#recognizes* I HATE AUTOCORRECT WHY DO YOU NEVER WORK

[fifteenthewolf]

This was one of my first fanfictions!

This is a TodoDeku fantasy AU fanfic. I remember being so proud of this one, and I still don’t think it is too bad!

I got into writing in total almost five(?) months ago. This was one of the first, if not, THE first, fanfictions I actually liked that I wrote.

This is pretty long, seven chapters. And I ship KiriBaku as well, so I may have sprinkled hints of it.

(TW, my phone hates the name “Midoriya” so for the longest time, it kept autocorrecting it to “Midoryia” and this is the first one I have put on my phone, and I don’t really want to correct ALL the “Midoryia”s)

(There is cursing and mentions of death.)

(And please don’t bully me 😅. I do welcome constructive criticism, but make sure you make sure to add tips and not just bashing)

Okay, I hope that was enough. Now, onto the fanfic!

The Cold-Blooded Prince.

Prologue:

        The air was crisp and fresh in the meadow. The world felt at peace as the young man bit into an apple. Upon the action he sat in silence, wondering why it was so hard for every day to be this filled with peace, even as he worries.

Chapter One.

    -Prince Shoto-

        Prince Shoto was known all across the kingdoms as the Cold-Blooded Prince. From his harsh, cold multi-colored eyes, to his red and white hair he was born with, symbolizing his mysterious 2 element magic. The Prince was recognized everywhere, likely one of the most recognized faces in all the kingdoms.

         But not everyone had the whole story. No one had the whole story. It was kept within the walls of King Enji’s suffocating castle. 

        People always come to trust information they receive when they get it if they see it is entertaining or interesting enough. That’s how come the prince, Shoto is so cold. He spread the information all across the kingdoms so people would stay away from his father’s evil tyranny. Sacrificing the idea of friendship to try to put an end to his father’s rule.

        But it still did not work, the King was still one of the most prosperous kingdoms in the world. From people who were bought to people who got trapped when they were just passing through. The King was no fair player.

        Since Shoto’s efforts proved to waste, he awaited the day that his father would fall. His father stayed as the second most prominent kingdom for a long time. That was until the Might Kingdom fell to the kingdom crusher, All For One.

        Now they were number one. And no one dared to defy the king. Many people came from all over to live in the now most prominent kingdom, especially those who were rendered homeless after their old kingdom fell. Now Shoto just remains alone, abused by his father, living as the Cold-Blooded Prince.

        Friendless and numb, the Prince still awaited the day his father would fall. Never expecting a soul to actually care for him. To have a dear friend. He never noticed how much he needed it until he received it. 

        This is the story about how one life changed Shoto completely. And how that one sacrifice stood to protect many people. The story of a new beginning.

       “Your Royal Highness.” One of Prince Shoto’s guards addressed as they bowed in respect. While still kneeling, facing the ground, the guard spoke, “For the past few months, every day there has been a boy, stealing. Every day he steals from the marketplace. “

        “Why are you bothering me with a knight’s problem?” The cold Prince demands, his icy voice remaining calm. The guard starts to shiver, “I mean no offense Your Highness.” The guard stated, his tongue tripping on the words. 

        He was struggling to keep his tone even as he started to speak again, “I was just hoping you could spare some time to help your faithful knights. You see, the boy’s terribly clever and we have not even got a glimpse of his face because he is so quick. We have not seen him wield any magic, yet and even Head Knight Bakugo has failed to defeat him multiple times.”

       The last part painted just a slight amount of concern on the two-toned Prince’s face. The guard looks up to catch a glimpse of the Prince’s expression. He finished the request saying, “we were hoping you could use your mystical Half Hot, Half Cold magic to beat the criminal”

        “I never plan to use my father’s cursed magic! I will stay faithful to my mother!” The Prince says in an outburst then glares at the guard, the guard stood up and bowed again, looking closer to the ground, “Y-yes sir! I know how much you despise your father’s magic! I cannot believe I suggested such a thing as you using it!” The guard kept rambling apologies until the Prince silenced him, raising a hand, back to his icy, calm self.

        “I never said I would not help you. I shall be prepared for when the thief returns.” Shoto signals for the guard to stand at attention, then speaks the word, “At ease.” The guard immediately relaxed his tense posture.

        The guard shows a huge grin and flinches as if he is about to bow but stops himself, “thank you, my gracious Prince!” And Shoto nods as he tells him to alert him when the thief returns, after that, the guard leaves.

Chapter 2

    -Prince Shoto-

       Prince Shoto was entering the shimmering throne room, whilst thinking of the past.

       He never forgot the way his mom had looked at his ugly, hideous side of his face that took after his dad. She had gone insane from it. Now she was gone. Taken away because his tyrant father.

        His thoughts were interrupted, a guard had rushed into the throne room.

        “Prince Shoto!” The guard urgently called, “The thief’s presence has been noted in the marketplace! We still don’t know what his face looks like or his name, but we can tell by the very distinct head of green hair!”

        The straight faced Prince gazed back at the guard, “I’m on it” and he went and slipped into more comfortable clothing within seconds. The Prince called his personal guard, Kaminari and the head guard, Kirishima. They both agreed to help him if he couldn’t do the job alone.

        The Prince rushed out, propelling himself into the air with his magic. Both Kaminari and Kirishima clinging onto him for dear life. The Prince would take down any enemy for his kingdom. This boy is to be no exception.

     -Izuku Midoryia-

        It has been years since that old incident with All For One. Midoryia had beaten the evil threat a couple months before. After that he decided to come to this Kingdom to try to make a living. 

        Until he gets a job, he is stuck stealing to get food for his comrades and himself. Midoryia thinks for a moment, I feel bad for being such a pest. I need to find a way to get accepted to a job, even when I am from a different kingdom. Then I can repay for all I have stolen, and apologize for the inconvenience. 

       All of his thoughts were cut off when he noticed something- or someONE falling right in front of him. It was the King’s son. Prince Shoto, the Cold-Blooded Prince.

        Guess I’m in some deep trouble.

       Midoryia gazed at the beauty of the young man who was called cruel everywhere he went. The beauty he had and the look of deep sorrow in his eyes all stood out to Midoryia. Then the Prince’s ice quirk comes blasting towards the young peasant.

Chapter 3

   -Prince Shoto-

        When Prince Shoto saw the boy with green hair standing before him, he struck at him with all of his ice magic. Kirishima and Kaminari then drop down and the Prince sees that the stubborn boy had dogged his full attack! It seems the boy is just as clever and fast as they say.

       But it won’t be enough. Prince Shoto glances to take a look at the boy. He had wide green eyes and shaggy green hair. 

        Upon looking at the impish boy whom was muttering to himself at the moment, Prince Shoto wondered how this kid, probably just a few months older than Shoto but much smaller and less athletic looking, was such a challenge towards the guards! Towards Katsuki Bakugo!

        The boy then smirked, as if catching a perfect idea and the Prince shrugs. Oh well, it’s his funeral. The Prince quickly sends clusters of ice at the boy without any warning.

        Somehow the boy doges every. Single. One. Then he had the audacity to just stand on top of the last one and use it as a platform to stand on to seem taller. 

        Prince Shoto smiles faintly and move the ice, trying to get it to freeze the boy whole, but he evades the deadly attack simply. 

       “Ice magic has always intrigued me!” The cunning boy exclaimed, “But I was also hoping to see your fire magic as well!” He grinned, a big toothy grind showing all of his white teeth.

        “Ice magic is super powerful! But with the skill set I possess at the moment, I’m afraid I can evade it easily. But with fire, it’s crazy! It is hard for me to defeat at the moment, so if you plan on winning, I suggest the fire, and bonus! It may melt that icy exterior of yours!” The boy suggested, his smile getting more and more cocky.

          I shoot him an icy glare, “I don’t ever plan to use my father’s fire magic. Not now. Not ever” I practically spit the words out.

        The boy frowns, “Why, is it because of your stupid da-“ he looks at all the knights around him, “Uh, I mean HONORABLE KING?” He chuckles for a spit second, then gives me a super serious look.

       “Then you have to drop that very idea!” He says, “Shoto the Cold-Blooded Prince, I see the deep sorrow hidden in your eyes. I want you to hear these words and remember them always. The fire is YOUR magic, not his!”

        The kid’s eyes widen after he says that, seeming as if something just dawned on him, “DANG IT ALL! WHY DO I LIKE TO HELP OTHERS SO MUCH THAT I FORGET MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS?!? I HAVE STARVING COMRADES AND I AM JUST AM HERE TALKING TO YOU? I AM SO LATE, SEE YOU LATER PRINCE-Y!!!” 

       The boy scurries away so fast no one was able to catch him. The Prince realized he had let the criminal escape. The Prince silently mutters a few curses.

     -Izuku Midoryia-

       As Midoryia is adding how much money he owes to his notes on how much money he needs to pay back when he gets a job, he sees his friend, Iida come. Right on schedule.

        “My Prince! You’re back!” The dark blue haired boy with glasses, Iida, announced on his arrival. Midoryia sighs and chuckles slightly, “ Iida I am no longer your Prince, I am your friend. You need to learn I am not worthy of that title” he says, Iida shakes his head.

        “But you are, my Prince! You are still so kind and loyal and gracious! You would be a perfect Prince if there was a kingdom in need of one!”

        “Well, there’s not so until then, promise you won’t call me Prince, okay?” Midoryia pleads.

       Iida thinks for a moment, “okay, I promise that once you become Prince, I shall call you ‘my Prince’ again!”

        The green haired boys rolls his eyes, “Okay Iida. Let’s start on eating, Uraraka may take a while, since she always just walks around looking for people to help”

         The blue haired boy nods in agreement. He opened the food, katsudon. Uraraka keeps picking it when it is her turn to chose the food, but it is more than likely because it is Midoryia’s favorite and Midoryia never chooses the food, and when Iida picks the food it is always beef stew.

        Soon enough, they see a bubbly brunette float their way. Uraraka! She has come back!

      She comes up, “Yay! I’ve missed you guys! I was hoping you were all okay and turns out I was worried for nothing!”

       Midoryia smiles, “you think the guy who defeated All For One is gonna be taken down by some knights and a moody Prince? Please!”

        Iida nods in agreement, “yes, Midoryia is very powerful indeed it- WAIT A MINUTE! DID YOU SAY MOODY PRINCE AS IN PRINCE SHOTO!?!”

        “Yep”

         Uraraka yelps, “Eep! Deku! How are you alive?” She questions, shuddering. She touched the green boy’s cheek as if she needed to be sure.

        Midoryia smiles sadly, “Aw come on guys! He’s not that bad! Once you get past his icy stare you see warmth in his eyes, a longing for people to love and care for him!”

        Uraraka raised and eyebrow and smirks, “ohhhhhhh, I get it now!”

        Midoryia stares at Uraraka, “No, I actually think you don’t” was all he said, then started eating. He glanced at her again, his eyes more nervous, “Don’t get any ideas” he said to her.

       Uraraka smirks. She was getting ALL. The. Ideas.

    -Ejiro Kirishima-

       Ejiro and Bakugo decided to eat dinner together that night. Well it was more like Ejiro had decided that he was gonna drag Bakugo there with him so Bakugo could tell him why he was so mad.

        Bakugo sits at the table, glaring at Ejiro, acting pretty normal. Then Ejiro says, “You know him don’t you?” Then Bakugo snapped

       “YEAH THAT WAS THAT DAMNED DEKU! THE REAL QUESTION IS . . . How is he even alive????” Bakugo’s voice was a harsh yell. His voice almost cracked, though. Now Ejiro understood. When Bakugo gets this way he usually is hiding old sorrow and/or slight relief.

        “How was he supposed to die?” Ejiro asks the angry blonde. The guy starts to shake at the memory, gritting his teeth, and single angry tear falling down his cheek.

       “I used to bully the kid. One day he got a special magic and adopted by the old king. We were at the same Kingdom together for a while. You have an idea of who I mean.”

       Ejiro’s eyes widen, “you mean he was the old heir?” He asks. Bakugo nods roughly,

        “Yeah. Then All For One came, he always comes and crushes the whole royal family when no one was looking. This time, he comes as a guy with decay magic. All that was left of the castle was ashes . . . You and I were only gone for half an hour and . . . It’s hard to believe he survived, I’m the one who spoke for him at the small funeral we did.” Now he is full blown crying. Woah, I completely forgot how hard this whole thing had been on Bakugo, him and I were out on a mission and . . . I remember coming back to a pile of dust.

        Of course, Ejiro had been sad on that day too, but he was also a traveling guard, a guard who never stayed in one place. He had never got the chance to fully meet all the royalty besides King Yagi.

        “Why were you the one to speak? Was ALL of his family and friends in the castle?” Ejiro asks.

        “His mom had died long before that, the king was his only family, all his friends were guards. All the guards besides me were killed.” Woah. How was that kid so strong and happy? How was Bakugo so lively? You could never tell any of them were sad in any way!

        But right now, what was important was to return Bakugo to his old self. He was the heart and soul of the knights and they could not afford to allow him to stay down. This is the first time I have seen him cry. “Come on Bakugo, don’t cry! We’ve both have got to stay strong for our teams!”

        Bakugo stopped crying and yelled, “IM NOT CRYING SHITTY HAIR” Ejiro smiles, “Of course you weren’t”

Chapter 5

    -Izuku Midoryia-

        Midoryia was laying down next to Iida. Iida seemed troubled, gazing into the starry sky. Midoryia noticed this.

        “Is everything alright Iida?” Midoryia asked kindly, “I notice that you are in deep thought about something”

        Iida sighs, then he reluctantly voices his troubles, “I am sorry for saying this, Midoryia. I really am. But I miss our old life, us being kids, just really relaxing a lot together. I became a guard right before the incident and I can say at the moment, I regret not helping protect the kingdom as much as I should have”

        “Iida” the young peasant says, “It is normal to feel that way when things aren’t going right. But I believe we should keep going forward, using those precious memories as fuel.” Midoryia smiles.

        “How are we supposed to be strong enough to beat an enemy if we can’t even beat some lonesome, sad thoughts? That is just what I believe though. We cannot dwell on the past, we have to push through if you want to see a better tomorrow”

        Iida nods, “I will try Midoryia. I really will.” He then quickly closes his eyes, “NOW we must get some sleep!” He orders with a hand chop and Midoryia chuckles as he falls into slumber.

    -Prince Shoto-

        Prince Shoto has had just about enough. All day he had been trying to rid himself of the boy’s voice. The universe was taunting him for being stubborn. 

        At he end of his rope, he acknowledged that the kid was right. He was correct in his words. This was not his father’s fire. This power shall be made his own.

        That night he trained the magic in him, not getting a wink of sleep.

————————————————

    -The next afternoon-

        “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you Prince-y!” The familiar voice called as Prince Shoto drops from the sky again. “I have a proposition for you!” 

       The Prince tilts his head slightly confused. The green headed boy walks over and reaches out his hand, “Peace offering! You know, between two- I mean ONE Prince and a desperate peasant!”

        The Prince rolls his eyes and gives a cold smirk. The boy’s eyes brighten, “Great! You got over your fire using phobia!? I have got an idea! Let’s fight! If you beat me, I’ll go to jail, if I win, you hear me out!” 

        The Prince’s face darkens competitively, “okay.” He says, “just so you know, don’t plan to hold back”

        The boy smiles, “Oh, me neither” he says in a tone even to the Prince. “Also. The name’s Midoryia. Izuku Midoryia.” 

        Prince Shoto grins, “pleasure to meet you Midoryia. I will see you in jail.” He says, but in his head he is screaming, that wasn’t his full strength!?! I mean I knew that but still!!!

        Prince Shoto shot a wave of ice towards Izuku Midoryia. The nimble boy expectedly doges every single one. Then at the last moment Shoto launches a wall of fire at the boy.

        Shoto expects to have won. No one can go through a blast like that and not be knocked down. Then out of the corner he sees the boy just slightly singed at the edge of his clothing, crackling with a strange energy.

         Shoto knocks the boy back but still was shocked nevertheless, “how did you escape my fire?” He asks the boy. He sees an impish grin form on the boy’s face.

        “I guess you can say my reflexes kicked in. And the only way to avoid that speed was to use my magic” he gestures towards the crackling energy, “One for all! Full cowling.” Then he charges for the Prince, ready to tackle him and win. 

       Then somehow he trips on a rock and crashes against the floor so hard he is out cold. Prince Shoto inhales a breath then smacks his face. That was a terrible way to lose.

        Kaminari walks up to him, “that was uh” he clears his throat, “a great win sir”

        The Prince sighs, “no I lost. Take him to the recovery room. When he wakes up take him here.” Kaminari grins at the wise Prince, “yes sir” and he takes him away

       The thought was terrifying. The boy had come so close to winning, but a single rock got in his way. Was he distracted? Sad? He’ll have to ask him when he wakes up.

       Not even 3 hours later the boy barges in, “I do apologize Prince Shoto! I lost in such an ungracious way, I must have wounded your pride!” The impish green haired boy starts bowing profusely. 

       Hm I’ve never seen this side of him before. “It’s okay Midoryia, I truly don’t mind. But I must ask why were you do distracted that you tripped on a rock?”

        The boy flushed from embarrassment, “it’s nothing really. Just a burden I have allowed in my shoulders. It sometimes causes me to screw up.”

        “Okay” the Prince said and they sat in silence. “I’m waiting” the Prince said impatiently, Midoryia jumps up, confused, “What!? I have been waiting for you to escort me to jail!”

         “Nope. I lost so I am going to hear you out.” The Prince stated. Midoryia rubbed the back of his head, “a-are you sure?” He asked flashing a nervous grin.

         The Prince nodded, giving a look that said he has been sure for a while. Midoryia gasps, “WAIT HOW LONG WAS I OUT????” He looked around frantically for a sign of how long it’s been.

          The Prince sighs, “about 3 hou-“

        “WHAT? IIDA AND URARAKA ARE PROBABLY SO WORRIED ABOUT ME!” Midoryia starts running as if he is a chicken with its head chopped off.

        “Pardon my asking, but it is as if you are a whole new person, why are you acting so differently than that of before?”

         The freckled boy grinned, “you have earned my respect. It takes quite a bit to do that, so I will be more truthful with you. I can act confident but it’s really just because I want everyone to never worry about me or read me”

       The Prince gave a hint of a smile, “what, you want me to worry about you?” He asked, Midoryia started frantically waving his hands, “N-n-n-no! I was saying that I don’t have to worry about you worrying about me!” 

        Shoto smiles, “I know, I was kidding” Midoryia puts his serious face back on, “but seriously if you want to hear me out can I at least tell my friends I am okay?” 

        Shoto thinks about it and nods, “okay then. Let’s go.” Midoryia nods and shows the way to the makeshift shelter he calls home.

Chapter Six

    -Izuku Midoryia-

        As Midoryia finally makes it to his shelter alongside the Prince, Iida and Uraraka rush up to him. When Uraraka sees Shoto next to Midoryia she squeals. 

        Midoryia shoots her a glare so SHE does not shoot off her mouth. Then he says, “Prince Shoto may be able to help us” the noble man next to him shakes his head, “there is no ‘may’. Your friend has my respect, that is no easy feat. Let me help you guys” 

         Iida’s face is unreadable as he shows them a good spot to sit, “I hope you don’t mind the grass” he tells the Prince, the Prince smiles and insists it would be okay.

        Midoryia starts the conversation. “We are peasants. No ifs, ands, or buts about that. But even if we are that way does not mean we were always peasants.” Iida had a smile on his face now.

        “Midoryia, are you gonna tell him everything?” The smiling boy with glasses wonders. Midoryia nods grimly, “I will tell him enough”

    -Prince Shoto-

        As Midoryia explains to the two-toned haired boy in front of him, things start making sense to Shoto. Even the things the boy doesn’t mention at the time all call out to him.

       It’s nothing really, just a burden I have allowed on my shoulders.

        Then the boy says something that catches Shoto’s attention even more. “Even if it was sad, I cannot allow the people I care about to fall in despair. Instead I want us to keep moving forward. Using the precious memories to fuel us. If we fuel ourselves with bad memories we will only end in despair”

        He has no right to say that! He is always reliving how he says he failed! He needs to give himself more credit!

       As Shoto listens he grows more upset for the tortured soul in front of him. The tortured soul that has saved the Prince’s soul, but he still stays tortured. It hurt seeing him hide behind that smile.

        Even peasants, even royalty can cry when they need to. Right?

       Then Midoryia gets to the point, “basically, since you know of our experience in the field, can you make us guards and knights?” He asks, Shoto immediately nods, “I was already going to ask you to be my personal knight, so it works I just make her a guard and him a knight”

        Midoryia jumps at the idea, “I’d love to my Prince!” He starts to celebrate, the Shoto interrupts, “I’d like to offer the three of you rooms in the castle. Please accept my offer”

        “Okay!” Uraraka accepts. Midoryia nervously adds, “as long as we could do that and be of no trouble.”

        Months go by with this arrangement. Midoryia is constantly helping Shoto train and Bakugo has made fair enough amends with the green haired boy. 

        Iida is Bakugo’s second in command and Uraraka is a valuable asset to the guards. People everywhere know Midoryia’s name. He just as, if not, stronger, than King Enji himself.

        And the king does NOT like that.

       Not one bit.

       He made multiple attempts to assassinate the young guard, the guard refusing to defend himself from the king’s orders, so Shoto protects him every time.

       One day Shoto and Midoryia were training like any other day. Thinking this day would be normal. When it wasn’t. Not even close.

   -Prince Shoto-

      It was just Shoto and Midoryia training today, no one would join them. A lot of guards and knights just gave up after experiencing Midoryia’s strength even without his magic. The rest just couldn’t make it today.

        “We’ve come a long way, huh Prince Shoto?” The green-head comments as they fight. By now they are pretty much the same in strength and agility, but Midoryia is more clever that Shoto.

       The Prince nods in agreement, then he takes a punch from Midoryia. “Hey. Not fair.” He complained, Midoryia rolled his eyes, “you think an enemy would care about fair?” He asked, Shoto shook his head, upset at the sudden lecture.

        Then the alarms rung out. The alarms saying that a war has come, Midoryia put his serious face on, “okay I have to go” he said, Shoto glared at him, “don’t even think about going without me. You are much stronger when we team up”

      The boy sighs, “fine just don’t take to long getting ready”

      “It will take seconds” the Prince insisted. He went and got into the comfortable clothing and it took him just about 6 seconds. By the time he came back, Midoryia went off on his own.

        This kid . . . Got on his nerves sometimes. Prince Shoto quickly rushed off to find the guy. He knew he was strong enough but a sense of dread has embedded itself into Shoto’s soul.

        He found the impish boy taking on 15 knights at once for them all the be blown away by one for all. These guys must be powerful for him to rely on One For All. Shoto rushes to help, shooting him an, “I will yell at you later” look. 

        As they finally had worked their way through the army they saw on queen of the kingdom, Queen Midnight. Midoryia jumped at her, taking a whiff of her sleeping perfume magic so Shoto could quickly come and defeat her.

        When the queen was defeated, she called for a retreat. When the army was gone there was silence and broken bodies everywhere. Midoryia started stumbling around, “oh . . . Kay. Time . . . To help the injured . . .”

        Prince Shoto grabbed his shoulders, “you need to rest! You probably damaged your body using One for all so many times, and you inhaled some of Midnight’s magic! I insist you let me help everyone!”

        Midoryia smiles, “okay. I will just-“ he stops. Eyes wide. Face pale.

       When Shoto sees what hit him he wore a similar expression. 

        He sees the king and his personal archer. The archer who had a very sad look in his eye. The archer who had been ordered to shoot a VERY deadly poison arrow at one of the best knights.

        An arrow at Shoto’s dearest friend. Shoto felt as if he has been struck instead on Izuku. He wished. Dread filled his heart even more at he catches the knight as he falls over, unconscious. Shoto feels the life draining out of Midoryia. 

        He stays to feel every last breath, hoping he’d SOMEHOW survive, please! But he is not superhuman, he may have been strong, but this was the worst type of poison out there. 

        Shoto was NOT happy.  Then Uraraka and Iida race forward to them. Once they see Midoryia’s condition, Uraraka goes on Iida’s shoulders, using Iida’s speed magic to go faster.

        They come and see the pretty much dead Midoryia and the bawling cold blooded Prince. It was the saddest moment Shoto remembers ever since hearing that his brother Touya died or when his Mom was moved to a mental clinic.

        His heart hurt so badly, guilt overflowed his system. He did not want to move forward. Midoryia is BARELY BREATHING AND POISEN IS IN HIS SYSTEM! What more can he do in life?

        He was gonna end his fathers rule once and for all. He started to fuel himself with hatred and heartbreak, then remembered something.

        “Even if it was sad, I cannot allow the people I care about to fall in despair. Instead I want us to keep moving forward. Using the precious memories to fuel us. If we fuel ourselves with bad memories we will only end in despair”

        He realized, he needed to be strong. He needed to fight with good purpose, not blinded by anger. “Come on guys” the Prince said, lifting up Midoryia, “he would have wanted us to move forward, fueled by our pleasant memories of him. He would hate to have caused us great sadness and sorrow.”

        The old friends of Midoryia both gave a firm nod, confirming they’d been thinking the same thing. They all go inside, giving Midoryia to a doctor to be one hundred percent sure and they went in Shoto’s room to plan.

        The king hosted a party the next night for the whole kingdom. He took advantage of the fact that basically the whole kingdom was there and used that moment to announce the death of Izuku Midoryia.

Chapter 7

    -Katsuki Bakugo-

          He was already told Deku was poisoned by the enemy before the king made it public. He knew. So why did it hurt so much more for it to be announced in public more so than when he was informed by Iida when he asked if anyone was gravely injured?

        He remembered when he decided to patch things up with Deku, after he had revealed himself to have not actually died. And that he still had some of the old guards live besides Bakugo.

        Deku changed so much . . . Yet so little. He was still just like a kid. 

       “Oi nerd”

       “Y-y-y-yes K-Kachan?”

       “I wanted to say sorry. I had thought you were long gone so I did not expect to ever  see you again. I am glad you’re alive. Tch.”

       “Re-really Kachan?”

       “Sheesh, yes, really. So how about this, Im totally NOT your friend, but can we call a truce? And I want to catch up with you”

       “Of course! I felt bad for not telling you! I just had failed to find you, I did not expect you to be one of Prince Shoto’s guards!”

        “That one is on Kirishima, let’s go get some food and catch up”

        “Okay!”

        Now he is gone. Deceased. Never to be woken up again.

        The king is saying some huge speech. But Bakugo can tell it is a bunch of baloney. That tyrant has always wanted the nerd dead. He got his damned wish. But he is gonna die soon enough. If Prince Shoto doesn’t do it soon, Bakugo will.

        Then Shoto drops out of the freaking air. Literally. As if no gravity had affect on him. Probably round-face at it again.

        “Citizens!” Half n’ half called, “I have come to take place in my father’s rule! I know I have been known as the cold blooded Prince, but it was all a lie! I also wanted to tell you, Midoryia did not fall to such weak competition! He fell . . . To my father’s hand!”

        There were many gasps, “that’s right! He did not like how strong my dear friend is so he stopped him once and for all! Once he was weakened he struck him with our best poison arrow!”

       The crowd revolted against the king. Miraculously, the crowd had believed the Prince. The citizens cheered on the Prince. But the king stopped them dead in their tracks. 

        “I never agreed to this!” The king bellowed, Shoto was about to reel on him, but Bakugo decided it was time to step up and help the annoying Prince, whom as much as the annoyed knight disliked it, the Prince was a million times better than the King.

        “My Prince, I have served under the king my whole time being here. I have said I would never want to betray the king.” he says formally, then he smirks, “but it is exactly what I am saying actually. The king is about as enjoyable as eating leather for breakfast”

        The Prince’s eyes widen. Bakugo smirked from the look of surprise on his face, “what can I say?” The cocky blonde added, “I guess you earned my respect”

        “Heh. Anyone who earns HIS respect is okay in my book” Kirishima said, appearing out of nowhere, “even if I already decided you had my respect ever since you warmed up to Midoryia” then knelt into a bow, “you are SO manly! I would be proud to call you my king!” 

        Shoto looks at his loyal guards and smiles- actually smiles- the guards all stand up again. Then they hear two familiar voices.

       “We’d say that we stand with you too . . . But we helped you with your plan to tell the public so I think it goes without saying!” The shout comes from a brunette girl floating with a boy with glasses.

       “Oi! I had suspected you helped the half n’ half Prince with this plan, Round Face!” Bakugo yelled from where he was, making not-so-nice gestures while he was at it. 

        Uraraka floats down, gripping Iida’s wrist to make sure his ungrateful movements don’t get him hurt. Then her and him bowed down respectfully. When they look up they wear sad smiles.  

        The crowd started chanting, “Prince Sho-to! Be king Sho-to!” It wasn’t very clever, but it provoked the king. “Silence! I am your king!” The tyrant bellowed. Shoto calmly walked up to him.

        “Technically I am supposed to be the king the second I turn 16, by the laws of this kingdom. I am 18, it is my turn. It has been, you just have been abusing me and holding me back. This time, I am gonna fight”

       The king’s palm lit aflame from his pure anger. “Don’t mess with me, boy” Shoto stood tall, glaring at his father, “I’m no longer that scared boy you used to control. I am King Shoto-“ 

       “I AM THE KING!!!” The arrogant fool bellowed, interrupting the young man.

        “You no longer will be. You killed my brother Touya, just because he was not good enough in your eyes. You ruined my mom because you only care about yourself. You are not fit to be king. Our citizens agree.”

       “No.” The flame lord refused. “I won’t stop my rule until I die!”

        “Then die if you must” Shoto said. “It shall be by my hand. We will fight until you agree.”

Chapter 8

    -Shoto Todoroki-

       The Prince- no the king looked at his father. He scoffed at the man whom he knew he could beat. How was he so scared of him? 

       He channeled his inner Midoryia and did a cocky smirk. He was gonna beat him. He switched on his flames, engulfing his entire left side. As he felt the flames lick his face, he remembered how much he used to resent them.

       Not anymore. These flames will be his ally. Along with his ice. He blasted the flames toward his father, and as soon as they hit, he blasted his father with a wall of ice.

       Him and Midoryia came up with them move. Steam can make you burn MUCH more than flames can, so his father was in for a world of pain. But when he saw his father, he looked more angry than in pain. This may be harder than I thought.

        Shoto blasted an ice wall to protect the citizens in case it got too rough, the ‘celebration’ was outside, so there was plenty of space. The king took that as an opportunity to hit Shoto with  his hellish flames.

       Shoto could not doge the flames that well. Thankfully though, he was not seriously injured, just badly singed. He exhaled when his father finished.

         “Seems you like to play dirty. Not that I did not already know that” Shoto smirked and rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand. He should have known it would have been tricky.

        He sends a blast if ice his father’s way, then he quickly ran to his old man’s blind spot, this move was one Midoryia taught him, and used VERY hot, HOT fire. There will always be a burn there from now on. and the idiot is OUT.

        Shoto thinks about finishing his father here and now. Then he pauses. That would make him worse than the old man.

        “Guards I was you to take him to the magic-proof cell and then heal him. Let him stay there for the rest of his life.” They all obediently bow and do as asked.

         That night Shoto was crowned the King. It was great and all for the kingdom to be free, but he still felt bad. Midoryia is not able to see this. He wanted this for Shoto and he just had to wait for him to die.

        When he escaped the crowd and everyone just celebrated, he saw Iida racing towards him, “s-sir!” He gasped, out of breath.

         “Yes Iida?” The newly crowned prince asked the knight. Iida looked him in the eye, “sir the nurses, Midoryia, he-“

        “Where?” Shoto immediately asked. Iida showed him the way.

Epilogue 

      The air was crisp and fresh in the meadow. The world felt at peace as the young man bit into an apple. Upon the action he sat in silence, wondering why it was so hard for every day to be this filled with peace, even as he worries. 

         Getting up and brushing of his clothing, Shoto looks and finds his way back to the palace. He was to just have another ordinary day. Then he turned and saw the boy.

        He had an impish figure, thick green hair with some bed head, and a weak smile. Shoto just stands and stares at the boy in his weakened state.

        He’s awake. 

       The boy rushes up and hugs Shoto tightly. The boy tilts his mouth towards the King’s ear, “Heard you became king while I slept. How has the kingdom been doing?”  He whispered softly.

       “It’s not the same without you. It’s good you’re here” the King chokes on his words, soft feeling arising in his chest.

        “It’s good to be back.”

[violetsmoak]

Untitled JayTim WIP

Happy Evil Author Day! 

Here’s a WIP I’ve been considering for a while for a one-shot (I know, shock! A non chapter fic from me? Will wonders never cease!) but haven’t really been giving a good amount of attention to because I’ve been focused on finishing Philtatos and the other fics I already have posted. 

Pairing: JayTim

Rating: M for language, sexual themes (not nsfw tho)

Summary: Years from now, they’ll make up a story about how it really happened. After all, how do a series of autocorrect fails lead to a relationship?

________________________________________________________________

T: Wanna bang?

Jason stares at his phone for a full ten seconds trying to connect the words to the contact name.

Logically he knows Tim probably meant ‘hang’, since they have been doing that more often lately. Something about brunch and commiserating over Alfred’s waffles established a tenuous friendship that’s continued in the form of intel sharing and the occasional team-up on cases when they both happen to be in Gotham at the same time.

The relationship is about at the level of shooting each other the occasional meme or gif via text, and ‘hey, let’s grab a chili dog but you’re paying, Mr. Moneybags’. Even if Jason were inclined toward trying to get into his replacement’s pants—which, he’s not thank you very much even if he recognizes as a completely objective equal-opportunity appreciator of the human body that Tim Drake grew up hot—he also knows that Tim Drake is depressingly straight.

So, their occasional meetups have been nothing but casual, family friendly (for this Family, anyhow) encounters with no hidden subtext or intent behind them.

(At least he’s 87% sure, because Tim’s the kind of awkward pretty or pretty awkward that sends out flirt signals without even realizing it.)

In any case, it’s probably the most functional relationship Jason’s ever had with another Robin.

Which is why he’s fairly sure that this text is one of those autocorrect fails.

And he could let it go.

But he’s Jason Todd, and when has he ever let anything go?

J: Depends. Are you going to buy me dinner first, or is this just a casual booty call?

He goes back to cleaning and checking his weapons on his kitchen table, more out of habit than actually needing to. He was taught the fine art of weapon maintenance by the most paranoid man in the world, his guns never jam.

His eyes catch a flicker on his screen and he glances over, watching the three dots indicating someone typing for barely a blink. And then,

T: Omg

T: Shit I meant hang. Autocorrect.

Jason grins, imagining the face Tim must be making, and decides mocking him is more fun than unnecessary gun polishing.

J: Should I bring anything? Condom? Lube?

J: Vibrator?

J: Ball gag?

T: Wtf? No!

J: Also, you’re clean, right? Only B really drilled the safe sex talk into me so

T: Oh my god Jason why are you like this

J: Would it be your first time?

J: Because I’m not sure I should be the one to take your v-card.

T: I hate you.

J: Guess that means sex is off the table?

At this point, Tim seems to realize that the best course of action is to ignore him, which works well enough for Jason. He’s gotten his laugh out of it, and there’s really no need to beat a dead horse.

Or dead bird, as it were.

He promptly forgets about the whole thing when Roy calls him from the front of the ship and informs them they need to pick up supper somewhere because Kori vaporized the hotplate on the ship.

*

The next time he hears from Tim, it’s the night after they save Gotham from a secret society of owls trying to make a creepy nursery rhyme prophecy come true. He answered his call for help against his better judgement since he’s still not on great terms with the Family and didn’t exactly linger to help with the clean-up.

(Barbie was just as unimpressed with him as he remembers, though it was nice to see her up and about again. There’s something cathartic in knowing the Joker couldn’t keep either of them down.)

He, Kori and Roy have just touched down on their little tropical getaway, and Roy’s already trying to get laid (although Jason’s not entirely sure if it’s with Kori or Kori’s ship at this point) and Kori’s smiling that ‘aren’t-human-males-so-quaint’ expression she reserves for the men in her life. Jason’s in the middle of trying to call that flight attendant, Isabel, to see if she’s interested in meeting up for drinks (“Yes, Roy, I know how to ask a woman out, now fuck off.”) when his phone chimes with a notification.

T: Thanks for the team-up. I know it’s not your favorite thing to do.

Jason makes a face at that, both the implication that he was contributing anything to any type of team, and the idea that he doesn’t enjoy beating the crap out of whatever creeper of the week is infesting Gotham.

He weighs the pros and cons of acknowledging that, but eventually texts back:

J: It’s my city too. Make sure you remind him about that.

There’s barely a breath before the kid replies.

T: Always do.

T: And since he won’t say it, if there’s anything you need in the future, just let me know.

And…well. There are possibilities to that. Having a Wayne—even an in-name-only Wayne—owe you favors is a hell of a thing. But it also carries with it the strings of staying connected, which he doesn’t want to out and out encourage.

His eyes flit to the open text to Isabel, and he reconsiders.

J: Know anywhere I can get a few decent suits? Not the Family reunion kind. J: And not so expensive I have to sell me soul.

J: Again.

If he’s going to try this whole dating thing again, he might as well make the effort.

Three dots over beneath his message, and then

T: Your sense of humor sucks. As usual.

T: I’ll set you up with my tailor’s contact info.

T: Gimme a sex.

Jason snorts, and before he’s even really thought it through, he’s typing back.

J: Nah, I don’t put out until the third date.

It’s several minutes before Tim responds—likely he’s gotten distracted by something; it’s the middle of the workday in his time zone, after all—and when he does it’s as indignant as Jason expects.

T: What? No! A sex!

T: A SEC!!!

T: Autocorrect.

J: Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

T: You’re an ass.

J: It’s okay, Timbers, you don’t have to lie. First step is admitting you have a problem.

T: Forget it. No favor for you.

Jason sniggers at that, earning curious glances from Roy and Koru, but he shakes his head. No need to explain the joker.

*

He still ends up getting in contact with Tim’s tailor. Turns out the kid even insisted on paying for whatever Jason wanted up front.

Which he’s not going to say no to.

Somehow, taking Tim’s money doesn’t feel as fraught as taking Bruce’s.

It doesn’t stop him from sending a needling message as he’s leaving the store after ordering several disgustingly expensive suits. (Seriously, what the hell is it with rich people?)

J: So are you my sugar daddy now?

He never gets a reply.

TO BE CONTINUED

[mindwideopen]

Ok, have they invented this neutralizer yet?! For those of you not familiar with the movie men in Black, this gadget that tommy lee Jones is holding is a machine that when activated, causes you to immediately forget the last experience you had. And I can use this gadget in my life. Matter of fact, I’m in dire need of it. There are a lot of memories in my life, that I need to get rid of. Purge. Release. Let go. How?

So when you think of a memory, you reactivate the feeling you felt when it first occurred. So I pose this question, to myself; how do I forget, memories that hurt, and don’t serve me anymore? A huge conundrum. Because I haven’t been able to figure it out yet. I still get sucked into the same trap I always do: Victimization.

I, am a victim, of my own thoughts. My focus is ass sometimes, depending on my mood, and where I allow my mind to go with said mood. For example, this morning. I woke up, and wrote about how I’ve never felt included or that I belonged. The world of entertainment is exclusive only to certain people, and I am not accepted or one of them. They are on the inside, and they blocked, deleted, dismissed, and shut the door on me. The end. Ok, sure. Here’s the proof; unemployed, no friends to collaborate with, not famous or rich, and people are abondoning me like flies that fly away from shit after they’ve had their fill. Not a good thought tragectory for success. So all I see now, is the evidence of that of which I believe.

“My shit, is better than your shit! I get paid well, to produce my shit. I feel, that YOUR shit, is inferior shit, so I will block you, even though we were contemporaries at one point in our lives. You went your way, I went mine. My shit got noticed. My shit, got accolades and awards. And your shit? Still shit. Oh, and I no longer want to be associated with YOUR shit, cause your shit, again, is shit. So later, never.”

“Oh yeah? Well my shit, isn’t a sell out to the mediocre shit that is shit! And just because you’re recognized and praised publicly for your shit, doesn’t necessarily mean that the shit you produce, is good shit. I happen to believe that your good shit, isn’t. And I’m true to my shit. At least I’m into my own shit. Your shit you sell to someone else that has the same shit going on. And shit n the shit. Shit is as shit does. So there!”

And never the 2 shits shall mix again, in the shit pile, of life. These last 2 paragraphs? Are shit. They are the energy of this: fear. Let’s break it down: indignation, judgement, separatism, more judgement, non inclusion, rash generalization, labeling, even more judgement, hate, and then.... competition, jealously, bitterness, hurt, jadedness, anger, loathing, and yes, fear.

Thank you, agent j...

On the flip side, maybe that wasn’t how we on both ends feel about one another after all, and we just believe it, due to our fears.

Agent J (played by the wonderful, will smith): ok you two, this is how this it’s now going to go down. Person being ridiculous and not in the love # 1, you say this:

“Well, i don’t think your shit is inferior to mine. I never thought that. I was rude about your shit because I felt attacked. I may not understand all your shit, and I’m usually so busy with my head up my ass looking at my own shit...”

Person not in the love being ridiculous #2, you say this:

“We all are.”

Ok, #1 say this:

“Yes, but I appreciate and value you as a person, and our opposition and shit, isn’t an issue for me anymore.”

#2 say this:

“Really? Cause I’ve always admired what you’ve done with your shit. I mean, you’ve gotten a big big platform for your shit, and that’s cool n shit. And I’m glad that we’re discussing this shit, and our collective shit, finally, cause years have gone by, and all this time I’ve been thinking that you hate me and my shit, cause I haven’t seen you in years, and we’re not in each other’s lives anymore.”

Person #1 say this:

“Really?! You don’t hate me for the success I’ve had with my shit?! I blocked you because I read your shit and I basically thought you were sour shit with your shit, kinda being shitty about me and the shit I’m all about.”

Person #2 say this:

“No, if I insulted you with my shit, I definitely didn’t mean it, and I’m glad we’re cool with the shit now.”

Both of your non loving dumb asses:

“Yeah. Shit. All this time wasted thinking shit about one another...”

Agent j. (Continued): Both, understood? Yes! Great! Go forth, in love!

Agent J, has got it down. Did you take notes? No need. All it is, is empathy, understanding, and communication it. In this case, that’s what love looks like.

There are only 2 true emotions that all emotions end up breaking down to, and those are fear, and love. Anything that doesn’t come from a loving place, is fear. “You are NOT like me.” Fear. “What you do, is not ok with me.” Also fear. Fear comes in many packages, and not all of it is immediately recognizable. But if you stop to think about it, it is about the loveless behavior we exhibit, due to our basic need to be understood, and to belong.

“Why should I belong?! Why?! If they don’t accept me, fuck em!” Fear. “She’s a complete mook! She uses terms like mook, which I judge as a racist term, but in actuality the meaning is italian slang for someone who is an idiot. Fine, she’s not a racist, but she’s judging someone as an idiot! Still hate her...” also fear. Fear runs rampant in our society right now. Hate, is real, because people believe in it’s existence, and react to it because it’s real to them. Our beliefs, create our past, current, and future reality.

So, men in black. A great trilogy of movies. Very smart, very cool, and extremely ahead of the curve as far as human evolution is concerned. They have gadgets for the things that we have control over ourselves, with our focus, and our perceptions about certain subjects. And I would like to be neutralized now, for reactivating all of my past “shit” beliefs about others, and myself. Because I now feel, like shit, having thought about all the past shit that was shit.

So, I pose this question to myself; “if you have that neutralizer machine that allows you to forget what you have just experienced, would it work on the thoughts you remember about the times you felt like shit if you reactivate the shit, by remembering it?” My husband thinks it’s different, and it wouldn’t work. He maintains that you have dragged all of your new experiences to support the old ones with you to your present when you reactivate it. I believe that if the feeling is reactivated, it’s still the same effect, shit, so instead of going back in time, and deleting the actual moment, you should be able to reactivate the feeling within yourself, and eradicate it with the neutralizer. Well, who’s right? Actually I don’t know. Cause how much of your past does it delete? 3 minutes? 10 minutes? Months? Years? There must be a setting or something. Cause in the first movie it’s a few minutes, right?? Then in the 3rd movie at the big climax I won’t give away, it’s like years. Like 3 or 4 years. So he forgot the shit. I mean he forgot everything and everyone and all the shit in between. So, at what point do you remember, what you clearly forgot? And the jump cut would be serious. You’d be like, “holy shit! I was in the shower, and now I’m sitting there eating ice cream on a park bench with some old people in a park on a sunny day and I think I looked like I could be in a karaoke video cause they ALWAYS film shit like that, and why? Cause I need to see a scene of 3 birds molting while I’m screaming“painkiller” by Judas Priest the karaoke version where it sounds like a synthesizer orchestra instead of that good hard rock shit?? And no! Both they and I ARE NOT satan worshipers, & Were also not satan his or her self because We are damn good people... shiiiiit... but wait, I shouldn’t speak for other people, so just forget that I said ANY of that shit, ok? Ok, agent j?

Agent j: yeah? (Say it in the low eddie Murphy is voice, like when he’s reeeeaaal serious n shit.)

Kari: can you delete all the shit I just said up until the point right before this entire thing I just wrote?

Agent j: no. (Say it in Eddie Murphy’s looooow voice again, the one he uses when he reaaally doesn’t want to engage in conversation with you, cause he thinks you’re a crazy witch with semi good grammar, cause I had to fix the “you’re” in “you’re a crazy witch” because autocorrect likes to make me look like I don’t include people and shit. YOU ARE, ok autocorrect?! I know what I’m trying to say! Do you? No! You don’t! So don’t change my shit! I’ll let YOU know when I want my shit changed! You better recognize n shit, witch or some shit...)

Kari: ok, fine. I’ll continue then... (sighs. Hey I tried for ya, people. Don’t say I didn’t ever do anything for ya...)...It’s just NOT not a good subject. All I can say is I love love, and all of loves peoples, which is ALL people, ok?! Cause people think orange is a political party to me, and it’s not, ok?! It’s not! It’s people who choose to be mean and crap like, alright? Cause there’s good people everywhere and why focus on the people who rip on you 24/7, cause you’re worth more than that! So yeah! I endorse my “LOVE shit! Argue with that by yourself n shit, cause I’m gonna love your mean ass regardless, ok? Cause that’s what love dictates my ass to do! Ok?! Yeah! So none of this hate shit any of your asses, ok? Cause I can’t take the shit. Any. More.... and, I love you. I also love those who chose not too, whenever that is, cause no one is 💯 in hate all the time, people are a mixed bag of moods and energies. Take this monologue for example! Good luck with THIS apple, and I love apples, and I love all people who love and hate and are indifferent to apples, therefore I love and choose all people, I engage with all inclusive energy and behavior, I celebrate differences and similarities both, I relish in the love that can be possible when people take the time to check in first with themselves, take ownership of their feelings and energy, and lead from a place of love and empathy, I care about you, and I care about others, and I care about me, as a part of the whole, and I love people, period. Love is the way, anything else is hell on earth. (takes deep breath, cause if you’re performing this monologue, you also have to read what’s in the parentheses too... so I had to make it worth performing, oh! & you better take some voice lesson or learn how to do Netherlands exercises or breathe deep from your diaphragm if you have one in or not to get waaaay down there to say all this shit in one breath, the way it’s intended to be read, or performed, cause I’m like Shakespeare’s first folio where he has a specific way to write and have you perform it with built in inflection called, “iambic pentameter” but no, I’m not Shakespeare, I’m a person seriously fucking with you, but I mean all this shit, at least the love stuff), only I’m naked and wet, cause they zapped my shit in the shower, and planted me in the park as a joke. Well, that shits not funny! Ok?! Cause I’m in a park naked with some old people lookin at my taters and my tots and my non tots in my Netherlands, ok?! So no! Don’t do that shit! Ok? No!

On second thought, we both are. Because our beliefs dictate what is real and true to us individually. So what he believes is true to him, and what I believe is true to me.

That poses another question; “how does one get on the same page with people who are not open to changing or adjusting their beliefs?” Some people are cool with not sharing the same opinions as others. “Oh well, I guess we can agree to disagree, cause I love your crazy ass regardless of our differences.” My ma and I are like that. She and I share different views on a lot of things, but we make it work, because we respect one another’s right to our beliefs, but come together, and choose to focus, on our similarities underneath it all. Do we both love? Yes. Do we both want the best for people? Yes. Do we both agree that love is a great thing to focus on? Yes. Great. Agreed. Love it is!

Love, is our neutralizer. Men in black is awesome, but in 2020, we’ve forgotten the basic principle of love. Love neutralizes the fear. Love brings us straight back together, where it feels better. Being right is great, and feeling indignation is satisfying for a few minutes, hours, months or years, but it never lasts. Love feels better. The reason why we choose to separate, is from a past hurt that we’ve experienced and have reactivated within us. I do it all the time. I find reasons to support my hypothesis that all people disrespect and disclude me. I find reasons, to stay in fear cause it feels safer not to engage.

I’m writing this for myself, as a reminder to stay open. But staying open to me, feels unsafe to people who take my openness and subsequent vulnerability for granted, and use it to their advantage. That’s another unhelpful belief I have. When you support yourself, and love you, you start to recognize that maybe people aren’t all that different from me after all. Maybe we all feel fear, and the need to protect ourselves. Makes sense. So, finding a common denominator (my son is doing math now, so I’m into that line of thought) is important not only for equations but for humanity’s interconnectedness as well. Finding common ground, and similarities, is important if you make it so. Feeling a safe place where we can agree, and all land not feeling taken, and trust is a first step to acceptance. And acceptance is a gateway to inclusion. And inclusion is a gateway to belonging. And belonging is a shared desire of all people. The feeling of love, when unrequited, hurts. So does the unrequited love we have for ourselves.

Thanks again agent j. Continually redefining ourselves, and our definition of love is very important, because we only feel the love is unrequited, when we rely on others to fill us up.

Agent j: you now believe that you are love, and have enough within yourself, for yourself, and everyone else. Now, go forth (yet again, how many times do I have to tell you this..) and LOVE dammit!

Yes. Utilizing the ability to love within ourselves eradicates all of this mess. But the bravery it takes to step out of your comfort zone to do it, that’s up to you. What do you believe? Do believe love is hard, or is it easy? Our beliefs run the show. So let’s take a look at those beliefs for a minute. How do we feel about ourselves, our lives, others, their lives, their beliefs, on and on and on. When you choose love, all of that fades into the background.

We are vibrational beings. We feel first, then think, then compare and contrast, then act. You can feel when someone is loving or not. And what we believe also dictates their supposed intention. So it’s a 2 way street. If we pay attention to how we feel, and look for love, are open to love and understanding that aids in seeing it. If you can’t get there, then choosing the next most loving thought will eventually enable you to see the more loving results in your life. But, you have to stick with it in order to witness it. And sometimes you have to really try to look for it, cause in the current energy of the world today, what you see, is what you have already thought. Old energy shows up, even if we change our minds in the inside. That can feel like ass. “But I’m different, and I’m still experiencing the same crappy thing.” Looking for a solution from the old energy you are reactivating? Probably not going to yield a result you will be happy with. The solutions come, by not focusing on the problem, at least for a bit, until you can adjust.

My son me a new term to me, “disjoint sets” the definition- they are sets that have no members in common. Basically, my old mindset. And then there’s the good ole Ven diagram, I love that one. The definition of a ven diagram is common elements brought together by circles of inclusion. My definition, probably different on google.

But the fact remains, life feels better, when we can share a common bond. Love is that bond. Love, is the underlying answer to all questions, to all comments, and all concerns. It’s a basic principle of life, that I’m still learning. I hope to be brave enough to ace it someday. Either that, or maybe some genius will invent the neutralizer for real. But maybe that’ll only be a temporary fix; kinda like reading the cliff notes. But cliff notes gloss over a lot of the good details. And I think by eliminating the love, I lose the opportunity to feel it.

Now let’s love with everyone, even those that differ from us, and really feel it. Cause you will benefit from it. Class dismissed.

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[disappearinginq]

New Chapter for Bad Things Happen

And another square off of Bad Things Happen Bingo Card! 

Here on Fanfiction.net: Bad Things Happen

Here on AO3: Bad Things Happen

And here below the cut! 

Magnum didn’t even have time to duck. He was already turning towards the suspect when Higgins shouted a warning, which came two seconds too late and he caught the full swing of the shovel to the side of his face with an audible crack, rocking his head back so fast he saw stars. 

Thomas staggered backwards, his hand immediately going to his face as he felt blood well up on his tongue where his teeth sliced into his cheek. 

He knew it was broken even before his vision cleared. Knew it. He felt the bone shift under his fingers as he kept his hand in place, shock more than anything keeping him from trying to speak. Shock was weird. Rationally, Thomas knew it hurt like hell. Could taste copper on his tongue and tried not to gag as he accidentally swallowed some of it rather than open his mouth or even attempt to move it. 

It just felt…numb. Like a shot of Novocain from the dentist. A numbness that radiated from the corner of his jaw all the way across the side of his face. Experience told him it was temporary – as soon as his brain caught up, it was going to hurt like hell.  

It took him a moment to even realize that Higgins was trying to talk to him, and he had to forcefully make himself try and decipher what she was asking him. 

“-maybe next time duck?” she suggested archly, raising an eyebrow in disdain. 

Duck? When he was standing five feet away from a suspect he wasn’t even arresting who was supposed to be under the control of two uniformed police officers? Who, up until he got ahold of a landscaping shovel, had been entirely compliant with the police commands and expressed no signs of aggression? 

When he’d only turned around because she’d made a snide remark about being dragged out on another case he hadn’t actually invited her on?

“Let me see,” she ordered, and reached for his hand that was currently holding his jaw in place. 

He slapped her hand away with his free one, glowering at her. He hadn’t forgotten how easily she dismissed three broken ribs and getting nailed by a sedan hard enough to break the windshield. The last thing he felt like listening to was another lecture about how he needed to ‘man up’ despite breaking bones getting hit by gardening materials. Or comments about welcoming the peace and quiet she was sure to have if he couldn’t talk. 

Higgins recoiled, frowning, and for a moment, he thought she was going to realize it wasn’t just bruising, which he honestly wasn’t sure he knew what to do with. She’d never expressed concern before, and honestly, he wasn’t that great at taking it unless it was from his family. But just as quickly, the moment was gone, replaced by familiar contempt he still wasn’t sure what he did to incur. 

“Fine. Honestly, you would think you were made of glass,” she grumbled. The look she shot him was of utter disdain – the same one she had when she accused him of ‘man-splaining’ having a positive outlook doing door to doors, or when she thought he wasn’t suitably embarrassed at being hired to find children’s pets. 

Katsumoto hardly even glanced in his direction except to see he was still standing. “Maybe think about staying out of it next time, huh?”

Really? He thought. He didn’t even realize he was in the middle of an HPD investigation until Katsumoto showed up to tackle his suspect at the Home Depot gardening center. 

“What, no snappy comeback?” Higgins jibed. Thomas could tell she was waiting for him to do or say something, rather than just hold his hand against his mouth, pantomiming ‘speak no evil’, and for a split second, there was that flash of real concern – the same as when he was in the hospital after being hit by a car – and then….

“If you’re going to be a truculent child, you can sit over by the car. I’ll see what he knows about our client.”

Essentially, go to Time Out. Fine. Thomas made a mental note to ask Robin again how and why he knew Higgins well enough to have her employed as an estate manager, because it better be a corker of a story. 

He offered a rude gesture as soon as the majordomo’s back was turned, and one of the uni’s snickered as they lead the now much more restrained suspect away to the squad car. 

His mouth was beginning to throb. In a terrible catch 22. It hurt to touch, but he didn’t want to move his hand holding it relatively in place, because the pull of gravity was going to be worse. He knew it was starting to swell, and he wondered if – hoped – it was just the bone that broke. Bones could heal. Teeth, on the other hand…

As he considered walking back to the Ferrari, it suddenly occurred to him he was stuck.

Last he knew, 911 didn’t take texts, and he couldn’t drive with just one hand. He was either going to have to wait for Higgins and Katsumoto to be done – which could be minutes or hours, depending on how the investigation went, and despite her prickly attitude towards him, he knew she would at least do right by his client. One of them had to – and it wasn’t going to be him. Possibly one of the uniforms could take him, but given how much of a stickler Katsumoto was for rules and regs, he doubted they would be any more willing to help him, and he didn’t really want to try and get through to them what he needed. 

Not like he had a pen and paper handy to communicate, and he hated texting because he was awful at it. God only knew what autocorrect was going to come up with. 

A memory of a less than friendly hand on a dislocated jaw, forcibly snapping it back into place flashed through his mind. 

Nope. Not happening.  

Option two, then. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a short text to Rick. It was Thursday, so TC was at football practice. Even if he wanted to come, it would mean he’d have to cut practice short, call all the parents to come get their kids unexpectedly early, wait for them to be picked up and then come get him. 

Rick, on the other hand, would be busy stocking the bar for Thirsty Thursday for Fleet Week, and had enough employees to cover him long enough for Rick to come pick him up. 

Almost immediately, Rick responded. Good timing. The real work was about to start. Be there in a few. 

Thomas fought the urge to smirk, because god knew how much that was gonna hurt. He considered for a moment the best place to wait. The Ferrari was a first instinct, but it wasn’t exactly in the shade, and the last thing he wanted was to accidentally get blood all over the Italian leather interior and give Higgins one more grievance to file against him. 

He put his back to the squad car and allowed himself to slide to the ground and into the minimal shade offered by the car. The King Kamehameha wasn’t too far. Rick should be here before someone had to move the vehicle. He’d be fine. Just had to think of something besides the growing throb that was now shooting from his jaw up past his eye. 

He really, really wished he had an ice pack though. 

*(*

The text was a little weird. Come pick up Thomas at the nearby Home Depot because he needed a ride. Knowing Thomas, that could mean any one of a hundred things. He’d wrecked the Ferrari. The Ferrari had been repo’d again. He somehow got separated from the vehicle and needed a ride back to it. He had to separate from Higgins for a case, and was letting her take the car, and now needed another ride. Ferrari broke down. Any one of a hundred different benign reasons that shouldn’t mean anything too serious. 

Except Thomas didn’t like to text. He claimed it took too long, and he would rather just talk to someone than send a message, and texts could be from anyone who had the phone. He didn’t know if it went through, or if it was ignored, or someone didn’t hear it, et cetera. Rick wasn’t sure why Thomas always felt the need to justify little things like that, but he let it slide. 

Stranger still, the text wasn’t spelled out in whole sentence. Just a weird mish mash of autocorrect emojis and symbols with the address for the store, like Thomas was typing with only one hand. Badly. 

And Thomas didn’t answer the phone when Rick called him to let him know he was in the parking lot, where should he meet him? Which sent already hinky feelings spiraling towards flat out dread. 

There were at least three squad cars outside the garden center, and Katsumoto’s inconspicuous Chevy along with them. Rick winced. The detective wasn’t his least favorite person, but generally, he and Thomas got along about as well as water and oil. Especially if they were working opposite ends of a case, which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. 

Whatever they were doing, the cops looked busy searching for something. Or possibly someone? Except they already had at least one person sitting in the back of a squad car, who didn’t appear very happy.  

Rick searched the faces of the HPD and crime scene investigators, spotting Higgins and Katsumoto off to one side conferring with another detective he didn’t recognize. He expected Thomas to be close by – that man was always in the thick of it, whether he tried to be or not. He was a cosmic mess like that. 

But he wasn’t. 

In fact, it took almost a minute to find Magnum, and if it hadn’t been for the garish red and white Hawaiian shirt he had on, he doubted he would’ve seen him at all. 

The smaller man was sitting off to the side, completely away from the activity, back against the squad car tire and legs folded underneath him as he pressed both hands to his face, looking for all the world like a child stuck in the corner for misbehaving. 

Which, knowing Higgins and Katsumoto, that might actually be what happened. He just never imagined Thomas would listen to either one of them. 

“Hey, Thomas, I got your message, you wanna…” he trailed off, question forgotten before he could finish it. 

Thomas looked up as soon as he heard Rick’s voice, but he managed to do it without moving his face. Or his hands. And remained silent. 

Everything about it was red flag. But Thomas didn’t look too bad. And if he’d been really hurt, Katsumoto or Higgins would’ve made sure he was seen by a doctor, or at the very least, sent him off with one of the uniformed officers to the ER. Hell, he’d seen Magnum get treated by the ME before, if he was really in a pinch. 

Rick crouched down in front of him, hissing slightly when he saw the bruising on the side of Thomas’s face. “You keep this up, and I’m going to be the pretty one,” Rick joked lightly, gently brushing a wayward strand of hair out of Thomas’s face. The bruising was bad. Dark purple already, swollen up to his temple and down beyond where his face was hidden behind his hands. Rick was honestly surprised his eye hadn’t swelled shut, but there was a good chance it still would. “You get checked out by anyone?”

Thomas didn’t move. His dark eyes flicked over to the far side of the crime scene where Katsumoto and Higgins were still talking but didn’t give a word of explanation. 

Rick frowned. Magnum wasn’t the type to employ the silent treatment. Not unless he was really injured. But despite the rapidly darkening purple blossoming across the side of his face, Rick couldn’t tell what the hell was going on. No other scrapes or bruises or gunshot wounds or stabbings – he didn’t even have bruised knuckles from a fight. 

“Thomas,” he prompted quietly. “What’s going on?”

Magnum hunched forwards slightly, rolling his shoulders defensively. 

Rick wasn’t about to accept radio silence after being told to come and get his friend. He sat down on the grass opposite Thomas, close enough his knees were almost touching Magnum’s, and raised his right hand. “If you can’t talk, use this,” he said, moving his hand in unison to the words. 

It wasn’t ASL, not really. It was a highly bastardized version that Rick and Magnum created in Afghanistan. Rick wasn’t even sure if Thomas would remember those last few months well enough to remember their own private language, but at the time, it was the only way Rick could get him to communicate at all. After the…incident…with the gun, and Thomas took a knife to the side that needed cauterizing to stop bleeding, he’d gotten sick. Really sick. And for the first time landing behind bars, unnervingly passive. He stopped talking. He stopped engaging. They couldn’t tell if he was even aware of them, until Rick finally figured out a way for him to communicate if talking was too much. Hand gestures were easier for him to follow, and it let them ‘talk’ with no one else listening in.  

It’d saved his life, and Rick’s, more than once since then. 

Magnum watched his hands for a moment, expressive dark eyes following the movement before he cautiously moved his left hand away from his face. He stuck his index finger out, twisting his hand sideways towards himself. 

“Hurts? What hurts? I mean, besides your face, because that hurts just looking at it.” 

Moving carefully, and still with only one hand, Thomas pinched all of his fingers together, tapping at the top of his jaw before drawing it down to his chin, which was still covered by his hand. 

“Your jaw?” Rick echoed. 

Thomas didn’t even nod, keeping his face as still as possible. He didn’t have to say anything, though. The look of abject misery was enough. 

“If I pull you up, is that going to make you sick?”

Thomas carefully spelled out ‘no’ with his free hand. Then stopped, drawing a question mark in the air. 

Rick shook his head. “Real convincing, buddy. Real convincing. On the count of three, I’m gonna get you up, okay?” He gripped Magnum’s forearm. “Thumbs up for ‘yes’.”

Magnum had Rick’s elbow in a death grip, which made Rick frown because what the hell, Thomas actually thought he was going to need Rick to stand which made him think it was a concussion, but that didn’t explain why when asked what hurt, Thomas said it was his mouth, not his head. Magnum briefly extended his thumb up to indicate ‘go’, and in one fluid movement, Rick pulled him to his feet. 

Thomas stumbled slightly, his fingers tightening impossibly around Rick’s elbow as his other hand reflexively pushed harder against his mouth with a muffled yelp. 

Rick froze. Didn’t dare move as Thomas’s fingers started to shake, and he caught a suspicious brightness to his dark eyes before Thomas managed to duck his head away like he wanted to be sick but didn’t dare. 

This was more than just bruising. 

“Thomas,” Rick asked quietly. “How bad?”

Thomas’s fingers drummed against Rick’s arm, from pinkie to index finger. Four. Their scale only went to five.  

What. The. Hell.

“Should I be calling an actual ambulance?”

Thomas spelled out a quick n-o. 

So - painful, but not life threatening. Or, he didn’t want to be left alone to be poked and prodded by strangers, because contrary to popular media, ambulance personnel really didn’t want passengers that weren’t patients riding in the back with them, unless situations were dire. And Thomas was up, mobile, not bleeding out…just…quiet. 

“Here. Sit for a second.” Rick slowly maneuvered his friend to sit on the hood of the car. “I would like to not have to feel like this needs to be said, but it’s you. So, don’t move. I’ll be back in a second. I’m going to go let Katsumoto and Higgy know I’m taking you so they don’t think you’ve wandered off.” 

Thomas didn’t move his other hand, just gave a thumbs up, though he didn’t look particularly happy about it. Whether from being told to ‘sit and stay’ or that Rick was basically going to tell the other adults that Thomas had to leave, Rick wasn’t entirely sure. He thought Thomas, Katsumoto and Higgins were on slightly better terms as of late, but…

It’s not like Thomas would’ve said anything to the contrary. Go along to get along should be tattooed across his forehead. 

“How about I just tell one of the unis?” Rick suggested. Katsumoto’s people were pretty good about relaying messages, and Rick already knew half of them.  

Thomas’s dark eyes flitted towards one of the closest uniformed officers, and after a pregnant pause, shrugged one shoulder. 

Translation: fine - but he wasn’t happy about it. 

Yeesh. Whatever the story was, it was a corker, and Rick fought the urge to ask what happened. At least, he could wait until after the trip to the ER. He ventured a guess to Thomas’s reluctance to tell anyone, and suggested, “How about I just say I’m giving you a lift? Maybe leave the whole hospital thing out of it?”

The relief in those expressive eyes was almost tangible, and he held his free hand up in a clenched fist, bobbing it back and forth as if knocking on a door. Yes. 

So he just didn’t want anyone to know where he was going...which meant he didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt. Memories of the cave flashed unbidden and unwanted through his mind’s eye with enough force Rick fought the automatic flinch. 

Thomas’s hand tightened reassuringly on his forearm, drumming a quick beat of five with his fingertips, and Rick snorted. 

“It’s not a 5 problem. Gimme a minute, I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t move.”

A quick thumbs up and he went to the nearest LEO, raising his chin slightly in a half nod of greeting as they caught sight of him approaching. 

“Hey, just in case Katsumoto comes looking for him, I’m taking Thomas home, okay?” 

The officer grimaced in sympathy as he nodded. “I wouldn’t want to hang around after that, either. Tell him to ice it - 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off for the swelling. And aspirin. It should help the pain.”

“So you saw what happened?”

The man winced. “Yeah. The suspect got away from the guys holding onto him and before they could grab him, he caught Magnum in the face with an edger - or maybe it was a shovel?” The man folded his arms across his chest as he considered it. “Naw, it was a shovel. I remember thinking it sounded like he’d literally rung Magnum’s bell with it. I was really surprised he didn’t go down for it.”

Thomas took a shovel to the face...and no one thought to call for EMT’s to at least come check him out? They hadn’t even called him - Thomas had to. And from what the guy just said, more than one person witnessed it and did nothing more than let Thomas wander off on his own. 

“Did Noelani take a look at him?” he asked nonchalantly. 

The officer shook his head. “I honestly didn’t even know where he went off to, and there’s no DB’s, so she’s not here. Higgins tried to take a look at him, but he just slapped her hand away and walked off.”

Rick paused, considering. “Wait, what exactly was she trying to do?”

The LEO half shrugged. “I think she was trying to move his hand. Nothing major. But, he, uh, didn’t seem too appreciative of her efforts, so she told him to go sit out.”

Red started to edge in on the corner of Rick’s vision. “What’s the protocol when someone is injured at a crime scene or criminal apprehension?”

“Call the emergency services,” the man said without hesitation. “But –”

Rick held up a hand. “No, that answers my question. Next time the HPD needs intel on the crime syndicates in Honolulu, I’m going to tell you to get bent. Should the question come as to why I am going to just hang up on you every time you call, you can tell your supervisor it’s all on him.”

The LEO looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn’t entirely sure what – maybe he just didn’t want to have to be the one to tell Katsumoto that his days of helping out the Organized Crime Unit were over, but Rick found it hard to care.

Not unlike a certain two someones who were supposed to be if not friends, at least not assholes to his best friend.

He left without further explanation, flexing his fingers from their tightly clenched fists at his side, ignoring the fact he’d pressed crescent shaped marks into each palm. He didn’t hit anyone, and he didn’t yell, so he was going to mark this as a progress win when TC asked him about it later.

Thomas was already sitting in the Porsche, slouched down impossibly low so he could rest his head against the back of the seat without tilting his head. He only opened his eyes when the entire car shook with the force that Rick slammed the door with.

Thomas raised an eyebrow, and held up one hand, four fingers splayed out and his thumb towards his chin and wiggled his fingers back and forth. Wanna talk about it?

“No. And for future reference, your new friends suck.”

Magnum frowned at that, but he took one quick glance at Rick’s face and his entire expression softened. He tapped Rick’s shoulder and held his index finger up. His hand still pressed against his mouth hiding most of his lower face, but Rick could still tell the man was smiling.

Well…as best he could.

Ever the diffuser, Thomas Magnum.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re my favorite too.” He put the Porsche in gear. “Remember this next time I need help with inventory.”

(*(

Thomas was not a good patient. He wasn’t even an okay patient. He was a nightmare.

Most of the time.

Right now, he was so passive, Rick had to keep fighting the urge to check his pulse or his forehead with the back of his hand, because the last time Thomas was this quiet, he had malaria.

Because he was upright and moving and cognizant, he wasn’t prioritized in the ER, which meant they got to hurry up and wait their turn. The initial nurse, a harried looking man who was profoundly apologetic for not being able to take Thomas back immediately, at least managed to get Thomas to move his fingers away from his cheek so he could see the extent of bruising.

“You probably already know this, but yeah, that’s broken. You’re gonna need x-rays to see how bad and whether or not you need surgery to fix it. Are you having trouble breathing? Do you feel the urge to throw up?”

Thomas signed the n-o again, and before Rick could interpret, the nurse breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. If that changes, get one of the staff immediately. Unfortunately, it also means you’re gonna have to wait to see the doc. Can you move your hand?”

Again with the n-o.

“Because it hurts, or because you’re holding it in place?”

Magnum held up two fingers.

“Second option,” Rick clarified, even as he winced in sympathy for his friend.

“Can you move your fingers without moving your palm?”

Cautiously, Magnum bowed his fingers back except for his thumb, which was braced against the worst part of the bruising.

“Well, I can’t the inside of your mouth from the outside, so that’s a good sign. I can’t confirm without the x-ray, but do you feel like your teeth are lining up? Don’t move your mouth to find out, just best guess.”

Magnum rolled one shoulder. He didn’t know.

“All right. Sit tight, Mr. Magnum. Someone will be with you as soon as they can. Can you fill out your medical forms?”

Rick held up his clipboard, ninety percent of it already filled out – previous injuries taking up a back page in addition to the check list on the front. “Already on it.”

The nurse heaved a sigh of relief. “I wish everyone was that well-prepared. If he starts to having breathing problems, or something gets drastically worse – swelling starts to spread, blood starts coming from places it shouldn’t, he throws up, anything else that screams ‘emergency we’re gonna die’, get the desk nurse immediately.”

With that, he was darting off again to the next patient on his list, and Rick and Thomas got to settle into a comfortable – albeit worrisome, as far as Rick was concerned – silence.

Sort of silent.

Rick kept up an endless running monologue of whatever he could think of. Mostly narrating what he thought was going on with anyone who came through the doors. One older pair of gentlemen with one pressing a blood soaked rag to his head while the other apologized – ‘moving troubles’ was their backstory; another was a dad and two teenage girls, one with a clearly broken arm and the other with two didn’t need a backstory. The dad was complaining loudly enough about ‘why would you think the rock would move out of your way?!’ that they didn’t need explanation.

They’d only been waiting for about half an hour when two people entered that needed no introduction.

Katsumoto and Higgins.

And they looked less than pleased.

It wasn’t until Magnum tensed beside him in the waiting room chair that it occurred to him that they weren’t upset over Thomas being in the ER, and with one quick look at Thomas’s face, he knew Thomas didn’t think they were there for support, either.

He stood, carefully putting himself between him and Thomas, who remained sitting, pressing himself back into the chair like he wanted to just sink right through it.

“Hey, guys,” he said lightly. “How’s it going?”

“I can’t believe you left me stranded there!” Higgins erupted without preamble. “Not even a word of where you’d gone, just…up an vanished without so much as a by your leave!”

Rick had always been…wary…of positional authority. In the Marines, he learned real quick that the only way a higher up cared about what happened to you is if you had some solid blackmail material. Greene’s kid in Kabul was only one in a long list of shady deals he made to stay out from under the thumb of another officer. When suicide rates skyrocketed to numbers not seen since WWII, their idea of fixing the problem was to just stop reporting it. Enlisted men with brain damage were authorized as fit for full and sent right back onto the range to die from enemy fire so the Marines wouldn’t have to report it a failure to disclose. One medical officer even put a knife in front of a suicidal man and told him to prove he was really suicidal, and when the man failed to take the knife on the spot, they armed him up again, sent him back out and…the Marine killed not only himself, but three others in his unit. The officers were bad, make no mistake. If Thomas and TC hadn’t come along, his service probably would’ve ended with him in Leavenworth for fragging an officer. But it was the other enlisted personnel that set his teeth on edge. The ones that were the same rank but put into positions of authority that thought it gave them the right to dictate everything their fellow Marines did, and write up demerits and disciplinary review boards for simple things like not making it to the line fast enough, for missing buttons because they’d been through hell the day before, or blood still caked their uniforms from fallen comrades and they hadn’t had a chance to replace them because the uniform issue had been out for six weeks, or that their pant legs weren’t properly tucked into blousing straps like the American military version of the SS or the Taliban’s informers.  

Higgins reminded him of those guys. No rank to speak of, but quick to complain about everything that mildly inconvenienced her. And it never really sat right with him that she harped on Thomas for everything when she lived in the main mansion rent free, same as Thomas, just because she personally didn’t approve of his lifestyle. It’s not like Robin and Thomas were strangers and the man didn’t know full well what type of person Thomas was when he offered the guest house to him with free run of the place and all it entailed.

“Take a breath, Higgy,” he said, forcing the same levity into his tone. “Wanna run that by me again? This time, perhaps taking into full account of where you’re standing?”

Because he totally took Magnum to the ER for funsies on a Wednesday afternoon.

The implication seemed lost on her, because she didn’t so much as bat an eye.

“You left, without telling us, and you took the keys to the Ferrari with you! A three hundred and fifty thousand dollar car being left in a Home Depot parking lot because you couldn’t be bothered to wait –”

“The better question is why I had to take him in the first place,” Rick snapped, patience gone. “The officer we did tell said not only were you standing right next to him, but other then tell him to go sit in the corner, you pretty much did nothing. Thomas was the one who had to text me to come get him.”

Higgins huffed, crossing her arms defensively over her chest as she rocked back on one heel. “It was bruising. He had worse when he was hit by the car.”

“So you’re a medical professional, huh?” Rick asked. “You can make a diagnosis on the fly like that?”

“I’ve seen my fair share of serious injuries,” she said icily. The implication that this wasn’t one of them had Rick crossing his arms to prevent him from doing something more…emphatic.

“Cool story. You wanna tell the actual ER nurse he’s wrong then?” Rick suggested, pointing to the same nurse who was taking a look a boy’s face that was scraped to hell and back from road rash. “He’s right over there. The one wearing the actual scrubs. Working in an actual hospital. With actual training. ‘Cause he took one look at Thomas and said it was broken but needed x-rays to determine how badly. But I guess he’s an idiot too, huh? Because the mighty Juliet Higgins, ex-patriated and disavowed MI-6 agent, is never in the wrong, took a half-assed look at Thomas in the garden center and decided he was fine. That’s why you’re in exile as a goddamn housekeeper. Because you make no mistakes.”

It had nothing to do with the actual argument. But Rick didn’t much give two shits at this point. He never made it past an E-5 in the Marines because he was never willing to let stupid stand, regardless who the person dishing it out was. Private to four-star General, it didn’t matter. It irked him how Higgins’s behavior was closer to jealousy than anything else – of what, damned if he knew. That people actually liked Thomas? That she wasn’t the only stray Robin let stay at the Nest?

Katsumoto on the other hand, looked impassive as always, which Rick sort of marveled at. How that man remained as stoic as a statue, he would love to know. He could use it to make a killing at the poker tables.

“The officer you spoke with failed to mention the severity of Magnum’s injury,” the detective said. “And while it didn’t occur to me to call someone – you, or an ambulance – it should’ve, and I am sorry about that. But Magnum also left a crime scene where he was assaulted, and I need to know if he wants to press charges against the suspect, especially if it’s as serious as you think it is.”

A hand at his elbow stopped Rick from giving a kneejerk response as he turned to look at Thomas, who was signing rapidly.

“No, no, no – I’m not repeating that.”

Thomas spelled it out more emphatically, before digging his hand into his pocket, fishing out the Ferrari keys and holding them out to Higgins.

“That doesn’t look like any sign language I know,” Higgins muttered, snatching the keys as if she thought Thomas was going to pull a ‘psych!’ moment and pull them away. “Let me guess – he’s sorry and will never do it again?”

Rick’s head whipped back towards her so fast he was surprised he didn’t get whip lash, but before he could say anything, Thomas’s hand gripped his elbow. The younger man was looking faintly green and for a moment, Rick thought he’d gotten his attention because he was about to be sick.

Instead, Thomas made another gesture, a thumb drawn down from his chin followed by a half sign of his thumb and index finger pressed together, like the sign for ‘ok’, except the bouncing motion that was typically off his other hand. Not worth it.

“Jesus Christ, Thomas, no, this is bullshit, and I’m not – ”

Thomas glared at him, his dark eyes saying more than any gesture, but he repeated the signs, this time more emphatically. Not worth it.

Rick huffed, but said nothing, plastering a fake smile on his face. “Is that it?”

“I take it you can’t give a statement until you see the doctor?” Katsumoto guessed. The detective at least at the decency to look mildly sympathetic now that he could see the severe bruising darkening the entire side of Thomas’s face.

Thomas spelled out a quick n-o, which Rick easily translated.

“Do you intend to press charges?”

Another no, which Rick fought the urge to argue with, even though it was unsurprising. Thomas didn’t even hold a grudge against Hannah, now that she was dead. Of course he wouldn’t hold it against a stranger with a shovel. Rick, on the other hand, was far less magnanimous, hoped the guy was going down for something heinous and was looking down a sentence of 10 to 15 years in prison.

“In that case, I’ll take Higgins back so she can pick up the car. If you change your mind…” Katsumoto eyed the bruising. “Send a text. Oh, and if it is broken? Take some advice from personal experience -invest in a blender and some straws. And lots of aspirin.”

“Well, if his jaw is broken, I suppose at least I can look forward to some peace and quiet at the Nest,” Higgins said loftily, one elegant eyebrow raising slightly.

That was it. It wasn’t perhaps the nicest thing for her to say, but that seemed part and parcel for Higgins and anything to do with Thomas – but it hit a little too close to still raw nerves, of memories of guards laughing at the peace and quiet they finally had when Thomas stopped talking – and something snapped.

“You’re the worst kind of human being, you know that?” Rick snarled. “Thomas doesn’t even bat an eye when you ask him for favors. He doesn’t complain about you having a stick shoved up your ass about how he lives in a completely different house than you. You can bitch about him asking favors all you want, but you’re a grown ass adult, and you can say no if it really bothers you all that much, but for the love of God, just stop complaining about everything he does or doesn’t do. Or maybe next time you get shot and fall in the ocean miles from shore, Thomas can stay on the damn boat and enjoy some peace and quiet of his own.”

The Brit bristled, and for a moment, Rick saw a brief flash of something that might’ve been guilt, but faster than it appeared, it was gone again, replaced by the all too familiar sense of pride and superiority.

“My job is to look after Mr. Masters’ estate, and that includes and is not limited to the main house, the guest house, the property or the cars. If Magnum wants to play it fast and loose with a three hundred and fifty thousand dollar vehicle, that’s his business, but making sure it is returned – unscathed and unharmed is my business, which is very difficult to do when he takes off without warning with the keys in his pocket.”

“The car? The car?! Do you know why Robin puts goddamn numbers on those fucking license plates? Because he has so. Many. Goddamn. Cars. But there’s only one Thomas. One. And you care more about the goddamn car—about fucking metal and gears and fiberglass and rubber—than about my friend. About a human being. The car. I hope the goddamn car is in fucking pieces by the time you get back. But even if it was Robin would just get another one. Can’t exactly do that with Thomas, now, can you?”*

Higgins threw up her hands in exasperation. “Even if it is broken, it’s not that serious an injury! Why either you or he couldn’t find the time –”

Thomas stopped her without saying a word. He just moved his hand.

And his entire jaw simply…slid to one side, dropping down almost an inch, his cheek hollowing out as the bone shifted out of place, blood bubbling up past his lips which were already stained crimson, like the palm of his hand that’d been holding it in place. He must’ve sliced the inside of his cheek on his teeth, blood pooling in his mouth the entire time and Rick felt slightly ill wondering if Magnum had swallowed it or was just letting it slowly seep out against his hand.

Higgins turned green.

Katsumoto, unemotional as ever, deadpanned – “Yeah, that looks dislocated and broken. Sure you don’t want to press charges?”

Rick should’ve kept quiet, but that was never a strong suit of his when his friends were hurt – especially not Thomas. “Yeah, Higgy. I guess you’re right. Hardly worth the trip to the hospital, right?”

There was a squawk of indignation from behind them, and the male nurse reappeared before the argument could continue. “What happened? Was it always like this and you just didn’t know, or is this worse? Come with me – you’ve been upgraded to now status.” He glanced quickly at Rick. “Family?”

“That’s me,” Rick said, without a hint of guile.

“I was hoping you’d say that – let’s go. You –” he pointed at Magnum. “Hold your hand under your mouth to catch the blood. Biohazard and all that…” Anything else he said to Thomas was lost as he escorted the private investigator back towards what was presumably x-ray and exam.  

Rick shot the majordomo a scathing look before following after. “Staring is rude. Don’t you have a three hundred and fifty thousand dollar car to worry about?”

If the parting remark had any effect on her, he didn’t stick around to find out. Thomas was already trying to look back over his shoulder, wondering where he was, and he couldn’t care less about the two people in the ER lobby right now.

[gimmeyoon]

Tag Game

tagged by: @ddaenggtan whom I love and is one half of two spider-man’s pointing at each other

:: nickname(s): B, BayB, Sherbert (Based on my real name this is risky), Bob (Because my phone autocorrects BB to Bob and so my best friend and I call each other that).

:: bias: In BTS, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook (Because I am a whore)

:: blood type: I genuinely do not know, I think A+ .....

:: favourite food: Tofu and rice from a very specific Chinese place near my undergrad school OR from Sticky Rice, Asparagus, Pasta of any type, Tofurky sandwich

:: birthday: March 11, 1997

:: zodiac: Pisces Sun, Aries Moon, Sagittarius Rising

:: pronouns: she/her

:: hair length: OKAY right now it is SO LONG I’ve had short hair since I started senior year of High School, and now, 6 years later, my hair is an inch or 2 past my shoulders (I think I should cut it)

:: height: i am 5′3″ and one time I said “tall people should always be afraid” as I stood on a stool because BEING THAT HIGH UP IS SCARY 

:: a crush: I have a new crush every room I walk into I am hopeless also what ever happened to Alex the regular that I blushed around why did he stop coming to my Starbucks Alex I miss you

:: what do you like about yourself: I like my style and my confidence. I took me a really long time to feel good about myself, but I feel like I’m finally as confident as everyone always thought I was. I like my creativity and how empathetic I am. 

:: left or right handed: I am right handed but live in fear that I was supposed to be left handed based on my mom’s haunted memory of taking the marker out of my left hand as a child and putting it into my right and immediately regretting it.

:: list of 3 favourite colours: CURRENTLY: pastel pink, neon green, and pastel purple

:: (right now) eating: nothing, but I have a Mediterranean grain bowl from Panera in front of me  for later so I could use their wifi

:: (right now) drinking: Starbucks venti iced coffee with soy, light ice, and 3 pumps of cinnamon dolce syrup.

:: i’m about to: start planning for Spring semester which starts tomorrow! 

:: listening to: my Korean music playlist, which is named 음악, because Google translate told me that’s how you write music in Korean, if it’s wrong please tell me I don’t want to be embarrassed. It’s my most listened to playlist and more specifically I am listening to Tell Me What To Do by SHINee

:: kids: Does my cat count? I call her my baby and her name is Mochi. Or is this like do I want to have them? Yes, I have wanted to be a mom since I was very little, but that’s also maybe because of child hood trauma that we do not have time to unpack, anyways I always pictured myself as a mom but like not as a wife? So kids even if I’m a single mom. 

:: get married: LMAO according to the above I am not like that invested in it, but also I am down to get married one day. I’m genuinely happy alone and I don’t actively seek out romantic relationships BUT ALSO I WANT TO BE LOVED DAMN IT. Idk one day but no time soon.

:: recent phone call: My mom because she face timed me and I could tell it was a butt dial and I was right. 

:: (have u ever) dated someone twice: No. I am the type of person that is done when I’m done and my mind isn’t going to be changed. Also I never liked anyone I dated that much OOP.

:: been cheated on: Probably, like they swore to the end that they didn’t, but he immediately started dating the girl (my best friend) that I swore he was cheating on me with SO LIKE EMOTIONALLY YES.

:: kissed someone and regretted it: Literally one of my boyfriends, and yet even after regretting the kiss I DATED HIM WHAT THE HELL

:: lost someone special: Yes. No way to make this entertaining or funny sorry.

:: been depressed: We are thicc into the effects of seasonal affective disorder SO YES (I’m sorry that effects my work on this blog and is proof that being depressed TM does not make you a better artist I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT NOW)

:: been drunk and thrown up: OKAY so yes, the first time was my freshman year of college and I WAS WASTED, and then not again until MY SENIOR YEAR where I would be LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK. I learned the hard way that when I am out and my friend says WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS if my immediate answer is yes, it should be no, because I never want to take a shot unless I am already too drunk. 

:: had glasses or contacts: I have both! I’ve had glasses since the first grade and I got contacts in the 7th grade, which I prefer because I like seeing in my peripheral.

:: had sex on the first date: well as a Virgin TM, no

:: broken someone’s heart: Yes, and I am not sorry OOP

:: turned someone down: Yes, and it is always awkward I hate it

:: cried when someone died: Yes, every time

:: fallen for a friend: Yes, refer back to I have a new crush every room I enter 

:: (in the last year have you) made a new friend: YES, I moved to a whole new state and made friends on this here website

:: laughed until u cried: Yes and its one of my favorite emotions

:: met someone who changed u: I think everyone we truly get to know and meet changes us in some way.

:: found out who your true friends were: Yes and that shit hurted

:: found out someone was talking about you: Probably, I am pretty oblivious to things like that, so I could genuinely never realize. 

:: lips or eyes: Eyes I guess. I’ve never thought about it but I guess I think more about eyes than lips when it comes to a person. 

:: hugs or kisses: Kisses are great but HUGS hit DIFFERENT. You can kiss random people and it means nothing except hey you’re hot, but THE THOUGHT of the person I love hugging me tight EUPHORIC

:: romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic gestures

:: hookup or relationship: Relationship, even though like to think I’m a bad bitch that can’t be locked down, I also need to be comfortable with a person before I can be intimate.

:: first best friend: from birth until the beginning of high school, growing apart from her was worse than any break-up I’ve ever had and I still think about how my mom held me in the car while I cried about the end of our friendship. 

:: surgery: nope

:: sports i joined: I did Softball and basketball until high school, played JV volleyball for one year in the 8th grade, and then after that I was a Cheerleader.

:: do u believe in yourself: Sometimes. Recently when Fall semester ended I thought I did really poorly on my final papers, but when I presented in both classes people were really impressed. I had even started to wonder if trying to get my PhD was unrealistic. I think it was the reminder I needed that I am smart and strong and I can do most things if I set my mind to them, so I’m dedicated to believing in myself in 2020.

:: miracles: I don’t know. Maybe. I hate to take a strong stance and say no, but I’ve also never seen one. 

:: love at first sight: I believe in like at first sight, but not love. Love is a verb and requires work. Love is so much more than just seeing someone, it involves looking into their soul and saying I recognize the light in you and I love it. 

:: heaven: I was raised religious but idk man. It’s crazy because of how strongly I felt about this 6 years ago.

:: do u have any pets: My parents have a dog that I lived with until 6 months ago and I have a cat. I want another cat uwu.

:: do u want to change your name: No, I love my name. But my alias on here, I think about changing it all the time.

:: what did u do for your last birthday: I went out with my friends, and did really cute makeup, and was really feeling myself. 

:: what time did u wake up today: I got to sleep in since I had the day off, so 10:00 am.

:: what were u doing last night at midnight: Sleeping my dude, I passed out at like 10:00 pm

:: something i can��t wait for: my whole life I’ve been waiting to live the life I want to live, and I know this is a sad thing to say, but I still feel that way. It’s hard to change my mentality, but I’m very future focused. 

:: last time u saw your mum: AHHH recently! My parents came up last week and I got to see them for the first time since November, and my mom cried WHEN SHE WALKED INTO MY APARTMENT 

:: what is one thing u wish u could change about your life: I wish I could finally make a solid group of friends where I currently live, but I am very nervous about it and I don’t put myself out there ooof I also would like to stop procrastinating the things I want to do like my YouTube channel and I want to stop being depressed and I want to go to NYC more often

I’d like to tag…. @strawbxxymilk @honiboyyoon @helpitskpop @sketchguk 

[shy-marker-pliers]

Yellow, Yellow, Yellow.

Characters: Google Yellow (Oliver) Google Blue, Bingiplier

Ships: I guess you could interpret some of it as Oliver/Bing?

Warnings: Capslock (one sentence), Swearing (once), slight angst.

“Well I guess he does look a little bit like an Oliver...” Mark’s tumblr read. Google Yellow stopped for a moment in order to process the new data, the android equivalent of confusion. 

“Red, Green, Blue!“ He called out.

The other three Google IRL models, his ‘brothers’, came to Yellow’s station as soon as they heard him.

“Do you require our assistance, Yellow?” Blue asked in his usual monotone.

“Mark has stated on his tumblr account that I look like an Oliver. Why?“

Green quickly scrolled through Mark’s social media, the others looking over his shoulder as he did so.

“Here. He was making a tweet about all of us and referred to us by our colors, but his phone’s autocorrect changed your name to Oliver. A simple error.” He explained. 

Satisfied with the results, Blue Green, and Red went back to their stations, and Yellow stayed at his. “Oliver...” he whispered to himself.

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be gathering data on the Community.”

“I am. Sort of...” Yellow muttered as he dismissed his holographic screen. 

Blue sighed. “I saw your screen. You were searching ‘google Oliver’ on tumblr. You’re not being productive.”

“That’s what They call me now. They say it’s my new name.“ he said, ignoring Blue’s comment. 

Blue stared at the other for a few seconds and sighed.

“Get back to work, Yellow.“ He said quietly.

“Bing? are you in there?” Yellow asked, knocking on the door to Bing’s room. when the other android answered, Yellow sighed and looked down at his feet. 

“I...require your assistance.“

Bing chuckled and opened the door to let Yellow in. “Never thought i’d live to see the day when a Google would be askin’ me for help. first time for everything, I guess.” he mused, flopping down in a beanbag chair and gesturing for the other to do the same.

Yellow gingerly lowered himself next to Bing as he took his sunglasses off, revealing his glowing orange irises. 

“Talk to me, dude.” he said with a surprisingly serious expression. 

“They’re calling me Oliver.“ Yellow mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“And...?” 

“I don’t know! They gave me a name, and now...Yellow just doesn’t seem like me anymore. I know it sounds dumb and illogical, but when I saw the art and stories and stuff people made for me, it was so nice to finally be recognized as a-a person and not just one of the googles.” he paused to catch his breath and wiped his eyes.

“Jeez dude, that’s...you’ve got a lot on your mind, huh?“

Yellow simply nodded. “Some of them call me Ollie, Bing. They call me Ollie and it makes me want everyone else to call me that too, but if  Red, Green, and Blue found out...I have no idea how they’d react.” He whispered, his voice cracking. He buried his face in his hands and took a few shaky breaths as Bing rubbed his back comfortingly. 

“To be honest, I don’t really think it would matter that much to them? Like, you could just tell them you wanna be Oliver from now on. I don’t think they’d flip their shit or anything. then again, you know them better than I do.“

“It’s not that easy...My brothers, they’re all about efficiency and logic. I don’t need to be Oliver to do my job, therefore i’m not Oliver, you know?“

“Yeah, I do. If you don’t wanna tell them that’s cool, but if you ever need to talk about it again, my door’s always open, yeah?“ Bing smiled, getting up from his beanbag chair and holding his hand out to Yellow, who took it and stood up.

Yellow looked at him with a grateful smile. “Thank you, Bing.” He said, pulling him into a hug.

“No problem.”

“Yellow, could you assist me in looking over this data?“ Blue asked. The question itself was innocent enough, but it made him flinch nonetheless. 

It was nothing new. Ever since his talk with Bing, Yellow-if he could even call himself that anymore-found himself hating his name more and more.

“Yes, of course.“ 

He walked over to Blue’s station and stood next to him. the two processed the data in silence for a while before Blue spoke.

“I saw you go into Bing’s room yesterday.“

The statement caught Yellow off guard, especially with the nonchalance Blue had said it with. So much so that he let out a small squeak.

“I...simply needed to ask him something.“

“We are much more efficient at answering questions. Why didn’t you ask one of us, Yellow?“

Yellow felt his fingers twitch. He knew that Blue meant nothing by it, of course, he couldn’t have known how much he hated his name.

“It was a personal matter.”

“Why didn’t you talk to us about it? We are your brothers, after all.”

“I...just needed a different perspective.”

“I don’t believe you. What is the real problem, Yellow?”

“THAT! IT’S THAT FUCKING NAME, I...I can’t take it anymore, Blue! I don’t want to be Yellow anymore, I can’t be...I want to be Oliver. That’s why I was talking to Bing. I needed advice on how to tell you. I was...I was scared of what you would say. What you would think of me.”

“Names are just identifiers. Why should it matter what you are called?”

“It’s not like that for me, Blue. For you, Green, and Red maybe, but for me names are more than words. They’re who you are, not just what you’re called, and I don’t feel like i’m Yellow anymore. I feel like i’m Oliver.”  

Blue stared at him, and for a moment Yellow was terrified that he’d made a horrible mistake, but he just turned back to his screen.

“I suppose I will have to change your name in my database, then.“

Yellow-now named Oliver- gasped in disbelief. “Really? you don’t care if I change my name?”

“Not particularly, no.“

“T-thank you so much, Blue.“

“Of course, Oliver.“

Hearing his new name come out of someone else’s mouth was incredible. Oliver practically glowed with happiness. He finally felt complete.

[faberlewis-blog]

For Us- Part 6

*Authors Note: Growing up in a world where you’re considered different can be stifling. Especially when you open a book or turn on your TV and you see no one like you. This story about two women trying their hand at love is my attempt to help chip away at that loneliness.

It took Kenny exactly eight days to finally decide to use Lisa’s number. To say Lisa felt it was about time would be considered an understatement. She even wondered for a moment if she would hear from the blond at all. Finally, at about 9:40 Saturday night, a text from an unknown contact rang through. “Hey it’s me,” the text read.

“I don’t know anyone named me,” she replied.

“How unfortunate for you. I really am worth knowing,” she sent back with no hesitation. “What are you doing?” came through just moments later.

“I’m at home.”

“I’d like to see you.”

“When?”

“Right now. I’ll come to you.”

“Wait,” Lisa sent, deciding to be cautious even though she was sure she knew who was texting her, “Who is this?”

“Kenan.”

“Kent.”

“Dammit.”

“Kenny!”

“Having trouble?” Lisa asked.

“Autocorrect thinks my name is made up,” she responded. Lisa laughed to herself and she typed out her address.

“Ok I’m leaving my house now. I’ll be there in an hour.” She read the woman’s response in confusion. Lisa’s home was only about six miles from Kenny’s. It shouldn’t take that long even with terrible traffic.

“Why so long?” she asked.

“I’m running,” Kenny answered.

“It’s so late! Just drive.”

“I don’t have a car,” Kenny text. Now that Lisa had thought about it, she had never seen the girl do anything but walk. She had always just assumed she had a car parked somewhere.

“Stay where you are. I’ll come to you,” Lisa typed out quickly, as she dug into her purse for her keys.

“Ok, we are on the roof.” Lisa responded to this text with a question mark, but Kenny gave no further explanation for this odd location.

When she arrived at Kenny’s apartment, she realized it was not going to be hard to find her way to the roof. There was clearly a party in full swing. There were even a couple of girls on the stairs ahead of her that seemed to be going that way. When the door to the roof swung open, the first person she saw was the blond, dragging on a cigarette. They made eye contact right away despite the approximate twenty feet between them. Kenny smiled widely. She tossed her cigarette to the side and hurried towards her. Before Lisa could even say a word the singer had both arms wrapped around her, lifting her off the ground as she kissed her enthusiastically.

“I’m glad you’re here!” was the first thing she said.

“So am I!” Lisa replied, “Are you drunk?” Kenny was by no means sloppy, but her eyes were slightly glassy and her smile was wider than normal. She could tell the usually closed off woman was less guarded than usual, leading her to the conclusion that she was drunk.

“No,” Kenny answered, “I don’t drink.” Both of them chuckled at the obvious sarcasm.

“Won’t your neighbors get mad that you guys are partying up here?” Lisa questioned.

“No, they’re all here,” Kenny shared.

“Lisa!” Jason yelled from the other side of the roof, where he sat next to the keg and another man she didn’t recognize. She waved to him. At that moment, Heather, the waitress from the bar, slid up behind Kenny, looping her arm in with the blond’s while she did so.

“Who’s your friend?” she asked. Heather stared at her with clear disinterest written on her face.

“We have not been formally introduced,” she answered for herself, extending her hand, “I’m Lisa.”

“Heather,” the brunette replied, returning her handshake, “How do you know Kenny?”

“She sang me a song once,” Lisa told her.

“And I haven’t left her alone since,” Kenny jumped in.

“I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around,” Lisa argued. Heather could barely contain her eyeroll. Lisa would be lying if she didn’t admit to enjoying the girl’s jealousy of her.

“I’m going to go say hi to Jason,” Lisa informed Kenny. To add fuel to Heather’s fire, she stepped forward and gave Kenny a small kiss as she passed.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Jason asked, “This is no place for a classy lady like you.”

“Kenny text me,” she answered.

“I told her not to drunk text you,” Jason said with a laugh.

“He did!” Kenny’s voice coming from behind Lisa surprised her. She hadn’t realized she had followed her. “I didn’t listen.” Jason filled a red solo cup out of the keg and handed it to her. She was not a beer drinker, but she swallowed down some of the foam just to be polite.

“Thank you,” she said, doing her best not to choke on the bitter taste, “It’s your night off. Why are you still bartending?”

“Pass out the booze and you’ll always be everyone’s favorite person at the party,” Jason joked. “This is Tom,” he said, referencing the man next to him.

“Hi,” Lisa said.

“Hey,” Kenny greeted him, almost in unison with her.

“You don’t know him?” Lisa inquired.

“No,” she replied.

“Me neither,” Jason stated, “He just showed up here.”

“I know Heather,” he said, “You’re Kenny aren’t you? I’ve heard of you.”

“How do you know who I am?” Kenny asked.

“Heather told me what you did for her,” Tom replied.

“Which time?” Jason asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Don’t be crude, asshole,” Kenny scolded, kicking him in the shin as she did.

“The doctor time,” Tom said, “Seriously thanks for that. You really saved her ass.”

“Oh that,” Kenny said, “Jason helped.”

“What did they do?” Lisa asked.

“She had to spend an unexpected two weeks in the hospital,” Tom said, “Kenny worked all of her shifts at the bar for her. Clocked in under her so she still got a paycheck and gave her the tips too.”

“Oh wow. That’s so nice,” Lisa exclaimed.

“She needed help,” Kenny said, shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal, “I didn’t have money to give her and Jason knew her employee code so we just clocked her in and I filled in.”

“It wasn’t completely on the up and up but it all worked out in the end,” Jason added.

“It helped a lot,” Tom informed them, “Medical bills are bitch but they’re easier to handle when your rent stays paid.”

“You seem to know Heather pretty well,” Lisa commented.

“I should,” he replied, “She’s my sister.”

“Oh damn,” Jason said, “Sorry about that sex joke.” Kenny and Lisa laughed at his expense as the blush crept up his cheeks.

“That’s our cue to get out of here,” Kenny said, “I’ll catch you guys later.” Grabbing Lisa hand, she spun her around into the crook of her arm. Together they walked away from the two men. Kenny removed the beer from her hand and gulped it down in three fast swigs. “I could tell you hated that.”

“Yeah beer isn’t really my thing,” she admitted.

“Do you want to get out of here?” the blond asked, “Hang out? Just us?”

“I would love to,” Lisa replied, “Should we go down to your place?”

“Nah Jason will be down there in a little while,” Kenny said, “I told him he could crash with me.”

“My place then,” Lisa decided, as she directed their path towards the stairs.

“So,” Lisa began, once they were finally in her car, “What you did for Heather, that was pretty amazing.”

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Kenny shrugged it off, “I don’t really want that to get around. Once people get it in their head that you’re a helpful person that’s all they want from you.”

“That’s an incredibly cynical outlook,” she replied.

“Find me one giving person that doesn’t know that to be a fact,” she responded, “Maybe they’re not bitter. Maybe they still give but they all know it’s true. The only thing anyone needs them for is whatever they can get from them.”

“Were you guys dating at the time or something?” Lisa asked. She knew the answer before she asked, but she was curious about Kenny’s history with Heather, and was unwilling to just ask her straight out.

“No,” she answered, “I’m not really the dating type, remember? We had this… fling I guess… it wasn’t even really that… it was a long time ago.” Lisa nodded. There was a long moment where they drove in silence. Lisa could see Kenny’s head sort of roll in her direction as she attempted to focus her drunken mind on her. “You can ask.”

“Ask what?”

“Whatever you want,” she informed her, “I know you’re curious about Heather.”

“It’s none of my business,” Lisa replied, “She just… clearly hates me… a lot.”

“I met her right when I got back from the Iraq,” Kenny shared.

“When was that?” Lisa asked.

“2010. I was stationed in Texas at the time. I came up here to visit Jason. Actually neither of them worked at The Top yet. We were at this bar called the Cedar Inn. That’s where she worked. It was just a couple nights of hanging out, then a one night thing. Her and Jason hit it off and they stayed friends. Which is why she’s still around today, I guess. I went back to Texas thinking everything was… understood. When I got out and moved up here I found out it wasn’t.”

“When did you get out?”

“2014. Four years later I would have thought she didn’t remember me.” At that moment, Lisa pulled into her driveway. “Wow! This is your house! This is nice.” Lisa laughed at how impressed Kenny seemed. In Lisa’s opinion, the house was a humble two bedroom. It was close to her work, located in a safe neighborhood, and that was mostly why she had chosen it. Lisa thanked her as she opened the car door. Kenny followed her lead, exiting the passenger side and falling in step behind her.

“When did you join?” Lisa asked over her shoulder.

“Right before I graduated high school,” Kenny told her, “2008.” Lisa did the math quickly in her head and was surprised to come to the conclusion that the singer was twenty-eight. Once she had reached her door way, she turned to face the woman behind her.

“Are you serious?” Lisa exclaimed, “You look so young. I felt like you were maybe twenty five. Maybe.”

“Would that have been a problem?” Kenny asked.

“Kind of,” she answered, “I’m thirty-six.”

“Cradle robber,” the singer joked.

“At least it’s not as bad as I thought,” Lisa said, turning to open her door.

“I guess if I’m going to date I should probably date older anyways,” she said, as she followed Lisa inside, “One of us has got to have their shit together.”

“I’ll gladly take that spot,” she said, leading Kenny to the living room, “My shit is so together, I bore myself.” As they entered the living area, she grabbed Kenny’s hand and guided her over to her chair. Pushing her down into the seat, she positioned herself in her lap and wrapped both of arms around her neck. “Actually,” she continued, “That was one of the first things I thought when I saw you. When you were singing that song to me, that was the most exciting thing that had ever happened in my boring life. After that I pretty much couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I was nervous,” Kenny shared, “Like… at first sight. I couldn’t remember the last time someone or something had made me nervous. But you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen so I knew I had to do something despite my nerves.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sincere or just trying to charm your way into my pants,” Lisa replied.

“Sincere,” the woman answered, letting her head fall back against the head rest, “You’re too good to be a booty call.”

“And you’re way to drunk for sex,” Lisa pointed out. Kenny huffed out a laugh and let her eyes fall shut for a moment. She could tell the blond was starting to get tired. “Come on,” she invited, “Let’s get some sleep.”

She pulled the half-conscious woman into a standing position and led her down the hallway to her bedroom. Once they entered the room, Kenny walked around to the opposite side of the bed, sat down and began to remove her shoes, as comfortably as if she had always lived there. Minutes later, both women were huddled close together under the covers, facing one another. Kenny was trying desperately to keep her eyes open. “Do I still make you nervous?” Lisa decided to ask, trying to make the most out of Kenny’s willingness to talk while she had a few more moments of consciousness.

“Yes,” Kenny said, before drifting off to sleep completely.

~

The next morning, Lisa began to stir from her slumber around eight thirty. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered that she was in the middle of the bed. Opening her eyes, she realized Kenny was gone. She tried to keep from being disappointed, but it was difficult. Any hopes she had entertained about a lazy Sunday with Kenny were immediately dashed. Stretching her arms above her head, her fingers came in contact with a piece of paper on her pillow.

On the paper, rushed but deliberate hand writing greeted Lisa. “Good morning,” it read, “I’m sorry I had to go. I got called into work. No bullshit. Call me when you wake up. I’d love to take you on a second date.”

[coffeeinmywineglass]

Unusual asks

Unusual Asks: Tagged by @prettylittleworldoflies

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify Bc my school is nice and they give us premium

is your room messy or clean? clean most of the time except when Im in it

what color are your eyes? brown

do you like your name? why? yeah (it's Lili) but I think the way its spelled is boring af

what is your relationship status? Single Pringle

describe your personality in 3 words or less oy vey

what color hair do you have? naturally brown but I’m getting it dyed red as I’m typing this

what kind of car do you drive? color? grey Mazda 7, but usually I ride the heaviest bike ever

where do you shop? Plato’s Closet,  Target, American Eagle

how would you describe your style? I go for bohemian but usually it’s just comfy

favorite social media account Tumblr and Insta

what size bed do you have? Full

any siblings? my twin sister and two exchange students

<

p>if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?Spain or England or Canada (or anywhere where our ruler doesn’t look like a pathetic lorax)

favorite snapchat filter? Any one that makes my skin look clear, honestly

favorite makeup brand(s) neutrogena and Kat Von Dee Idk I have super sensitive skin so not much works for me

how many times a week do you shower? 3-4 (every other day)

favorite tv show? PLL, Orphan Black, Sherlock, so many really

shoe size? I’m tiny like 6

how tall are you? 5’ 4” I think but optimistically 5’ 5”

sandals or sneakers? Sneakers idk if i even own sandals

do you go to the gym? I try to go twice a week but eh (I ride my bike everywhere though so it’s a struggle)

describe your dream date

Depends on who it’s with shrugs (it would be a miracle at this point)

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? like 43$

what color socks are you wearing? Originally white but they are quite dirty tbh

how many pillows do you sleep with? 4 total but 2 usually

do you have a job? what do you do? Yeah I have an internship at an ad agency and a job at a vintage store

how many friends do you have? like 6 bc all my friends at my old school hate me

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Not trying to save my friendship with my (former) best friend

whats your favorite candle scent? I’m not allowed to have candles but I’d have to say coconut or fresh cotton

3 favorite boy names Riley (boy or girl), Kyle, Landon

3 favorite girl names ivy, Beca, Amara

favorite actress? Anna Kendrick and Troian Bellisario

who is your celebrity crush? see above + Brittany Snow and Taylor Swift

favorite movie? Sister Cities

do you read a lot? hell to the yes

whats your favorite book? Daughter of Deep Silence by Carrie Ryan

money or brains? brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? Lils or Lovely

how many times have you been to the hospital? My mom had cancer so it’s kinda impossible for that but:

for myself: x2 for others: x5

top 5 favorite songs 1. Another Story

Wonderwall

Edge of Seventeen

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Drops of Jupiter (Original and TS version)

What do I know

Photograph

March Into the Sun

Sedona

A Team

(I need recomendations shoot me an ask, also Taylor wasn't included in here Bc she'd fill up the entire list)

do you take any medications daily? just one for acne /:

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) dry

what is your biggest fear? That I won’t choose the right profession and not be able to support myself

how many kids do you want? 1-2, maybe none

whats your go to hair style? just down, but wavy

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I’m unbelievably lucky that both my parents are doctors

who is your role model? my art teacher, Jasmine. Or Emily, my academic advisor.

what was the last compliment you received? that my hair looked good I guess

what was the last text you sent? ‘update: she handed me an envelope’ (ominous, right?)

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Probably 5th grade but I had suspicions up until then

what is your dream car?

To get one tbh (probably a subaru or mini cooper) opinion on smoking?

Ew no get away from me do you go to college?

Thats the plan what is your dream job?

Working at a magazine or largely recognized brand would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

suburbs do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Free makes it better do you have freckles?

Yes many (like 100+ but none on my face) do you smile for pictures?

Yes but I look like a potato regardless how many pictures do you have on your phone?

Actual pictures: 1,878. Screenshots: 2,298 have you ever peed in the woods?

Dude I live in Idaho we legit have places that are called a biffy which means (no joke) “Bathroom In the Forest For You” do you still watch cartoons?

I never did and I never will do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Um neither I’m all about smashburger Favorite dipping sauce?

BBQ what do you wear to bed?

Shorts and a tshirt have you ever won a spelling bee?

I’m legit so bad at spelling thank god for autocorrect what are your hobbies?

People have time for those??

can you draw?

yea do you play an instrument?

Guitar, ukelele, piano (can I play them well is a whole different question) what was the last concert you saw?

Bastille, and it was my second concert ever.` tea or coffee?

Tea, but my one and only love is Chai tea. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

DD doesn’t exist where I live so Starbucks do you want to get married?

Yeah, eventually what is your crush’s first and last initial?

*CC are you going to change your last name when you get married?

Depends on their name lol what color looks best on you?

I’ve been told maroon or olive green do you miss anyone right now?

Yes, but I don’t think they miss me back do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Closed do you believe in ghosts?

No what is your biggest pet peeve?

People scraping metal on metal/ceramic (mostly silverware on crates), when my friends or mom are rude to customer service people last person you called`

My dad favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate, or peppermint or Romeo and Juliet (chocolate and cherries that’s only around during valentines day) regular oreos or golden oreos?

Someone’s going to kill me for this but i don’t really like oreos; I guess I’d have to pick the regular ones tho chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Chocolate (am I the only person who thinks that they don’t taste like anything??) what shirt are you wearing?

“Design think it” <– look it up, it’s for my school bc I’m a nerd with no clean clothes what is your phone background?

A picture that I took of an LA restaurant (it’s cooler than it sounds, I promise) are you outgoing or shy?

shyyy do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yesss plz do do you like your neighbors?

Yeah, most of them. Some of them won’t give me the time of day bc they are salty that we teenagers exist… do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

All of the above have you ever been high?

no have you ever been drunk?

Tipsy, not drunk last thing you ate?

A piece of watermelon favorite lyrics right now

“The hurt won’t last forever” summer or winter?

summer day or night?

Night dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk favorite month?

May, december what is your zodiac sign

Sagittarius who was the last person you cried in front of?

my teacher gotta love speech anxiety

[mindwideopen]

Because Barbie did it, it’s cool. Well, I didn’t smoke until I was in college, and smoking is not cool to me, but I did it anyway. I wanted a break from work, and we were allowed to take smoke breaks, so i started smoking.

I’ve quit smoking cigarettes but I still occasionally smoke marijuana. It’s legal to do here in Illinois. I am more into the edibles, but I do smoke now and again, but I’m completely sober writing this, and I’m trying to ween myself off. I smoke to escape my feelings. Pretty honest of me, no? Well, yes. I have decided to be honest about anything I want to be, which is everything that I feel it important to divulge. Things that I won’t divulge would hurt people. And I’m not down with that, no matter who the people are, and how badly they’ve hurt me.

People do marijuana, drink, and do other harder things of the like for various reasons. It becomes a habit. It helps us forget, or it helps us numb what we can’t face in ourselves. The feeling I get from pot, is a feeling that a lot of people experience... meh, with the occasional feh, or eh. It helps to allow time to pass between upsetting thoughts that I choose, or, it exacerbates them, depending on my mood.

Right now I can REALLY go for some pot. I mean, I have written myself into a frenzy about former people I’ve known and all the shit things I feel like they’ve said about me and done to me in both in a veiled, passive aggressive way to me directly, or behind my back. I surmised, I imagined, I decided... that they did it. And I’m mad about it. And I’m seriously so over all of it. Especially these thoughts that I am once again experiencing.

So, because I’m entertaining these thoughts, I have whipped myself up into a pretty good, bitter butter lather. And all of the shit, which I’m pretty sure they’ve said and done, that I know about anyway, is in the past. If they’re doing it now, they’re the ones also experiencing the bitterness, but that is something I have no clue about, as we are not in one another’s lives anymore. So all of the upset that I have garnered today, is solely from.... moi. I’m the bully to myself.

Bummer. I have given them all of my excellent brain power today. They didn’t steal it, I gave it over with my attention to the assness I’m reactivating. So, I am sitting here, pissed. I shredded a ton of my angry journaling about it all for compost for my neighbor’s garden, so I know the contents will go where it belongs... to the worms.

I am a fairly intelligent, kind human being, but today, I allowed myself to be bullied all over again, by myself. Damn it! Why do I do that?!?! The love is hard to find when you’re thinking shit thoughts. So none of it can snowball. I’m wading in my own shit thoughts now. Before, I was drowning in them like quicksand. Right now, I’m being honest about me, my feelings, my thoughts, and my process, so the shit pile has subsided a bit. That’s how it works. But I wasn’t love vigilant, so I didn’t catch my thoughts in time, unfortunately to have a completely awesome mid day.

No problem, I recognize it now. I’m getting there. I have good things to look forward to this evening, and I definitely do not want to drag this assstink energy into those fun things with me. I want to leave them all in the past, where they belong, and never deserve to be resurrected to hurt me again. The choice to hurt myself with these thoughts was mine.

It starts pretty innocently at first. It’s a trigger from my environment, or a thought that may seem fairly neutral, but man oh man, my phone!It triggered me by autocorrecting to a word that reminds me of my shit, and my upset. Ohhhh that phone.... but wait. I recognize it, so I don’t have to go there. I can control my mind enough, to make some breathing room around me and the upsetting topic. Yes, it’s not like it’s happening this minute. Oh, but yes it is, cause I’m still focusing on the shit I’m trying not to think about with my attention to it. (1) so, I will go, have some tea, and do some prep for Christmas decorating. That will help.

You see, love is around you waiting for your attention. You just have to look at it to know. The care that it takes for you to do that for yourself will be intregal in developing a loving and trusting relationship with you. You will appreciate the effort you make not going there with your thoughts. You’ll be happier in general, and stay that way longer. The more you decide to effort you, the better you will feel. Paying attention to how you feel, is the way to choosing to feel better.

I’m choosing to inhale, health, and good energy instead of pot right now. I may do it later, out of joy, not sure. But either way, I’ll be aware of why I’m doing what I’m doing. I will become more vigilant, of me, if my wants, my needs, my concerns, my feelings of lack or hurt. I will take care of myself instead of harming myself with hateful thoughts.

If you do marijuana or drink (if you are of legal age to purchase in a place where it is 💯 legal), or don’t do marijuana or drink, the choice is yours. I highly recommend not doing any of it if you are highly addicted to it of course, needs to be stated. You will do what you choose to do, regardless of what I say. But understanding why you do what you do will make the difference between life and death in some cases. The abuser is not the marijuana or alcohol in this case, it’s those who choose to abuse it. The abuser, is you, to you.

Caring for yourself isn’t a sin. Caring for yourself is the most loving thing you can do for humanity right now. The love is there for you for the taking. Show yourself you care, and feel the difference. I feel it already. ❤️

(1) I have heard Abraham Hicks on a number of occasions discuss, “not thinking about the thing you’re trying not to think about”. I recommend looking up some of their YouTube clips, cause it can help a lot. They’re free.

[bittersweet-clifford]

I hate my physics teacher but he says some weird shit. here are his best quotes.

“and she looked like a dweeb but it doesn't matter because she's hot.” “imagine this punk-ass kid...” “ro-day-oh” “*screaming* YEEHAAAAW” “my wife went to a loser school.” “oh. that's where that obama guy went.” “I was president of all these things. okay. you're a loser.” “it’s got a cockroach crawling out of somebody's anus.” “you're a thief and you're a violent offender. go to texas.” “God did not have an eleventh commandment that said a 90% is an A.” “they had another brother. i forget what his name was but he was just there.” “our family is so devoid of talent that when we did the senior musical they told my brother, ‘you move your mouth but nothing comes out.’” “I’m not big on IQ.” “3 times 64. that's...........a lot.” “I think i can. i think i can. oh that was a great book.” “I AM AN ISLAND.” “he was one of those geeks who’d come into my room during lunch.” “Kids will do anything for food.” “Beethoven didn't have good social skills.” “pair-a-bowl-uh.” “g-e-o-meat-tree” “re-nay-sance” “you didn't have velocitom- speedometers.” “and dedicated to the proposition that all men-not women- are created equal.” “newton sat back and said, ‘damn, i took algebra 2.’” “they invented something. it was bitching.” “your little cell phone has an accelerometer on it.” “you get in your damned car right now. you have friggin GPS.” “what is a graph? you guys have no effing clue.” “screw it. this is america, man.” “they got these cheesy ass little- hey...” “and he marries his mom because she's a hottie.” “i'm going ‘no sweat.’ she's goin ‘YEAH SWEAT.’” “they send him off to some hills to die and some idiot saves him.” “trig-no-me-tree.” “if the plane crashes, whatever. little things.” “der-i’ve-a-tive.” “someone help her out. *people give answers* well don't listen to idiots.” “the magnitude of my ineptness.” “he invented something. it was a terrible thing-he invented the essay.” “i threw that at you to see how you interpilate.” “we’re talking so small your kitchen is in your bedroom. as long as you have 16 million dollars, you can have the friend's apartment.” “FROGS ARE NOT AERODYNAMIC.” “you're a genie-ass.” “what says ‘i love you’ more than eating the one you love?” “their bodies will be goop. and this is metaphorical and beautiful. how much closer can you be when you're stirred together?” “the book didn't have a female character because he's a male-dog-anystic pig.” “speaking of time….OOH BABY.” “you had telephones *aggressively slams hand on the wall* MOUNTED ON THE FRIGGIN WALL.” “and some kid goes, ‘yooo my daddy’s rich!’” “it looks like a badminton racket on steroids.” “it was by the skin on her chinny chin chin.” “we’re going to use the weight of history to raise our ramp.” “she was rich. and hot. and i was a dweeb.” “i can't draw a corvette.” “sucker’s gonna exaggerate….ah...accelerate.” “some bum wit says, ‘let’s put tin cans on the back of their car.’” “someone comes up with a big ‘ol truck because this is tennessee.” “you're gonna be wheel meat.” “move aside, pesticide.” “you put this if you wanna be cool.” “anyways, these guys go, ‘bitchin!’” *walks like a crab* “Shula? God?” “tow truck drivers come in two flavors.” “they brought a scale and a hard hat, and they were wearing pajamas. i don't know. this is [school].” “cas goes, ‘see joe? we’ll leave him as a hostage.’” “my brother by accident got accepted to a school in new hampshire.” “this is amazing. I’m shaking God’s hand.” “you know the way buildings work.” “people got upset because it was killing fish, so they decided to kill people instead.” “we’ll call him Joe Jerk because that's kind of what he was.” “i don't believe in slavery.” “energy is like pornography, you might not be able to define it, but most everyone recognizes it when they see it.” “she goes, 'mr [teacher], let’s do it.’ and i go ‘i’m married.’ and she goes, ‘NO, THE BOOK.” “I’m looking for pews. if anyone knows a church...I want catholic pews. they're the best.” “*draws a scribble* let's pretend this is art. ART.” “every once in awhile you run into one that's just so bitchin’ ass cool.” “there's not even a verb there. and this guy went to stanford.” “the right thing? or communists?” “oh, it was so bitchin!” “she looks like a chicken. and i'm like ‘This isn't cosplay.’” “there's spanish and then there's hippies.” “she was old. she must have been like 35.” “Ms. [other teacher] could have played the wicked witch in the wizard of oz.” “if i looked out far enough, i'd probably see a t rex out there.” “he's tighter than a mole’s bum.” “if i speak louder, they'll understand better.” “I. GEORGE.” “i love my mom and she loves me. like a rock.” “you can do it baby” (said three times to an inanimate object in one day.” “1+1 and 1x1 are the same answer.” “i'm using two seconds. if you're a loser, you can use one.” “a football field is like one and a half acres.” “what does that look like for a complete clover look?” “it was a gimungous space bagel.” “because on the black market, your torso can be used.” “he's not donald trump. he is todd. but he's todd-did-well.” “back then, they had a thing called grass.” “what was romeo and juliet in new york called?” “there's many ways to skin a cat.” “thou shall not have a disturbance at the front desk.” “live for your GPA. worship it.” “and then antarctica, where i'm going to send you if you laugh.” “you're in space just hanging out and the earth just hits you!” “if you did google translate from math-ish to english…” “if i happened to be in space and the moon were plowing around, would it hurt?” “russia, i can see it from my winda.” “where’d korea go?” “their last name was broccoli. the stupidest name in the world.” “i'm gonna be the only child i should have been.” “i'm not going to go into gender classification for doorknobs.” “how the hell do you get a lamborghini? that's like, really expensive.” “i liked mary-anne. she was not. and then there was that one actress i hated.” “real, 100% plastic plants.” “do not write this. ‘mister [teacher] thinks he shouldn't be afraid of bombs.’” “you comedysportz kids will get this. *tells story about astronauts.*” “*jumps excitedly* THIS IS SO BITCHIN!!” “bouncy bounce-that's my terminology.” “how did the pound sign get to be called hashtag?” “and you go, ‘what does this have to do with the price of beans?’ and it doesn't have anything to do with beans, but it has something to do with this story.” “Physics is racist.” “This perverted cat...” “You put the lime in the....oh no, that’s the wrong song.” “You know it’s a trumpet. Why? Because it’s got a flag hanging from it.” “WE’RE GONNA GO TO THE YMCA.” “She was very, well...very.” “You don’t have to be able to sing because they've got autocorrect.” “Nothing says ‘i love you’ like cutlery.” “I’ve been lifting weights for six years now and i’m half an inch shorter.” “I don’t have a neck. My muscles are too big.” “Dude, i think i can explain the universe with my saxophone.” “I love you a lot, but today, fuck you.” “The most religious people i've ever met are atheists.” “They got eyes on the top of their head because they’re weird people.” “Do you actually have to USE the fancy ass mathematics?” “It’s winter. Y’all can’t see shit.” “Your brain bone...what’s it called? SKULL!” “The definition of a cold is not snot!” “The first time you do heroine is the best. I don’t know. I’ve just happened to have met a lot of heroine addicts.” “I was making molten lead in the backyard.” “You know what dead people look like?” “Those of you who are pigmentally challenged.” “For a thousand effing bucks, i’ll wash their ass.” “So you invent liquid butter.” “You know what? We’re gonna kill china.” “The earth has gravity and it reaches out with these octopus tentacles.” “I want to meet Julius Caesar, but then I realized that was stupid.” "i know the moon's not a rabbit." "i never realized you could make a bridge explode." "i built a bridge that was the most bitchin ass coolest bridge i'd ever seen." "you know he's smart because he thought so much his hair all fell out." "nowadays we live in wussville" "[his name], you're going to hell." "maybe you've got a friend who's a drug dealer. they've got good scales." "i'm gonna make a flying buttress of a bridge." "spock wasn't people of color. he was green." "i hate bridges. me no do." "we have extendo-thing-o" "some of you have siblings who shoot up, so if you can get a needle, that helps." "it was the beginning of a life long love affair with this bridge." "if you're gonna trip out, don't do it in a tree." "you're not smarter. you're farter." "let's sit back and play the ukulele in a tree." "we'd go down to the bang bumpity bump." "*singing* i am so blue. i have. no clue. what shall we do? perhaps something new?" "the first picture is a fun. i know those of you who are anti gun are all upset but just deal with it a second." *spends ten minutes drawing a picture* *throws meter stick across classroom* "that's why we don't have glass on that cabinet anymore." "usually they don't offer loaded shotguns to six-year-olds." "you is fitty." "you know he's going fast. you know why? those lines are really long." "it's safer to fire guns in space." "at age six what the hell do you know about physics?" "do you feel physics?" "i have a brain ON my head." "you should not be looking up. you die." "there's a lot of possibilities. one is incorrect and the others are interesting." "all the kids were called mr. [his name]." "you eat, you piss." *talking about childbirth* "this is just like tug of war." "we went to this terrible store. it's called marshall's." "you still got beat up by some other group of kids. why? BECAUSE YOU'RE A DWEEB!" "Mom, i'm all fucked up. you should have made me play piano more." "let's pretend it's not true. it'll make me seem better. there was this dweeb..." "my fist is really upset with you." "how dare you? this is America. i can do whatever i want." "you know that's the problem? you're a selfish bastard" "life's good. the swedes win." "you can't, but if you happen to be a nerd at caltech, you can." "computers are very good at doing arithmetic." "we have a couple cross country losers here." *squats* "this is the answer to everything." "sue God." "it's all about having a 4.5 gpa and taking ap yoga." "winston churchill- who i love very dearly." "anyone who believes in seat belts is a wuss." "ever wonder why these old cars had gimungous trunks? it wasn't so you could put thirteen bodies in it and drive off." "i'm not trying to sound like an advertisement for swedish brains." "there are people like mr [name] out there. that guy's effing crazy." "the swedes. oh bless them." "i see this car coming straight at me at 70 miles an hour and i'm thinking 'what a nice car...'" "some religions are built on like gods and stuff. Thor..." "i can explain the whole world. i need calculus. i have to invent that first, but i can figure out the whole world." "we couldn't hit ships with beans with these things." "don't major in communications." "she's like a piranha." "why do you go to costco? ya loser." "i have a friend. he's a doctor. he's not stupid." "cool guys can spin the wheel with one hand.... i was told." "you're thinking, 'dude, physics.'" "youre sitting next to someone who's radiating gorgeous and you're like 'i'm radiating ugly.'" "why do you shop at wal-effing-mart?" "the way that God and Newton meant things to be." "that sounds stupid, but guys have never been good at deep thoughts." "you guys. better run fast because i'm gonna beat the bleep out of you." "oil companies are the modern day pirates." "they had discovered cocaine but it hadn't come to San Marino yet." "wow. you're a mr. negativity." “they put a godzilla level of give in there.” “with the exception of harvard, most colleges have an ethical standard.” *measures paper in megabytes* “sometimes my language is a bit salty.” “i apologize for biting your head off.” “there's just an achilles' tendon” “just taking cliff’s notes doesn't mean you know diddly shit about romeo and juliet.” “objects jump off of sharp pointy things.” “you could free range roam as far as you could range.”

[raynbow-shimmer]

49, 47, 43, 41, 37, 28, 23, 22, 12 & 1 ?

1.) What is your name and does it mean anything?

My first name is a combination of my great aunt and my grandmother’s names. So, Barbara and Anne; somehow they got Breanne? I don’t know. If someone calls me Brianna, I just respond and don’t correct them. Whatever.

12.) How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends?

We met at church. The first time I saw her, I hated her guts. Just...loathed her for no reason. But then there was a scavenger hunt thing or something, and she came up to me and was like, ‘be on my team?’ It was something like that, I think. But she would not. shut. up. Ran her mouth non-stop. And she was nice and probably the only person my age. I really don’t remember. But one day, people just started recognizing us as ‘Amy and Breanne.’ Always together, never apart. So, yea. Like...10 years later and it’s still like that. But now young children get us mixed up (how?) and get confused if we are apart. And we’ve been psychoanalyzed by psychology majors because we ‘shouldn’t work’ and our relationship is ‘oddly interesting.’ It’s VERY weird, but I love her.

22.) What was the last dream you remember having?

Haaaaa...I have WEIRD dreams, mmmk? Last night, I dreamed that I was at my advisor’s house. No reason why. It was the day after Christmas or something. But I think I followed his car? Uhhh. Yea, so I came in, really confused, and started talking with one of his daughters (I don’t even think he has a daughter, he has two sons.) And things kinda progressed weirdly until we were all sitting in this living room area playing like a Wii bowling type party game with a sheet dividing the room in half? And then my advisor’s wife and mother started talking in Korean, and I remember automatically trying to respond in Japanese, then scolding myself because those two are clearly different languages. It ended with me getting mugged as I walked down the street, and I had to call and cancel my card. Right there in the middle of the street. Wtf kind of dream even is that?

23.) When is your birthday?

The 15th, so in like...two weeks? One week? The Sunday after next, that one, yea.

28.) What is your favorite soda?

Coke is it. I’m probably really underexposed when it comes to sodas because I live where Coke and RC were invented, so...like...there’s nothing regional. Coke and RC are regional here.

37.) What is word that you always seem to spell wrong?

Nessisary. Deoterent. Definitely. Resturant. Theather, Elemtry, Suprised, Library...these are words I type out and hope that autocorrect knows what I’m trying to say. I couldn’t even tell you if some of them are spelled correctly now. I don’t know! Phonetic lettering systems are so much better, wtf even is English when it comes to spelling?

41.) When was the last time you got really really happy and why?

Ha. Oh boy. I mean, the most recent time I can recall having a super outburst reaction to being so happy and surprised and overjoyed was *sighs* when Flashback aired and Hartley came out at the end to save Barry. :| I yipped. I literally yipped like a puppy that had been stepped on and started crying and flapping. That was...a happy outburst. I bet you didn’t see that coming, did you?

43.) How do you start a conversation?

I...don’t...usually. I mean, when I worked at my campus bookstore, if I really wanted to talk to someone, I’d compliment them (that’s usually what I wanted to do anyways). So like, ‘nice shirt,’ ‘nice nail polish color,’ ‘I really like your lanyard,’ things like that. But usually, I just wait for someone to start a conversation with me because I am an awkward little fart.

47.) What is your favorite series of books?

Listen...I am a hopeless romantic. HOPELESS. So like, if there is a romance in the book that is good and pure, I will CLING TO IT WILL ALL OF MY BEING. I typically run back to The Selection series about once a year or more. Also, Flat-Out Love is a pretty good book. ALL THE PINING BREAKS MY HEART. Flat-Out Matt makes it all even better. But Flat-Out Celeste kinda fell flat. :( Still, the Flat-Out series is pretty good too.

49.) Where do you go when you’re sad?

I take my phone and go to bed and cry to the internet like the 6-year-old I am on the inside.

Ask Me Stuff

[ber39james]

10 Autocorrect Text Fails You Need to See Right Now

Does your phone’s autocorrect drive you crazy?

Maybe it’s never caught on that you’re “doing well”. . . not “doing we’ll.” No matter how many times you type “gave” it still insists you meant to say “have.” Or it may even think that swapping words like “baked” and “naked,” or “stapler” and “stalker,” is a good idea. (It’s not.)

That feeling when autocorrect does the wrong ‘its’ in a reply to someone with a huge following… pic.twitter.com/gWy8m1zbGl

— Young Moooooan (@ThrupennyBit) October 7, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Not cool, autocorrect. Not cool.

Confusing, error-filled messages should not be the de facto norm of smartphone communication (or any type of communication). That’s why we’ve created a mobile keyboard that finally brings the magic of Grammarly to your iPhone—embarrassing texts, tweets, and posts can become a thing of the past.

But first, let’s take a trip down memory lane with these ten hilarious and cringeworthy autocorrect fails.

1“Luke, I am your badger.”

Hey autocorrect, I’m dressing up as “Yoda” for Halloween . . . not “Yoga.”

2Emily? Hello?

Tired of autocorrect sabotaging your romance? Typing on a tiny touch screen is tough, and it’s inevitable you’ll hit some wrong letters along the way. When autocorrect jumps to conclusions about your word choice, the meaning of your message can get even more garbled (and potentially embarrassing).

3Give ’Em the Ginger!

Autocorrect wants me to say I gave someone the ginger so here you go. pic.twitter.com/dAWEE9PVKl

— JoyceEerie (@quirkisms) October 11, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

You deserve accuracy when describing your latest adventures. Which is why we’ve been working hard to develop an improved autocorrect feature for our new mobile app.

4Any Barking Dads on the Loose?

Things can get pretty confusing (and silly) when autocorrect chooses the wrong word.

So if it’s truly not clear which word you meant to type, the Grammarly keyboard will suggest a correction (which you can accept or reject), instead of automatically changing your misspelled word to something totally different. (So long, barking “dads”!)

5It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Kidney

Wouldn’t it be great if your message was understood the first time around?

6Sir-Auto-Correct-A-Lot

My banana Fonda don’t want Nuns unleashed you got bunnies hung.

– Sir Auto-Correct-A-Lot

— ..And Justin For All (@Staggfilms) October 20, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Sometimes autocorrect has a life of its own. Fortunately, you don’t have to let Sir-Auto-Correct-A-Lot commandeer your writing. You can take back control.

7“We Hates It, Forever!”

Put an end to the confusion and feel free to express your inner nerd. Our new mobile app recognizes the names of your favorite fictional characters.

8Something’s Gotta Give

i spell something wrong so much that autocorrect doesn’t even suggest the right spelling anymore pic.twitter.com/lh2juQNaNe

— loo (@laoorentubbe) October 10, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

The struggle is real. But don’t worry, with hundreds of types of grammar and spelling checks, the Grammarly Keyboard provides accurate corrections and feedback for your common mistakes.

9So Much For Good Parenting…

Okay, it’s time to get a better keyboard! Avoid misunderstandings and show up as your best self at home, at work, and in romance.

10What’s My Name Again?

Stop trying to anticipate what I’m going to say, autocorrect. You are always wrong.

Sincerely, Annex ….I mean ANNETTE

— Annette Christie (@MsAnnetteMC) October 3, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Flawless writing is a beautiful thing. Ready to experience the Grammarly Mobile Keyboard firsthand? Click here to download the keyboard for iOS.

The post 10 Autocorrect Text Fails You Need to See Right Now appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog https://www.grammarly.com/blog/autocorrect-text-fails/

[subjectsilver]

my psyche and wormy be ruthless sometimes.

originally i told myself that i was only going to use tumblr every sunday to log what has happened throughout the week or anything noticeable or note worthy but i literally need to type this right now because I'm losing my goddamn mind and on the verge of a panic attack...i can feel my chest tightening and my heart has such a “funny” feeling that isn't so funny so idk why they call it that... its like a light feeling like when u get light headed - i feel light hearted rn

the absolute worst part about my depression is that it literally just comes and goes whenever it wants. obviously theres things that help trigger it, a song a picture of my ex friends snapchats, any object that i can play connect the dots with back to a single thought that can disrupt my entire mental.

and it hit me tonight and it hit me hard and tonight I'm trying not to run away from it. I'm not going to go smoke cigarettes and listen to music until 5 am I'm trying to just type what is going on instead of like holding it into my head. or type something at least. the thing about it is that whenever it hits me, i always find a way to make it so much worse.... like i see just the right combination of words or objects to sink me or look at pictures of emma and even though i know its hurting me i continue to do it anyway....maybe its because in that moment I'm actually feeling something, she is making me feel something just like she use to in the past. i really valued that until i became too grey and numb and hopeless.

i feel like throwing up

i used “ex” up there and  makes me feel really uneasy i haven't used it very much at all mainly because i have to explain myself to anyone here and I've only told a few people what is going on with me. That was good thought because i have a friend named hank who went through some shit too so he kind of connects with me but still not a person i would talk to about shit...i don't really have anyone for that so i don't really know... sometimes i type it all and erase it, sometimes i make songs, sometimes i say it out laid sometimes i just cry.

i started taking prozac 3 days ago this will be the fourth, so hopefully that'll help  me. Im still underweight as fuck but oddly I'm comfortable with it bc i like the way my shirts feel and clothes fit, unfortunately i need to gain like 20 pounds if i want to exist on this soccer team which is kinda mad. I was going to suggest leaving wake because i don't really even care to play soccer rn. and i realized a while back that all i needed was in ohio... like i had the best friends the girl of my dreams and i could've had a 1st year internship paying between 40-70k at some health company under my step dad... its kinda shitty because its something i wanted to tell everyone and i would always think about how disappointed my dad would be and how supportive my mom would be but something told me not do make moves with any of it. its like the universe knew i was going to go through some shit. like it knew i was gonna get low and the perfect image of life i had in my head up. like bitch u thought you'd plant roots,,,nahhhhhhtttt  

i keep listening to this song on repeat

https://soundcloud.com/yvpoipoi/maxence-cyrin-where-is-my-mind

but the real is back the ville is back

i fucking hated listening to cole until like 2 weeks ago. it was so annoying listening to cole bc of hani playing it literally all the time. when things like that get annoying they because white noise to me. but recently i went through his 3 most recent projects and actually listened heavily to the words and that shit is crazy.

i also have been paying a lot of attention to jay z and beyonce. i guess jay z had an affair or some shit and ten he and “once” went back and forth on songs about it... but i read this quote by him where he was like “our relationship was built on top of lies, and i had to tear it down and build it back up again and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.” thats the kind of shit that gives me hope in the world of relationships. I've accepted that its probably false hope but ill hold onto anything the keeps me going at this point...

my suicidal thoughts haven't been present the last few days but i never know if and when those will come back. to be truthful I've been stacking up on things in my camera roll that give me up for when I'm feeling low.

the light hearted feeling has subsided, i just realized it. i kinda of ignore all grammatical practices when i write freely. i just go with my own language because i feel like its more personal ya know. someone i know annotates her own letters that she use to write me and i always loved that shit because i have so many side thoughts when i write as well.

luke christophers album finally came out and what do you know 5 of the songs had already been released and some like a year ago so its barely anything knew but it still has new music and bangers so i do appreciate the legend himself. after seeing his hair blonde on the cover idk if I'm going to keep growing my hair black or re-dye it. maybe ill keep it blonde until i feel like I'm above 80% better or something  right now i feel about -7% (if i could annotate that line id tell you that i originally wrote -7 person instead of percent then i autocorrected person then backspaced it to a symbol) 

the last few days I've felt really weak though and I've been sleeping a lot like two days ago i got like 11 hours and yesterday i got like 10 and I've been taking naps during the day. but I've constantly felt like I've had low blood sugar or that I've been dehydrated or something. i can't even make a fist and squeeze that hard.

its crazy because when i type anything about myself ever i just start tearing up for no reason...happy thoughts sad thoughts dark thoughts i could be writing about my microwave and be tearing up. and i do it a lot with emma or my best friends or my ex and ex best friends idk what anyone is to me anymore. been too focussed on trying to survive, which i feel is the correct selfish thing to do for once.

“don't give a fuck and they love you do give a fuck and they hate you - I'm always gone be there for you”

this man luke in onto something

its crazy that i will leave my phone in my room from 7:30 am to 7-8 at night and the only notification that ill get is “your phone hasn't been backed up in 57 weeks” or some shit like that. occasionally ill receive a random text from someone but its funny because sometimes on the inside ill be screaming like “PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME” and then it happens and its like nah.. i thought i sent out an amber alert but really I'm sending out a batman bat symbol. i thought i needed anyone to talk to, but in reality i just need one singular person to talk to. that was my mistake, will always be my mistake but at least i recognize it now...just a little late there big guy.

having so much time to myself probably too much time to myself is really interesting...if you've ever thought that you've done real reflection, submerge yourself in complete loneliness and isolation and try again because its so much deeper. you think about everything. every individual relationship, every right every wrong multiple perspectives. you think about all of your problems and the root to your problems.  all of your mistakes why u caused these mistakes or what caused these mistakes. its actually really shitty because the bad will always stick out more than the good because the good is what is suppose to happen and the bad is the variable...variables get more attention than the constants i feel. deep down i don't think I'm a shitty human being.. even though i might think that a lot or hate myself...ik I'm only human and i can't be perfect and as much as id love for everyone to love me and me to not hurt anyone its more than likely unrealistic and it'll happen to me and already has happened to me and now i understand that and i will be more forgiving as i go on in life, the same forgiveness id want people to give me.

i use to think that everything had to work in reciprocality like for some reason i always thought everything should be equal all of the time..but i was extremely wrong, some people need more some people need less some people expect things and if they mean anything to you, the extra effort should hinder you or disrupt you...every human has a different way of looking at relationships and when those ways collide and don't add up it creates problem. I'm not saying people should give up in what they believe in but people should be less harsh about it... i know people who should be less harsh on me and i know people that i will be less harsh on and who i would be less harsh on if i could go back in time.

i tried to think about why I'm so afraid of butterflies and i can't really think of what happened along the way that got me here but i think the very root is the movie “butterfly effect” I'm also pretty sure they are remaking that movie into a 2018 version and ill probably go scare the fuck out of myself while seeing it.

my anxiety was gone until thinking about butterflies 

i tried to explain a fear of butterflies to this kid named mike and i sounded like an absolute idiot and then his response was “does this scare you” and it was the close up of a butterfly from this spongebob episode and i can't get it out of my head.... i think the video is called “wormy close up”

 fuck wormy

usually id think something so symmetrical was beautiful seeing has my old tendencies make me love symmetrically and i do things in that way like when i touch my feet to surfaces and shit bc i feel all neat and organized but i don't like that every butterfly ever is symmetrical as fuck...like show why what the hell. and i want to watch a video on it but i don't want to go into shock or some shit.

and they have wings that flap which is what i hate about bugs in general.

to be fair though i do like butterflies that have bright blue or white wings cus i use to see those a lot as a kid when my backyard was a golf course. but my vision of a butterfly with like brown wings and black borders gahhhh fuck that....id weather let a centipede crawl on me from head to toe than a butterfly land on me to put in in perspective. 

idk man i think this post has done for me what i thought it would do what i intended it to do...i have to be up in like 3 and a half wish hours then run for an hour then ill take a solid nap for like 5 hours or just sleep pt.2 but i must be going... until next time or sunday.

i love you

fuck wormy

goodnight