#reaye rambles

[reayerambles]

Doodle of Oscar and Andre from Rose of Versailles, inspired by a lot of the fan art bc of the film coming out.

Trying to capture the dreamy quality of artworks I’ve liked lately, like Atomoon’s sketches…but I fear that I don’t have their sensibilities.

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Ayanami Rei. I have conflicted feelings towards Ayanami Rei. Truthfully, her image is what got teen me interested in Neon Genesis Evangelion...her image was so captivating to me. In the series, she's such an enigma, a very ghost like character, and one can't really stop thinking, "Who is she?! WHAT is she?!? WTF is going on." On the other hand, it's kinda hard to ignore how easily and often she gets fetishized so I get a bit uncomfortable abt her. If the concept that Anno put part of his personality into each of the OG characters is true, I do find how we meet Rei verrrrrry interesting, considering how wounded she is. I do like the changes made to her in Rebuild, that I've seen in 1.11/2.22, bc she kinda feels like a mirror to Shinji. The image of her in bandages fascinate me bc she's in tatters, but she's nonchalant abt it, kinda feels like how sometimes we could be so hurt inside but life goes on, slap a band aid on our hurt and hope it doesn't burst.

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what do you think Lucy and Lockwood would wear for Halloween? Thinking of doodling a last min Halloween locklyle.

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Ikari Shinji.

finally started the Rebuild series and I quite like it so far. There is something abt Shinji’s anger as he tries to get back Rei that felt very justifiable, very right, I felt it in my core. I often feel anger towards the adults, or the world, I guess, when I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion series, so seeing Shinji rebel, be angry, bc he cared for someone, it felt good. He really felt like a beacon of hope in that moment, while in the NGE series, I just felt so much pity for him. Anyway, I liked his expression even though I don’t think I captured it.

also wanted to continue to figure out how to create a dreamlike quality

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Really liked the line “you may not recall but last time we said good bye, you cried your eyes out. This time I would like to say good bye with a smile“ from the jdrama Gakeppuchi Hotel (Hotel on the Brink!)

Also tried to use the brushes I made as much a possible, still ended up reverting to old ones I’m more comfortable with.

I also really like the b&w version as well.

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Really want to make this the year I take learning abt art more seriously

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I often see ppl complain abt how certain media wasn’t targeted or presented "correctly" , and while I think it’s ok to be critical of media, at a certain point, I think that’s what fanfiction and fan art is for? To reimagine a media to your taste?

like, that’s a big reason why I age up most of the characters when I draw them? I like to imagine them grown up. That’s why I draw them in certain styles. That’s me playing with the media.

it’s kinda frustrating to the point I’m annoyed to see ppl complain abt the media they consume all the time. Like ok, well, the show and movie is already out, there’s really nothing you can do but create your own fantasy.

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for a character that loves fashion and clothes, the show sure doesn’t give Marinette a sense of style

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I follow a comic cover artist who draws women who exudes so much confidence and sexiness and I’m always inspired to draw sexy things when I see their art but the characters I’m kinda obsessed with these days are…..a bit young…and I don’t particularly want to draw them in that way.

I could age them up to an age I’m more comfortable drawing them as sexy characters….

or I could draw my OCs again. I don’t know

im thinking of doing swordtember.

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Oh.....so I'm starting to see soft core on here, and I'm like what are the rules here.

Because I would like to soft core too,

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I WANT TO DRAWWWWWWWWWW

that's it.

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on my free time I’ve been reading books & essays and watching videos on illustration history and aesthetics philosophy and I don’t know if I’ve ever been this focused on academic written/spoken words even in school.

I realize this might reveal more abt my lack of interest in what I studied in school, but also,like, I was a child.

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an illustrator on the bird site reached out to her followers to recommend illustration history resources for me, and it was like Christmas for me.

anyway, gonna work on becoming an illustration nerd, rookie level, aspiring to be competent nerd level.

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The “one art to convince ppl to follow you” trend

Tbh I don’t really have a problem posting art bc I’m an only child who had a mom who tore up my art work. I’m excited to show ppl my art bc I seek attention other than destruction. But I also get easily annoyed by ppl and/or hate my own work, so I just as easily destroy/take down my work.

so when I say “I don’t have any art to convince ppl to follow me,” it is really a statement on how my art does not have permanence and how I don’t really care abt what followers want to see bc I post whatever I want. I can not convince ppl to follow me with subjects I draw, nor can I convince ppl with the style bc those things will change bc I am fickle. If you follow me, I will drag you with me on my art journey and my hyperfixations, and there’s really no one artwork that will describe that. There will be shitty art days and okay art days. Whatever the account, I generally display a mostly positive and honest approach to art. I don’t openly show disdain towards my own work. I’m just not yet at a place where I can confidently be like “this is my voice” nor do I have an artwork that is like “this represents my voice.” My art right now is just fleeting thoughts and that’s ok.

the assumption that ppl think Im worried abt internet popularity is really annoying. If I did worry abt growing internet popularity, I wouldn’t destroy my accounts so often💀

truly kudos to ppl who recognize my work thru my various twitter account iterations.

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I was going to collect all the doodles I did during the KeepWillow campaign and send them as Willow fan mail to Lucas Film but:

"Lucasfilm does not accept unsolicited submissions of any kind which may contain any product, ARTWORK,..." And I've been wondering if a collection of fanart is a bad idea as fanmail :'(

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Hear me out. What if I rebrand my willow drawings like a manga and call them the “ Donguri Korori (Acorn Adventures)” and give each character a Japanese equivalent of their names?

Willow=Yanagi-jii

Elora = Hina

Kit = Kito

Jade = Hisui

Graydon = Kairi

Boorman = Harui