#reestablished

[lemonlimestar]

(wip) drawing is actually my weakness and i amgoing to explode forever.goodbye

[justaz]

merthur reincarnation au, merlin is constantly roaming the earth and running into various reincarnations of arthur’s soul. neither know but there is always this draw between them. they’ve met in many different lives with many different dynamics. when do they realize/remember? when arthur’s body is mortally wounded.

in one life they met on the battlefield, leaders of the opposing armies. they often ended up fighting each other and they grew to respect the others tactics and plans. despite being enemies, the level of shared respect grew to an odd fondness. merlin’s rival in his own army grew tired of watching merlin dance with the enemies leader and decided to step in and put an end to it. they attacked arthur from behind and left him for dead. merlin, who saw the whole thing but was too far away to do anything about it, rushed over to be by arthur’s side as he died. arthur took off his helm then and merlin was faced with a man who looked eerily similar to the man who had died just a couple of centuries ago. arthur’s memories began to rush back and he bled out and merlin Knew when arthur stared up at him the same way he had the first time he died. merlin was unable to save him then too.

in another life, merlin had taken to simply roaming, no settling down and no roots. he was homeless and napping on a bench outside a cafe. a woman came out with a bag of perfectly fine baked goods that she was supposed to throw out (dictated by corporate) and she instead brought them over to merlin and set them down by him. merlin woke at the sound of the crinkling bag and met her gaze. it became routine after they closed, she would bring merlin the goods from the day. merlin eventually began to come in and sit at the tables inside every once in a while and talk with her when it was slow. one night, merlin was late to his bench and when he got there the lights were still on and the door was unlocked but he couldn’t see the nice girl who always gave him food. he shuffled in and found her bleeding out from gunshots behind the counter where the cash register had been emptied out. merlin was there for her final breaths and she joked how he could definitely do better than living on the streets. merlin realized who she was as the light left her eyes.

in another life, they were corporate rivals. another they were best friends for five years. another they were pirates and merlin ended up delivering the final blow. another they explored the stars together. etc, etc.

merlin losing him again and again after just finding him. arthur remembering everything right before he dies. a horrible cycle that seems never ending. merlin is forced to live thru the deception arthur suffered over and over again - finding out just who he has known for years is someone else entirely but not having the time to revel in it. arthur suffers the other end of their twisted dynamic of never being able to express his true self until the end wherein death is imminent. the cycle continues for millennia.

eventually, like all things, humans destroy what they had whether it be nuclear war or climate change or what have you, the earth reclaims itself and sends humankind back into their caves. everything there once was is gone and now left with nothing, humans return to their roots. magic flourishes and spreads as new civilizations begin to establish themselves. merlin, oddly enough, hasn’t run into an arthur reincarnation in centuries. not until he ventures into a village and finds a young man toiling in the fields. he dons a face merlin hasn’t seen in millennia. when he looks up and catches merlin’s eye, he smiles wide and calls out for him.

he remembers

[divorcedwife]

wanted to try designing humbler, simpler clothes for emelin pre-all game events, before she met the other badguys and got that cult money

[asmodeauxx]

oc redesign planning stuff

[wheatwhip]

mlp infected au but it takes more after the last of us where we're really far in the future and the protagonist is a grown up flurry heart

[higuchisora]

Tianlang-Jun not getting sealed under a mountain and having his happy ever after with Su Xiyan would've been insufferable tbh. Binghe would be the least of everyone's worries because there's no way those two freaks wouldn't have had the same amount of kids Bingge did but with JUST EACH OTHER. They'd have to seal TLJ under a mountain anyway because him and SXY were having too much sex and singlehandedly overpopulating the world with overpowered half heavenly demon human cultivator tyrants.

And then they'd have to seal SXY under a mountain too because there's no way she'd have let that shit slide. Fully convinced that the only reason MXTX made her carry LBH was because there's no way OPM's plan would've succeeded otherwise.

[thepajamamen]

Ik u haven't watched DR yet, but I also know (from the brief convos we've had ab it) that ur interested in Wyldfyre, so I think u should draw her and Kai drinking Monster energy drinks.

I know you asked for something more specific and I did start with that but then I realized I never solidified my Wyldfyre design for The Rewrite and it turned into just her

[morninkim]

"Years of fighting. Bots and Cons falling left and right. Dying on our behalf. No more. We settle this now, Megatron." "Just the two of us then? To the death? Ahh, brings me back to the pits all those centuries ago. Very well then, today will be the day the great Optimus Prime finally falls by my hand." "Only one of us is walking away from this rock functional, old friend. It will not be you."

~ Audio from Optimus Prime's remains at the sight of his final confrontation with Megatron that ended the Great War. circa 2003.

Audio encoded by Soundwave, Memory bank recovered by Ratchet

[chirpsythismorning]

[kirby-the-gorb]

[bobdylansgf]

balkan girls on tumblr.com gotta stick together

[doortotomorrow]

RAVEN REYES - The 100: 1x02

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[bo-katan]

those of us that have read the Thrawn novels, seeing them make him supposedly so dedicated to the Empire and its cause:

[bettertwin1]

I really need to redo my intro post thinking abt it