#reduced physical pain
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What Happens to Your Body When You Meditate Every Day?
I’ve been practicing meditation regularly for quite some time now, and I can confidently say it has transformed both my mind and body in ways I never anticipated. If you’re curious about what happens to your body when you meditate consistently, you’re in the right place. Let me walk you through the changes you can expect—both physical and mental—when you make meditation part of your daily…
#anxiety#boost creativity#depression#emotional stability#focus and concentration#immune system#improved memory#insomnia#lifestyle#lower blood pressure#lowered anxiety level#meditation#mental health#mental health awareness#mental health matters#reduced physical pain#self-awareness#sleep quality#stress#stress levels#stress management#stress relief#stronger immunity#yoga#yoga lifestyle
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ever since i got into bloodborne i've been wanting to make my faves into bloodborne inspired beasties. from madoka magica. to final fantasy. to eva. and it sort of makes me rethink body horror from person to beast.
the dog lady's transformation changed my brain chemistry alright
#seeing vicar amelia contort painfully into her new body with blood splattering and bones crunching was such a revolutionary thing to me#when i see transformations from person to beast it's gruesome to look at but the contortion....god#transformations look cool and that's cool but what abt for the person going thru it#the transition of human to beast is terrifying on virtue of different anatomies#your back will be fucked up#you'll be reduced to an existence of eternal physical and existential pain
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going to blatantly ignore fanon ship dynamics. naegami sex defined by physically fighting each other as a precursor and togiri sex defined by meticulous knifeplay
#it's 1 am. im on nasty brain#will probably delete later idk#i ahve a whole idea in my head that i've concocted about. byakuya being the 'bloodiest victor of the togami heir in generations'#not bc he's particularly good at fighting but bc he lowkey enjoys pain#and then fast forward ff!era togiri. venting steam with intricate rituals involving knives and wounds. while also fucking nasty#naegami sex defined by byakuya's initial antagonism and one day makoto snaps and just start duking it out#they come away from it like. why did i enjoy that??#byakuya: i cant believe i reduced myself to physical violence like some kind of ANIMAL. what is wrong with me#makoto: google i fought the guy who keeps pissing me off and got hard do i like men. google am i gay quiz buzzfeed. google bdsmtest
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oh boy, the next couple months are going to be rough
#i experimented earlier with trying to sing while holding the position that forces my throat not to collapse#and i was able to#but since then I've been like borderline incapacitated with neck pain ndndjsn#and i didn't think to record it to like check for strain etc and get more feedback on if that's a good thing to do or not#so i kinda have to do it again#but i expect all of the physical therapy to end up this way where every compensation i reduce just turns into pain#with any luck though i suppose extreme suffering may make her want to move my surgery date sooner
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Jesus fucking christ I just had my clearest experience yet of Google being unusable garbage
Trying to look into something and literally all the links I get are very very basic "Hey this exists!" or trying to sell me something. Adding reddit to the end of the search absolutly did help but not even that can save me (provide me with step by step instructions)
#trying to look into massage techniques#specifically spine pain ideally scoliosis#obviously#but everything is like. medical blog posts that yes you *can* use massage to reduce pain! isnt that wild#or some rando specialty clinic thats just offering therapy services#like. i get that physical therapy is a thing people study to make a living off of but jfc i should be able to learn a thing without#paying out my ass for it#and yeah all reddit really did was give me a few bits of jargon#which is appreciated but hasnt turned up anything useful yet#fucking google is abelist bc it impedes my autistic desire to Research
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how are people scared of bats :(
#theres a lot of misinformation about bats and it makes me sad :(#like did you guys know that despite bats being known for having rabies only 0.5% of bats actually do#and bats dont bite...not even vampire bats do#tho it is more reasonable to be afraid of vampire bats as the rabies rate is 10% and they do drink blood#but they only live in central and south america and mainly go after cows#and when bats swoop down at you theyre actually just eating the bugs that are trying to bite you#bats are actually really good for the environment too#if there werent any bats a lot of really good fruit wouldnt be able to grow#no bats? no mango banana guava avovados or tequila#and reduced amount of rice citrus strawberries coffee chocolate and cotton#people also study bats' echolocation to find new innovative ways to help blind people#and bats arent affected by many deadly diseases and they have a very low risk of cancer and their dna is similar to humans#this means that bats could possibly be the key to curing cancer as well as slowing down the progression of aging#and by that i mean that it could delay the symptoms of getting older#such as aches and pains memory issues risk of certain diseases and physical changes#idrc about changes in appearance that much but its interesting#anyways
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love to take my trazodone at 11 & then still be up at 2am when I have to work at 6 like knowing how exhausted I’m going to be tomorrow is just making it harder to fall asleep because now I’m anxious about how much tomorrow will suck And it’s too late to take more trazodone
#listened to most of a guided sleep meditation video & could not physically relax the entire time#pain + stupid anxious about work/finances because I think I need to tell my boss that I need to reduce my hours or go on an LOA for a month#or I’m going to have to quit#like I am never going to get out of this cycle of pain & stress & sleep deprivation if I don’t have more time to recoup
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does anyone else get an actual physical urge to run away from pain
#like i keep wanting to get up and just. move#not in a “physical movement can help reduce certain kinds of pain” sort of way#but in a “Get Away From Me” sorta way#as if i wldnt be in even MORE pain if i was standing/moving#its so weird#bodies are so weird
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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#having one of those nights where I’m so desperate to be out of here that I’m searching prices for plots or land and yurts#why do rent and house prices have to be so high 🥲#like get me the fuck out of here holy shit#I cannot believe that like just a few years ago me and my dad were fine and not I can’t fucking stand being around him#I found out recently he’s been bemoaning never getting to be a grandfather again and I’m like#gee I’m sorry that I have a major medical condition that makes me horrifically ill and all you can focus on is that it makes me infertile#news flash! even if I didn’t have this I never wanted kids anyways!!!#and I can’t get that fact through his head#despite me always very loudly voicing that I didn’t want kids from a young age he’s co Vince’s this is a recent thing#fucking wild man way to show that you never paid attention to what I’ve ever said#also shoutout to never paying attention to how fucking sick I’ve ever been either#but you know you’re the real victim in this situation#I swear to fuck I am getting closer and closer to going no contact when we finally leave#I am for sure going limited contact but like#literally doesn’t care about the suffering I’ve been through in the past 22 years#I am once again reduced to only being a fucking uterus#it’s so fun dealing with the physical pain from said problem the emotional pain of him being an asshat and the dysphoria#I think he thinks the nonbinary thing is just a phase 🫠#I am very much in fml territory tonight#wish it wasn’t a work night I need a fucking drink#I wanna fucking scream and cry and leave and just never come back
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i love having pain free days it’s such a crazy difference in how much energy i have i cooked dinner finally cleaned up all my dishes etc etc
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fun sunday afternoon plans my dbt workbook arrived + I have a lecture on adhd + seasonal affective disorder to watch that I signed up for a while ago. maybe either of those will tell me how to survive this winter without killing myself 👍
#its the same dbt book ive used before but i only had a pdf before.. its much easier to navigate/use a physical copy#some of the techniques did help me to reduce bad coping mechanisms significantly last yr. so worth giving it another shot#i dont rly respond well to therapy unless its self administered bc i cant talk to ppl abt my problems + dont trust what they say anyway#its just easier independently in a written format. theyre my issues i got myself into this shit so i can get myself out of it. or not#wish i could at least exercise today but i think it is a chest infection im coming down with. so im not sure i physically can#its painful enough breathing as is. making some lemon honey ginger tea tho so hopefully thatll help#man. the fucking Misery. i hope i make it through this one. sooner rather than later preferably 👍#.vent#.diaries#i have a book on bpd as well. i dont think i have bpd myself but some of the interpersonal issues ppl w bpd have are similar to those-#i experience so just curious whether itll have any useful advice for managing emotional instability/insecurity in relationships
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Really frustrated with my lack of weight loss despite me being very careful to regulate my diet and regularily work out, not because I care about my appearence but bc the weight genuinely has an effect on my physical health (more fat = more estrogen = more endometriosis symptoms), except that the entire reason I need to lose weight to begin with is a health issue that causes rapid weight gain and makes it hard to drop so like. :^)
#surprisingly i feel more gender-positive when I'm fatter#and im proud that i'm built to be sturdy#but also like. not to be tmi but i am bleeding literally everyday. nonstop#im not shitting you this has been nonstop for several weeks and the shots arent helping anymore#so that means reducing weight to negate the blood going to the defunct uterus#but hormones wont let me fucking drop weight so [screams]#and on top of it. i dont want to go on t until i get this shit clarified to be under control for side effects so#[SCREAMS]#also i am in constant physical pain lets not forget#sorry for venting but im frustrated!!!#i want!!! results!!!!
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cold as shit & freezing my ass off in this winter (But at least we made it to December.)
#dadbots.txt#starting the new month off with a sore throat & body aches due to household cold-like symptoms. Thanks. Even when I was trying 2 avoid it#and with how cold it is — permanently staying In bed forever. Like it’s physically making me curl into a crab rn oh my god it’s so cold#Which is both hell and good in both ways. Bad since I stay in bed too much anyway. Almost everyday.#Especially with chronic low energy and 24/7 fatigued. Mentally and physically. And i really gotta do better -#- and reduce that since that adds up alongside other unhealthy habits. And I can literally feel it taking a toll on me unfortunately.#But also good since I’ll be resting more often than not. It’s not something i do and so having the opportunity to rest is kinda nice?#Still. Two sides of a coin right now. And this cold is definitely not helping me or the fact it’s easier to get sick 10x more.#Back to pain relievers and heat ig.#Although with this just. Might be a cold but also not? Thing? Since not all of my sore throats are colds but overproduced mucus. Gross.#But been drinking tea like habitually to knock this out and warm blankets and stuff. Feeling better as of typing this. So thank god it’s wo#This month been… interesting to say the least. A lot of personal talk and changes that should’ve happened years ago.#But hey. You live and learn.#And I’m not mad at it. I’m making progress when I would’ve shrugged and say it’d never happen. Now it’s happening and even I’m surprised#Doesn’t mean it’ll completely override everything in my life or push stuff to the side. Though it’s better than nothing so I’ll take it.#Winter is always hard for a lot of people and I’ve been hit with it as well. Even near the holidays and all.#Been rough. And the constant realization that each month I don’t remember…. Anything. That has happened.#But also that I did a little more than previously and slowly pushing it each month. Little by little.#There’s been a drastic change from last year to now. Went through new lifestyles and experiences. Exploring different fields. Etc#So it’s been one hell of a ride anyway. And that I can sit back and be content with. Even if nothing else is currently going on yknow#December probably gonna be slow. But we’ll see. Hope to bring new opportunities fortune and possibilities along the way. Take care y’all
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people handle grief differently & all but i really just do not get having your dead pet taxidermied
"oh but it makes me feel like they're still around" uh. it's not moving. it's staring blankly. it doesn't make noises. it's cold and stiff. doesn't that just -remind- you that they're not around anymore ?
#idk it'd just make me feel worse about it#+ how are you supposed to move on when the literal corpse is in your house#like it'd be fucking weird to do that to family members like imagine having your grandma taxidermied#would you still go Ah grandma is still around <3 or would you be like oh god grandma's fucking staring at me with lifeless eyes#like having your pet around isn't just their physical presence in your environment#it's getting to play with them. having them jump on you. bark and meow at you. them randomly popping up next to you to give affection#how is it not painful to just watch them sit there frozen like they're a god damn vase ?#to remember the life they once had within themselves and see them reduced to just an unmoving block of fur ?
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