#redid both themes

[spockandawe]

And finally, the big conclusion! When I was planning to not really binderary, getting copies of these books was my big goal. And then when I did binderary after all, I, uh, ended up with two sets of two books. And let's not even talk about how late these are in the grand scheme of things, these have been in my plans for literal years, and I originally intended to get them done well before official translations started releasing (I'm doing great!!). But here they are! Thousand Autumns and Peerless! TWICE!!!!

Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. These books are long. Thousand Autumns is something like 450k, and Peerless is closer to 550k. I hate splitting cnovels. I didn't want to sand instead of trimming. I wanted to keep these books as pairs (because Peerless has my favorite danmei ship of all time, but doesn't hit as hard without the Thousand Autumns context, and EVERYTHING hits less hard without knowing that yan wushi is out there. existing.)

These goals are not terribly well aligned with the facts! The facts are that those are awfully big books to fit into a single volume, if I want to use my guillotine! This is another driving force behind my small text theme of the month. It made the typesets a goddamn nightmare, and my initial copies of the books were done on half-legal paper, which I've never done before and may never do again. I finished those, and those are... big, heavy books. Not super portable. Time to see if my eyes are good for four point georgia, and spoilers, they ARE.

Set one, the large set, I wanted to use more of my snake leather. I had this GORGEOUS purple and green and black iridescent hide that i was determined to use, and fortunately I had just enough of the perfect fabric to pair with it.

But.... meanwhile, I've been buying peacock fabrics since 2021 for the sake of Feng Xiao. I had to use at least ONE of them! Fortunately, I've hoarded enough fabric that I was able to find a nice harmonious floral fabric to cover thousand autumns, and then had a nice duo bookcloth to make spines for them both! These books are quarter-legal, and the font is genuinely SO small, but still, pleasantly readable for me, my favorite customer 😂

These books were SO MUCH work to typeset snd bind, but I'm still so excited about how both sets came out! Because of my own impatience with repeating myself like, literally two days later, i redid a number of decorative elements in the typeset as well as the binding. Different chapter headers, different dividers, totally different vibes for the endpapers! This was a big project to ask from myself in such short order, especially when I was starting to flirt with burnout, but I genuinely couldn't be happier with the results :D

[anonymousbardd]

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: The Life Created (4)

- The Third Trimester

↳ Various x FemReader

- The following characters are Gun Park, Goo Kim, Samuel Seo, Jake Kim, and Vin Jin

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: Gun Park

The last trimester was quite the challenge, Gun had already prepared your things and things for the baby in case you go into labor.

He also decorated the nursery into a sky-themed room, he added a lot of soft pillows in her crib afraid that the baby might fall.

He also put an extra bassinet in your guys' bedroom for the baby to sleep in at night.

He already bought a lot of baby toys for your little girl, and the both of you settled for the name Haneul, full name Haneul Park, English name, Heaven.

Gun also bought you a little fabric that helps you carry your heavy tummy, he also offers you a lot of back massages because he knows how hard it is to carry a baby.

Every time you're struggling he rushes home immediately, even though there's someone to take care of you at home, (A Maid he hired specifically for you).

When you went into labor, Gun thought he was prepared, but he was pretty much panicking inside.

He wasted no time to carry you to the car, the bag he packed was already there ahead of time.

He rushed you to the hospital and he was there with you the whole time.

He held your hand all the way through, not caring about the pain because it didn't hurt him.

When Heaven was born, he held you both in his arms as you cried looking at your beautiful baby girl.

Gun felt proud and accomplished that moment as he looked at the beautiful family he started.

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: Goo Kim

Much like Gun, he was already preparing ahead of time.

He also turned the nursery into a mermaid and pirate-themed room, it was beautiful.

He had so much fun browsing for cute baby stuff on the internet that it got out of hand.

There's another room dedicated to their playroom and it's filled with toys and learning stuff.

He also bought a lot of cute matching clothing for the twins.

Goo kept buying a lot of stuff online which led you to confiscate his phone to keep him from getting more things for the baby.

He also struggled with trying to install the car seat but he eventually did it after crying inside.

Y'all named the babies Yoon-Ho and Yoon-Sik, full name Kim Yoon-Ho and Kim Yoon-Sik.

Goo kept a picture of their ultrasound in his wallet.

When they were born, he cried seeing them for the first time.

He held his baby boy Yoon-Ho while you hold your baby girl Yoon-Sik.

Goo definitely schedule a family photoshoot for all of you and constantly brags about your children to everyone.

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: Samuel Seo

Samuel took you to a lot of dinner dates to have fun.

He paid for someone to take care of you while he worked with Goo.

Samuel did a lot of research to ensure your comfort and safety.

He decorated the nursery to be princess theme and got a lot of dresses and tiny little tiaras for the baby.

He also redid your guys' bedroom to make it look like a modern royal bedroom.

Samuel also reserved a hospital room and an ambulance just in case you're going into labor.

And when you did go into labor, he wasn't home, he was out running some errands.

He panicked and rushed straight home, almost getting a speeding ticket in the process.

Good thing the ambulance was there when he got home.

He was with you in the delivery room, holding your hand and reassuring you through every second.

You guys named her Gongju, full name Seo Gonju, English name Princess.

Took a lot of photos of her as a baby and framed most of them.

He would take care of her every day.

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: Jake Kim

Jake did a lot to help you throughout the whole third trimester.

He began to get a lot of cute baby clothes for the child.

He decorated the nursery with a fnaf theme.

Jake got help from Lua to prepare a go-go bag for whenever you go into labor.

He always stook around, not wanting to leave you alone.

When you went into labor, the whole big deal waited outside the delivery room.

When baby Kim U-Jin was born, the members of big deal got in one by one to drop off their gifts.

You guys received a lot of toys for the baby.

Big deal also threw a celebration party for your son's birth.

You received a lot of help with the baby and other stuff.

Everyone was giving you a lot of support.

꒰ ☕ ꒱ ┊: Vin Jin

He had a lot of help from Mary because he really didn't know what to do.

Vin slowly learned a lot of things about how to take care of a child and is putting in a lot of effort so that he can help once the baby arrives.

He made a small jungle-themed nursery and created little mixtapes and mashups from lullabies so that he could play it for your guys' future son.

Mary was the one to make VIn prepare a baby bag so that you guys would have fewer worries when you go into labor.

When you did go into labor Vin was pretty much cool, but inside he internally panicking.

When Vin Jong-Su was finally born, Vin felt his heart melt but kept a straight face and acted cool.

You'd catch him acting all cute in front of the baby though.

[gavalaa]

Sketches of all my redone designs for my Phantom Thieves from my AU, Icarus! Lots of info down below on the cut, so if you want to know more about the details and inspiration, feel free to keep reading!

This includes Akechi’s design for his Princely/Robin Hood attire, BEFORE his Icarus attire you might have seen from my other posts! Check out the Icarus AU tag for more info! Icarus has a main focus on Akechi and his relationship to the thieves, but the AU is actually an entire rewrite with new designs, 3rd semester and epilogue/strikers/tactica stories, hence Zenkichi and Sophia’s inclusion.

Read below for individual info:

I decided to include more motifs towards their persona’s and general vibes; and also just my own personal touches haha.

AKIRA - Not much has changed, I really like his design overall. I raised his boots to be like Arsene’s and changed his neck area.

MORGANA - I hate the OG pill shaped head, his new design is based heavily on the shape of Palico’s from Monster Hunter. Added a little more nod to Zorro/His persona motifs and also just made him cuter! Little hamburger headed cat.

RYUJI - I made him a little bulkier and gave some more weight to his outfit overall. I gave him heavier boots and a slightly buffer build to relate back more to his sporty style.

ANN - honestly was never too big on her latex outfit, I wanted to call back to a personal favorite female lead; Christine Daae, and used one of the versions of her Don Juan costume as inspiration. I remember seeing Phantom live and in many stage versions of her character, the Don Juan scene was a pure moment of female control, and she was truly working the Phantom and controlling every movement on the stage. Her presence is commanding, and I thought it was a very fitting tribute to Ann’s character as feminine strength. (I’m absolutely not referring to the movie iteration of Daae btw.)

YUSUKE - I referred to some historical art and legend of Goemon to add more elements of design to his outfit. When I color them, I want to add some really strong pops of color to his clothing to really drive the aesthetics and artistry home.

MAKOTO - Another totally redid outfit, I opted to give her a design which relates back to Popess Joan, and also Anat. I gave her a clawed hand on her right side and an uncovered hand on her left as both a nod to Anat’s hand raised in iconography of her from art history, but also to show the duality of Anat’s title as both a goddess of war, and of love. It also relates to the mythology of Joan and her nature as both a leader and a martyr. I changed her mask to a Venetian Commedia mask as well.

FUTABA - ok. I’ll be honest. I never liked her skin-tight outfit, it just doesn’t match her personality at all. Also, the high tech Egyptian feel never really sold me. I totally understand the tomb thing, but I truthfully think a dungeon/palace which was more like… tech/nerd themed would have been much more “futaba” the inspiration for this new outfit relates back to her persona, the Necromomicon, as well as her nerdy personality, and her affiliation as Alibaba (Ali Baba.) I wanted to go more lovecraftian, long sleeves and patterning designed to look more like lovecraftian tendrils, and big baggy pants and her classic shoes to match. The patterning on her undershirt will resemble a rib cage, both as a reference to her deathly “tomb” iconography, but also to Lovecraftian and Necronomicon lore. I think she matches the description of a nerdy, techie DND dungeon master more than the initial outfit, so that’s the route I took personally.

HARU - relating back to some fashions from 17th c France, where Milady’s story (the three musketeers) takes place, I kept her design relatively similar. I just gave her a little more iconography relating to the three musketeers and that general timeframe.

AKECHI - in his pre-Icarus outfit, I’ve given him a princely sort of outfit befitting of his two faced nature, and edited it to relate to Robin Hood a little more. I tried to keep it sleek and just generally very concealing and layered.

SUMIRE - i gave her some iconography relating back to one of her personas, who is an inference to Freya. I also included some more nods to classic Cinderella, with fantasy gown elements. Overall, relatively similar.

ZENKICHI - again, relatively similar, I really like his outfit. I just opened up the face some to show more personality and spiced up the outfit generally to keep it matching. honestly, les mis/Valjean was a hard one, but I also think his character could be heavily related back to Edmond Dante (Monte Cristo.) so I gave some nods to that as well.

SOPHIA - I turned her into a FINGIE!!!! I made her whole dress as a nod to her persona/to pandora’s tiles around her/the pillars. I wanted to make her small and almost unnatural since she’s an AI, and I thought having a little guy on the team would add some more variation.

[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 2 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~7k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; depictions of cancer and its treatment; secondhand embarrassment; awkward situations; soulmate skinship; loss of consciousness; dudes dude-broing a bit lol; mentions of minor character death (in past); cursing; chemo therapy and its symptoms; nausea and vomiting; characters eat meals; Reader is starting to grapple with some difficult feelings; Hybe kinda sorta depicted as being collective assholes in responding to this situation (gonna be a theme, guys)

Author's Note: Here comes part two! I know this is months coming (again), but I've finally found my stride with writing and work. I had this mostly done, and then redid some parts and finished editing, and well...I just hope you all enjoy it! My hope is to post part three in two weeks - I really want to get into a groove with plot progression here!

There is a lot of content in this chapter about medical procedures and treatment. I tried my best to represent these as accurately as possible with what information I could acquire, but if there are any misrepresentations, great or small, please don't hesitate to let me know!

Thank you again to all who have stuck with this story! I continue to be blown away by how much love you have all showered upon it, and I'm so excited to walk the path I intend for these two and have you all along for the ride!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or an ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens To the fall of ancient leafless rain, To feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned." ~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

Namjoon's labs had come back with even more promising numbers. A radiology scan had shown no shrinkage in his tumors, but the doctors commented that these were early days, and that the effects of the bond might even be keeping them from inflaming due to the chemo. You had watched him, smiling as the doctor reviewed the result, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Your soulmate was on the road to recovery. 

     Nurse Cha quickly checked both of you over before initiating another skinship session.

     "I saw you out on the grounds earlier, and for the first time in weeks," she said, shooting Namjoon an approving grin. "Keep that up. He needs sunlight and fresh air," she remarked to you, flustering you even as you nodded in agreement.

     Why was she telling you that? Were you his keeper?

     Actually, you supposed, in fact, you were.

     You peeked back up at him and found him regarding you with a small, amused smile, which disconcerted you further. You shook your head, shooting him an eye-roll as you made your way into the bathroom to disrobe.

     After your first few experiences with skinship, you had asked Matt to acquire you some sporty, conservative sports bra and boy-short sets, and you slipped into one, pulling a hospital gown over it. After the way your conversation with Hyung-seo had unfolded you were glad to have them - the practical underwear felt far less intimate and flirty than your typical bras and panties, giving you much more peace of mind. 

     As you left the bathroom and made your way back to Namjoon's half of the suite, you noticed him sitting on top of the covers, long legs stretched out in front of him, in nothing but a black tee and blue boxers. He had a drip attached to a tube that ran under his shirt. When Nurse Cha glanced up from her touchscreen tablet to see you approaching, she waved her hand for you to come around to the other side of the bed, which had been adjusted to accommodate Namjoon's upright position.

     "We’re going to try this sitting up today," she explained as she typed. "He's on a chemo drip right now, and the doctor wants to see if the bond will help ease the nausea and some of the other side effects. I heard you just had a nice lunch, so it would be wonderful if Namjoon could hang onto his."

     She shot him a rueful smirk and he let out a chuckle. You smiled in turn and nodded as you slipped off your hospital gown and draped it over the end of the bed. You glanced up at Namjoon who had cast his eyes down at his hands, folded in his lap. The huge apparatus was lower than usual, so you slipped rather easily into it and against Namjoon's side. He raised an arm to drape over your shoulders and you settled against him, pressing your bare leg against his. It was comical how much shorter yours were, but you could only think of that for a fraction of a second as every other thought in your mind melted at the feeling of the man beside you.

     Butter. Warm, melted butter. It was as if every single muscle group in your body had suddenly released every bit of tension it had been holding. So many sensations at once, but this was the one you felt like leaning into at the moment. You felt like collapsing against him.

He sighed deeply through his nose. Yeah, you felt that on a spiritual level. Mmh. 

     Your melty, bond-induced reverie was broken, however, by a dissatisfied noise from Nurse Cha as she stepped toward the bed. You looked up to find her expression matched her tone. 

     "You're not really getting much contact," she said, scanning her eyes over everywhere you touched...and didn't. 

     You raised your arms slightly and a bit uselessly. You felt Namjoon lean forward.

     "Should I...like..." you looked to her for direction, but she was already in motion. 

     She grabbed your arm, guiding you off the bed and motioned for Namjoon to scoot back to the middle. She said something to Namjoon in Korean and suddenly he was tugging his shirt over his head. You felt your cheeks getting hot. Social norms had not prepared you for this amount of casual nudity. You stood there, eyes glued to Nurse Cha, hugging your arms over your middle and hoping that Namjoon was playing his usual blessed game of "look anywhere but soulmate". The nurse took your arm again and guided you back toward your previous perch.

     "Sit between his legs and lean back against his chest," she instructed, nudging you to join him.

You looked up at Namjoon. His face looked like you felt. And then it was just too much. You were standing in a hospital in South Korea in your underwear being asked to sit in a practically naked celebrity's lap so that he wouldn't die.

     You busted out laughing.

     Nurse Cha jumped, surprise clear in her features as she regarded you. 

     "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, bending over to support yourself against the bed as you continued to chuckle, "This is just..."

     You snorted. Mortified but still attempting to swallow your giggles you clapped a hand over your mouth and looked up at Namjoon whose dimples were out and whose shoulders were shaking with his own silent amusement. Nurse Cha's lips curved up a bit to one side, but her narrowed eyes spoke of far less hilarity felt.

     "Here's the thing," you said, turning to the nurse while still biting back your laughter, "Namjoon is spoken for, and...well...I have a pretty nice ass."

     The nurse's eyes widened.

     You were probably being really impolite. That would have been borderline in the States. You weren't sure about here, but you felt like that might have broken some unspoken rules. Or, maybe spoken ones because there were a lot of formalities, you were learning. But you had reached your limit with all this. The awkwardness levels were at maximum, and you were gonna cope the only way you knew how - with humor.

     When you hazarded a look at your soulmate, he had drawn his knees up, grabbing them with his hands, his head dropped between them and his shoulders shaking as he badly repressed laughter of his own. You could see those dimples again. They were even deeper than before.

     "We need to get maximum skin-to-skin contact during these sessions," Nurse Cha insisted indignantly, clearly a bit flustered. 

     "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you offered her a contrite smile as you rocked back on your feet. 

     "Ah!" Namjoon drew your attention as he pointed behind you. "Throw me that pillow?" 

     You grabbed the little green cushion from the corner of the couch and tossed it to him. He lowered his legs and placed it over his lap.

     "How's that?" he asked with a closed-lip smirk.

     You gave him a thumbs up and clambered back onto the bed to situate yourself between his legs. You looked back over at Nurse Cha. 

     "Better?" 

     She raised a brow as she handed you a blanket. You thanked her quietly and cleared your throat as you fanned it out over your legs and Namjoon's, tucking it up to your waist. The nurse checked Namjoon's vitals and said that she would return in an hour to take him off the drip.

     You sank back tentatively against your soulmate's chest, careful to avoid the little port below his sternum. There it was again. Butter.

     Somewhere above and behind you, Namjoon chuckled. You smiled knowingly.

     "What?" you asked indignantly.

     "Did you see her face when you said that?"

     You shrugged against him.

     "Hey, it's true!" you insisted.

     "Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you," he murmured.

     You could hear that he was still smiling, but he sounded serious all the same. You let your head fall back.

     "Honestly, I felt bad for you," you huffed in another laugh before sobering. "And, thank you," you turned, casting your eyes up over your shoulder, "For always being so respectful. It's made this a lot easier."

     "Oh," Namjoon responded softly, "Of course." 

     You looked at his arms resting at his sides and thought of what Nurse Cha had said. You slowly picked up his hands in yours, raising them slightly.

     "May I put them around me? For more contact," you asked.

     You asked it boldly, but you felt shy. You wanted the chemo to work. You wanted it to stop hurting him while it did. When Namjoon let out a low hum of assent you drew his forearms around your waist and laid your own over them.

     Your eyes slipped shut. So euphoric but it always made you feel like sleeping. You weren't going to give into the urge, though, not just yet. There were conversations to be had.

     "Tell me about Hyung-seo," you prompted softly, shifting against him to get comfortable. 

     He was quiet for a moment.

     "Well," he responded slowly, "what do you want to know?"

     "How did you meet her?"

     He went quiet again. Then he sighed a small sigh. You wondered what that little breath carried.

     "She debuted in 2019. A buddy of mine - Seo Jungkwon, he goes by Tiger JK in the industry -  had signed her to his agency. Bangtan was just taking off, things were blowing up. I actually collaborated with him which is when I met her."

     He silenced for a moment.

     "We had a lot in common - how we approached life and music."

     "Had?" you asked, gently.

     He heaved another sigh. 

     "The last few years have been really tough on her. I mean, she hasn't had an easy life to begin with, but..."

     He paused, as if deciding whether or not to utter the words he wanted to say next.

     "Anyway," he redirected himself, and you wondered what thought he had dismissed, "Preparing for a tour is grueling, and this is her first one. I think the stress is really getting her."

     You hummed in acknowledgement. You recognized it in his voice - you should after all, as the same sound had echoed so often in your own - the hollow clemency of lying to yourself on someone else's behalf. 

     "Well," you offered, "She's lucky to have you supporting her, especially when you're going through such a difficult time yourself."

     Namjoon scoffed.

     "I mean, yeah, I'm sick, but...I don't know. In a lot of ways my life has been a lot easier these days. A lot simpler."

     "Really? In what way?"

     He huffed out a wry laugh.

     "I have so much time to just do whatever. Read, write...I've been learning a couple of languages. I get to do v-lives with ARMY pretty regularly, as the company allows - Jungkook went kind of crazy with it before enlistment so we have to go through them for access now."

     You had no idea what a v-live was, but from what little you had seen of Jungkook, you could imagine it took very little for him to get up to a significant amount of shenanigans. You smirked.

     "Did you have so little time for those things before?" you queried.

     "No! No way. It was like running non-stop for ten years. During my time in the military, I got a bit of a break and a change, but then I got sick and had to be discharged early, so...well, I didn't even get to experience that like I should have."

     You felt your hands tighten in response around his forearms. His life hadn't been cake-walk either, that was clear. You wondered if he knew that, if he acknowledged it.

     "Well, I'm glad you have more time for those things. You should keep as much time for them as you can, even when you're better."

     He paused for a moment before whispering agreement into your hair. You felt it even though he didn't say it, the caveat - if he got better. He would. You'd never make him a promise you couldn't guarantee, but you could make one to yourself. So you did.

     For the rest of the session you talked about Bangtan, and the recent history of the group's situation.

     You learned about conscription and that it applied to idols as well. You learned the members had decided to enlist pretty much around the same time so that they could reunite to tour again after being discharged. Namjoon had been released ahead of schedule when he had fallen ill, and at this point most of the members had followed, save Yoongi who was set to be discharged the following week. He fondly reported that they were all anxious to meet you, and that Jungkook and Jimin hadn't stopped pestering him with all manner of questions in your regard since their visit the previous day.

     Every time you had heard him speak about his members, the deep brotherly affection that permeated his words was incredibly evident. 

You asked him to tell you about each one, and he did.

     You blinked your eyes open as you felt Namjoon shift you in his arms. You slowly pulled yourself forward, struggling to focus.

     "I...I'm sorry," you murmured, "I fell asleep on you again." 

     Namjoon chuckled and assured you it was quite alright. As you wearily slipped off the mattress to stand, you suddenly felt the room tilt and your knees buckle. Namjoon's reflexes were quick enough to catch you in his arms. He stood to pull you up and hold you against him.

     "You okay?" he asked in concern.

     "I...I got dizzy..."

     You attempted to put your weight into your legs, but failed, sagging weakly against his broad frame.

     Nurse Cha was already in motion.

     "Help her to the bed," she ordered, striding across the room. 

     Namjoon wasted no time in scooping you up in a bridal carry to follow her. You gasped despite yourself, the sudden movement and his strength equally surprising. But every thought was fleeting as you found yourself struggling to maintain a grip on consciousness.

     You felt Namjoon lay you gently on the bed as cold, sticky monitors were pressed to your skin; heard him ask the nurse what was the matter, his voice tinged with anxiety. 

You heard him say your name.

     And then you heard nothing.

     You groaned as you came to. Your throat felt like the Sahara and your head was pounding. Pushing yourself to sit up, you became aware of the sound of voices on the other side of the curtain. Carefully drawing your legs to the edge of the bed, you clutched your IV stand as you struggled to your feet.

     Pulling back the hanging divider, you were surprised to see Matt occupying the little couch, a cup of coffee on the low table in front of him. Namjoon sat in the opposing chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in rapt attention as the older man spoke. It was dark out.

     "Matt," you croaked, shuffling forward.

     Namjoon's head whipped around at the sound of your voice and he sprang up, just a moment faster than his guest, striding over to take you by the arm. You faltered just a moment in your steps as his hand cradled your elbow and you felt it - his touch and what it did to you. You wanted to curl into him. You wanted him to hold you.

You gently tugged your arm away.

     "You're awake - let me call the nurse," he said, almost to himself as he moved to press the red call button. 

     You sank down beside Matt.

     "What time is it?" you asked in a husky murmur. Your friend checked his watch.

     "1:33am."

     You frowned, blinking blearily.

     "What the heck are you doing here at the hour?"

     "Well!" Matt laughed before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's nice to see you too."

     "You know what I mean..." you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

     "He called me," he said, gesturing with his raised mug toward Namjoon, who had returned to the armchair. "Said you'd had a fainting spell."

     Your eyes followed his motion to your soulmate, who was already scanning his over you, brow furrowed and full lips pursed pensively.

     "How are you feeling?" Namjoon asked.

     You huffed out a mirthless chuckle.

     "Like I got hit by a freight train."

     The worry lines on his brow deepened.

     "Hey, look..." you held up a hand to wave it weakly between both men as they regarded you in apparent concern. "I'm probably just adjusting to the bond or something. Cancer isn't contagious, you know," you ribbed, shooting a tiny smirk at Namjoon who attempted to return the expression though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

     The night shift nurse and an aid entered the room to assess you. Namjoon asked to speak with a doctor, and was told that Dr. Na would be checking in first thing in the morning. The nurse had very little else to report other than that your blood work had been sent to the lab and that they would be able to determine more once your results were available. He informed Matt that some charts would likely be available in twenty-four hours, but that your CMP could take up to three days. The aid urged you to try to get some more rest. Before departing, the nurse removed your spent sodium chloride drip and said that a meal would be sent up which you were advised to eat if possible, but to be sure to report any signs of food-rejection should they appear.

     Namjoon stood and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed at your little portion of the suit.

     "They want you to rest, but how the hell are you supposed to sleep with me over here snoring? It's keeping you up, right?"

     You smirked.

     "Well, most of my rest over the last couple of days has been due to a lack of consciousness, but I do have to admit that you woke me up a couple of times last night."

    Namjoon groaned discomfitedly.

     "It really isn't a big deal!" you reassured him, "I'm a pretty sound sleeper."

     "And still I woke you up."

     "Don't worry about it..."

     "It's not just that, though," he insisted, hands in the pockets of his sweats and head cocked to one side as he continued to consider the small space across from his. "You don't even have a window. If you want privacy, you have to sit behind that curtain in the tiny bed -- I hate it. I've hated it since they were first preparing for you to arrive. I'll make some calls tomorrow. You need your own room," he stated decidedly, returning to the chair across from you.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he fired off a message.

     Namjoon did have a point, it was a pretty meager space you currently occupied. But they must have had a reason, you thought, for wanting you to share a room with him. And you didn't want to cause any kind of fuss in the name of personal convenience that might detract from his treatment or recovery. 

     "Namjoon, it's fine..."

     He looked up at you, his brown eyes assured and determined.

     "Just let me handle it. I've got you."

     A sudden warmth spread through your chest like the rising sun on the frost of your anxieties, his gaze melting away the familiar worry of burdensomeness. You looked away shyly.

     "Good man," Matt said to him with a nod, and they shared a look as your soulmate nodded in return that seemed to be one of mutual masculine respect. You wanted to roll your eyes a little bit. You also felt pretty damn grateful.

     Matt stood to leave, pressing a kiss on your temple and promised that he'd return in the morning. He paused to shake Namjoon's hand.

     "If there are any further developments, don't hesitate to call me," he said, to which the younger man nodded in agreement.

     "Or I can call you!" you rasped after him as he raised his hand in one last gesture of farewell while shutting the door.

     You huffed.

     "Smart guy," Namjoon remarked, sitting back down in his chair. "You know he's read Toegye exhaustively?"

     You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking with a wry grin.

     "Two peas in a pod. He's probably going to be coming around here nonstop until he leaves just so you two can gab in genius."

     Namjoon smiled and touched his fingers absently to his jaw, his eyes trained on the linoleum.

     "Are you bothered that I called him?" he asked abruptly, glancing up at you.

     "What? No, of course not," you reassured him with a shake of your head. "I just..." You rolled your eyes and smirked. "I'm not used to sitting around while boys decide what's best for me."

     "Aaahhh," Namjoon responded with a nod, interlacing his fingers, "Well, you've been looking out for me since you walked through that door back there, and honestly, I could get used to that..." he leaned forward a bit, "But only if I get to return the favor. You said we don't owe each other, but that doesn't mean you get to be the only one doing the giving."

     You stared at him. The only one to do the giving. The words jarred something loose inside you. You swallowed the strange feeling that threatened to well into your throat.

     Before you could respond, an aid entered with your meal. A tray loaded with dakjuk, rice, and several banchan was placed before you. It smelled fantastic, and you actually felt you could eat. You moved to take the tray to your side of the suite but Namjoon stopped you.

"Hey, wait. I'm hungry. I'll eat with you."

He crossed to the other side of the room to pick up the telephone.

"Go ahead," he said with nod of his head a little grin, "Don't wait on me."

     He didn't have to twist your arm. The chicken porridge was steaming and savory, warming you up within just a few bites. A similar tray soon arrived for Namjoon, and you found it did feel far nicer to eat with someone than alone.

     Between bites he asked you about Matt.

     "He's my dad's best friend. When he died - my dad - Matt and his wife Rebecca helped to take care of us for a while. They've been really good to my family."

     Namjoon's face sombered.

     "I'm sorry about your father."

     You smiled softly at him.

     "It was a long time ago, when I was ten. He was a firefighter."

     He nodded quietly, giving you the opening to continue. You decided to take it.

     "A fire broke out at a high-security prison. The situation got really bad with a lot of people still inside - prisoners. They told the team to stop attempting rescues, that it wasn't worth it, for people like that. But my dad kept going. Alone. He saved seventeen more lives before...well, he couldn't make it out."

     When you looked up at Namjoon again his eyes were locked on you, his chopsticks resting idly in his hand.

     "Wow," he murmured after a pause. "And you were ten years old? That must have been so hard."

     You dragged your spoon through your dakjuk.

     "It was. But managing things after he was gone...that was harder, I think."

     Namjoon's brow knit in question but he didn't press you further. For the second time that night, you were grateful. Death was easy to explain, other things were much more difficult.

     You finished the rest of your meal chatting about Matt, Neo-Confucianism, and unequivocal humanism between mouthfuls of rice and porridge.

      The next day, you were moved into your new suite a few doors down. Namjoon had received no resistance from the hospital in procuring you the space, as apparently Hybe's representatives had been the ones to originate the request that you be at the idol's immediate disposal.

     Your room mirrored the setup of your soulmate's, being on the same floor but across the hall, and Kang Dae had dropped in with a catalog stating that you could select whatever you wished to make the space more comfortable. You had circled a few things and he had departed to procure them. Matt had brought the bulk of your luggage, which meant a good portion of books, your art supplies, and finally more clothes which you would blessedly now have no worries of mixing up with Namjoon's. You changed into jeans and a comfy Nirvana graphic tee.

     You were busy unpacking when a knock came at your door. You called for the person to come in while you continued to stack books onto a small set of shelves. The doctor had cautioned you and Namjoon against further skinship sessions until your blood work had come back, so you were anxious for the results, not wanting him to go through another bout of chemo without the aid of the bond. 

When you glanced up expectantly, however, you found your curiosity would have to wait - at least, concerning your charts - as in the entry stood none other than Kim Hyung-seo.

     She lingered in the entryway at the mouth of the space, her arms wrapped around her middle. She looked much more casual today in a pair of big baggy camouflage cargo pants, a tight black crop top, and chunky white sneakers. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had black mask pulled under her chin. She was bare-faced, save for two small red dots under her right eye.

     You stood from your crouched position, trying your best to keep the surprise from your face.

     "Hi," you greeted her with a small smile, which she returned remorsefully, still hugging herself as she glanced around the room. "Would you like to sit down?" you offered, motioning to the furniture beside you. 

     She nodded, crossing over to take a seat in the little arm chair. You moved to sit across from her. Your first instinct was to offer her something to drink, only to realize you were in a hospital room with no way to deliver, at which you both laughed awkwardly. After a moment of tense silence, she looked up at you, gnawing her bottom lip.

     “I owe you an apology," she sighed. 

You gave her an encouraging smile.

     "Fuck..." she dropped her head in her hands, and you waited for her to collect herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, interlacing her fingers with their long white nails in her lap. 

     "What I did...what I said yesterday...I was cunt. I'm sorry." 

     You let out a little laugh at her choice of words.

     "Well, I do accept your apology...but, don't be too hard on yourself. It was a really bizarre and unprecedented situation for all of us. I'm glad we're moving forward, and in a better direction."

You smiled again at her reassuringly.

     She nodded, her lips pursed and quivering slightly. You could tell she was blinking back tears.

     "Me and Joon...we'd only been engaged for a few weeks before we found out...you know, that he had a match. That it could be his only option to live - bonding. With you. It's just all really fucking scary."

     You nodded sympathetically. She released another sigh as she continued.

     "He had to decide so fast, they pushed him to just make this huge life commitment as fast as they fucking could and now..." She raised her arms, looking around the room in resign, "Here we are. And we have to figure everything out, and I'm about to leave and..."

     "I'm sorry," you murmured sympathetically.

She looked down into her lap, worry still twisting her features.

You wondered why she was leaving, now of all times - when things were the way they were. But that wasn't for you to judge.

"You know," you offered hopefully, "At least he's on the mend. At least you know he'll have someone to look after him."

     She hummed. You wondered if it was an agreement as her eyes flitted over your face searchingly. Anxiety from the previous day's encounter began to seep into your chest as you considered if you had chosen your words poorly. You had said what would have comforted you in under the same circumstances. But maybe you were different - too different.

You softened your heart, determined to reserve judgement. Life had given Hyung-seo had her own shoes, and you would do everything you could to understand what it was like to walk in them.

     "Can I add you on KakaoTalk?" you asked, realizing you were still clutching a book, and setting it onto the low table to pull your phone from your pocket.

     She was chewing on her lip again when you looked up. She stared down at the hardback. 

     "You read a lot, huh?" she asked, though it didn't sound like a question.

     "I do," you answered slowly, wondering where her train of thought was headed.

"All that stuff you said yesterday, you seem, like really in tune with people. And smart. You guys are, like, the same."

She pressed the words out in a strained voice. She looked so small and so sad. Your heart sank for her.

"Namjoon actually said that very thing about you yesterday."

She glanced up at you in surprise and confusion. You smiled.

"He said that when you met he was struck with how much you shared in how you saw the world, and how you approached music."

She regarded you silently as you continued.

"And that's your life right, your great love? Music? What a wonderful thing, to base your life with a partner in a love you share."

She nodded slowly, her eyes watering.

"Thank you," she finally whispered, and you nodded in understanding.

You reached out to take her hand and she squeezed yours. After a few moments of silence, she rose and wiped her eyes.

     "I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to see Joon again before I go," she explained. 

     You nodded.

     "Thank you for coming to talk to me and for sharing about how this has been for you. I really appreciate it."    

     She smiled - perhaps genuinely for the first time since you met. It was a lovely smile.

     You sighed as she left. It wasn't much, but it was progress. Maybe she would let you in. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all.

     When several hours had passed with no updates on your lab results, you decided to take a walk down the hall to see how your soulmate was faring. You knocked on his door, but received no answer. 

     "Namjoon!" you called softly with another rap of your knuckles, but were still met with silence.

     Just when you were about to turn and go, the door creaked inward on its hinges, slipping open to reveal your soulmate's tired face.

     "I just came to see how you were doing...are you okay?." 

     You followed him as he slumped back into the suite, but before he could even reach his bed he turned and pushed past you to hurry into the bathroom. It caught you a little off-guard and you stumbled, catching yourself on the opposing wall, but quickly realized the reason for his urgency when sounds of retching followed.

     The bathroom door was cracked open and you could see him hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily as his body wracked with each attempt to expel the contents of his stomach. You hesitated a moment, then pushed the door in slowly, coming to kneel beside him and gingerly place a hand on his back.

     He raised his head, eyes fluttering when you touched him. You gently pulled your palm up and down his spine, feeling the warm surge of the bond even through his shirt. He reached for a piece of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

     "You don't have to do that..." he murmured, resting his forehead on his arm propped on the porcelain rim.

     "I know," you answered quietly, continuing to slowly rub his back. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?"

     "You're not supposed to be touching me until we know what's going on with you." 

     You slipped your other hand out to curl your fingers around his exposed bicep below the sleeve of his tee. He sighed, shoulders sagging as the comfort and warmth of the contact soothed his aching body.

     "Can I?" you softly persisted, and he nodded his head where it laid against his forearm.

     Slipping your hand beneath the baggy cotton you ran your fingers over his soft, taut skin, heart squeezing at the definition of his spine and the ghosts of his ribs. 

     "Did you do chemo without me?" you asked.

     “I've been doing it before you got here, you know,” he retorted weakly.

     "How are you supposed to gain weight if it makes you this sick? Please don't do it again without me."

     "You passed out, Y/n," he shifted his head to look at you.

     "We'll figure that out," you smiled, "But you need to be as agreeable to these treatments as possible, right?" 

     He nodded.

     "Hyung-seo paid me a visit this morning," you remarked after a moment of silence.

     "She told me."

     "Said she leaves for her tour tomorrow. When does she get back?"

     "February."

     "Of next year?" You paused to temper your shock, "That's a long time."

     "It's a world tour. That's how it goes."

     "Wow."

     You realized for the hundredth time in as many hours that there was so much about their lifestyle to which you were ignorant. You had so much to learn, but one thing you did know: he needed you right now, so you stayed by his side until the sickness had subsided.

     Nurse Cha arrived shortly after to conduct routine checks on Namjoon, and you sat by, thumbing through the latest issue of Batman and Robin which Matt had been kind enough to drop off with your things.

     "Your initial blood work came back with some concerns," she said, turning to you and picking up her tablet to access the results. "There are signs that your body's nutrients are being depleted. Since your fainting spells have been occuring during skinship, we ask that you refrain from touching until your CMP comes back."

     Namjoon glanced over at you, a chiding expression on his features. You flatly ignored him.

     "I need to be able to touch him, especially if he feels ill. He needs to keep down his food, right?"

     Nurse Cha hummed, pursing her lips.

     "Well, I'm going to run this by Dr. Na, but if absolutely necessary, keep it light and brief. And please be sure to document even the smallest instances of skinship so that we can track the effects."

     You agreed readily, and she left to continue her rounds. 

Glancing out the window, you noted that the evening was mild, and the gardens were aflutter with birds and awash in soft late-afternoon light. You thought about what the nurse had said before about the fresh air.

     "Hey," you remarked, still looking out the window, "We should take a walk - it looks so nice out. You up for it?" 

     "Great idea," he replied, joining you to look out across the greenery. "I'm definitely feeling up for it." He huffed out a little chuckle.

     "What?" you asked suspiciously. You were beginning to recognize his different laughs - this particular chuckle was always at your expense.

     "Gonna keep pushing it with the poor nurse, huh?"

     You scoffed.

     "Well, if I hadn't would you be feeling well enough to go out right now?"

     "No."

     When you glanced up you found that he was gazing raptly at you, his face filled with unchecked thanksgiving. Your witty response faltered on your tongue. 

     His touch, you were pretty damn sure that for the rest of his natural life you would never grow used to it...but his eyes? It was almost the same. Was this part of the bond? Or was it just...him? Did everyone feel this way when he held them in those eyes? When he looked at them, really looked...

You couldn't tear your eyes away. You couldn't find words.

     When Namjoon's phone suddenly buzzed you thanked almighty Samsung and sagged against the window pane. 

     "Damn," he muttered. 

     You looked at him questioningly.

     "I have a consultation with my radiation oncologist in ten minutes. Go ahead! I'll meet you down there right after."

     He pulled a sweatshirt over his head and changed his slippers out for his shoes.

     You returned to your room to grab outerwear as well. The evening was temperate enough to go without, but you were feeling chillier than usual. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

     Mom flashed across the screen.

     Your chest tightened and you silenced the ringer. You'd call her tomorrow, you told yourself. Besides, she had already spoken to Matt. 

     When you reached the garden, you decided there was someone you should call while you waited. Ambling down a gravel path, you held the phone up to your ear, stuffing your other hand into the pocket of your jean jacket.

     "Matt told mom that you passed out - are you okay?" Diana's voice on the other end registered genuine distress.

     You rolled your eyes and sighed. 

     "I'm fine. My body is just adjusting to the bond and probably jet lag and whatnot."

     "You better fucking be fine or I'm coming out there to make sure you are."

     You laughed. 

     "To South Korea? On a Wednesday?"

     "You know what I mean, god! You're so - hey! How did the fiancee thing go?"

     "I knew you'd want an update."

     "Spill."

     You sighed.

     "Uh-oh," she hummed, "That was your, things-are-an-effing-disaster sigh."

     "It was no- why do you keep trying to divine my air flow like they're casting-runes or something? Will you just let me tell you?"

     "You don't always say."

     You huff in exasperation.

     "Okay, well, I won't tell you what that sigh is," she mumbles in trepidation, "But I will tell you that I know enough to shut up and let you continue. Go on."

     "It didn't go swimmingly."

     "Fuck."

     "Yeah,” You lifted your fingers to absently stroke at the petal of a rose. “She seemed very frightened by the whole situation, which is completely understandable. But then...she also kind of came at me. She started asking pretty intimate stuff about the bond right off the bat. When I tried to redirect by suggesting we get to know each other better she started saying all this stuff she already knew about me. About Dad and Mom."

     "What?!" Diana gasped incredulously.

     "It was almost as if...I don't know, I could have been reading her incorrectly, but it was almost seemed as if she was trying to bring things up that might knock me off my footing. Make me...insecure." 

     You suddenly remembered your conversation with Namjoon the previous night. He hadn’t let on that he had already known your father passed when you were a child...but he had known. Passing out during skinship had gotten in the way of the conversation you had intended to broach with him about knowledge of the other. You had done research before meeting him, but only the basics. You had felt that as much should come from him as possible. Clearly you hadn’t been given that opportunity.

     "That bitch," Diana seethed, pulling your mind back into the moment.

     "Hey, hey, hey," you cautioned her, "She's in a extremely difficult situation. And that was just my biased impression of her intentions. Don't be too quick to judge her, Di."

     Diana hummed discontentedly.

     "Also, she came to apologize to me today before she leaves on tour. We made progress, I think."

     "Apologizing? Bare minimum," Diana said with an air of dismissal. "What did you say her name was?"

     "Kim Hyung-seo. Her stage name is Bibi."

     Diana was silent for a moment. 

     "Found her," she declared. 

     You smiled to yourself - of course she had found her, the woman was famous. It wasn't as if stalking measures were necessary (though you had no doubt of Diana's abilities should that have been the case).

Diana clicked her tongue in disappointment.

     "She's hot."

     "She is very pretty," you agreed.

     "Yeah, but you're hot too. And, y'kow, you're you. Bet you're smarter..."

     "Di," you said, stopping to pinch your brow, "We're not in some kind of competition. We're both just human beings navigating pretty uncharted waters, okay? We both have our strengths and weaknesses. She's going to be part of my life as Namjoon's wife, so not only is building a good relationship with her important to me, I have a responsibility to her as well. We all do. To each other."

     Your sister paused on the other end before relenting sullenly.

     "Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right - you do need to make nice with her...as long as they're married, that is..."

     "DIANA."

     "Okay! Geez!" Diana cleared her throat. "How is the soulmate doing?"

     "He's getting stronger every day," you answered, happily moving the topic away from Hyung-seo.

     "That's great!" she crooned. 

     "It is."

     "Are you smiling? You sound like you're smiling."

     "How are you doing, Di? Classes are starting soon."

     You smirked as your sister's attention surged in a new direction, and for the next half an hour she regaled you with tales of her new housemates, and the smarmy and unseemly Johnnie (who had come crawling back, as predicted, upon returning to the States). 

     Upon hanging up with Diana, you checked the time, and discovered that it had been nearly an hour since you left Namjoon. You were starting to feel weak, and a bit cold - hunger, you told yourself - so you decided to return indoors for dinner.

     You called Namjoon on the way up to the fifth floor to inform him if your change in plans. He apologized profusely, saying that the doctor had been detained, and asked you to join him for dinner.

Letting yourself into his suite, you shrugged your jacket off as you headed for your usual spot on the couch when, suddenly, you froze.

    A man was rising to stand from where he had been seated on the sofa. He was clad in a dark blue button-down with a golden emblem on the shoulder and black slacks. He wore a black cap which bore a similar insignia to the one on his shirt and fit snugly over his short dark hair. He wasn’t as tall as Namjoon, though his shoulders were nearly as wide. His features were soft but arresting, and his deep brown irises, you thought, seemed to hold a bit of everything a pair of eyes could. Your comic book was in his hand.

You crossed the room toward him.

     "Hi, I’m sorry, Namjoon will be here soon - oh, I'm his soulmate, Y/n," you stammered, before catching yourself.

     The young man's sharp eyes widened, his lips parting as you bowed.

     "Je ireum-eun Y/n imnida," you started over in Korean.

     He bowed in return, raising his dark brown eyes to you again as he responded in a soft deep voice.

     "Annyeonghaseyo, je ireum-eun Min Yoongi imnida."

[sublimecatgalaxy]

could you do a Daryl dixon with "you're hurting me." It was just one of those losing temper kinda things then after the reader says that he starts to remember some things from his childhood. love your work btw<3

Hi anon friend!

Long time no see, this is my first request after about a month hiatus! I will be getting to my masterlist eventually, updating it, but so far I went through and redid my theme of both this blog and my side blog to give me a fresh start!

I hope you like this :)

Staring at him through my damp lashes, Daryl sends me a small look over his shoulders, reminding himself that I'm here, standing here like a pathetic mess, still digesting the words that came out of his mouth just seconds ago.

Stop acting like I need you.

Maybe I'm too clingy, maybe I relied on him too much throughout the world falling and going to hell. I should've learned from him, gained experience and talent, learned how to fend for myself so I didn't end up suffocating him in the process of needing him.

"I didn't..." He trails off, going to take a step towards me but he stops himself short a few inches, lips parted in quiet shock at his own horribly rude words.

"It's okay. I understand." Replying simply, I back away from him, falling into myself while wrapping my arms around my body, trying to conceal my hurt from him but he just shakes his head.

"Didn't mean it."

"It's okay if you did." I mutter, voice barely teetering on the edge of a whisper as he stares at me, wildly, as if my words couldn't be further from the truth. He takes a second, the pregnant pause only making my stomach sink with more weighted anxiety but his eyes are no longer angry, just frustrated and helpless.

"Not used to having people. Needing people." He huffs, reaching up to run a hand through his greasy hair with a loud, puffed sigh. "Makes me angry sometimes that I'm not as good on my own as I thought."

"You're hurting me." The words slip out faster than I intended them to, barely giving him a moment to finish his sentences as he gazes at me, eyes suddenly seeming beyond broken. "By saying those things." I add, biting anxiously at my lip with a deep, stuttered breath.

"Don't wanna hurt you." He reaches out to me, this time not stopping until his hand is wrapping around mine and there are unspoken words, an apology, an explanation, behind his sorry, sad eyes. I give him a firm nod, clearing my throat in an attempt to maintain my composure but it breaks a bit, a tear slipping down my cheek as he pulls me to his chest.

[birdifulhuman]

Hello. Drawing request. Can I have a Tim (mine or yours) in a cute little bi-themed crop top. Thank you very much.

I was gonna draw both of them but the hand pain came in strong.

Anyways I redid my Tim design (body wise) and I love him.

[pequenaotaku]

Hello again~

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

(I have to confess that I’ve been stalling on getting back to writing and making my posts, but that’s not the point right now…)

Anyway, these are the Leclerc twins, my other precious girls. I ended up keeping the original base (Nina’s model, made by @candysweetposts), but I completely redid the design (I think the only physical thing I kept was the heterochromia, and even that seems like it went from water to wine).

Currently, the twins live in the center of Amoris, as roommates sharing an apartment. But they were born and raised in the countryside, with very traditional and strict parents. And despite that, or maybe because of it, they always attended schools in the city, no matter how long and exhausting the trips were every day. They definitely don’t miss that time at all.

Speaking of nostalgia though… High school was, without a doubt, a very impactful time in their minds, full of drama, discoveries, and teenage hormones. It was at the peak of her 16 years that Lilian discovered and accepted herself as a woman, and also fell in love for the first time. It was at the peak of her 16 years that Louise realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life as the troublemaker she always was, though secretly.

Going back to the initial train of thought, the two moved back in together after Dante’s life was cut short by that tragic accident. Louise wanted to comfort her sister, to stay as close as possible to help her through her grieving period. Two years later, Lilian discovered, with frustration, that time doesn’t heal any pain, it only softens it. She’s generally doing well, has moved on like anyone else would have, had to piece herself back together, but she’s not thinking of finding someone else to love anytime soon; she still occasionally sees ghosts from the past. They continue to live together because they’ve gotten used to each other’s presence again—it’s fun and makes things lighter.

Lilian Leclerc

She is 30 years old.

She is exactly 7 minutes and 38 seconds older.

She pursues a career as an interior designer at a company that emerged in the field a few years ago called Essence Intérieure (EI).

She is a transgender woman.

She realized she was trans after a prank that happened in high school. It was a themed event where boys had to dress as girls and girls had to dress as boys. In other words, crossdressing. It was something really silly and simple, but after the party, alone in her room while looking at herself in the mirror with a pretty wig and some clothes borrowed from her sister, things started to make sense.

Because they were very traditional, it was a mess when her parents accidentally found out—almost like a war. Louise, who had already talked to her sister after catching her posing in front of the mirror, fought in Lilian’s defense. The two even ran away from home for a week, hiding out in an abandoned building nearby until they were found and dragged back home. Their father, Anton, was so devastated by their disappearance that he realized what was more important, and it didn’t take long for him to try to approach, understand, and accept her, fortunately. Lurdette, their mother, still insists on calling her by her deadname, though. Even though it’s hard to endure, she followed her father’s advice to ignore these slights to avoid big fights until both of them were old enough to leave home properly. In the end, she knows it could have been much worse.

She has a more peaceful, sweeter personality. Sometimes, she spends too much time lost in her own little world, but she’s very dedicated, persistent, and has a good touch with people.

She’s always had a melancholic look, whether before or after her mourning. At the same time, her heterochromia always gave her a different kind of glow. Dante used to call her Lys Stellaire, or Stellar Lily, because it seemed like her eyes held the cold beauty of sideral space, and that was the first thing he fell in love with.

She loves soft, light colors like baby pink and baby blue, egg-yolk yellow, but mostly white.

She does gardening in her free time; in fact, she’s not sure if she loves the flowers or the bees more.

Speaking of animals, when Dante was killed, one of her concerns was who would take care of his two pets, Nova and Nebula. At the time, the couple lived together, so she was already used to the two snakes, although she wasn’t the one responsible for feeding them, cleaning the terrarium, helping with shedding, etc. She had never had much courage for that, being afraid of getting bitten even though she knew they were tame and non-venomous. However, after what happened, she forced herself to learn everything she needed to be a good caretaker. She was sure that if Colette, her sister-in-law, became the new caretaker, she’d do a good job too, but she didn’t want the snakes to go through the stress of a new routine. Honestly, she has no idea how a snake’s emotional state works, or even if they have one, but she likes to think that every now and then, they wonder where their dad is and miss him.

As mentioned before, Lilian and Colette grew much closer after the tragedy. Colette really sees her as an older sister. She makes a point of visiting her practically every weekend, and they always have video calls to gossip about the strange customers she’s dealt with at the record store. Very specific, I know.

Louise Leclerc

She is 30 years old.

She is exactly 7 minutes and 38 seconds younger.

She works doing odd jobs, mostly as a hobby, because she loves trying new things. She’s been a pizza delivery girl, an aspiring doll stylist, a waterslide tester, a fortune cookie writer, a Zumba teacher, a skydiving instructor, and many other exotic jobs like that. But in reality, she’s an ethical hacker by passion. She works within the law, as strange or curious as that might seem. She basically mitigates company vulnerabilities, investigates incidents, and develops secure software for computer systems, networks, and applications. A bit of boring office work sometimes—why not?

Unlike her sister, she has a more chaotic and bold personality, always trying out new things. She’s extroverted, communicative, and often quarrelsome.

She loves dressing in things that reference the '80s for some reason. Brighter colors, exaggerated accessories, a much more extravagant fashion, but adapted to modern times. She even likes to say that those who criticize '80s fashion lack a distinctive artistic sense.

She loves summer, loves organizing trips to the beach with the most important people in her life, and enjoys building sandcastles.

She drives a Beetle.

She’s a very free-spirited person and has had several flings, but no serious relationships in recent years. She’s quite happy with that, for now.

She would love to have a dog, specifically a Labrador, but unfortunately, she’s allergic to animal fur.

Out of curiosity, here is the prototype of the twins before the renovation as a bonus.

[elviraaxen]

WOOO WEEEE I REDID THEIR COLORS AND I ENJOY THEM A LOT MORE NOW

So O’Harlow’s full stage name is Heaven’s only O’Harlow but people just call him plain ol O’Harlow or even Harley🤧🤧 He’s 70’s themed! He specializes in progressive or psychedelic rock, both singing and playing his keytar (which they graciously named Keikei).

There really isn’t much about O’Harlow that makes him special, usually performing for his small fanbase. But nevertheless, he likes the closeness of him and his fans :DDDD they say it’s more “special” that way🤝🤝🤝 Their fans recognize Harley by his fancy ass ginger hair that drops to the back of his kneecaps. It’s his favorite thing about himself actually! He takes great pride in that hair🤧🤧 To make his lovely van start a-movin, he writes new songs on his keytar. Although most of his music is unreleased, he will sing a few road songs for the enjoyment of his haggle of fans🦅🦅🦅🦅RRAAAHHHHH I LOVE MAKING OCS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

They’re an interesting lil fella,,,,

Also this stupid ass doodle WNSNDNCNCN (O’Harlow is taller than thjs but I made them small for dramatic effect)

YIPPPIIIEEE!!!!! THEY LOOK SO COOL!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩

Also “I wish men existed” lmaooooo 😭

Seriously I get so excited when people love their creations and knowing I’ve been part of the inspiration process can’t be beat! 🥺🥺 Thank you so mich for showing us!!

[srarlight]

Oh boy here we go!! To put it simply, I'd like to pay rent as well as help those I care about stay housed and have already been paying a lot to try and manage to do so since early 2022.  While relief could come in July of next year, that's a lot of months to try and survive in the mean time! So I'm ready to work hard to try and get by using my limited time after and during work to the max!!

While complex paintings are far too involved for the situation I am in-  I noticed I was still able to complete painted characters and sketches in a few weeks which is why I'm opening painted and sketched characters back up to the general public!  In addition I'll also take commission for a special PMD themed YCH. A few years ago, I made a motion media project themed on PMD2. I really enjoy the end results a lot still and thought maybe some folks would enjoy their PMD OCs in this context as well! I redid the music so that it's my own mix and plan on adding in folks characters in both the temporal tower and darkrai shot. This would be for a duo so two characters and any Pokémon for the PMD ocs is welcome. I would deliver every PNG featuring your character along side the video featuring them in movement.

You can see what the end video would look like here:https://youtu.be/r88_0JXv8FQ

(characters will be included in the Dialga and Darkrai shots - which is not shown in this example) 

For now there is unlimited slots for any of these selections, although if I happen to get a lot, that may change. If you're at all interest or have questions, please reach out via DMs or by emailing me at: Srarlightart@yahoo.com.

Gonna call this que closed while I catch up! Thank you all for your support!

No NSFW- but body horror and mild gore is fine by me!

You can view my que here:https://trello.com/b/p8qTclkn/srarlight-commissions

[babymorte]

redid the phone case insert and i think i like the gray background better? i really wanna try to print this out this weekend and maybe i’ll do both gray and white but we’ll see…..i just really int want this to go to waste since i worked so freaking hard on it. dont know what i’ll do for the rest of my theme but it’ll get figured out when we get there

[eupheme]

Hey J! Stars of the Midnight Range immediately piqued my interest! What's it about? 💖

hi abby!! 💖 stars of the midnight range is based off this moodboard I shared - but I redid the plot a bit and this is the summary I’m going with! It’s going to be for a summer ghoulcy bang event (I think I am just going to share it on ao3? Feeling nervous about it, haha 😅💖) (but also excited because I have been plotting it out and I hope it will be fun!)

Fresh out of a breakup and alone after the end of a school year, Lucy is desperate for anything to fill her time… even if that means accepting a two week stay at Sugarfoot Ranch from her estranged father, themed after the actor she once admired.

Cooper Howard’s life is finally turning around, after the whirlwind of a messy divorce and the fallout of the following publicity. The only thing darkening his skies is the thought of entertaining Hank MacLean, his self-proclaimed biggest fan, for the next two weeks.

But when Hank’s daughter ends up taking his place, Cooper can’t help but wonder - is this the break he thinks it is? Or is he about to head into an even bigger storm?

teacher!lucy x rancher!cooper - no war!western!au vibes / both are a bit jaded after being hurt by loved ones but maybe they can commiserate (and more 👀) together?

wip ask game

[loveandlegacy]

For the give me a character ask: Swain, Viktor, Singed, & Mel!

hi hi friend! i love these. some of my answers might be circular bc these characters are all connected in my head but here goes.

---------------

swain

How I feel about this character - maybe this goes without saying for all the characters you gave me but i love him. before ambessa was officially a champion, swain was my favorite champion from noxus. i think he might still be, he just shares with ambessa now. he has it all. he's horrible. he's Doing Badly. he's channeling his doing badly into totally untenable and unsustainable measures of authoritarianism. he embodies both the fox and the wolf that ambessa is always talking about but this doesn't in any way improve his circumstances, it just encircles him in a state of brutality and paranoia. he made a literal faustian bargain and it's probably breaking his mind. he rebirthed the empire of noxus in the blood of patricide. he remains the pawn/lover/rival/whatever to an evil sorceress but she absolutely will outlive him. he literally has the range.

All the people I ship romantically with this character - no one really? this is going to be a running theme lmao very few of these people have real romantic attachments in my mind but....

My non-romantic OTP for this character - my non-romantic probably-bad-for-everyone-involved ships are:

viktor because it makes sense. physical mutilation? check. zealous commitment to a morally-questionable-at-best vision? check. a body that may or may not be his own? connoisseurs of physical pain and (if you go with arcane's lore) the nature of disability? check. based on the physical mutilation, do i believe that they're both super weird about extreme S&M? yeah. IT MAKES SENSE.

leblanc because nothing says 'enemies to enemies who fuck' like constantly trying to kill each other

i know people also ship him with vladimir and i think that's funny and fun, even if it's not really my thing. just the two most extra-ass guys being really fucking weird about each other. excellent.

for like nonsexual, nonromantic pairings i love:

mel, because i think she would respect him and because i think he would see her as smart and cunning and would probably actually try to peel her away from the rest of the family line because she has political acumen that could be useful to noxus where war may not solve all the problems he wants solved.

ambessa! because i think they don't like each other lmao. 100% swain thinks she's a good general, but reckless, and overly focused on her family at the cost of the empire. i think it's. noncontroversial? to say that swain is probably the reason kino died, so. yeah. things are Tough between them, and ambessa kind of has to toe the line around him because he's the grand general, but man does she hate it.

My unpopular opinion about this character - tbh i'm not even really sure what the popular opinions are about him lmao. i do know some players kind of regard him as a badass edgelord and i do like that he's an edgelord but i think more people need to embrace that in literally any other context it would be clear that this guy would get burned at the stake for being a heretic or something, like he is not doing good.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon - i remember someone saying that before the lore overhaul, swain was disabled? i wish they had kept that when they redid him. he's one of the fewer champions who's actually past middle-age without being a straight up immortal entity, and as far as i know no other league champions have any disabilities (not even viktor!!) - EDIT: i was wrong about this! i incorrectly assumed that most of the league characters from zaun with cybernetic bodies/limbs were not supposed to be read as disabled, including viktor, but i've learned that viktor's cybernetics (along with other zaun champions) are regarded more as prosthetics and that viktor among others is still subsequently still disabled even in machine herald form! that's very cool, and im grateful to the people who have spent time making this clear. i also think it would have been neat to keep swain's disability in his redesign. keeping the disability would have been interesting both from a lore standpoint (noxus reviled him when he got maimed; it would have been cool to see him become the grand general in spite of this, not because he erased it with raum) and from a game design standpoint.

---------------

viktor

How I feel about this character - he was my first favorite upon watching the show!! i think when you read through some of his lore, the writing is pretty bad/kind of dumb in a way that makes him feel incomplete, but i do resonate deeply with wanting to saw off body parts and become some kind of organo-machine cult creature. i like that for him, science, progress, faith, survival, and ambition are all bound up into one sludgy mess and that fact makes him a worse person in a lot of ways, despite his ideals.

All the people I ship romantically with this character - so i'm playing very fast and loose with the idea of 'romance' here but:

mel & jayce together specifically. like meljayvik or bust. this can be a happy, sweet dynamic or a deeply unhealthy one, i'll take it all. i just like the way the 3 of them operate together and in relation to one another, romance or no.

mel only! again, i'm like...it doesn't really have to be romance in the happy way, it can just be weirdly intense, kind of bad-for-each-other. in my head, viktor is (mostly) gay so that really adds an extra Something to all this.

My non-romantic OTP for this character - my non-romantic probably-bad-for-everyone-involved ships are:

swain. see above. i love it. the blood-soaked sadomasochism of my dreams.

SINGED. is this controversial? i feel like it is. because there's no way this is good or okay. i guess i should clarify that i'm not like "aww no it's bad but sweet" i'm like no it's just bad. singed is bad. viktor was his student/mentor/whatever. at best it's gross with a history of gross, at worst it's straight up years of abuse. it's not even a sex thing. i don't think singed is super interested in sex??? despite purportedly having a daughter. it's just like. psychological abuse, medical torment, misery, gaslighting, but also yk viktor goes back to him because viktor believes singed is the only one who can save him. they are not in love. i'm not even sure they really like each other. i think viktor is actually pretty scared of singed and even more scared of being LIKE singed. but that just makes their whole relationship a horrible gravity well because i think viktor's entire disposition as a person was partly shaped by singed and also because viktor has the same kind of quasi-devotion to investigation, understanding, and creation as singed, even if his moral compass points him in a different direction. more than scientific study, i think singed's true mentorship was teaching viktor to embrace what he 'really is' — a mutation, because mutations survive, and viktor, for better or worse, is a desperate survivor. it's dark. it's bad. i hope they kill each other. i hope we all die.

sevika!! like i said, i mostly think of viktor as gay, but i also think sevika is gay and 2 gays make something gayer, in my opinion. idk, i just think she doesn't waste time, she's very committed, and she's rough and sorta mean in a way that viktor respects? it makes sense in my head.

and finally jayce specifically not in a sexual way? lol please read for more opinions but i do actually love that they are incredibly close, that they bring out the best in each other, and that they will eventually also see the worst in each other. i think one of the reasons i dislike jayvik (besides all of them) is because it actually flattens out what i think is really complicated and upsetting about jayce & viktor's relationship? they're less tragic star-crossed lovers and more cain and abel to me; you love him so much but you hate him but he's your brother. and you save his life and he saves your life and you believe you can make the world a better place and who do you rage at when you kill him in a field? that's the energy i'm talking about.

My unpopular opinion about this character - idk that i have any unpopular opinions? i guess just the general observation that the audience tends to be very ableist in how they talk about viktor? i feel like that's not unpopular, that's just true lmao. my most UNPOPULAR opinion is that i don't like jayvik. never have never will. i do not want to see it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon - mm idk! ANOTHER EDIT: i had a more complete answer to this about viktor after surviving the bombing but a few other posts have clarified that it was pretty ableist! embarrassing on my behalf. i know at least one person reblogged this post so you can see the older answer still, and i sincerely apologize for that. i'm removing it here just so i don't leave up harmful language and i'd like to apologize for being ignorant! i will say instead that i hope in s2 viktor has to confront the ways in which he has become very similar to singed and that he finds ways through that or ways to deal with that!

---------------

singed

How I feel about this character - he's the worst guy alive and i simply wouldn't want him any other way.

All the people I ship romantically with this character - absolutely no one. i don't think romance has ever been on singed's mind, even if he notionally had a child with someone once. i don't think he's only a hater, i just think he is having his own set of emotional experiences and 'romance' is not one of them.

My non-romantic OTP for this character - this is like. a whole ass mess i apologize. i want to qualify these with the statement that i'm not even sure sex is part of the equation here, but:

viktor. see above. again, i don't think there's anything slightly romantic about this. i don't even think singed has particularly prurient interest in viktor or something. to viktor, singed is kind of scary. to singed, viktor is An Object. maybe a charming one! because he's curious and bright, but charming the way a particularly smart lab rat is charming — still not really a person. like i wouldn't say singed goes out of his way to be cruel to viktor, or even that he's cold all the time. he thinks viktor is interesting and worth his attention, but thinking someone is interesting isn't the same thing as treating them well, and singed doesn't put a high priority on the latter. whether he knows or cares if he's fucking viktor up is up for debate, but i think if viktor ever had a why did you do it moment with singed the way mel had with ambessa, singed's answer would be much less clear and satisfying than ambessa's. singed does things because the outcome seems interesting or worthwhile, no hard feelings. like you know when silco asks singed if deckard will live if he takes the shimmer and singed says "long enough"? that's kind of his whole thing with viktor lmao. you'll live long enough, i'll make sure of that. it's miserable. you get it.

ambessa kind of lmao. i don't really think they fuck (i don't think she would have ANY interest in him) but as a meeting of Terrible Equals? sure.

also idk i have this vision of him building sevika's shimmer-arm and like surgically attaching it to her while the whole burned half of his body still hasn't healed and he's like. shooting himself up with shimmer and oozing through his bandages through the whole process. not sure where to go with that one but there it is. i don't think sevika trusts him 💀

My unpopular opinion about this character - i feel like having him as a favorite character is an unpopular opinion 😭

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon - so maybe this is the real unpopular opinion, but i actually really dislike the idea that singed is doing everything he's doing in an attempt to resurrect his daugther, who might be orianna. it's a personal preference, but i think his character is weirder, sadder, and more creepy if he just has a moral compass that quite literally prioritizes progress over love and legacy — if he is trying to resurrect orianna (or rebuild her or whatever), then that really undermines that position. he is choosing love over legacy, and possibly over progress, even if he's using "progress" to justify his chemical necromancy. idk! it's just not as interesting to me. it's rare that you see figures in fiction who do shit like what singed does with absolutely no concern for personal gain or legacy, and that is one of my favorite things about him right now. and i think that arcane managed to amplify that about him without defaulting to a really cartoonish 'mad scientist' vibe. it would be a shame to lose all that! like i'll live, and i'm sure however it turns out will be compelling, i'd just personally be a little bummed.

i WILL say however that what i would absolutely accept is that he sacrificed his daughter iphigenia-style in the pursuit of some greater knowledge and he has no interest in resurrecting her at all. in fact, if they want to stick with the lore of orianna being powered by hextech, it could be the case that someone else finds and revives her body (i do believe singed is in the habit of keeping dead bodies just. around) with a hextech crystal (or a hexcore 👀), but that singed himself had no intention of bringing her back from the dead and that his mournfulness is more over the fact that he did love her and he was sad to kill her for whatever his bigger project is, but as they say: the mutation must survive

---------------

mel

How I feel about this character - i love her!! i started out fairly disinterested in her because i was so mad at jayce for my first few watch-throughs that i was like. baffled by the fact that she fell in love with him, but i have grown as a person. she's one of my favorite characters, she's heartbroken, she's smart, she's wonderful, and most importantly??? she's alive

All the people I ship romantically with this character - FINALLY I HAVE AN ANSWER

jayce!!! i have come around to loving his character also, and i think their relationship is really sweet. i do think he knows she's out of his league and is happy to be hers. i also like that she has one good thing in a world of cynics and warmongers, and that they find idealism and safety in one another.

jayce & viktor in a meljayvik way. i've said it already but i really love their triad dynamic.

or just viktor. i think mel and viktor are intellectual equals with different strategies about life, different approaches to their own ambition, different insecurities, and different dispositions towards cruelty and selfishness on their worst days. whether their thing is sexual or not, it's always interesting to me because i think they mirror each other in so many ways, and they have known each other for a long time, and they're both outsiders to piltover, and their Thing can be good or gruesome depending on how you want to spin it. it also doesn't have to be romantic at all? i think these things all play just as well if they're like...super fucked up friends, or just codependent co-conspirators. lots to think about.

My non-romantic OTP for this character - here we go:

sevika! this could be a sexual thing or a nonsexual thing, i think there's a kind of almost-enemies tension there that makes them compelling regardless of whether or not they fuck. also i think sevika could go toe to toe with mel in a verbal sparring match and they'd both have a good time in a mean way. i think, unlike most people, mel wouldn't be particularly intimidated by sevika? she's from noxus, she has seen quite a lot — sevika is gruff and mean, but not particularly scary as far as mel's concerned. and i actually think the fact that mel doesn't cringe away from the really brutal parts of life would make sevika respect her in a certain sense. idk! i just think there's a lot of interesting potential there and they Compel me. honorable mention here also goes to mel/sevika/viktor as a thing because i think it would be fucked up and sad and weird and i like that.

ambessa lmao. not in an incest way, just like. "man your mom really fucks you up like no one else" kind of way. mel has to work so hard to find her sense of self, to believe what she believes, and even with all that she still has literal nightmares about her mother. woof dude. it's bleak. i could think and talk about all the horrible things ambessa probably did to her daughter in the name of "teaching her better" for days.

caitlyn!! i actually think if cait and mel had met in alllllmost any other circumstance, they would be friends? solidarity in the "man i hate my mom" club, solidarity in being daughters raised in the upper echelons of society and not wanting to fill their respective social roles, solidarity in wanting to pick apart, understand, and scrutinize the world around them. there's also the opportunity for a kind of weird mentor-mentee codependent tension there too if you want it; like mel HAS seen a lot of the world, and cait hasn't. mel has way more finesse and political savvy, cait tends to just come at everything headlong without thinking the whole plan through first. mel's just enough older than cait that she could feasibly take caitlyn 'under her wing' to mold her like the figurative queen she talked about with her mother when she was young. like with most things, i think their relationship could be very sweet, or incredibly dark, depending on how you want to spin it. but i love the idea of them together, i think there's a lot of opportunity for interesting stuff to happen.

My unpopular opinion about this character - ok i sincerely think it is insane when people say mel slept with jayce to manipulate him or that she's only interested in manipulating him. even when i wasn't wild about their relationship, my issue was that she DID fall in love with him and wasn't manipulating him enough lmao like. i'm a meljay enthusiast now, but even before i was, i thought there was no way it could possibly have been clearer that she had feelings for him that continued to grow over the course of the story. it's literally IN THEIR COSTUME DESIGN. get a grip everyone.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon - i mean i would say i "wish" she lives but i am arrogant in my assessment that there's no question that she's alive in s2. even before all the storyboard proof, like. all you have to do is think about story structure. she's alive. so with that said, i hope she ends up in the undercity!! i want to see what she's like when she's in a totally unfamiliar environment where she has no built-in influence. i actually think she'll handle it very well, but i want to see how she does it. i also hope we get to see her have more 1:1 interactions with viktor!

[imustbenuts]

@a-waste-of-time-and-hot-glue hi and sure!

so while i dont think this is super likely for reasons after thinking about it, shintoism in trigun is... already kinda there. kinda.

in the japanese creation myth, ie, shinto, there originally was a primordial soup/void. from that void emerged 7 gods, and then came the twin gods, izanagi and izanami.

izanagi is the male god and izanami is the female god. with a spear they churned the waters below them and pop came the island archipelago of japan.

eventually they decided to have children (yes.), after realizing their bodies were different and together had the ability to procreate. they had a whole ritual, wherein izanami the goddess spoke first, and then they did the do and had a child known as Hiruko (Leech Child). but this child came out deformed, and so was cast out on a boat of reeds. (that child later becomes a lucky god named Ebisu)

they eventually concluded that the reason for the deformed child was bc izanami spoke first, so they redid the ritual, and now boom, more islands making up more of japan. and then suddenly, izanami was carrying a child named Kagatsuchi.

problem: Kagatsuchi is a fire god. this ends up killing izanami during childbirth and she descends into Yomi, which u can think of as a dark hell. (this also causes her to create more smaller islands in the process)

izanagi in his grief decides to 1) decapitate kagatsuchi, and 2) go down to Yomi to fetch his wife back (yes). but finds out izanami had already eaten the food of Yomi and was therefore bound to the underworld. they get into a titzy and eventually izanagi convinces his wife to negotiate with the gods down there for some kinda deal.

while doing so, izanagi loses his patience and then strikes a light, illuminating the dark as hell Yomi only to see the maggot infested moving corpse of his wife. in her rage she then curses for 1000 lives to be killed a day, and in return izanagi pledges for 1500 lives to be born a day.

he then spawns more gods after wiping his snots and one of them becomes amateratsu, the sun goddess. she then later has a child who becomes the first emperor of japan, named Emperor Jimmu

all of that said to summarize what i think are elements thats already present in tristamp to some extent then:

the primordial soup/chaos being space

the gods before izanagi and izanami being other possible independent plants including tesla

izanagi and izanami being knives and vash respectively

the children now being in those pregnant plants in ep 11

bc vash is independent and taking the role of izanami who should have submitted (yay patriarchy) but didnt, the ritual is a complete toss up

kind of

he then creates a cube baby of absolute destruction (kagatsuchi almost), goes downwards and self destructs as if descending into hell

and the main reason why i dont think tristamp is ever going to frame itself as a shinto story is bc... shinto is inherently conservative and betrays the egalitarian themes thats core to the spirit of trigun. and in a fucking nasty way.

theres elements of patriarchy, the idea of a 'pure blood' or a 'pure race', and a heavenly emperor.

to make it even more insidious, shinto was once used during ww2 as a rhetoric for japanese fascism. Reveal The Emperor, Expel The Barbarians was a strong rhetoric, and this eventually got young men to join the army to then commit fucking awful shit in the rest of asia. think genocide. all this while america and europe were fighting against the nazis.

this then later results in 2 atomic bombs dropping on japan.

theres a reason why the nazis and japan formed an alliance back then. they thought of themselves both as the superior race.

[itwasanangryinch]

Redid my mobile theme to be something less boring and more currently accurate. Getting ready for an art blog launch and a theme redo here.

The current desktop theme is a piece of art I did ten years ago over top of a bunch of little photos of David Bowie because it was both thematically relevant to the Hedwig and to myself. The next one will likely be IWTV themed or Justified, but it'll get drawn after the blog launch.

And is there a preferred site for you to buy fan art on? Please drop sites in the replies.

I've been trying to collect/collate the current popular ones but I don't know what the user experience for either the artists or the buyers are on any of them yet.

EDIT: Since pins seem to be dominating, please vote in this poll to specify which type of pin you're interested in.

[wannabepapa]

Sure. Gonna give you another fluffy scene cause I’m enjoying it too.

You’re due in two weeks now and stubbornly trying to clean the nursery room one last time even though it’s spotless already. You fold the onesies again and again, make sure we have enough supplements for a few weeks and vacuum every little corner, scared that the dust is gonna make the twins sick.

You’ve been here since early in the morning when I left to work and it’s past lunch time already. When I come home, I find you sleeping on the rocking chair with your arms wrapped around your swollen middle and a parenting book on your chest. I put it away and quietly take a picture of you, the pregnancy glow making you cuter than ever. Then I cover you with a blanket, quietly folding the rest of the clothes that you were too tired to do.

You may think everything is clean but there is something wrong. I don't know what it is but there is something in here that isn't right. I've already dusted, vacuumed, folded laundry, and made the bed for the cribs so there shouldn't be anything amiss. When you left this morning and I kissed you goodbye I went back to the room to figure out what was wrong. The room looked like an explosion for two hours before I redid everything to look nicer. My nesting brain was sated for now that the bedding was the cute space theme for both babies and all their clothes were put in order by color so I could finally sit down and rest. There was still a pile that needed to be put away but that could wait. The twins had been active for the better part of the clean up but they too were exhausted from all the jostling from their papa. When I sat down in the rocking chair I never expected to fall asleep. It was so comfortable and soft how could I not?

I don't hear you coming in or feel the blanket being put over me. It's hours later after you're likely back to work when I wake up by the sudden need to pee. I don't notice the blanket until it's slipping off my body. I look around to see the clothes gone and my heart explodes with love. I quickly waddle to the bathroom, sending a text to you once I'm finished to thank you for the blanket and putting everything else away. hopefully when you come home you can help me clean up the rest of the house because working on the nursery for the second day in a row has made me super fatigued

[vanderlindepounder]

What are some art or artists that have inspired you?

this is such an interesting question . since as of recent i have been thinking about relearning how to draw and change up my style . i feel very stagnant as of late (and since i really wanna start posting to tumblr a lot more and want to begin drawing mine and other people's characters !!!! i feel like learning Again would be a fantastic start)

(also, being in a stagnant state of art, i'm in a REALLY stiff pose, flat and lifeless colouring style - sorta position, i feel like i could really break out of that if i just KEEP on drawing and KEEP on looking at references and KEEP ON developing everything im doing)

As of now, I've been looking at the Homestuck^2 style, i'm so in love with the roundness and how simplistic everything is and how fun and fluid everything is

@/doeiika is also a massive inspiration, i realize how much of their Pizza Tower fanart i've seen and ive fallen in love with it all again

Disco Elysium was a massive changer when it came to how I draw . i redid Kim Kitsuragi's portrait ages ago and it forever revolutionized how i colour each piece of art . however that spark is slowly making its way out and i've been thinking a lot of transitioning to a sort of cel-shaded theme for most pieces . I think (i used to cel-shade but i'm not too sure . That's what transitional periods are for!)

team fortress Two was one of the biggest turning points for how i draw and design characters, it was one of my biggest hyperfixations back in the day (i have 2k hours clocked in and i haven't touched it since), one of the best pieces i ever did was back in 2020 and it still gets plenty of love today . it made me realize how fun it is to use super geometric shapes

YOU are also really up there . yours and cupid's ocs (I LOVE YOU MOONE) are one of the main reasons why im getting back into both drawing AND WRITING !!

@/nxbellion on Instagram was massive during my eddsworld phase (BACK IN .. 2020) .

Ponytown as well ?? I used to be MASSIVE on there and the way how i used to colour my ponies forever changed how i colour things now, mostly with the excessive use of highlights on literally EVERY piece . i think a lot about how i could utilize this later on (or maybe turn it down :( )

A further shortlist includes Darkest Dungeon (Video Game) @/jamisonrivv the whole soyjack ordeal (against my will) @/senkkei Red Dead Redemption (ALL MOTIVATION BABYYY) Don't Starve