#rednightmarefics

[brujahinaskirt]

"my video game takes are rooted in text and supported by canon," i say, desperately trying to convince you that charlotte balfour killed a man

anyway

OUR WORST CREATURES Chapter 9: A Cat in Tall Grass

Arlotte. Crime Drama, Horror. Recommended 18+

“Tell the damn story, then, if you’re so dead set on it. Ain’t a complicated question: Would you have shacked up with the man ’f you knew he was a bloodsucking bank robber or not?” “You don’t think I’m dodging the question to spare your feelings, do you? The story is that—really—I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t know who I am anymore.” Slicing the last carrot, she lifts the knife to give it a whimsical stir. “It bears asking: Do any of us really know who we are at any one point of our lives?” “Do not recite Aristotle at me, lady.” “That you think my secondhand bullshit is Aristotle is very funny. All I have today is my own bullshit. And hindsight, which is the same thing.” He rolls his eyes—she can feel it—but doesn’t snap back with anything else, which can only mean he is waiting for her to stop pussyfooting around and continue the tale. But this question hanging between them feels a little less suffocating now, which means the friendship, dinged and hobnailed as it is, has done its job. “Hindsight thinks I would have run for high ground… or at least away from Missouri. I hope that’s the person I was,” Charlotte decides. She pinches her blade in between the folds of her old skirt and fleeces away orange blood. “Or I might have let him talk me into it, to hell with it all. But I will say this, if you’ll endure my honesty: I understand your belle’s predicament.” Arthur grunts thoughtfully, like a dog deciding how to tackle a cumbersome bone. “Me, too. Maybe better to break your heart the way yours broke. At least you know somebody really cared for you in the first place.” “I—I suppose so,” Charlotte says. She grips the steel in her fingers, stilling it through the cloth. It is clean now. The stain has transferred to her dirty clothes.

Here's the rest.

[brujahinaskirt]

charlotte balfour is just chilling in the most remote point of the map with a white moose and two cougars and one dead husband living in her backyard, just "oh woe is me i'm in the middle of the haunted woods biome being submissive and robbable with my bazillion big titty banker bucks and huge naturals" and you're telling me i'm not supposed to think she's fucking up to something

anyway new criminal charlotte fic chapter. it's on ao3

[brujahinaskirt]

New chapter of my Our Worst Creatures (aka the Dark Charlotte fic) is up on Ao3! Link in the notes to keep tumblr from eating it.

She has never done anything wrong in her life except for maybe mugging Arthur Morgan at gunpoint being too pure for this world

“You know what?” A sort of madness sweeps into her skull. Charlotte jabs the gun forward, a finger point in metal and lead. “Empty your pockets.” The look Arthur Morgan fixes upon her is not really what you would expect of a man being stuck up with a firearm. Skepticism, irritation—and, mostly, ironic dismay. “Please,” he sneers, contemptuously. His upper lip curls as if she’s just told him an incredibly petty joke. “Do I look like I’m kidding?” “Missus Balf—” She hefts the rifle to peer down the sight. The unsaid half of her name falls off his tongue and plops onto his feet. And so do the coins from his jean pockets.

[brujahinaskirt]

so i was in the process of writing this jousting fic where one character gets bonked on the head and the other character is stuck in limbo wondering if the love of his life will ever recover and if his own life was summarily just ruined in an instant and how he can possibly survive having his life obliterated at its seams all over again just because of a few stupid measly minutes

and then last spring the love of my life who has been my best friend since i was a child had a sudden onset aphasiac migraine (something neither of us knew existed) and after about 10 minutes of excruciating pain forgot how to talk and i waited alone at his ICU bedside sleeplessly 24/7 for days doing fun activities like holding up little picture flashcards to try and help him through a whole sentence and praying my atheist ass off that it wasn't a stroke and wondering if he would be able to talk again, or if we'd ever get to to home together, or if the blood clot-busting medicine the ER doctor made me decide whether or not to give him would indeed save his speech and/or life (or if it might have a rare adverse affect as they warned me about and make it much worse), or if my whole life was going to be obliterated

good news! he was fine but i'm still not okay about it at all and i don't when i will be able to pick that fic up again

[brujahinaskirt]

this fic (that was supposed to be 5 chapters max and has now spiraled deeply out of hand into a heist-adventure-horror longfic) spawned because of a FRICKING 2-second combat-AI oversight reaction, i.e. if you aim a gun at Charlotte prior to her "teehee gee mister i simply don't know how to shoot a gun i'm sooo silly" mission she will pull a revolver out of her blouse and immediately, competently open fire

me, stupid:

oh my god...... evbidemsce

i am going to write a charlotte balfour that is so [clenches fist] completely unsupported by canon

[brujahinaskirt]

The Princess-Boy - rednightmare - Chapter 3

He doesn’t want to ask Uncle Arthur for a candy. Not because he thinks Uncle Arthur would say no, but because it sits terrible in his stomach that Daddy isn’t here to buy him sweets and clothes instead. Little Jack gets the feeling Uncle Arthur isn’t supposed to be giving Mama money for new shoes or cough syrup or chocolate or anything. He has a funny hunch that nobody would like it very much if they knew.

But he can’t tell Uncle Arthur so. It might hurt his feelings.

“Uncle Arthur,” Little Jack asks instead. With his head still resting in Uncle Arthur's lap, he turns his face up to be polite, squinting when one of Uncle Arthur’s cracked fingers accidentally slips onto his eyelid and nearly gives him a poke. “Are we poor?”

Uncle Arthur seems a mite thrown. He lifts his palm from Little Jack’s brow and uncrosses his ankles and sits up straighter. “Shore,” he admits. “Sometimes.”

“A lot of times?"

“Just some of ’em. Everybody’s poor sometimes—except rich bastards who ought to have their heads bashed in.”

“Like Leviticus Cornwall?”

This, too, surprises Uncle Arthur. “Now who in the hell told you that?” he demands, frowning down at him. It’s not very scary (not when he can see up Uncle Arthur’s nose), so Little Jack sits up.

“Nobody. Pawpaw and Grandpop are always fighting about him. Did they do something bad?” he guesses. There are woolly black bees buzzing about the floppy vine flowers, and it makes Little Jack squirm in his seat, but he knows Uncle Arthur won’t let him get stung. He tries to focus on remembering things instead. “Grandpop said, ‘Leviticus Cornwall is the kind of trouble you and I can’t afford.’ Is that why we’re poor? Did we buy Leviticus Cornwall’s trouble?”

“Honey, you don’t need to know jack shit about Leviticus Goddamned Cornwall. Just forget it. Don’t say that name to nobody else. Okay?”

“Okay, Uncle Arthur.”

“I mean it, now.”

“Yes, sir.”

Uncle Arthur looks irritable. He breathes out hard through his nose, like he wants to give somebody a piece of his mind, but there’s nobody except Little Jack to give it to.

ao3 link to the rest is in the replies! (I can't get ao3 to generate an automatic tumblr share for the life of me today...)

[brujahinaskirt]

rank your fics

PROMPT: Rank your own fics from best to worst. Reasons optional. Don't be too hard on yourselves; appreciate how far you've come! (Bonus challenge: Find some good things to say about the fics you don't like anymore.)

Tag some other writers when you're done! Tagging @mangocats, @jawanaka, @plummeting-plum, @weterali, @mourningafterdark, @maranzalla, @angels-heap, and anyone who wants to do it! (If you do it, tag me so I can read yours!)

A Strange Hunt (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

This is my best fanfic. I’m proud of most of the lines even 3+ years later, and I love how the individual chapters resonate/communicate with each other. There are certain lines I would have written differently now and some mistakes I should have caught during the first drafting, but I think it has a ton of heart. I love it a lot and I’m happy I wrote it, mistakes and all.

2. Lost in the Trees (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

This one wrote itself, and did so pretty fucking well if I’m any judge of my own work. It was supposed to be a quick 8k max piece and it wound up at 22k—and I’m actually glad about that for once. I planned out the vignettes and their parallels extensively and it paid off. Writing-wise, it's flowery emotional imagery built with plainclothes language; I think it “sounds” like Henry’s soul (at least as I depict him), and I believe it brings out the best of my strengths. This is the one I revisit when I feel like shit about my writing.

3. Instead of Stars (Half-Life)

A structurally complicated and sometimes too-dense behemoth, as was its predecessor, but one that I feel honors my roots while showcasing how much I’ve improved in a decade. Feels kind of like a “hey, kid, I didn’t forget you” love letter to the young writer I used to be ten years ago. And given that the central character is also older and more mature, that feels… idk! Appropriate. Nice. We grew up.

4. Fortune Favors the Bold (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

Probably contains the lines I am proudest of across all my fics. There’s huge range in this story. But right now… it’s sloppy and there’s just too much of it, and the best chapters haven't been uploaded yet. Will definitely need a stern editorial beating when it's done.

5. With Horn and Leash (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

A clean-faced and inoffensive child. Not a particularly ambitious fic, but serviceable and satisfying enough in its conclusions, I think. The writing is newer and fresher than the below entries. Doesn’t live up to its admittedly killer title which I was smug about for a solid week.

6. In Spring (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

It’s okay. Too maudlin in parts, too sparse in others, but I do still enjoy the symbolism. I'd say I’ve nailed POV character’s speaking style and I think a lot of these lines could pass for game dialogue.

Also: I adore writing Hans. He is such a beloved mean little cunt.

7. Without Home (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

This piece always felt to me like it could have done more.

8. Half Full (Thief: Deadly Shadows)

My favorite of my Thief works. Its strength is its dialogue, which still holds up for me.

9. The Jackal (Thief: The Metal Age)

Dusty but I think I really had my finger on Viktoria's pulse here.

10. In Caes of Disastur (Kingdom Come: Deliverance)

Truthfully, I like this little bugger quite a lot. But it’s too short and silly to rank any higher.

11. Black Coffee (Half-Life)

Old, but I feel great affection for it. I put a lot of myself in my depiction of Barney Calhoun, intentionally and unintentionally—in part to fill blank spots in Valve’s writing, but also because… well, I felt a bit like Barney back when I wrote the original. I was just entering college, I had a thick country accent, I desperately wanted to be more grown-up than I was, and I felt like everyone else thought I was the dumbest no-interiority shit-for-brains redneck on campus. Sorry for giving you so much of my teenage trauma, Barney, damn.

12. The Princess-Boy (Red Dead Redemption 2)

So far so good, but it’s too new for me to rank higher (or lower).

13. Words Unanswered (Tolkien)

This one’s just too old. It was written in large part to match a dear friend’s stylistic tastes, not necessarily my own. I’m no longer proud of the writing, which makes it difficult to work on. Many of the early chapters now strike me as flat and kind of babyish. I’m not outright embarrassed of it yet, but I know I’ve come a long way since I started, and I’m ready to lay this one to rest.

14. Desert of Ghosts (Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines)

L o r d.

(I still love-hate my Ms. Woeburne, who is The Worst.)

15. Regaining Balance (Thief: The Dark Project)

Now in relic territory, but I don’t hate it! I feel fondness for it, even if I no longer think it's well-written.

16. Haggling Freedom (Dragon Age)

Frankly stupid, but some of the descriptions still slap.

17. Running on Faith (The Walking Dead)

Not good, but not in truly awful territory yet. Some genuinely cute sentiments and images.

18. Killing Snakes (Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines)

Getting into profound oof territory here. This is ancient, so I don’t feel too terrible that it’s terrible, but I am kind of relieved canon materials have since been released that render my take completely invalid.

19. You Do Not See (Tolkien)

Kind of boring, but at least it’s short.

20. You Do Not Know (Tolkien)

Boring as hell and too long for what it does.

21. You Do Not Hear (Tolkien)

Boring as fuck.

22. On White Shores (Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines)

Kill me.

[brujahinaskirt]

WIP Title Ask Game

OK, @jawanaka! Jesus... there's too much in here.

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Humble Medicine

Fortune Favors the Bold_A Dozen Tiny Favors

fortune favors the bold MASTERFILE

96 W EXECUTION ESCAPE

Words Unanswered_18

i am halfway dead

What Isn't Under It

Flunking Out

Finswimming

TITLE ZENOBIA

HUNTING BOY 1 - THE BLACK EYE SUSAN GOT

The Guts That Live EXPANDED VERSION TO BE MERGED

TBR 2022

CROWS 2022

BAC 2022

I tag @frog-on-leaf, @horzkasvk, @maranzalla, @boghermit, @thefungler, @ruinxruin, @pixelhorses, @weterali and anyone else who wants to do it (tag me if you do so I can see!)

[brujahinaskirt]

Rating: Teen Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Bianca/Theresa Additional Tags: Animal Death, Hunters & Hunting, Grief/Mourning, Character Study, Revenge Summary: It wasn't supposed to be her.

Theresa cannot get the revenge she seeks, so she settles an old score instead. One-shot. Excerpt

As she holds her sweetheart close, petting her hair and kissing her ears, she spots it. A shock of white feathers is perched in the great linden tree at the top of Castle Hill. It sits there, a colossus of a bird, as if watching them, its legs pink with dog blood and its wicked soul too stupid for sin.

“There, there,” Theresa shushes into the sunburnt scalp at the top of Bianca’s head, squeezing her closer and closer, as if to push the sadness out of her body and into the light of the spring sun. “Rest now. There’s nothing more for you to do.”

She does not mention the white bird, watching. From the ground, she watches back.

You’ll die for this, Theresa promises, wordlessly. She hopes, somehow, it knows.

[brujahinaskirt]

Fandom: Kingdom Come: Deliverance Rating: Teen Relationships: Klara & Zdena Other Characters: Hans Capon, Henry, Hermann, Peshek, Theresa, Hanush of Leipa, Radzig Kobyla, Adam, Elishka Additional Tags: Medieval Medicine, Healing, Trauma, Sisterhood, Witchcraft

Summary:

Rattay is very sick, of course, but Zdena knows the cure. One-shot.

Excerpt:

She calls them curatives. Little bottles of peppercorn attar, jars of minty ointment, sour cherry balms. If she called them potions, these good Christians would collect her business tax in fire.

 A chopped hollowleek.

 Red nettles, dry.

 One jug egg whites in old wine.

Please understand. She does not say these things to groan and whine and beat her fists into the ground, to throw dust over her head and cry about how the world is so unfair. But the world is indeed unfair, and Zdena sees no reason to get dusty about it. She is quite happy to call her art by any old name.

Mending the blood. Killing disease. Growing and burning what sprouts in the body in equal halves—medicine.

[brujahinaskirt]

96 w Execution escape? :3c

goddamn giant vtmb fic. goddamn protagonist rapidly-falling-from-patron's-grace camarilla shill woeburne gets put in a hit car and has to escape before she gets taken out at the destination. it's very dramatic and there's all kinds of bullets and crashing and there's a shark in it too. what else could it be with this woman.

[brujahinaskirt]

I am halfway dead for the ask meme!

@maranzalla messaged about this one too! and @mangocats but you already know most of this stuff so... at least I distracted you from work for a few minutes??? This is an assorted chunks doc of an original work, historical fiction! I was too lazy to stick it in the appropriate place in my novel masterfile so I now have a bunch of scenes floating around in this extra document. I try not to post anything I hope I might one day release professionally so I won't snippet, but it's a historical fiction piece set in Kievan Rus' at the onset of the Mongol conquest, following the sort of gritty-mystery-meets-found-family-adventures of a peasant woman born with a severe facial deformity. I really like this novel though I think it might be doomed commercially. I guess we'll see!

[brujahinaskirt]

First Line Meme

Thanks for the tag @jawanaka! I tag @megendary, @maranzalla, @mangocats and @weterali

List the first lines of your last 20 stories. See if there are any patterns and choose your favorite opening line!

ONCE UPON A TIME in a majestic green valley out West, there lived a princess and her boy. But this princess was not like most princesses, and her boy was not like most boys. He didn’t have to go to school or shovel shit on a farmstead or make bottlecaps in a factory, because the princess and her boy were free.

THE PRINCESS-BOY (Chapter One – The Kingdom in the Valley) / Red Dead Redemption 2

One day, the black water came, and no one was ready. The kingdom in the valley had to run for their lives.

THE PRINCESS-BOY (Chapter Two: The Blackest of Water, the Most Terrible Men) / [Not yet published.] / Red Dead Redemption 2

She calls them curatives. Little bottles of peppercorn attar, jars of minty ointment, sour cherry balms. If she called them potions, these good Christians would collect her business tax in fire.

HUMBLE MEDICINE / [Not yet published.] / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Be careful, Henry, Theresa tells him. She tells him all the time.

WITH HORN AND LEASH / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

If you should ever get it into your head to become a fine lady, know now that a wise girl should really first consider the following list: MASTER BUTCHER ZBISLAV’S SHORTLIST OF UNFINE THINGS THAT FINE LADIES CANNOT DO.

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD (Chapter Three: A Dozen Tiny Favors) / [Not yet published.] / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

In regards to his personal affectation as it pertains to the dwarven monarchy, and indeed one monarch in particular, Master Baggins has not been entirely, shall we say, forthcoming.

WORDS UNANSWERED (Chapter 17) / Tolkien

IN THE NAME OF GOD AMEN, and in the very unhappy event of my awfuyl death by sword, sickness, falling, cryshing, drowning, goring, lyghtnyng-striking, kattle-stampeding, choking on my supper, or other kalamity unforseen, I—HENRY, born of SKALITZ, Infantryman of the Rattay garrison—make my will in this way.

IN CAES OF DISASTUR / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

God save him: Henry was learning how to write.

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD (Chapter One: Among Friends) / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

The first letter anyone had ever sent him went: Dear Henry, it is my regret that I have not yet told you how sorry I am over the death of your father.

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD (Chapter Two: The Most Important Things) / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

In her dreams, sometimes, she dances.

A LONG TIME FOR DANCING / [Not yet published.] / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

For the first time in twenty-two years, you dream.

INSTEAD OF STARS / Half-Life

The Sasau Monastery is the loneliest place in the whole world, he thinks. He would rather be lost deep in a dark wood.

LOST IN THE TREES / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

The horses are prettiest when the day’s work is over, and they are let free.

WITHOUT HOME / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

In springtime, the forest flowers with bones.

IN SPRING / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

There is honey in the linden tree, but Theresa has always had a sharper taste for fruit.

A STRANGE HUNT (Chapter One: The Hound) / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

When he is small, he drinks a grail of holy water. He pulls it from the altar behind the baptismal priest’s back and he swallows it down.

A STRANGE HUNT (Chapter Two: The Stag) / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Henry wakes up in Skalitz.

A STRANGE HUNT (Chapter Three: The Lion) / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

If you happen, at some point in your life, to leave Lonely Erebor through the Lion Door, you will see it. There isn’t much to see. It is just a darkness, rocky with coal, that rises like crumbled gravestone from all this grass gold. Ravenhill.

WORDS UNANSWERED (Chapter 16) / Tolkien

Here's a story for you: In the City of Angels, a rich white man is born grown. Blue-eyed and blond-headed, he comes into second life—a sharpening of his first life, if you please. A new, better, sleeker life, one with all the baby fat scraped off.

DESERT OF GHOSTS (Chapter One) / Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines

The time has come for one last note about hobbits, I suppose. Not all hobbits—but one hobbit in particular. The hobbit, if you must.

WORDS UNANSWERED (Chapter 18) / [Not yet published.] / Tolkien

Patterns: I'm a devotee of hooking in 1-3 lines, so I like really jangly voicey first lines that get a reader's boots on the ground of a scene/setting by zooming in on a concrete image, object, or action. Short and punchy with some exceptions for rambly narrators where I need to establish deep POV quickly, such as unreliable narrators or story-within-a-story (or that one second-person Half-Life fic which is really just a canon-character study in disguise). Most of these lines are bold claims by a POV character where I then proceed to break those claims down, but a few are more neutral observations about place instead. Only with Tolkien do I veer into straight-up character musings where the narrator is obvious and meant to be noticed more so than the image. Often times I try to build in an overt reference to the title, but one with extra significant that will only become clear after reading the whole fic... but I don't always manage.

Favorite: I still really like the first chapter of Desert of Ghosts in general. I think it captures anger and character voice really well without being too in-your-face about either at the start, and it was fun to see people go: "Ah okay, so your OC ripped off Nines Rod--OHHHH NVM IT IS HIM"

[brujahinaskirt]

Ooohh can we talk about Humble Medicine and Words unanswered?

Humble Medicine is a short Kingdom Come: Deliverance minor-character one-shot about Zdena highkey being a contraceptive & abortion provider. It's really fun to write!

Young Klara is her best customer. Young, pretty Klara, who is too wild to marry and too pretty to whore. She trots by Zdena at her cellar cookpot every few weeks with the consistency of a monk— her hair golder and finer, her eyes not as dark a brown—to ask for curatives. A tonic for this or a salve for that. She refills her little blue glass bottle and gives her sister in whoredom a kiss on the cheek.

For Klara, month and month, over and over:

One thousand black ants, soaked live in a bowl of white poppies. Burn in the sun for a week, then drain through a fine sieve, adding the juice of a pink apple until all that remains is a pleasant, pale liquid, with no discernible trace of the humble ant . . .

Soak into a cloth and apply well. To cleanse the female sex—and to induce menses.

Words Unanswered... I'm on the very last (and very short) epilogue chapter of a Tolkien longfic I started for my buddy literal years ago. I want it done and out of my life but I also want to do the ending right, which means waiting until I get in the Tolkien emotional headspace and not just forcing out the last 6000 words. It's fully mapped out but I haven't started rewriting.

[brujahinaskirt]

Fortune Favors the Bold - Chapter Two

Chapter Two: The Most Important Things

Fandom: Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Fic Rating: Explicit (Chapter Two Rating: Mature)

Relationships: Hans Capon/Henry, Hans Capon/Henry/Karolina, Mistress Zora/?

Other Characters: Antonia, Hanush, Black Peter, Mark, Jakub, Ginger, Wolflin von Kamberg, Ruda, Captain Bernard

Additional Tags: Comedy of Errors, Letters, Romantic Friendship, Established Relationship, Romantic Comedy, Medieval Joust, Courtly Love, Pining, Jealousy, Attachment Anxiety, Blunt Force Trauma, Whump Lite, Angst with a Happy Ending, Multiple POV

Summary: An Amorous Adventures + Capon’s Champion DLC redux romp staged during a joust and narrated via three alternating POVs: Lord Capon, Henry, and Karolina. Silly and sad in turns. (Mostly silly, though.)

Chapter Two Excerpt Below. [FULL LINK IN THE REPLIES. MEA CULPA. YOU KNOW TUMBLR.]

From His Lordship Hans Capon, Governor of Rattay

and Sir Hanush of Leipa, Steward of Rattay

for personal delivery to Sir Wolflin von Kamberg

with expectation of immediate address and response

 Dear Sir,

You may take this message as an acknowledgement of your unlawful incursion into the holdings personally enfeoffed to my family by His Divine Majesty Our King Wenceslaus IV. You may also take it as my promise as the sole inheritor of Rattay and its environs that your trespass will be met with swift and overwhelming violence.

Finally—if you are opposed to swift and overwhelming violence—you may take this message as my only offer to parley.

Please attend to your response with good haste or be, regrettably, crushed.

God be With Ye,

LORD HANS CAPON OF RATTAY

signed also by

SIR HANUSH OF LEIPA

[brujahinaskirt]

In Caes of Disastur - rednightmare

Fandom: Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Fic Rating: General

Characters: Henry

Additional Tags: Documents, Letters, Wills, Comedic

Summary: Henry does the responsible thing—just in case—and writes his will. A short, silly, supplementary document scrapped from a much longer project. Free-standing.

Excerpt Below. [FULL LINK IN THE REPLIES. TUMBLR IS AS TUMBLR DOES.]

IN THE NAME OF GOD AMEN

and in the very unhappy event of my awfuyl death by sword, sickness, falling, cryshing, drowning, goring, lyghtnyng-striking, kattle-stampeding, choking on my supper, or other kalamity unforseen,

I—HENRY, born of SKALITZ, Infantryman of the Rattay garrison—make my will in this way: