#reblogged a bunch of posts and then fell into bed and now im up and thinking about it

[avo-kat]

its so strange…. this game didnt change me. it was like…. normal. natural. i was able to kinda play myself. be silly and crazy and stupid and pathetic. and kim stood by. and ppl were a bit weirded out or thought i was stupid or even made fun of me, but? it was still fine! i still solved the case. i still connected to people. i even laughed w ppl i thought were jerks. i managed to befriend ppl who wanted to beat me up. this game allowed me to be my pathetic self and still do my thing. its so awesome i wanna cry. nothing is gonna compare now no other rpg can do that. damn. im not a hero… not a saviour of the world…. nope, just a pathetic, sad guy who gets high and drunk and threatens to kill himself but who can also help people. in small ways. its so…. real. i really like how they did the characters.

even compl jerks. you cant hate all of them completely. they are people. some of them are stupid fucking racist people. some of them are very nice and v lowkey racist people. some of them are huge jerks but justified cuz they care about one thing a lot. this game is a love letter to humanity

spoilery below

and i LOVE how basically EVERYTHING i did mattered. every thing! every single thing! even if it seemed stupid and pointless and like a waste of time! talking to those two old guys playing boule? it mattered!

and i loved how.... real the people were. all of them. they really were. i think a lot of people would have written a lot of these characters very, very, very differently. i was mad that evrart was that way. but he was real. and that made... everything, every conversation, every decision more real, because everything was complicated, just like in real life. theres ideology and political theory and theres reality. theres a really, REALLY nice old lady. but shes racist. lowkey. but she is. and thats.... its disappointing, but its real, you know? what are you gonna do? stop talking to her? but shes so nice. and theres an interesting quest. these conflicting feelings - so real! just like in real life. do you stop talking to your nice neighbour because she made a racist comment? its messy. and then you meet complete jerks and you already write them off, you are basically waiting for your chance to "pay them back", but hey, look, they are actually decent.

the secret is like.... getting to know them and learning about the one thing they care about the most.

and you can go and try to build communism (wooo, 0.0002%!!) and you meet these young guys, its just. yeah. thats exactly how it is. fucking beans.

and the thing is: you gotta work with them. all of them. even the jerks. even the corrupt assholes.

because you cant burn bridges with every bad person. because they are all part of society, whether we like it or not. and its not like you are without fault. ur a fucking pig, as some love to point out. thats done. cant change that, no matter how much u want to, lol. the past is the past and u gotta move on.

and u can talk all u want all day long. what matters is what u do.

i keep thinking about cindy. standing on the outside hallway, looking at the city, at the people - people she hates. right below the radical youth hangout. thinking about the perfect, perfect slogan. and the two communist students, judging her for not being educated. in the end, shes the one who does something.

anyway. its nice to play a game where u are the literal incarnation of karl marx. (its canon, okay?)

[catacombbee]

school bus graveyard headcanons because im thinking about them

and because im projecting

just general / random headcanons

Tyler has arachnophobia and entomophobia. creepy crawlies are a HARD NO for Mr. Hernandez. Jackass bullies? No problem. Phantoms trying to eat him? Easy. Tree? Been there, done that. Fucking spiders? get it the FUCK away. mans has a visceral skin crawling reaction to even SEEING something creepy crawlie. it's one of the only things that makes him seriously panic other than yk someone being hurt

Ashlyn has autism yes this is basically canon i think. BUT Ashlyn has a lot of texture sensitivities both with clothes and with food. itchy scratchy clothes are a no. she cannot stand t-shirts keeping their tags they rub and scratch her neck and it makes her want to scream. she cuts the tags out before wearing anything. and food she can't have anything too squishy or tough or else she just loses her appetite entirely.

^^ to build on the clothing tags. everyone else in the group cuts the tags out of their jackets/hoodies and some shirts so if Ashlyn wants to borrow something she can be comfortable

Aiden is down bad for someone wearing his clothes. this can apply to any ship you want, i like him with Ashlyn Tyler or Logan (ive like never seen any talk abt Aidgan? Loden?) but regardless. whoever it is Aiden likes he gets so giddy butterflies giggly seeing someone wear his clothes. this is moreso for Ashlyn or maybe Logan because Ashlyn is so much smaller than Aiden that his sweatshirt would probably hang off her and Aiden would just abdjshfkefbns she's so cute!! this is mostly an Aidlyn hc for me but Logan would also be cute in anyone else's sweatshirt

uh if it's not clear by now im a multishipper ive said it before BUT i like Tyben a lot. they find calm and quiet in each other and bond through expressing themselves through something much healthier: music. i adore Tyben. AND because of Ben in the canvas webtoon: Tyler calls him ladybug. "Hey ladybug" "It's okay ladybug ive got you" "ladybug, you okay?"

kinda related to previous one but like blush hc. Ben does not blush. maybe a little pink on his cheeks. but his EARS. his ears get so RED when he's angry or when he's flustered. his face might be 😐 but you look at his ears and they're red you know he's flustered

ALSO everyone learned ASL for Ben so he didn't have to just use notes n stuff. Aiden was already learning but everyone else picked up on it

Logan likes compact spaces, they male him feel safe and secure. Like the tire! He feels very nice and snuggly in his tire. But also like. under beds. in closets (haha). one time they played hide and seek in Aiden's house and Logan won because he fell asleep curled up in an empty cabinet. Logan loves being little spoon because he just fits snugly in everyone's arms

it's been mentioned Tyler plays guitar, but i hc that he's also a really good artist. because he got into baseball for a scholarship he's kinda dropped both art and music, but in getting to know the others and especially Ben he gets back into playing music which leads to him drawing again. he doodles pictures of his friends and they realize what a good artist he is. that's how he realizes he actually has passion for creativity and decides he wants to be a tattoo artist.

(i was writing a tyden tattoo artist Tyler au on a reblog draft from a post @\the-killies made and like forgot abt it. someone peer pressure me if you think that sounds like snth you wanna read. it was probably over 1k words by the time i forgor)

Taylor likes mechanics (cus. the club) but she also knows some programming. this is solely because I think Taylor would like making little robots just for fun. Aiden would beg her to make him a little robot like that one companion toy robot Cosmo

in canvas sbg Logan brought a bunch of clothes for them to wear in the pictures/videos they took. so. Logan likes cosplay and renn faires. History is one of his favorite subjects (the other being science. english/literature is a very close third. he doesn't dislike math just isn't his favorite) so he has a lot of clothes from different time periods because of the renn faires he's been to.

This is a really unhinged headcanon and isn't something ive ever thought about before but thinking about Logan having outfits and stuff made me think who would be the most likely to be a furry. and no not Logan. it would be Aiden. hes rich enough to splurge on his fursuit. THIS IS A JOKE I DONT HC HIM AS A FURRY THIS IS A "WHOS MOST LIKELY TO" PLEAS

Aiden's favorite subject is history, he likes reading about wars but he also enjoys learning about other cultures and differences from how we live in modern day America. Aiden would probably study anthropology just for the fun of it. he and Logan bond over their love of history. Aiden can't remember what he had for lunch yesterday but he can tell you every little detail he knows about the Civil War start to finish, dates and names and locations and all.

this is a really weird hc but. Ashlyn is an amazing rapper. there was a karaoke night and one song someone did had a rap part coming up and they were like ahaha it's too fast for me and Ashlyn just stood up. took the mic. and fucking blew everyone's minds. and then she sat down like she didnt just rock their world

this last bit is self indulgent. assuming the phantom world things don't last forever, the kids get therapy eventually :D

^^ building on that, Ben specifically, he lives in my head rent free. i love him sm. Ben gets therapy for not just the phantom world things but everything beforehand. slowly and surely, starting with Aiden and Lily and maybe whichever person he's shipped with, he starts talking again. Some days are better than others, sometimes he gets quiet again, other times he goes for days talking as much as anyone (except aiden he yaps.) everyone almost cries when Ben is doing something and begins singing to himself because they realize he's better

im gonna do like gender & sexuality headcanons too,,, maybe later. might do silly ship hcs too cus i ship so many pairings here

[lost-in-sokovia]

I posted 2,305 times in 2022

That's 2,264 more posts than 2021!

1,086 posts created (47%)

1,219 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spicedchaiandromeda

@quinnsbower

@killerlookz

@rosemaremembrance

@stellas-amethyst

I tagged 1,361 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#btw soph - 1,075 posts

#paul dano - 157 posts

#andromeda✨ - 153 posts

#anon ask - 142 posts

#anon - 137 posts

#🌻 anon - 118 posts

#august edward nashton - 115 posts

#auggienation - 102 posts

#auggie nashton fanclub - 99 posts

#edward nashton - 78 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#i don’t want sympathy please don’t hit up my inbox like oh im so sorry like it’s fine i just have zero other outlets right now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

alright, okay. You know who’d be like the cutest dad? Laszlo! Absolutely. No one can tell me otherwise. His baby got him wrapped around their tiny finger. A cookie before dinner? He shouldn’t give in but they look so sad!

don’t tell mommy

disclaimer: 1. i wrote this at 1AM so there’s that 2. i’ve never actually seen the alienist because i can’t handle gore, but i like to think i’m still qualified enough to write for laszlo✋🏻

no matter how hard you tried, laszlo continued to one-up you and make you seem like the bad guy in comparison.

it had been a beautiful day; laszlo had a day off, so the two of you decided to take your daughter outside the city to a beautiful countryside where she could run and play among the flowers and tall grass in the meadows.

winifred loved when her father was home. he was the best storyteller and never failed to make her laugh with little tricks he played and silly faces he made. things at the institute had kept laszlo occupied and away from home recently, so this was a dream come true for little winnie. hearing her joyous laughs as she twirled in the grass, flower petals getting caught in her soft chestnut hair, and cheeks rosy from the sun.

after spending all afternoon relaxing on a blanket next to your husband as your four year old ran about joyously, your tiny family returned to the city to end the day with a meal together at home. winnie fell asleep on the way back as you gently picked the petals out of her hair, and ended up having to be carried up from the carriage. she continued to nap for thirty more minutes after being gently placed on top of you and laszlo’s bed, where she often decided to nap.

as she slept, you and laszlo busied yourselves about the kitchen, talking quietly and reminiscing on the day you’d had so far.

“how long do you think she’ll sleep?” laszlo questioned. you glanced in the direction of your room before looking back to your husband’s gaze.

“mm, i don’t know… if she sleeps any longer she won’t sleep tonight. could you go wake her up?” you asked in response. laszlo nodded with a smile before turning in the direction of the closed door.

as he slowly opened the door he scoffed to himself and shook his head at the sight of his daughter absolutely passed out. her skirt was bunched up and her little bloomers visible, her hair disheveled from both the day of play and sleeping on it, and her mouth slightly agape. laszlo crept towards her and cautiously sat down besides her, stroking her hair ever so lightly.

“kedvesem,” he cooed quietly. no response. he simply kept stroking her hair as he watched her chest subtly raise and lower as her breath escaped her lips. “kedvesem, my darling, it is time to wake up,” he tried again. he earned a shift and a nose scrunch from the little girl as she took a deep breath and closed her mouth. laszlo smiled and leaned down to kiss her head. “winifred,” he whispered. his daughter instinctively moved towards her father and curled up against his legs and waist in the fetal position, letting him know that though she heard him she did not care.

“come sit with papa, hm?” laszlo offered. he watched winnie’s eyes barely open as she sat up, before weakly crawling onto laszlo’s lap and resuming her sleepy state once more. “did you have good dreams? full of rabbits and music and the color green” laszlo whispered happily, listing off a few of his daughter’s favorite things. winnie nodded weakly and her eyelids began twitch. laszlo waited patiently until her eyes were half open and making eye contact before smiling and bouncing her gently in his lap. “look at those beautiful eyes, édes kislány! there’s my winnie,” laszlo cooed.

“papa,” winnie began slowly. “i’m hungry.”

“well, mommy and i are making dinner, would you like to come out with us?” laszlo asked. winnie sat emotionless in his lap for a moment as she pondered her options before giving a small nod against her father’s shoulder. laszlo clicked his tongue and bounced her slightly.

“come, let’s go see mommy,” he announced. winnie slid off laszlo’s lap before grabbing his hand as he stood up. she continued to blink her eyes awake as the two of them walked slowly into the kitchen where you smiled.

“hi winnie-boo, did papa come wake you up?” you asked. her sleepy expression slowly turned into a smile as laszlo gave her hand a squeeze.

“somebody said she’s hungry,” laszlo added.

“well, papa and i are making dinner, you can keep us company,” you winked. winnie slowly let go of her father’s hand as her little feet began to pitter patter about the kitchen. you smiled at your husband as he walked over to resume his work in the kitchen.

as the two of you worked, winnie walked about and occasionally peeked out the window to hear and see the bustle of new york city in the evening.

her wandering eyes eventually found the cookie jar and lit up, eagerness flaming inside of her.

“mommy,” you felt a tug at your skirt. you looked down at your daughter whose eyes (that were exactly like yours) peered up at you hopefully. “can i have a cookie? i’m hungry.”

“no, my love, dinner will be ready soon okay?” you declined gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. winnie’s eyebrows furrowed as she let out a huff before trying again.

“mommy please,” she persisted. you shook your head once more.

“baby i don’t want you to spoil your appetite, just be patient okay?” you calmly responded. winnie’s little foot stomped and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself, choosing not to respond. with ever her father’s determination, she decided to switch plans. she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with you, but there was someone who would turn the world upside down for her if she asked.

walking innocently up to her father, she tugged at the hem of his vest and put on her best puppy dog eyes.

“papa,” she began. laszlo paused putting the plates out on the table and looked down at her, his heart melting at her cute little face. “can i have a cookie?”

laszlo did not miss a beat as he grinned and nodded. “of course kedvesem,” he confirmed. winnie’s eyes lit up as laszlo followed her to the ceramic jar containing the coveted chocolate chip cookies. laszlo was known to not think very thoroughly about his daughter’s requests, only wanting the best for her and willing to give her whatever she wanted to make her life enjoyable.

See the full post

282 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

#4

I absolutely adore august!! Could you pls right something cute from before Eddie went to Arkham?

this is just something small i decided to write, i’ll be writing more about like, baby baby august because i have ideas :) i hope you enjoy this though!

so i can kiss you

“august edward nashton, give daddy his glasses back.”

the five year old giggled as he looked around in the clear frames, way too big on his little face. he sat in his father’s lap and edward laughed as auggie continued to turn his face the other way when eddie tried to grab his glasses. you sighed and shook your head, a small grin creeping across your lips as you walked over and hoisted your son into your arms.

“i look just like you daddy, don’t i?” auggie giggled as he looked at you with big, magnified green eyes. you tilted your head back and opened your mouth in surprise, causing your son to laugh hysterically.

“you know your daddy cannot see a thing right now,” you reminded with a smile, glancing to your boyfriend on the couch. edward shrugged and laughed, standing up to meet you.

“mommy is right, i wish i could say you look like me but i don’t even know!” edward agreed, looking at his son with exaggerated sadness. august glanced between the two of you and clumsily lifted the glasses off his face, no doubt smudging the lenses with his little fingers. he held them out to edward, who took them and placed them back on his face before smiling widely and holding out his hands. “there he is!! i can see my beautiful boy again!” he exclaimed, ruffling auggie’s soft brown locks.

august laughed and you smiled widely, listening to edward talk sweetly and lovingly to his son.

“daddy, why do you wear glasses?” august asked as his little hands played with eddie’s shirt. eddie groaned as he lifted august from your arms and into his, giving the boy a few more hair ruffles.

“i can’t see as well as you can, i didn’t eat enough carrots growing up,” he joked. august gasped lightly and you chuckled, edward shooting you a wink with his sparkly green eyes. “so i need these so i can see you and your mom better,” he continued. he reached out an arm and pulled you close to him, you resting your head on his shoulder and looking at your son inches away from you. “plus,” edward added. “this way i can see your mom whenever i want to kiss her.”

he leaned down and you cupped your hands on his cheeks as you kissed him, and august stuck out his tongue and exclaimed in disgust. you smiled against eddie’s lips before he pulled away and grinned at you.

“daddy that’s gross!” august laughed. you gasped in mock offense and eddie bounced your son a bit.

“gross?” edward repeated loudly. auggie scrunched his nose before edward kissed his head. “your mommy is so beautiful, she deserves to be kissed every single day,” edward said between peppering kisses all over his son’s face and head. august laughed as eddie pressed a kiss to his nose and you hummed in amusement. “i hope you look like your mommy when you’re older,” edward not-so-quietly whispered. auggie shook his head.

“i wanna look like you,” he argued. it was your turn to press a kiss on auggie’s soft cheek.

“that’s fine by me, you can be handsome like your daddy,” you agreed. pink dusted over edward’s cheeks as you leaned forward to kiss him again, eddie covering auggie’s eyes this time. august gagged and yelled as he batted away his father’s hand.

“icky!” he exclaimed. edward suddenly flipped him upside down, holding him by the ankles and august screamed joyfully. “daddy, let me up!” he begged between laughs.

“i’m not done kissing your mom!” edward replied as he looked down to his son. you giggled as you swiped some of the hair out of his eyes before reconnecting your lips. eddie swung august side to side gently and you broke the kiss from laughing.

“pick him up, babe,” you implored softly. edward nuzzled his face against yours before pulling your boy back up correctly.

“come on auggie, let’s go read a story,” edward cleared his throat. you watched as your son clung onto his father and pet his hands through eddie’s hair.

“mommy is so pretty,” you heard your son say. you smiled sadly and pressed a hand to your heart.

“isn’t she?” eddie replied enthusiastically.

“can i marry her?” august asked. you giggled lightly.

“ah sorry buddy! i was already planning on doing that.”

See the full post

332 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#3

ohh ok tommy prompt….let’s think….. how about, ohh how about taking all his shirts and sewing a little heart under the collar (where it can’t be seen) and like not telling him until one day he catches the reader doing it? Or maybe like it’s late at night at arrow house and there’s a storm and tommy wakes up to find reader gone but she’s really just on the porch watching the lightning and then they sit and watch it together?❤️❤️❤️

as someone who used to have HUGE anxiety surrounding storms but now find them kinda calming, i love the storm idea :)

found comfort

tommy began to regain his consciousness as a loud clap of thunder shook the roof of arrow house. he blinked his groggy eyes a few times and ran a hand down his face as his vision adjusted to the dark bedroom.

he turned his head to look at you, but upon being met by your absence he cleared his throat and sat up, looking at the disheveled sheets where your body once laid. he placed his hand in your spot on the bed, the body heat nearly gone. he slowly swung his legs out of the warm covers, clad only in his underwear. lightning flashed through the curtains and another rumble of thunder gently shook the delicate objects in the bedroom.

tommy listened to the pouring rain outside as he walked slowly down the staircase, running his hand along the smooth wooden railing. he glanced from side to side looking for you, until he found the silhouette of a figure outside the large doors, it’s head tilted up at the sky as it’s robe blew gently in the wind.

tommy grinned to himself, making his way over to the doors as carefully as possible, not to startle you. when he was finally close to you he snaked his arms under your crossed ones and around your waist, placing his head on your shoulder. you calmly took ahold of his hands in yours, placing them on your heart as you gave them a light squeeze.

tommy turned to look at your face, your eyes being lit up by the occasional lightning and the rain dampening your hair that blew in the wind. he kissed your jawline before looking up to the sky just as you were.

“you left,” he mumbled with another kiss. you inhaled and exhaled slowly, taking in the atmosphere around you.

“i used to be scared of storms, tommy,” you recounted to your husband. he nodded, his messy raven hair tickling your cheek and you grinned. “but now i’ve grown up and i’m no longer scared. i find comfort in the rain, i just wanted to come out and bask in my achievement.”

you and tommy stood still for a moment, rain drops hitting your faces every so often as the two of you rocked side to side. he shivered ever so slightly from the cool wind and you grasped his arms tighter.

“baby you must be freezing, let’s go back to bed, yeah?” you offered, pressing a kiss to tommy’s temple. tommy’s big blue eyes were still focused up on the sky, not responding to your proposal. you waited a few more moments before adjusting yourselves into a proper hug, your head on tommy’s bare chest as he held you close.

“no, let’s stay out a little longer. i’ve found the same comfort that you have in the rain.”

337 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#2

surprise, baby

don’t come for me guys okay? especially the marvel fandom - my loves i promise i haven’t betrayed you, this man is just intoxicating🥴

warnings: angst, fluff, pregnancy, suggestion of abortion, language, jonathan being a bit of an asshole but he makes up for it (??)

you waited nervously in his office, listening to the clock tick-tock tick-tock as your heel bounced restlessly on the floor.

jonathan usually preferred you didn’t come visit him at work, he didn’t enjoy having you exposed to all the creeps who roamed gotham city. you weren’t afraid, however. you knew your husband wished to help people psychologically and that he dealt with some of the worst criminals in gotham city. the acclaimed dr. crane worked to help those who needed psychological attention in order to keep gotham safe for its citizens.

all that to be said, to a certain extent, you also knew your husband wasn’t a saint.

you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt nervously, constantly glancing at the ticking clock. one of jonathan’s assistants said he would be in shortly, as he was finishing up in a meeting. in the fifteen minutes you had alone to yourself in his office you had already paced, fidgeted with a few items in the drawers of his desk, drawn little doodles in his calendar, and talked yourself down from a panic attack.

the afternoon sun was bright in jonathan’s office. the blinds were barely opened, and you took it upon yourself to open them more to let in more light, telling yourself to breathe in the sun and think positively.

yeah, as positively as those pregnancy results received only thirty minutes ago at the doctor’s office.

you grabbed a lone picture frame from your husband’s desk to be met with an image of you genuinely smiling in bed one morning. with your hair disheveled and the sheets pulled above your chest, your nose was scrunched, your eyes were closed, and your grin was plumping your cheeks. you scoffed and shook your head, slightly embarrassed at the candid picture he had decided to print out of all the other pictures he had of you, but it still melted your heart he saw you as beautiful and perfect no matter how you looked.

you were torn from your thoughts as you heard footsteps approaching outside. you quickly placed the frame back where it was on the desk and took a deep breath. he would be happy. tick-tock. this was exciting. tick-tock. a new chapter for you and him-

“hello my angel,” jonathan’s smooth voice greeted as he opened the door. you turned your head to greet your husband with a smile as his icy blue eyes looked at you lovingly through his glasses. he shut the door behind him and walked over to you, kissing your lips gently. “i wasn’t expecting to see you here today,” he continued on as he took his seat across from you. you blinked, trying to hold back any sign of anxiety that he would surely pick up on.

“i know, i’m sorry… my plans got changed and i just needed to come here to talk to you,” you explained with a nervous smile. jonathan’s loving expression faltered slightly as he analyzed your tone and body language. he blinked, parting his pink lips before speaking.

“something wrong, (y/n)?” he asked quizzically. god, you hated when he went all dr. crane on you. you were his wife, for god’s sake. you took a deep exhale, trying to straighten up.

“johnny, i have some news for you,” you began, your stomach doing absolute somersaults as you bit your lip. jonathan’s blue eyes stared at you as he awaited your announcement, unsure of what to expect. “i’m pregnant.”

jonathan sat there. he just sat. sat there like stoic dr. crane, professional dr. crane, as if you were venting to him about your mental dilemmas and troubles. he blinked his long eyelashes after a moment and took off his glasses, setting them on his desk.

“i’m sorry angel, what?” he asked, leaning forward slightly as if he needed to get closer to hear you. you blinked, your jaw open as you took in his unexpected reaction.

“i’m pregnant, jonathan,” you repeated, harsher than the time before. jonathan blinked once again as if you were speaking a language he didn’t understand. he then leaned back in his chair, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling as he swallowed. you scoffed, both hurt by his lack of excitement and pissed that your intelligent doctor was at a loss for words over this.

“shit…” he muttered, his hands behind his head. you did a double take and scoffed.

“babe i know we weren’t necessarily expecting this, but i had hoped you’d be a little more excited,” you began, trying to stay level-headed and talk it out with him. your anger slowly dissolved into panic as jonathan continued to be unresponsive. you stood up from your chair and walked around the desk to kneel in front of him, placing your hands on his knees. “talk to me jonathan, please,” you begged with worried eyes.

his eyes slowly lowered to meet yours, and he adjusted himself so he was closer to you and his hands were atop yours. your husband’s expression, though still very concentrated, still gave you warmth and comfort as you looked into his big blue eyes.

“and, we’re keeping it?” he verified with the slightest raise of an eyebrow.

you yanked your hands out from under his and stood up immediately, looking down at him with pure rage and aggression surging through your veins.

“was that a happy verification of ‘we’re keeping it’ or a disappointed ‘we’re keeping it?’” you barked. jonathan sat up in his chair, staring at you calmly as he took a deep breath. being the doctor that he was, he was very good at staying calm as you got angry at him and it took some effort to push his buttons.

usually.

See the full post

375 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

lulu

MY FIRST TOMMY SHELBY FIC LET’S GO!!!!!!

warnings: cursing, fluff, brief discussion of menstruation, the shelbys being the shelbys lmao

“alright, i’m tired of calling her ‘florence.’”

you looked over at your older brother-in-law who had just set down his drink as he made the declaration out of the blue. your eyes then looked over confusingly to tommy, who shrugged amusingly before both pairs of eyes gazed back over to arthur.

you, tommy, polly, and the rest of tommy’s siblings all sat around the candlelit dinner table together, a rare occurrence considering all the business usually being done. however, as more and more shelby heirs were born, efforts were made to let the children all get together as often as possible to ensure close family connections between all of them.

john’s children, ada’s karl, and your little florence louise ran rampant through arrow house as they giggled and occasionally yelled gleefully. the adults sat in the dining room, the kids only occasionally running through for being told not to run through the dining room. it was a calm evening, most of the family pretty well planning to spend the night in you and tommy’s home. the stars and moon lit through the curtains and soft candlelight illuminated the rest.

“arthur, ‘florence’ is her name, as well as what we’ve been calling her the past two and a half years… what do you mean you’re tired of her name?” you asked skeptically, a hint of amusement lacing your voice as you stared at arthur.

“you don’t just get to change her name,” ada chimed in with her eyebrows raised, looking at her brother like he was a complete idiot or something. arthur raised his hands in surrender and leaned back in his chair.

“lemme finish me fuckin’ thought, alright?” he defended calmly. all eyes were on arthur and you glanced once again to tommy, the look on his face reading “this is gonna be good.”

“call me stupid-“

“easy,” john interrupted.

“-, but ‘florence’ just doesn’t seem like a shelby name, y’know?” arthur explained. john broke out into laughter and you blinked with a puzzled expression. ada mumbled a “jesus christ” and finn looked as though he was internally pondering the question.

“not a shelby name?” you regurgitated. polly rolled her eyes.

“i think florence is a fine name, a very pretty name. i’m not sure what you’re on about,” she glared in arthur’s direction. “too many letters for you to write out there, arthur?” polly added teasingly and john punched his brother lightly in the shoulder. arthur ran a hand through his hair and looked up to the ceiling.

“it’s just the way it sounds,” he added with a sigh. you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at this point, glancing to your husband with a small smile plastered across his face. tommy wasn’t going to comment, no. he wanted to see how this would all play out.

“‘florence shelby’ sounds- hey! katie, get off your brother,” john snapped to his kids in the other room before continuing. “‘florence shelby’ sounds like a right fitting name to me…” john thought out loud.

“but like, it’s long, isn’t it?” arthur continued on, gesturing with his hands. you squinted.

“why don’t you count the syllables in it?” ada asked, glancing around.

“syllables?” finn asked from the side.

“as in how many parts the name is broken up into,” polly explained. finn nodded as everyone mumbled your daughter’s name and brought out fingers to count with.

flo-rence.

flo-rence.

flo-ren-ce?

no, flo-rence.

“i count two,” you announced. ada, arthur, and polly nodded.

See the full post

478 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[itsalliepg]

Drabbles - Mark x Renata (MC) - Part 1

SUMMARY: An anthology about Mark and Renata (MC)

PAIRING: Mark x Renata (MC)

RATING: Everyone

WORDS: 1803 divided in 7 drabbles

NOTE: Hey! Here some drabbles I made based on this post here. I divided in two parts. English isn’t my native language. I write to practice and learn, so please sorry any mistakes. I hope you like it, and if you do, I’d appreciate if you like/comment/reblog!Tagging  @seawhite-seafair @maxwells-nut@writtenbycandy @teamtomsato @endlessly-searching-for-you @thedepthsremember

1. “This has to be the second best day of my life.” Words: 317 

            After a day of working at Net4U, Renata came home and found Mark in the kitchen. He was putting something in the oven, and she could already identify the smell.

            _Mmm…lasagna…my favorite…- Mark turned to her and smiled.

            _I know – she approached him and he caught her lips in a passionate kiss – I went to the grocery today, and decided to cook something special for my beautiful girlfriend – she grinned – so, how was your day?

            _It was great! – Renata said excitedly, and Mark’s eyes widened in surprise – my last article had the record of clicks, Leah and I realized we already have enough money to hire another Net4U collaborator! – she took a dress from the bag in her hands – I went into a boutique, because of this gorgeous dress, and I found out the only dress they had was this one, that was in the shop window and was my size! – he giggled – and now my amazing boyfriend is cooking my favorite dish!

            _How lucky you are!

            _I know! This has to be the second best day of my life! – Mark turned to her, arching an eyebrow.

            _Really? – he wrapped his arms around her waist – and what’s your first best day?

            _Well, obviously the day Net4U won that prize… - Renata wrapped her arms around his neck.

            _Of course – he kissed her forehead – which is also the day our relationship became official, right?

            _Oh, yeah? I don’t remember that – she said innocently – if it wasn’t for the award, this would be the fourth or fifth best day of my life – Mark rolled his eyes, but kissed Renata deeply. She pulled back panting.

            _And now? – he smirked.

            _Well…now it’s the third one – she winked.

            _Oh? So I guess I’ll have to do something after dinner to make you change your mind – they shared a sly smile and kissed again – I love you, Renata.

            _I love you too, Mark.

2. “Your hair is the softest thing I have ever had the blessing of touching.” Words: 269

           On a Saturday afternoon, Mark and Renata were sitting on the couch watching TV. At some point, he lay down on the couch and rested his head on her lap. She laughed.

           _It’s me who usually does it – they smiled and she stroked his hair, as he did when she lay on his lap. After a while, he sighed.

           _If I tell you something you promise me you will not be angry?

           _Of course no, Mark! – she widened her eyes – why?

           _Well, my shampoo was over and I used yours…

           _...and?

           _Was it. I used your shampoo.

           _Mark, did you really think I’d be mad at you over of a shampoo? – she tickled his stomach.

           _It’s yours, Renata. I used it without asking permission.

           _Well, you don’t have to ask permission to use my things, okay? – she enlaced her hand on his and kissed his knuckles. He grinned.

           _Thanks. But I must confess I’ve always wanted to try on your shampoo – Renata chuckled.

           _Really? Why?

           _Well, your hair is the softest thing I have ever had the blessing of touching – Mark put his hand to her hair and stroked it – I’m not so vain, but I wanted to see what it would do to my hair – she laughed.

           _You’re lovely, Mark Collins – she turned her head and kissed his hand – and I think you should use my shampoo from now on. Your hair is significantly soft.

           _You think so? – he smiled broadly.

           _Definitely – she smiled back.

           _There’s another thing I love about this shampoo: it smells like you – he caressed her cheek. Blushing slightly, she bent to kiss him.

 3. “I don’t know, go eat a cabbage or something.” Words: 203

           _Nata…- Mark sat beside Renata in the bed, and softly tucked her hair behind her ear.

           _Hum? – she asked, still looking at her laptop.

           _Come play video game with me? – he asked, almost begging.

           _I already said we can do it later, baby.

           _Pleeeease? – he pouted, looking at her with puppy eyes. She finally looked at him.

           _I’m busy, Mark. I have to finish this article, review and post today.

           _Aaaah, I hate when you bring work home…what am I going to do until you finish?

           _I don’t know, go eat a cabbage or something.

           _What? – he grimaced – you know I hate cabbage!            _Exactly. You’ll be pretty busy trying to eat something you don’t like. Who knows you end up liking cabbage – she arched an eyebrow to him, and he laughed.

           _You call me a dork, but so do you – he kissed her cheek.

           _I know. It’s daily living with you – Mark rolled his eyes.

           _I don’t know if I’m offended or flattered – Renata brushed her nose against his.

           _Believe me, it was a compliment – he smiled.

           _Thank you – he sighed – okay, I’m not going to bother you anymore.

           _Thanks – she returned to her article, and he picked up his phone and earphones.

 4. “Leaving me alone was everyone’s first mistake.” Words:249

           _Hello, Mark! – Renata greeted as he locked the front door. She walked to him for a kiss – how was your day?

           _It was…interesting. My room is being renovated, and I have to share a room with three interns, who kept talking all the time. I was getting very annoyed and didn’t know what to do, and finally they left the room to do, I don’t know what. When the room finally fell silent, I noticed how my head was aching.

           _Oh, poor Mark – she massaged his temples – but dit you get to work?

           _Well, I took advantage of my solitude and I worked on the plot for a new game.

           _Oh, that’s nice! – she smiled – so, can I see the drabbles you did?

           _Actually, the drafts are almost ready – he showed the graphics on his tablet.

           _Mark! Did you do all this in just one day? – Renata’s eyes widened.

           _Leaving me alone was everyone’s first mistake – he grinned proudly – I found out when I’m annoyed I feel more creative.

           _So I think you should hire some interns to bother you from now on – they burst into laughter and shared a deep kiss – how about we order a takeout to celebrate?

           _Great idea – Mark hugged Renata and kissed her again – and I think your hands are magic, my head isn’t aching anymore.

           _Oh, you know very well how powerful my hands are – she winked.

           _Mmm…I think I’ll have to see this more closely later – he smirked and they kissed again.

 5. “So, funny story, I might have done some not so intentional redecorating when you were gone.” Words: 314

           Renata got home after going to the gym, and noticed something different in the living room.

           _Mark? Are you there? – Mark came out of the bedroom.

           _Hey, baby – he smiled and kissed her – did you see the wall? – he pointed to a landscape painting hanging above the couch.

           _Yeah, I saw the wall, the rack, the chairs…what happened here?

           _This painting is too beautiful to hang in our bedroom, so I decided to put it here. But the best place was this wall, so we could see when we got home. But it didn’t look good above the TV, so I had to put the rack there – he pointed out – and of course, the couch and the chairs had to move places too, or we couldn’t watch TV! – she giggled – I didn’t mean to change everything, I just wanted to put the painting here, and when I realized, the living room was completely different. So, funny story, I might have done some not so intentional redecorating when you were gone – he took her hands – so, did you like it?

           _Actually, I liked this setup more than the previous one! – Renata grinned – it was a great idea to bring the painting here! And here I thought you were into Feng Shui or something…

           _Feng…what? – Mark grimaced and Renata shook her head, smiling.

           _Never mind, it’s nothing. So, what do we do now? – she wrapped her arms around his neck.

           _What about we take advantage of this change of positions in the room and try new positions as well? – he blinked in surprise – sorry, this sounded better in my mind…

           _I love the idea! – she interrupted, laughing – but I have to take a shower first, I just left the gym.

           _Well, I need a shower too. I’m all sweaty from dragging the furniture – he smirked before taking her in his arms and walking to the bathroom.

6. “That fish looks like me! Look! We have the same distant cold stare.” Words: 280

           _Okay, what kind of animal do you want, Nata? – Mark asked s they arrived at the animal shelter.

           _If you don’t mind, I’d love a cat. I always wanted one, but my sister is allergic – Renata smiled when she saw a Siamese cat in a cage and walked over there – awwww, aren’t you the cutest thing in the world? – she approached and the cat bat its paw in the cage – I think she likes me!

           _How do you know it’s a girl?

           _This little sign here says her name is Lola…I like that – Renata opened the cage and took Lola in her arms. The cat snuggled up and purred – Mark…

           _I think it’s fate. She has to come with us, right, Lola? – he smiled and stroked Lola’s head, and she moved closer to his hand.

           _She likes you too! Oh, my God, she’s the one, baby! – Renata bounced, holding Lola tight – let’s go to sign the adoption papers!

           _Sure, let’s go – Mark took her hand and they walked over the counter. Next to them, she noticed a bunch of aquariums and stared at them for a while – did you find something interesting?

           _That fish looks like me! Look! We have the same distant cold stare –Renata pointed to a golden fish. Mark looked at it, attentively.

           _Mmm…you’re right. It looks like you when you’re working and ignore me – he smirked and she pinched his cheek.

           _And Lola looks like you when I’m working and you want to cuddle – she looked at the cat in her arms. When Renata said that, Lola stretched and snuggled even closer to her. They giggled.

           _I have no doubt she’s the perfect pet for us.

7. “You know what, I don’t really feel like getting tortured today, can you just let me go with a stern warning.” Words:171

           Mark was leaving the apartment to go to work, when Renata appeared in front of him, arms folded.

           _What?

           _You forgot to do the dishes last night – he tapped his forehead.

           _Sorry, babe. I really forgot.

           _This will have consequences for you, mister – she remained serious.

           _Oh? – he widened his eyes – what kind of consequences?

           _Bad consequences.

           _ You know what, I don’t really feel like getting tortured today, can you just let me go with a stern warning? – Renata sighed and rolled her eyes.

           _Okay, I’ll give you a chance. If you don’t wash tonight, you will sleep on the couch – she arched an eyebrow, trying to suppress a laugh, but she let out when he tickled her – this is unfair! I can’t get mad at you!

           _Believe me, I know – he kissed her deeply, and she pulled back grinning – don’t worry, the first thing I’ll do when I get back from work is wash everything.

           _Okay – she smiled – I love you so much, Mark.

           _I love you too, Nata.

Thanks for reading!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future fanfics!

[saniika]

As promised before this is a drama-free blog. Please do not read further, this is a personal announcement which is very much in the drama category. There will be no filter and lots of swear words. 

TLDR: I am not well, will be not active as usual and don’t know when Ill be back. Bunch of stuff is gone, it’s not just you imagining things. I wrote all this since I gotten asks which I hid away from.

I am not ok. For about a year I've gotten under lot of pressure, both mental and physical. Shortly before that I closed  very traumatic period in my life and even went of antidepressant. And then bam, the above happened, yoi came in the mix. Wow! Fantastic a coping mechanism, works so well. I am happy. Friends message me genuinely excited to see me happy. I listen to music, read, draw and it shows its full of love. A sanii-wonderland.

But... nothing lasts forever, right?

I entered this exhausted and rushed like a hound dog. I wanted validation, to matter and make some good for the world (I cant sadly cure ass politics, world hunger or happiness for LGBT...yeah.) So Ive set to put my services into promoting writers with fanarts to their fanfics - because hey they made me happy, what other way to show thanks? Drawing fanarts just to join the happy in the community. Talk in streams. And Im telling you the insomnia rushes where the brain was like squirrel on caffeine - those are really damn productive periods. With horrible consequences.

Months went by, sometimes I didnt feel good, panic attacks started to be present, nightmare drove me to the point of waking up in fright (I got scared I fell asleep). Other health related issues arose...twirling down the ground as they say.

I met some really nice people which I will not mentioned here as I dont want to pull them into my drama post (even if id say thanks), participated on incredible project. The more I got involved into the fandom and socials it got faster and before I knew it - I felt like im stuck on a rollercoaster, about to puke and the fucking ride doesn't stop.

Thoughts like these arose - I’m too old, I’m not fast enough, cant keep up this speed, why does this person has so much success, has so many friends etc. Bad bad toxic feelings - which I am happy I did not act upon, no one deserved these and it was all in me. Friends helped here since I admitted these to them and was quite surprised to hear many felt similar - burnout from the fandom, apps in general, life in the whole mix.

I thouhgt itll pass, focused on the writing which made me really excited and productive. I drew my whole life, its the best I can do - the other thing I can do best is - hating myself. So believe it or not that actually helped with yakov flamers - no one can hate myself more than me. Im a medalist at that. Back back to the track.

Physically speaking I sought out doctors and they didnt help me as I expected they would. I have to write and type a lot in IRL job and my chronic pain in hand turned into vicious icepick stabing pain in collarbone + completely sore numb right upper torso. It took me a week to be able to type on a phone without vincing.

And few days ago - I actually cant tell what day it was because I spend the whole weekend in bed and ate once. Never had such episode, so that was really... not fun - I had a meltdown and deleted bunch of things. So if you cant find them - they are not there. You will see my art rebloged here and there, but the original posts are gone. With each delete I felt lighter and had a good cry too.

It all came down to this - I felt cheap, taken for granted and all the initial thoughts of happy turned into realisation (with the help of friends) that I do expect things in return. Im not the type to play an attention whore and avoid posting complaints as pest. Yet here I am. Because -

Bit by bit I neglected breaks for bathroom for drawing. Didnt rest the hand when I was supposed to. Wrote feedback or comments for others when I was tired. Offered support on drunk/depressive/suicidal posts and offered support in chat even though I should have invested into selfcare. And it all snowballed to this - loosing love towards certain pairings, drawing itself. Aaaaand posting 2 pics after such a break brought me to breathing labored and wow, suddenly I am here - BAM - very not ok.

I left a bunch of places, set up things so that I speak with bare minimum of people. I have no idea what Ill do from now on, but I know its easier to just watch others and consume - or maybe even easier to watch as little as possible (let me be frank, I really don’t care who sticks a dick to whom’s ass - petty discourse about pairings and topping really sour me and - EAT VICTORS DICK, CHOKE ON IT - became my private favorite curse. Don’t get me started on self entitled critics on whats right to draw, write and ship.... FUCKING WILL YA - just do your thing, have fun, SHUT UP - make stuff that makes you happy if you don’t see it around or PAY others to do it. OR like support them, be NICE. Doesn’t hurt...promise.)

I flipped the switch, lost it grand and that’s it. I wont be putting restrictions on myself here saying I wont draw ever or this fandom - that’s not how it works. But right now? Ill be happy if I manage to deliver work on a project I don’t want to fall out of. I tried the appeal of sharing work privately to friends or to no one at all. Engaging on discords and DMs - so freeing to talk about stories and stuff without tumblr police. I just cant do this anymore - posting out there steals my breath and it fucking hurts.

I hope you enjoyed all I did, it all came from heart - that’s all. I know Ill sweat all nervous posting this, but YAKOV COURAGE WOLF tells me so. Better than listening to voices telling me to go shit at Wendy's bar.

Thanks for everything.

[spiritses]

Hey guys I'm back and my camping trip was amazing, unfortunately all the things I drew are only half finished so I won't be posting them (I'll finish 'em up eventually, don't worry), but I watched season three of vOLTRON LAST NIGHT AT LIKE MIDNIGHT AND JUST BINGE WATCHED IT UNTIL LIKE TWO AM AND I WAS LEGIT TRYING NOT TO SCREAM THINGS AT MY TABLET SCREEN WHILE WATCHING IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT UNDER MY COVERS. (I'll try not to spoil anything here on this post)

I just. Wow. It was amazing, holy frickin hell. fANART IS ALREADY ON ITS WAY. and I just, all the little Keith and Lance bonding moments and and I just can't mcfrickfrackin believe this. And aLLURA, oh my gOD. and LOTOR. AND HIS GENERALS HOLY COOOOOOWWWW. I'm in love with all four of them, I swear ghisihfshifsihfsfihava my gOSH. And we finally got a bACKSTORY FOR SOME THINGS I WAS SO HaPpYY and eXcITeD, aaAAaAaaAhHHhhHh

Once I finished watching the season I just kind of sat in my bed for a full ten minutes wondering what the fUCK I'm supposed to do with my life now, and then I wANTED to finally come back to tumblr and IG and shit to check out all the cool conspiracy theories about the season that people have ALREADY made so many of but I just..

I fell asleep. I spent ten minutes staring at a blank tablet screen before I decided to head over to tumblr (note, this was at two am, and I was EXHAUSTED from all the season three adrenaline I just went through), but instead I just fell asleep. Right there. At least I was already in my bed and not sitting at my desk watching it on my computer,  because lol I know from experience that falling asleep at my desk is extremely uncomfortable and I always wake up with a sore body. XD (the amount of times I've accidentally fallen asleep at my desk at some ungodly hour of the morning is.. too many to count)

aNYWAYS, prepare yourselves for a hUUGE spam of season three shit, so my tumblr is pretty soon going to FULL of spoilers.., so.. just a warning. (I'm probably going to end up reblogging  a bunch of stuff and I can't guarantee that there'll be warnings on everything??? I might not reblog that stuff, idk, we’ll see) And art!! Im going to be drawing so much fanart for s3 throughout the next few days (not sure if anything but traditional sketches will be posted by today tho, bc I'm pretty busy.. BUT THERE'L BE BIG ART PIECES SOON. VERY SOON) bc I just.., s3... it was amazing.... (Also, I bet you all could tell that I'm still very very exhausted judging by my lack of proper grammar interspersed throughout this whole thing (I tried fixing most of the mistakes but., I'm tired.. XD but if this is the price I have to pay to have be able to binge watch the entire season in one go, (I never would've been able to find time during the day) it was deeEEEFINITELY worth it))