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damn-stark · 4 years

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Crossed Stars Ch.5

A/N— I was thinking about how if you guys want to do some aesthetic boards based on reader and her boys, like a Poe x reader and a Steve x reader aesthetic boards! I would post them on the Masterlist and obviously reblog or post on my page!

Warning- swearing, violence, angst, slow burn, loong chapter! Rollercoster of emotions!!

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Takes place- after Infinity war & after TROS

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

Poe quietly watched as Steve and you talked in the distance, a smile on your face much like Steve’s, accompanied by a soft look, one Poe knew well, a look that hurt him. He never knew why you hated him, you were once best friends and then one day out of nowhere you just couldn’t stand the sight of him. He could’ve asked, it was that easy but he was stubborn and a proud man, and well you were as stubborn as him so he never did and let it pass. A choice he always regretted.

He let out a deep sigh and turned to Natasha who was walking his way. She glanced over to what he was previously looking at, and that said everything to her, she shared a slow nod and a half smile, actions Poe didn’t understand, but soon was.

“How long have you been in love with her?”

Poe’s snickered as he shook his head in denial, soon stammering with his answer, “I’m not...in love with her.”

Natasha scoffed, she wasn’t one to be fooled, she knew how to read people and Poe was one of them, he wasn’t hard to read at all. “Don’t lie to me. I know.”

Poe turned back to look at you, his frown replacing the straight line he tried to carry. He wanted to lie again, but it was stupid to do so, he needed to tell someone.

He inhaled deeply as he kept his gaze fixated on you, “since the day I met her.”

—

You quietly admired the fighters that flew off the hanger from the halls of the place you were going to call home now (A huge step up from Tatooine that was for sure) Thinking to yourself that one day that was going to be you. You were manifesting that into the universe. Soon you were going to be one of those pilots. Soon.

“First day here?” A voice asked, causing your shoulders to jump, not expecting anyone to talk to you. You spun to face the voice, instantly seeing an amusing and at the same time an apologetic smile on the mans face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His eyes showed the same smile he showed on his lips; only his eyes also showed a warmness to them, something that went with the brown of his eyes.

You showed a nervous smile, not knowing how to respond to the charming man in front of you, “it’s okay. Really.” You quickly shared before answering his previous question, “and yes it’s my first day here, is it yours?”

The man kept his gaze locked on yours, seeming as if he was reading into you, just really studying every inch of your face, something that you couldn’t help but feel shy about. He took a moment to answer, but did it nonetheless, this time talking with a bit more of a hidden cockiness in his tone. “Yeah same here.”

“Is it that obvious? Do I really look that lost?” You said, unsure and unaware with the boost of confidence and comfort you felt with this man.

He chuckled, a gesture that made you smile before he answered, “no not lost. Just...how can I explain this, uhh, wide eyed, you look amazed, just really taken by this place.”

“Well I am from Tatooine, there is nothing to see there but sand...and more sand. This place is a complete change of scenery.” You explained.

He nodded in comprehension before asking something else, “what made you join the republic defense fleet out of all things?”

You shook your head while briefly glancing back to the busy hanger in the distance, “you’re going to think it’s a cliche so I won’t respond that.”

“I won’t judge, so please answer.”

“Anakin Skywalker. He inspired me.” You begin with a grin, “I just mean, being from Tatooine I grew up with stories about him and Luke Skywalker, both born and raised there. The more I heard and heard the same stories, the more I realized that we both shared similar childhoods, albeit not compeletly the same but there’s similarities. And after realizing that, they both really became my hero’s, both great pilots that came from nothing, they became famous war hero’s from Tatooine. They got out of there and I wanted to do the same, of being the same.”

You look back to the curly headed man and immediately apologize for rambling on and boring him, “I’m sorry I rambled. I didn’t mean to bore you.”

He remained quiet for a couple seconds, a soft look on his features and a small smile on his lips, he had to blink a couple times to break from his stupor and quickly come up with an answer, “no, no I’m not bored. It was a great. Better than my own reason.” You quirked your eyebrow and before you could ask for his reason he introduced himself with a charming grin, “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.” You smiled.

—

“We’re here. This is Tatooine.” You beamed as you practically hopped off your seat to rush to the opening ramp. Not missing Rockets remark to the dry planet.

“This? It’s just a piece of hot rock and sand!”

You roll your eyes and ignore his remark, exiting the the hanger quietly while Steve fell to your side. You looked to him with a smile, grabbing his hand to take him to finally see the ever so anticipated binary suns. “Its not a sunset, but we’ll see that soon. For now though this is Tatooine.” Steve had the same amazed reaction he showed when he saw the flying colors of hyperspace, wide-eyed and amazed by the beauty of space. A world he never knew existed.

“You better hurry before we miss your friend,” Dameron interrupted as he walked past Steve and you.

You scoffed and let go of Steve’s hand, walking ahead to lead the way to the only place where you knew he might be, the tavern. A place where their were all types of people, a lot of them looking for a job to take or a bounty to hunt. Their was the occasional traveler, tourist that just came and went with no trouble. Jaro was, well he was in between.

When you entered the well known tavern like in many of the other places it was quiet, albeit this place had more people than the last. You looked around, but didn’t spot the familiar red headed man you knew, you didn’t give up though, you walked to the bar and ordered drinks before asking the bartender what it was you were looking for. Ignoring the looks and comments sentients shot all of you, especially to Nebula who stood silently at the end of the group, shooting glares to the men that tried to approach her.

“Has Jaro Kestis been around recently?”

The bartender looked at you up and down, leaning on the counter while extending his hand, gesturing what he needed to talk. You scoffed but took out credits nonetheless, handing it to him to finally make him talk.

“The kid has been around, today in fact, he should be back if he knows what’s good for him.” And with that, the sentient turned to attend someone else.

“Let’s wait.” You don’t wait for an answer and instead take a seat in a nearby booth, not being able to stop your leg from anxiously bouncing up and down. Only distracting yourself with the drinks that came to your table. You grabbed the blue moof milk and pushed it towards Steve, “try it.”

He looked at the drink and questioned it, “is it supposed to be blue?”

“Yes.” You interject.

He lifts the drink and takes a small sip, his nose instantly scrunching at the taste on his tongue. When he puts the drink down he feigns a smile and fakes a response, “it’s...good.”

You chuckle softly and take the drink from him. “It’s okay, it’s not for everyone.” You push it towards Natasha and just before you could tell her to taste it, theirs loud commotion from one of the booths behind you, before anyone could ask, Rocket is running to your booth, a new bag hanging around his shoulder and carrying a metal hand...that wasn’t his.

“Rocket?! What did you do?!” Nebula exclaimed.

“We better go.” He urged.

You began to protest his comment, knowing that whatever he was doing was ruining your plans, “we have to wait for Jaro. We can’t leave.”

Before anyone could respond, the same sentients Rocket was arguing with stomped towards you with blasters in hand, “this triangle face monkey stole from us—”

“It was a fair game! I won it fair and square.” Rocket shot back, refusing to let go of the metal arm.

“Rocket.” Nebula hissed.

“We want no trouble. Our friend will return your...arm and we’ll get going.” Steve tried to defend, but the sentients didn’t want to listen, forcing you all to pull out your weapons too.

One of them glared at you, aiming his weapon on your forehead, “we can take all three women. And consider it forgotten.” He smirked.

You show a smug smile and slowly lower your blaster to his crotch, shooting him burning glare, and just before Dameron or Steve could do anything, or before the ugly sentient could say anything else, someone new spoke up.

“Wow, wow hey. No need for violence, let’s break it up.” You look over to the voice noticing who it was. Jaro. He walks up to you and takes the blaster from your hand, pushing the sentient threatening you back. “It’s okay these are,” he looks to the group you’re with and notices the new faces traveling with you, “my...friends.”

The sentients say something to him in their native tongue, something he responds to before they hesitantly leave the area you were in. Jaro turns back to you, his eyes searching for someone missing in the crowd, “where’s your brunette friend?”

You frown knowing exactly who he was referring to, “Rey is gone. We’re actually here to talk about that, you’re the only person I know with the connection to the force, we need you.”

“Hmm,” his little droid climbs to his shoulder as he runs his fingers through his red hair, “why me?”

As quick as you could, you explain why you needed him, that and the only reason being that he could contact force ghosts, the only people you knew would have answers. You knew little of how he could do something like that, Rey had explained a lot about it...but it was all confusing that you only grasped a small part of it.

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that sooner.” He exclaims with a grin, “not here though, let’s go to my ship.”

—

You bite your bottom lip before as you pace back and forth impatiently, waiting for the anticipated answer that Jaro was going to provide on how to bring everyone back. The silence and the tension that was built inside was eating you up inside, no one spoke, they all nervously waited, some showing more hidden emotions than others.

The feeling of not knowing if he had found something was just tearing you apart, you just couldn’t take it. You were going to go crazy.

So instead you quickly exit the ship, inhaling and exhaling deeply as if being inside had been cutting off your oxygen. Being in there in fact had kept you distracted from what you wanted to see. The sunset. Now that you saw it though, the excitement from before was gone.

“It is beautiful, you were right,” you suddenly heard Steve muse, his eyes glued to the soft pink, orange and purple colors painted in the sky.

You sigh, briefly looking at the sunset before looking at Steve, noticing the soft colors basking his face in a gentle way, the colors reflecting in his eyes in a beautiful way.

“I would work all day under the burning suns, it was tiring especially when I was younger. The older I got the more I got used to the work I was forced to do,” You explained, his eyes turning to focus on you, “and everyday it was the same, no matter how old I got. The only thing the got me through the days were thinking of seeing this view. Everyday I would look forward to seeing this because it meant that I was done with the day and I got to enjoy the few hours of freedom.”

Telling your story that few people knew, was a way to distract yourself from the answer that was soon going to be known, it distracted you from the anxiety you felt inside.

“Your parents were hard on you.”

You shake your head in disagreement, “I never got to meet my parents. They died when I was very young.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve mumbled.

“It’s okay,” You assure him, “I tell myself that if I didn’t go through what I went through I wouldn’t be who I am, or be where I am today. A slave turned General.”

Steve frowned slightly at what you said, not really knowing how to respond at first. Not until he finally had the right words to say. “Many people with your background would have gone down a different path, making excuses that it was because what they went through, but not you.” He showed a reassuring smile, walking closer towards you, “I know I barely know you, but I see that you’re strong and don’t take anything from anyone. You’re determined and independent, I admire that.”

You smile sweetly at his comment, feeling your cheeks heat up—But that could totally be because of the heat from the lowering suns, or how close he suddenly was; “thank you.” You say in an unwanted whisper.

He looks down at you and you both stay quiet, nothing else spoken and hearing each other’s light breathing, something that slowly picked up. His eyes only left yours to travel further down to your lips, a movement you soon copied, neither of you making the first move to close that small gap left between you two. You were kind of waiting for him to do it, but he wasn’t doing anything, so instead you captured his lips in a sweet kiss.

The action caught him by surprise, but he soon got over it to kiss you back. You followed by bringing your hand up to cup his cheek, deepening the kiss slightly before you both pulled away. The both of you smiled after and before either of you could express anything about what had just happened—which you didn’t even know exactly, it was different, it felt different compared to other moments you’ve shared with...different people. It was sweet though, that you couldn’t deny, he was sweet.

Dameron appeared on the ramp, “Jaro is back.” He announced dryly, not waiting for an answer to disappear back into the ship.

Steve and you didn’t hesitate to head back inside, your nerves presenting themselves again, and only worsening when you came face to face with Jaro.

The ginger looked to the floor with a frown, making your heart race and tears pool your eyes.

“I talked with the past Jedi Master’s and...” he looked back to all of you, noticing the anticipation and hope in all of your faces, his frown deepening at the sight.

“What did they say.” Natasha interjected what you all were thinking.

Jaro hesitated, swallowing thickly before he answered, “theirs nothing we can do,” he paused briefly, “but accept fate.”

You had failed. You had fucking failed.

A single tear slipped down your cheek, but you didn’t let anymore roll down, and instead tried to hold in every emotion, even if all you could hear repeating in your head were the words Jaro said. They didn’t let you hear anything else said around you, everything just tuned out and time passed slowly and you moved without knowing that you were. Nothing registered in your head but the thought of you failing.

It wasn’t until you were outside once again that you returned back to the failed reality you lived in, hearing the commotion coming from your group.

“What the hell did you do Rocket?” Nebula stressed.

Rocket shrugged innocently, but as he did, Artoo pulled out multiple items from his bag. All high value items, weapons and gadgets used by scoundrels, and lastly a small locked box.

“Thank you a lot tin-can.” Rocket seethed.

“Just give it back.” You urged.

“It doesn’t look like they want to avoid trouble. We better hurry back to the ship.” Natasha exclaimed.

Just like she said, you all hastily made your way back to the Falcon, now avoiding incoming blasts.

“Shit.” You cursed whilst pulling out your blaster and shooting back; “we’re not getting anywhere on foot we need—”

“Speeders!” Dameron pointed, leading the way and stealing the speeders to attempt your escape.

Steve, Rocket, Artoo and you got on one, while Dameron, Natasha, Nebula and BB8 got on a separate one. The owners protested against your actions, but you ignored them, Steve though...well he apologized.

“You!” You directed to Rocket, “drive the speeder, I’m going to get rid of these shits.” Rocket didn’t hesitate to take the wheel before you rushed towards the end of the speeder, pulling out your blaster and throwing one to Steve, “I don’t think your shields or your fists are going to work for this one,” you joked before pulling out a hidden one for yourself.

Blasts kept firing at you and at the group a couple feet behind you, blasts that you avoided and returned with equal fury. A smile made it on your lips as you successfully shot one of the thugs shooting at you, but you’re celebration was cut off as another set of thugs appeared from out of nowhere and joined the fight, slamming into your speeder and shooting your blaster out of your hand.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Your eyes frantically searched the speeder for anything you could use as a weapon, but their was nothing on here but crates.

“Take this one.” Steve suggested, trying to hand you back your blaster, but you declined it.

“No you need it, I’ll find—” Artoo ended your search when he handed you gadgets from Rockets stolen bag. You smiled at your little companion, shouting a compliment for his fast thinking, “what would I do without you?” Quickly you activated the gadgets and threw it under one of thugs shooting at you.

At first you weren’t sure it was going to do anything but soon the thug disintegrated in front of your eyes. “Uh. Okay. That happened.” The thugs at your side shot at you again, this time with more anger. Artoo handed you another one and again you threw it to the thugs speeder. One of them tried to climb on your speeder, but before he could, you kicked him back with your boot, and seconds later instead of disintegrating like his companion the speeder blew up in tiny pieces.

A proud smile made it on your slips and while you spun back to face the remaining thugs, a blast hit your shoulder at the same time, the impact causing you to fall off the speeder. You groaned in pain as you rolled on the ground, feeling the sand burn your exposed skin until you finally came to a stop. You lifted the upper half of your body to search for any weapon or just anything you could use, but only disappointed yourself when you saw nothing but...sand.

At the sound of the thugs approaching you at a quick speed, you strained to get to your feet, standing your ground even without weapons in your hands. Wiping blood off your bottom lip with your hand, and shooting them a burning glare that showed them you weren’t scared. A stupid idea really, but you’ve faced worse and they didn’t make the list of people that scared you.

Before they could attempt to hit you, you were tackled to the ground. Once again burning your skin and hitting your wound as you rolled on the sand, coming to a stop with a groan and noticing that Dameron was the one that had pushed you out of the way, hovering above you, one hand on the ground at the side of your head looking down at you with a narrowed gaze.

“I’ve seen you do stupid things throughout the years I’ve known you, and this is one of them.”

“I can say the same thing for you.” You groaned, registering the sharp burning pain on your wound now.

Dameron stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes examining your body for other wounds beside the obvious one on your shoulder. “You know,” he began smugly, not being able to finish what he was going to say as you fully realized—more like finally decided to acknowledge that he was still on top of you.

“Get. Off. Me.” You hissed, shooting him a glare.

He did, but not without adding a stupid remark. “Oh, you’re very welcome for saving you sweetheart.” He tried to offer his hand to help you up but you ignored it and pushed yourself off your feet instead. You looked back up to see that all the thugs were all gone now, only seeing as Steve and the rest of the group came back for Dameron and you.

From the corner of your eye you looked to Dameron and whispered your response, “thank you.”

He smiled, but that smile soon disappeared as Steve came to your side, expressing the worry Poe also felt, but didn’t express because Steve interrupted him.

“Are you okay?”

You managed a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes before you assured Steve, “I’ve been through worse, I’ll be okay. Let’s head back to the Falcon.”

—

After returning to the Falcon you kept to yourself, assuring everyone that you were really fine, because you were...for the most part. It was all just hard, dealing with what you heard was hard, you didn’t even want to think about it because when you did all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. You couldn’t just simply accept the fact that you had lost, so for a moment while you patched your wounds you solely focused on that and nothing else.

“Stupid shit.” You curse under your breath while trying to put bacta on your blaster wound, which was incredibly hard doing so alone. “Shit,” You groan, before dropping the bacta on the ground when you heard the loud knock on the door. “I’m okay Steve. Really!” You shout over your shoulder as you drop to the ground to pick the bacta.

The door slides open and just as you were going to assure Steve you noticed that it was someone else completely, “Dameron.”

His eyes fall to your wound and then dropped to see what you were doing, following your every movement until you stood back up and kept trying to patch yourself up. Again.

“You need help?” He asked, walking up to you regardless of your answer.

“No.” You strained and lied, “You can leave.”

Dameron rolled his eyes at your stubborn response and turned to walk away, without a response or another attempt to help. Because after all you had your....“boyfriend” Steve to help you instead. You didn’t need him when you had Steve—well Poe didn’t know if you and Steve were dating, he had seen the kiss but he never asked, only guessed.

However the case was though, it didn’t matter, you preferred Steve, you liked Steve. As much as that thought hurt Poe, he needed to accept that you and him...well it was never going to happen. He just needed to let you go.

But he couldn’t. He just fucking couldn’t. So he swallowed his pride and marched back into that room, snatching the bacta from your hand even against your protests and annoyed scoff.

Neither of you said anything for a moment, sitting in silence and letting Dameron patch you up. You didn’t groan, whine or squirm around every time he touched your wound. After all you were used to the pain, years of fighting a war how could you not?

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dameron asked as he walked around you to grab the gauze from the counter.

You knew exactly what he was referring to and the answer was a blunt, “no.”

He sighed, debating if he should discuss what the both of you had heard, knowing that it was a conversation you both needed and something he wanted to let you talk about, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say anything on the regard if you weren’t ready. So instead he choose to leave that as it was and continued to wrap your wound.

When he moved to stand in front of you, you tried to ignore how close he actually was. Tried your best to avoid looking up at him, tried to ignore the feeling of his warm breaths that came out of his nose hit your own. Unknowingly swearing that if you really focused you would hear his heart beat in his chest, you tried to avoid focusing on the exposed tan skin that his slightly unbuttoned shirt showed, the way his sliver chain seemed to shine around his neck.

But nonetheless as much as you did try, your eyes ended up on his face, noticing that the clean face he once had was now covered in dark stubble. “You’re growing your beard?”

Dameron smirked, his eyes meeting your own, “You like it?”

You swallowed thickly and avoided eye contact, “I—I”

He chuckled lightly, pulling up your tanks strap, his hand lingering on your exposed shoulder for a moment before he shoved his hands in his pockets, staying still in front of you even after he was finished, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Take it however you like,” you remarked, “just know it makes you seem old.”

“We are old sweetheart.”

“You maybe,” you teased, “not me.”

He let out an amused huff of air, your gaze once again locking with his for brief moment before you pulled yours away; in that moment Poe wanted to talk about Steve and you, to just really clear the air, but as he parted his lips to do so, he couldn’t. Instead he decided that it was best to accept fate. Or whatever the fuck Jaro said. Even if Poe didn’t want to.

“Do you need help?” You asked in almost a whisper, “I just mean you must’ve gotten your skin burnt when we fell.”

“No,” he assured you with a smile, “it was just a couple scratches, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Sure, you weren’t.”

Finally after a long moment of neither of you moving from where you were, you came to your full senses and pushed him out of the way to walk out of the room, and before you could walk out he spoke up.

“What happened?”

You stopped by the door and looked over your shoulder, quirking your eyebrow at his question, a gesture that made him continue.

“With us? I just mean we were once best friends...maybe something more, and you just out of nowhere started hating me. Why?”

Way to ruin the mood.

You sighed and fully turned around to face him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He scoffed and shook his head, slowly making his way to you. “You always say that. Why don’t you just give me a clear answer? What did I do?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You try to walk away but he’s quick and grabs your arm, turning you to face him to see that he was serious.

“Just tell me. I...just tell me.”

Your eyes began to water and you did want to explain why. Why it was that you began to hate him, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to explain, not when you still hadn’t talked about the other thing. Not when you knew that you would break down in front of him.

“Leave me alone.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and sped away, letting him just watch your quick retreating figure. He would’ve followed, he really would’ve, but he didn’t feel like arguing with you.

Even if he really should have pressed further. He should have talked to you.

—

“A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery and sacrifice.”

You quietly walked down the path of the museum, watching in admiration every story, photo, and paintings that decorated the walls of the museum. Some place you had wondered to in your attempt to clear your mind. You just walked and walked, getting onto a train and then walking some more. Avoiding the loud protest in the streets, all of them about the hero’s you were staying with.

All you needed and wanted to do was just clear your mind on what had recently happened, your kiss with Steve, the talk that Dameron wanted to have and the knowledge that you had failed. It all just flooded your mind. You just needed to be alone for a moment. Even if you knew that everything was just waiting to overflow. It was all just going to break eventually. Sooner or later you were going to have to face the problems.

In moments like these though is when you missed General Organa and Rey, they always helped you, always seemed to have an answer for everything. Especially General Organa.

“Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American Warfare. One that would transform him into the worlds first super solider.”

You stood grounded for a minute, watching the transformation that Steve went through. Coming to realization that apparently in earth years he was one hundred years old, but he didn’t age because of ice and a serum?

Weird...and yet something that didn’t bug you or make you see him any different. He was just a man. No serum changed that.

He was a great man, he was a gentlemen and nicer than other men you knew and others that you’ve dated.

Perhaps. Maybe something more can happen between the both of you. The kiss proved that and well you wouldn’t be against it....would you?

Their was also that other person that you couldn’t stop thinking about. And he. Well he...was different.

Fucking stars. Why couldn’t this all be easy?

You ran your hand through your hair and let out a exhausted sigh, making your way out of the museum and slowly starting your path back to the compound, knowing that they should be wondering where you were. You had left without saying anything, mostly because you didn’t want to talk.

While trying to make your way back though you noticed someone was following you. Their face was hidden behind a creepy green mask and they had a black hood on. Something that matched the protesters from before.

Ignoring the strange figure you proceeded to walk faster, heading back to the train station from before. In the moment the station came to view, two more had randomly appeared, one sporting a red mask and the other one with a mask of a man with golden hair.

You reached for your blaster, but came out empty handed, realizing that you had left back it in your room. “Fuck.” Quickening your pace you slightly look over your shoulder seeing them still on your heels. When you looked forward again their was someone now in front of you with a mask of...Captain America. Without stopping to talk, you tried to walk past the stranger, but you were suddenly grabbed by the men behind you.

You kicked your feet and struggled, tried to scream out, but suddenly one of them behind you slapped their hand on your mouth, slapping a wet cloth on your nose. It carried a weird smell, and the more you tried to fight their hold, the weaker you began to feel, the once clear view was blurred and everything began to spin. Your fight became nothing and your eyes were slowly dropping until...

....Nothing.

A/N- Team Rogers? Or Team Dameron?

Tagged- @itsbuckyb1tch, @kaitlynw011 , @blushingwueen , @80sthottie, @thescarletknight2014 , @bbuckysbeardd , @ellvswriting , @sakurashortstack , @whatthefrickfrackwereyouthinking, @danicalifxrnia , @lanatheawesome , @perryoncw , @panic-onthegroundsofbrooklyn , @abysshaven , @valeecruz16 , @gummy-bears16 , @winchescumberholland , @a-somehow-functioning-dumbass , @randomhanabananas , @just-a-sad-chicken-nugget-xxx

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care , @commondazy

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kenzie-simcox · 8 years

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100 questions

p: 1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? * Margaret, I have mixed feelings about it 2. are you artistic? * Not really, but I love art 3. Have you had your first kiss? * Yes 4. What is your life goal? * To be truly happy 5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? * Yes. I've been to multiple meet and greets. They were all so amazing. 6. Do you play any sports? * Softball 7. What's your worst fear? * Falling. I can't do heights at all if I don't feel secure. 8. Who's your biggest inspiration? * My mom. 9. Do you have any cool talents? * I don't think so 10. are you a morning person? * Hell no. I feel so shitty in the morning even if I wake up at 11. 11. How do you feel about pet names? * They're cute. I'm sort of obsessed with them tbh 12. Do you like to read? * Yes yes 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. * Teen Wolf, forever and always my favorite show and has taken over my life. * Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf honestly is a great woman power figure and anything with Blake Lively makes me happy. 14. Do you care about your follower count? * No. I just like having Tumblr 15. What's the best dream you've had? * I don't remember my dreams 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? * No 17. Do you have any pets? * 1 dog named Maggie. And two bunnies, Jack and Rose 18. Are you religious? * No 19. Are you a people person? * Not really 20. Are you considered popular? * I don't do labels 21. What is one of your bad habits? * Not caring about what happens 22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable * Almost everything 23. What would you name your children? * I don't like kids so I don't plan on having children, but if I did girl would be Blake or Kendall and the boy would be Cameron or Nathaniel 24. Who's your celebrity crush? * Sebastian Stan and Harry Styles 25. What's your best subject? * English 26. Dogs or cats? * Dogs 27. most used social media besides tumblr? * Instagram hands down 28. best friends name * I don't label people as my best friend, but my closest friends name is Noelle 29. who does your main family consist of * Me and my mom 30. Chocolate or sugar * Neither 31. have you ever been on a date? * Double 32. Do you like rollercosters? * Yes as long as I feel secure in it and I do research to see if anything horrible has happened on it 33. Can you swim? * Yeah, but I hate water 34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? * Probably grab everything I love and hid 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder * Yes. Depression, anxiety, and bulimia. All doctor diagnosed 36. Are your parents together? * No 37. What's your favourite colour? * Definitely blue 38. What country are you from/do you live in? * America 39. Favourite singer? * I have so many it's not even funny, but here are some * Zayn Malik * Niall Horan * Harry Styles * Selena Gomez * TØP (bands count as singers right?) * Bea Miller * Backstreet Boys * He is We * Shawn Mendes * Halsey * And many many more 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? * Honestly yes, even most of my friends see me as being famous. 41. Do you like dresses? * I love dresses but I hate wearing them. I'm too fat. 42. Favourite song right now? * Song Like You by Bea Miller * Fool For You by Zayn 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? * No. I love talking about sex. It's fun tbh 44. How old were you when you first got your period? * The ripe age of 9 45. Have you ever shot a gun? * Yes, my grandpa owns a gun range 46. Have you ever done yoga? * Yes. I love yoga, especially not yoga. It's so fun 47. Are you a horror girl? * Omg yes. Halloween time is the best. Horror movies are so fun. Haunted house are what I love for 48. Are you good at giving advice? * Yes. I love helping people in any situation. I've been through a lot so I know how to give some good advice. 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. * My childhood was a piece of shot tbh. Um I don't really know what to put. But I loved with my grandparents until I was 4. Then I lived with my mom and father. My mom had a child when I was 6. My father was/is an alcoholic. He only would hurt my mom until I was around the age of 11 he would start to hurt me. My father walked out on us when I was 13. 50. How are you doing today? * Not the greatest. Lately o have been getting better and I haven't been such a downer or anything but life is rough, but I'm trying to find the bright side 51. Were you a cute kid? * Honestly yes. I had the cutest chubby checks ever, my family used to call my chipmunk. I was very very pale and had dark brown hair, almost black, so my family also called me Snow White, but I was afraid of Snow White so I would cry 52. Can you dance? * Nope 53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing? * Being boy crazy. Honestly I've always loved boys (I'm not straight tho). 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? * I dye it all the time. It's been blue, green, aqua, blonde, purple, plum, wine red, chocolate brown, and I've done highlights when I was younger. 55. What colour are your eyes? * They change a lot. But mostly blue and grey 56. What's your favourite animal? * Pigs and giraffes 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? * All the time 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? * My mom. I don't talk to my father 59. Do you have good friends? * Some are good some are toxic 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? * YES!! 61. What's your favourite class? * Biology of Medical Sciences 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. * Teen Wolf (ending soon😢) * TVD (just ended😢) * Gossip Girl * Gilmore Girls * The Fosters * Shameless 63. Are you organized? * Depends 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? * Well I just watched If I Stay for the 1000000x and I love it. But last movie I saw in theaters was A Cure For Wellness and honestly that movie was my shit. So good 11/10 would recommend 67. Which tv character do you relate to most? * Rory Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls. Fun fact my mom was going to name me Rory after her, but my father X it 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? * My past * My father * And my ability to not love myself 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? * Traveling and meeting celebrities 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? * Idk. I would want to die. I'd hate to never be able to die. HAVE YOU SEEN AGE OF ADALINE 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? * Nothing 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? * Everything. 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? * Yeah. Most laws are a piece of shit anyway 74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? * Over the summer. I went to Jelly Stone Park 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? * Being slightly happy and my bed 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? * Nothing 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? * A zoologist 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? * Not much tbh 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? * Idk. I speak up a lot. I like to voice my opinion. 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence * High school, graduate high school, go to college (preferably Chatham university or Duke University), and along the way of that try and become famous 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? * I'd actually get things done. My life wouldn't be as boring. I'd probably be a little happier 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? * Meeting hot people. Meeting celebrities. 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? * Cars, dream house, makeup, and clothes 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? * Past. I'm gonna see some of the future, but I will never see the past so why not 85. What motivates you to succeed? * The thought of being successful 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? * Ummmm idk 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? * City. I love the city so much. When I'm in the city it just makes me so happy. 88. Do you believe in life after death * In a way 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? * None of them. I had bad teachers and good teachers, but none of them have inspired me 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? * Being with my moms side of the family. There amazing people. I love them so much. 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? * Michelle Obama because she is just such a powerful woman. She's honestly amazing. I'd love to talk to her about her views and thoughts. 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? * Puppies. Animals that have an illness or disability and over come it or fight through it, same with humans. Meeting someone I look up to. 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? * That I can't fix everything 94. What do you think happens after we die? * People grieve a little and then go on with their lives 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? * Like actually invisible, I'd probably sneak into concerts 96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try? * There's a lot of things I can't do but it's mostly because I don't try hard enough or try at all. 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? * Slightly, but at the same time I like surprises. 98. How did your first crush develop? * It was in kindergarten where I had my first crush. But my first real one was in 6th grade, I sat across from him in math. We talked and got in trouble for it all the time. He was a really nice person. 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? * I ignore most of my feelings. I don't want to feel sometimes. 100. Do you live or do you just exist? * I exist. I don't think I'll ever live

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