#recycling this tag since i feel like i need one now that i keep writing about thai in thai ql

[visualtaehyun]

Feeling utterly unhinged about Hidden Agenda rn so here's an aimless meta? linguistic meandering through the episode?? Eh, bit of both, I guess.

Disclaimer: I'm still learning Thai so feel free to correct me on anything 🙏

Part 2/4 currently doesn't have subs (watching without any subs turned out to be easier than I expected) so I don't know in how far the subs make it clear but-

When Joke first comes to Zo's dorm and meets his mom, he expectedly addresses her as คุณน้า (khun naa). It's a polite way to address an aunt (specifically the younger sister of one's mom) or address a woman who could be your aunt, age-wise.

As we saw, they seemed to have bonded pretty quickly over cooking so I was delighted to hear Joke call her คุณแม่ (khun mae) already when she invites him to stay for dinner. It's a polite form of address for someone's mother - you could call your friend's mom this, a teacher might address a student's mother like that, it's a respectful way to call your partner's mom or even your own if you're that formal with your parents. Zo's mom most likely offered it to him.

Apart from this linguistic context clue, I think it was pretty obvious how grateful Zo's mom was for Joke bridging the gap and letting her know a bit about what Zo is up to these days. He doesn't seem to talk to his mom much at all but then again he keeps his feelings inside a lot anyway. It's lovely that Joke encourages him to be more open with his feelings and thoughts, not just towards Joke himself but everyone! He's really been consistently trying to get Zo to come out of his shell, experience new things, and be less passive.

Let's talk about the food Zo's mom made! (At least as much as I'm catching, with the lack of subs 🥴)

It's all Southern Thai dishes, อาหารใต้ (ahaan dtai), which are generally known to be spicy hot hence Joke's suffering and sweating lol

Food pictures courtesy of this handy-dandy Wikipedia list, where you can also read up on these and other Thai dishes if you're interested!

The dish Joke and Zo's mom rescue from burning to a crisp is หมูหวาน (moo wan), "sweet pork".

Next up is the curry that Zo's mom makes sure to serve Joke: It's called แกงส้ม (gaeng som), orange curry, in Southern Thailand but everywhere else it's called แกงเหลือง (gaeng lueang), yellow curry, or แกงส้มใต้ (gaeng som dtai), Southern Thai orange curry, to differentiate it from central Thai แกงส้ม (gaeng som), orange curry. The one in the picture above is made with fish.

A clearly struggling Joke says he likes Southern food, especially กุ้งผัดสะตอ (goong phat sataw), shrimp stir-fried with the "stink" beans we see being used as a punishment/challenge at the end of the episode. The picture above is of the pork variety of this dish, หมูผัดสะตอ (moo phat sataw).

I'm not actually sure what the dessert is that Zo's mom shows up with as the boys are having A Moment™. But judging from the color, I'm gonna assume it's grass jelly, เฉาก๊วย (chao guay).

As for the tongue twister / pronunciation exercise - the translators did a nice job in choosing an equivalent English one but that can't stop me from sharing the Thai one hehe

ยักษ์รักลิง /yak rak ling/ = giant loves monkey

ลิงรักยักษ์ /ling rak yak/ = monkey loves giant

ลิงน่ารัก /ling naarak/ = cute monkey

ยักษ์รักลิง /yak rak ling/ = giant loves monkey

So here's how Joke ends up using it to continue to be dorky-sweet to cheer Zo up flirt:

ยักษ์รักลิงแล้ว /yak rak ling laew/ = The giant loves the monkey (already). (It's possible he says อยาก /yaak/ here, my ability to distinguish tones ain't all that, in which case it would be Want to love the monkey.)

ลิงรักยักษ์บ้างปะ /ling rak yak baang bpa/ = Does the monkey love the giant at all?

ไม่ต้องรักยักษ์ก็ได้นะ /mai dtawng rak yak gaw dai na/ = Don't have to love the giant.

แต่แค่กลับมาคุยกับยักษ์เหมือนเดิมก็พอแล้ว /dtae kae glap maa kuy gap yak meuuan deerm gaw paw laew/ = Just going back to speaking with the giant same as before is enough.

I'm still in disbelief that Zo could make this smitten face at Joke yet not realize that Joke basically just confessed to him!

This show keeps on driving me crazy with how these characters look at each other, in general. There's a lot of tension, and with how JoongDunk and P'Tee have talked about this series and these characters, I'm kind of expecting that tension to resolve in

SPICE

[jittyjames]

for the fanfic writer asks!!

3, 11, 13, 19, 20, 24, 33, 39 (bc your fics drive me insane and i need more of your incredible works), 42, 45, 69 and 74!!!

sorry that i put loads, just choose whatever ones you want to answer out of the ones i’ve asked <3

YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO ANSWER THEM ALL BESTIE

3- ok so my process is basically non-existent, but i'll walk you through it anyway. so i'll have an idea for a scene literally at any point. sometimes it can be a single sentence or sometimes it can be a vague concept, but i always write it down. if i have my phone it's almost always going in my notes app. from there, i just kind of expand on the idea as it develops when i get back to my laptop. i tend to write the exciting and important scenes first in a very rough fashion, and then go back to fill in the blanks. then i go back and polish by combing over it for grammar mistakes and adding a few more details. that's pretty much it!

11- OOO! i'll do three for hamilton and three for jcs to appease both sides

FAV HAMILTON FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE a more perfect union by holograms (thanks to crys for introducing me to THIS), the monticello furlough by michelle_a_emerlind, and death of a nation by cyanspica

THEN HONORABLE MENTIONS!! LITERALLY ANYTHING BY YOU, CECE, AND XEN. I EAT THOSE UP EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

FAV JCS FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE obviously the incomparable ruined ambition series by @solarflicker (which i literally trip over myself to go read every time i get the email that it's been updated), picking up the palm fronds by onetrueobligation, and the cup that can't be filled by @ohsoldier (literally the good omens/jcs crossover of my dreams)

SO MANY MORE TOO!! BOTH FANDOMS ARE FILLED WITH SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE! GO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS PEOPLE. FANFIC WRITERS AND FANARTISTS ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP FANDOM ALIVE.

13- "write for yourself, your dick, and your six closest friends." SHARED BY @fireballdance

19- my most used rating tag is mature, my most tagged ship is hamilton/laurens, my most tagged character is hamilton (obv lol), and my most used additional tag is hurt/comfort

20- i use a lot of rain imagery i think. actually i use a lot of weather imagery bc i'm annoyinggg. and then ofc i use aspects of my trauma in most of my fics (even ones you wouldn't suspect) but no one really would pick up on that since y'all don't know, but themes of abuse are certainly littered through out. obviously biblical imagery, too. i can't think of any phrases, SO IF YOU KNOW OF SOME THAT YOU NOTICED I'VE USED A LOT LEMME KNOW.

24- the worst advice i've ever gotten is if you're stuck, delete everything and start over. absolutely not. you can start over, but i wouldn't ever delete anything. even if i don't use lines in one fic, i can always recycle and put it somewhere else. NEVER DELETE. YOU'LL REGRET IT. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

33- YES I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED. i have so many original novel ideas and i want to write southern gothic literature so badly. i doubt it will ever happen but that's the dream. i would also really like to write my own plays :))) but for now, i'm sticking to universes and characters i'm already familiar with

39- OOOO I HAVE SO MANY WIPS BC OF WHUMPTOBER (currently have a little bit over 30k words written 👀👀 and that's not even counting the kink stuff BUT I'M NOT GOING INTO THAT WITH YOU BC YOU ARE A MINOR) BUT LEMME PICK ONE I THINK YOU'LL LIKE

Philip’s forehead burned under his hand.  Alexander felt something in his chest and stomach plummet to what seemed like hell. He remembered the feeling of this. He remembered how hot his mother’s flesh had seared as she shivered against him, her arms wrapped tight and secure as she hummed shakily to him. He remembered how she soothed her hand over his hair as she whispered te quiero over and over.   He remembered her going still and cold. 

42- THE LAST FIC I READ WAS calm you and anoint you (envy) by a_trick_or_two_with_lepers AND ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE IT. GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

45- I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BREAK MY READERS' HEARTS. IT IS MY LIFE'S MISSION. I NEED Y'ALL ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH MY FICS

69- hmmm i'm always embarrassed when i post smut but i'm not really embarrassed that it exists. and the fics i were embarrassed about have long been deleted from the internet SO NOT REALLY ANY OF THEM I GUESS

74- if it's a fic posted in an obscure musical fandom about trauma and has my long-winded ass writing style, it's probably me :)

THANKS FOR THE ASK I HAD A LOT OF FUN ANSWERING THEMMM. ILYYY MWAH 💙

[ikigyu]

— deja vu.

DEJA VU (n.) ↳ a feeling of having already experienced the present situation. inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's Deja vu.

PAIRINGS » heeseung x fem! reader GENRE » angst ofc, exes au WARNINGS » none! WORD COUNT » 600+ DISCLAIMER » All things mentioned in this story are all fictitious and none of them are meant to happen in real life: this is just made out of pure fiction! A/N » the lyrics are not in the right order! feedbacks and constructive criticisms are welcome! this is NOT that good so please don't expect something beautiful— I need to work on my writing, I know. This is the only part of SOUR SERIES that I don't like LOL!

→ PART OF MY SOUR MINI-SERIES.

taglist: @hee-pster @highkeygolden @youshineshine @rae-blogging @alexaaaaaaaaa2121212 ,, send an ask/dm to be added to the series taglist! // general taglist: @bluejaem, @berrysungie @softminn, @jenopollo @cloudyhaos @jjikyuu ,, send an ask/dm to be added to my general taglist or enhypen taglist! network tag: @kpoptopianet @kpopscape @multifandomnet // beta-read by: @treasuretaeil

❝ So when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? ❞

You eyed your ex-boyfriend, heeseung, up and down as he walked with his so-called new girlfriend in the park. You were in your casual attire and so are they.

In the female's hand, she was holding ice cream—with one spoon for the both of them. If you were a stranger that was watching their little date, of course, you would find it cute.

But too bad, you've experienced that before.

They were both smiling and giggling, looking oh-so-happy, making people around them swoon over at the sight. Funny how you actually underwent being in the same situation as his new girl.

❝ She thinks it's special, but it's all reused. ❞

The way she looked at him, it showed admiration and love. She was happy with all the things they were doing, yet all you felt was pity.

You pitied her for not knowing he did those things with you before he did with her.

Couldn’t he think about something else to do? Like something unique—rather than re-using all the things you’ve done with him before, like recycling maybe but no, he re-used it all. It makes him look like a guy who switches girlfriends and then goes to the same date spot every time he gets a new one—well, to be honest, that’s exactly him.

It’s been months ever since you both last spoke to each other. It’s probably one of those nights that you didn’t want to remember.

But right now, it looked like nothing ever happened between the two of you. He was happy, smiling widely, eyes boring into the female’s figure filled with love. How? How could he look so okay?

Maybe it’s true love, but you never know.

❝ A different girl now, but there's nothing new. ❞

Even if you were a distance away, you saw how the girl smiled at him—you saw yourself in her. Her hair was the same color as yours, both of you were computer majors, same style and same status.

Almost nothing was different.

Except for one thing: She was prettier than you—well that's what you tell yourself.

You would always ask yourself: “If she's the one he replaced you with, how can he keep up with all the similarities?” Because you couldn't understand it. Replacing you with an exact copy of you—what kind of reasoning is that? Probably the logic of the one and only Heeseung.

❝ Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you. ❞

You would always see them inside the music room on campus, sitting side by side in front of the piano as the boy plays it for her.

The song he was playing was all too familiar for you—it was your song when you were still dating. You couldn't believe this was happening. You taught him how to play that song and all he did was take advantage of it.

It was a song for lovers, who met each other and stayed with each other until the end. Maybe the song never suited both of you. I mean, you did meet each other, but one of you gave up on the promise of loving each other eternally.

She sang the song that he taught her—yet she doesn't know it came from you.

You even saw Heeseung singing her the songs you both listen to each other with telling her that he loves her in between the chorus and the verse. It was a sight for sore eyes.

If you get deja vu just by watching them, what about himself? Probably.

❝ Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? ❞

He does—but he doesn't realize it.

Heeseung wasn't aware of the similarities even though it was so clear already. What was the point of breaking up with you if all he could find was just a straight-out copy of yourself? We will never know.

But at least, you'll never be like him.

— © ZHONGWRLD . ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

[obeymematches]

Yo. How about dad Lucifer, dad Satan,dad Diabolo and dad Levi?

anon i love your mind<3 had so much fun writing this, i tried to keep it short & simple but i failed :(

Dad Lucifer, Satan, Diavolo, and Levi (GN MC btw)

Lucifer:

I did something like this for him in this post already, but to highlight some stuff:

Answering kids’ questions about life can be rough, you know? I feel like sometimes he’d answer w/ some complete bs on purpose. (which, according to him encourages critical thinking of the world and it teaches how you shouldn’t trust just anyone. don’t buy.)

I think teenagers don’t like him for several reasons (being bossy, thinking he’s better than anyone, etc.) which leaves him surprised, mostly, but he only really cares if he is the parent.

Regardless of what the kids think he’d still love them though. Like he might complain and all but at the end he loves his kid and if he has to he can go the extra mile for them. 

Also I think he doesn’t spend as much time with them as he’d want to so that is one problem to be solved. You know he is very family oriented but he is also busy all the time - this can make kids think he doesn’t care about them at all, or worst, they might think he doesn’t even love them...

I think when both of you are busy / out on a date he’d trust uncle Mammon to do his babysitting duty.

This goes without saying but anyways, I think we can all agree that he’d be a strict parent, like if the poor kid gets a B they are getting punished, unless they have a good reason in their defense. Also they have to help with chores obviously. 

Satan:

As much as he’d like to be different than his father, some of his ways he just can’t help. I think he wouldn’t reply with nonsense as often, but sometimes he definitely does it on purpose.

Spends much more time with them thus they have a better bond. They can and will team up against you for example when you need to decide what to have for dinner. But also they always surprise you on your Bday as a team.

I think he’d prepare them for domestic life, as in teaching them how to change a light bulb, how to cook/bake and very simple DIY stuff. (like putting on a shelf) (also how and what to recycle, how not to waste food, etc) Makes them pay close attention to their emotions and helps them gain control.

Though he also wants them to refine their intellectuality so he’d urge them to get higher education. This will probably cause problems if the kid doesn’t want it though, so you might have to step in.

Dad puns / jokes all day.

I feel like he’d be the dad who embarrasses his kids at like. grocery stores (or public in general), mainly because of his sense of fashion.

ah..imagine kids running up to him in a fit after they fell and hurt their knees or something... oh no he has to be so gentle now... (also. very quick to figure out the trick of “if you pretend you didn’t see they’ll just move on”)

Diavolo:

I think he’d make a fun dad despite not knowing so much about parenting. That is why he is insecure and not so sure about it at first, but I think he’d have it in him to be a great dad. (makes mistakes sometimes though)

Every weekend you go somewhere with the family, a zoo, an amusement park, the beach, sledding, maybe just fishing. His kids love him so much and want to do everything with him all the time (and so does him). When they are babies he gets himself this baby carrier and might even take them to work sometimes. No need to feel jealous though, they get to spend time with you too when he is busy on the week days.

I feel like he’d spoil them so much though, something he just can’t help. I mean he doesn’t want to be like his father was to him, obviously. (also like... as they are royals... how are they supposed to not be spoiled...)

I think the main lessons he’d teach them is honesty and learning to balance work and free time. Also as he is probably the first pacifist prince / king in history he’d want his kids to continue on this road, but obviously he can only do so much about that.

As he is strong he’d do so much physical play with them when they are still very young, like playing airplanes, spinning them, etc. On that note, he is the best to keep up with their energy levels, playing tag, etc. Depending on the number of kids he might get tired at some point, but 1-3 kids he can handle perfectly fine.

 Oh on that note, in case he has multiple kids he is the best dad at teaching them how to get over their sibling-rivalry. Listen since he is an only child this would be a very foreign concept & it worries him more than anything to see his kids fight each other. Must find a solution to this!!

Leviathan:

Hmm I not sure if he’d really want kids, but if you manage to convince him he’d make a conscious father.

Does his best not to embarrass them but he might fail at that sometimes.

Unlike Diavolo, he’d much rather quiet, stay-in weekends. Sometimes visiting a body of water is fine though (imagine him teaching them how to swim aaa). Or if his kid preforms something at a school event he is there to see and take a video!!!! even if he is the only parent at the event!!!!

Can’t handle rebellious phases at all though. Gets very emotional.

Similar to Satan, he’d team up with his kids to surprise you on special days. Obviously him and his kids have a special bond since they always play video games together. (You included of course!!!!!)

Playing Devil Kart so often and sometimes he lets his kid win, all fun and games until the kid(s) gets better at it than him...

The main lessons he’d teach them is to be passionate, go all in, and not to be afraid to like whatever they do. If he learns his kid loves something he makes them a personalized birthday cake in that theme.

Would continue cosplaying but obviously now he includes his kid(s) as well!! can’t get over how adorable the little overall is which he made for them.

In case you manage to have him leave his room, maybe to go to the playground or on a trek or something, he is a very well prepared parent (that’s why you might have to wait for him before you go), ready to carry the heaviest backpack if needed (do it for the team✊), full of sandwiches and water bottles.

[south-park-meta]

Bunny w/ Mamihlapinatapei if you like that, otherwise Style?

I don't like Bunny tbh but it's fine, there aren't many pairings I hate too much to try writing! (I included Style too though because I'm a simple person).

Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

"I know now that you won't remember, the next time you see it. I just need you to believe me, before we...start anything."

"I believe you," Butters says immediately. He considers, then says, "Y'know, I think we all die a little. It's the comin' back that matters."

Kenny's always been good at reading people. Stan's good at it, too. It's one of the defense mechanisms that they've picked up together but separately. Kenny learned it as part of conflict resolution; it's important to read the mood at home, to decide if he and his siblings should leave the room or if it'd be better to just flick on the TV. If he had to guess, he'd say that Stan got good at reading people at home, too. Neither Stan nor Shelly have ever been hit by their parents-- Kenny doesn't think they were spanked as kids, never mind gotten in a fist fight the way Kevin did sometimes with his dad. But violence isn't the only thing that does it. Stan knows if someone's safe to drive with or if they're going to weave between lanes. He knows the exact way to play babysitter to draw someone back from a nutty scheme. He knows how to mold himself to seem like less trouble to make things easier, when it matters.

Their experiences are different but the same, when it comes to picking up those little hints of a person. The cues that most people don't have reason to learn.

Kenny notices the shift, when Stan and Kyle fall in love with each other. He's always figured they'd end up together, once they figured their own shit out. Over junior year the way they look at each other changes-- not overnight, but not slowly, either, like it's shifting with the seasons. He actually thinks they're together when Stan starts talking about prom.

Except then Stan asks if he wants to skip it to play video games.

Kenny furrows his brows. "Is this a 'Poor Kenny' thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kenny says. Then he stops for a moment to consider which way to take it. His guess is that Stan's feeling sorry for him, because prom's kind of expensive if you do it right. Even doing it a little wrong is more expensive than what Kenny has. It's a hard thing to traverse, though, because if he's honest he likes it when his friends recognize the difference in what they all have to spend. The pop he's drinking is one Stan bought him. But there's a difference in wanting to tag along to McDonald's and maybe, every now and then, letting his friends order a happy meal for him, and wanting his friends to skip out on milestone moments just to play video games. "How come you and Kyle aren't going together?"

"We could," Stan agrees, holding his bottle of Fanta by the neck and spinning it in a lazy circle. Kenny knows he gets the glass ones instead of plastic because it makes him think of beer bottles. It's hard to tell if that scratches an itch or tickles at it. "But we'd just be hanging around, anyway. Same shit, different place."

"Or you could, you know, dance?"

Stan stops spinning his bottle. "With Kyle?" he asks.

He sounds so baffled that Kenny's actually almost surprised they don't need an extra step of 'With who?'

Which makes Kenny baffled, too. "Why not with Kyle?"

"Because we're not dating?"

"Is that a question?" Kenny asks. And before Stan can answer he says, "I thought you were. Finally." It seems like something they'd forget to tell him just because they've been half-dating for so long.He still can't stop himself from making snide comments when they box him out now and again, but when it comes to this--he hadn't even been offended, thinking they'd forgotten.

"Well. We're not."

"So ask him."

"Why would I do that?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't you do that?" Kenny demands. "I love you, Stan, but you're really stupid sometimes."

"Hey," Stan says, but he doesn't sound very offended.

"I know you love him."

"Okay," Stan says, "I love him."

Kenny waits a beat, but Stan doesn't keep going, which is a little maddening. "And he loves you."

"Not like that."

"Yes like that."

Kenny can tell he's not telling Stan anything he doesn't already know, the way he frowns and looks away.

"Why don't you ask Butters, then?" Stan snaps, peevish, looking at his feet. "If you're so smart. He'd go with you."

"Because," Kenny says.

Stan huffs through his nose and opens his eyes a little wider in a way that says, See? And man, maybe Kenny's a hypocrite, but Stan is a smug hypocrite, which is definitely more annoying.

"Fuck you," Kenny says.

"Fuck you, too," Stan says. They sit in silence for a moment and Stan takes another drink of Fanta. Another moment of silence and he says, "You should ask him, though, for real."

Maybe Kenny should, for real. Stan still doesn't like Butters much after all these years--Butters doesn't like Stan much, either-- so Kenny knows it's nothing Stan would suggest if he didn't think it was something that would make Kenny happier. "If I do, you have to talk to Kyle."

"Sure thing, Ken," Stan says. He's still got smug in his tone, like he's agreeing because he knows this is a bet he won't lose.

And it's still kind of annoying, mostly for the 'Ken' that Stan rarely uses except to be condescending, but only for about half a second. Stan can get up his own ass sometimes around Kenny for the same reason Kenny knows he can be petty, bitchy, around Stan. Kenny knows he can't claim a spot at the Super Best Friends table, but they've been regular best friends since they were three. They know each other's entire humanities, even the ugly bits. It's good sometimes, to have a place for the ugly.

They shoot the shit a while longer and then part ways. Stan takes both their empty bottles to recycle them.

Kenny goes over to Butters' house afterwards. He tells himself it's for Stan and Kyle's sake, or at least to force Stan to admit he doesn't have the guts, but he knows well enough he's using them as an excuse. He knocks on the door and waits.

"Kenny!" Butters greets him, bright-eyed. It's really hard to take someone looking at him like that. Like he's the only good thing in all of South Park.

"Hi," Kenny says. "Can I come in?"

"I'll come out," Butters says. "Your shoes are kinda muddy. Y'know my parents would throw a fit."

Kenny doesn't look down at his shoes. It's true, and he doesn't really mind Butters saying so. Even if he does think he could wipe his shoes clean enough.

They take a walk down to Stark's pond. Butters takes his hand halfway there. Kenny slows his pace to make sure it lasts a little longer just in case Butters wants to skip rocks. He doesn't let go, though, once they get there. They sit there holding hands and looking at the water.

"I need to tell you something. Then I need to ask you something," Kenny tells the water.

"Mm, all right," Butters says. His tone stays pitched up, chipper, but Kenny can hear the anxiety stretched underneath, like a safety net waiting to catch someone's fall. "Shoot."

"Well," Kenny says, deciding to back track a bit, because he doesn't like that anxiety. There are too many kids in South Park that have it sitting dormant under their voices, and he likes it least of all on Butters. "I want to ask you to prom. But I need to tell you something first."

The tension slides out at that and Butters smiles wide. "You're doing it all backwards, then, ain't'cha?"

"I do a lot of things backwards," Kenny says, "But you'll go with me? If I ask."

"Sure, I will!"

That doesn't surprise him, for the same reason he knows Stan won't be surprised if he asks Kyle-- or Kyle, if he asks Stan. "I need to tell you," Kenny starts again, "That I die a lot."

Butters tips his head. He looks at Kenny, eyes asking him to continue.

"I know it sounds crazy," Kenny says, "But you've seen me die. You've all seen me die. I used to die every day. And then I came back, and you'd all forget." He pauses as he stares at the lake. There are concessions he's learned he has to make, since the frustrated years of his childhood spent killing himself over and over again, intentionally and not. "I know now that you won't remember, the next time you see it. I just need you to believe me, before we...start anything."

"I believe you," Butters says immediately. He considers, then says, "Y'know, I think we all die a little. It's the comin' back that matters."

"Yeah?" Kenny knows Butters doesn't mean the physical, the way he does, but he also knows that Butters knows he does mean the physical.

"Yeah. I feel it, when part of me dies. Why, there's been times-- there's been times I figure enough of it's gone and died, that I ought to just end it all!" He's not just talking about Reality, and Kenny knows that, too. He's talking about the bits and pieces that have been killed by his parents, by the other students, by South Park as a whole. "But you come back to life. And if you work real hard at it, you come back stronger than before. It gets better...You said it doesn't happen every day anymore, didn't'cha?"

Kenny nods his head. He's a little surprised, that Butters had caught that with his saying it 'used to' be every day.

"Well, maybe someday it won't be happening at all, anymore. Maybe you're coming back stronger and stronger and it won't keep getting you. Not until it's supposed to."

"I'd like that," Kenny says, smiling.

"I'd like to go to prom with you," Butters says.

Kenny nods very fast. He wants, at that moment, more than just prom. He wants every life and every death with Butters. He wants them to go, hand-in-hand the way they are now, and face as many deaths and revivals as they have left in them, together.

[whattheheehaw]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx

In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.

I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.

My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.

Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 

Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.

Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:

Ambassador Katara

An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)

A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)

Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen

A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6

S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)

Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨

Ursa is found

Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together

ZK wedding happens in the FN

After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.

My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.

For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.

There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.

This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.

This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".

And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.

The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.

*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.

**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.

***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.

[sailorstarr-chan4]

God, I wish I could enjoy reading/writing Inuyasha fics again.

I was gonna keep this just in my tags, but fuck it.

I literally, almost physically, cannot look up or click on Inuyasha fics anymore. The few exceptions I made in 2020-2021 are incredibly few and sparsely in-between, especially after Yashahime's announcement.

I can't even reread old faves.

I barely skim my own, and only as an exercise of "I need to work on my WIPs, lemme glance over what I've got."

Hell, I downright sometimes feel physically ill, or at the very least, on the verge of a panic attack, when I do try to look up fics! I straight up blocked the Inuyasha tag for almost the first half of 2021 because even fan art (fucking fan art!!) was making me feel horrible and nasty and uncomfortable AF.

(And no, not because of the existence of That One Ship because I could not give less of a shit - and barely saw much of it in my sphere anyway - so much as the absolute madhouse that centered around said ship, the mud-slinging over the fact that people liked or disliked it/Yashahime as a whole, and even neutrals like me getting attacked over daring to not give a fuck.

How BOTH sides were claiming "I'm being stalked and harassed!!!!!" and yet no one seems to agree which side is "worse" in terms of behavior because it got so out of hand so disgustingly fast and for so. fucking. long.)

In short, this fandom's drama has thoroughly and unequivocally destroyed my love of Inuyasha fics.

And that's a damn fucking shame.

Because I LOVED those fics. I loved the post-canon fluff and smut. I loved the AUs, Inuyasha being one of the very few fandoms I can even entertain the idea of OOC AUs with. I loved the fans' passion, the giggling on Discord, the Horniness on Main, the ideas and brainstorming, etc.

And fuck it I'll say it, I fucking LOVED MY fics!! Writing Inuyasha fics brought me so much joy and life to my stale writing career at that point! I had my writing on hold for years, because I was getting nowhere with my original stuff, until my fiancé-then-boyfriend encouraged me to give fanfiction a try.

I want that back. I want all of that back.

Despite my very complicated, salty, and depressed relationship with the fandom now, if I were to write for Inuyasha again, it would probably only be for finishing An Unexpected Encounter, Prince of Thieves, and Shards of the Sea. Who can say what the future holds beyond that, but that's how it feels now. I only haven't completely divorced myself from the fandom because of the handful of people I chat with on Discord and my loyalty to my dusty ol' WIPs.

Because here's the kicker: the drama did more than kill my love for Inuyasha fics: it made writing ANYTHING AT ALL nearly impossible.

By some miracle, reading other fandom's fics was no problem (thank you, Harry Potter and Disney fandoms, for being my saving grace for the past 2 years 😭😭😭), but writing..... was stagnated, to say the least.

Did I manage SOME writing in the past 2 years? By the skin of my teeth, yes, but there's been no "new" updates in almost a year, and basically a year before that. (Discounting Tied Together and Bonds Across Time, since they became mini-archives for older sketches lol)

Idk I just.... I just needed to vent. The fact that people are STILL screaming down each others' throats, the fact that ancient discourse on the original series is STILL being recycled and rehashed, the fact that seeing people punching out fics in spite of it all makes me so ashamed and pathetic and tiny.....

Why can't we all just get along? Why can't shippers go ship their thing and mind their own business, and people who don't like it can block their NOTPs and not endlessly rag on it? Why can't people just watch a stupid fucking anime in peace? Why can't fandoms be just for fun and not add to the stress of an already burning world?

[dokoni-mo]

Forgotten Coffee || Darth Vader x Reader

(A/N: yes hi so I wrote this for my good, good friend jojo @obiwankenobiness ,, she came up with this prompt and i ABSOLUTELY had to write it. This is one hell of a big ol fluffy fluff, so be warned! however, it might do you some good after chapter 5 of BaT :’))) speaking of which, I have tagged all my normal people for Bat/FaT,, i hope that’s okay!! one last thing - this is set after the events of RotJ and before the epilouge of FaT. I will link my masterlist below if you don’t know what im talking about/need a refresher!! I hope you all enjoy, ESPECIALLY you, Jojo. Thank you so much for being so kind, and thank you even more for being such a dear friend. ily and I hope this can make you happy, and I hope even more that it’s everything you ever wanted <3 )

Link to Masterlist : [x] 

WARNINGS: cursing, small amount of angst, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, otherwise none!! 

Key: (F/N) = first name

Word Count: ~3500

~~~

Making a house on your new home planet was the easy part. Making it a home was the challenging part. 

It had been about half a year since the fall of the Empire. You and Vader had seemingly just gotten settled into this planet, learning about its climate, weather habits, vegetation and wildlife together along the way. It was quite the beautiful place, and the perfect place to hide. 

The planet was far, far away from any known systems, and much further away from any trace of the Empire. The two of you picked the planet for this specific reason; to be away from everyone. However, this hadn’t stopped you from telling his children where the planet was, pinging them a signal once you were able to construct a communication device strong enough. 

Was it sort of a risky move? Sure, it was. But you both agreed that his children deserved to know where the two of you were. 

Just in case they run into trouble and need our help, was how you justified it. 

Vader agreed with this, but disagreed at the same time. 

Yes, he did think it was a good idea for Luke and Leia to know where their father is, but also didn’t want anyone to know of the planet. Vader was unnerved, to say the absolute least, that somehow someone would find your new home and destroy it, and him alongside. Or, even worse…

Destroy you. 

He couldn’t bear the thought. 

Even just picturing you harmed in any way… 

It brought back old ghosts to Vader. Ones he didn’t wish to remember or visit him. 

All he simply wished to do was live out the rest of his days in peace, here on this nowhere planet with you. 

He, however, was finding this difficult to do. No matter how hard he tried, tried for you, his mind would slip back into a state of unbridled worry. 

That afternoon was one of those times. 

Constructing the house was proving to be much more difficult than you had originally thought. Coming from a village of people who made their own homes out of recycled materials, you had believed that constructing a house should be not much of a problem for you. Granted, laying out the foundations of said house really wasn’t. However, what went in the house was the challenging part. 

You knew that he needed certain things to keep him alive and comfortable (his meditation pod and bacta tank), but you never believed that constructing these things would be so challenging. Yes, you were trying to juggle this feat alongside the repairs to his suit, but his accommodations were the far more stubborn and frustrating of the two tasks. With  only having the rubble of a crashed Star Destroyer to work with, you had to bullshit your way around a lot of problems you occurred. You couldn’t, however, bullshit too much, because then you would start to jeopardize his health and comfort. 

Those were two things you were not willing to gamble with. 

With the setting sun creeping in through the windows of your house, you decided that enough was enough for one day. You had battled with the filter to his bacta tank for far too long, and your muscles and bones were complaining because of it. Hobbling your way into the half-furnished living room, you sat down upon the sofa with a long, deep sigh, relief washing over you as your legs got a much needed break.

A sheen of sweat on your forehead, you pulled off your fingerless gloves as quickly as possible, stretching and clamping them as you pulled your goggles off of your face, setting them beside you. With your hands now stretched, you focused on providing some relief to your legs, rubbing your hands up and down your thighs in an attempt to soothe your muscles. 

Vader must have sensed that you had completed your work for the day, since he was quick to come in from the garden to see you. Looking up at his large, tall, black frame coming through the doorway, you smiled up at him, your cheeks pink from both the sight of your lover just barely fitting through the doorframe and your raised body temperature from your work. Closing the door behind him, Vader’s gaze went to your face. 

“Are you finished for the evening, darling?” he asked you, the bass in his voice nearly making the windows shake. 

You nodded your head, making circles with your shoulders to stretch them out, “Yeah, I am. Do you want anything for dinner? I’m not really hungry but I’ll make you whatever you want.” 

“That is quite alright.” he said, “I do not seem to have much of an appetite tonight either.” 

You ceased to stretch your shoulders at your words, the smile on your face forming into a concerned look as you gazed upon your lover. 

This was the third meal in a row that he had refused. It wasn’t a matter of that he felt bad for you making him food, no. The two of you have had that discussion long ago. You were afraid this was a far more pressing matter, and you had a good idea of what it was. 

“Love,” you said, your voice lowered to match your concern, “You haven’t eaten since dinner last night… you have to keep up your strength.” 

He stared at you for a long moment before saying anything. 

“I am aware, darling.” 

“Then how about I make you some dinner, okay?” you asked, your tone still soft, “I’ll bring it to your pod like you like it.” 

“No. That is not necessary. I do not wish to consume anything at the moment. I thank you for offering, however, dear.” 

You let out a small sigh. You loved Vader with every atom in your body, but damn was he stubborn. 

“Vee.” you said, your tone now firm, “You’re making me worried.” 

He tilted his armored head to the side, the sound of his respirator in your ears, “How so?” 

“You haven’t been eating much recently, love.” you explained, “And I’ve been noticing how much time you spend outside… Is there something you need to tell me, dear?” 

He simply just stared at you again, taking in the sight of your worried face. 

You didn’t deserve to feel such a way. You didn’t need the added stress of worrying about him. 

He decided it would be best to tell you what was happening. 

He hung his head slightly, “I… I have been troubled, darling.” 

“Troubled?” you asked. 

“Yes.” 

You eyed him for a moment. 

That was all he needed to tell you. 

“Vee, listen to me, okay?” you said, “No one is going to find us here. The only two people in the entire galaxy that know where we are is Luke and Leia, and there’s no way in hell that they would rat us out. There is literally no reason why the Empire or anyone would come here looking for us. This planet is in the middle of nowhere. We will be okay, dear. I promise.” 

He picked up his head to look at you again, making you offer him a small, warm smile in return. 

You were so breathtakingly gorgeous to him. 

Both inside and out. 

He wanted to believe you. He really did. 

And he did trust you. More than anyone he ever had, in fact. 

But, still.. 

This feeling inside him, the fear he felt…

He couldn’t shake it. No matter how hard he tried. 

Your words did soothe his nerves a certain amount, but still…

This issue would need time.

You both knew this, unconsciously. 

He only could pray that you would accept this and stop your worrying. 

He didn’t want you to stress. 

He loved you far too much for that. 

Walking his heavy, large boots over to you, he reached down to your face, giving your cheek a gentle brush with the back of his knuckles. 

Your cheeks stained pink again as he spoke, “I appreciate your concern, dear. I believe I will retire for the night.” 

Your lips parting, you weren’t expecting him to just go to bed so early and leave it at that. You wanted to protest, to get him to talk about it more, but you knew better than to press the subject. 

It took you this long for him to open up to you even a little bit. You didn’t want all your work together to go to waste. 

No. Instead, you gave him a little smile and a nod, “Okay, dear. Goodnight, I love you.” 

“I love you too, (F/N).” 

With that, he left the living room to your shared bedroom, the weight of his steps making the wooden floorboards beneath him creak and moan. You followed him with your gaze as you watched him leave, noticing how his cape fluttered in the wind behind him. 

His cape…

It was quite old now, worn even. The end of it was in tatters, and significantly lighter in hue than the rest of the material. 

It looked… sad. 

Just like he had been, before you and him came to be a thing. 

Your lips parting again, an idea shot through your mind as you processed the sight of his cape. 

An idea to you, but he would call it more of a scheme. 

A determined smile came upon your face. 

You set yourself up for a long, long night, but you didn’t care.

You would do anything, stay up countless nights, if it meant he was at peace and happy. 

Once he disappeared into your shared bedroom, you made for your fabric cabinet, setting your scheme into motion. 

~~~\

The night had been a long one, that was nothing but a fact. 

You had brewed seemingly endless amounts of caf to keep you awake, and your tongue was quite sick of the taste by the time morning had came. You didn’t even realize how long you had worked until you heard the birds chirping outside your window. Looking up from your completed project strewn across your dining table, your felt the bags underneath your eyes as you saw the sunlight creep inside your home as a welcome intruder. 

Shit. It was almost time to wake him up. 

Rising from your chair, you stretched and yawned as you made your way into the kitchen, stopping in front of the counter and pouring yourself another cup of caf. Bringing the mug to the table, you placed the cup upon it's surface before padding your feet across the hallway to your bedroom. Creaking the door open, you slowly tip-toed your way to his meditation pod, pressing your ear against the cool surface of the metal. Gently, you knocked on the metal, your voice matching as you spoke. 

“Vee.” you said, your voice quiet from how tired you were, “It’s time to wake up.” 

After a brief pause of silence, you heard the whirr of the pod placing his helmet and mask upon his head. Stepping back, you watched as the pod hissed open, another yawn escaping your lips. Stepping forward again, you reached into the metal container to your love, helping him out of it as you spoke again. 

“Morning Vee.” you said as his boots made contact with the floor. 

“Good Morning, darling.” he rumbled out, his voice deeper as it shaked off his slumber. 

Smiling tiredly up to him, you asked him your usual morning question, “What do you want for breakfast?” 

Looking down at you, Vader instantly noticed the dark circles under your eyes. A pang of concern shooting through him, he cupped your face in his large, gloved hands. 

“Darling.” he said, “Are you alright?” 

“Of course I am.” you said, “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You look as if you did not get any rest last night. Did something keep you awake?” 

You blinked at him slowly in confusion at first, your tired mind making you slow to process. Blinking again as you remembered what had kept you awake, a small smile painted your lips. 

“Yeah.” you said, “Something did.” 

He was definitely worried now, “What was it?” 

“A surprise!” 

He tilted his head at this. He certainly was not expecting that. 

“A surprise?” 

“Yeah!” you exclaimed, taking one of his hands into your own, “Come see!” 

Pulling him out of the bedroom and over to the kitchen, you stopped him once he was in front of the dining table. Taking a few steps in front of him, you picked up his surprise from the table’s surface, holding it in your tired, groggy grasp as you presented it up to him with a dopey smile on your face. 

He was shocked, but in quite a good way. 

A cape?

“I made you a new cape!” you said proudly, showing him the front and back of the cloth. 

The new cape was a medium-toned blue, large enough to fit across his broad shoulders, and long enough to just barely miss the ground as he stood. At the bottom of the cape was a thick strip of golden cloth, an intricate pattern woven into it, and the stitching was noticeably hand-done. 

It was...

Perfect. 

You smiled down at the fabric as you spoke, “I just thought that giving you a little change would do you some good. I know we just got your new hands to work, and we finally got some privacy here on this planet, so I thought I would also make this as a little celebration gift.” 

You turned your gaze to him as you continued, a smile still on your tired face, “Also, your old one was really raggedy, so I made you this new one. You can tell me if you don’t like it, though. I won’t be offended. I know it’s kinda out of your style…” 

Vader was speechless. 

Vader was hardly ever speechless, but he simply could not comprehend the sight before him. 

This girl, who he loved oh, so dearly with every fiber, every ounce of his being…

Made something so beautiful, so perfect…

For him. 

She stayed up all hours of the night, slaving away at this cape…

For him. 

How.

How did he get so damn lucky? 

How did he deserve any of this? 

This house? This cape? 

You? 

After everything he had done? 

He was sure right then that he was the luckiest man in the galaxy. 

Realizing that he still hadn’t said anything, Vader responded to you. 

“My dear,” he said, his head tilted to the side, “I shall adorn anything you make with pride.” 

Another dopey smile coming onto your exhausted face, a yawn came out of your throat, “Really? You like it?” 

“Yes.” 

You let out a tiny squeal of happiness, “I’m so glad! I’ll iron it after breakfast and help you put it on.” 

Vader watched as you folded up his new cape and set it on the table, right next to the cup of caf you poured earlier. Picking up his gaze, he watched your much smaller frame begin to pad your feet into the kitchen.

“Speaking of breakfast,” you said over your shoulder, opening the cabinets to see what kinds of ingredients you had available, “What would you like?” 

Vader said nothing, not moving one muscle as he stared at you. 

He was… in awe. 

How did you do it? He could visibly see the lack of sleep you had gotten, yet you still pressed on. You asked him what he wished to consume without a second thought, ignoring the fact that you were dead tired. 

You were so beautiful. So strong. 

He couldn’t fathom how he deserved you. How you stayed so strong despite how life had been so cruel to you. 

He couldn’t begin to fathom how the universe could make such a perfect human being. 

You…

You were the only one in so, so long that saw Vader not as a machine nor a weapon…

But a person. A living, breathing, person. 

You did everything for him. You made him happy, you calmed his nerves, you soothed his anger, you listened to his rambles, you made him a house, you helped him to escape the clutches of the Empire....

You saved his life. 

…

He loved you. 

He loved you so, so much. 

He would never be able to find the words to tell you just how much he did. 

“Vee.” he heard you say, snapping him out of his awe-struck state, “You’re staring again. Did you hear me? What would you like for breakfast? I’ll make you anything you want.” 

He didn’t want anything to consume that morning. 

Nothing at all. 

He only wanted you. To be close to you, to hold you tight and never let you go. 

And he planned to do as such. 

Stepping forward across the expanse of food flooring that separated the two of you, Vader watched as a confused expression glinted across your face. You asked him what he was doing, but he gave you no response. Instead, he leaned down closer to your height, wrapping his big, strong arms around your waist. Making sure that you were secure in his grasp, he hoisted you up, slinging you over one of his strong shoulders. 

A deep pink blush spread over your cheeks, “V-Vee, what-” 

Ignoring your confusion once more, Vader carried you back into your shared bedroom, making sure that you were comfortable yet secure in his grasp. Pushing open the door to the bedroom with his boot, Vader carried you over to the bed in the center of the room, making the blush on your cheeks deepen in hue. 

Expecting to get thrown onto the bed’s surface, you were surprised when your love sat upon the bed, his weight making the wood and mattress below groan. Soon after sitting down, Vader moved you so that you were seated in his broad lap, your legs straddling his strong, large waist. Snaking up his arms under your own, Vader pulled you close to his huge chest, getting you as close to him as possible.

Your tired brain making you slower to process what was happening, Vader took it upon himself to help you along, resting his armored chin on your small shoulder. 

“Hold me, darling.” he said, his deep voice much softer than normal. 

Feeling your heart swell in your chest, you slowly wrapped your arms around his armored neck, nuzzling your face into his shoulder armor as you held him tightly. 

Vader was much much larger than you, but it made him all the better to cuddle with. His lap was surprisingly soft, despite how muscular he was beneath all the leather, and his grasp around you was so, so soothing. Closing your eyes peacefully, you breathed in his scent as he rubbed one of his hands up and down your back. His gloved hand was quite large, and nearly engulfed your entire lower back. 

He was so gentle with you. It soothed you to no end.

You felt yourself start to drift off to sleep, feeling so safe and secure in his arms. Before you could, however, you heard his deep voice speak to you. Since you were pressed to close to his chest, you could feel the rumble of his voice’s bass from within. 

“I love you endlessly, darling.” he said, his voice still much softer than normal, “Are you aware of this?” 

You were far too tried for words, so you simply nodded your head against his shoulder is response. 

Vader let out a satisfied rumble. He could feel every single one of his nerves and fears melt away as he held you, soothing him to no end. Picking up his head from your shoulder, he pressed the triangle mouthpiece of his mask into your hair, making a small smile appear on your lips. 

His version of a kiss, you took it. 

He rubbed your back with his hand once more, speaking to you again, “Rest easy, darling. I shall continue to hold you until you awaken. Forget about your tasks and rest with me for the day. I shall keep you warm and protect you from all harm, for the rest of time. I love you, (F/N), my darling. You have made my life complete. I wish for nothing more than to be beside you for the rest of my days. You are my entire life, (F/N), my everything. I love you so, so much.” 

A small smile still on your face, you held onto your love tight as you felt yourself drift off into sleep. As he promised, Vader held onto you for as long as you slept, nothing but thoughts of you in his mind. 

It was a beautiful sight, but one that no other man should ever see. A reformed sith lord, holding onto the love of his life on the planet they had escaped to, in the house that she had built, far, far away from any prying eyes, from any harm. 

Your forgotten cup of caf upon the table filled the air with it's scent. 

That day, this house was no longer just a house. 

But a home. 

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666 , @soullesstaco , @arsonistvoyager , @robin-obsessed , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter , @roseangel013bf , @danicalifxrnia , @dartheldur , @finest-trashbag , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121 , @muffinbeliever  , @sakuramadae​ , @padme-parker​ , @khapikat222 , @the-official-memester​ , @rens-angel​ , @yvette1703 , @missmannequin​ , @breakfastpizzagalaxy​ , @scarletsinsandsnowwithetragedies​ , @clearnostolgia , @ahs0ka-skywalker​ , @teddyteddy​

[skippygiraffee]

Writing Tag Game

thank you @merylisk for tagging me ;-; I don't think I've done one before and I'm excited to!!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 26, currently!! 21 of which are Cyberpunk 2077 and then a few more dotted through :3

What’s your total AO3 word count? 574,843, which is. oohhhh buddy sdkfjoeijrsdfoiejrsfd. I think Johnny took over my brain, and this is not a joke

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? And All That Could Have - 1274

Paracusia - 396

Phantom Limb - 377

Ego Death (the elusive Vik fic) - 372

One Last Gig - 333

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do!! for most of my Cyberpunk fics, I've responded to every comment, but that started in the middle of my first slow burn, and I was happy that I started!!! there are some real sweet readers in the fandom!!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm...I don't think any of mine have ended angsty, honestly. sad, sure. but I'm unsure if that qualifies as angst? but if it does it's Me & My Dog and Sacrifice

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Do You Dream of Me? for the emotional pay off after literally just. bringing the pain full on Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the strangest one you’ve written? nope!! not really my thing :3 Have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah, if you count troll comments. but past that, nah. and even then I wouldn't count the trolls, since it was across the board for fic writers in the fandom at the time Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'm laughing at this because I just. the answer is yes, all the time, all day every day (literally, I just don't publish all of it, or even like. 1/3 I think? they're my warm ups). the kind is also just, yes. there are a few things I won't touch, but generally I feel like I've written most smut options somewhere

Have you ever had a fic stolen? that I'm aware of, no!! so that's nice :3 Have you ever had a fic translated? no, I was offered to have one translated, but I didn't know about all that and declined, but I think now that I'm more familiar with the fandom I'm open to it :3 Have you ever co-written a fic before? yeah!! Must Stop was a collab, and it was pretty fun to do!! there's another in the works, I just need to have it finished on my part, but health things are preventing me from buckling down and getting it done fast, but it's about half way there!! What’s your all-time favorite ship? oh, it's Johnny and V sdlkfeoirjsdflkoierjsf. but previously I did reader insert fanfics, so not really a ship, and too they were mostly my OCs disguised as Y/N What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? just a secret WIP that will never be finished and was dropped like a hot potato once I refined the idea. I have a few WIPs and I will be finishing them. I serve bullshit, and bullshit only, and I make good on that What are your writing strengths? from what I've been told it's keeping people in character and pacing. I will trust my darling love Rarby (@beammeupbroadway) because she reads my shit and tells me, and I really do trust her with that assessment!! oh and ripping out hearts like a pro I suppose, though that's from the comments threatening me (affectionately) for putting the characters through hell

What are your writing weaknesses? if I had to pick it would recycling plot beats. and I think too my ideas stay within the realm of bland, and tend to be pretty predictable. but I like sticking with that framework for the moment, and will venture out soonish, I know that :3c What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? only if I know the sayings myself and can do the translations personally. so, only Spanish, and even then. I tend to. avoid. unless it's small words (and when I write Jackie I can literally rip from game dialogue, so that helps) What was the first fandom you wrote for? SDFJFLKEOIJSFD FUCKING NARUTO ON FF.NET BABY!!! watched one season, but 12 year old me was like "all the cool kids are doing this!!" willingly, and for something I actively participated in? Kingdom Hearts. all those fics are lost to time

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? One Last Gig, by far. it just was so much fun, I'm writing the sequel, No Exit, because I love it dearly. and I love this version of V and Johnny. that V is my rat baby (even though my original V is still my lady love) and that Johnny is just aging like a fine wine again, thank you for tagging me <3 this was fun, and I was so soft seeing I was tagged along with some of the best authors in the fandom!!! ;-; tagging: I think anyone who sees this and writes fics should do it!!! and only if my lovely Rarby wants to she can!!

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Ten: Don’t Want to Lose Us

Summary: Sebastian decides to take a chance; Milena asks a hard question. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2030 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: None beyond series warnings.  Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Series Masterlist

A month after they married, they spent a weekend moving into the new house. Y/N’s assistant back in Los Angeles was packing up her things to send to New York, and had already sent a few boxes to get her started with her own things. Milena’s room was set up, Y/N and Sebastian had a bed to sleep in, and the rest of the boxes were unpacked as the week went on. 

Sebastian got up with Milena the following weekend and made breakfast. They watched a few cartoons, then decided to get out of the house for a while. 

“Let me tell Y/N, then we’ll go. Why don’t you go pick a couple toys to take in the car?”

Milena rushed to her room, anxious to start the selection process. Sebastian smiled after her, then headed to the master bedroom. Y/N was still sound asleep. She seemed to finally be sleeping well after so many things happening at once, and he hated to even wake her to tell her they were leaving, but he couldn’t resist the sleepy smile she usually gave him when their eyes met for the first time every day. Sure enough, when he leaned over her and said her name, softly caressing her cheek, her eyes fluttered open and that smile showed, sleepy but still bright. 

“Morning,” she greeted, stretching her arms above her head before relaxing them again, one hand settling against the arm Sebastian was leaning on. “Sorry for sleeping so late.”

“Nah, it’s not that late. I’m gonna take the little one to look at Halloween costumes, get her out of the house for a little bit. You sleep as late as you need to — I’ll call when we’re on our way back home, see if you need anything.”

Y/N yawned and rolled over, curling back around her pillow. “You’re the best. I’ll be waiting for your phone call.”

The way she smiled up at him, the way she looked so comfortable in his bed — in their bed — made Sebastian want to kiss her before he left. He hadn’t done so since the night of their wedding, with the heated kiss in their hotel room. Y/N could deny it all she wanted, but he knew that had something to do with how overwhelmed and closed off she was right after their wedding. After all, things had more or less returned to normal between them since then; that was a dead giveaway. As more moments to show affection presented themselves, like this one, Sebastian found himself more and more disappointed he hadn’t controlled himself better on their wedding night. 

You’re going to have to figure it out, he warned himself, because it’s only going to get more and more difficult to control yourself. 

He couldn’t let himself cross that line again and scare her away. He needed to come up with a plan to either stop these feelings from developing any further, or a way to find out if maybe Y/N was willing to explore more than friendship and a marriage of convenience between them. 

Date her. 

The thought was quiet and almost fleeting but Sebastian caught it before it was too far from his mind to catch a hold of. He heard about people dating their spouse all the time, but it hadn’t occurred to him until just now that the same way other couple stayed in love might be the perfect way to find out if his wife could fall in love with him. 

At the Halloween store, Sebastian made a quick call to see if his parents were available to babysit on short notice, then put the date on the back burner for the time being so he could concentrate on his time with Milena. 

“Uncle Seb?” she started as he lifted her out of her seat, making sure her toys stayed in the car. 

“What’s up, munchkin?”

Milena took his hand as they crossed through the parking lot. “Is my mama gonna come get me soon?”

He was gutted and guilty. His heart broke with the idea of telling his precious niece that her mama wasn’t ever coming to get her. He had been selfish, thinking so much of how things were going to work out with Y/N, and not enough about how Milena was doing. He sighed and turned back to the car with Milena. He opened the driver’s side door and sat her down. With a shaky inhale, he crouched down to her level. 

“I wish your mama could come get you, baby — not because I don’t want you with me, but I know how much you must miss her. I miss her every second of every day. She was my baby sister. Beautiful, just like you.” Milena’s face didn’t smile. “Remember when Bunica told you that your mama is in Heaven? It’s beautiful there. No one gets hurt, no one is sad. But when people go there, they have to stay. That’s why you’re living with me and Y/N, okay?”

Milena’s chin quivered and her bottom lip pouted out. She whispered, “Mama’s not coming?”

Sebastian didn’t have a chance to answer before the little girl was full-on crying. He took a deep breath to keep himself from crying and lifted her into his arms. He sat sideways in the driver’s seat and held her, promising that no matter what, he and Y/N would always take care of her. She would always have a home and would always be loved. 

“I know it’s not the same as being with your mama,” he comforted, “but you’re never going to be alone, Milena. We want you with us and we are always going to want you.”

He would remind her as many times as he needed to over the course of her lifetime, he knew. As her cries turned to whimpers, Sebastian made a mental note to narrow down the list of child counselors and therapists he and Y/N had already compiled, so that Milena could start that process as soon as possible. 

“Do you still want to go in here, or do you want to go home? Or we could go to the park?”

Milena sniffled. “Wanna look at the princesses.”

Sebastian smiled and stood from the car, making sure it was locked before positioning her on his hip and proceeding into the store. 

By the time Sebastian called Y/N, she was up and unpacking the last of the boxes. He promised to make lunch when they returned and warned her that before anything else could happen, Milena was going to want to try on her Halloween costume. 

“Also, that list that we made,” he commented, obviously trying to be discreet, “we need to narrow it down and start making some calls on Monday. I’ll tell you later what happened.”

“Oh, okay. The list is in the desk drawer — I made sure we kept good track of it. You guys be safe, please.”

“We will. See you soon.”

Y/N disconnected the call and went back to the unpacking. It felt good to have the boxes all emptied and the house set up. They would need to get a few things to fill the extra rooms, and Y/N still had some things coming from LA, but otherwise, they were settled. She broke down the boxes and put them out with the recycling, then got a sweater to keep her warm from the chilly air while she sat out on the back patio with a cup of coffee. 

While her feelings hadn’t changed in the last month — if anything, they had grown stronger — but, with Kennedy’s help, she had decided to embrace her life as it was. Sebastian hadn’t changed, Milena needed her; there was no reason for Y/N to be in a constant panic. With her calm came the return of their usual friendly exchanges of affection — though sometimes, Y/N had to admit, she had to wonder if the things Sebastian said and did were maybe coming from a place of feelings that matched her own. 

“Look! Look! M’really gonna be a princess!” Milena exclaimed, breaking Y/N from her reverie. She proudly held up the princess costume and grinned. 

Y/N made a show of being impressed. “That is so beautiful! A beautiful dress for a beautiful girl! Did you have so much fun looking at all of the things with Uncle Seb?”

Milena nodded. “We got pumpkins! But they’re not real.”

“Pumpkins? Ooh, c’mon, show me! Then we’ll try your dress on while Uncle makes lunch for us.”

The little one raced ahead, but Y/N took her time to catch up. She met Sebastian in the kitchen, kissing his cheek. He pulled her into a tight hug — tighter than usual. 

“You okay?” she frowned. 

Sebastian sighed. “Milena asked if her mom was coming to get her soon.”

“Oh, Seb …”

She broke the embrace for only a moment, to set her coffee cup down. She had learned over the years that when he felt in over his head, when he felt like he was drowning in whatever life had thrown at him, a good hug went a long way to getting Sebastian to the point where he felt like he could move forward and conquer each new obstacle. 

“That’s why you wanted to look at the list,” Y/N surmised. 

He nodded, still holding on to her. “I don’t want her to be completely broken, you know? You were right. We have to handle this now, before it gets worse. We’re lucky, I’d guess, that the night terrors aren’t happening more often.”

Small feet running through the house broke up their embrace. Milena was in her Halloween costume — although the dress was backwards, and the tiara was lopsided on her head. 

“You got changed all by yourself, look at you go,” Sebastian chuckled, fixing her tiara. “You are the most beautiful princess there ever was.”

“I agree,” Y/N grinned. “How about you and me go find some shoes in your closet to go with it?”

“Yay, yay, yay!” Milena cheered, leading the way to her bedroom. 

Y/N lingered behind. “You okay, for now?”

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, for now. Thanks, Y/N/N.”

She only smiled and went after Milena. Her heart was telling her to hold on to him longer, but her head reminded her that he wasn’t the only one who needed her. 

After lunch, when Milena was down for her afternoon nap, Sebastian decided to lay down for a nap of his own. Having slept in, Y/N wasn’t too sleepy, but she offered to lounge with him and watch some quiet TV while he napped. She leaned against the headboard, flipping through channels with the remote in one hand, and softly carding the fingers of her other hand through his hair while he rested. 

“Hey,” he whispered, taking her hand in his, “I had an idea. My parents are free to watch Milena tonight. Do you want to go to dinner with me?”

“Oh. Um, sure. Where do you want to go?”

He mentioned a place that was nice but not fancy. “We haven't done anything, just the two of us, since the wedding. I know Milena is our focus right now, and we’ve been getting the house settled, but I don’t wanna lose us, either.”

“Me either,” Y/N agreed. “What time do you want to go?”

He thought for a moment. “We can drop her off at seven-thirty, then leave from there?”

“Sounds good to me.”

With their plans in place, Sebastian closed his eyes again. Y/N resumed her channel flipping and running her fingers through his hair. While he slept, she mentally played back his words over and over again — too many times. 

I don’t want to lose us. 

She didn’t want to lose them, either, certainly, but Sebastian, it seemed was trying hard to hold on to their friendship. It reminded her that, despite a few moments of beyond-friendly affection, she was likely in these feelings alone. 

She wasn’t going to let this send her into another spiral. She would keep doing what she had been doing: loving Sebastian, loving Milena. Hoping and praying that this piece of life was meant for longer than a season. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @auriandthepussicats​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @itsmycorneroftheinternet​

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Choices - Parker

[i struggled with this one for sure. Started to write it like 4 times and just didn’t like it. I like it now, but I recognize it’s a little boring/is filler to get the story moving along. I’m psyched about the next part so keep an eye out for that!]

CW: angst, hard decisions, being trapped, fear/anxiety. Please let me know if I’m missing anything.

 Previous - Masterlist - Next

It had been days in the tunnel, days in the dull lights and recycled air. The tunnels were never meant to be a bunker, never meant to be a campsite or stronghold. There were some supplies, some rations, but not nearly enough. 

Parker sat alone, back up against the wall. They just felt numb, absently watching the others pace restlessly. In the end, almost twenty-five people found their way into the tunnels before they were sealed off. Or in. 

Twenty-five people, twenty-five humans that were safe. It was such a small percentage, so few of the safe haven’s numbers. They had no communications, no way to contact any of the others. There was no way to know if they had gotten to the main bunker, escaped, or were taken by whoever attacked. 

Please have gotten out. Please be getting ready to come back with help. Please, thought Parker as they rubbed the bridge of their nose, pushing their glasses out of the way. They had barely been able to sleep, barely been able to eat. 

They hadn’t known the arms that they had fallen into. Even now, they might not have been able to point out the person who comforted them. Even out of this small crowd. Parker adjusted how they were lounging, drawing up a knee to rest their elbow on. They felt awful about that. They wanted to know, they wished they could say thank you. They were embarrassed. Ashamed of how they had clutched onto that person and sobbed into the warm body with not so much as a thank you. 

There were some faces they recognized. Not well, but conversationally. Maybe they should have been more social, spent more time with the other, less time holed up in their room. Maybe if they had, they would recognize the other faces lined with worry and fear. 

Voices hushed to not cause a panic made their ears prick up. 

“We should tell the others. They deserve to know that there’s a-”

“Shh! No, we can’t. It’s far too dangerous. It just puts more people in danger.” 

A pause, and then. “I don’t want to die.” 

Parker’s head twitched toward the conversation, even as they willed their ears to stop working. Did they want to know? Their stomach churned at the possibility. The two wouldn’t be having such a hushed, clandestine conversation if there wasn’t a chance. Something that could save them. Something that could keep them safe. 

Parker wanted to know, and they weren’t the only one that overheard. 

“What? What do we deserve to know?” demand another voice. Parker looked up to see a tall, wiry man step forward. The two stopped their conversation immediately, glaring at the man. 

“Nothing, Jacques. It’s -” 

“There’s an emergency signal,” blurted someone. The group murmured, Parker sitting up straighter. The other figure’s shoulders slumped. 

“You lied to us?” asked the tall man - Jacques apparently. The two figures set their jaws in resolve. 

“Yes.” The group scoffed, shaking their heads. “But for a reason. All channels are blocked but our emergency signal. It’s too convenient, no way it’s a coincidence. They want us to contact the other bases for some reason, and I don’t trust it.” 

“I don’t trust you! You lied to us and said there was nothing we could do, but there is!” Jacques looked behind him to the others now crowded around. They were getting agitated. 

“I know, I understand,” one of the figures said, raising their hands in supplication. “I really do, but we can’t. We’re not the only base, and we can’t risk exposing the others like this. It’s a sacrifice that-” 

“Wait!” called out someone from the churning mass of people. Parker looked up, vaguely recognizing a woman, Rosalie, as she stepped forward. “Wait, please. We’re all stressed. We’re all afraid. But we need to make these decisions together. As a group.” 

Parker let their eyes close as the others talked around them. They felt sick. They were tired. They just wanted to go home, to be safe, like John had promised. 

Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him or you won’t be able to think about anything else. He did it to protect you, to make sure that you were safe. 

Does that mean I have to do everything in my power to make sure that others are safe? Do I have to follow his example? Or do I do what he tried to, and keep myself safe? Do I have to base my decisions around what he would have wanted? 

Can’t I do both somehow? 

“Does the signal only contact the other bases?” Parker asked, not yet opening their eyes. There was the slightest lull in the conversation. 

“What do you mean?” 

“We’re already exposed. They already know where we are,” said Parker, finally looking to the others. “Why bother with trying to keep our location a secret? Send the emergency signal everywhere, to anyone.”

“They won’t be able to track it that way,” mused one of the figures. “It would go to too many places, no way for them to figure out who is who. They can trace it back to here, but there’s no point.” They smiled, looked back to Parker. 

“Nice one.” 

Parker smiled back tiredly, taking a deep breath. There was a chance. 

It had only been a few minutes since they sent the distress call, and there was a sense of hopeful anxiety in the air. Parker had finally been able to eat some of the meager rations and drink some of the water from the canteens. Things were getting a bit better, looking a bit brighter. 

Jacques was pacing rapidly, wringing his hands. “What if no one responds? What if no one cares?” he muttered, mostly to himself. 

Parker swallowed and looked away. That moment wasn’t something for them to watch. Not their panic to view. They focused on the command screen, watching the light blink as it projected their call for help around. 

“-I don’t want to die. I shouldn’t have to die. I didn’t even want to come here, not really. They made me come here and now I’m not safe anymore.” 

Parker shifted away, turning their back a little more. Not their place, not for them. 

Rosalie was handing out small snack packs and they smiled. Some might view that as a waste of precious resources, but it was so dearly needed. They knew vaguely that Rosalie was a teacher, a caretaker for little kids. They kind of wished that they had been able to grow up here, go to elementary school here. Sure, they might not have been able to go on the field trips to the museums and the farms, but they would have had more memories of this place. When it was good and safe. 

“I’m not going to. I don’t have to. I, I, I want to live. I don’t care. I have to live. I have to.” 

The sound of nervous footsteps stopped abruptly and Parker’s brow furrowed. They were getting a bad feeling, a bit of intuition that something was off. Something was about to go wrong. 

“I’m not gonna die. I won’t. I’m sorry!” screamed Jacques as he bolted towards the door. Parker stood, and another person was after him in a flash, but it was too late. He smacked his palm across the button to open the door and unlocked it. 

“Stop!” it felt like the whole room screamed, Parker included. The door disengaged with a hiss. Parker was frozen, stance as if they were about to run but forgot how. 

You’ve doomed us all. 

~

@ghostcomit @lave-e @whump-me-all-night-long @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @highwaywhump @panic-and-chaos @mnmlover2002 @thehopelessopus (don’t know why I can’t tag you mnmlover2002)

[pls let me know if you want to get added or removed from the taglist]

[rocknrollsalad-moved]

“Halloween costume party meeting a blind date but oh it's my high school squeeze who broke my heart and is only back in town to shut down the candy factory”

Thanks to a lovely conversation with @moongoddess2k4 we are now blessed with this amazing, amazing prompt, if you will, for a Halloween Hallmark story if they did them like the Christmas ones. 

Read on to see how I ran with that idea and created a quick little something for the season. It was super fun to write and I wish I could have done a whole thing with it but there’s too much on my plate right now. 

Word Count: 3400 Triggers: some mentions of drinking/being drunk, loss of jobs, and implied future money struggles

Halloween wasn’t going to be the same this year. Decorations still adorn most doors, yards, and windows. Costumes seemed to disappear from shelves along with bags of candy. The traditions carried on as neighbors helped neighbors, a silent thing to keep a town that was built around Halloween in the spirit.

Hanging over the head of every resident, a joint burden, was the knowledge that this was the last Halloween for them. Stark Sweets and Treats would be closing its doors on November first. In those storm clouds not chased away by the sun was the reality that many of the people living here would be out of a job. Generations of candy makers, sorters, and wrappers now left on their own, without a severance package, one last bonus, or even a thank you card.

There was no future in candy anymore. Processed sugars were falling out of fashion and while no child wanted a box of raisins or an apple, parents wanted to hand out sustainably grown, sugar-free alternatives. Buzzwords, Bruce knew as much as people online spouted recycled rhetoric about saving the planet with their shift to these different treats. He’d argue with each post. Typing his nights away about the jobs they were taking, about the fallacy of that sustainable or organic sticker. GMOs weren’t what people were saying they were.

But no one listened.

What did a small-town high school science teacher know about genetically modified anythings? Never mind the multiple doctorates he held. Never mind the qualifications he had to speak on the subject. People couldn’t be reasoned with on the internet. Bruce was shouting into the void and doing nothing more than boiling his own blood.

It was mad worse by everyone pointing out he didn’t have a horse in this race. Not directly. There would still be children to teach. Year after year of the same projects and battling against boring lesson plans. He wasn’t losing anything. Instead, he’d be left to watch. Left to stand in front of his classroom trying to teach kids who carried the same weight as the adults, without the ability to bear such a thing. That’s who he fought for. These children didn’t need to know this level of hardship while trying to navigate their way to adulthood.

Most of their parents, their baby sitters, and classmates were putting on a brave face, though. Halloween kept this town afloat and while it was their last, they weren’t going to roll over and let it pass. Every annual event went just like they had for decades. Some people had done so well at pretending they weren’t waiting for the hammer to drop that they were actually having fun. And for it a moment that normalcy and false happiness rubbed off on the cranky science teacher who was never one for holidays of any sort. Even in a town built around Halloween.

As an outsider, Bruce wasn’t born with the Halloween spirit. It was gifted to him, though, year after year. Townsfolk who took pity on his pathetic attempts at decorating. Neighbors who baked treats and desserts left on his doorstep. Coworkers who brainstormed costume ideas and dragged him to parties. Each year that passed it got easier and easier for everyone to twist Bruce’s arm until they didn’t have to.

For the past few years, he’d been leaving cookies for his neighbors. A little charred on the bottom, decorated simply, but not a single house complained. The change must have emboldened some of his coworkers though as they recruited him for a night of costumed speed dating. It was the last time the town was doing something like this. They laid the guilt on thick. 

Bruce was among four other staffers who weren’t married, even one of the teachers who was dating someone went to witness it all. Many emails were exchanged for days leading up to the event. Who would wear what, despite Bruce’s numerous protests that knowing that would ruin the event. How they’d get there and which bar they were meeting at to discuss all the details. A never-ending stream of planning by people who should have been teaching their classes but everyone coasted around the holidays. 

The night would be simple enough. Bruce would go dressed in a ruined bed sheet, make sure that no one was interested in him, skip the gossipy drinks, and then two nights later at the big Halloween bash everyone would get to see their matches without obstruction.

In reality, this was a smart idea. Everyone was given a fair chance. Not to be judged on the superficial, with the exception of those few distasteful costumes that tried to sneak in, but on their personality. Answers to questions, conversational skills, it was what dates should be founded on. Not that Bruce thought he’d find a date here, no matter how ideal it was. Tagging along, instead, because his social circle was going. Because participating and being a part of the events was better than hearing about them the next day.

So he sat through a grueling two hours of three-minute dates. Listening to people both mock him for not trying and appreciating his classic callback sheet-ghost costume. Having insufferable conversations with people who didn’t understand how to listen or have the spotlight off of them. The worst was the number of Scream villains that were there, leaving a few to accessorize just to stand out. Which should have made Bruce’s costumes one of the better ones, at least he was unique. 

There was a particularly sweet Jason Voorhees that Bruce could have stood to have another three minutes with and that was far more than he’d expected to happen. He gave her favorable marks but, again, didn’t expect them to be returned.

In the last fifteen minutes, though, when Bruce was eyeing the door and thinking there was no way the last five people were going to be better than anyone before them, a werewolf sat down at the table. Promptly explaining that he wasn’t any werewolf but the Teen Wolf, hence the basketball shorts. Teen wolves were apparently very crucial to the basketball team. It was a reference Bruce didn’t get and the man seemed used to hearing that, if not still a little dejected. Running through the basic questions got them to Bruce’s job, to his doctorates, his expertise, and somehow to an argument about the merits of various alternative energy forms. A solid two minutes was spent citing facts and studies, managing to get heated enough that the host had wandered over to stand by their table.

What the host didn’t know was it was the most exciting conversation Bruce had had all night. An unnecessary argument that neither needed but both wanted. They were both right and though he couldn’t explain how, he knew they both understood the pointlessness of their argument. Both sides were right but the conversation was well informed, the Teen Wolf didn’t back down, and if Bruce thought he wanted to talk to Jason for three more minutes, he could have fought with this werewolf for three hours.

The few dates that followed were a blur, Bruce wasn’t sure he even spoke to the one. More than once he caught the werewolf looking back at his table. Whether the spirit of Halloween was watching over the town or it was fate, Bruce left the event with an unexpected feeling of success and far too many thoughts in his head. The one thing he didn’t count on had happened. He found a match.

He’d gone home, as he’d planned, but his coworkers brought the gossip to him the next morning. Waiting in his classroom with coffee. Everyone gushed (quietly as there was more than one hangover in the room) about the people they spoke with and Bruce made sure to wait until just before the first bell to say he found a werewolf who caught his interest.

Never before had his computer chimed with so many alerts. He had to mute it in order to teach but he was distracted and the kids weren’t any better. They dissolved various Halloween candy staples, carved pumpkins because someone donated their overflow and no other teacher wanted to deal with the mess, and Bruce kept the day easy. Everyone’s mind was on the party quickly approaching. And for the first time since moving here, Bruce found himself wishing it would come just a little faster. Not just so it’d be done and life could go back to normal until Christmas break.

For those few days, it seemed like no one talked about the factory closing. It wasn’t who was out of a job anymore but who was driving the tractor for the hayrides. Collectively a town decided to ignore their impending doom and had Bruce not been so wrapped up in it himself it would have been an interesting study.

Though underneath the excitement were murmurings that a Stark was in town. No one knew what for. Some hoped for the best, that’d they had seen things clearly and were going to announce that the factory would remain open. Others didn’t even try to mask their threats. The rest used logic, the town hall meeting on the first day of November was likely going to be led by Tony Stark as he thanked the community for their years of loyal service, offered nothing, and made himself feel good before going back to one of his many mansions to never think about them again. Comments that passed as quickly as they came, replaced by where to find a recipe or if the grocery store had taken eggs off the shelf yet.

Eventually all the gossiping and planning came to it’s natural conclusion. Halloween arrived and without sight or word from Stark. Bruce thought he must have some sense if he’s staying out of the way. Yet another thing to add to their list of Halloween blessings. Had Stark not been doing what he was, Bruce would have given him a bit of credit for allowing the festivities to carry on without him.

For most of the day’s events, Bruce stayed at home. He graded papers, watched a few shows, and kept things on an even keel. Not because he didn’t want to go out, he had no reason to since he didn’t have any children. He stayed home for his sanity. Crowds were never his thing and because he’d decided last night to attend the big dance in hopes of a speed date match, Bruce needed all the energy he could store. Though it did afford him far too much time to think about what it would feel like to learn no one wanted the reveal.

Staying home until he couldn’t handle the busy work anymore, Bruce made his way to the center of town. Talking to kids he currently taught, kids he’d taught in the past who were carrying children of their own, and running into a couple of people from work all helped to wrap the event in a warm feeling of welcome. The brisk air mixed with the food and blew around leaves, creating something nothing short of picturesque. As he took it all in, Bruce’s heart broke with the knowledge that the town would never feel like this again.

He bought popcorn balls from some grade school kids, drank what felt like a gallon of apple cider, and stocked up on candies for the rest of the fall. Bruce found a greater sense of peace and calm out among the crowd than he did at home but slowly families started to make their way home. Children were left with babysitters, teenagers went off to their parties deep in the woods that they thought no one knew about, and left the adults to their barn dance.

The nerves Bruce had been trying to avoid found their way to him as he wrote his name on a sticker, drew a little ghost and pressed it over the pocket of his flannel shirt. When the matches were posted right at center stage, Bruce held back. Maybe if everyone else paired up he wouldn’t even need to see. Except he needed to know. Before he could force his legs to carry him up to his fate someone stood in front of him.

“You? You were under that sheet?” the man asked

“I was. You were, uh? I don’t see your name tag.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think it went with my outfit.”

“Who says stuff like that?”

“I don’t know, me I guess.”

“I feel like I know you,” Bruce said, squinting in hopes it would help him figure it out.

The man stood there, watching Bruce with a single arched eyebrow, holding his breath in waiting. It took a minute, far too long if you asked either of them, but Bruce’s eyes went wide.

“Tony? Tony Carbonell? No! It can’t be. What are you doing here?”

“Business,” Tony said. Not exactly lying.

“God, I haven’t seen you since high school.”

“Science High. Home of the best or something like that.”

“Only if you applied yourself,” Bruce laughed at his own joke and it didn’t feel like it was his voice. He’d not laughed like that since...high school.

Repressed feelings came flooding back. The memory of how badly he wanted to talk to Tony when they were fifteen. They were from two different worlds but in constant competition for the top of their class. Bruce would have let Tony win if it meant they got to talk though. He hadn’t pinned for anyone as much or as hard since. Now he was standing face to face, talking to him like they were long-lost friends.

If that realization wasn’t enough, Tony decided to pile on when he said “If I’d have known it was a classmate under that sheet, I’m not sure I would have marked you down as my match.”

Bruce almost dropped his drink. “What?”

“Yeah, you were the only interesting conversation the entire night. I was just bummed we didn’t have another minute. We could have got ourselves kicked out.”

“Wh-” before Bruce could finish repeating himself he sucked in a hefty breath. “The werewolf?”

“Teen Wolf. I told you, man. C’mon, I thought you were smart enough to hold a thought for a day.”

“It’s been two and a half.”

“That’s still not that long.”

Scanning the room, Bruce desperately tried to find a familiar face. Anyone to help out with this situation. He was in over his head and had forgotten why this was a good idea. He wanted to bolt for the door. Not even the door, if he could break through the nearest wall and just run home it’d be preferred.

None of that happened. He was left to stand there with his first crush and talk about flirting with each other. In the course of the conversation, Bruce had fully regressed to his teenage self. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where to put his arms. Why didn’t he have something stronger than cider to drink? Of which he needed another gallon because his throat had never been this dry.

“Who was your pick?” Tony asked.

“Huh?”

“Who did you write down on the form? Who’d you wanna meet?”

“Um, you. The Teen Wolf.”

“Really?”

Bruce nodded to the stage, nearly clear now as everyone had found out whether or not a match had been made, silently telling Tony to go check if he didn’t believe him. Which Tony did. Walking away without a word. As soon as his back was turned, Bruce doubled over, hands on his knees, and breathing like he’d finished a marathon. Now was his chance to run. Yet, again, his feet didn’t want to move. Glued to the spot, waiting for Tony to come back and confirm what Bruce knew to be true. After all these years they’d finally matched.

Before he could coordinate his mind and body, make a swift but likely clumsy exit, Bruce stood up to find himself staring at one of his coworkers. She thought she’d put down a guy she had great chemistry with but they didn’t match and she was distraught. Not that she knew which of the men in the room were the one she was looking for so they were all suspect. Each of them awful in a randomly assigned way.

She’d made the assumption that Bruce hadn’t made a love connection either given he was standing alone and Bruce could have used this as an out. Escort her to the bar, drowning her sorrows, and lay low. Yet those words didn’t come out. Instead, he explained the situation. That he was waiting on confirmation from the tall, dark, and handsome man walking towards them. They had both written down each other’s disguise. Though he did leave out the part that they’d gone to high school together.

Tony came in just in time, nipping the protests and cries of how unfair it was that bordered on insulting. A charming grin that Bruce did not remember him having in school. In fact, Tony had little in common with his high school version. Whereas Bruce wanted desperately to grow another foot, Tony had. He looked like he worked out. Not in a lab, like Bruce, but a gym like people were supposed to. Everything was immaculate, his hair, clothes, smile, all of it. A far cry from just another one of the nerds. If Bruce didn’t know better, Tony almost looked like the kind of person to shove nerds in lockers.

But that couldn’t be true. Tony extended a hand towards Bruce. The slow music, a room full of people swaying back and forth as they excitedly talked about the speed dating and its outcome, Bruce knew what that meant. He’d watched enough movies. Trying to hide wiping his hand on his shirt before putting it in Tony’s, he accepted the dance. Gliding through this dream. So many other places boasted the magic of Christmas but in this moment, it didn’t hold a evergreen scented candle to Halloween.

The last time Bruce had danced with anyone, he’d been a child playing pretend with family. And yet it came easy, his hand in Tony’s, their arms around each other, and just enough distance to talk as they moved around. Like everyone around them, they talked endlessly. The conversation came easy, as unusual as that was for Bruce.

Somewhere between memories brought up by the songs the DJ played, what they’d done since high school, and watching as the dance floor emptied, the sun had gone down. Replacing that warm autumn light with string after string of lights above their head. The perfect glow as the smell of popcorn and funnel cakes had burnt off and bonfires had taken over.

“So what brings you here?” Bruce finally asked. The question had been sitting behind everything else they’d discussed. “It’s pretty far from where we met and I know my path here but you...you don’t live here, I’d have seen you before.”

“I don’t, I live in New York. Would you buy that I came for the spirit of Halloween?”

“Plausible. It is why most visitors come but you strike me as more of an Amityville Horror Halloween than caramel apples and corn mazes.”

“You’re not wrong,” Tony laughed. “Have you been there?”

“No, and you’re changing the subject.”

“And you’re too smart to fall for it. What if I told you no one has called me Carbonell in so long I almost forgot it was me?”

Bruce stopped the lazy circle they were shuffling in. “What do you mean?”

“It’s my mom’s maiden name. I went by it in school because my dad’s last name is, uh, recognizable and I didn’t want to be recognized. I mean, I still don’t want to be recognized as his but I’ve got his company, I’m trying to make it better. Make the name better.”

Facts were connecting for Bruce and he didn’t like where they were going. The data made sense but he needed to hear it. “What’s your last name then.”

Around them, the world seemed to stop and slowly fade away. Without the music, Bruce had come to a complete stop, staring at Tony and daring him to give the answer they both knew he would. The answer that would ruin Halloween.

“Stark.”

[hirazuki]

Ooo I'm curious about your hot takes on the Inuyasha reboot after reading your tags 👀

Ahaha, where to start XD Idk if they are hot takes, but here are my thoughts in bullet point form for coherency, I couldn’t figure out how else to organize them. Under a cut, as usual, because it got lengthy... as usual :D

We are 13 episodes in, and I still have no idea wtf is going on or what the series is actually about. And yes, I’m aware that we didn’t know of Naraku’s existence or of the overarching plot until at least episode 16 of that series either and Inuyasha was still very episodic in nature at that early point too, but here’s the thing: Inuyasha did not build upon a pre-existing series. For better or for worse, Yashahime has certain expectations to live up to that the original anime didn’t, by virtue of its being a sequel. Unfair? Maybe, but tough; that’s what happens when you make a sequel. Additionally, despite us not knowing The Main Plot™ of Inuyasha until later, the basic framework for it was laid out clearly by... episode 2? I think? Find and collect the Shikon Jewel shards. Boom, done. Were there distractions or fillers? Sure, but you never got the sense that the characters simply up and forgot about the shards. Even in fillers, the shards often made some kind of appearance. With Yashahime, there’s like three potential storylines going on: 1. The most obvious: most of our main cast from the OG is missing; where are they? Apparently no one in-story cares! :D Inuyasha, who’s that lol. I’m all for a sequel focusing on the new generation with cameos of the old crew; after all, they already had their own series. But this is like... no one cares about them? No one talks about them? And the more characters go about not mentioning them, the stronger their absence is felt. Like, for instance, Kaede knows Moroha is InuKag’s daughter. Moroha grew up on her own, doesn’t know her parents. Kaede doesn’t mention them to Moroha, doesn’t even spare a passing thought about them for the audience’s benefit, Moroha doesn’t ask. Kagome’s family in the present day meet Moroha, recognize her as Kagome’s daughter and... say nothing??? Souta shows Towa Kagome and Inuyasha’s old photos, but doesn’t say a word to Moroha?! Like. It makes no sense. By people not even acknowledging their existence, it makes the fact that they are nowhere to be found even weirder. Also the new gen girls don’t care about their parents or finding out who they were/are... like, okay, it would maybe be in character for one or two of them, but all three don’t give a fuck??? 2. Kirinmaru/the rainbow pearls: Idk how familiar you are with the story, but similar deal with Naraku and the shards here. Kirinmaru is being set up as the villain, still a mysterious figure; our new gen trio is supposed to collect the rainbow pearls that... some of his henchmen have? Or he is after them? Or is that Riku? Unclear. ANYWAY the new gen girls often forget all about the pearls’ existence :D 3. Setsuna’s memories: Setsuna’s dreams have been stolen by the dream butterfly and they need to get them back, because without her dreams she has no memories and is unable to sleep. Cool! Finally a solid, easy-to-follow plot line! Except wait! Towa, who supposedly made it her goal to get Setsuna’s sleep back, forgets all about it! All the time! Like, none of them make an effort to look into this other than being like “oh yeah, know anything about the dream butterfly?” to random folks every now and then. The Inugang back in the day was putting some grad school level research towards their goals, just saying. It just feels like everything’s all wishy-washy and there’s nothing really solid tying the series together. People just remember shit exists when it’s convenient.

.

Character development is MIA. I’m not expecting ground-breaking char dev in 13 episodes (though I do know 12 episode series that were phenomenal in that regard), but like... I do expect the series to focus on building the dynamics between the main three characters. So far, the series is more focused on teasing the audience with glimpses and promises of the OG cast instead. The creators are using nostalgia and bait (esp of a certain pairing) to drive interest in the series, rather than developing the new characters as fully-fledged characters for their own sakes. 

.

Moroha is was the only thing I actually liked about the series. She is a little spitfire and you can somehow instantly see both Inuyasha and Kagome in her, while she also remains very uniquely herself; I have never seen such a successfully developed main pairing child in any series. She featured quite prominently in the first few episodes -- and unlike both her parents, she’s got a great memory and knowledge of lore -- where she balanced funny moments with badass fighting moments and being the token supernatural encyclopedia. It was great! And then... they’ve like... forgotten her. She’s been left behind so many times by the twins. She’s the butt of every joke. She’s become the type of comic relief that’s, well, insulting. More like a buffoon than anything else. And it’s basically all for the sake of giving the floor to Towa :/

.

Setsuna is okay. Not offensive, but unremarkable. She’s got her dad’s personality but like way toned down due to her different growing up circumstances, which is nice, but like... I feel she isn’t given any room to grow or breathe or anything. She’s also basically there as a device to enhance Towa’s development.

.

Towa... oy. I tried to like her, I really did, but she just doesn’t work for me. They set her up having a very Kurosaki Ichigo type deal with beating up bullies and getting into trouble at school and shit -- I’m fine with that. That’s cool. Esp if it’s linked to not feeling like she fits in bc she’s a hanyou? Awesome. Except once she travels back in time to the feudal era it’s all “Oh killing is bad you shouldn’t kill people” and “even though they attacked me I can’t possibly hurt them” and “you need to empathize and talk things out” and “friendship is magic” and shit. It feels like she had a personality transplant, it literally makes no sense. Her design is totally nonsensical too -- out of everyone at her school, she’s the only one dressed in a bright white suit? Do protags not wear the school uniform? Someone should tell Kagome lmao. She’s a pro at hand to hand, and she can absorb demons’ powers and fling them back at them like a personified Tessaiga, and she has a lightsaber sword, and she’s immune to miasma, and -- like... you get it. It’s too much. It’s way too OP for the type of universe that Inuyasha/Yashahime is set in. She’s hanyou for fuck’s sake; remember all the training Inuyasha had to go through? When he couldn’t lift his sword? When his sword attacked him? Sango, Miroku, Kagome, even Sesshomaru all had trouble with their weapons and had to work to become stronger. But Towa? Nope. Towa is straight out of the Yas Queen/Girl Boss manual, so she gets a free pass on everything.

.

UGH they are doing the VLD/bad writing thing where things happen (like, BIG THINGS) and none of the characters actually react to them. Or stuff happens and there are no consequences. No one ever talks about anything. It’s wild.

.

Everyone has amnesia!! :D People either don’t know or don’t remember anything or anyone. People who absolutely should know things all of a sudden magically don’t know them. Like, Kohaku -- traveled with an undead priestess, spent years in the company of demons, traveled with Sesshomaru... and yet had NO CLUE that Setsuna is Sesshomaru’s daughter or that she is hanyou, despite her living and working with his team of demon slayers all this time. Like... how, man. How. And Kaede! Don’t get me started. Since when does she perpetuate random demon-boogeyman type stories as facts? Demon children will kill each other in the nest so that only the strongest one will survive, therefore Setsuna must have killed Towa when they were infants. O_O What are they, sharks? Has she been hanging out with Kisame? Wtf?? And she’s speaking about Sess’s kids as though she doesn’t know him or anything about him, when she has had Rin under her roof all these years. It just makes. no. sense.

.

Things that happened in the original series are happening again now! Because that’s the best we’ve got, recycled plot elements wooo! No, but really, characters that died or things that were resolved in Inuyasha keep coming back. Why? What was the purpose of bringing back Kinka and Ginka? To have a foil for Towa and Setsuna as twins? Someone please tell Sunrise they can just create new characters. Like, it’s one thing to have call backs to the original or cameos, references, whatever. But like... this is entire (dead) characters and interactions.

.

No one knows how long it’s been since the original series ended. Fans initially heard 20 years from promo material, then “over 15″ and “10 years since” in-series regarding two different events, and now in a future episode summary we’ve gotten 18 years since Hosenki II gave Inuyasha the black pearl. But like, which black pearl? Because the one in Inuyasha’s eye doesn’t exist anymore, but Hosenki II had told Inuyasha that it would take 100 years for him to produce one. So, are we retconning that or where the fuck did it come from? Also, this doesn’t help one bit, it just confuses things even more. Back to the point, though, we have no coherent timeline or real frame of reference whatsoever, and I’m betting it’s in large part to keep the mystery of who is Sesshomaru’s wife going, as it keeps Rin’s age very vague. Everything is vague and mysterious in Yashahime, to the point where no one knows what’s going on, in fandom or in-story even. It’s kinda like how too much plot twist/shock reveal ruins a story, too much mystery does the same. It’s insane that both shippers and antis of that ship can lay equal claim that the “18 years since” announcement works in their favor.

tl;dr: Idk man, Yashahime is a clusterfuck of a series. Even if the mother of Sess’s twins is either of the characters I ship him with, I will still not like the series. There’s no saving this writing. Every episode feels like this:

[diamond-song42]

Card Shark 122: Alicorn Amulet

Happy 2021 everycreature! I know it’s been a while since the last Holiday Dumpster Fire Shark - and my website still isn’t finished yet - so you may be asking yourself, “what in Equestria is happening?!”

Well, I’ll tell you what’s happening. University has, as usual, been hectic. Building a website with many multilayered tags for organization purposes is harder than it sounds. I’ve also been applying to internships as they are vital in the field of work I intend to enter - and got approved for one starting this June, which I am over the moon about! But add all that to some stressful family and social events - surgeries, layoffs, online feuds - and you have another extended Shark break!

So because of that, I have a new plan. I am going to finish the Holiday Dumpster Fire Card-a-Thon, even though we are well past the holidays. I also have a certain card I want to write about for my birthday, even though it will be long past my birthday. After that? I’ll see where my writings and the cards take me.

But with that comes an announcement. This will be the final Shark I post to The Di-Light Zone.

I have decided that since we are moving on to cards labelled as legal in the current Core format, it would be fitting to continue writing about them on the new site. I don’t know when everything will be finished, but I want everyone to know that Card Shark has never left my mind. During class sessions, showers, viewings of my favorite shows... I’ve thought about how I don’t just want to end Card Shark. I’ve fostered it for too long to let it go this easily. And because of that, I cannot wait to share with you all this archive of writings that I have been working long hours on!

Now to continue with business as usual one last time here in The Di-Light Zone. Today we’re covering Marks in Time with a Resource that seems like a prime farming tool... I’m surprised I haven’t seen more of it. Let’s pick apart the “Alicorn Amulet!”

Just put one of these on and you too can be a highest level unicorn! There aren’t a lot of Resources you can play on Troublemakers, and this one might be the most powerful of them all. This costs 1 AT, 1 Purple req, and 1 White req, which is... amazingly cheap for a Resource of this rarity. You play the Amulet on any of your Troublemakers. (No opposing Troublemakers will be sporting this thing!) There are two parts to this Amulet: first, it makes the host Troublemaker Epic and gives it +3 power. Epic Troublemakers can be challenged by either player and are usually associated with big villains like the Pony of Shadows or the Legion of Doom. By itself, that is pretty great. You can turn non-Epic Troublemakers into Epic Troublemakers to farm for your own gain. But then there’s the other part: during your Main Phase, you can pay 1 AT to move that Troublemaker. Moving a Troublemaker can be useful when your opponent sets themselves up to continually confront a Problem and avoid your Troublemaker. And just to recap, this can all be done for a minimum of 1-2 AT. THAT is scary. A smaller Troublemaker like Winterzilla can be boosted to 7 power while a higher Troublemaker like the Pony of Shadows (even if it is already Epic) can be boosted to 10. You can get rid of your own Troublemakers and get points when your opponent doesn’t want to. And you can play leapfrog with a Troublemaker, jumping from Problem to Problem. It’s a pretty ingenious farming technique, especially if you use Troublemakers that benefit you and you wouldn’t normally use for farming. There’s a reason this amulet is Unique.

So where has this thing been on the competitive scene? Frankly, besides the Resource removal, I don’t see many technicalities that could be wrong with it. It’s easy to play, it’s cheap, and it’s got a fun niche! Yet I think the biggest problem facing this card is that it is too niche. Besides already-Epic cards, most commonly seen, useful Troublemakers only have a maximum of 0-1 bonus points. I rarely see any farming technique use Troublemakers with less than a 2 point turnout. And the few non-Epic Troublemakers that have at least 2 bonus points don’t exactly have a lot going for them in what they do. The first Pony of Shadows can frighten a Friend at its Problem. Grumpie Pie is coming close to hitting a lot of banlists. The goal of The Smooze, Creeping Crud is to stick around and repeatedly flip off any opponents who try and defeat it. Timberwolf... well, we don’t talk about Timberwolf (at least until I write a formal Shark on it). Even if played on an already Epic Troublemaker, depending on the Troublemaker, the extra power can be easy to overcome. Regardless, if played on the right Troublemaker, I still think this could be a threat against certain decks.

Here’s a few more cards that may or may not be wearing one of Zecora’s doorstops:

*Scootaloo, Creature Catcher. Ok, so I frankly couldn’t find a lot of cards that I thought meshed well with this thing. Scoots here exhausts and lets you play a Troublemaker for free. That’s 1 AT (maybe more?) you can save to play an Amulet on the Troublemaker once it is revealed. Blue/Purple/White just became a more viable option for a tricorn deck with the inclusion of Legion of Doom, Frightful Foes and Being Big Is All It Takes in New Dawn... even if neither of those cards really heavily support Troublemakers. Time to reiterate my Card Shark catchphrase: “Every AT counts”. It’s just a nice little trick to help you keep some pocket change.

*Hoity Toity, Discerning Eye. If Princess Luna, Midnight is any indication, Orange/Purple/White might be an even more viable tricolor combo than Blue/Purple/White. Hoity Toity essentially allows you to recycle Friends and Resources in your discard pile once - if those Friends or Resources would leave play after that, they are banished. I don’t say this lightly: Hoity Toity is one of my all-time favorite MLP:CCG cards. Here, he will allow you to replay Amulets on your Troublemakers. Once one of your Troublemakers is defeated or dismissed, you can just replay your Amulet on the next Troublemaker you play, simple as that! As with any Hoity Toity strategy, I advise two things: one, you need to keep a close eye on your discard pile and make a plan in case your opponent is able to shut down access to your discard pile before you can get to it. Two, I’d run multiple copies of every card in your deck so you have as many opportunities as possible to replay things with Hoity Toity.

*Cozy Glow, Double Dealer/Fluttershy, Pony Pirate/Repulsor Blast/any card that allows you to bypass Troublemakers and confront Problems. The Alicorn Amulet does make a Troublemaker Epic - even if it’s your own Troublemaker, it prevents you from confronting your own Problems. At least it does... when you don’t have any cards like these at your disposal. If you still want to get points off your Problem while your Amuleted Troublemaker sits there, you have several options at your disposal. Depending on your overall deck strategy, you’ll have to pick the option(s) that’s right for you.

Thank you so, so much for reading this edition of Card Shark! It feels bittersweet to say goodbye to The Di-Light Zone... but the magic of friendship will always be strong here. The (not Holiday anymore) Dumpster Fire Card-a-Thon will continue on the new Diamond’s Corner with an Event from Defenders of Equestria that was frankly hard to pick because DoE has so many decent Events. As I’ve said previously, I’ll make a formal announcement here once the site goes live. But until I see you again, my friends, whether on this site or the new one... Diamond out!

[arckook]

around and around - two

pairing: cho seungyoun x reader, kim wooseok x reader

au: idolverse

warnings: none

wordcount: 3.9k

description: you’ve had a one-sided crush on your close friend seungyoun for who knows how long, but things don’t stay so black and white when he introduces you to his new groupmate kim wooseok.

next

“Cool outfit.”

You talk through the mouthful of noodles you’re currently chewing, as Seungyoun spins around in front of you in his blue and black ensemble.

“I know, right?” he says, looking excited. “I think these are the best ones since the first outfits.” “What, your red ones?” at his nod, you nod back. “Yeah, those were cool too.” “What would you even call this style?” Seungyoun asks, checking himself out in the mirror to your side. “Like, techy or something?” “I was thinking dark superhero,” you suggest, slurping up some more noodles. “Don’t you have to go soon? I feel like your leader will be mad at me for taking up your time.”

“Seungwoo-hyung?” Seungyoun shakes his head. “No way, he’s not that strict with me and Wooseok since we’ve already experienced all of this stuff.”

“Oh,” you hum, finishing up the last of your cup noodles. You know you really shouldn’t have eaten that, but ever since your head manager Sungjoon went on leave a few weeks ago, your female managers have been a lot less picky about what the four of you are eating- and you’ve all been taking advantage of that.

“By the way,” you speak up again as you take the ramen cup over to the sink to wash it out so you can recycle it. “How’s Kim Wooseok?”

“Wooseok?” Seungyoun sounds a little confused. “I mean, he’s good. Did you guys talk a lot or something?” “Not really,” you reply honestly, tossing the ramen cup in the recycling and going to sit back down on the couch, smoothing your hands over your pants. “Just a little bit.”

Truthfully, you haven’t spoken to Wooseok since those very brief texts a few weeks ago. You did see him just for a moment earlier when you went to drop by X1’s waiting room, which is when Seungyoun decided he wanted to hang out with you while the other music show performances were going on.

You’d been nervous at first, about hanging out with Seungyoun. You thought he might ask you why you left in such a rush that day, and you still felt a little awkward, honestly. But he hadn’t, and the two of you have known each other long enough to start talking with few inhibitions.

“He asked if you were feeling better, right?”

Surprised, you frown as your head snaps over to Seungyoun, who’s now leaning against the makeup counter in the room. “Huh?”

Your friend frowns back at you. “Wooseok told me you hurried back that night because you were suddenly feeling sick. He said you mentioned it while I was gone. I gave him your number so he could ask if you were feeling better.”

“Oh, right,” you nod, smiling, going along with the story. “Sorry, it’s been a long week so it kind of slipped my mind. Yeah, that’s all he asked about.”

The conversation goes on until both of you decide it’s time to go back to your respective groups to touch up makeup before you go on stage, but something keeps nagging at you.

He couldn’t even bother to ask you himself if you were feeling better, even though Wooseok told him you were sick.

Does he even care at all?

That night, you stare at your phone, the empty text bar staring back at you, somehow feeling menacing. You’ve typed out the message a few times, then decided there’s no point to sending it, then feeling the urge to send it again.

You sigh in frustration, writing it out one more time.

Wooseok-ssi, did you tell Seungyoun that I was sick a few weeks ago? When we all had dinner?

“Whatever,” you mutter, pressing send spontaneously and then chucking your phone to the other end of your bed so you can pretend you didn’t just send that.

Ding!

You groan. You just threw it over there, and now you have to sit up and reach all the way across your bed?

Despite the inconvenience, you lean over and grab your phone from where it had been precariously sitting halfway off of the edge of your bed.

Yes. You were acting weird so I had to make something up.

You don’t know what you were expecting, but Kim Wooseok really just seems like a straightforward type of guy.

You roll over onto your stomach, trying to think up a reply. Or should you even reply? It’s not like you’re friends with him, and he already answered your question.

Oh, well, thanks for that! Seungyoun-oppa suspected nothing thanks to you :)

That message might be a little bit cringy, but you’re just trying to come off as nice to him, since he probably already has a weird impression of you with the way you reacted to him realizing you like Seungyoun.

If you’re so thankful, give me money or something

You let out a snort at his response. Okay. Maybe this guy isn’t as cut and dry as you thought. You’re trying to think of something witty to respond with when your phone dings again.

Good luck on continuing your promotions, Y/N-ssi. Goodnight.

You smile a little at the thoughtful message.

Thanks, goodnight!!

You send your own message of goodnight back, then set your phone on your nightstand, knowing you should get to sleep.

Jamiezzz wooahhhhh, Y/N!!!!! you look hot 😋😘

You laugh at Jimin’s message in the groupchat. Along with her text, she’d sent a few of the pictures from your latest sportswear endorsement. You and Soohyun had done the advertisements together, and while your youngest groupmate had felt totally comfortable in the skin-tight clothing, you were a little awkward during the whole thing. You guess it turned out well though, since the pictures of you Jimin attached honestly did look pretty hot.

Hyunggu🤪 There will be an article with 48739857382 comments about these pictures in like 2 hours, bet

Beoneon I thought you did this photoshoot with Soohyun Y/N?

You thirst over my lil sis again and I’ll fight you for real if we ever end up on a show at the same time

You cackle as you send your reply to Vernon, knowing he had asked his question with total innocence, and would be really embarrassed to read what you implied.

“Look that way,” the stylist doing your hair points to the left, so you look that way, awkwardly holding your phone up to your face so you can see the screen still.

Beoneon I literally didn’t mean it like that but ok

Jamiezzz guys do better you need to hype Y/N up NOW!!! she said this was a challenging thing for her

You hahahaha its ok

Hyunggu🤪 So I have to hype up Y/N but all my pics just get roasted? Make it make sense

Jamiezzz that’s cuz you a fool

You chuckle to yourself at your friends’ antics, then scroll back up and look at the photos of yourself again. Why hasn’t Seungyoun said anything?

Well… he’s probably busy. But then again, his group ended promotions two weeks ago when you last saw him at MCountdown. They probably just got back from Thailand yesterday. Your fingers hover over the photos. It’s not that you’re worried about what he thinks of how you look. You’re just curious.

Youn You worked hard, Y/N👍🏻

You read the message probably ten times over as soon as it pops up on the screen, unable to keep a giddy smile from rising on your lips.

Until that’s all that he says, the conversation in the group chat going on without him.

You worked hard.

You set your phone down in your lap, a frustrated sigh passing your lips. He won’t even say that you look pretty. He’s never really said something like that. He probably doesn’t even think of you in those kind of terms.

“Something upsetting happen?” the stylist asks you. You smile at her through the mirror. “Nothing important.”

This time, at a get-together with all of your friends, plus Kim Wooseok who has tagged along again, you don’t sit next to Seungyoun. You doubt he notices, but you did it on purpose.

It’s not really dinner out somewhere like you usually do- you all just decided to hang out, drink beer around a floor table at Jimin’s apartment. You’re leaving to go on a trip with your members to film for your reality show in a couple of days, and Vernon is on a short break in between tour dates, so it’s the last time you’ll all be able to gather for at least a few weeks.  

“Aren’t you two tired? I feel like you guys have been working nonstop for the past two months.” Nathan, who has finally made an appearance at one of your gatherings, refills everyones’ glasses with beer.

“Uh-huh,” Vernon answers halfheartedly, leaning back against the couch behind you. You pick up your glass and take a swig. “Tired is an understatement.” “That new manager isn’t giving you guys a break, huh?” Jimin asks you, which you nod at. “Yeah. He booked us to film a CF the literal day after we get back from Hawaii.” “Too bad that Sungjoon guy quit,” she hums, offering you a sympathetic expression.

You’ve been doing a good job tonight, of pretending like you don’t have feelings for Seungyoun. You’ve been talking a lot more to Vernon and Jimin since they’re next to you, and with all the drinking games going on, there hasn’t been a whole lot of group conversation.

That changes, though. Of course it does.

“Out of beer!” Hyunggu eventually announces, gesturing around to all of the empty glasses on the table. “Who’s going to get more?”

You stand, brushing down your clothes. “I will. I need some fresh air.” “Someone go with her,” Jimin mutters, slumped over on the couch. “It’s a dangerous world for women.”

You roll your eyes, ready to object-

“I’ll go. Come on, Y/N.”

Surprised, you look over as Seungyoun stands up, scooting behind Wooseok and Hyunggu to get into the main part of the living room.

“Alright,” you say, shrugging to seem nonchalant. “Be right back,” you tell your friends, grabbing your bag off of the kitchen counter.

Seungyoun puts his hand on top of your head as soon as you walk out the door of the apartment, ruffling your hair. “No more drinks for you when we get back, okay?” “What?” you laugh and give him a skeptical look as his hand slides down from your head to wrap around your shoulders. “Cho Seungyoun, I have the right to get wasted before I go on vacation.” “You already drank a lot,” he says, shaking you gently. “Your new manager will get mad at you.” “How do you even know that,” you grumble, even though he’s totally right. “I can tell,” he says, smiling down at you.

Your heart is beating furiously fast.

Seungyoun looks the best like this, you think. When he has no makeup on, and his hair is just falling over his forehead unstyled, and he’s wearing a hoodie and jeans. When his smile is calm and relaxed and for you. When he doesn’t feel like a public figure, who people know and love, but just him. Just Seungyoun.

He lets go of you when you get into the elevator, and immediately you miss the feeling of his arm wrapped around you.

“The two of us haven’t hung out together in a long time,” Seungyoun comments as the elevator starts descending. You glance over at him and he meets your eyes. “And you keep being too busy.” “I’m not the only busy one between us,” you tell him, patting his arm. “Anyway, we’re hanging out right now.” “We’re just going to the convenience store to get beer,” he chuckles. “Kind of a boring hangout session if you ask me.”

That stings. You look away, at the elevator doors, at the ground. Anywhere but at him.

You wish you could tell him. It’s not boring to you, doing something like buying cheap beer at a corner store with him. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing if you’re doing it with him. But you guess that he’s bored with you unless something fun is going on.

“Yeah,” you agree softly.

“Anyway, let’s hangout when you get back! When both of us are less busy, obviously.” Seungyoun continues the conversation without even a pause. “I don’t think that’s really possible, though,” you respond, feeling half-hearted now that you’ve been reminded that his smiles and gentle touches mean nothing to him. “You’ll probably have a comeback and then it’s award season.”

“We’ll make time for it somewhere,” he says, then holds out his pinky as the elevator doors open. “Promise?” You look up at him, reluctant, but give in, hooking your pinky around his. “Promise.” “Yay!” Seungyoun shakes your joined pinkies, then lets go of your hand to open the door to the apartment complex, leading you out into the crisp air of Seoul at night. “I’ll hold you to it.”

What happened last night?

You’ve read Kim Wooseok’s message a few dozen times at this point. He sent it this morning, at around ten. It’s ten pm now, and you still haven’t answered.

You’d figured he would have noticed that your mood was a little dampened after you came back to Jimin’s apartment with Seungyoun, more alcohol in tow. Even though Seungyoun advised you to stop drinking, the way he kept smiling and laughing cluelessly made you want your mind to be a little foggy. You’d been a little quiet, but that’s how you get when you drink anyway, and your friends probably hadn’t noticed anything different.

But Kim Wooseok seems to have the perceptive skills of a fortune teller.

You and Soohyun had gone to get dinner together after doing a pretty long vlive earlier, but now you’re alone by the Han river, having wanted some time to yourself to think before you go on the trip with the girls.

Your thumbs hover over the screen, but instead of typing, you just sigh, looking out over the river. You like the river a lot. When you were a trainee, you used to come and sit on the banks with the other trainees and eat snacks from the convenience store after practice. You were supposed to be studying when you didn’t have practice, but you always thought if you debuted, you wouldn’t need to have good grades anyway.

You’d been really stressed out, in those days. Worried about your debt to the company, whether you were good enough to debut, missing class all the time to go to special dance seminars. You’d been so anxious about the company finding out that you went on a date with one of your classmates that you told him the next day you didn’t think you could actually date him.

You should’ve just dated him. Maybe then you would have gotten in trouble, and then never developed an interest in Seungyoun because the experience of getting yelled at by the CEO would have scarred you.

You shake your head, laughing a little at yourself.

Ding!

Expecting a text from one of the members or your manager, you look down at your lap, eyes widening when you see the text.

Are you sitting by the river right now?

“What the…” you stand up immediately, looking around with a frown. Is Kim Wooseok literally a fortune teller or something? A psychic? Whatever someone who can see the future is called.

How did you know that?!?!

You text back, squinting to try and see if anyone walking around looks like him.

Hold on.

“Hold on?” you repeat out loud, in awe. What is going on?

You stand there in confusion for about twenty seconds, until someone walks off of the bridge that’s nearby and starts walking directly towards you.

“Are you a psychic?” you ask Kim Wooseok when he approaches you, hands tucked into his coat, mask over his mouth, glasses on. You see his cheeks lift up slightly like they do when he barely smiles. “Yup.” You give him an incredulous look. “Be honest.” “Are you telling me you actually believe in psychics, Y/N-ssi?” Wooseok says, his head tilting slightly to the left. “I was walking with a friend and saw you.”

You squint at him, not answering. This time he actually laughs, probably in disbelief. “What? You believe in psychics more than that?”

“No,” you start, crossing your arms. “That just doesn’t make sense. You don’t even live over here. It’s nighttime so it’d be hard to see me even from close by, but you somehow spotted me from that bridge?” “So what, you think I’m stalking you?” Wooseok says, looking unimpressed. “I’m just saying it’s weird,” you reply, clasping your hands together and looking around. You hear Wooseok chuckle under his breath, which kind of surprises you because he’s usually pretty serious.

“Anyway…” you start, since your legs are tired from all the dancing you did in your vlive earlier. “Want to sit down?” Even though you can’t see his whole face, you can tell that Kim Wooseok is skeptical. “On the pavement?” “Hey, there’s a step!” you point at where you’d been sitting before. Yeah, it’s just the side of the river, not one of those pretty grassy banks, so it’s just concrete steps. “Well, even if you won’t, I am.” you sit back down, stretching out your legs.

“Whatever,” you hear Wooseok mumble, and then sit down next to you.

A few seconds pass in silence, and then he speaks up again.

“It was really easy to spot you because you’re not wearing a mask, and you’re wearing the same sweater you were yesterday.”

You look over at him with wide eyes, and then down at yourself, and then laugh. “Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right. It was on my chair so I just put it on before coming out.” “Why don’t you wear a face mask?” Wooseok asks, sounding curious. “Don’t you care if people notice you?” You shake your head, leaning back on your hands. “People don’t really come up to me at night even if they recognize me. I think that happens more with male idols. Anyway, masks are stuffy and I’m not doing anything bad so I’m gonna show the world my face.” Wooseok shrugs. “As long as you don’t care if Dispatch tracks you down or something like that.” “Are you nervous?” you grin mischievously as you look sideways at him. “There could be an article out tomorrow about us meeting each other at night.” He glares. “Don’t even joke about that. My career would take a blow.” “What about my career?” you ask, scrunching up your brows. “That part isn’t relevant to me.”

“Pfft,” you flip your hair over your shoulder. “Whatever. I’m sure even if they got pictures of us your company would pay anything they asked to make sure nothing would get released.” “Probably.”

“By the way,” you say, looking at Wooseok out of the corner of your eye, a little sheepish. “Sorry I ignored your text. It’s kind of awkward that you showed up out of nowhere before I replied.”

“I expected you to ignore it,” he says. “You seem bad with confrontation.” “You can say that again,” you mutter.

“...He said something, didn’t he?” Wooseok says, looking over at you. “Seungyoun.” You match his gaze, teeth biting into your bottom lip. You look away. “It’s not that he said something in particular. It’s just that sometimes I realize that… that he just doesn’t care about me the same way I care about him.”

Wooseok is quiet for a moment, then he sighs under his breath, but he doesn’t talk.

“Sorry,” you tug on your fingers, chuckling although you know it sounds kind of strained. “I don’t mean to complain to you, I know we’re not really friends or anything…” “You don’t talk about your problems to people, do you?” he says, turning to face you. Still fidgeting, you shrug. “Just my members sometimes, I guess. I don’t want to trouble anyone.” Wooseok sighs again, a sharper sound this time. He looks away from you, and out of your peripherals, you can see him looking up at the sky. “I get that.”

“Well if you have problems, you can tell me about them if you want,” you blurt out, not really knowing why. Wooseok looks at you, his expression a mix of surprise and confusion. “I’m a good listener and I give good advice.” “Nothing about how you handle your personal issues makes me believe that.” You bite your lip again. “I mean… I’m good at giving other people advice, I’m just bad at implementing it in my own life.” He pauses, then gives a short nod. “Hm.”

“How about this then?” you say, turning towards him completely. “I’ll be your personal advice-giver, and in return, you can keep me updated on Seungyoun.” “Updated?” Wooseok looks unconvinced. “I told you I’m not a stalker.” “Not like that,” you roll your eyes. “I just mean, like… I don’t know. Bring me up and see what he says. Or, if he shows interest in another girl. I want to know so I can force myself to give up on him if things look too dire.” “I think things are already dire for you,” Wooseok mutters, but it sounds like he made it purposefully loud enough for you to hear. He speaks up louder after that. “I don’t want your bad advice, but I’ll help you if you buy me food.”

Well. That’s honestly probably a better idea.

“Deal.” you hold out your hand. Wooseok looks at it, still seeming skeptical, then reaches out and grasps it. His hands are pretty, you notice, as he shakes yours once, firmly.

“Don’t be weird about it,” he says, a warning tone in his voice. “What?” you scrunch your nose. “I’m not weird.” At this, Wooseok laughs. Actually laughs, not the awed one from before. “Not weird? I’m amazed you even said that.” “Whatever,” you shrug, leaning back on your hands again. “People like my personality.” “I’m sure your fans find it… endearing.” “Why’d you have to say endearing like that?!”

“What’re you so peppy for?” Eunmi asks when you get back to your apartment. You shrug, dropping your keys in the dish by the door. “Just ‘cause.”

She gives you a doubtful look as she mixes up what looks like some bibimbap at the breakfast bar. “Did Cho Seungyoun text you or something?” “Nope,” you say, popping the p. “I’ll see you in the morning, unnie!” “Huh?” she calls after you. “L/N Y/N, I swear if you went out to see him-”

You shut your bedroom door behind you, feeling very content.

You pull out your phone, tapping on Kim Wooseok’s name, and snap a selfie with the peace sign up to send to him.

Let’s work hard, Wooseok-ssi! Pick a place to eat, for when I get back from Hawaii~~

A few minutes go by while you take off your makeup and do your skincare routine before you check to see if he’s responded.

Just go to sleep 

You nod to yourself. That seems like him.

You sleep well that night.