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storiesoflilies · 5 months

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metanoia

synopsis: (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life. Or alternatively, the story of two souls who bond over drinking green tea. w.c: 17k (oops)

pairing: college!toji fushiguro x f!reader (noncurse!AU)

warnings: bucketloads of fluff and sprinkle of angst. descriptions of past bullying (toji didn’t have a nice childhood) SMUT, so minors please do not interact! nipple stimulation, p in v sex (it’s all rather romantic i must say), unprotected sex (these college students need to stop being so horny). a lovely little slow burn romance for the soul. swearing.

a/n: based on this request, and it’s finally here nonie!! a piece of my heart has been woven into this piece, so i hope everyone enjoys! to all my fellow STEM students, this one’s also for you <3 toji art by @/kakashismain, dividers by @/benkeibear. spotify playlist. ao3.

there was nothing else to do or say about fate, other than it was fixed. no matter how hard you might try to change it, she never believed it could be.

life was a series of scrawling numbers and greek letters, written by the hands of angels and god. it was never going to a straight line; rather, it was a scattered mess of ever-changing parabolas, dipping and rising above the axis like surfers on the waves of the sea.

but sometimes, just sometimes, you can hear what has been written about you. if she tuned into things really hard, and listened beyond the banal noises that came with the plane of existence all humans exist in, she could hear it. the scratching of a pen on paper, or perhaps a feather quill on a scroll? yes, that sounded more like it. she could hear the angels solving the puzzle they had been given to balance the equation of her life. things must be solved in a certain series of formulas to become a proven, tangible equation. the angels were still trying to prove her life, it seems, and it was quite simply astounding that they were still working so hard and figuring it out.

but the irrational part of her couldn’t help but think, what if they were bored? she could certainly understand; there were many times when she’d been made to solve trivial questions, such as calculating the speed of an aircraft, and she’d wished she could be anywhere but there in that moment. did the angels think that about her equation? would they ever get bored and just give up on her?

with that, the cold, beautiful reality that is life becomes apparent. none of it was personal, and she had to live it right up until the equation was balanced and the last drop of ink ran dry.

it was golden hour. that time of the day when the sun’s light softened, casting long shadows of buildings and trees across the pavement. warm honey rays filtered in through the window, refracting through the clear plastic display that showcased the traybakes of the day. the cafe was quiet now, just after the hustle and bustle of regular work hours. most of the patrons were university students, drawn to the cafe for its convenient location near the main campus, where they downed their coffees like it was a drug to be taken multiple times a day.

she couldn’t judge them; she was included in that typical student caliber too, but instead of drinking her weight in murky brown caffeine, she preferred it to be of the green kind. more specifically, a cup of green tea took her brainpower much farther than its more popular, teeth-staining counterpart. and the perks of working for the very same cafe?

every cup of it was free and unlimited use for her; something she took advantage of every single shift.

the job couldn’t be more perfect for her. although her shifts were daily, they were always scheduled during these quiet golden hours that extended into the stretch of moonlight, accommodating her university hours. choosing to study a degree in physics was certainly no joke, and she was grateful for any spare moment of peace to work on her assignments and reports. her manager never minded, leaving her to riddle away at her numbers, which went straight over their head, trusting her to still serve any customers coming in and close up the shop.

it was absolutely fine. a simple, predictable routine – an equation she was perfectly happy to solve every single day.

until it wasn’t so easy.

| Φ |

some time later that night, well after the sun had dipped below the horizon and the moon had finally peeked out from behind dusty grey clouds, the delicate bell above the doorway tinkled. it snapped her straight out of her trance, where she had been listening to the music of mathematical constants singing to her of defined, set values from the sheet of paper leaning against the wooden clipboard of ‘speciality beverages’.

it was him.

toji fushiguro.

the dark haired boy she had seen around campus, although he probably hadn’t noticed her flitting about between lectures; unusually quiet and unfairly attractive. the boy who obviously frequented the gym close by, and came here to her little cafe afterwards. that much was obvious from the way the wet strands of hair stuck to his forehead, the spicy smell of whatever body wash he used, and the all black attire he always wore. the very same same boy who she’d curiously asked about, only to be told that he kept to himself and didn’t really speak to anybody.

and she believed it. she had never seen him walking with anybody else, or even bringing anyone along to his daily study sessions at the cafe. the way he grimaced at loud, boisterous students, typical of their age group, told her enough. that toji fushiguro didn’t seem to like people very much, and was perfectly happy with not being liked in return.

“hello,” she meekly piped out, her voice barely above a squeak, because toji was quite an intimating figure. “what would you like?”

it was a silly question. she knew he would order his usual – green tea, just like her. but it was a question she asked regardless, just in case his routine equation had somehow changed. you never know, after all. perhaps the angels had miscalculated or wrote down a wrong number.

“green tea, please,” he grunted, not quite meeting her eyes. he then sauntered off to his usual table by the window, and began pulling out his study material from his canvas bag.

she was grateful for the simplicity; there was nothing worse than preparing an elaborate order in the quiet of the night and disturbing the peace. brewing green tea was something she knew like the back of her hand, easy and peaceful like breathing. she strained the herbs as she poured it into a delicate ceramic cup, which the cafe insisted on serving it in, and brought it over to him.

toji muttered a small thank you, and she politely smiled, even though he never once looked at her. walking back to her spot behind the counter, she placed the clipboard on her crossed legs, and resumed her musings. such was their routine, both of them in their respective worlds within the same plane that was the cafe, sipping their green tea and whittling away at their education.

she almost felt honored that of all the cafes open late into the night, this was the one he picked to come to. even if the bitter, realistic part of her insisted that it was only because it was conveniently close to the gym. still, their equations followed the exact same sequence of numbers at that time every day, and she found that positively wonderful.

it was nearing 10:30p.m. when she finally finished solving her report, and she guessed that toji was completely engrossed in whatever he was working on to not notice the time. he would have normally packed up his things by now, ordering one more cup of tea before heading off wherever it was he went to in the dead of night. probably back to his accommodation, because he just didn’t seem like the type to show up to late-night parties full of booze and sweat.

she didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. the logical part of her brain was overthinking everything because this just wasn’t the norm for them. toji was supposed to have packed his things, leave just the exact amount of money on the counter, and walk out without another word. she was considering not even saying anything at all, biding her time until he simply realized himself and walked out.

until her legs moved of their seemingly own accord, perhaps a result of the numbers being messily rubbed away and rewritten, straight towards him. he never even heard her; his black wired earbuds were firmly in his ears, and she wondered what sort of music it was that toji fushiguro listened to. she quickly tapped his shoulder, withdrawing her hand back to her side as quickly as she could. toji almost jumped out of his skin as he turned to acknowledge her.

“sorry,” she apologized, looking pointedly over at the clock on the wall above him. “but we’re closing soon.”

toji frowned, as if he didn’t really believe her, until he glanced at the digital clock on his laptop and jumped into action. “sorry,” he said rather awkwardly, hurriedly packing up his things as she stood at a respectful distance away.

“it’s no problem at all. please, take your time,” she replied as politely and delicately as she possibly could, looking away as he messily scraped his papers and notebooks into his bag.

his chair scraped uncomfortably across the floor, and he heaved his bag over his shoulder as he shoved a hand into his pocket, fishing for the exact change he needed. for a second, she thought, hoped, that he would hand it to her. but no, he almost jogged over to the counter and placed it right next to the black mug of green tea beside her clipboard.

toji paused, momentarily staring at her mug. she felt a flush of embarrassment, as if even he knew she wasn’t supposed to be drinking it out of a large mug. but he said nothing and rushed outside.

everything fell back into place, as according to the laws of the world, and seemed right again.

| Φ |

there was something inherently uncomfortable about contemplating the future.

as summer rapidly approached, with only about four months left of the semester, she found herself forced to confront equations she didn’t want to solve. it was during the night, when she should have been fast asleep, that she really tried to listen in on the angels scribbling away at her numbers. it was cheating really, an easy way out to hear the answers of what she was supposed to do. perhaps if the end of her final year wasn’t so dreadfully final, then it would have been easier to formulate her own answers.

well, they weren’t really her own, but anyway.

she was in her own little bubble tonight, absentmindedly sipping her tea and tapping her pen against the clipboard. she knew the answer to the problem at hand, some menial question about what angle a beam of light would reflect at, and so she could afford to daydream and listen to the music of the numbers singing in her head.

it was quite easy to imagine a picture being painted from the numbers. why bother calculating the angle when you could visualize the light bending instead? that was what mattered in the end, not just the face value of the number itself, but the tangible reality they represented. there was no point in scribbling away at the numbers if you couldn’t paint a picture in your mind of the light itself or feel the thumping of sound waves reverberating through the surrounding medium.

there was only her and toji in the cafe now. he’d breezed past her earlier on the way in straight to his seat, dumping his bag on the table with the air of a student who was beyond fed up with their lot. she knew what it looked like; she’d seen it too many times throughout the years and had been through that position herself.

she tried not to make it obvious she was looking at him, or admiring the way his arms moved in the tight compression shirt he wore, the way his wet hair was slightly slicked back today, and the way his annoyance sparked a beautiful flame of green in his eyes.

he looked over at her, and she quickly looked away.

dammit.

she heard his footsteps approaching her, but her embarrassment forced her not to look at him. instead, she focused heavily on pretending to be stuck on the paper in front of her.

“hey, uh, can i get a green tea, please?” he asked, his voice deep and undeniably addictive.

“yes, of course!” she replied swiftly, putting on her best customer service voice to shield her embarrassment as best as she possibly could.

toji shifted his feet from side to side, his hands in his pockets, and mumbled, “could i possibly have it in a mug, or something? it’s just… the teacups are really small.”

a deviation in the curve, an unexpected variable. she answered anyway, perhaps a little unsurely, “oh, sure, yeah. no problem at all. is this one fine?” she lifted her mug awkwardly off the table, and toji looked at it and nodded.

“yeah, that would be great. is it, uh, more expensive?” he asked, and the way he asked it made her heart ache, as if he was ashamed of having to in the first place.

she waved her hand at him, playing it off like a silly unnecessary question. “oh no, not at all. don’t worry about it.”

toji seemed visibly gladdened at this, the tension in his face releasing as his eyes brightened. he stood there, swinging on the balls of his feet, and she was quite surprised he was waiting for her to finish brewing the tea instead of bringing it over to him. she had to steady the slight tremor in her hand as he watched her brew the tea with practiced precision. after what seemed like an eternity, she placed the mug on a small plate and carefully handed it to him.

“thanks,” he said quietly, his eyes fixated on the mug and the thin wisps of steam wafting from it. then, like an afterthought that was actually painfully thought out, he added, “appreciate it.”

she could have sworn the corner of his lip lifted, and she almost lost her footing as she sat back down on her stool. though she knew it was impossible, it seemed as if time had been stuck in that moment, the laws of physics crying out for some sense of normalcy to resume.

and so she cleared her throat, pulling free time from where its coat was stuck on the doorknob. “no worries. let me know if you need anything else.”

but he was already walking back to his seat, firmly slotting back the numbers and variables into the places they were supposed to be.

newton’s first law of motion states that an object at rest or uniform motion will continue to stay that way unless acted upon by a net external force.

or the law of inertia, as it was also called, and she much preferred that instead. it was what she thought of every time she saw toji making his way to the door of the cafe from the window, taking large, purposeful strides like he knew where he always wanted to go at all times. he was that object in uniform motion, his life seemingly constant without any real deviations. she thought of it every time he walked out of the door too, and wondered if there would ever be anything significant enough to achieve a large enough force to change his trajectory.

so what large enough force had been applied to make him finally ask for a change to how he drank his tea? maybe he had never considered it before, never realized there was any other option other than the abysmally tiny teacup he had used before. perhaps the fact that he had stopped and seen her mug the night before had opened up new possibilities for him. whatever it was, it didn’t really matter, because he looked so much more at ease now that he wasn’t hanging on for dear life to a teacup too small for those hands of his.

those big, attractive hands, with good, strong veins running through them.

toji looked up at her from behind his laptop.

the tip-taps of her pen became just a notch louder, and she bit her lip, almost crossing her eyes as she focused a little too hard into the hole of the letter ‘a’ in the word ‘angle’.

dammit.

| Φ |

it was march, and the cherry blossoms that grew around campus were now blossoming in full swing.

what little free time she had between university work, endless laboratory reports, and working at the cafe, was spent walking around the town and parks. while hearing the songs of physics and numbers was her way of life, sometimes it was nice to wind down and appreciate the beauty of biology and chemistry. to see how the rain that fell from the skies was soaked up by the weed flowers thriving in the cracks of the pavement. they were tiny little warriors, persevering in the face of the hundreds of people who surely walked this path, avoiding death by being crushed.

the air was cool, and it was late enough in the day to make it feel much cooler than it should have been. she rubbed her arms through her jacket and picked up the pace. it was a week break in the semester, and it was much busier than it should have been for that time of the day. her manager had offered her more hours to work during the break, and she had mistakenly accepted the offer instead of taking some time for herself to do what she liked.

she entered the cafe, the little bell chiming, and smiled at her colleague, who seemed rather grateful that they weren’t alone to deal with the swarm of students enjoying a relaxing coffee. it was rather different from the anxious energy that usually accompanied students in here, but it was a welcome change to see unburdened smiles before the exam season hit them all in full merciless force.

together, they took on the onslaught of orders from all the customers walking into their quaint little cafe in the middle of campus. she couldn’t remember the last time she’d made such complex teas, brewing flavor combinations she couldn’t even concoct in her wildest dreams. by the end of the rush, with her colleague having finished their shift, she was left in a frazzled state of tea stains and sticky sugary syrup.

and that is precisely when toji fushiguro decided to walk through the door.

she almost froze, a mixture of shock and embarrassment washing over like a bucket of ice-cold water. why, she’d never seen him in the cafe while the sun was still in the sky, and he wasn’t even dressed in his usual fitness attire either. instead, it was a black jumper and jeans. this was most certainly not part of the equation at all; she had never even considered to calculate the probability of such an event occurring.

“hey,” he greeted, as casual as the jeans he was wearing, while fidgeting with the hem of his jumper.

“hi,” she answered, dusting off some imaginary dust from her apron because she didn’t know what else to do with her hands. “the usual?”

toji seemed somewhat surprised at this. “yeah, please.”

she couldn’t lie; it was such a welcome relief to make something so simple amidst the chaos that was the ever-changing trends of beverages. had the universe written an additional formula just to provide her with just a moment’s respite? or was it the law of attraction being employed?

no, that was surely wishful thinking. there was no way that toji fushiguro had anything in common with her.

“are you sitting in or taking away?” she prompted, the extra words slipping through her lips.

he thought about it for a second before nodding his head, “uh, yeah, takeaway please.”

“no problem,” she replied smoothly, amazed at how well she was deviating from their usual interactions, and poured the tea into a disposable cup. “there you go.”

toji mumbled a ‘thank you’ as he carefully placed the coins on the counter, his hands completely enveloping what she would have once considered a large cup.

what compelled her to say the following words, she didn’t really know, but she called out in a hopefully not-so-loud voice as he turned to leave, “enjoy the blossoms!”

just why? why would you say that?

she was even more mortified when toji simply walked out the door without sparing her a second glance. the universe was cruel for adding that into the equation, and she could have sworn, to add further insult to injury, that two girls had watched their exchange and were snickering.

enjoy the blossoms? stupid, stupid, stupid!

| Φ |

for the rest of the day, she felt as if the second law of thermodynamics very much applied to her.

as she recounted her absolutely horrific exchange with toji, she felt the heat of the universe pressing down on her isolated being, causing her atoms inside of her to bounce of the walls that was her skin, sending her into a more and more disorganized chaotic state of existence. she actually hoped for once that the deviance of the otherwise constant line would continue to do so, and that toji wouldn’t come to the cafe later on that night. then she could resume solving the equation as it was meant to be solved for the next night, and she could continue on as if nothing ever happened in the first place.

so when their routine did end up resuming its normalcy, and toji walked into the cafe with his dark wet hair and canvas bag, she was too mortified to even speak to him, despite him being the only customer in the shop. she got straight to work brewing him his tea, avoiding even looking anywhere near him as he set his things down at the table.

her lack of attention, for once, almost caused a head-on collision.

“hey, oh shit! sorry,” toji cussed, even though it was completely her fault, as he stopped whatever momentum he had in his body from crashing into her.

she hissed as the scalding tea splashed onto her fingers. “oh, no, i’m sorry! are you alright?”

“yeah, don’t worry about it.”

with a wobbly, quivering lip, she went around him and placed his mug on the table, being careful to avoid placing the wet bottom anywhere near his papers. it was there she caught a glimpse of some messily scrawled-out calculations on a piece of scratch paper, and her brain immediately started to sing.

no, don’t stare. it’s rude.

“sorry again,” she whispered, looking straight at the ground and being careful to not step in his way again.

toji never even made a sound, and she didn’t dare to look up to see if he was looking at her. she ran her finger under some cold water before taking her usual seat at the counter, and picked up where she left off on summarizing her lectures. it was perfectly quiet now, save for the scratching of her pen on paper and toji typing away on his keyboard. this was peaceful, easy, and– hold on. why could she hear the sound of the music?

“hey, sorry to interrupt,” toji interjected, making her jump. “do you have any sandwiches or something left?”

“oh! no, i’m sorry, what’s on display is what’s left,” she answered shakily, putting her pen down on the counter. “i, um- the protein balls are pretty decent, if you like that sort of thing.”

“oh, sure. yeah,” he murmured, looking at the several flavors that were available. “I’ll take the, uh, peanut flavor. that any good?”

she smiled softly, despite the throbbing sensation in her finger. “yeah, it’s not bad. you want two?” he nodded, and she wrapped them both up in a paper bag as he procured out coins from his pocket.

toji dug around some more, patting down his pockets to make sure there was definitely nothing lingering in there, and his stomach audibly growled. the air became a touch too awkward, and she stared at the sad-looking change on the counter. she slid the bag over to him with quiet understanding, and gave him the kindest smile she possibly could.

“hey, don’t worry about it. it’s on the house,” she encouraged. “sorry, i should have said that from the beginning.”

toji shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “oh no, i couldn’t do that. sorry, i’ll just leave it. i thought i had enough change.”

she pushed the bag further towards him. “it’s fine, i insist. please.”

he slowly took the bag, as if he wasn’t sure that it was real, or that it was maybe going to bite him. “thanks,” he said quietly, and retreated back to his seat, packing up his things, while she sat there trying to will her atoms back into their rightful place.

“thanks again,” toji rumbled softly as he held the door halfway open. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“o-oh yeah! yeah, see you tomorrow,” she stuttered back.

with that, he closed the door behind him, the bell tingling a beautiful farewell for him, and she was left with the atoms of her thumping heart completely dispersing into the atmosphere as she frantically tried to claw them back down.

| Φ |

tomorrow came and went, and they had settled into a slightly different flow of their routine, although the core essence remained the same.

instead of waiting for her to bring over his tea, toji now waited at the counter for her to hand him a large, steaming mug of his fix. they never spoke anymore than what they did before, but there was something that had changed between them. something so subtle that it couldn’t be defined properly, but she knew it was there, and she hoped toji knew it too.

it was april now, and the flurry of students cramming for their exams in may were in full swing. when she wasn’t at the cafe, she was holed up in her shared accommodation, buried underneath a blanket that may as well have been a black hole swallowing her whole. there, she studied for the last set of exams she would ever have to sit at university, but she tried not to dwell on that fact.

not that she didn’t study at the cafe, but toji’s presence added an extra dynamic that made it difficult to focus as well as when she was alone. despite her best efforts, she couldn’t help but constantly glance at him when she was confident he wasn’t looking. right now, she could tell he was silently stressing over his exams too. spending so long in silence with another person meant she could tell the slight quirks in his face that signalled a changed in trajectory of emotion.

currently, the deep frown lines etched in his forehead meant that he was monumentally stuck on something. he’d been like that ever since he powered up his laptop and stared at the screen, the dim light casting an artificial, cold glow on his face.

once again, she didn’t know what compelled her to do what she did next. maybe it was the fact she knew he had barely touched his tea, and it was surely cold by now. or maybe it was the desire to momentarily distract him from his frustration by bringing him a warm, fresh brew. whatever it was, her body was moving according some new formula the angels had applied, and she found herself simply walking over without saying anything and placing a piping hot mug next to his laptop.

“huh? oh, thanks,” toji said slowly, daze-like, as if he wasn’t sure she was real and doing this.

she smiled softly, quickly glancing at the scratch paper in front of him, and oh no – he wasn’t composing the music correctly at all.

“that isn’t the answer,” she stated simply, looking back up at him. he frowned again, momentarily confused, until she pointed at his paper and said, “you’ve calculated this wrong. that isn’t the right equation to use.”

toji looked back down at his paper, sighing softly, and rubbed his face as he seemed to sink deeper and deeper into his chair. she couldn’t understand it; there was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in getting a question wrong. she’d done it before herself many times, and more than likely would continue to do so.

“sorry, i-uh, i’m not very good at mathematics,” he mumbled shyly, and her heart started to crumble like a biscuit.

she pulled her pen out of her pocket and clicked it once. “no need to be sorry. do you want me to show you how to do it?”

toji nodded wordlessly, and slid the paper over to her, angling the laptop so she could see the question displayed. it was about calculating the speed of an athlete's arm as they threw a ball through the air, but he hadn’t used the correct equation, nor the correct standard units. she quickly wrote out every step of how to solve it, did a final check that her mental calculations were correct against his gray calculator, and slid the paper back to him.

“there, be careful with your units and don’t forget to include them. most of my professors have strict marking against not writing the proper ones, i don’t know about yours, but it might be better to be safe than sorry,” she explained, her throat tightening as he intently looked at her working out.

it felt personal on another sort of level, and strangely intimate.

he seemed to be taking his time studying it, with a slightly blank look, as if what she had done was still going well over his head. “yeah, good point. thank you,” was all he mustered, and he tilted his head at the scratch paper.

“do you want me to explain anything?” she prompted, half expecting him to pretend that he understood everything. that would have been typical of a student at university - faking it until they somehow made it.

so she was pleasantly surprised, but not at all unwilling to explain it when toji nodded again, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. she tried to recall how her teachers in high school had taught her these concepts, trying to adapt their tone of voice: patient and understanding. she leaned over to be more at eye level at him, trying to seem less intimidating, and their close proximity was sending her brain into overdrive.

“i hope this makes more sense now,” she said as she wrapped up the explanation.

toji’s lips formed a small ‘o’ shape, and the scar gracing them resembled the greek letter phi, but with the line running over to the right side instead of the middle. if she didn’t need anymore proof that the boy sitting in front of her was perfect, then the angels had just thrown in the winning factor.

phi, the perfect golden constant, now belonged in her mind only to toji fushiguro.

“uh, yeah actually,” he hummed, seemingly appreciative, his eyes sparkling against the dim lighting of the cafe. “thanks so much.”

she couldn’t help it, but she grinned widely. “no problem at all.”

she started to walk away, biting her lip when she turned her back to him, already feeling the bitter sting of disappointment that things would probably be back to normal after yet another deviation. until toji called out, “you’re really good at this. what do you study?”

“physics,” she replied, hoping the shock wasn’t too evident in her voice. “what about you?”

“P.E.,” he answered, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. she had to try very hard not to stare at how nice his biceps looked. “i stupidly decided to add a sports biomechanics module as my optional one. kinda regretting it now.”

toji chuckled halfheartedly, and she almost swooned, but opted to tilt her head to the side and say, “oh, but don’t you find it fascinating? it’s the numbers behind the real output of an athlete.”

“oh, well i never really thought about it that way.” he seemed to be genuinely pondering her outlook on the matter, staring hard at the numbers before him, and she felt the blood rising to her cheeks. toji looked back up at her and smiled a devastatingly handsome smile. “i suppose it makes sense for you to think like that.”

she didn’t really know how to reply to that except an, “i guess so,” and then added a polite follow-up of, “what sort of sport do you, then?”

“judo and jujutsu,” toji replied smoothly and completely casually. “i train at the gym before i come here.”

“oh yeah? that’s quite intense.”

“not so much if you enjoy it, really.”

“easy for you to say. you’re obviously in much better shape than the rest of us.”

she almost cringed externally at that.

obviously much better shape? why on earth would you say obviously, stupid?

but toji only chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “hard work, i guess.” he mumbled, staring back at his paper.

she glanced up at the time, noting that it was almost time to close. “well, I'm sorry, but you might have to practice it yourself at home.”

he looked panicked for a second, his eyes darting over to the clock. “oh, yeah. probably.” and started to slowly pack up his things.

she didn’t want to observe him anymore than she already had, so she busied herself by washing their mugs and quickly wiping down the counter for the morning shift, while toji was taking his time neatly packing away his things. was it wishful thinking that perhaps he was stalling. whether it was or wasn’t, she left him to it, switching off the lights everywhere except at the entrance. she swept her eyes over the cafe to make sure she hadn’t missed anything before heading out.

toji stood beside the door, his eyes flitting about anywhere but her, obviously waiting for her to finish locking up. she tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest and smiled awkwardly at him as he finally met her gaze. he shuffled outside before she did, hands in his pockets as he looked up at the nights sky, the silver moon shining between stringy wisps of clouds.

he looked like a scene straight from a movie – a movie where a beautiful boy was up against the weight of the world. she could see it all clearly now: his scuffed up trainers, canvas bag with dirt stains scraping the bottom of it, the hole in his shirt near the hem. and yet, she knew he had real strength, the quiet sort of kind, that would completely surprise anybody that decided to come at him.

she locked the door behind her, the keys jangling, disturbing the relative quiet of the street. the distant whooping of boisterous students, no doubt drinking and partying away their stress, could be heard a little ways off into the distance. the bright light of the 7-11 across the streets flickered, and she briefly considered buying some cheap dinner before heading home.

she cleared her throat and gave him a small smile. “well, good luck studying.”

toji breathed out a half-hearted laugh. “thanks, i’ll need it.”

“if you’re still having trouble with your calculations, you can always ask me tomorrow,” she reassured, feeling bold enough to assume that his equation would continue to equate to hers.

he seemed to hesitate, as if debating something within his head, and replied, “yeah, sure.” but his tone left much to be desired, and she was already kicking herself for being so direct. “sounds good.”

she bit her lip and mumbled a weak ‘goodnight’ before walking straight into the 7-11 to escape.

| Φ |

the next night in the cafe, after quite a long day of punching numbers into her calculator and her eyes swimming with all sorts of symbols, she was contemplating the sheer power of a supernova explosion. it was golden hour, and toji had arrived much earlier to study. his deviations from the norm weren't so jarring anymore, and she’d almost come to sort of expect them at this point. he’d actually met her eyes as she prepared his tea, and even offered her a smile and a ‘thank you’.

the time passed on quickly, and soon enough, it was just her, toji, and two other customers – fellow students – inhabiting the same area. it was around 9:17p.m., the usual time for it to be a sacred silence. so when four boys staggered through the door, the bell cried out aggressively from the force of them nearly ripping open the door, completely tearing her from whatever daydreams she had been lost in.

they were cruel, uncaring about her or the other patrons they were disturbing with their raised voices and boisterous behavior. she kept her cool, not letting their jeers and sly comments get to her as she prepared their orders, wanting to get them out of the cafe as soon as she possibly could. one of them was particular unnerving, staring at her more than the others did, a creepy smirk on his lips and dangerous glint in his eyes. he was like a black hole, and she felt as if she was about to be swallowed alive.

she felt like she couldn’t breath, as if her body didn’t remember the biomechanical process to allow her to expand her lungs and fill them with sweet air. were the angels in serious danger of their calculations becoming completely wrong? was her equation to become something twisted and tragic by the end of the night?

when the group left, the evil boy had glanced over his shoulder to give her one last indecipherable look before he took off at a run after his friends. she exhaled shakily, willing her body to remember how to breath, and decided to distract herself by cleaning any and all random nooks and crannies she could find in an effort to distract herself.

oh how she hated them those stupid, idiotic boys – and that their words and manners had such an impact on her.

she’d worked herself into such a state that she hadn’t even noticed toji standing awkwardly at the counter until she turned to sip at her ice-cold tea, and almost yelped in surprise.

“hey,” toji greeted gently, delicate raindrops against a pane of glass. “it’s eleven.”

and so it was as she noted the time on the clock. she wiped her brow and discarded the now completely blackened cleaning cloth into the rubbish. “sorry, i’ll just get the keys now. you head on.”

“no, it’s okay,” he hummed. “take your time. i’ll be outside.”

when she finally finished the usual locking-up routine, toji had resumed that vision of perfection from the previous night, and it was almost impossible to even consider, but he was even more dreamy than before. toji had to have been carved by michealangelo; born of marble and beauty, and forced to to live in this plane of existence. in some rural countryside of japan, at a public university campus, surrounded by bog-standard students trying to scrape through life.

she felt he didn’t really belong here, as if he was already slipping through her fingers, even though he never really was between them to begin with.

“see you tomorrow,” she said in farewell, giving him a small wave and already walking away.

the loud thuds against the pavement reverberated the immediate vicinity, and toji huffed as he caught up to her, “hey, uh, whereabouts do you live?”

“not too far, about a ten-minute walk away,” she replied, almost floored at the fact that he had just run after her. “why?”

“just… you ok if i tag along? i could use the company.”

“…sure?”

they walked side by side in silence, and her mind was going into complete overdrive. she was trying so hard not to be completely floored that somehow, on a random April night, toji fushiguro was walking her home. it was obvious that he was lying about company – perhaps not an outright lie, but it definitely wasn’t the whole truth. time seemed to have passed quicker than it should have, and before she knew it, they had arrived at her accommodation. toji seemed to hover, looking over his shoulder, his body seemingly tense.

“well, this is me,” she announced, jingling her keys for good measure. “huh, are you okay?”

toji was glaring into the darkness, into the twisted labyrinth of twists and turns in between buildings, only really half-listening. “yeah,” he replied tersely, his fists clenching. “you’re staying at home tonight, right?”

she nodded nervously, suddenly hyperaware of the deep, foreboding inkiness of the night. “mhm.”

he turned to her, verdant eyes simmering with something nearly as dark as the sky. “good, i’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“bye, toji.”

but he was already striding off into the labyrinth, off to face the dirt and coal thrown at him, when he himself was made of marble and gold.

| Φ |

a week after toji had walked her home, she had her first final exam, during which the whole time her thoughts were consumed by him.

of toji fushiguro.

toji and his eyes of forests and jade. of his sculpted body, and all the angles and lines that made up his face. his scar that made him golden and perfect, her phi. of how she had seen him on campus the next morning after he walked her home, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, split knuckles raw and red against the marble of his skin. how he’d finally noticed her outside the cafe for the first time and actually smiled at her.

her friends – more so acquaintances who had happened to become close simply because they were on the same course –had noticed the exchange. when toji had walked well out of earshot, they had bombarded her with hushed whisper-yells of excited “oh my god!" and "how did you even get him to smile? i’ve never even heard him speak.”

and she’d shrugged them off, fending off their curiosity with, “oh, he comes to the cafe all the time, that’s all.”

she didn’t want to get into all the details of toji and her. well, just toji really – there was no 'and her'. their time together was a coveted treasure, and she was strangely possessive over it.

that night, as she handed toji his tea, she plucked up the courage to ask, “what happened to your hands?”

toji automatically looked down at them, flexing them as if even mentioning them made them burn with pain. “oh, nothing, just went a bit too hard at training.” it didn’t occur to her not to believe him until she was staring blankly at the last question of her exam.

she thought of the evil boy in the cafe, of toji staring down into the darkness and looking over his shoulder as if demons were just behind them, and he was the only thing keeping them at bay. maybe he really was doing just that. maybe that’s why he had continued to walk her home every night, as their graphs continued to overlap even more closely together.

she came out of that exam feeling as if some sort of hidden revelation was waiting to be discovered, and by god, how much she loved to solve for a new equation.

toji was already waiting for her at the cafe when she arrived for her shift, an occurrence steadily getting earlier. he immediately took note of her coming in, and his eyes lit up. she smiled brightly at him, offering him two thumbs up, to which he grinned and pushed away his laptop before approached her.

“so, it went well then?” he prompted, the ghost of a smile still playing on his lips.

she poured them both two mugs of tea, and held hers out towards him. “yeah, it wasn’t too bad actually. cheers to that!”

toji chuckled and clinked his mug with hers, the both of them blowing on the tea before sipping it tentatively. he went back to his table, resuming whatever he had been doing, and leaving her to serve the customers. that was perhaps the only drawback of toji arriving earlier - that their time spent together was interrupted. but it also served as a tantalizing countdown to when it was just the two of them.

obviously, their dynamic had shifted dramatically in the past week, and they’d settled into an easy-flowing sequence – something that felt as if phi would be, so perfectly balanced and positively golden. toji seemed to want to unveil the mystery of his equation to her, but bit by bit, which she didn’t mind at all. she loved slowing figuring out the scale of his axes, plotting all his points together, and finally drawing the curve that connected them all.

toji fushiguro could only be described as steady, a mountain that would never bend or break, his roots so profoundly deep that she had to really dig to see them. he loved his body, but not in a superficial way, but more that it was something he was in control of and could continually improve. she discovered that he drank green tea not just because it was healthy, but because it was cheap. how most of his gym wear had varying sizes of holes, and he carried around a tiny sewing kit in his bag at all times because he sometimes only noticed one when he was out and about.

most importantly, today he had divulged what he wanted for his future.

“i want to get out of this hellhole as soon as i can,” toji had sighed exaggeratedly, stretching his neck backwards. whenever the last customer had left the cafe, he’d drag a chair over to the edge of the counter. not so directly in front of it that he was blocking any customers, but just enough so that they were sitting across from each other.

she rolled her eyes playfully at him, nibbling at the cap of her pen. “oh, how original. you and every other student in this university.”

“well yeah, obviously, but not as much as me,” he retorted.

“what make you so different, then?”

“i’ve always wanted to leave, even before i got here. i want to to go and live in tokyo.”

“tokyo, huh? and what do you wanna do there?”

“well, eventually i want to open my own dojo and teach jujitsu, but i’d probably have to start out as an instructor.”

“oh wow, you’ve got a solid sort of plan. have you always wanted to do that?”

“yeah, i really hate it here.”

and he’d gone quiet, but she didn’t press him. instead, she focused on her textbook because there were still exams to be studied for, and waited for toji to come back to her. where he went in those moments, she didn’t know. there was something lurking in the shadow of the mountain, and he still seemed to be fighting against it even now.

she knew he’d come back to her when he’d lean in closer, cheek against his palm, and try to make sense of whatever diagrams appeared on the pages she was reading.

“that looks cool,” toji murmured, pointing at whatever had piqued his interest. “what is it?”

and she discovered, not that it was a real shock, that toji was so very curious. he wanted to know things, he liked to know how things worked, and he was really clever. she would explain as best as she could, and toji would follow along diligently, nodding his head every so often and asking the occasional question. many people probably underestimated just how smart he really was, but she never did.

“this is a diagram that sort of shows what einstein’s theory of general relativity is all about.”

“ah right, it’s pretty famous then isn’t it? cuz it’s einstein's.”

“haha, i suppose so, yeah.”

“what’s it about?”

she bit her lip and tilted her head, placing her finger as a makeshift bookmark and closed the book between her fingers. “it’s about… how really big objects like planets and stars cause gravity by bending space-time.”

“Bending space-time is gravity?”

“It’s because the bigger object has caused smaller ones to be pulled closer to it, if that makes sense.”

toji nodded slowly and laughed. “it’s a bit over my head. how you perfectly understand it is beyond me though.”

“i wouldn’t say perfectly,” she replied bashfully. “but i think it’s a beautiful theory.”

“you think every theory is beautiful.”

“haha! no, well yes, but that’s besides the point!”

“well, what is the point?”

“that something has had such a profound impact, because it’s so big and larger than life that it’s impacting all the other small things around it and pulling them in closer to it.”

toji smiled, the kind of smile he had when he was more vulnerable and soft, when his barriers were down and forgotten about. the way he looked at her made her body jolt with thousands of little lightning bolts.

“yeah,” he mused thoughtfully. “yeah, that is kinda beautiful.”

| Φ |

five days.

that’s how long it had been since she’d seen toji, and she missed him more than she cared to admit, even to herself.

it wasn’t ideal, right smack in the middle of the exam season, to be so distracted by a boy, but toji fushiguro wasn’t just any boy. he was the boy who she spent every day with, and the past two weeks had been a rosy dream as they talked more and more. it was now the middle of may, and she was almost done with sitting all of her exams. she should have been thinking of her future, about a solid career plan, and where she wanted to live.

but no, all she could think of was the laws of physics and toji fushiguro, and counting down the days until she could see him again.

he was currently out on a placement excursion, teaching ten-year-old kids during their regular sports curriculum. it was almost comical, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself whenever she thought of toji surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed children. he’d already been groaning about it before he left, about this and that, and how much he didn’t like silly kids and their silly faces.

“what are you smiling about?” one of her friends whispered suspiciously, leaning in closer to her so as not to disturb anybody else in the library.

she shook her head, and told a little lie, “oh, just about how close we are to finishing uni. it’s sort of unbelievable.”

her friend raised a brow, clearly not believing her. “sure, and it doesn’t have anything to do with fushiguro?”

“ugh, why do you keep bringing him up all the time? i told you there’s nothing going on there.”

“i’ll believe that when i stop seeing you smiling like an idiot in love. now, c’mon and focus on this.”

love? no, no, it wasn’t love. not quite yet, at least, but she knew it was getting there. she felt a slight tremor in her chest, traveling all the way to the tips of her fingers and then the ends of her toes like an electric current across a wire. it was unfathomably scary to admit it, but it was nothing but the truth.

she was falling for toji fushiguro.

she ducked her head down, her pencil scratching against her notepad as she attempted yet another sample question, endeavouring to distract herself from all thoughts of him for the rest of the study session. as soon as she had to leave for the cafe, she practically shoved her things into her bag and almost ran towards it. toji should be back today, with it being friday and the school week coming to an end.

when she got there, her manager was behind the counter in the midst of serving a customer, and the cafe was reasonably busy. the overwhelming aroma of coffee wafted through her nose, warm and inviting, and familiar. she wondered if toji thought of her whenever he smelt coffee.

she certainly hoped that he did.

“great you’re here,” her manager beamed, handing her an apron to tie around her waist. “i was wondering if you would like to take some time off whenever you finish your exams? my nephew is coming to visit, and i’d like to put him to work instead of him lazing about all day.”

she was immediately hit with a sheer sense of panic. if she didn’t work, then how else was she supposed to see toji? it was so utterly embarrassing and pathetic, that she was so enamored with this boy that she was willing to work just to see him. but then she thought about what would happen after graduation, and how they realistically would not be seeing each other – perhaps ever again.

“sure, that’s alright with me,” is what she finally said after a moment's hesitation, but her manager surely picked up on her hesitant tone.

“never have i ever seen a student who didn’t want time off work,” they chuckled, hand on their hip. “this has got to do with that dark haired boy, doesn’t it?”

heat creeped up into her cheeks, and she busied herself with pouring a cup of coffee for a customer, as her manager gazed at her in bemusement. “no,” she squeaked out.

“oh to be young again,” they said in a sing-song voice. “don’t worry about not working though, i’m sure that boy would follow you anywhere you go. i’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

she didn’t quite know how to respond to that.

when the moon had risen high into the sky and the shop was empty, she waited and waited for toji. he was late, and he should have been there by now. or maybe he wouldn’t come? she thought it might have been quite bold to assume he would have tonight. he was probably tired from a whole week of teaching, and maybe he had decided to just go home and rest. she couldn’t blame him for that.

but that didn’t stop the soul-crushing disappointment from tearing her in two.

the sky must have felt her distress, because soon enough the pitter-patter of rain falling against the roof ensued. maybe metaphysical pain was real, and maybe she would spend her whole life trying to prove her theory. what a tragic future, she thought, and sniffled as she locked the door behind her.

and then she turned around, and toji was standing there, his chest heaving.

for a moment, they just faced each other. he was all wet, black hoodie all soggy and weighed down, sticking to him like a second skin. his green eyes were alight, looking at her with a mixture of nerves and something else she couldn’t place. toji exhaled shakily, his lashes fluttering as he blinked fast.

“sorry,” he mumbled. “i tried to get here sooner, but there was an accident and my train was delayed.”

her heart melted; she felt as if she was one with the rain puddles in the dips of the pavement, one with the water pooling beneath toji’s feat. could it be love already? maybe her loved ones, wiser and older than her would have said it was, but she felt too young to know it.

and yet, here was a boy standing in front of her, who had run through the rain and labyrinth of buildings to get here.

“oh, toji,” she gushed, instinctively opening up her umbrella and shielding him from the torrent of the sky. “you’ll get sick.”

she didn’t realize just how close they were together, trapped underneath the tiny space, until toji was staring down at her. a water droplet dropped from his hair, over the ridge of his nose, caressing over his cupids bow and parted lips, all the way down to his chin and onto her lip.

she shivered, feeling as if their lips may as well have touched.

“it doesn’t matter,” toji whispered, in that deep, almost sad tone that belonged only to him, and she finally admitted internally just how much she missed his voice. “it’s only water.”

they stood there staring at each other for a heartbeat too long, until she broke the silence with, “let’s get out of here.”

and then they set off at a slow, shuffling pace, the backs of their hands and shoulders brushing against each other, and she thought a live spark might just ignite off her skin. the rain sounded like little stones tumbling off the top of the umbrella, and the smell of the wet pavement served as little momentary distractions against the all-consuming feeling of toji beside her.

she didn’t want it to end, and so when they reached the entrance to her accommodation, and turned to face him. “you can’t go home like this. won’t you come inside and dry off?”

toji’s eyebrows shot up, and he almost looked like a deer in the headlights. he was fighting within himself; she could see it in the way his hand flexed, his knuckle touching hers. “i’ll just make your floor wet though,” he muttered, looking down at the ground.

“it doesn’t matter,” she urged, and added a desperate. “please.”

that seemed to snap him out of whatever internal deliberation he was having, and toji nodded. “okay then.”

she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, almost immediately turning towards the door to hide most of it from him, taking out the keys from her pocket and fumbled with one hand to grab the correct one for her door. his proximity behind her was beyond distracting, her back felt like the south side of a magnet, and toji was her north. it would be too easy to fall back into him, and so she endeavored to root her feet into the ground and resist the urge.

she finally opened it and they passed through the unwelcoming vibes of the main lobby, toji’s shoes squelching loudly with every step he took. the student behind the desk glancing uninterestedly up at them, and then sharply looked back up, staring with saucer eyes at toji in tow behind her.

she once again fought with her keys, the sound echoing throughout the empty corridor, and pushed open the door to her shared dorm. it was compact but efficient for two people to live comfortably together. her flatmate was curled up on the sofa with her boyfriend, shui, in the main living area, only lit up by whatever was on the tv.

“roomie!” her roommate called out, oblivious to toji’s presence. “how was studying today?”

“yeah, great,” she answered, glancing back at toji awkwardly standing by the door. “you?”

“all goo- oh! oh. hello there!” her roommate finally registered toji’s presence as the door clicked shut behind him, immediately jumping out of shiu’s arms, who also looked back over his shoulder in intrigue.

“hey,” toji mumbled, a puddle of water now collecting over the white tiles.

shiu waved his hand at toji, who flicked his chin upwards in acknowledgment. she immediately turned to her roommate, “hey, you think you have something from shui’s he could borrow?”

her roommate sprung into action, scrambling off the sofa. “yeah, yeah! sorry! i’ll be right back.”

toji remained where he was, stationary as a rock, his emerald orbs flicking every which way. she wondered what he was thinking, but she was too consumed by the monumental event that he was really standing there in her living room to dwell on it.

her roommate burst out of her room, smiling brightly as she handled a bundle of clothes to toji. “there you go! the bathroom’s just to the left there.”

he strode straight to the bathroom, his eyes meeting hers just before he closed the door.

“girl,” her roommate excitedly whispered, vigorously grabbing her forearms. “what the- what is going on? i didn’t know you and fushiguro were together.”

“we’re not together,” she rebuked, biting her lip. “we’re just… friends.”

her roommate scoffed, nearly bouncing up and down in glee. “shiu, you know this is the first time she’d brought a boy home.”

shiu hummed quietly, an unlit cigarette dangling between his lips. “that’s great, babe.”

her roommate scoffed, rolling her eyes at him, and her grip tightened just a fraction. “is he spending the night? oh my god, you both should stay and watch a movie with us.”

“oh, i don’t think he’ll stay…”

“girl, just go and get changed into something else, and i’ll talk to him when he comes out. you know people can’t say no to me.”

before she knew it, she was being pushed into her room, and the door was slammed behind her. she breathed out shakily, sliding against her wardrobe with her head in her hands. her heart was racing, and fuck fuck fuck, what the hell was she thinking bringing toji here?

she heard the bathroom door open, and the quiet baritone of toji’s voice mingled with her roommate's bubbly one. the words ‘pizza’ and ‘movie’ were mentioned, and she rushed to shimmy off her clothes and into her slightly better-looking loungewear, checking her hair was presentable enough. when she quietly opened her door, toji had his back towards her, wearing a black t-shirt that was a size too small and grey joggers that hugged his thick thighs.

he turned to face her, and the tense look on his face relaxed. her roommate piped up from the sofa, “hey! i was just saying that toji should stay and watch a movie with us while his clothes dry.”

she bit the inside of her cheek, and softly said to him, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

toji looked between her and her roommate, before replying with a low, “I’ll stay.”

her roommate clapped her hands together. “great! I’ll order the pizza.”

she walked over to the adjacent sofa to shiu, and hesitantly sat down on one edge of the sofa. toji followed and lowered himself onto the other empty side, leaving a space of everything and nothing between them. soon enough, her roommate returned and plonked herself right in between shiu’s spread legs, shuffling through the channels until she settled on a movie. the pizza arrived some time into the movie, and the four of them helped themselves. she couldn’t help but steal glances at toji, his face illuminated by the tv's glow as he brought a cheesy slice of pizza to his mouth, his expression blank and unreadable.

whatever way the angels must be solving her cosmic equation, they were obviously applying toji’s formula. their numbers were intertwining, creating a new constant, and she wondered what sort of symbol would represent the two of them.

toji met her gaze, and the corner of his lip curled upward.

after the movie had ended, her roommate had ushered a bemused shiu into her room and wiggled her fingers in an excited goodbye. “shh,” she’d giggled, while shiu rolled his eyes at her, tugging on the sleeve of her pyjama top. “don’t make too much noise, you two.”

and with that, she shut the door, leaving them alone.

together.

in her living room, on the same sofa.

“do you, uh, want to watch something else?” she murmured, her legs folded beneath her.

toji breathed out a quiet laugh. “please. i’m sorry, but that movie was actually so bad.”

she nearly snorted, clapping her hand over her mouth in an effort to contain her giggle. “yeah, it was pretty shit.”

the clock above the tv read 1:42 a.m., and she wondered if toji was tired. she assumed he would be after waking up so early to teach a bunch of energetic children. “you want some tea? i was just going to make some,” she asked, her ankles cracking as she rose from the sofa.

toji slapped his thighs, and steadily got up as well. “sure, but i should really get going soon. i don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“spend the night,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “none of us would mind, i promise.”

she then stupidly, pathetically even, held out her pinky towards him. toji frowned, clearly confused. “what are you doing?”

“a pinky promise.”

“oh right, yeah.”

he curled his pinky around hers, and a tiny electric shock sparked between them. she hissed and drew her hand back, but their eyes met, and they both erupted into a fit of hushed giggles, which only served to make them laugh harder.

“okay, you stick something on tv and i’ll make the tea,” she grinned, her bare feet softly padding on the floor as she went over to the kitchen.

as the kettle boiled, she watched toji flicking aimlessly through the channels, his face contorting when he came across something he didn’t like. he settled back onto the sofa, legs spread out as he reclined, mop of thick hair resting against the armrest. the shock of having him her in her home had faded now, and it felt almost natural for them to be around each other in this way. she brought over his mug filled with green tea, and he looked up at her gratefully as he took it from her. she sat down on the other sofa, stretching her legs out. toji’s eyes were slightly red, and he was yawning great big yawns, with the mug delicately balanced on his chest and one arm behind his head. the tv was on a low volume, and the she wanted to pause time, even just for a while.

“hey, just lemme know when you wanna sleep. you can sleep in my room,” she murmured, hands grasping both sides of her mug, feet rubbing against each other.

toji looked over at her, a scowl playing on his features. “and where are you going to sleep, the sofa?”

“well, yeah.”

“no.”

“but you’re the guest!”

“shut up, no.”

“bu-”

“no.”

she huffed playfully, throwing a hand up in surrender, to which toji smirked at. they sat in comfortable silence, watching some silly competition show play on. despite the tea, she could feel herself becoming sleepier by the minute. she looked over at toji, who seemed perfectly content to lie there and watch the contestants make complete fools of themselves.

“bet that guy’s gonna fall off,” he mumbled, his arms folded over his chest. she only hummed in response, her cheek squished against a pillow, and toji grunted, “you the sleepy one now?”

she laughed, which interrupted her yawn. “maybe.”

“go to sleep then. don’t stay up for me.”

oh, how much he didn’t know about how long she would stay up for him, and how long she would really wait. but she couldn’t say anything except, “you sure?”

“yeah, yeah, i’m cool here.”

“hold on, lemme get you a blanket and pillow before i go.”

she returned promptly with them, kneeling down to place them on the floor beside him. when she looked up, she didn’t realize just how close his face was to hers. toji’s eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.

she gulped.

“good night,” he whispered.

“night,” was all she could muster before overcoming the magnetism between them and walking away.

| Φ |

the final stretch.

a flurry of pens on paper, pounding hearts, a tripwire of nerves, and then…

“time is up! please, everyone, put down your pens. the exam is officially concluded.”

she leaned back in her seat, a sheer sense of awe crawling over her. this was it, she was done. her last university exam, all of it was finally over after three long years. her fellow students were of similar sentiment, with wide, nervous smiles, as if they all couldn’t really believe this was happening, as the smacks of numerous pats on the back reverberated through the hall.

the sun was shining on her face as she exited the exam hall, warm and inviting, promising that the hope for the future wasn’t unfounded. they were all high on life, with the thought that the world was their oyster, and they would all be lucky enough to find their own pearls.

“oh my god,” her friend groaned exaggeratedly, hands on her knees as if she’d just run a marathon. “it’s over.”

"yeah, it is," she hummed in agreement, basking in the sheer awe of the moment.

her friend barked out a laugh and clasped her hands together. “right then, i’m going to get ready for the party tonight. you are coming, right?”

“yeah of course,” she confirmed, shocking even herself that she would be going out. “we can only celebrate this once.”

her friend squealed, pulling her into a big hug before breaking away and trotting off. “bring fushiguro! maybe you both can get drunk and finally kiss,” she called out over her shoulder.

a few students looked over at her, and the embarrassment was almost crushing. she’d come to understand now that everyone on campus knew who toji fushiguro was. he was renowned for his adonis figure, the kind of handsome that only existed in fiction, and the fact he most certainly wasn’t associated with any girls or went to any parties.

until perhaps now, of course.

later that night at the cafe, as she fidgeted at her spot behind the counter, she plucked up the courage to ask toji, “so, you can totally say no if you don’t want to come, but there’s a party that’s happening in my building to celebrate the end of exams.”

toji looked up from reading her quantum mechanics textbook she had brought and grunted, “a party, huh. you going?”

“yeah, i’ll be heading over after closing up,” she replied, a bit deflated that he hadn’t seemed to notice she had dressed up quite a bit from her usual attire.

he hummed, nodded, and went back to reading. “i’ll see how i feel.”

that was no definitive reply, and she picked apart his usual baritone and analyzed in her mind as she went through a back-and-forth internal debate, trying to deduce some sort of meaning from it. she’d arrived to the party about an hour ago, and she was still thinking about it as she sipped away at some fruit-flavored punch that was far too delicious and dangerous for someone who didn't really drink. her lips were already numb, and the creeping giddiness was making her feel the joyousness of all that life is and would be.

her course mates had their arms around her shoulders, all of them loudly singing, more slurring really, in a circle to whatever song was thumping through the speakers. a part of her wanted to loose herself in the silliness of it all; it gave her courage and made her seem capable of things she would never have dreamed of sober.

“oh my- don’t look, but fushiguro is actually here,” her friend slurred through her ear, nearly shouting and sending a ringing noise piercing through her eardrum.

she turned around, and sure enough, there was toji fushiguro pushing his way through the throng of students dancing in the cramped apartment they had decided to congregate in. his green eyes met hers, and relief ran over his features. it was cheesy, as well as completely impossible, but time seemed stretch and distort, slowing to a crawl the closer he got to her. her friend released her from the circle, giving her a calculated shove and sending her stumbling over her own feet.

straight into toji’s waiting arms.

“oh, fuck,” he shouted as he caught her, holding her forearms in a firm grip. “you okay?”

she stared up at him, the alcohol running through her blood making her lips spread into a big, dopey smile, and giggled, “yeah, you’re here.”

she could have sworn the tips of his ears turned pink, but the flashing, multicoloured lights made it too hard to make it out properly. it took her far too long to realize that toji still hadn’t let go of her arms, even as her punch had spilled on them both, and as even more people stared and bumped into them.

“you want a drink?” she shouted, standing up on her tiptoes to reach his ear.

toji grimaced. “no thanks, i don’t drink.”

“oh yeah, you’re a proper athlete and all,” she hiccuped, her body flushing with heat and the sound of the music.

he only laughed at that, his emerald eyes twinkling with possibilities.

| Φ |

“be careful,” toji hissed as he quickly moved to steady her as she tripped over the doorway into her dorm. “jesus, you’re a mess.”

“i-hiccup! no, no i’m a ss-shtar,” she wallowed, chuckling madly at her own antics. “ssstar! star.”

“yes, yes, a star, definitely,” toji mumbled, closing the door behind them, and maneuvering her securely along with him.

“hehe, am i youuuur star, toji?” she giggled, her legs giving out from underneath her, suddenly turning into jelly.

he snorted, using her strength to lift her off the floor and into his arms. “yes, you are. now c’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

her head rolled against his chest, her head swimming in a pool of red stars and blue moons, all of them circulating around a green sun. “go onnn, you have to say i’m yo-hiccup-ur star!”

“you’re my star, now c’mon. get into bed.”

as soon as he laid her underneath her duvet, her head started to pound and swirl the moment she closed her eyes, her stomach lurched as if she was actually free-falling, and she groaned loudly. toji kneeled down in front of her, his face oh so very close to hers.

“what’s wrong? you wanna get sick?” he asked, forest eyes deep and ethereal as they took in her probably smeared makeup.

“i close my eyes and it feels bad,” she mumbled, feeling childish as her silliness became too much for even her not-so-sober state to listen to.

toji settled into a more comfortable sitting position, and she could feel his breath caressing her face. “tell me about something then, don’t think about it.”

“like-hiccup what?”

“anything. talk to me about stars, or whatever.”

“stars, really? okay… did you know, that there’s -hic- all different colors?”

“no, i didn’t actually. why’s there so many?”

“cuz they’re all different temperatures, that’s why.”

“that’s really cool. tell me about all the colors.”

“ohh, well there’s blue stars, those're the hottest one. and then there’s…”

| Φ |

she woke up to a throbbing headache and a burning stomach, her eyes hurting as light filtered through the opaque grey curtains of the window. the white wall beside her bed was the first thing she saw when she peeked her eyes open, so dreadfully plain and uninteresting, but rolling over to the other side was another sort of unnecessarily difficult task.

she almost threw up when she saw toji lying there on the floor.

“toji?” she whispered urgently. “toji?! are you awake?”

he grunted in annoyance and rolled over to face her, his midnight hair all messy on a pillow he had procured from who knows where, although there was no blanket to be seen. the light through the curtains softly enhanced his features, the scarred side of his lip twitching as he flitted somewhere in between the realm of dreams and sleep, and oh how her heart was absolutely swooning at the sight.

she smiled to herself, quietly watching him sleep and quickly forgetting about how ill she felt, because none of that mattered. only that she could hear the scratching of quills, ruffling feathers, and the soft music playing, telling her that this was it.

she was in love with toji fushiguro.

there was no other way around it, no more denying it to herself or anyone else. she loved him, the boy who slept on a rock-hard floor beside her all night, listening to her drunk and probably terrible explanations about stars and who knows what else.

green orbs peeked out from hooded lids, and toji mumbled, “what’re you lookin at?”

she bit her lip, trying to contain her giddiness at her sudden revelation, and reached over to poke his hand. “you. why didn’t you sleep on the sofa?”

toji's eyes fully opened, and he grabbed her finger and tugged gently. “cause, what if you needed to get sick and tripped in the dark? you might be a star, but you don’t actually shine, you know?”

“hah, you’re hilarious,” she retorted, letting him waggle her finger with his hand. “what else did i say, then?”

“that i’m the nicest person on earth for staying with you, and that i deserve free green tea from now on.”

“chancer, i definitely didn’t.”

“but how do you know you definitely didn’t?”

a loud knock at her door jolted them both out of their banter, and her roommate belted from the other side, “oi, lovebirds! we’re all going to get breakfast, want to come with?”

she looked expectantly at toji, who shrugged and mouthed ‘sure’, and answered back, “yeah, be out in a sec!”

“lovebirds, huh?” toji mumbled, as he intertwined their fingers, the corner of his lip curling upwards.

oh, angels in heaven above…

“shut up.”

| Φ |

the month of june was of blue skies and scorching pavements. of far too many melted vanilla and matcha ice-creams dripping onto their clothes. of heat mirages and the cool, sweet relief of air-conditioned cafes and shopping malls. of lying on dried-out, yellowed grass at night, their sweaty hands firmly holding each other, while looking up at the midnight sky and divulging all their deepest secrets.

it was when she learned how toji got the scar on his lip.

he was twiddling with the hem of her baby pink t-shirt, and not quite looking at her. “my cousins used to bully me when i was a kid,” he admitted quietly.

her gaze snapped over to him, soul aching for him. “toji, that’s awful. did you tell anyone?”

toji shook his head, trailing a finger up and down her bare arm. “my parents kinda dismissed it like it wasn’t happening. i think they didn’t want to stir things within the family, even when the fuckers took it too far one day and caused this." he paused, voiced tinged with bitterness. "they held me down and threatened me with razor blades, and one of 'em accidentally slipped."

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, not knowing quite else to say, and then rolled over onto her side to face him.

“it’s alright, i’m over it,” toji mumbled, returning to lying on his back, his arm behind his head. “but it’s why i've been studying so hard, so i can get the hell out of here. my family lives quite close by, you see.”

“right, and tokyo is about as far away as you can get.”

“yeah, pretty much.”

“and that’s why you didn’t speak to anyone at uni. you knew you'd just be moving on anyways, so there was no point making friends."

“mhm.”

she chewed the inside of her cheek. “so, what made me different?”

toji turned his head to face her, his gaze holding a gentleness she'd never seen before, “because… you’re you,” he said, as if that alone would explain everything.

she looked away, staring up at the sky again. it was silent for some time before she finally asked, “have i ever explained what quantum entanglement is to you before?”

“no, don’t think so, but go on.”

“it’s when two particles are so deeply connected, that it doesn’t matter even if they’re separated. the connection will always be there, and they’ll always affect each other. the distance between them doesn't matter either, because they still belong to each other.”

toji was quiet for a long time, and she wondered if he understood the deeper meaning behind what she was actually trying to say. she had never explicitly said to him that she loved him, and perhaps this was the only way she could say it - in the only way she knew how to. it was too late to turn back now anyway.

suddenly, he pushed his upper body off the ground and sat upwards, his back turned to her. he was breathing fast, too fast, and her heart started to beat frantically.

“toji?” she called out, fear lacing her words, her heart breaking in two at the mere thought of him rejecting all of this this – rejecting her.

toji turned to her, and whispered with glossy eyes, his words almost barely audible, “it’s you. it’s you. it’s you, and i love you.”

with that, he practically fell on top of her, their lips finally meeting in what seemed like an inevitable occurrence. like an eclipse or the death of a star, but none of that mattered. because here she was, with toji fushiguro, and he loved her.

he loved her, as her lips parted for him and their tongues swirled together, and she thought he tasted of vanilla.

she loved him, as he tenderly held the back of her head, and she melted into him like the ice creams they savoured every day.

they loved each other, as their hands dipped underneath their shirts, exploring the dips and valleys of each other's bodies.

the universe was never more perfect than in that very moment.

| Φ |

the very next week, they went on their first official date.

“i’ll swing by your place at eight o’clock, is that okay?” toji asked her over the phone, as she lazed about in her bed in a dream-like, rosy trance.

she hummed, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air. “sure. what are we doing?”

“never you mind your brilliant little head about it. just be ready, okay?”

“hehe, okay.”

“okay, i’ll see you later… i love you.”

“i love you too.”

with that, he ended the call, and she was left counting down the hours until she would see him. she got ready in good time, being careful to shave every bit of hair on her body, using her roommate's products that she’d left behind after moving out. not that she even thought they would be doing something like that, at least not until she had seen a box of condoms under the bathroom sink cabinet. she hadn’t thought of sex since her subpar experience with it during her first year, and had since locked it out of her mind.

and now, it was all she could think about.

just after eight p.m., there was a prompt knock on the door, and she breathed out shakily before opened it. and there was her boy, her toji, holding a bouquet of half a dozen red roses, with a blush gracing his cheeks nearly as colorful as the flowers.

“hey,” he greeted with a handsome, crooked smile, his eyes sweeping up and down her figure. “you look beautiful. i hope you like italian food.”

and all her bundle of nerves dissipated. “yeah,” she replied breathlessly. “i do.”

toji took her to a small restaurant not too far from her dorm, about a fifteen-minute walk away. it was quirky, designed really for students with not much money in their pockets, but it was just perfect. it was natural, the way it was always meant to be. with her sitting there in a dainty summer dress, while toji, in his usual black t-shirt and jeans, looked at her like she was his whole universe.

after they were done with their meal, he’d shooed her away from even trying to pay for the bill, which he paid for in battered notes and loose change. then, they walked hand in hand in the warm summer breeze back to her dorm. she was going on excitedly about how she was looking for internships at various firms in tokyo, and toji was smiling as he listened to her finally start to figure out the answers to her future equation.

though, maybe not just her future.

they finally entered the safe space of her dorm, her roommates absence filling it with a sad eeriness. she looked at him shyly, fiddling with her fingers behind her back, and asked, “you want some tea?”

toji hummed, taking his shoes off at the door. “sure, thanks.”

she was grateful he said yes; it gave her something to do with her hands. she reached upwards to the cabinet to grab their mugs. the two twin beige, somewhat grey, mugs that always sat beside each other. they clinked loudly against the counter, and she flicked the kettle on.

and then, toji’s warm hands were on her hips, and her mind went blank.

“i love you,” he mumbled, his lips soft and wet as they trailed against the curve of her neck. “you’re my star, and i love you.”

he was repeating ‘i love you’ like a mantra he couldn’t quite believe was true, and even a part of her was still amazed that it actually was. she turned to face him, tea well forgotten about, and wrapped her arms around his neck to place her lips between his plush ones. toji hummed into her mouth, his hands sliding down to gently grip her behind, pulling her closer into him.

it was a nebula explosion after that, a stumbling mess of them making their way to her bedroom with their lips interlocked, bodies pressed close together as they ripped their clothes off each other. giggling like naughty children when she struggled to tug her dress off.

“you’re hopeless,” toji groaned playfully, tapping her nose with his finger, before smoothly sliding her dress from her body.

she pouted, crossing her arms over her bare chest. “am not.”

he shushed her softly, pulling her into him once more in a fiery kiss, and they fell gently onto the bed. toji kneaded her breasts, eliciting a moan from her as his mouth traveled slowly from her lips, down to her neck and caressing her collarbone, flicking her hard nipple with his tongue.

“hmm, you feelin good, baby?” toji murmured, looking up at her with hooded lids, forest eyes blazing with desire reserved just for her. “not too much?”

"n-no," she stuttered, fisting his black locks between her fingers, scratching the back of his scalp and making him groan.

toji parted his lips, his breath blowing softly and tickling her nipple, and she shivered and slightly arched her back in anticipation. he teased her with his tongue, licking her hard bud with a featherlight touch, and she gasped, “toji, please.”

with that, he took her nipple in his mouth, steaming hot and so wet as his tongue swirled around it. she moaned loudly, arching herself into his body, and he placed a strong hand on the small of her back to pull her in.

she thought that if toji pulled her in any closer, they would surely melt into each other and become one.

her legs parted of their own accord, and her hips were pure instinct as she ground her slick pussy on his thigh, the ridges of the powerful muscle stimulating her perfectly and sending jolts of pleasure through her core. toji smiled against her nipple, giving it one last suck, let it go with an audible pop! and traveled back up to her face, his lips brushing hers.

“who knew,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses along the bridge of her nose. “that all this would happen from drinking green tea.”

she giggled, and held his face in her hands, bringing his lips back home to hers. “i need you, toji,” she breathed out, breaking their kiss. “can i have you?”

toji smiled, touched his forehead to hers and murmured, “you can always have me, sweetheart. tell me what you want.”

“i want you in me,” she begged, her arousal making her more desperate by the second. “i’m yours, toji. make me yours.”

he snapped.

his lips captured hers once more in a searing kiss so molten hot, she was sure she would burn and be consumed by his fire. toji’s hands moved down to himself, freeing his hard cock from his boxers with a tiny slap noise as it hit against her lower stomach. he pressed his hips into her and settled in between her legs, his hard and flushed dick feeling even hotter against her skin than his lips did.

toji moved his hips, his cock wetting against her folds, the slick sounds lewd and utterly intoxicating, as he pushed further into her with every back and forth motion.

further.

and further.

she moaned loudly as he finally sunk deep into her wet walls, painfully slow and deliciously agonising.

“oh, fuck baby,” toji groaned, his face in her neck, as he buried himself to the hilt. “you’re -ah!- so fuckin beautiful. my beautiful girl.”

her nails dug into his shoulder, and toji bent her legs to fold them, rutting further into her. she whined at the deeper connection, feeling his cock flex inside her. he stilled with their chests pressed tightly together, and she could feel his heart pumping hard.

“t-toji,” she gasped, throwing her head back as she felt his balls against the curve of her ass, the tip of his dick rubbing against that spongy spot that made her see stars behind her eyelids.

he started shallowly thrusting, deliberately slow, holding her head so lovingly she felt she was going to burst. this was heaven, she thought, toji was heaven – her phi. the golden ratio, found in all remarkable and beautiful things on the planet. all her life, all the combinations of numbers, formulas, and sequences had to have been carefully calculated to lead up to him, to this moment.

toji sucked and kissed just below her ear, his muscled thighs flexing as he increased the pace just a fraction, and she clenched around him as she felt the veins of his cock rubbing exquisitely inside her. she tightly squeezed his bicep as the sounds of her squelching pussy and slapping of their bodies filled the room, and the smell of sex and toji filled her nose.

“look at us,” he cooed, stroking her cheek. “makin such a mess on your bed.”

she looked down to the interconnected bodies, a ring of white cream at the base of toji’s cock pumping in and out of her, dripping down onto a damp spot on the bedsheets underneath them. his toned abs had a thin sheen of sweat, and they flexed and rippled as he really started to pound into her. her pussy clenched around him again at the thought of him chasing his pleasure high from her body. she kissed him fervently, and he moaned into her mouth. toji’s balls were tightening, and her orgasm was exponentially building, like the pressure of boiling water molecules hitting the walls of a sealed container.

“let go, baby” toji murmured huskily, his hips snapping at an even faster pace. “let go.”

and she did, throwing her head back and almost screaming as her legs shook violently.

a supernova imploded somewhere at the other end of a distant universe. stars flew across the blackness behind her squeezed-shut eyelids, leaving behind a glittering trail of stardust. toji groaned into her neck, and she felt hot ropes of his cum spurt against her walls, his legs the only thing powering his body through his high.

she wrapped her arms around his neck as he stilled, half-hard cock still plugged inside her, panting into each other as their shared sweat made them stick to each other.

“i love you,” toji whispered, full of reverence and life.

she kissed him softly, rubbing their noses together. “i love you too.”

| Φ |

it was early july now; their results had been released, and graduations were finally right around the corner.

“you should go toji!” she exclaimed, cupping her mug of lukewarm tea with both hands, watching intently from the sofa as he did some stretches. “you’ve worked so hard for this.”

he grunted, but from effort or annoyance, she didn’t know. “i can’t be bothered, seriously, and i’m not interested in standing on a stage and be the only person without parents cheering them on.”

she didn’t press it further, casting one last longing look at his muscles rippling as he stretched, and resumed looking through internship advertisements on her laptop. they had settled into an oddly domestic routine for the past few weeks. she would work in the cafe during the day, while toji trained at the gym. he would swing by and pick her up as she finished work in the early afternoon, and they would cook dinner and hang around the dorm. the weather was getting far too hot for leisurely walks during the day, so they had mostly passed that time making love and talking about everything and nothing.

toji kissed the top of her head, squatting behind her and clearly finished with his stretches, his eyes skimming over the current tab open on her laptop. “still nothin, baby?”

she sighed, rubbing his hand that was gently massaging her shoulder. “no.”

“you’ll find something, don’t worry. it’ll happen. let’s just focus on celebrating your graduation next week.”

her graduation.

she still couldn’t believe it. next week, she would be graduating, and the week after that, saying goodbye to her accommodation – her home – for the last three years of her life. saying farewell to her manager and the little cafe that had been so good to her, and not just because it had brought her and toji together. the stress was mounting to find something, anything, in tokyo, because she refused to even entertain the idea of going backwards and returning home.

and because she absolutely could not bear to be so far away from toji either, the thought alone was soul-crushing.

she heard the shower faucet running in the bathroom, and a wave of loneliness hit her. why exactly, she wasn’t sure, but she chased after toji into the bathroom.

he stared as she burst in, brow raised in startled confusion as soap suds ran down his face and back. “what? you find somethin?”

clothes be damned, she stepped into the shower and kissed him with all the energy and emotion she could muster. toji was taken aback for a second, hesitatingly circling his arms around her, and then giving into her.

she then decided; she would rather her body combust, and all her atoms disperse into the atmosphere before even trying to live without toji fushiguro.

| Φ |

it was the night before her graduation, and she was a nervous wreck.

“oh, toji,” she gushed, dipping the razor she was holding into a bowl of soapy water and giving it a little shake. “i hate getting up in front of people. i might just not go. it doesn’t really matter anyway, does it?”

toji hummed, brows furrowed at her, but remained unable to respond unless he wanted to get soap in his mouth. she flicked the excess water from the razor and carefully shaved underneath toji’s chin. he’d really let his stubble grow out, and since he was adamant about attending her graduation, it meant that the scruff would just have to go.

“nugh- y’re goin,” toji mumbled through pursed lips. “y’re too shmart t'not go.”

“and you’re too smart to have missed yours, but here we are,” she retorted, her tongue poking out from the side of her lip in concentration. “now stop talking, or you’ll get cut.”

toji grumbled and huffed from his nose, sending a soap sud flying onto her bare arm, and he snorted in amusement. she was sat on top of the kitchen counter next to the sink, with toji standing in between her legs, his hands kneading her plush thighs every so often. she was deep in thought, going through her mental checklist of everything she needed to prepare for tomorrow morning.

her light green kimono for the ceremony was already laid out on her roommate's old bed, zori shoes and tabi socks neatly placed beside it. but her hair pins and accessories still needed to be picked out, and she hadn’t even decided on a-

“ow, fuck!”

she snapped out of her thoughts as toji hissed in pain, ruby-red pearls of blood already blooming from his lip.

oh no…

please god, no...

she’d cut his scar, reopening the top layer of delicate flesh.

“toji! fuck, i’m sorry,” she panicked, as he pulled away from her in a flash, his fingers pressing down on his lip. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to!

she slid off the counter, immediately trying to go over and help him, but toji practically growled, “don’t fucking touch me.”

her body froze, a cold shock of dread spreading from her head straight down to her stomach where it pooled uncomfortably. “toji?” she called out, her heart cracking and lip quivering. “it’s me. it’s only me.”

she’d never seen him like this before, backed up against the wall like an injured animal, his green eyes widened, breathing quickened, and nostrils flared, as if he was about to lash out at anything and everything. he met her worried gaze, and there was nothing but coldness and emptiness. there was no trace of the boy she knew and loved. “oh, toji. please,” she begged, fat droplets of tears running down the apples of her cheeks. "let me help you."

toji madly scrambled away, grabbing his shoes, and was out the door as if he’d never been there to begin with.

| Φ |

toji never came home last night.

she’d fallen asleep on the sofa, after calling him numerous times with no answer, waiting for him to walk back through the door until she couldn’t possibly keep her eyes open any longer. when she woke up groggily, her eyes still heavy from sleep and crying, she went about the arduous task of getting herself ready for graduation.

she hoped, no, prayed to the angels solving her equation to apply a magic formula that would bring toji back to her. she had to believe he would show up to the ceremony; he just had to show. she didn’t even want to think about trying to calculate for the probability of him not showing up. the day past in a hazy, slow blur of camera flashes, ostentatious flower bouquets, and toothy grins of parents and graduates. she played the part perfectly, a walking empty shell of a human, hugging and smiling with her loved ones. when her name was called to receive her diploma, nothing else mattered except trying to catch a glimpse of toji’s face in the audience.

but she couldn’t see him, and a foolish part of her hoped that he was simply standing right at the back, wearing that soft smile she loved so much whenever he looked at her.

she eventually returned back to her dorm in a numb daze, blinking slowly as her eyes swept over her soon-to-be-old home.

there was no trace of toji.

not his black sliders by the door.

not his toothbrush in the holder in the bathroom.

not his canvas bag or dirty gym clothes in the washing basket.

nothing at all.

she collapsed to the floor in a heap, her hands shakily procuring her phone from her clutch purse, and dialled toji’s number.

beep. beep. beep.

“sorry, but the number you have called does not exist. ple-”

she snapped her phone shut, and hoped that her angels could hear the gut-wrenching scream that clawed its way out of her throat and reverberated around the empty walls of the dorm.

| Φ |

the first law of thermodynamics states that energy could never be created or destroyed, only changing from one form to another.

she thought of that as she remained curled into a fetal position on the cold, hard tiles, teeth chattering and the very marrow of her bones frozen solid. her fingernails had dug crescent moons into her palm, so hard she surely must have bled by now, but she didn’t care. her heart was tearing itself apart, a war of muscle and heartstrings against merciless, cruel love clashing inside of her chest.

her energy, what was it? was it inherently love? for perhaps the numbers and greek letters she had puzzled over for hours on end, contemplating all of the universe's workings and mysteries. or was it for toji fushiguro? for the dark-haired boy who had taught to her love something else other than her calculations and green tea. to love life and all the little joys that came along with it, and that she was worth so much more than she gave herself credit for.

if her energy was love, then what was it going to change into?

hate or rage? both? maybe the angels would mercifully apply the catastrophic formula of death instead, proving her equation to be null and false, and her body would dissolve back into dust and atoms. atoms that would find their way back to toji, hovering so closely to him, but never touching him again. would his body know hers, even if he could never hope to see her? would he sense her and smile, and remember the quiet, young love they had once shared?

her teeth clattered loudly, and her arms disappeared into the sleeves of her kimono.

how strange, she thought, that the music was the loudest it had ever been.

scratching of quills.

a splash of ink and a teardrop.

and the scroll was flipped over to a blank side.

| Φ |

412 notes · View notes

henry7931 · 27 days

Text

Got Your Body B*tch!

Drew:

This is Marco, he’s a raging asshole (for a lack of better words). I’ve known him all of my life, down to when we were young kids. And he’s always been a huge pain.

Marco, is the type of guy who’s cocky, always gets what he wants, comes from really nice rich parents, and incredibly insensitive.

He’s been that way forever.

I thought I was done with him when I left to go to college. That was until I walked in to my college apartment and saw Marco unpacking bags.

“Drewphus! I didn’t know you’re my roomie. You’re going to have to leave the apartment when bring a girl over, okay? Oh also, no touching my shit. I don’t want you get poverty all over it.”

If looks could kill in a moment, I swear Marco would be dead on the ground right now.

“I’m kidding…. Well, kinda. So here is your space, I hope you don’t mind but i already called the bigger bedroom since i was here first.”

“That’s fine Marco,” I say biting my tongue.

“Great, well have fun unpacking whatever you got in those two suit cases. I’m gonna have some private Marco time if you know what I mean”

Marco makes a jerking off hand gesture, I just roll my eyes and head into my new room.

A few hours past after I unpack and settle in, I order a pizza for dinner and lay back in bed.

All I can think about is how I’m about to have to live in the same quarters as Marco. The same guy I cant stand to be around.

Ugh…

So just like I always do when I get this stressed— it’s time to jerk off. (Something I’m sure Marco has already done 12 times today)

I checked my phone to see how much time I have until the pizza arrives, one hour. Great!

I pull off my shorts and open up my laptop. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this but I the kind of porn I like isn’t for everyone. I have a foot fetish. And not just that I this thing for jock athletes and their feet. I hate how much it turns me on especially since it’s guys like Marco that really get me going.

I start scrolling through and see this really hot jock with big feet. I click on his page. His username says AlphaAlex, he’s tan, dirty brown curly hair, six pack, big muscles…

I start mentally picturing him with me in the room, fantasizing him taking off his sneakers and dirty gym socks in front of me.

He says to me, “Hey Drew, do you mind rubbing my feet? I’ve had a really long practice and they are killing me.”

He puts them on my lag and says, “sorry if they stink!”

He lets me rub them and I ask him if I can smell them…

He says, “Sure, you can do whatever you want with them. After you’re done with my big jock feet, do you mind massaging my cock next?”

I stare deeply into AlphaAlex’s massive bulge on the screen. Almost about to nut…

“BRO!!! WHAT THE F*CK DREWFUS! I KNEW YOU WERE A HOMO BUT YOU’RE A FOOT FREAK TOO?”

Cum squirts onto my chest just as I turn to see Marco standing at my door with his cellphone recording in hand.

“MARCO!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?”

“Bro, wait until I show this to everyone! Now everybody going to know you’re a foot freak!!”

“MARCO PLEASE NOOO!!!”

I hop out of bed and Marco turns around and I chase him butt naked through our apartment.

He screams, “Stop chasing me foot freak!!!”

Marco shuts the door and I feel my stomach turn. I beg him to delete the video but he doesn’t respond.

As I go back to my room, I cry into my pillow… I feel so mortified.

I lay back, wiping my tears and say, “If someone could hear me, I wish I can get revenge on Marco. No I want more! I want everything Marco has…”

I cry myself to sleep, nervous for what the next day had in store for me.

The next morning, I wake up feeling kinda off. It takes me a second but I realize that somehow I’m not in my room!

In a panic, I rush to get out of bed until I come across a mirror.

That’s when I see Marco’s reflection looking back at me!!!

“Holy shit!!”

I feel a moment of fear hit me… but then I remember my wish last night. Someone out there listened to me.

I look at Marco’s face and then down at his body. Hes a dick but…. He is hot…

I pull off Marco’s shorts he slept in and his 10 inch hard morning wood comes flopping out.

“Holy fuck…”

I grasp it in Marco’s hand, which I guess is my hand now?

Nervous, yet kinda excited, I wasn’t sure what to do.

I looked down at the throbbed cock in my new new hands and immediately start jerking off.

I hop back into Marco’s bed and bring his foot up to his face. He actually has some sexy feet!

I start licking his foot from heal to toe. I relish in knowing the fact that he would go insane if he saw me with his body right now.

I keep tugging away at his cock and this maybe the best jerk off session in my life.

I twist Marco’s nipple and let out a soft moan.

“Fuckkk Marco your nipples are sooo sensitive,” I say aloud.

Hearing his voice sends me into a frenzy, just the thought that I can say anything, do anything as him. I have complete control of this dickhole!

I stand up out of bed and dash to the mirror, I grin at his reflection and jerk his cock even faster.

“Drew, it feels soo good, keep jerking my cock Drew. My body belongs to you now, my big feet, my sensitive nipples, my sexy abs… FUCKKKK THIS IS SOOO HOTTTT!!!”

I nearly screaming by this point and I feel every muscle in Marco’s body tighten.

I’m tugging so fast now and then cum sprays all over the place.

I fall back onto Marco’s bed covered in his nut. I look at his covered hand and lick it clean.

I lay back and gently rub his fingers back and forth on his stomach up to his chest.

Then reality started to sink….

Wait, if I’m Marco… what happened to my body?

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

I hear a distant familiar scream coming from the background.

“Oh shit…”

Heavy footsteps coming charging my direction and before I can even get up the door slams open.

Out of the door is my body…

My eyes get big, I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. My face is blood red and he starts to charge at me.

“Hold up!” I say hopping on top of the bed.

“DREW YOU PIECE OF SHIT IM GOING TO END YOU!!”

He balls up a fist and starts to pull back. Before he can reach me I grab the balled fist.

I guess Marco’s body has quicker reflex’s.

I pull him in and toss him on the bed. I pin him down and say, “I’m a lot stronger than you now. You wanna talk instead?”

“F YOU!!!”

I twist my former weaker arm and he shouts out, “OWWW SHIT, FINNNE!!!”

I get hop off my body and let him turn over.

He glances me over and says, “did you just jerk off in my body?”

I look down at the undeniable evidence.

“Yeah, I did. It was amazing.”

“You piece of—”

I look down and notice the tent in my boxers.

“Wait are you turned on right now?” I say to him.

“NO IM NOT!”

“You have a very noticeable boner right now.”

“Shut up! No I don’t!”

“What was it for you? Seeing your body all naked? Or was it when I pinned you down?”

He says nothing to me, just looks away.

“I mean you have very hot body Marco, theirs no shame in being turned on by it. Hell, I can’t stand you and I just had the best jerk off session in my life. What’s getting all hot and bothered? Is your hairy pits?” I hold his armpit up and step closer to him.

“Or maybe it’s the sight of your own cock.” I say shaking his semi-hard dick at him.

I move even closer to him. He looks like he’s in a trance.

“Oh you know what always gets me hard. Big manly feet,” I kick his foot up and show it to him.

I place his foot on my former bulge and start rubbing it.

“Does that feel good?”

He still say nothing but lets me keep going.

I push him further on the bed and pull off the brief I went to bed in my last.

My dick comes out standing straight up and leaking from the tip.

I place his foot on it and start toying with it using his toes.

He lets out a moan.

I look at my former face and he’s so turned on right now.

I pull his foot away and he says softly, “please don’t stop…”

“Oh you don’t want me to stop?”

“No… please Drew… it’s throbbing…”

“Well you’re gonna have to finish the job yourself, I’m going to shower and head to the pool.”

“WHAT!??”

“Yeah the pools still open, got to make the most out of these last few warm days Drew.”

“YOU!!! Drew, you can’t just leave me like this!!! I want my body back right now!”

“Sorry DREW! But this wasn’t my doing necessarily. If anything this is karma for you being such a prick all these years. Now run along and go take care of that boner little gay boy.”

I look at the corner of Marco’s room and see his dirty sock.

“Oh here you go! A gift from me to you, enjoy!”

I give my former throbbing dick a pat and I run off to the shower, leaving Marco in his mixed emotional state.

I rinse off quickly and come back out, I walk back into Marco’s room and see he’s still on the bed— sniffing the dirty sock and wanking one out.

“Oh fuck you’re back already!” he says to me.

He looks so pathetic right now.

“Geez, just stay right where you are.”

I drop the towel and get into bed with him. I grab my former cock and push it into Marco’s throat.

“HOLY!!!!” he screams out.

I suck off my former body while Marco’s moans frantically.

I feel him running my former hands in his hair and I feel myself getting a little excited from it. It’s kinda hot being this aggressive and sucking my former body off.

He lets out a loud grunt and cums down my new throat.

“Better?,” I say whipping the excess cum off my mouth.

“God yeah,” he says taking heavy breaths.

I look at my former body in the eyes and for a split second I thought about kissing him. But then reality sinks in… that’s still Marco inside.

I get out of bed and say, “I’m heading down to the pool.”

I put on his bathing suit and he says to me, “Drew, I’m sorry for being such a dick.”

“I know you are,” I say back.

“Can we try to fix this?”

“I’m sorry to Marco but I don’t think we fix this, these may be our bodies forever. So you might as well get comfortable.”

I left him sitting in his now former room naked and silent.

When I get down to the pool it doesn’t take me long to notice others noticing me.

Some girls and some guys, I look over at some of the guys and even wink at one. He is super cute and fit.

I hop on to a float and lay back soaking up the sun. I wait to see if that guys going to make a move when the ultimate buzz kill shows up.

It’s Marco in my body.

“Sup,” he says to me.

“Just trying to relax.”

“Yeah well, we still need to talk.”

“We don’t now f*ck off.”

He rolls his eyes and walks over a chair by the pool.

Soon that guy from earlier comes over.

“Hey, what’s up?” he says to me with a grin.

“Just laying out wait for you to come over,” I say with a smirk.

“Oh is that so?” he says flirtatiously.

He gets into the pool and now he’s right next to me.

“I’m Lois.”

“Marco,” I say introducing myself to him.

“So do you live here?”

“Yeah I’m on the second floor.”

“Nice, I’m on the third.”

We flirt and have small talk for a minute until he asks me out.

“Sure you wanna do tonight?” I say to him.

“Oh man, yeah I’m down,” he tries not to be too excited.

“Great, let’s say 7?”

“Yeah 7 works for me.”

“Cool,” I say grinning at him.

I peak out of the corner of my eye and see my Marco coming up to the pool.

“What are you doing?” he says to me.

“Oh hey Drew, this is my roommate.”

“Oh nice, I’m—”

“Don’t care dude, I need to talk to you Marco.”

“Uh okay, sorry Lois. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah for sure!”

I get out of the pool and walk back to the apartment with Marco angry.

“What was that?” he says sternly.

“None of your business! Also you were just so f*cking rude!”

“I don’t care! You were flirting with that guy!”

“Yeah so? We are going on a date tonight.”

“WHAT?!?”

“Yeah, and you interrupted it.”

“You’re going on a date with a guy in my body?!?”

“It’s my body now and yes I am!”

“But… but you just sucked me off and…”

“And what? You thought that was something special?”

“OF COURSE NOT! I’M NOT GAY!”

“Well what you did a few hours ago seemed pretty gay to me.”

“Yeah that’s because I’m in your gay body and plus that’s my body. It’s kinda like masterbation.”

“Whatever man, I really don’t care. If you want to pretend to be straight that’s fine. But I’ll be honest, I think you’ve always had feelings for guys. I know because I’m in your body and I’m still attracted to men.”

“SHUT UP!!!”

“So it’s true, you’ve been a dick to me my entire life about my sexuality, what I like, and it turns out you have some pinned up jealousy towards me right?”

Marcos looking down at the ground.

“We could have been friends, do you not get that?!? We could have—”

Marco grabs me and kisses me.

I was so shocked and I even felt butterflies in my stomach. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?”

“I’m sorry Drew! I was never going to do all of that stuff. I… I don’t know how to say this… I like you. I like you a lot. Hell, I thought about kissing you just about every time I went to kiss any girl. But I have so much anger and you’re right I am jealous! I’m jealous that you’re out and proud of yourself. You’re so confident! Fuck!!”

“So why put me through so much!?!! I mean look at us, we’re literally trapped as each other now! All of this could have been prevented if you just owned up.”

“I thought… I thought you would have hated me so much that you would tell everyone the truth about me. So… I just, I was a prick.”

“Damn right you were!”

“Sorry… again.”

“It’s fine, I guess I’m sorry for causing this body swap thing between us. I made some wish last night to get back at you. I didn’t think it would become anything but then woke up as you.”

His eyes get big, “so that’s how this happened?”

“Yeah, I guess something out in the universe was listening in and heard me.”

“That’s nuts.”

“Yeah it is.”

“Well if we are being honest about everything. I wasn’t just turned on by you dominating me upstairs. I was freaked out and yet turned on from being inside of you.”

“Really? My body?”

“Yeah Drew, you’re cute. You have an adorable face, cute slim figure, you’re charming yet kinky.”

“Wow.”

“And now I guess we are going to have to be each other forever?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Well if I had to be anyone else, I’m glad it’s you.”

“You mean that?”

“I do.”

I grinned at him and he smiles back at me. We both start to laugh.

“Are you still going on a date with this Lois guy?”

“Well not if an adorable guy who’s charming yet kinky stops me.”

“I guess that’s me now isn’t it?”

“Yep!”

“Well I can’t fully stop you but I can tell you this. If you don’t go—we can order take out, lay in bed together, and fool around all night.”

“Hmmmm… that sounds promising.”

“Plus, I know my body really well. And I can tell you no one knows how to make that body feel as good as I do.”

“Is that so?”

He walks closer to me seductively and Im starting to get hard again.

“I’ll nibble on those nipples, toy around with my balls…I bet you these hands are going to feel so good working that cock..”

He reaches into my bathing suit and I gasp.

“Fuckkk, I guess I’ll be staying tonight,” I say barely getting words out.

“Hell yeah!!!”

3 Months Later:

“Babe, are you packed? We got to be at your parents in a couple of hours… Babe?”

“Hi”

“Are you kidding?”

“We have time for a quick round, sides I’ll jerk you off using these sexy toes,” I say wiggling my feet at my boyfriend.

“Fuckkk… I guess we have time.”

Marco pulls off his shirt and I see the definition built into my former chest. He’s been hitting the gym a lot lately and everyday he’s looking sexier and sexier.

Marco pulls off his shorts and he’s already hard from these feet. It works like a charm every time.

I watch as my boyfriend grabs the foot that used to belong to him and he kisses every toe.

It’s crazy how quick the time had flown since we woke up as each other. I guess it helps that we are so in love with one another.

I start rubbing the cock that used to belong to me and now I’m hard.

“Babe, you are so talented with those toes… mhmmm that feels good.”

I use both feet and stroke back and forth.

He stops me for a second and plants my foot on his face.

“Did you work today without any socks on?”

“Hell yeah I did.”

He takes a big sniff of them.

“Fuckkk, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#body swap #male body swap #male tf #permanent tf #body theft #straight to gay

322 notes · View notes

scarlethexelove · 8 months

Note

Your newest fic was amazing!! It hit me right in the feels. Is there a possibility of doing a part 2 where R is healing and struggling with having Wand and Natasha back in her life? A happy ending would be nice.

What About Now?

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader, Carol Danvers x Reader

Word Count: 3590

Warnings: A bit of angst(I guess), Fluff, Medical stuff that may not be right, mention of not wanting to survive

Part 1 I Don't Even Know You Anymore

A/n: Ok so finally got this done. It has some unspecified time jumps. I wanted to kind of leave it a surprise on who Reader will choose so you will just have to read to find out. Hopefully it's good.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

It’s been a week since you woke up.Your mind reeling at the news that you will never be an Avenger again. Your injuries were extensive. Your head injury with your new found stutter which you are really hating. Doctors believe that those effects can be reversed with speech therapy. Along with that it was discovered that a bullet had grazed your spinal cord. While they did test your reflexes they came back weak. Your lower half is feeling slightly numb and tingling. With physical therapy they are hopeful for improvements but with the prognosis things will be difficult. There was also nerve damage that will cause ongoing pain. It comes and goes and some days are worse than others. But you’re alive and that is all that matters.

Your mind goes through all the questions you have in your head. Will Tony make you leave? How do I tell everyone? How do I stop the pity? Was I better off not surviving? All these questions and you have no answers. No one knows of the news you got today leaving you alone with your thoughts but with this news you prefer it.

As your mind plays through all the questions you don’t even hear the door open. But you're drawn to it when it shuts. You look down at your hands not meeting the eyes on you believe it is Wanda and Natasha who have visited frequently. “P-please leave. I c-can’t with this to-today.” You fiddle with the ends of your sleeves. “Well I did travel across six galaxies to see my best friend but I guess I’ll have to come back later.” Your eyes snap up and you're met with a soft smile from your best friend. “Ca-carol?” The tears start to well up in your eyes before a broken sob breaks through. Carol is quick to move towards you. Climbing onto the edge of the bed and pulling you into her chest.

You sob for what seems like hours until your sobs turn to soft sniffles and hiccups. But Carol never leaves hugging you tightly against her as she rubs your back and kisses your head softly. Cooing in your ear to help calm you down. “Y/n/n do you want to tell me what is going on? I heard you were hurt so I came straight here.” You nod, pulling away to look at her before letting it all out. Telling her what happened from when you got back from your mission all the way until earlier today. She intently listens to you and lets you speak. There is no pity in her eyes, only love and compassion, no malice even when talking about what Wanda and Natasha did to you. Only concern for you and your wellbeing. That was why she was your best friend. She knew you better than anyone.

Once you are done she finally speaks. “I wish I was here. I wish I could have been here for you, to take care of you but I’m here now.” She kisses your forehead again lightly. Her lips linger just a little longer than they should but you don’t mind. Her warmth comforts you. “W-what about m-mi-mission?” She shakes her head. “I’m here for you. Y/n/n you come first.” Your heart melts. “Nick granted me time off.” She smiles brightly at you. Your joy and excitement to have your bestfriend back.

From all the events of the day and crying your eyes out you start to get tired. You're nuzzling into Carol's chest as you let out a yawn. “Get some rest sweetheart. You need it. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She kisses your head again and pulls you closer to her. You give her a gentle nod nuzzling closer to her before you close your eyes. Drifting off into the most peaceful sleep you have had in almost a year.

In the months since waking up from your coma and Carol’s return you have grown even closer to Carol. Tonight just like any other night or so you think. You and Carol are sitting in your bed watching a movie for your weekly movie night. Your head is laying on her shoulder, her arm wrapped around you tightly keeping you close. You let out a giggle at something in the movie causing Carol to smile at you. What she does next you don’t expect. She places a finger under your chin gently directing you to look at her. She leans in and gently kisses your lips. You're too shocked to kiss back at first. But once the shock wears off you start kissing her back. It feels strange but good. The kiss deepens her hands cupping your face as you grip at her waist. You didn’t even realize how long you two had been kissing until you're forced to pull back panting and catch your breath. Her forehead pressed against yours as your breaths mingle.

You don’t want to admit that your feelings for Carol have grown with the more time you have spent with her but you're not sure if they are romantic or not. “Carol” You whisper between you two. You lean your head back and look into her eyes. “I-I don’t know. I’m not ready. I don’t know how I feel. I’m sorry.” You look down disappointed in yourself but you know that you need to understand yourself before you can decide anything. Natasha and Wanda are still trying to prove and make up for everything they have done. You still have love for them but you also have love for Carol even if you aren’t sure what that love entails.

Carol gives you a soft smile. “It’s ok Y/n/n. You don’t have to explain. I just wanted to kiss you so bad and I couldn’t help myself.” You blush at her words. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” She adds looking at you, her smile turning sheepish. “No it’s ok. I-I liked it.” You tell her your cheeks are still dusted with a light pink. This was not how you expect your night to go but it was a nice surprise. “Do you want to keep watching?” Carol asks. “Hmm oh y-yeah, of course.” You say turning back to the movie. Your head back on her shoulder and her arm wrapped around you tightly.

So far the only people who know about your prognosis are Carol, Tony, Bucky, and Steve. You have asked them to not tell anyone else until you are ready. Tony has let you stay in the tower citing that you have given up enough of your life and you deserve to keep your home. You are grateful for his kindness. No matter what people say you know Tony has a big heart and cares more than he lets on.

As for Natasha and Wanda they have been helping you as much as they can even if you don’t always want it. They are trying to prove to you that they are truly sorry for what they have done. They even started to go to therapy in hopes of proving it to you. They have even invited you to multiple sessions. At first you didn’t want to go but you wanted to see if they had actually changed. So you tagged along after turning them down a few times. But now that you have gone you have joined them multiple times. Seeing that they are trying.

Currently Carol is away for a small mission. Fury forced her to go but luckily this one is on Earth so she shouldn’t be gone for too long. You're in your bathroom when you feel a sharp pain in your back which causes your legs to give out. You fall to the ground with a loud thud and a cry of pain. You try to get up but a shooting pain runs through your hip causing a small whimper to fall from your lips. When you can’t get up you love to sit against the counter.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?” You call out. “Yes Miss.Y/l/n?” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s robotic voice is heard above. “I-I need help.” You say back. Shortly after F.R.I.D.A.Y responds “I have informed your emergency contact. Miss.Romanoff and Miss.Maximoff are on their way.” “W-wait, N-” You’re cut off when the door slams open, Natasha and Wanda with a frantic look on their faces when they see you on the floor. You had forgotten to change your emergency contact from the two after everything, but it’s too late now the women are here.

“Oh Milaya, what happened?” Wanda kneels down next to you. She hesitantly reaches out for you and when you don’t pull away she takes your hand in hers. “I-I fell and I can’t get back up.” You mumble looking down. You expect to see pity from the woman so you can’t bring yourself to look at them. Natasha makes you look at her with a soft smile. She holds out her hands for you to grab and to help you up. You place your hands in hers, she starts to try to lift you up but you cry out in pain. There is a terrified look on her face in fear that she may hurt you somehow. “I’m sorry Y/n.” You shake your head. “Not you. I think it was the f-fall.” You tell the woman. “We’ll take you to the med bay. We need to make sure you are ok.” Natasha scoops you gently in her arms and takes you towards the med bay. Wanda close behind the both of you.

Once the three of you are there Natasha puts on the exam table in front of Bruce. He was luckily already in the med bay when you got there. “What can I do for you?” Bruce takes off his glasses looking at you three. “I fell and I think I hurt my hip.” You tell him and he nods. It is a short time before he is done with his scans. Natasha and Wanda never leave your side throughout the process. Bruce moves to look at your chart and scans. You watch him as he reads through. You can see the slight change in his demeanor and the quick glance he gives you before looking back down quickly. You know what he just saw.

There is a gasp that draws your attention. You look over seeing Wanda with her hand over her mouth shocked and a sad look in her eyes. “W-Wanda.” Your voice quivers slightly. “You weren’t supposed to find out. Not this way.” Natasha looks confused as she looks between you and Wanda. Bruce shrinks back trying to blend in with the wall. “I-I’m sorry. His thoughts were so loud I didn’t mean to hear.” Wanda pleads, a look of remorse on her face. “Will someone tell me what is going on?” Natasha asks finally and you sigh knowing that you can’t hide it from them anymore. “W-when I got hurt my injuries were more extensive than what was originally thought.” You gulp down the tears that threaten to fall. “I won’t be an Avenger again.” A tear rolls down your cheek as you look down.

The room falls silent with the news until Bruce breaks the silence. “Y/n I have your results. It looks like you have a hairline hip fracture. It should heal on its own with rest. You will have to stop your physical therapy for a few weeks but then be able to continue.” With Bruce's words you nod, willing the tears from the previously intense moment to go away. Bruce gives you some pain medication to help before taking his leave, leaving the three of you alone in the room.

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife until you speak. You explain everything to the woman. Tears rolling down your cheeks as they comfort you. It’s an emotional time as you tell them. Their comfort in this moment means the world to you. It is something that you have missed dearly. They vow to help you in whatever way they can. They help and comfort making you feel loved. Making you question all of your feelings for them and for Carol.

It’s been a few weeks and you're healing. You can move around again albeit slow and with the help of a cane. You're making your way to the common room when you stop at the entryway. Leaning on the wall watching all of your favorite people in the room. No one has noticed you yet as you watch. Your eyes landing on Carol as she laughs and talks with Thor. A smile on your face watching the two interact. Your gaze then makes its way to Natasha and Wanda who are cuddled up on the couch. They are playfully arguing with Clint. The sight widening your smile. You see that Carol’s eyes land on you with a giant grin on her face. At the same time Wanda and Natasha spot you giving you a warm and inviting smile. And in that moment you know that you need to make a decision. To either take a chance with Carol or forgive Wanda and Natasha. To build a lasting relationship with either the pair or your best friend. It will be one of the hardest decisions of your life and one you never thought you would have to make.

The door swings open as the keys jingle in the door. The sound of feet padding on the ground, wails of glee from the kids. “Mommy! Mama!” Three children yell in unison. Their attention is drawn to the open door. Their bodies smashing into the woman causing them both to laugh before crouching down to their heights. Holding them closely to their bodies. A blonde falling back into the couch with a huff watching on. Green eyes landing on the woman and giving a nod. The blonde nodded back.

The kids pull away and look at the woman. “Where’s Momma?” Natasha asks, her green eyes looking at her son. The boy shuffles a bit with a sad look. “It’s a bad day. Momma called Aunt Yelena to help.” Natasha kisses his head, she knows it is hard for the kids to see you in pain just as much as it hurts her and Wanda. She looks to Wanda who gives her a sad smile. “Have you been good for Aunt Yelena Billy?” She smiles down at him trying to brighten his mood. “The niblets have been just fine.” Yelena interjects from the couch. Natasha raises her brow at the word. “What? I heard it on the tiktok.” Yelena says with a wide grin proud of herself. Natasha rolls her eyes and puts her attention back on the kids. Billy, Tommy, and Alexandra nod along with Yelena. Causing both women at the door to laugh. Wanda kisses Tommy and Alexandra’s head. “Thank you for being good for your Aunt. How about we…” Wanda ponders for a moment. “Pizza for dinner.” The kids erupt in cheers which brings a smile to their faces. “How about you three go play while me and Mama go check on Momma?” The three nod and scurry away. The two women stand up and start making their way towards the bedroom. “Thank you Lena. Are you okay still watching them?” Wanda asks before leaving. Yelena waves her off as the kids pounce on her and she laughs. “I’ll make you some mac and cheese later.” Wanda yells from down the hall. They hear a loud yes from the woman causing them to laugh as they make their way into the bedroom.

It’s dark as they enter the room. They can see your form on the bed cuddled under the blanket. They see your shoulders gently rising and falling as you breathe. You must be asleep as you don’t hear them enter. The woman takes their shoes off before joining you in bed. Wanda slides in behind you, her arms wrapping around you gently, not wanting to cause you any added pain. Natasha shuffles in front of you. Moving your hair from your face. She smiles as you start to blink your eyes open. “Natty? Wands?” You question as your eyes begin to focus on the woman in front of you. Wanda gently kisses your shoulder as Natasha kisses your forehead causing you to let out a small giggle. “ You’re home early.” You say sleepily moving your head to nuzzle into Natasha’s neck. She smiles, running her fingers through your hair. “Mhmm we couldn’t wait to get back to you and the kids so we worked quickly.” Natasha kisses your head again.

“Billy told us you’re having a bad day.” Wanda kisses your shoulder again gently. You let out a small hum. You hate to admit it sometimes but you know your family just wants to help. “How about we get you in a nice hot bath. Yelena is still watching the kids. We can then have a nap with you.” Natasha smiles at you and you nod. “Wands also promised the kids Pizza for dinner and mac and cheese for Yelena.” She chuckles as Wanda pushes her shoulder which causes you to giggle at them.

Natasha and Wanda slide out of the bed causing you to whine at the loss of their bodies. “Shhh detka.” Wanda says softly, helping you up and picking you up into her arms. You wrap your legs around her waist and bury your head in her neck. You let out a small whimper at the movement. “I’m sorry milaya devushka.” She holds you close and you nuzzle into her neck causing her to smile. “N-not your fault.” You mumble in her neck, placing light kisses on her neck. “I know. I just don’t like seeing you in pain.” She kisses your head as she takes you into the bathroom. Natasha is already in there and has started the bath. Wanda sets you down gently before helping remove your clothes. Natasha finishes getting the bath ready with an added bath bomb. Both women take turns stipping down to join you, one always being there to give you support.

Wanda steps in the bath and sits down. Natasha then helps you in. Your back pressing against Wanda’s front before Natasha sinks into the water in front of you. You give Natasha grabby hands and she moves closer to you. The three of you settled into the warm bath. Nothing sexual, just love and understanding between the three of you. After a bit of soaking the woman help wash you and your hair before focusing on themselves.

Once you're all done they help you out and dry you off. Natasha goes and gets clothes for all three of you. She puts you in a pair of her sweatpants and one of Wanda’s hoodies. You inhale the scent of Wanda on the hoodie letting out a content sigh. Natasha then lifts you gently into her arms and takes you to the bed. Helping you before getting in herself. You snuggle up to her and nuzzle into her chest. Wanda sliding in behind you. The moment was so soft and sweet. The women are still kicking themselves for what they did to you all those years ago. Thankful that your kind soul forgave them and gave them another chance to earn your love and affection. Now you're all a big happy family with three beautiful kids that mean the world to you all.

The silence is peaceful as you relax feeling a wave of exhaustion. Natasha breaks the silence, her voice soft and low. “Detka we have some news for you. A surprise of sorts.” You lift your head from her chest and look up at her. A glint of excitement in your eyes as you wait for the woman to continue. She smiles gently before continuing to speak. “That was our last mission.” You sit up slightly ignoring the twinge in your back. “What?” You question. You hope this means what you think it means. “Dorogaya we are retiring. That was our last mission. We want to be here with you and the kids. We are done with that fight, all we want is your love.” You turn to Wanda as she speaks, happy tears filling your eyes. You can’t help as the tears fall and you hug them both tightly. “I love you both so much.” You let the tears fall. Your family is complete and you can all have the life you have always dreamed of. It isn’t what you expected it to be but with these women you can do anything. Over the years they have loved you at your best and at your worst. Stuck by you through every bad day. Your love grows for them every single day that you are together and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Each of them kissing your head. “We love you too.” They say together. “We want to spend the rest of our lives with you. Making up for our wrongs and earning your love.” Natasha gently kisses your lips. “Y-you already have.” You kiss Natasha before turning to Wanda and kissing her. The day started out terrible but the two women you chose to hold your heart one last time have proven that you did in fact make the right choice.

A/n: I know that some if not most will not be happy with my decision to have WandaNat as end game. I went threw a few different idea's and always came back to them. So even if it is hated it is what I wanted in the end. Thanks for reading though.

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hurts2think · 1 month

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Hi! I really liked your profile and every now and then I check to see if you've written anything new. And I'm especially happy to see your love for the queer community!

I'd like to request something for Queen of hearts x fem!reader. Maybe their interaction in the morning after spending the night together. They're not really a couple and it's casual, but you can see that they both care about each other. Some bickering and small sassy remarks towards each other, but still a lot of compliments (both are too stubborn and oblivious to notice the other's feelings). Maybe all this in the context of the famous meme with lesbians doing each other's makeup (because I can't get enough of Rita Ora's brilliant makeup in this movie). Thanks in advance, have a nice day! 💖

🌹The Queen of Hearts x Reader🌹

Reader pronouns: She/her

Pairing: Queen of Hearts x Fem! servant! reader

Plot: Becoming a personal servant for the Queen meant a lot, little did you know it meant waking up in her bed and finding yourself with unexplainable feelings for her

Word count: 1.6k

Extra: Thank you so much you're so sweet😭🫶 it's currently 2 am so this one is kind of a mess but I hope you still love it🎀

When you were first selected for this job, you were honored yet a little horrified. It was a very huge opportunity but the past couple of people who held this job were ‘fired’, which was putting it lightly… You really didn’t have a choice on if you accepted or denied the job. The Queen wanted you so you had to listen.

You thought maybe you’d live a little more comfortably (financially speaking) than the other people of the kingdom before you eventual demise, but never would you have expected for this job to lead up to you waking up in the Queen’s bed.

Being the Queen’s personally assistant meant spending lots of time around her, of course. You did anything and everything she told you too. Running errands for her, fetching anything she may need, helping her dress, and undress, really whatever she didn’t feel like doing.

And she was gorgeous, of course. Everyone knew that. But you were both women so it's not like it was awkward or anything, right? Well, after so many times of helping her in and out of her gowns, it was hard not to look. The Queen was always very observant of everything, so naturally she saw the way you’d fidget and avert your eyes everytime. Then it was like she was purposely trying to make you squirm. One think led to another, and then another, and now you’re laying next to her in her grand bed.

And, well, this wasn’t exactly the first time this had happened.

You stared at the ceiling, really starting to question what has become of your life. The light from the sun started to gently peak through the red tented windows, casting a soft red glow into the room. You turn your head to see a still sleeping Queen, who even looked regal in her slumber with the light reflecting on her perfectly clear skin.

You carefully got up, cautious to not wake her, and grabbed your clothes that had been discarded on the floor the night prior. You changed into your usual attire, preparing to start your day. Better to get a head start before she woke and started to complain about something you hadn’t had time to do yet.

You always secretly wished you had something more with her. Because, as awful as she may seemed, you'd grown quite fond of her. You started to actually care for her outside of the fact you had to. But you knew she could never feel the same. You were tired of the same awkward silence after a long night with her to only pretend nothing happened.

After Bridget woke you helped her get ready for the day. You helped her into her extravagant gown, pulling the corset of the dress perhaps a little too tightly on accident.

"I'm sorry if I'm distracting you, but please do be more careful," she casted a glare at you and you immediately loosened the corset, you face heating up a little.

"Sorry, your majesty." You apologize quietly, fixing the back of her dress and fluffing the skirt of it. She rolled your eyes at your response but didn't say anything else.

Once you were done with her gown she'd demanded you did her makeup as well. Usually she did her own makeup so you weren't sure why she wanted you to do it. But you did so anyway. You stood in front of her as she sat in front of the mirror, carefully applying her intense eyeshadow as she stares at your face intently.

You stay focused and try not to notice the way she was staring at you. You finish her eyeshadow and then pull out one of her various deep red lipsticks that were of course shaped like hearts.

But as you were about to apply the lipstick you felt a hand firmly set on your waist and pulling you into her lap. You let out a small noise of surprise in response, looking her in the eyes as if asking what she was doing.

"I don't know why you must keep your distance, it's not as if I bite." She says, her face as stone cold as ever while her eyes trail on you up and down.

Your eyes narrow ever so slightly as you let out a soft scoff, "We both know that's not true."

She smirks, as if proud of herself in someway in response to your comment.

You gently grab her face to hold her still while you started to apply her lipstick, making her already beautifully colored lips an even deeper red. You bit the inside of your mouth, having a hard time controlling yourself while being so close and sitting in her lap.

"You seem distracted." The Queen states, though it was obvious she was mocking you and knew exactly what she was doing.

You look her in the eyes and give her a look that sceams you want to say something snarky but know you can't. And she loved it. She loved seeing you get frustrated and unable to make any kind of snarky rebuttal.

It was weird the way she found herself becoming attached to you. At first she thought she'd sentence you off like the others, but you've already been around much longer. Then she convinced herself she only admired how much of a diligent woman you were. Then she tried to tell herself she only liked the way you got along with her daughter just fine, something she was never able to do. But it was only so long before she couldn't deny the feelings she felt for you.

After you finished her makeup Bridget was ready for the day. She had court which you weren't actually supposed to attend. So, while she was being carried out on her throne, you were running around the castle and taking on many errands and jobs while she was away. She trusted you with pretty much everything which just meant MORE work for you.

As tired as you were and how you couldn't wait for the day to be over, you still got all of your work done in a quick and efficient manner and a way that would be acceptable for the queen.

A little later in the day, you were finishing up an errand before you returned back to the Queen's side.

You knock on the large double doors to her room before entering, seeing a very stressed Bridget sitting at her desk.

"Ugh, there you are." She only spares one glance at you before turning away again.

You could only suppose that court did not go well. "Do you need anything, your majesty?" You ask, a little too scared to actually ask what was wrong.

But it seemed you didn't need to because she was more than happy to start complaining about how horribly court went,

"I can never understand that girl. It's like she's learned nothing that I've ever taught her! After that indolent solider couldn't even protect my portrait or plaza, Red couldn't even properly punish him. How will she ever be Queen?" She lets out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb.

It wasn't unusual for the Queen to speak of her troubled relationship with her daughter. So you did as you usually did, setting your clipboard aside and coming up beside her and massaging her shoulders. Her body visibly relaxed, closing her eyes and already letting out a little tension.

You stayed silent and like that for a moment before she spoke again, "What should I do about her?"

Your face scrunches in confusion, "You're asking me?" You ask for reassurance. It wasn't very often she asked you for advise. Especially about her daughter. She was the kind of mother that was stuck in her own ways and refused to hear anyone out.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes. She seems to favor you, why is that? Why does she listen to some servant girl and not her own mother?"

You try to ignore the jab she made at you, "Well, if you're asking me... I think she just wants to be in charge of her own life without someone telling her how to live it..." You advise, still rubbing her shoulders to keep her relaxed.

The Queen of Hearts' eyes narrowed, "In charge of her own life? That's ridiculous. She gets to be a queen, what more could she possibly want?"

"Maybe a mother who will listen to her and let her decide what kind of queen she wants to be?" You felt you were getting a little too risky with what you were saying and you'd anger her but her response was not what you'd expected.

She sighed, holding her hand ontop of yours to signal you to stop massaging her. Her touch was surprisingly gentle and soft, "What would I do without you?" She asked though it was purely rhetorical. "Go speak to her about this," the Queen demanded.

You took her hand and held it, walking around to the front of the chair to look her in the eyes, "Maybe she'd appreciate it better if her mother was the one to go talk to her about it?" You suggest.

She rolled her eyes, but stayed silent. She looked at you as if conflicted about something. Really, she was thinking about how amazing you were. Nothing she felt she could ever say. Your hands were so soft, your voice was sweet, you personality was so caring. How could she not fall for you? You were irresistible.

"Fine." She scoffed, "But it will lead to another argument that you will have to clean up again."

You smile softly, taking the Queen of Hearts' hand and pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles, "I'm always happy to."

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aziraphales-library · 7 days

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Hey y'all, first off, thanks for the great work you're doing!

I'm looking for Aziracrow fics with like,, one of them as an FBI agent and the other as art consultant or something like that. I already checked if there's anything in a possible art heist tag, I also looked for crossovers with White Collar, which has a similar premise, and I didn't really find anything. Maybe there's nothing, but I thought maybe you'd have an idea :) Thank you!!

Hello! So, the best I can do is fics in which one of them works in law enforcement of some kind, and the other works in either a different department or completely different job, and they work together in some way. Hope this was the kind of thing you're after!...

Containing Seeds of Destruction by feathereddino (T)

Lower Tadfield is a rural, sleepy little village that is trying to be a town. The crimes that Police Constable A.J. Crowley usually responds to are mundane but never evil. His husband, police psychologist Dr. A.Z. Fell appreciates that their combined caseload reflects that banality. That all changes in 2008 with a call about an abandoned baby. Adam Young's surrender will spark a series of events that will impact their village, their careers, and their personal lives.

What Will Destroy You by EveningStarcatcher (E)

London, 1888 Police Inspector Aziraphale Fell forms an unlikely alliance with Reporter Anthony Crowley to investigate the Whitechapel Murders. Can they solve the mystery and stop the so called Ripper before he strikes again?

Tadfield's Finest by angelsnuffbox (E)

The sleepy town of Tadfield is thoroughly shaken by the arrival of DI Crowley. Where barely anything ever happened before, there is now a bustle of low grade criminal activity, and everyone knows where to point the blame. Gabriel thinks he's a bad omen for the town, many others are quick to agree. Meanwhile, Aziraphale from SOCO just thinks he's hot. Ridiculously so.

and salt the Earth behind you by sunrisesinthesuburbs (E)

Detective (well, Profiler actually, not that anyone seems to care) Aziraphale Fell should have dropped his one and only Criminal Informant the moment he realized he was already falling in love with the man. Alas, he's never had good ideas regarding his self-preservation: when Anthony Crowley calls, he always comes. He will always come. If this wasn't already very bad, his feelings are apparently reciprocated and, in the meantime, his unit has to catch the worst serial killer Washington D.C. has probably ever seen. Crowley has no intention of leaving Aziraphale to deal with this on his own; Aziraphale has no intention of letting Crowley do something stupid just for his sake. Ah, if only love could ever be something easy. “Sometimes I wish I’d met you in a park.” Crowley’s hands move lower, down, down until he reaches Aziraphale’s palms and intertwines their fingers. There isn’t a single chance this gesture can fall under the umbrella of ‘plausible deniability’. Though nothing about this sort of impromptu confession could. “A park, uh? Nice.” A squeeze. “I always imagine something like a library. Or a bookshop or, not sure, whatever place is full of books.”

For His Eyes Only by AFrenchFanWriter (M)

Anthony J. Crowley has been an MI6 spy for 10 years, completing successful mission after successful mission under the guidance of his quartermaster, Aziraphale Fell. But this life is starting to take its toll on him as he is getting older; and when, one day, his past comes back to haunt him, Crowley realizes that it might be time for him to hang up his gun and face all the things he has left unaddressed… (Yep, it is basically a James Bond/Q AU!)

On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller) by RockSaltAndRoll (E)

1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles. Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning. Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5. Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water. Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crimes & criminals #law enforcement #adult omens #mod d

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kooahae · 1 year

Text

After Last Night: Work Visit

Read the previous drabble here.

Read the next drabble here.

Summary : something seems up with Jungkook so you go to his job to cheer him up.

Pairing: best friends to lovers, Jungkook X female reader

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, Big d!ck koo, oral (m.receiving) use of good girl bc well that’s what he called her the first time, office Jk is hot to me- he’s still a simp, cursing, swallowing, deep throating, they're down bad for each other as always <3

Word count: 2.5K

A/N: Before we get a little angst we have this and one more fluff drabble coming out hopefully this week- if not I’ll do my best to lyk when. School is kicking my ass but yeah me and my angsty babies will have our moment. I promise. As always thanks for reading 🩵

Minors DNI

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Today has been so long! Jungkook is beyond exhausted. He didn’t really want to be in the office at all today on top of it. He’s gotten used to working only 2 days in the office, and three at home due to his routine. The thought alone of his routine being disturbed pissed him off. Plus, He has been in serious work mode all week. He hasn’t even been able to just cuddle on the couch. You’ve been asleep the last 2 nights when he got home as well. You cuddle up to him like usual when he climbs into bed but damn, he’d do anything to just have a lazy day and not be in a rush to get up.

Apparently, his employees can’t follow simple directions. He’s been stuck reprogramming a new app for what seems like forever. He swears if it didn’t pay the bills, and If he wasn’t so good at it- He’d find something else to occupy his time. He wishes he got paid for all the times you cross his mind, that would be a lot better than being here -and he’d be filthy rich!

As Jungkook reaches into his pocket for his phone to call you, someone else rips his chance from him.

You have got to be fucking kidding.

“Oh, um..Mr. Jeon I just wanted to ask is it okay if I leave early today?” His assistant asks him.

Jungkook has never been someone who was extremely strict. He knows he’s younger than most of the people working for him and he’s been cool about a lot of things because of that. However, that does not mean they can walk all over him. They take time away from you when they don’t do their job and also add more problems than solutions lately. He’s simply fed up.

“Go into the meeting room and call everyone there please Duri.” He asks nicely, even though he doesn’t know why he keeps being so kind about it.

“Oh…okay sir. Will do. But i-“

Jungkook really doesn’t care. He’s not trying to be mean but today has been a shit show. Things could be going better than this. That’s all he’s hoping for.

“Duri…tell them they have thirty minutes. That means you too.” He points to the door, sitting his feet up on his desk.

His assistant stares blankly, so Jungkook squints, points again and tilts his head.

“By the time you’re done looking at me…There will be zero minutes.” He exhales placing his hands behind his head, as he watches Duri run out.

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Today you’ve decided to bring Jungkook lunch, he seemed so sluggish this morning. He gave you your good morning kisses but you can tell something is up. He didn’t even remember his banana milk. You’ve seen him do a lot of unusual things, but this weirdly enough takes the cake. The last time you even remember him acting like this, was when he swore he bombed an exam -He got the top score in his class, but that’s not the point. Jungkook genuinely only acts like this when there’s more work than he wants to do, or he feels burnt out. You know him the same way you know yourself, if not better. You have been thinking about him heavily today as well. You both could use a day off after this week, but life isn’t always that kind, you’ll just have to make do with your idea today.

You get dressed in a shirt of his since he likes you in them so much, a cute skirt and some shoes. Food and banana milk in tow, making sure you feed Bam on the way out.

Once you arrive you can hear him giving what may be a motivational speech in the conference room. Jungkook is so cool in your eyes. He has his own business at 23, which he started two years ago. His gym side-venture is thriving. You’re almost there with him but not quite yet, starting your own media company is in the works though, and it’s nice to have his support. It still amazes you how Jungkook can make his mind so quickly with business decisions. He’s really intelligent- that’s exactly what you love about him.

You realize you’ve been just standing in the entryway like a creep daydreaming about your boyfriend so you continue to walk forward and get closer to the door.

“Can someone explain to me why everyone thinks they can just leave early while I reprogram everything? “

Oh. That’s why he’s so tired.

You take note that no one responded, so there’s no reason he should have been left to do everything. He’s absolutely right. Your poor baby. you know how much of a perfectionist he is as well. He deserves some rest too though. You decide to keep listening.

“We’re supposed to be a team so I treat you fairly but this isn’t fair…I have someone waiting at home for me too.” He says.

That person is you- and that makes your heart do backflips, the butterflies in your tummy rise, and a smile creep upon your face. You now know why he’s been so out of it lately. He’s doing a lot of hard work, barely gets as much time home as his employees and he just misses spending time with you. You’ll definitely visit work more when he can’t be at home with you if it makes him feel better. You miss him too whenever you’re separated. It’s really refreshing to know he feels the same.

As for Jungkook. His heart is kind of heavy. He knows it hasn’t been that long but he’s really been stressed out lately, the past two weeks at work have been hell and he feels like he can’t catch a break. He just needs to be with you, somewhere he can relax. With someone who is his comfort place.

“Starting today we all do our delegated parts. I do mine. You do yours. We talk to each other about things beforehand that could affect other people’s schedules. Understood?” He asks. You can tell he doesn’t want to be that guy, but he also knows he’s been too nice until now.

“If you do your part I don’t care what you do afterward if you wanna go home so be it. But finish your task.”

He looks so withdrawn and tired. Watching everyone give him a head nod, you decide to just go sit in his office while he dismisses everyone.

He walks in completely irritated and immediately starts patting for his phone but then looks up to see you. Sitting on the loveseat in his office. Smiling and waving hello to him. The sun from the window lightly shines on you. You look like what you are- his angel.

“Hi, handsome!” You stand up and walk towards him.

“You’re really here? Like I’m not going crazy because I missed you?” He says waving his hand in his own face.

He’s always so silly. You hug his waist. Your face in his chest. He immediately hugs back. He doesn’t know how you knew he needed you, but he doesn’t care. He just appreciates the fact that you always show up for him. You always have.

“No, but you’re checking your hand silly to make sure you’re real. Instead, you should be kissing me to make sure I’m real…” you say peaking your head up and poking your lips out.

“You’re so cute. “ He says leaning down to kiss you. Cupping your face in his hand. Lips smacking gently against yours. His kisses are so soft and feel divine.

“I’m. sorry. I’m. not. home. “ he says a kiss between every word.

You pull away and look up at him he’s still holding your face so you place a hand on his forearm.

“Don’t apologize for working. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and I’m even happier to be here with you.” You say and lean back in for another kiss.

“How am I so lucky?” He says as you both finally pull away.

“Makes two of us! I brought you lunch and even brought my laptop too.…”

Jungkook sits in his office chair and you climb on his lap. Straddling him.

He immediately reaches for the remote that closes the blinds. Not that anyone can see his office from where they sit but just in case they thought of approaching him.

You wrap your arms around his neck.

“If you’re gonna be bored and have to be here, let’s be bored and overworked, responsible people together…” You say leaving a kiss on his neck.

“…I can rub your shoulders while you code. You can fill me in on everything I missed this week.”

He hisses at the sensation of your neck kisses. Hands running up and down your sides.

“I really missed you.” He says and puts a finger on your chin to tilt your head to his. Kissing you yet again.

Then he continues. “Don’t want to work, just want to be with you” He’s always pouting, so you do what anyone would do in your situation-Pull his bottom lip in, and suck on it gently then let it go with a pop.

That’s when an idea pops into your head.

Jungkook’s office is spacious, and you can tell he needs to decompress, so maybe you’ll …

“Don’t work then, let me do it.” You say and push the chair back a little bit so you can stand up.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, “ Aren’t you supposed to do your work?”

“I will.” You say and he looks up at you. Standing in front of him with your head tilted- fucking cute, he also takes note of how you made sure to wear his shirt.

“Baby you don’t really like coding… I tried teaching you before unless it’s a blog or something-“ you interrupt him.

You place your hands on his thighs, hovering, still standing, and kissing him.

“If I do a good job on it, we go home.” You state matter of factly. Almost like you’re making a deal, that you know you’ve won.

He chuckles “Who’s work mine or yours?”

“Mmm it’s my task but…” Jungkook watches as your fingers dance closer to his crotch.

“You’re the work.” You finish your statement dropping to your knees.

You love the way he looks at you from above. Biting his lip and tilting his head slightly.

Jungkook raises his hips so you can unfasten the button on his trousers.

“Gotta be quiet princess-oh shitt.”

Jungkook’s head falls back as your hand strokes up and down his length. He knew he was the task- but if you’re about to suck him off here, his work day has had the best turn of events possible.

“I’m gonna make you feel good, okay?” he nods breathlessly, It’s interesting how you both have the same effect on each other.

“Don’t you always.” He says rolling his head forward to watch you. His mouth is drawn out into an ‘O’ shape, You know how much eye contact turns him on and you haven’t broken it yet. He looks fucked out and you’ve barely done anything.

You spit on his dick and move your hands up, your pumps are perfect and have him bring his lip more and more at the sensation.

“Babygirl, I think that’s enough teasing.”

You shake your head no and look up at him through your lashes.

“How can you look at me like that knowing I’ll rip your clothes to shreds if -Fuck.” You don’t mean to interrupt him. You promise. You just really notice all the precum oozing from his tip and can’t help but put your mouth on it. Sucking on the head of his dick like the good girl you’ve shown him you can be. He deserves it though

If you kept teasing him, you knew he would edge you non-stop later as well - and you’re already soaking through your panties.

As you look up at Jungkook once more, you slide his entire length in your mouth at once, His shoulders relax and his hand comes to your hair and moves it out of your face.

He has a thing for visuals, you happen to be his favorite.

You rest at the base and keep your eyes on him as you bob up and down. Jungkook is massive, He’s really impressed that you can take him the way you do, and suck him so effortlessly. All of it makes him hard whenever he thinks about it. This is going to be engraved in his brain forever.

You finally lift up and Jungkook watches the drool from your lips that’s attached to his cock as well.

You moan at the sight of how red, swollen, and slobbery you have his dick, before going back in for more.

Jungkook’s moans have been turning you on, he sounds so good and it’s making you never want to stop as you suck the soul out of him.

You start to moan too, rubbing your thighs together for friction. He just looks so fucking good! You could cum from the visual in front of you as well

“Look at you sucking my dick like a good girl, so fucking pretty!” He says gripping your hair up more so he can enjoy his view.

You go all the way down once more, then tighten your lips as you come back to the head of his dick, moaning so he feels the vibrations go down his shaft.

“Just like that baby.” He says encouraging you.

You continue deep throating him, watching his knees get weaker even though he’s in the chair, he looks like he’s barely holding on. Fully concentrating on the way he looks at you with lusty eyes but can’t contain his moans.

Your hand starts palming his balls as you feel him deep in your throat.

“Fuck baby girl, I’m gonna cum soon- oh my fucking god!” He’s trying his best to be quiet. You really hope his coworkers can’t hear him, but a part of you doesn’t care as long as he feels better.

Jungkook is close and you nonverbally ask him with the look you give him for confirmation, just to double-check. He’s panting and can barely answer you.

“Y-ye-yes baby.” He finally manages to muster out.

You swirl your tongue up and down as you continue deep-throating him. It’s all so sloppy and messy. Your eyes are a little watery too, but you won’t stop until you swallow every last drop.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” His chants and breathing are erratic which means…

Jungkook pushes your head all the way down and bites his lip, looking at you as he cums all down your throat. It’s so warm and thick. You moan and feel his hand slip from your hair to your neck as he pushes himself further one more time.

He pulls all the way out and you gasp but stick your tongue out to show him you’ve swallowed every last drop.

You rise to your feet and sit on his desk, but he stands all the way up and towers over you. Lips brush across yours before he leans into your neck and leaves a kiss right below your ear lobe.

“I’d love to bend you over here but let’s go home. I want to hear you scream.”

You don’t have to be told twice!

So back home you go- the both of you.

Taglist : @joyfulwobblerhoagieegg @diorh0seokie @jennafromhome @taesungx @kimber-kook @whoa-jo @kaiparkerwifes @yoonglesbby07 @bangtansoneyondanfan

#jungkook smut #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook x you #aln x kooahae #after last night x kooahae #aln #aln: the drabbles #bangtan smut

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percyluvr · 7 months

Note

hiii !! could you please do percy x apollo reader where she's like this super sunny girl and everyone thought that her and her ex were perfect together but her ex ends up breaking up with her after losing interest. and maybe the breakup kind of splits everyone into sides because it was healthy but also heartbreaking (and percy, without even knowing, is somehow is her #1 advocate to everyone even if they don't know each other / barely ever talked before) and everyone watches as she slowly loses her spark and stops showing up for things, stays in bed all day, stuff like that and percy suddenly feels her absence and has enough of it and helps her pick up the pieces of her heart. he doesn't really pressure her to date or anything he just tries to be there for her by brightening her mood and teasing her and stuff and eventually he helps her move on from her ex. and like maybe a couple months pass of them being friends but also lowkey more than that and she confesses to him after annabeth or her friend makes her realize that she actually like LIKES percy when she loses it in a mad or a sad way at the sight of him with another girl (and she usually has her emotions in control) but yeah thats basically it !! thank u for reading this :)) hope ur having a good dayy

percy jackson x daughter of apollo!reader summary: your boyfriend breaks up with you and percy becomes your #1 defender, falling in love with you in the process wc: 4286

You, along with pretty much everyone else at camp, thought that your relationship was perfect. Being with your boyfriend was like a fairytale to you, but apparently it wasn't for him.

"Hey, so um, thanks for meeting me. I hope this isn't too random, but I just don't think our relationship is working anymore, and I think you feel it too," he says, looking into your eyes. If you weren't so in love with him, you probably would've smacked the crap out of him for this. You'd never been happier in your relationship, and he thought it wasn't working? You weren't quite sure if you were mad or sad in this moment.

"Oh. If that's what you think, then I agree," you reply, sadly smiling at him, trying to pretend that your heart wasn't breaking into a million little pieces.

"Alright, I still really like you and I hope we can be friends still," he says, and you know that he's saying it without malicious intent because he really is a good guy, which makes you even more frustrated.

"Sure, of course we can."

He gives you a hug and tells you to have a good day.

How are you supposed to have a good day when you just got dumped by the love of your life? You genuinely wished you could be mad at him, but he was just such a genuine and nice guy that you couldn't. You know that he only said it out of the good of his heart and because he didn't want the relationship to actually go downhill, but you were still frustrated and sad.

As if your day wasn't bad enough already, news of your breakup had already spread throughout camp, and everyone was looking at you with sympathetic looks. You had hoped to the gods that you could go at least a day before this happened, but of course not.

You got your food and sat down at your table, your siblings immediately crowding around you and asking you questions and trying to comfort you. You could hear people at the other tables talking about the breakup, and from what you could hear, people were taking "sides" in your breakup, even when they thought it was mutual.

"Hey, I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry, but we're all here for you, okay?" You hear one of your sisters say, but it doesn't really register. At this point, you feel numb, and you aren't really hearing anything people are saying anymore.

Later that day, you're sitting by the river, small sniffles being all you can manage to muster up after crying your heart out for the last 45 minutes. You're looking out at the water, thinking about what went wrong, when you hear footsteps approaching.

"Are you okay?" You hear an unfamiliar voice ask.

You don't even bother looking up. It's probably just another person here to tell you how they're on your side.

"No, but it's fine," you reply.

The person sits down next to you, and you finally look over, finding Percy Jackson sitting to your right.

He looks back at you, "hey, I'm Percy. Sorry if I'm interrupting, but I was just coming over to swim and I heard you crying."

"No, it's fine. I don't own the beach," you weakly laugh. "My boyfriend broke up with me today, if you're wondering why I'm crying."

"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm really sorry that happened to you, you seem really sweet."

"Thanks, but it's okay. He wasn't rude about it or anything, just said that he didn't think our relationship was working and that he hoped he could still be friends," you muttered.

He makes a sympathetic sound then says, "that's almost worse. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that, especially if the person is genuine."

"Yeah, it really broke my heart. He was so genuine about it, and that's what really hurt. He still cares about me but he just doesn't love me anymore," your voice cracks in the middle of your sentence, and you look back at the water.

"Jeez, that seriously sucks. But hey, I'm sure it's not you that was the problem, maybe what he wanted in a relationship just changed?" It sounded like he was going to say more, but you made a sob-like sound and he immediately shut his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm really not good at this," he says awkwardly after a moment of silence.

"It's okay. If it helps, I do feel a bit better at least. You're not as bad as you think you are," you look over at him and he's already looking at you.

The two of you talk a bit more, before you excuse yourself to your cabin, not telling him why, but he suspected that you were going to cry more, and it made him sad to see you like this.

The two of you weren't friends, you were barely even acquaintances, but Percy now felt responsible for defending you. Every time he overheard a conversation where people were taking your ex-boyfriend's side, he would walk over there and set them straight, telling them how great you were and how the breakup wasn't your fault at all, and he should've been grateful to have you, even though the breakup wasn't messy at all.

People started to joke that he was the leader of your fan club, which secretly made him feel all weird inside. At the time he didn't know what he was feeling, but when he looked back at it, he knew that this was when he started to fall in love with you.

If, even a month ago, someone would've told Percy that the girl he'd always had a tiny crush on would've been single, and he was now openly defending you like his life depended on it, he would've first told them there's no way you did anything wrong, so what was he even defending you from? And second, he absolutely does not have a crush on you. Lastly, he would ask if you were really single, but not that he was asking for himself, he was definitely asking for a friend.

"Dude, you need to calm down defending her. She's not gonna let you hit just because you're taking her side," some camper makes the mistake of saying to his face.

"What the hell is your problem? Not everyone is trying to get a girl to 'let him hit.' Some of us are just decent human beings defending our friends," Percy says, before promptly soaking the guy in water and walking away.

This incident was just one of many where a camper makes the mistake of talking bad about you. At this point, he was one of the two people at camp that didn't know he was falling for you. You were the other, obviously, because how could you know someone else was in love with you when you were busy wallowing in your sorrows in your cabin?

About a week after you were broken up with, you began to distance yourself from all of the activities at camp, including the ones that once brought you so much joy. You'd never thought of yourself to be someone that would drown in their own sorrows, but then again, you'd never really experienced anything that would've proved yourself otherwise.

So, here you were, cuddled up in bed under about 5 blankets, mascara stains under your eyes, a box of tissues next to you, and another romcom on the TV, when you could've been outside doing archery or in the infirmary gossiping with your siblings like you would've done before the breakup. Your heart was aching so badly that you could barely even wake up in the morning. After your talk with Percy, you thought that it was easing up, even though that was only hours after the breakup actually happened, but you couldn't have been more wrong.

After a few days of this behavior from you, Percy was sick of it. He was sick of not being able to see you, and he was sick of you being sad. He went to the Stoll brothers and asked them to smuggle some ice cream in for him, as well as a stuffed animal and paid them extra to do it as fast as they could.

Every few hours, your siblings and friends would come into the cabin and check up on you, sometimes staying to watch a movie or two with you before leaving again and telling you to come get them if you needed anything. You heard the door to the cabin open again. Thinking it was just another one of your siblings, you ignored it and continued watching your movie. What you didn't expect was for Percy Jackson to be standing in front of you mere seconds later.

"Hey, I'm sorry it took me so long to stop by. I brought some ice cream, I don't know if it'll help or if you even like this flavor, but I thought it might help," he says, an awkward smile on his face, awaiting a response.

"Oh, well, thank you," you say, wiping your face, now slightly embarrassed about the mascara that was staining it.

"Hey, don't worry about the mascara, I get it. Well, I don't get it get it, but y'know what I mean, right?"

You let out a small laugh. "Yes, Percy, I get what you mean."

"Oh! I also brought this teddy-bear. It's the sunshine care bear, 'cause you're an Apollo kid," he smiles.

"Aww, thank you so much, Percy. It means a lot to me. Do you want to stay and watch movies with me?" You ask, desperately hoping he'll say yes.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I'd love to," he replies.

You scoot over in the bed, patting the spot next to you, signaling Percy to sit down, and he obliges.

"So, what are we watching?" He asks.

"Well, I'm starting to run out of romcoms, so I've started to rewatch some. We're about to watch 10 Things I Hate About You," you say with a smile.

"What's it about?"

You explain the plot, and he listens with genuine interest.

This situation happens a few more times, before he finally asks you if you're ready to come back to camp activities. He doesn't add that he misses you when he's out there, but he desperately wants to. He refrains from any flirting because he doesn't want to pressure you, but it kills him to not be able to tell you how much he already likes you, even after just a few days of hanging out with you.

You tell him yes, and you'll be back to doing your activities tomorrow, to which he's overjoyed. He's never been happier in his life, and the two of you aren't even dating. Even when you are ready to date, if you still don't like him, he realizes that he would be happy just to be your friend.

When you're back to your regular responsibilities at camp, you realize just how much you've missed it. It takes a bit before you get back into the ropes of archery, but one wouldn't say you were bad. As an Apollo kid, you could never really be bad at archery, which you appreciated. Once you'd gotten the hang of it again, you realized how much you missed it. Archery had always been relaxing to you, not just because you were a daughter of Apollo. Even before you'd come to camp, your mother had you in archery lessons, and you'd enjoyed it even then. You were fully concentrating until you heard a familiar voice calling to you.

"Hey, I'm glad you're back out here. It's so good to have you back," Percy says, pulling you into a hug, the very first hug the two of you had ever shared. It was surprising at first, but you quickly melted into it.

"Yeah, I'm so glad to be back out here. I missed it so much. I owe you so much for getting me out of that bed, I was miserable."

He blushes. "Nah, it's fine. I knew you would feel better being out here, you love it too much to stay holed up in there, even if those romcoms were good," he jokes.

"Right? I knew you liked them," you say with a smile. "But yeah, you're right. I love being out here with everyone, and I love archery too much to give it up to cry over a boy."

He solemnly nods. "Yeah, I just can't tell you enough how good it is to see you out here. You look so much better, y'know? Your skin is like, glowing again."

You smile. "Thank you," you're about to say more when you hear a voice, specifically a voice belonging to the last person you wanted to see right now.

"Hey! It's good to see you out here," your ex-boyfriend says casually, as if he didn't rip your heart in two and cause you to become a hermit for 2 weeks straight. Percy gives him the nastiest look you've ever seen in your life, and try your best to contain your laughter, but you end up letting out a weird choked sound which earns you a smile from Percy and a weird look from your ex-boyfriend.

"Sorry, swallowed wrong," you say to him.

"Oh, alright?" He says confusedly, before trying to give you a hug, to which you not-so-accidentally swerve. He raises his eyebrow and you shrug.

"Uh, anyways. Yeah, good to see you too," you say before walking away with Percy, leaving your ex-boyfriend standing there confused. You didn't mean to be so rude, but you really couldn't stand being in the same vicinity as him right now.

The next day, you're in the infirmary, gossiping and laughing with one of your sisters, when Percy walks in, clutching his arm. You immediately get up, speed-walking over to where Percy is now standing.

"Hey, what happened?" You asked him, ushering him over to one of the beds.

"Was just doing some practice sword-fighting with your ex-boyfriend and he stabbed me right in the arm. I would've just gone to the ocean and healed it with the water, but I wasn't sure if it would heal this," he says before moving his hand from the deep gash on his bicep.

"Oh sweet Apollo, that was not an accidental stab. Sit here, put your hand back over it, I'll be back in a second," you say before rushing off to collect some supplies.

When you come back, you see Percy sitting with his eyebrows furrowed, muttering some unsavory things under his breath.

"Here, give me your arm," you request, to which he obliges.

You gently wrap his arm with gauze, noticing how intimate your position was and feeling awkward. You didn't want to mention it, not knowing if Percy felt the tension too. You tried to finish up as quickly as possible, hoping the awkward atmosphere would vanish. Unfortunately, it did not. When you finished, you noticed that Percy was staring at you with a weird look in his eyes.

"Um, I'm done, if it still hurts, I can get you some painkillers," you say, scratching the back of your head awkwardly.

Apparently, this breaks him out of his strange trance, and he nods.

"Yeah, uh, painkillers would be good," he replies, still in a slightly dazed state.

You rush out of the room as quick as you can, trying to avoid his gaze. When you were browsing the painkillers trying to find the best for his situation, you kept replaying the scene in your mind. You were trying not to be delusional, but you swore that when you caught Percy staring at you, he started to blush. You pushed it out of your thoughts and brought the medicine to him.

"Take two to four of these every six hours, and the pain should be gone in about two to three days," you said, handing him the container.

He nodded. "Okay, thank you. Maybe you can prescribe some pills to calm your ex down or something," he joked.

You laughed softly. "I wish we had any that would help. Just try to stay away from him. The breakup was his idea so I really don't get what his problem is," you say.

Percy shrugs, and the conversation ends.

Over the next few weeks, you see Percy in the infirmary more than you've seen him there in the past 4 years combined, which is odd, but you don't really think much of it. The injuries are all very small, and he could definitely heal most, if not all with water, but you don't comment on this, as you've really been enjoying having Percy's company during the day.

A few months pass on, and it's another slow day at the infirmary. You're talking with your sister and drinking lemonade, when something outside catches her attention.

"Hey, do you mind if I leave for today? I saw my man walk past just now. I'm thinking today is the day I confess!" Your sister tells you.

"Yeah, sure. I doubt anyone else will come in today anyway. Go get him, girl!" You encourage.

She basically runs out of the infirmary, making you laugh.

A few minutes later, Percy is back. You weren't expecting him back today, as he'd already been here this morning, but he was always welcome.

"Hey, Percy. What happened now?" You ask.

"Oh, I'm fine. A bunch of other people are going to the beach later, and I was just wondering if you were going to be there," he says shyly.

"Hm, I guess it really wouldn't hurt. When did they say they'd be there?"

"Uh, they said they were planning to go in around 30 minutes, I think," he replies.

"I mean, there's no one else scheduled to be at the infirmary today, but it's pretty slow today, so I guess it'd be fine," you conclude.

"Alright, awesome, cool. I'll see you there then," he said before rushing out. You looked out the window and the sight of him jumping up and down and cheering made you laugh harder than you'd laughed in a long time. He looked back through the window and saw you already looking at him. He gave you a pained look and ran off.

"Wow, I sure choose normal people to be friends with," you mutter to yourself before writing a note and putting it on the infirmary door saying that it'd be empty for the rest of the day. You went to your cabin and began changing into your swimsuit. You put a pair of jean shorts and a yellow tank top on over your swimsuit and grabbed a towel.

You talked to your siblings that were in the cabin for a bit before heading down to the beach. You spotted Percy sitting on his towel, looking at everyone else that was swimming. You put your towel down next to his and sat down.

"Hey waterboy, whatcha lookin' at?" You asked.

"Nothing really, was just waiting for you so we can swim," he says, smiling over at you.

"Alright, let's go then," you say, taking off your shorts and tank top as Percy watches, not noticing how intensely he was staring until you cleared your throat.

"Are you going to just sit there and stare at me, or are you gonna come with me to the water?" You teased, causing him to blush a deep red.

He immediately takes off his shirt, revealing his toned abdomen, which you should've expected, he was a swimmer after all. You were in awe, but he spoke up, "now look who's staring."

He grins at you before grabbing your hand and running to the water. Your shorter legs had a hard time keeping up with him, but you somehow managed.

The two of you splashed and swam until the water began to get cold. You both raced back to the towels, bundling up and sitting on the beach.

"Hey, we're going to have a bonfire, if you guys want to come," Connor Stoll says to you and Percy.

"Yeah, sounds cool," Percy replies for the both of you.

"Alright man, awesome. We're going now, so."

You and Percy grab your stuff and follow Connor to the campfire.

As the sun sets, you're all chatting and roasting marshmallows.

"Hey, Perce. Thanks for inviting me, and thank you for helping me get over my break up. We weren't even really friends before and you still helped me. I don't know what I would've done without you," you confess.

"Yeah, yeah. It's no problem. I mean, you're really sweet, and I'm glad to call you my friend now, too."

You smile, and spend the rest of the night quietly talking to Percy, which catches Annabeth's eye.

The next day, you hear a knock on your cabin door. You open the door to probably the last person you would expect to be there, Annabeth Chase.

"Hey, what's up? Who're you here for?" You ask.

"You," she says, causing your eyebrow to raise.

"It's nothing bad, at least, not for me."

"Uh, okay," you say, stepping out of your cabin and closing the door behind you.

Annabeth sits down on the steps, and you follow.

"So, I noticed you and Percy last night at the bonfire," she says with a small smirk on her face.

She must've seen the confused look that flashed across your face, because she laughs. "You two were all over each other, I swear. You two are so in love it makes me sick. There's no way neither of you have noticed this. I'm not even going to bother bringing it up to Percy because he has seaweed for brains, I swear. But you're smart, so I'm saying this to you. You two like each other, and it's physically paining everyone else at camp to see you two pining over each other like idiots. Please, for the love of the Gods, tell him how you feel, because I guarantee he feels exactly the same. That's all."

If there was any time to take a bow, it would've been after that speech, you think.

"Well, after that I guess I have no other choice," you joke.

This seems to satisfy her, because she gets up and pats you on the shoulder before walking away and wishing you luck.

Later that day, you decide that you're going to tell Percy how you feel, consequences be damned. I mean, if Annabeth Chase is telling you to do something, you better do it.

That night, you're standing in front of the Poseidon Cabin, mustering up all your courage to go inside and confess your feelings to Percy. You open the door, and all your confidence that you had conjured up fizzles right out when you see Percy sat on the floor talking to some girl that you didn't know the name of. His eyes catch yours, and you feel the tears forming. You turn around and run out as fast as you can, not caring how crazy you look running through the camp and crying. When you finally reach the beach, you sit down. You didn't expect Percy to follow you, so when you heard footsteps and heavy breathing, you jump up and scream.

"Hey, woah, you're very fast," Percy says in between heavy breaths.

"What do you want?" You ask, tearing streaming down your face.

"Wait, what's wrong?" He asks, clueless.

The question only makes you cry harder.

"Hey, c'mon, don't leave me in the dark, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, and I guess that's all we'll ever be," you snap.

"What are you talking about?"

"Percy, please," you say, exasperated.

"I don't know what you're talking about, okay. Please just explain."

"Okay, fine," you say, trying to control your crying. "I was going into your cabin to tell you that I like you. No, I don't just like you, I love you, Percy. That's what I was going to tell you. But then I saw you in there with that girl, and it upset me, but at least now I know you don't like me back, so that's awesome."

"Hey, hey, slow down now. Who ever said that I don't like you back?"

"What?"

"You just said that I don't like you back, but I never said that, okay?"

"But what about that girl?" You ask.

"She's from the Aphrodite Cabin, she was helping me figure out how to tell you that I like you. No, I love you," he says your name, and you feel the blood rush to your cheeks.

"Oh," you say, now feeling extremely stupid.

"Yeah."

"Well, um. I'm sorry for freaking out on you," you manage to squeak out.

"Hey, it's fine, okay? I probably would've done the same thing if I was you, don't worry about it," he says, grabbing your hand in between his two larger ones.

"So, um, what now?" You ask.

"Well, we could always kiss," he jokes, not expecting you to actually say yes.

When he feels your full lips on his, he feels like crying, and he thinks he actually does, if the salty taste in his mouth is any sign.

You kiss for what feels like hours, breaking apart for air.

"So, uh, what would you rate that kiss out of 10?" He jokingly asks, breaking the silence.

"Um, probably a 9. But I could rate more accurately if I got to experience it again," you say, and he immediately takes you up on this, crashing your lips together in a somehow more passionate kiss than before.

a/n: okay so i DEFINITELY went crazy with this, but it was just such a good request so thank you saur much and i hope you like this !! i tried to follow it as closely as possible but i got kinda carried away on some parts,, this is also the longest fic i've ever written on this app so do with that what u will

#pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #pjo series #pjo x reader #percy jackson #percy jackson fic #pjo x you #percy jackson imagine #book percy jackson #i need him biblically #i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism #hes so pretty #please please please #there is nothing i wouldnt give to be with him

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tonicandjins · 2 years

Text

eyes tell

characters: haechan/female reader genre: fluff, confession word count: 3.9k summary: donghyuck has been trying to confess his feelings to you. third time's the charm, he thinks.

Note: nothing but donghyuck brainrot for valentine's ^_^

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

DONGHYUCK KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THE HOLIDAYS—the fairy lights surrounding every place in Gangnam, the Christmas songs playing in every corner of SM Entertainment (courtesy of every EXO Christmas album ever), the sound of kids singing Christmas carols—and he thinks it’s the best time to confess.

It’s a foolproof plan: all he had to do is take you somewhere under a mistletoe, look up and pretend he didn’t know there was one, show it to you, and VIOLA! A kiss under a mistletoe!

However, three hours into the small party the crew members threw for both NCT Dream members and the crew themselves, Donghyuck realizes it’s better said than done. He couldn’t, for the life of him, keep you in his space alone for more than two minutes. People are always pulling you from him—either to ask you to get something for someone or hand you a small Christmas present—and you are always too nice (too kind, oh, be still Lee Donghyuck’s beating heart) to say no.

Sulking, Donghyuck decides to settle on the couch, sitting between Jeno and Jaemin who are arguing about a stupid game they were playing earlier in the night. Donghyuck knows he’s pouting, and he’s pouting really hard hoping you would glance his way and kiss the pout out of his lips. Perhaps if he whines along that cute pout of his, you would hear and come running towards him and call him cute. But none of those happen because, of course, Mark Lee and Park Jisung are hogging you for themselves.

Donghyuck even wore a hoodie with your favorite color so he could catch your eyes tonight, yet here he is: stuck between Jeno and Jaemin who wouldn’t stop debating over everything and nothing at once.

It’s Renjun, bless his heart, who notices Donghyuck sulking while he watches you laugh with Jisung and Mark. Chuckling at Donghyuck’s distress, Renjun pulls him by the hand towards the small table where the sweets are.

“Let me guess,” Renjun starts as he offers a chocolate-covered strawberry to Donghyuck. Donghyuck pries his mouth open to take a bite, eyes still on you. “You’re sulking because she’s not giving you attention.”

“I wore something cute for her,” Donghyuck says while chewing. “But she won’t give me a second of her damn day.”

“It’s because you’re not trying enough,” Renjun answers. “What does she like most about you?”

“Does she even like me?” Donghyuck contemplates.

Renjun laughs, “Of course, she does!”

“Don’t,” Donghyuck whines. “Don’t keep my hopes up. It’ll break my heart.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Renjun assures. “Come on. Think about it. What does she like most about you?”

Donghyuck thinks as far as his memories allow him. You’ve told him a million times how much you like him—love him, even—and Donghyuck could only hope to become as vocal as you are when it comes to how you feel towards people.

One time, you told him about how easily he could make people gravitate towards him and how much you like his innate talent in grabbing people’s attention (which apparently doesn’t include you because here you are now, giving him 0 attention). Another time, you admitted loving how much he adores and cares for his family—specifically for his younger siblings—and you wish you had someone like him in your family (Donghyuck doesn’t want you to think of him like family, like a brother, damn it. He wants to kiss you on the lips).

Just as Renjun was about to say something, Chenle grabs everyone’s attention by testing the mic from the karaoke the crew had prepared for everyone.

“You know I love you, right?” Donghyuck remembers you asking in a drunken haze that one night you and him drank your guts out two days after his 22nd birthday. Donghyuck remembers nodding, but not truly realizing you had meant it. “I think I love you more and more whenever you sing. Sing for me please.”

Donghyuck remembers singing softly to your ears that night, and he realizes that’s what you probably like most about him.

Hence, he takes the mic from Chenle and enters the code to the first song that comes to his mind. As soon as he starts singing, he notices your attention back to his eyes. Donghyuck smiles in triumph, winking at you as he sings his heart out.

“Express your love four times a day, laugh eight times, kiss me six times,” Donghyuck sings his heart out. “It’s the only password to my heart, No one else can know it, only you can have me, you are my secret, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl!”

When it’s done, Donghyuck finally, finally sees you approaching him. Chenle takes the mic back from him and Donghyuck doesn’t even mind.

“Hello, Ms. Everyone’s Friend, you’ve finally noticed me,” Donghyuck jokes.

“Hey, as soon as you came here I hugged you,” you protest. “Not my fault all your friends like me. Hey, do you have a second?” you ask like Donghyuck wouldn’t give up anything for you.

He nods (a little too quick, a little too obvious), and lets you pull him by the sleeve of his hoodie, taking him to a small storage room, far from the noise and small crowd. Donghyuck isn’t aware of your proximity until you whisper a small hi.

“Hi,” Donghyuck says back, smiling as he look down on you, eyes locked in yours. “What are we doing here?” he whispers.

“I wanted to give you my gifts,” you whisper back. “I didn’t get the others a gift and I really don’t want them to feel upset that I only got something for you.”

“Y/N, my dear, what makes you think I’m not going to brag whatever you have for me on a daily basis?” he asks, chuckling as he watches you take a small box from your pocket of your hoodie.

“I figured you probably already have everything and this is something you can most likely afford to buy ten times, but…” you trail off. Even under the small light bulb, Donghyuck could see the blush on your cheeks.

He takes the small box from your hand, and it’s a box from a luxury brand, Donghyuck suddenly realizes he didn’t get anything for you for Christmas. He opens the present, and it’s that famous Thomas Trench bear bag charm from Burberry.

“He reminded me of you,” you mutter shyly. “You can put it on your hand carry bag whenever you travel. I mean, you’re going on tour with NCT 127, and like I said, it’s nothing big, like I said, you could probably buy this ten times, like I sai—”

“Y/N.” Donghyuck is going to kiss you now. He wraps an arm around your waist, caressing your back as he pulls you close.

“Donghyuck,” you whisper. You look up. Donghyuck does, too, and who would have known? A mistletoe right above the both of you.

Just when Donghyuck is about to lean in, of course—of fucking course, Park Jisung.

“Y/N noona, Renjun is about to sing your favorite song, aren’t—am I interrupting?”

You jump back from Donghyuck’s arm, looking at Jisung, then at Donghyuck, then back to Jisung, who’s still holding the door open.

“No, no,” you stutter a few seconds later. “I’m coming.”

You don’t look back at Donghyuck and follow Jisung.

Park Jisung is so going to get beaten up.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

His second attempt came out of nowhere, unlike the first time he decided he’d confess and finally ask you out.

Donghyuck is in the hospital, and he feels like it’s the shittiest day of his life because it most likely is. They were in the middle of a schedule promoting Candy, and just when the music show was over, Donghyuck’s body failed him. His chest started hammering like crazy, and he had always thought this was normal because it happens to him all the time, until it started to hurt and his body started shaking unceasingly. The medics were quick to get to him as soon as Mark shouted for help. Donghyuck doesn’t really recall much of what happened; all he knows is that his body just collapsed and Jeno and Jaemin helped carry him so he could be transferred to a stretcher and that Renjun was on his phone already calling his Mom, probably because he knows Donghyuck would want them to call his Mom.

When Donghyuck wakes, hazy from the oxygen and the dosages of medicine they’d put through his dextrose, feeling adhesive patches stuck on his chest, he sees you sitting beside him. You’re on your phone, and you quickly bid goodbye to whoever you were speaking with as soon as you see him open his eyes.

“Donghyuck, baby, how are you feeling?” you ask, holding his hand. Donghyuck’s throat is dry so all he could muster up is a nod. “Your Mom and sister went out for a minute to get something to eat. I’ll call the doctor real quick.”

Before you could stand, Donghyuck reaches out to weakly grab your wrist, keeping you still on your seat.

“What is it, my love?” you ask. The influx of nicknames is making his heart hammer against his chest, and it’s proven when the cardiac event recorder starts beeping like crazy behind him. “Donghyuck, calm down. They’re trying to stabilize your heartbeat. I’ll call the doctor.”

“I love you,” Donghyuck barely whispers.

“Oh, baby,” you softly coo. “I love you, too. Now please let me get someone to check on you.”

Donghyuck can’t remember much after that. He could hear his Mom nagging in his ear, something about pacing and how he should really calm down. His sister was just whining in the background, saying that the expensive shit he buys for them aren’t worth it if it means they find him in the hospital multiple times a year. He reckons it’s the dosages of medicine that makes him hazy, but everything else are all blurred and toned down. While he lies on bed, high on oxygen, all he could see clearly is you—the worried look on your face and just the way your eyes are glued to him—and all he could think of is maybe love isn’t all about a big, grand confession one makes an effort to prepare for.

Perhaps love can be as quiet as the way he said I love you, hand weakly holding your wrist, voice barely audible. Perhaps love can be as simple as being there on days as quiet as this.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

The third time Donghyuck musters up the courage to tell you about his feelings is about two months later, when NCT Dream just won the grand prize for a prestigious awards show.

He finds you in the crowd as they perform, and you’ve always been the kind to easily blend in the crowd, wearing your usual crew fit, a lanyard with your ID labeled as NCT Dream’s staff allowing you all access to wherever he is, but Donghyuck’s made it a habit to make sure you know that you stand out whichever crowd you try to blend in. Tonight, Donghyuck winks exactly at your direction when he sings the words to their hit songs, and he does it multiple times, making sure you’re as affected as he is whenever your presence is within a mile radius.

They’re on their way back to the dormitories. Tonight, Donghyuck is staying at NCT Dream’s dorm and will most likely share a bed with Jisung. He had a schedule the next day for 127’s fansign, but he doesn’t have much energy left and would rather share a bed than go back to the other dorm.

You sit on the back of the van with him, and by default your hand intertwines with his as soon as the lights and cameras are out. Donghyuck is so, so, so tired and happy, but he keeps himself cool and calm because he doesn’t need a part two of the hospital scene during the promotions for Candy. But Lord Jesus, what can he do when your first instinct as soon as you and him are out of people’s sight is to hold his hand? You know how much he loves holding hands. You might as well kiss him now if you’re planning his doom.

The other members are quiet. Donghyuck could hear Renjun snoring already.

Gently, you massage the back of Donghyuck’s hand, and seconds later, he could feel your lips softly kissing his fingers, humming the tune to one of the songs playing at the venue before the team left. Donghyuck smiles, content with the way his heart flutters at your actions.

“Y/N,” Dream’s manager asks while he takes a turn, his hands tightly holding the steering wheel. “Shall I drop you off at your building?”

“Yes, please,” you answer. “You know where it is, right?”

The manager hums and makes eye contact with Donghyuck through the rearview mirror. “Donghyuck.”

“Hm?”

“If you want to stay over at Y/N’s, you can. I’ll have someone pick you up at six in the morning tomorrow.”

“Really?” Donghyuck gasps, a little too loudly because Renjun groans as soon as he does. “Sorry. Will you really let me stay over?”

“Unless Y/N says no, then it should be fine. You deserve it,” the manager answers. Donghyuck turns to you, eyes pleading, as if you’d say no.

“As if I’d say no,” you parrot whatever he had in mind.

Donghyuck happily (but quietly) cheers.

“No funny business, Haechan,” the manager reminds as soon as the car stops in front of the building you live in. “Be ready at six in the morning.”

“I love you, hyung,” Donghyuck pouts, sending the manager a flying kiss, before opening the door and jumping, offering his hand to help you. “Thank you. I won’t stay up and I will wake up early.”

The other members mumble a quiet, tired bye-bye, and it seems like only Donghyuck has enough energy left to even tell each member he loves them. Their manager allows you and him to enter the building first before Donghyuck hears them drive away.

It doesn’t hit Donghyuck that it’s his first time staying over for a night until he hears you lock the door and he gets a full view of your place. His confidence runs low when you start removing your coat and shoes, realizing that holy shit, this is real. He’s really staying the night at the love of his life’s safe place. Will you let him sleep on the same bed? Probably not, what is he even thinking? Of course, he’s sleeping on the floor, and you’re taking the bed. Why does he thi—

“Donghyuck, stop thinking and get rid of your shoes,” you interrupt his thoughts as your enter the small living room area, switching some lights on one by one. “Go take a shower.”

Donghyuck nods, following you while he carries his backpack of necessities. You lead him to the bathroom and tell him you’ll prepare the bed.

When Donghyuck is left alone, he decides that this would be the best time to confess to you, the only time he really can because you’re all alone and there’s no Park Jisung to interrupt your bubble. He starts the shower and composes his thoughts, thinking about the most beautiful words he could string so he could put the message across.

When he’s done, his mind is all fogged up just like the mirror in your bathroom. He hears you knock, asking if he’s done yet because you would also need to shower. He puts his clothes on, a shirt and some sweatpants, drying his hair with the spare towel you prepared for him, and opens the door to find you smiling softly as you wait for him. He steps out and allows you in, finding his feet padding on your warm floor.

“Please make yourself comfortable,” you say before locking the bathroom door. Donghyuck hums.

The door of your bedroom is already open when he reaches it. Donghyuck is suddenly so conscious of his presence inside your safe place, inside the privacy of your home. He’s never been here, and didn’t think this day would come so soon. He doesn’t know where to sit, if he’s even allowed to sit on your bed, and is not sure whether this is okay suddenly.

Your room is almost the same size as the one he shares with Johnny in the dorm. He finds your computer setup in the corner of the room, a small shelf of your favorite books displayed right beside it. He sees a vinyl turntable on top of the small shelf, and he makes a mental note to buy you a record the next time he visit a record store.

Donghyuck honestly doesn’t know what to do, so he settles himself on the swivel chair and takes his phone as he waits for you.

The sound of the shower running stops and the sound of what seems like a hairdryer echoes from the bathroom; it doesn’t take that long until you’re entering your bed room, hair still a little damp from the shower.

“What are you doing? I told you to make yourself comfortable,” you mutter as you enter, brushing your hair, yawning a little. Donghyuck looks up from the TikTok video he’s watching.

“I—I didn’t know if we’re staying on the same bed or, or, like…”

You giggle, walking towards him. “Oh, Donghyuck, you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you sleep on the floor.”

“So, like, we’re—we’re like sharing? The bed? Together, I mean.”

A look of surprise, more like confusion, flashes on your face. “Oh, is it not okay? If not, then we—I can, the living room, well, there’s a couch, and perhaps—?”

A second of silence.

Donghyuck starts laughing, and you do, too.

“We’re awful at this,” he comments, you agree and offer your hand. “How do you want this, my lady?”

“The bed has enough room for you and me,” you answer. “Come on, Donghyuck-ah. Let’s sleep.”

Donghyuck pulls you close, and you hold onto him like magnets connecting. Kissing the top of your head, he hums in content as you hug him tighter, your face nuzzled comfortably on his chest. You kiss his cloth-covered chest and make a comment about him buffing up especially on his chest area.

“Taeyong-hyung forces me to go to the gym. I’m glad you noticed,” Donghyuck jokes as you pull him towards the bed after switching the main light off, leaving the small light from your side table on. Donghyuck takes the right side and, as if you’ve been doing this for a long time, allows you to comfortably rest your head on his chest.

“Congratulations again,” you mumble sleepily. “You were so handsome on stage. I was about to fall on my knees.”

“Thank you, I made an effort to keep your attention on me. The entire venue was screaming for Jaemin. I need at least one person to keep their eyes on me,” he jokes.

“The world is your stage, Donghyuck,” you reply, voice softer. “You have everyone’s attention.”

“Some days, I only want yours.” This is it. This is when Donghyuck confesses and tells you about his undying love and how much he wants a future with you.

“You have mine every day,” you mutter, voice barely audible.

Hold on, God, are you really falling asleep before he could confess?

“I lo—Y/N, I’m having a moment. Please let me have this moment. Can you stay awake?”

“No,” you mumble. “Night.” Barely there.

“Wow,” Donghyuck sighs in disbelief. “You’re really sleeping when I’m about to give you my entire heart.”

Donghyuck hears you hum. Fuck it.

“I really,” he starts. “Really, really, really, really, really, really.”

He inhales, waiting. No response.

“I really, really, really love you.” There. No reaction.

“I have loved you for a long time,” he continues anyway. “I think the first time I realized it was when you were bringing food for us, and prior to that all members were talking about how much they’re craving for pizza. But when you arrived with the food delivery, you—” He chuckles at the memory. “You were holding a separate box for me. With fried chicken. For me. Because you know I don’t give a shit about pizza.”

He turns a little to kiss your hair.

“And it wasn’t even a eureka! moment,” he continues. “It wasn’t even a punch in the gut. It wasn’t loud, like my heart hammering against my chest, screaming for your name. It was—it was quiet. Like a tap on my wrist, telling me it’s always been there. You’ve always been in my heart. And you didn’t come in screaming, pulsating, crying. You walked in my heart, slowly and surely, like—like, the sun rising. It doesn’t abruptly rise from the horizon and blind everyone before they get the chance to wake up to start their day. The sun rises slowly, seeping through your curtains, gently waking you, kissing your skin like it’s the most precious thing ever. You’re like that for me. You’re the sun rising quietly into the horizon for me.”

“And I just—” Donghyuck sighs. “I wish I could say it better. I love you. I have loved you for a long time. I don’t think I’ll ever stop, so please let me say this. Let me tell you I love you.”

Donghyuck is left with silence for a few moments. And he wonders if he said it right. Honestly, he doesn’t even remember the words he said. He probably just spluttered nonsense. Main point is he loves you, and damn does he wish you were awake to hear all of it. He feels you breathe slowly, then—

“I love you, too,” you whisper, sniffling. He thinks you may be crying. “Have for a long time, too. I can’t remember when. I can’t even remember a time since we’ve met that I don’t look at you like you hung the stars for me.”

“Baby,” Donghyuck pouts when he realizes you’re already crying. He moves so that he’s lying on his side as he grabs your face with both hands, thumbs wiping away the tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You giggle.

“Can I kiss you?” Donghyuck asks and you nod too quickly. He wipes the stains of tears from your cheeks and leans closer, closer, closer—

And there. Finally. The most-awaited first kiss.

He presses his lips only softly, a feather-like touch, waits for your reaction, but you keep your eyes closed, and then he’s leaning again, pressing his lips firmly this time.

He kisses you gently—carefully, like a curator carrying a piece of art that’s been around for ages, and you kiss him back like you mean it.

The kiss is over not long after, and Donghyuck brings you back close to his chest, hugging you and telling you to sleep.

You hum. Donghyuck closes his eyes.

The room is covered in silence. Donghyuck feels like he’s dreaming, and slowly, he lets himself fall asleep. The last thing he hears before drifting of is: “for the record, I’ve always known, Donghyuck. I’ve always known, because the things you can’t say, your eyes tell.”

#haechan fic #haechan fluff #haechan imagine #haechan bf #lee donghyuck #lee donghyuck fic #lee donghyuck fluff #donghyuck x reader #haechan #haechan x reader #nct haechan #nct dream fic #nct dream scenario #faye's moving castle

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razzellyn · 2 months

Text

So affectionate!

Reader who gave them a daily hug! (You're going to be oofed)

Fluff and ! Angst !

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°��°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Blue Cop:

• Flustered for the first few times. It's not that he didn't like it, it just barely happens to him. Jun made fun of him about it and he got even more flustered each hug.

• Eventually warms up to it and hugs you back! Only when the "immature" one isn't around though. Immature being Shadow X.

• Actually looks forward to it everyday now. It's a daily thing when it comes to you.

• Now that you are gone, now that you have just lost the privilege of living, he finds it hard to even go after the day like he usually would.

• He doesn't realize how lonely he felt until after you were gone. It makes him feel as if he was just taking your kindness, your presence for granted.

• The last time he hugged you was the last time he hugged anyone else. Any other hugs that has been given to him feels different than the ones you used to give. So, Instead of being hugged by someone else, he just hugs himself.

• Oh how he wished he could tell you how much those hugs meant for him.

Mega Trucker:

• Actually really likes them. But, obviously, he'd never admit that. He'd just play it off with a wave of his hand and walking away.

• He's totally not jealous when you give the others a hug too. He knows it's just what you do, but you don't choose how you feel, so..

• He'd much prefer if you hug him in private. That, or when you just gave everyone a hug.

• Sometimes you give them a hug after any kind of battles they go through, and he used that as an excuse to ask you for a hug sometimes.

• He didn't expect that today would be his last hug from you. His shield was already applied and yet... he couldn't protect you.

• He's the one with the shield, he was supposed to defend you. He feels pathetic now, knowing that he wasn't quick or fast enough to protect you.

• Sometimes, whenever he's alone, he's reminded that you were gone and he blames himself for it.

• He doesn't want to be hugged by someone else. Can't you just.. hug him one last time?

Mega Ambuler:

• He may be... stoic, and a bit cold at times. But your hugs are usually the reason that he melts. (Not literally)

• Honestly, didn't expect anyone to hug him at all! It was a nice change for him.

• Believe it or not, sometimes he initiated the hug. In private, of course. It's a bit awkward for him whenever he does, but for you it was like being blessed for a lifetime.

• Usually he refuses your hugs, but he often regrets it afterwards. Atleast you were kind enough to give him one after that.

• Somehow you still had the nerve to hold him close even as he was patching up your wounds.

• He wanted you to live, everyone wanted you to live. Everyone depended on him for you to live, and he failed.

• He blames himself. He apologized to you, even if you can't hear him he still does. It gives him some type of false hope that he clings to, that maybe somehow you still lived.

• He has never felt so dissapointed in his entire life. To himself. Silently begging for you to just... come back.

• It felt as if he had failed the purpose of a doctor.

Phoenix Fire:

• He's embarrassed from time to time, but he mostly welcomes the hugs with open arms.

• One of the bots who actually showed how much they appreciated your hugs. Your hugs also often calms him down from a panic attack. He's thankful for that.

• He also looks forward to being hugged, it always brightens his day by 100%.

• He was the one screaming at you, begging you to stay awake as he fought the fires and enemies from expanding further.

• He was being brave for you, extinguishing the fires like how a firefighter should! Why weren't you responding...?

• He hugged you as tightly as he could, running towards safety, murmuring promises of a safe place, a safe haven even just for the two of you. Only to look down at an empty husk that you left.

• He wondered what he could've done. He wondered what could've been avoided. He wondered if you wanted a hug.

Shadow X:

• It's hard to tell whether he likes them or not. Sometimes he hugs you back with a wide nonexistent grin, sometimes he just pushes you away. Not in an aggressive manner, of course

• One time he initiated a hug, without realizing that everyone was watching. Yeah you weren't gonna receive hugs from him anymore.

• Secretly the #1 enjoyer of your hugs. Cannot mentally function without one. You found out because he was being an annoyance before you gave him one, after you did he was much more calmer.

• Was the one who immediately stood by your side, picking you up to the best of his abilities, not wanting to hurt you further.

• It was the first time you'd seen him so serious. It was the last time he had seen you so amused.

• He didn't want to let go of you he just wanted to hug you. He didn't care if everyone else was watching, he didn't want you to leave.

• Stay for him, please. He begs of you. Let him be the one to hug you this time.

Fleta Z:

• Also #1 hug enjoyer. He actually shows that he does, not in an exaggerating way of course.

• He's not one to initiate hugs, but he's not one to decline them either. In fact he relishes in the hugs you gave him.

• Sometimes he wishes he could just hug you and never letting you go. Don't worry, he won't actually do that.

• He's really gentle with the hug. Sometimes even hugging you tightly on occasion. It's usually whenever he feels pissed off when that happens. It calms him down greatly.

• Oh was he furious when he saw you laying there motionless. Immediately running over to cover you with his frame as he shoots at the enemies.

• He doesn't want to believe it. But he knows it's true. He just wished it was him and not you.

• He doesn't feel like using his flute at times. For some reason he just didn't feel like it. When he does, he wonders, can you hear his tune that was made just for you?

• Whenever that happens he thought about going over to you, maybe you'd give him a hug. Until he remembered.

• He sighed to himself as he stared at the moon. Wishing that the moon was you.

Dexter:

• Though flustered and embarrassed, he still hugs you back.

• He's also one of the bots to appreciate your hugs, sometimes even asking you a second one.

• In return, he often takes you to explore the forest! Totally not a date, while also talking about the plants and wildlife of the forest.

• You somehow managed to hug him in his vehicle form, and even though it was an odd position, he still appreciated it.

• He immediately abandoned the battlefield, carrying you gently, hoping that he was fast enough to bring you to safety.

• Well, atleast he could hug you one last time before you go. Surely that could calm him down...?

• He only seeks your hugs much more than before now, only to hug himself once he remembers that won't happen anytime soon.

• The forest feels lonelier than ever. It's not as beautiful as he remembered.

Wild Guardy:

• He doesn't mind it at all. He just lets you do whatever you see fit.

• Overtime though, he gradually leans onto your hugs. It went from patting your back, to side hugging you, and all of a sudden he engulfed you in a hug.

• He doesn't care if the others see you two. Sometimes he even showed off that you hugged him rather than them.

• Safe to say he even hugged you as he ran with you to safety. You were bleeding in his car seat. Does he care? No. Cleaning might be a hassle though.

• He handed you over to Mega Ambuler, telling him to to bring you somewhere so you could be treated, and went back to the battlefield.

• His frame physically sagged down when he heard you couldn't make it. Demanding that he sees you for the very last time.

• Never had he felt so disappointed in himself before. He gently held onto your fragile little hand, sighing to himself as he brought your body close.

• Seems like he lost the privilege to your hugs.

Buffalo Crush:

• He looks like the type to not like hugs. Well you're WRONG. He THOROUGHLY enjoys them. Daily hugs? Even BETTER.

• At some point he just full on cuddled you instead of hugging, forgetting to let go until you started squirming. He apologized immediately after.

• He's learned to hug you gently now. Still snuggling up to you when he could, which then turned into a cuddle and he forgot you needed to breathe. Again.

• It takes... too long for him to properly hug you, but he did it! His learning of "how to gently hug others" had significantly improved thanks to you.

• He just didn't expect that you would go once learned. He hugged your form gently, not wanting your pain to increase.

• Of course he went to Mega Ambuler. He's a doctor isn't he? He should know what to do. He could bring you back! But Mega Ambuler's lack of response tells him otherwise.

• He was begging for someone, for anyone to help you! But even Buster Gallon didn't know what to do.

• He learned how to properly hug you now, won't you hug him back?

Buster Gallon:

• Oh he hates it. He's totally not embarrassed each time you try to hug him.

• One time he decided to let you hug him, guess what? He's not letting go. Then it just goes on after that.

• Whenever he's done something, or achieved some sort of breakthrough, he comes to you for a reward hug. Which is a normal hug, but he can only achieve it by succeeding in... something.

• Somehow you always came up with excuses to hug him, telling him that he'd done something great knowing that he didn't even do a thing yet.

• Oh how he wished he let you hug him more. He carried you away from the battle, ignoring Black Hook's orders.

• Only to find that his efforts were futile, as you lay motionless in his arms. He feels conflicted. He wants to hug you, he wants to keep you close. But he just couldn't bring it in himself to do so.

• Would you still hug him, even though he failed?

Black Hook:

• His immediate answer was a no. He didn't want to be seen as someone that could easily be 'hugged' by others. Only for him to lean into your embrace once you two were alone.

• He'd huff and grumble, saying that he doesn't want to be hugged, but you knew that he lied.

• Putting on a brave face and a strong figure, it deeply surprised you how easily he becomes a tiny spoon. Even a captain would like some time off, thank you.

• He melts every time you hug him, wishing that he could've hugged you when everyone was around but not wanting his dignity gone.

• Now he doesn't even care about dignity. He's focused on keeping you safe, only to realize that he was a tad bit too late. He's practically screaming out your name, ordering you to stay awake.

• In the end it was all pointless, staring down at your lifeless body, bending down to give you a hug. If this was going to be the last hug, at least give him the honor to initiate the hug.

• He stayed holding you, as gently as a captain could.

Heavy Iron:

• It's no surprise that Heavy Iron doesn't think much of it. Actually it technically is a surprise, considering that he's a huge bot who looks like he would stomp on you if he wanted to.

• It makes him wonder however, why you were hugging him in the first place. But he must admit, it's nice to be shown kindness even after your worse. He's never saying that though.

• Usually he just pats your back in return and lets go immediately after. Other times he just doesn't do anything, letting you hug him as he just stood there. (like an idiot!🏴‍☠️)

• It almost never happens, but whenever he's feeling particularly good he would actually, properly, hug you back. Even he got himself surprised.

• He wasn't sure what he expected after that. He lost his world, and then he lost you. It doesn't surprise him, but it still hurts.

• He mourns you silently, grieving in the fact that he's only ever hugged you a few times before, yet you've hugged him countless of times.

• Never in his lifetime have he ever felt so saddened by the loss of someone. Though, he supposed you were a different case. You treated him as equals even after he did the opposite, yet somehow that encouraged you to hug him?

• Does he even deserve a hug from you? From anyone?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Pls send req of character and scenario

Pls

Idk what else to write i BEG

#metal cardbot #메탈카드봇 #metalcardbot #Razzy's little headcanons

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yuri-is-online · 7 months

Note

omg... we talk about yuu here?? we love yuu here???

I could talk about yuu forever, they're infinitely more interesting than any of the boys to me (not sorry). I know for a lot of people yuu is just kind of their pawn for this epic fantasy world and they don't even think about the ramifications, but me personally I would descend into insanity if I got isekai'd into magical teenage boy hell. deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.

one of the most important things about yuu's character is that they feel helpless. they can't perform magic in a world that's almost completely reliant on it, for one. as you've pointed out, they have no true autonomy. they have no government documentation, no family, nowhere to go, hell, they're not even a full student. they have no real hope of going home, and most of the nrc boys don't even seem to particularly care about that (if anything, I assume a lot of them would selfishly want yuu to stay, regardless of yuu's own wishes). the rules of this world are still unclear to them, and people don't really seem to acknowledge that.

can you imagine how lonely that existence would be? sure, people like yuu. they have friends. but as you've pointed out, no one (with the exception of adeuce, maybe) really seems to care about how things effect them specifically. yuu is manipulated, exploited, physically hurt and almost killed like, a bunch of times, bullied, harassed, and on top of everything, completely helpless to it. despite having friends who supposedly care about them, no one really seems to think about yuu's feelings on magic and the multiple life-threatening incidents they've experienced in their short time at nrc. as someone who has ptsd, I can't imagine that yuu would walk out of all that completely mentally unscathed.

as you've pointed out before, yuu is treated like any other student. their experiences and circumstances are never really taken into consideration, and they're expected to just... go along with things like everyone else. sure, equality is nice, but that doesn't really help yuu's case. yes, realistically, yuu is not totally helpless but good lord someone needs to help them out. someone needs to empathize with them, and defend them, and at least try a little to help them navigate this terrifying reality they've been expected to... just adjust to with no help. with their lack of autonomy, they're pretty much at the complete mercy of the people around them. yuu is lonely and I stand by that.

and on top of all of this, they have a massive amount of responsibility dumped on them constantly. yuu is a sort of mediator. they solve problems, usually ones that other people create, and never really by their own will. they arguably live in pretty shitty conditions and have no way of making money. they have to not only babysit grim (bless him tho), but also literally everyone else, while also trying to keep their own shit together. I mean, they're still technically a student. and a mini-housewarden. and crowley's errand runner. and they just got here a few months ago. psh.

yuu feels helpless, but they aren't treated as such, and so no one really extends a helping hand without ulterior motives. as much as ace and deuce want to help, they're also teenage boys and have their own tiny worlds to attend to. while people can be nice, no one seems to really want to understand, or care, about yuu's mental health.

anyway. I love the boys but in my heart I know that my yuu wouldn't be able to handle all that. me irl already deals with feelings of loneliness and crushing responsibility and misunderstanding and helplessness. twst is not a choose your own adventure type game and the tiny choices yuu gets to make don't really affect the story (which is oddly symbolic).

but like, listen. if I was zapped to another universe where I'm completely alone at a school full of teenage boys, most of which who couldn't care less if I lived or died, and one day I was sent on a trip to a city that painfully reminded me of home and some catholic-coded freak started being really considerate and empathetic to me for no other reason besides just liking me and genuinely being appalled at my circumstances, I would help him destroy magic. idc. I wouldn't even think twice about it. I stand by the idea that rollo feels some kind of affection for yuu. this would affect all of the diasomnia book because I would literally not want to leave and they'd have to drag me out of fleur city screaming and crying and clawing at the floor. poor malleus would be crushed.

anyway. haven't caught up to diasomnia yet so I may be way off. feel free to answer this or not! sorry for my weird english byebye!! love your posts

Yes we talk about Yuu here! They're the goat and I am so sorry I took forever to respond to your ask! Your English is wonderful you just had so much to say I had to really think on it σ(￣、￣=)

>deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.

I think this is a very reasonable assumption to make about Yuu. While how well they take being isekaid to "magical teenage boy hell" (that's such a funny way to put it) is something up to each player's interpretation I like to write Yuu as being prone to bouts of longing for their own world, if for nothing else than wanting to feel something familiar to them. Which you point out in the rest of your ask!

I think one of the reasons people loved Rollo so much is that he was finally someone who acknowledged all those little things about Yuu's situation that we wanted to see talked about. He is someone we can realistically sympathizing with Yuu's situation and would treat them with a degree of care the other boys might not notice they needed. I have... played around with some AU stuff for him in my spare time and the conclusion I have come to is that I think he would try to avoid asking for Yuu to help him in his plan to destroy magic. He wouldn't want them to be implicated, and his plan is a sort of personal penance for his inability to save his brother. The idea that someone would want to help him, let alone someone as perfect as Yuu, isn't really something that would cross his mind. Besides, I don't think he would trust Yuu to help him immediately, he doesn't know them all that well at the start of GloMas.

Mental health tends not to be something focused on in isekai stories. I do think that our limited choices (i agree it is fittingly symbolic) have shown a Yuu who is slowly starting to feel the lack of control they have over their situation and are starting to feel stress over it. Ace says that he wants Yuu to be able to go home, as does Deuce, but I do think they both would be equally as happy if Yuu got to stay. They enjoy their friendship and love them a lot, if the story happened in more of a vacuum I could see both Ace and Deuce picking up on Yuu needing the extra support, but with how many things have happened over our school year they haven't had much time to sit and think to themselves about... much of anything really. But that doesn't exclude Yuu from feelings of loneliness or isolation; some of the most painful types of both is when you are surrounded to people and yet still feel unable to scream.

As for Malleus... well these aren't Diasomnia spoilers but if I understand his platinum jacket card correctly he can't stand seeing other people be happy when he isn't so. If Yuu were genuinely happy in Fleur City and he was left alone... oh he'd be so unhappy about that he would be beyond crushed.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland #twst yuu #rollo flamme #twst rollo

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casualaruanienjoyer · 2 months

Note

Idea: Assuming Jeankasa is endgame (e.g. he’s the man with her at the grave in her last scenes), how do you think that relationship progressed?

Hello Anon! Thank you for sending me a request! I hope you're having a nice day🥺

I love the idea of Jeankasa ending, I think Mikasa deserves to be happy😭 in my head it takes a while, but they do eventually get together. So here's a lil something for you!

Wish I could be there with you

Everyone knows that Jean had a thing for Mikasa. He finds her to be incredibly beautiful, but also determined, ambitious and most of all, kind.

He knew that for a long time there was no space in her heart for anyone but Eren, and any advances would be nearly pointless. Jean was not happy with how Mikasa was treated by Eren, it always felt that he was dragging her along, aware of her feelings for him but not man enough to acknowledge them. But this was none of his business, really. He was only a bystander.

Then the Rumbling happened, the end of the world came and went and Mikasa was nowhere to be seen. He worried for her, but this is Mikasa they were talking about.

When news came that she made it back to Paradis he was relieved. He decided to start sending out letters the moment they were able to. Asking how she was doing, about Paradis, telling her about his life with the other Ambassadors.

Mikasa's letters were considerably shorter than his at first, but over time they became a source of comfort for her. Talking to Jean felt like owning a diary. He was easy to talk to, and he made her laugh sometimes. It took her a while but over time she started opening up about her feelings. About how lonely she felt every day.

"I wish I could be there with you, Mikasa" was a line she kept reading over and over.

Years pass and the Alliance arrived back to Paradis. Jean spent a comical amount of time fixing his hair, his face and suit. He’s wearing his best perfume.

As they disembark he spots Mikasa in the crowd, smiling. He can't help but sprint towards her, but when he gets close his nervousness gets the better of him yet again.

"H-hi! Mikasa" he says, smiling awkwardly.

Her hair had grown long again. She looks thinner and a bit tired, but she’s smiling nonetheless. Oh god, Jean forgot how to function completely. Has she always been this pretty?

"Hello Jean. Welcome back." She says softly.

"Y-yeah-um Mikasa I-" but then everyone else circled around Mikasa, Connie, Armin, even Reiner and Annie, and they all hugged and laughed together. The moment was lost.

This wasn't Jean's chance.

Later that night everyone agreed to go out drinking. They wanted to celebrate not only the reunion with Mikasa, but with their families and home. Armin and Jean had booked a table at a pub nearby which had lots of different kinds of food and alcohol to enjoy.

The table is rowdy, Reiner and Connie singing, Pieck bringing over more and more booze, Armin gazing at Annie lovingly, completely drunk while Annie munches on various desserts off the pub's menu. Jean only had a bit to drink, but can’t take his eyes off Mikasa. He feels bad, was it really ok for him to have feelings for her still? After everything that happened? Was it fair on her?

But then Mikasa walks over and asks him to come out for some fresh air and he agrees. The pub air was becoming a bit stuffy. They exit through the backdoor into a beer garden, which wasn’t currently in use as it was still cold outside. The two of them lean against a brick wall, admiring the beautiful trees and decorations in the garden.

"Jean" she says softly. So softly.

"Ah-yeah? Um, how are you?" Jean manages to reply. His cheeks are red, partly from the alcohol but mostly because they’re standing so close to eachother.

"I've been well. Thank you... for being there for me. For writing all those letters." She looks at him with a tiny smile on her lips. Her cheeks are the same colour as his, but Jean can’t remember if she had anything to drink.

"Of course, you're our friend. We were all so worried about you" he says sheepishly.

"Mhhmm" she hums.

There’s silence for a while.

"Say, Jean, I've been meaning to ask, what did you mean by..."she pulls a little letter out of her pocket, unfolding it. "This" Her finger points at a line that reads: "I wish I could be there with you, Mikasa" which makes Jean blush even deeper.

"W-well, you see..." all the replies he had prepared in his head, all the pick up lines, seductive and charming ideas are gone. His brain is now pudding, unable to form anything coherent. He clears his throat.

"I misses you. A lot" Mikasa says.

"We missed you t-"

"No, Jean, I missed -you-." She turns towards Jean, now leaning on her side, her face unreadable. Her tone is serious.

"I- I also missed you" he replies in a weak voice. Is this really ok? He doesn’t want to hurt her, or himself.

She takes one of his hands in hers, not breaking their eye contact. "Are you, holding back?" Her gesture makes him snap out of his worries.

"Of course I am, Mikasa!" He squeezes her hand tightly, turning to face her. "There's nothing more I want to do right now than to hold you, but I'm worried, you know?" His face is beet red, and Mikasa can feel his hand shaking slightly. "I've been so worried about you, a-and then I saw you and you looked so-"

He suddenly feels very warm, realizing that Mikasa pulled him into a tight embrace. Was he dreaming? Or maybe he died and ascended to heaven?

"I also... wanted to hold you. I was so lonely, for a long time I didn't know what to do with myself. With, Eren gone and everything." She mutters into his chest.

Jean hugs her back tightly. He couldn't imagine just how lonely she must have been.

"But reading letters from you and the rest helped me realize that I need to move on. For him and for myself" her grip on his shirt is tight. She looks up to see Jean glancing down at her, smiling.

"Will you help me learn how to live for myself?"

Jean's hand reaches up to stroke her hair.

"Of course"

It might take months, maybe even years for Jean to tell her how he really feels, but for now all he wants is to hold her for a little longer.

💜This fic is now also on AO3 !

#jeankasa #jean kirstein #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #mikasa aot #jean aot #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #my fic #aot ship #aot headcanons #aot scenarios

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ninapi · 1 year

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Depths of Fate ╝

Premise: Sanemi goes out of his way to take care of a sick young woman who captivated his heart since their first time seeing each other. A love like this wasn't possible for a man like him, or so he thought, fate has many faces and he would end up seeing them all up close.

Word Count: 5708

Note: This was requested by the lovely @yourlocalangie, hope this meets your expectations! 👀❤️

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The demon corps had very strict rules.

Train hard, take care of your own body the same way as you do of your sword, prioritize always saving civilians at all costs.

In normal circumstances this is easy enough, for a pillar though, everything was twice as hard.

Training was more intense, the injuries received during battles worse, deeper, healing wasn’t always as quick, and they had to keep fighting regardless of how bad they were feeling. Missions were harder, longer, more dangerous.

Not everyone could be a pillar, that was certain.

Sanemi had been in an awfully long mission as of recent, new cuts gained for his collection, two in his right arm, one across his back side, one of them getting badly infected as he had rolled on dirt more than once fighting the horde of demons he was sent out to kill.

Overall, the situation wasn’t ideal, he hadn’t slept for days now, eating was a commodity not everyone had among their ranks on severe missions.

This one was particularly tough, a cluster of demons had been eating off children in a secluded village up a mountain, reports had been filed many times, but the corps were always eliminated by them before any could return to the headquarters, hence, a pillar was sent out to deal with the threat. Though, even when they suspected it was more than one demon, finding over ten of them feeding on a young child was unexpected, to say the least.

He managed to kill them all but one, the sneaky little bastard slithered away into some bushes, his shapeshifting nature turning him into a snake-like figure.

The night was long, he lost sight of his target and he knew very well what that meant, if he didn’t catch him by nightfall, someone else would lose their life.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Consumed by an unknown illness, you were taken by your parents to an asylum up ‘the sacred mountain’, the air was pure over there and the accommodations were designed to help those in need of constant medical attention.

As sad as that was, you were very well taken care off. The girls there were all nice to you and even if you were the only young woman among the patients in the facility, you didn’t feel out of place.

As for the illness itself, it was clear to everyone it had to do with your lungs as you would have heavy coughing fits, blood making its way out in the process more than once, though, nobody around knew how to fight it or make you feel better. The fresh air of the mountain did help with your breathing, and even if you were always too tired to get up from your bed, you had good days where you could go out and take in the beautiful scenery, even if it was just for a few minutes.

Today was one of those days, sunset time was approaching, and the breeze seemed delightful from your window.

Gathering all your strength, you managed to pad your way out to the gardens. It was indeed a beautiful day, even though you wished you could do more on a day like this, you were content enough with enjoying such a nice peaceful view.

The elderly had been already taken back inside to the safety of their rooms, so it was just you and nature, sometimes you just needed this, a quiet time to accept fate.

Fate wasn’t really kind to you as you’ve noticed over the years. Majority of your friends were now married, mothers even, yet you had to be locked up a mountain, away from people your age, away from your family and friends. Future looked more than grim for you and just being able to enjoy one more day was enough to be thankful for.

The sun had finally set, a blanket of dark shades of blue mixing up with purples as the twinkling of endless stars graced the horizon. You were about to head back into your room when a strong breeze took you by surprise, your shawl flying away in the distance. Running wasn’t an option for you, even walking took way too much energy out of you, but you had to get it back. Your mother had knit it just for you and honestly your own life could be at risk without it, the warmth emanating from it would always keep you warm at night, without it you probably wouldn’t be here by now.

So you made your way into the forest, wanting to retrieve your lost source of warmth. It was dark, scary. You’ve never wandered this far into the mountain; the foliage was so dense not even the moonlight dared to shine your way.

But there it was, hanging from a branch a bit too tall for your small weak body. Climbing the tree of course was out of the question, so you did your best to look for a fallen branch and try to retrieve it that way.

That was until something hard tackled you to the ground.

“Out of my fucking way, woman! Don’t you see you’re about to be eaten by that beast???” a very wild looking, yet handsome man, remained on top of you, heavy muscle pressing against your own chest, you could feel his ragged breath caressing the span of your face as he looked around in a frantic manner.

“A beast? I didn’t see any beast, sir.”

“Well, that’s because your fucking blind! It was about to bite your ankle, one of his bites and you’d be dead in a second.” panic took over your facial expression, death had always been a friend to you, always waiting to receive you in his cold arms, yet it’s never felt this close before.

Something moved to your side, behind some bushes, alerting the both of you. “Stay down.” you just nodded, hiding behind the tree that still held your favorite garment.

The man used some type of crazy wind technique to lure the pray out of his hidden spot by the bushes, the fight was intense, you couldn’t see clearly, and the sound of the man’s breath kept getting louder, he was tired, that much was clear.

Something grabbed you from behind, making you scream your lungs out. Sanemi was on you in a second, cutting his head off before it was too late. Even if you saw his head fly away, you could still feel the death grip of his claws on your arms, making it even harder for you to breath, another of your attacks coming right your way, blood sputtering out of your mouth alerting the pillar.

“Did he bite you somewhere? Let me see?” he was going around you lifting your garments up without consent, desperately looking for some remnants of a wound. “I don’t see anything, tell me, where does it hurt?” he was holding you now by your shoulders, shaking you as to stop your coughing fit. He was by no means a doctor and you looked awfully weak.

“For fuck sakes woman, stop coughing and talk to me!” he was losing his cool, something rather easy for him these days, yet still pretty aggravating. Since your coughing wouldn’t stop, he went back to check for wounds. There was nothing on your back, he needed to check your chest, see if maybe the demon had injected venom into you near your lungs. But you were still a woman and he, even if everyone thinks of him as a beast with no manners, was still a gentleman.

“I’m going to open this ok? I need to make sure you weren’t bitten.” his tone of voice was softer now, your lack of objection giving him authorization to proceed. He lowered your kimono just enough to check for any signs of blood, doing his best to keep you covered, though, his eyes couldn’t help themselves from wondering into your marvelous looking, round plush assets; his ears turning crimson by the minute.

But the only blood he found was coming from your mouth, could it be possible you were poisoned by the creature? It wouldn’t be surprising, this one was hard to kill, smarter than the majority he’d encountered in the past.

The coughing fit seemingly came to an end, one of your hands reaching for one of his shoulders, doing all you could to keep your body from collapsing. “Don’t worry, sir. This has nothing to do with the beast, I’m sick, you see. This happens every day. I just need to rest for a little while.” Understanding, Sanemi gathered you in his arms, letting your head rest against his muscly chest, ready to leave the forest and take you to a safer place.

“Excuse me, is it too much to ask of you to get the shawl hanging from that tree? I followed it all the way here, that’s what got me caught in this unfortunate situation.” he just nodded, extending one of his hands and grabbing it without exertion, making you gasp in surprise at how easy it was for him to retrieve it.

He draped it over you and carried you back to the asylum, the lights coming from it illuminating your path. Now that the darkness of the forest had been left behind, you could see how handsome the man that saved your life actually was. You noticed how strong he was earlier, but his face was softer than you imagined, his eyelashes the prettiest you’ve ever seen, taking your breath away.

“What?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re staring…”

“Oh, sorry, I just…your eyes are very pretty.” grumbling, messy blushing Sanemi set you down on the porch of what look like one of the rooms, it was the only one with the sliding door open, the only one without the lights on, he assumed it was yours, and he was correct.

“Thank you for saving my life. I didn’t even notice I was in danger, without your help I wouldn’t be-“ a choked sob mixed in with more coughing startled the young man, his hand reaching your back to rub it clumsily. He’s never been good with people, but he remembered one night Genya had caught a bad flu, their mother coming to rub the cough away from his back being one of the only memories he had of the time his brother was still a baby.

It did help, your fit being significantly shorter this time, no blood could be seen this time, thankfully. “Thank you, I’m ok now.” the implications of your statement made him realize his hand was still on your back, making him jump a feet away from you, embarrassed.

“Is it always like this? The coughing I mean?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s not contagious.”

“I wasn’t worrying about that, idiot. What is it that you have? Seems tough.”

“Nobody seems to know what the problem with my lungs is.” he didn’t know what to say to that, for some reason sadness made its way up his chest, he didn’t know this woman, why was he so affected by her condition?

Helpless women were his weakness.

“Well get better alright. I gotta go back now.” you gave him the softest smile he’s seen in his entire life, the stars reflecting on your beautiful large eyes, the moon accentuating the beauty of your features even more. He hadn’t notice until that moment how pretty you actually were, how even if your lips were still all bloodied, your smile was beyond perfect. With a small wave of your shaky hand, you bid him goodbye before sending him his way.

A night to remember for more than one reason.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sanemi has been back from his endless mission for two days now, he slept for seventeen hours straight after his briefing and was now ready to go back to his training sessions.

Random thoughts of a certain smiling beauty filling his entire day, landing him a blow to the head by his fellow pillar friend.

Iguro was speechless, this had been the third time in a row he managed to hit him, this never happens, Sanemi wasn’t one to let an occurrence like this repeat itself, definitely not in the same day, something was off…

“Can you stop being an idiot and tell me what’s gotten you all distracted? This is very unlike you, it’s not fun in the slightest, I might as well train with a noob recruit, it would give me a better fight.”

“Ugh…” plopping onto the dirt flooring of the snake residence, he sighed, his head hanging low. “I have a lot of things in my head, that’s all…”

“YOU, Shinazugawa Sanemi, the wind pillar, has a lot of things in his head? You gotta be kidding me… who are you???”

“This isn’t fucking funny, ok? I know this is not like me at all, but I don’t know how to deal with it…”

“How to deal with what?” his fellow pillar was now sitting on the ground beside him, his snake companion as curious as he was decided to slither its way to Sanemi’s leg in an intrigued questioning manner.

“The other night, on my previous mission, I met someone, and I guess I’m worried for her well being that’s all…”

“HER well being? I see…” grumbling louder this time, he buried his face on his hands, shielding himself from the questioning gaze of his friend.

“You don’t SEE shit, OK?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, you��re worried about her, why don’t you go and check on her? Don’t know what has you this worried but that should at least help you regain your concentration.” he was right, it was as easy as just going up that mountain again, it’s completely normal to check on someone you saved their life recently, right? Yup, totally normal.

Without replying, he just got up, determination shown on his face as he made his way out of the snake residence training grounds.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Saying you were surprised when a tuft of white peeked through your window was an understatement.

Seeing it from the outside was actually quite hilarious.

He’s been sneaking around the property for a good thirty minutes, going from tree to tree, hiding behind planters and luring in shadowy areas looking for the perfect moment to visit.

He could see you from far away, it seemed like you were receiving some sort of treatment, so he didn’t want to interrupt or agitate you even more.

Once the lady nurse in charge left your room and you picked up a book, he deemed it safe enough to make himself known.

“Yo, you busy?” his deep low voice startled you away from your romance novel, his eyes were darting anywhere but your face and the tip of his ears glowed in the sunshine.

“Oh, Hi! I was just reading to pass the time. Did you leave something behind that night, or-?” he just shook his head, suddenly very self-aware of what he’s done.

“I just, well you seemed like you were having a rough time, I was wondering if you were ok, that’s all…” his tough guy demeanor from the other night was nowhere to be seen, he looked nervous, his face flushing darker as time went by, an adorable sight really.

“You’re very considerate, thank you for checking on me. I’m doing just fine, same as always at least.” there it was, the smile that hunts his dreams, all for him to see once more, even when he thought he would never see it again.

“I saw that woman pinching your arm…what was that about?”

“Oh well just routine checkups, they need to make sure I’m not getting worse.” sitting up, you made some space for him to sit, taking him by surprise. He didn’t expect this would take this long, he just wanted to make sure you were fine and go back to his training, not an afternoon tea get-together; yet he followed your lead hoping over your window and sitting by your side.

“Is it? Getting worse?” his voice was full of sorrow, somehow you could see ghosts of his past reflecting on his beautiful eyes, the eyes of someone who’s lost someone dear.

“Not that I know of.” his features lit up at your words, one of his hands reaching for one of his pockets. “I got some ohagi on my way here… I don’t know if you like it or if you can even eat sweets, but… we can share it if you’d like.” he was grumbling his words out, uncomfortable in his own skin, why was he acting this way? He wouldn’t share his sweets with anyone, not even with his siblings when he was younger.

“I love ohagi!” your excitement filled expression was just so pure, so full of innocence, it made him smile, a rare sight, but a wonderful one.

Sharing sweets and talking about everything and nothing at the same time, hours went by, the moonlight soon filtering through your window.

“Shinazugawa-san, it’s already so late. Are you sure this is fine? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, killing beasts?” the look of confusion in his face when he saw how dark it was outside made you chuckle. He hadn’t even realized it was this late, you did only due to the need to reach for a candle to continue delighting on his handsome face, otherwise you wouldn’t have either.

“Oh crap, I was supposed to go back to training.” he got up, going out of the window in a matter of seconds. Before he could be out of reach you yelled after him with all your strength, “Will you…ever come again…?”

He just smiled at you before disappearing into the darkness.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When he arrived back at the wind residence, Iguro was waiting for him by the entrance, a cup of tea in one hand, his snake on the other, an annoyed expression displayed just for him to see. “Whatever happened to our training?”

“Ugh, I…was busy.”

Iguro just sighed, getting up to dust his hakama away, “So you don’t wanna tell me about it. Fine, is not like I care about your love life, just don’t leave me hanging like that ever again or I will chop one of your ears off and feed it to Kaburamaru.”

“L-lov- what..” the startled pillar was left on his own, complex thoughts filling his brain. He thought visiting you would put an end to his delirious state, but it did quite the opposite, especially now after hearing Iguro spat nonsense.

It’s not like he was allowed to have a love life, he was the wind pillar, the second strongest among the ranks. His mission was to end with the entire demon race, it wasn’t like he had time to mingle with a sickly girl, even if that girl was the cutest, most interesting one he’s ever met.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sanemi avoided visiting you for well over a month, it was hard at first, but a few missions were assigned to his division, and he’d been busy over the past weeks, making it easier to ignore. In his last mission though, he got a particularly nasty blow to his head, forcing him to visit the butterfly state.

When he arrived, his pillar comrade was tending one of the lesser rank members of the corps, he had an awful coughing fit and that got his attention. “Take this tea twice a day, it will make breathing easier and eventually stop the cough completely.” the young boy took the little bag from her hand, running off as soon as he saw who was waiting to be tended by the door.

“Shinazugawa, that’s a very deep cut you have there. What’s been happening to you lately? I didn’t know you were this weak.” that had to sting for sure, he hated being seen as weak, but he had nothing to say that could help him getting out of this situation, he was acting like a weak low life and he knew it, yet there was nothing he could do to take you out of his head.

“Kocho, is that tea you gave that boy something you could share with me?” ignoring her statement completely, he went straight to business.

“Do you have a cold?” he just shook his head, his face was so serious she didn’t want to mess with him further, “Well I certainly can, but what do you need it for?”

“Someone I know has weak lungs and coughs constantly. Just thought that might help.” she nodded, grabbing a small pouch to dump in it some of her herbal concoctions, “Is it chronic then?”

“I think so.” she added something extra to the mix, measuring a few other ingredients, “I don’t know what this friend of yours has, but chronic coughing it’s usually a bad sign. I will add a few extra things to it just to combat underlying conditions that might be causing this.” A bad sign? You did look pretty weak when he saw you the first time, but never expected your sickness to be that serious.

Shinobu’s interest in the situation grew as his expression turned grim, she’s never seen so many expressions on this man’s face, he’s always angry or…well that’s it really, just angry all the time. “Is this person someone I know? Maybe I could go take a look and give an appropriate dose?” he took the pouch from her hand roughly, his regular frown returning to his face in an instant.

“Not really. Thanks though, I will deliver it right away.” she was certain she lost her mind, even if it was for a quarter of a second, she could swear she saw Shinazugawa Sanemi smile tenderly at the medicine pouch, but of course, that was impossible, she was just probably overworking herself as usual.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The wind pillar was a simple minded man, always knew what to do, how to get out of situations easily, yet this time around he was at a lost for words.

Not only had he been nervous all the way from the butterfly state to your room up that desolated mountain, but you were deliberately ignoring him.

You turned on your side the moment he peeked through your window, a visible pout adoring your rosy lips.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Is this the way to treat someone who goes out of his way to see you?” you just scoffed, pulling your blanket over your head to hide you completely away from his sight.

Without asking for permission, he skipped into your room, sitting by your feet, “(Y/N) stop being a shithead, I brought something for you.” he was poking one of your feet through the soft material of the covers, getting no response whatsoever from you.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me. If you don’t want to see me then I shouldn’t have bothered worrying about your stupid ass, I’ll just go then. Drink the content of the damn pouch I’m going to leave here, it will help you get better…” he was about to get up when one of your hands reached for his wrist, still hidden under your covers. “You’re the one who don’t wanna see me…I waited every day for you to come, for days…weeks even…” your voice was barely above a whisper, sadness lacing your every word.

“I was busy.” scoffing, you let go of his hand, retrieving back to your safe place, though he was faster, grabbing your hand a bit too rough, causing your blanket to fall from your face.

“I was busy ok? I mean it…” you knew he was saying the truth yet it felt like he was hiding something away from you.

“That’s it? You were busy?”

“Well what the fuck were you expecting? Me telling you I can’t get you out of my head? That I’ve been overworking myself past my limits just so I wouldn’t think of your stupid pretty smile or the sound of your laughter? How I have to lie to all the people around me because I can’t possibly tell them what it’s actually going on?” you just blinked at him, twice. “Well I wasn’t expecting to hear that much, but yes, that’s better.” your cute giggles made him blush, realization kicking him on the face.

“I-I was-it was a joke!”

“No it wasn’t. And I’m glad it isn’t…I’ve been the same way…thinking you didn’t want to see me ever again and even trying to come up with a plan to leave this place and find you, but then again all I knew was your name….can’t possibly find someone just with that…” you were the one blushing now, Sanemi’s hand still very attached to your own.

“Such an idiot.” his words were harsh but the soft smile he was giving you made up for it pretty quickly.

“So like I was saying, take this twice a day. I work with this girl who’s a doctor of some sort, very good at what she does. She recommended this to help with your breathing and could eventually get rid of the coughing problem.” he caught you pouting once more, a deep sigh leaving his lips, “What is it now?”

“Is that woman doctor…pretty?” your eyes turned glassy, your quivering pout making him laugh, you were being ridiculous but he was all in for it, “Not as pretty as you.” and that was all it took to break the spell that had you mad at him, chuckles and light bantered could be heard all the way from the garden coming from your room.

He was supposed to stay for just a few minutes and the moon greeted him on his way home once again.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Visiting you became part of his every day, even if he had to miss every other day due to missions or pillar meetings, you knew now of his schedule and he would constantly update it for you in his visits.

Iguro and Shinobu were pleased to see his normal self returning, yet he couldn’t fool them completely.

His sour face was softer lately, his surviving skills were also sharper, no new injuries reported in a while, the change was positive, but very much intriguing.

“Where are you going? Aren’t you staying to train the new guys?”

“Himejima-San is covering for me. I have something to do.” this caused Iguro and Shinobu to exchange knowing glances, they didn’t really get along, but the cause called for backups.

“Oh, so it’s visiting the girlfriend day, I see.”

“The sick girl, I presume?”

“So she’s sick? That’s why he was so worried, makes sense…”

“Can you both fucking stop?” he was trying his best to hide his flushed face, he’s been doing his best to keep this entire thing a secret, why were they suddenly so interested in his personal life?

“I can give her a visit if you’d like. Is my tea working for her? Any other symptoms?” this distracted Sanemi; just what she wanted, “She has a hard time breathing at night so she hasn’t been sleeping well, do you have anything that could help with that.” and that easily, he fell in their trap.

“So your girlfriend has troubles sleeping at night…I see. Does she turn and toss a lot or cries out while she’s asleep?”

“She does, is that also because of her sickness?”

“So you’ve already shared a night together. I see, things were farther along than I suspected…” this snapped him back to reality, noticing Shinobu’s red face trying to contain her laughter while Kaburamaru was blushing hiding behind his master’s hair.

“You damn pieces of shit! You dare trick me with something this serious? I fucking hate you, you two are the worse….” feeling bad for her actions, Shinobu reached the sulking man, placing another small pouch in his hand. “Tell her to add this powder to the last cup of tea of the night, it will help her sleep better.” her smile was one of understanding, the apology being well received.

Iguro wasn’t one to apologize for his antics, yet he could see the distress caused on his friend’s face and hit a bit too close home. Truth is, he’s the only one that hears him out when drunk-crying about Kanroji, he’s the only person he could consider his friend besides Kaburamaru. “I’ll cover you with Himejima-san. Go.” his apology could be heard loud and clear, he felt grateful for having those around him, even when they were all a pain in the ass.

Though, when he arrived at your window, you were nowhere to be seen.

He waited for a good hour until you were carried back into your room by two male nurses. Your condition seemed to have worsen overnight, your face pale, eyes closed. You looked almost like a corpse, sudden images of his half eaten siblings invading his thoughts.

As soon as you were left alone, he made his way into your room, one of his hands cradling your cold face, “(Y/N) baby…” his hushed whispers made you open your eyes, you thought it was all in your head, but he was actually there in front of you. “Nemi…” your voice was so raw, it was heartbreaking.

“What happened? Rough night?” to this you just gave him a tiny nod, your eyes closing on their own, exhausted.

“It’s fine baby, sleep. I brought you some medicine that will help you have a nice rest. Would you like some now?” his gentle caresses and words made you smile. He’s always so rough and bad mouthed, you loved how soft he could get when worried about you.

After taking the meds provided by Shinobu you fell asleep fast, he stayed by your side for as long as he could making sure you had a peaceful rest, you looked so tired and weak, it was a scary thought, but what if the next time he comes visit you, you’re no longer here?

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Even when his purpose was to visit you daily without exceptions, doom fell upon the corps.

Muzan’s final battle came a bit too fast, he wasn’t even able to let you know what was going on.

To make it all worse, he ended up so injured that he was unconscious for the longest time.

Waking up after said battle was devastating though, realization of his baby brother’s demise hurt even more than the hundreds of wounds littering his body.

Once it was ok for him to leave the butterfly’s state ward he was in, the first thing he did was climb up the mountain he dreaded so much to climb.

He wanted to see you, with all his heart. But he wouldn’t be able to take it if you weren’t there now, if you had to leave this world all on your own he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself, not after losing his entire family to demon kind, he just couldn’t lose the only ray of hope in his life.

Life can play nasty tricks when you least expect it; you weren’t in your room, panic cursing through his veins. He was about to burst when he heard a familiar laughter, his favorite one, the one he’s been dying to hear since he woke up.

You were watering the plants in the garden, helping one of your nurses. You look way better than he’s ever seen you, relief making his heart calm down a notch.

The moment your eyes met, the hose was discarded as you ran his way, wrapping your arms around his neck as soon as you threw yourself at him, “Nemi! I thought something bad had happened to you…I was so worried…” your face was now buried on his neck, your tears tickling his skin on their way down.

“Something bad did happen…” this made you look up at him, checking for injuries. There were a few new scars present but that was normal for him. “What happened love?”

“Remember I told you about my stupid brother following me around like a puppy?”

“Yeah I remember how happy that made you feel.” your giggles made him smile, he can’t really deceive you, you see through all his bullshit clearly.

“He was killed in my last mission…I…I couldn’t save him….” tears were clouding his vision, your lips reaching over to place a soft kiss to his lips in a comforting manner. “You tried, that’s all that matters. I’m sure he knows it, my love.” his arms came to wrap around you tightly, quiet tears soaking your garments as you rubbed his back lovingly, the same way he did for you the first time you met.

“Thank you for coming back to me in one piece, Nemi.”

“Thanks for waiting for me…and getting better...I was so scared I would be too late...” sharing a kiss like no other before, fate had giving both of you another chance.

Another chance to live, another chance to love and be loved.

Fate was uncertain for the both of you, the mark was still an unknown gray area, he didn’t know how long he had left, and same was for you, your sickness could take you away anytime soon, but thanks to his love and care you were slowly getting better.

Fate had many faces to show him as well, and love was one of them.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Masterlist

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x female reader #demon slayer hashira #wind hashira #wind pillar #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #sanemi x reader #fluff #sanemi fluff #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi

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myesmi · 1 year

Note

hi hi! i saw that you were taking requests, and i'd love to hear your personal headcanons about thomas hewitt (and maybe jason voorhees?)!

have a nice day!

THOMAS HEWITT GENERAL HEADCANONS. 𓂅 ˖ ࣪

cw. my personal general headcanons, mentions of insecurity and mental illness, bones / bone collecting, etcetera

note. ahh tysm for the request!! <3 i’m so glad you’d like to hear my personal hcs for ol’ thomas! i hope you enjoy my thoughts, it’s a little all over the place, so apologies! and speaking for jason voorhees, i’ll do another post at a later time for general hcs! comments and reblogs always appreciated! <3

requests are open. masterlist.

thomas is not shy, he’s reserved. he keeps to himself not because he’s particularly shy or afraid, but because he was conditioned to think, ‘ why would anybody be interested? ’

he spent his entire life being aggressively put down by the town he grew up in, as well as his family. charlie, hoyt, while he would defend thomas when needed ( as hewitts stick together ), was not one for kind words. and uncle monty was quiet and not particularly the supportive kind.

so, thomas really only had luda mae to depend on for emotional support. she was the matriarch, and the one whom he cares for the deepest. you mess with luda? you’re messing with him.

in general, thomas is naturally a protective man, if not also an envious man. of course he wants his family to be safe and sound, he was simply surrounded by the fact damn near his entire life. protect your family.

and yet thomas is a deeply jealous, deeply insecure man. his intimidating size is already enough to make him wish he was smaller, however growing up deformed? poor? and he never really did too amazing in school either.

i feel like at some point, thomas came to terms with his physical situation. he had to. there was nothing he could to do change his physical self, so he had to learn how to deal with it. that doesn’t mean he’s any less frightfully insecure, however.

which leads me to believe that he’s quick to annoyance / anger. he is a patient man to an extent when it comes to work and chores, and especially towards his family. but with victims? outsiders? he is extremely quick to anger, or even violence. it comes from a deeply rooted place of discomfort.

thomas only trusts his family. they know what’s best for the hewitt household.

speaking of, while thomas is much larger, and much stronger than everyone in his little family unit, he remains firmly underneath them and their words. he is still their little boy that they took in. hoyt basically runs the household, especially by the point in the movies, he’s taken over as leader.

it doesn’t feel right saying that thomas is afraid of hoyt, but he most certainly does not want to go against him, or make him angry. hoyt has always been an angry man, especially after returning from the war. ( however, it wouldn’t be impossible for thomas to stand up to hoyt, especially if it were for thomas’s s/o. however that could be explained further if anyone wanted to request s/o headcanons or something… <3 )

switching gears, thomas is crafty. of course we know this, he creates his own masks. however, i feel like he just generally likes crafts. thomas is into creating, as it makes him feel… good. he’s creating, instead of destroying. positive to distract from the negative, y’know?

thomas is also a huge workaholic. he spends almost all of his time working around the hewitt farm, doing any type of chore and any type of work his family requests of him.

and however, despite being a workaholic who often strays far into the night, thomas is an early bird. the quiet moments in the mornings are his favorites. no one knows it, but he often wakes up before the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise, sneaking his way through the house to watch through the kitchen window above the sink.

and as for hobbies, bone collecting. of course this one was coming. i feel like thomas, being crafty and spending a lot of his time on the farm doing various tasks, comes across some old animal carcasses time to time. little bones left behind by natural scavengers. so? he collects them. has been since he was a young boy ( which in turn made him an even bigger outcast… ). he has many an old, dusty jar full of various bones from animals such as rabbits, field mice, deer, etcetera. he even was able to collect a few skulls.

also? pressed flowers. thomas would never reveal this to any of his family members, especially hoyt, but when he comes across a wild flower in the field? little clumps of ditzy white flowers growing along the roadside? he’ll carefully pick them, place them in his pocket, and at the end of the day, press them into a little battered, empty journal he found. it’s rather beautiful, his own pretty little slice of the world to admire.

i also think thomas collects whatever little nicknacks he comes across. little old, cracked glass figurines, old metal pieces, discarded cds, interesting little coins, etcetera. he keeps them in a box, hidden in his basement work station most likely, alongside his hidden journal filled with pressed flowers.

#myesmi writes !!#horror #horror slasher #slashers #slashers x reader #leatherface #thomas hewitt #leatherface x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt x you #thomas hewitt headcanons #texas chainsaw the beginning #texas chainsaw massacre

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blueraineshadows · 1 year

Note

Good morning, lovely lady! I'm very sorry to bother you again!

I have a little request if you find the time :)

I'm going through some stuff in my life atm that's really getting me down, so I need as much escapism as possible! 😅

*******

So after Hogwarts, MC and everybody went their separate ways. She hasn't seen Sebastian for years, but occasionally, they talk via owl. I'm thinking that Seb went on and got a really exciting job where he could travel and explore? Maybe MC got some kind of job at the Ministry that was a little less exciting?

Anyway, MC ends up meeting a handsome man at the office she works at, and he courts her before proposing to her. She says yes, even though she still harbours deep feelings for Sebastian, but she hasn't seen him for literally years.

At first, the fiance is really nice and kind, but he's been wearing her down little by little. A bit controlling. MC feels she's becoming quiet and docile.

There's a Hogwarts reunion in Hogsmeade and MC reunites with everyone. Sebastian attends, and there's still this literal connection between him and MC. They chat, and she introduces him to her fiance, whom Seb dislikes very much. He sees how they interact with each other and is furious.

Seb corners MC later in the night, after a few drinks, and tells her her fiance is an ass. That he's draining her spark. MC is angry at Seb, but there's so much sexual tension between them. Queue elicit affair-y smut between them.

Maybe fiance discovers and tries to drag MC away, but Sebs having none of it? Meh, Im rambling now, but you get the idea 😅❤️

Thank you for the Ask! 💜 I hope this meets your expectations...I got rather into it, so it's quite long!

Emotional/Fluffy/Spicy ❤️🥰🌶

Sebastian Sallow x F!MC x OC William Bennett

Dearest MC,

I hope this letter finds you well. How is London? I hear the weather has been very hot this summer. I can only imagine the assault on the senses a bustling city like London conjures in such heat.

As for me, I have spent three weeks in Italy, and it is beautiful, rich with history. You would have loved the library archives with its relics. It made me think of you and our times together. I wish you could have seen it. Currently, I am making my way back to England, stopping off to meet with Ominis, before returning to Feldcroft.

I hear there is a reunion of our old class mates in Hogsmeade at the end of the month. All being well with my journey, I hope to make it and see everyone. It will be nice to reunite with old faces and hear new tales. Are you attending? It would be lovely to see your face again. If I am lucky enough to attend, then I hope to see you there.

Be well. I miss you, as always.

Yours,

Sebastian.

The parchment was beginning to curl at the edges, she had read it so many times. MC smoothed the tip of her finger over Sebastian's name, signed by his own hand, and felt a weight settle heavily over her chest. His letters were few and far between, but each one woke up the most secret part of her heart. That special place where she kept her feelings for Sebastian curled up tight.

MC had not seen Sebastian for years, not since he had left to travel the world for his new job, leaving her behind to sit at a stuffy Ministry desk all day. She cherished every letter he sent, but her deepest desire was to see him, to hear his voice. It tightened her throat just to think of it.

"Darling, are you here?"

MC jumped at the sound of William's voice and quickly folded the parchment, tucking it away safely inside her blouse. She smoothed her hair and set her face into one of calm sweetness, William did hate it if she didn't look pleased to see him.

She grabbed the pile of files from her desk that needed to be stored and stood up, making herself look busy as William appeared in her office doorway. He looked dapper in his fine suit, top hat in hand, his coat over one arm. He smiled, blue eyes lighting up at the sight of her. "There you are, my love," he said. "Care for some lunch?"

"Of course," she said. She patted the files. "Do I have time to file these?"

He looked at the folders, a slight frown on his lips. "If you must. I will be glad to see the day when you no longer have to be messing about with old, dusty archives."

"It's not so bad," she replied. She attempted a smile, trying to please him. "I quite enjoy it. When I was at Hogwarts..."

"Yes, yes, I know," he said, waving a hand to brush away her words. He moved to tug the files from her arms and dump them on her desk. "Soon you will not need to worry about such things. You will have social events to attend, girlfriends to have afternoon tea with. As my wife, you will want for nothing, I promise you. No need to sit at a desk all day wasting your time with your nose stuck in a book."

He chuckled and shook his head, fetching her coat from the hook. "Honestly, women who read!" He clicked his tongue and held the coat up for her. "I thought we would lunch at that lovely place near the river we like."

"Of course," she agreed. "Whatever makes you happy, my dear."

His smile was satisfied as he took her arm and led her out of the office. She kept her head down and her smile polite, nodding and saying all the appropriate words as they walked from the Ministry towards their restaurant.

Behind this meek mask, her heart was twisting at the feel of Sebastian's letter against her breast. How had she let her old life slip so far through her fingers? How had she ended up so lost?

She tightened her hold on her fiancé's arm, thinking that he might be the only thing holding her up right now. Handsome William Bennett, heir to a railroad fortune, deep in favour with the Minister for Magic, and admired by many. He had charmed her, courted her relentlessly, and then he had proposed. It had been the bottom of a long, lonely, slippery slope and she had accepted.

The huge diamond glittered on her finger, but her heart felt dull, empty. Somehow MC had lost herself and she wasn't sure how to get herself back.

....*....

The train slowed to a stop at Hogsmeade Station and MC stepped from her carriage, hand in William's as he escorted her, the image of the perfect gentleman. Behind his polite demeanour, he was quietly seething. He had not wanted to make this trip, but had refused to allow her to travel alone. It was unbecoming for a young woman, he had lectured. So, despite his disdain, he had accompanied MC.

The Scottish Highlands were looking as beautiful as ever and MC took a deep breath, her eyes drinking in the familiar sights. She felt some of the weight lifting from her heart. It felt like coming home.

The next port of call was The Three Broomsticks. William had reserved two rooms for them.

"We could, of course, share a room," he murmured, near her ear. She felt herself clam up, her fingers clutching his arm a little tighter. He mistook the movement for something a little more desirable and brushed his fingers over her knuckles. "We will be wed come the winter, it wouldn't be the most terrible thing to share a bed, and you could almost say it is a romantic setting."

He gestured at the quaint little village, his eyes warming with desire as he gazed down at her. "I would love nothing more than for you to come to me at night, share my bed."

She flushed and lowered her gaze. William was handsome, to be sure, and MC had shared kisses with him, polite courting touches. But there was no fire there, no burning need to feel him closer. Waiting for marriage was an excuse, and one that would soon be void. MC didn't want to think on it.

"I...I'm not sure if that's entirely appropriate," she said, quickly. "This is a close knit community, people talk. We should wait until we are married, William. It's the right thing to do."

William's lips tightened in disappointment, but he nodded, regretfully removing his caress from her hand. "Of course, my love. Seperate rooms it is."

MC fought back her shiver of relief.

That evening, dressed in a dark green dress with silver threading in the bodice (not in the hope of impressing a certain Slytherin, of course), MC entered the bar of The Three Broomsticks. Her corset was tight, but she was breathless for a whole other reason. Tonight, she might see him. Sebastian might have come.

"MC!" Poppy came bounding out of nowhere, cheeks flushed with happiness, her hands clasping MC's tightly. "Oh, I am so glad you came!"

The girls embraced and MC felt the burn of tears as her old friend squeezed her tightly. "I have missed you, Poppy. And look at you! So beautiful!"

William frowned at such open displays of affection, but he was polite when introduced. MC couldn't help but see the flicker of confused disappointment in Poppy's eyes at the word, fiancé. MC fixed her smile in place and moved to greet the others.

Garreth and Leander were there, Natty and a few others MC was pleased to see, but her eyes couldn't help but stray to the entrance, her heart hoping for a glimpse of unruly brown hair.

William was bored, his face a little sour as he stood by the bar. He watched MC closely, frowning when Garreth and pulled her in for a hug. MC had soothed William with soft touches on the arm, reassuring smiles, but she was tense, afraid of doing or saying something wrong. If only he had let her come alone. If only she could breathe.

And then the doors opened, two men walked through, and MC's heart dropped, stilled and then soared, beating a mile a minute. Ominis looked so dashing, and tall, commanding the space around him as his wand led him further into the bar. Beside him, as always, was Sebastian.

"Oh," MC breathed. The sound escaping her lips without any thought for hesitation. Oh, but he looked so wonderful! Better than she had ever imagined!

Sebastian's face had lost it's smooth roundness of boyhood, but it had filled out in other ways, ways that made MC's mouth feel so very dry all of a sudden. His shoulders, his hips, the length of his legs, the way he laughed at something Ominis had just said, his head falling back just so. Her starved eyes gobbled it all, hungrily. He pushed long fingers into his hair, rumpling the brown locks and MC felt her hands clench into tiny little fists. Oh, how her fingers longed to do the same.

She thought she might cry, faint like some over dramatic socialite, or maybe just lose the entire contents of her stomach right here in front of everyone. Butterflies were flipping madly in there and she pressed a hand to her chest, that heavy tightness seeming to become a pounding thud. Or was that her heart?

"Goodness me, is that the youngest Gaunt boy?" William asked.

Ominis was hardly a boy any longer, and would no doubt frown at the term, but William could be pompous and irritating at times. He had a habit of behaving as if people were below him, and MC wondered how it had not bothered her sooner.

MC tore her gaze from Sebastian to nod at him. "Yes, Ominis Gaunt," she replied. Her words were a little breathless, her eyes desperate to return to Sebastian. "I thought I had told you I attended Hogwarts alongside him."

William's gaze was sharp, almost irritated. "You did not. You must introduce me, MC."

"Of course," she agreed. She took William's arm and they moved to join her two favourite Slytherin boys at the bar.

Sebastian's gaze fell on MC and he stilled, pure delight washing over his features. "You came!" He exclaimed.

Ominis stilled beside him, his head tilting a little in the direction Sebastian had spoken. His words were soft, filled with warmth. "Don't tell me MC is here?" He smiled and held out a hand. "Then I must greet her at once. Where are you, my dear, for I have missed you a good deal."

MC flushed and held out her hand, placing it in Ominis', who then placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. William watched the whole thing, his mouth tightening at the familiarity between his fiancé and the young Mr Gaunt.

Sebastian was watching too, his eyes only for MC, as if he needed to savour detail as she had of him.

"Ominis, may I introduce my fiancé, William Bennett?" She guided Ominis towards William who shook his hand in greeting.

"Bennett?" Ominis asked. "Of the Bennett Railroad family?"

"The very same," William said, proudly.

Sebastian's eyes at darkened at this introduction, his eyes now assessing William closely, his lips thinning a little. Ominis turned to introduce him, and while William was polite, he had no interest in Sebastian. He was more keen to speak with Ominis, to rub shoulders with a well known Wizarding family.

William looked down at MC. "Why don't you run along and chit chat with your little chums, my love, and let the men talk."

Sebastian's eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting upwards as he glanced between William and MC. A flush darkened MC's cheeks and she nodded meekly, unable to even meet Sebastian's gaze. If she had, she would have seen the shock in his eyes at her timid behaviour. The girl he knew would have been spitting fire if someone had belittled her like that.

MC left William to talk to Ominis, every fibre of her being trying to resist as she turned her back on Sebastian. It hadn't been enough, not nearly enough, and she almost gasped at the need to be nearer to him.

They sat for dinner, William dominating Ominis' attention, but he kept a possessive hand at MC's arm or lower back at any given opportunity. When they ordered, MC had quite fancied the chicken, but William ordered the beef for the both of them, not even consulting MC to see if that's what she wanted.

MC risked a glance towards Sebastian and swallowed at the fury in his eyes as he glared at William. Her heart pounded. Shame made her gaze drop to her lap, her fingers twisting her napkin. She felt like an outsider imposing in on her own body. Her very ears rung with the horror of losing her own sense of self.

She looked at the people sitting around the table, chatting, laughing, her own lips moving and attempting to smile, but it felt strange. Her heart craved all of this, these familiar and much loved faces, but her head was warped. She felt trapped.

The only thing that helped was the wine, and even that had been chosen and poured for her by William.

Poppy clasped her arm after they had finished their meal. She leant across to William. "I am going to steal your lovely fiancé for a time, we have some much needed girl talk to catch up on."

A crease appeared on his brow as he stared at Poppy, then he glanced across the table towards Sebastian, who was deep in conversation with Garreth. Slowly, he nodded. "Of course, you two ladies have fun."

Poppy led MC away from the table and outside into the cooling evening air. MC gulped down her breaths and held on to Poppy, grateful for the escape.

Sebastian may have been talking to Garreth, but he had been keeping an eye on MC all night, his fury mounting at the way that pompous bastard had belittled and shamed her. His fingers ached from the need to smash his fist into the prick's pretty face.

Poppy pulled a hip flask from her silk bag and held it out to MC. "Here, you look like you could do with some of this."

MC saw the flask. "That had better be fire whiskey," she said.

"What else?" Poppy grinned.

MC took the bottle and swallowed two long gulps, gasping, but relishing the burn as it went down.

"Why him, MC?" Poppy asked, bluntly. "Why William?"

MC shrugged. "He was kind to me."

Poppy frowned. "That is no reason to sign yourself up to marriage with him," she said. "I mean, you don't look yourself, not a happy, blushing bride in the slightest. And, yes, he is pretty, but he is no Sebastian, MC. Not by a long stretch."

MC gaped. "Wh...what?"

Poppy gave her look. "Oh, MC, really? We're not kids anymore, and you are not fooling anyone, especially me. The tension between you two is so thick, you could slice it with a good Diffindo!"

MC's blush touched the tips of her ears. "Do you think William has noticed?"

"If he hasn't, then he is even more of a fool than I thought."

MC stared at her. Horror was one emotion tugging at her. The very idea of William knowing the depth of her feelings for Sebastian was chilling. But she could also see the ridiculous predicament she had found herself in, and it really was one of her own making. But how would she get out of it?

Maybe it was the alcohol going to her head, or maybe she was going mad. Either way, she started giggling, and then she couldn't stop. And then Poppy was giggling. It felt good, so good. It was a release and MC seized it with both hands. She held up the fire whiskey. "I think I need some more of this."

....*....

The air inside the bar was becoming too suffocating and her corset felt like an iron band. MC was flushed from the whiskey, hot and flustered by the presence of one Mr Sallow, and yet he still wasn't close enough for her liking.

She met his gaze for about the 100th time and he smiled, a delicious, sinfully beautiful smile. Her lips parted. Oh, Merlin. She really might faint this time. And then he was moving towards her. Her pulse picked up the pace and she wiped sweaty palms against her hips.

William was visiting the bathroom, there was no other distraction, and then Sebastian was in front of her. "There you are," he said, softly. His gaze was warm. "Finally, a moment alone."

"Yes," she breathed. She stared at him, inwardly kicking herself. Yes? Is that really all she could say?

A torrent of unspoken words hung between them, suspended, dangling like tempting fruit. Now that he was right there, in front of her, her tongue seemed frozen and all she could do was stare.

A flicker of concern clouded his eyes. "I did worry a little when you didn't reply to my last letter. I had hoped you would be here, even if just to ease my mind that you were alright."

"I'm sorry," she said. "That was rude of me. But, I am glad to see you here. I am glad you made it safely home."

He nodded, a small smile on his lips, but he still looked concerned. "I didn't expect to find you engaged, though. That was a surprise. At least you have someone looking out for you, if that's what he actually does?"

Her lips tried to lift into a smile, but she had never been able to lie to him. The words that fell from her lips felt stilted, wrong. "I'm fine."

His eyes narrowed a little. "You are happy, aren't you? I mean, it's what you want."

She knew what he meant, oh she did. He knew her better than she knew herself, even though miles and time had kept them apart. She needed to smile and nod, the perfect little puppet she had become, tell him that she was happy, she was fine. Her life was all roses and smiles, etc, etc.

Her lips parted but nothing came out. His eyes dropped to her mouth, distracted by their movement and nerves made her tongue dart outwards, flicking over her bottom lip. Her breathing stalled at the way his eyes darkened, a fire building behind them, and her traitorous body responded. Flame, searing and coiling deliciously, overwhelmed her and she actually gasped, because she was leaning forward. Her body, like a magnet, was drawn to him, impossibly drawn to where it belonged.

Shock at the realisation made her straighten and she pressed trembling fingers to her cheeks. Where she belonged!

Merlin, she couldn't breathe. She turned on her heel and made a dash for the door, not caring who saw as she grabbed up the skirt of her dress and headed out into the fresh air.

Of course, Sebastian followed. Hadn't he always?

He caught up to her, took her arm, and spun her to face him. "Please...don't." She gasped.

He didn't let go. She looked down at where his long fingers held her forearm, not gripping her, just holding her. No possession, no demand, just a touch. Her lips trembled.

"I've seen you face countless monstrous enemies, take down the darkest wizards and slaughter trolls in broad daylight," he said. "But I have never seen you cower, or hide as much as you have tonight, MC, and it rips me open. It kills me to see you so, a shadow of your former self. How did this happen? Is it him? Does he hurt you?"

"Of course he doesn't hurt me! Don't be ridiculous."

"You're aren't happy though, are you? Not really," he pushed.

Her chest heaved against the tight laces of her corset, tears stinging the backs of her eyes. He was right, gods he was right and she hated it, because it meant she was wrong, she had failed.

"I...we shouldn't be talking like this..." She glanced around the now darkened street.

Sebastian's face tightened. "Why? Because dear William won't like it?"

She flinched.

He tugged her a little closer. She let him, her eyes glued to his. "Well, I don't give a flying fuck what he thinks."

A small cry left her lips as he grasped her hand and began to walk her away from the entrance of the pub, his stride determined. She had to jog to keep up, her little heels clacking on the cobbles, her other hand lifting the hem of her dress.

He took her to a darker, more secluded corner, and a thrill shot through her despite everything. She found herself backed up against a stone wall, his face inches from hers. He leant a hand against the wall near her head, his other hand coming up to gently cup her face. She closed her eyes, the touch of his skin against hers a forbidden flame.

Merlin, she was leaning into it!

"Tell me the truth," he begged. "Tell me he makes you happy, and I will leave you alone, I promise. But if he doesn't, even if there is the smallest doubt, then tell me. You can tell me."

"Sebastian..." Her voice was a whisper, a plea. "Don't..."

"I cannot bare the thought of leaving you with him if he is going to continue to crush you like he is, because that girl I knew at school, that wonderful, fiercesome girl, who knocked me on my arse on my first day...that girl is going to die if you let him bully you like that."

She stared up at him. Her heart hurt. Maybe she was already dead inside and that was why she had let things slide so far.

He looked down suddenly, and she followed his gaze. Her breath stilled. When had her fingers threaded themselves into his clothing? She was grasping the front of his vest, a fistful of cloth under white knuckles. She couldn't let him go either. If she let him go, then she might just float away, lost to the skies, a drifting ghost of herself.

Their gazes met again. How she had missed those eyes!

"Don't look at me like that." His voice was rougher, deeper, an edge to it that made her skin erupt with goosebumps.

"Why not?" She was playing with fire. She was going to burn herself.

"Because it makes me want to throw decency out the window, and kiss you until I can't breathe," he said, darkly.

Oh, she was definitely going to burn. She realised she didn't care.

The fingers curled in his vest pulled him closer until his lips were a breath from hers. "Do it," she sighed. "I can't breathe anyway."

The moan in her throat was relief. His lips found hers, a soft, teasing taste that promised so much more. Eagerly, she welcomed him, parting her lips and offering her tongue, the taste of him more intoxicating than any fire whiskey.

Her fingers found their way into his hair, sliding through the softness, and it sharpened the ache growing within her. Her body pressed up against his, the solid length of his frame so safe, but exciting. Their clothing was an irritating barrier, her skin screamed to feel his, like she wouldn't feel complete until she could wrap herself around it.

"Gods, MC..." He groaned, his mouth moving to taste her jaw, her throat, his tongue swirling up to flick against her ear. Her grip in his hair tightened. Yes, this was what she wanted, what she craved.

MC closed her eyes, savouring the feel of his lips on her neck, his mouth sucking, tasting her flesh. The warmth of his hand seared through the silk of her dress at her waist, the bones of her corset stressed under the pace of her breathing. "More," she panted. "Sebastian..."

He claimed her mouth again, his hips rocking against her, her back scraping against the stone of the wall. She smoothed a hand down the expanse of his back, melting at the flex of muscle, before drifting lower, daring a squeeze of his delicious backside.

"Fuck," he breathed. The profanity sent a crackling thrill through her, and she moaned. Yes, she would love to do that, craved it even.

He began moving his mouth downwards again, lower this time to swirl his tongue against the tops of her breasts, the flesh moving rapidly above the rim of her corset with every panting breath. His fingers tugged at the damned thing. "I need more of you," he muttered.

And she would give it, gladly, she realised. A pin slid from her hair, a long lock tumbling free to tickle against her flushed cheeks. She was lost, drunk on his kisses, his touch, and it was nowhere near enough. She felt like a woman starved.

A rustle of silk, cool air against her legs and then a warm hand smoothing up the flesh of her thigh. The sound that left her throat was almost feral. "Yes, yes," she panted. She grabbed at him, fingers tugging his shirt free from his trousers, a hand sliding up underneath to explore the hot, firm flesh waiting for her there.

She ached for his touch, her thighs trembled in anticipation as he slid his hand higher. Just a bit more, she begged silently, her eyes squeezed tight. Just a bit higher. His finger tips grazed against damp silk, and then he was gone, ripped from her clutches forcefully, and someone was shouting.

"How dare you!" William held Sebastian by the scruff of his neck, shaking him, fury twisting his face into something terrible, frightening even. "How dare you lay your hands on my fiancé!"

MC was gasping, her hair in disarray, her skirts caught up revealing a bare leg. Red marks of passion bloomed on her throat and chest, all the way down to her neckline. Her legs shook, not from fear, but from a need unmet.

"William!" She held out a hand for him to stop, the other hand hastily smoothing down her skirts. "Stop, William!"

Sebastian shook himself free of William easily enough, shoving him backwards and whipping out his wand. He aimed it at William, his lip curled. "Grab me like that again and you'll know about it!"

William pulled his own wand out, eyes narrowed. A stand off. William flicked his gaze towards MC and his fury faltered, his mouth gaped at the sight of her so dishevelled. "MC..."

She smoothed the loose strands of her mussed hair back from her face, the beginnings of a flush flooding her cheeks. She kept her hand held out, stepping between both men. "Lower your wands," she said. She looked at William. "Please."

"I think not," William said. "He dares to put his hands on you, violating you in such a way. I ought to castrate him for this!"

"I'd like to see you try," Sebastian spat. He adjusted his stance.

"Stop it, both of you!" MC had thought herself in a mess before, but this, this was something else.

"I knew it! I knew he was going to do something like this, just from the way he was watching you at dinner. His eyes never left you," William growled. "Disgusting, loathsome piece of trash. You are not worthy of her!"

MC gasped, her body moving to guard Sebastian. He was more than capable of looking out for himself, but she couldn't help it. Out of the two, she would jump in front of Sebastian first. Every time.

"Did he hurt you? I've a good mind to call an Officer to deal with this," William said. He was trying to aim his wand around her at Sebastian, outrage twisting his mouth.

He thought Sebastian had attacked her! It had not occurred to William that she had been willing. MC put her hands to her forehead. Oh, Gods, this was getting worse!

"There will be no need for an Officer," she said. She backed up towards Sebastian.

"Don't be ridiculous, MC," William snapped. "Now, step out of the way and let me deal with this filthy heathen."

MC went calm. She straightened, her eyes growing hard as an old fire awoke in her, the part of her that had been a fearless fighter. She backed up further still, her hands feeling for Sebastian and he took hold of one, his wand arm coming over her shoulder, still pointing at William.

William's eyes bulged as Sebastian wrapped his other arm about her waist, holding her against him. "What is this!?"

"Lower your wand," she said, coldly.

William hesitated, torn, but lowered his wand. "MC, you better start explaining this," he said. He looked from her to Sebastian, to the way Sebastian's arm held her protectively. "Did you let him touch you like that?"

William looked horrified, disgusted. MC felt a brief flash of shame, but shook it off. "I'm sorry, William," she said, calmly. "But, yes, I did."

William's jaw clenched. He stared at her, his humiliation playing out across his face. She swallowed. And then, William looked a little smug. "What will this do to your reputation?" He spoke with an oily undertone. "Oh dear, MC, rutting with a nobody in the street. Of course, how could I marry such a harlot? Your name will be a shameful piece of gossip whispered in parlour rooms. I expect it would be highly unlikely that the Minister would appreciate such behaviour. Such a shame to lose your pathetic little job over it too."

"You wouldn't," she gasped.

Sebastian moved his mouth closer to her ear, the warmth of his breath brushing her hair gently. "Let me take him," he whispered. "It would be my pleasure."

And he could do it, she knew he could. She had seen him kill before, just as he had seen her kill. She had covered for him, lied, to save him from Azkaban. She did not make that choice only to see him sent there anyway, and for her honour.

William shook his head in distate. "You would honestly choose him, over me?"

Her hand gripped Sebastian's arm, holding it against her stomach. "I love him," she said. There was no doubt, no faltering in her words. It was the truth at last. "I always have, ever since I was a girl."

She heard, and felt, Sebastian's breath hitch, and his arm tightened around her. She hoped with every fibre of her being that he felt the same way, otherwise she was making a monstrous fool of herself.

William flinched at her confession as if she had slapped him. He rubbed a hand over his face, shaking his head, and then his wand flicked upwards, a spell shooting from the end of it. His face pure rage.

But, Sebastian was ready. He blocked the spell with ease, and cast Bombarda in return, sending William flying across the street into a stack of crates. The crash echoed across the cobbles and MC gasped. "Sebastian!"

"It's alright, I've got you," he said. "I've got you."

She sagged against him. "Don't let me go," she whispered.

And then the world spun, blackness, and with a pop, they landed onto a wooden floor. MC sat up, disoriented, gazing around. Her stomach still catching up with her after Apparating.

She turned to look at Sebastian. She recognised where they were. It was his cottage in Feldcroft.

She was sitting on the floor with Sebastian, in his home, just the two of them. She had admitted that she loved him. The weight in her chest had lifted. The enormity of the whole evening crashed over her and the tears gathered in her eyes. Her lips trembled, and then she was sobbing.

Immediately, Sebastian pulled her into his arms, kisses rained down over her hair, her face. His lips kissed the tears from her cheeks and his hands soothed her, calming strokes on her arms and hair. "It's alright, you're safe here," he murmured. "You never have to go back there, to him. It's alright now."

She pulled back to look at him, her hand moving to his cheek. It was real. He was real. "You were gone," she sobbed. "You left and I thought I might never see you again."

His face was pained, his eyes regretful. "I had to leave, get away from this house. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

She buried her face into his shirt, clutching him tightly. "I can't believe you're really here."

"I would have taken you with me if...if I had known..." He faltered and took a breath. He leant his chin on top of her head. "Did you mean what you said back there?"

She nodded. "Every word."

He groaned, squeezing her tighter. "Gods, the time we have lost. Years apart...I should have taken you with me."

She looked up at him. "We still have time," she said. She hesitated. "We could have the rest of our lives."

Their gazes locked. "I've always loved you," he said. "I thought it was only in my dreams that you felt the same way."

She shifted up and put her forehead against his. She huffed a laugh. "We're both as bad as each other. Ominis was right, we are a right pair of idiots."

"I won't tell him you said that, he would be far too smug," Sebastian grinned.

He took her left hand and pulled the huge diamond from her ring finger. "Let's get rid of this shall we?"

"I should return it," she mused.

"Not in person you won't," he said, firmly. He twirled the ring thoughtfully. "Wait here."

He climbed to his feet and moved towards a chest in the corner. He rummaged through it until he found a small box and returned to kneel on the floor beside her. He flipped the lid and turned it to face her. "This was my mother's," he said.

MC looked at his face, surprised to see him looking so shy. She couldn't recall a time she had ever seen Sebastian shy. Then, she looked in the box. Inside was a silver ring set with a pretty emerald, a tiny diamond each side of it.

"It's not as big as the one you were wearing," Sebastian said.

"It's beautiful," she said immediately. And it was. Not flashy, not heavy, not a statement. Beautiful, and sentimental to him.

"Would you wear it?" He asked. She met his gaze, lips parted. "As my wife."

He honestly had to stop stealing her breath like this, it really couldn't be healthy for a girl.

He smirked, his eyes playful. "You could come and see the world with me. I think it might look even more beautiful with you beside me."

She smiled. "How can I say no to that?"

"Quite easily," he said. "But I would rather you said yes."

She looked down at his mother's pretty ring and held out her hand, fingers spread a little. "I suppose you had better make sure it fits then."

His fingers shook as he took the ring from the box and slipped it on to her finger. Of course, it was a perfect fit. He smiled. "It's like it was waiting for you."

She took hold of his shirt front, fingers gripping hold of him like she had back in Hogsmeade. "Now, where were we?" She asked.

His lips curved into that delicious smile she loved so much. "Allow me to refresh your memory," he said.

His mouth claimed hers as if he never intended to stop, and she didn't want him to. Ever.

Click HERE for part 2

#hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian sallow #mc x sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #hogwarts legacy #blueraineshadows

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