#rebal d x you

[thefanficmonster]

Hey 🥰

How are you doing?

I wanted to ask if you'd want to write something for Rebal?.. I have nothing really in mind bc I'm terrible at requesting 😭 but like.. maybe something like strangers to lovers if you're up to it?

It's totally up to you what you write or if you write! 🥰

Hope you have a great day! 🤍

Hi darling! Strangers-to-lovers with Rebal? Consider it done! Hope you enjoy this cute little drabble 💕

Pairing: Rebal D x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of a recent break-up (brief)

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: You meet Rebal on New Year's eve, under the light of the magnificent fireworks lighting up the sky

The sound of a hundred voices counting down in unison gradually turns into cheering and laughter as hugs and kisses are exchanged amidst the couples, friends and family members in the crowd. The dark night sky glows with the fireworks that clearly aren't at all cheap. Actually, they're nothing short of impressive.

And yet, as you look at them through the screen of you phone as you record them, you feel like you're dimming their light for yourself.

No one can blame you though. The plan hadn't originally been to come here as a party of one. Too bad the person who was supposed to be by your side right now, sharing a kiss with you no less, stepped out of your life less than a week ago.

They say the New Year's kiss is for good luck, but you doubt even that can save your unfortunate situation in the love department.

"They're gorgeous, aren't they?" It takes you a moment to register the voice over the popping of fireworks and colliding voices and then another moment to realize it's referring to you.

Turning your head you see a fella in the same predicament as you - he's a solo performer, much like you. Based off of the look on his face, you'd never think he's unhappy about it. But then again the smile you give him is rather convincing too, therefore you may never know for certain.

"The fireworks? They sure are! Not a penny was spared." You answer, doing your best to fight the noise around you in order for him to hear and understand you.

You've strayed away from romance novels now that you're no longer a teenager, but even with your venture into Stephen King, you're pretty aware of how textbook-romance-novel is the thought that flashes through your mind as he returns that smile - one you think of as brighter than the fireworks themselves.

"Yeah. We got lucky, got the best seats in the house." He replies, nodding to the expanse of sky fogged up by the smoke left behind the display of beautiful, sparkling lights.

"It's a shame some people opted out of seeing them." You say rather bitterly but some of that bitterness gets lost with the small smirk on your face. Not that you aren't salty about it, but still.

"I'm not complaining." The guy shrugs his shoulders, his curly hair moving on cue, "If they were here they might've blocked our view."

Huh, you think to yourself, what a perpesctive.

"I'm Rebal, by the way." He extends a hand for an official greeting.

You take it right away, "Y/N. Nice to meet you, Rebal."

"Likewise." His dark eyes sparkle with a mix of joy and something a lot like hesitation before the next words follow, "Got plans for the rest of the evening?"

You hum, giving a pause to 'think' of an answer, "I'll cancel them if you have something in mind."

"Then cancel them." Hell, even if you had plans, the wink he responds with would've cancelled them itself.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Patches

As I sit and finish some character sheets I’ve been meaning to put together for Shenanigans (I’m hoping to have enough spoons to do Shenanigans so I’d like to at least be ready; this week has been just hell on wheels and I haven’t managed to finish the last one I need), there’s a thing I’ve noticed about D&D in terms of sourcebooks: In terms of character and class balance, it feels an awful lot like playing Overwatch.

Just, like ... you’ve got your classic races and classes, and those were balanced to work with each other. But then you have your races in Volo’s, and your classes in Xanathar’s, and whole other races and classes in other books, and none of them were necessarily balanced with the PHB stuff in mind. So they put out variants for the classic races and classes (hello, Tasha’s) to try to balance them out. Except Tasha’s gives new classes too so the tweaks to the classic races and classes are more balanced for those than they are for some of the other ones in different books and you end up with a situation where depending on what you’re going for, playing ... say, human, or even half-elf or something ... just stops being worth it.

Plus these tweaks and even attempts at rebalance cost an awful lot of money, whereas at least Overwatch just patches the damn things into the game. Yes, someone is incredibly grumpy about Tasha’s and Monsters of the Multiverse. Particularly that last, because I already have Mordenkainen’s and Xanathar’s and Volo’s but MotM gives us tweaks and changes and I’m going to have to decide whether I use that one next campaign or whether I stick with my three.

I swear before all the gods, this is my impetus to actually write Torinn’s Guide to Elossa. If I want one fucking sourcebook that’s going to cover everything I need it to cover without any arguments about which sourcebooks we can and cannot use, I’m just going to have to write it myself. That’s honestly what the Saturday Shenanigans are for - not only does it help me flesh out the game world (this next batch of Shenanigans are going to be based on the sea-based settlements of the Moskoy people), but it lets me know what races I should include, which ones I need to tweak and how, and what I can just fucking leave out. Also saves the whole “You can have some of the races from X book but not that one“ issue.

(No Changelings. That is the rule. Shit’s complicated enough as it is, especially with an eight-person party in the main campaign. I wasn’t going to include minotaurs either but Brian had such a good idea and I made it work on an accidental dimension-hop technicality and tweaked a few bits and pieces to balance his beefy ass a little better with the rest of the party and so these things are flexible, sometimes. Just not with Changelings.)

And yeah, I could get the online versions of all of these where the tweaks are probably built in, but fuck that; I don’t really like reading sourcebooks on the computer. It’s great if I need to look up a very specific thing, but I need to be able to flip through the actual dead tree book if I’m going to use it for inspirational purposes. And honestly, beyond the base rules, that’s all I use the books for anyway. I use them the way Dr Frankenstein used morgues and the like - pick the best bits for what I want to create and put them together. Which reminds me of a comment a friend of mine made when I was explaining one of my players’ characters and the choice of god made him go “Pfft; go Realms or go home”. My response was as the above: “Pfft right back at you; I’m doing homebrew - picking the best of everything and stitching it all together into something glorious. Like Dr Frankenstein!”

He said: “...Created a monster that ended up killing him?”

So I just said, “If there’s a better way of describing a campaign from a DM’s point of view, I haven’t heard it yet”.

On that note, back to water genasi kensei monk. And wondering whether I require more coffee for this. ...Probably. I always require more coffee. And then I need to do some gardening; it’s time to repot some mint and strawberries. And after that we’ll see if I have the spoons to actually run a thing after working on character sheet. Yeesh.

[peachyteabuck]

ohmygod the little toe beans have me going 🥺🖤 and thank you for the answer!!! but, and I hope I'm not being annoying, I've had people tell me that "oh fanfiction is great, fuck yeah! but just 'x reader fics' are cringey and a big no, no..." but, like, why are self/reader inserts looked down at?? -🐙

ik he’s got these perfect lorge peets...they consume my every thought

ANYWHO:

i’ll extrapolate on this point from my last answer:

“THEREFORE:

it starts a cycle wherein the people who write “good” fanfiction (not x reader) justify their “good” fanfiction” by creating an “other” (x reader fiction) to hate on. “oh, i’m not one of those fanfiction writers,” they tell themselves. 

it happens in a lot of ostracised/oppressed communities. 

like, everyone’s cool now with you going to therapy, but god forbid you go to sex therapy. everyone’s cool with you saying you’re doing a face mask as “self care,” but god forbid you need a day off from work to rebalance your mental health. you can be gay, but god forbid you’re trans and gay. you can be trans, but god forbid you look trans. etcetc.

just, i think the x reader hate comes from infighting, and it representative of a much larger issue.”

so:

let’s talk about the overton window!!

“the overton window” is a phrase used by political scientists to describe what we view as normal and acceptable vs. not normal and not acceptable. carlos maza, a man who is as sweet irl as he is online, did a really good video about it in the context of the trump admin that you can watch here. 

so, fanfiction by non-fanfiction people is viewed as “not normal” and “not acceptable.” unless you’re a 13 year old girl writing totally fluffy coffee shop aus about the latest boyband or anime, it’s not something they think of as acceptable. don’t talk about it, don’t mention it, only every utter anything about it if its the butt of a joke.

obvi this doesn’t work for fanfiction consumers and producers for..uh..obvious reasons.  so, within the community, our overton window has shifted to include fanfiction as something normal. 

but, what if our secret gets out? what if we need to justify our fanfiction to ourselves? we need something to point to and say “oh, don’t worry. what i do is totally normal, it’s not unlike [thing]”

and for whatever reason we’ve chosen it as x reader fanfiction. i have NO idea why, other than that, hey, it’s probably weird to read 2nd person for the first time (i distinctly remember sitting in freshman year english and my teacher going ‘now, many of you may have never read anything in 2nd person’ and my fanfiction ass went D:), or it may be something people are unfamiliar with. no matter what, reader insert fanfiction has been chosen as a scapegoat.

we see this phenomena a lot, to varying degrees of intensity and outcome. (contrapoints has a video on ‘shame’ that’s both beautiful and meaningful, as well as explaining this concept a lot more succinctly than i can.) 

from my answer to your last ask:

“everyone’s cool now with you going to therapy, but god forbid you go to sex therapy. everyone’s cool with you saying you’re doing a face mask as “self care,” but god forbid you need a day off from work to rebalance your mental health. you can be gay, but god forbid you’re trans and gay. you can be trans, but god forbid you look trans.”

in short, it’s normalization at a cost. “you can have this, but not that.” 

TLDR:

 i know why self inserts have become a scapegoat, but i don’t know why self inserts specifically were chosen. likely because teenage girls like them, and misogyny exists. 

hope that helps!

[jessica-harrison]

Skills

Cover photo: https://www.ipr.edu/blogs/audio-production/what-can-i-do-with-an-audio-production-degree/

As mentioned in the 'Industry Research' section of this blog, it isn't just the technical skills future employers will want to see. They want to see how your passion and art is fuelled also!! Sound design is more than just a series of sticking sounds together in a DAW. It's all about creating the other half of the story!

Core values & necessary skills

In my blog's branding section, I spoke about core values and those I deem to be top of my list. Core values make us who we are. It's what drives ambition and our creative thought process.

Accountability is high on my list of values/skills. Being accountable for the amount and quality of work we do is crucial. Often we dismiss our failures because we won't hold ourselves responsible. Though, at the other end of the spectrum, we more often than not, sing our praises. So holding yourself accountable as an individual or team unit, is just as crucial during the failures as it is during the success.

Whilst, teamwork is a very cliché term used with regards to employability, it remains a massive part of my core skill set. Being surrounded by team members is an excellent way to find a creative place in a project. I can then take those ideas and present for peer review. Having people to work with not only makes producing a big project easier. Still, it gives me a tremendous sense of satisfaction that like-minded creatives have come together to create something incredible.

Passion is a big part of what drives me. Music and composing is such a wonderful expression of artistry for me. Not just the music side of things, but I then took my love for music (and audio in general) regarding sound design. I began exploring the more intricate realms of audio. Each day my passions grow, but I NEVER wonder why I love what I do, not even on my worst days.

Respect is a skill I'm continually re-evaluating. I think it is undeniably essential to respect other people and their creative differences.

Continuous improvement is about always finding new and exciting ways to work. Technology changes exceptionally fast these days, and in audio production, the skillsets also have to change. Keeping up to date on industry techniques, skills, and methods will ensure I stay relevant to the expected work output. There are some general skills required to be a sound designer composer within the creative industries. However, some more specific skills are necessary if specialising in TV & film or games.

Basic skills: 

Creating, maintaining and backing of own original sound libraries.

Digital signal processing

Producing sound maps/ storyboards from scripts.

Mixing inside Digital Audio Workstations

Work along with side other members of the audio post-production team

Sector-specific skills

TV/Film and Game skills:

Compose and engineer music

improving sound quality

Spot, arrange and edit audio into video, or other mediums.

Use visual logic systems such as Max MSP.

Use of game implementation systems, i.e. Unity, Unreal, Fmod and Wwise.

Layering sounds to have a desired/or specific effect.

I have begun creating and collating my sound libraries last year. At first, I had incredibly long titles for samples and one-shots but started finding it hard to achieve all of the sounds (both RAW and edited). That was until I came across the word 'metadata'. Having a logical and easily navigable database of sounds is crucial to making my workflow more efficiently. I'm starting my journey into audio metadata with a free app called Soundly. Soundly offers a free-plan with up to 2500 local file storage and access to free cloud-based sound effects. To start, this will be ideal, but I would like to look at other plans that will include Cloud storage backup in the future. Currently I backup all of my libraries onto an 8TB desktop drive, another external HDD and my google drive. 

What is digital sound processing or DSP, you may ask? Digital sound processing is where audio converts from analogue to digital signal. A series of mathematical calculations are then applied before the signal returns to analogue before final output. As a producer/composer/sound designer, I use various plugins to manipulate the sounds inside my Digital Audio Workstation (DAW). Plugins come in many forms. VST is the most common form of an audio plugin and is Microsoft's Virtual Studio Technology. Avid uses its plugin file system called AAX (Avid Audio Extension), and Apple uses its own AU system (Audio Unit).

Below is a small list of plugins that I utilise during my time working on projects in the studio:

Fabfilter Pro-Q 3

Waves H delay

iZotope RX8 - Music Rebalance

Facebook 360 Spatial Workstation AAX plugin (Pro Tools)

I use Logic Pro X as my music production/composition DAW of choice. I believe this offers a great deal of flexibility to music composers alike. 

In contrast, I use Pro Tools as my post-production tool. Here, I produce final mixes of songs before proceeding onto the mastering process, which I also use Pro Tools. Pro Tools is also my DAW of choice for sound design work, purely because of its sheer power in dealing with raw audio.

During a mix-down phase of a musical composition, you should hear each instrument with clarity. Musical instruments all operate at different frequencies within the frequency spectrum. By respecting the base frequencies at which a particular instrument's audio outputs, I can make the final asset as audibly clear as possible, for maximum viewing pleasure. 

When working on sound design projects, I will often improve the sound of my source audio captured when out in the field inside iZotope RX8. Here I will remove clicks, hissing, background hum, de-verb, and even isolate parts of dialogue to ensure that audio is optimal for project usage.

I do love writing music and producing sound effects! I like to create work for TV & film, animations, interactive media, audiobooks and more. I import video assets into my DAW (Logic Pro X or Pro Tools depending on projects final output). 

This way, I have a visual in front of me from which to work. You can then lock the audio event in position with the video using SMTPE time code. This way, it keeps my music and sound effects in the exact place they need to be, without fear of being moved or adjusted in any way. Just don't forget to lock the positions!!

Max MSP is a powerful visual logic system for generating sound design and producing electronic music. I am new to this software and am learning new and exciting ways to integrate MAX MSP into my DAW workflow. I decided to explore the unique and intricate methods of composing music and designing sound for various media forms.

Examples of work

The best way to showcase both technical and artistic skill is quite obviously through social media platforms. Instagram has become a staple platform where businesses and creatives promote themselves and their craft. There are other platforms such as YouTube, SoundCloud, Twitter, Facebook (and don't forget LinkedIn!) to name but a few. With all of these beautiful places to promote me and work, I must consider the type of content I post to maintain maximum engagement with audiences and potential employers.

After many years of making and producing music at home, my interest in exploring the world of all thing's audio continued to grow. I purchased myself a simple, cheap portable recorder, some dirt-cheap microphones, and just went out and explored the world around me. At first, I made some novice mistakes in just aimlessly pointing and pressing the record button. Still, I soon learned that I merely heard things playback after recording. I never stopped to listen before I hit that big red button!

Slowly I got better (still, a long way to go), but most importantly I absolutely loved the process, and still am! I took great inspiration from reading the sound Effects Bible by Ric Viers (https://www.ricviers.com/sound-effects-bible) and Field Recording from Research To Wrap by Paul Virostek (https://www.creativefieldrecording.com/downloads/field-recording-from-research-to-wrap/). Both explain in great detail about how to get set up, get a recording and start collating my sound libraries.

With that said here's one of my first sound design projects. By this time, I had upgraded my audio recorder and had a few new microphone additions. Jez Riley French's D-Series Hydrophone, C – Series Contact mic, and his electromagnetic coil mic. Again, it was a learning curve starting with these new bits of kit, but I am genuinely pleased with how much this project turned out.

Without further ado, I present to you a lovely piece of animation by Polynoid, titled Mem. I create a gorgeous stereo cacophony of delicate sounds with Sci-Fi and electronic elements that lend itself well to the animation's energy.

ENJOY (with headphones is best!))

[golden-deer-dear]

History on Repeat, Chapter 2: Lost, Claude x Byleth Modern Fic

Summary: Byleth slept after she lost him, awakening ages later to Garreg Mach University. She is drawn into the friendly competition between dorm floors, an argument as to which D&D group is better, trips to coffee shops, and the questions into her own lost memories.

Claude could not help but be suspicious of Seteth’s niece who appeared out of nowhere, but there was something so familiar about her, something that made his heart ache. How had she appeared in his dreams years before either of them even came to the University?

Read on AO3.

Prologue Chapter 1

The stone was warm against his back as he laid down, folding his arms behind his head to serve as a cushion. Starlight winked down at him, making him feel more relaxed than he had felt in years. He picked out familiar constellations, the myths behind them floating through his mind.

“I knew you’d be up here.”

He couldn’t help but smile. He would recognize that melodious voice anywhere. “And I knew you’d find me eventually.”

She let out a soft hum, amusement lining her voice. “What would Seteth say if he caught us sneaking out on our own engagement party?”

She sat down next to him, and without even thinking about it his arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against his body. “He’ll get over it.” He kissed her, brushing back mint green strands of hair to tuck behind her ear. “Tomorrow I get to marry the most amazing woman in the world. No one could ruin this for me.”

Her laughter rang clear through the night air. She said something, and he responded with something equally amusing. But the dream was fading, and he could no longer make out the words. 

He could feel her straddle him, kissed her back when she leaned down to kiss him, hot and desperate. He felt his body respond to her, eager for her touch. But her smile and laughter, the beauty of her above him, slipped through his fingers.

Claude woke with a deep groan and slammed a pillow over his face. For a week now he had dreamed of the green haired woman. Sometimes he fought at her side. Sometimes they were matching wits in political battles. The last two nights, however, Claude found himself whispering words of love to her, kissing and touching her in only the way two people deeply in love would. 

“Great,” he said into his pillow, voice muffled by the fabric and stuffing. “I’m having fucking wet dreams about some fantasy woman my mind cooked up. Just wonderful.”

/

Byleth was bored. 

There were only so many times she could walk the estate before the repetitiveness of the action was no longer interesting or distracting. Flayn had shown her how to work the device known as a TV, but she was so far removed from knowing any cultural context that it all flew over her head. (She had found a few romance movies she enjoyed, but the majority made her sigh with disappointment. The overuse of small moments of miscommunication as a plot line was baffling to her.) Even the phone Seteth had given her had stopped working.

She needed to get out of the house. Her boredom was going to turn her to insanity at this rate. Which was why she was finding her way to the garage. Indech was there, as he always was, polishing a black car that was already spotless. He glanced up at her when she entered, but did not stop his task.

Indech was a broad shouldered man. When he stood still he looked more like a bulwark than a human. Byleth was certain she had never heard him speak, but like Flayn and Seteth, there was something about him that felt familiar. It was nowhere near as strong, more like a nagging at the very back of her mind than the comfort she felt with the other two.

She watched him for a few minutes, comfortable with the silence. Indech did not try to draw her into conversation, nor did he really expect anything from her. Byleth figured that was why she came to the garage so often the past few days and watched him work on Seteth’s collection of classic cars.

When Indech straightened and turned to her, Byleth finally asked, “Can you take me to where Flayn and Seteth are?”

Indech gave her a shrewd look, but eventually nodded. He led her over to another car, this one more convintinal than the previous one he had worked on. He held the passenger door open for her, and helped her with the seatbelt. Byleth had seen him take Flayn and Seteth into town, but never actually been in a car herself.

Indech got in on the driver’s side and they were off. The change in scenery did wonders for Byleth’s mood immediately. She leaned back in the plush seat, watching as the green acreage of the estate gave way to the roads and buildings of a small town. Buildings grew taller and closer together, more people were about to wander the streets. 

Indech eventually pulled the car up alongside a group of buildings, many people coming and going from each of them. Some of them did not seem to care about the multiple cars they were having to dodge as they ran to their next destination. 

Cars honked at Indech as he parked the car, seemingly somewhere he was not supposed to, but that soon stopped as soon as the large man stepped out of the car. He came around to the other side and opened the door for Byleth, offering her his hand to help her out. Once she was on her feet, he pointed to a building at the center of campus. “There,” he said in a deep and rumbling voice, somehow reminding Byleth of the sea. “Can you find your way?”

Byleth nodded. Sure the paths were packed, but it should not be too hard to find her way to the large central building.

Indech made a soft noise of acknowledgement, the rumble of waves against the shore. He then pointed again, this time across the street from the campus building. There was a shopping center, but Indech seemed to specifically be indicating a...well, Byleth was not sure what a Bergliez Smoothie was. “I will be there if you need me.”

When she nodded again, Indech ducked back into the car. Byleth watched him pull back into the traffic flow of the parking lot before turning back to the central building. Right. This would not be hard at all. She just had to get there, and then ask someone where Flayn was.

Of course, as disinterested as she had been in TV programming, once she was actually out and about in society, everything was fascinating. Byleth found herself wandering, letting the conversations about topics she could not even begin to understand wash over her. There was something about it all that made her feel at ease. Being here felt right.

It was only much later that she realized she had lost sight of the building Indech had pointed out. She couldn’t even retrace her steps, as she had not been paying attention to where she’d come from in the first place.

/

“But it’s ridiculous! How hard is it really to find chantilly lace!”

“But isn’t that stuff really expensive?” Annette interjected when Hilda paused to breathe. “It’s made by hand, right?”

But Hilda had stopped midstep. Marianne nearly ran into her back, scrambling at the last minute to rebalance her book on the integration of Fódlan and Almyran culture before it could hit the ground. “Hilda?”

Hilda jerked her head toward whatever had caught her attention. Marianne followed her gaze, and felt a similar jolt of shock. “Oh my!”

“Poor thing, she looks lost.” Marianne was glad Mercedes had interpreted their shock as something else entirely. “We should help her.”

Mercedes’ words seemed to spark something inside Hilda, and she quickly outpaced the other three women. “Hey!” Hilda shouted, gaining the woman’s attention. “You lost?”

Marianne hurried up to met Hilda, coming up alongside the woman. Her mint green hair was long and braided. Her eyes did not hold the fierce determination that came with battle. No, now they were confused, and slightly grateful as the group came to her aid. 

But there was no denying it. Before them stood Claude’s goddess.

The goddess nodded. “I was trying to find my uncle and cousin, but I got distracted and lost my way,” she admitted.

“What are their names? Perhaps we know them,” Mercedes said, her pleasant voice causing the woman to relax somewhat.

“Seteth and Flayn.”

Marianne saw her own shock mirrored on the faces of her friends. “Well, Seteth’s office is in the Cathedral Tower, but he usually doesn’t spend much time there,” Marianne said after a second.

“Flayn is usually running around all over campus as well,” Annette added. “But she does eventually always seem to end up at Gateway.”

“I mean, the easiest thing to do would be to text one of them and see where they are,” Hilda said. “You didn’t lose your phone too, did you?”

The goddess shook her head, pulling the device from her pocket. “No, but it’s not working anymore.”

She did not protest when Hilda took the phone from her hand, giving it a quick study. “I just think it’s dead. Don’t you have a charger?”

Marianne could tell Hilda was trying her best to maintain a pleasant demeanour, but the woman’s appearance had thrown her, and their conversation was only raising her suspicions. 

“I-um...no,” the woman admitted. “They didn’t explain that part to me.” She looked between all of them, worry in her eyes at their own shock. “I...I’ve been in a hospital for a very long time,” she said slowly. If Marianne had a less trusting nature, she would say the woman was repeating a line someone had told her. “I was in an accident as a child.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” Mercedes clasped her hands in front of herself, pity replacing her earlier shock. “Well, we’ll be certain to show you around. Annie is right, Flayn usually does show up at Gateway, so if we take you there we’ll be sure to find her eventually!”

“Yeah!” Annette agreed, offering the woman a warm smile. “I’m Annette, by the way.”

“Mercedes.” Mercedes offered her hand, and after a moment of hesitation the woman mimicked her gesture. “But you can call me Mercie if you want.”

“I’m Hilda. And that’s Marianne.” Marianne was grateful when Hilda introduced her. She always found introductions a bit difficult and awkward. “And,” Hilda continued, “while I don’t have a charger that’ll fit this phone, I know Claude is at Gateway right now and he always carries his. I’m pretty sure it’s the one we need for yours.”

“Thank you.” The woman nodded, a soft smile on her face. “Oh, and I’m Byleth.”

Marianne felt a sudden sense of deja vu. She could not remember where she had heard the name before, but it sounded so familiar. Which was odd, as it was such a strange name to begin with. Perhaps in one of her history books. There were so many legends in Fódlan’s past it would not surprise her if Byleth was named after one of them.

“All right, Byleth!” Hilda hooked one arm around Byleth’s and began to drag her toward the campus cafe. “Let’s go find Claude!” 

/

“Monica, are you listening?”

“Hmm? Oh no. Sorry, I must have spaced out there for a moment.” Kronya only took her eyes away from the group of young women to look at her phone, swiping through the pictures she had just taken to make sure she had at least one good one of that dreadful woman’s face. “Actually, I just remembered an appointment I’m supposed to be at soon. I’ll see you all later.”

She ignored the protests as she stood to leave, pushing past students without giving a second thought to the curses they threw at her back. No, none of that mattered, not anymore.

The goddess’ little vessel, that terrible Fell Star, was awake once more. After so many years they could finally get their revenge on her. 

“Thales is going to be so pleased with me!” she practically sang to herself. 

One touch to the screen and the message was sent.

[nigeiadigitalmarketingcompany]

2:00PM Water Cooler 8/6/2019

Digital Elixir 2:00PM Water Cooler 8/6/2019

By Lambert Strether of Corrente

Patient readers, this is a wildly out-of-whack Water Cooler that I will shortly rebalance. I needed to do a pantry clear-out on the Politics section, which I did not complete because I got a late start. I also need to add the material about the feral hogs (you’ll find out). I hope there’s enough to inspire in the mean time. –lambert

Politics

“But what is government itself, but the greatest of all reflections on human nature?” –James Madison, Federalist 51

“They had one weapon left and both knew it: treachery.” –Frank Herbert, Dune

“2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination” [RealClearPolitics] (average of five polls). As of August 1: Biden fluctuates to 32.2% (32.0), Sanders up to 16.5% (16.4%), Warren down at 14.0% (14.8%), Buttigieg flat at 5.5% (5.6%), Harris down at 10.3% (11.0%), Beto separating himself from the bottom feeders, interestingly. others Brownian motion. If these trends continue in the next release, Sanders will the only winner of both debates.

* * *

2020

Gabbard (D)(2): “Inside the Tulsi Hive” [The Baffler]. “It is true that the Democratic Party is depressingly thin on marginally palpable foreign policy positions, and that, with the DNC’s blackballing of Mike Gravel, she will likely be the most anti-war candidate on display this evening. But despite her Nation byline and experience as a Bernie surrogate, Gabbard’s is not a foreign policy of the left.” • Which is fair; The American Conservative is sound on intervention. This is not an article Gabbard supporters will like.

Sanders (D)(1):

"I am proud and honored to endorse Senator Bernie Sanders for the presidency of the United States." pic.twitter.com/Y7uf8ebbhD

— Mike Gravel (@MikeGravel) August 6, 2019

Sanders (D)(2):

.@BernieSanders "Ohhh they've got skee ball. I love skee ball!" pic.twitter.com/e13XMS0Asr

— Bryan Lawrence

(@BreatheNewWinds) August 5, 2019

Surely coincidence, but I did call for a bit more “joy” from the Sanders and Warren campaigns just the other day.

Trump (R)(1): “Trump Outperformed His Popularity in 2016. That Might Not Happen in 2020” [Ed Kilgore, New York Magazine]. “Again, the X factor in comparing Trump’s likely vote in 2016 and in 2020 is incumbency, which we tend to think of as an asset even when it’s not. If there is any incumbency advantage, it’s likely baked right into Trump’s approval ratings. As Kondik points out, the relationship between presidential approval and reelection-year vote share is strong. Among presidents winning reelection, Obama exceeded his election-eve approval rating by one point in 2012 (as did Reagan in 1984), and George W. Bush exceeded his by two points in 2004. The only recent president who exceeded his approval ratings in vote share by more than two points was Poppy Bush in 1992, and he got beaten like a drum. It’s worth thinking about this, too: For all the talk about Trump’s boffo economy, overall public assessments of the direction of the country remain sour…. An unpopular president leading an unhappy country could still get reelected, but the widespread, 2016-based belief that Trump is on some clear trajectory to a second term is mostly superstition… An unpopular president leading an unhappy country could still get reelected, but the widespread, 2016-based belief that Trump is on some clear trajectory to a second term is mostly superstition.”

Warren (D)(1): “Warren faces lingering concerns about her ability to beat Trump” [The Hill]. “One strategist who is neutral in the race argued that part of the problem comes down to the one possible mistake Warren made ahead of the race: her decision to take a DNA test after President Trump repeatedly mocked her for her claim that she was Native American. ‘Everyone remembers how she played right into his hands,’ the strategist said. ‘I think a lot of people look at the moment and say she can’t go up against Trump because she’s not electable even if she is a damn good candidate.’” • One thing about Sanders: You can be confident Trump will never get inside his head.

* * *

“Here Are The Democratic Presidential Candidates With The Most Donations From Billionaires” [Forbes]. “As of the last filing deadline with the Federal Election Commission on July 15th, 67 billionaires — including spouses and members of billionaire families — had donated to the 20 Democratic candidates that debated in Detroit last week.” • Here are the rankings:

#1 Pete Buttigieg: 23 billionaire donors #2 Cory Booker: 18 billionaire donors #3 Kamala Harris: 17 billionaire donors #4 Michael Bennet: 15 billionaire donors #5 Joe Biden: 13 billionaire donors #6 John Hickenlooper: 11 billionaire donors #7 Beto O’Rourke: 9 billionaire donors #8 Amy Klobuchar: 8 billionaire donors #9 Jay Inslee: 5 billionaire donors #10 Kirsten Gillibrand: 4 billionaire donors #11 John Delaney: 3 billionaire donors #12 Elizabeth Warren and Steve Bullock: 2 billionaire donors each #13 Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Yang, and Marianne Williamson: 1 billionaire donor each #14 Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro, Bill De Blasio, and Tim Ryan: 0 billionaire donors

El Paso Shooting

Readers, I’m still hung up on a post on the El Paso shootings. My basic idea is to conceive of the country as a sort of cracking tower, with Patrick Crusius, the shooter, as a highly refined product from the very top of the distillation column. (Most of us proles are mere crude, at the bottom.) The various levels of our cracking tower would be, from highest to lowest:

5 Priming and Triggering 4 Mobilization 3 Ideology 2 Ascriptive identity 1 Political economy

I’m thinking of this structure (model) partly just to have buckets to throw the mass of material into, and partly to have a way to sort out where policy intervention should take place. But I’m not sure if I’ve got all the levels I need. Gun purchase might fit under mobilization, for example, if we think of the purchase as logistics. Video games might go under ideology, if we think of ideology as lived experience. Ineffectual Democrat efforts would go under mobilization. Trump’s speeches might (arguably) go either under ideology or priming. I’d welcome comments — ok, help — from readers on this structure.

* * *

“String of gun deaths reshapes Democratic primary” [Politico]. “The tragedies have the potential to change the dynamics in the broader campaign for the White House, as President Donald Trump and his supporters reeled from comparisons of their rhetoric about immigrants with that of a manifesto suspected of being from the shooter in El Paso, a border city with a mostly Latino population.” • I’m not sure I’m up to the task of putting on my yellow waders and reading the manifesto, but I think Politico is right that the manifesto is important; it distinguishes the El Paso shooter from the Dayton shooter.

Blooper #1: Trump gets Dayton mixed up with Toledo:

Holy Toledo, it wasn’t even on the TelePrompTer. pic.twitter.com/vviFo7vqMw

— Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) August 5, 2019

Blooper #2: “Confused Joe Biden condemns shootings in ‘Houston’ and ‘Michigan’ when the deadly massacres actually happened in El Paso and Ohio” [Daily Mail].

Our Famously Free Press

WaPo is up to their usual tricks:

I’ve complained about ⁦@washingtonpost⁩ #bernieblackout before – but this example is totally infuriating. This story includes this bizarre quote, “The only candidate who has completely shunned wealthy donors at private fundraisers is Warren. REALLY?! https://t.co/Itg09SDMhS

— James J. Zogby (@jjz1600) August 5, 2019

The Debates

Yes, this is what the debates were like. Click the graphic to expand:

Somebody needs to produce this immediately. Make this into a @Netflix series and I will binge every single episode. pic.twitter.com/SVAn0dnpQo

— Bryan Lawrence

(@BreatheNewWinds) August 4, 2019

The networks really shouldn’t be doing the debates. It degrades democracy to treat the process like a wrestling match, and my baseline for degradation is pretty low.

Realignment and Legitimacy

Liberal Democrats:

This arrow by mathematician and sculptor Kokichi Sugihara can't point left. Here's how it works: It's 3D-printed with a bunch of curves our brains don't register. pic.twitter.com/Xa32GrI7ii

— Khai (@ThamKhaiMeng) August 4, 2019

“Diversity Dustup Renews Call For Democrats’ Campaign Arm To End Consultant Blacklist” [HuffPo]. “Our Revolution, the Progressive Change Campaign Committee and the Harvard College Democrats argue that the [DCCC policy blacklisting consultants and firms that work for candidates challenging House Democrats in primaries] makes it harder for women and people of color to win seats in Congress…. Maria Langholz, a spokeswoman for the Progressive Change Campaign Committee, argued that gender and racial diversity often go hand-in-hand with advocacy of more progressive policies.” • Like with Obama, whose black skin enabled a direct readout of his progressivism, as is well known.

“Swing State Dems Could Pay Price for DGA Chief Raimondo’s Ethics Woes” [Inside Sources]. “Today, Gov. Raimondo is embroiled in controversy over a secret, no-bid, billion-dollar gaming contract; the Rhode Island GOP has filed a formal complaint against her with the state’s Ethics Commission; and polls show she has the highest disapproval rating of any Democratic governor in America. Raimondo’s first term as governor was dogged by questions over a lack of transparency regarding questionable fundraising and allegations of “pay-to-play” scandals, but she rode the 2018 anti-Trump “blue wave” to re-election. That’s not necessarily a surprise to people familiar with Rhode Island’s tradition of embracing ethically-elastic politicians. What is surprising is the decision of her fellow state executives to make Raimondo chair of the Democratic Governor’s Association (DGA) and, as a result, bring her controversies from Rhode Island to Washington.”

“Voters, groups, parties, and elections” [Lane Kenworthy]. “While the two parties have been evenly matched in national elections in recent decades, a number of indicators suggest looming difficulties for the Republicans: demographic trends, the rise of postmaterialism and accompanying decline of cultural conservatism, and the progressivism and Democratic voting of younger cohorts. Backlash against growing racial diversity and immigration will help the Republicans, but California’s experience over the past generation suggests it may do so only temporarily.” • A lengthy but interesting wrap-up, concluding, as yo see, with support for the “coalition of the ascendant” thesis.

“Who Should Secure Congressional Campaigns?” [Idle Words]. “[W]hat I mean by campaign security: protecting the online lives of people on and around a campaign from intrusion, with a special emphasis on their personal email and social media accounts. I emphasize the personal part because many campaign security efforts start by declaring personal data out of scope, and then solve the easier problem of protecting what’s left. This is like putting a lock on your glove compartment to deter car theft.”

* * *

DSA Convention on fascism. Thread:

Today at @DSAcon2019, there was vigorous debate over Resolution #9 to establish a national antifascist working group. Dissent and debate is always good, but this is an issue of great importance to me, so I tried to do something I rarely do: publicly argue against the resolution.

— Leonard Pierce (@leonardpierce) August 4, 2019

“The democratic socialist revolution comes to a crossroads” [NBC]. “On the night Donald Trump won the presidency in 2016, the Democratic Socialists of America had about 8,000 dues-paying members. By the time the group opened its 2017 convention the next summer, its ranks had grown threefold. This past weekend, when delegates from around the country gathered here in Georgia, the number was more than double that — DSA is now home to 56,000 mostly young activists, making it the largest socialist organization in the country. More remarkable than its growth, though, is DSA’s increasing presence on the electoral stage. Nearly 100 democratic socialists now hold office at almost all levels of government, from local school boards to the US Congress, where freshman Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Michigan’s Rashida Tlaib are at the front line of the fight over the Democratic Party’s future — and independent Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, though not directly affiliated with the group, is mounting his second campaign for the party’s presidential nomination.” • DSA coverage still seems reasonably objective, I can’t think why, especially with RussiaGate.

News of the Wired

“From a wrongful arrest to a life-saving romance: the typos that have changed people’s lives” [Guardian]. “Much later, years later, he would learn that a single-digit typo had tied his computer, via its IP address, to someone else’s crime. But that first Saturday, waiting in a cell, Lang knew none of this.” • And much, much more. No doubt the same will happen with facial recognition.

* * *

Readers, feel free to contact me at lambert [UNDERSCORE] strether [DOT] corrente [AT] yahoo [DOT] com, with (a) links, and even better (b) sources I should curate regularly, (c) how to send me a check if you are allergic to PayPal, and (d) to find out how to send me images of plants. Vegetables are fine! Fungi are deemed to be honorary plants! If you want your handle to appear as a credit, please place it at the start of your mail in parentheses: (thus). Otherwise, I will anonymize by using your initials. See the previous Water Cooler (with plant) here. Today’s plant (JN):

A bit late, I guess, for blossoms against the sky, but the color goes nicely with the bonus (Marku52):

Yesterday, I posted Re Silc’s lovely mobile and asked if other readers would care to submit photos of similar projects. Marku52 responded immediately, writing: “Here’s mine. I take an image off the internet, print on transparency, blow it up using a garage sale overhead projector. Outline the image on thin steel with pentel, then cut out with a plasma cutter. A lot of grinding to clean up, weld on accessories, then paint.” Neat! Reader, how about you?

* * *

Readers: Water Cooler is a standalone entity not covered by the annual NC fundraiser. So do feel free to make a contribution today or any day. Here is why: Regular positive feedback both makes me feel good and lets me know I’m on the right track with coverage. When I get no donations for five or ten days I get worried. More tangibly, a constant trickle of donations helps me with expenses, and I factor in that trickle when setting fundraising goals:

Here is the screen that will appear, which I have helpfully annotated.

Readers, thank you very much. The mix of one-time contributions to smaller, monthly subscriptions is now more like what is was, and hence the total I budget for is back to normal as well. Remember, a tip jar is for tipping! So if you see a link you especially like, or an item you wouldn’t see anywhere else, please do not hesitate to express your appreciation in tangible form…

If you hate PayPal, you can email me at lambert [UNDERSCORE] strether [DOT] corrente [AT] yahoo [DOT] com, and I will give you directions on how to send a check. Thank you!

2:00PM Water Cooler 8/6/2019

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[scottbert]

D&D 3.5 Rebalance

Months ago, I fell out of love with Pathfinder as my fantasy RPG of choice. It still has a wealth of wonderful options for players, but I can’t stand taking the time needed to create an encounter’s worth of foes in it, let alone an entire campaign’s.

So I’ve started working on a collection of houserules and guidelines with goals threefold:

1. Make enemy creation easier (Still need to figure this out)

2. Translate some of 5E’s elegance in combat and spellcasting to 3.5/PF ✓ (needs playtesting)

3. Rebalance the math to eliminate the need for mandatory magic items with plusses to everything (This also simplifies NPC and PC creation since you don’t need to figure out what plus gear you can afford); While I’m at it, trying to incorporate Bounded Accuracy because I like the idea that characters shouldn’t be limited to using the skills they’ve maxed and I like the idea that easier monsters can still be a threat in groups / harder monsters can be taken down with clever tactics. ✓ (needs playtesting)

Even I thought it sounded ridiculous and impossible at first. I actually dabbled a bit with the idea (mainly #2, that seemed manageable on its own, although I didn’t complete even that much then) months ago. However, it’s coming together surprisingly well (although it very much still needs playtesting.)

Here’s a rule I’m particularly proud of (for goal #2); I include two other houserules copied from D&D and Pathfinder’s designers for context:

Magic Rating: Multiclass characters' caster level is +1 for every level of full or ⅔ caster, +½ for every level of ½ caster, and +¼ for all other levels.This should add up to the same level for all classes in 3.5; If a Pathfinder ½-caster is involved, their caster level for their other classes is as above, but their caster level for ½-casting classes counts their ½-casting levels in full, -3.

Limited Magic: Most spells of 3rd level and higher no longer automatically scale damage by CL -- they treat damage as if cast at the minimum CL for their spell slot. You can cast them from (or prepare them in) a higher level slot, raising the damage as appropriate.

So here’s where I had an idea I haven’t seen anyone else do in 3.5/PF:

A multiclass caster may either track spell slots separately for all their spellcasting classes or:     Pick one of their character classes as their primary casting class. If they do this, they have only one set of spell slots -- the same set that a single-classed member of their primary casting class would have at their caster level. While their spells known are tracked separately for all casting classes, their spells per day are shared; spell slots of a level higher than any spell they can cast are used for lower level spells (possibly with metamagic.) If they mixed prepared and spontaneous casters, then they can only prepare spells they know as a prepared caster, and any slots left open may be used to cast any spell they know as a spontaneous caster (or filled by subsequent preparation.)

Pretty neat, huh?

I think it can also be extended to mixed magic/psionics, although I’m less sure how well this will work out:

Multiclass caster/manifesters are a strange case indeed. This rule needs checking, but the following may work: They may add casting/manifesting together to determine both CL and ML, and may designate one class as the primary casting class or the primary manifesting class; a given character can have only one or the other.    If they picked a primary casting class, they have no class power points (but may still have some from race, pool, and cognizance crystals). As part of manifesting a power or transferring PP, they may convert a level X spell slot into (X*2-1) PP; these power points must be transferred or spent this action and cannot be saved.    If they picked a primary manifesting class, they have no spell slots. As part of casting or preparing a spell, they can convert (X*2-1) PP into a level X slot. (With level 3+ spells, an even number of PP may be spent for one more die of damage.)    If such a character casts mental pinnacle, they lose access to their powers known while the spell is in effect.

[mysterycommand]

Intro to Game Design: Week 1

So I signed up for this program at Pratt: the Certificate Course in Indie (Mobile) Game Design. Part of that program is an Intro to Game Design course, and we met for the first time last week. Our first class exercise (after introductions and whatnot) was to design a game in just 10 minutes.

There’s only two students in the class (I think, unless a bunch of people just didn’t show up), so Edyta “the Maker” Lewicka (a.k.a. @angulosity) and I teamed up to tackle this challenge.

We had a whiteboard, some dry erase markers, a bunch of blocks to use for markers, and 6 ninja figurines. The first thing I did was to start by drawing a grid. I said, “I hope by the time I’m done drawing this grid, I’ll know what to do next”. Once we had the grid (completely arbitrarily a 13 x 9 grid btw), we set up some ninjas on either end of the board, and scattered some blocks in between … thus was born our core game mechanic, get one of your ninjas into the other team’s “base” while also protecting your own base.

A player moves a ninja by rolling two dice. In our first iteration you could use the result of the two dice to move one ninja at a time. The first time someone rolled a 12 we realized that you could basically win the game with one lucky roll and there was nothing your opponent could to about it, so we reworked something over several iterations.

Initial rules

In our first pass at the game, the rules were simple:

3 vs 3 ninjas

Green blocks (each player gets 6) are impassable

Red blocks (each player gets 4) cost an extra point to pass over

The game is broken up into 2 “phases”. Phase 1 is “setting up defenses” (e.g. laying out your blocks), and phase 2 is actually playing through, taking turns, rolling dice, moving ninjas.

We also had a concept of a ninja becoming captured. If a ninja found him-or-herself on a square adjoined by two squares occupied by enemy ninjas, that ninja was said to be captured. In our initial construction, captured meant that that ninja was stuck on that square until the both enemy ninjas left their watchful posts. We tweaked this rule quite a bit as we went along.

Iteration

After playing through our first game it was obvious that it was too easy to win (via a single lucky die roll) so we tried to make it harder:

More blocks, 9 each of red (+1 to pass) and green (impassable) … but also with the rule that no row of green blocks could be 3 squares “in a row” to prevent “the perfect defense” of just one solid impassable wall.

No diagonal moves (too easy to side-step obstacles).

The value of the two dice were distributed amongst all three ninjas, and a player could move up to 3 ninjas per turn (enabling a “strength in numbers” strategy).

These revisions all seemed to work more or less for the better, but we ran in to trouble when two groups of ninjas met on the battlefield. If two ninjas from each team are standing on adjacent squares, who was captured? So more tweaks:

Ninjas can stand on red blocks. Previously, it cost 3 movement to go up and over a red wall, but it also cost 3 to just go around. This rule made it so it cost 2 movement to enter a red-block-square, but the ninja could stop there if they wanted.

A single ninja entering a space occupied by an enemy ninja captured that ninja, and captured ninjas are immediately sent back to their respective base (no more trying to figure out which ninjas are surrounding which in complex team vs team scenarios).

With these changes in place we had an exciting and pretty well paced game, but also one that would pretty much never end. One player would make it all the way to capture distance from an enemy base only to be sent back to their home base. The other player would then advance and the same thing would play out on the other side. Waves back and forth. Endless war.

At this point we were probably 20 minutes over class time and just playing and having fun. We had a couple of ideas to try and rebalance the game so that someone could win, but we didn’t actually try them out so who knows how close to done we really were. Anyway, maybe the next round we could:

Require players to spend all movement points every turn (making the enemy base more of an “exact number” requirement).

Requiring an exact on movement points to capture an enemy ninja. We didn’t exactly nail down what this meant. Candidates were either requiring a ninja to hop around an enemy to get to the exact total number of movement points (ninja moves), or freezing the capturing ninja for the rest of the turn.

Finally

In the end we came up with a pretty fun game with some potential to explore. With just a few simple game pieces, a grid and some dice we were able to invent a game that mostly worked in a very short amount of time. While we didn’t exactly come up with any amazingly innovative mechanics, it’s fun, and the potential for exploration is definitely there.

… but what should we call it? A couple of name ideas:

Ninchess, Chess-Fu, any other dumb pun about ninjas and chess.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Chess? Maybe we can add a ninja to each team, make them all turtles, and conjure up some Bizarro World storyline that would justify there being two adversarial teams of TMNTs … and just like that this can be a merchandising/branding opportunity!

Capture the Flag - The Board Game! The game is an awful lot like traditional capture the flag except that there’s no flag to bring back to your own base. Maybe we add that?

Captain America: Civil War … okay, another merchandizing opportunity, but maybe this one combines well with a capture the flag mechanic where each team starts out with one of the other team’s members and your job is to free them and get back to base. Maybe each character has a unique in-game ability to reflect their powers in the comics/movies.

Anyway, that’s what we did last week. It’s a fun class and I’m excited to see what we do in future classes! I’ll keep you posted whether you’re interested or not. :D

[auburnfamilynews]

I laughed. What else could I do?

No, Anders Carlson missing a potential game-icing field goal with 1:14 to play against Ole Miss isn’t something I’d have found funny at any other point in my Auburn football-watching life. But the Tigers had outgained the Rebels 502-to-232 at that point. They’d entered Ole Miss territory 10 times, while Ole Miss had entered Auburn territory only twice. Auburn had not given up a touchdown directly from either a special teams play or an offensive turnover; in fact, they’d only turned the ball over once. And for all of that, after Carlson’s miss, they were one Rebel drive from losing, one defensive breakdown from maybe the most disappointing loss of Gus Malzahn’s seven seasons as head coach.

So: on paper, a good-to-very good performance. On paper, a comfortable victory that offers optimism for more good home showings against the Amen Corner teams. On paper, an enjoyable viewing experience. In practice, teeth-gnashing frustration to the point of bitter laughter, because of course.

Because this is Malzahn’s Tigers tenure in one tidy 60-minute package. On paper, an Auburn program is plenty strong enough and plenty accomplished enough to keep any reasonable fan satisfied. In practice, even the reasonable fans can be excused if they’ve reached a point of frustrated exhaustion.

I hope they can be, anyway, since I reached that point in the wake of the game in Baton Rouge. As a fellow Cars-loving football-obsessed Southern Christian nerd, no Auburn coach of my lifetime has connected with me on a personal level more than Gus Malzahn. I’ve defended him on this site again and again and again, repeatedly during my SEC Country gig, on Twitter more times than I could possibly count. The determination of so, so many Auburn fans to irrationally dismiss his successes and cling to his failures has been a years-long disappointment.

But even my admiration and patience can do so much in the face of a drive chart like this:

13 possessions beginning in Auburn territory, 9 of them ending in a punt after 4 plays or fewer. 3 of them ending in LSU territory, none in a touchdown. 2 of them lasting longer than 5 plays, one of those ending in a punt from Auburn’s half of the field. All while an Auburn defense holds the same offense that shredded Alabama for 46 points in Bryant-Denny to 23 on its own field.

On paper, losing by 3 on the road at an all-but-certain playoff team is a-OK. In practice, I’m so tired of trying to talk myself into that paper that when Carlson’s missed field goal balls it up and throws it in the trash yet again, there’s nothing left to do but laugh.

—————————————————

In a piece now lost to SEC Country’s demise and the Internet ether, I argued before the 2017 Auburn-Georgia meeting that Malzahn was about to coach the biggest game of his Tigers career. 2013 was four years in the rearview, and despite some impressive performances in the interim, after blowing shoulda-coulda-woulda wins at UGA in 2016 and LSU in 2017, Gus needed to prove that he could still win a game that mattered — like, mattered-mattered — to Auburn fans. He whipped the Dawg crap out of Georgia, then destroyed Alabama for good measure. The evidence at the time seemed plain: give Gus both a competent quarterback and a competent defense, and his ceiling was still as high as it seemed in 2013.

The evidence 1.75 seasons later seems far murkier. Gus enjoyed both a competent quarterback and a far-more-than-competent defense last season, and it didn’t matter. Whether Bo Nix qualifies as competent or not might rest in the eye of the beholder, but surely we can agree he’s not Jeremy Johnson or 2015 Sean White, and at Florida and LSU that didn’t matter either.

So here we are, in November 2019, asking again if a Gus Malzahn team can win the games Auburn fans need him to win. It might not be fair to ask, given that his current Tigers have already beaten a potential Pac-12 champion-slash-playoff contender on a neutral field, are one of the 10 best teams in the country according to the best power ranking systems we have, and (Ole Miss flukishness aside) have continued to dispatch lesser SEC foes with aplomb. What more can you logically want? I ask myself.

The answer is that I want to feel giddy after an Auburn football victory again. I want to feel delighted. I want to wake up on Sunday morning still grinning about what happened the previous day. I want to sit back, exhale, and feel the buzzing in my bones I only get after Auburn has done something wondrous, something momentous. That hasn’t happened since 2017, and that Amen Corner remains the only time it’s happened since Tre Mason ran over Missouri.

That might be my problem. Perhaps the Oregon win — and Washington win before it — should have qualified. Perhaps beating LSU in 2014 or 2016 should have. Perhaps torching Bret “Bert” Bielema’s 2016 Arkansas or this year’s Mississippi State to flecks of campfire ash should have. But those teams aren’t good enough to provoke the emotional reaction I want. The LSU teams Gus defeated weren’t believed to be that great at the time, either. And as thrilling, reassuring, and resume-building as the victories over the Huskies and Ducks have been, there’s only so much weight a season-opener against a Pac-12 opponent can carry.

“Gus can’t beat good teams” is malarkey. “Gus’s record against Teams X, Y and Alabama is bad” is malarkey unless you’re also noting that his record against Alabama is better than anyone else’s in the SEC. Not acknowledging that Gus’s teams don’t lay season-wrecking Tuberville-style eggs*, don’t quit on him, don’t generate ugly off-field headlines, and do enjoy themselves enough that no less of a player than Derrick damn Brown would return for a senior season: definitely malarkey.

But it’s not malarkey to point out that Gus has gone a combined 4-9 against LSU and Georgia when many of those LSU and Georgia teams were Very Much Not All That Great and many of those games were Very Much Winnable. It’s not malarkey to say that going forward, those games likely won’t be any more winnable, either. It’s not malarkey to believe that if Gus can’t beat Georgia tomorrow or Alabama in a couple weeks, he’ll have put together one unambiguously good season in his last six.

After 2017, I’d have told you that yes, Gus remains the coach who gave us the CoxCat and the 2016 loss in Athens and a half-dozen other defeats whose pain and frustration go well beyond a notch on the bad side of the win-loss column. But I’d have also told you that as long as he could deploy a non-Jeremy Johnson quarterback, he’d repay that frustration with electrice, cathartic victory.

In 2019, the hair-pulling defeats are still here. As of yet, the soul-restoring victories are not. If Gus can’t rebalance that equation over the next month, it will only be fair to ask when/if he can.

——————————————

So roughly 24 hours from the Georgia game kicking off, it feels like we’re on a big outdoor train platform, Gus and myself. There’s long whistles in the distance, plumes of smoke. The trains are coming into the station.

This first one, its destination is one Amen Corner win or a couple of dignified, non-infuriating losses, followed by Gus’s unveiling as the new head coach at Arkansas. Who could blame him if he boards? His offensive line next season is one bad roll of the JUCO dice from disaster. No defense, not even this one, can lose the likes of Brown and Marlon Davidson without noticing. Nix can only improve so much. Rather than wait a year to get the boot, why not just go home while you can?

A second train huffs and puffs its way alongside the platform. I like it less. It will take Gus to a toothless repeat of the LSU game against the Dawgs, some unfortunate unfiltered comments from veteran defensive players afterward, and a decisive, demoralized defeat against Alabama. Auburn’s incensed boosters go through their couch cushions and pay the buyout.

The third train pulling into the station is my favorite. Passengers will have the pleasure of riding to a place much like 2017: a win over playoff hopeful Georgia, a win over playoff hopeful Alabama, a 10-2 record, a New Year’s Six bowl berth and good feelings all around. Those feelings will only last for so long — with next years roster and schedule, there’s a good chance this train brings us right back to this platform in two years’ time, just as 2017 didn’t keep us from it two years ago — but putting the final nail in both the Dawgs’ and Tide’s playoff coffins means no one cares (or should).

I don’t know which train Gus will board. I don’t know what happens after he does. If he does take a one-way trip away from Auburn, I don’t know if the Tigers will be able to replace him with anyone better. My hunch is that they cannot. But after the first 9 games of this season, I will not blame them if they try.

Here’s what I do know: something is about to happen. Auburn cannot wait on this platform forever, watching our rivals head off to exotic locales while it sips coffee and goes a homebody’s 8-4. Gus Malzahn has to choose his destination. I will carry his bags. I will give him a hug. I will wish him the absolute best, and mean every kind word.

But I also must ask him to decide where his program is going. I’m hoping it’s headed straight to victory over Georgia, and on to victory over Alabama. If not, we’ll deal with going other places, too. Like the last patron at the bar, like the late-night passenger who’s missed the final train, what matters is that Auburn can’t stay here.

*Well, the “get obliterated at home against Darren McFadden’s Arkansas or Andrew Zow’s Alabama” kind of egg-laying. Malzahn’s is more an exclusively “oops, our offense gained one first down in a half in a game we lost by less than a touchdown” kind of egg-laying.

Photo via @AUGoldMine

from The War Eagle Reader https://www.thewareaglereader.com/2019/11/gus-malzahn-and-the-whistles-of-the-trains/

[thefanficmonster]

Hey can you do rebal d fic with one of his recent videos where both of them reaction. Andrew tate video maybe.

Ps : I don't like that guy

I love all the requests I get for Rebal, he's super underappreciated and I'm here to fix that 😤 Thank you so much for the request hun, hope you enjoy 💕

PS: Yeah, I don't like that guy either (the phrasing puts it mildly 😡)

Pairing: Rebal D x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Andrew Tate mentioned (as well as mentions of the dumb shit he's said), Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Comfort Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

You know the popular trope 'Calm tol and angry smol'?

Yeah, you and Rebal are literally it

Many fans have pointed it out which has led your boyfriend to the realization that it's great for content

And for his own personal entertainment

Man can't lie - he finds you adorable when you're pissed off

Also your presence would help to keep him calm while the two of you witness the most infuriating behavior coming straight from the biggest misogynist walking the Earth

He's a calm person in general, taking the time to dig right into the core of the issue of all the incorrect and offensive shit Andrew Tate spews out and point out that no person in the world should listen to him let alone practice his gospel

Now imagine how difficult that is for him while also holding you back from trying to smash your way through the screen to strangle the asshole

In your defense, you were invited to join him for the video with zero context as to what the two of you would be doing

You had no time to prepare yourself or even go as far as to meditate

So one can't exactly blame you for wishing nothing more than to END that caveman mf

"Babe, calm down, that's not how you'll get to him!"

"Oh I'll fucking find him. Words will be exchanged!"

"Nice save. Censored it right on time before YouTube could strike us."

"I'm gonna fucking strike HIM!"

"Ok....guess not"

But then again, if you're a ticking bomb of anger;

He's the diffuser

"Wanna get calm-down ice cream afterwards?"

"Yes please, my blood pressure is through the roof"

[lewisgour]

Alone in the dark,

as if it matters.

Well i have to do some self correcting here.

about the whole dark matter thingy, which i would more accurately call the galactic centric effect [GCE]

While 'Dark Matter' by centuries of evidence is still nonsense,

if the interior of the stars were bending in a higher dimension [in the way a black does to space] then there would be more space on the inside of the Sun which would distribute the interia/angular-momentum over more space, meaning it would rotate more slowly.

[going to ignore for now the fact that in that dimensional/direction time slows down]

since the interior rotation of the Sun is faster than its surface one can only conclude that there is less rotational space than at the Sun's surface.

like a spinning ice skater goes faster when they reduce their radius the radius on the interior of the Sun is actually shorter than the exterior radius.

Pretty bizarre, no?

the Sun's interior would be 'flatter'/'shallower' [from all directions] than its exterior. [opposite of Dr. Who's tardis ;P]

i want to throw in a qualifier here,

i would feel more secure with a faster interior rotation if it has been interpolated from multiple data points & not calculated from a single instantaneous speed datapoint [as in calculus]. a single datapoint measure might mask other things going on instead.

in any event,

to determine if the interior of the Sun is smaller than its exterior extent would indicate, one would need to create or find some kind of ping wave and see if it got from one side of the Sun to the other through its center in a shorter time than would be expected.

What i will guess if the above is basically correct is that this deficit of space some how is trying to rebalance itself with the infinite space of a/the black hole. as if some fluid underlayment of space is trying to even itself out.

[odd thought: does that mean the interior of the Sun/stars is an actual vacuum? unlike empty space which is flat. or at least a vacuum relative to 3 dimensional space?]

the interior of the Sun & stars are pulling their exteriors towards the massive black holes at galactic centers.

would the infinite space of a black hole be likewise drawn towards [all of these] spatial deficits? don't know.

Would be interesting to see what goes on with stars in the vicinity of some mid-sized or small black hole. if there is some action/draw towards them that surpasses gravitational expectations alone.

a deficit of space does also fit well with fusion occuring, because fusion [in a very simple way] is the extraction of space from between two atomic nuclei.

pressure is also the lessening of space for some quantity of vector energy/energies. i wonder if solar interior pressure is any greater than expected? (Matterial/Volume)

again, while the macroscopic lensing effect of galaxies & galactic groups is [in all likelihood] actual spatial curvature, it comes cummulatively from the presure exerted by the interiors of the stars towards 'local' blackholes, not mis-hypothesized 'dark matter'.

[hoping i might be among the first to come up with this idea. ego? me? hrrumph. what a ridiculosityamentism that would be! remember you read it here first, maybe. It is certainly a weird idea to think about.]

droning on,

several researchers have found an annual cycle variation of radioactive decay. i am pretty sure this is a single eccentricity & not a dual eccentricity that might only reflect the elliptic shape of the Earth's orbit of the Sun.

My guess it reflects the alignment/configuration of the Earth, Sun & Sagittarius A [galactic center] for a single annual eccentricity.

clearly this slight variation has to be due to astronomical positioning in either case.

That tells me there is a lack of understanding about varying space characteristics & its effect on atomic nuclei.

People who claim to be scientists are like the rest of us, we all want some anchor of absolute certainty & simplicity, a kind of religious replacement, but actual science requires that we float in free-fall surrounded by noise & confusion & try to piece things together to our best abilities from there. We are always sketching what input comes to us.

the presumtion of absolute certainty given only a local temporal & spatial parallax begs hubris.

i on the other hand NEVER beg hubris! ;D

the presumption of a closed system without supplying evidence is unscientific. [the tax collecter of Louis the 14th actually supplied data, indicating a closed system in terms of matter.]

While i think E=MC^2 is approximately correct, i have a hard time believing in an absolutely closed system.

While the general continuity of the universe indicates incredible efficiency, i doubt it is absolute.

The only time one can conclude with absolute certainty, is when all the data is in, which will only be at the end of time, which may never occur, or never occur absolutely.

Science is always operating on partial data, & at most a couple of centuries against a good guess of at least tens of billions of years, is wow, not much to go on.

wrestling sock into mouth here & now. -> X [still thrashing rabidly]

[salas00banke-blog]

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[miraculousphantom-blog]

Sample Outline For Huckleberry Finn Essay

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[i-dont-care-i-wanna-be-a-ba-blog]

Cars :: The Planet Is Difficult On Luxury Automobiles. Fight Back With This!

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[thefanficmonster]

Hi thanks for answering my question!

Can you write a headcanon for rebal d with a fem reader that really likes playing video games

Also i recently started reading your posts and I really like you writing style

Hi dear! That's adorable and I hope you enjoy the hope you enjoy the headcanons 💕 And thank you so much! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my fics 🥰

Pairing: Rebal D x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: see request above

Rebal has always taken notice of how much you love playing video games

You've tried to hook him on it too but he's simply not good at them

Regardless, he loves indulging in them and giving you an opportunity to roast the hell out of him in the process

Sometime you even let him win, giving him weak bragging rights but so be it

It makes you very happy to see his eyes light up

Just like it makes him happy when you gush to him about a new game that just came out or one you recently bought

Which gave him the perfect idea for a gift for your anniversary

A blank, freshly opened YouTube channel

"Now you can share that love with millions of people" he'd said, snapping you out of your mild confusion

He barely had time to put down the laptop in order to catch you in his embrace

And that's how the two of you indulged in YouTube careers together

As well as finally making your relationship public when you had Rebal as a guest on your channel