your messy bedhead. "They're cute, they're fluffy, and they could keep me company when you two are off doing...whatever it is you do.”

Sirius scoffed, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “Oh darling, a cat? Really? We're more of a dog household. You’ve got one against two here.”

His words hit you with an unexpected sting. You forced a smile, pretending to brush it off, but as the minutes passed, the thought of ‘one against two’ burrowed deeper into your mind. “Whatever, Sirius,” you muttered, trying not to sound too annoyed. You huffed and stormed off to the bedroom you shared with them, feeling the weight of something more than a silly disagreement.

Lying in bed, the phrase replayed over and over. One against two. It's always been that way, hasn't it? You thought about the times Sirius and Remus had shared private jokes, their comfortable familiarity, and how sometimes—no, often—you felt like an outsider in your own relationship.

The more you thought about it, the more it all made sense. In every disagreement, every decision, it was always them, together, and then you—floating on the edges. Your breathing quickened, and a gnawing panic started to crawl up your chest. Suddenly, you couldn't stay in the room anymore. The air felt thick, suffocating. You stumbled downstairs, only to find Sirius washing dishes and Remus lazily watching TV.

Their easy comfort only made your heart race faster. The room’s clean now, you thought. It’s always clean when I’m not there. Am I the mess? Your mind spun in circles, overthinking every detail.

“I, um— I need to go to Regulus’s,” you blurted out, grabbing your jacket.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder, surprised. “Regulus? Why?”

“I just... need to get something from him.” You barely managed to keep your voice steady as you headed out the door.

Lily opened the door to the Potter household with a kind smile. “Is Regulus here?” you asked hurriedly.

She nodded, pointing upstairs. “Yeah, he’s in his room. You okay?”

You nodded quickly, rushing up the stairs and waving at James as he lounged on the couch. The moment you stepped into Regulus’s room, everything came pouring out.

“Reg—I—how did you do it? How did you settle into a relationship where you weren’t there from the beginning?” you asked in a small, broken voice.

Regulus looked up from his book, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”

You started pacing, rambling about your insecurities, how you always felt like the third wheel in your own relationship with Remus and Sirius. Regulus listened quietly, his usual sarcasm absent, replaced with genuine concern.

“It was hard at first,” Regulus admitted after a moment. “When I started seeing James and Lily, they were already obsessed with each other. I didn’t think I fit in, not really. But over time, I realized that it wasn’t about being a third piece—they made space for me. We all had to adjust. And... I had my own insecurities too.”

You exhaled slowly, feeling some of the tension release, but your heart still raced.

“Can I stay here for a few days?” you asked quietly.

Regulus nodded immediately. “Of course, love. Let me just check with James and Lily.”

He left the room for a few minutes, and when he returned, he smiled softly. “You’re all set. Stay as long as you need.”

The next few days at the Potters’ were a much-needed distraction. You and Lily spent hours gossiping while James poked fun at you both. Regulus made sarcastic comments, but his calm presence was soothing. You were able to forget your worries for brief moments, but deep down, they still lingered.

Meanwhile, Remus and Sirius were losing their minds.

Lily had told them you were staying at their place, but she hadn’t given any details, leaving the two men in a state of panic. They replayed the last few days, wondering if they had missed something, if they had hurt you without realizing.

“Is she breaking up with us?” Sirius asked Regulus in a frantic whisper when they showed up at the Potters' house. “Please, Reg, let us talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want to see you right now,” Regulus replied, smirking a little too smugly.

But from the next room, you overheard their conversation. After a deep breath, you nodded to Regulus, letting him know it was okay.

When they saw you, their eyes filled with relief and... guilt. Sirius immediately shoved a bouquet of flowers into your hands—wild, colorful, and chaotic, just like him. “You can get as many cats as you want. Even a dog! A dragon, if you want. Otter? You want an otter? We’ll get one.”

You chuckled weakly, clutching the flowers to your chest. “A cat will do.”

Remus stepped closer, his eyes full of concern. “We didn’t mean to make you feel like you weren’t part of us. You’re everything, love. We’re so sorry.”

It took a moment for you to find the words, your voice trembling with vulnerability. “I just... I always feel like it’s two against one. Like I don’t fit in. Like I’m not really... part of you.”

Their faces softened, and Sirius gently cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. “We never meant for you to feel like that. You’re not ‘one against two’—you’re part of the two. We’re all three.”

Remus took your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “We’ll work on making sure you feel that, every day. But please, don’t ever think you’re not enough for us.”

The room filled with so many emotions—relief, love, and a lingering tenderness. In that moment, you realized how much they truly cared.

“Let’s get a cat,” Sirius murmured, his grin returning. “A tiny, fluffy one that’ll sit on my lap.”

You smiled softly, finally feeling like you belonged. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

thank you so much for the request, love! i think i drifted away from the request a bit

[hidden-for-reg]

July 1: astrology | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 880

*surgeon x patient au*

previous part, part one

As soon as James had left, Regulus had wanted him there again, but he was sure James had tons of real work to do. In all fairness though, Regulus did need to talk to James about his surgery. Regulus had decided by now that he did want the surgery, and not just as an excuse to spend more time around James. Frankly, his knee was constantly in a low, throbbing pain even though Dorcas had given him some painkillers. It had been getting annoying. Plus, Regulus figured it couldn't hurt anyway since his brother was a doctor and therefore, Regulus had good medical insurance, so money wouldn't be an issue here.

Regulus' train of thought was interrupted by Dorcas coming into his room with a light knock. "Hey, babes," she cooed, plopping herself down next to Regulus on his bed, "I've got today's astrology horoscope, thought I might share." He scooted over to make more room for her and she curled into his side, taking out a magazine. 

Dorcas flipped it open and began rambling to Regulus about all the ways she was supposedly going to be lucky that day, according to her star sign.  Then, she opened the magazine to a new page and started telling Regulus about the ways he'd be lucky that day. 

"Wait, but how'd you know my birthday?" He asked her, interrupting her warnings to him about things he was supposed to avoid that day.

Dorcas laughed. "I may or may not have looked at your chart," she remarked with a smirk.

"Well, I sure hope you looked at my chart, you're the nurse on my case," Regulus retorted with a chuckle. 

"Oh, and Regulus, look," Dorcas added, tapping her finger on the page, "it says here that you'll be lucky in love, today." She smirked at him again. "Or, perhaps, have you already gotten lucky in love today?"

"Dorcas, I've not even known you for a day," he snorted.

"Hardly means I can't be interested in what you've got going on with one of the hottest guys in the hospital." 

"I thought you said you liked girls though?"

"My love, some things are just universally agreed upon, and James Potter is one of those."

Regulus couldn't argue with that so, he remained mostly silent and gave her a vague mumble to show he agreed. 

"So? Tell me what happened after I left!" Dorcas demanded, punching him playfully in the arm.

"Well, he came in, saying all this BS that he needed to check my heart beat," Regulus started, "then, he took out his little heart-listening-tool thing and stood a million times closer than normal. But, like, no complaints from me. Then, he was all like 'good news is you're fine, bad news is I can't snog you'. By that point he was less than an inch away, but then the git had the gall to just cut it quits there and leave. So, that's what he did!" Regulus finished his story with an exasperated flourish of his hands, dropping them in his lap after. 

Dorcas opened her mouth, clearly about to ramble again, when Regulus' phone began vibrating from where it sat on the bedside table. He picked it up, groaned inwardly when he saw the name on the screen, and answered. 

"Barty, mate, what is it?"

"What, I'm not allowed to check in on my best friend while he's in the hospital? When Evan had to go to the hospital for his broken ankle, I called him every couple hours. And he never complained, not once!"

"Barty, Evan's your boyfriend, of course he didn't complain!"

"Just because we're not lovers anymore doesn't mean you have to stop showing me the LOVE, Reg. Where's all that LOVE you showed me when we were together? The love we had when we were still f-"

"Barty."

"Right, right. Anyways- Evan, me, and Pandora are thinking of coming round the hospital to be with you before and after the big surgery." 

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Well, if Evan and Panda don't decide to show up, I know I'M coming, because I'M an amazing best friend. Well, apparently not, according to the lack of love you're showing currently."

Regulus rolled his eyes again.

"HEY. I can feel you rolling your eyes. Because only a best friend would be able to tell and I just so happen to be-"

"Okay, yes, Barty, I love you, the love is here, this is me showing you the love," Regulus stated flatly. "Is that all? I was a bit in the middle of something."

"Oh, in the middle of something? Who have you charmed into thinking you're normal again? They better not be trying for the best friend slot, Reg. I don't know if I've made it clear, mate, but as your best friend, I kind of care about you and wouldn't like to see some other idiot kick you around. Call me a crazy, possessive ex, but hey, that's exactly what-"

"Barty, mate, love and care aside, please shut up."

"Alright, alright, I get it. I'll leave. I can take a hint. I can tell when someone doesn't love me anymore-"

Regulus hung up on Barty and sighed, putting his phone back on the bedside table. "Sorry, Dorcas," he mumbled. 

Next part

[lexithwrites]

okay the ppl saying that trans characters are often written as submissive just bc they’re trans is so real.

like remus for example, i personally hc him as a dom, i don’t rlly hc him as trans but like i’ll dabble ofc. i read this one fic with trans remus wolfstar and he was like dom and i was like okayyy hot.

it was literally the only one.

so many ppl hc him as trans and there are liek a sprinkling of fics with him being trans and one with him being dom. tf is up with that. and him being dom is a pretty popular hc.

it’s fucked up

agreed! i can see remus switching and being verse, just like sirius i see wolfstar as a very switch/verse couple and its super fun, but ive only seen him as either super alpha dom or just kinda,,,there lmao. i wanna point out im not saying that trans people cant be submissive (i know some asshole will try and twist my words if i dont say this lmao) because literally anybody can be, regardless of gender or sexuality, but truly i dont like the way a lot of trans characters are written as petite and submissive and shy when there's no other variety? there's nothing wrong with it until its the only portrayal people are writing, then it starts to become an issue for me. i LOVE writing trans reg with all of my heart, but i only feel comfortable writing him as dominant, i truly dont get why, but i feel like it has something to do with how the fandom has written him over time. this is just an opinion, no hate to anyone else, but a lot of the time people make him a strong character but then he folds for james in bed and its just,,,idk, i dont personally like it, i feel like he would want to have control over all aspects of his life, but thats just how i characterise him. its why i enjoy writing james as submissive because every other part of his life is his to control and take, everyone loves him and listens to him and does as he says but then when he's alone in the bed with reg? he follows HIS orders and its a nice switch, it gives him time to decompress and just let go, have someone else tell him what to do, be the leader etc. idk this was a long ramble but i hope i got my point across haha

[prongsfish]

hi fish! i'm begging to know more about the music store au wip pleaseeee

ahhh hi of course!! this is a very new one, based on a post by @hellojuiceboxbaby – it’s still in very early stages, but the basic idea is that remus owns a music store that james works at with him, and sirius works at a tattoo shop on the same street, so he picks up orders for both him and regulus, who live together. remus and sirius are flirting every chance they get, while james starts to fall for sirius’ elusive brother through his music taste and starts sending notes alongside whatever he buys. it’s basically a huge excuse for me to ramble about the music i like LMAO

reg in this is like, super pretentious, and james finds it sooo endearing. the first note he gets from james infuriates him because how dare anyone compliment his music taste, they don’t even KNOW and he progressively asks sirius to buy him more and more obscure albums. it gets to the point where sirius is horribly embarassed asking remus to check their system for the tenth french screamo band in a row that they definitely don’t have, meanwhile james is grinning like a maniac to the side because he thinks regulus trying to show off is adorable. eventually he starts buying recommendations for reg and unfortunately for him he loves them and it makes him FURIOUS. how DARE he. as soon as sirius catches on he’s mocking him relentlessly for it and reg is just coming up with excuse after excuse as to why he can’t come to the store with him.

and while he’s being as difficult as possible, sirius is having the time of his life flirting with the lanky and handsome-in-an-odd-way guy with a great taste in music who’s just as adamant as him that vinyl is the ultimate way to listen to music, and they’re both falling so hard so fast. they’re both just as bold and simultaneously easily flustered as each other and it’s all very disgustingly sweet.

[spikybanana]

jegulily week day 3: food: Regulus visits the Potters' house pls tell me if I fucked up indian-anything [masterpost here] [prompts here]

When Regulus and Lily came in from the Potters’ garden, it was to find James sitting at the dining table alone, happily digging into a frankly astonishing spread of Effie’s cooking. 

Regulus froze in his tracks. Not at James and his hooligan-ish table manners— that he’d long been acquainted with— but hitting him face-first was an overpowering wave of warmth that was so much more than the rich aroma of spices that permeated the air. Regulus had seen pictures, heard descriptions from James and Lily, but to step into the house and see for himself everything that screamed home and wrapped around him the way a metaphorical warm threadbare blanket might— because of course it’s nothing he’d ever known beyond an idea. But even the quietness of their arrival, the absence of fanfare (which Regulus suspected was deliberate but appreciated deeply) made it feel like they already belonged here. And the food, more unassuming and welcoming than even a Hogwarts dinner— there’s so much of it Regulus couldn’t imagine how many people it’d take to finish it all. 

"What's all… this?" he muttered.

Lily turned to him amusedly, and James laughed out loud.

"Food! What do you think it is?" James grinned, scooped another mouthful of curry and naan before promptly reaching out with his buttery hands to drag Regulus to the table. "Real food, Reg! Not whatever poncy bullshit you’re forced to nibble your way through at home, or the piss poor attempts at dal by Hogwarts kitchen—” 

Lily sat down with him. She was biting back a smile at how James buzzed with excitement, rambling on and on as he flicked his wrist to send a wandless cleaning spell at their hands, “Come on, then, get your sleeves rolled up and dig in.”

“Where’s everyone else?” he asked slowly, still overwhelmed. He looked between his hands to the basket of warm naan and felt a strange urge to cry.

“Sirius and Remus are in the kitchen trying to help mum.” James shrugged.

“Trying.” Regulus repeated pointedly.

Lily snorted, “Yeah, you get it, that’s the keyword. Though I bet they’d be doing better than you and I would.” she added with a wink.

“Good thing dad actually likes his naan a bit burnt.” James said breezily, before his excitement returned, he leaned forward, shoved bits of naan into Lily and Regulus’ hands, “Well go on, try some now we’ll wait for them later— holy shit Reg, I can’t believe you’ve never had mum’s cooking before— here, do you want the dal or the palak paneer? Don’t worry about the bread, there’s more coming. Oh you’ve got to try the curry, it’s your colour and everything—”

Lily was laughing and Regulus was shouting James’ name and protesting before the boy could shove the whole table at him. Coincidentally, that happened to be the moment Mrs Potter entered the room, and Regulus was so embarrassed he sprung from his chair and stood up, stuttering out a greeting to her as he slowly dropped the bit of naan back onto his plate.

“Oh love.” Effie smiled, and even Regulus couldn’t interpret it as anything other than warm and loving. “Sit, sit. Eat what you like, don’t listen to James.” Her hand went to ruffle James’ hair even at his indignant cry. “Bless your heart, dear child, Sirius had reacted the exact same way.”

Her voice betrayed something wistful. Anger flashed for a moment in her eyes then was gone. Then, she was doing exactly what James did, piling naan and scooping curry into his plate, setting off on a motherly ramble the likes of which Regulus had only read in books. By the end of it, Regulus felt his face burning to the tips of his ear but he couldn’t bring himself to complain. Sirius and Remus and James’ father had gathered around the table as well, everyone chattered openly and pretended to not see when a tear rolled down Regulus’ cheek. Family, he heard in every laughing, loving gesture, and this was all so— different. Under the table, Lily’s soft fingers threaded into his and squeezed, and Regulus felt it like a squeeze in his chest right around his heart.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

The Prank - Boys Don’t Cry

For @abcjosiet @bluebirdlinginthenest @maraudermeryn who have all been really vocally supportive of We Can Be Heroes in recent weeks - as a thank you!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a prequel to the canon marauders fic We Can Be Heroes. If you enjoyed that fic, I hope you like this prequel, which centres on events in the marauders' 5th Year leading up to The Prank. It will be around 4-5 chapters long max. If you haven't read it, it won't make any difference.

Chapter 1: Gone Away

I would tell you That I loved you If I thought that you would stay But I know that it's no use That you've already Gone away

Boys Don’t Cry (The Cure)

The Summer holidays loomed over him, like a tsunami. Even in his dreams. He had started having horrifically realistic nightmares. Standing barefoot in a sandy cove, screaming at his mother, who suddenly disappeared, replaced by a towering wall of water, drowning him. He’d woken up drenched in sweat. Standing in Orion’s study, listening as his father told him “we are not giving you a watch for your seventeenth, we don’t love you, you don’t deserve it”, Regulus stepping forwards, both arms outstretched, as his father placed a vintage, platinum watch on each of his wrists. Oddly, they reminded him of handcuffs. He had woken up crying, for some godforsaken reason. Disgusted at himself. He didn’t care about his parents. He didn’t care. He refused to care.

He swiped angrily at his eyes and threw the bedclothes over himself in frustration. He had hardly slept in the past few weeks, three hours a night, at most. If he’d known, James would have described it as one fucking thing after another. Remus would have called it “an unfortunate concatenation of events”. How did he always have the right word for every single possible scenario? It was incredibly attractive. Well, he presumed girls would think that. If he were a girl. Never mind, that didn’t even make sense…

He called it a clusterfuck. And he was right.

His dismay about the Summer. His abortive attempts to talk to Reg. The ever-growing open hostilities between the Marauders and the Pureblood Pricks. Including, but by no means limited to, the recent Peter Pantsing Episode, which had earned him two weeks of detention. Yet somehow, the bastard had only ended up with one week. Fuck him.

“Wow. The level of skill and wit that it must take to cast Levicorpus and then stand underneath him and call him names, not even inventive ones… so impressive, so mentally and technically challenging…” Sirius’ voice had oozed contempt as he advanced alone towards the group of tossers, wand out.

A few of them immediately broke eye contact with Peter’s figure, hovering near the corridor ceiling, arms flailing about helplessly. Their spells broken, Peter lurched downwards with a fearful yelp. Mulciber didn’t, wand still pointing up at his friend, a cruel sneer on his face.

“Hello, Coz,” he smiled. “We were just telling him that there are penalties to pay for hanging around with blood traitor scum like you, Black. That it’s your fault we picked on him, and will do so again. So much for calling them your friends, Black. If you even knew what a loyal friend was, you’d have distanced yourself from them all months ago.”

Sirius’ footsteps faltered momentarily.

“Oh yes, because I’m friends with every single muggleborn in the school, such a popular guy.”

His laughter sounded harsh. If there was one good thing he had believed about himself, it was that he was a loyal friend. Mulciber’s messing with your head, old chap, he tried to reassure himself, sounding exactly like Prongs’ Mother Hen ramblings.

“Missed him, did you, your boring, talentless, useless friend? The one you allow to hang out with you, out of pity. What’s his name again? Oh yes. Peter Pitiful. Here to check up on your pathetic little half-blood friend? Surprised you noticed him gone, your boring, fat little-“

Keep reading Chapter 1

[jamsiesir]

Hello! I’ve been checking your prompts list and I don’t know if you’d write something besides romantic relationship but I’ll try my chance. 😅 Would you consider writing something brotherly between Sirius and Regulus? I’d be happy if you write one of this three: 23, 44, or 45💕

Hi, anon. I’ve tried to do all of the quotes because I thought of something that could fit well enough. As I finished it, I’m not actually sure I caught the prompts’ essence or what you were thinking about when you asked for it, but I hope you will like it anyway <3

It’s also pretty long.

TW: Physical abuse, TW: Psychological abuse (Walburga’ and Orion’s A+++ parenting)

This is the order I used for the quotes:

23. We’re so weird. That’s what I like about us, actually.

45. A promise is all I want. A promise that you will never forget me.

44. Tears are words the heart cannot say.

---

Sirius is only a year and a half when Regulus is born: he can’t remember anything of that very moment - all he can say about it is that he has loved him since his very first cry. Years later, Sirius would rather die than admit how much he loves his little brother, but at six years old he doesn't have all that pride, neither does he have all that anger that will tear them apart. 

«Do it again, Siri!» Regulus little voice calls out, giggling as a four year old does, clapping excitedly. 

Father and Mother are at uncle Cygnus' home, so the two of them are all alone (if you don't count Kreacher) - in moments like this, Sirius feels as free as a bird and does whatever he can to make Regulus feel like that too. 

«Okay,» he says, climbing up the stairs again. «Move, go more on the right - you'll get hurt» he advises his little brother as he jumps onto the banister. He waits to see if Regulus moved away and then, he smiles at him. «Ready, Reg?» as his little brother nods, Sirius gives himself a push, letting his body slide down the banister. 

Regulus shrieks happily, then runs towards him and stands there - his little hands pressed on his sides, big eyes twinkling with adoration. 

Sirius beams at him, then climbs down to stand on the floor and reaches out to hug him. «It was funny, wasn't it?»

Regulus hums gladly, arms going around Sirius' body just like he wanted to do before. 

«Do you know what's more funny, Reg?» the older brother asks, biting down a laugh at the confused face Regulus shows. «The tickling monster!» Sirius announces and then moves his fingers to his sides, tickling him. 

«Nooo, Siri, stooop» Regulus begs, giggling and then laughing out loud, trying to get away. 

How unfitting of the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and his brother, Sirius thinks in a good imitation of his mother's sneer. Good thing he will never get tired of having fun. 

---

Regulus hugs himself, hidden in his room, as his parents' voices rumble in the corridor linking Sirius' room to his own. He and his brother were playing their own version of hide and seek, counting together and then running away to hide from Sirius' boring tutor - giggling silently as the man went crazy searching for them. 

Then, Mother and Father came back home and got angry at them. As always, Sirius is taking the blame, getting scolded and - Regulus shudders as the sound of a slap resounds in the silence - and this time isn't even his fault. Regulus has noticed Sirius was bored and - and he has wanted to cheer him up just like his big brother does for him every time. He bites on his bottom lips, feeling his eyes burn at the noises and yells - he swallows the tears down and raises his chin, back straightening up. A Black doesn't cry, it doesn't matter if he is only six years old. 

«Kreacher,» he calls out, voice shaking a little. 

The crack of apparition is too loud. «Master Regulus has called Kreacher?» the house elf asks, looking at him. 

The boy nods, pressing his hands to his eyes in an attempt not to cry. «Kreacher, could you please tell me when Mother and Father go downstairs?» I want to go to Sirius remains unsaid. 

As Kreacher disapparates, Regulus closes his eyes and waits, willing for the time to go quickly. 

After what seems like an eternity, Kreacher apparates again into the room. «Master Orion and Mistress Walburga are in the tapestry room, Master Regulus» he says, bowing until his nose touches the floor. 

Regulus smiles a little at him. «Thank you, Kreacher. You are very nice.»

The house elf looks like he wants to disagree, but doesn't and bows again before disappearing for the second time. 

Regulus climbs down the bed and runs to the door, then tiptoes along the corridor towards Sirius' room. 

As he opens the door, he sees his brother curled up on the bed - his shoulders are shaking and Regulus can see that he is trying to subside the sobs. The boy enters the room slowly, as if trying not to disturb him, then closes the door without making a sound. 

«Sirius» Regulus calls out, going near the bed. 

«Go away, Reg» Sirius replies with a broken voice. 

«I'm sorry, Siri» he keeps on, jumping on the bed. «It’s all my fault, I'm sorry» Regulus tells him, feeling his eyes swell up. «I just wanted to make you smile, Siri - you should have told them, you - » his words are cut off as his brother turns to him, giving him a look that shuts him up. 

«It was my fault, Reg» Sirius says, swallowing some of the sobs that threaten to darken his voice. «Reg, it was my fault. You didn't do anything, okay? It was me. I was the one who suggested it, I was the one pressing you into doing it.»

«You didn't - »

Sirius shakes his head. «I'm your older brother, listen to me» his voice is a bit higher and Regulus presses his lips together, trying hard not to cry. «Whatever happens, whoever initiates it, it will always be my fault, is it clear?» his arms sweep Regulus into a hug. «I'm not going to let them do this to you - it's my job to protect you.»

Regulus nods, then shakes his head, then nods again: family should protect each other, Blacks are supposed to stick together and protect each other - that's what all of their ancestors say. Defending his own brother is Regulus' job too - sometimes he wishes to be as brave as Sirius, so that he can stand up to their parents and keep him safe too. 

---

«Try not to get in trouble» Regulus says, watching as Sirius observes his new wand. «Cissy will be there for two more years, so you could look to her and - »

«I won't spend time with Narcissa, she's always with Malfoy» Sirius replies, frowning. 

«He will graduate this year, so - »

«- I don't even know if I will be sorted in Slytherin.»

Regulus eyes widen as he hears his words - his face as white as Sirius' bedsheets. «Don't say something like this. You are a Black and you will get sorted in Slytherin just like everyone else.»

Sirius shakes his head and looks at him in defiance. «Look, I didn't want to tell you, but I'm pretty sure I will be in Gryffindor, Reg.»

The ten year old can feel his own body go cold at the thought. «No,» he says, breathless. «No, Sirius. No. You can't be in Gryffindor - Mother will kill you if you are» he stutters, looking at his brother in fear. 

Sirius lets his wand fall on the mattress and reaches out to give him a one-armed hug. «Reggie,» he says, mouth pressed against his brother's hair. «Mother will not kill me,» his voice is steady, but Regulus can read the note of uncertainty in it. «She will probably try to send me off to Durmstrang, but she won't kill the Black Heir» and that - that is the only thing that makes their parents bear Sirius' rebel attitude. 

«She will punish you nevertheless.»

«It’s nothing that I haven't already endured, isn't it?»

Regulus bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. «Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, please.»

«I don't want to be in Slytherin, Reg.» 

«You have to - »

«No!» Regulus falls on his back as Sirius takes back his wand and stands up. «You can ask me anything, Reg, anything - but I won't give up on trying not to be like them, I won't stop wanting to be my own person» Regulus watches as Sirius keeps on rambling. «I will endure everything they'll do, but I won't bend. I'll be what I want to be.»

This is the moment, Regulus realises, that changes everything.

This is the moment in which Regulus gets a look into their family's future.  

--

On September 1st 1971, Sirius is sorted into Gryffindor. 

Father and Mother are furious and Regulus decides to do what Sirius will never do. 

He gives up and bends. 

--

Sirius' room is red and gold: everything in it screams Gryffindor, Muggle-lover, Blood traitor - Regulus can feel his stomach churn at the sight of it. Sirius has now friends, people who are everything Regulus will never be. People who fight with Regulus' housemates, who sometimes prank him too - laughing at him. 

Sirius doesn't spend that much time with him anymore: in the summer, he makes sure to attend enough family functions so that their parents won't complain, then he goes to the Potters' as soon as he can, leaving Regulus behind. 

Before going to Hogwarts, Regulus has never imagined this would happen: he and Sirius have made different choices (the most important being rebelling against surviving), but he has hoped Sirius wouldn’t treat him like that. Speaking with him is impossible now: they fight every time they are alone in the same place - sometimes they fight even when they’re in the castle grounds, surrounded by students, with James Potter’s arm wrapped around Sirius’ shoulders and Remus Lupin’s hand restraining his older brother’s wand hand. Then, when they try to make amends,  they do it at the wrong times, always getting on the other’s nerves as a result.

Regulus doesn’t know how it feels to laugh with Sirius anymore.

He closes his eyes as he hears a shout coming from downstairs: Sirius is fighting again with their parents - they must have talked to Sirius about their plans for him. 

«Are you bloody mad, you crazy bitch?» Sirius is yelling as he climbs up the stairs. «I'm not going to marry Lucretia Goyle or Penelope Crabbe - and I'm not going to marry Druella's niece!» Regulus has the time to return into his bedroom before Sirius and their parents come into sight. «I'm not going to take part of any more inbreeding, fucking - »

Regulus closes the door as he sees his father gripping Sirius' wrist, making him turn towards them.

He sits on the floor as his brother's screams echo in the hallway, at the same time as their mother is yelling (You will do what I say, you filthy scum. Mudblood lover, shame of the house of my fathers, staining my blood with your putrid mouth) and their father is probably standing there, in his quiet support to their mother's actions. 

«Walburga» Father says making the screaming stop and Mother shut up. «Tomorrow, you will come to the Rosiers with me and your mother and you will behave as you are expected to do. I won't excuse your eccentricities anymore - is it clear?»

Regulus doesn’t need to look to know what kind of face Sirius is making: it's the one they learnt together, to mask their feelings - look into the distance until you lose the focus, keep every muscle of your face relaxed, feigning indifference to what is happening. Keep it up until they're out of sight and earshot: they will think it implies assent and will go away. 

It takes a minute before Regulus can hear their mother's heels and their father's shoes climb down the stairs, and thirty seconds for him to decide to see how Sirius is doing. 

«Sirius, how - »

His breath hitches while he takes in his brother's figure: there is a cut on his right cheek, and a purple stain on his left temple. What worries Regulus the most is that Sirius is shaking: his entire body trembles as the sixteen years old paces around his own room. 

«I have to go away» Sirius says, then opens his school trunk and begins to take as much clothes as he can from the closet. «I have to go away, I have to go away» he repeats and his voice is shaking too. 

«Sirius - »

«James,» the name strikes a pang of childish jealousy across Regulus' heart. «I need to go to James - they will take me in while I search for a place to stay.»

«Sirius - »

«They will kill me if I wait until I'm of age to get out of this fucking house» his breathing is laboured. «It was the longest she has crucio-ed me - she will kill me if I don't go away»

«Siri»

The nickname seems to do the trick: Sirius stills his frenetic movements and looks up, right into his eyes. He is still shaking, but his gaze is more focused than a second ago. 

«You're running away from home» it's a statement, not even a question. 

«I have to, Reg» Sirius' voice is hoarse. «Do you understand me? I have to.»

I'm your older brother - it's my job to protect you - Regulus' mind offers the worst memory at the worst time. 

«You'll be fine, Reggie, don't worry - you're their perfect pureblood son» his voice is mocking as he closes the trunk. «Just - don't let them talk you into anything you don't want to do» Regulus knows Sirius is talking about Bellatrix' and Lucius' new friends. «We'll see each other at Hogwarts» if he is trying to reassure him, it doesn't work. 

Don't go, don't leave me alone. 

I know we don't speak that much anymore, but please - please, Siri. 

Sirius brushes past him, dragging his trunk behind him. 

Please, Sirius, don't forget me here. 

--

Two days after that, the Potters' owl brings them a letter. Signed by Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, the letter contains a list of Sirius' items the Blacks are supposed to send them and an implied threat to bring a lawsuit against them for child abuse if they don't comply. 

Mother forbids Regulus to speak to his brother ever again. 

Regulus, now alone for real, bends. 

 ---

 Regulus is dead. 

That's all Sirius hears as the Order meeting goes on - his ears are ringing, his blood pumps furiously in his veins. He tries to listen to Frank Longbottom's report, but his mind doesn't seem to want to do it. So, he stares at a point in front of him until he loses focus and relaxes his face. 

Regulus is dead.

You're running away from home

«Padfoot, how are you?»

Regulus is dead. 

Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, please.

«Talk to me, Sirius, please.»

Regulus is dead. 

«James, I think something's wrong with Sirius.»

Regulus is dead. 

I just wanted to make you smile, Siri.

«Sirius, love, will you talk to us?»

Regulus is dead. 

Do it again, Siri!

«Pads, I'm getting worried. Please, say something.»

Regulus is dead. 

«Siri»

Sirius' gaze begins to focus again, taking in first Remus' worried face, then James', and at last Lily's. He swallows, he feels dry and he may have a furry tongue. 

«Is the meeting ended?» he asks, and Lily nods. 

«You were out for most of it» Remus says in a kind voice. «We were worried.»

Sirius lets an easy smile stretch his lips as he shrugs - there are only the four of them in the room. «Lack of sleep - I’m not sleeping well» he knows James and Remus can see past his poor attempt to hide what he actually feels, but he can’t help it. «I’m sure I’ll be feeling better tomorrow.»

James hugs him, carding one of his hands in Sirius’ hair while the other caresses his back. «You can talk to me» he whispers carefully. «Do you know it?»

Sirius nods and feels his eyes burn with tears. He closes his eyes and keeps his eyelid shut, as Lily joins the hug. It’s worse, he thinks, it’s  way worse with his eyes closed. Sirius can see Regulus’ lost face as he runs away from home, he can still hear the pleadings to stay with him hidden in his gaze - he has felt a lot of things about his little brother in the years, most of all, right now, he feels guilty.

James’ hold on him becomes stronger and only now Sirius realises he is shaking, his body is trembling and his throat is full of broken sobs. Every tear that falls on his cheeks is unexpected, just like the pain he feels.

Sirius didn’t expect to cry for Regulus’ death - he didn’t expect to feel the loss of him mixed with the pain of having lost his little brother the day he had decided to run away from home. 

Regulus is dead and, as he cries for him in his other brother’s arm,  Sirius knows he can’t ever tell him how sorry he is anymore.